#be a shinigami full time

[kingofanemptyworld]

proof I haven’t forgotten about speak of the devil’s final chapter

[princescar]

Fic where Ryoko gets a Death Note and she's now forced to suffer with RC Shinigami

[kinoshitayuri]

i still think of checkface sometimes

like where is he chilling

[v0idbird]

hey sorry to bother you but kiefbowl / the serving cunt post is marked red by shimigami eyes

oh, thank you for telling me!!

in case anyone is curious, this is the post anon is talking about:

[fuji-iri]

POINTS TO THE ENTIRETY OF THE #DEATH KNIGHT YAKOU AU TAG AND NEO’S BLOG

more #death knight yakou au stuff. for the sake of it

(original au idea by @yakool-foolio! they’re the source of 99.99% of my brainrot. i can’t stop. help)

more doodles under cut!! hopefully nothing incredibly spoilery in there

[jeizet]

I've been thinking about Ichihime as a couple in the seireitei, like they passed away and now they are shinigamis full time

Orihime has a bakery there in the Seireitei, but works as a shinigami under Isame in the 10th division and Ichigo is Rukia's lieutenant of course.

[kiame-sama]

Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x Fem! Reader) Monster AU pt 10

(Ruggie is a Gnoll and can switch between bipedal and quadruped locomotion as easily as most people breathe. Any scent of food or the sound of someone eating something draws in Ruggie to investigate to see if he can have a snack or get some scraps from whoever is eating. Leona is usually the one that feeds Ruggie the most, so he has earned Ruggie's loyalty. The fastest way to befriend a Gnoll is through food.)

Warnings; Yandere, Yandere behavior, multiple Yanderes at different Yandere stages/levels, Romantic and Platonic Yanderes, smothering behavior, blood, mention of menstrual cycle, blood consumption, Crow, Selkie, Sphinx, Shadow-man, Minotaur, Vampire bat, Dragon, Grim, Shinigami, Harpy,

Note; Ortho is STRICTLY platonic.

~~~~~~~~

It was dark and well before those first few rays of light were to peak over the horizon. It had been thirteen days since the Human had arrived in Twisted Wonderland and already a representative had arrived from at least seven different Kingdoms and Queendoms as well as a few scientists. Crowley had managed to convince them to wait a few more days, but the many Kingdoms and Queendoms were eager to confirm there was a Human and confirm they were being treated well.

The several staff members were sitting in the Crow's office as they all contemplated what to do with the arrival of the representatives. None of them wanted the Human taken away from them or from Night Raven College grounds. In the next few days they would have to ensure nothing harmed or unsettled their Human before the representatives arrived. This would prove difficult given the already obvious interest almost all of their students had taken in the abnormal Human.

That wasn't even the worst of their troubles, however.

"And you are certain our (Y/n) has imprinted on Grim?"

"Absolutely certain. She was stressed after waking from the injury and overblot, but she was more distressed over being unable to find Grim and only calmed once he was reunited with her. According to the other students she even threw young Riddle after he targeted Grim in his Feral state which is what lead to her injury."

"Then he can't be removed from her side any longer. My memories of Humans are old, but I do know Humans- especially the young bearers- take guarding those they imprint upon rather seriously. There will be questions to the potential threat Grim poses to (Y/n), he is a forest creature of unknown type and origin. We can't guarantee he is safe to keep around her, but we can't remove him either without a catastrophic response from (Y/n)."

Divus frowned at the memory, displeased to have not even a full week pass before the Human had been injured by a Feral student. Not to mention said Feral student was supposed to be the safest bet for a guard for the Human. Still, despite what had happened it had proved that the collar worked to some degree and that many of the student body was willing to protect the soft Human.

"In any case," Trein began, lifting his tea cup to take a long sip before setting back on the table, "there are several issues with her dorm that need to be addressed. Not to mention the fact that she has a rather limited wardrobe given her very recent arrival. The representatives will be looking at all of these things, from safety, to general happiness, to even her diet. If we are to keep her here, we will need to address everything before the representatives arrive."

Of course, most things were still being figured out as it had only been a little under two weeks since that fateful day. There was very little time now and they would have to pull several Housewardens from classes to aid in resolving these issues.

"I can handle the clothing issue, I will be pulling those two Pomefiore pups to aid in my pursuits. I have little doubt Vil and Rook will prove to be useful in my endeavors."

"Good idea. While you work on that, I can begin discussions with Mr. Ashengrotto as to the state of the building. Dubious as his dealings may be, he is a valuable resource."

Most issues they faced could be solved within the timeframe they had been presented with especially given the fondness their students had for the soft Human. The only issue that was most prevalent in that moment was the Dragon-sized problem of Malleus Draconia. He was a fantastic guard, but who knew how he would react to the idea of the representatives potentially trying to take this Human away from him and NRC.

"The question that remains is this; do we tell Birar Valley's prince and heir apparent to the throne Malleus, or do we try to keep him away from the representatives?"

Sam's question did bring up a very valid issue as they all knew Malleus had claimed their dear Human as a member of his Hoard. Dragons were notorious for having an ill temper towards anyone or anything that may threaten that Hoard. Beyond even the representatives, there were the many scientists from across the vast lands of Twisted Wonderland that wanted to get a good look at the Human and study her. Malleus would never allow such an intrusive and inquisitive bunch to poke or prod at his Human for long.

"Perhaps his handler can address that for us? Mr. Vanrouge has been quite adept at keeping Mr. Draconia peaceful despite a Dragon's natural temper and pride."

"Brilliant idea, Mozus. Ashton, you will be in charge of telling Mr. Vanrouge our plans and keeping him up to date with the impending arrival of our visitors. Sam, I trust you can handle the food situation? Shadowfolk are the next most culinary adept species after Humans."

Sam nodded, already looking at his own stock and comparing it with his most recent visit to (Y/n)'s kitchens. He would ensure to get a wider variety of spices and foods not typical to the broader student pallet, perhaps this Human could even surprise him in the kitchen. Despite the woefully short timeframe they had thanks to Cater's lack of discretion, it seemed like there was at least a chance at keeping the Human.

"Besides, if all else fails and they try to take her, we just set Mr. Draconia loose on them and they will either concede or fall."

~•§•~

You awoke to an unusual sensation on your neck. It was still dark outside but the faintest of light blue began to bleed into the sky as you slowly regained consciousness. The feeling on your neck was an odd one as it seemed like a mouth was nuzzled against your skin and slowly dragging a pair of soft lips over your pulse. Something about the almost unconscious movements confused you as you were usually the one cuddling, not the other way around.

The pair of black and pink wings told you who it was laying behind you and you vaguely wondered why Lilia had been drawn to your side as you slept. He had been the least problematic of your guards during your several days long stint with your own hormonal cycle, so you weren't particularly annoyed that he was holding you. Sure, the lack of personal space was wearing on you but supposedly your nestmates were going back to Diasomnia for the week.

In some ways you wondered if you would miss the group you had grown accustomed to and vaguely worried about getting to sleep without them. As odd as it was, there was a great comfort to having the four monsters sleeping by your side. You certainly never complained about the absolute warmth and comfort that was cuddling with Silver. Maybe you could convince one or two of the four to sleep in the nest whenever you felt lonely.

The soft growl of a stomach interrupted your thoughts as the sound had come from Lilia and you vaguely considered getting up to cook. It was far too early for your tastes, but something about the Bat's hunger made you feel on edge. Perhaps it was the way he unconsciously mouthed at your neck that gave you such an unsettled feeling. Perhaps it was the fact he had you wrapped up securely in his wings.

"Lilia," you whispered, trying to rouse the Bat without rousing your other nestmates, "you're getting a bit too nibbly there."

The Bat made an almost whining sound at your attempts to wake him, his wings tightening their hold around you and a soft mumble coming from him. You could feel his lips move against your neck more than you could hear him, unable to understand what he mumbled.

"Lilia-"

A startled yelp left your lips now as those pointed teeth of his dragged a bit too roughly against your neck for comfort. The sound rousing all of your nestmates rather quickly. You could see the way the eyes of the four men and one cat-beast snapped open and seemed to glow in the low light, reminding you of crocodiles, cats, and other predatory animals. It was surreal to see how quickly they woke as Lilia actually moved in a protective stance over you.

There was a moment of quiet as they took stock of their surroundings and their alert stress turned to confusion as they looked back at you. From their understanding, there was nothing they could find that could have caused you to cry out. You, however, were quick to touch your neck where the Bat had been mouthing and found he had not broken skin but the area he nipped was raised and irritated.

"(Y/n)," Lilia started, looking down at you as his wings lowered, "what's wrong?"

"You just bit me."

"Did I?"

Lilia seemed genuinely surprised at your words as he quickly examined where you had been touching your neck. Sure enough, there were two scrapes along where his fangs would have sat had he been mouthing the area. The hunger within him told him what information was missing as he sighed and moved from on top of you. He would have rathered you learn of his dietary needs in a less stress-inducing manner, but his own hunger had unconsciously acted for him.

"I'm sorry, (Y/n). It seems my instincts were getting the better of me."

"Instincts?"

"I'm what we call a Vampire Bat Fae, unlike many other Bat folk, my kind has a certain... Dietary need that we have to satisfy once in a while."

"Satisfy how?"

"I need blood. Specifically I need to drink blood. Usually Silver helps me with this 'craving' but even Malleus or Sebek have offered in the past."

"Like... From a cup?"

"No, the blood coagulates and clots too quickly in a cup. I have to drink from the source or the blood needs an anticoagulant- which rarely tastes good- for me to consume it from a cup."

You stared at the Bat Fae as he explained his actions to you, almost seeming upset with himself. They made enough sense that you vaguely wondered why he would keep such a thing secret from you. Vampire Bats existed in your world and though you weren't overly familiar with the species you knew even the little Bats of your world needed to consume blood.

"Why were you only at my neck then?"

"Well, as morbid as it may sound, your blood has a very appealing scent to me. I assume I unconsciously gravitated towards you due to your recent- and pardon me for saying this- bleeding cycle. The lingering scent of blood on you likely drew me in."

Some part of you wanted to snap at the Bat for trying to bite you, even if it was unconscious. Another part of you wanted to allow the hungry Bat to take a quick drink despite your reservations as a way to somewhat repay him. Lilia had been your original chosen guard and he had more than earned his keep given how many students and poachers alike he had driven off. Perhaps the Bat did deserve something for his efforts in protecting you.

"How much do you need?"

"A mouthful or two. Luckily I don't need to feed on blood often or in large amounts, just every now and again to make up the vitamins I can't gain from my food."

"... Do you want to drink my blood?"

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable. You are proving to be quite precious to me and an integral part of this Hoard, I would hate to drive you off for something as simple as blood."

You considered his words for a moment, staring at him as your hand rest over your neck where he had scraped his fangs against you. Sure, you just lost a good level of blood already thanks to your cycle, but maybe you could let the Bat take just a bit more. Out of those who seemed to gravitate towards you, Lilia had been the most reliable and the one to explain quite a bit to you when you didn't understand the ways of these monster men.

"... Will it make you happy?"

"What?"

"To feed on my blood. Would that make you happy and help you be content with your life?"

Lilia stared for a long moment, as if trying to figure out what exactly you were asking him. He did worry about saying the wrong thing if you were testing him for aggressive thoughts or behavior, but part of his brain insisted that he be honest with you.

"Yes. It will make me happy, but I still don't need to feed specifically from you if you are uncomfortable with that. Would I like to? Absolutely. I would consider myself somewhat of a gourmand when it comes to the taste of blood and your blood is very interesting to me. Would I take if it wasn't offered? I would try not to, but we both see how my instincts control the way I unconsciously act."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not horribly. I won't lie to you and say it is painless, but it is not as painful as an axe in the arm."

You almost snorted at this response, still feeling the dullest of throbs from your recently healed injury. Really, you had been so stressed and upset over potentially losing Grim that you barely felt any pain until it was already over and even then you were given pain management. At least Lilia didn't seem keen to lie to you about it.

"... Go ahead."

"(Y/n)?"

"Take a drink, Lilia. Either we all get up now so you can find blood somewhere else, or I give you blood now and I can get a few more hours of sleep."

"I want to make sure you are serious, (y/n). I don't want this to be a spur of the moment decision."

"I know. I am serious. Take a drink, Lilia. You're probably the one I would consider to be one of my first friends and you haven't complained even once about my attitude. That matters to me and is important to me. You are important to me."

Lilia gave a genuine smile at this, hugging you quickly. He had hoped you would be willing to share some of your sweet smelling blood with him and your approval now could mean you would let him take more drinks in the future. Naturally, Lilia didn't plan to force you to share with him, but he certainly wasn't upset you were willing to let him take a drink.

"Let me know if it hurts too much and I will stop. Okay?"

You nodded, staying still as the Bat moved behind you in a mimicry of how you had awoken. His wings wrapping around you as if he intended to cuddle you as he rest his mouth over your pulse. It was unnerving in some way to think about letting the Bat latch on to your neck and consume your blood, but you were being honest when you said his wellbeing mattered to you. Lilia was a good guard and a good friend despite everything that had happened.

"Hey, Bat-wings, don't hurt my Hooman, okay? I'm not gonna lose her, no matter what, so you better be careful."

"I know. I will try to not harm her."

Grim nodded, still seeming stressed with the situation as Lilia hummed. The Bat had easily found the ideal spot to bite, but he seemed to be taking his time either to try and soothe you or to make sure he has control of himself before actually biting. It would be a lie to say you didn't tense up somewhat when those fangs teased your skin.

"Child of man, if you need a distraction or to be soothed, I am content to speak with you."

"I- ah!"

You yelped again as those fangs sunk in and the bat began to nurse at the wound gently. He was clearly trying to be as gentle as possible and not move too much or drink too quickly as it would move his fangs in your skin. It was not pleasant by any means but you trusted Lilia to not take more than he needed.

"I think- ngh- I think you need a new name, Malleus."

"Is my current one insufficient?"

"No, I just think- ah- you could use a nickname. Something short and- and not so lofty."

"If that will appease you. I am eager to know what name you believe fits me most."

"Like M-Mal or Tsuno, or-!"

You fought to keep your hands from reaching up to where Lilia nuzzled against your neck, your own instincts upset with you at allowing such a creature to bite you. It was vaguely disturbing to feel the way he pulled back, his fangs sliding out of your neck with a little too much ease. His warm tongue made quick work of licking over the wound to catch whatever else spilled out as he wasn't keen to waste the delicious flavor.

"I am somewhat partial to Tsuno, perhaps Tsunotaro?"

"... The point of a nickname is to be shorter than your actual name. Tsunotaro is longer than Malleus."

"Tsuno works. As close to my name as Mal is, a new name certainly wouldn't be amiss."

Lilia hummed and used his magic to summon what appeared to be a bandage of some kind. He happily set to work cleaning and covering up the bite-mark as you tried to keep yourself focused on your conversation with Malleus. It was odd to be a blood-bag for the unusual Bat and to be somewhat bullying a literal Dragon into letting you give him a nickname, but your life has been odd since you woke in the coffin.

For now, it wasn't too much of a weight to bear.

~•§•~

The early morning meeting was well underway as it was akin to a mulligan from their meeting several days ago. Again, the Dragon was invited to the meeting and again the two dorm leaders of Ignihyde showed up to make the switch. Given the earlier meeting between the staff members, this hand-off needed to go without a hitch. Almost everyone was stressed as the Dragon walked into the room, his cloak sweeping behind him as his fellow guards walked the treasure they protected into the room as well.

You seemed tired, but still dressed in your uniform as you held Grim close to your chest. He was happily laying in your arms and snacking on what remained of the breakfast burrito you had thrown together that morning for breakfast. The scent drew a few jealous looks, but word of Grim's importance to you travelled quickly. Even Leona knew better than to try and bully the little cub-like monster out of his meal, lest the cub's mother react poorly.

For some of the Housewardens, seeing this odd creature was still a very surreal experience as she was an extinct species so casually attending their school. For one of them, it was his first time officially meeting the Human face to face. Idia really didn't consider the small amount of time spent in the Human's dorm as an official meeting and he was somewhat hoping the Human didn't remember his panicked sprint into her kitchen. He hoped the other Housewardens that had also sprinted to her dorm distracted from him as he wanted a mostly clean slate for their official meeting.

"Good morning, my precious little chick! Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough. Do we really have to switch out who lives in the dorms with me? I just got used to these guys..."

"Yes, we really do. Besides, it isn't all bad, the Housewardens were chosen for a reason and I have faith you will be protected! It's the Housewardens and teachers that are notified by your collar in the situation you are injured or attacked, you can trust them to protect you."

"If you say so..."

Your less than excited attitude towards the situation put your faithful Dragon on edge as well as several of the other Housewardens. They all wanted a chance to get to know you and be around you, only really knowing your species through rumor and myth, but they didn't want to cause you genuine distress. Idia was especially unnerved as he wanted to make your acquaintance and be your friend despite his severe lacking of social skills. He had hoped Ortho would be a good buffer as his younger brother was much more cheerful than he was.

"Don't worry, Nee-san! Nii-san and I will make sure you are safe and feel comfortable while we guard you!"

"I'm sure you will..."

"Oh, Nee-san, this is Idi-nii! My big brother."

Idia almost ran the moment your eyes landed on him and actually looked at him the way he looked at you so often through the many cameras he had around NRC. You could see him and perceive him where he had been the only one to see and perceive in the past. Always watching, yet never watched until now.

"Eep! She's looking at me... What do I do? Ortho, help!"

"Introduce yourself, silly!"

"I'm... Idia Shroud... Ortho's big brother and Housewarden of Ignihyde... Why is this so hard?"

"You're doing fine, Idi-nii."

He almost screamed as you walked over to him, looking at his bright flaming hair and making him want to sink into the chair or disappear behind a screen once more. As you observed him and the way he squirmed under your gaze, Vil scoffed loudly.

"I knew he didn't have it in him. He can't even talk to us, why would anyone think he can talk to her? Does anyone genuinely think Idia could even fight when push comes to shove?"

"Hey," you interrupted with a frown, seeing as Idia wouldn't argue with Vil regardless of what Vil said or did, "leave him alone. He is here, isn't he? That's more than most could say. You can act the act and talk the talk, but why do you feel the need to put him down? Does it make you feel better to know you can easily do something he struggles with?"

Vil scoffed again and looked away from you, wanting to argue with you but also wanting to stay in your good graces. Despite how Vil felt the others had no right to be in your presence, he wasn't going to drive you away from himself by speaking his mind. The actor knew better than to speak until he had you alone and held within his own talons.

"You really don't have to do that... It's the way they all act with me. You don't-"

"Don't care."

"Ghk-!"

"Just because you let them treat you that way doesn't mean I will let them treat you that way. You're my new guard for the week and you're a Housewarden, right? So, screw what they think. You have a right as much as they do. Besides, my talk with Ortho leads me to believe you are more useful to me than a lot of others could be."

"H-how?"

"I want to play videogames. I loved my videogames back in my world. It feels like no one else plays and I want to play even for just a little bit. It is easier to stave off the feeling of pressure and the stressors of life with a controller or keyboard in hand. Help me forget I am somewhere far from home, okay?"

Idia slightly perked up at this, hearing you talk about using videogames to escape certain aspects of life. He had done it himself so many times that he almost began to believe he was alone in this avoidant behavior because it seemed like everyone else didn't need that escape the same way he did.

"You... Game?"

"Yes, and I have been twelve or thirteen days and counting without playing. This makes me incredibly upset. I have classes today, so I can't play right now, but I would like to have access to a gaming system even if this cursed place doesn't have the games I'm used to. Can you help me with that?"

"Yes."

"Good, then we have nothing else to worry about right now. Right?"

Idia nodded, beginning to feel unusually comfortable now that he knew what it was you expected of him. It really wasn't a big ask at all and Idia had already been planning on setting up more than a few devices in your dorm. He figured it would help to keep him comfortable outside of his room and keep Ortho entertained. Neither Idia nor Ortho needed much sleep and their species was prone to spending days awake, so he wanted to make sure he and his little brother could have entertainment while you slept.

"Right. Ortho and I don't have classes today, so we can get things set up right away."

"Alright. That is what I like to hear. Can I reasonably assume things will be ready by the time my last class is over, or should I lower my expectations for getting in some gaming today?"

"I can have everything ready and set up in no time. If you wanted, you could cut out of half your classes today and start gaming before lunch."

You smiled in response to his words and for some reason it made his heart flip wildly in his chest. He liked seeing that gentle and almost sweet smile, liking it even more now that it was directed at him. Sure, he had seen it through the visor Ortho wore while you talked to the young Shinigami, but it was a whole new experience being face-to-face with you now.

"Music to my ears. Last question; what kind of foods do you like? I will be cooking for myself so I will also cook for you if you want, but I'm not a mind-reader and I have no idea what is safe for you and Ortho to eat. Especially Ortho."

"Wh-what? You're gonna cook traditional Human meals for us? Seriously?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I feed those who are protecting me?"

"This is the best day of my entire 88 year fanboy life..!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Ortho and I are gonna go set up. See you after class."

Despite how nervous Idia had been, there was something disarming about the soft Human. He was quite large in comparison to their stature, standing well above most in the school despite wishing to just disappear in the background. Even sitting he had to look down at the little Human.

Something about how soft she looked made him want to grab her and never let go, he was starting to understand why the others were acting the way they did. Something about being close to someone he considered incredibly cute and small was endearing. Actually being near this soft Human made him realize just how little she was.

"I don't know, Hooman. This one has a kinda funny look to him."

"Grim, be nice. We have to at least trust the Headmage is correct in everyone here being safe."

"Fine... But I'm not sharing the nest with him!"

"Oh, absolutely not. Malleus made that nest and only his Hoard is allowed to use it, you know that. Lilia told us the rules."

"Am I part of Tsuno's Hoard too?"

"You're part of my hoard," you kissed Grim's forehead gently and several of the onlookers felt burning jealousy, "so you count by Proxy."

Grim purred at this and you turned back to the Shinigami. He was very much an older and larger version of Ortho in terms of appearance, but obviously very different from his bold and affable little brother. Also, you heard his mumbling quite easily and that meant he was seventy-five years older than Ortho. That meant either Ortho was very smart and advanced for his young age or Idia just couldn't attend a school without someone else accompanying him.

You had also never seen this student around except for the brief passing glance when he entered your dorm several days back with the others. It was odd to you that he really didn't stand out much to you back then like he did now, but you also weren't really in the mood to entertain guests at the time. Much like Ortho, Idia had more technology on him than most students had at all and he seemed to be almost hiding behind it as he suddenly turned away in his chair seeming to try and compose himself while looking away from you and somewhat out of your sight.

It was while he was turned away that a voice unfamiliar to you spoke up.

"Crowley? It's imperative I speak with you-"

Walking into the room was a bird-man that somewhat reminded you of an owl entered the room, pausing abruptly as he noticed you staring at him curiously. He seemed to be an older Harpy man judging from his feathers and general bird-like appearance, several gray feathers grew alongside his hair and came up in two points like ears. The man seemed taken aback at your presence as he slowly set the scrolls in his hands down, seeming to study you closely as you watched him warily.

"In... In all my years... Here you are."

He gestured to you and you felt more than a little upset at the treatment. Sure, you understood they were surprised but that still didn't mean it felt very good to have someone gawk at you. You weren't a pet and you weren't some sideshow attraction.

"Here you are."

"Ambrose! This kind of casual disregard for decorum is unlike you! Explain yourself!"

Crowley was quick to get inbetween you and the newcomer, his feathers fluffed and wings somewhat raised. It was clear the Crow was blocking this Owl-man from taking too long a look at you as his wings spread and he almost seemed to caw angrily.

"Crowley, my old friend," the man paused, glancing at you and almost grimacing, "more have been spotted in the woods. It's not just trophy hunters, there are Fae among them. Townsfolk are starting to talk and the rumors at Royals Sword Academy are more than a little wild. We need to unite and discuss the-" he lowered his voice, "the Human."

"This meeting is dismissed, students. Everyone make sure to get to your classes. (Y/n), my chick, do you need a guide to class from here?"

You were about to shake your head when Vil came sweeping over, his crest up and his movements almost an exaggerated graceful motion. He seemed to be trying to show off in a way as if the presence of the two other birds made him suddenly need to present himself. It could have been your perception of the situation, but Vil almost seemed threatened by the increased avian competition and was keen to get you away from both older birds.

"I will happily show you to class, (Y/n). My class is right nearby, so I will gladly show you the way. Come now, we can't dawdle."

The Peacock was quick to herd you away from the room and the other Housewardens, ignoring the look Malleus gave him as he passed by. You wondered who that man was or what it was he was so worried about, but you knew it had something to do with you. Those games and potential earthly comforts you may be able to get from Idia seemed all the more tangible now.

All you had to do now was get through the day.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Do you have any plans for what happens with Urahara's shop once Aizen is dealt with? I mostly ask cus the other day I binged the AIEWAM tag, then had a dream about the Shinigami using it as a base of operations in Karakura. I don't know if that is likely, or plausible, but it was fun to picture random shinigami doing customer service.

No that's more or less what happens to it!

After Aizen is dealt with, Urahara is facing some pretty significant personal problems: his rejection by the 12th division, being pregnant with his first child (and Yoruichi's nervous breakdown of impending parenthood) and Nihofornia's National Tax Agency finally catching up to him. As a shinigami, Urahara is aware of the many ways to shimmy around death, but there is no certainty like Taxes.

It's Don Kanonji, the most reasonable and level-headed adult in the whole damn fic, who proposes the solution: between his careers of swimsuit model, UN Translator, exorcist and fashion designer, Don is also a Certified Accountant. After going over she shoebox full of miscellaneous receipts and assorted Papers That Might Be Important, Don negotiates a deal with the tax agency around Kisuke's dubious status as a citizen and even more dubious bookkeeping: kisuke will sell the business to someone with a real social security number and pay up a large percentage of the staggering amount of money he owes in exchange for being allowed to rent the building from the new owners and continue his path to legitimate citizenship and no further financial chicanery.

"Okay, but who's going to pony up the cash? I don't have that kind of money!" Kisuke wails, fully in the grip of second-trimester hormone swings.

"Urahara-san. Kisuke. Sandalhat. Buddy. Pal." Ichigo's classmate Keigo sighs, fondly patting the man on the shoulders as he sat down on the couch beside Urahara. "We're friends, right?"

"We're people who know each other's home addresses." Kisuke sniffles.

"Close enough!" Mizuiro waves, sitting down on Urahara's other side. "-and you're former second division, real cloak-and-dagger stuff. So you know that sometimes it's best to not ask so many questions, right?"

Kisuke frowned with growing suspicion. "I might have been..."

"Great! All you need to do is make Tessai clean out the garage, turn the paperwork over to me and Mizuiro, keep an ear on the line to soul society, and focus on getting this place ready for your little bundle of joy-" Keigo smiled, gesturing around the decidedly bachelor padded living room.

"-and don't worry about where this came from!" Mizuiro chirped happily, hefting a large briefcase onto the table with a loud thud that popped open the lid, revealing a frankly alarming amount of cash inside.

"I'm worrying." Kisuke grimaced.

"We very specifically requested the opposite of that." Keigo pouted.

"That's at least thirty grand in there." Don remarked with a casual glance at the carefully packed but decidedly used bills inside.

"There is Thirty-one thousand, two hundred seventy-eight point oh-six Troyen, which is exactly two and a half times this shop's discretionary income last year, and a very generous price for the business!" Mizuiro beamed.

"Why can't you guys use a normal currency like Kan?" Kisuke pouted, trying to do conversion rates in his head.

"Well for one thing, fiat currency is a hell of a lot better than anything based on the value of rice." Keigo nodded. "Though it is kinda stupid that we didn't update the name after we went off the gold standard during world war three."

"There was a third world war?" Kisuke yelped.

"A cold one, back in the eighties. You didn't notice were busy making sure Isshin and Masaki Kurosaki didn't implode." Tessai called from the kitchen.

"Oh." Urahra mumbled.

"Look, it's really quite simple- you'll go on basically as you have been with the candy shop-" Mizuiro smiled with the soothing demeanor of an unexpected adder. "-only I'll be your landlord and Keigo will be your manager!"

Urahra stared blankly at the boys, then looked up at Don Kanonji, who was reading over the contents of the file folder Mizuiro had handed him when the boys came in. "...That can't possibly be legal, right?"

"Hm?" Don hummed, looking up over his glasses. "Oh, yes. The government would really prefer a check but cash is perfectly legal tender to settle all debts with."

"But they're kids!" Kisuke gestured hysterically between them.

"Okay, Mizuiro might be babyfaced but he turned eighteen last spring and I'll be an adult by the time we turn in all this paperwork in April." Keigo groaned.

"And- and this is clearly Mob Money!" Urahara continued, waving at the briefcase of cash.

"Mister Urahara! I would NEVER-!" Mizuiro gasped with great offense. "I'll have you know all this money came from Perfectly Legitimate Enterprises!" He sniffed, arms crossed and lip pouting.

"That's the name of the Mobile Tech Support business Mizu and I have been running since freshman year!" Keigo beamed. "Makes a good packet, you wouldn't believe the kind of tips the old biddies will give a Nice Young Man in a Smart Uniform who scrapes malware off her online mahjong machine!"

Urahara stared at them blankly, gaze slowly tipping down to the briefcase full of money. "I should learn how to use living world computers."

"NO." Every single person in the building, including the shop kids and Ichigo, who had been passed out under the table after training, but was stirred to consciousness by an impending sense of danger before passing out again.

"Killjoys." Urahra muttered, sulking under his hat.

"Regardless, its a perfectly legal and honestly very generous offer for this heap, and as your financial advisor, I urge you to take it." Don Kanonji glared over his glasses at Urahara.

"So what, you boys get a cut of the candy money and rent? Cause that ain't much of a savvy deal on your end. This place runs at a debt."

"Oh no, you can keep the candy revenue and I'll only ask for enough rent to cover utilities." Mizuiro smiled. "What we want is a cut of your commission as a licensed Gotei-13 outlet contractor!"

"...But I'm not a contractor?" Urahara blinked.

"...Do you just. Not read things before you sign them?" Keigo glared.

"Yeah, you're not just in hock to the NTA, the Soul Revenue Service is after you too for running a fake Gotei-13 service center, and bailing on a century's worth of filings by faking your death." Mizuiro frowned at him with concern. "So e of those papers you signed when you resumed your identity and job as captain- however briefly were the result of Captain Kyoraku cutting you one HELL of a parole deal with the SRS, but the agreement was that Urahara Shoten would be the base of operations for ALL the shinigami operating in Karakura, under the direct supervision and control of the Gotei-13 and he sure wasn't stingy with the budget he gave you! Well. The budget he gave me and Keigo to spend since I'd be the property owner and Keigo would be the business owner."

"Aaaand since you also signed the soul society official secrets agreement, it's not like you can ask someone else to buy you out from the NTA, so not only are we your best offer, we're your ONLY offer!" Keigo grinned.

Urahra stared at them blankly. "You've set me up." He mumbled.

"You sent yourself up for this when you failed to do your due diligence when signing contracts." Don Kanonji corrected him, pulling some documents out of the folder and signing them, before pushing them across the table. "Please actually read these before you si- you've already signed them." Don Kanonji groaned as Urahara slapped the pen back down on the table with spite.

"Fine, fine- I guess I'm back to following orders instead of giving them. What do you want, Boss?" He glared at Keigo.

"Put your feet up and finish putting together that gift list for the baby shower." Keigo nodded. "We weren't kidding that your first priority is getting this place ready for baby... Does it have a name yet?"

"...No." Kisuke wilted despondently. "Yoruichi still isn't answering my texts!"

"Hm." Keigo nodded. "Okay, put your feet up, finish that baby shower list and think of a name for the little rugrat. Just leave the rest to us for now!"

"You guys are good kids." Kisuke smiled weakly.

"Would you be willing to make a sworn statement to that effect, so we can have it on file for any future HR disputes?" Mizuiro smiled.

"Absolutely goddamn not." Kisuke glared.

[0sbrain]

here's a list of mozilla add-ons for all of you tumblrinas out there to have a better internet experience

also, if you like my post, please reblog it. Tumblr hates links but i had to put them so you adhd bitches actually download them <3 i know because i am also adhd bitches

BASIC STUFF:

AdGuard AdBlocker / uBlock Origin : adguard is a basic adblock and with origin you can also block any other element you want. for example i got rid of the shop menu on tumblr

Privacy Badger : this add on will block trackers. if an element contains a tracker it will give you the option to use it or not

Shinigami Eyes: this will highlight transphobic and trans friendly users and sites using different colors by using a moderated database. perfect to avoid terfs on any social media. i will explain how to use this and other add-ons on android as well under the read more cut

THINGS YOU TUMBLINAS WANT:

Xkit: the best tumblr related add on. with many customizable options, xkit not only enhances your experience from a visual standpoint, but provides some much needed accessibility tools

bonus: if you are into tf2 and wanna be a cool cat, you can also get the old version to add cool reblog icons

AO3 enhancer: some basic enhancements including reading time and the ability to block authors and tags

YOUTUBE

Return of the YouTube Dislike : pretty self explanatory

Youtube non-stop: gets rid of the annoying "Video paused. Continue watching?" popup when you have a video in the background

SponsorBlock: gives you options to skip either automatically or manually sponsors, videoclip non music sectors and discloses other type of sponsorships/paid partnerships

Enhancer for YouTube: adds some useful options such as custom play speed, let's you play videos in a window and most important of all, it allows you to make the youtube interface as ugly as your heart desires. I can't show a full image of what it looks like because i've been told its eye strainy and i want this post to be accessible but look at this <3

PocketTube: allows you to organize your subscriptions into groups

YouTube Comment Search: what it says

FINDING STUFF

WayBack Machine: you probably know about this site and definitely should get the add on. this allows you to save pages and access older versions with the click of a button. while you can search wayback using web archives, please get this one as well as it allows you to easily save pages and contribute to the archive.

Web Archives: it allows you to search through multiple archives and search engines including WayBack Machine, Google, Yandex and more.

Search by Image: allows you to reverse image search using multiple search engines (in my experience yandex tends to yield the best results)

Image Search Options: similar to the last one

this next section is pretty niche but... STEAM AND STEAM TRADING

SteamDB: adds some interesting and useful statistics

Augmented Steam: useful info specially for browsing and buying games

TF2 Trade Helper: an absolute godsend, lets you add items in bundles, keeps track of your keys and metal and your recent trades, displays links to the backpack tf page next to users profiles and more. look it tells me how much moneys i have and adds metal to trades without clicking one by one oh may god

IN CONCLUSION: oooooh you want to change to firefox so badly, you want to delete chrome and all the chrome clones that are actually just spyware and use firefox

HOW TO USE MOZILLA ADD-ONS ON YOUR PHONE

if you already use firefox on android, you'll know there are certain add-ons compatible with the app, some of them even being made just for the mobile version such as Video Background Play FIx. while most of them are pretty useful, some more specific ones aren't available on this version of the browser, but there's a way of getting some of them to work

you need to download the firefox nightly app, which is basically the same as the regular firefox browser but with the ability of activating developer mode. you can find how to do that here. once you've enabled it, you need to create a collection with all the add ons you want. i wouldn't recommend adding extensions if the creators haven't talked about phone compatibility, but XKit and Shinigami Eyes should work

also, don't tell the government this secret skater move, but you can try using both the regular firefox browser and nightly so you can have youtube videos in a floating box while you browse social media.

see? i can block this terf while Rick Rolling the people following this tutorial. isn't that tubular?

[recurring-polynya]

Man, I wonder what people in the outer Rukon think about shinigami captains.

Obviously, they are known to some degree in the low-numbered districts. Ganju declares Byakuya to be the "most famous of the 13 captains," suggesting that he has a full set of their trading cards. Jidanbou also recognized Gin on sight, but again, he's sort of like a Gotei 13 hourly contractor.

On the other hand, in Episode 312, the one where Oomaeda lies to some children so they think he's a captain, none of the adults in whatever district he's in call him on his bullshit. Presumably, they aren't even that far out, since he was napping there in the middle of a workday and the children are later able to travel to the Seireitei with little difficulty. Obviously, though, the roster of current captains doesn't seem to be common knowledge*, or even the fact that a captain ought to be wearing a haori and accompanied by an adjutant.

*Insert renji_matsumoto_who_is_your_captain_again dot jpg

Anyway! I don't care about the inner districts, where you can still probably get a copy of the Seireitei Communication and the Hanbantai Players occasionally darken the Bonnaroo lineup.

Rukongai is a big place and contrary to popular opinion, it is not the mandate of the shinigami to protect it. Upwards into the double digits,most people have probably never seen a shinigami, and even if they have, their understanding of what shinigami are capable of ranges from incomplete to wildly inaccurate. Imagine being a kid from District 58 or so who gets saved from being eaten by a Hollow and is thus inspired to shoot your shot at the Academy. At what point does someone reveal that person whose sword made you pass out was no one. That there are tiers of people above them, and at the very top are people who come with their own gravity wells. Some day, "captain" will just mean "weird, very dramatic personage who signs your paycheck and doesn't remember your name", but the first time you see one, and your entire peripheral vision goes black? Whew!

They have to know about shinigami captains out in the deep Rukon, though, because they are the stuff that folk legends are made out of. Some are heroic, some are monstrous, most are both. Occasionally a Rukongai district manages to spit out a captain--do they have any memory of him? Is there a notion of hometown pride, regardless of the fact that no one bears any love for the hometown, certainly not him? Certain names are common among shinigami captains, so it's not always clear which Shihouin-taichou a given tale belongs too, but maybe it's also not important. Captains are long-lived, and it's hard to know if the one from your favorite drinking song kicked the bucket centuries ago, or if she gets a fit of the sneezes every time your pub mates are feeling musical. There are some captains that show up in Rukon-stories whose names don't appear in any sort of official records, and it's a matter of speculation which ones are fully apocryphal and which ones might simply be an epithet and for whom?

(Unohana. They are nearly always about Unohana).

[asaka-lucy-dr-rc]

Happy Birthday, Pixel (@pixelatedraindrops)!!! 🎉🎂💜

Yuma:Cough, cough... hack! Yakou: Yuma, are you alright? Yuma: Y-yes, I’m fi— cough! Yakou: ...Ah, looks like your fever’s spiking. This is probably the peak. It’s tough now, but once your temperature maxes out, you’ll start getting better soon. Yuma: I’m sorry, Chief... I’m causing trouble for everyone... Halara: If you have the energy to apologize, focus on getting better instead. Here, take your medicine on time. Yuma: Thank you, Halara... Fubuki: Yuma, if you’re having trouble sleeping, I can gently pat your chest for you. They say tapping at the same rhythm as the heartbeat has a rest-in-peace effect! Yuma: Thanks, Fubuki... Wait, what did you just sa— cough! Desuhiko: Yuma! If you can’t sleep, I can sing you a lullaby! Yuma: Cough! A lullaby doesn’t need a guitar, Desuhiko... Shinigami: Good grief, how’s anyone supposed to sleep with all this noise?

Vivia doesn’t have any lines in this scene, but he’s somewhere in the picture. Can you find him?

The description of this picture and the message to Pixel are in the collapsed section below:

--- Once again, Happy Birthday, Pixel! 🎉 I’ve been saying for about a year now that I wanted to make a proper sick art painting someday, and I’m happy to say that I finally did. Haha 😄

I had a hard time deciding what to draw. I really liked your idea of tenderness exchanged in a moment of illness, so I considered drawing multiple scenes and combining them like stained glass. But if I did that, I’d probably have to reduce the level of detail in each one to finish it by your birthday. I didn’t want to go with an ordinary composition either, so I ended up with this perspective—looking down at Yuma lying on the sofa. I hadn’t planned it that way at first, but in the end, it kind of feels like looking down into a crib, and I really like that. hehe

The theme for this project was “messy, but still cute.” I had decided from the start that Yuma would be the main focus of this picture, so I paid close attention to making sure his face looked cute. At the same time, I wanted to make him look as messy and pathetic as possible:

It was challenging to paint a pretty face while also making it look disheveled��hot and sweaty, with tears and a runny nose from all the coughing. To be honest, I feel there’s still room for improvement in that regard. So, at some point, I’d like to try drawing it again from a different perspective.

By the way, you may have noticed that I drew the pattern for Yuma's pajamas based on your design!

I liked the pattern of the key that suited him so much that I wanted to draw it someday, and I finally did it this time. I liked the picture linked above, so I matched the temperature displayed on the thermometer to it:

Oh, and I assume Vivia has moved under the sofa in case something happens to Yuma, so he can take care of Yuma quickly. If I hide Desuhiko, this is how he is:

I also hope he is secretly responsible for putting the tissues on the floor in the trash. (But I don't think he would bother to clean up a full trash can, so that would be left until Yakou cleaned it up... 😂) There are many other aspects of your past work that I’ve referred to, but it would be too much to explain them all, so I’ll leave it at that. Finally, I’d like to show you a time-lapse:

(It may look like the colors were applied in an instant, but in reality, 85% of my work time is spent on line drawing, and only 15% is spent on coloring. So if you fast-forward it, it may seem like the coloring was done in an instant. 😅)

I hope you like the picture (and the little details of the characters)! Wishing you a wonderful birthday! 🫶💕💕

[genderqueerdykes]

im completely lost by "shinigami eyes"

what does that even mean??? /genq

hey good question!

it's a browser extension that you can use where it will flag certain websites, blogs, social media accounts, etc. as queer friendly or queerphobic by displaying the text as red or green depending. it doesn't work because it relies on user reports in order for something to appear red or green, which means that people can absolutely abuse it and mass report people just because they don't like them. it's on an honor system, it is not moderated from what i can tell, so everything goes to shit immediately, because the internet is full of trolls and vindictive people

plus, the creator of the extension has gone on to say that they support people who use shinigami eyes to flag transfemasc/transmascfem people, intersex people, AFAB trans women and AMAB trans men as queerphobic/red. like they've flat out stated they WANT people to report any of these individuals as queerphobic. it fucking sucks. i had it installed for a few months last year and it literally just didn't fucking work. my own blog was the only one i could see that was marked with colored text. it was marked green at the time but i'm probably red rn because i'm intersex & transfemasc and the creator & its users hate us.

like i cannot stress hard enough that the extension just did not even fucking work during the time i had it installed. i use firefox, a very common browser, so it was not an issue with my browser itself. i could not find other bloggers on here that had their URLs marked it was just my fucking own and random websites like the Daily Mail which i already know are transphobic as hell. like thanks, great fucking help. why the hell do i even need to see what my own blog is marked as i know my own politics

it's not worth your time. from its inception it's been used to target trans people, not protect us. and again the name just. pisses me off. it's like the whole thing is so unserious i have no idea why it even exists. like the name makes it sound like a fucking joke. is this supposed to be a serious browser extension to help queer people avoid danger, or is it just a funny little game for generating fucking internet drama? even if the intentions were good at the start, it feels like a fucking joke.

[midnight-in-town]

TOP 10 reveals during the Green Witch arc

Since this arc is airing soon, I thought I’d recap what to look forward to, plot wise, since most of these are still very relevant to the current storyline. :)

10) A new ally

Spoilers for anime-onlies, but obviously Sieglinde's introduction is a big deal. Her genius aside, like Soma, Sieglinde is one of the few characters who has only known our!Ciel and who owes him a lot, which explains why she'd remain a friend and ally to him, in the current arc against real!Ciel.

The fact she's a genius is also extremely plot relevant, because Sieglinde's laboratory is funded by Queen Victoria, which means Sieglinde will definitely play a big role in the series until we get to the heart of the Victoria vs Ciel conflict.

9) Diedrich

Long time hinted at, first real time actually seeing him in action and, man, did he serve !

Despite his grief, he's a genuinely caring evil noble, because he promised Vincent, but also, because he simply cares that a kid like Ciel has to shoulder this burden. That's why he immediately chose to side with him, instead of his own army : patriotism, who ? Friendship is the real deal.

He's also one of the few characters who may have known that our!Ciel was lying about his identity, considering he never called him "Ciel", which means that he might remain an ally of our!Ciel in the current conflict between the twins.

8) Finny's backstory

Finny's the first servant to have his backstory revealed, because this arc happens in Germany, but also because Finny has similar circumstances to Sieglinde. Both of them were "experiments" of the German military, Finny with enhanced strength and Sieglinde with intelligence, creating new weapons.

The bond between Finny and Ciel is revealed to be deeper and a more emotional one than we could imagine, as Ciel is Finny's savior and Finny would even stand against Sebastian for his sake.

There is also the possibility that our!Ciel gave Finny his birth name that he discarded 4 years ago, making that bond even more significant if this turns out to be true.

7) All the servants in action

Not seen since the Circus arc, will not be seen again until our!Ciel runs away from Scotland Yard in the current arc (and will probably be seen next time against bizarre doll!Snake T_T).

We had many badass moments, for all of them, showing how much they want to be helpful to their master, which is heartwarming. Bonus point for Dee's remark :

In other words, Tanaka aside, Vincent didn't have a household full of talented fighters.

Finny's backstory and standing against Sebastian also proved that the servants are all definitely devoted to our!Ciel, making them his most secured allies, which will be hella significant (as we now know) when real!Ciel returns (and in case there is one day a conflict between Seb and Ciel).

6) More development for the War subplot

This story has different subplots (the main plot being Ciel's path to revenge) and this one was introduced back during the Murders at Manor arc :

Queen Victoria is said in the story to be a visionary (*cough* thanks to Brown being a supernatural being *cough*), reigning over the most powerful Empire in the world.

Twice now, she sent her Watchdog to thwart Germany's military achievements (when Ciel saved Finny and again during the Green Witch arc), to say nothing of her interest in bizarre dolls as weapons.

German Shinigamis also commented on the possibility of a massive world war being launched soon and it seems clear Victoria is preparing for that.

For now though, our!Ciel positioned himself as a threat, because he managed to convince Sieglinde not to give the Queen the formula for the SuLIN gas, which is what she was mainly coveting.

This means that our!Ciel probably has a huge part to play in avoiding the launch of WWI, 25 years early (could even be why he might be judged worthy, should he...ahem... die).

5) Family tree and special lineage

Ch103 made a lot of noise when it was released, between hints of real!Ciel's existence, the reveal of the birth & death dates of Claudia and Vincent, contrasting with the absence of dates for Cedric K. Ros-, thus the theory that it could be the Undertaker's previous identity.

On top of that, it's also in this chapter that our!Ciel noticed the German Shinigamis, despite them hiding, when Seb couldn't, implying the existence of a Phantomhive lineage very useful against supernatural beings.

In fact, to this day I remain a strong advocate of the theory that the Watchdog's duty is the Phantomhives' burden because of their special lineage.

4) Shinigamis' origins

The GW arc is also when we got the confirmation that Shinigamis were once humans and that other deserters besides UT exist.

The implication that the Shinigami system is an unfair one that deserters like UT might be trying to take down also started with this reveal and could be, as some of us theorized, very significant to the current arc.

3) Our!Ciel's inner guilt

The GW arc was a painful arc for Ciel, because it triggered some traumatic memories that left him lost inside his own head for a few days. A peak into his mind in ch95 showed that our!Ciel feels guilty about many people's death...

...and that it's why he bears with the contract, giving up hope for a happy future, because he's the one who made that choice 4 years ago, for his own sake.

2) The Undertaker's tearful moment

The arc started with our!Ciel trying to find info about UT and questioning Klaus about him. But Klaus turned him down, saying Dee would know more, because he was an evil noble before Klaus was.

So it was quite memorable when it turned out that UT had visited Dee, not long before our!Ciel arrived in Germany. xD

And while we can question what he was doing there before going to France (trying to sell bizarre dolls as weapons to Victoria's enemies ? or recruiting Shinigami deserters from these countries ?), what mostly struck is UT's reaction to seeing a picture of Vincent during his Weston days :

Obviously, this scene was a big hint about real!Ciel being turned into a bizarre doll, but also to the bond existing between UT and Ciel's family (aka the possibility that he's Cedric K. Ros).

This scene also confirmed that, unlike real!Ciel, Vincent can't be brought back as a BD, because his body (which is where the cinematic records remain) is too damaged.

This begs the question : was the fire, which destroyed the manor, started to damage Vincent's cinematic records, 4 years ago ? Not because of the bizarre doll project, because it didn't exist yet, but rather to hide who actually killed him and Rachel ? Food for thoughts.

1) Initial sparks of a possible conflict between Seb and Ciel in the future

A part of the fandom loves to joke about the "90% serious" incident that happened during this arc, but actually, comic relief is often used by Yana to hide a darker truth.

As far as Seb is concerned, him being 90% serious about eating our!Ciel's soul means he was more than ready to end it then.

This proves that Seb doesn't have Ciel's best interests in mind (in case anyone had doubts lmao), he just acts by the 3 rules of their contract, as long as Ciel still has his path of revenge well in mind.

Their dynamic is a chessgame that's been ongoing for the last 4 years and this indeed means that...

...Seb is the one Ciel trusts least of all, because a simple lack of focus can be deadly for him. So there might come a day when our!Ciel questions if the contract is really what he wants, but before that day happens, he will need to deal with all that inner guilt first.

For more details, please read these posts :

Rise of a possible conflict about the contract between Seb and Ciel [part 1] [part 2]

About Ciel’s inner guilt and how it might eventually cause a conflict between him and Seb

Thanks for reading ! Looking forward to more commentaries about this arc by Yana-sensei and Editor K, as the anime airs !

[fangirlingpuggle]

Very very dumb Bleach AU idea where Ichigo(at full power basically soul king level) goes back in time to fix everything ends up way further back like young captain commander time, he's able to fully kill Yhwach and prevent him doing anything at all, no sleep no future quincy war, he also gets involved in making soul society...more so just vetoing anything like central 46 because nothing involving them ended well, and should make things easier and less likely for anyone to manipulate.

He travels around for a bit making sure everything settled and no other persons gonna try to take over the world before not really knowing what to do... when he next checks in on soul society gotei 13's all established and everything seems to be going well, but when he checks in on captain commander he's like 'Well we need someone in charge'

'Isn't that you old man?'

'I can't be fully in charge of all of soul society I run the gotei 13... no we need someone else to run soul society'

'...'

'...no'

Ichigo is now on the run from all the captains who are trying to get him to take over things because a) he's insanely powerful b) he's actually good and not corrupted and will actually care about people and not just the nobles c) He has common sense.

'DON'T YOU HAVE THE SOUL KING FOR THIS?'

'Ichigo I am still convinced you are the soul king'

'I'm not!'

'You haven't aged a single day in the hundreds of years i've known you and you literally bitch slapped Ywatch into oblivion, you also seem to have all the powers..ALL OF THEM'

'...I...I...I mean your wrong... bit I do get it'

And this goes on for centuries Ichigo tying very hard not to have to rule soul society and convince people he isn't the soul king. Only her keeps ending up doing this because he keeps ending up adopting younger versions of captains and others. (It started with the captain commander sending little Jushiro, Kyoraku and a tiny feral Unohana to stop Ichigo he just went big brother mode... he is the one person Unohana will listen to and not try to murder...well when she tries to murder him it's more a game then an actually murder attempt)

Just Ichigo who ends up being big brother to like all of Seireitei, he doesn't age at all but even when the others get older them him still totally see him as their big brother. Him always having at least one or two following him around like ducklings.

Some hollows figuring out how to evolve to arrancar naturally... Ichigo was in Hucheo mundo for a while and his weird reality breaking powers might have affected things. Shinigami are totally chill with them because all of them have seen these types of hollow powers before most grew up seeing Ichigo use them casually. (Also Unohana wants to fight them)

Well until Grimmjow shows up and him and Ichigo are fight flirting just being very weird and all of seretiei are ready to give a shovel talk. Captain meetings are them plotting 'Big brother can do way better'. Captain commander is just watching all this amused.

(None of them realize Grimmjow thought process is

'Wait if I date Kurosaki I get to fight all of them... OI KUROSAKI WE'RE DATING NOW!'

'...WAIT WHAT?')

[impuredeeplove]

The Birth of the Beast. (pt.1)

Pairing: Yandere Ryuk x female reader.

Warnings: body horror, non-consensual pregnancy, murder.

(If I forgot something, let me know)

Summary: You - a young woman - wake up in an abandoned hospital, your belly swollen and pulsing with something inhuman that with every movement steals a little more of your sanity. After escaping from the hospital staff who seemed a little too interested in the thing inside you, a certain shinigami comes to claim paternity of your child.

You wake up - disoriented and confused - in a hospital room covered in spiders, the smell of freshly applied antiseptic did not cover the predominant musty smell, the combination of the two hurts your nostrils and the artificial lights of the cold blue lamps - your only source of light in a windowless room - make your eyes water with burning and sensitivity as you look at the peeling walls of the room.

It was not the sudden pain in your skull that put you on alert nor was it the fear of waking up in a supposedly abandoned hospital room, it was the great change in your center of gravity that chilled you to the bone. With trembling hands, you dare to touch the large and full curve of your stomach that seemed about to explode with the disturbingly stretched skin.

the thin hospital gown didn't do much to hide the supernatural appearance of swelling, it did even less to ease the sensation of burning cold and scorching heat that came from your belly, an unexpected movement that came from inside you was enough for the agony to explode through your senses, the thing - it couldn't be human, it was impossible to be human - inside you seemed to be tearing you apart from the inside with every movement, with every bastard attempt to imitate a movement similar to that of a baby.

At the moment the only thing clear in your mind is the primal fear that paralyzes you at the thought of this parasite that was struggling, not like a baby, but like a creature formed with sharp claws and teeth that scratch and tear your insides as if to ensure its own survival it was necessary to devour yours.

Your mind damaged by the agony goes in and out of consciousness, before everything goes dark, you hear hurried footsteps in the hallway - voices of perhaps doctors and nurses whispering - the shrill sounds of medical equipment beeping so loudly that your skull feels as if it is going to split in half.

The next time you regain consciousness you are fully strapped down and restrained on a stretcher, still disoriented you look up and the sight that greets you fills you with dread and lucidity in seconds - there are doctors all around you, doctors with crazy eyes holding scalpels and knives ready to disembowel you like you were a frog stuck with needles in a biology class. Your screams and shaking did nothing to ward off the madmen around you, death seemed inevitable until a grotesque sound came from the mouth of the doctor closest to you as he clutched his chest and fell, for a second there is silence before chaos reigns and like flies every man and woman in the room drops as if some god has personally ripped their souls from the prisons of flesh they inhabit.

As if by magic, the ropes that held you came loose - but as if they had been torn off, leaving you free, with your mind full of adrenaline and fear. You didn't stop to think about what had happened and quickly - as fast as a pregnant woman could - you dragged yourself out of bed.

As you got off the stretcher, stains of a viscous, dark liquid - not like blood, but like tar - ran down your legs, leaving a trail across the hospital floor. The agony of climbing the stairs made you sob, finally finding a door and discovering where you had escaped from: you had fled from a room in the basement of an abandoned hospital, you were in an abandoned hospital.

Or supposedly not so abandoned, if the footsteps and screams coming from the same direction you had just left were any indication.

Your belly distorted in a non-human way, alternating between sharp protrusions and soft contortions, as if the creature inside you was alternating shapes, choosing which would be the most suitable to be born, regardless of the shape you can feel teeth nibbling on your insides in a disturbing attempt to suckle

as if by a miracle or divine protection you manage to avoid your pursuers and hide in some room on the 3rd floor after dragging yourself up the stairs, not that you needed to hide anymore because from afar you could hear your pursuers choking before their bodies fell after a presumed heart attack, the back of your mind whispers information about a killer named Kira, but your survival instincts push this vague information back to the back of your mind

after confirming yourself alone you gather the courage to drag yourself back to the ground floor towards the exit in search of your home, the path through the streets of Tokyo is disturbingly deserted and without a living soul for the capital that is so alive even at night, mercifully there are no witnesses on the street to witness your state of frenzy and debauchery

cutting the path and avoiding the main streets you walk through empty alleys you drag yourself towards the building where you live, climbing the stairs in a weak imitation of the crawling of a worm you reach the door of your apartment, everything seems the same as if you had left a little later than the usual time for work

but nothing made sense because you had not left for long, a few days, and you returned with an empty mind and a disturbingly pregnant belly despite your virginity, driven by the desire for a little order you crawl to the bathroom and when you take off your hospital gown and dare to look in the mirror the sight that stares back at you in the mirror is worthy of a Hollywood production of a horror film.

[funishment-time]

all Rain Code promo stuff says that the sexy anime babe body is Shinigami's ""true form"" but like in our hearts we all know that's not true right. like she is not a sexy anime babe. she is a full-time Fucking Thing that happens to turn into a sexy anime babe on the weekends. she is a VTuber