#bc to be honest nobody gives a shit about abuse victims!

[thornsent]

the tags on that post make me feel like I'm living in a different world. "the queer community helped me sooooo much when I was homeless" yeah my local queer community attempted to coerce me into signing contracts and tried to evict me from a room I was renting under the table and told my abuser I was trying to leave and laughed at me for begging for help and I could literally go on for a long, long time but I'll stop there.

I have never really felt accepted or comfortable in my own community. I don't fit in with gay men because I'm trans and thus not man enough. I don't fit in with trans men because I'm effeminate and don't really identify as a trans man anyway. I'm too masculine to be around queer women, who I make uncomfortable by virtue of existing. I don't trust other queers, because especially where I live, they use the same knives to cut bread for you as they do to slit your throat.

They pretend to be so friendly, so inclusive, so nice and Good Progressives. They send the right memes to the group chat, they post on social media all about how much of an activist they are, but when it comes to real life people who are messy and struggling? They politely pretend to look the other way, because they don't want to actually have to *do* anything. They'll performatively boost donations posts by trans poc but don't actually have any friends that aren't white!! It's all so two-faced and fake.

[lovemyromance]

Sometimes I genuinely question the sanity of this fandom. Like I think some people have gone so extreme in one direction ... they've landed right in the same spot again, if that makes sense.

I'm sure regardless of who your favorite character is - we all read these same books so we all love a strong, powerful FMC. We love the chosen one long lost princess who kicks ass, has a bit of a mouth on her, and goes toe to toe with some "my job is sword" Ken.

We love it. Eat that shit up.

But I think the frequency - and bear with me bc imma make this word up - and tropefication of this romantasy genre has really made people lose their grounding, forget our roots and common sense, so to speak.

For example, let's take the enemies to lovers trope. Of course there's something so hot and exciting about two enemies who hate each other but fall in love. I love it. That's arguably my favorite.

But I think people are forgetting that despite the over saturation of this trope in the current market - It doesn't make any "non" enemies to lovers books any less romantic, any less exciting. Love is expressed and can be written in many different ways. Love can and will be written in the way that is most honest to people, and that extends to even fictional characters.

People are just so caught up in what has become the new norm that they are forgetting everything about real life, real people. They've adapted a "if it's not like this - I don't want it" attitude that might be doing more harm than good.

And I say that because I just witnessed all the drama that was Elain week when people were defending fictional abusers with their entire lives instead of just respecting a boundary set by a real person to respect others.

And I say that because I still see the stupid "pliable bones arguement"

And I say that because I mentioned once that I'd rather wait for Gwyn to show interest in someone romantically before claiming all these theories about her since she has very recent SA trauma - and then instead of people saying that makes sense, I had all these people saying I was anti-feminist and disrespectful to SA victims.

In what world is giving someone the time and space they need to recover from SA suddenly a bad thing? It doesn't even have to do with ships - it has to do with a character clearly being not ready to go out into the real world at the end of the book and deciding that maybe she needs more time to heal. Nobody's out here saying SA victims in general can never be in romantic relationships - all I've said is that specific character does not seem ready. When she shows interest in someone, I will take it as she is ready. I personally do not feel comfortable shipping someone with such recent trauma with someone-especially someone who is supposed to be her trainer and someone safe - unless they show me something that signifies actual interest.

And I understand the whole "empowering women" argument. But I want to ask - is that what we're doing?

Are you really empowering women? Or are you being disrespectful and a faux-activist under the guise of "women's empowerment?"

I don't care that these are fictional characters. The minute people start disrespecting real people over these fictional characters means that these characters mean more to those folks than actual people. And therein lies the problem.

These are real people that are getting called such ugly, rude names. And for what? To defend someone's "rights" to draw pictures of abusers? To defend someone's womanhood by disregarding her SA trauma?

It's tasteless. It's not just "fandom behavior". Fandom is not some lawless land where you can be a heinous human being and interact with real people disrespectfully. I've never seen it this bad and I'm genuinely shocked at what it's become.

[zukka-pegged-by-suki]

ok so guys, remember that “my father always says azula was born lucky, i was lucky to be born” line? yeah, now explain to me why tf are we even considering OZAIs words?!?! like some people use this line as an argument against azula when its literally what OZAI SAID?!?!!?!!?!

Zuko’s good and bad luck, as well as Azulas. Was either of them lucky? Let’s see.

Please read all of it before drawing assumptions.

Zuko’s luck:

- has mums care and affection

- has irohs care and affection

- can get away with being a softie as a child, because he may get disregarded and called weak but lets be honest, azula wouldnt have been able to get away with his behavior because she didn’t have firstborn privilege (which is a thing while azulon lived) or mummy’s protection like he did.

before anyone comes at me i’ll expand a bit on the firstborn privilege. as first born he was instantly considered more important by the masses since birth, that might’ve changed later but before neither could bend that much was still a fact. which means azula wouldn’t really have any recognition for anything unless she surpassed him in every way, which is what became her goal especially when ozai became the one who spent more time with her rather than ursa, anyways lets continue.

- constantly receiving second chances; iroh, the gaang minus katara, katara, azula (even if not from the “good” side), ozai (no matter the intentions, this much is true), iroh again, mai, the entire fckng world.

- he had a guide and help throughout his long healing and learning process.

Zuko’s bad luck:

- Unloving father

- Mummy disappears

- Doesn’t train that hard and surprise surprise, is worse than azula. Because if he had really trained hard, he would’ve at least known the formations wether he was able to firebend with them or not, but he was just clearly trying to copycat azula while tripping over because he didn’t have that much experience doing it. This is something no one can change my mind about. How tf did he expect to excel if he didn’t train enough. This wasnt about luck but hard work which he didn’t put in, too busy playing with mum and the little turtleducks. And I do not hate Zuko, I really love him but this is just a fact and he’s too fixed on blaming everyone else for his own mistakes and problems (esp Azula). Like, im sorry to break it out to you honey, but Ozai hates you because he’s an asshole, and that’s his own fault, not Azula’s.

- Scar and exile time, we all know this.

- Ugly haircut because of dishonor

- Finally achieving his goal of regaining his “honor” but realizing it wasn’t what he wanted only when he was already at the Fire Nation palace having all the glory from Aang’s presumed death.

- Katara’s distrust after his betrayal (bc who would’ve expected that to happen /s)

- Getting zapped in an attempt to save Katara.

I mean except for the things related to Ozai, most of this was all consequences from his own actions.

And I’m sorry but I don’t understand the fixation he has with having Ozai’s love. Unlike Azula, he has had his mother’s love and his uncle’s love. He knows what real love looks like and he has never really seen anything that could imply Ozai likes him, while he has Iroh treating him like he’s his actual father.

I’m not invalidating his traumas in any way and terrible things did happen to him, but why is he so obsessed with Ozai and why would he choose him over Iroh, he’s 16 and has been with Iroh since age 13, he was also with Ursa for the majority of his childhood, make it make sense.

Azula’s luck:

- Uh she was born rlly smart i guess

- She had some natural talent and knew to train hard to shape it to perfection, as well as studying a lot about war tactics and shit ig

- Ty Lee and Mai loved her and she loved them back

I mean as far as luck goes, that’s it. Everything else was achieved on her own merit and even if she had no scar, her traumas are just as valid as Zuko’s, neither is worse or better, we do not compare traumas in this house and they were both terrible.

Azula’s bad luck:

- Bad mother (i’ll make a post on why Ursa sucks)

- No second chances

- Mum never said goodbye just like she never said “i love you” lol, except in that one hallucination

- Never has had any real help to heal (i’ll make a post on why the asylum was a trash idea that would’ve never worked)

- Can’t fully trust anyone, not even herself, or will be punished for it

- The only people who loved her, Mai and Ty Lee, “betraying” her (check out my post on that, its under #jinta’s commentary)

- Ozai psychologically abusing her all her life

- Some characters may have been lonely, but she was genuinely absolutely alone. And she knew it.

- Hurt and self-hatred channeled through anger like Zuko did sometimes when he had that shame shave ponytail, but with her, its all the time.

- Even his abuser abandons her

- Everyone hates her but forgives Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee. And it’s so annoying because all Mailee did that Azula didn’t was swap sides almost at the end, if the excuse is that they were being manipulated well Ozai was manipulating Azula so what’s the excuse.

- Is always believed to be lying but usually isn’t (check out my azula always lies post)

- Has a mental breakdown and nobody gives a shit?! Like the first think Zuko thought of was “ooh she’s slipping lemme take advantage of that”

- Has nothing and no one, yay

- Gets thrown into a stupid asylum but not rlly because there are no comics in ba sing se

While Zuko had Ursa and Iroh to protect him and stuff, she was victim of Ozai’s manipulation and psychological abuse all her life.

So when we know Ozai said she was lucky, why tf is anyone taking his word for it??!

Plus when Zuko was born they didn’t know how he would be and Azula didn’t exist so there was no way he could’ve been lucky to be born.

Zuko was very unlucky, but he was also lucky.

Azula was just unlucky.

edit: as bellatrixobsessed1 said, azula had the illusion of luck.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm surprised people see Tadashi as the victim in his relationship with Ainosuke, when it's Tadashi the one who time and time again takes away Ainosuke's agency, without being able to see that he is throwing him unto unhappiness. I can't help but think that if Tadashi was not working at Shindo's house, Ainosuke would have maybe left or broke with the family. But he can't do that if he wants the relationship with Tadashi going on, seing how Tadashi is set on enforcing the family rules...

Hmm.. I def agree with the fact that Tadashi is not what most fandom makes out of him, my man (I mean, Adam’s man) is a 100% Slytherin. But I disagree with blaming him for this, after all the revealed info. The environment they were both raised in made their situation complicated.

I like Tadashi a lot, he’s probably my fav thing about this anime, bc he’s a dark horse, and I’m once again surprised, that so little ppl see him for who he really is, portraying him as an innocent puppy, which he is definitely not.

Now to why I think both Tadashi and Adam are victims of the dad and aunties in this situation. 

We can of course say “if only they told each other how they really feel...”, but like we can say it about any love story really. Every author knows it’s no fun. The truth is that yes, they both hurt each other, and yes, if they were honest about their feelings things would’ve been different, but as I’ve already wrote under that “toxic” commentary on YT, lets look at the whole situation from both of their point of views:

We know that Adam when he was little always treated Tadashi as an equal, he never ever thought of him as someone lower than him and after their fall out, the only reason for this “harsh” treatment (well, besides their confirmed kink) was that Adam tried to get a reaction out of him, so Tadashi would stand up for himself, bc Ainosuke got mad about Tadashi caving to his dad’s wishes and abandoning him, when he needed him the most. 

But now, knowing the fact that Tadashi was his dad’s secretary and was under his control, let’s see it from his perspective: Tadashi wanted to stay by Adam’s side, Adam’s dad implied that if Tadashi did say smth, he’s gonna be.. well, dismissed and they won’t see each other ever again. That’s what caused Tadashi to stay silent in that moment. Ainosuke instead saw this as a “he’s not on my side” thing, well, because. Tadashi won’t tell him his problem, bc dad and aunties control everything, so even if he does tell him, what a teen would do really? He didn’t have any powers back then to make his dad do anything. 

And that’s when it all gone to shit, since they both were hurt for their own reasons. It’s easy to say leave the family, but 1stly nobody explained to Adam still that he’s physically and psychologically abused by his family, he sees it as them “loving him” and sadly also loves them, bc nobody told him, that love wasn’t supposed to be like that really. He definitely feels that smth is not right and feels emotionally exhausted there bc of this treatment, but did he ever consider leaving? I really don’t think so. He feels obligated to be worthy of a family, who “loves” him.

Do you think, for example, that Akashi Seijuro hates his dad for what he did to him? No. Does he understand that he wasn’t at fault for what happened to him and that his dad instead of comforting his child after his mother’s death, who was his only safe haven, made everything worse? I don’t think he does. Like his mom gave him basketball, an escape from all that family’s obligations and strictness. After her death, it was the only thing left that brought him joy, but his dad ruined even that, saying that if he’s gonna be bad at it/lose, he’d take it away from him too. Does Akashi see this as emotional abuse? No, he sees it like “well, I have to be the best bc I was born in such powerful family, so if my dad says that I must be best at everything, then I must.”

I personally hate such parents a lot. To me it doesn’t matter if Adam’s dad didn’t know about aunties hitting his child. Like if he was too busy to notice this and have no time for his kid and made his childhood miserable, it doesn’t make it any better really. 

Same as with Akashi’s dad. Some are like “he was probably also grieving about his wife”. Emm? He was like this from the beginning, bc he treated Akashi not as his son, but as his heir. And yes, that’s different things. Same with Endeavor and Todoroki. Your child is not your post production thing.

2ndly they were too young, even if they knew about each others feelings and he didn’t feel obligated and told everyone to fuck off, they’d be on the streets now, but also Adam’s dad doesn’t seem like a guy who’d leave them alone really. Also eloping seems very romantic, but I don’t think it is, esp when you’re teens. Did you want him to sell some expensive watch and go live on Hawaii or smth? Bc finding a decent job there would be difficult at this age, esp with everyone knowing who your dad is. Chen Ke from “Antidote” survived bc he was 27 and had connections and some great friends. Adam was in high school, where would he go exactly?

Now let’s go back to now. Obviously all this time it didn’t even cross Tadashi’s mind that for Ainosuke he comes first and that he would throw everyone under the bus to make Tadashi stay with him. As we see at the end, he legit believed that Adam was planning to send him to jail and didn’t get that he said it just to shaken he up and that he knew who he’d set up for this from the beginning. 

To Adam obviously it doesn’t matter whether they’re in a quarrel or not, he would never him go. Yes, he’s mad at him, he’s angry and hurt, but Tadashi’s still the person he needs the most, he’s still the person who brightens his days, even tho he deliberately behaves like he annoys him. He always looks at him and looks at him and looks at him, but then hisses smth to hurt him. Bc he knows that he needs him, but he also hates that he needs him, bc he thinks it’s unrequited.

And that’s how their classic romance goes in hellish circles. No one wants to talk as usual. Adam is mad Tadashi is like that bc his dad turned him into a slave with no opinion, while Tadashi is scared that Adam would be taken away from him bc of his ugly family. 

Now I still think that no one and I mean no one can take Tadashi from Adam now, he is his precious. So my plan is... if Tadashi made aunties do smth against him or to get rid of him, aunties will go for sure. The problem is Tadashi still doesn’t get that he comes first, so we’re stuck in this hell still.

So anyways, my point is Adam’s heart basically sings “you got a hold of me, don’t even know your power” to Tadashi, but he doesn’t hear it, bc of his insecurities, the way he was raised and his status. But yes, he holds all the power. He’s both Adam’s sanity and insanity. No matter how cheesy it sounds he was basically his only ray of sunshine in the darkness, if you take it away, that’s what it leads to, that’s why Ainosuke-sama needs more ppl who care for him. I don’t want anyone to die next time, just cause Tadashi and Adam fought about where to put their new couch lmao. I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. And kill the aunties, pls seriously, we need to be free.

Also ppl need to remember that like lots of animes/characters are parcially inspired by some other animes/characters, also the chosen seiyuus are also very important, there are lots of stuff like jokes and references, that creators use, from characters being fully inspired by smth like “Assassination classroom” characters based on KNB, to little stuff like Levi dressed in Akashi’s uniform in chibi AOT bc Hiroshi Kamiya. Utsumi already said before stuff like she sometimes think of a perfect voice for the character and then fully forms him, we also know her clear love for sports animes. So yes, I doubt Tadashi/Kuroko thing is a coincidence and even tho someone was like “zone? is this knb or smth?” I was like no, zone is actually a common thing in sports, even tho most associate it with KNB including me, it’s not like its their invention, but there were things inspired by this for sure, and from other sports animes too and no, I don’t mean the basic sports anime tropes, I mean, like way too specific things, some character designes, too. And yes, Langa appearence and personality wise is a rinharu child for real, I can literally split his scenes in “that’s Haru”, “that’s Rin”.

That’s why I’ve said that this situation in fandom reminds me of Kuroko/Akashi situation a lot, bc same as here in KNB ppl for some reason automatically thought that Kuroko is this innocent sheep and Akashi is the wolf (but also like it was Akashi who chose to dress as red riding hood, while Kuroko was a wolf lmao), not even seeing who is in reality more dangerous and who can easily control who. It just buffles me bc it’s not some deep analisys really. I mean once again there’s a reason for the saying that the sub holds all the power over the dom. 

And like just bc someone yells or threatens ppl constantly doesn’t necessarily mean he is a psycopatic killer, and just bc someone is quiet and doe-eyed, doesn’t mean he isn’t. I didn’t think we needed to explain this to someone, but aparently we do?

And it honestly kills me just how superficially ppl are watching things these days. It really gives me war flashbacks to stuff like the last mdzs s1 episode, where ppl started to comment things like “how LZ can be so heartless” lmao. Or that anonymous ask “do you think haru misses rin?”. Like you don’t see thing at all? Grey substance no needed, while watching things?

P.S. I also would die to see Adam vs Tadashi race just bc I for some reason can bet all my money, that it’s the same situation as with Akashi refusing to ankle break Kuroko, no matter how mad he is. I just can’t imagine Ainosuke hitting Tadashi in the face with a board. Like 100% sure he wouldn’t even try tbh.

[ultimaterealmofchaos]

what are your honest thought about your muse’s canon? [all your dr canons :3 ]

the source!! (accepting!!)

all of my dr canons???? holy shit here we go

starting with our favorite ultimate musician ibuki: first off???? we all know how i feel about ibuki. she’s my absolute favorite sdr2 character, and i’m about 99.9% sure she’s my favorite danganronpa character overall. but of course, i have a few criticisms. not about her specifically, i don’t think, i think she’s fine, but like... how the game handled her??? okay so i’ve seen a lot of criticism online about her (and this is probably my own fault for going to the danganronpa subreddit), saying that she’s annoying, she adds nothing to the story, there’s no reason for her existence, etc. and honestly that isn’t a problem that’s specific to ibuki. it’s made pretty clear if you really look at it that she only exists to end up dead, which i think is a real problem with the writing of the series overall. and since all my muses end up dead in some form here, that’s a common criticism that i’m going to point out right here right now and never again in this post. but ibuki herself suffers from that she’s incredibly surface-level with only a deeper side underneath if you choose to pursue it. and like. obviously i’m not asking for her to be the deepest character in the lore, that’s not what she is, and obviously she’s... not written to be the smartest character at all, but i wish they had done her a little differently, and not hidden all her insightfulness in free time events. because. she’s smart. she doesn’t see herself as smart, but she is. and i wish they’d shown that more. and honestly??? you are telling me that she is the ultimate musician, yet nobody in her class likes her music?! that many people in there and not a single soul actually likes it??? chunsoft you’re fuckin’ playing with me here and i don’t like it. come on. make up your damn minds. ffs.

also why’d she have to die that’s some bullshit. she was cool af and i’m still salt about it. 

this is going to get long and ridiculous bc i have so many of them so i’m hiding the rest under a cut.

next up is sakura!!! i actually think sakura was done quite well, honestly. granted, it was the first game, so i don’t think any of us saw the twist with her coming, but it was done really well! and her eventual death definitely suited her character. i never thought she’d be one to kill anyone, and i was glad that i was proven right, even though i was really upset with her death (just like i was with just about every other one lmao). from a meta standpoint, i really like how they took the tough-girl-who-even-looks-”manly” thing and sorta turned it on its head a bit (like, i’m not going to lie, i legit thought she was a guy at first who just happened to be wearing a girl’s school uniform and i think just about everyone does). her relationship with hina that built over the course of the game was something that was needed for her, imo, as it helps us as players sort of humanize her a bit and not just see her as this massive devastating block of muscle. i like how they managed to portray that even if she’s stoic as fuck on the outside, she really cares about everyone in her class, and that’s just shown by her death itself. they even managed to convey a sort of degree of softness with her, as shown by her relationship with hina and how hina was just about the only one that wasn’t initially scared shitless of her. idk man dr1 really did its characterization really well for danganronpa and they never really got that right again, did they? it’s a shame, really.

next up is our favorite bitch. junko enoshima. dear. god. i love her so much, and i love to hate her so much. the way she acts, the way she uses mukuro for her own gain, the way she switches personalities on the drop of a hat, the way she pretty much thought all this shit up on her own (with mukuro as well i’m assuming but let’s be real here it was honestly all her)... she’s a fucking unapologetic bastard and we love her for it. honestly i always look forward to playing a danganronpa game i haven’t already played because i’m dying to see how they’re shoehorning her in. because. it’s not dr without her. i’m sorry. it’s just not. sometimes villains are villains just because. they don’t have to have a deep backstory as to why they’re the way they are, and junko is a wonderful example of that. i love her. i’m biased. i love her sm.

next is miu. oh, dear, sweet miu. she’s the fanservicey character who makes things sometimes. that’s it. there’s one of these in every game. and you know what? having a fanservicey character is fine. to me, anyway. you do you, guys. but honestly i find miu kind of insulting in a way. no, not because she’s vulgar as fuck; guys, i am vulgar as fuck, especially after having a couple drinks, okay, i can sympathize in a way with her. no, what i’m insulted by is that they had the audacity to make her the ultimate inventor, and then fuckin’ reduce her to swearing, sex jokes, and vulgarity. like. inventors are smart as fuck. ya kinda need to be in order to invent things, right? especially doing it as consistently as she does. i mean, fuck, she provided whole things for the plot, for fuck’s sake. and they still reduce her to a dumb blonde who’s obsessed with kiibo and sexual innuendos. come on. do better. let’s go. she can still keep her vulgar tendencies, just.... god, i don’t even know how to fix her, but i hate her characterization even though overall i still like her quite a lot. learn to write women, you fucks; how did you get it more right in dr1 than in v3. and we’re not gonna even talk about the canonical ending because i see that differently than most people and it has nothing to do with what i’m talking about, which is what we see in 95% of the game. 

next: our favorite bug boy gonta. it should be no secret that i love gonta. i love him. so much. the only character that is second to my love for gonta is korekiyo. i love korekiyo so much too. but this isn’t about him. it’s about gonta. again, we are bending the trope of big-character-is-terrifying and i really appreciate that in gonta’s case. like with sakura. ahaha. what can i say, i’m really weak for that sort of thing, i guess. but he suffers from the same shallowness that miu and even ibuki does. they tried to give him some more depth, but i don’t think it really worked. and like. come on. a guy who was raised by wolves for years and doesn’t really know how to interact with people now being in a killing game with a bunch of them???? shit, there’s so much you can do with that!! but no. we didn’t go there. much like we didn’t go there for everyone who wasn’t shuichi, kaito, maki, or kokichi. (ok shuichi gets a pass but you know.) idk man it’s probably because i didn’t do everyone’s free time events because there’s literally no way to do so, but i’m kind of salty about how v3 just treated its characters. all of them have potential. it just wasn’t reached. at all. unless it was the main four. they all deserve better. 

lastly, we have mikan. and boy. do i have a lot to say about mikan. so, going into this, i want to say that i am an abuse victim. there, it’s out in the open. so, knowing that... some stuff about her makes sense. especially when you consider that she, too, is an abuse victim. and others. just. do not. she deserved better. she deserved so much better. and what made me the most incensed about this is her goddamn anniversary outfit. they only saw and used mikan as fanservice. why would you use an abuse victim as fucking fanservice i’m gonna fuckin’ riot. like. she’s traumatized as fuck. her despair disease shit makes a lot of sense, don’t get me wrong. it’s suitable for her that things happened the way they did with that. but for fuck’s sake. “oh haha look at that mikan fell again, face down ass up that’s the way she likes to--” stop. she deserves better. i’m mad about it. it’s not funny. stop doing mikan so fuckin’ dirty, you assholes. i’m taking her and i’m making her better. so fuck you.

anyway that’s it :3 i’m sorry this turned out to be so long aslkdjfal. i hope i answered the question sufficiently enough :333

[merrilldidnothingwrong]

ok. so. the number one anti anders argument i hear from da2 is “i hate the way he treats fenris and merrill” and from a human / elf standpoint, thats completely valid.

however, when it comes to him and fenris in their banter, and how they trigger each other, it is a very different situation.

putting behind cut bc it gets lengthy, and mentions of abuse, slavery, gaslighting, ptsd

they are both escaped survivors of abuse and slavery, both on the run, on different “sides”, both trying to convince each other that they are right and the other side is wrong. and their side has had it worse. i dont know if this is a common thing, but i know for myself, i have been there. i’ve had “friends” that have constantly invalidated me and almost asked me to “prove” that my abuse was real, constantly gaslighting me to the point where I got angry and turning on them.

fenris and anders alone are not bad people. they are both fighting by hawkes side for 7 years in kirkwall, trying to help in this shithole town because people are suffering. the poor are suffering, anders runs a free clinic to heal the poor people, and fenris is always willing to go after the (endless) number of slavers trying to take people away to work them to death. they just simply do not get along in certain situations.

if you take them together during a quest where youre forced to make a decision templars or mages, they will both have their opinions, and talk about it to hawke, and bicker at each other. which, given their nature as people, and their background, is so normal. yes you will win or lose approval as hawke, but as far as their banter, you cannot intervene. which, does kind of suck, but you know what? hawke is not their parent. fenris and anders are grown ass men. they can fight each other, and they still work together. neither one of them threatens to leave hawke, neither one of them *actually* fights each other. they dont try to kill each other. they just fight with words. (which yes, as someone whose suffered emotional abuse, i know how much words hurt). but both of them say exactly what is on their mind. they dont let anything fester.

both of them take things too far. anders says god awful racist things. fenris says anders former lover deserved to die. (not to say that they are the same at all, just that these are the worst things that come to mind). as i said, they are both victims of abuse, they both suffer ptsd. not excuses.(i dont think kirkwall really knows about ptsd) they are caught up in the moment. they are triggered by what is happening with hawke, with the other, what is being said and done, and they feel like they’ve lost control in that moment. plus, neither one gives a royal shit about each other. anders, to fenris is just another mage. fenris, to anders is a templar apologist. all they have in common is hawke and a common goal to help kirkwall.

i’ve seen some pretty nasty fenris hate, but a lot of anders hate comes down to old fashioned ableism. he “whines” too much. he talks too much about his trauma. talk about a privileged position. i guess if youve never been traumatized, it would be “annoying”. or maybe you have, or you had a good support system. you had a good therapist or friends / family. lots of people have not. anders had nobody, except maybe karl, who was immediately killed. anders had the warden, who we don’t really know where they are. and justice. who we know is a part of anders, but they dont really ‘talk’, they more feel each other.

fenris is open and honest about his trauma, and is pretty good with it. (i think). he sits down and has a conversation about it over a bottle of wine. anders talks about it here and there. he is open about it, but hes full of anger, rightfully so. hes not angry at hawke, in fact hes very appreciative for hawke. and if youre blue/purple he shows affection and appreciation for it. (both anders and fenris get hostile at a hawke that is rivaling them, thankfully).

point is, survivors are allowed to be angry. survivors are allowed to talk about their trauma. hawke is their friend, other companions are their friend too. if other companions can randomly talk about their lives, their sex lives and random shit, it should be assumed that heavy topics are okay.

at any rate, yes, as a human, anders is an asshole. (not for the chantry explosion, that was completely necessary) but, his trauma is completely valid. and im sick and fucking tired of that being erased. people in this fandom have sympathy for cullen??? but not anders??? cullen made a CHOICE to be a templar. anders did no such thing.

people always want fenris and anders to be friends, but honestly, within da2, i dont see that happening. maybe, years after. not necessarily when the mage vs templar shit is over, because that never really ends, but when they get some time alone, to think things over. to REALLY get to heal. to get some self love, reflection, everything they need. then they can meet on equal ground.

forewarning - this is not an invite for anti anders people to chime in with their hatred of him. i love anders. i understand him in ways i cant quite write yet.