#bc this was Not a plan and we didn't have like half the things we'd need for this

[bagels-gate]

OKAY SO, the silliest most unserious thing—me and my younger sister (she's 15) were making post Halloween fun cupcakes bc on Halloween we were too busy and tired—and as a joke we started making an Astarion cupcake... and ended up making the Whole Gang plus my Tav, my partner's Tav, which they've made out of the mini cupcakes bc we ran out (who are also together— Sylvas and Skaia, ladies and gents)

SO, BEHOLD BALDUR GAY 3 GANG:

Skaia and Sylvas for reference:

Enjoy ✨

[oh-no-its-bird]

hi listen i just had a divine intervention or smth lmk if you don't like it but

what if your team Ro time travel au + my time travel Tobirama

Team Ro would have memories of the canon and they got to this different timeline and there's Tobirama actively trying to seduce Uchiha fucking Madara. They didn't teach THAT in the Academy

They got in the time when Tobirama still orchestrated meetings, but Butsuma is already dead so if everything goes well, Tobirama would get Madara and peace soon.

And then there suddenly spawn a Hatake with a sharingan with 2 Uchiha kids and a Mokuton user. Political nightmare.

Later Tobirama recognises Kakashi and was like "The fuck? It's that Hatake from the war. What is he doing there, he should not have been born yet!!"

OHHH THATS SO GOOD THO???

I'm gonna be real I love the concept of "team ro time travel au but they time travel into someone else's time travel au," that's so good

If we go with your au, there's a really interesting immediate aspect of like: hey ! Tobirama might recognize Kakashi or maybe even Tenzo from the war, but these guys are way fucking younger than when they met !!!

Idk what exactly can be done with that but it's interesting to consider. Also Tobirama talked ab Itachi and his crimes before I'm p sure? So like he knows what happens to the Uchiha and that it was Itachi who did it for the village. I wanna see him faced w the kid who he once praised for slaughtering his own clan to prove his loyalty.

I wanna see him feel the consequences of the stress Itachi is under when he (and possibly Shisui) attempt to kill Madara.

Stop interfering with his fix it fic you brats!! He's already got it covered!! You're just causing a mess!!!!

They get zapped in, like, in the middle of Tobirama's happy ending epilogue too. Tobirama is peacefully eating dinner in his house w his new husband Madara thinking "well. Alls well that ends well." Then BOOM Kakashi Shisui Itachi and Tenzo crash out of fucking nowhere directly onto their table, getting covered in food and breaking the table in half

Immediatley arrested !! I feel like Tobirama would instantly understand what happened by recognizing their uniforms + potentially Kakashi + he's already a time traveler himself so it's really no stretch for him to go "oh fuck I didn't think we'd get a double jepordy in this bitch but I guess not"

But like it's not like he can just SAY that ? Or he could but it would bring a lot of questions he probably does not want to answer.

Now another problem arises in like. I don't think Tobirama is especially attached to any of these guys. I can see him maybe having a lingering "pay it forward ig" feeling just bc they're "loyal konoha soldiers" and it'd be a waste to let that resource just burn. But also like. Under no circumstances can Tobirama have these guys share certain aspects of future knowledge.

Tobirama worked so hard to get here !!!! Literal years of planning !!!! He got his happy ending and it very much rests on Madara staying safe and sane and NO ONE IMPLYING HE WILL BETRAY KONOHA EVER !!!!! Tobirama does not even wanna RISK that becoming a rumor, he will take no chances.

Anyways I think his best course of action would be to reveal himself as a time traveler specifically to team ro, then position himself as their hokage who they should remain loyal to, say that it is for Konoha's best interests that they do not reveal certain things, and play it by ear from there.

Tobirama deciding he can't risk team ro going forward in time again and potentially fucking up the time stream or smthn. They need to stay here. He can not risk losing this shit. Sorry guys it looks like your trapped here <3

Anyways team ro being scary loyal to him bc he is the closest approximation to their (current?) Hokage and only person w the knowledge to enforce that power over them (at this time)

In my original post, like, all of team ro are already established to be kind of at their worst and most loyal to the village at that point to. They are at THE age(s) to be manipulated like that tbh, rip

It's not too bad tho. I think Itachi would feel relieved but also very guilty. Shisui too. Tenzo is violently neutral bc hes still in his "learning to be a real boy" phase from root, but it's all positive for him tbh. Kakashi is tricky bc his mental state is the equivalent of someone rapidly bouncing a ball on a thin pane of glass trying to prove it's bullet proof (it's not) and has like MOUNTAINS of complexes around the words "konoha authority figure" and what he's leaving behind. He's probably the most determined to go back

Anyways uhh. Izuna gets Itachi to help him be skeptical of Tobirama and spy on him. Itachi only agrees bc he violently reminds him of Sasuke (this will develop into a complex if not stopped. Shisui is working on it.)

[bradenthompson]

The Starfield Experience: Crimson Fleet

Never before have I been so mixed on a video game. And that's really something, bc I'm a little shit who isn't happy with anything.

I thought, rather than attempt to "review" Starfield, I'm just gonna catalogue my journey through the respective faction questlines, culminating in actually doing the main story. To star: Space Pirates. Yo ho hohohohohohohohohohhoohoohohohohooohoohhohohhhohohhhhh

Of course it's a pirates life

so two things motivated me going evil mode: for one thing, I like pirates already. Second thing is feeling out the game's morality system. Are we getting Skyrim-style slaps on the wrist or can I be, if you will, the king of the pirates? I had been talking in some Discord, doesn't matter which one, about morality choices in video games, and decided, since I was agnostic to Starfield, I would stress test the system by being the worst guy possible. And the Crimson Fleet, the game's premiere bandit faction, promised to get me there.

The way you initiate this quest is kind of funny and also immediately disappointing. I can accept having to join up in some way other than asking the first pirate who doesn't immediately open fire, but... okay so like--

The first time I was arrested in Starfield (it can be for literally anything) instead of being taken to jail I was instead taken to the UC Vigilance, a giant space cop flagship, and interred under Commander Ikande. He made me a deal: rather than serve my sentence, I can instead become a dirty filthy stinky RAT. He wanted me to join up with the Crimson Fleet and find out whatever they're up to because they were apparently real excited about something. You can refuse him, and I guess proceed to jail, but I wanted to be a pirate anyway and accepted, planning on cutting Ikande off the moment I could***************

What sort of crime did I pull? Failed a pickpocket check. Intentionally. Because by then I had already killed like three people unnoticed, one of which out in broad daylight trying to get caught but New Atlantis clearly doesn't do "see something say something." By then I just wanted to see what jail looks like, man. Now I did pick the "Gangster" trait at the character creation, a background picked up by Ikande in dialogue. So that was cool. Idk what he brings up for players who didn't pick that. "Based on your failed attempt to steal a lollipop, I think you're just who we need to infiltrate the Turbo Murder Gang."

Turbo Murder Gang

The Crimson Fleet initiation was deceptively simple. I first meet up with first mate Naeva Mora. She sends me off to kill a Crimson Fleet deserter named Austin Rake. Zooming off to his location, I discover Rake had shacked up with a civilian ship. Boarding, I ask for Rake, they say they don't have him, I say I'm going to shoot everybody (evil character), they say "oh nevermind he's right here," he shoots everyone, and then I shoot him. Yo ho.

After that, Naeva decided I was one cold sonofabitch and invited me to The Key, Crimson's Fleet main hideout. Here I met their leader, Delgado, and realized terribly quickly that things were gonna be a lot less violent than I was anticipating.

Before setting you loose, and constantly as you report back to his bitch ass, Ikande urged me to avoid killing anyone. Seeing as he was a space cop, I ignored this. I'm about to join a gang of space pirates whose canned NPC text is twenty four variations of "hmm I think I'll have murder for dinner." Odds are slim we avoid violence.

Delgado's grand plan is finding the Space One Piece. Legend has it an old banking ship crashed out in wildspace some years ago, and the credits (bc we're in space) inside would set us up for life. It's very pirate-y to be hunting for treasure, okay, I get it. But space pirates? We'd be robbing a bank with extra steps. We're really building to a bunch of credits? This is not a game where money is hard to come by; half the NPCs are walking about with 1000 bucks minimum, and baby I'm running a pickpocket build.

ugh, fine, okay, treasure hunt. But I better get to plunder a few ships along the way.

Ice Planet with a bunch of bug enemies

(I didn't take any screenshots and couldn't find any online, so here's a picture of Greenland)

Our first mission was to go to the ice planet The Key orbits in order to find some leads on the ultimate treasure. This ice planet prison does lead to some lore on the Fleet, but man I was pitching a fit the whole time. I wanna plunderrrrrrrrrruh. Suffice to say my first impression of space pirate questing was not too exciting. All the enemies here are native bugs you gotta aim at the floor to shoot. Felt very wimpy, even when the big one showed up for a boss fight later.

But that's ignoring this quest's diamond in the rough, a man named Mathis:

He's also a Crimson Fleet initiate, just like me. When we landed on ice planet the game started feeding me all these dialogue options to antagonize Mathis. Unprompted, mind you. It's always trying to underhand me some bad guy options, and this time they were all "fuck Mathis" flavored. I thought it was funny, so I picked them every time. This got Mathis quite heated with me, and to put the candle on this filler episode birthday cake, Mathis and I found ourselves on the other side of a cave in, separated from the rest of the pirates. Here's when he dropped all the antagonism and immediately dealt me into his plan: kill Delgado. Why he wanted to do this, I still don't know. Why he would invite me in on the plan, even though we hate each other, I wish I knew. But I wasn't exactly loyal to Delgado, by any means. That, and when Mathis brought this up I started to turn around on the guy. Thought "wow, Mathis doesn't fuck around. Maybe he's alright."

From then on, Mathis and I were pals. We killed bugs, found sick gamer loot, and he was over the moon when I told (lied to) Delgado he was one hell of a pirate. Not that killing bugs in a space prison would prove this, anyway. But Delgado was happy with our work, and from then on we were Crimson Fleet bona fides (the way I'm pronouncing that is a secret, oohohohohoho). Soon after this, Mathis pulled me aside and suggested we drop that "killing Delgado" business. It was never brought up again. Still dunno if I would've gone through with it or not. Probably would've.

Siren of the Snores

(not my screenshot)

I haven't been super clear on what this ultimate treasure is, and I have to be now for any part of this next mission to make sense.

Kryx' Legacy is the name. All I knew at the start was it's a bunch of credits. Come to find out, Kryx is the founder of the Crimson Fleet and Legacy is the name of a GalBank ship lost in an unknown nebula. I said this earlier but I wanna be super clear right now. A high ranking GalBank executive, with the credentials needed to get inside the bank's archives (housing the final known location of the Legacy) is currently lounging on a big space yacht. This is the Siren of the Stars and my goodness is it a snoozer of a quest. And it shouldn't be! It's perfectly in line with my character build! Even so! Even sooo!!!

It's a whole process just getting to this executive guy. Gotta talk to all the patrons until one of them decides to tell you something useful. Then you talk to his mistress, then you talk to some third guy, then you talk to... whatever his name was. It's talking in circles with one--maybe two--persuasion checks. On one save, I went postal. Killed everyone on the stupid ship and got the info I needed. Only to discover my Crimson Fleet contact inside the ship, guy by the name of Rokov, got scared(?) and locked himself inside a room I couldn't open??? Sorry, Rokov the space pirate, is this not your speed?

Ugh. Loaded a save and did the quest orthodox. After one lap of this damn boat I was sick to death of it. Seven laps later I was thinking of quitting the Fleet. They talk a big game. You're in for life or you're dead, sucker. Or else what, Naeva? You're gonna send three ships at a time every six hours? Execute this (picture me flippin her the bird. Hell yea).

Quick thing about Naeva Mora: she gave me an optional goal in this quest. Steal an expensive award set with precious space diamonds. Only one woman on board had access to the award. But I, the silver tongued devil of the stars, was able to persuade her into giving me the key to the vault. You ask, how. How did you, a space pirate dressed in rags, convince a stuffy lady on an expensive pleasure cruise to just give me her multimillion dollar trinket? I don't know. This is the most absurd persuasion check in the game, so far.

From there I jetted over to New Atlantis and snuck my way inside the GalBank archives. There was less money to steal than you would think but I suppose this isn't the vault. Killed some mercs, got the location.

How are we doing on heist missions over here?

So we've got the location of the Legacy, but no way to get close. See, it's in a hazardous nebula that'd fry any normal ship that dares approach. The cynical man would assume the game's solution was some novelty ship part that protects from the nebula and has zero function outside of this questline. And sometimes cynics are correct.

We need the ComSpike, dammit! What's a ComSpike? I forget. Protects ships from bad nebula juju. I'm not knocking the story for details that I forget, to be clear. Nor was I happy that the pirates were sending me off on another secret heist. In fairness, I didn't have to do these missions the way the game suggested. I could go postal on every facility I'm told to infiltrate (more on that later). But because I was so oddly punished for doing so on the last quest, that led me to assume some approaches were preordained. The Crimson Fleet has connections to uphold (WHY).

Whatever. I go to New Atlantis and talk to Huan Daiyu, pictured above. She's a smuggler, owns a pretty cool ship called the Jade Swan (am I a bad person for predicting her ship would be called the Jade Something?). I'm gonna bum a ride to her next dropoff, dropping off myself and sneaking aboard a research station that just so happens to be working on that ComSpike technology. In the opening steps of this quest, I encountered the first real Bethesda Moment of this game.

Picture this: I'm on the intercom with Huan. She tells me I need to find a keycard to get to the next level of this station. In her dialogue, explicitly, she suggests picking someone's pocket. Well, you read my mind, Huan. Just so happens I've been dumping skill points into pickpocketing...

Imagine my deflation when I had checked every pocket in that damn storage room, only to find the keycard was on a table and only accessible by talking to multiple guards in a specific sequence. Let's be really nice and say not all of Huan's suggestions are going to work. Dynamic world, indeed! I'm gonna throw myself out the airlock!

Throughout the infiltration I was only answering Huan's calls to be nice. Couldn't trust one bit of advice from her after that. She's not a reliable source. So I throw on a security uniform, talk my way into the engineering bay, find the ship fitted with the ComSpike, and perform a high-precision shipjacking outta there. Not an ounce of booty plundered, not a doubloon to be seen. What a life, the pirate's life.

We have Night City at home

It only occurred to me in this mission. Something that should've occurred to me about three heist missions ago.

The NPCs in this game are so fucking mean, all the time.

It's not even prompted. Mathis, I get. I was busting his chops something fierce. But everyone else is just off rip "wassup dickshit, I'm Suzy Cosmonaut, and you're dirt on my boot. Hows about you go find a USB stick but hey don't forget to kiss my ass on your way out."

What am I supposed to do? I say something rude back. What, I'm supposed to take that? My dream was to fill my ship with my best buddies in the galaxy but I think I mostly hate all of these people.

Ugh. I fly off to Neon. Great city name, guys. This must be the criminal underbelly. Where do you think they shack up? The part of Neon literally called the Underbelly? And what do you suppose this crime syndicate is called?

Neon is a city built out of placeholder names. Indistinguishable from any cyberpunk town in all of fiction. Uninspiring place. One of my character traits is being from here, which is more embarrassing than the city I'm actually from irl. But fuck it, whatever, let's ride.

Estelle Vincent is my contact in Neon. She knows where I can find the schematics for the conduction grid the Fleet will need to access nebula space. But she won't give that info for free! Nothing comes cheap in Neon, baby!

I was in full Fuck It mode by this point of the questline. My promise for this quest was to kill everybody I could get away with killing (more, on, that, later). So when Estelle wants me to go talk to Generdyne executive Ayumi Komiko about gaining access to their computers, well... sorry Ayumi. Victim of circumstance.

After Ayumi was super dead, I stomped over to Generdyne with her access card and opened fire. Terrible scene, no survivors, yo-ho-ing all the way. One must imagine justice served somewhere in this--no doubt cancelled out by the rest of the carnage. But whatever. This is the piratiest I've felt so far. I shoot my way to the top floor, where the brother of the CEO just gives up the computer. Turns out he hates his stupid CEO brother and I should probably kill him too. Noted.

When I go to meet back with Estelle, that Generdyne CEO is sitting in her place. He offers me a deal to sell out Estelle, which I refuse. Estelle was my test subject, to see if I could make someone less mean to me by sticking my neck out. I lied and said it was all me, he didn't believe me, I put a shotgun to his temple and realized he's an essential NPC and cannot be killed. Party's over.

After this, would you believe it, Estelle did like me! I only had to sell myself out in her place and pay her like 9000 credits for like no reason. But I turned someone around. Now it was time to finally get me treasure.

The One Piece Is Real

I'm gonna bring this up now before I forget. Periodically, after every heist or so, I was instructed (by the quest markers, not anyone else) to report back to the UC Vigilance and Commander Ikande. Because this is also Point Break and I'm technically a government agent. Despite me showing no loyalty, lying to his face every chance I had, insulting him and his crew, and straight up shooting his flagship twice, I was Ikande's spy on the inside and expected to give report. The whole questline I was looking for outs. Some reason to cut these dorks off and go full pirate. To my knowledge, there's scarce ways of doing this. Won't say there isn't one, just nothing immediately obvious.

Until now.

I'm called to the bridge and Ikande's super pissed about my Neon killing spree. Just steaming mad. So mad he's ready to terminate this deal and send me to jail. I give his crew the rope-a-dope and run back to my ship, just barely shootin out of there. Exciting! Felt appropriately climax-ey, and it's genuinely cool that was a moment I could orchestrate with my own choices.

No time to lose. I'm off to Kryx' Legacy while the rest of the Fleet at the Key gets ready for the UC Vigilance to come knocking. Should've guessed I'd also be getting the ultimate treasure alone. This was so far the most impressive setpiece of the game. The thundering of the space lightning outside while I navigated the dead stranded spaceship was sufficiently immersive. I was immersed, for the first time in this game, and I was savoring this moment. The flashlight was on, people.

It's sci fi, so all this treasure is loaded onto an external hard drive. Look, I didn't need a big wooden chest with gold doubloons spilling out but I shouldn't be able to fit a bajillion dollars in my backpack. As soon as I have the treasure, the ship is critically damaged and I gotta skedaddle. I'm always down for a "flee the facility" type mission and this one delivers. Hop back in my ship, make just enough distance to avoid the magnificent explosion of the Legacy, and now all that's left is to get the gold home. Easily the best quest in the Crimson Fleet, no contest.

And now, the worst quest in the Crimson Fleet

angry emoji angry emoji devil horn emoji angry emoji

Right when I get back to the Key, Delgado tells me the UC Vigilance is knocking at out doors. It's now or never, them or us. Turns out, had I not burned that bridge earlier, I would've had the choice of fighting for either the space pirates or the space cops. My decision had been made hours ago, and that aforementioned bridge was aforementionably burnt. We're fighting for the pirates, gah dammit.

Oh my god

Who playtested this. Still riding in the starter ship, I was now tasked with fighting off like a half dozen ships double my level and working off WWII flying ace AI. I died, and I counted, nine times. Half of which in the first two minutes. oooooh, gamer rage. By attempt ten, and sorry for breaking my own immersion, by I jumped outta that part of space, over to a shipwright, and got my weapons upgraded along with a new shield. I could barely squeeze out a win with this boost. No I did not lower the difficulty because I shouldn't have to, dammit, and yes this put and impenetrable stank on the final leg of this questline.

One silver lining to all this: I'm a reincorporation loving person, and was delighted to see all those pirates I had worked with across the questline suddenly swooping in for the final stand. Cinematic stuff, I loved it. Mathis was there, Rokov was there (who?), Huan was there, Estelle was there. Even Adler Kemp was there. I didn't even mention him, he seemed so inconsequential. But he showed up! Love that sort of thing.

We in tandem blow away the auxiliary space cops (not for lack of gamer rage) and board the Vigilance to kill Ikande. High energy firefight, this. I'm constantly impressed by the number of players in any one fight, in this game. Back in the Skyrim xbox 360 days, I remember doing the civil war questline and going "wow, there's like twenty NPCs in this thing." In Starfield, that number's the standard. Truly next gen, amiright guys.

Me and my friends blow our way through the Vigilance, I spend like ten minutes looking for a healing item of some sort, free some prisoners, and eventually we're at the bridge. The game even leaves in some briefs moments where I can chat with all the friends[citation needed] I made along the way. Me and Huan high five. There wasn't an animation for this or anything, but I imagine we did a jumping high five. Excuse me for roleplaying. Me and Mathis bump hips.

At the bridge, and really I should've seen this coming, there's a dialogue with Commander Ikande. The honorable man he is, Ikande calls for his crew to abandon ship and plans to self-destruct the Vigilance with all of us on it. There's precious little time to talk him out of this, and scarce options for doing so. But I'm a gangster, and have exclusive ganger dialogue options. So I have the option of telling Ikande "hey, cancel the self destruct or we're gonna torture your crew," thinking this would open up more dialogue.

But he chickens out right here. Goes "okay, fine, I'll cancel it just don't hurt my crew." And like, dude. We've been hurting your crew. They're all dead, actually. This is the most empty threat possible in this situation and this disciplined space cop chief buckles at my first threat. What a guy. We take him prisoner and the Vigilance is ours. Supreme Victory.

I deeeeed it

Here comes my favorite part of any Bethesda questline epilogue. When all the celebration dialogue is exhausted and all the NPCs just start to aimlessly wander away, throwing out a few more canned "wahoo we did it" lines. It's a joy, I'm so glad Starfield still does this.

Delgado gets me my cut of the Legacy: 200k credits. This feels like a lot of money for this point in the game. I have seen ships that cost twice this, but it's a decent reward all the same. That, and I had picked up plenty of paychecks along the way, so my ultimate takeaway is bigger.

Best of all, Naeva doesn't think I'm lower than dirt anymore. She gives me a cool Crimson Fleet jacket and a room on the Key. I promptly placed one chair down in the dead center of the room. Home. Naeva's a classic NPC who talks a herculean game and does jack shit the whole questline. I warmed up to her.

With my new credits, I bought a Crimson Fleet Phantom ship, and hired my first crew member. Finding him piss drunk in the Key's bar, I threw my arm around the shoulder of good ol' Mathis and offered him a place on my ship. He agreed, now my best buddy and no longer wishing to kill Delgado. I also tried to get Huan on my crew, but I guess she's got her own thing going on. I wished her well, Mathis and I cleared out bounties, and we took off for our next adventure.

Crimson Fleet: In Conclusion

Pretty mixed on this. While there's a pretty strong ending despite the awful awful HORRIBLE ship battle, everything leading up to this felt distinctly un-pirate. As if the game wasn't comfortable with me going morally undercarriage. Odd stance to take, with the space pirate questline, but this is the studio that watered down the Dark Brotherhood (I said it). While the gameplay loop is showing me some promise, I was always feeling like I had to fight the game to play it my way. Maybe I take this as a lesson: I gotta commit to the type of character I wanna be. The game will attempt to lure me away, but I gots to be evil.

My next questline is the Freestar Rangers, and only because that's the first major one I was introduced to apart from the main quest. See ya there, I say shooting away in my new spaceship which you're gonna have to imagine.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for concealing a huge impending promotion to my coworker/best friend?

For context: I'm basically the only reason this friend has this job, though simultaneously, he's very much a factor in me being at the point I'm at, too. As in promotions I've already gotten since he started. It's an office job, the kind that tbqh we're both very privileged to have. Like where the title you have doesn't actually give you that much more responsibility (sometimes it gives you less) but it does give you more money kind of job, and we get paid on salary.

So I've been here like a decade. I worked my ass off to move up the ladder. He's been here a couple years and thanks to me he's basically speedran all that to a position very adjacent to mine. I'm kind of his boss but I'm just one of many people who'd have the authority to fire him, if I wanted to? And that group of people has actually recently gotten a new member, bc our company is getting bought out. There were a lot of layoffs happening as a result, even to the degree of both of us worrying about the possibility of getting fired. Like REALLY worried. We've even gotten closer in recent months specifically trying to plan together about what to do to prevent that from happening. I'd already have called him my best friend before but I guess I'd say that if I had any doubts he'd say the same, they're gone now after that period of time. This is relevant bc it's part of why each of us thinks the other is the asshole, I guess.

Anyway, nevermind all that worry, apparently my leadership skills are admirable enough for the new big boss to specifically want to move me up a LOT. I wasn't expecting it at all. New boss revealed this in an otherwise kind of relaxed "meeting," too, where it was just the two of us, and where nothing was formally promised. So I frankly had a sense that it wasn't quite set in stone. So when my friend asked about what happened in this "meeting" a few minutes later, I didn't tell him about the specific good news. But I DID give him a vague, *truthful* reassurance that we'd be okay and wouldn't lose our jobs.

So here's where it gets into that HE could possibly be the asshole: In his words, he was afraid that I was overconfident or mistaken about how likely we were to keep our jobs, or whatever. What he does like RIGHT after I give him that reassurance is go to eavesdrop on the new boss. and then pass on some sensitive information to other people in the company who could actually affect a major shareholder meeting. I obviously can't go into detail but the info he passes on is the exact kind of thing that had the potential of costing me, really US, the job(s).

Before any kind of meeting actually happened, I found out through a third party that he'd essentially tattled. I was unbelievably pissed. We got into a bit of a physical scuffle that I started. I'm not proud of it, but he hit me back, so I feel we're even. And we still did get the promotion in the end. The conflict that remains is this argument we keep coming back to: about why I "wasn't just honest about good news"/"why I tried to scare him"/ "why I didn't trust him", etc -- vs why HE didn't trust ME! I didn't want to risk leaking sensitive information (which he went and fucking did anyway), and also, I frankly wanted to surprise him. And he totally robbed me of the ability to show him *I* swung it for us.

I know how I sound but I do feel he went behind my back. Ultimately it didn't actually mean anything but that's still what he did. Meanwhile he of course feels that I gave him no choice but to do that. His defense includes that he was just trying to save his own job (tbqh he did stand to have like over half his salary docked), which I respect in the scheme of things but as it relates to us two, personally, I wanna win this argument. Which of us did worse?

[marmolita]

misc life stuff behind the cut

it's puberty time for the kids 😩

by which I mean kid 1 is now eating like a bottomless pit and has grown an inch and a half in the last six months or so

and this morning kid 1 woke up crying and said she had no idea why she was crying, didn't feel ill, wasn't upset about anything. She wasn't too happy to find out that puberty makes hormones crazy and crazy hormones mean sometimes you just cry for no reason!

anxious kid with the phobia (kid 2) may have OCD but we're not sure yet

this wouldn't be too surprising since my sister has OCD and I am just under the borderline for it (bc it doesn't interfere with my daily life) and Mr Lita's family has an extensive history of various anxiety, panic, and depressive issues

in any case the treatment (CBT, exposure) is the same as it is for phobia, so really the only thing that has to be decided is whether to change kid 2's as-needed medication to a daily medication and I'd rather avoid that as long as I can bc I'm worried about the impact on her development and there doesn't seem to be a lot of research on that. She's doing okay for the time being.

we saw the eclipse yesterday! 3 minutes and 29 seconds of totality which was pretty wild but tbh not as "life changing experience" as it was kinda hyped up to be

don't get me wrong it was really cool but I wouldn't have sat in the car for hours just for that, I'm glad all I had to do was walk into my backyard haha

it's that time of year when there are a million activities going on and our schedule is so full all the time, but I know that it doesn't hold a candle to people who are *actually* busy. We have one sports team, two weekly lessons/classes, and girl scouts, but people who have multiple kids in multiple sports are just. I don't know how they do it.

meanwhile there are a lot of things I WANT to do but feel like I don't have time for, because outside of work all my time is spent on my kids. yesterday I took the day off for the eclipse and had no plans to leave the house, so I accomplished the tasks I had on my to-do list of: cleaning both of my kids' rooms. Sigh. At least I found the library book we thought we'd lost!

[izzy-b-hands]

So. I'm allowing myself a vent post or two abt Stuff in the Brain today that won't fuck off, but it'll all be under a cut if I feel I'm at risk of being too wordy so folks don't gotta see this if they don't wanna. And on this one I did get wordy, multi-paragraphs so. fair warning if u decide to be brave and read thru it lol

I'm behind on getting Mum a bday gift. Like two weeks behind. Partially bc money, partially bc the thing I really wanted to get her involves bidding on ebay and attempting to win a listing (and I just haven't managed it yet lmao), and partially bc like:

For once I've been living my life for me, thinking abt me and Housemate first and foremost, and focusing on what I actually want/need from day to day, and that means I'm away from my phone a bit more than usual, which means I've missed some calls and texts from Mum and just haven't been as Available via phone/apps/etc as I've been in the past

(including one time in the last week or so where Housemate and I stepped aside to the kitchen to make ourselves mac n cheese, and Mum was late to calling me for a planned call, so I figured I was safe to leave the phone by the couch while we cooked. Nope! In that less than half hour, 25 mins at most that it took us to finish mac and get plated up, she figured we'd both A. fallen down the stairs and were now dying from brain bleeds while the cats sniffed us in panic and fear B. decided to cut her out of my life forever and so now I wasn't going to be answering her calls (tho this point I didn't know until a much more recent text where she admitted to it and did say she was ashamed of feeling that way.) )

So I really need to get something out to her, either the chocolates I was planning on sending for her and the family from a local shop, the Snoopy Build-A-Bear plushie with a lil 'I miss you' tshirt and a voice thingy inside it with me telling her to remember that I love her and am always grateful for her help and care and things like that, whatever will fit lol (this is the fucker that triggered this whole train crash of a set of thoughts today lmao), and/or something from one of the ebay listings I've been trying to get (I just need to accept it and pay the buy it now price considering what the thing is isn't like. Uber rare? But apparently Bon Jovi doesn't have their figurines made any more, so they're a bit harder to find and I'm gonna risk not getting one at all if I don't just. do the dang thing lmao)

I'm thinking the Snoopy would be best/easiest for rn, but I keep getting stuck on what I'll say for the recording and it's so dumb but like:

I know, for the sake of both of us and the deeply grown and intertwined sort of emotionally incest-flavoured codependency Mum and I have, we probably should eventually try going NC or LC for at least like. a month or two in the future? Probably even a bit longer? Not as like a 'this is forever' thing (unless something would happen that would point to that as the best option for both of us), but just until we can maybe both heal a bit and work closer towards something even vaguely approaching a more normal mother/son relationship.

And the particular fear is very silly but like. I'd hate to say the things I have planned, that I mean (I do love her, and I know she does her best, and so I'm grateful for every bit and every sort of help she's ever given or will ever give me), and then we someday go NC or LC, and she's hurt by having the plush and audio around as a reminder of how things were before. I could see her throwing it away in a fit, and then being so sad and begging for a new one by the next day. And I'd want to get her one. I don't know if that's right of me or not.

Like, the trauma has me Entirely overthinking this and I know it's ridiculous, you know? But still. Got the Build-A-Bear tab open on my phone bc the chocolate is at least partially to be shared, so that's Not Enough as a partial belated bday gift; and I'd like to hit another paycheck (or part of it, since the uni rarely puts the full fucking direct deposit in on scheduled payday lmao) before I try for the Bon Jovi figurine (and hope it isn't bought before that point.) So the plush is really the best choice, and I don't want to wait any longer to send anything out bc like. Her bday was at the beginning of March, this is fucking ridiculous of me and not how I like handling gifts at all, for anyone!!

Fingers crossed I just. Get the fucking recording done, get it ordered and have them send it out to her, and that'll be enough until I can get my hands on a figurine and/or order the chocolates and candies for her, her bf, and to share with the rest of the family.

[getstickbugdlol]

a summary of the Not Breaking Up saga

bf was supposed to move in with me at the end of this month, this has been the plan for a long time and it was his idea and we've been working towards it for like probably a year and a half at this point. we got a cat together last october with the anticipation he'd move in in august

he graduated law school last year and recently had to take the bar for the third time, he's come very close to passing each time but hasn't quite gotten there and he said this is the final time he'll take it. his postdoc job finishes next wednesday and he has struggled to apply for jobs in the meantime, bc his mom is a Girlboss who does everything for him and he got rejected from a job and freaked out

i was visiting friends in arizona last week and bf was catsitting. the cat we adopted is FIV+/special needs plus he has a food obsession so he has a specialty diet and schedule, he needs supplements. before i left arizona i asked bf to get more dry food and he said he would. i reminded him when i was in arizona and he said he would. i was like ok i'm going to leave it at that. mind you i was gone for over a week, so a weekend passed while i was gone. i came home straight off a redeye flight and had to go to urgent care because i have some sort of UTI/bladder infection, and i got home to find that not only had he STILL not gotten the dry food (although i knew for a fact all he did on one of the days he was here was play video games), the litter boxes hadn't been cleaned for several days, hobgoblin hadn't gotten his supplements, nobody had been given their flea/tick meds or hairball meds, there was extra trash piled up, he had not done the dishes he'd used, my garbage and recyling were full of empty alcohol containers, and all my toilet paper was gone. i called him pretty upset about that and he doubled down he didn't do anything wrong and all of a sudden goes "i don't think it's a good idea for us to move in together" and i was like wtf you know i love you and i want to make this work. i went over to his house tuesday night and he said he had concerns about our long term compatibility and i was so caught off guard because we already had this fight last year about staying in nyc vs going and i thought we got through it. he said it's difficult for him to communicate but he was afraid moving in together would lead us to resent each other and he wasn't sure about it. i left in obvious tears and got so angry because i was like oh my god, you're the one who has had your foot on the commitment gas pedal this whole time, to dip now is sooooo shitty and hurtful. i was like you know we don't have to live together, and we haven't lived together so we don't know that's going to happen and he said he was afraid every time the apartment got messy he'd get blamed...i went home in tears and freaked out and posted everywhere and called him and said i have been so brave in this relationship, and i think you are being terrible and cowardly right now. he was supposed to cat sit again next week but i called my mom in so he could come get his stuff from her instead of me.

at emergency therapy the next day my therapist was like woah this is very fast to go straight to break up, get your mom in here (who does not have great boundaries about my relationships), come get your stuff. this is a big decision, and considering both of us are autistic, it makes sense we might have communication breakdowns sometimes, but he might need a little more time to process things. why go straight to break up, it's going to be painful either way. and i was like damn it sonia i hate it when you're right but i called him and basically said i love you and i don't want to break up but i don't want to pressure you to be in a relationship you don't want to be in. but i'm sorry i was cruel and if you need some time to think then take it. he said he loves me too and he was still processing but we'd talk the following night.

so yesterday in the morning he told me he woke up really clear headad and wanted to talk after work and last night we talked and he said that me calling him a coward made him think, and he is really scared about the future and lashed out at me and pinned his worries on our relationship because he was feeling pressure about moving in, but he loves me so much and these have been the happiest three years of his life and he'd be so stupid to let it go over fear. i was like dude i am scared every single day of my life! the future changes ALL THE TIME, but we have to decide we want to be together and be scared together. he stood by me in MY time of crisis, and it's my turn now and it's ok to need me, and to tell me he's scared and to ask for help and if he needs time, then that's ok, we don't need to go through everything right away. he said he knows that and he appreciates it, he's never had to be the brave one before and he's freaking out. i know exactly where he is right now emotionally because i was there one year ago, and we can do this together. so we Set the Intention to work on things. i said the cats ARE a problem, they HAVE to be taken care of properly and we will talk about it, and we will see a couples counselor and cool it on moving in for a bit, and he needs to figure the communication out because i can't do this again. it's natural to lash out at the people closest to you, but i can't have my heart and future just be collateral damage. but for right now let's just remember that we have something really special, and that we like each other and we have fun together. so tonight i'm going over to his house again and we will have a loooooong conversation about where to go from here.

my body is still in a lot of shock and pain, but my boss was really understanding, and so many people rallied around me in support. also like 5 separate people were like "nah this is a fight not a breakup" so clown hours for me. i'm definitely still tender, but i think this is the best possible outcome. bf and i have a really wonderful relationship with a lot of mutual respect and genuine enjoyment. i feel very freed and uplifted by it about 98% of the time until fights like this happen so i hope that he is able to work on this. he seems committed but saying it and doing it are two different things. i'm just deciding to trust him on it

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Made two phone calls this afternoon. Hate phonecalls. One was neighbour who only wanted to ask smthn about the door but call ended up being 20 minutes. She kept adding things in even after I explained I hate phone calls.

Didn't take much in from it but made vague plans to talk abt volunteer group im looking to join that she's part of

Friend showed me an app that let's you buy food that's going to be thrown out from local stores very cheaply! I found somewhere within walking distance, big excite

Ask neighbour if she wants to come with, very excited to share

Realise after I book it the pickup time is a half hour window, immidiately before we'd been planning to meet (she has a group she runs)

I dont feel comfortable going to the group for Reasons I explained to her. I apologise for misreading the times and ask if she wants to meet later

Shes annoyed bc I apparently made Proper Official Plans to discuss Volunteer Work with her?? Over the phone? She made a spreadsheet????

I'm Big Stress

She says something about "we need to have a talk abt how this kind of thing affects my autism"

Suddenly I'm PISSED. I do nothing BUT think about that. How come you aren't doing the same for me??

Almost as soon as that thought forms, I immidiately shut down. Just. Completely. Like a switch flipped and all the irritation turned into Panic

Im fucking exhausted now and trying to find the energy to go amd get my fucking food, but. Preeeety sure my brain made the connection between "You fucked up" plus "your apologies and explanations don't matter" and dove headfirst into "OH LOOK, YOUR MOTHER IS TALKING TO YOU."

So that's fun.

Hnngnngn Okay interesting, mild disagreement with neighbour triggered ptsd shutdown

I need to go Out in 20 minutes

[outrunningthedark]

Your blog is a breath of fresh air and I love seeing such nuanced & well-thought out comments about the show. As much I loved 911/Buddie, I stopped watching like 6 eps into s5 bc the BT + overall OOC-ness of the show became too much and didn't wanna put energy into something that was upsetting me. I only know stuff thru tumblr posts and never fully understood what happened w/ lucy and the fallout. was she planned to be a main/B's LI but ppl hated her so much they wrote her outta the show? [1/2]

[2/2] I've seen folks mention that they filmed a lot of scenes with her that got cut? I know next to nothing about her character, and was trying to find a summary of what happened in regards to her/her planned arc from the lens of buddie/tumblr fandom (not just wiki summaries), and your posts are some of the most informational and level-headed content I've seen on here, so thank you for that! <3 Hello, nonnie! First things first: I put together this post from 5x11 -> 5x15 that details AK's deleted scenes and how she was told to set up the BL dynamic. You'll see that Lucy as a love interest was never confirmed, but the show wanted the audience to keep the possibility in their minds. (Cliffs notes: "Sometimes they’re borderline poking at one another. Sometimes it’s flirty…. But is it flirty, or is it poking?") Another quote to back up the will they-won't they angle: While she does move on after [Buck] reveals he has a girlfriend, expect to see them “bounce very quickly between being best pals and having a little bit of sexual tension.” Because that post only went to the midway point of 5B, I can now add that an Eddie and Lucy interaction was also cut from the later episodes (possibly the finale): "...there’s a really nice moment towards the end of the season between Lucy and Eddie and you get to see Lucy gets it.” As for whether or not the plan was to make Lucy a main...AK and Kristen and Tim know the answer to that, but from the onset AK and Kristen spoke about Lucy's future, probably in hopes of endearing the character to the audience over the course of 5B: Reidel also revealed that fans won't meet Lucy's family this season, teasing: "Depending on what happens going forward, though, we'd love to. We make jokes about doing the whole Blue Bloods dinner set-up." Kebbel hinted that if the show is renewed for a sixth season, the plotline leaves room for more developments with Lucy. Peter Krause gave an interview prior to the finale where he referred to Lucy as a new member of the family because, as we found out, the final shot of the season was all the OG firefam + Lucy (+ Ravi, on the opposite side) walking together towards the trucks. But then summer came. AK posted about preparing for her first day on set - a day that just so happened to be the first for s6 production. And then...she wasn't there. She was actually in North Carolina filming a movie (but she sure did have people freaking out for a minute, which was probably the goal). We never saw her on set. The Lucy scene from 6x01 was a "surprise" to the audience. Before and after the premiere Kristen gave an interview where she said she was hoping to bring Lucy back in the second half of the season. This is what Kristen said at the conclusion of 6A: Are there plans for Arielle Kebbel’s Lucy to return to 9-1-1 this season? “I’m not sure yet. We’re still planning the back half of the season (premiering in Spring 2023), so there are some question marks about space and real estate and what the stories are going to be. We’re still figuring that out.”

I don't think it's out of line to say the negative/dismissive reception impacted AK's place on the show rn, but I also think that it's possible that even *if* Kristen wanted to "start over" and act like the BL stuff didn't happen, AK made the decision to distance herself from this experience for now since it did not go at all like she was told/believed it would. (Many will say that Kristen probably thought people would look past the cheating because they just wanted BT to end, and with the way AK was able to discuss her character and Buck potentially having something brewing while he was still going to be in a relationship...yeah, that checks. On the one hand, I want to feel sorry for AK that her boss completely misread the room and had her thinking it was a great idea, but on the other....she did not sign up for another coming-of-age teen drama. People don't want to see that kind of stuff on a show like 9-1-1, especially not from a character as loved as Buck. If she knew anything about the show she could have seen the backlash coming. Do your research, babes.)

[rogue-durin-16]

THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part II/VII)

"candy floss"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, feels, brief mention of Fred x Reader ig?

A/N: I decided to name the parts bc why the fuck not so keep an eye on the titles 👀. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue :the aftermath

Part I : sleepless nights

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The moment the last group of customers decided it was time to call it a day and exited the shop, I left the till counter and grabbed my wand from my pocket, instantly turning the sign in the door so it could be read from outside 'closed'.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the multicolored wooden rail.

I was drained.

The shop helped our minds to get distracted and stray from the grief, yes, but it was also exhausting.

We had been subconsciously overworking ourselves to the point where it was borderline self-destructive.

It didn't help that I was throwing myself into comforting George, either. I could not be blamed for doing that, though; he was broken.

A part of me, the rational one, knew he would pick up the pieces and build himself up again, it would just take a lot of time.

There was another part of me, though, that depressed, drained part, that was beginning to think he would never heal by himself —maybe he wouldn't heal at all— but still held onto the hope that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to mend what had been broken in him.

A terrible idea, really, because I started to dismiss in its entirety my own miserable, damaged state.

And George, ever the caring, sensible one, would have noticed that; he would have made me realize I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, he would have talked some sense into me, but he wouldn't— he couldn't, because George was lost in an ocean of grief, trying so hard not to drown that he wasn't able to notice I was trying to aid him from my very own sinking boat.

It also seemed to be working; he was more animated, slept more soundly, and his smile was a bit brighter even —at least the one he had for me.

"Rough day?" My eyes, which I didn't know I had closed, fluttered open at George's voice.

"Very."

He walked to me with a tinge of guilt in his face. "You know we can switch places, right?" I had been working as the public face of the shop since we had reopened, and George had taken on the task of doing the paperwork and shippings instead, showing up from time to time to help me and to let people know there was still a Weasley running the business.

I had been the one to suggest this, since I knew George had compromised with reopening only because of me, and he was clearly not ready to put up a sociable, positive attitude for dozens of people every day.

"Nah, it's fine like this." I assured him with a reassuring smile.

He measured me with his eyes for a second; I couldn't really tell if he saw through me or not. "So I was preparing the today's shippings," he rocked a tiny purple basket I quickly recognised in front of me. "I found this in the back of the stockroom."

"Are those—?"

"Candy floss cupcakes, yes." A year and a half ago we had bought five baskets of candy floss cupcakes from Honeydukes per George's request in order to unsuccessfully try and implement them.

"Are they even edible anymore?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so?" He chuckled too, tearing the film covering the sweets. "Thought we might as well finish them."

My eyes travelled from the basket to him and viceversa before stating, "well I'm hungry so..."

"Same here." He was the first one to pull out a pastel colored cupcake, though he handed it to me. "Wanna get food poisoning together?" Laughing, I gave him a nod as he grabbed his own cupcake. "At the count of three?"

"One"

"Two"

"Three." We said in unison right before taking a bite of our respective madeleines.

I frowned at its surprisingly good flavour. "Am I delirious or are they actually edible?"

"Dunno," he shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth with a shrug. "maybe we're just starving."

"Go big or go home, I guess." I finished my cupcake before leaning on the basket to pick another one. My head snapped up with my brow quirked when I heard a soft chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." George shook his head, motioning at the stairs. "Shall we sit down?" I followed his lead, sitting on the stairs and waiting for him, who had stepped towards the drinks aisle to grab a couple of juice bottles, to do the same.

We stayed there, eating and drinking in a comfortable silence until the basket was empty and our eyelids threatened to shut.

"I think we should head back to the flat." He spoke, leaving the half empty juice aside so he could stretch.

"I'm gonna learn how to cook." I stated, getting up. "We can't get by based on most likely expired sweets and whatever is in the Leaky Cauldron menu."

"Aight." He mimicked my actions, picking up the stuff we left on the stairs. "We will learn the basics tomorrow." He got behind me and began to gently push in the flat's direction. "But now we're gonna get some sleep, miss."

I would be lying if I said my heartbeat didn't pick up when his hands landed on my shoulder blades and made their way to rub both my arms reassuringly.

I would be lying if I denied I leaned back when he did that, letting myself get closer to his chest.

And I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't crave going back to my room so I could cuddle him all night.

One Week Later

"—right in the cauldron, love." I pointed at the cauldron besides me, giving a sweet smile to the kid in front of me, visibly going to be sick thanks to the free sample of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Y/n!" I spun around at the loud calling of my name above the shop's racket. I was able to discern a long, red mane flowing fast towards my position right on time for the owner to wrap her arms around me.

"Glad to see you too, Ginny." I laughed, trying not to lose balance due to her enthusiasm. "How come you're here?" I questioned, pulling away.

"We heard you were open." Harry walked up to me, appearing from behind the girl, "And thought we'd pay a visit to our friends, right?" Ginny nodded, looking around while Harry gave me a quick, yet comforting hug. "Where's George?"

I motioned up to the small office, redirecting the couple's eyes to the second floor. "Doing paperwork—AH!" I jolted when a pair of hands tickled my sides, my head snapping to see the towering ginger standing behind me. "Speaking of the devil."

"I thought I saw Gin through the window," George explained, his hands lingering on my waist for long enough to his sister to stare, before pulling Ginny into a tight hug. "And came down to check if she was distracting my employee."

"You got her all bored here, mate." Harry pointed out, a light joking tone in his voice.

"And you're the one supposed to help with that?" George rolled his eyes dramatically. "Pfft... What a world we live in." With the said, he gave the boy a side hug. I heard Harry murmur an 'We missed you' before they pulled away with a pat on the shoulder.

My gaze landed on the youngest Weasley, whose welled up eyes were trained on her older brother's half smile. I only averted my eyes and waited for her to discreetly wipe away the unspilled tears while Harry and George catched up.

By the letters she had sent me, I reckoned the last time she had been near George, he had been lifeless; seeing a glimpse of who was once one of the most cheerful, funny and charismatic people in her life, was probably poignant to Ginny.

I hadn't realized she had moved closer until I didn't hear her soft voice. "Thank you." I offered her a confused smile, though deep down I knew what she meant.

Two Days Later

George was having one of those days.

We both knew it was coming soon; it had to happen sooner rather than later, since he had been in a surprisingly good mood for almost a week. I suspected seeing Harry and Ginny had brought back the events of the Second of May.

I suggested to close the shop for the day, since he was unable to move out of bed; he refused to do so, but I convinced him to stay in the flat and rest —it was Tuesday, anyway; I wouldn't have to handle many customers.

Due to that, when I saw Hermione, Ron, Bill and Fleur entered the shop, it was understandable that I hadn't become the happiest person in the world.

I greeted them, there were hugs, kisses, and even a joke or two, and when Bill asked about George, I excused him without giving much detail.

They understood.

Fleur was the one to restart the conversation, lightening a bit before requesting a tour for the shop, since she had not yet been there.

It was when we reached the love potions that Hermione, using the fact that Fleur was very much interested in the product, held my hand and pulled me aside.

"So... how are you doing?" The frown in her face, the fact that she was whispering, the squeeze her hand gave mine, let me know she had read me the moment her eyes met mines.

I sighed with a shrug.

"You can tell me." Could I? "No one's asking you to put on a happy face, Y/n." The girl assured me, her eyes digging into mines. "It's not just George, we all lost—" she shook her head at her own words before correcting herself. "you lost him too."

I lost him too.

I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering.

The memory of Fred's broken smile as his corpse laid on the stretcher, that memory that haunted my dreams, appeared vividly before my eyes.

My lips started to burn with the ghost of that kiss he gave me before we split up, him with Percy and me with George; it hadn't been meant to be a goodbye kiss. It was meant to be a good luck kiss.

I covered my mouth to muffle a sob, and Hermione's arms were quick to be wrapped around me, reassuringly rubbing my back.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I saw them entering from Y/n's balcony; I wasn't emotionally ready to face them all at the same time, but when I didn't see them exit, I figured Y/n hadn't been able to dismiss them.

I decided I owed to them all to bite the bullet, so I threw on a shirt and the first trousers I grabbed, cleaned up a bit and left the flat.

With a deep breath, I made it to the second floor and mentally prepared myself to go down to the first one.

As I began to climb down, though, I noticed Hermione and Y/n talking in private, closer than the others to the stairs.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but all my senses were automatically focused on Y/n whenever we were in the same room; she just stole me away from reality.

"You lost him too."

Hermione's words visibly triggered something on Y/n.

'Something', as if I didn't know what they had triggered, as if I didn't know what— who was on her mind.

I guess he was always on her mind, though.

What was left of my heart shattered in a million pieces when she broke down to tears —for several reasons—. "I miss him." She whispered in Hermione's shoulder. "I miss him so much."

If I had any tears left, I would have cried my eyes out right there. Had I been so selfish that I had disregarded how she was feeling? So blinded by the light and love and warmth she was constantly giving me that I had forgotten about her grief? Was I that bad of a person, that I would have rather live in the illusion that she had not lost the boy she was dating?

My mind told me I didn't want any of those questions answered.

"George!" As Ron yelled my name in surprise, Hermione and Y/n pulled away, the latter rubbing her eyes while both of my brothers jogged upstairs to hug me. "Ginny told us you're open—"

"But Y/n said you weren't feeling well." Bill finished, squeezing my shoulder. "We only stayed a little longer for Fleur to see the shop."

"Yeah, we'll come back tomorrow," Ron assured me. "So you can rest and..."

My brother's voice sounded further and further with each word; I felt myself drifting off, getting lost in my own mind and gravitating towards the same thought over and over.

She deserves better.

[msookyspooky]

I kinda have a big theory after reading chapter 12 👀

Things to remember:

We confronted Billy about hiding something, especially since he avoided answering our questions, the main one being why he left Derek alive. We specifically pointed out how it wasn't like him to half ass anything and how the old Billy would have killed Derek without a second thought. I actually thought of this theory several chapters ago bc it'd be one hell of a twist, but what if...just WHAT IF...the reason Billy left Derek alive was bc Derek is WORKING WITH THEM. Now I bet your thinking, anon, that's ridiculous, sure Derek's sketchy, but what would Billy and Stu want with him?

Evidence 1 - Billy left Derek alive and we confronted Billy about HIDING SOMETHING during the call. We could tell there was a motive other than scaring us and it didn't make sense why Billy would leave him alive and when we said "why didn't you kill Derek? It's not like you to half ass anything" Billy boy got REAL QUIET. Who's to say Billy only injured Derek for the sake of it seeming like he was going to kill him and Billy wanted him to act like the hero to further fool us?

Evidence 2 - We pointed out during the call that Billy and Stu were getting bolder. First Stu talking to us face to face, Billy attacking us, then calling without a voice changer. If they had a third member, who's to say that wouldn't make them bolder?

Evidence 3 -Derek rushing in recklessly to save us even tho HE BARELY KNOWS US? It's the perfect ploy to get us to further trust him. We would never suspect the guy who ran in to beat Billy's ass was in kahoots with them. Instead, we'd be like awww how sweet, reality being it's all an act and we have no clue. Let's not forget he ran into the house without a weapon. Why? Maybe bc he KNEW Billy wouldn't kill him.

Evidence 4 - Derek has been oddly attached to us since we got to Windsor. He reminds us of Billy and Stu anddd that might not be such a good thing. If he has personality traits similar to them maybe they secretly get along enough to have a plan?

These are only a couple reasons why I think this theory is possible lmaooo I also feel like it's completely possible Derek is going solo and Billy and Stu are actually starting to worry about a possible copycat in the future. One con to this theory is I find it hard to believe Billy and Stu would work with anyone. It just isn't something they'd do, especially since Billy's got major trust issues. Billy and Stu clearly have shown they don't like Derek either bc of his romantic involvement with us sooo it makes it hard to believe they'd work with him.

That's a very very interesting theory that may or may not be true...But I'm glad I left enough hints to get everyone's wheels turning 👀

[theumbrellaacademytickle]

Little Klaus (1)

In which Klaus is somehow deaged and the siblings take advantage of this. Also Ben's alive BC fuck you he ain't dead in my books.

When Klaus woke up he didn't notice anything different. He didn't feel different, look different or act different.

So why is it that when he went downstairs to line up for lunch (as usual) there were five strange adults in the living room?

This lead Klaus to where he was now, backed against the door he entered by and staring at the adults, who seemed to be staring at him.

"W-who are you people?" He said, cursing himself mentally for stuttering over the first word, "What are you doing here?"

"Is anyone else seeing a baby Klaus?" The Asian man muttered, eyes flicking disbelievingly between the other adults and Klaus's own.

Klaus stepped back again, "H-how do you know my name?! Where's my siblings!?" Panic had begun to rise in his chest, and he slowly started to open the door behind him, inch by agonizing inch.

"What are we supposed to do?" A man clad in leather asked, ignoring Klaus's questions, "He clearly has no clue what's going on!"

"Klaus," a smaller woman asked, getting down onto her knees (not that it was necessary, Klaus was sure he wasn't that much shorter than her), "we aren't here to hurt you, I promise. Can you tell me what year it is?"

Green eyes flicking from each adult with panic, he answered hesitantly, "2001, why?"

A rush of hushed whispers filled the room at his answer, but Klaus had finally opened the door to an amount he could slip out of and he wasn't planning on overstaying his welcome. The 12 year old flew out of the room, taking off his clunky shoes as he ran (they were slowing him down) and running barefooted throughout the mansion.

"Come on," he muttered, panicked tears pricking at his eyes, "the others have to be somewhere!"

Hearing the yells of the adults behind him only made him panic more, and he ran over the polished wooden floors, skidding and slipping as he went but never once staying in the same place for a second. As he was heading towards the bedrooms (he was sure if his siblings were anywhere they'd be there, heading down for breakfast) he ran straight into Five. The two collided and fell to the ground, rubbing their heads before clocking each existence. Five's brow furrowed in confusion before Klaus grabbed him and shoved him into the ex-junkies room, and he shoved a chair against the door in a pitiful attempt at a barricade. Still confused, Five spoke up.

"Klaus?"

Klaus's face crumpled, and he flung himself at the 13 year old (who to be frank didn't look much different at 12). "Five," he breathed out in a panicked voice, "I-I can't find the others! Diego and Vanya, even Luther is missing! And dad isn't anywhere to be found! All I found were five adults downstairs, and I don't know who they are. I'm so glad you're ok!" His eyes had filled with tears and he buried his face into Five's neck.

"Klaus," Five asked gently, putting his arms awkwardly around the pre-teen, "W-what year is it?"

"2001, but what does it have to do with anything?"

***le time skip before this gets super long***

"So, let me get this straight," Klaus stated, "The year is 2019, these people are obviously our siblings judging by the tattoos and what I'm assuming is Vanya's lack of one, and you are in the body of a 13 year old because you travelled forward in time to prevent the apocalypse and it did some weird doolally kinda space stuff and left you like that?"

Raising his eyebrows at the choice of words, Five simply said, "Yes."

"Huh. Ok. Then why am I twelve instead of..." He paused to count on his fingers, "30? Holy hell!" His eyes widened comically, "You guys are really really old!"

Laughing gently, Ben responded, "We don't know Klaus."

"I should assume that it's something to do with the space-time continuum being messed up," Five murmured absently to himself, "but with the timeline being as fragile as it is right now I am exceedingly reluctant to mess about with it some more."

"Wait," Klaus cried, "Are you saying that I'm gonna be stuck as the youngest sibling now??!!"

"Oh, this is priceless!" Diego crowed, a large grin on his face, "Who'd have thought large beansprout Klaus would end up being the baby?"

"Oi!" The pre-teen shouted, pouting, "I'm not a baby at all!"

"You sure look like one," the leather clad man teased, and Allison huffed out a laugh, thwacking him on the head.

"Behave, you idiot," she admonished, "it's gotta be scary being stuck in that situation. It could just as easily be you."

"So," Five started, "if Klaus is going to be stuck like this for the moment, unless it doesn't wear off in which case it's permanent, I think we should try and let him get to know us and start to live a normal life."

"TRUTH OR DARE!" Klaus screamed in excitement, already running to the living room to plop himself on a couch, "SCHNELL SCHNELL!"

***another time skip Yeet***

Eventually everyone was sat in the living room (Five and Luther may have needed a little bit of coaching to get them there) and Klaus grinned widely in glee.

"Youngest to oldest, so me then Five, then in numerical order we can go Vanya, Ben, Allison, Diego and Luther!" He crowed in excitement, before turning to Five (who was quietly drinking his coffee).

"Five, truth or dare?"

Thinking for a moment, Five responded, "Dare."

"I dare you..." Klaus pondered, before pouting cutely, "I can't think of anything."

Ben leaned over and whispered into his ear, and Klaus perked up significantly, "I dare you to sit in Allison's lap for the rest of the game!"

Unable to stay mad at the seance's adorable excitement, Five grumbled good-naturedly as Allison pulled him into her lap. Five quickly turned to Ben, eager to get the attention off himself.

"Ben, truth or dare?"

"I'm gonna be boring and go with truth."

"You never know what music's on the radio now, so I have to ask, what is it that you're always listening to in your headphones?"

Laughing shyly, Ben answered, "It's... It's Kpop. Korean pop. I don't know how I got into it, I think big you introduced me to it Klaus," he laughed, getting the youngest's attention.

"Really, who's my favourite groups?"

"Well, you thirst over Jungkook from BTS," Ben teased, watching Klaus turn crimson, "but your favourite groups at the moment are BLACKPINK and Hellovenus."

"Can you show me them after we're done?"

"Sure." Ben turned to Vanya, "I think Five just wanted to ask me that question and forgot the order haha, so Vanya truth or dare?"

"Hmm... Dare."

"I dare you to pick an outfit out of big Klaus's wardrobe and wear it all day!"

Laughing incredulously, Vanya made her way to Klaus's bedroom. 5 minutes later, she came down in a pair of tight leather shorts, mesh top with a loose crop top (with the word GAY in pink on black) over the top of it, and a bright pink feather boa. "Look at this madness!" She laughed in delight, shimmying over to Klaus who was giggling non-stop. She took the feather boa off and hooked it around his skinny torso, and Klaus burst into belly laughter as she shimmied it closer towards her.

"Vanya," he laughed, "Stop it! It tickles!!"

"Oh does it really?" She smiled, "Couldn't tell, truly!"

While trying to escape the feather boa, Klaus hadn't noticed Diego sneaking up behind him and lifting him up.

"You seriously thought we'd forget how ticklish little you was? Shame on you Klaus!" The leather clad man laughed as Klaus kicked his bare feet.

"No, please don't tickle me!" He giggled nervously as Vanya stepped towards him, wiggling her fingers menacingly.

"Sorry, what's that? I couldn't make it out between the giggles," she teased, and as Klaus opened his mouth to speak again she started tickling his armpits.

Klaus instantly began giggling, kicking his legs in the air in a weak protest against the tickling. He had always been weak and frail against his siblings, the slightly too skinny one, the one who was sensitive. His protesting was half hearted as his mouth spewed out bubbly giggles.

"Nohohoho fair! Vanyahahahaha plehehehehease!!!"

"It has been too long since we tickled him," Allison laughed, Five still on her lap. The teen was looking at the scene in front of him, a rare fond smile on his face.

"Why don't you join in?" Diego laughed, "Luther take the baby from me."

At Allison's squeal of delight, Luther grabbed the kid by the wrists, sitting the underweight preteen across his lap (image BC this is a strange thing to describe???)

He grabbed the boys skinny wrists and carefully lifted them over his head, pinning them with one large hand against the couch. Knowing he was completely exposed, Klaus just laid there, bursting out into squeaky giggles as Allison went straight for his sides.

"So cute~~" The woman cooed as Klaus helplessly kicked his little feet, struggling to pull down his arms.

"Allisohohohon!! Stahahahahap!"

"Oh no, sweetheart, we're only just beginning!" She grinned, and lifted his shirt up. Klaus began to giggle apprehensively, chanting no's under his breath.

"Oh yes," Allison grinned teasingly, "I remember squeaky toy Klaus, don't the rest of you?"

A manicured nail poked the inside of Klaus's bellybutton, and he let out a squeak. His face flushed red at the adoring coos from his siblings, but he didn't have time to retaliate because Allison lightly scribbled her fingers across his flat stomach, causing him to burst once more into giggly laughter. Eventually, when the woman was done and Luther let him go, Klaus curled up in her lap, giggling cutely as she lightly rubbed his stomach.

"That feel good, Klaus?"

A sleepy nod confirmed her statement, and Allison grinned widely.

"There's not long left, baby, wanna see the game through?"

The final three finally took their turn. Allison had chosen truth, and was told to pick the current cutest UA member (Klaus was an easy win), Luther chose dare and was dared to hang upside down on the railing reciting the entirety of Eminem's Rap God while Klaus was dared to have his bellybutton (his well-known weakest spot) tickled for five minutes non stop. However, at the end of the game, with a giggly little baby Klaus still snuggling into her lap ready to fall asleep, Allison was excited to see how long this would last.

[crazymecjc]

Quotes from Mary Poppins

So I was in Mary Poppins this summer and it was the best show I've ever done, it was also one of the funniest backstage experiences I've ever had so here's some quotes from rehearsals :)

I'm referring to everyone by their character names except if they're my friends yeet

My friend Miranda, staring me dead in the eyes: “Cannibalism."

Both of us simultaneously: "hmmmm”

Miranda, frantically: “Do you want some.... boNeLesS AiR”

(She then proceeded to research if boneless air was a thing for like ten minutes)

Me, angrily: “buT wE hAvEnt had our mILK”

Honestly idk who this was: “What is in your boob?”

(Context: we were all volunteering at a meat raffle, which I didn't know was a thing before then but ok)

The guy in charge of the raffle: “If you’re selling tickets, stand up”

*everyone simultaneously drops to the floor*

Guy running the raffle: “Hors d’oeuvres is not a person”

The same guy, a half hour later: “I’m not trusting you, because you said hors d’oeuvres were a country”

The radio:“I’m looking for some way to bond with my kids” Miranda, whispering: “Mr. Banks?”

My friend Anthony:“That’s like the worst way to reduce reuse recycle”

Miranda during rehearsal for Step in Time, pretending to be on Disney Channel:“Hi, I’m a low class citizen, and the only time I see the light of day is at night”

Anthony, sinisterly:“We’re all dead bodies in the end”

Anthony, in the car: “Smells like... g g g g g g g g g g ggrravy”

Miranda:“buT THEY TORE MY spinal cord.... aGAIN!?!?!”

Anthony, walking out of rehearsal:“It smells like a hot dog out here”

Me:“mE”

Anthony, incredulous:“you smell like a hotdog?!?”

Also Anthony:“My uvula is quook”

My friend Maddie, who we all call Marcy bc that was her "character" for the show and it stuck:“Why do you guys know what windex smells like??? Hello???”

Miss Andrew: “You don’t smell windex? What’s wrong with you???”

Anthony, in the car, shouting:“sTEP AWAY FROM THE GOODS”

Anthony, discussing Into the Woods:“I feel like Little Red is sort of like Smeagol”

Me: “There’s a whole family standing in the middle of the road??”

Anthony:“Are they ok?” Me:"They’re not even crossing, they’re just chilling.”

Anthony to me, while in the fake plant section at the craft store: “It’s like you’re trying to get into leaf Narnia”

Miranda to me: “You look like the Kool Aid Man”

Anthony, to me:“Go onto stage like ‘OoOh yEaH”

Anthony, to the tune of one of he songs:“Reeeedd Robin, Yum!”

Miranda, dramatically crossing her legs:“I’m a fucking queen” *mouth pops*

Miranda calling after me on my way out the door:“Wait I’ve gotta tell you a secret “ *whispers in one ear* “the snack that smiles back” * in other ear* “goldfish”

Me, singing:“Someone is returning”

Miranda:“the demons in my house when I’m coming home”

Miranda, in a whisper:“Mary and Bert look like they’re gonna fight”

Anthony, in the car: “No one is alone.. that’s kinda scary”

Anthony:“When I was young, I ate people”

Miranda:“crispy”

Miranda, in the car after a long rehearsal, exhausted:“Can we play some tunes? I don’t want some hard tunes tho, I want gentle tunes”

I honestly don't know who this was, probably Anthony:“Why are you discriminating against whales?”

Miranda, with jazz hands:“Just a spoonful of... pizazz!”

Miranda, a few minutes later:“Just a spoonful of soot helps the depression go down”

Miranda:“What’s the month after January?”

Me, sister struggling:*counts on fingers* “October, November, December, January, feBRUARY”

Anthony,:“Doesn’t it smell like cat food? Oh no that’s McDonalds”

Anthony:“You smell like Cheerios.”

Me:“Thanks????”

Mary, standing by the roof set we had:“Bert, you look like a cat”

Bert, on the roof: “meow”

Marcy, working on her character:“I’m doing research... drug research “

Marcy, trying to explain her character to me:“Marcy Tippetome is a drug addict. But she’s addicted to Tylenol”

Bert:“Bloody hell”

Michael:“sTOP THERE ARE CHILDREN “

Bert:“well you’re the one who keeps pretending to shoot people on stage”

Anthony, singing:“Someone smells like celery!!!!”

Anthony, moments later:“So I was in my room and my body collapsed”

Miss Andrew:“In 20 years I’ll be like ‘hey, you owe me a soda kid’”

Michael:“I’ll be dead in 20 years”

Mr. Banks:“All hair is dead”

Miranda:*bad Italian accent* “would you like some rigatoni???”

Anthony:“Spit the alcohol out Marcy”

Miranda, ranting:“The government can leave. I only know... I don’t know English”

Miranda, reenacting the Sound of Music:“Donde es Maria??”

Miranda and Anthony:*speaking in simmish for ten minutes*

Bert:“I’m gonna hiss. Like a cat. Meow.”

Mary:“Bert, I’m done with you. Jump off the rooftop.”

Probably Anthony??? I don't know:“My name is Margaret, and I like cheese”

Me:“Michael who? I only know mILK”

Anthony:“Remember when I asked what century it was?”

Anthony:“There’s blood on my finger”

Miranda, deadpan:“blood is the cure”

Me:“There’s something in your pocket”

Anthony, nonchalantly:“it’s just a chair”

One of the statues:“Ohmigod who’s on your phone screen Anthony?”

Anthony:“I’m gay”

Anthony, staring into the distance:“Death is my cure”

Anthony, moments later:*valley girl accent* “I’m gonna die”

Miranda, disdainfully:“I never had emo phase. I didnt want to associate with tHAT”

Me to Anthony because he had to wear this frog costs and it was skintight: “Dicks out for Mary Poppins”

Anthony, giving Mrs Banks a hug:“Hi mom!”

Mrs. Banks, deadpan:“did I give you the permission to touch me?”

Anthony, after we went to Wendy's:“Oh my gosh there’s a spoon between my legs! I just wanted my phone and I reached down and then... there’s ice cream on my crotch”

Also Anthony:“I was exhaling really intensely the other day and my tongue started flopping around”

My little brother right before tech week:“Dress rehearsal?? More like stress rehearsal”

Anthony:“Marcy put the Tylenol DOWN!”

Miranda:“Noooo, she’s doing cocane”

(I swear we're good children I'm sorry)

The lady who played Queen Victoria, approaching Miranda:“Can you blow into my eye?”

An ensemble member:“Don’t choke me”

Mr. Banks:“I don’t even know you yet”

Miss Lark, handing someone her dog puppet:“Here, hold my bitch”

Literally all of my friends: *simultaneous “it’s poppin”*

Who knows, but now we all say it:“Rest IP”

Anthony, buying frozen yogurt at the mall between shows:“Is chocolate supposed to be crispy??”

Me, dying inside because I thought it would be a good idea to leave my show tights on while we went to the mall:“Oh No tHeReS SorBeT oN mY TigHtS!?!”

Ok backstory: we had this table for Spoonful of Sugar that is supposed to break and then magically repair itself. So it's motor powered, and so far it's been working great. Fun! So the last night of the show arrives. I accidentally sweep the guy playing Robertson Ay because he's on the floor, so we're already dying. Mary goes to fix the table, and it goes as planned, only to revert back to broken a moment later with a bang. I'm breaking character, and trying to keep singing, but I lose it bc out stage manager offstage, sounding completely dead inside, goes:“Well, there goes the table.”

????:“Why is it wet??” Anthony:“Because I salivate”

Michael, on his way out the door on closing night:“Keep it poppin”

(I cried)

Other notable moments:

This girl started crying about cows in the middle of rehearsal bc she loved them so much

The guy who played Mr. Banks did origami and he made me a dragon

The lady playing Mrs Andrew would regularly balance chairs on her chin

I had to pretend to rip a dolls arm off and the second night I actually ripped its arm off oops

One night I forgot to preset said doll, so it didn't have an arm for a full scene

We'd been joking about building a fort in the dressing room for a while so on the last day, we walked in to find Mrs Banks surrounded by chairs. "It's Fort Banks." She said. Someone had blankets in their car and suddenly there was an actual blanket fort in the dressing room

The girl who played the messenger would write letters to Mr Banks to read during the shows. One of them was about robbing a bank, I think??? She gave him her address and we're still waiting for a reply for the final letter

The flying equipment got caught on the lights one rehearsal and Bert almost died

We'd sing Feed the Birds for warm ups sometimes and I'd cry. every. time.

We were in the Disney store, and the Mary Poppins trailer starts playing as we’re buying Mary Poppins shirts, with Mary Poppins shirts already on

[dis-pose-able-blog]

Blue moon- vmin

Note: So hi? I was listening to 4 o'clock and well remembered that it was written based off of Jimin and then I like properly appreciated the lyrics once again because is a beautiful song and well I was like hey, why not write a one-shot based off of it... so I did and I ended up enjoying what I'd written (kind of) and well I wanted to publish it but it's a one-shot and I have no idea where to do so bc I'm too lazy to make a one-shot book :")

anywhore.... here's my one-shot based off of 4 o'clock and spring day! It's unrevised and fresh from my mind's womb! Enjoy!

-- -- -- --

I took a deep breath as the cold clawed its way throughout my body, and released it with the faintest rolling of steam slipping past my lips; the time I was unsure of though the moon was up yet I seemed to be the only soul risen with it.

My fingers numbed with the moonlight breeze, though that letter I wrote so long ago now was still firmly gripped between my fingers, it was for someone - someone I no longer have, I planned to read it to them though missed my chance and I've simply written a long, long letter to the moon. It was merely a corrupted file now for the mood could never equal that whom it was intended for - he shone brighter than the moon; everyone saw that but himself and I vaguely remember him whispering, on one of the last occasions in meeting him, that he was 'nothing more than a small lit candle in a life full of chandeliers' and I felt my face contort in almost anger yet the molten tear that radiated down my cheek, freezing my heart even more, told me all I felt was nothing but sadness toward the boy who'd sold his soul to the moon.

With a gruff weakness I wiped away the tears from my face and stood, allowing my feet to wander; my mind seeming to become confused between itself and the appendages for it began to wonder, tripping up and landing upon a desert - its once beautiful seas draining out through my eyes, washing a mirage of an oasis of happiness upon it whenever someone asks "how are you holding up?" with that condescending rub of the arm and a head tilt with that stupid tone of voice - I hate it!

I was so caught up in my thoughts, the brewing sand-storm halting at the sound of a song. Was it a bird song? That sound? Just simply a nameless bird calling out into the dark? Crying for its baby to fly back into the safe embrace of its delicately crafted fortress of a nest? Or was it you? Was it that voice I'd heard once upon a dream? Could it possibly that voice that brings a red-hot desire to see you once more each step I take this?

I found myself taking another step, one after another - I was running toward that voice, for it was more than just a nameless bird singing; so I followed it into the deep, into the ocean of darkness.

One step, another step. My grip tightening around the paper, the cold numbing being but something I ignored for I longed to see your brightness once again and I found myself stumbling into a park - one from when we were younger, happier... or were you never truly happy?

The sweet melody of your voice took me deeper into the darkness though I still couldn't find you. "Where are you?" My voice cracked and crumbled into the ground beneath my feet. "You?" My heart lurched and fluttered, I was pretty sure for a moment that repetitive thumping of it came to a complete halt upon the sight of you before me, swinging backwards and forwards shaded by the blue of moonlight, humming to yourself a tune of your own and it carried out into the night as if you were a siren calling sailors to their peril.

He's still as ethereal as ever, if not even more so- the way the light cascaded down upon him, he possessed none of his usual traits, however. His tan skin had been bleached into a radiant blue-white and his deep rose lips had been kissed with hues of navy and his once black hair had been stripped into a tincture of chalk white and there was something empty about his once full eyes - he was before me and yet something in him was lost.

"Why are you crying?" he turned to me and asked, though the oceans in his shaded eyes made me wonder too why he was crying - he'd gotten his wish and left. He did this; ran off and followed the stories of children of the moon; like Wendy, Peter and Micheal flying off to Neverland... except for this time he can't fly back. The window had been shut. Locked. Bricked up and he did it to himself.

I shook my head with a frown, running to his now standing figure, embracing him the comforting smell I'd begged my nose to remember hitting me in a strong wave, the welcoming arms and once warm, now cold, cage he'd delicately caught me in causing my heart to burn and shake and my eyes to drain the last of the oceans of my mind and I sobbed into his neck and he into mine.

"Why do you cry?" He repeated through sobs. "You and I are the only ones here - like it used to be - like you wanted! Me and you! So why do you cry?" his muffled cry of pain vibrated against my skin as my breath tried to catch up with me.

"You've been gone too long, Jimin! You left me! I loved you and you left me!" I screamed back, our voices creating a chorus of agony "You left us! I - we needed you and you left!" I tried to collect my shattered self, though the dim moonlight hindered me from putting the house of cards back together.

It remained quiet on his part, words seemingly caught in his throat as I choked out the words I'd been wanting to tell him since the day he left, I shoved the letter into his chest "read it when you miss us" I muttered, seated on another bench, though I hadn't realised we'd moved, I found myself leaning down and resting my head upon his lap, stray tears seeping out of my eyes as his fingers carded through my hair, that tune from earlier arising in his throat, a self-made backing track accompanying his words.

"Tae, I loved you, I did - do, even... Blaming yourself... don't do that. I had my reasons but you were not one of them i -"

"So what were they, Jimin?" I interjected, earning a flick to the forehead.

"Don't interrupt me, I'm older than you remember" we both half chuckled, a bittersweet exchange, however, it was refreshing - hearing his laugh for the first time, in person, after almost two years was beautiful. It was the only sound I could never get tired of and was something I never wanted him to stop doing. "Some things are best left unsaid, I had reasons and only I am to blame for my actions, don't let your heart freeze over, it's far too beautiful for that."

"So was yours and yet... you destroyed it. You did this, Jimin alas other people were also to hold accountable! You can't always blame yourself for the things that go wrong" I sighed, playing with the hand he'd rested upon my stomach "you put so much pressure upon yourself - destroy your mind with a self-made poison and it does nothing but brew trouble! You think I didn't notice how certain comments affected you, you think I didn't understand - that I'd reject you if you told me everything you felt, you thought that by putting on a brave facade that those thoughts, comments, judgments were hidden... well, they weren't! Not from me anyway! I knew it all! I should've helped you!" I gritted out through my teeth, looking up at him and sighing when I saw that lopsided half smiled he'd do and my eyes watered yet again, my mouth opening to speak yet again, though he silenced me with a small kiss - a tiny peck, a gesture that was reassuring yes though it seemed alien it'd been that long; my heart abducted and replaced with butterflies and fireworks just like it had the first time we kissed. He began to stroke my head again, causing me to shut my eyes and bask in the beauty and comfort brought to me under the blue the light of the moon shaded me with.

"I miss you." He started, his voice soft and broken "I didn't want to hurt you but I did, I came to apologise - to ease the pain, I came to erase the hurt and anger, to find closure and let go and yet I can't really let you go yet, Tae" he whispered "do you hate me for it? Would you rather forget my existence for leaving?" I stopped playing with his hand and looked to him.

"Yeah, I hate you; you left me, Jimin." I scoffed "But, the two years you've been gone? I've never stopped thinking about you and I don't plan to." I continued to play with his hand before linking them together "other people drove you into leaving-"

"Tae, it was my decision." He frowned, squeezing my hand "you keep passing blame and -"

"Because, Jimin! It hurts less than to blame you! Every day I want to see you, speak to you, you're my best friend, yet you're not there, you're gone and there's a hole in my entire existence now that you've gone and blaming you only seems to put salt on the wound and not only does it hurts but it makes me bitter toward you" my voice softened, looking to the man so our eyes were locked "and I can't bring myself to hate someone like you, Jimin. You're too... Jimin!"

There was an empty laughter, one that resonated in my heart, he sounded so pained, so broken that I recalled him using the same one just before he died. Looking up to the stars, he let out a breath before running his hands through my hair yet again, that tune from earlier bubbling up through his throat, this time in words, and out into the sky, a lullaby to the moon, a lullaby to me, a warning of the close coming pass of dawn.

You know it all, you're my best friend.

The sun will rise again;

no darkness, no season can last forever.

And, once the moon had fallen to sleep and the sun rose to suffocate my being, I sat up with a strangled, cold cry clawing throughout my body upon this dusty bench in a park somewhere just beside the city, the blue shade that'd been cast over me disappearing "J-Ji-Jimin! Please - don't leave me! Don't leave me again!" I said, trying to grab onto the soft hand stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry." It took one disgustingly warm ray of sunlight to wipe out the silhouette of the moon child before me, one final injection of UV rays to strip me of my Jimin once again.

[survivor-halsingland]

Ep. 1: "There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance." - Amy

Amy

Initial reaction of cast reveal: I’m toast But for real this can go a couple of ways for me, none of which have me seeing myself make merge lol. I’m either going to be a very early boot here or be nice and active enough to solidify a place for a while. Lots of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Hopefully the people familiar with me won’t want to immediately vote me out. I have already mentioned to Derrick that I played with DeNara before, so hopefully we can bond over that and it not be used against me. I have explicitly asked Jared to not exclusively lie to me this go haha but we both said we were more playing for the other half of our duos and just agreed to do it. I was excited to see Blue on my tribe and I also know Leanne, and have already had a good chat with Klied - but his name does have “lie” in it 👀. Honestly I want to do a quick portion of divide and conquer, I planned on chilling in a pool tomorrow and going to drag bingo with Ava. But no one has solidly chosen anything so they are really about to force me to be tribe leader and sort this out. Things I look forward to: vibes, chatting with cool people, meeting people, twists, and drama Things I will not be doing: sitting on hours and hours of video calls. Not my style. But I know several people in this game love it. Let the good times roll y’all

Kenneth

HERE WE GO AGAIN! i'm fresh off of ingary, but jay has magic powers and pulled me in to another season of a potential clown fiesta <3 but seriously, this already seems a lot more enticing and spicy because of the theme in itself and how the challenges and idol hunt are structured so i am very excited to play :) i learned a lot about my last game and i will improve on it (hopefully) by taking more risks and plays that WILL be appreciated by the jury, and not be overly attached to people, which would result to tunnel vision. the first challenges are already pretty great, and i cannot wait to play this game. TO WIN! hehe >:)destiny i’m super confused about a lot of stuff tbh but everyone on my tribe is so nice and welcoming and i’m sure i’ll get the hang of it all soon :) i’m excited to be playing and just hoping i don’t screw things up for my tribe :/

AmyThis tribe is exhausting. Challenges where I need to send a photo back quickly really hate me. My phone took like a minute to actually send the photo, but Waldo went well. Except I started in the bottom right looking with vertical transects and Waldo was hiding in the bottom left 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Woulda been 30 seconds had I started over there. But I’m already expecting tribal so I’m just hoping I wasn’t the worst portion of our challenges haha!

Leanne

Not very much to share so far. Some people on this tribe are much bigger talkers than others, Jared, Derrick, Klied, and Amy. It’s been harder to get Convo from Jesse and Blue, and I’ve barely heard from Josh or Aubree. I wonder if other people have had the same experience. Haven’t dared try game talk with anyone yet. Hoping I’m not behind, but it’s only day 2 right? Maybe I’ll try to put some feelers out with Amy. Maybe I’ll tell her about some things in the idol hunt and see if she’ll give me anything in return, maybe try to get a partnership going. I’m glad she’s on my tribe, but also a little bit scared because I’ve seen exactly how good she is. Aside from that, the person I feel best about right now is Derrick. We’ve had some good chats and seem to connect well. Hope he feels the same way. And Moth. I’m especially nervous about them. When we played before we didn’t exactly hit it off, but I think we’re both… trying. I hope we can have a new start this time, a new story. And from what I know of them they are a very loyal allies so, here’s hoping. Also happy to see Sarah here, and my yinzer JG. Maybe he and my dad can bond over that? And that’s all I’ve got so far. God I hope I did enough in the challenge today. *whines* I don’t wanna go to tribal first!

Jared

Don't mind me making a confessional before the game even starts, call me a game changer. https://youtu.be/JFOxzamkcH8

Jared

Not one, but two, confessionals before the game even begins. Sorry not sorry! https://youtu.be/SETx-0LoI9E

Shawn

Well, things are going good so far! I think anyway. Although I like everyone on my team, I do have to say it's odd playing with someone whose older than my father is, Frank. Usually I like to take charge in games like this, I like to be the leader. Yet, with Frank, it's difficult because he's so much older, I feel like I'm a little kid around him. I don't wanna tell him what to do, because I don't wanna be disrespectful? I'm so excited so far though, absolutely loving the challenge and how we get to pick! Im not that bright so I'm happy I can do creative stuff.

Aubree

This is my first BvW confession! Idk about the other tribe, but the Mysa Tribe is super chill. Most of the conversations yesterday consisted of everyone saying hi and that they were busy and would be active later. Day 2 and the activity level is still the same, which is kind of a relief since I am much more of an introvert. I have been trying to be the first to reach out to people since I feel that is something I have struggled with in past ORGs I’ve played in. I’m usually the reserved/silently-strategic player, but I’m going to try and be more proactive for this game. Ive talked to Klied, Jared, Amy and Leanne a decent amount and have enjoyed our conversations. I know of Amy due to the games she has played with Sarah, so I am hoping that works in my favor. Amy did say that Sarah voted her out in the first game they played in, so that could work one of two ways for my game… like if it came down to a vote between me or Sarah later on?? but maybe it is too soon to think that far ahead? Lol Even though I’m an Art Teacher I chose to steer away from the Creative part to our first challenge. Tbh I’m so burnt out irl when it comes to being creative due to my job, so I’m okay with taking a step back from the creative challenges for now. I’ve enjoyed being a part of the Scavenger Hunt, even though it was a bit harder than expected. I was so stoked to have a Starry Night print, but since it wasn’t real it didn’t count… Like who the heck has a REAL VAN GOGH?? (Or quick access to one) LOL As much as I would LOVEEE to have an original painting, that teacher salary-bracket doesn’t allow for that!! Lol I haven’t had anyone directly ask to me to be in an alliance with them… so that is - interesting? I’m used to the last two games I played where it felt like everything was very paced. Now, It’s either A) everyone is just chillin’ and not wanting to rush things or B) bonds HAVE already started to form but I’m not a part of them? I guess things will spend up more after the first challenge is over and we see where our strengths and weaknesses are in the tribe. Until then! - Aubree

Moth

Hi!! I’m back again and playing with someone I know. I actually happen to be on call with Destiny as I type this but like- were vibing And also once again I’m starting off on the wrong foot, not at home when the game starts.

Moth

I don’t trust Jared Straight up And I feel like that’s fair- Twice I’ve been voted out for my connections to Kyoshi island and it’s really fucking frustrating- Jared apologized and sounded sincere but idk I trust people too easily.. Brayden, Denara, and Leanne are also all in this game All people I’ve played with Leanne I don’t trust right off the bat. I tried that before but like- that didn’t work for me. I just want to at least make it to the merge

Frank

Having fun, learning as I get going. Truly impressed by the comraderi among people whom I've never met. Old dogs, new tricks, this is cool.

Klied

The game is going pretty well so far! Everyone has been really nice and supportive of one another. I hope this tribe dynamic continues for the next rounds of the game! :>

Moth

I fucked it up I genuinely feel really bad because everyone’s so confident in me- And I’m totally going to be a target now

Moth

Ohhhhh thank god Thank god because I was absolutely going to be on the chopping block if we lost I don’t want to be first out That being said

I don’t want Destiny to be first out either

Shawn

I'm not very happy tonight with how things went. I truly believe the other team deserved the win, the video was creative and a lot of effort was put into it! I think it was a great thing. But I disappointed that we lost so many of the challenges. I'm also getting annoyed that people are being present on the chat. I feel like it's me and another tribe member that is putting in all the work. Not impressed, but whatever. I just really hope I don't get voted off tomorrow.

Kenneth

welp i bombed the where's waldo challenge and my team lost by a hair in the riddles challenge because of an advantage so rip. i really hope i don't get voted off first because i severely underperformed in the challenge akjdnsajkndkjsnd i'd be really disappointed in myself :/

Amy

Shocked. Absolutely shocked we aren't headed to tribal lol. And here I thought my 4 minutes on Waldo was too slow but it was enough. Honestly we are lucky Blue's quit disadvantage was only what it was bc they quit after 30 minutes apparently. All these advantages at play! And I'm sitting here with a disadvantage. I think I'm clearly doing the idol hunt wrong 😆 all I have is a disadvantage from poison feast food and a chipmunk named Wadsworth in my pocket. Based on how little anyone is speaking I was certain we'd be going to tribal hands down no question. So I am very, very happy we avoided it in the end. I think it would have been between Jessie and Josh though bc they aren't active. I would have voted Jessie bc Josh did the video even after saying he didn't actually want to do the creative part so that's major props to him in my book! I am very curious as to who the other tribe is going to vote off in the end. I hope it's no one I want to make it far. Oh basically I know I'm probably not making merge so I'm trying to align things to get certain people farther and get other people out. I'm rooting for a newbie to take it. Anyway woo day off and I won't be first boot. Fingers crossed it's not Ava. I wouldn't be surprised if she was targeted for her association with me. Love this game! Love this cast! Love the idol hunt! The reward challenge was the most fun bc Ava and I were incredibly intoxicated after Drag Bingo and we did better each time! The last one we went "office" and "turnip" and literally bust out laughing and both said "Nate". I would like to personally apologize to Ellie for having to witness that nonsense. Thank you to everyone! Oh one last thing. I did not want to work with jared at all but it looks like I am going to be forced to do so. I think I have to put trust in Jared and in Leanne who has voted me out of two games prior 😆 but that's me always just bonding most with the people who are active and want to talk to me.

Amy

There's 100% going to be a Canada alliance.

Aubree

Who won the first challenge?? MYSA DID! Woot woot! Even though Jared, Jessie and I didn’t win the Scavenger Hunt portion after the advantages were added in - we did win as far as how many total objects were found, so I’m pretty proud about that! To top it off Sarah and I won the Reward Challenge!!!! We both get 3 stat points to add to our Idol Hunt… which I have yet to do… I should probably do that tomorrow O_o

Avat

hings are going well i think!!! i've had a lot of fun and i sorta vibe with everyone so far on the tribe. i'm really hyped and fingers crossed we do well. i've been sorta inactive with my challenge bc of work but i'm doing what i can for now. more to come soon

DeNara

Well this is my first confessional of the game and oh my is this going to be an interesting game. Initial impressions of my tribe...... Sarah +Jodi- frenemies because they are so good at survivor Frank- I really like him. He seems like a cool dude Kenneth- Seems cool, I may want to work with him, but he seems to be playing harder than he should so early Brayden- Didn't get the best first impression, but that could change Shawn- Super quiet, then they started chatting so that helped Ava, J.G., Destiny- Really inactive so I don't really know- potential first vote I want to work with Sarah, Frank and maybe Kenneth. Jodi would be good to work with although who knows what she is thinking. Everyone else I will stay open to working with, but really don't care too much as of yet.

DeNara

The first challenge was weird because everyone just took their roles and stopped talking. I HATE QUIET. Period. The creative challenge on my tribe wasn't super creative imo, but they tried. I didn't help in the scavenger hunt as much as I wanted too so that sucks, but at least we won that part so that looks good. I am so excited for this idol hunt! It is amazing! Props to the hosts! WE LOST, DAMMIT. At least Derrick won't be the first boot. I hope I am not either or HE WILL NOT STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT AND I WILL DIE.

DeNara

Well it is chaos now. Shawn has made an alliance with Sarah, Kenneth, and myself. I like the safety of that. Jodi, Sarah and myself also made a Subrosa alliance (we all knew that would happen) and I feel like this will keep me safe for a while at least. Both Sarah and Jodi want to work with Brayden and potentially Kenneth so we may make an alliance of 5 with them- but that also means Sarah and I would have to talk to Kenneth about not telling Jodi about the other alliance and that could be very risky early on.... hmmm idk about that. Also, Frank is my dude. I hope he stays. I think I am going to lean towards J.G. or Destiny.

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQ

Kenneth

I am now in 2 alliances: one with denara, sarah, and shawn, and another one with ava and brayden! i feel good about both alliances, with the first one feeling solid and loyal (for now), and the second one for the long term! i feel very solid about sarah and denara, i feel like i can last long with them as my good allies. jodi's a tricky one, because i know she's a damn good player, but it's better to keep her on my side for now until an opportune time to make a move (and i actually really like talking to her!).

Jared

me: i'm gonna try to make this concise also me: 8 minutes on the very first episode where i'm not even going to tribal oh boy

Brayden

https://youtu.be/reALs2hizjk hey everyone I'm here

DeNara

So now I am in a bunch of alliances. I guided Kenneth to make an alliance chat with Sarah and me to tell us to keep our alliances with 1. Shawn and 2. Brayden and Jodi a secret. Insert evil laugh here lol. So all together right now I should have Sarah, Jodi, Kenneth, Brayden, Shawn and Frank backing me, so I shouldn't be first boot. It sounds like we are going for Destiny because they aren't very active, which was the name Kenneth threw out first so he is getting what he wants without upsetting me.

Ava

so so so bummed about going to tribal i thought we had it in the bag especially with our advantages but alas... i formed an alliance with brayden and kenneth which i'm super obsessed with i really like both of them - hopefully this means safety for tomorrow. i hate working two jobs and the week after next ill be working just one which is just so fucking sweet fingers crossed i can make it that long in this game. anyway that's all for now

Jodi

I'm so happy to be back. This time, I promise to play a chill Jodi game as I said in my intro, and I want to relax and enjoy this twist of a season. Jared and I are thrilled to play our second season together in the actual format of BvW, and we will be playing our own games. So far, I'm glad to have Denara, Sarah, Brayden on my tribe, as we all know each other but never played before (except Brayden). I want to keep an open mind and play fluidly. Kenneth told Brayden within 10 mins of the game starting that he was scared of me, but I hope I can gain the trust of people and not play as flashy as people remember me for. Looking forward to the connections I make!

Jodi

I promised y'all a chill Jodi game and here i am, delivering it. I think. DeNara and Sarah immediately made the "The Best of SubRosa" chat because obviously that was bound to happen, but additionally, the 3 of us are in an alliance with Brayden and Kenneth called "the clock" (because of our time zones ahahahaha). This game's dynamic is so different because even though we hate going to tribal, it also means that our loved ones are safe from tribal, which sometimes, could be better. I hope Jared is doing good on the other side. Obviously I trust Sarah and DeNara but I also know Sarah will cut my throat when it needs to happen, even if she gonna be crying while doing it, so I'll just...not be blinded by that. I trust Brayden 100%, Kenneth calling me scary is not great but I guess he rather be with me than against me, for now. Y'all Ingary kids what did you say about me??? LMAOO ♥️ I did ask him why he didn't cause ruckus at 5 and whip out the superidol and he said "tunnel vision". Hey that's two of us I guess!

Sarah

https://youtu.be/RzlLHyHZguQJessie So I’m still working on making like connections and stuff but we won the first challenge so no tribal which is a very good thing . ❤️ I’m enjoying this interactive scavenger hunt and I’m totally not trying to pull a Danni from Midsommar lol.

Brayden

hey guys im in a 5 person alliance rn with jodi sarah denara and kenneth and i feel pretty good and excited bc i think ill win this whole game but sadly destiny is prob leaving tonight <\3

Derrick

First challenge done. We rocked it! I don't really have any sort of alliance at this point but I seem to be getting along with everyone. Josh didn't seem to put too much effort into our creative set up but it still worked out OK. It was unfortunate I was on my trip at the time as I could have done so much more with. I think as long as we support eachother we can rock every challenge that comes our way!joshIM SOO HAPPY WE WON! our tribe seems to be like friendly but i havent made any alliances i think so idk if im in a good spot if we lose a challenge but we didnt this time so🙃ShawnEveryone in the tribe is messaging about Destiny, and that is who everyone is thinking of voting off. I'm still thinking of voting Frank off, and I think that's who I'm going for. He's not good at technology, and this whole game is about technology! We lost the creative challenge because all we could do with him was write! Still, everyone thinks because Destiny isn't very active she should be the one to go. I'm not sure what I want to do. JGOh hey! Here we are round one. I feel so out of it playing this game. For the first time in a while, I barely know any of the other players. Which is refreshing and tough. I also feel like my social game is kind of lacking but that is kind of my brand for round 1. I have had some great one on one conversations with DeNara, Jodi, and Sarah. I've talked to Brayden and Kenneth as well a little bit less than the first three. Shawn and Ava, barely. Frank and Destiny not at all. The vote should be Destiny since we sadly lost. Which works for me. I feel the closest with DeNara and Sarah. Really hoping I can start to get my footing. If we were to lose again, Frank would probably go but I don't wanna put myself in the line of fire again. Well here's hoping things improve. Hopefully, I'm not blindsided. Here we go.blueMy tribe seems pretty cool so far, everyone is nice and seems pretty active so thats nice. Shawns going to tribal so I hope theyre gonna be safe :(((DeNara As far as I know, the vote is going to be Destiny. I feel bad for them for not getting the chance to play, and I feel really bad for Moth, they always have the worst luck in ORGs. That being said I sure hope nothing crazy happens tonight or I will cry 100% Tribal, here I come...AubreeThere is hardly any game talk (at least from where I’m standing), so I may start trying to get a feel of where people are at by asking some game-related questions in the tribe chat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the personal chit-chats… BUT I’m also feeling a bit empty-handed as far as knowing everyone’s game motives. Maybe I’m being too bold… idk. I’m not normally the one to standout in ORGs, so hopefully my tribe doesn’t take this as me prying… even though I guess I kinda am?? 😬 “Oof look at me being all dangerous and shit!” 😤🤘🏼😂blueSO here are more detailed thoughts on my tribe. Amy of course is a queen and a legend and we've played together before and have a good rapport. Leanne is so kind and so funny, and I would be super down for working with her. Jared is SO nice I get really good vibes and really enjoy talking to him. Aubree is also very nice and seems genuinely interested in my irrelevant stories 10/10 good vibes. Moth is dope as expected and turns out we have a lot of the same interests ie. witcher and the mcelroys very fun. The rest are yet to be determined.AmyI would like to start out by saying that Brayden's video during their tribal almost made me seasick thanks buddy. So today was a DAY. It was a day off and like I had a weird day at work lol 😆 and then I remembered there was the task of talking to people who h i slacked on today whoops sorry. But for half these people idk if they even noticed bc my tribe is so quiet. Did I already say I tried asking Jessie what their favorite berry was? Like that's how exhausting conversation has been most all around. I think I'm talking to Leanne, Derrick, and Jared the most. I am begging for bygones to be bygones. But anyway I was trying to do a little of the hunt throughout the day bc after seeing

all those advantages last go I was SHOCKED. Then at the end of work I made it to thevpart where I was talking to the grumpy sad flower crown man and after falling on my weak ass on a ladder I picked the lock with a bobbypin and charisma's him to make me a flower crown which got me to the maypole which had me do a scavenger hunt and I got an idol. Writing this all out is absolutely hilarious. But yeah I have an idolllllllllllllllllllll which I don't want to use anytime soon. But I have a feeling I'm going to struggle to make merge. Anyway I got this idol like directly after the other tribe finishing tribal and I love a funny timing like that. I'm glad Ava survived weee! And wow they have some very vocal tribe members haha I'm sure Denara and Jodi are working together which tracks bc I've been closest to both of them individually in prior games early on. Curious if it will stick. So next was rock paper scissors for which I have a 10% disadvantage which apparently applies to the overall tribe score ☠️ . I won my game against Brayden who was at seemingly a raging Big Brother watch party. Sorry buddy. But we've been chatting like he asked how josh was and I said Josh is great and really stepped up to the plate for the creative challenge even though it wasn't what he wanted and also he loves tom holland so I instantly trust him. Then he said everyone likes ava bc she's just so cool and yes I get it I am personally intimidated by how cool Ava is and I have to be around that cool level every day honestly I don't know why she talks to me but she's a badass. Anyyywayyyy he doesn't seem keen on actually talking game and I need to figure out if I need to just tell my tribe I have a disadvantage rn or be like what the fuck the other tribe is so mean to give me a disadvantage 😭 Anyway excited to explore the hunt some more and this game is so fun. If we go to tribal I think Jessie is most at risk tbh. Okay that's all bye ❤️

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

20 - You’re Finally Mine

This chapters songs:

I Follow You; Melody's Echo Chamber

Hot Rod; Dayglow

My Jinji; Sunset Rollarcoaster

- Y. L. Perspective

I let out a low groan, attempting to stretch out my arms and legs. But when I touched Koshi's, I remember that we were latched onto each other. Throughout the night, I hadn't imagined that sleeping with him would be so peaceful. His gentle hands holding me against him, the way a simple hum would run vibrations throughout his chest, and best of all: being able to look at such a lovely face to wake up to.

He pays my back gently, followed by his gentle voice. "Y/n? Are you awake?"

I open my eyes slightly to peek at him. A very bright sun ray showered his grey hair and fair skin. "Hm? Yes, I am now." Shoving my face back into his chest, I sigh. "What time is it?"

"It's ten. I'm sorry for waking you, but Isao is wondering if you want breakfast," Koshi explains briefly.

I blink a few times to refresh my mind, nodding slightly. Was his brother serious about making our food? That was something I hadn't experienced in a while. I usually made things for myself or ate leftovers for breakfast.

After Koshi dismisses his little brother, he proceeded to pat my back as if I were falling back asleep. "How did you sleep? I hope I wasn't bothering you all night," he asks me.

"Pretty good. I was very comfortable." A smile appeared on my face without any effort. I trail my fingers across his collarbone under his t-shirt, thankful that my first night with Koshi was as calming as sleeping through the rain. "What about you?"

I was hoping that I hadn't kicked him or done something embarrassing while I was asleep. The risk was a high percentage, especially since I'd spent the night mostly laying on his chest.

But Koshi didn't say much. He only gave me a very warning smile and tightened his hands upon my waist, maneuvering closer towards me. Curious yet scared of what he would do, I grew frantic, feeling my face heat up while he did so. And finally, he closed his eyes, brushing his lips against mine, before kissing me gently.

My hands rushed up to his face as my shoulders stiffened. Such a sudden action made my heart beat out of its chest, I was sure he could hear it.

Unfortunately, he ended our kiss after a few seconds, pulling away from me slightly.

"So, I'm guessing that's a yes?" I manage to let out a few words in my tired voice. Koshi nods, sitting up from his spot.

That was the first time I'd woken up in his bed while lying next to him. And boy, did I cherish that moment as if it were impossible to forget.

-

"Good morning, Ms. L/n," Isao chimes as Koshi and I walk into the kitchen with our zombie-like behaviors.

Nonetheless, I smile at the boy, happy to be seeing his familiar face. I was beginning to grow on him and his playful personality. I bow and greet him a good morning as well, before Koshi bumps his hip into mine, laying a hand on my back. "Y/n, you don't have to bow every time you see them." He says to me, making me shoot up to stand straight.

"Uh, sorry! I guess it's just an impulse I do to people," I explain myself, followed by Isao's sweet laughter.

"That's alright! I was just about done," he says, placing a small piece of fish onto a pile of a couple of other pieces. Next to the grill pan was some white rice and a pot of miso soup.

The smell fills my nose and I begin to build up my appetite. "Oh, okay! Would you like me to get started on some tea?" I hurry to the other side of the kitchen and attempt to search for a pot. But of course, Koshi stands there with one in his large hands, grinning at me.

"You're our guest, Ms. L/n! Please, sit." Isao carries the plate of rice and fish to the table, accompanied by a few bowls of miso soup. I hadn't been welcomed with such a normal morning breakfast in so long. Not even my friends' parents treated me like this. But mostly because we were all family to each other.

I could only hope that I didn't look too bad. I had changed into some pajama pants and a smaller shirt so I wouldn't look like a homeless man walking around such a nice house. But freshening up my hair, breath, and face could only do so much. As for Koshi, he still looked as beautiful as ever in the mornings.

I make myself comfortable in the same chair I'd say in the previous night, waiting for Koshi and Isao to join me. After they did, I said my thanks, and we began to eat our breakfast.

To my surprise, Isao wasn't half bad at making food. In fact, it was very delicious. Mostly because I hadn't had such a good breakfast meal in what felt like a million years.

"So!" Isao cleared his throat with a gulp of green tea.

"How did you love birds sleep?"

The boy clapped his hands enthusiastically. The nickname made me cringe on the inside, but I simply chuckled lightly and shrugged my shoulders. "Pretty good. You guys have such a lovely home," I comment, replied with a nod from Isao.

"Yeah, yeah. So your band; are you guys popular and all? Sorry, I know that probably isn't what you might want to talk about, but I'm interested in Koshi's new girlfriend," he says, followed by one of Koshi's passive-aggressive throat clearings.

I eye both of them, smiling awkwardly while swallowing my food. "Uhm, it's okay. We're fairly known by a few people at school and some family. Our discography is small since we mostly produce covers or requests we receive from our amount of fans."

It was obvious that Isao was very excited about having a musician in his house. I was only worried that Koshi would grow tired of talking about music. So, I take the wheel of questions and begin my mission to find out more about his family.

"What about you? Are you interested in any sports or art hobbies?" I ask, wiping my hands on one of the small towelettes he gave me earlier.

Isao nods. "Kind of! I like messing around with the drums now and then. But I mostly did a lot of volleyball back in middle school."

I hadn't thought about how old Isao might have been. Curious, I ask, "wait—how old are you? I didn't know you were in high school."

Little did I know that it wasn't something Koshi and Isao weren't up to talk about that subject, for they glanced at each other with surprised looks. "Uh...I should be starting in-person high school after the summer break. Right now, I've been doing homeschooling."

"Oh..that must be nice!" I attempt to lighten the mood a bit. "Are you excited? You get to experience a lot of new and fun things in high school. I'm positive you'll find something you like. Do you plan on going to Karasuno or...?"

"Yeah, I do. I only wish Koshi could have been a second year so we could be closer together!"

The mentioned man coughs while drinking his tea, wiping it soon after. "Uhm, don't worry. I have a couple of people who'll be looking out for you." I assumed he was talking about the volleyball team. Isao would no doubt fit in with those guys.

"You said that you're going to the states after graduation. Is that true?" The sudden question makes both Koshi and me choke on our rice. The only time that I would ever discuss the matter was with my friends. I was always afraid that talking about it in front of him would cause problems between us.

Noticing I grew uncomfortable, Koshi interrupts with yet another question. "Would you like to come with me to Y/n's concert? It's not much of a concert...more of a competition for bands. But if it's okay with her, I could take you with me. I know we'd both love to see her perform live, right?"

Isao practically jumps at the statement. "Wow—really?! Of course! Can we go, Ms. L/n?" He looks at me with big puppy eyes in excitement. How could I have said no?

Proud, I nod to the boy. "Sure thing. But you've gotta be careful in the crowds. There will be lots of people there."

The rest of breakfast was used as a way for Isao and I to get to know each other. Though they came from the same mother and father, Koshi and he were two very different people. It could have been that they got different types of acknowledgment from their parents, or they coped with their mother in different ways. He sure seemed like a rowdy boy. Very charismatic, curious, and a top-notch smart ass.

Koshi and I helped tidy up the kitchen, he notified us he would be going over to a friend's house. I was only to assume that this friend was like family to him, for Koshi dismissed him as if it were nothing. After that, we decided to begin getting ready for the training camp.

-

A/n: If you come across messages from the guys that sound cringe it's only because I'm trying to make them sound realistic aka what they would actually text like😭

Crow crew

Daichi

Hope everyone is heading to the gym soon

Let's try not to give Takeda a hard time this weekend. He's been treating us very kindly these past few weeks.

Tanaka

Yeah man he got us a really cool new manager

haha thanks

Asahi

Who's ####

Tanaka

I just said

Really cool new manager

Aka Sugas gf

Koshi

Istg

Noya

R u serious my brother😕

So you just take every girl you see now

Asahi

Suga didn't tell me that:0

Koshi

The way we haven't even been together for 24 hours and you somehow managed to figure it out

Tanaka

WAIT IT IS TRUE-

Daichi

This is literally supposed to be a group

chat meant for volleyball only

Leave Koshi's personal life alone and mind your own business guys

Noya

Don't be so uptight 🗣

Y/n I thought you liked me 💔

What about all that stuff you told me under the cherry blossom tree

Daichi

Noya oh my god

Asahi

Wow, this escalated!!

Daichi

Where are you guys, heading to the school hopefully?

Koshi

Y/n and I just left the house

Is Kiyoko there yet guys

Kiyoko

Almost :))

Meet me in the girl's locker room

Noya

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT

Tanaka

WH

What lmao

Tanaka

YOU SUMMONED HER

Noya

YEAH SHOW US YOUR WAYS DARK LORD

Bc I'm god( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ennoshita

Hey everyone

At the gym👌🏻

Yamaguchi

Good afternoon!!🌞

THE EMOJI WXBISJS

Yamaguchi

SHSHSHS

Tsukishima

it's gay

Noya

You're gay

Tsukishima

Wtf lmao no I'm not shut up

Tanaka

You've triggered something

Daichi

Stop it guys

Hinata

OMG I WOKE UP LATE

Koshi

Uhh

Try to get to the gym fast

Asahi

Hey you shouldn't text and drive

Tanaka

Especially when you got your girl in the passenger seat🤨

Koshi

Don't worry guys it's me

[image of you and Koshi in the car]

Kageyama

who's dirivng

Yamaguchi

Driving* and Koshi is obviously driving in the picture🙄

Kageyama

Im talk shout the training camp

Daichi

Takeda, he's taking his van like always

Hinata

CAN WE BRING SNACKS PLEASE???

Daichi

Yes but not to eat in the car bc I don't wanna cause Takeda any issues with having to clean it

###-###-####

That's fine with me!! Hinata can bring snacks( ◠‿◠ )

Is that Takeda Senseis number

Tanaka

Yes

Koshi

Pls try not to make a big deal of Y/n and I

Noya

Why wouldn't we💀

it's not even that huge + I'm sure you guys don't care that much

Tsukishima

Yeah I don't

Tanaka

Cmon noya that's one of kiyokos best friends we can't be mean😥

Noya

SHEEESH alr see you guys soon

—

- K. S. Perspective

"...are you telling me that she's coming with us?" I look at Daichi with a very serious face, afraid of what he would respond with.

I thought it was flattering that Eclair wanted to spend her afternoons at volleyball practice with the team. But was it appropriate to have her come with us to the weekend training camp?

Daichi sighed. "Well, she did ask Takeda and I beforehand and we didn't have it in us to tell her no. Besides, she is a big help to us. She's been doing a lot more than talk to the second years as of recently. Don't you think you're worrying too much about it? I'm sure she won't make a move on you again, especially now that you've got a girlfriend."

"She doesn't know that, dammit." I cross my arms and sink into my seat. I knew that she wouldn't take the news lightly when she found out. If I were lucky, she would last her entire stay in Japan without knowing.

He sighs again, adjusting himself in the seat. "Koushi, just fall asleep. We'll be there in only an hour."

It didn't hurt me that Daichi didn't want to talk about Eclair. She was draining, after all. I prayed that she wouldn't be causing issues during this weekend. The last thing I needed was another inconvenience.

Instead of sitting with Kiyoko the way she usually did, she had to sit alone. Eclair insisted she take her spot next to Kiyoko, but Y/n didn't want to make a big deal of it.

As the bus began driving off into the evening, I look over to the girl, observing her tired eyes as they wander over the valleys outside. Did she mind being alone? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted more than anything to sneak over to her seat when no one was looking. To have her head rest nicely on my shoulder.

'Would anyone even notice if I were gone?' I think to myself, checking if my best friend was still awake. Sure enough, he was dozing off against the window, giving me an open spot to sneak up next to her.

Careful not to be noticed by Takeda or any other volleyball members, I crouch over to the seat in front of mine. Y/n looks over in a flash, taking both her earphones out. "Kou, what are you doing? Are you allowed to sit next to me?" She whispers to me before the two of us lock eyes.

"I have no clue, but you look tired," I say to her as she closes her eyes and smiles gently. The orange-colored sunlight showered down on her beautiful features, making my heart melt right there in the moment. Desperate to feel her, I bump her head with my shoulder, offering her a personal pillow. She happily accepts and fits right between my left collar bone, making me beam with joy. I pay close attention to her small flinch when I began to ever so gently squeeze her thigh lovingly. Dear Y/n was finally all mine and no one else's, finally. Of course, I knew she belonged to herself and had personal boundaries that I wouldn't dare cross. She was an independent and reluctant girl after all. But my girl. One I would love forever and ever.

-

Yes I still added fluff at the end what abt it😾

Ily pls note and comment I read every single comment you guys give me and it makes me seriously so happy

- estrxlar