#bc this is my first summer in YEARS not binding
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╰─▸ ❝ 𝐇𝐄’𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 ( 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄 ). ❞ ──── 𝐟𝐭. 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀.
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: His eyes are hooded, dark with a venomous lust that used to frighten you — but you aren’t the shy lamb sent to slaughter that you once were, are you?
𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦: jujutsu kaisen | 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: ryomen sukuna/f!reader | 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: nsfw ; minors dni | 𝐰/𝐜: 3.49k.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: concubine reader, demon king sukuna, sacrificial lamb x vicious monster trope, fem reader, manipulative reader, canon-typical violence, background character death, reader got a death grip on sukuna w the pussy ngl, breeding kink, fingering, sukuna has two cocks bc duh?, throne sex, cowgirl, no condoms, double penetration, accidental voyeurism, minor exhibitionism, creampies, biting, kissing, pregnancy mentions, murder, blood, gore, didn’t think i’d have to say this verbatim ( but after wasted summer ig i must ) but reader isn’t a good person.
𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐬: he is so so mean and yet … here i am wanting his balls in my mouth 😔✊
— 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐞 !!
The stone flooring is cold against your bare feet, icy and sharp in ways that you used to be able to say you were unused to — but after a handful of years as your lord’s most desired concubine, you’d grown more than used to the endless chill of stone against your soles.
Only a few short years ago you’d been sent into the mountains to the dusky temple of the demon lord Ryomen Sukuna, a toy for him to fuck then eventually rip apart as soon as he grew bored of you. Bound by the wrists with ropes that had scarred, you were dragged up the mountainside and thrown upon a vast stone table, bound yet again with your hands tugged over your head and your legs spread to opposing corners. Your inner thighs had each been granted one deep slash so blood would begin to flow, and then you had been abandoned there. Alone and in tears, night had fallen faster than you’d been found, and you’d almost felt frozen and delirious when the first shadows of a monstrous figure had caught your eyes.
He had been a terrifying monster, sporting a vast mouth on his abdomen, two sets of eyes, four arms, and two pairs of legs all connected to a towering frame — all things normally singular about the human form had been doubled, and the owner of such a body had slunk over to you all while salivating. At first you’d feared he’d molest you, then you feared being devoured — but he’d mocked you cruelly and cut you loose before dragging you along behind him by the rope binding your wrists with your slit thighs screaming, your journey ending with him casting you at a half dozen women you later learned to be his concubines, and you’d not left his great stone temple in the mountains ever since. On the contrary, your life had become much easier — you led a life of luxury nestled comfortably on your knees atop a plush pillow next to your lord’s hip, you followed wherever he led you to go, and you warmed his bed and his cock whenever he so chose — which was often.
Today was one such day, and you desired nothing more than to ready yourself to see the man who clung to you as if he were starved and you were a magicked feast.
“Off to see the King again?” one of the other concubines, Ino, asks snidely as you loosely drape chains of delicate gold over your skin, and you sigh. Ino always started fights whenever she saw the chance, and you were more than tired of it. Still, a verbal spar was nothing for the King to sneeze at, so he wouldn’t make any attempts to stop it; some days he even found the arguments amusing.
“Must I really answer your question?” You ask tiredly. “He has called for me—“
“As he does every day,” another concubine, Shouko, snaps. “He never calls upon us anymore, not like you.”
“I didn’t ask for this,” you snap back, and in response the bane of your existence stomps forward, smelling of the honeysuckle and melons that grew along the mountainside where you all resided.
“Maybe if you’d not come here and thrown yourself at him like a common whore, we wouldn’t be in this predicament,” Inko, Ino’s elder sister, snarls aggressively. Her eyes are dark and stormy, and her voice low and angry like a startled rattlesnake. “We all had a proper system before you came and ruined everything — but that’s all you know how to do, isn’t it? Traipsing in here practically naked from your first day and swallowing his cock down like it was what you were born for, then even daring to take away my night as well as Komori’s the following day.” Komori was another concubine, one nearly as bitter as Inko; she, however, chose to ruin what few of your belongings she could rather than spar with you verbally.
It was always the same with them — always angry that your lord doted on you more than the others, that he cooed at you so fondly while growls were occasionally sent their way ( growls you’d never received ), and that jewels and silks were lain reverently across your soft skin as rewards for earning his affections. “Maybe he likes me better for a reason, Inko,” you say coldly, standing your ground. “Maybe he isn’t calling upon you anymore because he’s realized how much of a surly bully you are — or maybe he’s grown tired of your once overused loose cunt.”
The sound of a loud, harsh slap echoes through the room, followed immediately by startled gasps of shock and your face stinging painfully; as much as you all threw poisoned words through the air like arrows were loosed from an archer’s bow, none of you had ever dared lay a hand on one another.
Your face burns, both from the pain from the hard slap and from a barely repressed anger, as you turn back from where it had been forcibly swung to the side at Inko’s strike to glare at her.
“You’ll start being a lot happier with your life when you stop basing it around both mine and a man’s,” you hiss before exiting the makeup room and navigating your way through the halls of Lord Sukuna’s temple before finally entering the throne room. He was listening to a few servants of his describe the look of the lands outside the temple, and what they believed the upcoming winter would offer them, but he brushed them away upon realizing you’d entered.
“Oh, my sweet treasure,” he purred warmly. “Come closer so I can bask in your beauty as I do every day.”
Obedient as always, you do just that, drifting closer before kneeling before him in acknowledgement of his power. Before you do so, you see the look in his eyes, and it sends a shot of fire to your stomach that you know all too well; his eyes are hooded, dark with a venomous lust that used to frighten you — but you aren’t the shy lamb sent to slaughter that you once were, are you?
“My lord Ryomen,” you murmur in a voice as thick and sweet as honey while just as deceptive as it would be when a part of a trap for flies. He stands, striding down the short set of stairs that led to his throne for you as he did for no other, and in a gruff voice commands you to stand at your full height. You do as told like always, and it doesn’t take long for him to catch sight of your aching face, which was no doubt starting to bruise.
He gently grabs you by the jaw, careful that his claws do not prick your soft skin as he tilts your head to reveal your cheek to him. “Your beautiful face…” King Sukuna rumbles lowly, his voice an angered growl as he gently tips you by his grip on your jaw to look at the bruising handprint marring your face, and his eyes are as stormy as the sky outside of the temple as thunder booms amongst the clouds. “Who dared do this to you?”
“Inko,” you murmur quietly, then whine, “She called me a common whore and said I ruin everything. It hurt my feelings.”
“She will be punished,” he promises, cupping your face and kissing your forehead fondly in a show of slight sweetness that you knew he showed no other and strove to keep hidden at all times. Typically his words would comfort you, but not today. You were tired of Inko’s behavior, and a week locked alone in a room with nothing but bread and milk was no longer fitting in your eyes.
You wanted her dead.
“Fill me with your seed, my Lord,” you beg sweetly, and he groans while grabbing you borderline painfully tight and grinds your crotches together as you stand together in the throne room, allowing you to feel him at half-hardness. “I want to carry your spawn for you, just like you always say.” It was true; Demon King Ryomen Sukuna was a weak man when it came to his almost wicked thoughts of breeding one of his women’s fertile cunts, but he’d not yet filled any of his concubines’ wombs with life. That privilege, you knew, was to be yours alone — and with how desperately you knew he wanted it, you’d get your prize of Inko’s head on a golden plate and he would get his of the instinctual want for an heir before the week was up.
You wrap your arms around his neck, standing as high on your tiptoes as you can to do so, and as usual he dips down so you can mouth sweetly at his skin, feeling one pair of arms rest at your hips while the other gently cup your face. “Let me ride you on your throne, my king,” you whisper sweetly, pulling your face from his hold and closing your teeth around one of his earlobes, tugging lightly. You both feel and hear the aroused growl leave his throat, and you move to nip at the base of his throat before asking again. “Please, beloved one?” you beg lightly, pressing a kiss to his jaw as he basks in the attention from your lips and your now wandering hands, which bury themselves in his hair in just the way he likes. “I want you to fill me in the way that only you will ever be able to. I desire the honor of bringing you life.”
You’re being dragged to his throne before you know it, your words plenty enough to tip him over any and all edges he had when it came to you, and he’s taking a seat and tugging you up onto his lap with a practiced ease that you both remembered all too well. He grinds his cock up into the crux of your thighs, his already hard length pressing against the place you were always bare for him beneath your skirts so perfectly. It only takes a moment for him to loose his cock from his robes, and even less time for him to press two of the fingers on one of his other three hands into your wet hole, the appendages curling just so inside so as to toy with you and prepare you for the vast stretch of one ( or even both ) of his cocks.
“F-Fuck — M’Lord, there-!” You whimper shakily, hips bucking into his touch as he presses one callused thumb to your clit and begins drawing harsh circles on it in time with each curl of his fingers.
“I know, sweet treasure, I know,” He murmurs softly. “I’ll take care of you — gotta get ya’ all nice and sloppy for me, dear one.”
“No more!” You whine impatiently. “Want you in me!”
His eyes are already dark, but they seem to darken even further at your senseless pleading. “As my foolish girl begs,” he says in mock-sweetness, pulling his fingers from your sopping cunt with a wet shlk! and beginning to use what you’d left on them to wet his cock rather than lick them clean like usual. Your heart ba-bump!s in your chest as a nervous shiver courses through you, but you don’t back down — you’d take his cocks and the resulting child of this coupling as well.
“Oh gods — yes, please-!” you whimper, feeling the way he drags his cock against your slickened slit, and he chuckles lightly before pressing the fat head in. A stuttery gasp falls from your lips as your head does likewise to his shoulders, and you cling to him desperately as you begin to sink down onto him entirely. In what feels like forever ( but is really only a couple short seconds ) he’s fully sheathed inside of you, and you both still for a moment to soak in the feeling of both filling and being full — and the the Demon King decides the time to adjust is up, and begins fucking up into you.
You bounce on his lap, moaning brazenly like a woman in a whorehouse, and your nails dig into his skin as he uses you like a toy for his own pleasure. Each drag of his thick cock inside you alights a fire in your belly as it always does, and you keen from your place on his lap as all four of his arms rove your body — two palming at your tits, one rubbing cruel circles on your swollen clit, and the third thrown around your waist.
“Fuck… Fuck…” he moans, biting at your neck, and you whine needily while grinding down on him, trying your hardest to tempt him into forcing his second cock inside. Unfortunately, you doubted he would, considering he was always so cautious not to break his favorite toy ( you weren’t a fool, there was no love in his heart — there remained no heartstrings for you to tug on, only his sensitive cock. ), but seemingly today was an exception as a hand on one of your tits releases it just so he can grab his second length and press it against your sopping wet hole. The thick ring of cream around the base of the cock he’d already filled you with smears across his second as he urges the tip inside, a short scream falling from your lips as it pops in after a long moment of slightly-pained pressure.
You’re overfull, tears are rolling down your cheeks, but Lord Sukuna just licks them up and begins using your body like the hole to fuck it is, bluncing you brutally on both of his cocks all while still seated on his massive throne. Behind you, you hear the wide doors to the throne room open, but it isn’t until a scandalized cry fills the room that you turn to look while your lord master continues fucking you without a care in the world for the eyes watching.
“My Lord-? Oh gods, my apologies! I beg your forgiveness, my king!” The hand that had wandered in wails, falling to his knees in subservience at the realization that he’s just walked in on his lord taking his most favorite concubine in the throne room. The sight of both of his king’s cocks sinking so deeply into your glistening cunt had his own single cock twitching beneath his robes, but there was no way in hell he would ever dare to act on such a thing; the last time someone other than the king himself had touched a concubine with their unworthy hands, both had been torn apart in the King’s rage and fed to the carrion birds.
“Fuck, you’re nothing but my sweet whore, aren’t you?” Sukuna groans deeply, ignoring the man entirely as you refocus entirely on him and the feelings he was forcing upon you.
“Y-Yes, my king,” you moan shakily, your eyelashes fluttering as an ever-present knot starts to grow tighter in your lower belly alongside the overfull feeling, fueled by a heat that always burns in his presence.
“Cum on my cocks,” Sukuna orders through a moan. “Give it to me, I command you — I want to feel your cunt pulse around me as you come undone.” As he speaks he speeds up the circles he was drawing on your clit, and within moments you’re falling apart around him, crying out in ecstasy as he lets out a demonic roar and oresses himself as deeply inside as he can before emptying his balls. Faintly you register his eyes rolling back as he cums, but you’re too wrapped up in him to truly give a damn about any of it.
After a few moments he begins to tug you off of his lengths, the muscles in your body just as instinctually unwilling to give them and their stretch up as you are as a natural resistance shows before being overtaken by you clenching down on him. “No,” you whimper, holding him tight. “Mine.”
“Y’gotta let me go, my precious jewel,” he rumbles quietly, and the urge to actually cry fills you and you just cling tighter.
“No,” you say again, a fresh wave of tears stinging at your eyes. “Don’t wanna.”
A low groan falls from his lips, but he stops fighting you. You barely react as he lifts you, his inhuman strength making most any show of strength possible ( and making lifting you something easily scoffed at ), and you do likewise as he carries you off to his private chambers. A questioning noise falls from your half-chapped lips as he closes the massive open door of the two closed behind him, and he just shushes you before pulling the silk sheets and thick blankets and furs back before placing you on them. He’s straddling you, still stuck due to your clinging, and it takes a brief moment of wrestling with you before he manages to finally pull out.
A borderline sickly wet noise fills both his and your ears as his cocks are drawn from your needy cunt, and the rush of thick demon cum that follows makes you whine pathetically. He just clicks his tongue at you and tugs on a rope made of golden chord that would ring a bell in one of the servant’s halls and summoned one such person, ordering them to ready your nightly meal ( despite the sun still being up ) so you could eat then sleep at your own leisure. Once the trembling man is gone, he joins you in bed.
“I hope you meant your urging for me to grant you a child,” he purrs, biting at your shoulder while you press close to him. He pulls away, sitting up on the side of the bed, “Because there’s no going back now — you will carry my seed in your belly until you birth me a child.”
None of this matters to you. You had always planned to birth his first child, had always known that it was what your fate held for you — this moment was not for talk of a baby, no. You wanted your prize.
“My dearest lord,” you sniffle needily, sliding from the bed on shaky legs and sinking to your knees between his legs, then propping yourself up over your crossed arms on them with a pout downturning your lips. A quickly growing puddle of his leaking cum begins to drip on the floor between your legs. “Please kill Inko — she’s so very mean to me, and all the other concubines are too because she’s been here so long.” Your bottom lip trembles as fresh tears start, and he sighs.
“But her cunt is so sweet, dear one,” he murmurs, and you whimper and hide your face in one thick, muscled thigh.
“You said she was loose. Besides, she hit me — I carry your spawn inside of me, and she hit me.” You didn’t have even his cum in you then, much less a conceived child — but you knew how to play the Demon King’s instincts, and the slight angered huff through his nostrils betray the rage simmering beneath his skin. All it would take was the tiniest push further. “It was the face this time, the face you own, but what if she pushes me down the stairs next? I could lose my life.”
Growling fills the air, and you know you've done it.
“Rest here,” he says quietly, his voice shaking with rage, “Servants will be here to attend to you in a few minutes.”
He helps you up with one hand, half-tossing you onto the cushy bed, then begins making his way out of his private rooms. “Where are you going?” you call innocently, pushing a frightened tremor into your voice. “My lord Ryomen, please don’t leave me — I’m always so frightened without you!”
He stops in the middle of the room; you can see him shaking with anger. “I have business to attend to,” he says through gritted teeth.
Your eyes glitter. “Come back to me soon, beloved one — I miss you desperately every moment you are away.”
A grunt is your only response, and he exits the room as servants wheel in your dinner. You curl up prettily in his massive nest of a bed, and you peruse the options he’d granted you eagerly. When he was done, he’d use the excess rage to fuck you again — you’d need to quell what appetite you have now and then some if you wanted enough energy to survive.
In the distance, furious roaring mixes with shrill, fearful screaming, and you delicately tug apart the roast duck you’d been served as the sounds of more concubines than just Inko being killed fills the temple. Servants cower, and the younger cupbearers whimper, but you just smile softly and hold out your emptied cup.
“I would like more pear juice, please.”
𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © { 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 } 𝐛𝐲 𝟒𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐒. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭.
#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you
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tuesday again 3/18/2025
in which we read a lesbian romance where the highs are pretty fuckin good and the lows are not so pretty good
listening: the giver by chappell roan
reading: a bella books update, but mostly Beautiful Journey by Kenna White
watching: fallow week
playing: genshin (!) and Pokémon
making: garden update, rit dye bounty
listening
new single out. i want to hear this in EVERY commercial this summer
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reading
special shoutout to a blazed tumblr post that led me to Haden Cross’ Uncontinented Stars, a queer moby-dick retelling. before you dismiss it out of hand here are some of my thoughts about how it neatly avoids some common queer retelling pitfalls
in this gay and lesbian romance project, i really think (one of) my (big) problem(s) is with Bella Books specifically as a publisher and their lack of quality control or editing assistance, but we are closer to done with them. with the bella and naiad conglomerate, i have two books of short stories (one naiad one bella, neither with covers i can take to work) and two more naiad originals after this. i will be breaking them up into three weeks in between kim baldwins (the insane lesbian bunker mercenary one i enjoyed).

three up this week: could not finish the one on the left due to a printing error with random missing pages, could not finish the one on the right bc of a hard-out trigger.


this is Kenna White’s Beautiful Journey, a 2008 Bella Books original (not acquired from Naiad), 276p softcover with a worse than usual application of glue to the perfect bound binding.
Kit Anderson is determined to make a difference. All around her the Battle for Britain is raging, and ferrying factory-fresh airplanes to combat bases makes excellent use of her skills as flight lieutenant for the British Women’s Air Transport Auxiliary. An American in southern England, she is undaunted by war. It’s safer than love.
The talented aviatrix could fly a crippled craft through a thunderstorm without a compass and find her way home, so it is singularly disconcerting to find herself flying in circles around Emily Mills, a too young, too attractive and too abrasive British literature teacher. Even though Emily’s grandmother is Lady Marble, it’s a time of war and scarcity and Emily needs work. Kit offers to help her find a job on the air base—and as is often true, no good deed goes unpunished.
i had zero expectations from a bella books book (and there were still a handful of misspellings and formatting glitches) but on a scene by scene level, White is excellent at setting a scene and making it come fully alive with a sort of forties wartime romcom slapstick vibe. in the back half there’s a very good very coen brothers scene with ornery pig farming lesbians, married for twenty-eight years, who (after holding her at shotgunpoint and wanting to see the American label in her American silk underwear) help Kit get her plane out of a field after an emergency landing and some intergenerational bonding. to which she gifts them her silk parachute as an anniversary present. there’s a great dramatic romantic set piece during a daytime air raid in London, where they flee a claustrophobic, unhygenic tube station and shelter outdoors in an alcove (very stupid). a big dramatic kiss to comfort someone and distract them from a panic attack. that sort of thing.
contains one of the worst reactions to a first orgasm i have ever read: i texted my bestie in horror “American lesbian successfully seduced British lesbian (found out she was a virgin, got her clothes off) and after she made the British lesbian come the British lesbian BURST INTO TEARS AND RAN OFF INTO THE NIGHT” HELLO??? EMILY WHAT??? while this is a BONKERS thing to do in real life i must applaud this specific bella book for making me go HELLO??? in this way and not in frustration bc i want something! anything! to happen. good decisions are out interesting decisions are in etc. bella books sets SUCH a low bar.
also contains straight up one of the most effective scenes ive read in this project so far, that made me tear up AT WORK:

the book has a very water-themed series of mishaps (walks in on Kit while she’s having a bath, drenches her with dirty water from a kitchen pot, doesn’t set the brake on a truck and Kit has to drop flat in the mud for the truck not to run her over, Kit ends up going back in the rain to rescue Emily from a thunderstorm, Kit rescues Emily from a river overrunning its banks, at least one more thing i can’t recall). this is a pretty amusing lesbian getting-you-wet schtick without doing a russo brothers HEY IM GETTING YOU WET. GET IT? WE FUCK NOW? and does supply some believable friction for the “why can’t they be together NOW” question. they can’t be together now bc emily is a walking disaster.
unfortunately i think this book is much weaker in the last third of the relationship, and the way they resolved their misunderstanding from an accidental eavesdrop felt like it could be very forties romantic drama in the eventual film adaptation, but felt very flimsy as a modern reader. i hope that makes sense. wretched ending, i did NOT enjoy the Kit spanking Emily scene to get her to confess why she broke up with her in the LAST THREE PAGES. it felt very strange when they were so focused on being soft and gentle for the rest of the book, and i don’t think that’s a good place to rebuild a relationship on.
yes, and the sex?
certainly better than all of the other bella books sex scenes: three? i think? with one nearly a full chapter long. i wish some of the word choice (eg “honey path”) was different. i think White’s strength is in groups conferring amongst each other and establishing non-romantic relationships, but she’s good at making me invested in them because they have so much frustration to overcome and have to establish a friendship beachhead before they can get to anything romantic.

by far the best bella book with some really standout individual scenes, but still a very mixed bag. i will probably keep it on the strength of that shortbread passage alone bc. OOF. i think it was worth slogging through the bella/naiad books for that.
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watching
rare fallow week! hopefully i will sort myself out as i get used to working in person and need less completely silent floor time. hopefully.
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playing
no news on the desktop front unforch BUT i did finally have a phone upgrade tick around and good god. going from an iPhone 12 to a 16 plus is insane. this thing is enormous. i get WHY genshin makes a billion dollars a year on mobile bc this looks sick but my god do i prefer mouse and keyboard. i feel a billion years old. i am glad i can get in and do my dailies and some events but i am nowhere near confident enough to do like. the fighting part of the fighting game. anyway, get a load of this guy and his thigh high demonias
with this guy the only other guy i really really want is pink fox lady Yae Miko. and woman of mystery Skirk. whenever the fuck she drops. so glad i was grinding before my pc died lol bc i dropped three mil in-game currency on making sure my beautiful sad man has maxed artifacts maxed weapon and talents to 8/10. he would be totally maxed but i have One! ONE! boss drop left and can’t quite clinch it yet on mobile. i may have to drop the difficulty level down as far as it will go :( i cannot git gud :(
but get a load of this other guy!
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making
continuing battles with the insane microclimate on my balcony, which is extremely hot and dry yet i am constantly battling drainage issues and a fungal damping-off issue, where seedlings wither at the base before they get their first true leaves. also having a strange issue with things simply not coming up: the purple bush beans and lettuce mix i bought last year, and half the marigolds i bought this year don’t want to sprout At All even in a damp paper towel in a baggie. they’ve been kept in the cool and dark. so what gives.
however, the nearly six year old butternut squash seeds @shiny-good-rock sent me at the beginning of the pandemic? all four of those babies came up. while they sort themselves out into something photogenic, behold my beautiful little satellite array of nasturtiums. they need to be moved around a bit so they all have breathing room but that’s a problem for future kay

and finally, i so rarely enter giveaways but i entered one on Instagram and got a stupid mchugelarge box FULL of rit dye!!! i am going to commit so many synthetic crimes. gorls THRILLED by big box and so much paper

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Dorcas's interlude: the summer before third year, 1973. masterlist
tw: bcs basically tries to get rid of his kid's personality? idk lmk
haiii :3 another long one to make up for the fact that i disappeared. i swear this will get better when school ends and i don't have to grade papers all the gd time. also for context, there will be one to three interludes per character, so this is one of cas's.
this was supposed to be fluffy and then bcs showed up. we love lesbians. big reveal for cas and reg!!! i'm so ready for the reactions :3 we have one year till ev and dora @jamie-potters @r0seprincess @im-a-mess-of-a-person
For the first time since Ari's birth, Dorcas slept in that summer.
One of the other four, usually Evan or Regulus, was up before the sun. The kids were helping them cook, and they were learning, and Felix was, too. Regulus got his period a few days after his birthday and had a breakdown that Dorcas helped him through. She'll always help him.
Barty talked about Ilaria. He told the twins and Reg as well, and Pandora was able to reconstruct her in a drawing. Barty cried and pretended not to. They all pretended he didn't.
That summer was the summer. Dorcas's mother didn't make an appearance through a letter or visit, which was fine by Dorcas, and everything was going perfectly. Dorcas's grandparents slept in as well, and though they still went to work, Dorcas saw her grandmother's dark circles become less and less prominent in her face.
That summer, Regulus woke her up before the sun on a random day in July. "I think I'm gonna tell them," he said, sitting on her bed. "That I'm– that I was–"
"Do you want to?" Dorcas asked quietly. Evan slept in twenty minute spurts and he was quiet even when he was awake. Observant. And sleeping a wall away.
"I do," he answered. "Not just for me. Barty's talking about Ilaria and I feel like there are a lot less secrets. And it's one thing off your plate, too, right?"
"Don't do it for me," Dorcas said. "Do it for you, because you want to."
Regulus looked at her, his eyes looking old and wise for a kid. Dorcas knew, realistically, that they weren't really kids. They didn't act like it. No kid slept in twenty-minute intervals for fear of dreaming of his friends' dead bodies, just like no kid lied blatantly about something as simple as gender to his parents and got away with it. No kid raised four other kids. No kid raised one.
"I'm gonna do it," he whispered. "For me. Let's go to the woods."
They rounded up the other three– Evan was, in fact, awake– and headed to the woods. Barty barely looked awake.
They sat down in the same vaguely circular shape they'd been in a few weeks before when they'd done the soul-binding ritual but closer together. They could all sense that Reg needed it, and even if he complained when Barty put his feet over his legs, he didn't curse him. Regulus opened his mouth twice before giving up and reaching out through their connection.
I've been lying to all of you since we met.
Barty's brow furrowed. Yeah, I lied about Ilaria. I'm sure everyone here has some big secret except me now. What're you hiding?
Dorcas felt Regulus's fear like it was hers. She slid her hand into his.
My name– my legal name, at least– isn't Regulus. Sirius wrote to McGonagall before I started school to ask her to change it to Regulus.
Why would you need it changed? Evan asked.
I don't have a sister, Evan, Regulus said. I am the sister.
What do you mean? Pandora asked.
I was born a girl. But I'm a boy.
Dorcas felt them all contemplating that and then felt in-her-head Barty lean his head on Regulus's shoulder.
You can do that?
Evan's voice wasn't judging. He sounded considering, like he was looking back through his life.
Regulus cracked a smile. Got something you want to ask? Or share?
How'd you find out? Pandora asked.
It was always kind of there, I think. I always wondered why my parents put me with my cousins and not my brother.
Both of the twins were considering that now, and Dorcas thought she knew what was going on. They'd say it when they were ready, not before, but she thought she understood. Every time Evan dreamed of his own death, he had all of Pandora's characteristics. It made sense, but she wouldn't push them.
The sun's coming up, she started, but Barty interrupted her.
Did you already know?
She did, Regulus cut in. Last winter, when my mother dropped me off. She called me by my old name and made me wear a dress.
Dorcas felt Evan stiffen. You're going back there over my dead body. She can't make you be somebody you're not. You can stay at mine and Dora's if your mother ever doesn't let you back her, she likes our parents.
She has to, Pandora said with a quiet contempt. We're related by marriage, after all.
Thank you for telling us, Evan said, placing his real hand over Reg's. I'm glad you trusted us.
Dorcas looked at all of them and noticed that they'd all gotten closer. Barty was halfway in Reg's lap, his legs swung over Reg's and his feet resting on Evan's thigh. Evan's hand was on Regulus's and somehow, over the course of the conversation, Dorcas's feet had ended up resting on Barty's knees. Pandora was the only one not entirely intertwined, only curled up against Barty and looking like she was about twenty seconds from falling asleep or committing murder.
She understood why Dora wasn't trying to literally burrow under the skin of the others like it sometimes seemed Barty might. She'd always struggled with physical contact unless it was with Barty, really. Dorcas understood that– Jas had the same problem, though, having met Lord Rosier, Jas and Dora probably had different reasons.
The sun began to rise, but they didn't get up. Pandora fell asleep on Barty's shoulder and Dorcas began conjuring flowers to weave together to make flower crowns for the five of them and probably her siblings and Felix and one extra to leave out at the edge of the forest for Ilaria. Regulus fell asleep as well, and Evan, Barty and Dorcas talked about old gossip and theories from school and new ones from Dorcas's grandparents' jobs. Her grandparents kept all five kids in the house for them to be unbothered for hours, and Dorcas noticed that Regulus looked well-rested.
It was a good look on him. Genuine happiness was a good look on him, she thought.
-
Later that July saw Barty creeping into Dorcas's room after lights-out.
"Cassie?" he whispered, and she rolled over to face him.
"What's up?" she asked, yawning a bit.
"I had a nightmare," he admitted, scuffing his foot on the ground. "Will you talk to me, and can I stay with you?"
This wasn't the first time it had happened. Dorcas didn't know what was in the nightmares and hadn't asked. She knew the life he had with his father well enough to know that whatever it was, odds were good he wouldn't talk about it until he was ready.
"Absolutely," Dorcas replied, pulling her blankets back so that he could climb in beside her and lean on her shoulder. "I, um, I think I realized something last night."
"Yeah?" Barty mumbled.
"I've got a crush, I think."
"Oh?" Barty muttered, fisting his long fingers in her jumper. His nails were too short to do any damage, thankfully, as the one she had one was one of her favorites.
"Yeah, but I think we'll be playing against each other in Quidditch this year."
"Against–" he started, pulling his face away to look at her with vague horror. "Please, Rowena, do not tell me you like Reg's brother. He does not seem like a great guy, Cassie."
She had to laugh. "No, Bat, no him."
"Then…" his voice trailed off and he looked away, contemplating. The only people in her year playing Quidditch were Sirius, Marlene, Dorcas, and some Hufflepuff no one liked for good reason. "McKinnon? Dorcas Meadowes, are you into McKinnon?"
"…Maybe?" she admitted, and he laughed.
"Cassie, I love and support you, and I am begging you to get this out of your mind before you end up staring at her so much you let them score and we lost to the Gryffindors."
She looked at him with a bit of curiosity at his wording. "We, is it? Since when are you a Slytherin?"
"I want to be, I think," he said. "I mean, it would disappoint my dad, which is most of the point, but the only reason I'm a Ravenclaw now is because the Hat thought I wanted to be there. It said it wanted me in Slytherin but I should be in Ravenclaw since I'm a Crouch."
She pulled him into her side. "Alright. Are you going back, or do you want to stay here?"
"I'll stay, I think," he said and curled back up into her side.
She reached out through their bond as he began to forcibly even out his breathing, finding the other three awake.
Dora, Reg, Ev, she called, excluding Barty so he could at least try to sleep. If you guys want to sleep here, you can.
Group sleepover! was Evan's immediate response, and Reg's laughter preceded his agreement. The three of them crept into the room as well, and Dorcas channeled some magic through her fingers to get the bed just a bit bigger.
Reg climbed between the wall and Evan got between him and Dorcas, putting her in the middle as Dora simply crawled next to Barty. The warmth was overwhelming in the best way possible, and when the sun began to rise, five pairs of little feet would join them as well, causing all of them to sleep well past nine.
There weren't any nightmares.
There weren't any prophecies.
In the afternoon, when Dorcas told the other three, Regulus simply raised one eyebrow and said "Tell me something I don't know." Evan smiled and Dora got out of her armchair to get three Galleons to hand to her brother.
-
Of course, all good things had to come to an end. August nineteenth rolled around, and with it came Evan, Dora, Felix, and Barty's departures back to their homes. Felix and Ari tried to hide and pouted and cried and hugged and begged Dorcas to let him stay, but Dora had just tugged her little brother onto the train.
Rosier Manor was just as cold as it had been, Lord Rosier nowhere to be found. Regulus stayed quiet and as out of the way as he could as Dorcas and Barty made small talk with Lady Rosier. She sent them on their way with a diplomatic smile and some pastries, and then it was time for the Crouchs'.
Dorcas hated it more than she first had, especially after all the stories Barty had told her in the dead of night, showing her the best of his scars. She hated his father for them, for the long scar under his hair from being shoved down the stairs, for the one on his back in the shape of the heel of a boot.
Luckily for him, he wasn't there. It was only Barty's mother, who he smiled at and hugged, and their house elf, who said something about a birthday present. Barty led her and Reg to his room to show them the present he'd supposedly gotten.
He opened his door, and his nonstop strem-of-consiousness words came to a halt.
Dorcas could only think that the room looked nothing like him. The walls were beige and the floor was a darker shade of the same color. There was no personalization, and the twin bed in the corner was devoid of color.
"W-what?" he said, face falling out of its usual bright smile.
Regulus put his hand on Barty's shoulder. Dorcas guessed that this was not how his room had looked when he'd left for her house.
"Where are the stars?" he said, stepping into the room and climbing on his bed to touch the ceiling. "They're gone. My guitars, my drums, my stars, my Ravenclaw banner, my books, my notebooks, my drawings from Dora, it's all gone. Why is it all gone?"
"I don't know, Bat," Reg said, looking around.
"Happy fucking birthday to me," Barty said desparingly.
"Hold that thought," Dorcas said. She concentrated, channeling her magic through Barty to reverse whatever his father had done.
The first thing to show up was the stars. The ceiling became the navy of the night sky and the stars and moon, painted on, reflected what it would have looked like without the smoke in the sky. Drawings Dorcas recognized as Evan's were next, papering the walls. A bookshelf grew from the floor, filling itself with more books than it could reasonably hold and more simply piling around the shelf. A drum kit rested in the nook holding the window, three guitars and a viola leaning against one of the drums. The window lock snapped off. His bed became blue and green, and another one in the same colors appeared in the opposite corner. Exactly half of the room looked like Barty's personality had vomited all over it, while the other half must have belonged to Ilaria. The headboard of her bed was an unfinished mural of her and Barty, flowers weaving through their exposed ribs and various other bones. Only half of Ilaria's face was finished, but Dorcas could see who she should've been. Blonde hair down past her waist had been painted in painstaking detail. She had the same striking green eyes filled with laughter as Barty did and a huge scar crossing over her left eye that was entirely her. Barty had told her it was from their father throwing a vodka bottle at her, shattering near her head and a piece of the glass cutting her face.
The room was messy, but nothing was beige. It looked like Barty now, and Ilaria too, and Dorcas felt that if she spent enough time in the room, she would get to know Ilaria.
A short blond blur throwing its arms around her shoulders shook her out of her thoughts.
"Thank you, Cassie," Barty mumbled, clutching her like she'd disappear if he let go.
"Of course, Bat," she replied.
He pulled away to look her in the eyes, those striking green eyes that he'd shared with his twin. He must have seen her every time he looked in the mirror, she thought. It was no wonder that he didn't like looking at himself. "You should go," he said, sniffing and wiping his nose with his sleeve. Dorcas realized that at some point, he'd started crying quietly. "My father will be home soon. I'll see you both at school and we'll be sharing a dorm, Reg."
Somehow, after all that, he mustered up a smile to see them out.
Regulus and Dorcas rode back to her house in silence, their day in general weighing heavily on both of their minds.
Miss you guys, Barty's voice called out through their connection as Dorcas and Barty ate dinner with the kids.
Miss you too, snakes, Dora's voice replied, and Dorcas felt her smile.
Both she and Reg counted down the days until they could see the smiles again.
#marauders#marauders era#dead gay wizards#fuck jkr#regulus black#evan rosier#pandora rosier#barty crouch junior#barty crouch jr#dorcas meadowes#dorlene#marlene mckinnon#dorcas x marlene#the skittles#slytherin skittles#the slytherin skittles#skittles squad
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something wlw! with ellie! and valetines-esque!!
of course! my mind jumps directly to clairo :) specifically the song north (have i listened to the song twenty times today bc i have a crush? yes) & also (you) on my arm by leith ross ✧˖*°࿐
pairing: bestfriend!ellie x female reader word count: 1.3k warnings/tags: just fluff rly, mild suggestive content :3 summary: possible unrequited love (hehe), ellie is in love her with best friend, love confessions via literature, friends to lovers
Ellie was overwhelmed. She felt the emotions racing through her like a waterfall. She could practically imagine feeling her friend's warm hands on her thighs, and she was paralyzed with uncertainty. For the first time, she was unable to turn a blind eye because she was afraid of what it all meant. She was starting to have serious feelings for her friend. It didn’t help that you would give her various homemade trinkets, such as the ceramic dish that you painted to look like her cat or knit beanies you just kept making.
So when you had handed Ellie a box wrapped in newspaper for her last birthday, dated from the day you met two years prior, that’s when Ellie knew she was a goner. As her fingers slid under the taped corner, careful not to rip the paper (to which you told her to hurry up), she felt like kissing you right then and there.
She imagined a hot summer day with you two together. Her hands wandering all over your body in an intimate moment as you both shared the summer heat together. The scent of sweat as she felt the hot touch of you. Ellie had always felt comfortable with her best friend, but now this was crossing the line.
She wanted to take you to parties, adorned in a tight dress. She wanted to watch you curl your hair, hold your hand as you fell asleep beside each other. Ellie could picture pinching your cheeks, hearing you giggle in response. And god, did she love your laugh. Your eyebrows would furrow together, your head thrown back and hair a mess.
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Ellie wanted to make something that showed deep appreciation and an understanding of just how much she cared for you. So when you had revealed to her two weeks ago one of your all-time favorite books – Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller – she was set.
Ellie spent the last few weeks learning how to bind a book, how to weave together an intricate cover, and how to make paper look old. She also spent days reading your favorite books, looking for the perfect moment to pull a quote from them, that she would then include in the card for the book. She spent so much time on the book that it was becoming an obsession, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to actually give it yet.
Written on the inside cover, Ellie inscribed “In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun” in black ink, trying her best to heart the I’s like you like her to. She hopes it's not too cheesy, too overbearing.
Ellie’s face was smashed against the unmade bedspread, her vision impaired slightly, with her hand beginning to lose feeling. The pin pricks shot up and down her arm, the nerves screaming at her to move. The bed linens, which held your scent, were causing her heart to race. You were face to face; her eyes scanning your features. A stray piece of hair fell over your nose and moved slightly with each exhale. The other girl wanted desperately to reach out and push it behind your ear, and before she could stop herself, she was doing exactly that.
She struggled to stay centered – the real word fading away. Her eyes took in the beautiful curve of her friend's hips, the soft skin of her arms, and the way she curled her fingers against her own cheek as she sighed in her sleepy daze. The scent of coconut shampoo tickled her nose, not wanting to leave your peaceful figure. As if on cue, your eyes slowly open, a yawn capturing your mouth. You gaze at her curiously, feeling her hand on your face. You flash her a toothy grin, making Ellie blush a deep crimson.
“Hi,” you whisper, the sunlight pouring in from the window behind you. It was pushed partly open, not a single car rumbled down the street and the birds were just beginning to wake. The soft rays frame your silhouette, the dewy grass outside cold and wet to the touch.
With early spring seedlings beginning to sprout and the quietness of the wind, when everything is silent, Ellie wishes she could stay here forever. She wishes for her familiar early morning, even when the world is anything but. Everything is so different in the morning, and Ellie is determined to soak in it all.
“Hey,” she voices back, removing her hand from the warmth of your cheek. You stick your tongue lip out, the pink of your lips making Ellie’s heart swell. Neither of you meant for her to stay the night, but at some point during your heated discussion over which Beatles member was the best, Ellie had fallen asleep and you didn’t have the heart to wake her. So now here you were, squashed and tangled together on your full sized mattress, a thin blanket encapsulating both of you.
“Got somethin’ for you,” Ellie mumbles, sitting up and stretching her arms. Your eyes selfishly stare at the patch of skin that becomes visible when her shirt rises slightly, the band of her boxers tight against her hips. You drop your gaze quickly, hiding your guilt with the safety of the blanket.
“Els, you didn’t have to get me anything,” you reason, not wanting her to feel pressured to get you anything. After all, you were just friends. Close friends, sure, but that didn’t warrant an exchanging of gifts on romantic holidays. However, Ellie was a lovestruck lesbian and you had already made her a small present last month.
As Ellie handed you the leatherbound object, you stared at her in confusion, forcing yourself to sit up. You were awestruck by its perfection. The stitching, the color, the engravings. Nothing about it was off-putting or made it look like it was done hastily. It was meticulously crafted.
"This is incredible!" you said excitedly, looking up at Ellie with a wide grin on your face as she looked down nervously, fingers fiddling with the strings of her sweatpants.
Your hands graze over the cover, opening it up to a quote written unmistakably by Ellie. As the last words of the quote fill your mind, you can feel yourself getting flustered. This was the last thing you expected, this level of detail surpassing the sketch you drew of Ellie playing guitar with Joel. You jump forward, wrapping Ellie in a tight hug, catching her off guard.
You’re sitting on your knees, arms encircled around Ellie’s front, her sitting before you and faltering before returning the gesture. The blanket falls into a pool around your bodies, Ellie noticing how the shorts you’re wearing hang loose and the soft fabric of your underwear peeks out. She has to force herself to look anywhere else, because of course you’re wearing the most lacey pair she's ever seen. You’re breathlessly reciting thank you's, which come out high pitched and jumbled, causing the other girl to chuckle.
“Your body is against my own, our breaths mixing as one. I see no end to this feeling, just the warmth of your touch,” you whisper softly, burying your head into her neck. Ellie stiffens at this, suddenly very aware of how your fingertips are on her back and having to bite down on her tongue to keep from confessing every thought she’s ever had about you. And then suddenly you’re sitting back, inches from her face, looking at her so gently that Ellie swears she might just melt then and there.
With a hand placed gingerly on the side of Ellie’s face, you bring your lips to hers, saying everything with that simple touch.
#fanfic#ellie x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams#tlou2#tlou#lesbian#valentines day#request#oneshot#friends to lovers#ellie williams fic
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Raev's Fic Masterlist
Since tumblr can be a little allergic to links, I thought I'd take a second to ramble about all the various little (and not so little) fics I have up on Ao3
Den of Shadows
Jaguar's Midnight: Currently a single chapter of me exploring ideas of a Midnight that is more blatantly BDSM and less human trafficking. Maybe more to come? Who knows
Unpublished Turquoise thing about her time with Daryl (pester me about if it you're interested)
Hawksong/Kiesha'ra
Ties that Bind (haitus, 30 chps) A queer, polyamorous, Romeo and Juliet with shapeshifters set on a backdrop of the first tentative peace in a thousand year war. Canon's hotter cousin. Not currently explicit but plans to potentially get there
Frayed Knots (ongoing, 20 chps) The place where all the scenes I thought would go in TTB but didn't wind up. Some one offs, some deleted scenes. A mixed bag of spicy adult stuff and just fun character exploration. Iirc spicy chapters are marked as such
Dasi High (abandoned, 4 chps) Highschool AU of Maeve and Kiesha and Co, if their story was on the CW
Forbidden Skies (ongoing, 4 chps) Crossover with Forbidden Game. Julian is a falcon and Jenny and co are avians and serpiente. Basically FB's chars and plot cosplaying as K'r
Forbidden Game
Forbidden Skies, see above
Holy Fire (one off) A sort of song fic where Zach thinks way too hard about Jenny and tries to become a magician
Hearts Desires (complete, 4 chps) Still playing with Zach the magician, this one is meant to be a fairly short exploration of magic/runes, Zach's obsession with Jenny, his inability to readjust after the game, and coming out to himself. And tree sex. It's a weird one.
Summer Therapy character study (one off) exploring her massively underdeveloped character a bit
Unpublished pre-canon Jenny thing where she's kind of aware of something (Julian) watching her at night (spicy, pester me about it if you're interested)
Longer descriptions under the cut
Ties that Bind: A queer, polyamorous, Romeo and Juliet with shapeshifters set on a backdrop of the first tentative peace in a thousand year war. Anticipated f/f, m/m, and many other shapes of m/f/m and/or f/m/f, potentially kinky if I ever get it there. Also potentially ace/qpr stuff if I can ever figure out my MC and what is true in this fic vs what belongs in side projects. Canon's hotter cousin with more magic, more setting development, A LOT more romance, and a distant relation to the original in the way that Vaporeon resembles Eevee. It wants to still fit in canon's clothes but really needs to admit its grown too big for that.
This is the big one. I realized revisiting my favorite childhood series that the big epic romance I always remembered was mostly in my head. So I decided to get it out of my head and onto paper. That is... not what happened XD It follows the basic Romeo/Julietness of Hawksong, but I decided to really explore the world and characters and so made a lot of executive decisions bc there actually isn't that much about the world/characters in the original. It's diverged wildly, spiraled out of control into a 30+ chapters novel (lets be honest) and isn't ending any time soon. It's the one I most want to work on so send me asks and encouragement about it so I can get working on it again :P
Basically, Zane and Danica are still deeply dedicated to peace. They think the idea of getting married to achieve it is ridiculous, but they're desperate enough to keep it on the back burner. Dani gets to know Zane (and Adelina) as friends. She explores her relationship with Rei. She struggles with bureaucracy and a well-meaning mother that doesn't always support her in the way she needs. Also there's a bit more magic, a lot more setting, and a bunch of characters I kinda made up to help flesh things out (hello Vasili's made up cousin). Current plans include finishing it with some sort of marriage, but I haven't decided if Zanica is endgame or not (the dynamic currently in the lead in my head is Dani takes Adelina as her Alistair, Zane takes Rei as his Nag, and the four of them all kinda co-rule. We'll see. Everyone is going to kiss everyone else before its done that's for sure)
Frayed Knots (ongoing, 20 chps) The place where all the scenes I thought would go in TTB but didn't wind up. Some one offs, some deleted scenes. A mixed bag of spicy adult stuff and just fun character exploration. Iirc spicy chapters are marked as such Current offerings include: abandoned TTB starts, some BDSM scenes with Z/D/R/A, Dani getting herself off and thinking too hard, an alternative Snakecharm opening from Kel's POV, some Oliza stuff, some Marus/Urban stuff, and some Dasi High stuff. Really, Frayed Knots is a great place to start if you wanna read TTB but are kind of intimidated by its scope. Most FK entries are 1-3 chapters. A sampler platter of my nonsense basically :P
Dasi High (abandoned, 4 chps) Kiesha and Co Highschool AU, basically what if the Dasi was a show on the CW. A fun idea, but not actually my cup of tea. Would probably be more fun to ramble about in discord than actually write
Forbidden Skies (ongoing, 4 chps) Crossover with Forbidden Game. Julian is a falcon and Jenny and co are avians and serpiente. Basically FB's chars and plot cosplaying as K'r. I really loved the idea, but I don't know if it grabbed me enough to make want to wrestle it into submission like I do TTB. With TTB, I don't know the story yet, so I can trick myself into working on it bc I wanna know what happens. With FS, I know what my intended plot will be, so this one would need a lot of outside hype to get me working on it again. But I think it could be really really cool if I did. If this crossover sounds like your cup of tea, pester me for more
Forbidden Game
Forbidden Skies, see above
Holy Fire (one off, post canon what if) A sort of song fic where Zach thinks way too hard about Jenny and tries to become a magician. I have these ideas about Jenny half light faerie, hence Julians obsession with her. In this fic, Zach is trying to learn magic to protect Julian so FB doesn't happen again. He winds up getting the attention of a light faerie, who tasks him with being Jenny's knight until they're ready to come bring her home. Basically, the song Holy Fire by Seeming wouldn't leave me alone one day and this fell out.
Hearts Desires (complete, 4 chps, post canon what if) Still playing with Zach the magician, this one is meant to be a fairly short exploration of magic/runes, Zach's obsession with Jenny, his inability to readjust after the game, and coming out to himself. And tree sex. It's a weird one. Basically, I woke up one morning with the ending of it circling around in my head, wrote that, and am now trying to build up the beginning so the ending has anything to jump off of for impact.
Summer Therapy Char Exploration (one off) Listen. I want summer to be a character. I want anything for her. I want her to have gone through some shit (she fucking died!!!! it doesn't matter if the plot undid it, SHE DIED. That should matter!!!!). Kind of a run up to the idea that she might ever be the one in LJ's abandoned sequel Rematch! to carve Julian's name back on the stave of life.
Unpublished pre-canon Jenny thing where she's kind of aware of something (Julian) watching her at night (spicy, pester me about it if you're interested) This one I do have plans to publish, I just need to get it (and myself) ready to show to the world. It asks the question "What if Jenny kinda like the idea of feeling watched all the time and deliberately got off for her imagined (or so she thinks) Shadowman?"
#raev does fic#fanfic#hawksong fanfic#nyeusigrube fanfic#the forbidden game fanfic#hawksong#the forbidden game#nyeusigrube#lj smith#amelia atwater rhodes#raev writes
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okay so. first off thank you to everyone who followed along for the hogwarts fic lol
anyways, here are the plotlines/parts that i cut or didn't end up using which i am bummed about but it just worked out better lol.
werewolf enid - the most obvious plot that i had in for the longest time!!! but as you know in the hp universe werewolves are not treated well at all and i didn't really know how to fit that in without making life super bleak for enid. i was planning to have her end up like bill and have scars (like enid's in the show!) but that just felt like a lot too once i thought more about it, like yes she wouldn't turn but i feel like it would have really affected their relationship too much lol? like maybe i was overthinking it cause i was gonna have weds get back to being friends with her by helping brew a potion that would help her feel better on full moons (in this she'd feel sick around it) but that felt like a lot?
actually now i feel like enid being like bill could have worked, especially if that was it - some scars and wolfish cravings, no need for a potion, but at the same time i'm like i feel like enid would be extra betrayed especially when she cares about her appearance so much. unlike in the show she did it on her own (fighting the hyde) versus wednesday lying to her idk lol.
animagus - when i had enid being fully turned into a werewolf wednesday was gonna learn how to become a raven to keep enid company on full moons kinda like the marauders and she spent a whole summer (aka the summer when enid got bit and ignored her after) learning it and enid was actually like wait aww.
quidditch world cup - def wanted to fit this in somewhere!!! as a sports fan i was gonna sneak in so many athletes too lol. like i realized there should have been a mention of it over 7 years - i imagine enid got to go with yoko at some point but it never came up between her and wednesday as much as it would with eugene or pugsley.
ANYWAYS there was one scene where wednesday had a vision of the world cup getting attacked like in the series, and wednesday, who wasn't going to go decides to last minute and goes to find enid who she knew was there. she was going to ask enid if she wanted to sit in the VIP seats her uncle got her, but enid, who she was beefing with at the time, was like no i'd rather hang out with my friends
enid in the triwizard tournament - i swear i had an outline for this but idk where it went omg. but basically enid in the tournament instead i didn't really go anywhere tho lol
both of them in the triwizard tournament - this one was kinda fun omg. wednesday was basically harry. but i wanted the scene of weds saving enid in the water, was like would enid just save ajax then? and the ball? idk lol it got suuuper complicated especially with the ending i figured out anyways
weems shapeshifter powers - i do wish i touched on this more cause its also a thing in the hp universe! and also wish i did more with her parallels to dumbledore - having tyler kill her like draco was supposed to would have been interesting - and could have happened during the tournament or something but they couldn't cancel it bc of the magical binding or whatever so they have to do it under a threat of the murderer lol. but yeah i def wished i used those more, wanted to have her catch wednesday and enid sneaking around or something lol
horcruxes - def had a whole horcrux plot with laurel and tyler but it ended up just being too complicated and wonky. originally she was in bourgin and burkes getting her brother's old necklace which would be a horcrux and the cup would be tyler's or something (since they thought they killed enid) and it would be linked to goody and crackstone like in the show, some bs about a blood moon making a horcrux stronger, etc but yeah it just felt out of place lmao i think laurel just wanting revenge and to kill people seemed to be enough lol
other stuff - there are so many other things in the wizarding world that could have fit into this au that i think would have been fun but ultimately it just didn't work out lol. like there is just so much to work with !!!
#hogwarts au#SPOILERS#the amount of editing and changes this damn fic went thru#writing a long plot like this is so hard never doing it again lmao#jk why am i lying!!!
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I'm reblogging this bc I want it more easily accessible if anyone else wants the reference. Long time summer transtape user (4-5 years now) so I'd like to think I know how this runs by now.
First basics. What is transtape? Essentially, KT tape with a stronger adhesive so it's made for multi-day wear. You can go name brand with it, of course, you can go with anything marketed to cis women as "boob lift tape" (IME this has had weaker adhesive. Worked for one day at the faire last year when I ran out of TT and couldnt get an order in in time but was peeling by the end of the day), or you can find plenty of dupes out there to similar effect. As far as dupes go, I've really been enjoying Wet for Her's Bold Tape in the size large. I've found I can wear it about 3 days (which is when TT starts peeling on me as well), it has a better color match for my cool-toned light skin with its beige color, and it is way cheaper. Downsides are that you have like half to a third of the color options. No matter what product, you're gonna want to use a test strip because you may not react well to the adhesive. This goes doubly for sensitive skin-- of the 3-4 different brands I've tried, I've only not reacted poorly to the WFH Bold Tape and TT official brand.
Now, what NOT to do. This is what trips a lot of people who are used to binding in other ways up I think, and where I messed up a lot at first too. You are not looking to stretch the skin. You are looking to move the mass itself and secure it in place. Let me repeat: you should NOT be stretching the skin itself. There should NOT be tension on your skin. I've found no matter how gently it gets removed, if I apply the tape in a way that pulls tension on the skin itself, I always end up with blisters around the tension areas. This is even more of a concern with sensitive skin.
On the topic of removal, OIL IT UP. Oil will break down the adhesive, so soaking in an oil (I use baby oil bc cheap) for 10-15 minutes before removing slowly and gently with soap in a hot shower has gotten me my best results.
Applying it really is trial and error. Everyone's body is different and best practices will depend not only on your chest size but what you find easiest. Some things are universal though.
1. Prep the area. You can shower first or use alcohol swabs (I use my alcohol prep pads from my hrt kit) but it's important your skin is as free from oils and products as it can be since they weaken the adhesive. I also heavily suggest nipple pasties especially if you're doing this for specific events. They impact how well the tape breathes & dries which I do not like, but they make the removal process later way way better.
2. Prep your tape. The size of the pieces you need is up to preference and chest size, but rounding the corners helps prevent peeling early, especially in areas like the armpit where there's a lot of motion happening. You may want more than 2 strips. I do 2 on each side. More on that in a second.
3. Position yourself and apply it. Again, very body-dependent. I'm probably about an A-cup and have a really narrow thin frame, and I've found my best strategy to be laying down flat on my back. This way when I'm shifting things around and securing them, I'm not fighting gravity. My partner (much larger chest, maybe C-D?, and broader shoulders) and I do find the most effective strategy for both of us in regards to tape positioning is one piece that goes straight to the sides pushing the tissue towards the armpit, and then another from below to lift things up and smooth it out. I hope that makes sense as an explanation? In respect to sculpting a cis-passing chest if that's a goal, doing only one strip to the sides as most of TT's website tutorials go generally makes the center of mass for your pec sit too low/still be too rounded. Doing another strip slightly at an angle from below to help continue shifting out and flattening that lower area has helped a lot with making a passing chest. I can be completely stealth at work with this strategy!
4. Lock it in place. Most all of these adhesives are heat activated, and for best results I've found vigorously rubbing the tape for 20-30 seconds to really make some friction gets the adhesive to apply better and lets me bind this way for longer and leads to less peeling around the edges.
As someone with sensitive skin, I also want to forewarn you of some things. I have never found transtape of any brand not itchy. It's usually fine for the first day or so but on day 2-3 and on I get periodical itches from under the tape. Your skin doesn't get to breathe or effectively shed skin cells while you're wearing the tape. Itching will be way worse if you overstretch the tape/create tension on your skin. Also-- your mileage may vary! Depending on your skin's oiliness or elasticity, the tape may not work for you or work well for you over multiple days. I have really oily skin so 3 days is usually my max before the tape isn't doing what I need it to do. I have a friend with a health condition that significantly lessens skin elasticity, and no matter how he applies his tape he says it gives him blisters.
I know this is an absolute wall of text but there's a lot to know about transtape and how to have the best possible experience with it. I've had a lot of years of trial and error at this point and would love if other people didn't have to waste as much tape and money on this as I had to to learn. If you want references on how the tape looks on a body, let me know and I can dm you (anyone who needs them!) some pics bc I feel my explanation of how I apply the tape was lackluster at best.
anyone have experience with trans tape or suggestions for someone who just wants to try it out? especially if you have sensitive skin? are there specific brands you like (other than TransTape)?
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apocalypse — gojo satoru and geto suguru.
— the extended cut !
wc : 4k
summary : suguru leaves again, the execution date draws nearer, the trio make a binding vow and reader takes matters into her own hands to bring suguru home.
part of : the star paradox collection.
notes : please read this first. HEAVY LORE DUMP!!! flood my ask box if u don't understand bc rlly this is a mindfuck i will indulge u. the binding vow is a very important part of the tsr au and it will pop up a few more times so dw ask all the questions you need to abt anything lore related!
other : wlw shoko as usual, established!poly stsg x reader, mentions of sex, reader's technique is hinted at but not explained, twins make an appearance n strawberry shortcake things <3 (comment to be added to tsr taglist !!)
A wisp of wind breaks through the curtains, window ajar and moon singing in tune with Satoru’s lips against your neck.
The night is chilly, tear stains filling your cheeks in shimmering trails, an arm reaching out to pull Suguru into your chest, fingers intertwined, an occasional plea leaving his lips, like a sob. Save me. Save me. Save me.
Like you always do, save me.
“Never leave,” the words leave your lips in a hoarse whisper, salty droplets leave Satoru’s eyes, dripping down the column of your neck and you sob with him. “Never leave, never leave…”
Suguru can’t find the words, barbed wire enclosed around his throat. He stays purchased on his knees, looking at the sight before him. You and Satoru, so full of each other, yet so empty, so empty of him and crying — how dare he cast his own heart out? How dare he forget that it isn’t his alone? Suguru hasn’t owned his heart in years, no, not since the both of you.
“Where would I go?”
Suguru’s hair tie breaks apart from your grip, and his shirt leaves next. He lets you undress him, he lets you look at him, caked in blood and bruised and broken and tired. Oh so tired.
Second year ended swift, a summer of hurt giving birth to a Spring of depression, the three of you orbiting each other at a distance, occupying the same space but never too close. In fear of snapping the small string of fate that kept you entwined.
By summer of ‘07, you and Suguru nearly forgot what shades of crystalline blue Satoru eyes were.
The last day of August, your soul sensed it a month before Satoru’s eyes coud.
It was September when Suguru stepped out of the dormitory building in the middle of the night, eyes heavy and gaze downcast, ready to leave everything he once knew behind in the wake of Haibara’s death.
You’d been waiting in the courtyard with one of Satoru’s jackets draped over your shoulders.
That night, you let him leave without so much as a hug goodbye, and he was grateful for it.
He took the jacket.
---
“—going to make him execute Geto.”
You don’t so much as spare Yaga a glance, leaned against a wall in the empty classroom, gaze fixed on the courtyard, the leaves falling in slow motion.
“The higher ups are asking questions, name.” He said and if you could find it in your heart to laugh, you would. “Why he didn’t do it when he had the chance, why he let him go and—”
“Are you really asking me that right now?”
Your voice raises an octave, and an unrecognizable heat crosses your chest, like a poison settling deep in your veins.
As if they all don’t know. As if they don’t know why Satoru wouldn’t. As if they don’t know why you turned the other cheek and stayed behind even when you knew where he went—
“Gojo said the same thing.” Yaga sighs, and despite himself, he isn’t blind. But how else was something like this going to end? “I… I can’t imagine how you’re feeling too, but—”
You turn your head away, not even bothering to waste your voice. He’s right. He couldn’t.
But it wasn’t just you. It’s never just you.
“The evidence is irrefutable and it’s out of my hands.”
Why won’t everyone just say what they really mean?
Why won’t everyone be honest?
Maybe then it’d hurt less.
“Talk to Gojo.” He murmurs, reaching out in consideration to scoop up the files splayed across the desk, but you raise a hand to stop him and he leaves them be. “He’ll listen to you, y’know?”
How can anyone ask you to send one to kill the other?
What are you? Weren't you there too?
Why are you always the one standing by and doing nothing?
After Yaga leaves and the door slides shut behind him, your grip tightens on the desk adjacent to you, knuckles bruised raw and fingers trembling. Bile stings at the back of your throat and despite yourself, you fall to your knees and sob.
That night you burn the files with Suguru’s name in bold.
---
Satoru doesn’t sleep.
You count on your fingers each hour you pass him sitting out on the entrance steps, head in his hands and sunglasses missing, replaced by white bandages.
When night falls, he comes inside and tells you goodnight, kisses the side of your head — the closest he believes he can get to you before he lets his infinity go back up.
He sits in the common room until morning, guarding your door. Half of him fears you’ll leave on your own in the middle of the night like Suguru did.
The other half fears Suguru will finally realize you’d have left with him if he asked and come take you.
And then he’ll be the one left behind again.
After Riko, Satoru’s technique was always on.
It’s a defense mechanism.
There were times when he’d forget about it, while you and Suguru slept near him and infinity would dissolve into nothingness, if only for a little while. And for that little while, he’d tell himself if he needed to, he could protect you both without that barrier, that he could be a pillow and a shield at the same time.
The morning after Suguru left, he didn’t know he had it turned on.
His palms were dripping blood, half moons embedded into his flesh from where he dug his nails deep when Yaga called him aside into the hallway to tell him the news. Shoko knew before you, and she tried pulling you back into the classroom but you refused, storming out after Satoru.
Something broke inside you when you reached a hand to pull him back, and the cool barrier met your fingertips.
And for the second time, you didn’t give chase.
You let him leave too.
When Suguru did come back, it was only for four days and a night.
Mimiko and Nanako slept in one of the cots of the infirmary, Shoko popping in from time to time to make sure the girls were warm enough and fed, having already shown signs of prolonged hypothermia and mild starvation.
You and Satoru cradled Suguru in the stairwell at 2am, held him as he passed out from exhaustion, uniform stained with blood.
You didn't ask, and neither did Satoru.
Day four came, afternoon sun hotter than it should be in fall, wind wild and restless.
“Do you believe in that?” Suguru asked, sitting on folded legs on the wooden corridor. For a moment, you think he’s asking himself, with the way he gazes out at the ginkgo trees, watching Mimiko and Nanako run circles around Satoru.
You smile despite yourself, Satoru’s laughs flowing in the wind.
The two of you had been hiding Suguru in the dormitories ever since he came back, allowing him to visit only three places : your bed, the bathroom and the courtyard.
Suguru liked being imprisoned like this. It made him forget.
It made him forget everything he had been feeling for a year and a half, the blood soaking his palms and the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
Even with his pending execution, he’s never felt so free. It's embarrassing.
“In what?” You whisper, taking a seat beside him, one hand propping your jaw up, heels tapping against the edge of the engawa corridor. “Redemption?”
Suguru wants to laugh.
He looks at you, dark eyes glazed over like he’s drunk off something. When you tilt your head to the side, he shivers at the feeling of your cursed energy in his veins.
“Atonement.”
Suguru whispers it like a fantasy, and he turns away from you, his eyes locking with Satoru’s for a moment. “Do you believe in it?”
He wants to say it, I don't need to be saved.
“Geto-san!”
“Come play too!”
He wants to say it, I don't care for redemption.
As long as I'm absolved in your hearts.
Let the world wish me dead.
But not you two.
Never you two.
Suguru stands, a breathy chuckle leaving his lips as Mimiko and Nanako rush over to him in fits of giggles, grabbing onto his knees and tugging him forward.
“No,” you murmur to yourself, watching from afar as Suguru and Satoru both begin chasing the twins across the courtyard. “I don't believe in atonement…”
But I do believe in you.
So if you told me atonement was real,
and that you made your mind up already,
my soul wouldn't need your penance.
Because you're mine.
“He’s gone.”
You’re standing in the doorframe, Satoru’s seated at the edge of the bed.
The both of you are the picture of a perfect tragedy, clothes strewn across the room in a mess, sheets crumpled.
Satoru rakes a hand through his snowy hair. He’s shirtless, gaze directed at the tatami flooring, hickeys trailing across his torso and scratch marks on his arms.
You're no better than him. Suguru’s shirt is hanging off of your body, crescent moons on your thighs and the heat of where their lips were, just beginning to blossom into purple blots on your throat.
“I know.” You whisper, leaning against the wall, heartbeat slowing down to a dangerous pace, you can feel Suguru’s cursed energy lingering here.
“He wasn't here when I woke up.” You can feel the heat of his body, every single ounce of residual…
You think maybe he did that on purpose.
“And the girls?”
“Still asleep.”
Satoru sighs at that, sitting up straight, a sliver of cool air trickling down his spine.
He isn't surprised, no, not really. It's not like the two of you could hide him for much longer. Not with the higher ups expecting Satoru to have been tracking him down to—
It's not even worth thinking about now, is it?
“What a fucking joke…” he scoffs to himself, fat tears collecting in his crystalline orbs, and you're pushing yourself off the doorframe to trudge over to him, finding purchase on your knees in front of him. “I'm an idiot… I should've— God, I should've known—”
But is there really any way he would've?
“You're human, Satoru.” You whisper to him, one hand resting on his thigh, the other pulling his head down to yours.
Ever since the summer of ‘06, the three of you have shared a bed. Most times unintentionally, other times completely on purpose.
Like they say, it's all downhill from the first kiss.
And last night, maybe the both of you were too caught up in touching each other in ways you never had before.
Maybe it was the heat of it all, the type of vulnerability that felt incomparable to anything else.
But once the three of you were bare and learning each other's bodies in a way you haven't before — there was no more thought, no more reason.
You weren't an anchor and Satoru wasn't the strongest beneath Suguru’s touch.
Everything fell apart perfectly.
“It meant something to me,” Satoru breathes, forehead pressed against yours, his tears wetting your chin and cheeks. “It meant everything to me, to us, and he just—”
“Don’t.” You caution him against his thoughts. It meant something to Suguru too. You both felt it.
“Look at you,” He breathes a shaky breath, dipping a hand into your hair, feeling the strands around his fingers, heart pounding. “He’s so sick and twisted… I can still feel him on you.” he squeezes his eyes so tight he thinks he might blackout. “It's like he's still here—”
Binding vows are a pact sorcerers make with themselves or others. Most times for increased strength.
In special cases like these, for intimacy.
Suguru had his head thrown back in a soft cry last night when Satoru put his hands between the both of you and formed the pact into existence.
What had been an idea he held in the back of his mind as a way to protect you both, manifested from his carnal pleasure as the one desire he truly had — to belong wholly to you both.
You sobbed, nails digging into Satoru's arms, the three of you impossibly close as the cursed energy swelled among you, thrumming through your veins and merging with your souls, tugging and intertwining with each other with one common call, I’m yours.
You're mine. I’m never without you.
You're never without me.
Between the heavens, at the precipice of hell and the ends of this earth,
my soul belongs to you.
Three souls intertwined at the cost of what you had valued most in your lives was a small price to pay.
Satoru lost his power.
You lost your soul.
Suguru lost his sanity.
“He knew.” You hug Satoru close as he sobs, pulling him into your chest the moment he falls to his knees. “So he gave us this instead.”
I don't believe in atonement, Suguru.
But I believe in you.
Yet, how can I be content,
if all I get to do is hold you from afar?
I’d rather you curse me.
October settles a deep chill in your bones.
The higher ups have eyes on you and Satoru, going as far to monitor your conversations off campus.
Every day that passes with Suguru not having been executed puts another weight on yours and Satoru’s shoulders, making it evidently clear what your fates are.
Shoko’s med school application gets lost in the mail several times, you and Satoru using whatever money you two have in your names that aren't tied to your clans to rent an apartment somewhere inconspicuous in the middle of the city to keep the twins stashed for a while.
It's hard to keep your heads down, especially when Suguru’s activities have gone radio silent.
Your birthday approaches on a rainy day, Shoko by your side as you cut the strawberry shortcake Satoru dropped off before heading back to the school.
“—said Marlboro reds ‘re better, you believe that?” Shoko scoffed from her place at the kitchen table, lit parliament between her middle and index, the silver blue kind. Her favorite.
“You swear you don't like her but there you go again.” You chuckle, setting down the frosting covered dishes into the sink, a sigh leaving your lips.
“I mean,” Shoko mumbles beneath her breath with a shrug, blowing out a plume of smoke. “She’s alright, y’know?”
You stifle a laugh, turning the faucet on. “Yeah, just alright—” A shiver runs down your spine and you switch the faucet off immediately, bringing a damp palm to the side of your neck.
“Name?” Shoko stands immediately, just about rushing to your side when you feel a warmth spread in your stomach, a familiar feeling like blood seeping out of an open wound.
A feeling you know all too well. A fever dream you’ve spent a month chasing.
My soul knows you.
The feeling passes over you in waves, no doubt via the binding vow, coursing through your blood in soft pin pricks, almost ticklish.
Shoko leans over and presses against your side, eyeing you with furrowed brows. “Name—”
“I’m…” it takes a moment, but a breath you’ve been holding in for so long leaves your lips, shakily, almost like a chuckle. Then you laugh. “I’m okay, it’s good, ‘ko.”
It’s okay.
When the sun begins to set and Shoko slips out, murmuring a soft ‘happy birthday’, you don’t walk her out to click the lock closed, instead, you stand by the sink and finish the dishes, waiting.
Blue skies bleed into orange, a soft gust of wind catching your cheeks from the window. The moment you turn to slide it shut and draw the curtains closed, that familiar warmth settles over you again, and your breath catches in your throat.
“You came,” you whisper, a tinge of dashi and incense crossing your nostrils. Despite yourself, you smile, clicking the window shut, the curtains ceasing in the rhythmic swaying.
“I couldn’t not come.”
“You smell like shit,” leaves you between breaths so short they resemble sobs. “Take a bath with me before you go.”
Suguru’s hair is splitting at the ends.
“How are the girls?” He asks you, water sloshing at the side of the tub, his legs spread wide as you sit facing him, both hands raking through his hair in soft scrubs, remnants of muddy red dripping down his shoulder.
“Still little riots, ‘s hard to keep up with them sometimes.”
“Yeah?” He whispers. “I’m glad. Someone has to keep you on your toes, right?”
You bite back the laugh that bubbles inside you, sinking deeper into the bathtub.
“You can ask about him, y’know.” It’d be such a simple question too. Just as simple as asking about the girls. How is Satoru? Has he talked about me? What has he said? Does he hate me?
“I don’t know if I should.” Suguru scoots forward, the shift causing a splash of water over the side of the tub. Under the water, one of his hands go to your knee, like he’s restraining himself. “Not after what you did for me… I lost the right.”
You pull your hands away from his hair and sit up straight, looking into his eyes, a look you shouldn’t have spared him the first time you watched him leave.
He expects your wrath, expects you to say he should offer up what’s left of his existence and just die already.
Because then, yours and Satoru’s souls won’t be tied to such a wretched thing.
Suguru doesn’t know much about soul links or matters of binding vows, but he does know you’re not the only one who feels when he lingers too close for comfort.
There’s been too many nights he’s laid awake feeling the weight of the Six Eyes boring into him, saying I still see you, you can’t hide.
“I did what I had to.”
Suguru doesn’t believe you. Especially when you look at him like that. Like you actually believe that absolving him was the right thing. Like he deserved to live.
He’d spent nearly two years sending people he didn’t deem worthy to their deaths. He’s been judge, jury and executioner for those weaker than him, those he decided were scum, who didn’t deserve to walk this Earth.
“Does he know?” He asks, leaning forward, pushing your hair to the side, his head moving to lean against your damp shoulder, releasing your knee to bring your hands back up to his hair.
A sigh leaves your lips, fingernails grazing against Suguru’s scalp and he tenses for a brief moment before slumping against you. “No, but he will… eventually.” You say, and he turns to look up at you, shaking his head, a dry chuckle escaping him.
Do you believe in that?
In what? Redemption?
“I didn’t want to lie to him,” you murmur, chin pressed atop Suguru’s hair. “When he gets there, he’ll know it was me. And when he asks, I’ll tell him.”
Suguru thinks maybe you’re crazy. How can you do this for him?
He never asked to be protected. Not by Satoru, not by you, not by anyone.
“It’s wrong,” he whispers. If he can’t tell you otherwise, he’s sure Satoru won’t be able to either. “All of it, it’s wrong.”
“Not if it’s for you.”
Suguru chokes back a sob.
The announcement came the last night in October.
Suguru Geto has been pardoned for wrongful sentencing regarding mission XXX - XXX -
Satoru was on your doorstep the moment the higher ups broke the news to him, a folder clutched in his hand when you opened the door for him and he pushed his way inside with a look of bewilderment in his eyes.
“What the hell did you do?”
You click the door shut behind him, turning around and crossing your arms over your chest. “I didn't do anything.”
Satoru whips his head around, shoving the folder into your arms and you take it, not needing to open it because you already know the contents – every detail on Suguru’s sentencing from the first mission til now.
You’ve memorized it all.
"I believe you,” his voice comes out in a harsh whisper that cuts across your ears like a blade. "I believe you," he repeats. "Because if I try to ask what really happened, and why your residuals are all over that shrine in Shinjuku—”
“I swear to God, name…”
Mission YYY - YY - Y
A group of non-sorcerers showed up dead in Shinjuku near their cult’s designated shrine of worship. The higher ups assumed it was Suguru.
They were wrong.
When the grade two sorcerer sent to exorcise the curses scoured the area and finished the job, they’d find other residuals that weren't Suguru’s. Botched residuals from the morgue you borrowed from Shoko. It’d been so long since you’d even used your technique in that way.
You set it up good enough to force the higher ups’ hands.
Good enough that when Suguru found out what you’d done, he threw up.
“I didn't do anything that wasn't already going to happen on its own.” You sigh, setting the folder down on the coffee table, Satoru’s gaze boring holes into the side of your head.
"Is that what you call it? Because it's only right when you're protecting him? Protecting us?” Satoru shakes his head, hands trembling at his sides because he's caught at a crossroads between the very thing he’s dreamt of and his greatest moral obligation.
“And what did you expect me to do, Satoru?”
Have faith in me.
Trust that I could fix it on my own.
Maybe I could've done it the right way.
“I had a choice, just like you had when you let him go.” Salty tears collect at the corner of your eyes but you blink them away to save face. “How long do you think they would've just let him roam free like that? What even is right anymore in this twisted world?”
Satoru scoffs, a shaky breath leaving him. “You sound just like him.”
He hardly cares much about crime and punishment. But he does believe in taking caring of the weak because he's strong — Suguru said that.
So why couldn't the two of you come to him?
Twice now he's been left in the dark. Twice now he's just had to stand by.
"How am I supposed to just let this happen?" Satoru asks you. He’s not even frustrated anymore, just filled with a feeling akin to despair. "Don't you understand? If anyone else could so much as smell your residuals—”
It would be over. They’d execute you and Suguru right in front of him. And he’d be powerless. Again.
He rubs his eyes and sighs. "I’d have killed them all already if it wasn't unreasonable…”
With a soft breath, you sink into the couch, taking a seat. “No one will know, and if anyone does find out… I’ll take responsibility for—”
“Don't finish that.” Satoru's voice comes out soft, broken, almost weak. He turns to take a seat beside you. “No one's taking responsibility for anything.”
There's a part of you that knows you would've done anything to bring Suguru home.
The moment he so much as looked like he wanted to come back — you didn't care about what he'd done or where he'd been.
Satoru won't admit it, but feeling Suguru’s energy lurking near kept him sane. And drove him mad at the same time.
He’d know him blind, no Six Eyes or binding vow needed.
“I know you wanted to protect him,” he mumbles, a sigh following afterwards. “I know why you did it. And I know— I know I would've helped you if you asked…”
You think about it, pondering all the scenarios where you’d tell him. You’d say, I have a plan to bring him home, and I need your help.
And in each instance he would, he’d be there at the drop of a hand.
Yet, you and Suguru are always shielding him. Most times unintentionally. Satoru is supposed to be the strongest, and yet…
“He’s ours,” you whisper. “He's hurt and alone and different now but he's ours and I couldn't just—”
For once, you couldn't just stand by and be the other.
What are you?
Weren't you there too?
You got tired of standing by and doing nothing.
There's a beat of silence, perhaps a realization of all the things this means now.
But beyond all that weight lies one thing that keeps you both grounded.
Suguru is coming home.
---------------------------------------
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#★ DRIASWRLD#tsr ⭐️#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#satosugu x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#satoru gojo#suguru geto#gojo x geto x reader#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#satoru x reader#suguru x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader
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NOOOO I’m sorry ap calc went bad!! if it makes you feel better I wanted to kms when I took the test, halfway through I was ready to get up and walk out
BUT AP EURO IM SO PROUD OF YOU!! AND ENGLISH!! tbh im more impressed abt those than i am the calculus bc history and English are way more subjective
I read your other post and though I support you and every time I hear abt the stuff you’re doing I’m convinced you’re actually Superman, please don’t run yourself into the ground this summer take breaks I love you <3333
and here is my ask: give me the details how have you been
Hey you got a 4, you don’t get to say that 🤨🤨🤨
Kidding lol, thanks, I really should’ve studied more lmao
Thank you!!!!!!!! I really appreciate that lol, I’m at least happy with my abilities in writing, so that’s nice.
I am not!!! I am an over thinker who, without lots to do, ends up driving herself into the wall with non beneficial thoughts
I won’t, I’ll probably end up hitting myself in the face while procrastinating tbh, it’s a horrible double bind I find myself in.
Ahhhhh okay
Summer was a little boring at first, I’ve actually been sort of putting off college applications even though I’ve really really gotta get to them honestly, essays and everything? Yeah
But I’ve gone to a few movies, and hung out once or twice with friends. I’ve taken up the habit of walking a little to the nearby Starbucks or Walmart and just chilling out for a bit, calm down, breathe, etc.
Agh, there’s a guy I know who’s really nice, really good at crafts, really good with advice tbh, and really great overall. There’s this ever existing feeling of being a teenage girl and liking someone that makes me feel absolutely ridiculous and trivial constantly, every giggle and smile feels scoffed at, and every longing thought makes me feel like a circus act.
It’s wild.
But other than that I’m going to debate camp which is fun :))
Next year is bound to be interesting, I’m hoping to go to New York!!!!! Which will be nice, I’m a little concerned about the logistics of it so I can make sure it works out
But I’m optimistic :))
That’s the most I can think of on hand rn, it’s been a long day lol
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i love the constant feel of dread i get the week before school starts
#kel speaks#im v worried abt my english class#bc the teacher was the head of the gsa last year#and she knows im trans#but nobody else does lmao#so i might be outed#yikes!!#especially during conferences#double yikes!!#but at the same time i really wanna change my name this year#i hate my deadname sm#i try to avoid saying it at all costs#which means i say it like 50 times a day#thanks to luck#and im still hella dysphoric#i haven't been binding all summer bc i was afraid my parents would notice#and i miss it sm#this is the first time in awhile i might actually pass#but i probably won't :/#dont rb
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summer binder picture tutorial
this is the third binder ive made for myself recently and the first one i’m writing up. it’s designed to do a few things: 1) allow me to put it on by myself without dislocating my shoulders 2) allow me to breathe well enough to partake in normal activity 3) be cool enough to wear throughout a muggy 90-100F summer 4) not constrict my ribs in a way that aggravates my lack of connective tissue and causes intense pain.
this has become necessary even though i had top surgery many years ago, because when i had it i was extremely skinny and since then i’ve increased in size by about 50%. this has been really fucking good for my health in every single way* except that when my chest is squishy or moves at all it’s So Goddamn Triggering for me. but also since ive had top surgery ive developed and/or been made away of a plethora of chronic conditions that make every single commercially available binding option medically impossible. unbound, my chest is pretty much what you’d expect for a chubby cis guy but venturing out into the world in just a tshirt no longer works for me
*anyone who badmouths weight gain or fat bodies in the notes WILL be blocked
under the cut are a bunch of process pictures and explanations of what they all mean:
first i’ll give you a look at the pieces and measurements:

most of the seams are sewn in this picture and one half is turned inside out, allowing you to see both the finished dimensions (right) and the placement of the fusible horsehair canvas that gives this lil scrap of linen any structure at all (left)
to get your chest measurement, you’re gonna have to do some math:
first measure above and below what you want to bind. average these numbers. mine are something like 32 and 34, which average to 33. subtract a few inches--this is to allow the air movement between the laces at center front and back, critical in the summertime. i deleted 3 inches bc i like that number but you can go bigger if you want. the more inches you subtract here, the more youll be able to ratchet all your chest material down later, but at the same time you need to leave enough fabric for a sturdy garment. let’s say a range of 2-6 inches/5-15cm. by taking your measurements this way, you’re essentially measuring the chest you would like to have. that + the horsehair canvas work together to compress any squishy tissue/force anything that doesnt compress up and to the outside (basically into the armpit/lower shoulder--the chest might stick out but it will give a very puffed chest captain america pectoral silhouette)
you can also see how ive clipped my curves and pre-drilled my lacing holes. i used the marlin spike on my knife to open up the holes on the interfacing side, mainly as a way of marking them. this worked well bc the interfacing’s glue kept the linen from raveling

this is the same stage but looking at the non-interfaced grey linen/cotton blend (the black is some 100% linen from my cabbage stash). you can see ive broken the solar-plexus-to-back measurement up into a bunch of pieces to save on fabric but that’s not necessary. my original pattern was just two pieces (front and back) and chopping the straps into thirds on both sides was aesthetic
in the following picture you can really see how this is really just overgrown regency stays:

i thought about doing side lacing but didn’t think that would be comfortable for me. on the front, the side seam allowance was pressed inwards before turning to create a finished looking slot. on the back the side seam is left unfinished with an extra wide seam allowance, and is inserted into that slot.
here’s a closeup on it pinned in place (you can adjust the angle of the side seam and the fit during this pinning stage):

that side seam was just topstitched in place once i had the fit how i liked it, and the armhole was reinforced with more topstitching
alright, time for eyelets: first, you can see how well the marking worked:

next, two rows of basted eyelets (left), one row of eyelets sewn with a doubled and waxed cotton thread (center right), and one row of eyelets opened and stainless steel rings placed (right).
next time i’m going to mark the eyelets same as i did above, but do this step differently--i’ll mark and baste the steel rings in place BEFORE widening the eyelets. this is bc i had a lot of problems keeping the eyelets on center

eyelets half done on this one! on the left are eyelets sewn with doubled and waxed cotton thread and on the right eyelets sewn with quadrupled and waxed thread. the center is basting again. i was able to force the holes back in line while sewing the eyelets but it was kinda annoying. adding a second picture that doesnt have great focus but hopefully shows how that process worked and shows the spike clearly


i ended up using this white cotton thread because it’s stronger than my black cotton thread (which the rest of it is sewn with). [eta: after this was first posted, i pressed the whole thing heavily, which effectively de-waxed the thread, and i dyed the whole thing a medium charcoal grey, the thread blends in perfectly on the lighter side and isn’t such a sore thumb on the darker side]
bonus: the piecing layout for that little piece of strap. the whole light gray half of the binder was made from 1/2 of one of the legs i cut off some linen suit pants to make slutty camping shorts last year and i really really didn’t want to break into any of the other three halves for this garment--i have Plans for it

overall the fit of this is incredible. it DOESNT hurt my ribs which every zip-up garment ive been able to find (and it is difficult) does due to really thick elastic at the base. it doesnt aggravate my sensory issues with the synthetic fibers that every commercial option is made of. i can walk up a hill or stairs, or go to pt, without getting too out of breath. i can eat with it tight, or loosen the front easily and without taking it off to make eating easier and less nausea-inducing. it is reversible!
best of all the lacing at the back gives the garment enough movement for me to get it on without dislocating, and the interfacing and steel rings give it structure once it’s on. the shaping comes only from fusible horsehair linen canvas and stainless steel rings like youd use for chainmail, there’s no boning at all, which makes it very quick to sew (except the eyelets, but metal grommets would be sturdy and quick provided theyre of good quality)
there’s a small amount of gaping on the outside of the shoulder strap, which i plan on fixing with a tiny tiny dart in the armpit, i want to add pockets to tuck the laces into, and i need a better lace for the back, but it’s completely wearable in time for the 90 weather next week which is all i wanted. i’ll do a reblog when it’s perfectly finished with an update on the fit but for now it is done enough



the little ridge where it doesnt lay flat against the shoulder is most visible with just a single t shirt over it. with a flannel or a sweater, it disappears, and by itself, it’s hidden in movement
eta: after dyeing this, i relaced it a bit looser in the back and that gape mainly disappeared. ive decided to leave it in instead of smoothing it with a dart because the loose fabric gives space for my chest to expand when breathing and shapes my silhouette in a way that emphasizes my shoulders
#sewing#trans#trans man#binding#body shaping#cotton#disability accommodations#physical#sensory#eyelets#fusible interfacing#historical fashion#regency#horsehair canvas#lacing#linen#lining#new build#drafted pattern#picture tutorial#piecing is contemporary too#stainless steel#stashbusting#stays#structured garment#treadle machine
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Let’s say England has a long-term girlfriend he knows isn’t the biggest fan of marriage bc her family had been really really pushy (before she got the heck out of dodge) about her marrying + reproducing ASAP. How might he react if she came to him and said she was kinda starting to like the general concept of marrying him — that is, the whole ‘together forever’ bit. Thanks!
I confess darling that I have been trying to finish this prompt for well over a year, and I offer my sincerest apologies that it’s taken me this long to finish it. Still, despite my tardiness, I hope you enjoy, and I thank you for your patience with me.
You had never intended to fall in love, not with the constant push of your relatives to fall in line like a perfect child.
First, marriage to someone they deemed acceptable, raising the perfect 2.5 children, followed by quietly settling into parenthood and complaisant contentment until the day you last drew breath.
Truth of the matter was, you had avoided all chances of romance for the first few years after you moved away from home, carefully slipping away from anyone who seemed remotely interested in you.
You knew your folks would have disproved such behaviour had they learnt the truth, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care. You had your own dreams to pursue, your own story to tell, your own life to live; you didn't need someone by your side to feel complete.
You were happy as you were, finding enjoyment in your work and figuring out your place in the world.
You didn’t need, or frankly want, anything more than that.
That was of course until you met him.
Falling in love with Arthur Kirkland had been a complete accident. He slipped past all of your defenses and took up residence in your heart as if he had always belonged there.
It started out slow enough; at first you simply knew him as a familiar face from the cafe in Waterstones, steaming cup of Darjeeling and a chocolate croissant sitting forgotten on the table in front of him, always too focused on his reading to pay any attention to the outside world. After one particularly crowded Sunday afternoon, he began to transition into your favorite dining companion, the two of you often taking turns paying for each other’s food. Slowly but surely, you began forgetting about your books, too wrapped up in conversation, and before you knew it-
You had come to love every part of him- the gentleman that you begrudgingly introduced to your parents, the rebellious and passionate activist, the cocky and playful little shit who had long ago memorised all the best ways to disarm you, and the ancient soul who cared so deeply, who still stretched himself thin most days in effort to protect each of his loved ones.
You fell in love with his voice, whispering sonnets and sonatas and sweet nothings in your ear while his arms cradled you from behind.
You fell in love with his eyes, still losing your footing sometimes when the light caught them just right, dreaming momentarily of summer forests and grassy glades and the misty dews of spring.
You fell in love with his smiles, from the satisfied grin at stirring up Peter’s ire to the breathless wonder each time you kissed or complimented him, to the bright, beautiful, blinding smile he wore when he was incandescently happy, his entire countenance iridescent from his joy.
You loved him completely- for his devotion, for his sweet gestures, for his damned impishness, for his wit, his sass, and the soft spoken affection.
You loved him: for his patience, for his recklessness, for his resilience, for his possessive pride that was somehow more charming than alarming.
He was unique, an enigma that, even after having lived together for years and dating even longer, kept you on your toes, his energy and random spouts of spontaneity proving to you that, even if you spent one hundred lifetimes with him, he would always remain a puzzle you would never fully solve.
And by God did you want to.
Arthur had stolen your heart away from you before you had even noticed he was close enough to take it, offering his own in its stead.
You had remained reluctant, confided in him your fears about settling down, how much you dreaded becoming trapped in a monotonous rut of tedium. He was quick to reassure you, showing through words and actions far more impassioned and teasing than he had ever shown prior, that an eternity with him could never be boring.
Even on quiet days, like today, with a steady drizzle painting the world in greys, Arthur humming quietly while adding another patch to his denim vest, and no other disturbance apart from the cat’s chittering at the robins playing in a puddle by the iron fence- Even now, you weren’t so much bored as you were pensive.
You had been thinking about a future with him a lot in the past few days, some irrelevant ad on your mobile about wedding venues catching your attention and slithering into the back of your mind.
What kind of wedding would he like? Would Arthur prefer something small and intimate, or would his hubris crave a larger venue, giving him yet another chance to prove to the world that he belonged at your side, no one else? You couldn’t help but wonder if he would wear his uniform or a suit, if he would leave the rats' nest he called a hairstyle untouched, or if he would perhaps slick it back in that way that somehow made the normal rakishness disappear, a confident, refined cavalier standing in his place.
You knew of course that none of this mattered unless you actually talked to him first; as far as you were aware, he was content with the current arrangement, and he respected your views of marriage.
He had known, for a long time, just where the grim outlook stemmed from, and he never breached the subject again.
But now-
You had thought it was enough to hold his love, his faith, his vulnerabilities. But life was so fleeting, and now those few things were no longer enough.
You wanted to wake up every morning next to him, wanted the cheesy partners’ towel and flip flop sets. You wanted the physical reminder that you held his heart, the comforting reminder that he completely possessed your own. You wanted to be by his side forever, holding his hand through the good and the ill, facing new worlds and challenges and the uncertain future together.
You knew the risks, of course.
Marriage to a Nation carried an even heavier burden than the simple oath of “till death do us part.”
No, marrying Arthur would mean weaving your entire lives together, binding you on a spiritual level far surpassing mortality; it would mean sacrificing your chance to ever grow old, to eternally give yourself away: heart, mind, body, and soul.
But this was Arthur, who sang showtunes in the shower, who spent hours making silly faces at the cat, who was ridiculously competitive about Halloween costumes, the man who sat down and memorised the entirety of The Tempest in one night just for the bragging rights.
He already owned your heart, constantly invaded your thoughts and daydreams, and God knew he had long, long ago claimed your body, making certain not a single millimeter of his new territory went unexplored.
Would it really be so bad to give him your soul, too?
Glancing back up, seeing his eyes narrowed in concentration, his fingers handling the needle with expert precision, lips slightly parted, reading glasses fallen halfway down his nose-
You knew your answer.
It was always going to be Arthur for you, only Arthur.
Forever, should he have you.
But now you faced the challenge of telling him that.
It should be simple enough; you really held no more secrets from him, and he no longer bothered trying to hide anything from you. You loved how open you were with one another, cherished the honesty that served as the very foundation to your relationship.
But the truth was that you were terrified.
It had been so long since either of you had spoken of marriage, since the topic was even a thought in your minds, and-
What if he didn't want you anymore?
What if he-
"I can see the steam coming outta your ears."
The unexpected presence of Arthur's voice startled you, eyes darting back over to the very man who was unwittingly tormenting you.
He had barely moved from his earlier position, though his glasses had been pushed up into his hair and he was studying you curiously, if not bemusedly.
"You good there?"
By default, you nearly responded with an affirmative, some playful, lighthearted thing that would have dismissed his concern immediately. You cut yourself off mid-start, then, while shifting to sit properly in the armchair, you decided to push forward. "Can we talk?"
You watched as his expression shifted, revealing his concern as he tied off his thread, setting aside the patchwork and gestured for you to join him on the sofa.
There were a few awkward moments where you took up your favourite positions, Arthur tossing an afghan across the pair of you despite your insistence that you didn't need one, the flicker of a grin as you begrudgingly thanked him, and then shifting around as you both got comfortable, but soon enough-
"Alright, now; talketh at-eth me."
It was impossible to fight the smile his choice of words triggered, a reference to an inside joke so old now that you could scarcely recall its origin. Seeming to deem it a success, his own soft, reassuring smile greeted you.
"Seriously though, luv-" His hand came to rest atop your own, his fingers gently tapping a familiar rhythm against your skin. "What's troubling you?"
You were half-tempted to offer something short of sincerity, something innocuous and mundane that you could both laugh over and forget again within a few hours. Yet, you knew that if you didn't tell him now, didn't ask him now, you would never find the courage again.
"I've been thinking-"
"Ah. A scary premise in its own right."
"Oh, shut up," you retorted to his tease, smacking his arm for his troubles. He rewarded you with a grin, all fondness and mischief. Opting to ignore him, you pressed on, eyes downcast to avoid whatever judgement he may offer.
"As I was trying to say earlier, before I was so rudely interrupted-" The teasing fell off, and the worry crept back in. "I've been thinking. About us."
"O-oh?"
Were you not so consumed by your own anxieties, you would have noticed his stutter, would have seen the sudden tension in his posture, the fear in his eyes. As it was, you were completely oblivious to all of it, and made yourself continue at his prompting.
"I- I think I'm ready."
He mimed the word "ready" to himself, parroting it with utter befuddlement. "For wha-"
"I mean, I know I wasn't for such a long time, and-" Suddenly, you were off, half unhinged. Now that you had admitted the truth aloud, it was all rushing out of you, everything you had come to love about him, everything that-
A finger pressing firmly against your lips stopped you mid-tangent, and when you glanced up to find piercing, blazing emerald focused on you as if you were the very center of the universe, whatever remained of your ramblings disappeared entirely.
"What are you trying to say?"
A simple question, so easy to answer, yet it carried with it the weight of Infinities, demanding nothing save the truth, in its most basic state.
You were lost in his gravity, half-drowning in whatever this new feeling was. It was addicting, another riddle to be solved.
"Marry me."
Time stood still, the words weighing heavily in the space between you, now seemingly insurmountable despite being no more than mere decimeters.
Arthur showed no reaction, revealed no indication that he had even heard your plea, your query, your command, your request, and yet it echoed over and over in your own mind, the tone, the weight, the untimeliness-
Every facet- from your inflection to chosen tempo- crescandoed as an accusation, a mocking symphony that he would reject you, that you would be left with only the haunting strains of your ill-conceived proposal.
And yet-
There was a hesitation in his eyes, the face of a man who wanted wholeheartedly to believe what he had heard, but had been burned far too often in the past to dare allow himself hope.
"You-" His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed as he studied you once more, only for the suspicion to disappear again almost immediately, disbelief swiftly taking its place. "You're serious?"
It was then that you finally read his nervousness, understood the strange emotion reflecting in his eyes.
You had lead him to a precipice, the vast Unknown before you both, and-
And he was just as fragile as you were, even if he was better at hiding it.
You gave his hand a light squeeze, hoping to ground you both, and offered him a nod. “If you’ll have me, anyway.”
His eyes flickered between your own, darting back-and-forth so quickly in search of a lie, of any doubts, of any hint that you were less than certain- yet you knew he would find none of that.
“What about your family?”
The question took you by surprise; in the moment, you had completely forgotten anyone else even existed.
You weighed his question carefully. Marrying Arthur would give your family leave to gloat in self-satisfaction, and you knew with absolutely certainty that they would hold it over your head for the next three decades. But looking into the eyes of the man before you, remembering all that you had already seen and done together, you found that others' opinions no longer mattered, really hadn't mattered in a long, long time.
“I couldn’t care less about them. Arth-”
Whatever you were going to say was forgotten as he closed the remaining distance between you, moving so swiftly that you scarcely had a moment to steady yourself before he captured you in a searing kiss, one of his most passionate by far.
Somehow, despite the suddenness of it all, the initial force, the intensity-
He was being incredibly gentle, and moving slowly enough to almost be more a torment than a treat. Almost.
You found yourself lost in a daze when he finally pulled away, just enough for each of you to catch your breaths, just far enough that he could study you with rapt attention. You could have drowned in his eyes, endless greens magnetizing in their intensity. His hands were still cradling your cheeks, still holding you firmly in place, a not completely foreign expression creasing his features.
You couldn't quite place it, even as your memories shifted desperately in search of its mate.
"'If I'd have you?'" His words, a rhetorical refrain of your own mere moments earlier, were scarcely a shared breath between you, murmured in timbre so low it summoned a shiver. There was the smallest twitch of his lip, his head tilting ever so slightly as more of that damned deviousness made its presence known. "I fully intend to have you regardless, luv. But the formality of it all certainly adds a particular je ne sais quoi, wouldn't you agree?"
You'd be damned if he knew just how that made your heart flutter, if he knew just how much weight that reassurance had lifted from your shoulders.
Carefree, content, you offered a playful smile. "Till death do us part then?"
Arthur no longer bothered trying to restrain his smile, soft and sincere in a way that left you breathless. "I'll love you till even the stars go cold, my dear."
Thanks for reading~
#england x reader#aph england#arthur kirkland x reader#hello lovelies~!#hws england#hetalia england#aph arthur kirkland#hetalia arthur kirkland#hws arthur kirkland#reader insert#hetalia x reader#hello lovelies!#readerfic#thanks for reading!#aph england x reader#hetalia england x reader#hws england x reader
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some updates to be made
- i’m in a committed longterm relationship with a cool sexy and cannot stress this enough REAL thembo yay
- moved out of my abusive home summer 2021, moved apartments twice since bc bad luck with roommates, but roommate number 3 is cool, plus me and my thembo are gonna start saving to move in together yay
- my first spirit companion (A) turned out to be a scam (figured that out when after 2 years and 4 other companions i still could not feel or interact with that one, and i check up on the blog and discover some red flags that i wasn’t experienced enough to recognize before) oh well, growing pains and all that
- i am not too disabled and chronically ill to work. no idea what’s going on because there are no doctors taking patients in my city. guess i just have to hope i’m not dying. good news is, i’m only a part time crutch user now! probably going to need a wheelchair eventually because my whole body is weak and in pain now, but until i can get my health sorted out, crutches are doable.
- my partner taught me that there’s actually a term for my belief system (i forget what the term is, but if anyone curious, my stance is that all deities are real as long as there are people who believe in them. i would like to also clarify though, that i don’t support the appropriation of closed practices and cultures. just because they’re all real, does not mean they are all for you *cough*white people and wiccans*cough*)
- i’ve been learning about the bible on my own a deconstructing a lot of my religious trauma (still think priests are violently sexy though rip, i guess you could say i have father issues ;) )
- my apartment is super fucking cursed bc of my roommates ex girlfriend. like stubbornly cursed. i’ve been here 6 months trying to get the beings out and the spells broken and they just won’t fucking go.
- still do occasional work with Hades and Loki, but i haven’t felt as much of a pull towards them lately, though they are still very important to me and i don’t plan on ending our working relationships any time soon. Loki has been a wonderful sibling and friend, and Hades will always be the father that accepted me.
- feeling a pull towards luciferianism again, but gonna actually do proper research this time so we don’t have a repeat of last time (breaking news, 14 year old “satanist” tries to summon demons and ends up with a black figure in the corner of his room watching him sleep every night bc he’s an idiot, also leaves the religion upon realizing that the group he was apart of was wildly antisemitic (funfact that experience is why i no longer work in groups, no antisemites for me thanks!!!))
- don’t do reality shifting nymore bc that shit is a cult and also doesn’t work, and also in hindsight was actually dangerously bad for my mental health (constantly dissociating, delusional, + family history of schizophrenia)
- mainly focusing on spirit work now bc why are all my spells so chaotic help
- i don’t to pop-culture spirit work/paganism anymore bc i had a not great experience, but y’all are still valid bc i can’t really have the belief system i have and then pick and choose what counts as a deity, not rly how that works imo
- gotta update my blogs bc i’m no longer a tahno simp (rip in peace, still simpin in my heart)
- also not an update but this has been bothering me. hey non indigenous practitioners, PLEASE STOP RECOMMENDING AND SELLING W*NDIGO SPIRIT COMPANIONS YOU IDIOTIC FUCKS, i don’t care how strong you think your bindings are, your inflated ego and ignorance is putting others in actual danger (love, an actual ojicree person who has experienced the all consuming hunger and destruction those spirits bring and had family driven off the reserve by it)
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Wouldn't mind some meta WRT Harriet Bree or Marrow Amin.
i have a certain fascination with the actual place of the AceOps within the Atlesian military structure. we know that they’re considered “elite” military operatives and that Ironwood was the Simon Cowell to their One Direction. we know they’re Special Operatives who answer to other Special Operatives--Clover “led” them while he was alive in a way that feels...different from the way team leaders in the show usually lead, and Marrow calls Winter ma’am.* the only other Operative we’ve seen in the show is Cordovin, who (according to season 6 commentary) everyone in Atlas found annoying, but also got a very cushy position as colonial command while Harriet and Marrow spend their days elbow deep in Centinel slime, so like. what gives? i do wonder if the reason they were selected was just Semblance complementarity and i dunno, being extra down with fascism, or if they were also chosen because they lacked certain “desirable” attributes--species, birthplace, family, temperament, what have you--that would have fast-tracked them for command positions, like Clover and Winter clearly were. it’s possible that the AceOps Unit is more of a...model minority purgatory:** glamorous on the outside but full of dirty and dangerous work, and no actual upward mobility.
it’s certainly not required that this be true in canon, but i do think it fleshes out the characters, and adds some dimensions to how Atlas is fundamentally shitty on every level.
it would, for example, heighten the stakes of Harriet’s refusal to grieve--now it’s not just years of indoctrination telling her she’s not allowed, now there might be material consequences if she ever externalizes her grief as grief, instead of this like. strident and furious professionalism. it’s not just that Tortuga was replaceable; it’s that they are, at all times, essentially fungible. if she shows any weakness, she might be out the door. this dovetails perfectly with her hyper-competitiveness as seen and remarked upon in season 7: Harriet needs to get ahead, because it’s the only way she can feel secure in her own position, away from precarity and feeling. in a sense Harriet’s not dissimilar to those dipshits who are against student loans because they paid off theirs already, because it’s the same feedback loop. she’s trapped in a system that’s deeply unfair to her, and her first instinct is to win, and once she’s won it’s clear that the system actually is perfect and fair.
but there’s also clearly a part of her that DOES care about other people--within her own allowable boundaries and without. her conflict with Marrow would have come to a head already if she didn’t care for him in some bizarre, fucked up way. she could have ratted him out to Ironwood for the way he’s been holding back, or she could have just given up on him altogether and let him hang himself by his own insistence on doing the right thing, but instead she just...negs him at every turn and unfairly, cruelly, demands that he improve by falling in line, because in her mind she’s doing it for his own good.
or one of my favorite subtle moments so far: when they touch down at the tundra to meet (and arrest) JYR. Jaune immediately asks for their help, and Winter...balks, and then Harriet looks at her like this:
and THEN she jumps in to antagonize them. when she was beta-ing “no one brought us here but me,” Leah commented that my scene with Harriet and Winter at the hospital reminded her of Adora, Catra, and Lonnie in the Horde, and i haven’t been able to get that out of my head, because that’s exactly what this look encompasses. Harriet knows that you have to fight and claw your way through the system to survive, to be just a little less replaceable than the next person; she knows that EVERYONE is replaceable, and therefore she shouldn’t care. but at the same time: she’s gonna protect what’s hers, and for the time being Winter is her teammate. so she looks at Winter and thinks fine, you’re clearly not ready to put on your big girl boots for your sister’s friends yet. fine. i’ll be the bad guy this time. i’ll cover for you, cut you off at the pass, before you say something that compromises all of us.
loyalty is inextricable from complicity in Atlas. we know from Winter that having doubts is allowed--hell, it might even be encouraged, since it provides a nice alibi for one’s humanity--so long as you don’t actually deviate from the ~right path. and more often than not it’s your teammates and co-workers who keep you on that path, who surveil you and remind you--forcibly if necessary--of who is signing your paychecks, and who hasn’t replaced you yet. Harriet says she had RWBY pegged from the start, and honestly? i believe her. it’s not like anyone on that team is hard to read. she knew that they were cut from the same bleeding heart cloth, but as long as they didn’t do anything stupid Harriet was willing to work with them, and even like them, because that’s how things work in Atlas. when Elm says “you don’t have to understand orders, kids. you just have to follow them,” it’s not just mindlessly repeating ideology, it’s a subtle warning to toe the line for all their sakes. they keep each other loyal, which is a loyalty of its own. they watch each other’s backs, both on and off the field.
which i think is why they all (but especially Harriet and Elm, who had been the most friendly AND the most vocal about How Things Work) felt so personally betrayed by RWBY. in their mind, they’d done their best to acclimate these children to the best way to make it through Atlas alive, and in return the kids spat in their faces by rejecting the system entirely--and they KNOW what happens when you try to do that. in Harriet’s mind the kids have already become more people for whom she cannot grieve, because they’ll be replaced soon, and she has to take them out.***
which makes this:
...this is a serious breach of trust.
on one level it’s not like. a SECRET that Winter’s the Favored Kid, and just a little less dispensable than the rest of them, but to have her rub her white girl privilege in Harriet’s face like this, in front of EVERYONE--that must sting, especially since Harriet had been doing her (very unique version of) best at supporting Winter like any teammate should.
on another level: Winter is pulling rank to commit treason, which is such a bullshit bastard thing to do, because it puts literally all of them in a double bind where if they defy her it’s insubordination, and if they DON’T defy her she’s dragging ALL OF THEM down with her. trust a Schnee to take advantage of the system and leave them holding the bag, right? Winter’s rejecting the system with one hand and using it to forcibly conscript them along with the other, and for--what? one kid’s life? the Right Thing? doesn’t she know that as team leader her first responsibility is to her team, and that loyalty matters more?****
it’s a much worse betrayal than Team RWBY, because Winter’s one of them, but she’s the one tearing the veil right open, she’s the one saying “i don’t care about the system anymore, and i’m willing to game it to drag you along.” Harriet’s been trying to win this thing--this illusory thing that can never be won, where the threat of being replaced can only ever be delayed but not completely outrun--and here comes Winter, who in Harriet’s eyes has pretty much won already, and she says: guess what? it’s all bullshit. i’m the bullshit queen of this bullshit ride, and i’m gonna use my bullshit power over you so we can flip off this entire caboose.*****
so how is Harriet going to react? it’s entirely possible that she’ll double down, and try to go over Winter’s head to Ironwood--keep playing the game, knock Winter off her perch, maybe even take her place. Winter’d deserve it; she was the one who fired the first shot, while Harriet’s been loyal in every sense of the word. but my guess--my hope--is that she’ll choose differently, because she’s not the only one processing this. some members of her team--the people that she cares about despite knowing that she shouldn’t--are less invested in the system than she is. some of them are bound to realize, especially once it sinks in that they’ve been sent on a mission where there’s no coming back,****** that Winter’s not the only one who can decide what matters and what doesn’t.
the day you recognize your cage is the day you begin setting yourself free. they’ve already disobeyed one order, and even if they hadn’t--Ironwood’s gonna replace them all anyway. if they’re gonna proceed with the bomb plan, they don’t have to do it for any reason but their own. or they don’t have to do it at all! it’s treason all the way down, for all of them, and they can decide to each do what they think is right separately, or...they can, for the time being, stick together. watch each other’s backs, so that they all have a better chance of survival.
in a way, it’s what they’ve always done.
*which can i say is fucking absurd given the age gap between the two--like, imagine watching an upperclassman graduate and then after summer break she strolls back into the Academy and is all “i’m actually Dean of Students now” and you’re just expected to nod like yes this is a normal thing to happen
**yes i KNOW that Marrow is the only minority technically bc color-based racism doesn’t exist on Remnant let’s say that everyone else is from Mantle or smth and lemme have this fanwank
***given that the Specialist program has been operating for...well, as long as Cordovin has been around, i wonder if there are any jaded washouts, or people who grew a conscience. i wonder what happened to them if there are, and i wonder if Tortuga was one of them.
****but the thing is: Winter doesn’t. Winter is one of the very few characters who has never been shown as part of a team of peers--even Ironwood got that, as part of the Ozluminati. the only other major examples i can think of are...Salem, who has a team but no peers, and Raven, who had a team but left it. Winter probably had a team at one point at the Academy, but it’s conspicuous that she doesn’t have one now. i’m not gonna get into it because this ain’t about her, but this is another example of Winter’s flaws somehow compensating for her other flaws--if she HAD bonds with teammates, it would be much harder for her default to doing the right thing, consequences be damned.
*****”just a lil bit tho!!! haha please don’t tell my dad”
******do the AceOps know they’ve been sent on a suicide mission? i think they don’t yet, because i think they’ll work it out onscreen, and i don’t think Winter’s gonna tell them.
#Anonymous#rwby#harriet bree#just to be clear: the aceops SHOULDN'T stay together after this#marrow in particular has every right to ditch these motherfuckers#but for the time being? they probably will remain a team#anyway this is SO SO LONG ANON YOU HAVE MY CONDOLENCES#you know that rwby is escapism bc we're all waiting for cops to realize they're bad people and...actually change their behavior#helen writes meta
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2020 fic roundup
howdy pardners 🤠🤠 in order to procrastinate more writing here’s my list of all the fics i posted this year (sorted predominantly by ship and mostly in order of posting) - ft a lot of dabihawks and a surprising amount of todobaku lmao. oh and my personal faves are **starred
dabihawks (x)
a lesson in romantics (x) - 66k across 4 fics - the collection of standalone memory loss fics! canon divergent and centered around either dabi or hawks losing their memories thanks to the wonderful commission :) some solid angst and getting back together content, always happy endings!!
haven’t had enough (x) - 5.7k - silly little quirkless au where dabi goes to claire’s to get his ears pierced. multiple times. bc hawks is hot
last of the real ones (x) - 2.6k - less silly, just as little, set in canon-divergence bc i couldn’t get the idea out of my head of dabi getting red wings tattooed on him before ever meeting hawks
**dancing after death (x) - 25k - one of my faves from this year, a canon divergent sort of getting together story involving nightmares, some bad burns, and a bit of dancing
if you fall (hold my hand) (x) - 7.4k - canon divergence (bc apparently i’m a slut for that) and some hurt/comfort, ft a bit of makeout-level spice
no shame (x) - 16k - ah, and here we really dive into the ‘crack treated too seriously’ category, where the league sells feet/hand/misc kink pics to fund their activities and dabi has some photography skills and a wing kink (or maybe just a hawks kink)
broken parts (x) - 23.9k - i stole my own idea for a vigilante!hawks from my tiktok, then twisted it into a severely angsty (with a happy ending) hurt/comfort fic intended to break my own heart and piece it back together. it worked
freeing icarus (x) - 1.8k - the first fic without a happy ending i think i ever wrote, because the canon dabihawks fight actually broke me. some dabi introspection
**to the stars that burn (x) - 3.9k - the second fic without a happy ending, based more around childhood friends dabihawks working at the commission together. bittersweet but without much sweet
**king of disaster (x) - 119k+ - i poured my entire soul into this series, a fantasy au where dabi accidentally binds himself to hawks (an absolute stranger) and shenanigans ensue - this has also evolved to include todobaku, shinkami, and kirideku
enemy of my enemy (x) - 2.6k - a quirkswap space pirate au that truly tested my ability to write action scenes, part of the random prompt collection i did during october 2020
without a fight (x) - 2.2k - a rival band au ft singer!hawks and a grumpy dabi, another of the random october prompts
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todobaku (x)
like i’m bakugou (x) - 2.1k - it was supposed to be a MEME based on a TIKTOK but i made it kinda serious....and here we are. todobaku on a froyo date
take a bite of my heart tonight (x) - 5k - VAMPIRES lmao. honestly it was a blast to write tho lmao
**if we go down, then we go down together (x) - 9.3k - tdbk get stranded on a deserted island bc tropes are fun lmao. also todo tries to freeze the ocean like elsa which i think is where my writing skill peaked
cold rebellion (x) - 4k - quirkless au where its HALLOWEEN and theyre in a CORN MAZE and they don’t LIKE EACH OTHER BAKA (part of the october prompt fic collection)
make it spicy (x) - 5k+ - predominantly todobaku with a healthy dose of dabihawks and some shiggynatsu as well, a bakery and nightclub au (yes u heard me)
**stitch me up (x) - 35k - todo gets split into both halves of his quirks, sort of, and baku has to deal with it (and i love this au so much i had a blast working on it)
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bakudeku
rescue me (x) - 11.4k - basically the concept of ‘what if baku and deku were actually childhood friends tho? aka some good wholesome content
**into the dark (x) - 3.3k - afterlife au and originally part of the random prompts, baku didn’t survive the sludge villain incident and deku’s been carrying that weight for a while. and then he doesn’t survive a villain encounter...keep an eye on this one cause i’m working on a part 2 lmao
are you with me (x) - 2.1k - future fic where baku and deku are both heroes and, appropriately, the wonder duo. lil angsty but ofc a happy ending, part of the random oct prompts collection
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todobakudeku (x)
**kintsugi (x) - 117k - future fic where they’re all UA teachers, with some established todobaku + todobakudeku getting together, a lil sprinkle of erasercloudmic, a nice dose of shinkami and some great shiggy redemption arc + eri attending UA content
reunion (x) - 1.8k - another future fic lmao with some getting-back-together content. part of the random october prompts collection
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kiribaku (x)
rewrite the stars (x) - 2.8k - also a mina&kiri friendship fic, a soulmate au where kiri doesn’t get the soulmate he was hoping for (part of the oct prompts collection)
the mystery gang (x) - 4.1k - tell me how i wrote this much about a scooby doo-styled fic concept lmao. anyway, part of the oct prompts, includes some bakusquad shenanigans
wasteland, baby (x) - 4.5k - bakusquad bodyswap post-apocalyptic au and yes it’s just as chaotic as it sounds lmao. part of the oct prompts collection
like the sun (x) - 2.8k - the beach episode + baku&mei friendship (which i learned is called kat and the hat???? adorable) fluffy content, part of the oct prompts collection!
something sweet (x) - 1.2k - the actual kiribaku prompt i got lmao. coffee shop meets scavenger hunt, we adore a grumpy barista baku lmao. part of the oct prompts collection
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todokami/todo&kami
oh, worm? (x) - 16.5k - it was supposed to be a joke but oh my god i love the idea of both todo and denki being memelords and falling in love with each other over it
secret tunnel (x) - 3.6k - conspiracy theorist todo meets conspiracy theorist denki in college au format and it’s really just top tier content imo - part of the oct prompt collection
all i want for christmas (x) - 3.5k - it was supposed to be a crack concept but as per usual it became less cracky the longer i thought about it. todokami fake dating babeyyyy - part of the oct prompt collection
**hydrangea (x) - 2.9k - soft todo introspection about his lil dragon hoard of things that make him think of his friends, which he decides to share with denki
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shiggynatsu (x)
**death of summer (x) - 28k - the first fic i ever wrote for them and the most chaotic meeting i could come up with within the realm of canon divergence lmao. todofam hosting...shmigaraki
terrible people (x) - 960 - a lil babie established shiggynatsu fic about shiggy’s bday, basically just soft and wholesome - part of the oct prompt collection
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shinkami (x)
don’t want to say goodnight (x) - 3.2k - kyouka pov on a shinkami getting together lil thing that lived in my brain rent free for a long time
don’t want to say goodnight (x) - 1k - yes i’m aware i see what i’ve done lmao i see the mistake i made. anyway this one is villain!shinsou and villain!denki so it’s like,,,,,the slightly spicier version. part of the oct prompt collection
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other
**twelve over, seven up (x) - 4.5k - a bit of aizawa introspection after oboro’s death, bittersweet but mostly wholesome
a danger and a wonder (x) - 2.4k - mina&tokoyami friendship and bonding over mina’s kid and hawks’ kid (who tokoyami is babysitting) - part of the oct prompt collection
fish and feathers (x) - 4.1k - my chance to flex my remaining runescape knowledge to have jirou and denki friendship via the interwebs content
a name freely given (x) - 4.2k - shigadabi fake dating royalty au where shiggy’s fae? sure why not lmaoooo. part of the oct prompt collection
kabloom flower shop (x) - 2.8k - a wrong-number tattoo shop/flower shop kirikami au that was lowkey hilariously fun to write. part of the oct prompt collection
awake me from my nightmare (x) - 2.3k - the only fic i’ve ever tagged with mcd, an among us au of all things. baku&uraraka friendship and betrayal, part of the oct prompt collection
**for the record (x) - 2.1k - shiggy&dabi...allianceship? sort of? lmao they’re angel and demon, spies, and part of like a rebellion thing. and they don’t like each other which is always fun! part of the oct prompt collection
a different kind of hero (x) - 1.1k - established tododeku future fic where todo just got his quirk stolen (and deku already lost his in an afo fight), mostly bitter with just a tiny spark of hopefulness. part of the oct prompt collection
forget me not (x) - 2.1k - kiri&uraraka friendship, amnesia and artist au like i really went off here but it was so sweet and wholesome and i had a great time. part of the oct prompt collection
**lightning in a bottle (x) - 4.5k - chaotic kamibaku getting together but they’re WITCHES it’s a MAGIC AU and BEDSHARING IS A THING. part of the oct prompt collection
passing notes (x) - 1.6k - shiggy&eri friendship which is a thing that would be hilarious if it happened in canon tbh. part of the oct prompt collection
no turning back (x) - 6.5k - shiggy&deku friendship but make it royalty au and a 5/1 trope just for kicks lmao. part of the oct prompt collection
worthy adversary (x) - 1k - baku&shinsou friendship/childhood friends au that deserved more than 1k lmao. part of the oct prompt collection
together (x) - 3.2k - denki&mina friendship but they’re allied with vampires to fight some werewolves bc why not right? also lil taste of shinkami just like tiny bit for the flavor™. i should really do a bit more with this au huh? part of the oct prompt collection
a good thing (x) - 1.2k - shinsou&aizawa friendship? fathership? sonship? u know how it is lmao. a little sprinkle of shinkami for the flavor. part of the oct prompt collection
brighter than the sun (x) - 730 - can u tell i don’t usually write miritama lmao. some soft parallels bc they are soft. part of the oct prompt collection
try again (x) - 1.4k - dabi&shouto siblingship but dabi can time travel bc i said so (actually bc the prompts said so but whatever lmao) part of the oct prompt collection
that’s it lovelies!! nearly 600k this year and some of my favorite fics i’ve ever written, and i cannot begin to thank you all enough for your incredible support, i adore you all so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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👀 I noticed you followed the author I mentioned, care to check out the newest fic they posted? 👀 also also, christmas headcanons? :0
Hey! Thank you for request ! I don't know if you want Tsumitsu so when in doubt I did general hc on all the characters, but if you want Tsumitsu in particular tell me and I'll do it again ^^
I haven't read her new story yet, but it's in my Bookmarks ! As soon as I have a little time I'll read it ! :D
TBHK CHRISTMAS HEADCANONS
It's Christmas ! They are all having a great family celebration
It’s Sumire’s birthday too (not the real date but I like to think she was born on a holiday)
Tsukasa eats mistletoe
He also plays with garlands and almost electrocutes himself with the string lights
Teru has a horrible Christmas sweater but he thinks he's on top of fashion with
But no, tell him no
Besides, he made sure to match his sweater with his siblings
Mitsuba cut Nene's hair shorter
Mitsuba wears a golden garland instead of his scarf
Tsuchigomori tied Hanako's tie knot
Tsukasa couldn't tie his tie on his own so he had to ask Sakura to do it for him, but Natsuhiko said he took care of it.
Think for two seconds that we've never seen Natsuhiko with a tie, why? He just doesn't know how to tie a tie
After an hour he gave up and he ended up putting on a bow tie and suspenders in Tsukasa instead.
Aoi and Nene both have candy cane earrings
Kou makes the meal
Teru wanted to help him, but we kindly sat him down at a table instead
" NO ! OUT OF THE QUESTION ! WE WANT A WARM PARTY BUT NOT A FIRE !!! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN NOW "
Mitsuba stole the star from the tree bc: "I am the brightest star in this room! "
Akane and Amane argue over who is more beautiful between Aoi and Nene
"Yashiro is so radiant that she could replace the star on the tree! "
"Well, Ao-Chan is so bright she shines brighter than all the fairy lights on the tree! "
Then Aoi and Nene said it was Teru the brightest in the room
So we tied Teru to the top of the tree to light up the room instead of the star
"We" in fact it was Akane and Amane out of revenge
Tsuchigomori is disguised as Santa Claus
Teru taught him how to make a good "Heave-Ho!" "To stick to the character (but Teru remains the God of "Heave-Oh!")
He also smokes in a pipe with candy cane color
"WHO PUT A FIR BRANCH IN MY PIPE ??!" "
Tsukasa beheads gingerbreadmans and glue them back together to make characters with multiple limbs / Heads
Sakura is sitting by the fire reading a large, beautiful, ancient storybook with sumptuous gold bindings
Natsuhiko had put mistletoe over her chair before the reception
He was going to go under to try to kiss her but ...
Tsukasa comes running ahead of him (dropping the mistletoe in the process) because Sakura is reading Christmas tales and he ABSOLUTELY wants her to get him over it
Mission failed.
Kou, Aoi and Nene distribute Christmas hats to everyone
Hanako put on a Christmas hat over his own hat
At one point Amane asks Tsuchigomori to do Christmas carols on the piano (I like to imagine him playing the piano, the flute and the saxophone) and he manages to convince Yako to sing too.
She has a beautiful voice, she looks like an angel
Then after she clinks glasses with Tsuchigomori
Then they toast once again to their sucks
And again, they drink again!
Okay, by then they're both totally drunk and Tsuchi ’dancing rock with Yako
Flash Info: Music is a slow
Lemon improvised himself Dj, besides his turntables have a lemon motif
Mitsuba eats all the coconut rock fereros (Rafaelo I think?) he can find, anyway nobody likes it so it's okay
Tsukasa and the Mokkes steal the mandarins and papilottes which are placed on the guests' plates
There are firecrackers in the wrapper paper but they don't make much noise: Tsukasa is very very disappointed
So instead he hides behind Mitsuba and explodes crackers behind him to scare him
Almost all the gifts are for Aoi or for Nene
In fact Akane and Amane made a competition to find out which one would give the most gifts to his sweetheart
Perfect equality
"Hanako-Kun ... Did you really get me a Daikon plush ?! "
Aoi received ALL Pandora Hearts, Vampire Knights and Black Butler tomes from Akane
Natsuhiko also gave Sakura a lot of gifts, but they were mostly books.
He gave her some handmade silk gloves too (Mitsuba gave him the patterns and he managed to sew them himself, it's wobbly but it's pretty anyway and Sakura likes them a lot), a pretty refined and expensive tea set, and books on medicinal plants, on precious stones and on healing but he also offered her science fiction books because he knows that she is secretly a fan of this kind of reading
Sakura does not show it but she is very touched, especially since she had never spoken about the fact that she has a weakness for science fiction books.
Sakura gives Natsuhiko a kiss on the cheek
Simp.Exe stop working
"There was mistletoe above us, that's the tradition"
She gave him a dangling earring with an amethyst stone (I can say more if you want but the meaning of the amethyst is based on a hc of Sakura that I have, if you want hc a this to better understand why this stone, ask me ^^)
Nene gave Amane her rocket keychain, lost about 50 years ago
Hanako remains silent then he hugs Nene, he almost cries
Akane offered Hanako milk
“It's good for growth"
Kou gave him a cat ear headphones
And Sumire gave Hanako a bell necklace
"I AM NOT A F****** CAT! "
"Hanako-Kun… You meow while sleeping and sneezing…"
Tsukasa donated handmade pottery to everyone
He accidentally broke one on Amane's head
"My head is… Spinning… Ho I see… The Stars… THE STARS, BROTHER! THE MOON IS NEAR! "
But he offered Yaoi to Mitsuba while whistling
Mitsuba turned all red and stuttering after that
Hanako gave Akane a math manual with his name written on it
"But ... is this my manual ??? It's been something like… Seven months since I look for him! "
"Yes, I thought you would be happy if I gave it back to you for Christmas"
Teru gave everyone the lobster plush toys he won this summer, his stock was too big for Tiara's room (which by the way is really big for a little girl room!)
Aoi gave Nene pretty hair clips and Nene gave her some lily seeds
Sakura gave Nene gaiters and an hourglass and Nene gave her a set of tea scented with autumn flavors and a scented with flavors of winter
The Toilet Trio donated cups to Tsuchi ’
Tsuchi' and Yako both treated themselves to first-price perfumes found in supermarkets
He also gave her a fake fox fur to annoy her
Yako bought her a ferret, (don't ask me why I don't know, she thought it was a good idea)
So now we have Tsukasa and Mitsuba running behind the ferret to play with him since half an hour
And Hanako wants the ferret to be called "Rocket"
Sumire received luxury jewelry, clothing, shoes, fan and perfume
Tsuchigomori donated a telescope to Hanako
Kou received overalls, a multicolored sweater and items and clothes with egg designs on them
Mitsuba received a mirror and polaroid paper for his photos
He also got a whole bunch of kawaii items and clothes with peaches, including an orange skirt and a pink winter dress with soft faux fur.
And Mitsuba gave everyone the same thing: A photo of him with a cute face: “So am I not the most beautiful of gifts? UwU "
Lemon offered Akane a Netflix subscription, but he plans to squat his account too
All the gifts that Lemon has received have… Lemon… designs.
"We should stop the joke one of these days guys, once it's going but every year it gets long by force ..."
Someone (obviously unconscious!) Offered a jumping stick and stilts to Tsukasa, who had the wonderful idea of combining the two, before eventually dashing headfirst into the table.
A little more and he landed in the fire ! ! !
Akane donated a plush, a Hawaiian shirt, glasses and a pen all with pineapple designs for Teru
Teru gave him some sushi candies to make together
He also gave her a watch without hands because: "You don't need any object to tell the time, after all you're a bit of a clock yourself, aren't you? "
"After the party we'll have to throw out the tree, but do we throw Teru with the tree too? "
I hope you like it, I took a long time to write it <3
#mitsuba sousuke#sousuke mitsuba#mitsuba#kou minamoto#minamoto kou#kou#teru minamoto#minamoto teru#yashiro nene#nene yashiro#yashiro#aoi#akane#akane aoi#aoi akane#yako#tsuchigomori#amane#amane yugi#yugi amane#jibaku shounen hanako kun#hanako#hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jshk headcanons#jshk#tbhk headcanons#toilet bound hanako kun headcanon#sakura
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