#bc they hated the fact that i liked SO and supported the devs

[apathydot-com]

Idk why but I'm paranoid about the wdy fandom here for some reason like I just feel like someone's gonna cause drama here and shits gonna hit the fan and it's gonna be like wdy twitter

Idk man I'm just scared I don't want there to be drama again...

[cravingpepsimax]

OK SO i wanna talk about . the Impact of dipper working w bill to make a portal. specifically on him and mabel's relationship

bc, like. as much as i love mabel. girl is, in fact, selfish. and it is a reoccurring problem in the series. and she would probably hate the fact that dipper's paying less and less attention to her -- esp since there's an implication that mabel didn't really have any friends back home. so she'd constantly be trying to drag dipper away from his studies

this annoys dipper beyond belief. mabel knows about bill -- they're even friends, they like how weird the other is -- but mabel doesn't really Get It. much less the goal of dipper's studies. but he decides to tell her anyways -- i mean, what's the harm, right?

mabel is... confused. but ultimately supportive!... at. first. but dipper gets deeper and deeper into his studies, sacrificing more time together with his sister to either study or sleep, and mabel feels so alone. mabel's TRIED to help before, but none of this math-y science-y stuff ever clicked for her, and she can tell she's hindering more than helping.

eventually, they have an argument. mabel feels like she's being left behind, while dipper's like "this is the first thing i'm NOT sacrificing for you and it's THIS IMPORTANT, you have NO right to be upset!"

if we're going FULL stan & ford estrangementcore, maybe mabel does. something. not immediately, i don't think she's that impulsive, plus i'm unsure at what stage of portal dev dipper would be at, but it'd be. slow. mabel trying her best. it not being enough. her being meaner to bill when he's around. stuff like that

[6kuros]

As a fellow creator who is also disturbed and upset by the revelation of pizza tower being a product of 4chan type people, I'm wondering how you handle it? I still want to draw fan art but Im struggling to not get uncomfortable. Basically, I have both love and hate for the game now, and you seem like a cool person so Im wondering how you deal with that. Love your pizza tower fan art sm btw!

im really glad that you enjoy my art, and also am flattered you think im cool!!!

first of all, id like to mention that the art i posted just now was art that i had finished last night, before everything about mcpig came to light and i just wanted to post it since i already had it done…still unsure if im going to draw consistent pizza tower in the future honestly, id like to because its a lot of fun and i really do love a lot about the game. ideally, the current situation would change somehow so i can do that without any discomfort for myself or others, but the only way i foresee that happening is if the devs actually remove the racist shit from the game

what makes me feel (kind of) okay about producing fanart for the game despite what emerged is mostly the fact that as long as i am not reproducing the harmful contents of the game, nor directly supporting the people behind it, im not putting any harm into the world or perpetuating the 4chan stuff i guess? the only thing im really worried about is possibly getting people to want to buy the game by putting my fanart out there, but considering the games popularity from streaming and youtube videos i dont see my own art as contributing to that much. that makes it easier for me not to feel unsettled when i draw fanart for it, but i think that depends on how you view the relationship between fanart and source material, especially in an interactive space like the internet. if you think your art risks sending the message that you approve of negative aspects of a piece of media then its probably better not to share that art

theres also the fact that from the messages that were revealed i get the impression that at some point mcpig had a sort of disdain for "cringe leftists" being fans of the game i guess, and i would consider myself someone who he would/would have found cringe at one point lol. so by being into the game its kind of a fuck you idc that you hate me, this thing you made is being enjoyed by cringe leftists. considering the tone of some of the messages was "if people get mad at me im just going to be edgy in response" i dont even think disengaging with the game would even bother him at all. but all of that is really just speculation and i dont want to insinuate that engaging with bigoted media is proactive just because you are a marginalized person or have progressive politics. its important to actually weigh the harm of your actions and what effect you have with your consumption of said media i dont really know if thats a good answer though, and if it holds up to any sort of moral judgement. i do think its possible to enjoy problematic media, but considering how new the game is its not the kind of thing i can look at and be like "this piece of media is from x years ago and doesnt do real harm now". my worst fear is that there are pizza tower fans who are going to see the awful shit in the game and replicate it, bc the game somehow makes them thinks theres nothing wrong with it or that they can do so without consequence. just from a scope of the fandom there seem to be a lot of young teenagers so Yeah. im concerned in that regard and id like to beam a message into kids' brains thats just like Hey this character design/behavior fucking sucks Dont do this

so, by posting my art anyway i hope i can contribute to a portion of the fanbase that is outwardly against the bigoted content in the game, as an alternative to mcpig dick riders/defenders. and if there are any fans out there involved in the community who dont know better, hopefully they can learn, and avoid perpetuating bigotry

all that being said, your feelings on the matter may be very different, and you dont have to abide to any of this thinking. if a piece of media is upsetting you, its okay to step away from it as long as you need. maybe see how you feel when you come back to it and if the hateful feelings are still there, there is no obligation to engage further

(and as a bottom line if anybody reading this is considering playing pizza tower i suggest you pirate it instead of paying for it)

[kjclfaller]

Cough cough cough cough leaks spoil hype send post

[grittyreadsfic]

jonas/nico/jack anon here again.... god i feel like i have to put on a suit to pitch this idea bc it's just so..... it's been sitting in a (very long) note on my phone for WEEKS bc i'm too scared to give it Actual Document Privileges(tm). canon-vaguely-compliant... jonas and nico have been fucking around for a while and are just starting to figure things out between themselves. jack has been (checks notes) an absolute idiot and has been flirting with his captain hopelessly for years.... and somewhere along the line started to get feelings for jonas too and now he's confused. PLOT TWIST this is all from jonas' pov bc he can see that jack's rookie year puppy crush on nico has blossomed into something so real it hurts, and nico's too far down in his captaincy denial hole to realize that he likes jack back. jonas, while being the sole non-idiot here, has to play fixer upper with half of the devs leadership so no one explodes and he's so endeared by the idiocy of the other two it's sweet. there's this one scene that i have bouncing around that kind of started all this.... picture this: early in the morning, jonas stayed over at nico's bc nico hates sending jonas home after they have sex, and nico's phone rings. it's jack. nico's been stressed recently and jonas wants him to sleep, so he picks it up, pulling on clothes as he answers. jack's very clearly not having a good time (jonas has noticed that he's seemed a little off recently but hasn't known how to approach it), so jonas does what he does best: comforts a number one draft pick on the devils. jack comes over and just cuddles with jonas on the couch and talks about everything that's been bothering him (he misses his brothers, he misses ty, he's getting assists but he can't seem to score a goal for the life of him). jonas realizes, somewhere in here, three very important things. 1) the fact that jack and nico have been dancing around whatever tension is between them for so long is finally getting to jack's head. 2) fuck jack likes jonas too, doesn't he? jack's heart was always too big to hold love for just one person. and 3) jonas finds he doesn’t mind being seduced by little americans with smiles almost as big as their ego. jonas wants to talk those through with jack, to give him some reassurance.... then nico walks out of the bedroom, half naked and clearly well-fucked. jack connects the dots and does the very mature thing by running away immediately. jonas and nico talk some things out, have a very pensive and thoughts-of-jack driven round of early morning sex, and then get ready for the day, etc, etc. okay look my note on this is STUPID long and my beta needs a break from my usual bullshit, so sorry for dumping all of this on you, but i also figured you might understand the (clenches fist) visceral amounts of FEELING these three give me. i hope this was at least somewhat coherent lmao? tl;dr jonas is jack and nico's support system so they can all go out and support the rest of the team and i need to write this for the sake of my own emotional comfort. hope you have a wonderful day <3

i literally don't even know where to start like this is just so excellent on so many levels it has been running through my mind all day like i cannot stress to you how !!!!! i am about this

first of all jonas and nico fucking around: yes exactly!!!!!!

i love that this is from jonas's point of view, because i feel like the Fond, Exasperated feelings he'd have towards both of them would really just make it in this kind of set up (at least for me personally)

also rookie year puppy love crush on nico so true!!!!!!!! really love the vibes of the characterizations i'm getting from what you've said, too, btw like absolutely excellent!!!!

GOD THE SCENE. JACK RUNNING. JONAS FIGURING IT ALL OUT. also i the positive thoughts of jack driven round of morning sex.....you are speaking my language okay it sounds so good??? so perfect for the three of them and their dynamic???? like not only is what you're saying coherent it is incredible and i (selfishly) really hope you end up writing it because wow do i want to read it so bad!!! (also....if you wanted to talk about it some more....my dms are open like 👀 👀 👀 👀)

i hope YOU have a wonderful day <3

[lochnessies]

@cockati3l the church isn’t ruling people from behind the scenes. even the devs confirmed that. the church in adrestia doesn’t exist, the church in the alliance is ‘toothless’ and nobody pays attention to them as said by lorenz, and the western church is in open rebellion against the central. also, when does the church control anybody in the game? nobody is forced to follow them and they even take on nonbelievers as staff.

once again, what corruption are you talking about? it can’t be what edelgard mentions in her speech because that’s been proven false.

it can’t be killing the western priests because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af

it can’t be changing history a little because in your own words “what the fuck so u want her to do?” humans killed her race when they found out the amount of power stored in their bones, blood, and hearts. at that time in fodlan’s history clans were fighting for power with the relics of her family and she had to find a way to broker peace as said by intsys: “seiros and co. meddled with history not in order to rule over humans, but to quell the flames of war and chaos as much as possible, and to also keep a steady balance about humanity.”

also yes, rhea was about to step down. she says so herself. even calling herself a “mere proxy” for byleth.

tell me how claude piggybacked off of edelgard’s war to further his own aims? the game tells and shows that he’s spending his time trying to just keep the alliance together.

she’s literally called the hegemon. there is no freedom under her rule. she centralizes all power onto herself and makes herself the supreme ruler. what she says goes and in order to achieve that result she murdered, lied, and stole.

she literally said “i have no regrets.” why? because she doesn’t. she may feel kinda bad about all the dying but obviously not enough to stop what she’s doing and find another path.

also her words about the followers of seiros are far from kind. she calls them “mindless” multiple times (even in her s-support). the faithful are forced to flee from her. people even lose contact with the believers in the empire, and it’s not even allowed to be one in the first place. not to mention in hanneman/manuela’s ending the church can come back but only under the empire’s supervision. so we have a state controlled church. look at all the freedom!

when does dimitri leave crestless people to get fucked? he literally talks at length that he believes that people with crests and people without need to work together and recognize each other’s strengths.

also the church isn’t the one behind the “crest system” (if you can even call it that since the way each house interacts with it is so different). crests/clans became noble houses because of their strength (aka the empire’s meritocracy in the beginning) and the strong aka crest bearers rose to the top bc in the 91 years it took to kill nemesis his elites had already started their own bloodlines and families. the nintendo interview says that rhea lied about the origin of the crests and relics bc she wanted the wars to end and the only way to have gotten rid of the crests humans had would be to genocide them.

with nemesis gone and the adrestian empire now in charge of the continent, a meritocracy started to form among the nobility. hanneman in his support with dorothea says this about the founding of the empire: “consider this. at its inception, the concept of nobility assumed that the greatest among the populace would rise to power. in my mind, i believe that those who value knowledge, those who strive for more, and wish to protect and guide their fellow man. however, in practice, nobility often serves to keep those deemed commoners down, segregated from those who, by chance, were born to a noble family.” this is also paired with ferdiand’s support with edelgard: “certainly, we must recognize the common folk who strive for greatness and attain it. but for those of us born into nobility, things are more complicated. from birth, nobles must excel. if we do not, we will be forced out of our houses. this environment breeds superior individuals, and they, in turn, recreate the rigorous environment for their own children. without that cycle, there would be no political elite guiding the world towards prosperity.” so from these supports we learn that the empire was founded on the idea of the strongest shall rule and they would be replaced if they didn’t reach a standard. however, over time, the nobility started to abuse this power of theirs and the idea of meritocracy was forgotten. which, ironically, is how it always works in the real world as well. that’s where the concept of nobles often bearing crests comes from. it’s comes from the empire not the church. and when faerghus and the alliance break off from it they kept the tradition. also, if you talk to rhea in verdant wind when she talks about zanado you can tell she hates crests. at the very least she hates the fact that humans have them due to how they were acquired. you know, through genocide. it’s also in the book of seiros that the reason the goddess left was because people were abusing crests and it saddened her and she went back to the blue sea star. so no, the church isn’t propagating anything. and they can’t force the noble houses to adhere to their religion so they don’t.

i’m not sure what you mean by “squander any rebellion”. i think you mean squash/stamp out? well the only rebellion we see in the game is from the western church and as i said previously, the priests were punished because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af. the church wasn’t the aggressor and only stopped the rebellions because they were dangerous and were also attacking innocent people. however, we do know that in crimson flower there are rebellions under edelgard’s rule and they are put down as well by the empire secret police aka hubert.

the devs also mention that azure moon was written to be a counter to crimson flower. and that is the route where dimitri has to learn to rely on his friends and work together with his people in order to usher in a bright future. in crimson flower edelgard berates people who lean on anybody else for support (all while taking some from byleth) and believes humans need to stand on their own two feet. in azure moon she says: “if after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves.” to which dimitri responds: “yes. perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. but you cannot force that belief onto others. people aren't as strong as you think they are. there are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. you path will not be able to save them. it is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.” so yes, there is someone who represents human unity in the game: dimitri.

edelgard doesn’t make fodlan better. she’s the game’s hegemon (called this in three routes). there are rebellions under her. her people are starving (ashe says on cf), she attacked two nations she had no rights to, and defamed an entire race/religion.

crimson flower ends in flames and darkness. this is made VERY clear by the ending mural. unlike the others, which all show a very joyful scene; am has dimitri being loved by the people with archbishop byleth at his side, ss has byleth being held up in the crowd of people as it talks about how they are now the arbiter of every soul and mother of all life (which are the exact words used to describe sothis), and vw has claude talking with the people and the almyrans are visiting; which infers peace between the two nations. however in cf, we have edelgard standing on the flags of the nations she has conquered. she holds a napoleonic staff in her hands, and the mural portrays people with their heads bowed in obvious sadness and defeat. the biggest indicator that this is not an ending to be celebrated, but rather lamented, is the border. In all the other endings, the border is white and is accented by the color of the route. in cf you can see that the border is black. black and red: colors synonymous with evil or darkness. the epilogue also mentions rebellions against her rule that she has put down.

edelgard’s role in the story is that of nemesis 2.0. someone that is manipulated by twsitd and is fed false information to lead her to finish what nemesis started over a thousand years ago - the extinction of the nabatean race.

another massive red flag is what the devs have said about crimson flower being the supreme ruler route. “edelgard in "crimson fower", or rather known as the, "supreme ruler (hegemon) route" is something we honestly meant to be much more difficult to enter.” (they were talking about why it is harder to enter cf than ss). let’s focus on the word ‘hegemon’. the direct definition is ‘a supreme ruler.’ in another interview they mention the ‘hegemon’s path’ which is a chinese philosophy that goes along with the mandate of heaven that the devs have said that they based cf off of. there is a rule of the mandate of heaven: the right to rule is only granted if the ruler cares about his people more than he cares about himself, and if this is not the case, then the people rise up to overthrow the tyrant. we know for a fact that edelgard is this ‘tyrant/hegemon’ because she is called this in the game.

the devs have also said: “due to all the previous titles in the series, the thought/impression that the empire = antagonists is left upon the playerbase. when you think about the "empire", you usually get some sort of "bad/evil" image, i think. and as for the story, it really feels like it started from the romance of three kingdoms, but we force them all to take part in school life. In other words, a period in which there was peace must exist, before starting the fires of war. and because of that, someone evil (villain) has to exist, and so we had the empire bear that burden.” this interview also blew the common argument pro-empire fans had of fodlan not being at peace at the start of the game. they said themselves that the three countries were at peace. even the game states at the start that ‘these three ruling powers now exist in relative harmony.’

also even if other characters did some things wrong that doesn’t suddenly let her off the hook for her actions just like her’s don’t nullify theirs. if she wanted to peacefully change how things worked in her nation then fine. i don’t care. however, she invaded two other independent nations in order to change their systems and put them under her control. that isn’t morally gray no matter how you spin it. it’s tyrannical.

actually it was humans as a whole who fucked up the earth first. the agarthans are a race of humans that have been around for over a thousand years at the start of the game. when the goddess sothis came down from her home on the blue sea star she arrived in fodlan and took on a form that resembled humanity and lived among them. she used her blood to birth a race of children called nabateans. in the beginning, these two nations lived in harmony.

sothis and her children helped the humans advance their technology and weapons over time until the humans’ hubris grew to the point that they began to wage war on each other and eventually the goddess herself - the one who gave them the technology to do so. as confirmed by seteth, (who was there during that time) some of the weapons they used in the war are also seen in the game, such as the missile of light that destroys fort merceus. so basically, it was a ye olde nuclear war that almost completely destroyed the land and the humans. during this, a faction of humans left the surface to live below ground. they built a city called shambala and officially became known as agarthans. back on the surface, sothis used her godly power to try and heal the earth. however, due to the incredible damage done by the weapons, so much of her power was used that she fell into a deep sleep to try and recover. so no, sothis didn’t fuck shit up. it was the arrogant humans that took her kindness and decided they wanted to try and kill each other with it.

yes, dimitri and claude do have the rest of fodlan under their command at the end of the day. however, they way they achieved this was nothing like edelgard’s. they had no intentions of starting a war to unite the three under their rule. dimitri was given the alliance (the round table came to an agreement and willingly became part of faerghus) and when he kills edelgard the empire is now, by default his whether he likes it or not. same with claude. he defeats the empire which by that point had taken the kingdom. both are now without leadership and he doesn’t even stay. he fucks off to almyra. edelgard on the other hand started the war to put all of fodland back under her rule. it’s not comparable.

[revunant]

Name: jack

Age: 23

BASICS :

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: gay

Zodiac sign: gemini/capricorn/leo, waiting to be told what that means

Taken or single: single

THREE FACTS :

1). back in 2020 i got hit by a car on the way to get chinese food, bounced off the hood, and just kinda continued on my way to purchase chow mein with a couple cracked ribs. i have come to understand that a combination of several units worth of spiced rum, and a deep hunger for fried noodles, is a recipe for mario-style invincibility.

2). i like 2 sing, and play piano and guitar. i long to own a hurdy gurdy. if i had the energy for it i’d love to write + record some songs but i rarely get any further than a couple of verses in, so instead i joke about having a mountain goats tribute band called The Cave Sheep. i can definitely play+sing enough TMG songs by heart to do a full set right now at this fucking moment. maybe two full sets

3). i wanted to be a forensic scientist, then an entomologist, and then maybe a forensic entomologist. however, what was probably rampant adhd (still undiagnosed lmao) struck and i failed out of all of the required subjects, so now i have an illustration degree. i aspire to be able to support myself with printmaking and doing illustrations for peoples TTRPG projects because I am a fool

EXPERIENCE :

How’d you start: so i thought the answer was deviantart (where i started with jean) but upon starting this i realised it wasn’t. it was a Death Note iOS app that for some fucking reason was connected to the internet so it was basically a forum. i’m so glad the shit i did on there is lost to time. cringe culture is dead for everyone but me

MUSE  PREFERENCES :

Female or male: male bc i’m a man and i’m gay but i still love my girls and nonbinaries. i just have a lean. 

Favourite face: uh uh uh uh [panicking] im very attracted to dev patel i think he has a very nice face. this is a weird question but that is my answer

Least favourite face: i hate looking at jk rowling more than anyone else i think

WRITING PREFERENCES :

Fluff, angst or smut: all of em. i dont like endless barrages of angst (hurt with no comfort makes me sad), i have to be in a certain mood to write smut (not like that), and i dont like excessively mushy cheesy unnatural-feeling fluff (slice of life or bust). i like em all though. i guess angst is what i get most excited to do but again it has to be in moderation.

Plots or memes: memes. plotting is fun in theory and i like it when i get going but i’m incredibly brain empty and bad at gaining plot momentum.

[shame-kink]

ok i actually unfurled my “receipt” talons but this person is an incest apologist and you should fucking block them. shit under the cut

ok i went to check them bc i basically go to check *everyone* now (regaurdless of if their points are good or bad. like having a shit awful opinion is inherently suspicious -duh- but i’ve been around the rodeo enough to know that holding people i agree with to high standards is actually fucking reasonable bc without it you get the fucking ocean of incest wierdos who giggle and traipse through the transgender aisle at the supermarket) and like. one of the first things i *see* (without having to like. search.) is:

and like. this sets off alarms immediately bc this person is reacting this dramatically to a claim that like. not all, not most, but *some* kinks are “disgusting”. i’m pretty sure even legends of the “kink” world would still agree that, yes, *some* kinks are disgusting. its not that hot a take. And while i *get* that they’re trying to say that whatever kinks this person is alluding to in particular aren’t disgusting, WELL, UM, LETS JUST actually i took a look further down the blog at this point in the “””””investigation”””””” and like 

i already left commentary in the thing itself. like i do *get* it, the fact that stardew valley is trying to be inclusive by having all the romance options be available to everyone, or fucking fallout 4 is trying to be woke pogchamp by letting you “romance” as many people as you want, while simultaneously never fucking once giving lip service to the *existence* of us homos, is in fact actually fairly dehumanizing (though my reaction to such is based almost entirely in how much goodwill i have towards the developers, stardew valley dev yer ok and its not that big a deal, monster prom i hate your explanation that you used in marketing years ago when you just could’ve said that you won’t have any gender specific romance options and left it at that but yer Alright, fallout 4 die in a hole for literally giving the protagonist a requited happy suburban straight marriage and yet having tons of journos at the time praising you for being progressive and queer-friendly die die die die in a hole), but good fucking god OP of this not all stories centering solely around bi/pan/mspec women are doing that *for male gaze* and phrasing it like THAT is effectively repeating the “available to men” rhetoric that treats bi women like god damn grocery store zucchini FUCKING *ANYWAYS* BACK TO THE INCEST SHIT

ok so at this point i just search incest on the blog. its super easy as a way to vet people since theres a lot more people around in the same spaces i wind up in who are willing to offhandedly support *that* than some of the other pervert shit (probably because defending the fetishization of children or dogs is a angrier bees nest than even the bigger wierdos are willing to swing at lmao). 

i don’t have much to say about this one i just think the way the person frames their laughing about all this is fucking weird. the screenshots kinda confusing (also terrible quality sorry) but everything about “tumblr is the funniest etc etc” is screenshots, and unless i’m *completely* misunderstanding the order of operations here Beaky is the transmasc exclusionist (??? exclusionist against what. excluding transmascs???? are they a trans masc who excludes???? what) and the pink anime girl bitch is the “trans lesbian (why are you bringing up the persons orientation unless yer taking this as some sorta attack on trans women thinkingemoji) who did incest roleplay with her partner” . its framed fucking weird and also yeah sure “calling for the death of a trans lesbian” is when someone says that a proudly, shamelessly incest glorifier should be put on a “block/kill list” (noteworthy thing that totally isn’t a turn of phrase born out of frustration with this shit- ALSO I SHOULD ADD THAT I HAVE NO CLUE WHO ANY OF THE INVOLVED ARE SO WHILE I OBVIOUSLY CONDEMN THE BROTHERFUCKER I DO *NOT* NECESSARILY ENDORSE THE OTHER PERSON LMAO) 

ok now these are actually just acting like being against the fetishization of incest is puritanical

AND LIKE WHAT IN THE GOD DAMN IS THIS, THE OP GOES AT LENGTH TO SAY THAT THE CALLED OUT PERSON *APPROVES OF “ADULT, CONSENTING” INCEST* AND THE REPLY CGFORESKIN IS AGREEING WITH IS TALKING ABOUT THIS BEING MORE ‘FRAMING ALL TRANS WOMEN AS PEDOPHILES’ SLANDER. i don’t even know if the OP of that is operating in good faith or not but the fact that they’re all perfectly fine with completely skipping over incest is cartoonish. and given the rest of this shit i’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt. 

honestly just doing this because between here and my nsfw twitter experience theres way, way, WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too many people in “progressive, trustworthy, we’re all a bunch of solidarity-loving queer folkz” spheres that seem way too comfortable cozying up to fetishes that like- kinda are actually inherently bad. 

[mistresseast]

can you explain in more detail why you think the PT weren't good friends for akiren? i'm not asking out of hate or to start drama, i just never interpreted things that way and i'm genuinely curious. i don't think them being brainwashed by maruki makes them "bad friends", but i don't know if that's what you meant either. i'd love to read a proper explanation on this that isn't just people arguing in the notes of that post.

Hi! Yeah, I know the ~discourse~ climate is pretty touchy and not a good place to exchange ideas, so I’ll do my best to put my thoughts on this matter into words. 

Settle in, bc this one is long.

I’ll start off by saying I don’t dislike the PT, nor do I think they’re bad people, and honestly I think they love Joker a lot! Ryuji calling Akira after his fake death and talking about how his ideas on what makes a hero have changed because of Akira genuinely makes me emotional, along with dozens of other scenes with the thieves! They’re good kids who could be really good friends to Akira but that’s not what’s shown in the game. I don’t think it’s controversial to say Akira’s relationships with all of his friends are transactional. That’s kind of the point, all of his confidants arise out of deals, give and take, and in the metanarrative of the game, that’s how it works. You as the player help these characters solve their problems, and through ranking their confidants up, you get access to more gameplay perks. So it’s pretty even!! But like,,Akira, the character, isn’t the player. There’s no in-story mechanic by which he can cash in friendship points for being-good-at-killing-things prizes. Yes, he uses those abilities to not die in the metaverse, but there is no literal, in-universe way to explain how hanging out with someone translates to [insert gameplay perk here]. So you have to look at what is physically happening in the story. Akira hangs out with the PT, stands there while they have drama with another irrelevant character, and then one way or another their problems get solved and they swear to be Akira’s blood brother or whatever. Akira is a crutch for these characters, and they say multiple times that they wouldn’t have been able to do what they did without him. So all of their shit gets handled and Akira gets?? Like actually gets?? What? Inquiries about his well-being? Offers to help him? Questions about his life, his interests? No,,,not really,, But he gets access to a super powerful persona!! Yay!!! Bc everyone knows he’s just a little shadow-killing machine, right? And even the relationships he does get something tangible (as in separate from the mechanics of the game) out of, like Kawakami’s, are built on the notion that if Akira stops providing for whatever reason, the relationship will end. So essentially, Akira is under the pressure of filling whatever role his friends need him in for however long at any time, and he’s been led to believe that if he stops or fails, he will stop receiving any reciprocal care and acceptance.

(And I know this is all gameplay stuff, I know it has to be like this to codify the complicated process of human relationships, I know all of that, I’m just trying to find a deeper layer bc that’s what I do.)

This whole thing comes into pretty clear focus for me during the third semester when you visit everyone in the false reality. Everyone is happy to see him, of course, but they’re clearly wrapped up in their own happiness. Which is understandable, again, I’m not saying the PT need to be attached to Akira to be good friends, but it all still feels off to me.

If they know Joker, then they’d know it’s weird that he just shows up and starts asking these pointed questions while they’re in the middle of something. All of their other interactions with him have been led by them. Yeah, Joker approaches them bc the player has decided to hang out with them, but the other character always chooses the activity and leads the discussion. Akira showing up out of nowhere and asking them to “remember” and “move on” and whatnot should be raising some major red flags. And it clearly does, since their memories do start to return, but they’re all too scared of losing their happiness that they nope out of the conversation as soon as possible, without stopping to consider why Joker might be trying to reach out to them like that. They’re his friends; they should know he wouldn’t just be trying to hurt them or make them unhappy. After all, their entire relationship with him up til that point has been exclusively about Joker trying to help them. This doesn’t make the PT bad people, running away is a totally natural reaction in that situation. They’re just kids, and their minds have been manipulated to a point, but it’s not like they don’t remember Joker or the way they’ve grown since meeting him. In fact many of them mention how much they’ve matured recently, but they never actually relate that back to Akira, despite him being the primary driving force behind most of their personal arcs, even though they definitely remember him. Translation vagueness or deliberate nod to the idea that the PT don’t actually credit Akira with all the hard work he did after their initial lip service? Hmmm. Anyway, their failure to recognize that Joker is struggling just demonstrates to me what was set up all throughout their confidant links, that their relationships are transactional and that they don’t necessarily consider Joker and his individual needs outside of what he provides for them. And when they no longer need him bc that hole has been filled, he simply doesn’t occupy the same place of importance in their lives. 

Makoto’s flashback in particular stood out to me, bc it was from a moment where she was specifically talking about feeling like she finally found a place to belong with the Phantom Thieves (and by extension, with Joker), but then she desperately tries to brush it off. Obviously that sense of belonging wasn’t meaningful enough to her for her to want it back. And I’m not blaming her, of course, any teenager would choose to have their father back over being in a vigilante group lmao, I just thought it was telling that the devs decided to show us a scene that was originally meant to be heartwarming as an example of the harsh reality Makoto wants to forget. All of the flashbacks are from defining moments for the thieves, but that one specifically got me like *thinking emoji*

So his friends are hesitant, despite the fact that they must know something is wrong. It’s understandable, they all stand to lose a lot if someone messes with the status quo. I genuinely don’t think I would react any differently. But there is someone who reacts differently and against his own self-interest. It’s Goro, the one who has arguably the most to lose, who doesn’t turn away from Akira. He seeks Akira out and teams up with him to uncover what’s really going on, even though he has every reason to believe that prodding too deep will literally mean the end of his life. He forces Akira and himself to face the truth because he knows anything else would just be an insult to what they’ve suffered so far. He’s the only one who never flinches, and that, more than any of his friends’ come-to-jesusing (which Akira still has to initiate) is what Akira needs in that situation. For the first time (outside of the brief instances in the tutorial levels), we see a situation where Akira is actually the dependent one, the one who needs help, who needs support. And the only one who has ever provided that, unconditionally, without demanding anything in return, is Goro. I could go into how Goro’s confidant blows all of the others out of the water in terms of building both himself AND Akira as characters, but it’s been said already and by smarter people than me. But basically, despite competition being a core theme of their relationship, Goro is the only character who is portrayed as Akira’s equal. Their contests are all in the name of improving not just Goro, but Akira too. Goro is the only character who expresses an interest in Akira’s inner life and development, and as such he knows Akira better than anyone else. So when Maruki tries to trap them all in a gilded birdcage, Goro won’t stand for it and he knows Akira won’t stand for it either. That’s why he’s so betrayed if you choose to accept the dreamworld. You’re negating the basis of your entire relationship with him and going against your own principles. Out of every character in the game, the one who knows Akira best and refuses to abandon him even when that could mean his own death is Goro Akechi.

I want to reiterate: I do not hate or even dislike the PT!! And tbh I don’t really think they “abandoned” Akira. That post, imo, is supposed to be kind of hyperbolic. Unless it’s referring to how many of them literally sprint away when he comes to talk to them lol. I look at it more like a commentary on how thoughtlessly the PT act as soon as their wishes are granted. I know it’s set up linearly for story purposes, but isn’t it kind of sad how no one checks up on Akira in the week he’s going around talking to people? Especially after he’s been acting so comparatively weird? It’s not unusual that they might be caught up in other stuff, but while you’re going around and visiting everyone, you don’t get a single text or call from ANY of the thieves, for a whole week!! Goro even comments on it directly with his pointed little “I’m sure you’re just as close as you were before” comment. God, he’s such a bitch. Ultimately, the PT do get their acts together, and it’s partially out of the realization that Akira is struggling alone against something and needs their help, which I love and appreciate. I think they are good friends who want to support Akira, but they can’t understand him past the role they’ve placed him in, and until they do, they’ll never be able to be what he needs. Akira loves his friends and knows he can rely on them in most ways, but those relationships will always be dogged by the pervasive fear that he must constantly earn the right to have the relationship at all. What he needs MOST is someone he doesn’t have to perform for, and from what we see in the game, none of the thieves fit that bill. Except Goro. 

I know this was long and rambly and probably pretty disjointed but I wanted to be as thorough as possible and all of my thoughts just sort of gushed out. Obviously ymmv about all of this depending on how you interpret the game, but this is what I arrived at thanks to my analysis so this is what I have for you! Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[reachfolk]

1-5 for the character development questions for Alexandria!

💛 from @korvanjund

this took forever to write cause of course i had waY too much to say omfl, but it was super fun!! tysm for the ask darlin <3

what (or who) would your character die for? live for?

family, family, family!! literally everything for alexi goes back to family. she may be on bad terms with her father's side (understatement of the century, but that's for question 3 lmao), but she would do literally anything for her siblings. protecting them is the main reason she's willing to overcome every fear in her fight against alduin. of course, she's also just as close with her aunt ursula. and she may have... a complicated relationship with her mother and father, she loves them and would do anything to keep them safe.

as for what she'd die for, she's just as dedicated to the cause of freeing the reach from nord control as most reachfolk. it's largely because she sees the reachfolk as an extension of her family. the reach is her home and she's so unabashedly proud of that. granted, she isn't as extreme in her views as the forsworn, but we're not gonna get into the highkey racism in the way bethesda wrote that whole faction lmao.

who (or what) does your character love most in the world? why?

this is such a hard question to answer cause like *slaps roof of alexi* this sweet girl can fit so much love in her. if she like, absolutely HAD to pick a handful of people, it would be her siblings (no, she couldn't pick between them even with a gun to her head, and tbh neither could they). i could literally go on for HOURS about her siblings and why they're all so close, but the tldr is that they're really the only people in the world that Get her. their social standing has always been in a really precarious place given how drastically different their mother and father's backgrounds are, and so they never particularly fit in with most kids from their social class. but they also didn't get very much of a chance to connect with their reachfolk heritage. i won't go so far as to call them outcasts, but they were definitely seen as... different, and there weren't many opportunities for them to feel like normal kids except for when they were with each other. but the other people alexandria is closest to are her aunt ursula, bothela (vanilla npc, the lady who runs the hag's cure), and ophelia from her coven.

that covers it for people, but the thing she loves most in the world is easily alchemy! it literally shows in every part of her mannerisms and shapes the whole way she looks at the world. a huge part of why she's so connected to namira is because she's so drawn to even the most grotesque things in the world, because there's opportunity in all of them to create something new and helpful. it's why she got so close to bothela, bc she's the one that trained alexi in alchemy since she was a kid.

who (or what) does your character hate most in the world? why?

this is ironic considering the first question but literally it's her uncles, thonar and thongvor silver-blood lol. i'm sure anyone who's been in markarth knows that they aren't exactly stand up dudes, but after the whole issue with the forsworn conspiracy came out, she probably had to be physically restrained by her companions to keep her from killing them then and there. she spent a huge part of her childhood knowing there was a target on her back and the backs of her parents and siblings, because there's nothing thonar and thongvor want more than to get rid of them entirely. despite the fact that she had such a fancy upbringing, her uncles were the reason none of them were ever given a real chance to rest. and then there's sooo much to say about how that exacerbated isobel's anxiety issues, which all of her kids including alexi later inherited. alexi literally carries that pain in her genes and she's never been able to get away from it no matter how hard she's tried.

again, this is one of those things i could talk about for ages, so if u wanna hear about one of the many times her uncles actively made an attempt on the lives of her parents and siblings, feel free to send me an ask abt it i'll happily tell u everything. there's like a 30k fic idea there but i have the gist of it all written in my drafts lol.

on top of all of that, she definitely has a LOT of issues with everything they do in the reach. like, ulfric stormcloak gets an honorary mention for this question, and the fact that they support him sure as fuck doesn't help. and considering the fact that she's been sent to cidhna mine and often helped out in the warrens, she's seen the worst of what the silver-bloods did to her people.

what is your character's main goal? does this goal change, or does it remain consistent throughout the story?

tbh this one is also hard to answer bc the game devs of bethesda are COWARDS and they didn't give us this option in the game even though all the pieces were there, but i feel like alexi would almost inevitably join the rebellion to liberate the reach. when she left home, she was still trying to make sense of things, and she just needed to put some distance between herself and all the things tearing her in different directions. she'd spent so much of her life trying to placate everyone that she couldn't figure out what her goal is until she was in a place where she didn't have to think about everyone else.

but no matter what, i think all roads lead to home for her. she may have had a strained relationship with the forsworn (esp when madanach was in prison and working for her uncles in secret), but she'd join when madanach is given free reign to control the rebellion as he sees fit rather than have to bend backwards to satisfy thonar. i personally hc that after that, the forsworn's actions are more controlled and they start to operate less like a disjointed faction of bandits and more like, yknow, people fighting for an actual cause. once she rebuilds her faith in the rebellion, she'd definitely join up.

does your character achieve their main goal? if so, does achieving this goal satisfy them?

again, hard to say since there's no in-game way for this to happen bc the devs were weak, BUT in my heart of hearts i like to pretend that there was a proper questline where u join up with madanach and retake the reach. after everything they've been through, i really hope it'll be canon that they finally are able to liberate themselves. i do think alexandria and her siblings would all do their part to help the rebellion, and their auntie was probably a proponent of the forsworn's rule during the great war, so they're in the clear. i'd imagine the situation is more complicated with their parents.

regardless of whether or not the forsworn are ever able to retake the reach, alexi definitely spends most of her life running around skyrim with the hope of fighting against people's prejudices against the reachfolk. (in the verse where she's the ldb) she kind of understands her role as an essential figurehead to the movement and how she's key to earning the nord's respect. i mean, it'd be hard to argue that they're evil savages when one of their own literally saved every single mortal soul on nirn. so, yeah, i think she feels pretty satisfied with that lol

[shrimpnoodless]

hm. i hate gamers actually.

pro tip: dont look at twt replies whenever ppl are trying to spread info abt predators/abusers/groomers/etc

also never look at forums bc its even worse than twt replies

like bitches are srsly out there like “omg the sjws are trying to CANCEL our fave game dev!!!! we gotta protect our poor defenseless 40 year old man who has two high profile jobs from the mean sjws >:(”

yeah sure, lets just completely ignore the fact that there are multiple victims coming forward about this, there are multiple people that personally know or have spoken with said victims (AND they believe them), that this was an “open secret” meaning people knew about this for a long time, and that this is sadly such a common occurrence in so many professional areas that most people arent even surprised when they hear about these types of situations anymore

anyways i fucking hate assholes who immediately jump to defend ppl without even having an ounce of critical thinking skills, like YOU DONT EVEN KNOW THAT PERSON!! how tf can you blindly support and defend someone that you dont even know!!! i could maybe understand if someone just heard the news and their first reaction is disbelief, but after seeing all of the information and doing some thinking, you have no fucking excuses.

i think people need to hurry up and accept the fact that just bc someone can create or contribute to something good, does not mean that they are somehow incapable of doing bad things or absolved of any bad things they committed in the past

and i feel so bad for the victims bc this is the exact kind of shit that nobody wants to deal with, thousands of ppl trying to disprove your actual experiences while glorifying the people who hurt you, people love to kiss an abusers ass and spit on their victims without a single fucking thought and im fucking sick of it

[luminisvii]

honestly the more i speculate about the fact that i don’t like three houses’ story at all and that i only like the characters, the more i dislike CF as a whole, and i find that the CF renditions of characters are often their worst incarnations. while there’s a lot of arguing about which route has the best version, i think CF is the worst in every case, especially with lysithea. i was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much that some people consider lysithea as one of the black eagles girls (besides me being a hopeless GD stan) since she has a paired ending with edie and is the only one who’s recruitable if you failed to get her preskip so it seems like the devs were really pushing this idea of CF lysi, but like, on other routes she’s super against edelgard bc of what the emperor did to her family. no bones about it, her family has suffered greatly because of the empire and while it’s technically twsitd and not anything edie personally did, her family is still in a bad place being close to the empire and could easily be destroyed by them and lysithea’s main motivation is to make sure her parents live comfortably once she’s gone. why would she support the empire who explicitly supports the group that is the source of her misery and pain? it’s even MORE ridiculous if you have lysithea and edelgard fight on GD, where edelgard is like “oh we could have worked together why do we have to fight :(” right after she tells claude to go fuck himself for trying to suggest they talk it out instead of kill each other. and lysithea refuses, pretty blatantly, because WHY WOULD SHE SUPPORT SOMEONE WHO IS WORKING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO ARE THE REASON FOR HER SUFFERING??? so this idea that lysithea would be totally down to help the empire is laughable and extremely inconsistent with her characterization on every other route she’s on. and i cannot stand CF lysithea the most out of all characters.

and don’t even get me started on CF felix because i’ve seen people insist that’s his best version and it’s not, the man is MISERABLE and hates his life on CF

[6ad6ro]

the warcraft 3 remake drama? made me remember things like no mans sky. and i STILL hold to the opinion that... if a game, esp one made or backed by a big company, releases as unfinished trash? not just "you expected more", but where it's obviously rushed and unfinished?

fucking yell. fucking bash it. most of all? return that shit. bc the fact is, companies will keep doing it if ppl keep buying it.

and i'm taking it a step further too? maybe don't... don't even buy it once the content is "patched in". because that's one of the biggest reasons companies aren't afraid to do this. bc even no mans sky? which maybe was one of the most hated games ever for it's scam of a release? it just... patched the content in? and was forgiven by so many...

you DO realise they still made ALL that money upfront. got ppl to buy it just to see what the fuss was about? many DIDN'T return it up front, or couldn't. then later it kept getting new sales bc the patch news? n suddenly it's one of the most downloaded games on steam...

this game that started out as more or less a scam. becomes one of the most bought games ever. do you not see the issues here?

i once had a person yell at me like "you have NO IDEA what rly went on and ur bein MEAN to the devs". like...

the truth is? the devs don't deserve the hate! why would they? many prob busted their ass and HATED what went down? but the developers aren't the reason to not support it. it's the publishers. it's the bosses.

this is corporate-funded art. and the ppl makin all the money? they only care about the money. and when u buy trash? you tell them trash is ok to sell to you. when you buy trash that was reformed later? you tell them it's ok to sell you trash that they fix a little bit later.

this is a bad situation for everyone who matters? but sadly the only way to make it better? is to hurt the publishers by not buying the fucking thing. ever. it hurts the devs too but it's the ONLY way to hurt the publisher? and that's the scariest part. the ppl setting these standards for trash are the publishers and the bosses, not the fuckin devs!

again I know it sounds mean, but think of it this way. if u went to a restaurant. and the staff was nice ir just typical polite. n ordered a STEAK i guess. and it came out n was just rotting meat covered in maggots? maybe don't yell at the staff but u sure can complain and not fuckin pay for it?you sure as hell should never come back? even if ppl say "oh it's better now".

and YES it sucks that if a place goes under that the staff need new jobs but WHAT THE FUCK? what kind if insanity is "well the staff deserves your support" like?!?! no!!! it's a place where they served you rotting meat! like just go to other restaurants that never do that!!!

bc if greedy rich assholes notice they can make money tricking ppl into buying rotting meat? they'll start churning out rotten meat cafes on every corner... and this?? is kinda the state gaming us in right now. bc too many ppl just ACTUALLY buy rotting meat. or are quick to forgive past dishes full of rot.

i mean...

ok buy what you want. u aren't obligated to try n fix bad gaming trends on your own. i still sometimes buy games that launched unfinished after they get better (final fantasy 13??) and there are always exceptions?

but HONESTLY. if you buy trash? they will start trying to sell you more and more trash. there's nothing you can do to stop all this trash from bein released. than to just STOP BUYING TRASH.

and no amount of my or your excuses or reasonings for buyin said trash??? will stop these companies from trying to profit off of trash. i'm sorry but unless we're all able to reform capitalism? or somehow create realistic quality standards for entertainment (good luck bc art is subjective)? this is the only way.

buy it less. or don't buy it at all.

[early-sxnsets]

Don’t @ Me

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43092371

Chapter 1/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 3118

Fic Summary: Teenage life is hard enough, but with the added weight of their lives, both Simon and Baz thrive online in a fandom for the British crime show, Gastrell, about the genius Huxley and his "flatmate" Sam. Through Tumblr, they find each other, and sink into something more than just being mutuals.

Chapter Summary: A shitpost is taken a little too personally, and an argument breaks out. In true Baz fashion, he seeks to prove himself right in the most ridiculous way possible.

BAZ

Morning routines are the most menial shit in the realm of existence of arbitrary tasks.

Everyone seems to have them, yet nobody really has a set one. For example, my step-mum has a long, seemingly pointless hour of simply facial cleansers, serums, and hair products. When I’d asked her years ago why she does it all, she shook her head and said “You’ll never be an aging woman, Basilton.”

I couldn’t quite argue with that.

Regardless, it’s a part of life. The routines. Wake up, morning routine, morning activity, eat, afternoon activity, usually afternoon snack, evening activity, dinner, night-time activity, sleep.

A boring, underwhelming cycle of the day.

Although, I suppose it’s shittier for me, since the homeschooling doesn’t give me a chance to do much besides sit and read. Of course, I have my car and I can drive off to whatever. Hell, father even suggested I get a job to occupy myself, but I don’t quite see the point given how much money we have (and the risk factors with moving around so frequently).

So, here I am. Finishing my classes in a matter of months, then having an entire year of pointless bullshit.

Needless to say, my entire day’s routine isn’t the most thrilling. Wake up at 10 on a good day, check social media and emails, then just lay here until I can’t wait to piss. Piss. Go to eat breakfast and get greeted by screaming children and my poor step-mum trying to wrangle them in. Go upstairs, go back online, see whatever’s on my dash, reblog some shit, then try to do something vaguely productive. Check Archive, check email again. Nothing’s on the emails, ever. Text Dev and Niall, who get awfully pissed since they are in school. Get more food. Eat. Bring tea upstairs, despite the disdained look from our maid (who hates collecting my piles of mugs). Write for a couple hours. Take an afternoon nap, if I please. Wake up and sit there (again). Maybe lonely wank. Go back to the bathroom, stare at myself in the mirror for a good few minutes. Sit on the toilet for half an hour for no reason besides the fact that my phone seems more interesting while sitting there as compared to sitting in bed. Sit then on the bathroom floor doing the same thing. Go back to my bed, listen to music on my phone and work on my laptop. Write, maybe scroll. Get dinner brought to me as they tut that I should be more active. Eat. Go downstairs for an evening workout (they’re right, I shouldn’t confine myself to my bed). Come back, do exactly what I do for half the day until I pass out somewhere around 3 am. Repeat.

Dream life for an 17 year old. Social life of a god.

Somewhat.

It’s shit to say (and sort of embarrassing to share) that there’s sort of a social media presence around me. Not quite the Instagram model bullshit, but based around fan life.

Yes, it’s a laughing stock. That’s where my popularity lies--a mixed grab-bag of various ages gathering around various platforms to enthuse about certain topics. And I’m somehow lucky enough to have the slightest bit of popularity here.

As in, a large following. A large, somehow active following.

It isn’t exactly thrilling as one would like to think. Sure, it’s fun to see a scattered group of regulars pop up, and I have my mutuals, but it’s a sad existence to sit around and make various shitposts with nothing better to occupy my mind. Or, at least, that’s what Dev and Niall tell me.

All in all, I blame Fiona. She’s the one who got me into the show, saying she thought the character was a bit like me. After I saw it, I found the three connections she’d grasped at.

Gay, dark-haired, and violinist.

As if that’s a rarity.

Yet, surely enough, I did love it. The cinematography, the characters, the storyline. It was intriguing--captivating.

It doesn’t hurt that the online community was still on the smaller side when I first got there. The show was only a season in when I made my blog, and I’ve stuck through all this bullshit to get me here. One of the regulars. Reposted everywhere, uncredited usually. Big fics, large interactions. Shitposts with thousands upon thousands of notes. I’m recognizable; a suggested name.

Don’t get me wrong, the attention is spectacular. I love interacting with people beyond this depressing household, and they’re usually fairly nice (usually) (except those ravenous for an argument). It’s just awkward to share at times when people ask why your mobile’s got 99+ symbols next to the apps and you just shrug and say “I’m shit at checking it” to avoid the conversation because most people see it as childish.

It’s a shame, really. Especially since I feel emotionally attached to these goddamn fictional fuckers.

I suppose that’s what makes it all the more personal, then. Even the shitposts mean something to me.

Which is what makes this is a long, winded way of saying fuck whoever’s arguing with me about whether or not Huxley is a fucking Ravenclaw. (He is. Hands down.) How’d I get here, staring at my mobile in disbelief at a brief back and forth post turned fight? Because it feels like a reasonable question to wonder.

I got here because, as almost all mornings, I woke up, opened my phone, read my notifs, then sat here, thinking of something. Anything. Then, in a tired haze, typed out a single text post on tumblr.

huxley gastrell is a ravenclaw send tweet

Following so, I went about my typical morning. Of course. Then--then--I check my phone as I’m going downstairs and I see it. I see the “@bi-sammy mentioned you in a post!” notif, then read the God-forsaken reblog.

@gaystrell op do you take criticism on your posts?

I frowned at my phone, typing out a quick response before tucking it back into my pocket.

@bi-sammy no.

What I hadn’t anticipated, though, was the reply I’d open up to soon after I’d started poking at my morning meal.

@gaystrell well too bad bc ur WRONG and ur opinions are UGLY

#he’s clearly a slytherin this is slytherin oppression #don’t tell me he and bryonie aren’t from a slytherin family

Now I sit, staring and completely awestruck at such a post. Now, I won’t deny Bryonie Gastrell is definitely, in all possible ways, a Slytherin. Cunning and ambitious as fuck, as any political spy may be, but fuck anyone who tries to dismiss Huxley’s clear Ravenclaw leanings.

It takes me a moment to fully process, mouth robotically chewing my eggs as I contemplate my answer.

@bi-sammy there is absolutely no proof of huxley being a slytherin and more than enough support towards him being a ravenclaw. get your clueless negativity off my blog, you utter tit.

With that, I settle my phone face down onto my table and try to enjoy my lovely plate of scrambled eggs, barely ignoring the boiling of my blood.

SIMON

My phone lights up with the new notification, dragging my attention away from my laptop as the words slide down onto the screen. “@gaystrell mentioned you in a post!” I hate to admit that I get a little pattering in my heart, urging my hand out to grasp the mobile as I pause the Youtube video currently playing. As I read his words, I slowly blink out of my excitement.

Tit. He called me a bloody tit.

Of course this fucking wanker called me a tit.

He must think that since he’s this big bad blogger, he can call me a tit right out in the open. (Although, he is talking to me, so that’s a plus) (No! No no no, bad validation, Simon. Bad). What, with his thousands of followers and fans of his own, he thinks he can try to say shit out in the open?

Fuck it. He’s either getting a DM or a bloody fist fight from me. I’ll take a train to wherever the fuck he lives (which is somewhere in England, since that’s what his bio says) (and his aunt lives in London, since he’s posted about visiting her) (I really do wonder where he’s from and how close he might be--what if I run into him one day?) (No wait fuck I don’t want that anymore).

Clicking on his blog, the little person drop down gives me the option of a message. I barely think as I type it out, vision going spotty from the adrenaline of the twinging anger.

bi-sammy: i swear to god there was no point to the battle of hogwarts if you’re just going to go around and absolutely slander the slytherin name and dare say that huxley is not one of them and, rather, is a ravenclaw

At first, I grin at it, watching my lone message appear into the empty chat. It’s so freeing--so powerful to send it. I pride myself, in the moment, for this solid move of communication. Of course I’m fucking proud. I messaged the arse myself and gave him a space to fight.

Maybe Penny’s right, I should dial down the confrontation, but it’s just the internet. Nothing important happens through a stupid little argument over Huxley’s true Hogwarts house (although, I’m sure I know I’m right in my heart), but it is a bit of fun to fuck around with someone. It’s a distraction. And that’s why I’m here, afterall. To have a distraction.

Penny thinks it’s a bit silly, but she doesn’t really complain. All she’s ever said was  “I thought we left fandom stuff behind us when we were 14.” She said it over lunch, watching me scroll through my at-the-time new tumblr.

It’s funny, I thought I did leave it behind when I was younger. It seemed unneeded as life shifted. I’d just found a stable foster home, with someone who was going to keep me for a while. I found Penny a couple months before I deactivated my old account. I was happy; we were free. I didn’t need a venting place.

Shits been sort of hitting the fan recently, though. No uni plans, David’s been getting more controlling, and of course, Agatha dumping me. It all crashed on top of me a few months ago, and somehow, the only place that I could find healthy coping was online. So, I started fresh. Made a blog and settled in. It’s not big, but I’ve had a few posts get noticed. I have a good few hundred followers, and one nice anon who asks me how I am every few weeks. It’s not a lot, but it’s comforting.

I feel at home here, even with a little discourse.

Well, only when the discourse is answered. Which, in this situation, I don’t know if it will be, given it’s been over an hour now and Baz hasn’t answered.

If that’s even his name.

It’s what his bio says, at least.

baz. 17. cisguy (he/him). gay. don’t interact if you think huxley is remotely straight.

I’ve wondered for a while what Baz stands for. He refuses to answer it in asks; he always says it’s too personal. He’s sort of odd like that--never posts pictures of anything that could be linked back. Seems sort of creepy, but then again, a lot of people follow him. It’s reasonable to want space.

Maybe that’s why he’s not answering. He probably wants space of some sort, but it’d be at least decent to answer someone who tried to have a discussion (that’s at least what I’m calling that message I sent--a discussion starter).

I frown at my phone, keeping it on silent as I slide it into my front pocket and settle into my seat in maths. I’ll say it--I sulk in class, a little bitter that I don’t have his attention (despite the fact that he seems like he’s always active online, which seems odd). Eventually, I exhale and try to let it slip away. There went my one interaction with him. My few seconds of the weirdest fucking bliss online, gone.

Then, it happens. As the class is ending, I pull out my screen just enough to see and there it is. A clear notification telling me he’d answered. Oddly enough, it’s just him sending me a link to a Google Doc.

Weird.

I ignore it for the moment being, letting myself ride the wave of relaxation that I actually got a reply. It passes my mind until I’m sitting in the back of Agatha’s car, listening to Penny and Aggie in the front talking about whatever’s on their mind. The rides are sort of awkward as of recently. At least Agatha agreed to drive me home (it’s a good 45 minute walk, if not) after some convincing from Penny, but her and I don’t really chat. It’s just the two of them.

Given that time, I have a chance to pull out my mobile and thumb through what was sent.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/175qFASmqD7hey8lE0eoE-6VhhFYE9DP6bpnI32Aay98/edit?usp=sharing

I click on it, not expecting that much (or, really, not expecting anything at all). Yet, the second it pops up and loads, my jaw drops.

“Jesus fuck,” I say aloud, scrolling through it. Penny turns her head, frowning as I stay locked on my screen.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“No--no nothing,” I say, waving a hand. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s got to be something for that reaction,” she says, keeping turned in her seat as she eyes me up. “Just tell us, Si.”

“I mean it when I say it’s nothing.” My voice gets quieter as I shift, reading the title. “It’s just fandom stuff. It’s really nothing.”

I hear her disgruntled huff as she turns back, mumbling something about me reacting too dramatically to this. “It isn’t even real.” It’s said under her breath, yet it still rings clear in my ears.

It isn’t really fake, either.

Hell, this is six pages of real. “Why Huxley Gastrell is, Without a Doubt, a Ravenclaw”. Shared by Basilton Pitch (is that his actual name?!). Fucking hell, it’s detailed to no ends. You’d think, with this much writing, there’d be pages of pointless filler where he’d just type “im gay hi huxley is also a gay we’re all gay here aren’t we”, but no. It’s full, grammatically correct sentences detailing his points.

It’s a bit much to read in the car, so I settle my mobile face down onto the seat as I’m left reeling. That… was a bit more than I’d expected.

Shit, did he write that for me?

This isn’t real. This can’t be real.

BAZ

Whoever says that having a flair for the dramatics is pointless has clearly never met me, because I wouldn’t quite call this masterpiece of an essay “pointless”. In fact, I should send it to academics. Rename it “A Study In Multi-Dimensional Characters and their Associated Generalized Personality Traits”. I’ll be hailed as a genius, as I deserve to be.

I crack my knuckles, and see the little person pop up.

Surely enough, it’s @bi-sammy’s name that he has listed online, Simon. It’s curious, he has his last name listed as “Snow”. Although, the smallest part of me believes it’s a pseudonym. Given our interactions, I doubt he’s clever enough to think of a solid pseudonym. And, even at that, why pick Snow?

Either way, it’s surprisingly endearing. Simon Snow. Sounds sweet. Sounds innocent.

I watch his cursor turn on, then his icon goes grey after a few moments. My heart starts to trip, making my cheeks begin to flush. Is… he ignoring this?

No. He can’t be. I put in hard work and dedication into this work, and I deserve the respect I’d sent into it. Fucking hell, three fully developed points (his devotion to intellectual work, his effort to step out of public light for Sam’s sake, and his overall lack of ambition for moving forward). I clearly set it out, and ended it properly; I’d proven that Huxley is a Ravenclaw. Case and point, opinion made, the end.

And, here I sit, watching him have the audacity to open it up then close it back. That was my hard work put in there, and he closes it? Who in the name of all that is sacred thinks he’s that above other people to the point where he just ignores--

Oh. He’s back on. Nevermind.

He’s… probably a school student. It’s roughly the time that most classes end, I suppose.

I make a mental apology to him, despite having never ranted directly to him in the first place.

He stays active for a good bit; long enough to show he’s reading. I assume that he’d just close off and message me, but after minutes, I notice a little highlighted comment pop up on the last sentence.

Simon Snow i………. owe you every single possible apology

Each word makes me grin like I haven’t in a while. A wide, cheek-creasing grin. There’s something so sweet to that--so personal. It feels like a note passed to me in a classroom under the tables. Like a cute “Blink if you like me”, although I doubt he has quite an intention.

Nevertheless, it warms my chest, sending my head back as I smile. I’m not sure whether or not it’s the satisfaction of winning, or his words, but I laugh outwardly into the room. It stays with me, reverberating onto my skin and my throat.

I look back at the comment, then leave it untouched. If he won’t remove it, then I won’t either.

With a glance at our personal messages tab, I figure that’s that. Even field, no more argument. No more interaction. It’s a bit of a shame, given the effort I’d just extorted for his sake, that he hasn’t answered in our chat.

While I’m disappointed to close off the document, I smile at it one last time. Sometimes I have to move on from random people, especially when they come on a bit strong.

Except, I find, moments later that I’m wrong about one thing--the moving on. He didn’t just stop his interaction, but instead made a public post.

“@bi-sammy mentioned you in a post!”

This time, I really laugh. A full bellied, hand-covering-mouth laugh.

i guess i have to suck @gayhuxell’s cock now because i was wrong and the bloody arse was right. huxley is a ravenclaw.

#fuck me i guess

I take a minute, rereading over his words a few times before typing a simple answer with my reblog.

i’m available anytime behind a mcdonald’s parking lot

[bpdanakins]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people

I was tagged by the dear @gffa who clearly enjoys making these lists and seeing everyone else also struggling with just choosing ten. It’s hard but I shall do my best sdfk <3

1. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider Okay, let’s just get it out: I prefer reboot!Lara. idk I know some people think she sucks and the games suck for whatever reason, but I found the games and their mechanics super fun, and Lara’s story really compelling. She was a young girl who was determined to make her own way in the world, and instead went through something extremely traumatizing. She kept pushing through, kept getting back up no matter what the world threw at her. She went on this clear journey that was compelling and fun and messy. She wasn’t perfect. She pushed people away, she fucked the world up because she was determined to find the answers she felt would make all she went through make sense. Her survivor’s guilt was present really well in RotTR but most especially in SotTR. People were dying but she was so focused on finishing her personal mission. She was numb to it despite the fact it still horrified her. And her arc ended well. She finally was able to reach a place where she was able to let go of her losses and try to join society again. And I’m gay for her. So, you know.

2. Senua - Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice I cannot recommend this game enough. It’s tough to play bc it’s not just a horror game but you feel a lot of Senua’s anxiety, which is part of the point to the game. Senua’s a Celtic warrior who suffers from psychosis, and the game devs worked directly with both professionals and those who experience psychosis. There’s a whole mini doc to it which is great, even if you can’t stomach horror. You’re in Senua’s head with her throughout the game. You see what she sees, you hear all she hears, and she talks to you directly at times. But the beauty of the game is Senua’s true journey. She goes on a quest to try to rescue a loved one she lost to Vikings, but the real story is about a girl realizing she’s not a monster for seeing the world differently. That the abuse and ableism she faced weren’t her fault at all. There’s so many little things I can point to in this game that just made me so emotional, and it’s such a beautiful and necessary story to tell. Senua is great and deserves a hug.

3. Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars If you asked me at what point in my life Anakin became one of my favourite characters, to the point I frequently talked about him even on my main blog at random intervals, I couldn’t tell you. I haven’t the faintest idea; he just was. And if you asked me why he was a fave early on, I also couldn’t tell you lmao. It might partially be that I grew up on the prequels, and maybe at such a young age I didn’t really grasp at first that this was a story about a guy who was already revealed to be a villain, but I haven’t the faintest clue. He just is now, and I’m so passionate about his story. He’s complex and difficult and written so well. You want him to be happy, you feel heartbroken seeing a good character fall so deep, and you want to smack him upside the head a whole lot. You laugh at his silly dialogue (which he has as Vader too smh), you cry when you see him struggling, you become horrified by his actions. His story’s also a great inversion of the Chosen One trope - whereas usually we see Chosen Ones struggle, become imperfect and undoubtedly traumatized, they remain heroes the whole time. Anakin doesn’t. He becomes the bad guy, one of the worst in the series (Palps takes the award tho). But even then, when you think this guy has nothing to offer but an intimidating villain, he’s shown to have good. And then we see how much good he had all along, the good he forgot and was punished for and hated himself for. His heart that had good intentions but he chose the worst actions. He’s complicated and I love him. And more over, I love how many people who struggle or have mental illness can relate to him. I love that he wasn’t treated as a guy whose actions were glorified, but that were honest in both the good ones and the bad ones. Anyone can fall, and anyone can get back up, if they choose to. I just. Love him. He means a lot.

4. Commander Shepard - Mass Effect I know that Shep is technically the player’s character and can be any combination of person, but anyone who’s played Mass Effect would get why they were put here. The original trilogy for Mass Effect touched on so many things, and was a really emotional one. You had your great moments with friends, you had your struggles against both unknown horrors, and horrors close to home (so to speak). There are so many small moments that stick out to you, and idk how many people can say that playing this story didn’t impact their life in a meaningful way, bc I can’t see how it couldn’t. I’ve played the games many times, but even after all of this, there are moments that I not just still get emotional to, but take on new meaning as I go through my life. And Shepard’s the hero of the story. They’re not perfect, and they can downright be an ass if you play them that way, but their story is one of perseverance, of fighting on even when entire worlds are being lost and everyone is still looking to them. Everyone needs them to find a solution. But even then, it’s a story about friendship too. About tons of amazing characters that all have their own motivations, their own pasts and goals and hopes and failures. About how all these varied characters become a found family. And so Shepard’s the hero of the story, but their companions aren’t just there to be sidekicks, but end up with all their own accomplishments and arcs and you go on this journey with all of them. idk the whole series is great dsalkkljads

5. Lexa & Clarke - The 100 Let’s not talk about how terrible this show got and how messy it was because we all know. But it started with a really compelling story that was interesting, and to see two characters on screen who were flawed but understood each other, and to have them both be women - one who was a lesbian and one who was a bisexual?? It made me so excited and it’s a really flawed show but it meant a lot to me at the time to have a couple like that on a tv show, and so despite all its flaws, that relationship still means a lot to me. 

6. The BAU team - Criminal Minds Yeah, I put the entire friggin team down, and that means all of them. There was only maybe two or so characters that were on it I didn’t like so every iteration is put down. Criminal Minds isn’t exactly a complex show; it’s a typical crime drama, and its unique feature is that it looks into the behaviour and minds of criminals instead of finding the science, like we saw with CSI. But the episodes were compelling and entertaining to watch, and, what do you know, there’s a found family at the center of it all and naturally I’m a sucker for it. Strangely enough this show is kind of a comfort one to me, bc it’s entertaining but not always overwhelmingly emotional. I can put it on at any time and just have it on in the background, or when I’m not feeling well, and I’ll enjoy myself. Also strangely enough, I’ve seen almost every episode enough times that there’s a game in my house to see how long it takes for me to recognize the episode and its plot once a rerun is put on lmao. There’s a lot of good shows like this out there - I enjoy SVU a lot too - but something just draws me to the characters on this one. We’ve been with them for, what, 14 seasons?? And we’ve seen them go thru some shit, we’ve seen them grow and change and they’re all really unique. It’s not a complex show but it is good enough to just binge. A part that plays in it is probably the time in my life I started getting into it too, but I’m alright with standing by it.

7. Korra - Avatar: The Legend of Korra I probably don’t need to wax poetic about atla or atlok much at all. I just love her journey, as a brash and overconfident girl who realizes that being the Avatar is hard, the people expect so much and there’s a lot put on your shoulders. That, when things go wrong, people will blame you. She went and became this giant blue monster thing, but her struggles were all human. Her PTSD was shown really well, despite it being a kid’s show. She’s fun and her journey is lovely and it’s definitely true that Korrasami did it way better, and both characters are bi women too (◡‿◡✿) We Do Not Talk About That Dumb Love Triangle Nonsense Though

8. Chloe & Max - Life is Strange What can I even say about this game? I don’t know. If you’ve played it, you’ll know why it’s here. It’s.... way deeper than you’d think it’d get at first. I love the story, and I love the journey Max and Chloe go on together. I love their friendship, how Chloe was always trying to uplift Max and encourage her to follow her dreams, and Max just doing the impossible for Chloe. I love their relationship, because it was built on support and love and struggle. I love their complexities, their flaws, their strengths, their times together. I just fskljdjlksfd love them, I love this game and all its various stories and character arcs. It’s all so beautiful and raw and unique and yay, another pair of ladies loving each other is on this list.

9. Solas - Dragon Age: Inquisition Okay. There’s a TON of characters I adore in Dragon Age, and to be honest, I don’t know he’d be my absolute top one. But I do like his story. I love Dragon Age companions, because, like in Mass Effect, they’re all their own characters with their own stories and journeys. Solas is flawed. Like, really flawed. Here’s another guy on my list who went and fucked up the world a bit. His worst actions (and the consequences of them) were built on good intentions, on his desire to help his people. We can get into the way this direction BW went with the elvhen religion was icky, but it’s a different conversation. I adore elvhen lore and I love exploring theories on it all the time. For Solas, I just like that he’s complex. I mean, he’s still silly and kinda weird, and he loves to hear himself speak on topics and loves Lavellan for encouraging him to never shut up, but most of all I kind of like their relationship? A friendship with Solas is still great, but I like that it’s an asexual one (don’t fight me on this, idc, it’s how I see it). It’s soft, built on mutual respect, one with no pressures or expectations. Solas asks for time and Lavellan gives it. There’s no fade to black s.ex scenes that so many times aren’t optional in BW games. I just really like my asexual wolf god egg ok

10. Mulder & Scully - The X Files Okay, it’s super hard to choose characters for this holy heck. BUT I really, really, really love their relationship. Mulder is an idealist who believes in the supernatural, and Scully his pragmatic scientific counterpart. And we could talk about how Scully’s character as a woman in science meant to a lot of people, and how Mulder’s tenacity to not give up on his beliefs is a nice one (when it’s not getting him into trouble). Their relationship is the slowest of slow burns in television history, I think. But it’s good that way. Scully starts out thinking Mulder’s just a delusional guy, one who’s intelligent but wastes his accomplishments, and he knows that. Then they go through shit, they’re a team and many times it’s them against a whole bunch of unbelievable stuff (and their own government). What I loved most was also their son, and I’m literally deleting all knowledge of the new seasons from my brain bc I think it was gross and took away from the story, but I liked that they were so close, loved each other so much despite there not really being a romance yet, that Scully trusted to go to Mulder to donate to her bc he was the only one she could think of for this. It’s another asexual relationship on screen, and it’s built on a love that happens over time. I just fljksdfkjl could go on about it too.

-

This was hard lmao. I wanna give an honorary shout out to Peggy Carter since she had wonderful lines like: “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.” Which is *chef’s kiss*. Peggy was the true unsung hero of the MCU and they gave her and Steve a weird ass ending.  

idk who to tag bc I’m not sure who’d be into this, but if you’re willing, I’d love to hear from @sapphicfinalpam, @mariaromanovs, @vinterskald, @zombiefishgirl, @nb-aziraphales, @serkonans and anyone who feels like doing it. Feel free to obvs ignore this, or only make a list without rambles, idk. I am never too sure about who’s into this or not, but if I didn’t tag you and you wanna do it, you can just say I tagged you and I definitely wanna read what you have to say!

[pxpedream]

zoinks i totally forgot the fact that i never actually made an Official Talk Tag post so hi hey hello!! i’m ap from EST and i have 900 assignments due on monday bUT instead of doing any of those i’ve been writing vir singh (dev patel fc), your local 29 yo speechwriting cynic

i’m almost finished his app but in the meantime here are some quick basics!

he’s a nyc baby who used to be pretty upper-middle class until his mom cheated on his dad and his dad wanted absolutely nothing to do with her after the divorce (including any child support money) so he lived in a pretty poor neighborhood in brooklyn for most of his teenage years

got a scholarship to yale (fuckin NERD) where he went for an english major and minored in russian literature (this has no significance and isn’t even included in his app i’d just like to think he’s read dr zhivago more times than any person should)

he HATES politics. literally didn’t plan to become a political speechwriter even a little bit, and if he had it his way he’d be on a balcony in copenhagen writing the next great american novel but writing doesn’t exactly pay his and his dad’s bills and he’s never actually finished any of the books he’s started so he’s been one of dc’s top speechwriters since grad school and won’t stop anytime soon

he’s constantly exhausted, generally annoyed, and essentially willing to do anything if you pay him enough (can i get a paaaaawn?). he’s also a staunch moderate that is generally socially liberal and fiscally conservative, but he flip-flops on a few issues. at the end of the day tho he’s very easily able to put his own beliefs aside and write a kickass speech about whatever topic/affiliation his boss demands of him

fucking loves literature. has read everything fitzgerald has ever written twice. DEEPLY infatuated with semi-colons and em dashes, and goes crazy when the little grammar details he puts into speeches aren’t given the care and respect they deserve

i am quite literally open to ANY connections (!!!) you can think of but main ones include:

his boss: the person who speaks the words vir pens. could be someone from either political party (vir has no strict ethics about his political ties) and would be someone that vir is FIERCELY loyal to because they’re the person who’s ensured that vir’s had the money he needs to support both him and his dad for years now

roommate: okay listen rooming in dc is EXPENSIVE and vir’s got student loans he’s still paying off so he’d def be sharing an apartment with at least one other person. they could either like each other/be great roomies or be absolutely terrible at sharing a living space (vir goes to bed at absurd times and is TERRIBLE at forgetting to turn down his music, apologies in advance)

partner-in-crime: any and all besties are welcome. whether it’s just someone he gets a drink with (ranging from coffee to vodka) after work or someone who’s been good to vir ever since he moved to dc, he def needs some buddies to vent to

friends-with-benefits/romantic interest: he’s Bisexual with a capital B and def needs the stress relief w/ how much bullshit he puts up with throughout the day, so this would open to p much anyone. i dont think a signif other would be totally out of the question either, especially if they’ve got moneeeeey bc vir is lowkey (read: highkey) looking to marry rich

the pay-off: vir’s trying to support both him and his dad atm and while his job pays well enough for him to get by he’s def somebody that’s willing to do anything if you wave enough money in front of him. could be smthg more lowkey or smthg more sketchy, but i’d def love to see a kind of player/pawn relationship play out here 

this was unncessarily lengthy but if you wanna talk more at all please feel free to hmu on this account! i’m sososo excited for this rp to get started and to get to know all of you lovely folks <33