#bc they are emotionally damaging
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#911 abc#911edit#chimney han#911 gifs#madney#kevin lee#maddie buckley#glmdedit#jee yun buckley han#albert han#henrietta wilson#karen wilson#john lee#anne lee#eddie diaz#evan buckley#ravi panikkar#bobby nash#look i hope people are as emotionally damaged by this as i was making it#we only had kevin for like 25 mins but i've never gotten over him#this guy has every reason to be a horrible miserable character but no#no he's the coolest cheeriest funniest caring man alive#sick dead mom at a young age and abandoned by an absent father and taking care of sick after her diagnosis#ideas constantly shut down for owning a business and losing his brother on the job#and also sorta losing mr lee who couldn't bear to see him without being reminded of kevin bc they were so intertwined#failing in love and getting stabbed and left for dead#oh and the rebar accident where he almost died again#losing the love of his life and then finding her but not being together with her#911 edits
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When the only person who might understand what happened- understand. Not sympathize or empathize or comfort you but understand what happened, isn't there anymore. Or: 'A Man Made Me Do Something I Didn't Want To', for when you can't talk about it or look it in the eye [Patreon | Commissions]
#Tuvok#Kes#comix#idk how to tag this bc of the allusion#st voy#star trek voyager#bea art tag#comix page#star trek#this is not a one to one allegory nor is it meant to be - I am specifically focusing in on the loss of bodily autonomy that occurs when#Kes and Tuvok have their bodies taken over purposefully by men for various reasons which all boil to power. 'Because I could' and Because#they thought Kes or Tuvok wouldn't be able to stop them from doing so. Because they thought they had the power to do so so why wouldn't#they? But again this is not one to one - I interpret and will continue to interpret these instances in many different ways#But something that sticks with me in canon is how 'impervious' Tuvok is made - There is that scene at the end of Warlord which#shows that Kes is affected by what just happened to her - she's confused and hurt and doesn't know what to DO now that the in-the-moment#fight is over and it's time to just keep living and Tuvok comforts her but when he will go on to be taken over again and again and again#there will be no one to comfort him - no one HE can go to - and the narrative doesn't say that there should be. Even when he's#taken over by the BORG (an experience which had a lasting traumatic impact on characters like Seven or Picard - granted they were connected#for a lot longer) this is only mentioned offhandedly. One wonders why it occured at all. There's also how the other two main Vulcans#T'Pol and Spock - when they are forced to act emotionally or are in situations that affect their emotional equilibrium there is a big deal#made about it and they are hurt and ashamed and given some degree of care and comfort by those around them but when Tuvok#is forced into similar situations it is simply assumed he'll get over it - not even just by the other characters but the narrative itself#takes it for granted Ex: 'Workforce' where he forgets ALL his Vulcan training or 'Meld' where Suder's influence#unintentionally makes him lose it and try to kill him...THOUGH I think Suder hugging an unconscious Tuvok is perhaps the closest we get to#someone comforting Tuvok after he's been through that sort of ordeal. I'm not saying Tuvok would WANT others to be hugging him#and offering him emotional comfort etc (he's Vulcan) but I find it interesting that the narrative assumes that the black body (even alien)#is more 'durable' than its white counterparts. 'Stronger'. Assumes that there is no interiority which recoils and sustains the damage#when hurt. That there is nothing worth exploring because there is no impact from the impact. A crater lands and the Soil beneath it is#untouched
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there is a difference between being born to a throne, maliciously vying for a throne, stealing a throne, and having a throne thrust upon you when you are already in the midst of an identity crisis. And I fear Loki's place in the line of succession has people unable to differentiate between any of these
#you can't really argue he planned the extent of Thor's downfall#that was all Odin#Loki didn't force Thor to invade Jotunheim he isn't even the one who gave Thor the idea -- Thor did that all on his own!#that he was doing waswasa @ thor didn't help but wasn't really crime worthy on its own#Thor himself took time convincing the other warriors to be okay with the trip despite the treason and danger involved#like. what. Thor can't differentiate good advice from bad and is emotionally volatile and reckless and that's Loki's fault?#THOR was the one who got them past Heimdall too#the entire ordeal inadvertently showed off the favouritism Thor was receiving in comparison to Loki#even though Loki was the one supposedly so easily influencing Thor to such an extent#call Thor a puppet the way he--wait. no. that sounds weird. uhhhhh#you get the point#people will claim Loki was all up in there rearranging Thor's mental processes to cause his downfall#when really it was Loki doing the bare minimum instigation and watching things only devolve from there#because Thor WAS reckless and immature ?? and he WAS quick to anger and enjoyed exerting his power with violence ??#Loki didn't STEAL THE THRONE FROM THOR he literally just is implied to undermine the coronation#that's not even confirmed but we assume it's true that he let the frost giants in near the casket etc.#Loki has his own actual crimes that he did against Thor and hugging his bro's arm and saying 'you're soooooo strong and correct' was not on#even if you manage to argue Loki was cheering Thor on for the invasion (he wasn't) it was clearly to dob Thor in with Odin#which he did when he had some guard inform Odin#that Odin's chosen punishment was for Thor's disobedience aside stop blaming Loki for the damage ODIN inflicted on him#focus on Loki making up lies to Thor about how Odin died instead like at least Loki DID SOMETHING for that#you can even ascribe as evil a motive as you want there bc Loki was slipping fr#twirling his hair and telling Thor he's smarter about the realm's safety than the king was on the normal scale#you want to talk morals go look at how eager Thor was to invade mass destroy and massacre in the other realm#and expected Odin to 'finish them off! together!' bc he was power high on whatever bloodlust pheromones battle apparently imitates for him#sigh. this is why you can't have nice things Thor. no Loki you're barely any better. sit down. have a cookie.
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Bungou Stray Dogs fans watching s5 ep 11:
#though i IMPLORE anime onlys to read the manga bc the anime did change a lot (read: every scene where atsushi and akutagawa interact)#and dazai getting shot scene is quite changed as well#it might seem like a lot to read but it's really easy to binge imo. and 1000% worth it#and they FUNDAMENTALLY changed Akutagawa's death btw#they completely and horrifically changed the entire sskk vs fukuchi fight. the fight is a lot less action focused in the manga#and is more inclined towards emotionally and psychologically damaging the reader#akutagawa's death is incredibly important in the manga. and if he's not your favorite‚ the manga is STILL better with every other character#anyway. ep 11 will bring us all together as anime onlys.#bsd#bungou stray dogs#sskk#skk#shin soukoku#soukoku#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd akutagawa#chuuya nakahara#atsushi nakajima#ranpoe#bsd fyodor#fyolai#sigma bungou stray dogs#bsd sigma#I'm in the trenches with these tags#akuatsu#atsuaku#a.txt
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It warms my heart to see more follower oc x aym or follower oc x baal ships(or platonic interactions)
#Esper says#Yall better than me bc yall actually write them so cute and loving. Like?? AAAHH CUTIE PATOOTIES I LOVE THEM ALL#Meanwhile I got my follower x Baal ship that doesn't end up being end game bc very few of my ships end up happy.. or end game (projecting)#He needs time to catch up with his mother and figure out who he is as an individual.. spend sometime enjoying that newfound independence#Why not both you say#Bc sometimes where you are in life and where you are emotionally/mentally will not always match with you partner's (or your friends)#Where you are mentally and what you desire may greatly clash with your partner's.. it requires work on both ends to compromise#In my personal onion that neither Baal or Aym are emotionally mature enough to handle a long term relationship#But they can absolutely crave that love that a partner could provide. I can 100% see them wanting it but they're emotionally not in tune ye#That's just me tho do not listen to me I'm not a writer for a reason ✨️#But good news is Tulip and Baal don't end things on bad terms.. it was a mutual understanding and both parties were okay with the outcome#Tulip stays pining for his man but would never want to burden Baal with staying in the cult just so they can stay together#I can yap about this for hours about how the twins upbringing has damaged how they're navigating relationships (both platonic & romantic)#Hiding this in the tags bc my thoughts are all over the place#Hits the griddy
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#im so sad it was such a good ask blog too but my mood has been so severely impacted by it i literally could not handle it anymore#big surprise your favorite character being put through constant and severe turmoil is emotionally damaging. who wouldve guessed#it makes me sad people are so fucking mean too :^(#<- in relation to some of the asks folks send in to guide stories along#like sure cute aggression yeah whatever but some of yall are straight up cruel for no reason. ill never understand it#i really wish i had the heart to keep following this blog bc its such a huge and beautiful passion project... but im sensitive:^(#even if its fictional#sorry to the mutual i had to break </3 wahhhh#late night personal posting. goodnight#laika originals#oh should i tag this as uhhh#vent#? kind of not really im just talking here
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I feel like my relationship with my mom is ruined now and there's no getting it back and literally nothing happened other than me going on a sleep deprived rant on the internet to people who don't even know her
#like she doesn't seem to be forcing my sister to do anything. she's just clearing out her own polyester stuff#and my dad is too. and they're gonna replace it with better materials#so why do i feel like our relationship is irreparably damaged? we didn't even have an argument#she just said her plan and I said ''I'm not gonna do that'' and she said ''you don't have to''#why do I feel like something is Wrong when there really isn't anything wrong?#Lu rambles#again: PMS may be playing a part. I'm gonna give it like... a week or until my period ends before I talk to her#bc I know I tend to be really emotionally Weird and also I'm so tired rn that that's probably affecting things to#too*#I just want a good relationship with my parents but even my youth pastor said that's incredibly incredibly hard when you#live with them as an adult 😭
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thinking about how pre-combat sledge was listening to sid talking about the war on that beach not really recognising his friend anymore and then after peleliu he returned to the same beach as a changed man himself
#each rewatch im emotionally damaged bc of different things#like i remember feeling unwell about that convo but this time it was the RETURN to the beach that did it#the pacific man.....#simi.txt
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I will have to sit with that episode and comprehend what happened with Laudna and Orym..
And Marsha played it so well...There is so much inner party tension this campaign it hurts meee
#Ough ugh I'm having chest pain I'm so stressed out#I was so excited about essek gshsg#And than I am emotionally damaged#I could never even in pretense#that was amazing#critical role campaign 3#critical role spoilers#critical role#Critical Role campaign 3 episode 95#But also I need to rest now what the hell#I feel like marisha had to add 'playing a warlock is hard' bc otherwise ppl would have been weird about that#The trust these people must have for each other
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emotionally im still here
how to say i love you without saying i love you, a guide by shin
how to say i love you without saying i love you, a guide by mina
#the girl who fell beneath the sea#still crying screaming throwing up bcs of this book#i might buy the physical book after this bcs it's beautiful#like so beautiful im crying again#reading this twice is not enough#it's been so long since i felt like this after reading a fantasy book#im not talking about the poppy war trilogy#this book ruined me in a good way#not you the poppy war trilogy you damaged me emotionally for centuries
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Rating: Explicit
Relationships: Ernest Shackleton/Tom Crean
Additional Tags: Begging, Oral Sex, Coming Untouched, Character Study
Summary: Tom Crean wants to come on the James Caird. He needs to be there, and he is not below begging for it.
This is for @edwardratcliffegarthrussellevans bc we have been chanting Dog Motif, Dog Motif in our DMs <3
#it's not the spiciest of fics and not the most refined but it is what I am able to write#i have more frankie/shackles lined up so thatll be emotionally damaging and more epic again simply bc i am. Insane that way idek man#shackleton#ernest shackleton#tom crean#endurance expedition#old man yaoi#polar explorer rpf#quip#my writing
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gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me
#gale of waterdeep#paydja plays baldur's gate#the relationship a lot of the companions have with their bodies is fucking fascinating#but gale and karlach's relation to their heart and to human contact is particularly compelling#i cant say who has it worse bc thats a stupid comparison to make when they both have hearts that could literally detonate at any moment#[ik that karlach cant do human contact at all and gale cant but im talking abt emotionally significant contact which is smth they share]#but rn im focusing on gale ill talk abt karlach later#hes so interesting like hes initially played as arrogant but i think that whole thing with mystra#really fucked him up bc he talks abt himself like hes. not a means to an end per se but u get the gist#you can see the way he talks abt sense and sensuality and emotional connection but as soon as you actually offer it via flirting or just#genuine compliments hes always surprised and always changes the subject#partially out of like. emotiona damage and partially bc he doesnt want to go boom#ANYWAY WHAT IM SAYING IS hes in pain bc of the contact being made with the magic that makes up his heart but#by god please dont take your hand away. please dont stop touching him. please#i hate this fucking game i hate it so much#chattering#sorry for the analysis it WILL happen again#im talking abt gale rn bc hes my favourite and currently the character i know the most about via gameplay#but there is PLENTY i can say abt everyone#god i keep saying this but its like why are you so good sometimes and also so bad. fucking Larian.
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Fully caught up on the manga (minus spoilers for the last chapter) and..... Ya know what maybe I am a villain stan because I just.... Don't trust that anything really changes in society. Everyone outside of heroes, when given speaking parts, seems to indicate that they'll step in or do something in order to protect themselves - not out of any sense of responsibility or community, but to safeguard their lives in case the other person ends up a villain. Or maybe I'm just pessimistic? But we've seen irl time and again that this ending attitude doesn't work. Doesn't have change. Certainly not long lasting change. I really really wanted to finish the series still liking Deku but throughout the fight, every cut back to someone other than Deku, talking about his heart and how good he was and how much he was doing to fight for the person - and the cut back is just "punch". He never responded to Shigaraki's words. He never engaged with the man himself. And at the end of the day, I feel more trust in Uraraka. More trust that she'll actually work on saving people's hearts. And she's back in construction work like her parents. And of course the camera dies and no one sees Toga's heart. Because how dare anyone think a villain could be a person (paraphrased that one interview guy).
I really really wanted to end this manga happy with it. I'm not stupid enough to conflate the reality of the story with fandom. I'm not. I really wanted to enjoy it for what it is. But when they directly ask "how do we fix villains being made" the answer is "you don't. We can't" and ???? That's supposed to be what the manga was working towards this whole time? I - .....
#the bee talks#idk. maybe im just too damaged to fit in society anymore myself. ha.... fuck.#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#i think deku still has a lot of growing up to do. i know blah blah his innocence is ruined and he's irrevocably changed but.#.... i think its more that we see other characters understand more than deku has. horikoshi can write it. he just.... didnt for the guy#we're supposed to have placed our hope and trust in.#mha#bnha#like i feel sick to my stomach because this is devasting but also guilty bc i wanted to like it i was hopeful.#i mean!!!! I STILL LIKE THE ENDING. IM GOOD WITH IT!! i just dont like how the underlying themes were finished.#im not even salty about the villains dying- i feel like being alive wouldve always left a way for horikoshi to be pressured to return to mha#like.... story plot wise im good with it! its just that the last few chapters are supposed to be feel good wrap up and im.... empty.#if i was the same person i was when i first started mha and even up until a few years ago i wouldve really really liked it all.#haaa... maybe I'm just too jaded. sorry yall i really tried my best and I'll enjoy whatever the last chapter holds! i will! i just...#need some time to emotionally remove myself from it i guess. (massive props to Horikoshi for making me care about all of the characters)
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fucked things up with a person i was starting to like and have been sad about it all week :(
#eh.txt#got triggered really badly a few weeks ago due to a family thing#and basically told them hey i like u but i am too emotionally damaged and don't want to catch feelings fr#and they were kind and understanding#and then i regretted it the next day and was like hey jk sorry for being crazy#and they said they've been busy but intended to reply#and then five days passed so i was like don't worry about it sorry for putting u in a weird position#lololololol#it's no biggie i just feel things so intensely and the moving process has been so stressful#cried all throughout yesterday#i hate how intense my emotions get and also how i just replay situations over and over again in my head#and my stupid brain is like ''maybe they will message u back actually''#when it's like girl we crashed three whole planes into the building it's over 😭😭#next psych app i'm gonna ask if we can up my meds bc clearly i am still a nut job :')❤#wish i had the kind of personality that was loveable but alas lolololol
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every time theo ends up saving liam’s life it’s by pulling him to safety from behind… something to be said about liam silently trusting theo enough to give him his back (and theo’s unspoken willingness to have it even at the expense of his own safety).
#you can have my back any day. or you know. you could have mine.#something something you can be my wingman anytime bullshit you could be mine#sorry but ‘ive got your six’/battle boyfriends/girlfriends is one of my fav dynamics#i have one ship type at the end of the day….#im not dying for you. im not dying for you either. but i will fight with you. lets fight.#guys… that was their mid fight oath to each other….#theo in memory found: wraps his arms around liam from behind to drag him into the elevator away from the riders#theo in triggers: standing behind liam. pulls him to the side by his arm to keep him away from nolan and figure out whats wrong#theo in werewolves of london: walks up behind liam in the locker room and keeps him from killing gabe/doing something else he might regret#(side note the shot of their faces beside each other in the mirror is sooooo symbolic of theo being liam’s voice of reason in a lot of 6b)#theo in wolves of war: tackles liam from behind to keep the hunters from shooting him#ALSO theo in wolves of war: positions himself between the hunters and liam as they’re both running away so he can push him ahead/shield him#taking damage he probably could have avoided had he just ducked#LIKE. yeah. theo will probably never admit it but he is so protective in his own convoluted emotionally repressed way#and liam lets him do it also in his own convoluted emotionally repressed way bc he doesn’t HAVE to give theo his back or the room to be the#one that comes to his rescue#they are partners !#:( my sons i miss them#thiam#theo raeken x liam dunbar#theo x liam#theo raeken/liam dunbar#theo/liam#teen wolf
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mamma mia, here we go again
#i'm not going to watch the stream bc... yeah. going to watch smth less emotionally damaging (i.e. kung fu panda 3)#if someone could send me a summary after or even a transcript i'd really appreciate it! ty#may he destroy t*bbo with facts and logic and finally end all this bullshit it's lasted too long.#or hardlaunch dnf and make out sloppy style on stream. bye for now
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