#bc theres just so much amazing food out there in the world

[modernmaenad]

Tortilla soup and tamales TToTT please eat a tamale for me

i will!! i got like 3 bags of em so i will gladly eat one for you!!

[urmomschocolatemilk]

part 2 to the break up angst. not even asking, bae i need it 😡

Simon Riley x reader

Part 1

A happy ending bc im feeling generous 😘

You wake up to warmth streaming through the open window, the quiet hum of the fan in the background. As your eyes flutter open theres a single moment of pure peace, where your mind is blank and the only thing your concerned with is the comfort of your bedsheets and pillows. That only lasts a moment though, and the events of the night before come flooding back to you.  

You remember calling Simon in tears, you remember the sound of his voice ruff voiceas he’d let himself in and got in bed with you, cooing sweet nothings into your ear as you sobbed into his chest. You remember the feel of his arms wrapped around you and the warmth he brought to you that you’d missed so much.  

You turned over, part of you expected to see him, the other part of you knew he was probably gone. The other side of the bed was empty, as expected, and you huffed, partly in frustration, and partly in hurt. You pushed yourself up with a groan, throwing off the covers and walking towards your door. As you neared you could hear some shuffling in the kitchen. You frowned  

He had left, hadn't he? So, who was out there? You pulled the door to your bedroom open, walking into the merged living and kitchen space. As you turned you spotted him behind the island, his tall broad frame working on something infront of the stove. It smelled amazing. 

“Simon?” You questioned, walking closer, he looked up with a hum. “I thought you’d left...” you tell him confused. 

“I didn’t want you to wake up to an empty house...” he responded in a gruff voice, focusing back on the eggs he was cooking. You took a seat at the island and he turned his back to you, opening the microwave door and taking out a warm plate. His back muscles flexed a bit as he moved, and you blushed lightly, averting your gaze down to the counter top. He slid you the plate, placing a fork next to it.  

“Thanks,” you mumbled, starting to dig in. There was an awkward tension between the two of you as he finished cooking his breakfast and plated it. You knew you had to talk about it, but you didn’t want to be the one to start...confrontation was more of Simons style anyway.  

“Are we going to talk about it?” he asked quietly, pushing around the food on his plate. You stay quiet, and he looks at you, waiting for your answer.  

“Depends on what you’re going to say,” you respond after a moment, your volume matching his. He grunts, pursing his lips.  

“I still think it was the right thing to do,” he states, and you raise your eyebrows, but don’t respond. You don’t understand how he can even see that; did he not see how much he broke you? “But,” he starts, his voice softening “I miss you.”  

“I thought you were the one Simon...I-I was ready to marry you,” you suck in a sharp breath, “you broke my heart Simon,” you whisper to him. He slides his hand over the counter, taking yours.  

“I know...and I regret it so much. If I could take it all back I would,” he tells you sincerely. Finally, you look up from your plate.  

“But you can't,” it’s a fact 

“I’ll do anything – everything – to make it up to you.” His eyes searching yours as he pleads with you. He’s never like this, and you almost feel like you’re talking to a whole other person. You bite your lip, contemplating, and the silence is to quiet as he waits for your answer.  

After what feels like an eternity, you finally speak up, “Okay...” you whisper “Okay.” He comes around the counter, taking your face in his hands and kissing you deeply, pouring all the love and adoration in the world into the gesture.  

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling away and pressing a soft kiss to your head. You just nod wordlessly, pressing your head against his chest and wrapping your arms around him as he pulls you close.  

[lookingforhappy]

So, be honest, how are you doing? Are you gonna be okay? Cause I'm ridiculously upset tbh. I kept feeling weird watching the show (but some parts of episode 1 were kinda nice).....then the incident happened. Then basically everything was on fire.

took me a while to process the season tbh i think everyones collective disgust is helping honestly bc it means i can go ahead and write/draw/hc stuff that ignores it or changes it wildly lol

i thought the majority of the show was pretty medicore, not the worst thing they could have done just not as in depth as it needed to be.

the puke scene was a bad shot at humour that i hated but if i sat here listing every bit that i hated then id be here all day and honestly i dont know if ill ever do that because theres just too much to list.

i checked out entirely once five said they all had to die to fix the world and then it just kept getting worse and worse and my literal nightmare scenario happened.

how many times do we need to re learn that any variant of "it was all a dream" doesn't work??? the only and i mean only time ive seen it done well is inception (funny bc elliot page is in that too) and that whole movie is about dreams which is why it works.

(little hope is another example of a story that pulled the "it was all a dream" thing and lost 90% of its audience because of that ending)

just honestly why. who did they think would like this??

when five ran out on them and got on that train i was so sure that they were going to do a sacrifice end with five.

he had lost literally everything, his families trust, his girlfriend, his dream life (living comfortably in a world he understands with someone he loves

as bad as five/lila was - and believe me i have many problems with it from a characterisation standpoint from both perspectives - it was an interesting move for exploring fives psyche and wants... like he has always been the family man but when presented with something he understands as intimately as solitude and survival but with the comforts of a stable world, food source and someone to be with)

like he was set up perfectly to die and be redeemed through that (again, not something i like but something that would have been better), have diego be with him during his final moments and have five apologise for cheating with lila and confess that he only did it in the throes of surivial induced insanity/desperation and that he always wanted diego happy. end with five dead but remembered, and the family alive.

then it lit on fire. like it was smoldering before but yeah like you said a literal housefire erupted in that last episode. the ending pissed me off so bad i can never enjoy that season again - literally tried to rewatch the season to try and understand it better but couldnt start the final episode bc its awful.

idk im just praying that not everyone leaves this fandom for dead because i know theres some amazing fic writers out there and the series itself was good for 1 - 3 seasons.

[his-mother-is-lightning]

EPISODE 6: FEAST OR FAMINE (too soon?)

AKA - Break a leg, kid! (Sanji's bad day)

AKA AKA - a blond and a red-leg walk into a bar

AKA AKA AKA - how many pirates does it take to sew up a swordsman? (answer: just one, if he's also a chef)

my episode 5 reaction

Luffy just straight up dissociating over here. A grand start to the episode

Will the trope of someone about to do surgery asking for alcohol and then drinking it ever not be funny? I don't know, but I don't want to live in a world where it isn't

Mihawk wears cowboy boots 👢

I'm so glad they don't call him Hawkeye all the time like they do in the anime. Dracule Mihawk is an objectively amazing name - why the hell would he need a nickname?

Luffy cleaning Zoro's swords + his mental spiral/rant about wanting Zoro to recover is such a gut wrenching moment.

Love me a group of grown men making fun of a child. Poor tiny Sanji has already been through enough guys (as we learn much later in the series) and then Zeff tries to add oregano to his food? The inhumanity of it all!

Just two guys, stuck on a rock, trying to not starve to death. Just a guy watching a bratty kid walk away with all their food. Just a child, laid out in the sun, waiting to die. Just a pair of survivors, dreaming of a restaurant in the middle of the ocean. Just a-

(warning for gross) but like, Zeff was planning on dying and letting Sanji eat his corpse, right? And if they were stuck there for 85 days... what did they eat? Did they finish eating his leg? Bc that seems like the only option. How am I the only one wondering this??

Ngl I don't get the fairy tale Nami reads to Zoro. Maybe that's why I don't get her perspective. Cause she's yelling at Luffy and it's clear that she's upset, but on what planet could Luffy have stopped Zoro from going after Mihawk?

Koby is over here, trying to be helpful by asking Garp to accept his grandson for who he is. Which Garp obvs takes to mean, "if he wants to be a pirate so damn badly, then I'll treat him like a pirate. And kill him"

Meanwhile Arlong slams open the door, late to the party with his Starbucks, ready to make everything worse for everyone.

Luffy trying to talk to an unconscious Zoro - so soft, so pure.

"I can't let innocent people get hurt because of me" must sting. Poor Nami. Everything she's running from is catching up, and here's Luffy literally running at them

HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THERES AN EAR IN THE BAND OF YOUR HAT?? He was just repairing the hat last episode!!

Ok Nami I get it. I get it, right. But telling Arlong to drop him in the sea is such a fucked up thing to do. I can only think that she has faith that one of the crew would go and save him. That has to be it, right?

Nami changing into a slinkier outfit when she goes back to Arlong's crew is Noted.

And there's Sanji, diving into the water to save Luffy, a guy he literally just met. Did he realize that Luffy couldn't swim?

Garp makes his stupid little speech wearing his stupid little dog hat. What is with these ppl wearing animals on their head?

Helmeppo looking over at Koby when he hears about the new plan bc he's caught the friendship bug and it's given him a bad case of feelings

Luffy going to Zoro at his lowest moment to say 'i need you right now. I need you back' is so pure. And of course Zoro wakes up for him

Love me a man who wears a full suit to join his new pirate crew. And when he has a beautiful, emotional goodbye with his father figure? Sanji cries and I cry and we all cry about found families.

The return of Buggy! Poor Sanji is standing at the back, prob wondering what the fuck he's gotten himself into

I'm saving the last two episodes for tomorrow. And once I've finished season one, I'll prob go back to watching the anime. I was at episode 60 I think

Onwards and upwards

[amysterywrappedinanenigma]

Mysterious Benedict Society season 2 episode 5 liveblog!

 I don’t usually liveblog but the energy needed to go somewhere. There were a couple scenes I completely forgot to write things down during, oops. This is vaguely separated by scene. Vaguely. Spoilers below the cut.

- Sticky :( :( :( don’t feel bad it could have happened to anyone :(

- See at least someone knows we don’t trust the cops.

- THE WAY I ABSOLUTELY SCREAMED OUT LOUD. MARTINAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

- I screamed when it went to the court and screamed LOUDER when it showed her.

- Ummm how dare you keep her on the bench, don’t you know who she is 😡

- Her little smile when she picks up the phone and hears Kate 🥺🥺🥺 She looks so hopeful and happy 🥺🥺 Also I love her new hair!!!

- THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT ONCE AGAIN. MY FAVORITE WOMAN IN STEM I LOVE HWR SO MUCH.

- The way seeing both Martina and Garrison for the first time this season knocked me out, it’s like I was hit by 2 trucks in less than 45 seconds of television but in a positive way.

- We paused at the 3:32 timestamp just to freak out about Dr Garrison and Martina. We’ve been paused talking about them for 20 minutes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

- YEAH THERES MORE THAN ONE ARMCHAIR NEUROSCIENTIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except this one actually has a degree ❤️❤️❤️

- Milligan recognizing the element!!! We love his chemist background being remembered!!

- “Split the party” awwww Milligan

- [affronted] “I did the research” I adore her she’s an icon she can do no wrong ❤️

- “Optimal size to stuff down your windpipe” Flashback to Constance’s “she will be weak from lack of sunlight, easy to neutralize” from last season. Let’s see how it goes in practice. No sunlight in a weird basement cave.

- Ooh is Garrison gonna end up coming to help with the happiness side effects? She mentioned something about there being dangerous side effects to the happiness thing, so maybe.

- Ma’am what’s in the jars. Are you making your own candles. Have you taken up jam making? Are they organs?

- Oh she’s. So close to a breakdown

- Lgbt stands for Let Garrison Bite Throats

- It makes sense that the tetherball team was staked out in Stonetown in the car that we saw, since Garrison was after Constance specifically and could easily have found out that she was living at the Benedict house. She wouldn’t have even needed to know about the reunion

- Oh she’s SO stressed

- “I eat bears” Constance ily

- She built the brain sweeper better on her own in her little basement with probably limited supplies and very little help!!!! She’s amazing!!!! Good for her!!! I feel like that’s supposed to be threatening but science crimes are okay when she does them ❤️

- She’s pathetic (affectionate)

- His. Shirt. Is. The. Stupidest. Thing. I’ve. Ever. Seen. The buttons and then the zipper????? The weird sleeves??? And patterns? Hatred. Need to bully him.

- “I’ve been expecting you” I hate him. How many hours/days was he forcing the chef to stay in that room waiting for number two to come through the doors 

- Manipulation food AGAIN.

- Ew that bite he took made my skin crawl.

- I have strong feelings on “Nicholas is happy now. Isn’t that all that matters?” and “I’m sorry that bothers you” and “I think my brother is smart enough to decide that for himself” but that’s for another time

- “I’m not hungry” AAAAAAA

- You’re not allowed to say she’s in a great deal of pain, you’re not a therapist, you’re probably not even a real doctor

- OHHHHHHHH NARCOLEPSY MENTION OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- Garrison and curtain are both just barely hanging on!!!!!!!!! (But when she does it it’s iconic and relatable actually)

- Kate and Martina reunion time!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Martina ily you deserve so much more success than the world has given you. 😞 no college and not enough tetherball I feel bad for her

- Good for you!!!! Worst mistake you ever made!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely roast curtain bc he deserves it!!!!!!!

- “Subconsciously looking for confrontation” what a queen.

- “If they can’t appreciate what I bring, maybe they don’t get a van” she sounds SO petty and she absolutely knows it

- Oh that’s the pie guy right?? 

- What the fuck uhhhh I don’t like the kid also doing it.

- “Spread the joy of our work from person to person, village to villaige…. no one will be left out of our loving, loving family” That’s giving forced religion in a really really gross way.

- J&J really just ZOOOOOOOMED in and I loved it. Favorite weirdos.

- Mmhmm sure you’re just undercover Mr B. Uh huh.

- Number two’s fake smile at curtain, please let her attack him.

- The fact that Curtain hasn’t noticed that THIS many people have gone missing is very telling

- “An endless chasm of sheer terror” “Or a void, utter nothingness” “Ohhh” how does my love for them just continue to grow each episode. J&J stan blog.

- All the homies hate Marlon

- Oh touching your neck, Marlon?? Hmmm wonder what THAT COULD MEAN? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

- “Any financial stress- WHICH THERE IS NONE”

- “Being out from under that man’s oppressive thumb is priceless” yeah it is, go queen

- Pay your mercenaries when you get a chance tho

- Martina saying comrade lmaooooo

- “The asset????” “🙄yes🙄the🙄asset🙄”

- “I guess it’s a good point” yes agree with your girlfriend Kate

- Awwww Sticky Kate lil shoulder bump

- “You say fail, I hear try again.” Good job positive thinking, whisperer! I feel like you could give Garrison some therapy maybe. She’s 3 seconds away from a breakdown at any given point (and I love her for it obviously), she’s so stressed

- I’ll say it again, science crimes are okay when she does them actually

- Old fashioned way????? You’re very unhinged but I support it

- Sticky no we don’t go to the cops

- Therapy time!!!!!!!! Rorschach???

- Oh not Rorschach

- Being absolutely ROASTED by Constance

- “FEMALE CHILD” I’m crying

- “My life is fine!!” Yeah say it again maybe you’ll believe yourself next time

- “You have no idea what you’re talking about” hurt my heart, she sounded like she was about to cry

- Dr Garrison I love you so much get some therapy, and some grant funding

- CONSTANCE. SHES ALREADY STRESSED ENOUGH

- Miss Perumal gets a first name!!!!!!!!

- OOP, GREYS

- Not the clothes not the clothes not the clothes.

- “They almost always are” when talking about her plans, why did that hurt me

- Kidnap the kidnapper!!!!!!!

- Number two have you escaped a cult before because it’s really sounding like it.

- Oh nooooooooo. :) I’m so sad that it happened to Marlon…… I definitely didn’t want to cheer……. :) And haven’t been hoping for this for 2 episodes…….. :) That’s terribleeeeee………….. :) :) :)

- It’s what he deserves

- Can the alpaca eat him

- THEM WALKING IN TO DR GARRISON’s SOBBING ECHOING THROUGH THE HALLS

- This is straddling the line between pep talk and psychological warfare, love you Constance, get her to improve her life by any means necessary

- Can one single person please wholeheartedly support Garrison? I think it would do wonders for her mental health and well-being

- Aww the headdesk, she’s having a real bad day

- “I am PERFECTLY FINE” hm, relatable

I’m mad the episode was less than 30 minutes 😡😡😡😡😡 but it’s been my favorite episode so far! 

[qilingxiong]

Omg I LOVE misfits. Fantastic characters, portrayed by great actors. Do be aware, though, that it's... extremely crude. Sooooooo crude. But!!! Great story, and the characters are to die for. Nathan is, just, the literal best, and Simon and Alicia are.... agh, so...!! Theyre so!! You'll understand if you watch it, but they're just...!!!!!!!!

It's also one of those surprise-depth shows, where on the surface it looks shallow and stupid and the characters are all wanker asshole dickheads but it turns out that they've actually got real depth that, honestly?? is the only reason I love it as much as I do. If it were ACTUALLY shallow and only surface-level, then I would have given up on it early and never bothered with it again, but these characters who seem like such self absorbed fuckheads to start with actually have some real amazing layers to them that make them SO lovable.

Plus the premise is great on both a surface level and a deeper one. Surface level: oh, fun, everyone gets superpowers, but theyre all selfish fucking wankers. Deeper level: oh, neat, their powers are all reflections of their personality. The one who's always anxious about what others think of her can suddenly hear others thoughts. The one who's shy and retiring can become invisible. But then!! There's a deeper level again!! Because what seems fun at first (wow, neat, I can make anyone I touch want to sleep with me) suddenly becomes a massive burden (wait oh no I can't touch anyone without them wanting to sleep with me) and forces them to confront things they would rather not (sex is easy and impersonal but emotions are scary, but emotional connection is the only way we're going to be able to have a relationship, bc I literally can't touch you)

And Nathan??? Oh my god Robert Sheehan puts his whole entire soul into that role. Cocky smarmy selfish jackass of a human who's actually got a heart of pure gold is such a common character choice (and for good reason - that's my FAVOURITE type of character) but the way Robert does it with Nathan is just next level. This guy is THE pinnacle of Most Annoying Selfish Dick Bastard you've ever met -- but he's homeless bc his mum kicked him out and he's got daddy issues 82 miles long and he lets slip bits and pieces of his youth that make you go Oh Shit but he brushes it all off because making a joke out of it all is literally the only way he knows how to cope and hes living in the rafters of the community centre because hes alienated all of his friends so badly that he doesnt even have a couch to sleep on and his dad once bought so much of that flat pack furniture from Ikea that he couldn't fit Nathan in the car so he just left him behind in the Ikea food court, and hes worked out how to jimmy the vending machine bc thats his only food source and theres nothing in the world he wanrs more than a family; not even touching on the Jaime situation (jaime my beloved), this guy sees any baby that doesn't have a father and he IMMEDIATELY, with ZERO hesitation, says "oh, ok. I guess I'm your dad now" and he does this TWICE with TWO DIFFERENT BABIES and he cares sooooo much and he DESPERATELY tries to pretend that he doesn't care at all and i just love him so much, ok? So much.

I never saw the final seasons in total because once Nathan left the show, it lost most of its charm for me, but those first 2 seasons are absolutely fantastic. I quote them ALL the time. ("Great FOOKIN rescue!" "We're a bunch of young offenders and not one of us knows how to steal a car!? Pathetic!" "And then she FEINTED" "I don't care if he's dead; it's no excuse for rudeness!" "I'm pretty sure this breaches the terms of my ASBO". I could go on.)

The later seasons have some great (tragic heartbreaking amazing) storylines too, but S1 and 2 hold my heart, ngl.

So. Those be my thoughts on Misfits.

Ooooh, okay! You have successfully reinforced my intention to watch it and I'm gonna go hunt it down at a library somewhere. I love looking at the drawbacks of superpowers and in this show it sounds very fascinating, also I've watched a couple clips of Nathan on YouTube and he already has a portion of my heart, I am SO excited to see Robert thriving there. Thank you for sharing!!

[monstraduplicia]

im literally going insane I hatw my life so much and everything js so hard for me I'm a useless person everyone expects these great amazing things from me bur I cant even be a normal fuctioning adult I cant clean I can't cook food I can't drive I can't do anything but work my silly little job and then come home snd do nothing like I'm so tired all the time and I need days of recovery for work and I hate doing chores I dont habe the energy for them but I live in constant filth sjd I'm so poor and stressed out bx everythinf is so expensivs snd my laptop is broken and going bacj to school terrifies me snd my gf needs me to be steong snd I wanf to be stronf I want to support her and take csre of her but theres so much going on always!!!!!!!!!!!! I can never have a break bc the hours and the days go by so quickly and I just want to scream at the world to stop so I can catch my fucking breath

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[darkicedragon]

darkicedragon https://twitter.com/ruebirds/status/1361807568860024836 would m21 be pining after frankenstein? and/or m21 thinks hes pining, bc wtf are emotions. he knows rage and guilt and everything else is just ???? aZure I have had M be their son in so many AUs I cannot have a M21/Franken my brain goes son - dad but I think it'd be v confuzzling bc FEELINGS he's never felt he can't place them and doesn't know what to do with them darkicedragon exactly XD person he felt closest to was m24, so hes just like 'i guess its the same????' 'person i dont want to kill or hurt, therefore it must be love/care, right??' so hes just like .///. trying to sit next to frankenstein, bc thats what he did with m24 but its not quite the same and he cant figure out why and is it just bc its not m24? and frankenstein gives him a pat and m21s just like >////< bc so much confusion and he doesnt like it aZure YESSSS bby has a crush and doesn't know how to handle it

'what do I do with it???" wat is this feeling??? family??? friend??? darkicedragon so hes just self combusting out of confusion XD and sure, he could tell m24 ANYTHING but this is frankenstein a scientist (and probably early enough that m21 thinks hes a 'noblesse' still) ...he'll get to the point where he assumes that he's been drugged to be more compliant and like frankenstein bc thatd be the only thing that makes sense, right? aZure 'I has feelings, which means... DRUGS" darkicedragon 'ITS THE ONLY REASON' 'm21...youre grieving' 'NO IM NOT!!!' 'IM NOT. BC GRIEVING IS WHEN YOU CARE ABT SOMEONE, AND MISS THAT THEYRE GONE. AND I DONT. BC I HAVE TO KEEP LOOKING FORWARD. AND FIND - A-ANYWAY. IM F-FINE. THERES - THERES NOTHING- q-q QnQ' aZure YESSSSSS XDDD and that's how M discovers the amazing world of ✨ FEELINGS ✨ darkicedragon 'ITS NOT AMAZING' (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ aZure M confronts Franken about it 'ok, if I'm feeling - *gag* 🤢  - feelings, then why I'm nervous around ya, huh? why do I wanna be around u? and why do you make me feel safe, huuuuuh?" darkicedragon 'i have given you shelter and food, with no requirements? (aside from working at the school). as for nervousness, well, there could be a myriad of reasons for that' aZure how is M going to find out about the magical world of crushes XD from like a teen magazine from school? [Do you have a crush on that boy? Find out with these 12 easy questions!] darkicedragon XD tao? XD 'you okay? you kinda go red whenever you see him. ...O_O is he treating you okay?? should we get outta here??' aZure "he is treating me too well! that's the problem! =//<//= darkicedragon 'ooooh, like a crush? >8)' taos teasing, but m21 just goes redder aZure and then Tao is like 0-0 "oh shit, I was teasing u, but u are having a crush on the boss" darkicedragon ...aaaaah. jealousy, that he doesnt realise. bc he sees frankenstein and muzaka together and it just...hurts. darkicedragon okay, with muzaka there the whole dynamic gets flipped, bc muzakas always willing to just pat his shoulder and be in his space and m21s just like >///< but also @//@ bc of both touch starvation and touch aversion is totally fine and wants touch with ppl he likes HISSSSS at complete strangers touching him aZure yesss does M get a crush on da Daddies™️ ✨? aZure both yesss and hisss at being touched by them darkicedragon misplaced feelings, esp when hes finally in a space where he can finally feel and express them, rather than bottling them up aZure yessss Franken gives him books to read on the subject? on how he can identify what he feels so he's no longer as disconnected from his own feelings darkicedragon m21 just like ò//ó taking the booklet from frankenstein and just being like, wtf how is there so many different emotions?? //FEELS THEM ALL AT ONCE ....fuck so hes just a frustrated ball of anger crying in his room bc hes getting overwhelmed by everything and he cant just shut it off anymore and he HATES not being in control aZure YASSS >8D doesn't know what to do and no one can help him hmm, I wonder if he'd trust Franken to guide him through it like "think of the person or situation that's giving you trouble and describe what you feel" "start small, the most basic feelings, and then slowly describe them more nuanced" darkicedragon ಠ-ಠ 'how the fuck do u describe a feeling' 'and UR the one giving me trouble and >//<' QnQ >////////< aZure Franken gives him that emotion chart so he can follow that and slowly figure it out aZure 'you know you are angry when you are angry, right? and happy, when you feel happiness. The same way you can describe these polarizing feelings, start describing what you feel now. Is what you feel something positive or negative? Does it make you want to do something? Run and hide or confront something or someone' ... etc darkicedragon ಠ-ಠ ಠ-ಠ ಠ-ಠ????? aZure either way, Franken teaching M how to feel XD darkicedragon 'i dont know??' //all feelings and instincts at once aZure yeeep, Franken will have a lot ta work on him teaching him how to identify what he is feeling darkicedragon yeeeep darkicedragon m21 just scratches off all the positive emotions on the chart, bc nope, never felt those and never will again aZure and Franken goes 🗞️ bc you little shit the fuck u feeling when you're with Kentas or T2 darkicedragon '................' just gets a dead stare, bc m21 put all his points into wit, snark, and survival. he has no processing power for emotions and self-reflection aZure rolls a 1 on an emotion check XD darkicedragon every single time XD darkicedragon m21 then getting another meltdown, bc 'i should know this already! everyone knows this!! they didnt need a fucking book to know!!' aZure "Do you know astrophysics?" "No???" "No one is born knowing anything. We learn everything. From how we feel and how we can identify feelings to astrophysics. Here's books. Read'em' darkicedragon 'did YOU read books on how to identify your emotions? e^e' aZure "No. I had people teach me. Just like you have me to teach you about it and give you the resources needed." darkicedragon e^e e^q e^e aZure couldn't have Franken say about him being taught about his parents QwQ though I guess he could say that and ref to the fact he's like M's dad now ur adopted now, u lil shit get used to having a family and feelings now darkicedragon XDDDD that would probably freak m21 out, ahah darkicedragon 'why do i HAVE to figure this out, urgh. i was fine before all these fucking emotions' 'its not a healthy way to cope, m21.' 'ye-!' 'yes, it helped you to survive, but only in those specific circumstances. now that youre outside of that, you're finding it...challenging to adjust to the differences' aZure "You fighting them won't make them go away. You are fully aware of that. You do need the time to take this at your own pace, but the longer you fight it, the longer it'll take."

[maekwn]

( kim yerim, cis woman ) have you seen MAE KWON ? i heard SHE is a WAITRESS/VISUAL ARTS MAJOR at MAL’S DINER/SUN VALLEY. they’re 22 years old and they’ve been living in san verto for 13 YEARS. they tend to be LOYAL & DEPENDABLE, but rumor has it they can also be IMPULSIVE & STRAIGHTFORWARD. [ tally, 25, GMT+4, she/her ]

tw // seasonal affective disorder, depression, child abandonment

mae kwon –– kim yerim / yeri fc

nicknames: maemae ?? 

birthday: june 25, 1998 - 22 yrs old ; cancer

cis woman, she/her, bisexual

born in gwangju, south korea. 

past !

Mae Kwon, originally just 'Mae' was a little girl who was left stranded by her mother at a young age on a rainy day. Originally born in gwangju, South Korea, her parents moved to New York with her. The little three year old girl was found crying in a parking lot. There was a piece of paper tucked into her pocket stating her name, age, birthday, and the words 'if found, please take care of her because i don't want to. don't try to find me, because you won't. don't try to find her father because he's dead. i’m sorry'. Mae was actually lucky to be found by people without any ill intent. After a lazy investigation by the police department, Mae’s mother couldn’t be traced. 

Mae was in the foster system for as long as she could remember and was moved from one state to another a lot. The longest she stayed at a foster home was with a couple consisting of two married korean women in san verto, california who loved children and wanted to take care of them, but could only take in one kid at the time, and that happened to be Mae. They loved her so much that on her 9th birthday, a year after being their foster kid, she was adopted by them.

Of course, there were a few complications. Mae wasn't properly taken care of as she grew up. She wasn't used to getting whatever she wanted. She wasn't used to being treated like she was someone's biological child. Someone’s favorite thing in the world. She wasn't used to having food whenever she wanted. She was a very quiet kid at first, barely speaking unless she was spoken to first. But once she got used to someone, she was so talkative and happy. Eventually, she got used to her new life and she loved it. Now she couldn't ask for anything better.

present !

Mae now lives a happy and healthy life. She may have not grown up in a great environment, but she was lucky enough to be one of the few older kids to be adopted at the age that she was. Mae is someone who's amazing when it comes to her studies. It is so easy for her to memorize things, and therefore get outstanding grades in school. She, however, preferred art over anything else, if she had to consider a career path. Painting has saved her in her quiet and rough times, and she's gotten so skilled at it. Her specialty was realism, and which sometimes was mixed with other abstract styles. Mae now studies visual arts at Sun Valley School of Fine Arts, and she's going through her last year. It's not fancy, but it's what she prefers. She knows that if theres anything she couldn't learn at school, she could easily learn herself.

Mae has had multiple jobs throughout being in high school and college working as a barista or a receptionist, or what have you. She’s currently a waitress at Mal’s Diner. while her parents are big on helping her out financially if she needed it, Mae is someone who likes to save up and depend on herself.

One thing to mention is the way her childhood has affected her mentally in the long run. She was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, and she was told it was most likely genetic. However Mae, although she knows it's incorrect, she feels like she developed it on her own during her childhood. In fact, she was abandoned on a rainy winter day, and although it's not true in terms of the official causes of the disorder, Mae thinks that day has had a big affect on her mentally regardless. She still remembers it vividly, and especially in the winter when she's suffering with her disorder the most. The impact of that memory just makes her even more depressed than she should be.

personality ! 

mae is that person who could come off as quiet and invisible, with her general vibe, but she’s such a social butterfly whenever she gets the chance. she’s the type of person who would purposely annoy you for fun. she was known at school for being the one girl in gym class who called the coach by his first name shamelessly, just because saying “what’s up, steve?” and seeing his reaction was funny to her. she generally has good patience, but it could run out so quickly, especially when someone is being rude to her or her friends. and despite her being so good at school and on top of her classes, she was lazy when it came to other things, especially whatever job she was having at the time, to the point where she became the type of person to quit work just because she wasn’t vibing like she thought she would be. mae has a shiba inu dog named haruki, and if you call him doge, she will glare at you because she’s so sick of the outdated doge jokes lmaoo anyways that’s her ! 

wc !

- friendsss , i’m always here for friendships - crush ?? 😳 it could be either your character with a crush on mae or mae with a crush on yours ?? i’m here for it - old crush bc it would be funny if mae had a crush on this person and they never acknowledged her existence until now that she’s completely over them lmaoo - co workers ?? they could either be havin’ Good Vibes together or simply not like each other and hate it when the other gets in their way ?  - bad influence 👀 mae isnt really the type of person to do something she knows she shouldnt ,, but sometimes her ass can be dumb if she was around the wrong people - f-fwb ?? 😳 again, mae isn’t really someone who’s big on wilding out but these two could’ve met somewhere like a bar or a club one time and it’s been a Thing since then ?? 

i’m open to more ideas, not necessarily just these !! 

[sootygoggles]

Parent!Paranoia Sanders Sides AU!

No explanation, but I'll probably give the backstory later. For now: memes of Paranoia being an A-class parent and a chaos gremlin. (okay it started as memes but then just ended up as fleshing the AU out)

~~

Paranoia, worried abt his kids: I'm uhhhh gonna go to my room see ya later light sides

Paranoia, sneaking back into the subconscious to check on his now teenaged children: I'm gonna leave duke a r a t that I found and thought looked cool

Duke, waking up the next morning and yelling for 'Nesty bc "HOLY CRAP NESTY LOOK AT THIS RAT ISN'T SHE ADORABLE I WANNA HANG HER ON THE WALL": !!!!!!!!!!

~~

Paranoia gets a habit of sitting on the fridge because his children were wild as kids and sometimes duke comin at you with a knife warrants jumping onto counters

~~

Nesty, who doesnt get paid to deal with duke: I'm raiding dads liquor cabinet it's my due for putting up with this

Paranoia, physically manifesting: put the key to the liquor cabinet D O W N, Honesty

~~

The lights are confused as to why he disappears at random times of the day and night and he just "leave me TF alone before I leave you a goshdarn diddly P R E S E N T while youre sleeping I'm tired"

~~

patton: my child! my dark strange son!!

paranoia, who has children: ,,,,yea ok

~~

Patton ticks him off so he leaves a big halloween decor spider on his bed and nobody sleeps for weeks after that bc pattons too scared to touch it and paranoia maybeperhaps glued it onto his cover

~~

He's like one of those people you know might mean well but ooooooo boy theyre pushin buttons

~~

Paranoia, whos fav animal/insect is spiders and whose children have tarantulas and snakes on the regular: hes not even realistic!! You need to learn to get along with mr sparkles patton!! look at him. he's fluffy!

~~

He has googly eyes and glitter on him at all times of course hes named mr sparkles

~~

paranoia gets to be a little petty. as a treat

~~

Paranoia just carries bags of glitter around and whenever mr sparkles gets duller he takes mr sparkles to the kitchen counter and he dumps glitter on him

Logan and patton are tired of cleaning up bc paranoias just petty enough to make their counters eternally sparkly

~~

"why is there glitter all over the kitchen?"

paranoia, holding mr sparkles: :)

~~

Paranoia, after AA: I hate purple but they dont know that now do they

Paranoia is actually orange the last side is purple lol

~~

Chaos Gremlin dark sides and nobody is surprised bc paranoia raised them

~~

paranoia, going back to see his teen children after acting like a teen all day: what is up, fellow kids

honesty: i am going to lose it

~~

Wrath, coming to yell at them to keep it down: why are you purple I'm purple

Paranoia, cackling bc finally I can get out of this horrible color: *snaps fingers * I'M PARANOIA MOTHERTRUCKERS HAVE FUUUNNNNN I'M GONNA BE MAKING YOUR LIVES LIVING HELL FROM THIS POINT FORWARDS

~~

duke and nesty, pumped for halloween bc u l t i m a t e s p o o k: :D

paranoia, coming out in a traffic cone costume with a shit eating grin on his face: :D

~~

Paranoia, decorating for halloween bc "oh I'm sorry it's just the *sniffles * homesickness and we a l w a y s decorated for halloween" knowing full well all of his decorations are spider and witch themed bc they all like the salem witch trials

~~

He leaves ONE fake snake in romans cereal and the lights just. Lose it. Hes kicked back into the subconscious to be chaotic with his kids, no new side, just the hours upon hours of film hes gotten from the bugs hed placed around the unconscious and a plan for the next several movie nights

He gets back and honesty is w h e e z i n g bc he was watching through the cracks and they make a fail compilation of the light sides

It takes like two months for the lights to just go insane with him around not due to yknow paranoia but bc hes such a gremlin

~~

Patton asks if he was raised by wolves and he shoves mr sparkles at patton saying "take the issue of how I was raised up with my father, a-hole!!"

He doesnt actually curse he just yells "A-HOLE" so loud his kids can hear

~~

They dont find out he's a dad until hes summoned and hes making cookies or smt with the kids and hes in a bright orange stereotypical witch outfit,,, corset and all and an apron that says "worlds most chaotic dad" on the front

And hes talking to one of the kids like "duke you can only put dish soap in your batch nesty cant digest it like you can"

~~

Patton has an apron that says worlds least chaotic 'dad' courtesy of paranoia he made it himself(read: he stole pattons good apron and scribbled over it in sharpie)

~~

Paranoia is always close to cackling when around the lights bc theyre newbs to any chaos

~~

Roman and remus are twins but roman is the kind of kid to promptly forget abt anyone and logan n patton knew remus less than a day before he "disappeared" aka ran to the subconscious to explore and theyve just kinda blocked him out

~~

Logans fine with it and actually likes the decorations tho he has asked if they had to be so brightly coloured and if there had to be so much glitter

I say decorations but hes a secret gremlin at heart and is super close to snickering at all times bc of the pranks

~~

Also yes paranoia mildly dads roman it's great but he dads in an older sibling type way

~~

So pat and logan are all "hes fitting in as an older brother well" and they tell him abt their approval of his older brother chaos and hes just like "no this is how I am deal with it nothing to do with brothers" bc hes not telling them abt his kids he doesnt trust them

~~

Hes up at like midnight complaining with logan abt how patton doesnt let him be full chaos gremlin and logan says "mmmhmm did your parents in the dark side let you go wild with the chaos" and paranoia just,,,,, looks at him, dead in the eyes, and says "I dont have parents"

Cue logan being confusion

Paranoia, who genuinely didn't have parents: my parents are mr sparkles and the cat we've had for my entire life

Logan, who doesnt know they had a cat and is now worried bc "are you taking care of it???": ???

Paranoia: it's great for keeping the Others in line tho I just say "do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin" and they do their chores while I'm making dinner

logan, incredibly confused: i don't know what you mean but ok

Paranoia: yeah theyre dumb but it's the level of dumb youd expect from my idiots

~~

Or he slips up and refers to them as his children/kids and logan, not realizing they have an Actual Father/Sons relationship/age difference(paranoias abt.late 20s early 30s, remus defies all logic and has been about 9-10 for a few years now, and dees like early teens) just says "huh how.interesting would it be to have to deal with people your age that immature" and paranoias just. "Y e a h t h e y r e t o t a l l y t h e s a m e a g e a s I a m"

~~

Duke is very much baby and upon seeing duke eating glue paranoia and honesty the idiots decided to try it too

theyre so dumb dsdhdhdhjsdh

They AREEE and paranoia, after discovering that duke has the h a r d i e s t immune system they decide to test exactly what he can and cannot safely eat bc he may be dumb but hes also def a Dad and he just wants to take care of his kids and if that includes making sure that duke can safely consume toilet bleach then so be it

Duke can eat almost anything short of actual cyanide but cyanide just makes him sick like stomach bug sick

He somehow gets a fever,,,,, he has it for like half an hour and paranoia is amazed

Hes in bed,,,,, paranoia makes him soup,,,,,, hes all better and running around again

~~

Paranoias parenting rules:

Dont murder your brothers pls

Do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin

Glitter is always a yes

Insults are fine just make sure you dont overstep and make your brothers insecure

all of them are printed and then the last one is scrawled at the bottom in

If you get sick, tell him immediately bc he will find out and he will be the most obsessive parent to make sure you feel better ASAP

If your pronouns/name/function change, tell him immediately, he'll make sure you dont feel uncomfortable as well as he can

Duke dont put dish soap in honestys baked goods you know he cant digest it

It's a nice system for making chaos but keeping it manageable

They're all printed then the last one's scrawled in glitter gel pen and duke wrote a reply that said (I'm sorry yall dont have as good an immune system as I do)

There was a whole passive aggressive arguement on the bulletin for the next week before it got taken down to make room for dukes art

They eventually started just putting them up over each other and using magnets instead of thumbtacks

The entire bottom portion of the walls are painted in chalkboard paint so theres no unerasable drawing on the walls and the rest of the paint is magnetic so they can hang pieces everywhere

Dukes improving rapidly tho and doesnt like looking at his old art all the time so paranoia holds onto the drawings in several filing cabinets in case he ever wants to do redraws or needs his original prints to make something in the Imagination

also bc,,, sentimental

jus a little

Yeah bc "yes my child draws nothing but blood gore and new animals but hes a creative genius and I love all of his art"

~~

Roman: anxiety I can see why you left

Paranoia: ??? What?? It's spoopy season??

Roman: there was BLOOD on the WALLS

Paranoia, internally: oh!!!! Duke perfected his blood recipe!!!!

Paranoia, externally: how did it taste?

Roman: WHO TASTES THE BLOOD ON THE WALLS?!?!

Paranoia: if it tasted like lemons or citrus you need to stay off of most foods, stick to crackers and broth- don't eat anything heavy until you're sure you wont throw it up

Patton, who was making cereal: ????

~~

Also!!!! @iliveinprocrasti-nation Thanks for helping me flesh this AU out!!!

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞��😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices

[supervillanelle]

I WANT U TO ANSWER QUESTIONS 14 THROUGH 50 FOR THAT ASK THING, OR IF THATS TOO INSANE A NUMBER JUST PICK SOME RANDOM ONES, IDK BUT I LIKE READING YOUR ANSWERS SO IF U DID ALL OF THEM I'D THINK THAT WAS GREAT anyway idk why im yelling now get 2 work

ALLISON WTF?????????????????? THATS 37 QUESTIONS IM LAUGHING SO FICKING HARD FGKSHSDUDUFUDUFIFKGIGIFIFUCUAGSGDHFJFIFJDJSJSUSJIVJCIHXHOXHCHXIGXYSYYDJFLKFDKFAKFAKGZZG IM GONNA DO IT HANG ON

(It was supposed to be 37 questions but i skipped the ones i had already answered, okay?)

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

Not at all 😩 i have no talents, babe

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a leo, and i dont believe in astrology, but sometimes i can relate to my sign

19. Favorite old film?

Old films are really not my thing BUT i really like scary movie 1 and 2, and the exorcist (those were the only old movies i could think of im sorry shakshskshsj)

20. What’s your hairstyle?

ugh okay its curly and brown and very short and it needs to be stopped

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

I really like when its sunny with clear skies but like, its not awfully hot, its just, nice

22. What upsets you most about the world?

Lots of things upset me, but two things upset me the most: how much prejudice there is, and how unfair the world is!!!

Like, sexism, homophobia, racism, thats so fucked up and some people actually agree with it??? lik what the fuck? how can you hate someone just for being different than you? and sexism is just so bad bc we’re so used to it that we accept all kinds of stuff bc its just normalized to us, you know? We accept men acting like shit and we agree with them and support their behaviour bc we learn that way, that men can be shitty and they dont have to try to be better people, but we’re so quick to judge women for literally anything they do, and it just keeps being normal to us!! we need to fucking change the way we act!!!

And with how unfair the world is, like, some people have so much while some have so little! its so fucked up!!!! and believe me, i know its not my place to say this bc im fucking privileged but its just so fucked up!!!!!! people like me who were born in a family with money just go through life so easily, we dont know shit anything and we still have the nerve to think we’re bettee than others, its so fucked up!!! And there are people who were born with no money, with no decent family, and just bc of that its allowed for them to live like shit? to not have any kind of support in life? if they need food, housing, medical care, they just have to deal with it and be strong and get through it, or start working as a fucking child?????? its just so fucked up but its never gonna change bc the people who really have money just dont wanna give up a tiny bit of their huge privilege to make it fair for everyone else, and everyone just have to be ok with all that???

23. Are you in love right now?

God no

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

I have a lot of crushes GSKSBSKSBSKSBSK i have online crushes, i have real life crushes, i have crushes that mean nothing to me and i just like them so im not bored shakshjs BUT theres this girl, shes kinda bi? (that what she says), shes my friends sister and fuck i just wanna make out with her for 3 days nonstop, shes just so fucking pretty, and funny and hot and nice and smart and fuckkkkkkk im lonely

26. Do you have a lucky number?

Not lucky numbers but like, just numbers that i like, 5, 7, 12 and 15

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

On a fallen eyelash yes but its not something i do all the time lol

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

What the fuck are emoji spells?

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

Dude shakshskssh no!!!!!

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

I dont know dude, i think freedom is pretty beautiful to me, having the freedom to do what you want, loving who you want, being loved, being happy with yourself without any pressure idk if that makes sense

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

I love both!!!!!!! Literally my thing

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

I love saxophone and violin!!

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

Wind not so much, its kinda scary tbh, but the sound of rain is just great!!!

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

Ok so i have like, two different thoughts, i either live in a small apartment, in a big city, im not good with living with other people but i hope this changes, so eithwr alone or with a roomate is fine by me, with a cat and/or a dog, and im happy with my life! Or, if i end up being super rich, i live in a big house, again by muself ot with roomates is fine, and i have way more than just a dog and/or a cat, and a big pool, and im happy with my life (tbh just picture jenna marbles’ life and its that!!

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

only when i go to some party or bar and i wanna make out with someone, otherwise i never use it, and i dont even have make up, i use my sister’s or my mom’s

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

I do!!! I cant really explain but like, its above the knee, no sleeves but like a thin strap? and its dark blue with little green zebras all over it

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

Romantically or in a friendship? Yes for both. I just stay sad forever, but it just gets less shitty with time

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

In real life its this girl from college but rn shes actually mad at me so idk if shes still close to me lol but shes so nice and funny

41. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert that becomes too much and bery annoying after you get to know

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

I have NO IDEA what mbti is

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, a or an angel?

I think id be a vampire

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

ive been thinking about this for a while now and i cant remember the last time someone showed me a song

45. Parlez-vous français?

No (thats no in french btw)

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

London and nyc are fucking amazing

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

When im home alone in silence ugh amazing

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is goreous!

Not really? Im good but thanks?

49. Favorite shoe you own?

All my flipflops, my converse and thats it

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

I can and i actually love wearing heels i think my legs look great on them

[shhbean]

fuck it! some thoughts on al’s years in xing. if you guys have thoughts or criticisms let me know! i just wanna ramble lmao.

also don’t reblog lmao bc theres a lot of errors in here and its all sporadic and frankly embarrassing

okay so first things first i think in the two year gap between the promised day and the post canon adventures the brothers keep up a correspondence with ling and mei through letters (bc theyre planning this big adventure and its wild that they would show up unannounced even tho i know thats theyre style but als like. mmm dont want lan fan to execute me on sight)

side note! i think of xing as a relatively isolationist country, but with a phone and railway system that operates within itself, not on the outside (its a big country! people need to communicate!) ling is not against isolationism per say, only because drachma and amestris are still very much Major War Torn disasters, however ling puts a big emphasis on assisting refugees and families displaced by war. he also holds relatively frequent council with their bordering countries* *more on this later. but i dont see xing moving away from isolationism until ling is MUCH older. and even then most of their opening up mostly revolves around trade and world aid. 

ed sort of bangs his adventure out west in like a year and a half, because hes kinda. rarin to get back to rush valley and marry winry. al spends about three and a half years in xing bc he has to learn the language AND a brand new form of alchemic science. (with visits back to amestris for. weddings, occasional holidays and meeting his nephew and niece)

when al gets to xing the first thing he notices are 1) the food is incredible (though some of it is spicer than hed realize and amestrian food is blander than he thought)  2) the art and architecture is amazing and beautiful 3) he’s never worn silk before and he privately amends to never make that mistake again 4) ling has two modes Emperor mode and Ling mode (al has been on the receiving end of both 5) lan fan seems much happier 6) mei got taller

side note yes ed and winry have the emperor of xing and his sister, the princess and imperial alkahestrist at their wedding. no no one knows how the fuck to deal with it jfhgkjfdhjk

ling, in order to establish security for clans with less power appoints one family member from each clan to his court. hence why mei becomes imperial alkahestrist at 16. this ruffles a lot of feathers, and lings happy for it. 

in general one of lings biggest projects in his time as emperor is helping the poor and disenfranchised of xing. he has the aristocracy pretty much on its knees all the time. 

al spent so much time in the two years preparing for his trip studying up on xingese culture, tradition, and especially xingese aristocracy because he didnt want to offend an entire culture (he leaves that to ed) only for mei and ling to horrify the entire court by yanking al into a very tight HUG 

ling continues to horrify the court by asking al for advice and counsel in front of everyone lmao

lan fan has other family members! not just fu! she has a whole mom and two younger sisters. lan fan remains ling’s personal gaurd until she turns 20, and then she appointed captain of the guard. she really loves her job and honestly being home has made her 1000% more outgoing and confident (not when shes guarding tho obviously) 

lan fan’s family has their own suite in the palace, for being the yao’s families faithful servants. however once lan fan becomes captain of the guard she insists on sleeping in the barracks (this annoys ling greatly. though he doesn’t say anything)

mei is an INTENSE teacher. not so much izumi level bet she has al wake up at 6 am every day and run arrays for her until shes decided shes satisfied. al does not mind this, he likes watching the sun rise 

al takes awhile to learn xingese. and once he’s finally mastered it he’s better at speaking it than writing it (his script is basically chicken scratch) this sort of impedes his alkahestry lessons too because of a lot of the tomes and books on it are in xingese. a lot of al’s lessons are spent doing translations

jerso and zampano, somehow, pick up xingese stupid fast. al is furious lmao. 

winry and ed and their children (lil 1yr boy sig and actual baby baby girl nina) come out to visit at behest of ling. xing had no established automail program, just a few engineers here and there, so winry worked with him to train a few automail engineers. this becomes one of the only forms of trade that xing has with neighboring countries. an automail material trade agreement was presented by general mustang and signed off by emperor ling and furher grumman. (an eventually, would become a regular commodity of amestris under roy’s rule as furher) 

once his three years of research and study are up al (now 21, keeping track of ages for my benefit, bc this timeline largely exists in my head) heads back to amestris to write his paper and swap notes with ed, and eventually publish a book together. ed somehow earned a fucking PHD in three years while al was away. al is once again, is furious and super proud. (he privately amends to earn his in 2) he convinces mei (now 19) to tag along to help continue her own research on the link between alkahestry and alchemy. ling lets them go and starts a research initiative that funds their travels all over the world. 

mei and al visit scar alot on their travels, and while theyre in ishval they help out the community (doing wonderfully but still needs a hand every once in a while) wherever they can. mei’s always so excited to see scar. lots of hugs and catching up. scar always fixes al a hairy eye when he arrives with mei (note they are very much JUST friends at this point. scar does not care....probably having flashbacks from how quickly ed and winry got together fvjdghjkf) 

they also have tea with the newly promoted brigadier general and his captain every visit. who...share a tent. al and mei make sure not to comment. this does not stop jerso and zampano from commenting. (roy and riza are doing well though, and very much concede their authority to scar and miles on every deciding fact. reparations suits them) 

mei’s 22nd birthday is spent in ressembole where ed and winry and their babies have relocated. pinako (still holdin on strong) watches her great grand babies. ed and winry have alcohol for the first time in 5 years. chaos ensues. al and mei watch he stars and al starts to realize maybe. he might. have a crush. oh well. not going to address that. too much work to do. 

on al’s 27th birthday he has a mild crisis about how old he’s getting. ed, 28 a whole professor, with a third goddamn kid on the way, laughs at his pain. mei (24 now. jesus. im writing this why am i getting whiplash) receives a letter from miles telling her scar, much to humble to admit it, has been made lead representative speaker for ishval. he hints that al should be on the lookout for a letter coming his way. and sure enough, a letter asking if al would like to be the amestrian ambassador to xing arrives at their doorstep. 

and then its back to xing again to get ling to sign off on the order (of course he does) and to get his approval on al and mei’s courtship (re: not engagement. theyre very slow lmao). (that one requires a longer conversation wherein lan fan threatens al with a knife) 

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[artemis-lesbian]

8 9,11,14,15,16,38,54,58 70,75,81 asfdhdkflghs that's a lot but i'm a nosy bitch

OH JEEZ I appreciate these even tho they're gonna take me a while bc I'm doing it on my phone ahshdhdh. Also this got long as FUCK cause idk when to shut up even when typing lmaooo

8. Describe your crush

Mmmm idk that I REALLY have a crush rn like I send nice anons to a cute femme on here bc shes pretty and I like her personality but I wouldn't say I really have a crush atm

9. Describe your perfect mate

"Mate" agshdhdh UH idk I dont really have any preconceptions abt who I would like, like i keep my options open i dont wanna have this vision of a perfect person for me personally bc i feel like then I'd never find them but like ideally someone who's kind and understanding and is willing to put in effort into a relationship bc relationships are WORK yknow it's not always gonna come easy

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes I do!!!

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Nahh not really. See above lol

15. Do you have any piercings?

No I do not! I wanna get my ears pierced and I've kinda flirted w the idea of getting a septum piercing one day but that one I'd try out w fake piercings first cause idk if itd suit me lool

16 for some reason didnt copy and I cant go back to it on mobile but I think it was do you have any tattoos

No I dont! I know of 2 tattoos maybe 3 that I want so far but idk when I'd get them. The 1st I want is a double venus the 2nd is the dates I came out to my parents and the 3rd I'm still thinking abt ahshdh

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

YEAH in hs I had like a MAJOR crush on this straight (as far as I know) girl in my english class who I had barely even talked to she was just v v pretty and I was like....fuck....I didnt wanna crush on a straight girl ahdhhdh

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Ummm I'd say theres quite a few people I will never forget like they're all people that have made a difference in my life or otherwise people that just stood out to me like for example when I worked at a fast food place there was a deaf family that came in a few times and they're a major reason why I'm gonna take sign language next semester bc I was like wow they cant even order their food bc I have no idea how to communicate w them bc I and so many other abled people dont even consider to make the world a little more welcoming and accessible

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Oh god ummmm

1. Be kind. If you're a selfish asshole that's an automatic no from me dawg

2. Try to make an effort to actually listen to me and the things I like. There is nothing worse than saying u like something and having someone go "ugh that's dumb" like at least be kind if you dont like it!! Just say like oh that's not for me but it's cool that you enjoy it like?? Or if you've never seen it/read it/etc try it out! Even if it's not something you enjoy and don't continue it the thought is great! I do that for everyone I care about so itd be amazing to have someone do it in return

3. Tell me explicitly how you feel. I'm not a mind reader and I'm EXCEPTIONALLY bad at reading people so I don't like to be expected to guess. If you talk to me and are honest about how you feel that's amazing

4. Little gestures go a long way. Sending me a video or a meme like hey I thought of you when I saw this. That's really sweet and shows that you actually think about me

5. Just be there. Literally just keeping a relationship going even just a friendship like. If we communicate regularly I'm gonna get attached lmao

70. What turns you on?

UH. honestly never having been in a relationship or anything......not a clue. literally the only thing coming to mind is like...a girl dancing for me. GOD thatd be amazing ahshsh

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

I think one of the sweetest things is my hs teacher that I still keep in touch with learning that i was unemployed then trying to help me find a job. Like I'm no longer her student and she doesnt have any obligation to help me but she cares so much about me that she has written me recommendations and sent me links to job postings...like she just went out of her when she didnt need to and I didnt ask her to. It made me so happy that she cared so much about me that she would do that

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Oh jeez like literally just scroll thru my #beautiful tag ahshdhdh but in no particular order

1. Gal gadot

2. Brie larson

3. Zendaya

4. Katherine mcnamara

5. Emeraude toubia

Like this isnt even necessarily a top 5 but just like the first 5 to come to mind lmao