#bc that truly feels a reflection of the time the show was written in

[jennycalendar]

can tenmartha be an option.

[eerna]

Just finished arc 2! I liked it but I also very much agree with your critiques of it. It felt like they didn’t flesh this out nearly enough.

I was waiting the whole time for the other shoe to drop with Isha. I felt like in season 1 we saw a lot of how Silco DID love Jinx but his own goals & traumas skewed that love and negatively impacted her. Also in S1 seeing that Jinx (especially as a kid) just wanted to be helpful/feel like she was worth keeping around, and the toll that took on her. At the beginning of S2 I felt like I was kinda seeing potential of that cycle/parallel continuing with Isha. But then it just fizzled out. Instead of “oops, jinx learned unhealthy relationships from Silco and now she is accidentally continuing that cycle” or parallels of “a child taking on responsibilities that she shouldn’t have to/a parent figure being too dependent on their child” I got more of the message of “by the power of innocence, Isha can heal Jinx!” and it’s treated as the magic solution. She’s a child who can’t fully comprehend the complexity of Jinx but idolizes her and the downsides of that arent really explored (maybe the ending of ep6 kinda did but I don’t think the full tragedy really came through). I’m trying not to write an essay in ur inbox but I have so many thoughts on this aghhhh

There’s still a lot to come with arc 3 I’m sure. Something big sure will happen next with Jinx considering how arc 2 ended, but I don’t think they’re gonna go where I hoped they’d go. Also was I not paying attention or did Sevika disappear halfway through the arc?

FEEL FREE TO ESSAY BC YOU ARE SO CORRECT!!!!! Jinx didn't make Silco love her by the power of innocence and childhood. Much the opposite is true. He loved her because 1) she was Vander's kid, and he had the opportunity to replace Vander, 2) he saw himself and his own trauma reflected in her and saw her as the only person in the world who truly understands him, and 3) knew Jinx would love him despite all the abominations he did because she too feels like a monster. It makes sense why she would be the only thing in the world he would be willing to put before himself!

Now, compare it to why Jinx loves Isha. Because 1) Isha follows her around and they have fun, and 2) Isha is a child, and therefore innocently believes Jinx. Like. We're supposed to care because she is a kid, and sure, it is very sad that she is a kid, but it's a very cheap reason to care for a character, and not one Arcane supported before. Powder was 11 and written as a fully realized person. She had unique mannerisms, patterns of thinking, and flaws, while acting like a kid. It's the correct way to approach a child character - treating them as any other character, just aged down. Isha has none of that. And that is by far the most obvious in how no one in the show has a relationship with her except Jinx. Powder existed in context with everyone else! Everyone had an opinion on her! Vi slapped Isha once and that's the only attention she'd ever given her. Warwick allowed her to lead him by the hand, but it's not like he had any special tenderness for her. Sevika (you're RIGHT she just DISAPPEARED) saved her, but it read more like "Sevika is supporting Jinx' final wish to save the kid Jinx loves" than her having any actual investment in the kid. Honestly, next arc they could reveal Isha was nothing but a figment of Jinx' imagination, and it wouldn't surprise me.

[gortashs-skidmark]

something nasty bc there’s not enough gorty content.

Gort’s Big Jork

Enver Gortash x Tav (GN) NSFW!! MNDI! 18+ Content!

Description: Gort jorks it to Tav. Using a Scrying Eye spying system seen in the game.

Spoilers for Act 2 and a little 3

Content Warning: Jorkin’ it idk, masturbating (male), tried to make it smutty, spying on tav, he’s an ass man.

!! Gender Neutral Anatomy. No Male or Female parts explicitly mentioned, bc you bitches always make it afab, it’s much hotter and inclusive when it’s GN descriptions !!

Gort needs to fuck. I’ve never ever written fanfiction before but in desperate need of him. If there are errors comment below and I’ll fix them if I know how. Also Gort is kinda gross in this bc if he can’t tie his own shirt or brush his yellow teeth, he’s not gonna care in this.

𐌄𐌍ᕓ𐌄𐌓ᏵꝊ𐌓𐌕𐌀𐌔𐋅𐌄𐌍ᕓ𐌄𐌓ᏵꝊ𐌓𐌕𐌀𐌔𐋅𐌄𐌍ᕓ𐌄𐌓ᏵꝊ𐌓𐌕𐌀𐌔𐋅

This monitorial invention of his, mounted on the wall in front of him, glowed filling the room with a striking blue hue. Flickering as his living cameras moved on the other side. Everything he could see of his plans in-action filled his view. A few, showed a black screens, in turn reflecting his raw image. The Goblin Camp had been struck to its knees and his few scrying eyes along with it.

He stood with his arms crossed, the rest of his body portrayed in a confident relaxed position. He stood behind a cushiony chair. Gortash could sit, but he didn’t have a lot of time to throw away, staring at the blue-ish shade thrown over Moonrise’s walls. Watching his acolytes pick their noses when they thought no one was watching.

He hadn’t expected Tav to make it into Moonrise, much less with the same company as before. Through Duegar guarding the elevator, and hostile Githyanki ripping through anyone who may have the artefact he sought after, who would have guessed? This may prove a problem if they can slash through just anyone.

Gortash took a deep breath, in through his mouth, out through his nose, tipping his head down without his eyes leaving the screen. He studied Tav through his scrying eye monitors, up and down the eye thoughtlessly followed the miscreant.

He couldn’t help but admire them, truly, and foolishly. They had put themselves through the thick of it, and still landed where it hurt Gortash’s plans the most. They made it to the Shadowlands, blessed by Selûne, and dusted by pixies. How utterly lucky. Unravaged by the Shadowfell, and their brains still have enough holes in it to step into Ketheric’s territory.

He felt his breath quicken and his upper lip curl in disgust. Sheer luck on their side. Never on his. His thoughts were upsetting. By Jergal’s Blessing it shouldn’t be this easy. He had to be a genius and a cunt to make it to his place in the world.

His chest rose up and down unsteadily. His loosely folded arms, now gripped the top of the cushioned chair mercilessly. He hadn’t worn his gold threaded attire, instead in a soft set of navy blue pantaloons and a threaded black blouse. Still his forearm held the stone upon a Gauntlet, he never took it off. It was night-time across Wyrm’s Crossing, his home. He didn’t sleep when the sun went down and the stars came up. He couldn’t sleep now, knowing this hero slipped through his fingers like sand.

Gortash would feel no failure. Bane would see no failure. It was his flawed compatriots with ambitious gods who would fall fast. faster. And he would suffer the consequences of their own failure. This hero, broad backed, snatched waist, adorned in dented armor, a raw frazzled state they were in from the journey there. Blood crusted on the side on their face, on their boots, on their back, on their chest, in the hair of their brow. Maddening. Almost carnal lust took over.

No. No no no no no. No.

Gortash was panting now, a bitch in heat he was. His black shirt clung to his back, sweat started to run down his under arms. It was hot in the room. His pantaloons felt three sizes too small. The fabric was irritating and raw. It was dizzying.

He shakily, slowly, defeatedly, sat himself down, his eyes hadn’t left the screen once since Tav arrived. The scrying eye lowly followed them still, the reflection on the screen gave Enver a whopping view of their ass. Their thighs, large enough to crush his head between them. Their gait, clearly guarded, but their ass still bulging back and forth, left leg, right leg, through their pants as they walked.

Enver needed relief, from the heat, the stress, the dizziness, the itching worry in the back of his mind, possibly even from Bane’s trust. He didn’t want to see how his body betrayed him, he didn’t let Tav leave his sights still as his hands moved downwards to the strings of his navy pants hurriedly. His fingers nearly getting caught every time he loosened one side of the strings. He lifted his hips, thumbs tucking into the sides of his hips and pushing down his pants, to above his knees. He didn’t wear underwear, he didn’t need to. Not when he only could catch moments like these to have to himself.

He sat his tush on the seat again, breathing through his mouth. He couldn’t get enough oxygen, uneven breaths. His tongue was starting to feel dry as he pushed the tip of it against the roof of his mouth in concentration. His right hand, slightly obscured by his gold gauntlet and pointed fingers, gripped his half-hard on that was peaking through his foreskin. He held it, just holding it at the base as his mind emptied any thoughts of his next steps in his plans. He only saw Tav.

The veins decorating the underside of his cock pulsed under his fingers. He was getting harder the longer he stared at Tav’s ass. His jaw shifted tensely from side to side. What he wouldn’t do to tie, bend, and break them in his presence at this moment--Their ass shook, they were laughing. At something he didn’t care to bother figuring out. Any limpness in his cock was gone as it erected up right and curved towards his stomach slightly. It was painfully red, contrasting the darker base.

He could imagine their lower back tensing as they laughed. He gave his base a squeeze. A low airy sound pushed out of him. Pre-cum oozed out of his ever-reddening tip. He started to stroke, slow and controlled. From the base, to just before the tip. His breathing slowed, he felt like he had control again but lost it all at the same time. Only in this moment did Tav and his needy cock matter.

Enver slightly lifted his hips, thrusting- rutting into his hold on his member. Curving his hips up by inches and down by inches. Over and over in a slow aching pace. Tav could be attainable. Under the tadpole’s control, he could figure out a way to make them his- his thing.

He stopped his movements, lifted his hand to his mouth, gathered as much spit in his dried mouth as he could muster. A pathetic amount stringing onto his middle and fore finger. He set his hand back down, rubbing it on his cock greedily. He picked his pace again, up and down with his hand, reaching the tip this time.

He released a short huffed sigh, his back twitched- removing his lazy posture from the back of the chair. He was hunched over now, neck angled up to keep his eyes on their body. His eyebrows sewn together, giving a very needy expression towards the screen. Hand picking up the pace, the spit had done a shitty job and dried up too quickly. A tacky feeling left behind in his hand. He once more took as much spit as he could gather in his mouth, he tried, he really did. He removed his eyes from the screen, only a flicker, to spit on his cock. The noise he made from aiming and spitting was pathetic. As fast as he flickered his eyes down, they were back on the screen. The image of his red, bulging veins, irritated dick, precum still headed at the top with unbroken surface tension was burned into his mind to regret later. Or possibly day dream.

His hand didn’t stop pumping. He hummed in desperation, a bit broken. He was getting close and he picked up the pace. He didn’t have the energy to stand up but he didn’t want to cum sitting down, it wasn’t as pleasurable. He stood up and kneeled slowly on the seat, his knees adjusting his pose as he sought most pleasurable. One knee ended up on the chairs base, the other on the arm rest with his hips lifted up right. His dick directed at the screens. One hand gripped the unoccupied arm rest to keep his balance. The chair would leave red indents on his knees after, creaky and sore too.

Wrist tired, eyes widened and daunting the one screen he focused on. His hand focused on his mid to tip area of his cock. Hoping to milk the blood to the tip. Hand thrusting at unattainable speeds were it a real person he fucked into. He whimpered a bit, his eyebrow creasing even more as he let out breathy moans. His whole body quivered with his forearm’s grip and fast movement. His hips jutted forward sensitively as he neared his peak. He tried to keep upright but he lost his balance in the pleasure. He let out gasps and tight moans as he keeled forward. Eyes shut and using his imagination to guide him now.

He was so desperate to release, all that build up. He lifted his eyes once more to his favorite monitor and saw through his purple scrying spy; Tav, who had hunched shoulders and hips positioned forward, pretty veiny hands adorning those hips too. Thumbs dipping into their lower back, and fingers gripping the peak of their hips. Their pelvic bone was prominent, or something to his imagination. They seemed relaxed. They were speaking to some bugbear with trades. A smile on their lightly painted lips, their eyes creating crows feet as they giggled a bit. What he wouldn’t do to see their eyes scrunch up at him and their mouth opening and lips curving from something he did to them.

He couldn’t chase his release any farther. He had chased it to the precipice. His body jerked and his hands kept at it. His cum shot out onto the floor and leaked between his pointer and thumb. His cum was warm, very warm. White flashes and hot cold chills ran through his shoulders and arms as he neared the very end of his orgasm. He nn’ed and mm’ed in a whiny pitch. This was the first time that night he had felt anything close to cold. His pace was slower but still brutal as he milked every white drop he could from the puffy tip. He only ran his fingers to his mid base and tip, the most sensitive area he had. Red and irritated. He could relate to his cock in this moment.

His hips jerked unexpectedly again as he stopped cautiously, slightly overstimulating himself.

He steadied and huffed evenly. Catching his breath, he released a large sigh. His hair draped over his eyes and his side burns clung to his face slightly with sweat. His mouth shut and his lips touched. Breathing through his nose. His hand was sticky, his glove was a mess. Cum seeped between the gold metal and his warm fingers. His drooping member was a mess. He slowly, very slowly, unglued his hand from his dick.

He blinked at the stone floors a couple of times, sighing again. He lifted his head up, looking around him. His neck was stiff and terribly tense from his previous position. He got into the chair, like a normal person. Ass bare against the velvet lined cushion. Looking around for anything he could use to clean up his fingers, at the least.

He stilled as he reached down to pick up a tossed set of destitute clothes from previous prisoners, sitting in a crate beside the wall in front of him. He looked up at the blue lit rectangle where Tav taunted him. Tav was now talking to a devout gnome bent on controlling gnolls through the Absolute, the back of Tav’s thighs and ass still took up much of the screen. It was a relief in some places of his mind that the scrying eye was a one way mirror for him.

Tav is as Tav does.

He just jerked it to some stranger. He was sickened a bit. Though, an important stranger. Ketheric, no matter how immortal, wouldn’t last their stubborn goodwill. Gortash would have a chance to meet them, he was sure of it. Maybe their next meeting shouldn’t be on his mind while he twisted and wrang his fingers from his cum.

This wouldn’t be the last time he saw Tav. He knew it. This wouldn’t be the last time he sought relief in them either.

[bitterpngs]

...

...

...

… trust, huh?

TL;DR: what i want to highlight with this comic: satoru calling suguru "geto" / suguru crossing satoru's metaphorical line and permanently severing his relationship with him. kenjaku's plan in canon will never come to fruition in this au. what happens after is up to you :)

and yes ik the trust quote is in the context of the other 2nd years! i added it bc it fit, in a way.

this got long sorry lol i started to ramble

LAST NAME - what started this all and what i hope others picked up on was gojo calling geto by his last name, not his first: geto. even after everything geto did during jjk v0, gojo still calls geto 'suguru.' he's still 'suguru' to him. i wanted a scenario in which gojo would reject his first name - reject their past and their relationship. this whole comic idea sprung out of being unsatisfied with geto and gojo's canon relationship. personally, im not the happiest with how things were written in the story and feel like the author could've done some things differently. this isn't to say i don't like or enjoy what the author has written either. i just have mixed feelings.

KENJAKU - in case it wasn't clear, the door closing on page 14 depicts geto with stitches on his forehead - aka kenjaku. what that page is trying to convey is that the moment geto killed yuuta, the future where geto's body is used to box gojo ceased to exist. in this au, kenjaku's plan that we see in the canon timeline would never and will never work. by killing yuuta, geto crossed a line and permanently severed his relationship with gojo. if gojo wins here, gojo will dispose of the body properly. the panel after shows a closed door with the memory of who suguru was. the person who suguru used to be and the best years of gojo's life etc etc. but "broken" bc it's gojo truly realizing that's not who geto is anymore + the whole "severing relationship" thing. does this make sense.

what happens after the comic ends is up to interpretation though

GETO'S PLAN - i didnt focus a lot on the specifics of how this could've happened considering geto's plan changed in this au. how it happened isnt really important, you can come up with whatever you want. what i wanted to focus on, and what i hope people managed to pick up on is the situation itself - geto killing yuuta. sorry yuuta. i'll make it up to you.

i ended it here because it felt the best place, but here's some scrapped dialogue of a few seconds after: GETO: "… It was a necessary sacrifice, Sato-" GOJO: "don't you dare call me that" basically to emphasize the first name vs last name situation

GOJO N GETO - ive always felt uhhh. nitpicky, i guess. about the specifics of everything regarding gojo and geto. ive felt unsatisfied for a variety of reasons, and this was basically an idea that sprung out (a looong time ago) of a want for gojo to be angry at and feel more.. negative emotions, i guess, toward geto. i still do genuinely enjoy their canon relationship a lot tho. i enjoy the way they’re written together and individually, i just have different/multiple feelings about the same thing :)

RIKO AND YUUTA - erm there was a scrapped panel... you can find it on my blog if you're really curious but there was a panel of geto 'remembering' riko's dead body (a distorted memory, because the blood reflects yuuta's injuries). it's not necessarily that riko and yuuta are similar, it's that geto becomes a bit like toji in the end. just like toji, geto tries to kill a young teenager for the sake of his own goals. while toji's was selfish and geto's, in his own eyes, was for the greater good, there's still the similarity of killing a child. of stealing their future for their own goals. plus the fact that gojo killed both of them in a similar way.

TRUST - yeah i know the quote is in the context of the 2nd years fighting geto. still. gojo trusted geto to a large degree, despite everything he did. so. it's going here.

PG 4-6 - geto values and cares about sorcerers so so much. again, he was fine with trying to kill yuuta for his vision and all but i dont think he wouldn't feel some level of. conflicting emotions i guess. (i am very against the idea that geto wasn't... trying to kill yuuta? i don't really get that perspective at all. it'd make all of that meaningless imo. but this isn’t about that.) ok im done.

if you read this entire rambly thing, thank you :D hope you enjoyed!

[eliotquillon]

part of me does wonder if jace and alec would still be parabatai if TMI was a series that came out now/wasn’t the first shadowhuntersverse series that CC wrote. like undeniably the pendulum has swung back and forth a lot over years as to how significant of a thing being parabatai Is - in its original form it was just another unique piece of shadowhunter culture used to cement worldbuilding/character dynamics (eg it’s used as shorthand between luke and valentine to show just how close they were) and then with TID it became a really significant dimension of will and jem’s relationship and continued to be built up with emma/julian in TDA - and while jace and alec’s friendship was developed (and . lets be real. slightly retconned) to reflect this in later books they are still very much the odd ones out of the parabatai pairs. like they are significantly less close in the TMI era than any of the other main parabatai sets.

and while i do think a lot of that is because a) again, the parabatai concept was still in its beta phase when TMI was written and b) alec is having a hard fucking time grappling with his sexuality/crush on jace during city of bones and the months leading up to it, i also think it’s really telling that, for all that red scrolls of magic did a lot of retconning for the inter-CoG/CoFA period and is way more in line with later books in terms of its character dynamics (despite being set mid TMI era), it very much preserved the key detail of isabelle being the person who alec confides in about everything. it makes a point of reminding us that she was the only person alec felt 100% safe in telling about his sexuality and that there are still things he’d rather tell her than tell jace. which absolutely does Not fit with what we see between will&jem or even clary&simon (who i personally don’t think should have become parabatai for thematic reasons but are nevertheless textbook examples of what the parabatai bond has evolved to become in canon). and while i’m very glad trsom upheld that facet of alec and isabelle’s relationship (especially bc isabelle didn’t get to be alec’s suggenes in qoaad, which came out only 4 months before trsom) i think it is surprising that it DID when it highlights what is a pretty big absence in alec&jace’s relationship as parabatai when compared to other matched sets.

like again back in the original late game TMI era of 2013/2014 when will&jem were still implied to be a weird one-off with how close they were this was totally fine. the midnight heir short story from the bane chronicles even alluded to a more strained jace&alec type parabatai dynamic between james and matthew with james going off the rails and getting into fights with matty. i truly do not believe that jace and alec were intended to be this weird dangling thread; it’s just bad luck for them that CC had years to work on TLH in private and retcon james and matthew’s characters/friendship to end up working in a way that fit the developed version of parabatai by the time they were actually main characters. but as it stands TMI era jace and alec feel like such exceptions to the parabatai rule now. idk! this was a very long rambly post and ultimately i can’t see them as parabatai to anyone else (much as i would selfishly love for it to have been alec and isabelle, they would helicopter-parent each other into fucking oblivion if they got a rune-assisted push even further into codependency; they would be terrible parabatai to each other) but it is interesting to think about what would change about them and their relationship if CC were writing CoB today.

[celestie0]

please share your thoughts on vinland saga. what is your favorite character, scene...? what is something you learnt through it?

omgogmogmgmggogm ty for this ask anon also so sorry it took me a while to get around to but i appreciate it i loooove vinland saga sm n i’d love to talk more ab it 😭🫶🏼💕 n if you’ve seen the show too i’d love to know ur answers to those questions as well aaa :””)

my favorite character for suuurrree is thorfinn :”) he is my sweet summer child, the apple of my eye, the kindest of all, my son, my heart, my treasure, my love, i adore him sm there are times where i think of him n i just start tearing up out of nowhere. imma sound so fkn insane when i say this but i really truly believe he exists in my hearrrtttt 😭💕 like he has to, there’s no way these feeligns of adoration i have for him have not manifested on some physical realm i just love him sosososooso much sobs he is my favorite fictional character of all time n i wish i could smooch makoto yukimura very gingerly on the cheek for bringing such a beautifully well written character to life. his determination to become a better person, live true to his ideals, and create safe haven for others is srs so inspirational to me i love him sm

[panels colored by @/hawta_mahmood on insta]

i would literally commit war crimes for him LMFAO (even tho that’s the opposite of what he would want anyone to do for him haha)

as for what i’ve learned n my fave scene(s) i will add a keep reading bc spoilers and also it’s gonna be really fuckin long 💀

what have i learned from vinland saga? dear god, so much. i could talk about this show for hours, HOURS, and i have before!! it is just that dense in philosophy n had my head spinning from all the reflections

of course, there is the infamous line in the show ‘i have no enemies’, which i think can mean a lot of different things to different people, in thorfinn’s case it is the line that allows him to adopt a life of tranquility n pacifism. i think for me, this line taught me to assume the best in people, and once i started doing that i think i learned how peaceful n meaningful life can be. for example, if i interact with a rude person or am fighting with someone i care about, and i am affected emotionally by it, i might think of that lesson from the show and i feel free in knowing that i have no one who i desire to hurt or retaliate against or even harbor negative feelings towards in my head(the saying comes to mind to think or speak negatively about others is to poison yourself) as someone w a lot of fuckin anxiety it’s very liberating to think that way, and i think that’s the biggest lesson i’ve learned from the show (among many, many, many others. i think another big lesson is obviously the subject of forgiveness, both in others and in oneself, but this post will end up being too long if i go into depth of all the things i’ve thought ab while watching vinland saga)

as for my fave scenes, i’ll try to just pick three 😭😭😭

1. end of the prologue. the scene when askleadd dies was so beautifully done. the moment where in his final moments, he urges thorfinn to rethink his life and what he wants from it, and to follow in his father’s footsteps. askeladd was such a cruel, violent, and objectively horrible person n was the cause of thorfinn’s journey of hatred in the first place, and yet in his final moments somehow his words to thorfinn did not feel out of character. that was the moment where i realized wow, this author knows what tf he’s doing and is truly so talented. to have a character’s traits sneak up on you like that, built so subtly throughout the show, so that the payoff feels so real and fitting and not forced, driving the direction of the story in the way we had been hoping for the whole time. fuuuckckf. also, quick mention of the scene where thorifnn finally lets go of his dagger n all the scenes from season one flash by on the metal. fuck. i cry EVERY. TIME.

2. i mean it’s a given, but the scene when thorfinn finally understands his father’s words and admits to a circle of bloodlust vikings that they are not his enemies, and that he has no enemies. what a wonderful full circle moment for his character arc, i get chills just thinking about it

3. this one may be a bit more random lol, but the episode that will forever stick in my memory is gardar’s backstory episode. fuck i could writr a ten page essay about this one twenty minute episode ALONE, but i’ll just pick out the one scene that just kills me. the scene where gardar helplessly watches himself in the past, as he leaves arnheid & hjalti, and there’s nothing he can do to stop himself. fucking hell. if there’s any scene that i think could perfectly show what a feeling of regret is like, that would be the scene, and what fucks me up so much about that scene is how he cannot even manage WORDS. he is a grown man, reduced to intelligible sounds because his pain is so profound and his guilt runs so deep that it is like he becomes all but a helpless child. just kill me, seriously. i had never cried so hard in my LIFE watching anything than in that episode. i sobbed so hard i had hiccups n my sleeves were covered in snot. but the ending, when he got to see his son again in the afterlife n he was the age that he wouldve been if he was still alive :”) my god. yukimura nails anything that has to do with father son dynamics, im sure its because he has a few boys of his own, and his love for his children is so evident in his writing. but also, the fact that he was able to make me feel SO MUCH for a character we hardly knew anything of, and also to use a character that the audience is not very familiar with to tell a story that i think almost everyone on this planet could relate to in some capacity (things we want to change n wish we could go back to do so…) just what a genius genius creative decision like he is just such a wonderful writer i appreciate him so much 😭😭😭

god, all of s2 is honestly my favorite scene LMFAO. the whole entirety of it is a masterclass in story telling. imma just do a quick few more of my fave scene shoutouts tho 😭

thorfinn getting his ear sliced by fox, thorfinn calling einer his brother, thorfinn climbing his way out of valhalla, thorfinn telling arnheid about vinland before she passed away, snake revealing the truth behind ketil’s name, thorfinn reuniting with his mother again. god just all of it. i swear, just all of it.

GAT DAYUM THIS IS LONG but idgaf i’d talk about this show until i draw my last breath lmfaooo thank u anon for this ask im clearly insane 🤣🤣🤣 ur probs like im never sending this bitch an ask ever again LMFAO just joking but srs i appreciate it i had a lot of fun answering :””) i just love this show so much

[angstydisaster02]

A “small” analysis of bkdk’s relationship - manga spoilers

—-

I watched this edit I liked a long time ago in my editor phase. This was just the song “Dynasty” by Mia mixed with manga spoilers, and it made me realize how much their relationship has improved today.

It’s crazy to think how this started as childhood friends, with bullying, and ended up with sacrifice. Today, we have Katsuki Bakugo, who’s ready to sacrifice twice for Izuku when he was the one who despised him at the beginning. This story isn’t jousted about their chemistry and how they complete each other but also about their character development, especially Katsuki’s. We’re talking about a teenager who was lost with himself and used violence as a coping mechanism, someone who’s about to fight for his goals and know what he wants to do. The same guy was scared to admit his weakness and revealed them twice before Izuku.

The whole Izuku/Bakugo relationship has been strong since the beginning. When Izuku integrated UA and learned that the blond had left the place, his first thought was to rush toward his childhood friend and explain everything…because the thought of Katsuki hating him was unbearable to him (at this period and how distant they were). Katsuki was the first one to know about the OFA, to learn the most important secret in his childhood friend’s life, and to adapt himself to this new lifestyle.

Which made us switch to kidnapping. The Kamino arc when Izuku saw his biggest fear taking form in front of him for the first time in his life…when he couldn’t save Katsuki. Imagine how hard it must be to see someone you’ve known your entire life and care about fading in front of you without knowing if you’ll meet them again.

This moment was an essential point in their relationship where it reflected their mindsets. Izuku was afraid of being rejected and failing the rescue mission, so he gave it to someone the blond could trust. Izuku never truly spoke about this period, and I’m wondering what he truly felt…if Horikoshi even said himself how it was an angsty moment, it says a lot about his character’s mindset. The fact that Izuku thinks his childhood friend would’ve never accepted his hold, putting his life in danger even more, would be heartbreaking. At this period, Izuku was the only one showing his admiration for Katsuki and thinking it was one-sided.

It was the opposite. Indeed, Katsuki had been warning the freckled man not to reach him because he knew Izuku would risk his life for him, and it was something he wanted to avoid.

Then Deku VS kacchan happened and changed their relationship into something healthy. For the first time in their life, they both had a heart-to-heart talk and expressed what they truly felt, revealing their vulnerabilities around each other. It led to a more robust and healthier relationship to the point where today, Katsuki apologized for his mistakes in front of everyone after being the one finding Izuku.

Katsuki’s characters’ development is insane and well written, revealing how Katsuki wasn’t just the bad guy but a human with feelings, fears, and doubts. Izuku was the one by his side and never left him until the end (aka the event chapter bc the story isn’t over yet). Today, Katsuki bakugo sacrificed himself to save his childhood friend, Izuku, the first thing he had in mind when he woke up, only to learn it was too late…saying the opposite of the things he said years ago.

Katsuki cares about Izuku. Izuku cares about Katsuki, and yet…none of them know. The freckled man was planning his friends’ rescue mission, with the impression of being a burden…when Katsuki planned to find his childhood friend the entire time and look for him at the hospital.

None of them know how much they mean to each other, and it's the saddest part of the story…the untold things. Maybe they’ll never know, maybe they will one day, but this is insane.

[oopsiedaisymae]

Writer ask game? hehehe

On today's fruit platter: 🍓 🍎 🍐 🍇

MWAH!

MWAH jes thank u for the ask!! i will try my best to answer o7

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated?

i'm not one to jump to thinking my works are underrated all that often, both because i'm a bit hypercritical of my own work and also bc i can usually predict what might be more popular based on the premise/character i'm writing. but if i had to give an answer from each blog:

cool about it is a songfic-thingy that i wrote for obey me nightbringer around this time last year. when i was going through my masterlist and reorganizing everything, this is the piece that stuck out to me the most as being better than i remembered. some of the phrasing really hits in my opinion, too:

"but being around you leaves his head devoid of all reason. he craves you like flowers crave rain in early spring, like the dead of night craves the gentle kiss of dawn." - mammon's section

"he doesn't question his fondness towards you. you're just... special. he doesn't want to question what makes you feel so nice to be around-- he'd rather just bask in your warmth, like a child savoring the summer sun." - beel's section

i also, like many others, think nightbringer's premise was underutilized for the massive change it made to the franchise. i wish they'd explored the dynamic of knowing the past demons more thoroughly before reversing it, maybe made it an entire spin off game and continued the og timeline? i'm not sure. but i think the early dynamic of nightbringer was really interesting and i like how i captured it here.

back brace blues is a fic i wrote for twisted wonderland about lilia vanrouge. i think it was a pretty decent dive into my first "longer" fic for that blog (longer used incredibly loosely). i wrote it from some inspiration i got from some hcs about him floating around and a fic from a now-mutual of mine about giving him a back rub. as someone who chronic back pain myself i think it's incredibly fascinating to show lilia's age in subtle ways like that. in general, i think lilia has one of the most interesting backstories, and this was my way to explore it. idk. i think the piece is based around some interesting headcanons and some soft domestic moments that i like.

🍎 Is there anything you straight-up won’t write?

despite the things that i tend to post being pretty fluffy and contemplative, i've dabbled in writing other stuff offline. sexual content, violence, stalking, murder, etc etc... just some truly feral shit i've explored over the years with a particular writing buddy of mine. i got into creepypasta at like, 10 lol. my writing boundaries are based on whatever i feel like writing and always in flux. some things i don't ever see myself writing, though:

pedophilia, cuz i think it's a very serious issue and also gross as fuck (includes grooming, very imbalanced power dynamics played completely straight, etc etc)

graphic torture, cuz i'm squeamish and don't have the constitution for that

non-con and cnc, cuz i don't personally like it at all even though i can understand why others do (the ability to give consent in a fantasy that hinges on a lack of it, etc etc)

scat/piss/vomit, cuz squeamish

rough BDSM stuff, cuz i don't like it

probably never gonna write selfship stuff cuz i'm much much more interested in creating ocs and specific narratives

other things that i personally just find gross/upsetting/annoying/am disinterested in etc etc that i either cannot think of right now or have not discovered i dislike yet

i'm someone who has always been really clear in my personal boundaries and moral convictions, because i personally am very keen on separating fiction from reality. i'm a massive pussy and moralist irl (can't even steal from villagers in minecraft bc what if they starve :'( rip) but i think the ability to look at something in fiction and pick it apart knowing it's entirely not real can allow us to reflect on the nature of humanity etc etc. hence why i can read stories with demons and murders and yet can't really stomach true crime. but that's just my opinion personally!

🍐 Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

a lot of my biggest gripes center around shitty characterization and thoughtless plot points. obey me is incredibly guilty of this so here are some things i constantly correct in fics or just in my general understanding of the lore:

solomon's characterization, specifically in nightbringer and fanon. i talked about him in my last post. idk when the hell he got this reputation as a soft boy that's never done anything wrong. that man's a fucking war criminal lol. AND he's cute and sweet! duality of man! but i hate when all his nuance is scrubbed away and he's basically declawed for the sake of sanitizing the game and/or making people feel like they don't like someone who's done lots of dubious shit.

beel's characterization. oh my god. let him have a personality outside of eating.

satan's characterization. idk when the game decided it was funny to have him only care about cats and being a dick to lucifer but i hate it. give my boy his academic snootiness back. where are his mysterious connections. his nuance. they've fuckin destroyed his nuance.

the lack of lore about the way the celestial realm works, the connections between the three realms, etc. there's so much neglected world building and i always do my best to muster up SOMETHING in the gaps.

i also usually just perceive twisted wonderland's canon and night raven college as an actual university level program instead of... whatever it's supposed to be. idk why some of the characters are so young or why the age spread is so wide or why it's called a "college" if only some of the characters are college age. that's the sort of main premise of my twst blog, basically just correcting that stuff bc it makes absolutely no sense to me and i think some of the plot points are more interesting that way (riddle's relationship w his mother, vil's fame, kalim and jamil's dynamic, etc etc).

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

for obey me, the way most of them are solomon-centric... fucking embarassing lol

i want to write the end of season 2 of og over and over forever. i think it's so incredibly interesting. the back and forth with solomon, the talk with lucifer, the impending doom, being saved by simeon who basically destroys his relationship with michael and Father in that moment... so juicy. i wish i could read and write about it forever

in my mind, my magus opus fic is this detailed fic of the night solomon and mc are implied to sleep together in og season 3... so many thoughts. it's needy and full of yearning. he's way too chipper the next day. belphie's line that implies he was geTTING OFF TO IT???? jesus. i wish i had the focus to lock in and write a detailed smut fic from several povs about this event

i eat up every single fic about lucifer and mc making a pact in og season 1 and would love to have my own interpretation one day

for twisted wonderland:

i would love to explore each overblot scene in obscene detail. specifically riddle, azul, and jamil

i want to write so many fics about chapter 6, specifcally with mc and pomefiore. i loved that book and the dynamics. i want to write a fic about vil's kisses. i want to write about hunting down rook with epel on the brooms. i want to write about the angst at the end with almost losing grim and a hypothetical where mc jumps in to grab him instead. god i forgot how much i love book six until literally right now lol

twst is better written imo (sorry) so i have less moments i want to build on but i'm sure there's more rattling around in my brain lol

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

You'll change your name and change your mind (but you can't leave this fucked up place behind)

(Prompt #18: REVENGE | Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes) )

Notes: Okay, this one was very fun to write to be honest. I asked to myself how I could manage to do "unreliable narrator" and boom, the answer was in front of me! It's Sanzu, I just needed to let him unleash and not try to guide him towards any type of plot or coherency and he'd do the rest on his own. AND HE DID! Same for loss of identity, so easy to lose himself for Mikey, he has no self-respect whatosever, it's fascinating (Such a good gremlin, fr)

So, keep in mind this is very unreliable and very biased and not even Sanzu knows wtf he feels or thinks. He changes his delulu to keep adapting to shit happening around him, don't expect any type of coherency towards himself.

Also: I love Draken, any opinion reflected here is not mine, it's all on the lil pink hater <3

(Settled in Bonten timeline but during Kanto Manji times, you'll see why at the end, hehehehehe)

Warnings: Delusions and very distorted perception of reality, tones of cursing bc Sanzu is a hater, angst. Manga spoilers.

Sanzu acted very smug for days after seeing how Draken looked at him — a puzzled expression with a hint of annoyance, the obvious question written on his idiotic face. Confusion didn’t help that loser to look less ugly, but for once, Sanzu was delighted to see him.

Things got even better when he actually got to hear him venting to Mitsuya — okay, he might have been spying on them, but no way in hell he wouldn’t keep an eye on those fuckers!

Revenge never tasted sweeter, Sanzu was finally back where he belonged. By Mikey’s side, as his right hand and best friend — as it should always have been. That bastard thought he was special to Mikey? Ha, Draken could have been entertaining somehow, but once the novelty was over, once that leech showed his true colors, his king got tired of that moral bullshit. 

Yeah, that was it. Those shitheads of Toman never understood his king’s true potential, they held him back like dead weight. Sanzu was the only one alive who truly knew Mikey, who saw him for who he was, not for who others wanted to make of him. No, Sanzu didn’t see him as a puppet or a means to achieve his goals. Or as someone so righteous that would magically conquer the top of delinquency without staining his hands with blood. 

Because for Sanzu, Mikey himself was the goal — being able to stand by his side, to protect him, to serve him devotedly. Unlike those goodies of Toman, he was very aware Mikey wasn’t a saint either, his king had a talent for violence that no one should limit. And who cared if it was wrong or illegal? They wanted to be criminals, for fucks sake! He was a killer too and he didn’t regret it, he would kill for Mikey again as many times as needed. Nothing came without a price, Sanzu learned that years ago. 

So, of course, he was more than happy now that those pests were finally out of Mikey’s life for good. Sanzu could have answered their questions if he had wanted to, but it was a lot funnier this way — he was Mikey’s first friend, he had always been there but they were too busy to notice him, and obviously Mikey tried to push him away too but, unlike them, Haruchiyo never left. 

That was the big mystery those retards couldn’t comprehend, the magical trick Sanzu performed to be able to remain by Mikey’s side when he tried to isolate himself from everyone. He simply stayed, no matter what, he refused to abandon him. It shouldn’t have been so hard to deduce it, the same way it was obvious that his king was trying to carry some kind of burden all alone. 

His perfect revenge was cut short with the new information that Draken had joined Brahman from the shadows — a secret his ass, as Sanzu wouldn’t know what was happening inside his little sister Senju’s gang. 

It was difficult to choose what angered him more, the fact that the bastard dared to join their gang — trying to erase him again, but this time amongst his own siblings — or how he betrayed Mikey so blatantly. First, he walked away so easily and now joined the enemy?

Apparently, abandoning Mikey once wasn’t enough for the paltry dragon. No, he had the nerve to do it twice. Sanzu knew how much that could hurt his king, so kept the information to himself and resisted the urge to punish the traitor — Mikey had given him a very clear order and no matter how much he hated it, he would obey him. 

Any trace of satisfaction his revenge had made him feel, got completely erased the last time Sanzu interacted with Draken — that day, not even the knowledge that fucker would disappear from their lives forever was enough to bring him even the slightest relief. Fucking daring to appear at Senju’s funeral with that contrite face, like he had ever cared about her? Sanzu couldn’t even grieve his sister in peace without being haunted by him?

“Get the fuck away from here.” Sanzu spat his words with rage, looking at him with red eyes filled with hatred. A part of him was eager, almost begging to have an excuse, to be able to make someone — anyone — pay, to vent his pain with violence. 

But no, Draken stayed silent, too ‘decent’ to actually take the bait in a place like this — that didn’t mean Sanzu couldn’t hurt him anyway. His next words were filled with venom, punctuating each syllable with hate.

“Isn’t that your signature move, anyway? Disappearing after someone else’s little sister died.” 

BOOOOOOM! (yes, this was so damn fun)

Remember when I said he was unreliable? Well, to clarify his biggest lies: He doesn't regret killing for Mikey? My ass considering we're talking about Mucho here -.- (maybe regret is not the word, but that nonchalant attitude is bullshit to delulu himself and we all know it). Also, as you dear reader might have notice, he has very conflicted feelings towards his not-sibling-but-yes-his-siblings-all-at- once.

[luna-rainbow]

Oh no I totally agree that it is undoubtedly fair, truly warranted, to criticize the way the attempt to rewrite his victim hood into him being at fault. I less so sent that ask towards you (bc I’ve followed you for a long time and know how you feel) and more so in a response to other anons. Truly, the erasure of Bucky being a victim sends me over the edge and the whole thunderbolts thing has me raging. That wasn’t really what I was trying to get at in my first ask. And I very very much agree that the whole ‘amends’ and Sam’s (ooc) line of basically tell him to man up and work harder, etc., was all rooted in toxic masculinity from the writers. I was more so trying to say that even though TFATWS did have some major issues, I don’t think Bucky was completely off from his prior characterization, unfortunately they did seem to teeter back and forth and be contradictory with his trauma. Especially considering some of the stuff the cast and crew have said in interviews that do lean towards Bucky being a victim. But when you look at a majority of his actual behaviors and personality, it’s pretty fitting unlike some people try to argue. While the whole going to Zemo thing was wildly unlike Bucky, I do think that him being shitty to Sam doesn’t really fall into the same category. I say that because some times, just real people, characters can be assholes and they have flaws, and you know in the end he knew he was in the wrong and partially didn’t understand Sam’s reasoning. So I do think that isn’t a mistake on the writers part but that’s just my personal opinion. In all, while I do think he wasn’t done justice or utilized properly, Bucky’s primary characterization wasn’t wrong. It was more so the way the storyline tried to depict him and how some of the other characters treated him.

Ah, thanks for coming back to provide more context 😅

To be honest, I credit Seb with 90% of Bucky’s characterisation in the movies and the show. Let’s face it, Bucky’s characterisation was pretty thin if we’re going off the scripts alone (including the movies). He was a plot device for Steve, not a fully written person. Seb was the one who made Bucky give the long weighty looks to Steve during the war, the child-like confusion during the conversation with Pierce, and those sad reflective half-smiles during CACW/IW/EG. He’s a small side character with an exceptional narrative importance, and a lesser actor would have just peeled off the lines and called it a day. Seb went hard into it - he researched vets and PTSD, he made headcanons for Bucky’s relationship with Steve and even his fighting style, for a character that had 15 lines in the movie with his name in the title and only 2 emotive scenes, he’s tried very hard to make it a believable, human emotional journey.

If you look purely at Bucky’s lines in TFATWS — particularly his to-and-fro with his therapist, Zemo and even some of the ones with Sam, under a different actor they could have been aggravating, petulant and caustic. Sebastian kept it consistent with Bucky’s journey up to now — he was weary, uneasy and always a little vulnerable under the gruffness. Sebastian is very good at doing vulnerable, and that alone saved Bucky from being a flat alpha male. Under a different directorial/writer team I would have said they did a good job with the consistency, but MCU directors since Russo’s are notorious for letting their actors take the reins with their characters especially for emotional beats. By and large, because they’ve been so lucky with their casting, that’s worked, but it’s going to fray at the seams eventually.

I think one of the reasons why people say Bucky was out of character (apart from some of the decisions) was that he had a period of healing in Wakanda, and when we saw him in IW he was smiling and friendly. When we meet Bucky in TFATWS he’s raw and nervous again, and something has made his recovery go backwards. The series then avoids the giant elephant in the room for both Sam and Bucky, which was how much hurt EG!Steve’s decision caused both of them…so while we can understand the context for Bucky’s anger, that context was never acknowledged to be true…and if we ignore that context, then there’s no reason his recovery should have gone backwards.

TFATWS was full of crappy contradictions like this.

[crepuscularqueens]

i! keep! coming! to! your! blog! to! ask! about! WIPs! and! keep! getting! distracted!!!!!!!!!! i cant figure out whats been asked about already perooo, do you wanna tell me about i'm so ugly, tropic morning new, & stwin tag *???? pls???

hiiiiiii <3 thank you of course i want to tell you about these lol

im so ugly was a semi existing way too old clintbucky WIP that went nowhere and i could not figure out what to do with it and then i watched the movie self reliance and thought. well. what if i turned that into a clintbucky AU using some of what i already have? bc i think the main character could very easily be clint. and here we are.

Bucky drags on the smoke, standing huddled from the rain under the awning of the building he lives in, scrolling idly on his phone through personal ads on Craigslist. He hasn't got a clue when he picked up this habit, maybe to feel more like a real person, like the faceless people of the internet desperately reaching out for some small connection will spark something in him. Not that any of them have ever given him cause to reply. Maybe it's only because they're good for a laugh, though. His eyes catch on a truly sideways attempt to roleplay an exciting dating experienced, and whoever this guy is he's insanely committed to the role he's chosen. The ad is written from the desperate point of view of a man being hunted for sport as part of a game he's playing, the chance to win a ton of money if he makes it through a week while unknown assailants are after him. Asking the anonymous people of the internet if someone could stay by his side for the remaining time to ensure he won't get killed. Having to admit he's reluctantly amused, Bucky replies. After all, might be a good thing to actually try to make a human connection here instead of endlessly scrolling through other people's problems without doing a thing about it. At least this promises to be some type of entertaining.

tropic morning news i did answer here but! i of course will give you another snippet :)

There was a long silence after Jack finished relaying the vision to Max, he was still pinching the bridge of his nose, though the headache that always appeared in the aftermath of prophecies had already long since settled in. Max was watching him in her careful way, brow slightly furrowed.  “And you understand what it was you saw to mean-” “That, essentially, we’re all fucked here?” Jack interrupted, “Yes, I believe that was the general idea. Max sighed and poured from the bottle she was still holding into the forgotten cup. “I was just told ‘zhat will not help’,” he snarked, even as he gratefully accepted the drink. “It is certainly not a long-term solution,” Max agreed, now pouring a cup for herself, “I fail to see what can be done immediately, so until we can piece together who you are having visions about and how we can best take care of it…” She trailed off, raising the cup to her mouth, her eyes lifting to the second landing and softening in the way they only ever did for Anne. Jack turned his head to see her exiting their room, shirt billowing where she hadn’t bothered to tuck it in.

twin tag is a whole 23 pages of notes i have comparing max and silver's journey through season one of black sails that i intend to continue and do for the rest of the show as well. because i truly needed to take the time and compare each and every action the both of them take in each and every episode and point at them and scream. idk. distorted reflections of each other. the same character in wildly different circumstances.

So, when Silver sees the page on the cook, puts together that it’s valuable and he might take advantage of that, he works independently to do so, haphazardly piecing his plan together as he goes to fall in with the Walrus crew. Max has to warm herself and work cooperatively with Silver, gaining his trust and proving her usefulness to be allowed into this plan. Neither method is lesser than the others, they are both borne of necessity required by their positions and grabbing an opportunity where you see it, when you see it. Where Silver standing over the dead body of the cook on the merchant ship is undoubtedly suspicious, that suspicion is put on hold for more pressing matters, after all there was just a bloody battle between the two ships and who can say what the truth really is? If Max were to have killed Silver for the page, she could not have claimed the same and likely would have been punished by her superiors as well as the Walrus crew for doing so, her survival would likely be put into question. They are both very aware of the consequences of both the actions they do take as well as the ones they avoid.

[staarry-skies]

gonna be insane abt usamamo for a second im so sorry esp to my moots who do not care about sailor moon my heart goes out to you

read more bc this is so much longer than was intended

i see a lot of the same "theyre only in love because of fate/their superhero alter egos/their past" takes A Lot (to be fair its usually directed at the 90s anime, to which i do agree n understand, however ive also seen it directed at the manga which is why im talking abt it) and i just Do Not Agree, so im gonna talk abt it in a twt thread bc im insane and twt is my outlet for my insanity. (this was originally written for twt but got too long oops.)

starting with the whole "theyre only dating because of past lives" because its the easiest to debunk, its just flat out not true. mamoru n usagi never really got the chance to officially get to together pre-past lives reveal in the manga but its pretty damn clear they were going to, probably the next time they met as civilians and swapped their different keepsakes that they have from each other.

theres also the whole "oh well their feelings are remnants of silmil" which i think takes away a lot of their agency as characters and also just isnt true and is also pretty easily disprovable, usagi likes mamoru for being there for her and supporting her when she needs it, and mamoru likes usagi for being this incredibly strong heroine but also being a normal cheery girl all at the same time.

which leads me to the next point! "they only like each other because of their alter egos", two rebuttals here, they dont exactly stop being tuxedo mask/sailor moon just because theyre out of costume that is still them but i do see why this is a popular criticism. my other thing is that its definitely not true for mamoru, whos usually the one criticized for not truly liking the Real Usagi™️ and only liking her for sailor moon (or serenity but we just went over that and funnily enough this criticism should be directed more to usagi but we'll get into that later).

for this lets go back to why mamoru loves usagi, according to earlier in this post i claimed it was because of the dichotomy between her and sailor moon, the crime fighting warrior, and usagi the happy-go-lucky school girl who always brings a smile to everyones face, thus showing that he loves /all/ of her not just one side over the other.

but me saying so isnt really enough so lets hear it from the boy in question: "its true... for a long time the crystal was the only thing i wanted... but now when i see her... angry one moment then laughing the next... the crystal? no thats not what i really want... usako youre what i want" - (crystal ep 7) so... yeah thats pretty cut and dry, oh yeah nows also a good time to mention that ill be pulling stuff from crystal too because of the nature of crystal having been more closely supervised by naoko and being a stricter manga adaptation, any scenes it adds are retroactively canon to the mangaverse (at least to me, but if youre looking for a similar line from the manga: "youre strong today sailor moon, everyday i feel like im seeing a different side to you, is there other versions of you ive yet to meet? i want to know everything, who are you really?" - (chapter 8) same idea as the crystal quote just a lot more vague lol)

also this is reflected in more than just words, its actions too, tuxedo mask is a lot more closed off towards sailor moon earlier on and its not until chapter 4 that he starts being a lot more openly caring and affectionate, and you wanna know what happens in chapter 4? he finds out sailor moon is usagi, and it doesnt take a lot of media literacy to put two and two together to figure out why that shift happens there.

now for usagi, remember when i said the whole "liking the alter-egos" criticism applies to her more but is never directed at her? well heres why, we never really see her civilian relationship with mamoru develop much on her end before the reveal, she is of course attracted to mamoru but on a way more superficial level (usagis pretty notorious for her immediate, but ultimately kinda surface level crushes on people: see rei).

she denies her crush but its pretty obvious she has one, for example when mako points out that usagis blushing after one of their interactions and asks about it and she insists pretty loudly that she "doesnt like him!" but never really explains the blush (earlier in the same scene when she sees mamoru she blushes and b-dmp! is written in the bg, keep in mind he hasnt done or said anything yet so its not embarrassment) and then theres chapter 3 where she recognizes that his profile sorta looks like tuxedo mask which she'd actively try to deny if she didnt like him like she says she does, so its pretty obvious she has a crush on mamoru.

but her relationship with tuxedo mask is what gets more development, she goes from that superficial crush she has on mamoru to liking him for deeper reasons than just: pretty guy! i.e. helping her, being there for her, and grounding her when she needs it. also in the same vein as her recognizing him in chapter 3 the reveal is her just recognizing him as tuxedo mask, which obviously she has to like mamoru quite a bit to do (even if the evidence was quite literally all around her) (in saying all of this i do think pgsm does a much better job at showing her genuinely falling for all of him but pgsm also skews more towards the 90s anime in terms of characterization so i wont be using that).

and finally "usamamo are only together/feel pressured to be together because of fate/chibiusa" short answer: no. long answer: noooooooooo. no but in all seriousness this flat out isnt true, if you'll remember the first 14 chapters of the manga are kinda. yk. dedicated to this. their fate isnt to "be together" their fate is to literally DIE if they dare attempt to be together again, they are together DESPITE fate, like i dont even know how else to put it because multiple characters comment on fate repeating itself when it comes to dooming usamamo, they werent reincarnated to be together they were reincarnated to be happy and live normal peaceful lives.

as for fate as in the future, thats pretty easily disprovable because its ALSO something the manga goes over, during the dream arc when mamorus suffering from nehelennias curse he starts feeling guilty and selfish for constantly being a burden on usagi to the point he asks her if she really does want a future with him, even saying that he feels horrible for potentially tying her down to a future she might not want, which yk would kinda not be a concern he would have if he was only with her for the creation of crystal tokyo (side note: nowhere does it say usamamo NEED to be together for crystal tokyo to exist, usagi could very well rule alone like queen serenity or with any other partner, its just that the current timeline has them together in ct) as for usagis response, mamoru falls asleep before he can hear it, but she says point blank that she can change the future if she wants. So. Yeah. dont really think i need to say much more than that on that front.

And the last part of the "fate saga", "theyre only together to have chibiusa" which is such a crazy and lowkey highkey misogynistic sentiment, but for arguments sake lets take a look at why its completely wrong, first off, again. "i can change the future as much as i want" - (chapter 40) she could have chibiusa by other means (for example the way queen serenity had serenity) but also, the reason they care so much about chibiusa is because she's a product of their love, they obviouly care about her as a person but they wouldnt just force themselves to be together just to have her and her alone (if that makes sense i have no idea how to phrase what im trying to say) in any case its a really gross thing to say because it insinuates a lot of really weird things!

if you made it through all that you deserve like a medal or something but thanks for listening to my silly little thoughts about my favorite couple right now

[all-or-nothing-baby]

i've said similar before (as have countless others on here before me) but i'm taking a moment to say this again:

IT'S OKAY TO LIKE MEAN/BAD/HORRIBLE AND EVEN JUST DOWNRIGHT PURE EVIL CHARACTERS

and i think it's wildly stating the obvious to say the following but apparently there are still some folks who need to hear it:

CHARACTERS AND THE STORIES THAT THEY'RE FROM ARE NOT REAL; THEY ARE ALL MADE UP BECAUSE STORIES ARE MAKE-BELIEVE AND CRAFTED FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT

irl, i seriously dislike mean people. i despise bullies. i can't think of anything worse than a person who does 'evil' deeds to others and enjoys it. granted, i can at times end up feeling sorry for some of these arseholes bc a lot of the time there are genuine reasons for their poor behaviour; sadness/trauma/mental illness/etc. but that isn't me dismissing that behaviour, i'm just trying to have some understanding and empathy for their suffering because it's clear that it's effecting their humanity, y'know? it's often a sad reality, but does not mean i would excuse a person treating others badly.

STORIES ARE NOT REALITY

the characters from the books/tv show/movie/play/podcast etc that you like are not real. they are dreamt up to help us learn lessons from a young age, to make us laugh at their stupidity, to help us see that those who have found themselves on a dark path are mostly there because something terrible happened to them. these characters are brought to life for us in sometimes terrible forms—those truly dreadful villains—to help us work vicariously through emotions we all suffer with from time to time, the irrational feelings we can have of revenge or world domination lol. there is anger that we, as a race, all have to deal with, intrusive thoughts that we all sometimes struggle with. when we feel ourselves wanting the badguys in the movies to win, it can help us to manage these kinds of real life feelings we suffer, and it might mean we can learn how to deal better.

it's like wanting to punch someone. i would personally never actually want to do that—but occasionally as humans we might feel like we want to.

DOING THINGS LIKE USING A PUNCHBAG OR AGGRESSIVELY CHOPPING WOOD CAN BE THE SAME KIND OF REPLACEMENT ACTIVITY AS ENJOYING A MORALLY BAD CHARACTER. IT IS TAKING A FEELING AND RELEASING IT SAFELY WITHOUT DOING ANYBODY ANY ACTUAL HARM

also, none of us are perfect creatures! none of us. liking a bad or morally grey character can sometimes be because you might see some of their toxic traits in yourself, and feel better about the fact that even though you have faults, at least you're not as bad as they are. or maybe you know somebody like the character, someone who—even though their actions are wrong and you don't agree with them—has had a terrible life and you have some understanding of why they behave in the way they do. maybe the character helps you understand that person more and have more empathy for them and others like them?

AND SOMETIMES BAD GUYS ARE JUST GOOD FUN

baddies get to do the things we sometimes wish we could! who doesn't occasionally wish they could do a michael douglas d-fens in falling down?! or have the whole world kneel at their feet as loki does?! or be so be clever and cunning you can get away with any criminal plan you damn well choose like james moriarty?!

even the 'pure evil' characters in media are written so that we love to hate them, otherwise we wouldn't care about what happens to them, and caring about the story and it's characters is the whole point. and even if you just wholeheartedly love them—like you completely adore those vile bastards, regardless of all their evil deeds—that's okay! they're not real. just because you enjoy a character like hannibal lecter doesn't necessarily mean you want to murder and eat people, you just like a character who does terrible things because they have been written to be liked.

IT IS ENTIRELY NORMAL TO BE ENVIOUS OF AND/OR SIMPLY ENJOY A VILLAIN, BECAUSE THERE ARE SHADOWS AND REFLECTIONS OF OURSELVES, ALL OF US, HOWEVER BIG OR SMALL, IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM

so, the paramount thing to remember is:

VILLAINS AND BADDIES AND MEANIES IN MEDIA ARE! NOT! REAL! THEY ARE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY FINE TO ENJOY THEM BECAUSE THAT IS THE VERY THING THEY WERE CREATED FOR

anyway, thank you for coming to my ted — *gets shot by the bad guy*

[roobylavender]

omg i always find the discussion on kishimoto and shounen writers re: writing romance and female characters really interesting bc it's so true that wider fandom refuses to engage with heroines even at the level of male characters who have the same amount of screentime/development, even more so if they occupy any sort of love interest role because they're "in the way" of m/m pairings - but i also wonder how much of this discussion has turned into "if you don't ship this (shoddily-written) heterosexual pairing you are doing a disservice to X female character" with the poor excuse that shounen series supposedly """don't focus""" on romance anyway (if that's truly the case, why does the author bother introducing it as a last-minute element by suddenly marrying off half the cast?) like if romance is going to be a genre introduced to the manga (and if any and every interaction between the two characters who end up as married in the final chapter is to be taken as romantic, then romance is indeed going to be counted as one of the story's genres), surely it needs to be taken seriously and held to the same standard as the action and fantasy world-building genres of a manga...

also not to out myself as a grandma but personally this new idea i sometimes see on reddit or twitter that "shounen authors aren't 'allowed'(?) to develop their romances properly or focus on romantic subplots" honestly disgusts me as a certified 80s manga enjoyer lmao because it's such an insult to decades of prior shounen manga that did in fact take the time to write romance well and thus didn't end up with canon pairings anywhere near as controversial as, say, the ones in nardo or bleach... like it just goes to show how little people know about the genre to be making super broad and baseless statements like that. it's got the same energy as when people read 2010s DC comics and think they've gotten the best the genre has to offer even though 1) they haven't even skimmed the surface of the material 2) modern stories are written terribly compared to their predecessors

LIKE people cite that ursula k le guin quote about H/P to talk about how it's like incredibly derivative, practically factory-generated fantasy but imo it doesn't quite hold true because H/P isn't fundamentally a fantasy story but rather a boarding school one with fantastical elements - but that quote does absolutely hold true for naruto and its role within the shounen genre because every element of it is ripped off from its betters (i.e. slam dunk, HxH, etc) yet people praised it as if it was completely original and the pinnacle of shounen... and yet despite it all, broader fan consensus still found the female characters and their romances in both the series examples i listed (that kishi clearly plagiarized from) more agreeable than the canon ones in naruto 🙈

somewhat tangential to this but i feel like what makes this phenomenon (as in the one you talk about in the last paragraph) prevalent within mainstream shounen manga specifically is the way that manga publication works to begin with. like although magazines are generally reflective of genre categorizations they need not always be so (eg clamp which has published typically shoujo content in typically shounen magazines and vice versa) and usually your serialization in a magazine happens because you applied to it through a competition. and you applied through that competition for that magazine because you were enamored with the mangaka already employed by the magazine. the wsj hierarchy is essentially a long form example of this in that many of its mangaka were either fanboys of their predecessors on the magazine and thus decided to apply to it or they were lucky enough to work as assistants to those mangaka and then spring off into their own work once they had found the footing to do so. the derivative nature of the various series in the magazine is practically manufactured! and it's a wonky sort of survival of the fittest scheme in that the successor mangakas get to pick and choose what elements that were key to their admiration they incorporate into their own work. that's how i think you get to works like naruto and bleach. i don't think it's outright plagiarism but more.. fanboy antics distilled into fanfiction that subsequently goes through an editorial process to prepare it for original publication. the twilight turned masters of the universe turned fifty shades of grey phenomenon if you will. how you fare after that then depends on your own additional input. i feel like although kishi definitely modeled some character and relationship dynamics on those of his predecessors what attracted people to his story was his world (which is ironic because it's more than arguable that his world is underdeveloped in various places) and how that world contextualized those already familiar dynamics. that's why even though the naruto-sasuke rivalry was admittedly modeled off of the yusuke-hiei one there was still a significant difference in overarching function between the two relative to their place within each series

as for the commentary on romance specifically i definitely agree with you that there's no excuse for romance writing to be taken less seriously merely because something is published in a shounen magazine lol. and frankly with respect to naruto specifically i always find this excuse to be very confusing because at least with sasusaku the writing is very intentional.. a lot of people seem to skirt over their development with respect to each other because it's convenient to ignore and that always frustrates me because kishi is more than due his fair share of criticism for any number of things but it's silly to criticize him for the absence of something when there is precisely.. no absence. i think a lot of people mistake subtlety for absence if anything. the moments when sasuke deliberates on his weakness and inability to save sakura and how that should render him worthless in her eyes are largely unimportant to naruto's readership so they either act like they never happen or they conveniently isolate sasuke's explosive reactions to that worthlessness without allowing other people to view the context that birthed them. that scene in part one where he shoves the apples away from her is one i see spread sooo often but no one ever includes the thoughts running through sasuke's head right before it happens

i do think kishi can generally be criticized for not making romance more of a focal point of his narrative because love in all of its forms is so important to that narrative and sasusaku's example in particular is quite revolutionary with respect to the world the characters occupy (as is naruhina's i would say). but i also feel like it's premature of people to say that they lack development. they only really lack development with respect to that final chapter which most people acknowledge is a corny fast-forward future written for the sake of wrapping things up in a bow. where they end up by the end of chapter 699 is pretty well predicated by the extent of their journey and people only really dislike it because where they're willing to look beyond the violence between naruto and sasuke they're not willing to do the same for sakura and sasuke. admittedly i'm biased but i do think it's one of those rare situations where people are doing a disservice to sakura if they don't even try to read into the intents behind her relationship with sasuke. i don't think people have to like it by any means but i wish there was more good faith engagement with it because there is certainly plenty to criticize about kishi but i don't think most people actually even get at what's worth criticizing because they're too busy making up excuses for him even though those excuses are supposedly supposed to be criticism loljfkldsjgdf

[zepskies]

Awww thank you so much for rereading this one!! It's probably the longest Sam fic I've written. 💜💜

Thank you for saying it's well balanced! I think there's a place for angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, and sexiness that can make an established relationship feel really lived in, but still dynamic.

supernatural shenanigans aside lol, there’s also something so wonderfully human about this plot. like yes it’s so easy to get wrapped up in life bc it moves fast, but to take the time to really pause, reflect, breathe for a moment and mend any wrongs (if need be) is just, so lovely. 💕 and needed sometimes!

Honestly that's what I love about SPN! Despite the "wrapper" of horror and mythology and crazy stuff, at its core it's about the relationships and those relatable human moments. So this story is definitely about taking the time not just to take care of yourself, but truly take care of each other. 💕💕

side note, I also love how you write sam & dean interacting with each others partner because they’re always so sweet to them and they show that they genuinely care. like he went to get her soup and tissuessss 🥺

Aww I love that so much, thank you!! 🥹🥹 I love writing the sister-in-law/sister vibes between Sam or Dean and their bro's partner/GF/wife. Dean in particular shows his love and care through his actions, so I thought him making a soup and supply run for her would just make sense. 🍵💓💓💓

Thank you so much again for rereading, and for letting me know what you thought of The Comforts of Home!

The Comforts of Home

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F. Reader

Summary: Sam forgets to take care of himself at times. You do your best to remind him, and be there when he needs you to lean on. But Sam Winchester’s getting a bit too heavy, and you’re starting to feel a little under-appreciated around here.    

Word Count: 5,500 Warnings: 18+ only. Mild smut, fluff, and rock & roll.

Sam Winchester was an incredibly self-sufficient man, most of the time.

Before you started dating, it was one of the things you admired most about him. The confidence with which he handled himself. The way he cared for and protected the people around him, including you.

But now that you lived in the Men of Letters bunker with the Winchester brothers, sometimes you felt more like a suburban soccer mom than a hunter. Here you were, picking up a mess of napkins, paper plates, and empty beer bottles (once again) from the table in the war room.

Is it too much to ask for these guys to pick up after themselves? you inwardly groused.

In fairness, you had all been up late last night, scouring the books hard for a way to kill Abaddon. Having her cut up into demon chunks in their basement just didn’t sit well with you, or anyone else for that matter.

And that long night had followed an even longer day for Sam and Dean, who had just driven sixteen hours from a hunt.

You sighed as the garbage went into the trash. The coffee was also done percolating, so you grabbed yourself a cup and set out two more mugs on the counter for the boys.

You were an organized person, so you always set up the sugar next to the coffee maker with a spoon on each mug to stir the creamer. A small thing, but you thought it looked nice to start the morning.

There were also various-sized jars for crackers and cookies—all of which you stocked according to Dean’s favorites. But of course, you always stocked one specifically with pretzels or Chex Mix for Sam. You even found a spice rack at a Goodwill, along with a few other things to make the rest of the place more lively and comfortable.

You just thought little touches like these made the bunker look and feel more like a home than…well, a bunker.

The guys didn’t seem to mind.  

You took a few more sips of your coffee before you started on breakfast. Unlike Sam, you couldn’t dive into another day of research until you had something to fuel yourself. So you settled on making some eggs and toast for the three of you. You had a feeling they would wake up soon, as they usually stumbled in around this time.

By the time Sam came downstairs to the kitchen, he was bleary-eyed and adorably frizzy haired. He was obviously still half-asleep, but he smiled when he saw you.

“You’re up early,” he noted, resting a hand at the small of your back. You felt his warmth as he towered behind you—his solid presence and familiar frame pressed against your back. It never failed to make you feel safe.

He laid a kiss on the top of your head and grabbed his favorite mug that you’d set out for him. It was a plain black and white mug that read: “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

An inside joke between you from his time under Zachariah’s spell, or on the “Geek Squad,” as Dean liked to remind him.

“I didn’t even feel you get up,” Sam mused. He yawned and poured himself coffee all the way to the brim.

You nodded, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. “Yeah, you were out cold.”

He rubbed a hand over his tired face.

“You okay?” you asked. He smiled again at your concern.

“I’m fine, just need some coffee.” He finally took notice of the breakfast you were making and eyed it, then you, appreciatively. “Thanks, baby. That looks great.”

“Who said it’s for you?” you teased. His smile kicked into a smirk. Noting the dozen or so eggs you cracked still piled up on the counter, he raised a brow.

“So what, you’re body building now?”

“A carton a day, according to my new fitness regime,” you quipped. Though you transferred a portion of the eggs onto a plate for him anyway. “Can you get the butter for the toast?”

“Am I allowed to eat said toast?”

“Maybe,” you hedge. When he turned around with the butter, you took it from him with a smirk. “If you’re a good boy.”

Amused, Sam played into your little game, sliding his arm around your waist and slowly pulling you flush against him. His free hand tilted your chin up to him.

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “What do I have to do, pretty girl?”

You hummed, pretending to think. Then the toaster popped behind you, lighting up your idea.

You smirked and slid your hands up from his arms, to twine behind his neck.

“Butter my toast, Winchester.”

He raised a brow, a certain smile curving his lips. “Is that all?”

“I don’t know, you may find it more challenging than you think.”

“Depends,” he said wryly. His hands molded to the curve of your waist. “Are we still talking about toast?”

You sighed dramatically, tugging on a strand of his bedhead hair. “Keep up, would you?”  

Sam nodded. “Ah, my mistake.”

He dipped down and finally kissed you. A deep, heady kiss that warmed you all the way to your toes. You sighed in content, slipping your fingers into his hair.

“Hey, hey, outta the way,” Dean said, waving at them like he was herding off a flock of pigeons. “You’re obstructing the food.”   

He was dressed in his morning robe, though the ties were precarious at best. You rolled your eyes and rested your head on Sam’s chest. While Sam shot his brother an exasperated look over your head.

“How about a thank you? She made it for us.”

Dean inhaled a couple of forkfuls of eggs and winked at you. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

You were used to the nickname by now (and Dean’s antics), but you hid a smile at the way it still kind of annoyed Sam.

Ah, well. You pat his chest and went to serve him a new plate, since Dean took Sam’s. First breakfast, then time to hit the books.

You were a seasoned hunter, but you were at a point in your life where you didn’t ride off with Sam and Dean as much as you used to. There were times when you really needed a break, and you enjoyed the research side of things.

Especially with Bobby gone now, you had sort of taken it upon yourself to help organize the other hunters, manage the phones (FBI, CIA, etc.), and do the heavy research that Sam and Dean didn’t always have time for when they were in the thick of it.

After the brothers inherited the bunker, you got them to help you move the old hunter’s collection of books and artifacts here with them. It kept a large part of Bobby alive with them (figuratively) in their home.

You had taken over the library as your office, essentially, and had things running like clockwork now. When other hunters called for help, you did your best to get back to them with an answer.

Sam liked that—the studious side of you. You two had that in common, of course. But without him realizing at first, he had come to rely on you more and more for answers to the supernatural mysteries they encountered.

You had also come to be a rare constant in his life other than his brother, and he relied on you. That was no small feat, and you knew that.

That’s why the next time he and Dean came home from a hunt, a three week long hunt, you had cleaned the entire bunker. And you let them know via text that dinner would be waiting.

And it was cooling in the oven by the time they walked through the door.

You weren’t Martha Stewart or anything, but you liked to cook and…okay, you did not like to clean. But when they were gone this long, you wanted your guys to feel welcome.

“Smells like a damn Bath & Body Works in here,” Dean muttered. He deposited the duffel bag he was shouldering onto the living room couch and dropped onto it himself, letting out a long sigh.  

“That’s the smell of clean, you ass,” you sassed. (Though you might’ve been burning an appletini-scented candle as well.)

It could never be mentioned enough that you were used to Dean being Dean, but you couldn’t help feeling a little deflated. He didn’t even notice that the couch was free of the many candy wrappers he’d left behind. Not to mention the ones he conveniently stashed between the couch cushions, instead of getting his ass up and throwing them away.  

You perked up though when Sam greeted you with a kiss.

“Have I missed you,” he said wryly. His thumb brushed your cheek and you smiled up at him, curling your fingers into his jacket.

“Missed you too, baby.” You leaned up on your toes to kiss him again. You had really missed him. Three weeks? Way too fucking long.

But he soon moved past you to drop his duffel in the middle of the hallway, tracking some dust on the newly cleaned floor. You frowned, but as soon as you might’ve said something, Sam asked you a question on his way to the kitchen.

“How was everything here?”

“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “Garth is driving me crazy though. How the fuck he’s lived past age thirty is a mystery to me.”

You followed him into the kitchen, where he predictably retrieved a beer from the fridge. But he didn’t find the can opener where he usually did, still in the sink.

“It’s in that drawer,” you supplied, pointing to the right one. He found it where you told him (in its proper place) and was able to open his beer and drink a long, refreshing sip.  

“Smells good in here too,” Sam said, though his brows furrowed. Smiling, you were excited for them to see what was roasted to perfection in the oven.

“Yeah, dinner’s ready.” You opened the oven for him to see: a whole chicken with vegetables, potatoes, the whole nine yards.  

“That looks amazing,” he said. But his lips pulled down in a frown and he looked almost upset.

You had a bad, suspicious feeling. “What’s wrong?”

Sam scratched at the back of his head in nervous habit. “I just wish you would’ve let us know…we actually ate something on the road.”

You tried your best to put a lid on your reaction (disappointment, annoyance, confusion). “But… you didn’t get my text?”

Sam’s frown deepened. He checked his phone, and sure enough there was a missed text from you.

Hope you guys are hungry! I broke out the special pans for dinner tonight.

Well, now he felt like shit. He grabbed your hand and tugged you into his arms.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Let me ask Dean if he’s still hungry.”

“No, no. I’m sure it’ll be just as good tomorrow.”

Needless to say, you didn’t break out any lingerie that night. But when you got into your side of the bed next to Sam, you felt his side shift. His hand brushed your shoulder and his lips pressed softly against your neck from behind. His long hair tickled your ear, and you had to smile a little. But you tried to ignore him.

Eventually his lips paused.

“You still mad?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you replied. But you weren’t really mad. It was an honest mistake…and you weren’t angling for praise. But you were just getting the feeling that your boyfriend (and his brother) sometimes didn’t realize how much work you did around here just to maintain the bunker. Let alone everything you did for the Job.

“What do I have to do to change that?” Sam asked, gaining some flirtatious depth in his tone. His hand was large enough to span your waist, and his touch felt sinfully good beneath the blankets, down your hip and thigh, his thumb sliding beneath your shorts and underwear.

You hummed as he continued kissing down your neck, and you were unable to curb a smile.

“I don’t know. I sat outside the oven every fifteen minutes to make sure I didn’t burn that chicken. I don’t roast a whole bird for just anyone, you know.”

Sam brushed your hair back so he could kiss your cheek. You felt the shape of his smile there.

“What if I’m really, really good?” he said. The hand on your hip moved across your belly, then slid down into your underwear without taking them off. His long fingers reached down between your legs and traced the seam of your pussy lips teasingly.

You breathed in, anticipation and his touch already setting tingles across your warm skin. “I could be persuaded.”

That was all he needed to hear. His nimble fingers dipped inside and touched and teased in all the ways he knew you liked. He had you mewling for him before he even truly dove into you, gathering the wetness pooling there and rubbing over your clit until you sang for him.

His lips found the juncture between your neck and shoulder and bit down, just hard enough for you to gasp in pleasure. You reached back and grabbed his hair at the back of his head and held him there while his hand continued to work you over. Eventually he pulled a second release from you, and you shuddered, arching and writhing against him.

He stroked you more slowly while you came down, but he didn’t stop altogether. Until you turned around in his arms and grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

“Damn it, you are good,” you said, though you were still fighting for breath. Sam smirked and moved to capture you beneath his body.

“We’re not done yet,” he promised, bending down to claim you in a devouring kiss.  

And he certainly wasn’t lying about that.

“You’re leaving again?” you asked in disbelief.

It had only been one day! They had just been gone for three weeks.

Sam gave you an apologetic look, but he still took up his bag to follow Dean out.

“Cas finally got us a lead on Abaddon, we can’t pass this up,” Sam said.

“Hold the fort, okay?” Dean called to you on his way out. You gave him a lazy, mocking salute, which turned into a choice middle finger behind his back.

“I saw that,” he called over his shoulder. He’d caught sight of you in a nearby mirror.

You rolled your eyes. And you had half a mind not to let Sam kiss you goodbye. But you never did that, no matter how annoyed or mad you might’ve been. With the lives you all led, you promised each other that you’d never waste a chance to say goodbye.

So you begrudgingly let him kiss you, but you both knew that you weren’t happy about it. Sam apologized with his eyes, and the way he stroked your cheek.

But then the two were gone and you were alone again.

Until the phone rang—the FBI phone. You sighed and got to work.

That evening you got a call from Dean while you had a CIA agent and a hunter on hold. The hunter wanted to know the best way to kill a wendigo without any fire or open flame on hand. You were going to have to tell the guy that he better sashay his way to a match or lighter quickly, or else he was gonna get his ass ate.

“What’s up, Dean?” you said, a bit distracted. “Make it quick. I’ve got a hunter about to become a casserole on Line 2.”

“Hey,” his gruff voice sounded on the other line. “I need you to look something up.”

“I know. What is it?”

“We’ve got something that feeds like a werewolf, got teeth like a werewolf, but it’s way too fucking spry to be a werewolf. And it don’t go down with a silver bullet.”

“All right, let me check. I’ll get back to you.”

“Make it quick. We’ve got three dead and more coming if we can’t catch this thing.”

Of course, you had to be quick. What did he think, you were just sitting here on your ass sipping lemonade?

Well, you were technically sitting on your ass, but you were working too, damn it.

You hung up on him and got the other hunter back on the phone.

“Listen, Garth, rub some twigs together and catch a spark before nightfall, or you’re gonna be what’s for dinner. Got it?”

After you hung up with Garth, you answered the CIA call and apologized for the wait. But you introduced yourself as Agent Dougherty and strong-armed the police chief on the other line into giving the hunter access to the police reports they needed.

Then you put on some Def Leppard music on your iPod (classic rock was one love you and Dean shared in excess, after all). And you spent the next six hours researching non-stop: from your double-monitor setup at your desk, to the shelves upon shelves of books on werewolf lore.

By nine that night, you were starving, realizing you’d blown past lunch and dinner. But when you picked up the book translated from its original Japanese, you had the answer you needed.

You called Dean, but it was Sam that picked up.

“You got it yet?” Sam said.

Hello to you too, you thought in annoyance.  

“Yes, I got it. It’s an okami,” you said. “You need a dagger blessed by a Shinto priest.”

Apparently you were on speaker, because it was Dean’s voice you heard.

“How the actual fuck are we supposed to find a Shinto priest?”

“I think I’ve got the right dagger here. I found it a few minutes ago in Bobby’s old things,” you said, pulling your bag over your shoulder, along with your car keys. “I’ll be over there in three hours.”

“Make it two!” Dean shouted. You could hear chopping and slicing on the other line.

“As soon as you can,” Sam added.

“As soon as I can,” you confirmed, and with a sigh, you ended the call.

You made it to them in a little over an hour, speed limits be damned, and stabbed the monster yourself.

All seven times.   

Sam and Dean didn’t come home with you after that hunt. Oh, they were supposed to. But they found yet another case on the way home, so they told you to continue home without them.

That ended up being a nest of vampires, and when the brothers eventually got home, you knew something was wrong. Sam was walking stiffly. Dean was watching him on their way in with a telltale Winchester frown—the look that told you Sam was walking wounded and trying to hide it.

You didn’t press him about it until you two were alone in your shared room, and Sam was about to disappear into the bathroom for a shower. He usually left the door open in case you wanted to come in and chat about the hunt while he showered. But this time he closed the door.

You were suspicious by the lack of sounds you heard (meaning he was trying to hide whatever it was that had his arm stuck to his side like a chicken wing). So you went by the door and knocked.

“Sam, before you shower can I grab my hairbrush?” you asked.

“I’m about to get in,” he said. That had never stopped you before.

“I’ll be quick,” you promised. But you reached into your bedside drawer and took out something you always had handy for times such as these.

When he finally opened the door, still fully clothed (as you suspected), you held up your first aid kit.

“All right, Winchester. Let’s do this,” you said. Sam sighed and let you into the bathroom, but his frown said it all.

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Sit down, please.”

He obliged you by sitting on the closed toilet seat. His long legs spanned on either side of you while you set down the first aid kit on the bathroom counter and helped him take off his jacket. He tried not to make any sounds, but his small grunts and hisses here and there were enough to tell you it wasn’t a “nothing” injury. The bloodstains on his shirt spoke to the contrary.

You unbuttoned it and found the problem. He’d stitched his own stab wound, just under his ribs. But already a few stitches had come loose.

“What’s wrong with your arm?” you asked. He had his arm tucked like he’d hurt his shoulder. Sure enough, he admitted that he’d dislocated it when a vampire shoved him hard into the Impala, denting the driver’s side.

“I’m sure Dean loved that,” you said, smirking to hide your concern. You knew it wouldn’t really hide anything from Sam, but you knew he hated to worry you.

Sam scoffed. “Yeah. He’s probably getting the dent puller out as we speak.”

“Well, for now let’s work on you,” you said. With a gentle hand, you redid his stitches and cleaned his wound, then brought a bag of ice to put on his shoulder.

“This didn’t happen today. The blood was dry, caked into your skin,” you said. Sam’s gaze fell away from yours after a moment.

“Yesterday,” he admitted. You sighed through your nose.

“Sam.”

“We had to take out the nest. There wasn’t time—”

“You gotta make time, baby,” you said. Soft, but with no room for rebuttal. You cupped his cheek with your hand, brushing your fingers against the unshaven stubble there. “I’m more than willing to do this here, but if you really don’t want me to worry, then you need to take better care of yourself.”

You almost added that he and Dean should take more time off between hunts. That you all should go on a little vacation once in a while. That you and Sam needed to go on a freakin’ date outside of this damn bunker.

But you didn’t say all that. You just kissed him and accepted his apologies, and helped him get into the shower without getting too much water on his wounds.    

A couple of weeks later, you woke up with the mother of all headaches.  

You turned on the bedside lamp, and that just made you flinch against the offending light.

“Oh fuck,” you groaned. You had a migraine. Probably too much time spent at your computer, not enough eating and sleeping at regular intervals while the guys were on the hunt again.

And your throat was scratchy as well. That didn’t go away, even after you brushed your teeth and went down to the kitchen to get some coffee into you. You coughed. Once, twice, enough that you thought you might hack out a lung.

Fucking hell, you thought. You couldn’t be getting sick. Not now.

You had so many calls to make. So much headway you had planned to get through on finding the First Blade—apparently the only thing that could kill Abaddon, a Knight of Hell.

And Sam and Dean were on a hunt again, meaning you were the only one left to hold the fort at the bunker.

With a sigh, you borrowed one of Dean’s robes over your fuzzy pajamas and got to work. Even though your eyes were bleary, and your head was pounding, you couldn’t afford to take a day off today. Everything was just too important.

Ugh, I’m such a hypocrite.

Whatever. You could rest when you were dead, you supposed.

So you got to work…for an hour or so.

You tried, you really did. You’d loaded yourself up with Dayquil and a side of crackers so you wouldn’t take the medicine on empty. But you only got through a couple of chapters in the book you were reading before your eyes just couldn’t take the lights anymore, and your exhausted brain just couldn’t handle the words on the page.

Your folded your arms on the desk and laid your head down, telling yourself five minutes. Your eyes drifted closed as Survivor’s “Rebel Son” played on your “Stay Awake” playlist.

But that rest was short-lived, just like your little internal speech about sleep being for the weak.

You were startled into consciousness by a phone ringing. Not FBI, CIA, or even Homeland Security. It was your cell, and it was Sam. You cleared your throat with a congested cough, wincing at the little knives doing their number on your esophagus. Your nose was running too.

Groaning at the wretched state of yourself, you grabbed a nearby napkin and dabbed your nose before you answered the phone.

“Hey, what have you been able to dig up on the First Blade?” Sam asked.

“Well, hello, sunshine. How are you this morning?” you asked. Heavy on the sarcasm.

“…Hey, sorry. Are you okay?”

“Nice of you to ask, but I’m fine,” you replied dully. You stuffed the napkin farther up your nose and let it hang there. “I don’t have much on the First Blade yet.”

“Nothing at all? I thought we were working on this round the clock.”

At that, your temper snapped a bit. “We? You mean me. I’m an army of one, Sam. I can’t just magically pull something out of my ass on ancient donkey blades that kill Knights of Hell.”

You heard Sam sigh. “Look, I know. I just thought you’d have something by now. Abaddon is holding the reigns in Hell, and whatever she’s cooking up isn’t going to be pretty. We’re cleaning up demon havoc left and right here.”

“You think I don’t get that?”

“I just think you need to remember that Dean and I are out here on the ground,” Sam said testily. “And it’s getting bloodier and bloodier every day.”

“Do you think I’m sitting here on my ass watching Judge Judy? I’m working too, Sam!” you said. Of course, you understood that people were dying. Sam and Dean were depending on you to help find the answers. That this was too important to drop the ball on, even for a moment. Or those people’s lives were on you.

Suddenly there was this ball of emotion getting stuck in your throat, along with something wild and frantic climbing into your chest. Like the feeling that you were falling without a safety net.

You felt hot tears welling up in your eyes, and you tried to quell it by taking a breath. It was shaky, even to your own ears.

“Every day, I give everything I can, Sam. First of all, you and Dean treat me like your resident encyclopedia, thesaurus, and almanac all in one. I’m your in-house maid, your nurse, your goddamn personal chef—with happy endings included!”

You knew you were raging, but even though it was making the pounding in your head worse, it felt good to finally get all this shit out.

Sam tried saying your name, but you cut him off.

“Look, I know people are dying,” you continued. “People are always dying. And I’m doing my fucking best—”

That’s when you dissolved into a series of rigorous coughs that shook your frame, and that triggered fresh tears in your eyes. You had to grip the desk and sit down to try and steady yourself.

“Sweetheart, are you sick?” Sam asked. You read the soft, contrite, worried tone of his voice.

It was enough for you to almost forget about your anger. Because what you really wanted right now was his arms wrapped around you so you could bury yourself in his strength and warmth. You wanted to take in his scent and hear his voice in your ear and know that everything was going to be okay.

“Yeah, I might be,” you said. And you sniffled, miserably.

After a long moment, Sam sighed. “All right. You need to take some medicine and go to bed.”

You shook your head. “I can’t, Sam. Obviously.”

“No. Forget…forget what I said. Get into bed right now. I’m going to check on you soon, and I’ll know if you’re still working. Please…do that for me.”

You wanted to be snarky that he was demanding anything of you. But with a request like that, you didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to argue anymore.

So you tacitly agreed and hung up. It took you a while to actually get yourself onto your feet, but you made it to the couch in the living room.

And once your head hit the decorative throw pillow, it was lights out.

You woke slowly to a dim, but not entirely dark room. You didn’t quite remember ending up in your bedroom, but you felt gentle fingers running through your hair. It felt so nice. You hummed, but even that sounded raspy.

Cracking your eyes open, you immediately shut your eyes against your bedside lamp. You heard a familiar curse, and the lamp was shut off. Whoever it was turned the bathroom light on instead. It was brighter, but it was farther away, so it lit up the room without beaming directly into your eye sockets.

You chanced opening your eyes again and found it easier. Sam came to sit at your side, on the edge of the bed, with a couple of pills and a glass of water. He smelled like a fresh shower.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said. “How’re you feeling?”

“Okay,” you croaked. You tried to sit up and he had to help you. You took the medicine he offered but struggled to keep it down with the water. You hadn’t eaten anything except a couple of measly crackers all day, but you had no appetite regardless.

Sam held your hand until the nausea passed, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. He held his free hand to your forehead.

“No fever at least,” he said.

“Yay,” you twirled a finger, and tried and failed to suppress a cough.

Sam frowned. His eyes were filled with guilt, and he held your hand with both of his.

“I’m sorry. I know Dean and I’ve been pushing you lately. I never meant to make you feel like…like you’re not good enough. When all you do is pull our asses out of one fire and the next. And it kills me, that on top of all that, I haven’t been here for you when you needed me,” he said, and pressed your hand to his lips. Then he sighed. “With everything you do for us…I honestly don’t know how we’d do this without you.”

You wanted to insert a witty rejoinder, mostly to diffuse how uncomfortable you were with being praised. But you were emotional, and this was a tipping point. You felt hot tears slipping down your cheeks.

“But I love you,” Sam said. “So much. Above everything else, I want you to remember that.”

When you inevitably dissolved into crying pitiful tears, Sam went around to his side of the bed and sat up against the headboard. He wrapped his arms around you and tucked you against him, where you cried yourself out on his chest and let yourself be completely enveloped by his embrace. It was exactly what you craved and needed.

“If I wasn’t sick, I’d kiss you silly,” you said with a sniff. “Though at this rate, you’re probably going to get sick anyway.”

You started to pull away from him, but he held you close.

“Just rest,” he said, and brushed stray strands of hair away from your face. He kissed the top of your head and soothed up and down your back, encouraging you to sleep again.

“Dean is getting you some chicken noodle soup and actual tissues, so you don’t have to use napkins,” he added. You smiled. Dean was rough and gruff and all those things, but he was just like his brother. Soft in the middle.

“When I’m better, you and I are going on a date, sir,” you said, punctuating with a finger tapping his firm chest.  

Sam smiled in amusement. “Where do you wanna go?”

“That will be your responsibility as the boyfriend,” you informed him. “I wouldn’t be opposed to a weekend getaway, either.”  

He nodded. “Very much noted. Now do me a favor and sleep.”

“I’m not tired anymore,” you said. But it was a losing battle. Your body did, in fact, need more rest. You settled against Sam’s chest and let the feeling of his beating heart under your hand anchor you to where you felt safe. You smiled when he kissed your forehead.

“Love you,” you murmured.

Sam watched you fall asleep with a soft smile of his own. His guilt remained, but he had to remind himself of what was important.

He never thought it would happen to him again in his life, as long as he was a hunter, but he had happiness with you that was hard-won.

Dean was his home, and so now were you.

And that, he would always protect.

AN: So here's a nice long one for Sam! Let me know what you think. 😉

Sam Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

[boyfhee]

OKAY IM BACK 🤩🤩 ( after some self reflection on my attachment to take two ) NGL I DIDNT EXPECT YOU TO GIVE ME A SHOUTOUT OR EVEN FOR ME TO HELP PLAY A PART ( even if its a teeny tiny bit ) IN THE ENDING ??? you can literally imagine my surprise when i opened the app after a goodnight sleep to see a new update and mentions of me in the a/n 😭😭 the ending was so fhdjsnjsnsks BITTERSWEET. it was so nice to know that they all found comfort in each other ultimately ( despite it not turning into something romantic wise at that moment ) and being such good friends ?? it really shows their growth as characters which behaved selfishly to ones that were willing to accept each others shortcomings whole heartedly ( at least imo ) . although yn doesnt have an endgame (cries cos my imaginations were running wild at the slightly open but not so open ending if you get what i mean ) , it feels very realistic that wonki hasnt moved on yet — especially since this happens a lot irl ( i never experienced it before but ive seen my friends go through it ! ). i think it was a very well written ending considering how you couldnt make everyones wishes come through ( talking about the readers choice of endgame ) but yet still delivered one of satisfactory level. it was such a wild ride watching ynki make every mistake we as humans could make. miya was truly a test - she was testing my patience half the time 💀💀💀. but miya also serves as a reminder to everyone of how easily it is to unknowingly cheat on your partner without having to lay a single hand or even touch the person. emotional cheating is JUST AS BAD AS PHYSICALLY CHEATING IF NOT WORST ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i kinda feel bad (?) for wonki though because even though they were given closure and time to heal, it always felt more like a right person wrong time kind of thing so they will never be able to properly move on imo. IT MAKES ME EVEN SADDER THAT IT FEELS LIKE YN GETS THE HAPPY ENDING AND WONKI GOT A HAPPY ENDING TOO BUT IT COMES WITH A CHANCE THAT THEY MIGHT NEVER BE ABLE TO GET ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH YN EVER AGAIN. its really giving “ feels like we have matching wounds but mines still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine “ < the exit - conan gray >

okay i feel like i should stop here before i get carried away and keep repeating the same points but more aggressively with each sentence 🥶🥶 i was actually a pure literature student before i graduated from school and its been a while since i had graduated so it was really fun to be able to make analysis on characters again as well as figure out plots through diction 🤩🤩 i cant thank you enough for writing take two because it gave me a chance to put my literature to good use, it wouldve been a real shame if i studied so hard just for me to never use it ever again. thank you thank you thank you thank you.

please have a good rest and all the best for your studies ! i had national exams last year and it absolutely beat the crap out of my brain 😭😭 had me tearing at every math question and feeling hella defeated. its going to be tough but you can do it !! take as long as you need for your break ! you absolutely deserve it after dropping that bombass smau 😩😩😩😩 i will look forward to your return with full excitement ! take care ~

- 🎐 ( its been a pleasure being one of take twos biggest fans - self proclaimed )

WINDCHIME ANON HEHE HELLO 💗💗 no bc a shoutout was a must bc ur ask helped me pick the direction i wanted to go with the ending. and i was so scared bc ppl were hoping for a ynwon ending but i gave them kind of nothing i was like 'what if they dont like' BUT FUCK IT BC IN MY EYES YN DOESNT DESERVE A HAPPY ENDING JUST YET . tbh the whole point of the friends part was that they were willing to give their relationship another try despite the mistakes, call that character development. and miya was created solely to tell people how important communication is. none of this would've happened if riki told yn about miya, if yn told him ab meeting miya, if riki told yn ab his plan, the communication was gone on so many levels. the thing that ruined ynki, if you ask me, was the lack of communications. not miya, not jungwon, not media, not fans, but yn and riki themselves. SO CHIYUV NATION, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. ALWAYS. take it from me i love clearing things out and it always ends well unless u start phrasing things wrong ( dont do it )

AND ANON WE R GETTING A PART TWO WITH SEPARATE ENDINGS let ur imagination run wild again ☝️☝️ that conan gray lyrics r so ksdjfhhs fits so well fr. AND OMG HI FELLOW LIT. STUDENT i had science but also had eng on the side, spent my youth editing drafts and analysing proses and poetry it was fun . everyday i think about ur asks ab take two and it makes miso happy (sunghoon hi) bc they rlly made my day U ARE THE BIGGEST TAKE TWO FAN i will give u that medal 🥇