#bc she should be somewhere else
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angy-grrr · 9 months ago
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daily reminder: Ochako had to make herself physically see the damage the villains and war created in order to forget the uneasy feeling she got when Himiko smiled sadly (+ all the things she thought when she saw her). She cant forget what she has done (because she doesnt like the destruction), but that doesnt mean she cant forgive her or that made her feel distance from her.
Izuku can't forgive what Shigaraki has done, and as far as we know, he doesn't need to remind himself of the pain; his empathy doesn't make him feel weird about reaching out to a villain, at least on its own.
Its not a copy paste of the same battle or story.
Himiko and Izuku make Ochako wonder about the concept of heroism and saving, the roles heroes and villains have, and they also have an impact on her behavior, ideals, and feelings for them and herself. Shigaraki's fate and the world around Izuku seems to make him wonder about his role as a savior, because he doesnt feel like he fulfilled it really, when it ended up with someone else dying. He finds in Ochako someone who would agree on ideals about saving others, and thats great on its own.
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schemelin · 6 months ago
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every now and then i experience brief moments of self-awareness telling me to make major changes to the fusionsprunt story
#queue#maybe it has to do with this need of visualizing it as an actual tv show. it's not necessarily a bad thing#it's so much fun to question what would happen if a specific part was rewritten or twisted into smth else. how would it work and all#for example. i've been thinking. what if Hunter was an actual robot? how does his interaction with Exocannis and B2 change bcs of it? :0#i dont think that part will be rewritten but it's an interesting possibility#one thing i wanted to change is Gideon's lore though!#the way he disregards B2 doesn't sit right w me (and ig it didn't with everyone else who read the lore)#also! there's not much info about his childhood. it was nice until BOO TRAUMAAA.#overall i wanted to introduce him some other way. the way Gideon Rigell would do!#perhaps with a little comic? a loose dialogue in an artwork of sorts#comparing him to who he is currently is like going. wow! good job buddy ur getting better! but also you should probably seek therapy...#as for B2. i have some ideas.#some times i enjoy exploring new designs in which she looks VERY non-human or has some sort of non-human mentality#a true alien!#i wanna redesign her siblings and make all of them have an 'x' somewhere in their names#what if Beatrix had 4 siblings? what if she was the 'youngest'? what if they were all created by the same person#a person who was responsible for their creation but who also treated them like their own children#some kind of enthusiastic visionary with a passion for robotics who genuinely cared for machines. even 'mindless' ones#Also B2's relation to the Holloway Comet#like no. that's the. that's The Mother. that's the mother guys that's UNQUESTIONABLE#im talking about Monument Mythos vibes yknow. about giant n terrifying monuments/objects#i'm also cooking up ideas for comics focused solely on Bee#oneshots of sorts.... i should probably start sketching......#why am i having good ideas when i barely slept last night HSBWYSBWHDBHQHASSHHA#starbstalks
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softmeetscreatureplz · 3 months ago
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I HATE MKAING PLANS IM THIS STUPID FUCKING HOUSE IT ALWAYD ENDS EITH ME WANTING TO CRY. FUCKING DANB IT
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thedragonsfate · 11 months ago
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ok but helioc followers being doomed inherently if they have any tragic or untimely death because they're taught that "Helio wouldn't let that happen" and similar principles
Being taught to live for the afterlife but also to expect worldly challenges like murder/tragedy/etc are something you are like. Immune to somehow? In living?
You are devoted to Helio and in so you will have a peaceful death, one that is fair and just and I'm befitting circumstances. Or at least that if you are subject to a tragic death, Helio will be there to hold you with open arms and some kind of REASON. Something to bring a wholeness to the upset of not getting what you've been taught to expect.
This idea that you are helioc and so your death is Helioc. Helio must have a plan for you, and your death will not be untimely, and if it seems so it serves a greater purpose that is theologically rewarding. Because of course it does.
You are helioc and so you don't just die for no reason. Death is a moment of respite and a crossing into everlasting life and it will ALWAYS be for a greater reason if not simply your salvation.
Helioc followers (and followers of sol) learning that sense of disdain for their non or "wrongly" faithful peers due to that sense of superiority. That sense of superiority extending past your feelings about others and into your expectations for how you will pass into the afterlife.
That superiority creating a fellowship that EXPECTS Helio to save them in the living world - because you've been good, it's not your time yet, Helio wouldn't let that happen to you, his faithful servant. You are faithful and he would not punish you with a an unjustified death.
You are ENTITLED to a befitting death into afterlife because you are Good where the world is Bad and you do everything you can to remind those who do not follow your god, to relentlessly try to convert them, to fall into the trap you fell in so long ago shaped by fear, by a victim complex, by isolation from other groups that makes you hostile toward them, even if behind a smile.
A world that is Fundamentally and Observably polytheistic, where the Helioc unfortunate enough to befall a tragic, untimely, or unexplainable death are -doomed- to the faith upon meeting their Deity. Because unlike those of the faith who have passed peacefully or for their own martyrdom or whatever else, you show up to the corny gates and something is Wrong. Your god comes to you with love but he did not protect you in the way you're certain he was supposed to. In the way you were taught you DESERVED.
This is not a reward for your devotion and it cannot be justified. Your god is a Fratboy of Corn who is unable to answer your questions because to answer your questions truthfully would be to unravel the principles fundamental to your religion. To acknowledge that "bad things happen [to good people] because Things Happen" is to admit that being Helioc does not Save You from the wrath of the cosmos. That being Helioc does not make you uniquely and automatically good, and therefore safe from the happenstance of the world. That the good people you watched suffer did not Earn it in some way, they were just dealt that hand. The hard times befallen upon your worldly siblings is not something that happens because they weren't "devout enough."
to admit Helio is not inherently more holy than any other deity, is the kind of truth that can destroy this type of faith, and Helio needs to stay alive. Gods are not of the material, but they're dependent on their followers to survive. To bend to what their followers preach and create as their religion in this SPECIFIC way means that you can no longer be truthful about these matters when (if) they ask. In the right hands it could destroy him. He needs the unwavering faith the church has built to stay as strong as he has been, because that it how he's maintained the power he's had until now. He no longer knows another way. And that's excluding whatever influence Sol/the church of Sol has on him and his domain.
Helio not only cannot answer truthfully, but is DESTINED to get himself out of dodge quick upon being asked. Because as above so below, and the church is not known for its ability or willingness to take responsibility.
And if youre disillusioned enough, or angry enough, or sharp enough to put that together from an interaction in any way similar to Kristen's in freshman year, then the betrayal of your own God is GOING to take over.
Maybe you're like Kristen and you start asking questions, maybe you're like Buddy and take the rageful hand that offers to ressurect you the way your own God "should have".
But to die in the way they died automatically puts them in a position that if they are to get to heaven and ask questions, or have conflicting feelings strong enough to get you thinking, then they're DOOMED either to be disappointed with Helio or to dig deeper into deluding themselves. This of course will not always trigger a loss of faith, ans plenty of people leave the church in living for a myriad of reasons - we saw this with the summer of endless night. But there's something so interesting in the way the nature of your death could be further reinforcement of your ideals or completely shatter them in one fell swoop, even upon reaching the place of blessed afterlife.
because the Church of Helio seems different from the other religions we've seen in game in that over time the modern faith has been been BUILT on expectation and a sense of deserving more than others. And to die in a manner directly opposed to your own sense of entitlement is all that the latent anger may need to break that follower-deity relationship
Of course Kristen met Helio and was immediately unsure about her direction in life. On the other side of that coin, of course Buddy let his faith go to come back to life to serve a corrupt god of rage. They're children killed young and devout, who's deaths are orchestrated by powers out of their hands, and not in line with the ideals taught by your god.
The difference being how entrenched you are when that happens, and who's there to pull you out.
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angeltism · 1 year ago
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imliterally so urghhughruhgur rightno2w
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1tbls · 2 years ago
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my mom needs to find a new apartment soon and i am just scrolling through san francisco area housing listings for her like "hm. this landlord to should kill themself. hm. this landlord to should kill themself. hm. this landlord should-"
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shabadarada · 1 month ago
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I cant assign any of the moms any of the umi moms purely because theyre just straight up neglectful & not involved in their kids lives at all for various reasons. But its not like they even put up a front like Kyrie does so.
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oniro · 3 months ago
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Why do i keep dreaming about girls i don't talk to
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digitaldiseas3 · 8 months ago
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my friend is lowkey pissing me off
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madesofgold · 1 year ago
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Don't you wanna live far away from your family and their expectations sometimes and just start a new life?
#i feel so suffocated by my mother#she always gets herself involved in my business and crosses boundaries bc she just can't help herself#and she gets to do it bc i'm home most of the time even tho i have my own apartment but that's also not far away enough#and she still doesn't understand no and how to let me live my own life and she doesn't have to do everything for me#and everyone else i also want to please but i'm also sick of it and even tho they all mean well and they all just want things to go well#i feel so pressured by it and i just wanna get away from them all#but no wonder they all feel so invested in my life bc we're close and i spend a lot of time with my mum and grandparents and 'step dad'#and that's nice and i'm glad we're close and i wanna be but at the same time it means they sometimes just care too much#i guess i shouldn't complain about that like it's a bad thing but it just feels suffocating sometimes#and i don't want to live my life so that they're not disappointed in me and worry about me and so they're satisfied#i've been having the wish to move to another city or country for a while now and i honestly think it would be good for me#and especially me and my mama so that she cannot always get involved and has to accept that she can't control all things#and always try to 'help me'. i'm almost 25 like i need to learn how to live without my mother always being there#and god the urge to move somewhere else is so strong right now#i wish it was that easy to just be able to do it but i'm also anxious and scared and nothing is certain in my life rn#i just want a change though#sorry tumblr i had to let it out somewhere and i don't have therapy right now where i can actually talk about stuff#which maybe i should think about doing again#rambles
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29121996 · 1 year ago
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.
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exopelagic · 1 year ago
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I’m almost done complaining abt supervisors I swear
#I’m just >:((((#it’s all so incredibly frustrating and I should’ve had this done earlier I had all of December but I didn’t#I gotta write a dumb little statement abt why I wanna do their projects/work with them#and it’s dumb!! it’s not that hard!!!#I’m just driving myself insane with the social implications bc people are very competitive abt it and yknow what I kinda am too#bc I only actually wanna do one of my 3 and if I can’t do that I’m gonna be okay with but kinda disappointed by my second choice#and my third choice is more interesting than the second in theory but in practice it’s conservation focused which I don’t want#and involves spending a month in the woods in Scotland#which I admit sounds pretty fucking cool! but would suck in practice I’m not made for that#and I’ve also put off asking whether we’d be Camping™ (I couldn’t deal with it) or staying somewhere (would be manageable)#I am fairly sure it’s of the camping variety and even if it’s not we’d be travelling through the highlands constantly#it’s just a really long time doing stuff which is kinda cool but isn’t what I wanted and with someone I dont particularly think I’d get on w#with. I should email her but the project isn’t what I want to do however cool it would be to go back to the highlands and be there a while#I’m pretty sure I’d be kinda miserable. I’m really really hoping she doesn’t pick me bc there were only 3 people interested anyway#which would be great if I wanted to do it but as it stands it’s terrifying pls god let someone else have picked her#I’ve never been so glad I was awkward as hell in an important meeting#but the problem is that if I don’t pick that one and DO get my third choice I would be miserable for an entire year instead#bc my backup option is fucking satellite imagery and machine learning for more conservation this time in the ocean#and I don’t wanna do coding and GIS!!! I did that over summer and it sucked!!!! I hated it and I never wanted to do it again!!!!#so I think ultimately the scotland one is the lesser of two evils even though it’s very much an evil#the options I had reeeaaally sucked this time#god genuinely after the island thing last summer I really can’t do long fieldwork I want to be able to shower and go home#maybe I could one day but I’m not that guy yet#I really have to write these things I just wanna cry bc they suck so incredibly bad and I gotta make out like I’m super interested#and not so tired and frustrated by the whole thing#I hate this department and this uni and this city and I really can’t wait to be somewhere else#yknow what it’s 10:30 and I gotta be up early again I might just leave it tonight#today has been so long already and I don’t think I’ll gain anything by torturing myself abt it anymore#>:/#luke.txt
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victim9d · 1 year ago
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my roommate has a date over i think and im 🧍‍♂️
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inkdrinkerworld · 2 months ago
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same bday anon- i have a yelling req !!!
remus yelling at reader pre or post full moon and the other marauders don't say anything bc they're shocked, but reader thinks it's bc they agree? and then after a while they all make up and just cuddle<3 ofc if u don't wanna it's all good !!! ilysm baby !
I did it more along the lines of Remus having chronic pain than a werewolf thing :/ I hope that’s okay
You’re kneeling before Remus’ slouched body on the sofa, hand in his hair as you try to coax him to move.
“Remus, c’mon. You can’t lay like that, your bones will ache.”
You’re trying to get your ailing boyfriend to find a much more comfortable spot, his body sore and tired and the chill moving through the air wasn’t helping so much.
Sirius and James are in the kitchen- a bad idea but you’d wanted to try to coax Remus into some stretches and maybe a massage before they finished the potato and leek soup for supper.
“I can lay like this all I want, dove. It feels good.” There’s a snark in his tone, but you don’t let it get under your skin. You know how much pain he’s in when he has a flare up like this, so you brush his tone aside.
You run your hand down his cheeks, “Please Rem. I don’t want your knees to lock or your back to twinge.”
You’re as gentle as you can be, patient and understanding but you can see in your mind’s eye that way Remus wobbled and fell to the floor the last time his knees had locked.
“I’m a grown man damnit!” You flinch back from him as his tone shifts, your hand dropping from his face as you sit back on your heels on the floor. “If I want to fucking lay like this for the rest of the night I can.”
Remus’ outburst has gathered the attention of your other boyfriends, and you want terribly to respond to his words, but you can’t.
He sounds so upset and he’s so loud and you feel your chest constrict as you stare at him.
“I don’t need you hovering for gods sake! Go be a nuisance somewhere else.”
Remus speaks with such venom and he looks at you with just heat and anger in his eyes that it’s impossible not to believe this is how he really feed about you.
James and Sirius stay silent, shocked by Remus’ words just as you are- but their silence makes the shame burn hotter in your chest.
This is how they all feel about you.
“You don’t get to be mean just cause you’re hurting, Remus.” Is all you say as you stand, walking towards the front door when Sirius springs into action first.
“Poppet, where’re you headed?” He’s almost beaten you to the front door but your hand touches the handle first.
“I’m going for a walk. I want to stack stones by the river.” Sirius knows what it’s code for. You don’t want to say something mean back to Remus, you want to be kind even if he’s being an ass.
Sirius makes to grab your jumpers. “I’ll come with, you shouldn’t be alone.” You shake your head.
“You don’t have to pretend you care, Siri. It’s okay if you and Jamie agree with him. I just want to be alone.”
“Agree with him? Poppet we,” but you’re already out the door.
James glares at Remus who simply sinks into the sofa.
“You can be a real piece of work, Moony.” James says, hoisting his boyfriend out of the position he’d been in and stretching his legs long on the sofa instead of over its back.
Sirius moves to the living room again, “She was trying to help. Now she’s gone off to stack her stones when she should be tearing you a new one.”
Remus scrubs at his face, heat colouring his cheeks red. Sirius doesn’t let him off the hook. He can’t believe how callous Remus has been.
“Thinks me and James share your fuck off stupid sentiments when you don’t even believe what you said.”
James stops him from saying any more. “I’ll go look for her while you stay with him.”
Remus shakes his head, hissing as he stands; his knees shaky and weak. “I’ll go.” Sirius wants to stop him, but James knows if Remus doesn’t go do it now he’ll spend the entire time he’s home worrying himself sick and then won’t be able to face for days.
Sirius slaps his hands to his thighs, “Fuck off, we’ll all go. I’ll turn off the hob.”
They find you after you’ve already made four stacks of rocks, some with tiny rocks, some with huge slabs of stone.
Remus’ chest tightens as he spots you, your knees to your chest, toes wet from where you’re sat.
“Dove,” Remus starts to say as he stops right beside you. “I was an ass. I didn’t mean what I said.”
You just hum, looking at your stacks and trying to find more rocks for another pile.
“I hate when I can’t do the things I want because it’ll make me hurt and it was wrong of me to shout at you for just trying to look after me.”
You look at him when he crouched down, his knees cracking so loudly you’re worried he’ll topple over.
James steadies a hand on Remus’ back while Sirius procures a couple stones for you. His palm flat as he shows them to you, a little smile on his face when you take them.
“You said I was a nuisance.” Remus cringes as he heads the words back. He really can’t believe he’d been so mean to you.
“I didn’t mean it, dovey. The pain is no excuse.”
“Do you all think that?” You ask nervously, “You didn’t say anything when he said it.” You gnaw on your bottom lip, worrying it to all hell as you look between James and Sirius.
“You’re not a nuisance baby,” James says first, hurt that you’d even thought it was how they felt about you. “I know us not saying anything made things worse, but it was just shock; not how we feel.”
Sirius turns your face up to his, pinching your chin to keep your eyes on him. “You walked out before I could finish. None of us think you’re a nuisance, you’re the best damn thing that happened to us. Come home.”
Sirius is hard to have a stare off with, he doesn’t back down. But it isn’t that that does you in.
“Please dove. You can boss me around till the end of time, just come home and out of the cold.”
Remus sounds so chock full of remorse and when you look at him you find his eyes glassy. “Okay,” Sirius helps you stand, and you receive kisses from all three of them before you the river bed.
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florida3exclamationpoints · 2 years ago
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Stressed stressed stressed
#hiding in the bathroom :)#i have a lot of cakes to make and get to orger stores#I DONT HAVE HARDLY ANY MOLASSES#which. i did think i had more until last week. BUT I ORDERED IT LAST WEEK#i aldo have coolies to make. and if i cant make cakes i should make cookies. I HAVE NO FLOUR#which also. could've sworn i had more before last week. but I ORDERED IT LAST WEEK#now. someone left a note for me on the work forum that i wasnt ordering things right bc i was putting it in the wrong tab ??#which was weird bc ive had problems with ordering before and no ones ever told me#but whatever. she fixed it for me which was nice!! and i also left a note somewhere else that i need things!!!!!!!#ive been gone fore 5 days where are my things!!!!!!!#ok so another main thing i can make if i cant make those. is yogurt. and bulk yogurt boxes#the boxes need stickers. I HAVEN'T HAD STICKERS FOR AT LEAST 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!! AND I ORDERED THEM!!!!!!!!!#i can still make them they just wont be perfect...... ive made some for my store without the stickers#but id rather not transfer them to another store without stickers#but ig that's what i have to do???? bc i dont have anything else?????????#i have a little but if molasses i can see how far i can stretch it#but besides that??????? I NEED MY THINGS!!!!!!!!! AND I ORDERED THEM I DID WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO#apparently i was doing it wrong?? but ive been doing it like that and ive still gotten things shipped#and they fixed it for me. and i left another note. so i dont think this is my fault?#??????#but the manager is gonna come in in like an hour and im gonna HAVE A PANIC ATTACK#AAAAAAAAAA#she was a baker girl
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fear-less · 2 months ago
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₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 she ignored my letter!
pairing: james potter x f!reader
➥ In which, James writes you a love letter and hides it into your luggage carrying your clothes, not knowing he put it in a pocket you never open.
Warnings: angst, fluff, james pov, this inspired by awae (aka the best show ever)
a/n: heyyy... i had sm fun writing this, can't wait to write the rest of this bc i literally LOVE anne with an e and this is inspired by it ofc!!!! anyways, im barely writing now..smh, its cause im reading manacled and its literally heart breaking... im also editing on ae and its so hard so im slowly learning😭 but i want to finish this mini series by next week!!
series masterlist ! - divider creds: i-mmaculatus & dollywons
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James had liked you for a while now. He wasn’t quite sure when it started—maybe it was the way you laughed at his jokes, always the loudest in the room. Or perhaps it was when he’d catch you staring at him, your gaze lingering just a bit too long, thinking he was too distracted to notice.
With the Christmas holidays fast approaching, James knew he had to make a move. He had to let you know how he felt. If you didn’t feel the same, maybe the time apart over the holiday would make it less awkward. But he couldn’t let another term slip by in silence.
Knowing your love for all things old-fashioned, James decided there was no better way to confess his feelings than through a handwritten letter. It felt personal, genuine—something you’d appreciate. But writing it turned out to be harder than he imagined.
He’d written and discarded at least a dozen drafts, each one crumpled and tossed aside in frustration. Finally, after half an hour of agonizing over the perfect words, he settled on this version. It was short, straightforward, and sincere:
Dear, (Y/N)
I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete idiot. I’ve tried a hundred times, and every single attempt has been worse than the last. So here’s the truth—I’m hopelessly in love with you.
You’ve probably guessed I’m not great at being subtle. But what I’ve never been able to say outright is how much you mean to me. The way you laugh, the way your nose scrunches when you’re concentrating—Merlin, you make it impossible to focus on anything else. I want you to know that you’ve made me braver, happier, better. If you don’t feel the same, that’s okay—I just needed to get this off my chest.
Yours, James
He sighed deeply, folding the letter carefully before slipping it into an envelope. Your name was written on the front in his slightly shaky handwriting. Taking a steadying breath, he tucked it into the inside pocket of his robes. He’d leave it somewhere you’d find it tomorrow, just before you both left for the holidays.
As he lay awake that night, James tried to figure out the best way to deliver the letter. Should he hand it to you directly? No, that was too nerve-wracking—he’d probably end up babbling like an idiot. Maybe he could slip it into your bag and avoid the risk of witnessing your reaction.
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The morning was crisp, the kind of cold that painted your cheeks red and sent little clouds of breath swirling in the air. On the platform, the train sat waiting, puffing out plumes of steam that mingled with the frosty air. It was alive with the sound of students saying goodbye and dragging their luggage over the cobblestones.
James walked beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He was doing his best to appear casual, though every step he took felt heavier with the weight of the letter in his robe.
“Let me take that for you,” he blurted suddenly, nodding toward your luggage.
You blinked, surprised by the offer, but your lips curved into a warm smile. “Oh, thanks, James. That’s really sweet of you.”
He shrugged, trying to play it cool, but his ears turned a telltale shade of pink at your words. “What kind of bloke would I be if I didn’t help you out?” he mumbled, his voice tinged with nervous humor.
The two of you chatted as you strolled toward the train. You told him about your plans for the holidays—how you were excited to see your family, how your mum always made far too much food, and how you couldn’t wait to decorate the tree. James listened intently, nodding and laughing at all the right moments, even as his mind raced ahead to the task at hand.
Then, his opportunity came.
You turned away for a brief moment, waving at one of your friends across the platform. James acted quickly, pulling the envelope from his pocket and slipping it into the outermost compartment of your bag. His fingers brushed the fabric for only a second, but it felt like an eternity.
His heart was hammering so loudly he was certain it could be heard over the clamor of the platform. He straightened up just as you turned back to him, completely oblivious to what had just transpired.
“Thanks again for carrying that,” you said with a smile, your eyes meeting his.
James gave a small, lopsided grin and shifted your bag on his shoulder. “Anytime,” he replied, his voice steady despite the storm of nerves swirling inside him.
As the train’s whistle blew, signaling it was time to board, James knew there was no turning back now. All he could do was wait—and hope that when you found the letter, you’d read it and understand the words that had taken him so long to say.
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It had been days since you’d left for the holidays, and James still hadn’t heard from you. Each passing day only worsened the sinking feeling in his chest.
Did you not feel the same? Did you hate him for ruining the friendship? Or worse, were you so disgusted by his confession that you couldn’t even bear to send him a letter saying so?
By Christmas morning, the knot of worry in James’s stomach had become unbearable. He’d stopped pacing and pretending not to care. He spent the early hours staring at the window, waiting for an owl that seemed as though it would never come.
But then, just as the first rays of sunlight streamed through his frosted window, he saw it—a familiar owl perched outside, clutching a small envelope in its talons. His heart leapt with a desperate flicker of hope. Maybe you’d only just found the letter. Maybe you’d taken your time because you wanted to write something perfect.
James hurried to open the window, shivering as the cold air rushed in. The owl extended its leg, allowing him to untie the letter. “Thanks, mate,” James murmured, absently offering the owl a treat before it flew off into the winter sky.
His fingers trembled as he opened the envelope, eager to see your handwriting. But his heart sank the moment he read the first line.
“Happy Christmas, James!”
No mention of his letter. No response to his confession. Just a short, cheerful note wishing him a wonderful holiday and apologizing for not writing sooner. You explained that things had been hectic at home and promised to catch up with him soon.
James felt his chest tighten, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. The hope he’d been clinging to was slipping through his fingers.
You’d ignored his letter.
You’d chosen to act as though he’d never written it at all, as if he’d never poured his heart out on that piece of parchment.
James scoffed, his grip on the letter tightening. Fine, he thought bitterly. If you were going to pretend his confession didn’t exist, he could do the same.
He shoved the letter onto his desk, glaring at it as if it were the source of his frustration. Deep down, though, he knew the truth: he didn’t want to ignore you. He wanted to write back, to ask if you’d found the letter, to make sure you weren’t upset with him.
But pride was a stubborn thing, and James Potter wasn’t about to let his vulnerability show again—not now.
As the snow fell softly outside his window, James sat in silence, staring at the letter and wondering if he’d made a mistake by ever writing to you in the first place.
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When it was time to return to Hogwarts, James made no effort to find you. Normally, he’d scan the platform, pretending it was a coincidence whenever his eyes landed on you. This time, he couldn’t bring himself to look.
He saw you anyway, just briefly—standing near your family, your face lit up with that familiar smile. His heart leaped in his chest, and his legs almost betrayed him, ready to stride over and say something, anything. But he stopped himself.
Instead, James turned sharply, mumbling a quick goodbye to his parents before heading onto the train. He didn’t want to see you—not now.
The walk through the train felt heavier than usual. He knew exactly where his friends would be—the same compartment they’d claimed since their first year—but it felt like an eternity to get there. When he finally slid open the door, the familiar faces of Sirius, Remus, and Peter greeted him.
“Oi, Prongs!” Sirius called cheerfully, but his grin faltered when James slumped onto the seat next to Peter with a loud huff.
James leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He could feel Sirius’s gaze on him, curious and probing.
“What’s got your wand in a knot?” Sirius asked, unable to resist.
“Don’t.” James’s voice was sharp, firm. It was rare for him to be in a foul mood, let alone snappish.
Sirius raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I won’t say a word.”
The tension in the compartment was palpable. The train rattled on, and the usual chatter of the four friends was noticeably absent. Sirius kept stealing glances at James, who sat brooding, arms crossed. Peter fidgeted nervously, while Remus flipped through a book, clearly uncomfortable with the silence.
Finally, about an hour into the ride, James broke.
“She ignored my letter.” His voice was low, bitter, but it shattered the quiet like a hex.
The others exchanged looks before Peter spoke hesitantly. “She really ignored it?”
“Yes, Peter,” James snapped, his tone sharp enough to make Peter flinch. Realizing what he’d done, James sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine,” Peter mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
“Maybe she didn’t see it,” Remus offered, his tone calm and rational. “What if it got lost in her luggage? Or someone else found it and hid it? Maybe you gave her another piece of parchment? There’s always a chance—”
“Moony, no.” James cut him off, his voice strained. “I double-checked. It was the right letter, in the right spot. And who doesn’t check their trunk full of clothes over the holiday?”
“Maybe she doesn’t,” Sirius said with a shrug, trying to lighten the mood. “You know, women can be unpredictable. Maybe she’s got a secret stash for random letters in her trunk.”
“No, she checks,” James said with certainty. “I’ve slipped plenty of things into her luggage before, and she’s always found them. She just doesn’t fancy me back.” His voice cracked slightly at the end, but he forced a small, bitter smile. “And it’s fine. I’ll get over it. I always do, right?”
The compartment fell silent again, the weight of James’s words sinking in.
Sirius leaned forward, a flicker of frustration in his eyes. “It’s not fine, James. If she didn’t fancy you back, that’s one thing. But ignoring you? That’s—”
“Don’t,” James interrupted quietly, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Don’t make it worse, Padfoot.”
Sirius bit back a retort and leaned back in his seat, muttering under his breath.
The rest of the ride passed more comfortably, but the shadow of James’s disappointment lingered. His friends cracked jokes and told stories, trying to lift his spirits, but even when he laughed, it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Deep down, James wondered if he’d ever stop wishing that you’d read his letter and felt the same way.
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Hours later, everyone had gathered in the Great Hall. The enchanted ceiling reflected the dusky evening sky, and the buzz of students catching up after the holiday filled the room. Normally, James would sit with Sirius to his left, you to his right, and Remus and Peter across from him. It was a familiar arrangement, one you’d fallen into without question.
But tonight, James broke the routine.
He subtly nudged Peter into the spot on his right before sitting down, leaving the space where you’d usually sit conspicuously empty.
You walked in a moment later, scanning the Gryffindor table until you spotted your usual group. But when you approached, your steps faltered. Peter sat where you always did, looking apologetic but saying nothing.
Your eyes darted to James, silently questioning him, but he avoided your gaze, his attention fixed stubbornly on his plate.
Confused, you looked to Remus for an explanation. Out of all the Marauders, he was the one you trusted most to give you a straight answer. But Remus only shrugged, his expression carefully neutral, though the twitch at the corner of his mouth hinted at discomfort.
You scoffed, your chest tightening. First, James ignored you all through the holiday, and now he didn’t even want to sit near you? Fine. If he wanted to sulk like a child, you weren’t going to beg for his attention.
Without another word, you turned on your heel and walked further down the table, sliding into a seat beside your other group of friends. You forced yourself to laugh at their jokes and join in their chatter, but your mind kept wandering back to James.
At the Gryffindor table, James’s eyes flicked toward you more often than he’d admit. Every time he saw you laughing with your friends, his stomach twisted.
“Why is she acting like I’m the one in the wrong?” James muttered under his breath, jabbing at a piece of roast potato with his fork.
“Maybe because you’re acting like a prat?” Sirius replied, his tone laced with amusement as he leaned closer.
James shot him a glare.
“Look, Prongs,” Sirius continued, dropping the teasing. “She doesn’t know what’s going on. You didn’t even give her a chance to explain, and now you’re sulking like a first-year who lost his chocolate frog cards.”
“Explain what? She ignored my letter, Padfoot. What’s there to explain?” James hissed, though his tone lacked its usual conviction.
Remus sighed, setting down his goblet. “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she doesn’t even know what letter you’re talking about?”
James froze, his fork hovering mid-air.
“Just talk to her, mate,” Sirius said, giving James a nudge. “Or don’t. But if you keep this up, you’re only making it worse—for both of you.”
James huffed, slumping back in his seat. The truth was, he didn’t know if he had it in him to face you just yet.
From across the hall, you caught the way James’s shoulders sagged, and for a brief moment, you considered walking over. But pride held you in place. If James wanted to act like this, fine. Two could play that game.
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You and James hadn’t spoken in what felt like weeks. The once effortless connection you shared had been replaced with an awkward silence that weighed heavily on you. It wasn’t just James—it felt like the whole group of Marauders had grown distant, their usual antics and inside jokes missing their spark when you were around.
You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d done something to upset him. But what? You racked your brain for answers, replaying every interaction from the past few months. James had always been one of your closest friends—why was he acting so strange?
Charms class was the hardest part of it all. You always sat beside James, sharing notes, exchanging whispers, and stifling laughs when Professor Flitwick wasn’t looking. Now, you sat in the same spot, the chair next to you glaringly empty.
You tried to focus on the professor’s instructions, but your thoughts were louder than his voice. Scribbling aimlessly in your notebook, you hardly noticed when someone approached your desk.
“Are you alright?”
Startled, you looked up to see a boy with a blue-and-bronze tie standing beside you. His face was vaguely familiar—you’d seen him around in class but had never spoken to him.
“Yeah—yes, I’m fine,” you stammered, blinking in confusion. Why was he talking to you?
He gave a polite, slightly amused smile. “Well, can you move your stuff? I’m sitting here now. We’re partners for the project.”
“Oh!” Heat rose to your cheeks as you hurriedly shoved your books to one side. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize.”
“No worries,” he said, settling into the chair beside you. “I figured you weren’t paying attention—no offense. But I was, so I’ll explain what Professor Flitwick said.”
You managed a small smile, relieved by his casual tone. “Thanks. That’s… helpful.”
While he began outlining the project details, your focus wavered, glancing at James out of the corner of your eye. He was across the room, seated next to a loud and enthusiastic partner who seemed to be trying desperately to get his attention. But James wasn’t listening.
His gaze was fixed on you.
There was a flicker of something in his expression—jealousy, maybe? Regret? Whatever it was, it made your stomach twist.
You quickly turned your attention back to your new partner, nodding along to his explanation, even if you weren’t entirely listening. You felt James’s eyes on you the entire time, but you refused to look back.
Across the room, James’s jaw clenched. His partner waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance.
“Oi, Potter! Are you even listening?”
“Huh? Yeah, sure,” James muttered, though his eyes drifted back to you moments later.
He hated this—seeing someone else sitting beside you, making you smile when that used to be his seat, his job. But he didn’t know how to fix it. The letter. The silence. The way he’d avoided you. It all felt too big now, too messy to undo.
Still, James couldn’t stop watching you, his heart sinking further with every laugh you shared with your new partner.
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