#bc now i cant get into the dorms like i think i missed the window

[chaos-coming]

I hate having to find housing every time i move like this is so stressful and eating up all my time.

I just want to find a place i dont hate living and put down some roots for once, but everywhere i liked i had to leave bc of external bullshit (like getting deported during the pandemic lockdowns bc my visa status didnt qualify to stay) and everywhere thats supposed to be nice turns out to suck majorly (austria my beloathed)

[aropride]

long vent post abt covid + my sister

i genuinely dont know when the last time my little sister wasnt sick for more than two weeks was. im trying to remember but i cant . its been almost constant since she got covid in dec2021. and she has all these new allergies and symptoms and stuff she had as a baby came back after. and my parents are like antivax antimask "its just a cold" conspiracy theorists and they arent going to protect her they only got her her mandatory vaccines bc our doctor finally made them and theyre convinced shes always sick bc of the vaccines and not bc of covid. and i know theres nothing i can say or do that will get through to them. and i know my sister doesnt understand Why shes sick all the time so of course shes going to believe our parents because shes a kid why wouldnt she believe them. and i know eventually she'll figure out why shes so sick. when long covid gets talked about more when i figure out how to explain it to her etc eventually she'll find out and it's going to like. ruin her view of our parents and the world at large

and i spent my whole childhood since the day she was born making it like my lifes mission to keep her safe but i had no hope of protecting her against this there was no way i could have done much but my parents could have and should have and now they blame it all on the vaccines its because the doctor gave her vaccines no it isnt!!! no it is not!!! and every time i see her or facetime her or she sends me an audio message i hear the crackle in her throat and i dont know if it will ever go away

and if youre not looking for it youll miss it but if you go in public and sit and listen .youll hear the coughing and sniffling and the crackle in people's throats. i keep my windows open bc my dorm gets too hot and all day i hear people walking by and coughing. my only other covid cautious friend has noticed it. none of my non cc friends have. but i swear to god it's there sit in a library for a few hours and listen it's there it gets worse every year. and nobody even notices and people look at you weird when you mention that everyone's been getting sicker recently

but they are they fucking are ive read the studies ive looked at the data. everyone's sick all the time and they dont even notice it they go "it's the freshman flu" "it's allergies" you arent even a freshman you dont even have allergies. "man ive just been so short of breath recently" then i'm the crazy one if i say the obvious reason for that. i feel fucking crazy i know im not im looking at the studies im looking at the data im learning the science but nobody will listen

i share covid data and protection and everything on instagram all the time im always talking about it because im always thinking about it because i hear it everywhere and nobody listens nobody is masking and i dont understand why i dont understand how - i heard someone cough out my window just now - i don't understand how social pressure can win over the objective truth when the objective truth is killing and disabling people. how do people not care??? i need people to care one-way masking is better than nothing but so much could have been prevented if people would just put on the fucking mask

what am i even supposed to do when everyone's just accepted being sick forever when people dont 'even notice how fucked up their bodies are becoming when people seem to think it could never happen to them and they don't seem to care that they can and will pass it to other people even if they never are symptomatic . how are we supposed to live like this??? are we going to reach a breaking point or are people just going to fucking die forever??? what will it take for people to start masking again??? to start caring???

i dont know what infection number my sister is on. three that i know of for sure but i'd be shocked if she hadn't had it at least five times. shes thirteen . i dont know what to do

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Fred Weasley x Reader

 Prompt: The three times Fred knew he fell for you, and the one time he told you he loves you.

A/N: I absolutely love this prompt, I’ve seen it a couple times before but if your the creator of it please let me know so I can give you credit. Also credits to the owner of this gif!

Warnings: My longest fic ever, So many commas, Fluff, maybe angst but not really, Fred being cute, you being cute, both you and Fred being oblivious to your feelings, swearing bc its me, I think that’s it

It all started sixth year. Fred was sitting across the room from you in potions, one of the only classes you had together. You knew each other pretty well, being in the same house and year as each other, but you didn’t really get to know each other until year five, when a certain incident brought you together.

You were working on a potion, trying to read the directions as you simultaneously poured in your ingredients, before looking up and seeing you were accidentally putting in dragons horn instead of dragon claw. You started flipping through you book frantically, causing Snape to walk over.

“Something the matter Y/L/N” He said in his monotone voice, but before you could answer, your potion exploded, causing thick purple slime to cover the both of you.

The class went completely silent, not daring to speak, except for Fred, who after a few seconds was kneeled over laughing.

“Ten points from Gryffindor, and both Y/N Y/L/N and Fred Weasley will be spending the rest of the day in detention” Snape said, dismissing the class before excusing himself to exit to his office, leaving Fred to look at your purple covered self, only to be surprised when you let out a chuckle.

“He’s a lot less scary when he’s purple” You said to Fred, which caused both of you to fall into a new wave of laughter, before you pulled out your wand and muttered a quick cleaning spell.

Fred watched noticing you had missed a spot in your hair, making Fred cross the room over to you and reach to remove the last bits of goo out of your hair, which was surprisingly soft.

You laughed before thanking him and going to collect your things so you could go do whatever tasks Snape had in store for you. Fred watched as you moved your hair behind your ear, and couldn't help but notice how his heart rate picked up.

The next time Fred knew he had fallen for you was much more obvious. You and Fred had become good friends since the potions incident, and he had even let you help with some of his and Georges pranks every once in a while. You three were beginning to get along very nicely.

One night though, Fred and George were up late working on a new type of fire work in the common room, which involved using just the right amount of possibly explosive materials.

This obviously ended badly, sending fireworks flying around the room and causing quite a bit of noise. You probably wouldn’t have noticed if you were asleep, a good bit of soundproofing between the common room and your dorm room, but because you were already awake, having had trouble falling asleep, you heard the sound and assumed the worst, running out of the dorm and down the stairs.

“What's going on?!” You said once you reached the common room, eyes landing on the two boys who were ducked behind one of the couches, and covered in a bit of ash.

“New project” George said smiling looking over to Fred, expecting to join in on his explanation, but Fred was just staring at you. You had run down in a rush and didn’t bother to get changed, so you were still in a tank top and short shorts, causing Fred's brain to pretty much short circuit.

He had always found you attractive, but he had never really seen you in anything accept your robes for classes, so suddenly seeing so much skin was certainly a change.

You didn’t notice Fred's staring, but George certainly did, coming to his brothers rescue and elbowing him, snapping him out of his trance.

“Huh? Oh yes, fireworks, got a bit carried away” Fred said, trying to recover from the seemingly obvious ogling.

“Working with dangerous explosive without me” You said, putting a hand to your chest and putting on a fake sad face “and here I thought we were friends”

“We were planning on inviting you but-” Fred said, suddenly flustered over that he may have hurt your feelings.

“I’m kidding Fred, sheesh what's gotten into you?” You said smiling and shaking your head. “Maybe all that gun power has finally gotten to your head”

“Yeah probably” Fred said, trying to laugh it off.

“Well, I’m off to bed, try to keep it down” You said, before saying goodnight and heading to your room.

“That was painful to watch” George joked, causing Fred to look at him

“How do you mean?” Fred asked

“You’ve got it baaaaad” George said, causing Freds face to heat up before he wacked his younger brother on the shoulder.

“Shut up” Fred said, causing a laugh to erupt from George

After that night George was doing everything in his power to get the two of you together. Leaving the room whenever it was just you three, tripping you so you would fall into Fred, on top of many other things. Sure George thought you two would make a good couple, but to see the flustered look on his brothers face whenever you were near him was enough to keep it going, despite you being completely oblivious to him liking you.

The weekend had finally rolled around, and you and a few friends, including Fred and George, were headed to Hogsmeade to do some shopping and just to have a few hours away from the school grounds.

You were walking with Fred and George, doing some window shopping just as it started to snow.

“Ah shit” You said, looking at the falling particles. You loved the holiday season, but you did not handle cold well. You were already wearing two sweaters and could already feel yourself starting to get cold.

“What's the matter Y/N?” Fred asked, looking down to see you wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Its nothing” you said, trying to seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out you were cold.

“Speaking of nothing, I need to go get some supplies for some new prototypes, so I’ll leave you to it” George said, quickly parting from the group, but not before sending Fred a quick wink, noticing how George was holding his wand.

“That little” Fred muttered to himself, finally figuring out that George started the snow in the first place.

“What was that?” You said, looking up at Fred, a slight red tint starting to dust over your cheeks as the air got colder. Fred couldn’t help but look a few seconds longer than he should have, thinking about how cute you looked.

“Oh nothing” Fred excused, continuing to walk next you you past the shops. 

After a few more seconds, he noticed your arms wrapping more tightly around yourself, slightly shivering as a particular gust of wind shocked your body with cold. Without thinking, Fred put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.

You started warming up, his body heat surrounding you almost instantly. You could feel the muscles of his arm underneath the fabric of his sweater as he pulled you even closer to him, causing your face to suddenly heat up. Quidditch practice really had its rewards.

“Is this ok?” Fred asked, noticing your changed expression. you nodded

“Yeah, its actually really nice” you said, wrapping your arm around him as well and leaning your head on his shoulder a bit.

You spent the rest of the day like that, snow falling around the two of you, arms around each other, feeling butterflies swarming your stomach. You had always found the older Weasley twin attractive, but you hadn’t really thought of him romantically until now, and you didn’t completely hate it.

“Warmer yet?” Fred asked, causing you to snap out of your haze.

“Much, thank you” You said, looking at Fred to see a mischievous look on his face. 

“Good” He said, before suddenly plopping a snowball on your head. where had he gotten that?!

“Oh... so this is how its going to be” You said, kneeling down to form your own snowball, picking it up and looking at Fred.

“Now Y/N, lets not get to hasty” He started, before he was dodging a snowball aimed right at his face.

“Get ready to pay Weasley!” you yelled, chasing him, throwing snow balls at each other, laughing the whole time before you suddenly fell flat on your back.

“I cant, I surrender” you said through laughs, trying to catch your breath

“So what you’re saying is that I’m the best snow ball player in the world” Fred said, making you roll your eyes.

“Shut up and help me” You said, holding out your hand for Fred to help you up, but as soon as he grabbed it you pulled him down, causing him to land next to you, causing you both to fall into a fi of laughter.

“That was so evil” Fred said from beside you, after you had both finally composed yourselves.

“Nah you love me” You said, causing Fred to tense a bit beside you at the sudden realization that, he actually might. Before he could say anything tough, you had slapped another snowball to his chest, getting up and running in the opposite direction.

“Race you back!” You said, causing Fred to laugh, before standing and chasing after you, all the while thinking about what the hell he was supposed to do.

The next year you were closer than ever. You had visited each other dozens of times over the summer, and just as you were headed back to school and getting used to the old routine, it was time for the Tri-Wizard tournament. You watched as Fred and George attempted the aging potion, laughing as they both flew back as old men, but also visiting them when they had to go to the hospital wing.

You were in class with Fred, potions once again but this time you two were lab partners. You sat at your desk, talking with Fred about something random when Snape walked in, telling us to open our textbooks and prepare for the lesson.

As you were reading you suddenly felt a piece of paper fall by your hand. You looked at it and then over to Fred, who was already looking at you, nodding to make you open it. you reached for it but before you could open it, the note was snatched out of your hand by Snape.

“No, note passing in class” He said before throwing the note in a trash in the corner.

You looked back at Fred, who glared at Snape as he walked away before bringing his attention back to you. He put his book down and looked to make sure Snape wasn’t looking.

“Do you... want to go to the ball... with me” He mouthed, creating pretending to dance before pointing to himself.

You instantly felt your face heat up. Over the summer your feelings towards Fred had certainly grown, but you didn’t think he would feel the same way about you. You quickly snapped out of your trance though, smiling at Fred and nodding.

“What am I going to do?!” You shouted as you landed face first into your pillow, Angelina and Katie looking at you, rolling their eyes at your dramatics.

“Go to the ball with him you dim whit” Katie said, causing you to glare at her.

“He probably only asked me as a friend anyway” you muttered.

Both Angelina and Katie knew about your crush on Fred. They both also knew Fred had a crush on you, Angelina finding out from George, who was a whole other love story waiting to happen.

“Or... maybe he asked you out because he likes you” Angelina countered.

“I don’t know, I’m just freaking out” You said, sitting up to look at the two girls.

“I have a perfect solution” Katie said, causing both you and Angelina to look at her.

“Y/N, you have a crush on Fred, Angelina, you have a crush on George-”

“I do not-!” Angelina started, before Katie cut her off.

“You do too, now shut it and listen” Katie said. She was pretty close to George and Fred, being on the same quidditch team and all and knew for certain that the twins liked the both of you.

“Angelina, you’re going to go to the ball with George, Y/N with Fred, now if at any point they don't seem interested, you can just ditch and hang out with each other the rest of the ball.” She said, matter of factly.

“That's a stupid plan” You said, earning a pillow to the head.

“It is not! And you wont even need it because they like you you idiots!” Katie said throwing her arms in the air. Literally everyone could see that You and Fred liked each other, except for you two.

“Were doomed” You said, causing both you and Angelina to fall backward onto your beds, Katie rolling her eyes.

Two days later, you were sitting in front of your mirror getting ready for the ball. You had chosen a beautiful blue and silver halter top dress. It hugged your body until it reached your waist when it fanned out a bit. You matched it with some silver shoes that you found comfortable, and had Angelina help you with your hair.

“You look amazing, he’d be stupid not to see that” She said, finishing your hair.

“Says you, you look like a goddess!” you said, looking at her purple dress.

“We all look great now lets go” Katie said impatiently. She had gotten a date from Durmstrang and was excited to say the least. You all shared a laugh before heading out to the ball.

Fred was a nervous wreck waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was trying not to show it, trying to mask his nerves with his usual goofy attitude but George could see through it.

“You’re going to be fine, chill out already” George said, causing Fred to shoot him a look.

“I’m completely chill! I’m the most chill person in the world, I’m-” Fred’s rambling was cut off when he saw George suddenly looking at the grand staircase behind him. Following his eyes, Fred turned to see Angelina, Katie and you. All he could see was you.

Suddenly all the nerves he had, all the things he practice he was going to say, all the worry, left his head. You were Y/N, you were his best friend, and he couldn’t believe how absolutely head over heels he was for you.

“Good evening sir” You said, doing a little curtsey, causing Fred to smile.

“Madam” He said, doing a deep bow and causing you to laugh. “Shall we” he said, holding out his arm.

“We shall” You said, taking his arm and following him to the ball room.

You spent the whole evening either dancing, or talking when you needed a breather. You would drink punch and people watch, trying to guess what people were saying to each other.

Suddenly the music changed, starting a slow song. You looked at Fred to see he was already looking at you. Wordlessly he held out his hand, causing you to smile while you took it. You walked out to the dance floor and started to sway to the music, suddenly very aware of the feeling of his hand on your waist. 

“You look amazing Y/n” Fred said, leaning down so he could almost whisper it in your ear, causing chills to run down your spine.

“You don’t look to bad yourself” You joked, not wanting to get caught u in the moment and forget that you were only here as friends. Right?

“Can I take you somewhere really fast?” Fred asked. you felt your cheeks heat up at his sincerity but nodded none the less, allowing him to lead you out of the ball room.

He lead you to the outside of the castle. You walked side by side, just taking in the scenery before Fred suddenly stopped, causing you to as well. You had stopped at the bridge, being able to get a full view of the Black lake, the moon reflecting off of it. 

You were too busy looking at the water to notice how Fred was looking at how the moon fell on your face, and made your eyes seem to glow. Or how he felt like he was suddenly seeing you for the first time all over again. Or how badly he wanted to just lean in and-

“Thank you, for asking me to the dance” You said, snapping Fred out of his trance.

“Of course, they ’res nobody id rather go with” He said looking at you, but you refused to meet his eyes.

“I’m sure that's not true. I’m sure there's someone here that you fancy” You said.

Fred looked at you confused. “How do you mean?” He asked.

“George told me that you liked someone... over the summer” You said. Fred mentally face palmed. That idiot! Of course he was talking about you, but Fred guessed George was just trying to get you to confess, which you obviously didn’t.

“Well, yeah... I do like someone” Fred said, an idea coming to mind.

“Oh... well who is she” You said, trying to mask you disappointment.

“Well, she’s in Gryffindor, she’s the absolute funniest person I’ve ever met, she has this smile where you see it and you can’t help but smile yourself, she's able to just walk into class and make the whole room brighter, ya know?” He said, looking down at you, trying to hide the sadness on your face.

“Is it Katie? Because I can talk to her and-” You started

“Oh my god, its you dumbass!” Fred suddenly exclaimed, causing your head to shoot up to meet his eyes.

“Wait, you like me?” You asked, Fred nodding, turning his body and gently grabbing both of your hands, holding them in front of him.

“Yeah, I have since last year” He said. Now it was his turn to not meet your eyes. “I knew I liked you from the moment you turned Snape purple, and ever since I’ve just fallen for every part of you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier, I was just worried that-”

You cut off his rambling, quickly lifting yourself on your tip toes and quickly pressing your lips to his. The kiss lasted less than a second, and you couldn’t read the expression on his face, causing you to panic a bit.

Meanwhile, Fred was wondering if what happened actually happened, or if he suddenly died and went to heaven, he didn’t see your worried expression though.

“I’m sorry, I-” This time Fred cut you off, moving one hand to cup your face while the other went to rest on your hip. You reacted quickly, closing your eyes and moving to wrap your arms to rest around his neck. 

This kiss lasted much longer, the two of you moving in sync as you finally did what he had wanted to do for almost a whole year. After a while you both finally pulled away for air, smiling at each other like idiots.

“I think I might be in love with you” Fred said, causing you to blush

“I think I might be in love with you too” You said, causing you both to laugh a bit before leaning in to reconnect your lips, but not before-

“Its about bloody time!” George shouted, causing the both of you to jump apart, fearing it might have been a teacher, but as soon as you both saw it was only George and Angelina, Fred started fuming while you just laughed.

“No thanks to you, arsehole!” Fred yelled back, causing George to laugh, before you suddenly realized the situation before you.

“Wait what are you two doing out here?” You asked, causing both George and Angelina to stop laughing, a slight tint forming on their faces.

“Well we were just going to... um...” George started, trying to find the words

“We were going to snog” Angelina said bluntly, causing George to look at her with a look of shock on his face, while you and Fred just laughed.

“Well Its about time yourselves then!” You yelled, giving Angelina a quick thumbs up before they left towards the Gryffindor common room.

“How did that not happen sooner, its so obvious they liked each other” You said, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

“completely oblivious, the both of them, couldn’t be us” Fred joked back, making you giggle before reconnecting his lips to yours.

A/N: I'm still in the denial faze of grief because Fred Weasley is my dream man but he doesn't exist, so please feel free to enjoy my coping mechanism :)

[taliasburns]

POSIE / HIZZIE HIGHSCHOOL AU (NO POWERS)

i promised this like ages ago so pls dont hate me but heres 2k of me writing yet another semi fic that started out as headcanons and ended up with me writing a story. (also you can pry cheer captain! penelope park from my cold dead hands) (a huge thanks to @posh-with-2-fields for helping me write this)

hope: big ass loner in school but last year she punched rafael waithe in the face after he harassed a girl (the girl was lizzie Saltzman, whom she is completely in love with) so everyone admires her (the guys are kinda scared of her)

josie: the quiet saltzman twin, really fucking smart. she’s in the school like orchestra thing (school band??) and she plays piano. she also plays in the  field hockey team with her twin. (she wants to focus on her music but she’s afraid of what lizzie will say)

penelope park: ur perfect hbic, captain of the cheer squad. super smart and openly gay. (she’s a fucking rebel, can tear you down with her words and all the girls wanna get in her pants)

lizzie saltzman: hbic 2.0, captain of the field hockey team. secretly in love with hope ever since the girl punched raf in the face when he was harassing her in the locker room. she just admires hope from afar bc she’s afraid her reputation will fall if she were to ask hope out

then they have to do a group project (with a partner). Lizzie gets paired with hope and josie gets paired with penelope

lizzie and hope work on the project in the twins room. Lizzie told josie to go to penelope’s dorm (“josie don’t you dare fall for her charms”)

(people say penelope is a player and people know her as a player (surprise surprise shes not)

So, lizzie being completely in love with hope (but still denying it) keeps accidentally flirting with hope and hope being the useless gay she is gets completely flustered whenever she does it. (lizzie keeps touching her and she CANT DEAL WITH THE SOFT TOUCHES)

Penelope and josie meet up to work on the project on days penelope doesn’t have cheer practice (josie loves how seriously she takes being captain, on Fridays she has practice early so they can still work on their project and penelope always tells her how proud she is of the girls on her squad)

(josie is slowly finding out penelope is definitely not the heartless bitch lizzie describes her as) (maybe she is slowly falling for the charm that is penelope park) (maybe she’s okay with that)

on the days penelope has cheer practice she has to walk by the music room to get to her dorm. Since two weeks ago there has been a girl in there playing piano and singing. (penelope first heard her two weeks ago, now she sits against the door every Monday and Wednesday listening to this girl play and sing)

she doesn’t know who the girl is. (the girl locks the door behind her (yes penelope tried to open it once) she might be falling in love with her voice (she tries to find that voice every school day (shes afraid she’ll never find the girl).

At the same time penelope starts to fall for josie Saltzman. Her soft smiles, her willingness to help other people, her terrible jokes (she tells josie they’re terrible, she loves them). She asks pedro (the kid she tutors) if it’s possible to fall for 2 people at the same time.

While they’re working on the project hope and lizzie get to know each other and grow closer. Lizzie tells hope how much she hates the fact that her mom and dad are always travelling, that they never have time for her and josie.  Hope shows lizzie the painting she made of her dad (he died 7 years ago, hope still misses him more than anything)

Hope loves how she and lizzie have become friends (it still stings when lizzie treats her as a mere acquaintance when in the presence of her friends, she tells herself that having a friendship behind closed doors is enough (it’s not)

3 days before they have to present the project to their class penelope’s roommate decides to invite her boyfriend over. Josie and penelope cant use the twins dorm either because hope and lizzie are working on their project in there so josie suggests they use the music room. She tells penelope she has a key to that room so she can practice during after school hours. (when josie sits down at the piano and starts playing a quick tune penelope recognizes the song as the same one she heard mystery piano girl play yesterday)

That is the moment penelope park realizes two girls shes falling in love with (the one with the beautiful voice and the one with the soft smiles and terrible jokes) are actually the same girl.

Back at the twins dorm hope and lizzie are sitting on lizzies bed joking around (they finished the project like 3 hours ago)

After a joke hope makes she falls into lizzie and when she looks up lizzie’s face is suddenly very close to hers, she decides to just go for it and kisses lizzie (who is she kidding she has been trying to pick up the courage to kiss lizzie for years (she has been a bit in love with the girl ever since she first saw her at freshman year)

Lizzie kisses back for a few seconds before she suddenly rips herself away and jumps from the bed. And asks hope what the hell shes doing.

Hope is like... i thought you would be okay with this. Lizzie tells her she would never want to date a girl or kiss a girl let alone hope of all people (2 seconds after she says this she hates herself for saying it, it may have something to do with absolute broken look on hopes face)

Hope’s still standing in her room and lizzie doesn’t know what to do (she’s afraid shell break down crying if hope doesn’t leave soon)

Hope is starting to walk towards her so she yells out get the fuck away from me mikaelson (she hasn’t called hope “mikaelson” in weeks, it sounds foreign on her tongue, she hates it)

After hope basically runs out of the door she collapses on her bed silently crying. After a few minutes she hears the telltale sound of josies laugh coming down from the hallway (her heart hurts knowing josie found her person, that she dares to be open about who she loves) she doesn’t want to take her sisters happy moment away so she pretends to be asleep

The following days leading up to the presentation hope somehow manages to avoid every type of interaction with lizzie (one time she literally jumps out of a window to avoid being in the same room as lizzie)

Lizzie tells herself its fine, she tells herself her reputation would have been ruined (she’s not fine, her eyes automatically look for hope in every room and she misses her more than anything)

On the day of the presentation  hope walks into the classroom. Lizzie thinks her heart might have skipped a beat (maybe even 3).

Penelope’s and josies presentation is flawless. (lizzie feels a pang when she sees the absolute adoration in both penelopes and josies eyes, she glances at hope, the girl is pointedly staring at the board)

Lizzies and hopes presentation goes off without a hitch, still lizzie feels like her stomach is filled with lead (this may have something to do with hope avoiding all eye contact and her walking out of the classroom the moment the class is over)

After class penelope walks up to josie, building up the courage to finally ask the girl out (at first josie doesn’t understand, “but pen, the project is over, you don’t have to hang out with me if you don’t want to”)

After that penelope just blurts out she wants to take josie out on a date (josie blushes profusely and stammers out a yes). Penelope secretly does a tiny fist pump (josie totally sees it)

They have their first date in the music room (but josie, babe, for me this is the place where it all started) and penelope kisses josie right after josie finishes the song she played when penelope first heard her (you sat here all these days and i had no idea!!)

Its a week after the presentations and hope is still not talking to lizzie (lizzie is starting to doubt if her reputation is worth all this pain) (people are starting to notice her staring at hope all the time too, shes not even sure if that bothers her anymore)

It all comes to head when penelope asks her about hope. (ever since penelope got paired up with josie their relationship has been less strained, now that pen is dating josie they even consider themselves friends)

Lizzie breaks down (penelope freaks out at first and texts josie to come to the twins dorm a s a p) and eventually lizzie tells josie and penelope everything. About hope, about having fallen for the girl, about them growing closer, about hope kissing her. And about lizzie freaking out, being afraid of her reputation falling, and pushing hope away so far shes afraid shell never get the girl back.

Josie tries to talk to her but eventually it’s penelope’s words that stick with lizzie (honestly liz, reputation isn’t important, in 10 years everyone will forget about who you were in high school, especially all these other “popular bitches”, the people who stay with you are the important ones, hope is one of those people)

After this lizzie starts to actually be herself, not the version she wanted to be to stay popular. She sits with penelope and josie (usually mg, kaleb, jed, and landon join)

When one of the players from the football team asks her out during lunch break she finds herself saying no. When he asks why she tells him shes in love with someone else and that this girl is so much better than him. (lizzie later realizes that she basically came out to the whole school, in the moment itself, all she saw was hope mikaelson staring at her from across the room)

A week later Rafael waithe again manages to corner her in the locker room (taunting her about the fact that a date with him will get her straight again)

He starts walking towards her but before he can set 3 steps someone steps in front of him and punches him in the face (lizzie knows its hope, she’d recognize her anywhere)

After Rafael walks away (once again with a broken nose) hope asks her if shes okay (hope is talking to her and lizzie has never been more okay)

Hope starts to walk away (im glad you’re okay lizzie)

Before she can do that lizzie grabs her hand, spins her around and kisses her. Hope stands still for a full 2 seconds (lizzie starts to back away thinking she made a mistake, that she truly went too far, that hope will never forgive her) before she grabs lizzie and smashes their lips together

When they finally catch their breaths (hope has lizzie pinned against the lockers) hope asks her what changed.

Lizzie just tells her she changed (and that someone made her realize hope is worth so much more than a freaking reputation and girls she doesn’t even want to be friends with) (she also tells her shes so sorry for the way she treated hope, that she wont ever forgive herself for doing that)

Hope just smiles and kisses her again (they stay in the locker room so long the janitor has to pull them out of it)

3 weeks later penelope walks away from her cheer practice with lizzie (who just finished her own practice) when they walk through the school they hear music coming from the music room. When penelope opens the door they find josie and hope sitting by the piano. Josie is trying to learn hope a song (even though hope sucks at playing piano)

They both look up at the same time seeing their girlfriends (softly smiling at them from the door opening, wondering how they got so lucky)

[blookmallow]

some observations about suspiria mostly about set design/symbolism. lots of me rambling about colors

im probably looking too far into things w/ a lot of this i just like speculating. this ended up being like an entire fuckign essay i am sorry this is so much :’ )

- WATER KEEPS SHOWING UP as i mentioned before and i am nOT sure why,

the film begins and ends with massive amounts of rain

madam markos supposedly died in a fire, fire is the opposite of water

we also see this shot at the end where suzy escapes into the rain while the witches are being burnt up inside

my guess is just. the usage of water/fire bc water is a cold, purifying substance; water cleanses, washes away, puts out flame, while fire is destructive, produces smoke, kills

but then we also have these little demon things spitting out water and the building itself soaked in water too

so i think theres a lil bit of water as distortion/blurred senses/confused perception / water as mystical as well as water as purifying/cleansing 

- blood. horror films do tons of things with blood but whenever blood shows up in suspiria it tends to be like.... very, very bright, which draws your attention strongly to it and gives it a kind of otherworldly sense - might just be an aesthetic thing, or like. how people say witnessing horrific violence in real life feels surreal and impossible so they’ve accentuated it here to heighten that feeling

the distortion of visuals/sound/etc tends to get the most intense/the highest level of surreal dreamstate feeling when something mysterious/something violent/something otherworldly is happening so that might be related 

- shifting perspectives- a lot of the time when someone was afraid or the music was doing the Danger thing the camera angle would suddenly move and swoop around like a ghost which. again i dont know if that Means Something or is just an aesthetic thing but for me it gave the impression that something was watching them/something unseen was present in the space and it was a rly neat thing

- sound becomes Very Loud and chaotic and overwhelming when characters are scared; really good use of sound to create anxiety, i also could never quite tell whether the characters could hear the sounds or not (there was one instance where sara heard something and was looking around fearfully, i heard the raspy singing/loud theme music thing going on but then she reveals she heard snoring which was lost under the soundtrack so i didnt hear that. so its sort of implying when that sound happens she’s hearing something but not the same thing im hearing)

the main theme plays over and over and over so it gets stuck in your head, im guessing maybe that theme is supposed to signify magic/the witches/Weird Shit is Happening/Someone’s Gonna Die like. the jaws theme/the halloween theme/etc but this one seemed particularly. persistent to the point that its kinda making my head spin at this point 

though repetitive sound/melodies also heightens anxiety and the whole fever dream aesthetic too 

- pink, red, blue, and white. color is huge in this film but i cant tell if any particular color is supposed to have any particular significance (theres also a lot of green and yellow but i didnt notice anything significant enough to connect those to) 

the outside of the building itself is red (except in one shot it looked suddenly really pink, i think that was right before the dog attack??) red usually symbolizes blood, violence, rage, sometimes passion, etc 

i ended up with a ton of shots of this hallway just bc its.....so good,

the “red room” was where suzy was told to go practice (i dont remember it actually ever being shown though? unless i just forgot or it wasnt actually colored red), the stern teacher lady was shown in a mirror with a red wall behind her and like. red showing up behind her happened a lot (they all turn out to be witches so im not sure why it was specifically her) (coulda been to make the audience suspect her In Particular when in reality its all of them)

the girls are all dressed in white, which usually symbolizes innocence and/or purity- they become drenched in red/pink when they die (suzy also threw a blanket over the bat before she killed it, im not sure if the blanket was white or pink bc of lighting but red seeped through it from the dead bat) 

there’s also the white sheets in the temporary dorm hall that suddenly turn red when the lights go out 

white seems to be a kind of canvas for other colors to be shown against 

pink shows up a lot but i couldnt quite figure that one out, mostly red/blue seemed to be the main colors playing against the white 

im not sure what building this was but this was where i noticed Pink kept happening 

water washing away red 

im not sure what this was?? because i thought it was wine but. the color and consistency was super weird when she poured it out 

n then sara goes out into the hallway, which is flooded with red light that seems to follow her as she leaves

she becomes practically drowned in red just before her death

then we have this neat shot where she moves from the red hallway to the blue room and the shift in colors is projected onto her body because of the white dress

into complete blue light

the sound is also LOUD and frantic when she’s in red light, and the sudden cut to blue here also completely cuts the sound to total silence; i noticed red/LOUD, blue/silence happened several times after that (maybe it also was before, i didnt notice)

every time she smashes a window there’s a sudden violent flash of red light that illuminates her (red could also = pain and mental distress) 

im not sure what blue signifies though, blue in contrast to red is cool and pleasing, comforting, calm, but this place isn’t safe or comforting nor does she feel calm or safe in this moment so i have. no idea 

the window above her appears pink or maybe light purple, it looks like a way out but ends up being the window to her death so maybe the mixture of red/blue danger/safety could be there but. again i dont think blue = safe either

i noticed death-via-window happening a lot too

but like. this side is also blue. so. i have No Idea

blue and red blending together over white after the bat scene

leaving a still/quiet/blue room to go into the red/chaotic noise (i think the sound started at the exact same moment the light became visible too)

red and blue seem to be at war with each other over the set after this point 

red hallway with blue stained glass panes (and there was a lightning flash here too that flooded the room with blue light for a second)

this time the still/quiet room has red glow in it, the first color we see in the mystery door into the witches’ chamber is blue (and it was the blue iris that opened it) 

flashing red and blue on the witches themselves, i took screenshots so id remember what i was gonna say but now i forget if it was rapidly flashing between colors or if there was specifically a blue flash when she drank from the cup 

escaping into rain but surrounded in red 

i dunno. im not a film major im just a person who likes movies and colors :’) i could be totally off on all of this, maybe none of it means anything and its all just aesthetics, maybe it does mean something and i missed it entirely, i hav no idea but. anyway. there’s my accidental 15 page essay on suspiria and colors thank u goodnight