#bc now i barely get shifts at work and i dont have the time to have a second job rn and there are Too Many Things

[ganondoodle]

(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)

apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this

i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either

are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all

something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)

given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??

are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )

(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)

[lakeysworld]

coming back here just to rant 😝

[mariahcarreyyy]

Yes pls for the unconscious tits touching. Lando’d always do it, it’s like a Pavlovian reflex. He sees or feels her tits and has to touch them like they’re his stress balls. I bet it would feel amazing after a long day in a bra ugh. Can u imagine him doing it on stream? Like not fully kneading under the top but maybe when she sits at his lap he circles her chest with his arm and his palm sits on her breast perfectly and chat is like „should we be seeing this???”

unedited n i wrote this with my eyes barely open i just needed to get this out of my head before i slept🙈🫶 suggestive nsfw 18+ work below beware⬇️⬇️

ugh i can just imagine wearing looser, thinner shirts so that lando could have easier access to your tits. he'd notice of course, silently thanking you by touching, sqeezing, n kneading ur tits more often (& rougher ;)). at first, you'd thought he was just horny every time he did it. but then, after he'd lightly pushed you off his lap, nuzzled into your side, n rested his hand on ur tit (and massaging it occasionally), you'd realized that lando just likes doing it.

he likes it all-- feeling the soft flesh beneath his finger tips, the stutter of your breath whenever he brushes over your nipple, squeezing it roughly and projecting his frustration and stress onto it. all. of. it. and then one day his pr manager tells him to stream bcs its 'good for media' or whatever the fuck. but hes so tired from his training earlier and all he wants is to wrap an arm around your frame n make u writhe from his hands on ur tits.

but he cant, so he settles for the next best thing: sitting you on his lap on camera. now, i dont really think lando would do it intentionally either. somewhere between him gaming and him chatting with his mates, landos hand make a home on your chest. its only resting there, but the newfound pressure on your tits is enough to have you blushing furiously on camera.

your eyes dart to the screen in front of you, biting your lip anxiously as the chat ineveitibly started flooding in with 'i think they forgot they were streaming's and 'should we leave..?'s. lando, noticing your shift in demeanor weirdly quick, sqeezing ur tit lightly as if to say, hey, whats wrong. because, of course lando doesnt realize he's kneading your tits in front of an audience. and ofcourse he begins mouthing at the nape of your neck.

and ofcourse, you're not-so-suddenly viral on twitter.

[aphiewrites]

Pairing: season 1!Viktor x gender neutral!reader

Warnings: literally just fluff, being asked out lmao, first time writing, no mentions of y/n, not proofread,

Word count: idk

a/n: y’all i used to write fanfics, but i haven’t in sOOOOOO long. I literally apologize, on my knees, begging, if like this is bad. i wanted to pick up writing again bc arcane has just inspired me especially viktor if u know what i mean. ahaha. pls dont criticize me so harshly i will cry and stop writing but advise is appreciated. also grammar might be bad, its like a weakness for me cus english is my second language. anyways bye love u whoever reads this.

The clacking of your shoes echoes through the academy halls. The lights in the hallway barely emit a soft light in these dark hours. A guard stands at the end of the hallway, quietly dozing off and then catching himself awake when his head nods. He finally notices you with a box in your hands, a box filled with trinkets such as gears, screws, and jagged handmade parts of machinery. He nods at you, passing him with a quick smile as you make a left to looming doors of the laboratory.

You quietly open the door, using your elbow to turn the long door handle. You push the door open with your foot and smoothly slide in. You nudge the door close with your foot aback and adjust your hold with the wooden box as to not drop anything. The laboratory is glowing a blue hue from the hexcore being mended on. There in the middle of the lab, you notice Viktor. Slouched and focused on the magical machinery, his arms twisting and turning to control the robotic arms that interacts with the hexcore. His hair is ruffled from the goggles that is on his face and from the frustration that he runs through his hair with his hands.

You slowly make your way over to his position, cautious of the laboratory environment as to not cause an incident. “Viktor, I brought your order of supplies,” you speak softly.

Viktor jolts from his focus and immediately lets go of the controls. He pulls back the goggles and turns to you, “ah! You can set that down anywhere. I hope you didn’t find much trouble getting those,” he speaks kindly, his accent smooth and alluring.

You set the box down on the table in the middle of the laboratory and you pause for a moment. You can’t help but smile at him, his face has marks from the goggles resting too long on his face, and his hair is just a giant jumbled mess. You walk over to him, reaching out to the top of his head to readjust the goggles and to fix the folded parts of hair.

Viktor gives you a flustered look but doesn’t say much of it and lets you adjust his look.

“I managed to haggle the price for most of the parts,” you gleefully share to him.

“That is good,” he says, continuing to watch you closely as you clean up a few more pieces.

You retreat back and put your hands behind, “I did have trouble finding one part, I had to check three different shops before I found one that had it available.”

“I could’ve done it myself, but thank you for going through that trouble for me,” he says with a gentle smile.

You chuckle, “I’m happy to help around, Viktor. It keeps me busy instead of waiting around in an office to stamp papers.” Viktor and you share a light laugh. “Oh, before I forget…” You dip your hands into the pocket of your coat and place down the change you obtained from haggling beside him on the desk. “I would’ve dropped it off earlier, but I got caught up on the stamping and I’d figured you’d still be here,” you ramble.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

There’s a pause in the conversation. You didn’t notice how loud the hexcore hums until this silence. The silence is edging the line of awkward and comfortable silence until you cut in quick.

“So… Are you planning on clocking out soon?” Your eyes shift to the side as you question.

“There is still much work to do.” His head lowers, eyes looking down on his hands that are nervously soothing each finger.

“I don’t want to sound like Jayce right now, but I think you should take a break and come back to this in the morning.”

He sighs, “I am well aware,” he runs his hand through the back of his head, his other arm leaning on his knee, and his leg is now bouncing.

“Come on, you will have more space in that brain of yours to think once you’ve rested,” you outreach a hand.

“Fatigue is not the issue, it is you taking up more space in my head.”

You freeze in your place, dumbfounded. You aren’t sure if you heard that right, but you aren’t sure if he means it in the way you think. Does he despise your presence? Does he want you to leave so he can work more? Or does he find some sort of affection towards you?

He finally looks up at you to analyze your reaction, arms resting at his knees.

He must’ve realized your confusion on your face but he speaks up again, “Will you have dinner with me?”

You, never in a million years, would expect Viktor to make such a bold move on you. Your face is burning and heart is beating like a large drum inside of you.

“Um… Isn’t it a little late for dinner, Vik?” You awkwardly state. “Besides… I should probably sleep soon… and you too…”

Yours and Viktor’s face turn to shock from what you just said. You immediately curse yourself in the inside, it sounded more like a way to kindly reject him, but you swear to yourself it was out of concern for the man to rest as well instead of ruining his sleep schedule more.

Viktor straightens himself in the chair, trying to compose himself, “ah, yes. I’m sorry to bother you with nonsense—“

“No! no, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that to come off as a rejection.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Is it not?”

“No! I would love to have dinner with you! I was just saying you should rest, you’ve been working all day.” Did it get even more hot in this room? You think. Your face is burning even more than before and it feels like a sweat is about to drop from your forehead.

Viktor picks up his cane from the side of the desk and stands up.

Oh god. He’s coming over.

He stands right in front of you, looming. Bodies close, not touching, but you swear you can feel the warmth radiate off of him. The scent of his cologne fills your nose due to the close proximity. You can see the overconfidence that has kicked into him and you wish you could melt right at this second. He just stares at you for a while without saying anything. A smile creeping up on his face and it almost scares you because what else is going to come out from that mouth that’s going to send you into a frenzy?

“Well, perhaps I will rest tonight to keep your brain from worrying, and maybe a date tomorrow?” He slyly asks.

You blink a few times before gaining the composure to respond, “Are you sure you don’t want to stay cooped up in this lab tomorrow?” You snarkily remark.

“Jayce will do the work.” He grins.

“A date it is then,” you smile back.

“I’m glad,” he brushes off a piece of dust from your cheek then backs up. “I will head out now then, goodnight.” He says as he slowly walks towards the door.

“Wait a minute, have you eaten at all tonight?” You turn to him.

He stops halfway to the door, awkwardly as if he was caught stealing something, “No, but I was going to head to a little shop to pickup a meal,” he gives an innocent honest, almost goofy, smile.

You roll your eyes playfully, “Let’s go together then,” you catch up to him and follow him through the door.

———

“So, if we’re eating dinner right now, does that mean there will be no date tomorrow?” Viktor asks, half a sandwich in hand.

“Dinner, we rest, then date, okay?” You smirk.

He grins, “Okay, good.”

[moonstruckme]

happy new year lovie!!!! i feel bad for requesting this bc just thinking ab the volume of ur inbox is a little overwhelming and ive gone a bit overboard 😭

but..... bodyguard!james finds out his mum is quite sick right before his shift one day and leaves to take care of her after letting reader know. he has to take the week off and reader is visiting and bringing them their favorite homecooked meals everyday (which she has memorised bc, bless him, james loves to talk abt his mum) and james is LOVEEESTRUCK. she's there, bright and early every morning (with a different bodyguard bc god forbid she leaves the house with no protection right in front of james' own two eyes!!!) with muffins and flowers and bags of food in hand :( james is enamored and so sweet on her!!!!! and reader is obsessing over how vulnerable and emotionally in tune james is at a time like this!!!!! i'm thinking maybe confessions are getting pretty hard to hold back by the end of the week ☹️🩷

thank you! (if you do decide to write this or if you dont for letting me ramble on in your asks x)

Don't feel bad my love! Thank you for requesting :)

cw: sick family member

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.3k words

No matter how many times James has visited home throughout his adult life, he always manages to discover something he’s forgotten about living there. Like how particular his mum is about the way the dish towel is folded, or which drawer the scissors are kept in, or the ungodly amount of door-to-door salesmen that come by on a daily basis. 

Lately, he’s being plagued by the last. He recalls them being vaguely annoying when he was younger, but James’ family is currently going through a difficult time that leaves one with somewhat frayed nerves. He very nearly snapped at a particularly tenacious primary school student selling chocolate yesterday. Not one of his finer moments. 

So when the doorbell rings while his mum is trying to sleep down the hall, James has to make an effort to reel his wrath back in before he’s even answered it. 

Funnily enough, any negative emotion completely evaporates when he sees you on the front steps. 

“Hi,” you say, looking apprehensive. 

“Hi,” James echoes. He opens the door the rest of the way, nodding to the fill-in guard you’ve brought with you. “Hey, Singh.”

Singh nods in return. 

“I hope it’s alright that I just came by.” You give him a sheepish sort of smile. “I didn’t even realize I don’t have your phone number until now. You’re always just…there.” 

James laughs, the mood that’s descended over him since getting the call about his mum lifting slightly. “Yeah, I suppose I am. What brings you out, sweetheart?” 

You hoist the bags you’re carrying a bit higher in your arms. “I brought some stuff for you and your mom, if that’s okay.” 

A tiny hand fists around his heart, squeezing pleasantly. “Course it is,” he all but coos. “Come on in. Singh, you alright to stay here and keep watch?” 

Luckily, the other man doesn’t think to remember that James is currently on leave, and so defers to him with a curt nod. James shoots him a smile as you come inside, closing the door behind you. 

“They put Singh on day shift?” he asks, taking one of the bags from you and leading you into the kitchen. “He’s barely finished training.” 

“He seems fine,” you say in your good-natured way. 

“He took you to a location that’s never been reconned without even bringing another guard to post outside.” 

“It’s your mom’s house, Jamie.” The smile is evident in your voice, sweeter even than the smell wafting out of these bags. God, he’s missed you. “I doubt he suspects either of you are going to try and hurt me.” 

“He should be prepared for the possibility,” James says, but he can’t manage to work any menace into his tone even to tease you. You tilt your head at him, mouth curving up to one side like you’re well acquainted with his particular brand of silliness, and he lets his grievances go instantly. “You didn’t have to bring us anything, angel face.” 

You flush a bit at the endearment, directing a soft smile down at his family’s old wooden table (which is great, because now James is in the position of being jealous of a table). “I wanted to do something,” you reply simply. “How’s your mom?” 

“She’s alright.” Not great. Not worse, which is always good. If the only thing he accomplishes in a day is that she doesn’t get worse, James can feel good about that. “She’s sleeping in this morning.” 

“Oh, shit.” Your voice drops to a hush like the breeze blowing through leaves. “I haven’t woken her, have I?” 

James grins. “No, you’re good. She can sleep through anything.” 

You lose a breath. “Right, well I brought some meals to last you a few days,” you say, digging some containers out of the bag. “It can all be heated up whenever you’re ready to eat, and—oh, also some flowers. I know it’s stupid, but I thought they might brighten things up for you two.” James doesn’t think it’s stupid at all, but you go on before he can tell you so. “Can I put these in your freezer? I brought some muffins for this morning too, if you want them.” 

“Yeah,” James says, the word leaving him on a breath. “I mean, yeah to both. Thank you.” He grabs several of the containers as well, showing you to the freezer. You both start cramming them in between things, wherever they’ll fit. He takes note of the food as it goes in, a heady warmth growing in his chest. “Did you make all of this?” 

You hum in brisk affirmation. “I had plenty of time on my hands yesterday. Turns out things are pretty boring without you around.” 

“How’d you know what to make? This is all—these are our favorites.” 

You turn to him, a tenderhearted sort of smile curving your lips. “You talk about your mom a lot, Jamie,” you say. “I know all her favorites by now. And the things she’d make that were your favorites, too.” 

James hadn’t realized he’d spent so much time rambling about his mum. It hurts his chest a bit to think of it now, worse to think that you’d been listening so intently. 

“This is only really enough to get you through a few days,” you go on, oblivious to his yearning, “but I figured I’d come back with more if you’re both alright with it.” You look at him as you pack the last of the food away, your gaze careful. “I don’t want to intrude or anything.” 

“You could never intrude.” James isn’t sure how he gets the words out, his heart ballooning until it’s nearly cutting off his airflow. The cool air breezing onto one side of his face stops, and he realizes you’ve shut the freezer. “This is just…so, so kind of you. I don’t know what to say.” 

“James.” Your voice is soft. Your smile has faded, and now you look at him with an unabashed, steady kindness. “You don’t have to say anything. I can’t stand the thought of you and your mom going through this. I wanted to help, somehow.” One of your shoulders comes up in a sheepish half-shrug. “Even if it’s really small.” 

He wraps his arms around your shoulders, and you hesitate only a second before bringing your arms around him too. You squeeze him tight. James lets himself relish the feel of it, lovelorn. “It’s not small,” he says fervently. “It really…it means a lot, sweetheart.” 

You only squeeze tighter in response. When he lets you go, your gaze is sad. Worried. You ask without prelude, “Are you doing okay?” 

James gives you a half-smile. The truth of it. “Yeah, we’re alright over here. It’s hard to see her like this, but I think everything’s going to be okay.” You nod, solemn in your understanding. “Sounds like I might be doing better than you, actually, if your company’s bad enough that you’re entertaining yourself in the kitchen all day.” 

You crack a smile at that, and James’ heart lightens. “Yeah, Singh’s no you. He doesn’t seem to like to chat.” 

“Ahh, so that’s why you’ve really come out here, yeah? You just missed me.” 

“You’ve caught me.” 

It’s said like a joke, but James’ pride inflates foolishly nonetheless. “I hate that I can’t be there,” he says. “Especially now that I know they’ve put Singh on my shift.” 

“He’s not so bad,” you laugh, heading towards the table. You fold up the bags. “Anyway, it’s more important that you’re here. And I’ll be back in a couple days to restock you.” 

James fixes you with a look as you start for the door. “You really don’t have to.” 

“I’m going to,” you say breezily. “Don’t forget to put the flowers in water, and the muffins are strawberry chocolate chip.” He grins. His mum’s favorite. “I’ll tell Singh you were raving about him.” 

“Oh, please do.” He rolls his eyes, feeling lighter than he has in days. “Thanks, angel.” 

You shoot him a smile worthy of the moniker as you go out the door. “See you in a couple days, Jamie.”

[kurokmask]

work is slow after the holidys so ive spent my shifts coming up w a thee terror coffee shop au LMFAOOOOO these here are the uniforms!

general au information under the cut: (keep in mind this is 80% a joke)

takes place in northern Canada, modern day

bougie, expensive ass coffee. very tacky nautical theming. better than starbucks, but not worth 7.50 CAD for a medium black coffee

customer base is mostly pretentious white ppl that dont mind spending money on overpriced shit. many regulars formed personal relationships with Franklin when he first opened the cafe

FRANKLIN: store owner. created Terrebus Coffee after leaving the navy in 2008. DIES. turns out the cafe was in extreme debt and was barely making a profit the entire time it was open, and was in the red by the time he died. hid how bad everything was from the staff (crozier and fitzjames knew some stuff, but not everything)

CROZIER: 51. store manager who was (shockingly) promoted to store owner in Franklin's death. uncovers the true state of the cafe. been in coffee since the 90's. has worked at terrebus for 7 years. (sophy got him the job!) stressedddd. whiskey in his (3 sugar) black coffee. trans man who transitioned after leaving the navy in in 2001. lets his employees yell at rude customers.

FITZJAMES: 35. family friend of the Franklins. in marketing. token cafe transfem who's keeping the fckin shit locked DOWNNN (started transitioning 2 years earlier). was hired as a co-store manager without Crozier's knowledge, despite having limited experience actually managing a real cafe. you can image how he reacted.

HICKEY: barista. takes smoke breaks every 30 minutes. always has to do drains/floors. ends up getting loudly fired by Crozier in front of everyone and spends the rest of his time trying to bring the business down. totally sets up a rival coffee van in the parking lot that's just him and a keurig

SILNA: goes there bc she doesn't know anyone there, and she can get her work done. most the time she brings her own food and uses their hot water to brew her own tea bc shes not paying all that money. she ends up befriending goodsir and crozier who give her free stuff all the time.

TOZER AND GIBSON: Hickey's inner polycule feeding him insider information/executing his plans of sabotage

SOPHIA: Crozier's ex girlfriend that he's still whipped for. they dated on n off in the 2010's, before she broke up w him for good in 2018. they just went different places in their careers. as said before, got him the job w franklin as her last favor to him. currently working her 2nd PHD. moves back to deal with Franklin's death; Crozier tries to start things back up with her. he wants her to wait for him to leave, he'll do it this time, he swears-- "i don't wait for anyone, anymore, francis."

SHIFT LEADS: Little, Jirving, Hodge, Gore (quits early on), Dundy, Blanky (immediately promoted by Crozier), Jopson (promoted by Crozier, later)

BARISTAS: Hickey (eventually fired), Gibson, Collins, Tozer, Goodsir, Peglar, Hartnell, your favorite white boy i didn't mention but don't worry he's definitely here

REGULARS: Silna, Bridgens, Stanley (always orders an extra dry cappuccino and complains every single time that its not dry enough even though its already 90% foam and its a fucknig rush and he INSISTS on it being remade sorry maybe im projecting) other white boys you want there

ASSORTED PLOT DETAILS:

show "deaths" are now firings/quitting/injuries/ect.

before franklin died, he and crozier got in a huge fight, where crozier threatened to quit. (he did this often, but this time franklin sounded serious about holding him to that.) fitzjames, dundy, hickey, and jopson overheard.

fitzjames got the job after getting let go (gasp) from a cushy marketing job and needed something to fill space while she looked for a second job... how's that going, jamie?

the cafe grew a reputation as being hostile/unfriendly after franklin's death bc crozier was not afraid to yell at customers/kick people out for being rude. turned off amny previous regulars. this infuriates fitzjames "you're ruining our reputation!" "i don't care about the opinions of people who'd pay 7.50 for dishwater."

when crozier goes on leave for treatment, fitzjames becomes store manager

bottle episode where the closing crew get snowed in overnight. hickey is there and he has a knife

franklin never knew crozier was trans. he had known fitzjames for many years before she transitioned and in typical boomer fashion misgendered her frequently bc he's known her "so long". bc she didn't want to upset him she'd stopped correcting him. this bothered crozier a lot

peglar and bridgens have a 2015 tumblr barista/customer slowburn romance in the background as the cafe falls apart

tuunbaq is silna's giant white husky, ofc

goodsir discovers their coffee distributor is the cheapest on the market and has had several lawsuits about contamination problems and probably has lots of carcinogens. he brings this up w crozier who tells him if they were to switch distributors he would be forced to layoff staff, and since no one has complained he wasn't going to do anything abt it. lol.

this is the terror so this story is a tragedy. the store is not saved. hickey probably burns it down. crozier repatriates the money left to the local community n spends the rest of his life doing community service or something

ok thanks for reading this wall of text. im crazy. ask me questions pls

[princessbrunette]

boarding school by ldr is sooo rafe 💗

kook!reader who just moved back to the obx after her parents moved bc of work, not remembering the Camerons too well but all of her friends are like “rafe this, rafe that..” so ofc she has to see what the hypes all about !!

but!!! getting sososoo disappointed when she’s at a party and he’s all pissy and rude to everyone ! rafe is all heart eyes for her, but she keeps shrugging him off 🙈🫶🏽

cute! 🌸

just watching him in action, seeing the way he interacts with others was enough for you. you’d come to this party to sit back and observe, figure out what all the hype was about — but it seemed all the buzz had been generated over just another stuck up Kook. it was guys like him that gave you all a bad name.

he was rude, not just to guys but to girls too— shrugging them off and sipping his drink when they tried to make a move. it was odd, really. he was gorgeous, you had to admit. but his personality was less than favourable, and your curiosity quickly faded, deciding to just enjoy your night with your friends instead.

you felt his presence next to you before you saw him, saw the colour of his shirt in your peripheral vision looming over you as you pour yourself another drink at the drinks table, eyes lasered in on the red solo cup in your hand making sure not to spill any liquor from the bottle. you mentally prepare yourself to remain composed and dignified, waiting for him to tell you to get the hell out of his way like he did the last person who dared stand where he wanted to stand.

“hi.” he calls over the music instead. you think you must have misheard him, so you ignore it all together. but he leans forward and speaks again. “i feel like i know you from somewhere.”

you turn and look up at him, heart thumping a little and he’s smiling. years are taken off his face when he grins, maybe that’s why he doesn’t do it much— less manly and more boyish. it’s almost sweet, and you would have probably fell for it if you hadn’t been watching him earlier.

“me?” you ask, all wide eyed and it makes him chuckle, nodding. god, he really had an intense stare— like seriously, his eyes haven’t moved from your face since the beginning of this interaction.

“yeah. you.” he surveys you for a moment. “what are you drinking?”

you ignore his question and raise an eyebrow, observing him right back. “you said you know me from somewhere?”

he shifts on his feet, eager and almost skittish like he wants to reach out and touch you or something. rafe briefly stuffs his hands in his pockets instead, so different from the guy you’d been watching all night to the point where you were starting to wonder if he had a twin.

“well yeah. ‘remember faces, y’know?” his lightly brings his finger to his temple in gesture. “uh i— aha,” he cuts himself off with a chuckle, leaning in a little. “i don’t forget the pretty ones.”

you panic a little, because well — it’s rafe cameron, coming onto you, and quite frankly he scares you. so you stare up at him a little dumbly, bottom lip tucked between your teeth before clasping your cup in both hands nervously.

“i dont — i uh— have to go back to my friends now.” you’re meek and it pains you, but you scurry off anyway, barely glancing back. you’d think that would have totally weirded him out, and hoped maybe it was enough to get him to leave you alone — but you couldn’t be more wrong, if anything he was encouraged.

you were constantly reminded of his poor treatment towards others because he stayed near you the whole night, mouthing off about pogues or telling randoms to ‘get the fuck out of his way’ all whilst following you around like a dumb, lovesick puppy. you ignored him at best, brushed him off when he gently took your arm and offered to join a game of suck and blow with you, or even beer pong. each time you rejected him, the more determined he was.

a while later, he gently grabs your arm again and you sigh loudly — sick of his chasing.

“hey i— i just wanna get to know you, a’ight? i’m not a bad guy.” his eyes are a little wide, watery from drinks and whatever else. it rings alarm bells in your head but you stare up at him regardless. maybe it was the drink that had you moving slower.

“you… you are a bad guy! you’re not nice!” it comes out childishly and you hate that for you, even pouting in frustration which makes the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. he thought you were the cutest thing ever, and he had to have you.

“so you’re tellin’ me… all i gotta do is start treating these nobodies nice and you’ll give me a chance?” he raises his eyebrows, ducking his head a little hopefully. you wanna slap him, tell him no and that you see through his little act. but… there’s something charming about him. something that’s drawing you in. what was it about rafe cameron that had everyone up in arms?

“its… definitely a start.” you cross your arms over yourself, sulking. he huffs out a relieved smile, running his fingers over his chin as he stares off, nodding.

“yeah i… i can do that.” he agrees and you stare at him expectedly, putting your wall back up.

“okay… are we done now? can i enjoy my night?” you sass, and he nods, holding his arm out to gesture to the doorway to the room everyone else was in.

“after you.” he drawls, watching you pass him. his eyes don’t leave the back of you, deadset on winning you over— and rafe always gets what he wants.

[212-apricity]

1999, part four - final part!

oh my gosh. final part and what a surprise, she's a long one again💀💀ive loved writing this silly little series so so much and i love all of you very very much🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽please give me requests on what to write next bc my mind is completely blank rn, all i can think of is the cold war and bolsheviks from my history revison and i dont think they would make v good fics🤡��

lmk what you think of this part and your fav moments, enjoy!!

warnings: tiny angst, mostly fluff, swearing

conrad fisher masterlist

masterlist

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conrad’s pov

Since Y/n is unable to hold a phone herself, I'm tasked with a lot, but I didn't fully realize the worry of her family until she had me working through each task with her.

No wonder she’s overwhelmed. The number of texts from Laurel, Mom, Belly, Jere and Steven she has to sift through in a given hour would drive anyone insane.

Or maybe I'm just going crazy by sitting this close to her. The smell of her coconut soap is permanently ingrained into my memory as she sits flush against me, pointing at different texts with her uninjured hand.

I can tell her nerves grow stronger as the Uber near the hospital.

Her knees bounce up and down as she dictates message after message I need to send, confusing me more and more with every word.

The work doesn't stop there. After we check in, a nurse hands us a clipboard filled with pages of information that need to be filled out. Y/n stares at it like it might catch on fire at any moment.

"Here." I pass it to her.

Her eyes shift toward the exit. "Will you help me please? I can't write like this." Her voice drops to a barely audible whisper.

"Okay. Tell me your answers and I'll write them down."

Her throat bobs as she scans the first line. It takes her far longer than necessary to read the first question.

"Do you mind reading the questions aloud for me? I'm too stressed to concentrate right now." Her overcompensating smile irritates me.

"Are you sure? Some of the questions are probably personal."

Don't be a dick. Just do what she says.

"I don't care.”

The rigid way she sits in her chair says the complete opposite.

She seems to be one minute away from breaking down, so I concede. I sigh as I grab the pen and get started on the first question. The paperwork doesn't take us as long as I anticipated, so Y/n and I sit together in silence. She stares at the exit longingly.

The way her eyes dart around the room as she gnaws on her bottom lip makes me feel merciful enough to save her from the anxiety eating her up inside.

“If it's any consolation, I hate hospitals too."

Her head swings toward the direction of my voice.

"Yeah?"

I nod. "Haven't been to one since…"

"I know." she says as she sees my chest heaves as I remember the millions of times we’ve been here before.

I keep my eyes focused on the soundless television playing in one corner.

Her good hand clasps onto mine and gives it a squeeze. I'm grateful she understands me enough not to ask any other questions. The idea of offering another raw part of myself feels like a betrayal of the years I've spent carefully developing a certain kind of persona.

"I hate them too." Her voice cracks.

"Why?"

She stares down at her swollen hand. “My dad…” She pauses, and I give her hand a reassuring squeeze like she gave me. "Let's just say mom ended up in the ER a couple of times for being clumsy."

I take a deep breath to stave off the anger bubbling beneath the surface. "And did you have issues with being clumsy?" If she says yes, I swear to God two men will end up floating in the Chicago River tonight.

She shakes her head rather aggressively. "No. No." My rapid heart rate can be heard through my ears. "If you were, you can tell me." While I can't promise I won't do anything about it, I can promise to make him hurt. A lot. With sulfuric acid or something, those pre-med studies are starting to come in handy now.

The overwhelming sense of protectiveness hits me hard, and I don't shy away from it. There is nothing I hate more than men who use their fists against innocent women and children.

"It never got to that point. Suze made sure of it." she says with a small smile.

"How?"

"She caught onto the signs and interfered before things got bad. Used her savings from my grandpa's life insurance policy to help Mom get a divorce and start a new life." A tear slips down her face, and I can't stand the sight of it.

I brush it away with the pad of my thumb, but the damp trail still lingers. A driving force inside of me wants to erase the sad look on her face. "Did her plan also happen to include a jug of sulfuric acid?"

She forces out a laugh. "I think concrete shoes were more in style back then."

I fake shudder. "Remind me to never make mom angry again."

"Forget her, you'd have to deal with me." She holds up her injured hand like a war trophy.

"I'm absolutely terrified."

"Miss Y/n?" a nurse calls out.

Y/n doesn't move at the sound of her name.

"That's you." I place my hand on her thigh and give it a squeeze.

She sucks in a deep breath as she stares down at my hand.

Her chair nearly tumbles behind her as she bolts out of the seat, throwing her one good hand up in the air. "I'm here!"

The nurse leads us through the emergency room bay.

Individual beds line the wall, each area divided by a paper curtain.

The empty bed meant for Y/n is unacceptable. Between the person retching behind one partition and the individual on the other side hacking up their lung, I refuse to let her be seen here.

"I'd like my…my friend, to be taken care of in a private suite," I speak up. I know I sound snotty right now but honestly, I’ll be damned if I let her already horrible hospital experience get any worse.

The nurse grimaces as her gaze licks across my body. "This is a hospital. Not the Ritz. Take a seat and wait for the doctor like everyone else."

Y/n hops on the bed without any complaint, and I'm tempted to grab her and go elsewhere. The nurse doesn't seem the least bit bothered by all the noise happening around us as she checks Y/n’s vitals and asks some routine questions.

Y/n answers each one while chewing her bottom lip raw. This atmosphere couldn't put anyone at ease, least of all her.

The nurse hangs the clipboard at the foot of the bed, and I decide to try again.

"I'll pay whatever it takes to have her seen somewhere quieter. Money is no object."

The nurse only replies by shutting the paper curtain in my face.

Y/n laughs while I stare at the curtain, dumbfounded to be treated like this.

"You find this funny?"

She nods, her eyes alight for the first time all night. "Did you see her face when you said money is no object? I think if she didn't put the clipboard away, she would have slapped your face with it."

"It's not my fault she isn't accustomed to how things are done in the real world."

"Wake up baby. You're living in the real world." She waves around our room.

"It's terrifying." I say, looking away so she couldn’t see the blush that appeared on my face at the nickname.

"Come here. I'II make it better." Y/n pats the bed.

Doubtful, but I'm a glutton for giving her what she wants lately. Paper crinkles as I sit next to her. I take up most of the bed, giving her little room to get away from me. My thigh brushes against hers. She tries to scoot away, but there isn't enough space.

“Isn’t this cozy?" she quips.

I give her a small smile before she asks, “Hey! Let me see your tattoo.”

God I’d forgotten all about them. I move the collar of my shirt to show the two small ivy leaves we’d gotten. She gasps and gently touches my skin, “Oh my gosh it’s so pretty Connie.” she stares at it for a moment before I ask to see hers.

She lifts up her shirt on the side, exposing her ribcage and the two matching leaves.

“I can’t believe you agreed to get a Taylor Swift referenced tattoo with me Con.” she says as I admire the tattoo for a bit.

I smile until saying, “Hey I might be quiet and mopey but at least I have good taste in music.”

She softly smiles at me before eyeing the IV bag with horror before checking out the exit.

"What’s wrong?”

She leans closer to me and whispers, "Is now a bad time to admit I pass out whenever someone tries to stick a needle in me?"

My lips lift at the corners. I don't know why I find the idea hilarious, given her ability to watch eight consecutive hours of true crime documentaries without so much as flinching.

"You're afraid of needles?"

She sputters. "No. I'm not afraid. It just happens to be a bodily reaction I can't control."

“That's good then because the nurse needs to set you up with that IV when she comes back."

“No! Don't tell me that! I thought she was one of the good ones.”

I nod, pressing my lips together to prevent myself from laughing.

"She lied to me!" She bolts from the seat and would have tripped over her own heels if I didn't reach out and catch her.

*Careful." I place her back on the bed and decide to stand guard in case she gets any ideas to flee the scene.

Her eyes fit from me to the gap between two curtains, as if she is thinking how she can get past me.

"I'm joking.”

She scans my face for the truth before she slaps my shoulder with her good hand. "Asshole! I believed you!"

Laughter explodes out of me like a bomb, stunning her.

“Did you just laugh?”

"No."

“Yes." Someone calls out from the other side of the curtain.

“Now, do you mind shutting up? Some of us are trying to get some sleep over here after having our stomach pumped."

Fuck this place and the people in here. "We're leaving."

"Not so fast. You can't leave before I check you out." The doctor strolls in and points at the bed with his clipboard.

Y/n remains tight-lipped as the doctor checks her chart. He asks her some questions about how she got hurt, all while staring me up and down like I'm the person she was trying to injure. She is taken away for a few scans, and my breathing doesn't return to normal until the nurse brings her back.

That should be my first sign that things are getting out of hand on my end. I'm inching closer to an emotional minefield without any kind of map, only one wrong step away from exploding.

The doctor checks the scans. "It looks like you have a boxer's fracture."

Her face brightens. "That sounds badass."

I glare at her. "Calm down, Muhammad Ali. I wouldn't count today as a victory by any means."

The doctor's eyes lighten. "Next time, avoid any initial contact on the fourth and fifth knuckles."

"Please don't encourage her."

The doctor shakes his head with a laugh before giving Y/n a detailed set of instructions regarding the healing time. I'm skeptical about the whole visit and, given the setting, doubtful about the level of care. I'll be damned if Y/n sustains permanent injuries because of Dean. My chest tightens at the idea.

“Great Thanks, Doc!" She hops off the bed, but I hold my arm out, stopping her

"I’d like a second opinion." The command bursts out of me without any rhyme or reason. Deep down, I know a boxer's fracture isn't the worst thing that could have happened. But things aren't right in my head where Y/n is concerned. At least not anymore.

Both of the doctor's eyebrows arch. "For a small fracture?"

"Don't mind him. He tends to be a bit overbearing." She shoots me a look as if I'm the crazy one out of the two of us.

"Okay..." the doctor says.

Maybe I am losing it because why else would I care?

You hate it when she cries.

You wouldn't mind murdering someone who hurt her.

You took her to the hospital even though you despise them with every fibre of your being.

The signs all point to one thing: our situation is quickly crumbling, and I'm the only one to blame.

Y/n interrupts my thoughts. "I'll be sure to wear the brace for a few weeks and avoid any kind of activities that could aggravate the injury."

"Perfect. And don't forget to schedule a follow-up visit with your physician. "The doctor gives me one last look before handing Y/n the discharge paperwork. "Nice meeting you."

"Will you help me with this?" She holds out the clipboard with her left hand as the doctor leaves.

I grab it from her and fill it out.

She checks the time on her phone. "Well, at least that didn't take as long as I thought it would. I'm sure you're dying to get back home."

That's the scary thing. I didn't think about anything or anyone once during our entire time here because making sure she was taken care of was my only concern. I've spent the past seventeen years of my life thinking solely about my future, and all it took was one girl to make me completely forget about my responsibilities for a few hours.

As if that doesn't scare me enough, it only takes one glance at her makeshift brace to make my blood burn hot under my skin. I know exactly why her injury angers me more than anything else.

It's the same reason I feel the urge to push Jere away from her whenever he gets too close or the way I unexplainably need to see her whenever she is out of my sight for longer than a few hours.

You’re in love with her.

Fuck.

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y/n’s pov

We’re in an Uber on the way home, sitting in comfortable silence until Conrad breaks it.

“Why’d you get with Dean anyway?” My stomach doubles over.

Comfortable silence is so overrated.

I sigh. I’ve been dreading this question for ages now.

“I don’t know.” I answer vaguely.

Conrad gives me a puzzled look, “What do you mean you don't know? You must’ve had a reason.”

His restlessness gets me more agitated.

“I don’t know Conrad. I don’t know why I got with him, I don’t know why I was waiting on you for so long either.” I look out the window as the car stops in front of the house.

“What? What do you mean?” he says as I get out the car and speed up to the front door, taking the keys out of my pocket and refusing to carry on with this conversation anymore.

Conrad keeps yelling after me as he follows me upstairs to my room, both of us trying to ignore everyone else who joined Conrad and are trying to ask their own questions.

I slam my door shut and collapse on my bed hearing Conrad trying to calm everyone down and telling them everything that's happened until he asks them all to give me some space for now.

I cry in the silence as I hear everyone leaving from outside the door until it opens.

“Hey.”

Steven. Thank God.

“Steve…” I say sniffling.

He looks at me with a sad smile before sitting on the bed with me and taking me in his arms.

“Con told us everything,” he says after a few minutes of holding me, “did you really get a boxer's fracture?”

I laugh in tears before showing him my hand and saying, “You should see the other guy.”

Steven and I laugh together before going back to the silence as he hugs me.

“He really cares about you, you know.”

“No he doesn’t. He hates me. I yelled at him and now I’m crying here on my bed like an idiot.”

“Did he say anything to you?” Steven looks down at me.

I shake my head before saying, “He asked why I got with Dean.”

“Oh. That’s not too bad.”

“No it’s not.”

“Then why are you so upset?”

“Because I’ve been waiting for Conrad for so long and I’m just sick and tired of always being there to help him get over his breakups when he’d be so much better off with me. I know I sound selfish and none of my reasons are justified but I just thought that after everything we’ve been through together, he’d maybe like me just a little bit.”

Steven hugs me again and softly says, “He does.”

After that almost everyone but Conrad came in to check up on me and make sure I was okay, making me feel even more guilty about being all emotional like this. It’s not until Susannah’s holding me and whispering sweet nothings that my eyes start to feel heavy.

I think I fell asleep after that, I don’t remember much except waking up to the sun shining its very unwelcome face in my eyes.

I step out of my room after freshening up and I’m about to make my way to the kitchen for food until I’m stopped by something in the hallway.

Or should I say someone.

“Conrad,” I bend down and stroke his hair out of his face, “Conrad wake up.” I say gently.

He stirs for a minute before sitting up and taking my hands in his.

“Have you been out here all night?” I ask.

“Yes.” he says in a raspy voice.

God that voice would make my knees give out if I wasn’t already on the floor with him.

“Why?”

“I need to talk to you.”

I sigh before he interrupts me, “Listen, I heard everything you said to Steven last night and I know I shouldn’t have and I was eavesdropping but I’m sorry it was by accident. And I know I don’t deserve any more of your time…I’ve already wasted a lot of it but just hear me out for ten minutes.”

“No.” I try to get out of his grasp.

“Stop fighting and give me ten minutes.”

“No way.”

“Nine then.”

“Five.”

“Eight and a half.”

“Six.”

“Seven.”

I pause, knowing that he won’t let me go anywhere before I hear him out.

“You don’t deserve seven seconds, let alone seven minutes of my time.”

“How about seven words then?”

I laugh. “I’d like to see you try.”

“I am falling in love with you.”

I blink up at him. Either I am still sleeping or I must have not heard him correctly because there is no way Conrad Fisher just admitted that he is falling in love with me.

Absolutely no fucking way.

Right?

I squeeze my eyes shut as if that can erase the words from my memory.

"You're joking.

"I'm not."

"This is just another part of your game." I try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.

"It stopped being a game for me a long time ago."

"You're lying."

His brows pull together. "Ask me why I hate when people touch my bookshelf."

"Are you serious right now? What does that have to do with any of this?" I think back to his bookshelf he won’t let any of the others go near but loves to let me organise and re-organise each year.

"Because I did it for you."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I read somewhere online that organising objects like books and things is good for people with anxiety, because then they can feel in control of something and know exactly what to expect especially if things are the same as they've predicted all the time. You love reading too, so I changed it. Bought all the books you like to read so that you’d stay and read with me more often. I forced everyone else out of my room and especially away from that bookshelf. All because I wanted to help you."

Emotions clog my throat, preventing my ability to reply.

What can I possibly say that could compare to that?

Conrad doesn't give me an option as he continues. "Want to know why I kept this plant you got me?" he says pointing to the small green cactus with “Don’t be a prick” written on the pot that we could see looking into his room from the hallway.

I nod.

"Because it was the first time someone got me a present that made me laugh."

If hearts could melt into puddles, mine would be liquified right about now.

I take a deep breath.

Remember what he did.

“Con that doesn't change anything you still ignored me for a whole year. Every time I tried to call you or text you, you’d just leave me on read or decline, and now you’re telling me you love me? Who does that?"

"Someone who doesn't understand the first thing about loving someone, but is willing to try if you give me a chance."

"You want me to give you a chance after everything? Do you think I'm stupid?"

He winces, and a bit of my anger fades away at his vulnerability.

"Intelligence has nothing to do with this."

"Easy for you to say when you're not the one who feels like a fool."

"Really? Because based on your reaction today, I'm feeling pretty damn foolish for ever admitting that I'm falling in love with you." He gets up off the floor, leaving me feeling chilled to the bone.

"Con..." I reach out, but he takes a step back.

My eyes sting from his rejection. It hurts.

“I’m not asking you to love me back. I don't expect that and I'm not sure if I ever will because I'm the furthest thing for lovable. I'm selfish, and rude, and don't know the first thing about being in a proper relationship with someone. But that doesn't mean I’m not willing to try for you if you let me."

How am I supposed to be angry at him when he thinks he is unlovable?

A pain rips through my chest at the thought of him talking about himself this way.

I get up off the floor and walk straight into his chest. His arms quickly wrap themselves around my waist, holding me even tighter.

"Just because you make selfish choices doesn't mean you're a selfish person. At least not completely."

This boy had been there for Belly, Steven, me and Jere for years without any kind of payback, especially when Susannah was going through her cancer and despite feeling an immense amount of pain himself, he shoved all his emotions aside so that he could be there for us. For me. If that isn't a selfless sacrifice, I don't know what is.

"Your logic is half-baked at best."

"So is yours, seeing as you called yourself unlovable."

His body tenses. "I'm stating facts."

"I don't know what bullshit your father told you over the years, but it's not true. Your brother loves you."

"He’s obligated to."

"No one is obligated to love someone else. Blood or not."

He takes a deep breath. "You're right."

I smile up at him. "I could get used to hearing those words."

He reaches up and cups my cheek. "Give me a chance and I'll tell you them every single day."

I sigh and look away. "I don't know.”

"Tell me what's stopping you."

"You don't do relationships."

“Good thing our feelings lead us here rather than our minds, and mine are willing to try then."

I avoid his penetrating gaze. "What if my feelings are telling me to run?”

“It's cute you think you can outrun me, but I'll give you a head start just to make things interesting." he smiles down at me.

"Do you always have an answer for everything?"

"Not for the one that matters most." The way he looks at me stirs up something deep inside of me.

Longing. I want to give him a chance, regardless of the potential fallout.

You might get hurt.

I might, but I might miss out on something special because I’m too afraid of the what ifs. I'm done being that person. Even if it means getting hurt, I'd rather try and fail than never try at all.

I stand on the tips of my toes and press my lips against his.

He holds me tight against his chest, as if he is afraid of letting me go.

I pull away, only to clasp onto his chin. "This could be a disaster, but I'm willing to try."

He shuts me up by pushing his lips against mine, sealing our new deal. The way he kisses me is different than any time before. He cups my face with the palms of his hands as his lips mold against mine, teasing me until I feel dizzy. His thumb brushes across my cheek back and forth, and heat rushes down my spine straight to my belly. He makes me feel cherished. Protected.

Loved in a way that makes me never want to come back down to reality.

I could spend forever being kissed like this and still feel like it isn't enough. While Conrad might not be the best with words, his kiss says it all.

He is falling in love with me. And I’m falling in love with him. No translation necessary.

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ahh i cant believe its finished omg😔💔...

anyways, onto the next one😍🙏

again please lmk what you think of this and please give me requests on what to do next!!

[plasticfreckles]

late night thought about uncanney valley, extraterrestrial life (mostly mass effect aliens), monsterfuckery and all that

brought to you by the fermi paradox hypothesis that alien life may be so immensely different from human life that we'd never find each other bc we're looking for Humanoid Signs and the Inhabitants of HIP-413b are looking for HIP-413b'ian Signs

i watch star trek and i play mass effect and consume monster pornography and im like

they kinda sexy

but lets be real if I opened the door to go to work one day and Garrus Vakarian stood in front of me

best case, uncanney valley hits like bruh your cosplay so good, so screen accurate it actually freaks me out

worst case, i shit myself and vomit on the spot or just straight up die bc I'd be terrified

like sort of, the appeal is that they're inhuman, yeah, but also that they're not real?

bc im trying to imagine a creature that's easily taller than my room height, covered in some sort of biological, scale shield against radioactivity with its waist the circumference of my forearm and extremities the dimensions of... idk sth tall and skinny you get the idea

he could tell me there's no shepard without vakarian all he wants i will not survive that encounter and not even bc he'd kill me or I'd kill myself bc honestly

i dont think the human mind is equipped for that. The average human mind can barely comprehend that the number of ESTIMATED stars in the OBSERVABLE universe is this number: 10^24. TO THE POWER OF TWENTY-FOUR. I DON'T EVEN KNOW 24 PEOPLe. Like for all that math is what makes up the universe [or so I've been told. i have dysalculia, i wouldn't actually know] if Just Some Guy can't process that how tf would JSG process The Very Model Of A Scientist Salarian?*

We all played Andromeda and watched Jaal stalk down those stairs and went 🥵 but if this mountain of skin easily thrice my mass came stalking down stairs towards me?? REALISTICALLY??? Evfra could call off his snipers and get the cleanup crew bc i died right there and evacuated every last of my orifices thankyouu.**

[angara [AND KETT HOLY SHIT] only get worse when u think about their origins but since I'm passed on before anyone even speaks it's not conducive to my point so im ignoring it]

also i think salarians would be worse bc they look rather close to what ThE gReEn MaRsMeN are depicted as

quarians and asari are just larping and cosplaying probably

but you know what would absolutely yeet me into the next life? NA'VI bc they hit alienism and uncanney valley at the same time and now translate that into conceivable carbon-based intelligent life? absolutely not goodnight

I once spent 10 bucks on an exclusive character in a Crusty Dating Sim in which you met that character's alien creators and MC straight up vomited and back then I laughed but honestly? probably same

-

*dont actually tell me i dont wanna hear it

** dont talk to me about societal shift or whatever from having grown up with aliens and landing on an alien planet in an alien galaxy for human expansion thats not what this is about. its about that, take em outta mass effect and plop em in front of your door you're dead on scene

[chikkou]

ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

[ganondoodle]

totk rewritten (for me, specifically)

since i dont have time to get to drawing it right away AND im worried people might take this the wrong way, i thought i could write out some bullet points about my rewrite of totk (meant as a fix FOR ME not saying its inherently better) to give you a better idea on what im going for:

the core structure largely remains the same, the biggest change is no time travel, thus making zelda your travel companion, and zonau tech being lagerly gone/broken with shiekah tech instead

it is not shown but said in dialog that shiekah tech, such as the ancient furnaces, shrines and towers are either turning off or have flickering power supply and purah having calculated that all their connections point towards beneath hyrule castle

game starts pretty much the same as real totk, most zonau ruins are so withered away that they are barely recognizable and the further you get down theres more and more shiekah tech pipes and occasional a miasma vein, some pipes are broken and spill miasma, others flicker

instead of the room with the wall carvings theres one with old ancient shiekah research remains, old broken tech and prototypes you dont what their purpose was, all documents are too withered to read but zelda finds one that was sealed in a container and takes it with her (she got a backpack now)

theres a structure similar to the bed thingy of the shrine of life from botw but its working in reverse; within it is sealed ganondorf (i gotta work out the details around it still)

(details still missing) it breaks and zelda takes the enigma stone but doesnt touch it directly and puts it within a sealed container (you know kinda like you should do with soemthing you have no idea of what it is and was alsO LOCATED ON A CORPSE)

ganondorf isnt the elegantly talking villain type in this version but more of a mess, talking in different languages both modern and ancient but you cant make out any clear sentences, struggeling with suddendly being awake and half alive after spending thousands of years in an agonizing limbo, having witnessed every second of the passage of time yet also it feeling like everything just happened all at the same time

the ground breaks as he recognizes zelda (bc of her fighting calamity ganon in botw) but also not really, still sees her as a threat (also bc of the enigma stone in the container she still has in her hand) attacks her, link deflects with the master sword, it breaks and damages his arm, zelda drops her torch and pulls link away towards where they came in from and both run as the caves fill up with miasma like a flood with arms starting to reach after them while they both run back through the tunnels (creepy chase sequence anyone?)

cataclysm happens (ground breaks, miasma bursts out of the ground, especially where shrines and towers where since they were still connected to the pipelines) ground shifts massively in some places giving alot of the map a whole new structure; all shiekah tech that was not independent stops working due to power loss

links arm is amputated since otherwise the miasma would spread to his whole body; purah, robbie and zelda work out a prosthetic arm prototype to give to link (protoype at first will be upgraded at halfway point of the game) that can switch between multiple modes, like a hand to hold normal items or a weapon that isnt crafted, and a fusing ability (though maybe limited in the prototype) that lets you make weapons similar to the weapon fusing in canon totk (potential upgrades including an extendable guardian arm that doesnt break, grapple hook anyone??, also the ability to build stuff out of shiekah tech parts, not glue needed you actually screw it together, maybe zelda even helps)

now you are given free roam of hyrule, the goal is to explore and find what has changed and check on people, see what the underground has, new monsters have spawned etc.

zelda is your companion the whole time, she can use the shiekah stone/purah pad to analyze enemies for you, she also carries at least a dagger for her own self defense but doesnt contribute much to the fight (subject to change maybe), you can talk to her anytime and she usually has something to comment on depending on where you are or what you just did, can give you tips and advice IF ASKED FOR IT, when you discover ancient ruins, whether zonau or shiekah, she can either decipher it for you or take photos for later to find out more about everything that has happend and what it means, she also takes part in conversations when you talk to someone, her outfit changes with yours (meaning when you wear the tingle set she wears it too, opens up alot of funny interactions njfkdk)

purah has built new towers but they function different (still working on the details) mainly that they function independent from the energy source in hyrule castle

there are floating islands but they are bigger and in more connected clusters, when reaching them its ancient withered ruins that the ancient shiekah built support around (like the platform used by monk miz kyoshia) to keep them afloat; there are building like observatories and research labs, but all very overgrown due to being up there for so long, theres a titan prototype on one of the islands, its shaped like a whale and zelda deciphers it was called vah narisha (reference to the whale deity in skyward sword) (i havent decided yet if its fully broken and just a big piece of enviroment to explore or half functioning floating around, or maybe first broken but later half repaired so it can fly around at least giving you an easier way to reach other island, you cant steer it tho) some of them are falling bc of energy loss but the bigger ones have independent energy sources (work in progress)

the underground has more diverse zones depending on which part of the map it is located on, there are old mines (for luminous stone) from the zonau but all is extremely withered, in each one its been mostly built over by the shiekah but there are construct remains that were clearly dissected and studied, half built shrines and towers, you can find collectibles and lore there (working on more details, but an idea was to include remains of ancient shiekah tha fled there when they were persecuted by that old king of hyrule, adding to the eery vibe)

some titans (maybe two, and the other are still on the sruface, like vah medoh) feel down during the cataclysm, broken apart or malfunctioning/ possibly being a boss as in they were used by a big cluster of miasma hands like a hermit crab uses its shell, the inside filled with eyes and different sized hands dragging itself towards you like a drowing man grabs after anything to save him)

dongos are your go to transportation here and a little different, when you call one they dig a path to you (not permanent, just so they can always spawn near you) they glow in the dark and can climb on walls (bc why not), and can point you towards the next objective/point of interest, likely where theres a high concentration of luminous stone since that is what they eat and its usually where old mining/construction sites are (still working on a replacement for light roots that are less invasive)

the rat from the trailer is a miniboss/boss you need to defeat in order to get the broken mastersword back into your possession

(im still working on how the sages work, but the idea is to incorporate their abilites for more efficient and reliable use into links shiekah prosthetic, so you can still use their abilities but only when you actually want)

(again still working on details) halfway point of the game is you trying to find out where ganondorf went, not intending to fight necessarily but just to find out more but it devolves into you fighting some sort of miasma monster (either him or some sort of manifestation he made) and you get a bunch of short memory flashes from him, all vague and a wild mess from both the time he was sealed and from the time afterwards, maybe even a perspective shift from when link was fighting dark beast ganon, but from ganons view, from zelda when she was keeping that manifestation in check, random views from the malice eyes from botw, from the blights, maybe even from the fight with the old and new champions, from the point when shiekah built their tech around him while he had to watch not able to do anything etc.)

links arm gets upgraded from prototype to a full prosthetic, opening up more fusing abilites and other things (like the grapple hook, again working on it, im open for ideas lol)

i will reblog this and add more over time if you want, but do let me know if you like it thus far, bc im still unsure if its worth the effort of working more on this QnQ

(also if you dont like just keep scrolling, i dont need to know that you hate it, it literally changes nothing but make me annoyed xD)

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Thanks for tagging @jrooc

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I’ve always been an avid reader and as a kid I wanted to be a writer so that was the start. I’ve been reading fanfic since i was in highschool, and I’ve had many different barely started fanfics started over the years but last year was the first time I was able to actually finish anything/taken it seriously. I think it just came down to college teaching me the last bit of discipline in my creative practice

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Just Gallavich, but I’m very confident I will write destiel in my lifetime

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

I published my first fic in September of last year!

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

it goes back and forth, when i enter a fandom i read fanfic voraciously but now i think i write a little more, its a balance between you can write the fanfic you want to read and you can read other peoples work to experience ideas you would never think of or just a different take on a familiar topic - both are good. I’m currently slowly going through and re-reading my old fics to get them ready to print and bind and its been a super fun process

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I hope i’ve improved a lot overall lol the main thing i always want to do well is portray the environment the way i envision it bc the worlds of my fanfics are rich and beautiful in my head so i just want to get better and better at pulling people into that

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Not a ton of weird research, a lot of google maps-ing to get a better understanding of the layout of Chicago and understanding how far away states/cities are from one another (i’m american, just a weird bicoastal one)

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally any comment, all of them are amazing and i can’t believe people read what i write and actually like it ?!? beautiful and very novel

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

um - i guess ABO, i was originally going to publish mine all mine anonymously bc it was very cringe inducing and still kind of is but tbh when i read it back i was like- wait this is good, even if it’s weird.

psychopomp is also a weird story, the way i thought/felt about it while writing was deeply weird and all the the themes of death and decay and devotion and consummation as an allegory for love were intended to be dark and just- weird

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Emotionally introspective fics that also really study the characters are really hard and i dont know why I keep fucking writing them - after finishing the fic im writing now i have to shift to something more plot focused

its really hard for obvious reasons but i also feel like i am an extremely logic driven person with a very particular worldview and all these characters are more emotionally driven than me. so i have to work very hard to not write behaviors from my pov and my decision making but from a studied understanding of the characters - which might be a good thing idk

um also idk if it needs to be said but brevity is not my strong suit, i should probably work on that

10. What is the easiest type?

Fluff, just cuddling and pillow talk baby i love that shit, also idk if i write smut well but it def goes the quickest for me

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Pages app on my icloud - I write after work some days, on my lunch break and on the train ride home. Every so often ill wake up early on a weekend and be in the mood to put on my noise canceling headphones and write for hours, but thats not super often

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

uhh - we’ll see. my true crime au is def one i want to write but all my ideas for the plot are just too dark rn, so well see if i can get it to lighten up a bit

13. What made you choose your username?

tagging 5 writers: @callivich @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @energievie @metalheadmickey

[romanarose]

So heres my delema.

just keep scrolling bc im laregl thinking out loud here asdfghjkl

I have 2 jobs rn.

Full time job. Given what's happened online the last year for me im more privat about it now but it is a m-f job in a field i enjoy. This job is seen as more traditionally a "career" type, although I think thats bs.

part time working at the olive garden. I've worked for olive garden for years at different stores and not to simp for a corperation but i like it. I ran into issues near the end of working there at my last store in school, but that was with the gm and another manager. Overall my experience has been good.

This may sound silly, but I take pride working at OG. I am good at what I do, i make great bread, im excellant at to go, im a friendly host. I do a lot of other stuff there but thats my main gig. I do pasta, and although its good im slow XD so ignore that.

At my full time job, things were going good this summer as they had last summer but it seems now theres a change.

last summer I was in a different position, I got put into the kitche now and i barely get to work with the people who I wanted to work with in htis type of job.

I'm not getting the support I need

My boss, who was previously nice to me, has like. 0 interest in me now because things arent ascrazy as in the summer. I always ask her about her weekend and stuff bc I care, but she never asked me about my trips when I come back or my day. My coworker said she didnt ask her how she was when she was in the hospital for three days.

At olive garden, all the managers were emplyees who worked their way up and are nice and friendly. They ask me about my week (i only come in on weekends) they are appriciative of when i cover shifts and never presure me to cover either.

The other thing is, I get paid more at this job than I do my "professional" job. They also offer health insurence, which I need for my meds. My main job has health insurgence, which Is the only reason i work full time while taking class. At olive garden, I only need to average 30 hours a week to qualify for health insurence

Open enrollment in in november, so I have this month to make my choice

go full time at olive garden and work "as needed" at this job or stay where i am? I am so tired yall. im exhausted and burnt out. I dont think ive been a great roommate this last month.

Is it stupid i like working at a restraunt more than the kind of job im "supossed to" strive for? idk.

Olive garden also has more flexibility for taking time off or switching shifts easier.

I wanna be able to have the mental energy to work on my class this semester, and ill have to take more next semester too so not having to work as much hours will be nice

OH and Olive garden does raises in november too. So i make a dollar more at olive garden rn, and it'll be more in november

I hopfully graduate in may and then can be more open/ hopfully only work one job ;-;

[livethrushit]

so im a first-time watcher of better call saul & have not looked into any analysis/commentary yet bc im not done and i dont want to find spoilers.

watching s3e9 made me realize we as the viewers get our real first taste of what it's like to be chuck, someone who can barely handle any shred of empathy towards jimmy. obviously streaming has changed a lot, but they spent about 4 years making you feel empathetic to whatever the fuck jimmy was up to bc he seems like an overall good guy. thinking about mike's quote where he says there's the law, you either follow it, or you don't and that's when you're considered a criminal.

but being a criminal does not mean you're an inherently bad person or doing something morally wrong. and most of jimmy's antics at this point are usually at the expense of rich pricks who intentionally hurt people. he goes above and beyond to help those he loves, like Painfully above and beyond. even when they hate him, even when they can't stand to be near him. he's as smart as chuck but in a morally different way and it makes him interesting compared to the straight laced intelligence of chuck.

then he does it: he needs money like yesterday and in dire straits he pulls a long con on an innocent, kind person. and it is brutal to watch. you can't even give him the benefit of the doubt because the urgency and desperation in his actions betray any unbothered, unstoppable facade he usually props up. there's a visceral reaction to the sort of scam he's pulling this episode. it's predatory, and aimed at someone highly vulnerable. the opposite of what we've seen him doing for almost 4 years.

it feels like after all this time, we are hitting a shift towards Maybe beginning to understand chuck more. he probably really liked jimmy at one point. but watching him con the most vulnerable people in his life so many times, with distressing amounts of elaborate lies, that empathy starts to run cold. you maybe start to wonder if maybe jimmy *only* conned the rich and arrogant because he reaped a bigger reward. the people he loves are apparently not valuable enough to con unless he stands to gain something in the situation.

jimmy's deep love for kim seems surface level at best when he completely overlooks her overwhelming distress. she hasn't slept, she's losing her composure, we don't see her eat, she's burying herself in work. a lot of this is a poor coping mechanism for betraying chuck, a vulnerable man whose bitterness comes from a lifetime of watching hard scenes like the ONE scene we now have. kim is feeling the after effects of giving jimmy the benefit of the doubt, a feeling chuck knows well. it starts to harden you.

it's our turn to decide if jimmy deserves benefit of the doubt this episode.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi. i just need to vent and i dont rlly want to vent to someone i know bc idk i struggle with that kinda thing... also ive seen you giving advice and stuff? so it seemed like a safe space. anyway lately I've just been really overthinking/worrying about losing my job, (for context im 17 so this job isnt my living). i work as a barista at an independent cafe and have done for abt a year now but lately I've been making what feels like a lot of mistakes and a couple of times now ive seen my managers talking but stopping once they see me, and like stuff like that. i know it seems trivial like ohh ur overthinking a job you dont even need except im starting uni soon so i feel stressed abt paying for that, and i know im lucky to have a job especially as a teenager when rhe market is so competitive but like this week i wasnt given any shifts even tho i know theyre slightly short staffed without any warning or discussion. anyway im just worried that theyre gonna stop giving me shifts and i wont be able to get another job and then ill barely be able to feed/clothe myself and yeah... like i said im aware that its kinda trivial but its just stressing me out a lot and i needed to get it off my chest. anyway ur awesome

Hi!

I think this is one of those moments where you can do the really scary adult thing, you know? Go to your managers and say something like "hey I'm so sorry if I've seemed distracted lately, I've been worried about uni and I think that's affected my work. I'm willing to accept constructive criticism if you have any." and then...be willing to accept constructive criticism. Either they'll tell you you're doing great, and then you'll be reassured, they'll tell you what to work on, and the air will be cleared, or they'll tell you they're considering letting you go, and at least you'll know. But most good managers appreciate someone willing to take direction.

Also this isn't trivial. No worry is trivial if it's bothering you <3

Keep me updated! Naming you blueberry anon!

[eldritchmochi]

Hi its the anon that keeps poking you about cs again! All of those ideas are great and just so the pain of fanfic often sort of being what would be a novel first draft by being episodic, but I feel like you could so weave in a tonne of this stuff past now anyway. Especially the cane leaning, im a cane user too and I totally get it, how my partner handles my cane is just.... it feels different to anyone else. Like they get to touch my body differently to anyone else and that applies to my cane too since that really sort of a part of my body??

the inherent eroticism of ur partner touching u(r cane) i should make a zine about this lmao

rn i am considering how much if any retouching i wanna do of the existing 260k of coping skills cos yeah, the struggle of fanfic essentially being the first draft of a novel. usually it doesnt get me too bad since a) i generally fully complete a fic before posting so i do have a chance to go back and adjust things here and there & 2) i really havent ever cared to redraft something in the more traditional sense and iii) i basically never write things over 100k let alone anything substantially over 100k

one of the options im considering would involve a fairly big overhaul where i pull out the individual arcs and flesh em out with additional scenes for better pacing, and then repost as a series with shorter individual fics (with the og in tact as is, just with a note). ive had several people tell me theyve balked at the length of this damned fic, especially since its barely half done plot wise for JUST this specific already plotted chunk of the whole shebang. it has quite possibly gotten a smiiiidge out of control lmao but its been a great learning experience and i am Determined to finish it

however, i am ALSO considering filing the serial numbers off this fic once its done. i absolutely plan on redrafting the whole thing with a bunch of developmental editing work so the end result would almost certainly be a very different form of the story from the fic as it is now. im still unsure of how much of the rework i have in my head i want to put on the internet as Coping Skills: The Fic tho. its really important to me that, whatever i end up doing, i keep this monster available on the internet as a fanfic cos i am well aware of how much it means to a lot of folks

at the same time though theres a lot of backend stuff i could build into the cs2.0 idea that would make writing the rest of the story a LOT easier, which would make dev edits and redrafting easier bc ill be starting with something that has more structure, etc

theres balance somewhere i just haven't found it yet, HOWEVER im absolutely gonna be stuck til i figure it out. im a plantser when it comes to plot, im more than happy to figure out the path to a fairly nebulous endgoal, but i struggle to write stuff if i dont have a good idea of the overall structure of how i tell the story, like pattern of pov shifts and theming, which definitely got a bit away from me the last like 80k lmao