#bc none of us could take care of her and she was unhappy so like was it the responsible thign to do... yeah

[escaping-consciousness]

Of course, I can’t rely on anyone.

I don’t know if my bf will be able to get a job and KEEP it long enough before I completely deplete my savings. I struggle to save what $150 every check, but it won’t stay there. I’ve had to take it out to compensate for him or our roommates when they were unemployed. I’ll probably have to do it again to keep his car from being repoed, because unemployment may deny his claim. A bill needs to be paid and I just shit out money that could’ve gone to new computer equipment, clothes that actually fit me, therapy, or a course for a certification to get a better paying job. I could use it to move. I can’t do shit though. My hands are tied because I’m working all the time.

I can’t even do anything for myself because there’s no money left for me. I refrain from using what I can keep in the savings account .

I’m too tired and depressed to focus on my hobbies and skills. I need books to study, and I want to invest in freelancing, I just don’t have the support or the time. When I want yo get in the zone, it’s time to cook or go to bed so I can get up for work. When it’s the weekend, we have chores to catch up on. My money is gone by the time we finish groceries.

I don’t even have kids or my own pet. I have literally NOTHING except the my personal bills. The only good thing is that my bills are finally being paid on time. I can do my part. I know the economy is tough but I’ve gone too long without the things that could change my life or make me happy.

I don’t know what to do.

I feel alone and exhausted. I have a hard time seeing the positives in my situation. Yes, I’m alive, but I’m miserable. I just exist and I can’t make myself happy without compromising the security of having somewhere to live and paying things on time.

When I ask for help, there’s excuses from family or they’re trying to bail out cousins that don’t deserve the money because they refuse to work or get help. My mom has nothing to give. She ended up putting me in debt because she didn’t have enough to help me like she promised. She was too trusting and was just too busy helping her friend, her brother, or my brothers. None of them paid her back or even kept their end of the deal, but I did. I still get little financially help, even though forced to break my back for everyone else.

I can’t go home. Even if I did, there wouldn’t be room for me living back at mom’s. They’re struggling just as much and I’ll just be their taco to work because neither my brother or cousin have their own cars nor will they take public transportation or carpool with coworkers. Mom will emotionally cling to me because of how unhappy she is. If I go home, I’ll purposely OD.

Even if I left my bf, I’d be a burden to my friends. I can’t live alone because i simply can’t afford the rent. I make too much for assistance. I don’t have the skills. I can draw, but AI is fucking up the industry. I don’t have an audience for commissions. I’m not pretty or in shape enough for sex work. Something will happen to me if I ever go homeles.

A lot of this is so mean to think but I just don’t care,

I’m so demotivated by my circumstances but I wish that I didn’t wake up the next morning. I feel like I worked hard for nothing. People telling me “I’m doing great” have no idea how much pain I’m in and it seems like they don’t care either way. Nobody checks up on me. They just ask my parents about me, rather than call or message me.

I wish I didn’t need to be alive. I’m tired of being strong for everybody just so I can be there for them to lean on. I’m tired as bc I want to quit.

I don’t know why I’m sven here anymore.

I’m so unhappy and I can’t escape my life.

[autisticstarseed]

this is not meant to like,,,, idk guILT anyone with pets or smth like you are all great but anybody else out here have personal traumas with pets or just grew up in poverty and didnt get to have them and feel like for most ppl its so integral to their life and just completely normal to them to have these little animals constantly around and they even fantasize all the time abt having their dream pets someday whereas u really are so unfamiliar with that concept you struggle to even imagine having One of them 

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[fangirlandiknowit101]

Based on this post, with the idea by @itachiscatears, a very unhinged possible epilogue to The sun within me where Naruto collects all the Sasukes, because why wouldn’t he?? 

Under a cut bc it ended up long. To put it simply, Sasuke suffers. Naruto lives in Sasuke-filled heaven for two (2) weeks until Sasuke comes back and ruins all his dreams (or something like that)

Rated T probably to be safe

______________________________________

Sasuke returns from his trip, and all thoughts are immediately erased from his head as he enters the Uchiha compound, finding it full of copies of himself.

Has Naruto finally gone off the deep end and decided to surround himself by clones transformed into Sasuke? He catches the eye of another Sasuke passing by, and this version of him is wearing glasses.

“Hello,” glasses-Sasuke says as he reaches him. “Are you new? I thought Naruto started out by introducing everyone, but you seem like you wandered in here by yourself.”

“I…”

He’s speechless. Actually speechless. He considers yelling Naruto’s name at the top of his lungs, because either he’s playing a bad prank on him, or this person standing in front of him is really another version of him. Was Charasuke not enough?!

“Where the hell did you come from?” he asks, and glasses-him pushes the glasses up his nose, sniffing at him.

“Another dimension.”

The obviously is left implied.

“I’m a scientist,” is added, and then he turns halfway to shout at someone. “Oi, Friendly Sasuke! Would you come over here, please?”

Sasuke stares, and stares a little more as another Sasuke walks over with a happy grin on his face. Even knowing Charasuke, it’s unsettling to look at.

“Sure, what’s up, Researcher Sasuke?”

Sasuke – the real Sasuke, that is, although he is starting to doubt the reality of things – glares at both of them.

“Where’s Naruto?” he demands, fists clenching and unclenching in anger.  

“Pretty sure he’s still at the Hokage tower,” Friendly Sasuke replies, giving him a pleasantly questioning look. “Is he new? He seems kind of similar to Avenger Sasuke. Bad temper, I mean.”

“Oh!” Researcher Sasuke taps his lips, scrutinizing Sasuke as one might scrutinize a lab experiment. “Maybe this is the Sasuke of this world? Naruto said he’d be coming back soon.”

Telling himself firmly that Naruto (and Charasuke, too) would be upset with him if he started killing versions of himself, Sasuke takes a deep breath and flickers out of sight, heading for the Hokage tower.

“Sasuke!” Naruto greets him with, a beaming smile on his face as he holds his arms out from behind his office desk.

As if Sasuke would run into his arms. As if he didn’t already have another version of him standing by the desk, glaring sullenly at Sasuke.

“You,” Sasuke hisses out from between clenched teeth. “Explain.”

Naruto chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Ah, well, you see, I was talking to Charasuke if maybe there could be other dimensions, and maybe there would also be other versions of us there? And so, guess what? There is!”

Perhaps Sasuke should go on another trip. A year-long one. He’ll pretend for a moment that he won’t miss the dumb idiot, and that he hadn’t spent most of this trip looking forward to coming back home to him.

“And what, I repeat, what, are they all doing in the Uchiha district? I leave you alone for two weeks and this is how desperate-“

The edge of a katana is pointed at his throat, fast enough that Sasuke can’t finish speaking, but slow enough that he deems it’s not a serious attempt on his life. The other Sasuke’s eyes bore into his, a little unhinged.

“Maybe you shouldn’t leave him alone,” this barely restrained version of him says.

“No, no, it’s alright,” Naruto says, slowly walking over to delicately push the other Sasuke’s katana down. “I know you like violence, Avenger Sasuke, but we’ve talked about this.”

Again, Sasuke is speechless. Naruto pouts at the other Sasuke until he sheaths his katana with a huff, still eyeing him with suspicion. He never acted like that, did he?

(Okay fine, he did. But still.)

“Return them,” he grits out, just as the door to the Hokage’s office slams open and several copies enter the room.

“Now, he really can’t do that,” Researcher Sasuke informs him, shaking out a long scroll and glancing over the contents. “You see, the Uchiha district is now a booming economy, restoring the wealth of the Uchiha clan, which was unjustly usurped by this village. Without us, this village will collapse.”

He does not like the sound of this. His eyes find Naruto, who clears his throat with a sheepish look on his face.

“Don’t worry,” another Sasuke says, wearing pastel-colored clothing and chewing loudly on something as he speaks. There are obnoxious sun glasses on top of his messy hair. “It’s cool. We like it here.”

“See?” Naruto pleads with him, attempting an innocent look. “There’s even a Ramen Chef Sasuke! His ramen is to die for, you have to try it!”

“I’d rather die,” Sasuke mutters, contemplating escape. Two weeks. He wonders what the kyuubi’s opinion is on this madness.

“Aw, come on. Don’t be like that,” Naruto says, moving closer and clearly aiming for a hug, possibly a kiss.

Sasuke’s dignity will not allow it.

“You are not allowed to touch me or even think about touching me until they’re all gone,” he spits out, taking a few steps back. “You can sleep here in the office.”

“Or with me,” Friendly Sasuke suggests.

“I think it was Stripper Sasuke’s turn tonight,” Researcher Sasuke points out.

Well, that’s it. He’s out of here.

Naruto calls after him as he leaves through the window, but no one tries to stop him. Naruto prefers the stripper version of him? Fair enough. He’ll let them have fun while he…

Ends up moping in a bar, Sakura giving him pitying looks.

“I tried to stop him,” she says again, for the umpteenth time. “Told him you’d be unhappy.”

“That’s an understatement.”

Another pitying look, and he’s starting to feel tired down to the bone. Why, oh why, did he decide to dedicate his life to this absolute moron? This imbecile? This Sasuke-obsessed nutcase? He can’t even bring himself to feel surprised, just resigned.

“I have to admit though, they’ve done a lot to improve the economy. Some versions of you are terribly smart. There’s even a doctor one, he’s teaching me-“

Sasuke gives her a look, and she promptly shuts up. Maybe that version of him is straight and they can live happily ever after. He. Does. Not. Care.

Someone wanders over to their table, pausing until Sasuke tilts his head up. He’s been resting it against the tabletop, for reasons. It is, of course, another version of him. Just really old. Like, older than he ever imagined he’d become.

“I heard you are this Naruto’s Sasuke,” he says in a gravelly voice, cane gripped tight in one gnarled hand. “This must all be terribly confusing to you.”

Another understatement. The old him clears his throat, and Sakura rushes up to get him a chair. He sinks down on it with a heavy sigh, placing the cane over his lap and peering at Sasuke with too knowing eyes.

“We are all here of our free will,” he states, as if Sasuke is included in that. He’s no longer sure he is. “In my case, I lost my Naruto to old age, which inevitably awaits us all, if we are lucky.”

As sad as that is, Sasuke won’t offer him any sympathy.

“Some came out of curiosity, some came because their Naruto is unavailable. Some came because Naruto asked them to. I think it unsettles him to know that there are few other universes where the two of us live together in true happiness.”

“Maybe he just entered your dimensions at the wrong point in time,” Sasuke surprises himself by saying, raising an eyebrow at the old man. “I mean, if you at least had a long life together…”

He receives a thoughtful nod for his comment.

“Maybe he found us at a time when we most miss his presence. Researcher Sasuke, for example, is studying in another country. He’s convinced that all the data shows that his Naruto is not interested.”

“Not my problem.”

Sakura kicks him under the table.

“Either way, none of you belong here,” he adds, grimacing at the thought that Naruto would be attracted to this wrinkly old version of him. “How long do you plan to stay, anyway?”

Old Sasuke smiles sweetly at him. It’s terrifying.

“Oh, I for one don’t mind staying for the rest of my life. This young Naruto is so invigorating.”

Sasuke cannot deal with this. He does not deserve this. He stands up and leaves, stalking out of the bar and out of the village and doesn’t stop until he’s an hour away and Naruto pops into existence next to him, using the damn mark still on the nape of his neck.

“Are you leaving?” Naruto asks, looking alarmed. “Why? Where are you going?”

“Does it matter?” It’s unfair of him to ask, but Naruto is seriously testing his patience. “You’ve got your harem to entertain you.”

“It’s not a harem,” Naruto splutters, waving his arms around wildly. “It’s just-“

Sasuke waits, crossing his arms.

“I, uh, may have a slight problem,” Naruto confesses, nervously tapping his hands together. “You see, I just wanted to check on us in the other dimensions, but then I was noticed, and then you, well a version of you, convinced me to find more of you, it was just for research-“

Oh, Researcher Sasuke is going to die a gruesome death.

“And then suddenly! There were so many of you! And things were kind of happening!”

“You’re an idiot,” Sasuke tells him, but he can’t stay angry at Naruto.

Of course, Naruto knows this, and his hopeful little smile is entirely too effective. Sasuke closes his eyes and groans, listlessly holding out his arms, just enough that Naruto takes it as an invitation. He launches himself at Sasuke, clinging to him like a monkey, burying his face in Sasuke’s neck.

“I missed you,” he mutters, and it’s the final blow to Sasuke’s defenses.

He wraps his arms around Naruto, telling himself he’s definitely going to make him pay for this, just later.

“You’re taking them all back tomorrow morning at the latest,” he scolds Naruto, who lets out a muffled noise of complaint. “Either they leave or I do.”

It’s an empty threat, but Naruto still stiffens in his hold.

“Fine,” he huffs, lowering his legs until he’s at least supporting his own weight. “But… what about Grandpa Sasuke? Can we keep him?”

Sasuke pushes him away, ignoring the betrayed look on his face.

“No.”

“But he’s so nice! And harmless! And his Naruto is already dead!”

“I am not sharing you.”

Wait. That’s not what he meant to say. Naruto blinks up at him from where he’s sprawled on the ground, mouth open like a fish. Then his eyes fill with glee, a smug grin spreading across his face.

“Ooh, you were jealous,” he teases, and Sasuke turns his back on him. “You were! Admit it! You want me all to yourself, because you love me soooo much-“

One of these days, Sasuke tells himself silently as Naruto continues to blabber on about how Sasuke still needs to learn how to communicate, and obviously Naruto loves him the most, he just can’t help but wonder if maybe Sasuke could be a little nicer to him, learn a ramen recipe or two…

Yeah, one of these days, for sure, he’ll knock some sense into Naruto. But not today.

Clearly, not today.

[onceuponastory]

Coming Back Home Chapter One: Hometown (Nick x Y/N)

Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable...until her sister asks her to show Nick around town...a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.

Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? Important: This story is based on a prompt by @orphicodysseywrites​. It’s a mix of prompts one and two from this post, so full credit for this idea goes to them! Warnings: None A/N: My first fic based on one of Dacre’s characters! I hope you all enjoy it. I’ve checked it for spelling issues and stuff like that. However, I’ve been working really hard on this, and working in real life, so I may have missed some issues. In that case, if you see any issues, no you didn’t, lmao. Also, although this fic has Nick in it, it has no spoilers for The Broken Hearts Gallery! To be honest, Nick is in this just because the plot fits him the best! let’s be honest, this prompt does not fit Billy lmaooo

Special thanks goes to my best friend Jo, aka @thesundrop​, who made this banner, and helped so much with planning this fic. Some of you may know her as @staticscreenwriting​, where she writes Billy fics. Check them out, they’re amazing!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Nick or his character! Like I said, I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Again, aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all go see the movie because it’s adorable!

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about to begin our descent towards the airport. Please place all tray tables and seats in the upright position, stow away any laptops or other electrical equipment, and remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened.” The flight attendant chirpily announces over the intercom, and I let out the sigh I didn’t even know I was holding. In a short while, I’d be on my way back to Saint Chase, the place I thought I’d never set foot in again. I had left that place behind years ago and moved to New York City, hoping that the bad memories from that town didn’t follow me there. And for the most part, they didn’t. However, since my younger sister was getting married there in three weeks, and I was the maid of honour, I obviously couldn’t turn it down. I love my sister, of course I do, and of course I wanted to see her again and take part in such a special moment of her life...I just wish she’d picked somewhere else to get married. Sooner than I’d have liked, the plane lands, and after collecting my luggage, I walk into arrivals. I don’t even have to look around the room before I hear:

“Y/N!!! Hi!” My younger sister Katie calls across to me. She bounds up to me and wraps her arms around me before I can even react. I immediately smell her fruity perfume. It smells familiar. It smells like home. “How was your flight? I hope it was good. I thought we were going to be late getting here, but thankfully traffic wasn’t too bad.” She continues chattering away, and I smile. Katie was a ball of energy in a 5′4 tall body, and that’s partly why I love her so much.

“Katie. Breathe.” I giggle, and she stops.

“Sorry! I know I get carried away sometimes. Anyway, you remember Adam, right? He-”

“Yes, Katie, I remember your fiancé. The same fiancé that you’re getting married to in three weeks.” I tease, and she flashes pink. “Hi, Adam.” I hold out my hand for a handshake, but he pulls me into a hug too.

“Come on Y/N.” He tells me, giving me a warm smile. “We’re almost family, you can give me a hug.” Weirdly, hugging Adam felt like home too. As they both lead me out of the airport towards their car, holding hands and chatting the entire way, I can’t help but smile. They really were perfect for each other. They were the typical high school sweethearts, who had been together since they met seven years ago. And now here they were, about to get married. I used to think true love, that sappy kind in movies where the guy is so squeaky clean that there’s nothing wrong with him, and who’d drop everything for the girl he loves didn’t exist (and the boyfriends I’d had over the years definitely helped me believe that). But when I saw how happy Katie was with Adam, how she gushed about him constantly, and just how happiness beamed out of her every time she was near him or talking about him, I began to realise that maybe that kind of love did exist after all. If only I could find it.

~~~

“We’re almost here, girls.” Adam announces, and I feel my stomach turning into knots. Is it too late to leap out of the car and make a run for it? But then I see Katie’s face in the rearview mirror, and I know I can’t do that to her. So I grimace and say how wonderful being so close is instead.

“So, are the three of us staying in the hotel then?” I ask, taking a gulp of my tea. I was going to book a room there myself, but Katie and Adam had told me they’d take care of accommodation, and despite my initial misgivings, I decided to trust my sister.

“Well, we actually have a surprise...” Katie begins. “We’ve done up Nana’s house, and that’s where we’ll be staying! Isn’t it great? It’s going to be such a great bonding experience!” I almost choke on my tea. Maybe I should’ve listened to my gut and just booked into the hotel after all.

“Wh-What?” I ask, spluttering a little.

“Yeah, Adam and I thought about it, and we thought it would be better. I mean, it’s cheaper for a start, and it’s so nostalgic! Getting married in the town Adam and I grew up in and staying in the house you and I grew up in!” She squeals excitedly.

“Katie, no...I didn’t even-”

“Ooh, we’re here!” Katie cuts me off and looks out her window. “Look! There’s the diner! And the library! Remember when Nana used to read to us there every day after school? Aw, it was so cute.” She grins, and I sit back in my seat, trying to avoid glancing out of the window. “And there’s the bakery! They’re making the cake for our wedding, so I know it’ll be sublime. Y/N, remember those chocolate cupcakes they have? So good right? Oooh, we should get some later for dessert babe!” She tells Adam, who nods. I should’ve known that we’d be staying in Nana’s old house. But typical me seemed to block that part out with every other thing I wanted to forget about this town. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the buildings of the town begin to fade away and become replaced by pine trees. Nana’s house was on the outskirts of town, before the forest, so I knew that we were close.

After a few more minutes, the car turns, and I hear the sound of gravel crunching beneath the wheels. Nana’s house had a gravel drive, so it was obvious that we had arrived. The car stops, and we all get out. Nana’s house looked almost the same as it did when I left four years ago. The roses around the door were still there, as well as all the lavender bushes in her front garden. All that looked different was the colour of the front door. Katie did a good job. The house still looked like something out of a fairytale storybook, somewhere where seven dwarves or three bears could live comfortably for many years...or maybe where a grandmother raised her two granddaughters. But how familiar the house looked did little to quell my unwillingness to stay there.

“Good to be back, right?” Adam asks, giving me a smile. Trying to avoid showing my unhappiness, I nod and force a small smile. Thankfully, Adam doesn’t seem to notice. He walks up to Katie, picks her up, and carries her over the threshold of the house.

“No! Adam! You’re meant to do this AFTER we get married!” Katie giggles and squeals, squirming about in Adam’s arms. “Y/N, help!” she calls, disappearing into the house.

“Sorry, Katie, you’re on your own!” I call back. And then, I’m alone, staring up at the house where I spent most of my life...and where I swore I’d never go again. A cold chill spreads across my body, and I can’t tell if it’s the wind or my nerves.

It’s going to be a long three weeks.

~~~

A Few Hours Later 

I was settled into my old bedroom from when I was younger, and was laying on my bed, scrolling through my phone. Suddenly: “Knock knoooock!” A sing-song voice sounds from the other side of my bedroom door.

“Come in, Katie.”

“Aw, how’d you know it was me?” Chuckling, I open the door. Katie stands there, pouting.

“Well for a start, that’s what you did when we were kids, and you wanted to show me something...and you did it when we were teenagers too. I’m your big sister Katie. I know you.”

“You’re only two years older than me!”

“That still makes me smarter than you.” I tease, winking. Sighing, Katie laughs.

“Yeah, you’re right. I can’t get anything past you, can I?”

“Nope! Anyway, what’s up?”

“Nick’s almost here. We’re all going to pick him up from the train station and get dinner, so you two can get to know each other before the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Ah, it’s going to be great!” She squeals excitedly. Meanwhile, I’m just confused.

“...Nick?”

“Y/N.” Katie is suddenly more serious, which is totally unlike her. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten who Nick is!” My blank stare makes her sigh. “You know, Nick!” She stresses his name like I should know it, and like I’ve committed a felony by forgetting it. But nothing springs to mind, so I stay silent. Katie huffs. “Nick is Adam’s best man. They met in college. They were roommates. He’s coming down early to help set up, and so you two can get to know each other. Sounds like you two getting to know each other is desperately needed.”

“Oh...right.” I respond, and she rolls her eyes. It was quite strange, seeing my ordinarily happy and energetic sister be so serious.

“Anyway, he’s going to be here soon, so you better get ready. And remember, you two are important parts of this wedding, AND you two are dancing together too, so please be nice to him.”

“Well, there go my plans to punch him in the face as soon as I meet him.” I joke.

“Y/N!” Katie whines. “That’s not funny! It’s my wedding at stake!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” I give her a hug. “I love you. I know how important this is to you. I won’t let anything bad happen. I promise.”

“Thanks sis.” Katie replies. “Anyway, come on, we’re leaving in ten minutes.” She orders, walking towards the door.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you! Nick’s going to be staying here too, so you’ll be seeing each other a lot more!” She announces happily.

“...He’s WHAT?!”

~~~

The sounds of the radio fill the car as the three of us sit in silence. I think the song they’re playing is by ABBA....or maybe Fleetwood Mac. Actually, I wasn’t really paying attention to whatever song was playing. Shocking, I know. Instead, I was sitting tapping my leg, waiting to see if I could notice Nick. Nick. The man  I thought I would just be dancing with at my sister’s wedding, and making pleasant conversation with, not sharing a space with for the next three weeks. I love my sister, I honestly do...but god, I wish she’d tell me things in advance sometimes.

But that’s who Katie is. She’s spontaneous, I’m not. She’s an extrovert, and I’m the introvert. She’s wild and fun...and I’m boring. In some ways, we’re polar opposites of each other. But that also draws us closer together. Yes, aside from our genetics, we weren’t that alike...but we were still sisters, and the best of friends.

“There he is! I see him!” Katie pipes up excitedly, cutting off my thoughts. She and Adam immediately get out of the car and start waving him over, leaving me in the backseat. Immediately my cheeks flush. Oh god, he’s going to have to sit next to me, isn’t he? Shit. I glance out of the window and see Nick is close by. Sighing, I decide I better get out and greet him. If I was going to be spending three weeks living with him, I better make a good first impression.

“Hi Katie!” His voice greets her, and he pulls her into a hug. “I’ve not seen you in forever!”

“I saw you like two weeks ago!” She giggles. Nick then turns to Adam, and greets him. I stand back a little, watching them. The three of them look happy and natural together. Like a proper family. While I feel like the one who doesn’t belong. The puzzle piece that doesn’t fit into this happy family dynamic. Of course, I couldn’t tell Katie that, that would make her feel even more worried, and she didn’t deserve this stress. Not now. I take a deep breath. All I need to do is make it through these three weeks until the wedding. “Nick.” Katie begins, gesturing towards me. “This is my sister Y/N, the maid of honour!” Deep breaths Y/N. You can do this. It’s just a guy. After all, it’s not like he’s a Greek God or something. And then he turns around.

His blue eyes sparkle, and he grins. “So this is the girl I’m going to dance with, huh?” He holds out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Nick.”

Oh my god, he’s gorgeous. What I said about him not being a Greek God? I was wrong. He looks better than that. Oh god, I’m so fucked. Oh god, he’s staring at me, and I haven’t said anything to him. I quickly grab his hand and shake it. Hopefully he doesn’t notice my sweaty palms.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nick.” I flash a smile, hoping to every god there is that I don’t have lipstick or food on my teeth.

“I’ve heard so much about you!” I...wish I could say the same. Katie really needs to tell me things in advance...including whether or not her fiancé hangs out with Greek God lookalikes.

“All good, I hope!” I chuckle awkwardly. Nick smiles again.

“All great things.” The two of us stand there, just staring at each other. Katie’s voice calls over:

“Come on, you two, I’m starving! Stop eyeballing each other and get in the car!” My eyes go slightly wide, and I quickly get into the car, desperate not to make a fool of myself, even if it seemed Katie was trying to.

“Oh, sorry Nick. Just move my bag and jacket from your seat.” I tell him as he opens his door. “Actually, just pass them over here.” He passes them over, and as I reach out to take them, our hands brush against each other. Shivers run up my spine. This isn’t normal, right? No, it isn’t. You don’t usually feel shivers up your spine when you brush hands with people you just met. That usually means something deeper....right? Nick gets in beside me, and I’m immediately aware of the smell of his cologne. He smells great. Like...really great. God, this man really is the full package, huh? Adam sets off, and I settle back into my seat, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

“So, what’s Saint Chase like?” I hear Nick ask, causing me to look back up at him. “I’ve never been here before, so I was just wondering, like, is there any fun things to do, or any good memories? I know you and Katie grew up here, so...” He seems genuinely interested, and I have no idea what to tell him. I mean, what could I say? I’m guessing Katie didn’t tell him how desperate I was to get the hell out of the town as soon as I could.

“Well....” I begin. “To be honest, Nick, I’m not the best person to ask.” I admit. “I haven’t been back here in a while. You’d be better off asking Katie if you need a tour guide...sorry.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, Nick looks a little disappointed, but he doesn’t say anything regardless. I sink back into my seat again. I mean, it wasn’t like I lied...I genuinely don’t remember much about the town...or I had just tried to block out the memories so much, it actually worked.

After another agonising car journey, the car parks outside of Saint Chase’s diner. Again, like Nana’s house, it looked like nothing had changed from what I remembered. It was almost like the town was part of its’ own little universe, where the buildings and the people in it never grew up, and neither would you if you stayed there. Okay, maybe that was dramatic, but still.

Katie pushes open the door, and the woman behind the counter looks up as we walk in. Before any of us could say anything, the woman exclaims:

“OH! MY! GOD! Is that who I think it is?!” She quickly runs out from behind the counter, and up to Katie and I. “It is! It’s Rose’s granddaughters!” She pulls us both into a hug, giving us a tight squeeze. Pulling away, she looks us up and down. “Remember me? It’s Jane! God, I remember when your Grandma, god rest her soul, used to bring you in for breakfast every Saturday, ever since you were about this high Katie.” She points to her knee. Straightening back up, she looks us both over again. “Aw, you both look so much like your mother. Especially you, Y/N.” She smiles, causing a pang in my heart. She looks behind us, not noticing the sad expression on my face. “Ooooh! Are these the boyfriends?” She winks. “They’re gorgeous, good on you girls!”

“Well Jane, this is my fiancé Adam-” Katie begins, immediately getting squeals of delight, and congratulations in return. “And this is his best friend Nick, who’s the best man.”

“But we’re not dating.” I finish. Even if he was really gorgeous.

“Oh that’s right! I forgot you two are getting married here!” She sighs. “I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on, honestly.” She steps closer to me, and her voice drops to a whisper. “But if you’re serious about not taking him honey, let me know, and I gladly will. He’s beautiful.” She gestures toward Nick. “Anyway! Let me get you four the best seats in the house. Follow me!” She orders, and the four of us do so. Jane leads us to a booth near the back of the diner and passes over some menus. “I’ll be right back to get you some drinks.” She grins.

“Well...she seems friendly!” Nick states, making us all laugh.

~~~

Later

“So anyway, Nick is completely drenched by this point. I mean, obviously, he had fallen into a pool.”

“Pushed. I was pushed.” Nick corrects, making Katie and I laugh. Adam was telling us stories of him and Nick in college, and I was feeling a lot more comfortable. Nick was hilarious, and he seemed really sweet. Maybe sharing a house with him for three weeks wouldn’t be so bad after all. “Anyway, that’s why I immediately pulled him into the pool with me, so he could know how it feels.” Nick finishes.

“Oh, you should’ve been there, babe. We both had white shirts on. Abs for days.” Adam tells Katie. God, of course Nick has abs. Wouldn’t expect anything else.

“Really? Maybe Y/N should’ve been there, she loves ab- ouch!” Katie begins, before I gently kick her in the shin. Adam and Nick look over, clearly concerned. “Sorry, just....bashed my leg on the table leg.” She lies, and I give her a pointed look, causing her to raise an eyebrow.

“Okaaaay...anyway, we’ve told a story about our college mishaps, how about one from you two?” Nick asks. Katie furrows her eyebrows for a moment, clearly deep in thought...and then her eyes light up. Oh no. Why do I have a feeling this will end badly for me?

“Did I ever tell you two about the time Y/N almost went to a midterm in her underwear?” And there it is.

“Nonononono, we don’t need to hear this story!” I gasp, my cheeks flushing red.

“Oh I think we do.” She winks, while I hide my face in my hands. And there goes my last shred of dignity. And with it, any hopes of having Nick see me as anything other than a total mess.

~~~

That Night

I was sitting on my bed, reading. Since we had gotten home from the diner, I had retreated upstairs, changed into my pyjamas and stayed there. Mainly because I was trying to avoid Nick, and any other potential forms of embarrassment before the wedding. Maybe I could just stay in there until the wedding? Sighing, I put my book down and lean back into my pillows. Not that I was paying much attention to the book anyway. Why was I like this? I mean, yeah, of course I didn’t want to embarrass myself, especially in front of a guy, but why was I going to such lengths for Nick? Why was I so hell-bent on not embarrassing myself in front of him? There must be something about him...something...different. Of course, he’s the best man to my maid of honour in my sister’s wedding, which is obviously part of it, but it felt like there was something more there. Something I didn’t understand. A knock at the door pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Katie, I hope you’re here to- oh!” I gasp when I see who is on the other side of the door. Nick stands there, dressed in a t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants. His hair was wet from a shower, and looked slightly curly.

“Hi.” He says, his voice slightly husky, causing the shivers from before to return.

“H-Hi, Nick.” I stammer. “What can I do for you?” He doesn’t answer me, and instead passes over a steaming mug.

“We made some tea, and I thought I’d bring you a mug.” He explains.

“Thanks.” I take a sip of the tea, immediately feeling its warmth pass through me.

“Are you feeling alright?” Nick asks. “You came up right after we got back from dinner, and you’ve been up here for a while, so I was wondering if you were okay.”

“Oh...yeah I’m fine, just tired from my flight.” I lie. Nick smiles and nods.

“Yeah I get that, I think it’ll be an early night for me too.” The two of us stand there for a minute, neither of us saying anything to the other. “Nice pyjamas by the way.” Nick breaks the silence, and I glance down at my Minnie Mouse pyjamas, immediately wishing I’d brought different ones.

“Thanks.” And then, back to silence. But in a way, it was a comfortable silence, one where we didn’t have to say anything to each other, and instead, just enjoy the company of each other.

“Well, I think I’m going to head off to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Y/N.” He smiles. “It was really nice to meet you today.”

“Yeah, it was.” I smile back. “Goodnight Nick.”

~~~

The Next Day

“Morning sleepy head.” Katie says through a mouthful of toast as I walk into the kitchen.

“It’s 9am. This is early for me.”

“I know, I know. Just teasing.” She laughs.

“Anyway, what do you need me to do today? What still needs doing?” I ask, reaching down to grab a slice of toast.

“Hey!” Katie swats my hand away. “And about that...” She trails off. “I’ll tell you in a sec.” I hear the noise of someone coming downstairs. I don’t even have to question who it is, as I hear:

“Morning ladies.” His voice sounds huskier than it did last night. God, what is it with him?

“Hey Nick.” We reply. “Actually Nick, I need to speak to you and Y/N.” Katie tells him as I grab a glass of water. “Adam and I were talking last night, and we had an idea for some...special wedding tasks for you two.” I raise an eyebrow, and Nick gives me a questioning look. I shake my head, symbolising I have no idea what she means. Katie clears her throat. “We thought that Y/N should show you around town, Nick!” I almost choke on my water.

“What?” I gasp.

“Yeah, I mean, it gives you two the chance to get closer, which is going to be useful for the wedding.” She explains. “And it’ll help you to get to know the town again Y/N!”

“I mean, yeah, sounds good.” Nick nods. No, it doesn’t sound good. That sounds like everything I don’t want to happen. Nick was great, but I did not want to fall back in love with this town and remember all the memories I tried so hard to forget. But then, I look into the eyes of my baby sister, and I know I can’t break her heart. Especially not before her wedding. Even if it hurts me, I sigh and nod.

“Nick’s right. It sounds good.” Katie’s face lights up.

“Thanks guys!” She pulls us both into a hug. Now I definitely can’t break her heart and say no. “You two can start today.” She grins. “But don’t keep her out too late Nick, I need her back here to help make the centrepieces later.” She winks. “Have fun.” She whispers, heading upstairs.

“So...when do you wanna start?” I ask Nick.

“Well, if you want, we could go for a walk later today?” He offers.

“Sure. Just let me get some food and get ready, then we can head out.” I tell him, and he agrees, before also heading upstairs. And then, I’m alone.

Like I said before, It’s going to be a long three weeks.

[hazard-and-friends]

i watched the first episode of canine intervention tonight, here’s some uncensored liveblogging featuring my spicey dog training takes:

“my dog training system is known all over the world" mhmm. lemme google this guy.

by clicking through his in person training site to his online remote training course, i found a whole lot of big red flags: "Establish pack leadership" dogs don't have pack leaders. anyone who wants to make you a leader is not using a good understanding of dog behavior "Time your praise and corrections" the times when i use corrections are when i'm the least on my game. my goal is NEVER to use corrections/positive punishment. why should i? it's concerning that he uses it as a core part of his method. "Exercise and reinforce your leadership as a way of life" more leadership bullshit.

fancy letters are not the end-all-be-all, and there are trainers i seriously respect who have none of them. but they don't talk about leadership and corrections. it's concerning that he talks about his sports team as a kid, where he went to high school, and his celebrity clients, but not his mentors and education in training.

back to the show

why does his facility have enough dogs to keep them in kennels? how does that teach aggressive dogs how to be safe in a home environment?

not all of the dogs in the first shot of a class (~1:38) have two collars on but a lot do. that's not a red flag (i worked sydney in two collars [her flat collar and a martingale, because syd was very gear smart and it was nice to tell her that we were doing heeling now]) but with what i saw on his website? it's quite likely that one of those is the dog's normal flat collar with tags, and the other is a prong, choke chain, or electric collar

also: "I help the dogs that no one else will" is a flat out lie

if you're willing to take on any human aggression cases, generally you’re willing to take on all of them. now, some of these cases may generally lead to a recommendation of euthanasia. but that's in the best interests of the dog and owner

oop class shot where it's clear that they're wearing prongs

here's two points not about this guy specifically: 1) it is hard (impossible?) to do humane, ethical dog training in a 45 minute episode slot. it's not good tv. it's slow as hell. there's no drama. the aggression trainers i know? have never been bitten. many have never been CLOSE to being bitten. no tv value. 2) the positive dog training community is OVERWHELMINGLY white and middle class.

it's also full of racists.

"Nearly a million dogs are euthanized yearly and over 40% of them are pit bulls" i've calculated that first statistic myself, but it's important to put it in context: this is USA specific, and that's down from 3-4 million 20 years ago. the second one, i would love to see his source.

he's right that it's important to understand where aggression comes from

anyway back to those two points, at the same time that it's really, really hard to do compelling TV with ethical dog trainers, it's also really REALLY important that the positive dog training community be working on being anti-racist. and it's really, really important that low income dog owners and people of color are getting good dog training.

alright first case! he's had her 3 months, 3 bites in that time. 10 attempted attacks. she's a young adult bully breed mix who had one front leg amputated after being shot. owner walks her in a muzzle which is a) too small and b) not bite proof.

"I see what we're working with" he says, after approaching a dog in her crate. hazard responds similarly to someone coming in, but he's not a bite risk. that's not a good evaluation.

he is correct about lady macbeth's motivations: this is a dog who's scared as hell and making herself really big and scary so that everyone leaves her alone.

okay he's also right that playing with her around strangers is really, really good for fear aggression

"frenzied just chaotic state" yeah no

reality check for y'all: i am not an aggression specialist and i have seen more freaked out dogs

she was on edge! she was unhappy! but holy shit was she not even remotely close to what dogs are capable of

"she just bit me!" she nipped your cheek, not breaking skin. that's a level 1 or 2 (of 6). that's not NOTHING but it's well within normal for a dog who's being restrained when she wants to be somewhere else.

[note that at no point in the episode was the owner ever given any sort of indication that lady macbeth is not this horribly aggressive Pit Bull TM. nor was there any discussion of a bite scale.]

"The only option we're gonna have is to [board and train] for 3 weeks" "I have no choice but to take her back to my facility back in San Jose and work daily with her" no!!!!!

[15 minute break]

lmao sorry i had to go yell at gf about how much this board and train is not necessary and in the process penny decided to cause Drama again

ANYWAY, the b&t is not necessary because all of those aggressive incidents bar the first could have been avoided if the owner was on the ball. this is not JUST a lady macbeth issue, this is ALSO an owner issue. both of them need to relearn how to handle new people.

as a bonus, lady macbeth needs to learn to trust her owner, which she categorically cannot do in a b&t

"The box is an important training tool to teaching new behaviors. It's also a first step in establishing pack leadership" ok this is new to me

and new is not a good thing here

text: Obedience depends on a dog's trust and respect for their pack leader calculus depends on your trust and respect for your math teacher! if you respect them a lot you will magically be able to do calc!

I WAS HOPING. I WAS TRYING.

i was HOPING that his training for her fear aggression would be based in toy play.

instead he's got a fake arm and he keeps reaching out to poke her, and the owner says "no!" and does a leash pop (leash wrapped around her neck) every time she tries to bite.

"She doesn't know it's not his hand" it smells like plastic what would she THINK it is

also funky that we're 19 minutes into the episode about an aggressive bully breed mix and the trainer's childhood bully breed mix who killed a dog, and like. not a single mention of what these dogs were bred for.

let's go back to "how are you teaching aggressive dogs to live nicely in a home, if they are spending most of the day in a wire kennel"

for shits take, high school doesn't teach you how to handle your emotions! why should obedience class teach your dog the same?

and then like, every time she breaks the down he yells NOPE and leans over her??????

dude you're scaring her into being obedient. while you're talking about how it's important to treat her fear.

text: Fear based aggression can be reduced by desensitizing the dog to strangers you're right! it sure can! THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE

you've got a dog on her side with one hand over her, the other on a skinny check chain on her neck. every time she does anything but lay flat, the leash is popped and you say no. you are flooding this dog and creating learned helplessness.

jo summed it up well with this: he's good at seeing the behavior, he knows what he's looking at, he just can't change it. he only knows one method.

jo and i are now trying to figure out if "dog training but marie kondo not cesar milan" is a viable tv show

jas correctly stops the friend and changes how he approaches the dog, that's a good response

i'm laughing bc after a 3 week board and train which is not going to be less than $4k, he's giving the exact same "how to meet new people" directions that i would give to a similar client--at the start of our time! not at the end!

"I can't imagine imagine a dog having it too much worse than she did, the fact that she took a gunshot, the fact that she had no security for years of her life" alright dude a) think worse, this PALES to abuse cases b) let's not? shittalk? the care that people without reliable housing give to their dogs (and occasional cat!)?? because what they do for their pets is incredible, and it isn't necessarily connected to her opinions on strangers

so yeah still laughing bc like. that "happy ending" would be my first session with a client. that's how you START handling stranger danger. and for this the owner paid thousands.

[elyscien]

in tandem with my previous post    ---    ella did NOT want plans for the isle to go through. she’s a character that is full of love and care, through and through. in all adaptations of her story, she chose to forgive. she forgave her step-mother and her step-sisters. her entire arc was about choosing kindness. and this doesn’t change in desc verse at all ( and i like to think i have free rein with this bc there are no canon desc. references to her, really ). during auradon’s formation and the uniting of the kingdoms, there was saturated fear and paranoia about the villains, propaganda made from all sources    ---    the villains had ruined their lives, hurt them, abused them, took people from them. how to keep these families and their future children safe? it took but one suggestion for most people to agree : the isle. a place to keep the villains separated and away. meaning their world would be away from any potential danger threats.

but ella hated the idea of imprisoning people, of bringing them back from the dead. it went against every one of her values and her morals and she felt it was wrong, unjust, and inhumane. being one of the prominent rulers of this newly formed auradon, she had a voice and she used it. every single meeting, she spoke out against its creation. however, she was with child and her unborn baby was used as leverage against her    ---    could she live peacefully in a world where danger always lurked, where these powerful villains could take everything away in an instant? it came down to the villains or the safety of her children. and when put in that position, she chose safety of her children, vowing to never let them grow up in a world where they couldn’t be safe. 

the gif at the top is so important because that’s how i see her having this very conversation with her husband, being so torn about it and upset, unhappy with the decisions she’s being forced to make, and the new world she’s now forced to adapt to.

so, for ella, what got her through it was convincing herself that it was for her baby, that it was for the safety of all future children in auradon    ---    not yet considering the very real fact that children would be born on the isle, as well. and as the years went by, she grew comfortable in auradon’s bubble. because of her upbringing, she grew up become a prominent figure in auradon, a major philanthropist. she’s founded and funded numerous charities and foundations, focusing on the lives of children, determined to ensure none of them would live the same life she did. 

even after learning that there were children on the isle, she remained out-numbered    ---    auradon had enough of its issues ( sidekick mistreatment, lack of rights for sentient animals, just to name a few from the long, long list of everything wrong with auradon ) that it couldn’t just drop it all and focus on the isle. so she told herself    ---    after things in auradon were fixed, they would help the children of the isle. but it never happened all those years. until ben.

[nami-writes]

Bittersweet Reunion - Watch Dogs: Legion [WIP]

(can you tell i had no clue what to name this)

so i wrote this after i played wdl and finished the finding bagley mission bc i loved that there was a canon mlm pairing and i thought the whole meeting bradley thing was Incredibly unsatisfying so i did this and originally i was gonna have bagley and arthur get back together but then it started writing itself and bagley wouldnt date arthur bc that’d go against his morals and i was like shit thats not what i planned but also i realized it was in character so this is that disaster lmao

“I’m ready for the rest of my life, Arthur. And I want you to be a part of it.”

The sixth audio file ended with what sounded like a kiss, and Lindsey had to pause to take it in. Bagley had really had a life— a lover. A lover he had to leave behind.

“Arthur… I should remember more about him. But I don’t.”

It sounded so rushed, so nonchalant, that Lindsey knew better than to believe his tone and even Bagley himself knew it. Because, truth was, he was processing the same things Lindsey was and more. He really was damned to eternity, being a human turned AI and all, because now he was experiencing quite a lot of thoughts and certainly not enjoying it. Where was Arthur now? Did he still remember him? Did he miss him? Why was Bagley even wondering if his not-boyfriend still missed him?

Some part of his human half wondered if it’s possible to find Arthur again, meet the person his past self was so deeply in love with that now he found himself longing for him too.

“Sir—”

“Don’t touch me!”

Bagley was pulled out of the thoughts growing less and less artificial by the second as the next audio file began, already far more emotionally charged than the ones prior.

“These people are here to help you, Bags—”

“Don’t call me that!”

He’s snappish and frustrated and angry and current Bagley could almost feel it too. There’s more struggling as Bagley— past Bagley— seemed to be fighting someone off.

“She did this! Someone stop her!”

‘She’ must’ve been Skye Larsen, who else could it have been? He wanted to hope Natalie would listen— just listen, goddammit, this was all Skye’s fault, don’t you know what she’s done?— but he knew it was no use. They didn’t know. Natalie didn’t know. Not a fucking soul knew what she did to him.

“Don’t hurt him! He’s not usually like this!”

“Get out of my head! Get o—”

His voice died out as more noise played, then an unfamiliar voice called for an ambulance.

“Bags. Bagley. Bra—”

And it ended there.

“I’m assuming that ‘she’ was Skye Larsen,” he said to Lindsey. “Seems like the usual suspect where brain fuckery is concerned.” As controlled as he usually was, not even he could keep the slightest bit of anger out of his voice by the end of his sentence.

The next audio file began with a man explaining that Bagley had early on-set dementia, which intrigued him because it didn’t explain when exactly Skye got her hands on him. Then the sister from prior audio files spoke with that same strangely familiar voice, just as demanding as before. “You listen to me. I don’t care what it takes. No brother of mine is going to waste away in some hospital.”

Something was wrong. There was a piece missing somewhere between those memories and he had an idea of where it could be found.

Skygarden.

“Why do I have a feeling we’re not up here to reminisce?” The audio began as Lindsey snapped the last photo.

“Right. I’ve been thinking a lot about your epilepsy.” The sister. Of course. He still couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but she sounded awfully familiar, but not in a good way. In a this-person-has-the-same-name-as-my-primary-school-bully way.

“That’s nice. My doctors stopped thinking about it years ago. I had to give up so much because of it. Rowing, my mates, my…” A sigh followed after he trailed off and he had a feeling that that sigh replaced the word ‘boyfriend.’

“I’m sorry, Bradley.” Bradley. That name sounded familiar. Come to think of it, that must’ve been what Natalie called him in the seventh audio file just before it cut off. He supposed it sounded familiar because, well, it is— was— his name, but there was something more to it. He just couldn’t figure out what. He ran a quick search for Bradleys in London, but of course that left him with thousands of Bradleys and not a single clue as to how to filter out the useless ones.

“Wow. Look at you using my real name for once. I must be truly fucked.” Fucked was an understatement. How did he go from a human to nothing more than an AI? It wasn’t that he was unhappy as an AI, especially considering he worked for DedSec and they were wonderful, they really were, but to think he was once human…

“What if I told you I had something that could work?”

Something deep inside of him that vaguely resembled a computerized heart dropped at those words. He had a bad, bad feeling about this.

“Ha. Never knew you were funny.”

But Skye Larsen created him, didn’t she?

“I’m not. It’s a tech we’re developing. It’s early stages, but… have you ever heard of neural mapping?”

“No.” No, it couldn’t be.

“Here. Let’s go to my lab. I’ll show you.”

Who was this sister?

“Lead the way, Skye.”

And the audio ended.

“I was Skye Larsen’s brother.” It was strange to say out loud. “I’m Bradley. Bradley Larsen.” That was why she sounded so familiar. That was why Skye Larsen was his creator. Fuck. “Bradley Larsen…” He returned to his search for Bradleys and narrowed it down to one Bradley Larsen, brother of Skye Larsen, son of Sinead and Kevin Larsen. “I’ve found a room pre-paid through to April 4, 2040 under the name of Bradley Larsen— paid for by S. Larsen.” Skye.

“So you might still be alive,” Lindsey said. “Where’s the room?”

He checked his databases. “St. Pancras Hotel.”

And when she arrived, it was no less than what he expected, if less than what he wanted.

He left not quite satisfied.

But what else could he do? His father was gone and his mother and sister were dead. He checked his deep profiler and found Natalie through Bradley, but it seemed she was dead as well. And then— Arthur Jenkins, former spouse. 

“I think I’ve found Arthur from the sixth audio file,” he said. “Mind getting him for me?”

“Say the word, Bags,” Lindsey said.

He found his schedule and looked for his soonest outing. “He’ll be at Crosier & Cherry Tree at 8 PM.” There was a tinge of sadness in his voice at the location that they both decided to ignore.

He checked the rest of Arthur’s profile, too curious to resist. His photo was attached. To his surprise, Arthur was a curly-haired ginger. Apparently Bradley had known more people with no souls than just Skye Larsen. Age 29, worked as a bartender at Crosier & Cherry�� that was why he’d be there. Associated with Melissa Phillips, friend; Natalie Walker, deceased friend; and Bradley Larsen, former spouse. Metadata… looking through it could’ve broken his heart if he had one.

He had countless searches involving dementia up until he was 28 and had hundreds of recorded visits to St. Pancras Hotel, Bradley’s room. Hundreds of visits that, when he accessed the records, seemed to just… stop. Daily-to-weekly visits simply vanished into none. Numerous phone calls to Skye Larsen that Bagley could only assume were angry and accusational because he was charged for harassment due to a complaint from Skye on the same day he stopped visiting.

He tried. He really tried, and then Skye fucked it all up like she always does.

“Bagley, I’ve found him.” He turned his attention to Lindsey’s Optik and, sure enough, he could see the ginger in the photo through the glass window. “Want me to bring him back to the Hackerspace?”

He considered it, but bringing him back would’ve meant involving the others. This was just a one-time thing. “No, just— could you get him somewhere I could talk privately with him?”

“Sure thing.” He watched as she entered the pub and approached Arthur at the counter.

“‘Ello, mate, what can I get for you?” he asked, uncannily cheery with a smile on his face. Something told Bagley this should’ve made him feel… something, but he felt not even a twinge of recognition from anywhere other than the photo on his digital profile.

“I’m here to talk to you, actually,” Lindsey said.

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow and took a second to look her over a second time, his customer service smile fading into skepticism. “Do I know you?”

“No, but I know someone you do. Mind if we talk somewhere else?”

He shrugged. “S’pose not. Better get it on with, then, I’ve got to get back to work.”

Shit. Time was running out and they were already heading to a back room and Bagley hadn’t a fucking clue what to say so when he was cast onto the nearest unwatched telly before Lindsey left, all he could think to say was “Hello, Arthur.”

And then there was a silence where Bagley was internally cursing himself for being such a bloody idiot and Arthur looked like either he was about to drop to his knees in awe or he had shit himself. And then he broke the silence.

“Bradley?” His eyes were lit up with hope, hope Bagley knew he’d have to destroy because he wasn’t Bradley, not really. But he’d worry about that later.

“Oh, Gods, that’s going to be my version of Bradley’s stupid nickname, isn’t it? Though, if you ask me, Bagley is a perfectly good name,” he remarked. He had no idea how to properly handle a situation in which he was meeting the lover he had in a past life, so, naturally, he reverted to his usual self. Arthur was in love with him before, he can put up with him again.

Arthur chuckled, cracking a smile. “Now I know you aren’t Bradley. He hated that nickname.” He took another moment to comprehend what just happened. “But, really, how? How are you— what are you? What is” —he gestured vaguely at the TV screen— “this?”

“That’s a funny story, actually, see—”

“Bradley,” Arthur interrupted him, his smile turning solemn. “I’m serious. Last time I saw you, you were in a bloody wheelchair! What happened to you?”

There was another silence where Bagley tried to think of something ‘serious’ to say, but his actual response felt much more natural to him.

“Don’t call me that,” he said, a feigned grumble but unseen smile in his voice, “that’s not my name.”

And at that, not even Arthur could keep a straight face, but his smile didn’t last long. “Bags. Please. I need answers. I was so sure it was that bitch Skye— sorry, I know she’s your sister and all, but— I spent so long searching for ways to help you and trying to get her to fucking stop— you only ended up in the bloody hospital after she got involved and then she wouldn’t let me keep seeing you and I couldn’t—” His voice broke then and he had to pause, clear his throat and collect himself. “I’m sorry, I tried, I didn’t want to stop visiting. I really didn’t. I’m sorry.”

Bagley didn’t know how to tell him it was all in vain; Skye won in the end, she always did, and he didn’t even remember being Bradley or knowing Arthur at all. As far as he remembered, he’d only known Arthur for five minutes.

“Bagley?”

“It doesn’t matter.” There was no use in prolonging it.

“...What?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he repeated. “I’m not Bradley.”

“Are you mad? Of course you’re Bradley.’

“No, I’m not. Bradley is still in St. Pancras. I’m Bagley.”

Arthur gave a confused chuckle and crossed his arms. “What are you talking about?”

“It was Skye,” he finally said. “It’s a long story, really, but in simpler terms, she tried to fix Bradley’s epilepsy through a process called neural mapping. It essentially separated his consciousness from his body, which gave him dementia and took my human body. I’m his consciousness, but I’m not him.”

Arthur didn’t respond. He seemed to still be processing what he’d just heard.

“And I’m sorry to say, but my memory was wiped not long after my creation. I don’t… remember anything about being Bradley.” He paused. Arthur knew what that meant, and he knew that his next sentence was going to confirm it. “I don’t remember anything about you.”

Arthur took far longer to respond than Bagley would’ve liked. “So you’re—” He stopped. “So Bradley’s really gone.”

“Unfortunately so.”

More silence. “Then why are you here?”

That was a good question, actually. Why was he here?

“I suppose I came to say goodbye,” Bagley said. “Give you some closure on Bradley, so you know what happened. I know you two were quite close.”

He scoffed. “Close is an understatement.” His voice softened. “We were going to get married,” he said. “At least, I think we were. If Skye hadn’t gotten involved— if I’d only had the time— I was going to propose. Had a ring in mind and everything. I’m fairly sure Bradley knew, too. I just wanted us to have that one thing before… before it was too late.”

Bagley had to take a second to let it sink in. In a past life, he’d almost gotten married. How much had he missed out on as a human because of Skye? His voice was solemn as he spoke, a first for him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.” Arthur offered no elaboration before something else seemed to cloud his mind. Silence seemed to be something both of them were good at. Bagley considered directly asking what was on his mind, but Arthur spoke before he could decide. “Can I ask something of you?”

“Ask away. I’ve only got the rest of my non-life.”

“...Could we try it again?” he asked, hesitation in his words. At Bagley’s confused silence, he uncrossed his arms, a willing show of vulnerability. “I mean, could we try… us, again? I know you don’t remember anything about me or Bradley and you’re not Bradley, I know that, but— maybe something good could come out of it. Maybe— maybe we could still have something.”

“You want us to…” He trailed off, thinking it over. By ‘something,’ he meant a relationship, but— could he be in a relationship? He was still an AI. He wasn’t Bradley. He wasn’t even attracted to Arthur. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he could feel attraction, if that was built into his operating system. Everything in him wanted to say no, it would never work out. An AI taking part in human affairs was a recipe for disaster.

“We could start from the beginning,” Arthur added, as if he knew what Bagley was thinking before he even said it. “I know you don’t really know me so we can start out just friends, nothing more. We can take it as slow as you want and if you decide there’ll never be anything more, we can just stay as friends if that’s what you’re comfortable with. But if you think there can be more, we can try that.”

It was tempting, but… Arthur was still human. And Bagley was not. “Arthur, I’m not sure I was made for this.”

“Then let’s find out,” he said. “I’m okay with anything you are.”

“No, I mean I’m not sure I was made to feel attraction. I believe that’s a fairly important part of relationships,” Bagley said with a hint of humor in the last sentence, though it disappeared by the next. “I’ve never felt that way toward anyone and I’m not sure you’ll be an exception.”

He sighed. “Bags. It doesn’t matter to me whether you like me as a friend or as a boyfriend. What matters is whether or not you’re comfortable with me. I didn’t fall in love with your attraction. I fell in love with you.”

“You fell in love with Bradley,” he corrected. “Not me.”

Regardless of how tempting the offer was and how curious he was to see the extent of his human capabilities, it’d only be an experiment. A trial run of a relationship with someone who was only willing because he was still attached to the person Bagley no longer was. It would be cruel to take advantage of Arthur’s hope for his own curiosity— no different from what Skye did to Bradley. He might’ve had his human body stripped from him, but he still had his humanity.

“Arthur, I’m not Bradley,” he said. “And I know it’s hard to accept, but I can’t be the person you want me to be.”

[darknessisafriend]

Prompt(? Or a request idk lol. Anyway, I just got this idea in my head but what about reader takes Joker to one of those fancy parties (bc her parents invited her) but when she shows up with Joker everyone gets freaky bc they think he's going to kill them but reader calms them down and tells them that he won't do anything if they don't provoke him and both enjoy the party (bonus points if Joker gets jealous) Sorry if this sounds like a crazy idea(? But I got it in my mind all day

Sorry if it took a while for me to write it ^^’ I hope you’ll like it :) 

Isn’t this supposed to be a party?

“There´s a party tonight.” you said to your Joker, coming to stand in front of him; he was fully lying down on the sofa, looking at the ceiling, pondering about…whatever he was pondering about.

“Hmmm?” he hummed

“On the posh side of the city, my parents invited me, it´s some sort of business gala. They want me to get my hands on a ‘big fish’…” you clarified and you knew this would made him react. The atmosphere suddenly tensed up and he let out a dangerous chuckle, he turned his head to look at you in the eyes, his eyes dark and possessive.

“Then, you won´t go. You´re with me now” you settled yourself on top of him with a smirk, caressing his torso.

“I have a better idea… why don´t you come with me, to make the official presentations…” you suggested, to this he straightened up, putting his hands around your hips.

“Oh, I love it when you’re like this” he grinned before capturing your lips, you teasingly bit his lower lip before leaving his lap, under his unhappy groan.  

You went to prepare yourself, picking up a long red dress with a slit on the side, this one will definitely make you seen by every person present at the party. Then, you went to see your lover, he was in front of the mirror in the living room. You leaned against the door frame, watching him fix his hair by passing his fingers through them.

“How’s my makeup?” he asked you, feeling your eyes on him; his eyes left the mirror to look at you.

“Perfect as always” he grinned proudly at your answer.

“I’d love to apply this red of yours on my lips, we’d be matching.” you smiled.

“Come” he instructed you; so you left your spot and went to sit on his lap, he picked up his paint brush and took some of the red of paint. Then, he applied the red on your lips with concentration, in this moment he reminded you of Arthur when he applied his Carnival makeup with great care. In the meantime, you could detail all aspects of his face shamelessly, his eyes were probably your favorite. He was so beautiful; he had always been.

He smiled satisfied by his work on your lips. Then, his eyes trailed down your body, looking at your gorgeous outfit, too beautiful, too perfect, he felt his jealousy rise in his chest.

“I don’t like how men are going to look at you tonight.” you smirked at how quick to jealousy he was, and it was what you wanted, you wanted him to show everyone tonight that you were with him.  

“I should take you right now” he groaned as his desire started to form in his lower body.  

“Hold that for the after party” you cooed, closing the gap between the two of you, the kiss sealing this promise.

“You’ll have to go alone; I’ll join you after a bit” spoke Joker as he parted from you, lightning up his cigarette, you made disappointed pout and got up of his lap.  

“I have some business to deal with, baby” he grabbed you by the waist, crashing you against him “I’ll make it worth the wait.” you smirked excited to see what he would do.

So, Joker’s driver came to pick you up and drive you to the party; you were annoyed by the circumstances but you couldn’t wait for your lover to make his entrance, you knew you weren’t going to be disappointed. As you entered the room at the top of the building, many turned to look at you, you realized how many people there were. Your eyes searched for your parents and when you finally found them, you took a deep breath, ignoring the look of the people as you crossed the room to join them.  You had barely the time to say ‘hello’ to them that they already tried to hook you up with someone.

“Honey, this is Robert, the son of the director of Gotham Central Bank.” introduced your mother, insisting on the last words, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. The man wasn’t so bad to look at, but his whole look meant ‘boring’ a wore of those chic suits just like any other man of the room, he had this typical business man face and his conversation was just as boring. You simply smiled and hoped for your lover to arrive soon, the man was somehow starting to think he had a chance with you.

“Maybe we could talk somewhere quieter” suggested the guy with a smirk, he made you wanna throw up, if only he knew who you belonged to.  

Right in time, you were both startled by a loud slam of the door. A red silhouette appearing; and you instantly recognized him, your unique lover, Joker, had arrived to save you from this boring company. The whole room was dead silent, everyone looked at him petrified, he was accompanied by two clown masked guards who were scanning the room and make sure nobody would try to call the cops.

Joker stood, motionless, enjoying how everyone paid attention to him but he didn’t look at anyone, there was only one person worth of interest in his life. His eyes locked on yours, he looked at you hungrily has if he had been away from you for too long already. He crossed the room until he arrived right in front of you and grabbed by the back of your head, kissing you passionately on the lips, earning several shocked gasps from the audience.  

“I hope I didn’t miss too much baby.” he purred against your lips, placing another eager kiss on them. You grinned; this was exactly how you liked him, possessive and hungry for you.

Your boyfriend directed his gaze to the man that had been flirting with you and his eyes defied him to compete for your love; yes, Joker had understood the man had been flirting with you, but the businessman was too much of a coward to do anything. You realized the room was still silent, everyone looking at the both of you, your parents were frozen, lost in what they were seeing, how could you not be terrified and crying?!

“Don’t do anything stupid and nothing will happen to you, come on guys, enjoy this party!” you encouraged them, you wanted to enjoy the night with your lover just like any other couple. The people went back to their occupation but the tension remained.

Joker was still looking at the guy in the eyes probably debating whatever he should already kill him or not; and as much as you were tempted to encourage him, you had a better idea.

“This gentleman here is the son of the director of Gotham Central Bank and works there.” you revealed mischievously; Joker understood your suggestion and grinned playfully  

“Then, I’ll have to pay you a little visit there one day” he replied on a threatening tone, making the man gulp.

“S-sure…” he stuttered; you wouldn’t be surprised if he wetted himself right now, satisfied you took your lovers arm to direct him to you parents

“This is Joker, my boyfriend. Love, this my parents” at your words Joker’s eyes soften, these two people were not adversaries but probably important people in your life, just like his mother used to before she betrayed him. You looked at him waiting for a reaction he seemed to have zoned out until he finally went back to reality and flashed a big grin at your mom before joyfully taking her in his arms and giving her a big kiss on the cheek. She gasped in surprise; she was probably expecting to be assaulted but certainly not this, you smiled at your lover’s behavior, who was now shaking your father’s hand, looking at him in the eyes; he reminded you of Arthur before his metamorphosis.  

You both enjoyed party, eating some of finest food of the city and talking with your parents and even though people still eyed him in fear, nothing bad happened and you were so happy he had joined you and accepted to take part in this aspect of your life. Hopefully none of the guest will talk about your relationship with Joker, they were probably too scared of the repercussions if they did. You wished the whole event wasn’t so inhibited and that there was some music to dance on with your boyfriend. You wanted to leave now and he was starting to get bored too, he smirked reading your mind.

“I think we are going to leave.” you announced to your parents, as you felt your lover’s arm around your waist slide lower, you hide a grin at his impatience.

“Yeah we have something much more fun planned…” he purred leaning to hungrily kiss your jaw.  

You wished your parents goodnight, and headed out, under the look of the crowd both dumbstruck at your intimacy with him and relieved that he was finally leaving. In the elevator you enlaced your arm around his neck, placing small kisses on his lips.

“Thank you” you murmured lovingly, burying your fingers in his green locks.  

“Anything for you baby.” he replied before closing the gap between your mouths in a passionate kiss, and something told you the elevator ride was going to be much more exciting than you thought.

Tag list: @cigznvalentines @skaravile @help-i-am-obssessed @arthurfleckjoker2019 @theartistdetective @lyoongx @jaylovesbats @niniitah-ah @soulsdontbreaktheybeeend @fleckcmscott @obssessedandthirsty @weirdflecksbutok @stardancerluv

[eyeslikefoxglove]

Episode 21 - The PTSD is strong with this one & we need more braincells

Hello hello! Welcome to the commentary. How’s everyone? I’m frozen solid because it’s mid-June in Spain and yet we had 11°C yesterday. Fucking awesome!

I AM NOT WEARING MASCARA SO I CAN CRY ALL I WANT. I DONT KNOW IF THATS GOOD OR BAD THO.

Can I just take a second to appreciate how much this big strong powerful men emote? I mean, I know this isn’t western media where the tough guy can’t show emotions, and I don’t know that eastern media has the same hangups about men emoting but just... it’s so refreshing.

Huaisang bb you’re so sweet.

Oh, oh the PTSD is strong with this one.

Also, bless both JC and NHS, they absolutely noticed WWX flinch and, in their own ways, went and steamrolled over it so WWX wouldn’t feel scrutinised.

WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YALL THAT I GOT A KITTEN ON MY LAP. (She’s kneading my boob, which, ow, but...)

*BICHEN GRIIIIIIIP*

How do y’all think the guards go deliver bad news to WRH? Like do they paper-rock-scissor it? Draw straws?

NMJ did you have to?

And once again I wonder what would’ve happened if JFM had let sect leader Yao kick it.

Ughvhfnevus it’s this clown. Same as with Su She, if you see a bunch of screaming it’s just me not wanting to listen to Jin ZiXun.

The Nies: let’s throw a banquet to honour WWX’s return

Every asshole there: *gossips about WWX while in the room with him*

Once again I wish I could transmigrate (and speak mandarin lol) and just start delivering tongue lashings.

Listen, I have no idea how to play Guqin, but I did play the guitar for years and even from here I can see how much YiBo’s hands don’t match the melody. Nothing against him but why does this always happen? I know they got classes, so was the music not written by that time or something? Because one thing is not hitting the correct notes, another is plucking slow notes when the tempo is much faster.

JC: Since yours and LWJ’s unhappy separation...

My dumbass: do you mean breakup? *eyebrow waggle*

You will pry my “JC knows his brother is pinning after LWJ, he probably doesn’t want to know anything else” hc out of my cold dead hands thankyouverymuch.

WWX: *spouts a bunch of misdirection to avoid giving JC a straight answer*

JC: Bull-fucking-shit.

Should I count how many times WWX PTSDs all over the place or would you like me to leave your hearts intact? That’s two so far.

Ok ok, I feel that, if someone with a bit less trauma and a bit of insight (NHS maybe?) had seen the bit where ChenQing fucking hurts Shijie thing would’ve gone differently. I mean, yes, LWJ keeps warning WWX that this shit is gonna fuck him up, but as I said in my previous commentary LWJ also has the communication skills of a hermit crab so that wouldn’t work, and JC would be too wound up and WWX too busy trying to conceal his lack of golden core for that conversation to go anywhere. But if someone who WWX knows is a good egg (I’m not gonna say trusts bc paranoia) had sat him down and told him “your new instrument that you use for your new form of cultivation just hurt the person you love most please be careful when you use it.” I think it would’ve worked wonders towards his health overall.

I know Shijie says it’s like Zidian, but she’s not working with the fact that this thing is made for and by the Dark Side of the Force and I’m sorry but I can’t help but see ChenQing as a bit of a horrocrux almost. Or like, if you like me think the Burial Mounds is an Entity, something that’s a bit more sentient that it lets on.

Speaking of reputations and NHS being a good egg, I have oh-so-many ideas (I won’t say plot bunnies because I can’t write for shit) in which NHS for Reasons (time-travel? Letter from the future? His massive brain?) realises just how much damage WWX is doing to his public image. And he might be a sheltered dandy, but he saw what being the son of a sex worker did to Meng Yao despite how hard he worked (I’m assuming he doesn’t know about the whole betrayal business). This is way fucking worse, like hell is he going to let one of his best friends paint a target on his back. So he pulls back his sleeves, engages his slytherin brain and proceeds to lay down a plan to throughly destroy WWX’s reputation as a powerful genius.

I’m guessing LWJ and JC protest, and maybe WWX, and NHS just hits them with “do you want him respected or alive?” And they shut tf up. He glues himself to WWX, and brings up as many instances in which their behaviour can be compared as he can (we got drunk and punished at cloud recesses, we slept in class, we skipped to go fishing, I don’t carry my sword either). And, because assholes be assholes, people like Sect Leader Yao or Clown Cousin are quick to start spouting their own derogatory bullshit and thus WWX the untamed powerful prodigy dies a fiery death. Now he’s just a mouthy kid with a quick mind that “does tricks instead of battle” (I’ll never get bored of using that Thor quote). I also like to think that people who personally know WWX and are not pieces of shit go give NHS a tongue lashing for messing with what they thought was his friend, NHS takes that as a test of good eggness and bring them into the plan. Soon the whole Cloud Recesses class is swearing up, down, left, right and centre that all the shit WWX has ever successfully pulled is just an insane amount of luck and quick thinking.

I don’t know how would they work him into the battlefield (disguise? Mask?) to unleash his demonic cultivation but that’s Plot and I don’t do that.

Also, because I’m a terrible human being I want to say that people assume LWJ is on “pretty but useless” WWX like white on rice because *insert derogatory comment about being good in bed and sexual favours*. Because y’all know the assholes here are Like That. And WWX is horrified because holy fucking shit he’s gonna drag LWJ’s reputation down, he can’t have people thinking HGJ is ok with having him as a concubine pretty much. But before he can act LWJ politely all but confirms that yeah, he’s tapping that, y’all wish you were but he doesn’t share and none of y’all are good enough for his Wei Ying anyway. CUE FAKE/PRETEND RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I AM INDEED TRASH FOR THAT TROPE.

Muahahahaha y’all thought I was gonna devolve into my personal hcs and not include my fave trope? Shouldn’t y’all know me better by now?

(Btw I like this bit ^ so I might polish it a little and post it separately as well, just a warning if you find yourself reading an eerily similar post by me)

WuJi is playing and LWJ is pining so much. Also, if LWJ did not just realise that, just like Yu the Great, WWX had no other option but tame resentful energy I’ll eat my blanket.

I refuse to believe Jiang Yanli didn’t become the unofficial war camp therapist/sounding board/only sane person/everyone’s mum/I just need a hug and a corner to cry in peace. There are not enough fics about Shijie being her gentle BAMF self while in the camp and it’s a pity. My crops are dying y’all!

Also, I will fight anyone who scoffs at Shijie being the epitome of the “gentle woman who cooks and waits for the men to come back from war”. Look at her mum, do you think it is easy for a kid (she was a kid in the flashback when WWX ran away) to see that day in and day out, to have that as a “role model” and decide that she was not going to be like her mum? That she didn’t like what she saw in her so she was going to be kind and gentle? And do you think it is easy for a person barely in their twenties to deal with years of verbal and psychological abuse for again, being gentle and kind, and not grow a hard shell of bitterness to protect themselves? And to keep being gentle and kind while at war, with your parents dead and your siblings unraveling before your very eyes? Shijie is so fucking strong and I love her.

Hey look, the White Walkers!

“Resentful energy is just energy” ok, valid. But my dude, you’ve got black ghost smoke coming out of you and can hear people screaming in your head. I’m not saying it is evil, like someone’s uptight set in his ways arrogant uncle; but it sure as shit ain’t healthy.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (that’s a Clown Cousin scream btw)

Ok ok, just one little thing: IF SOMEONE ELSE CALLS WWX WEI YING AS A SHOW OF DISRESPECT IMMA SCALP THEM.

...are those crows eating that man alive? Yikes on bikes.

(Assume my comment about YiBo’s Guqin playing also goes for Xiao Zhan and his flute. I can’t play the flute but the tempo doesn’t match his fingers)

I’m just gonna say it, I think 3zun (well, 2zun as of now) suspect shit went down badly for WWX, that’s two questions by both of them in a very soft conciliatory tone. They are genuinely interested/worried about the topic, and don’t seem to come off as chiding or judgemental. I mean WWX is a weirdo irreverent kid and they’re sect leaders, they outrank him so much it’s ridiculous. I’m also counting the fact that both their baby brothers like him towards them being so kind. But I also think WWX just triggers all their big brother instincts the second he walks in.

Oh there’s a thought, Shijie, Wen Qing, NMJ and LXC take a look at everyone’s shitty parents and just decide to adopt everyone.

What happened at Yiling was a traumatised teenager (is WWX even 20?) PTSDing all over the place with the Dark Side of the Force whispering in his ear and an all powerful trinket at his disposal. Not saying I approve of all the torture and murder but he clearly isn’t revelling in them.

That is some outstanding bit of big-brothering on LXC’s side and I love it. Also, my dumbass just realised LWJ probably wasn’t quoting WWX when he was being punished (what is white what is black?) I think he was quoting his big brother. Which is magnitudes deep too, but in a different direction and I might love that scene even more.

Ok fuck it, I’m gonna tangent. So I had a terrible boyfriend when I was 15-18. He alienated me from my friends, sunk my self-esteem to the molten core of the earth, tried to convince me my parents were abusive and encouraged (aka threatened manipulated and cajoled) the slow tanking of my high school marks. I have A Problem when I see media where someone latches onto their significant other and everything they are shifts towards that person. Now, love, true genuine love, is powerful, and I believe it can be the catalyst for shifting your world-view for the better. I don’t have a problem with that. I don’t have a problem with people sticking with their romantic partner if it is clear their previous “family” is so much shit. I don’t have a problem with LWJ coming out of his shell and defying corrupt precepts because his love for WWX made them see they were wrong, or getting sassy and unrepentant during his punishment (I have a problem with the punishment bc that’s abuse but...). But I do side-eye WangXian being the only thing in their orbit. People need people, and WangXian have other good people around them. So I kind of love that yes, WWX showed him the system was corrupt, but it is the words of his brother he is sticking by to the defy said system.

Let’s go back to our scheduled slew of held pinning glances shall we?

LXC after That awkward run-in: WangJi I wasn’t gone that long, what the fuck did you two oblivious pining idiots do?

(LXC has “bitching” tea sessions with Shijie and you can’t convince me otherwise)

LWJ: *is being dramatic and not knocking on WWX’s door*

Me: oh my god you fucking idiot

Shijie: *walks in*

Me: oh thank god someone with a braincell.

Ah yes, there we go triggering WWX’s paranoia again. Why would he get a break.

OH MY GOD YOU PAIR OF FUCKING IDIOTS. THATS IT, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT.

@ LWJ: bitch wtf was that? I know you’re shit at talking but have you thought about writing it down? Letters anyone? It worked for mr. Darcy.

(Yes LWJ is mr darcy and now I want an au where LWJ writes WWX letters and just pours everything in them, WWX finds them, any everything is sunshine and rainbows)

While this bullshit fight/misunderstanding is all on LWJ’s shoulders, I’m also going to scream at WWX. Because yes, he is in PTSD hell, but he trusted LWJ before, and yet he can’t get past his perceived notion of LWJ’s character (and his own inadequacies) to trust him again and ask for help. Plus, you know, he thinks he doesn’t deserve he’ll bc *waves hand at WWX’s trauma conga line*

These episodes can’t be good for my BP.

Thanks for reading!

[erickatto]

look,  it’s  erick  atto,  did  you  know  they  now  work  as  a(n)  sober  coach  /  uber  driver  ?  you  know,  they  can  be  a  bit  collegal  &  impartial,  but  they’re  honestly  changeable  &  mulish.  when  i  hear  their  name  i  think  of  the  comforting  smell  of  homemade  cooking,  the  ready-to-volunteer  designated  driver,  brown  eyes  that  could  never  feel  like  a  stranger’s,  listening  to  the  bustle  of  the  city,  a  heart  to heart  they  also  seem  to  be  a  bit  thrilled  about  everyone  getting  together. 

FULL NAME: erick atto NICKNAME(S): rick, ricky DOB: october 4th, 1986 AGE: thirty-three GENDER: cis male  NATIONALITY: american  ETHNICITY: ughandian  HOMETOWN: willow, maine RELIGION: none, raised by roman catholic parents  SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): english ( fluent ), swahili ( hardy, much to the dismas of his mother ) OCCUPATION: uber driver  /  sober coach  

the one in the back 

hjHKJDHWKE i don’t know what to SAY about erick. he was the boy that had an odd affliction for kung-fu movies that followed him into his teens as much as his poster of jackie chan from the drunk master did ( i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s still in his room to this day, even if it’s been shoved to a corner wrapped back up ). odd hobbies aside, anyone with a problem would end up talking to erick, whether it was because they knew his nature from their own experiences or by a recommendation from a friend. he was a real problem-solver and had a way with people - and most importantly, he kept his mouth shut. 

erick didn’t necessarily need the validation from the dogs about his hobbies n other stuff - he was assured in the fact he liked them and that was kind of ?? all he needed. but knowing that they wanted to be involved ( even if that was just to make him feel involved ) meant a lot to him. he’s a quiet extrovert, for sure, and being around a group of louder personalities kept him balanced. he was definitely not one to miss out on a group outing and probably didn’t ?? ever. you could rely on erick to always be there because spending time in the group would always bring him comfort over being alone. i’m also imagining that he took a lead role in planning a lot of events because of this. if nothing was going on, he wanted to make sure something Was. he’s always found comfort in familiarity, which is ironic when you think about the fact he moved Away from all that. 

but as much as he loved the dogs, it was willow that he couldn’t stand. freedom from his parents sounded like something he could do with, even if it was only for a few years until college was finished. some extended family lived in new york - he’d visited a lot throughout his childhood and adolescence and became enamored with the city. it was only when a compromise was reached between him and his parents in which he could move there after graduation, given that he attended a community college there, that his dreams of moving there would be ultimately fulfilled. while in new york, he moved into a shared house with a cousin of his and some others desperate for housemates ( it wasn’t as if the city was short of them ). he attended college, as promised, picking the degree that made the most sense at the time which was business. looking back, it made little sense - but looking back, college altogether made little sense. he’d never responded too well to academic restraints. 

when studying at college, he was introduced into the world of cab driving. originally, it was more of a necessary evil in order to continue his payments for college. but after a few months - once he saw the money he could accrue from the same hours he was doing at a local hardware store as a cashier  - college became the secondary thing. with any increase in rides came an increase in money and truly, at that time, there was no better city than new york with its population just shy of 8 million - at least in comparison to willow. he eventually quit college and took cab driving full time.

somewhere along the way was an unhappy marriage, the result of a somewhat happy relationship. they were both young ( in their early twenties ) and it made sense at the time ( he really do be doing a lot of things bc they ‘make sense’ dfhkd ) ; he has a large array of family members and almost all of them are married and the same went for his wife. as with a lot of marriages, this one came with a pregnancy and quite soon, too. by the age of 24, erick was married and now a father. fast forward five years and a whole lot of same for erick, he found himself finalising a divorce. it wasn’t the messiest of divorces, but with there being a child involved, things were destined to be complex. neither parent was willing to take any less than full custody, which is why their only option was to settle for joint-custody. the two week by two week schedule worked for a few years, each parent living local to one another and having family to facilitate the handoffs. it worked until erick’s ex-wife moved back to her hometown near quebec city, canada. suddenly a journey between homes that took an hour max was going to push closer to ten. it wasn’t feasible. and so, for the sake of his kid, he moved back to willow, inching the eventual journey down to just a few hours, manageable enough for the both of them - but more imprtantly, fair for their daughter, violet. 

BASICALLY, he’s now 33 and has been living in willow again for the past four years. he moved back in with his parents and as much as he could, relied on his work with uber and local cab firms to help with the rent. his mother works in care and has done since erick was young. there was a volunteer opportunity in the local drugs and alcohol centre that she saw advertised and knowing that her son needed all the transferable skills he could get, she suggested it to him. after volunteering there for a year, when a job opportunity came up, erick took it and ran with it. he wanted something more than driving and tbh, the talking therapy he was providing to addicts was not too dissimilar to what he’d spent the past ten years doing as a cab driver. he genuinely adores his job for what it gives those he can help and for what it gives him. when he’s not at work, he’s with his daughter and that’s something he’s more than okay with. responsibility is a comfort to him in ways.

one of his worst traits is that he can be SO lazy. he’s a good cook ( his mom made Sure of that ), but instead of cooking his daughter a gorgeous meal, he’d much rather stick on some chicken nuggets and smiley faces bc it’s Easy and he’s tired. 

 i imagine he’s kept in touch with those who remained in willow ( especially in the past few years ) - and to those that flew willow’s nest, he’s used social media to keep it touch, even if that ‘touch’ only extended to a few likes on facebook profile pictures. 

wanted plots?

the person in the dogs erick kept in touch with the most ( mainly over facebook ) during his time in nyc. 

someone in the rats whom erick developed a friendship with post-high school ( again, likely started on facebook ).

an old flame 👀

someone who stayed in or has lived in willow for the past few years and has become a close friend of erick ; they help out a lot with violet when his parents can’t.

someone erick had eyes on during high school ... but they happened to be dating someone else at the time ( or he just never made a move )

ANYTH I NG GIB ME 

[27gravess]

Resurrection AU

Daenerys Resurrection AU, bc i refuse to believe what happened to her was real. Drogon took her east to the Red Priestess and she was brought back.

——————————————————————————

“What unites people?” Tyrion started

“Armies? Gold? Flags?” he shook his head, disdainfully looking at the ground.

“Stories. There is nothing in the world more powerful than a good story. I remember the stories I was told when I was younger. They often scared me to the very core. Nothing can stop it, no enemy alive to defeat it, and who has a better story than Bran the Broken? Thrown out of a window as a child, by my own late brother.” He added the last part in as a whisper, afraid to admit Jamie was dead. He looked to the man who was sitting quietly in his chair. Everyone seemed surprised, even his sisters.

“The boy who was thrown from a high tower and lived. He knew he’d never walk again, so he learned to fly. I ask you now, Bran the Broken if we choose you, will you wear the crown?”

Bran smiled and confidently answered, “Why do you think I came all this way?” Tyrion was surprised, expecting a no from the man, who only days before muttered something about never wanting to be a King. Muttered something about how the skies were open and consistently called out to him.

Something occurred to Tyrion, and he wasn’t sure how it made him feel. This boy who he just named King, he knew all along, he was the real player of the game of thrones. He knew about everything even Daenerys’ massacre of Kings Landing. He knew at the end of it all, he would be made King, he would bring glory to House Stark after years of being put down.

Pleased with himself, Tyrion wandered into the sunlight and closed his eyes. Dreaming of the days of drinking and joking with Jamie. The days of being married to Sansa, who only sat a few meters away. He closed his eyes in prayer, hoping that everything was a dream.

The council surrounded Bran and the Starks and congratulated them. They have won the Game of Thrones and took over from the Lannisters, a family that committed dozens of crimes against them. Amidst the chaos, the council and Tryion, who still stood in the sun with his eyes closed, missed a great shadow pass above. The next thing however, Tyrion and the rest of the council did not miss. He heard a sound he thought was most definitely part of a dream, a dragon’s roar. He turned to the sound and tried to convince himself what he was seeing was a dream. For the life of him, he couldn’t focus on the dragon, or more importantly on its back. His eyes could not see if Daenerys was resting in her usual spot. Then again why would she be? She was dead, Tyrion had no reason to worry. Although he did worry that he would have to deal with her ghost haunting him for the rest of his days.

Drogon landed on the walls of the Dragonpit, the ground shook under his weight. The Lords and Ladies of Westeros were silent, not entirely sure why the Dragon was there.

“Maybe he feels connected to King’s Landing because it’s where she died.” They refused to say her name, it became much like a curse in the time since the massacre.

Then the unexpected happened, the dead Dragon Queen slid off her child’s back and began walking towards the group. Tyrion just stood, staring at her, his mouth trying to form words, but all that came out was a tiny quiet noise. Daenerys came closer, she looked brighter than before and there was a small bounce in her walk. She took the only free chair, in front of the council. None of the Lords and Ladies could believe what was happening in front of their eyes, only Grey Worm gave her a smile, the others too busy trying to form words. Bran turned to look at her and opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him.

She smiled. The Mother of Dragons smiled at them, “My apologies for being late,” No one could respond. “I did have quite a long journey.”

Sansa was the first to speak, cleverly formed words dropped from her lips, “I thought you were dead, my lady.” Sansa was still bitter about Jon asking a foreigner for help.

“I still do believe it is and will always be Your Grace. I will let it go this once,” Daenerys calmly replied to the Red Wolf, and then continued. “I was-“ She was interrupted.

“You are dead.” Tyrion finally managed the power to speak, and his blunt words were harsh. Daenerys was unhappy she was interrupted, but to have her former hand, an enemy, remind her that not days before her body lied lifeless on a cold, stone table. The reminder of the pain and burning of a dagger being pushed into her chest by her own lover was still too much to process for her.

“I was, but Drogon,” Daenerys waved her hand at her child, who sat in a corner of the pit, waiting for a command, “Took my body east, to Volantis, a Red Priestess revived me, just like the Red Woman did for Jon Snow. The Lord of Light still has plans for me apparently, and my watch was not over, or something along those lines.” She folded her hands in her lap. With a careful eye, you could see where the dagger that Jon Snow placed in her heart had ripped her dress.

“I considered staying in the East, in Essos. My true home. But the Lord of Light did not bring me back for that, he brought me back to get revenge on those who conspired my downfall.” Daenerys turned to Tyrion.

“The sight of you in chains does please me greatly,” She stood, and slowly began walking towards the Imp that once called himself her Hand, “But the crowd around Bran and the Starks confuses me. Does someone care to explain?”

“Bran was chosen as King of the Seven Kingdoms.” Daenerys didn’t care to acknowledge who the voice came from.

“A Stark as King, and living in the South? The last time a significant male Stark went South, he lost his head.” Sansa and Arya cringed at the reminder.

Tyrion was still in shock, and stared at his former Queen, “He has the better story, Daenerys.” She scoffed at his use of her name, and at the fact, he had the courage to do so. She knew he was afraid of the Mother of Dragons, and Sansa did too.

“You will not threaten him,” Sansa stood joining Daenerys by Tyrion. “My brother Bran has the better story, a better journey of the people here.” Sansa raised her chin, making herself tall. Yes, she was taller than Daenerys, but not in self-esteem, she lacked the confidence Daenerys had used to conquer the slave cities in Essos.

“A better story than I? Please, Sansa, you know as well as I do that is simply not true.” Daenerys walked away from Tyrion, to the edge of the tent and looked out to Drogon. After a moment of silence, she then turned back to the council.

“I spent my life in foreign lands. So many men have tried to kill me, I don't remember all their names. I have been sold like a broodmare,” She moved to in front of the council, but still spoke to Sansa. “I’ve been chained and betrayed, raped and defiled. The world hadn’t seen a dragon in centuries until my children were born. The Dothraki hadn’t crossed the sea,” She paused to laugh, and clasped her hands in front of her, “Any sea in fact. They did for me. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms and take back what was stolen from my family.” She spat the last part directly at Tyrion.

Tyrion had finally managed to gather his strength. “You murdered innocents and burned an entire city to the ground. Yet you called it mercy. How in any world is that mercy? Children died, women died, families have now gone extinct thanks to you.” He looked up to Daenerys, and directly into her eyes. “You can not call yourself a merciful queen after that.”

The Lords and Ladies nodded their heads in agreement with Tyrion, any of them too afraid to say what he had.

“I will admit, sailing to Westeros is probably the biggest mistake of my life. I should’ve taken an old lovers advice,” She smiled at the thought of laying in bed with Daario in her pyramid in Meereen, times were a lot simpler then. “Coming to Westeros, I lost two of my children. I lost my most trusted adviser, not to mention at the hands of your own sister, my oldest friend who loved me in a way I couldn’t love him. He swore his life to me and died protecting me in a war that wasn’t mine, to begin with. I was manipulated into helping a cause I could’ve ridden out on my throne at Dragonstone, and dealt with the aftermath after the North had been slaughtered. In a moment of weakness I agreed to help Jon Snow, and Sansa’s beloved North in that war.”

Daenerys paced by members of the council that were unfamiliar to her.

“After that war, I moved South and was ambushed by a fleet that was supposed to be ruled by Queen Yara Greyjoy,” She stopped in front of Yara and cocked her head sideways, her mouth drew into a tight-lipped smile.

“Imagine my surprise, I had made an alliance with this queen back in Meereen,” Daenerys continued moving along the council.

“Her brother murdered my child, Rhaegal. Cersei then thought by moving all of her citizens into the gates would stop me because ‘The Dragon Queen has a soft spot for the innocents and slaves’.” She turned back the council.

“Sitting on the back of Drogon, and hearing the bells, I was reminded of everything I had lost. Two children, my best friend, my oldest advisor, and a lover in Jon Snow even. I physically couldn’t let Cersei rejoice while I mourned deeply. Not to mention Lord Varys had been poisoning everything that was brought to me. The poison clouded my judgment.”

“I didn’t execute Lord Varys only because he betrayed me, but also because I could no longer trust any thing that was brought to my table. I felt myself falling into a hole, one that I climbed out of so many years ago in a desert with my Dothraki blindly following me. So please, do rethink why I did what I did. It had to be done.”

Tyrion’s body began to fill with rage that was larger than himself. “You could’ve stopped, given the people a choice!”

“There was no choice to be given. If given one, they would’ve chosen to live in their old world and not my new one. I promised I would break the wheel and if I had given them a choice, I would’ve broken my promise to myself all those years ago.” Daenerys now stood in front of Bran, she had a sense of eagerness still to her, and Tyrion grew worried.

“I wanted come to back to Westeros and burn all of those who wronged me, but I won’t. I realize that the world isn’t perfect, I can’t have everything.”

“Ziry najikatas.” Grey Worm knew immediately who his Queen was talking about, and placed his hand on Tyrion’s shoulder.

“I will execute those who wronged me,”

She looked down at Tyrion. “You and one other will pay for your crimes. Not only against me but the Seven Kingdoms.” Daenerys spoke low, remaining eye contact with Bran.

“Forgive me, but you have no power here. You are an enemy to the Crown and the Realm.” Sansa grabbed Daenerys’ arm and pulled her away from her brother, and her former husband, not willing to see him hurt. She had already lost Theon, she didn’t think she could lose Tyrion and come out with her sanity.

“Bran can no longer walk, but he learned to fly. I am right, correct?” Daenerys yanked her arm from Sansa’s grip and wiped her hands on her dress.

“I can.” Bran spoke clearly, no emotion inflated his dialect.

“Good,” Daenerys stalked around the council, looking at them as if she was the cat, and they were the mice. “I have to conclude you saw that I burned King’s Landing before it even happened. And you saw my death, and you obviously saw yourself becoming King, because why else would the last male heir to the Stark crown come south?”

“I did.”

“He’s not the last male heir.” Sansa’s interjection went unnoticed by the Dragon Queen.

“You must know what happens next I imagine.” Daenerys was once again the edge of the tent, she found herself continuously checking on Drogon as if he needed her protection anymore.

“I do.” Sansa eyes immediately shifted from the imposter Queen to her brother.

“What is she talking about Bran? What is she saying? What is going to happen?” She bombarded him with questions and he shrugged her off. This is the only time that Sansa seemed genuinely interested in Bran’s warging powers.

“Then you must understand my reasoning behind it. I imagine if you were to become King instead, you would do the same to those you have betrayed you.” Her back was to the group but her head turned ever so slightly, the new Prince of Dorne shuddered when she made eye contact with him. He knew that Daenerys Targaryen was dangerous and on edge. 

“I most likely would, Daenerys Stormborn.” Bran shifted uncomfortably in his chair. The other Lords and Ladies grew impatient and nervous. Whispers floated around them.

“She has definitely gone mad. With the help of poison or not.”

Daenerys then walked down the stairs and back to Drogon, a growl came fro his mouth. and climbed on. Drogon took off back in the direction they came from and the council withdrew a breath they weren’t aware they were holding. Tyrion moved to look for Drogon and saw nothing in the clouds. His worry started to slide away, and fast. The council bombarded Bran with questions, unaware of what Daenerys was talking about. Or if anything she said about being poisoned was true.

Bran’s calm and melodic voice started and it immediately calmed the group. “Forgive me, Lords and Ladies of Westeros. I would do the same thing if I had someone betray me in my Kingship. Bring him in.” Grey Worm moved to signal his forces, and Jon Snow was brought into the pit chained, his clothes covered in dirt, his hair loose and a long beard grew on his chin. This no longer calmed the group, well most of them. Yara Greyjoy had managed to figure it out, and she was more than happy to watch.

“It seems that Queen Daenerys is going to execute the Stark bastard for what he did. I do enjoy a good show.” She smirked to herself, but Arya was quick to her feet, a dagger at Yara’s throat. Arya had been fine to watch and listen to the events that were unfolding in front of her, but at the mention of her brother Jon, she could no longer hold her quiet reserve.

“You will watch your words carefully, if you talk about my brother like that again, you will be dead before you can say your house words.” The Greyjoy queen sunk into her chair.

Jon Snow was placed under the tents. The Lords and Ladies that had no part in engineering Daenerys’ fall from the throne were removed. Bran knew he was going to survive, that Sansa and Arya would also. They were going to be spared to suffer, but also as a constant reminder, their lives could be taken as well. The Stark bastard had no idea what was coming for him, and no one had the courage to explain.

Sansa and Arya refused to leave the Dragonpit, insisting on staying with Jon.

“Jon, you are and always have been family. I will not let you be forgotten.” Sansa held his chained hands and forced him to look at her. Jon was in a daze though, refusing to eat or drink anything, he did hear the words, but they made no sense to him. His brain couldn’t decipher the message.

Jon Snow and Tyrion stood in the middle, Jon was still unaware that Daenerys was alive. Sansa released a shaky breath. It was clear. Their mistake was in conspiring to have Daenerys removed from her place of power, either stand with Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen or die.

A dragon screech was heard above them, Jon’s head snapped to the sky, and gasped. Then he saw her, his lover, his Queen. The woman he loved but murdered in cold blood for the better of the Kingdoms.

“Love is the death of duty.”

His mouth instantly went dry, his brain moving too quickly for his mouth to catch up. Drogon landed once again in front of the tent, eerily staking towards the group. A scream from the Dragon Queen was heard.

“Dracarys.”

Jon Snow’s last words were to be written down as an example of irony.

“Daenerys?”

The woman he murdered in the cold blood now sat in front of him, on her dragon child. His life now in her hands, and it was gone with a single command.

Sansa was made Queen in the North, and the North did receive the independence they thought they deserved. After months of convincing, Arya accepted Gendry’s proposal and became the Lady of StormsEnd, vowing to never visit King’s Landing without absolutely having to. Bran moved to the Wall, became a Maester and lived the rest of his days there. He rarely spoke and kept to himself.

Daenerys however, got the crown she had sought after all her life. Becoming the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms was her life goal, and now that she sat on the Iron Throne looking out at her subjects as they yelled.

“Long May She Reign!”

Daenerys felt a weight lifted off of her shoulders and she relaxed into the throne. The Seven Kingdoms had never seen such peace under Daenerys the First. 
 


[babyitsacrime]

1, 22, 23, and 43 for the OC asks.

First off, I apologize for my absolutely atrocious grammar here and also the fact that I just can’t seem to put things into words.

Secondly I wrote this in a different app and then copy pasted so the formatting is a little whack.

1. Your first OC ever?

Oh gosh this one is a little hard to answer. I think Natalia’s my first OC that I ever fully wrote well but me and my friends used to write a lot of stories/fanfiction in middle school so I have some characters from there too that might be older than Nat. Also there’s like three different versions of Nat (Quizup, Next Gen, and the Nat I have now) , and again the one I have right now is by far the most developed/closest to a whole character.

Okay but I talk about Nat a lot so even though I’m not sure which one actually came first I’ll talk about a character I had in the Homestuck fanfiction my friends and I wrote in middle school. (before you ask, yes it’s the 100 page one I’m pretty sure) (also I’m ignoring the self inserts me n my friends made for our other stories bc those don’t count as ocs and I refuse to accept them as characters dhdksjdjs) But basically she’s a troll named Ninmah Aurora. She was heavily based off of Kanaya Maryam, the iconic Homestuck vampire fashion designer lesbian character so that was interesting. And even though I didn’t actually write that much for her she’s one of my favorite characters because I had so much fun writing her with my friends. Anyways can’t believe I just exposed myself as a Homestuck stan on main but you know what it’s fine.

22. Is there any OC of yours that people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Okay there’s a couple and most of them are small things so I’ll just go by character.

Natalia -

let me just start by saying this: it still baffles me why y’all think she’s cool cshdjsj. She’s kinda a dumb bitch if I’m being honest. Like, don’t get me wrong, she’s super smart and could easily outwit me and honestly any of us, but she’s also plain stupid sometimes in other ways. But like, on the other side of the coin I feel like she almost doesn’t get taken seriously sometimes? I feel like that’s a little on me for usually making jokes at her expense but while she is clueless as to how people function she’s also not plain dumb. A lot of what she says and does is well calculated and even when she does something in the spur of the moment it’s always something logical to her. Hn I don’t know if I’m explaining this right but 🤷♀️. But basically she’s not really cool but also she’s not stupid. (Okay ig being good at Quidditch is pretty cool but that’s not my point)

Also I don’t know why but some people (very few people but it’s still annoying to me) seem to think that her being bi is a huge part of her personality when it’s really not. While she is bi, not everything she does is motivated by that fact if that makes any sense. Like for example, if she’s wearing be a rainbow dress it’s not because she’s (and I quote) "team gay" it’s because she liked the damn dress. Okay I’m rambling now but all I’m saying is that it kinda annoys me when people see her being bi as a hugely defining personality trait. Also she isn’t the only character I notice this happens to.

Ishaan -

Similarly to Nat, whole he does enjoy pranking and such, he’s actually a serious person most of the time. Think of him as more of like a serious and skeptical person who also has a good sense of humor. Although I will say that he does sometimes go out of his way to make a joke sometimes, that’s only sometimes and mostly just to annoy Priya.

Lysander -

Another case of the being gay isn’t his personality. Also??? He’s not gay??? I don’t really know where that came from (like I know who mentioned it to me but I have no clue where she got that from aside from just assuming?) for the record, he is also bi and has a slight preference for girls (mostly bc he likes having an s/o shorter than him but we won’t go into that rn). *slams fists on table* jUST BECAUSE HES FUNNY DOESNT MEAN HES THE TOKEN GAY FRIEND OKAY (okay okay I’m done ranting time to continue)

I also feel like his joking nature is often seen as a sign of him not being as a lack of intellect, but that is in no way true. While he isn’t a genius or anything, he’s a little smarter than average, yet still prone to making dumb decisions because he is still a child. But with more life experience he’ll make smarter decisions while still retaining a joking demeanor.

Priya -

I’m going to keep this one short, but she isn’t as cold and cruel as I sometimes make her seem when I talk about her. I feel like this one’s mostly on me but yeah, she’s a caring person for the most part, just a little misguided and/or dramatic at times.

~I think that’s all of them but I might be wrong? Also none of those explanations make a lot of sense I’m sorry 😔~

23. Introduce an OC that has changed from what your first idea considering what the character would be like.

*drags Nat out again* Here you go.

So I mentioned earlier that there’s like three different versions of her, but in all reality they almost feel like different characters with the same name. However I will say that Next Gen Nat and the Nat I have now (I like to call it her final form bc I think I’m finally happy with her) are similar in many many aspects. But I’ll talk about this Nat because I like her the best and she’s the only Nat I actively use. She was originally intended to be a lot colder/closed off than she is. (Think a lot closer to Aster, but I think pep also had a similar thing with him.) She just ended up becoming a lot softer and a little friendlier than I intended her to be. I’m not exactly unhappy with that though, I feel like this actually added a bit more dimension to her character and it actually gave me a little more room to improve her. It was also bound to happen anyways, especially with the characters she’s friends with/will be friends with. So yeah, it’s interesting and honestly I feel like I’m happy with the changes from what I originally intended her to be.

Hm while I’m here I guess I should also talk about Taemoon.

I don’t know that his personality changed much from my original intent, but his story and intent definitely did. He started as a character that exuded a lack of hope. I don’t know if that sentence makes a lot of sense, but he was originally going to have no chance at happiness in the end. He was supposed to let all of his anger and hurt consume him, making him hell bent on revenge, which would only push him further from anything that could make him happy, but I feel like the end of his story is a lot more hopeful now. I don’t know exactly what it is, but ever since pep asked if Jae Hong could adopt him Taemoon’s life story has become something a lot less disheartening. Now I’ve given him a lot more to live for, and a lot more to make him happy. First off, instead of being alone he now has a family that he quickly grows to trust, and a group of friends with similar experiences that basically become family as well. While he is still very revenge driven, he has a lot more to his life than just that; most importantly he has people he trusts that will keep him from becoming consumed by all of his anger. But yeah, he has become a much more hopeful character as a whole and honestly. I feel like that’s what I really needed. Idk about everyone else but I feel like changing his story to the way it is now really has helped me to feel a lot better in general.

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favor certain traits or looks?

Oh god it’s time to confess 😔🤙

So, as most of you have figured out, most of my ocs tend to be very attractive and very capable (and willing) to step on me. If they’re not that then they’re in the minority.

Aside from being physically attractive as a whole, I’d say that in regards to looks, the more they look like they haven’t slept in weeks and are ready to kill a man, the better. If not that, then it’s an oc that looks like I could cuddle with them for hours on end. There’s no in between.

As for traits I tend to favor, probably the most popular is a bad attitude. If you take a look at some of my most used and/or favorite characters, you’ll find that in most cases the snarkier the better. Honestly this is true of characters that aren’t even mine, I just really have a type. At the same time though, I like these characters to have a secret soft side even if it’s only for one other character they care about. On the flip side, I also like writing characters that are genuinely the nicest people you’ll ever meet. I don’t know why but I just love them so much they are truly my children.

Also. Characters that grin in the face of danger? *chefs kiss* I like characters where you question if what they’re doing is out of courage or a death wish. For this reason so many of my characters play some kind of dangerous sport or enjoy dueling, you get what I mean. This goes for both my Edgy™️ characters as well as my soft characters.

Additionally, I do have a lot of characters that are wealthy. Uh. I think that mostly speaks for itself so I’m not going to comment on it any further than this.

Also. Flowers. For some reason I go for faceclaims that eat flowers. It’s not even something I actively seek out??? Like I’ll find someone cute and I’ll be scrolling through pictures and there they are. Eating a flower. This mostly goes for my guy fcs but yeah. Idk how it happens but it just does and I’ve come to accept it.

[darkpoisonouslove]

For the send title Griffin Heat of the moment Long live the queen Three of my fav one shots! Took some thinking to narrow it down!

I am so sorry this took so long, but life got in the way. I had a terrible night on Saturday and really wasn’t in the state of mind to write this yesterday. Also, tumblr ate my response the other day and I’m still mad about it. So it’s been a fun couple of days. Here’s to hoping this answer will cheer us both up!

“Griffin”:

1. I wrote this when I was on vacation but it took me a while to edit it before I could post it. It was a spontaneous idea that I was so excited to start writing that I stayed up late for it (pretty sure I went to bed at, like, 3:30am because of this).

2. As I’ve mentioned before, it was inspired by “I Fell in Love with the Devil” by Avril Lavigne (damn, I love the song and the video) and my own thought process while I was listening to it. My brain just went “Hey, how cool do you think it will be if Griffin tried to summon the devil aka Valtor and then fell in love with him but it had a tragic ending bc it’s them obvs?” And I went “Yeah, I think that would be pretty cool.” So I just went with it but since I wanted it to keep the winx-verse feeling even despite it being an AU, I decided that Valtor would be known as the all-powerful Dark Dragon which is sort of an equivalent to the devil but not quite. He has all the knowledge on magic and is prone to wrecking havoc everywhere he goes, but minus the ruling hell thing. He’s not ruling anything, he was trapped. Because we needed a summoning ritual in this. Who doesn’t love summoning rituals?

3. Speaking of which, I don’t know how I made those up, but I’m really glad I did. The obsidian idea just came to me but when I did some research, what do you know? It was perfect. And I also managed to tie it in with the Obsidian dimension. I love doing AUs because it gives me so many opportunities to play around with canon details and put them in a new perspective and mold them until they fit this new universe I’ve come up with. It’s my favorite part of writing AUs. The hair thing I know from my mom, a book I read (”A Discovery of Witches”, I think) and internet confirmed. And the tears I just thought would add to the aesthetic and provide some insight into Griffin’s head.

4. I chose the title “Griffin” because this fic mainly deals with the essence of Griffin, with what makes her who she is. Also, I did some research on griffins and they are supposed to be protectors so that also fit in super nicely. I am very proud with the version of Griffin I’ve built in this fic. There is so much anger and desperation in her but that in no way changes the fact that she is actually a good person. Which is why this: “She was strong enough to be a protector. Even with her pain. Even with her rage. Even with her darkness.” is my favorite quote from the fic. I was in a dark place at the time I wrote this and it was important for me to remember that.

5. I also love how Valtor turned out in this fic. He’s mysterious and clearly dangerous but also alluring enough for Griffin to ignore the warning signs. And while it’s clear that he was using her, it isn’t clear what he feels about her. He does feel about her. Maybe not love but he certainly feels a lot about her. She was the only one who managed to summon him (aka rescue him) from Omega so he is intrigued by her powers as well as by the interaction of light and dark within her soul. That is the reason why I have considered writing a companion piece to this fic that is from Valtor’s point of view (there certainly is enough unexplored material on that timeline (I only gave the beginning and ending (is it?) of that relationship)), but I’ve discarded the idea as many times as I have entertained it (until now?). I really have other more pressing things that need taking care of rn but I might reconsider it again when I have more time (will a moment like that ever come?) since I had some new thoughts about it now.

“Heat of the Moment”:

1. This was actually the third Winx Club fanfic I wrote but I posted it as the second one since chapter one of “Warmth of Rage, Cold of Love” wasn’t edited yet at the time.

2. It was actually written at the same day as “Fire and Ice” but it took me a lot of time to get it up on FFN because I didn’t want to post it at first. It was veering on smut so I wasn’t sure how people would react to it. Which is why it makes me so happy to hear that you love that story so much, considering all the doubts I had around it (it was also the first time I was writing about them in the past and we didn’t see anything of their interactions back then on the show so it was pretty much a shot in the dark there).

3. Do you know that amazing moment when you want to write something steamy but you’re not comfortable with smut in this particular situation for whatever reason? This fic is the embodiment of that. Which is why it ended up as dry humping. That’s always my go-to thing in a situation like that. Not actual sex, but you get all the intimacy of sex in it. It’s a win-win (and also hot).

4. I probably would’ve gotten discouraged and would’ve quit writing for the Winx fandom after I posted that one because it didn’t get any attention in weeks. The thing that actually kept me going and not just motivated, but excited me to keep writing for Winx was @her-majesty-wears-jeans‘ review.

5. The whole fic is constructed the way it is because I’m convinced that Valtor loved messing with Griffin in every way possible and that it always set off a competition of wills between the two of them.

“Long Live the Queen”:

1. I was bursting with creative energy and just didn’t know what to work on (not for a lack of ideas but because none of those I already had sparked my interest (I think I had idea-fatigue for all of the wips I already had). So I just picked song lyrics and wrote a fic. How do I do this? It certainly is a mystery to me.

2. So it was all total chance there. I was listening to music on YouTube and when the song ended, the suggestions showed up. One of them was a lyric video for Halsey’s “Young God” (which is totally their story in the past, I mean, come on!) and the thumbnail had the lyric “I’m the king and you’re the queen”. So I just took that and rolled with it.

3. I didn’t think it a big deal because I honestly wasn’t planning on posting the thing. I was frustrated with myself that day and was pretty sure that it wouldn’t be good anyway. And then what do you know? It was good. It was better than good. I actually loved the result. So I decided to post it after all.

4. That last paragraph was on the line until the last moment I posted it. I only added it on the last round of edits and wasn’t really sure about it. I almost deleted it a few times, but, ultimately, I decided to leave it be.

5. I had some random thoughts about what happened after Griffin took the crown. Since it will get so out of control with the length if I try to write this (and I really don’t have the time for that), I’ll just write them out here. In short because I forgot some details that were kind of important. Also, angst alert.

Griffin and Valtor start ruling Domino and Griffin’s worries prove to be true. Valtor is… well, not that he’s not listening to her but in a situation that needs improvisation, he always makes the wrong move. He’s listening to her, he’s just not listening to common sense. He’s angry and powerful and it’s not a good combination.

On top of that, Faragonda shows up at the Domino palace to look for Griffin because she is convinced that Valtor is mind-controlling her. Griffin barely manages to convince Valtor not to hurt Faragonda. He’s suspicious of her because he thinks she’s come to gather intel, but Griffin tells him that Faragonda is there because she’s worried about her.

They form a sort of flimsy truce that allows Faragonda to come visit Griffin so that she won’t be so lonely. And if she spills anything about Valtor and Griffin (not just about their plans, but in general) to anyone at all, Valtor will make sure she regrets it. Griffin is still unhappy, though, and after overhearing (whether accidentally or not so much) one of her conversations with Faragonda, Valtor understands how much the whole thing is weighing down on her conscience.

So after one last very tender night with her, he lets her go. He can’t run away with her because that will put her in danger since the Council will want his head. So he’ll stay on Domino and limit the destruction as much as possible, but he wants her to go with Faragonda. They can tell the Council that she was under his spell and that was why she was acting the way she was. They’ve seen enough of what his mark on people can do so that won’t be hard to believe. And it was Faragonda who saved her from it with some fairy dust.

Griffin doesn’t want to leave him, but she does because she can’t take any more of what he’s doing. Faragonda hides her in Alfea where a few weeks later Griffin finds out she’s pregnant. It turns out Faragonda knew all along (Valtor told her when he called her to escort Griffin to Alfea and gave her a letter for Griffin because he knew that if Griffin knew she was pregnant with his daughter, she would never leave his side). The letter tells her under no circumstances to tell anyone that the baby is his daughter. She is supposed to pretend that that is the heiress of Domino who was born just before Valtor attacked and that he’d been keeping her hibernated (which is why she hasn’t aged and is still a newborn) until they found her. It took them months to get her out of that state which would give Griffin the time to give birth to the baby. And the real heiress of Domino is stuck on Earth with her way back to the magical dimension severed by Valtor’s spell. And it will remain so as long as the Dark Dragon Fire is burning.

So Darcy grows in Alfea, pretending that she is a fairy her whole life. And her power of illusions helps her keep up the charade with Griffin and Faragonda guiding her through the discovery of her magic and helping her understand both light and dark magic so that she can pretend to be a fairy and learn how to control her actual powers. And a little bit of glamor helps hide the family resemblance between her and Griffin. She knows the truth about herself and her father but she keeps all of that hidden like her mother insists.

When she turns sixteen, Valtor appears to tell her she is to take the throne of Domino, defeat him and “claim her birthright”. He gives them a part of the embers the Ancestral Witches used to make him and tells them that that is the evidence of his defeat they are to present to the Council. And he will disappear for he can’t stay with them, no matter how much he wants to. It will put them both at risk if anyone discovers the ruse.

Griffin sees how much of his body mass is missing and follows him to learn what he’s done and where he found the ember. Valtor tells her that he cut off his wings in demon form and made them return to their original form. However, that also had consequences for his human form and he’s dying. He’s pretty sure what he did messed with his internal organs and he doesn’t have much more to live. But he doesn’t regret anything if it means that Darcy will finally be safe and happy. And once she builds her reputation and convinces everyone she’s not a threat, she’ll be able to drop the disguise.

Griffin knows that will never be the case. She’s seen clearly all these years to differ from him. They can never drop the pretense for the Council will be after them immediately. And with Valtor dying in her arms, she’s not sure if Darcy can protect herself. She’s never used the full potential of her Dragon Fire and Griffin fears it is too late for her to do it. She fears that having to pretend to be someone else her whole life has destroyed who Darcy actually was. And she fears that it is all her fault. Because she took that crown when she shouldn’t have. When she knew it was the wrong choice.

So after Valtor is dead, Griffin sets out to find out how to bring the actual heiress of Domino back to the magical dimension in hopes that if the two kinds of fire mix and both girls learn to control them, the Council will not hunt down her daughter. A perfect mix of light and darkness is her only exit. But can she be sure that she can achieve it now when she couldn’t years ago and that was what set off the whole chain of events?

So this was longer than I expected but I like how it turned out. Except for the insane levels of angst which I’m pretty sure we’re all used to, but that still doesn’t make them any less painful. Anyway, hope this makes up for the delay!

[wizardysseus]

genuinely curious because I haven’t seen much of this opinion but how come you didn’t like ragnarok?

hey anon! under a cut bc i don’t actually enjoy raining on anyone else’s parade

ragnarok is a thor movie for people who didn’t previously like or care about thor. his characterization has changed drastically from prior movies, from his speech patterns to his bearing to the way he treats the people around him. i realize that a lot of people (including chris hemsworth) consider it an improvement. as a longtime thor fan, that’s pretty fucking tragic to me.

it also seems pretty obvious that waititi wasn’t interested in the baseline story he was supposed to work with. the movie is way more interested in its b-plot than its a-plot, and when the b-plot is……jeff goldblum running a casino/coliseum, and the movie is CALLED RAGNAROK, that is! bad! pacing! the people of asgard are almost completely killed off, while the narrative hardly bothers to care. 

i can’t believe this movie made me bored of gladiatorial games

asgard’s imperialism narrative is interesting and could have been really great, but for some reason the movie is reluctant to delve into it. 

on a similar note: i’m all for lost thor siblings, god knows they crop up in the comics, but i thought it amounted to a lot of wasted potential here. hela really doesn’t have that much screentime and thor is barely there with her to have to reckon with their family relationship or his father’s past misdeeds. it’s not entirely glossed over, but hey, we’ve got 10 more unfunny jokes to make!!

oh right. the jokes aren’t funny

ok, a couple of the jokes are funny. but they all follow the same pattern—dramatic moments aren’t allowed to breathe before they’re immediately subverted into jokes, often slapstick, often at thor’s expense. and like. bathos is good but i could see every single one coming.

and this is back to my beef with thor’s characterization. because i’ve seen a lot of people defend it by saying that this kind of arc, where the proud hero is humbled and poked fun at, is actually really clever, but… thor had at that arc in his first movie??? he was sent to earth because of his arrogance, to learn where his real strength lay (with protecting others), and… he did? and even at his worst, thor didn’t act casually mean to his friends or feel the need to put them down because of his own insecurities. (an argument could be made that he does this to loki, when he’s disparaging about his magic, but i think something different is going on there than intentional cruelty.) besides, ragnarok is hardly the first time thor has had to deal with people not taking him seriously.

where the hell was thor in this thor movie

i hate. jane being written out in one line and never brought up again. i know natalie portman was unhappy with the franchise for a long time, but CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, she didn’t refuse to come back. and even if she had, there are less lazy ways to deal with her absence.

sif isn’t even fucking mentioned.

i don’t care about the warriors 3 very much, but to see them killed off so instantly was pretty… idk. weird. and definitely hammered in that this was not a movie for people who already liked the franchise.

valkyrie’s alcoholism being a punchline throughout the film. thor’s concern that it might kill her being played for laughs.

WHY DOES THIS MOVIE, GET POINTS FOR BI REP, to be clear i love valkyrie and tessa but we only have it on word of god and a scene that waititi has openly said he cut from the film.

i don’t like… thor’s haircut. not gonna make a big thing out of the Cultural Significance of his hair, because tbh i’m not that informed about it. i just really don’t like thor to have short hair. you couldn’t have bothered to give him, like, a better wig instead???

i still don’t know why the hulk was there. bruce is, like, fine in it tbh but on the best of days i still don’t find him all that compelling.

it’s irritating bc i know none of this would bother me so much if i didn’t see 5 text posts a week telling me it’s part of the holy marvel trinity with catws and black panther. when i got out of the theater, i said “well, there were about 15 minutes that i didn’t hate” (thor and loki had a couple good scenes imo) but like. there are quite a few marvel movies i haven’t liked, and they’ve all been fairly popular! i’m used to that! but as good as tws??? as good as black panther???

(tws is a very safe movie, in a lot of ways. i don’t think it takes a lot of risks, but it’s a structurally sound, well-crafted movie with good emotional and humorous beats, and it’s close to my heart. black panther, on the other hand, does something inventive and creative and does it well. it is WILD to me to see thor ragnarok, which offers neither of those things, compared to them.)

tl;dr my cousin said that when everyone gave ragnarok 5 stars she felt like she was on a prank show and that’s a succinct summary of how i feel.

[rosesloveletters]

Hhhhhh I’m upset 😭 it’s 1am and I texted mum to tell her I was dizzy lying down and she came up with some water and asked me what I’d eaten and I told her that I’ve had some pasta, some vegetables and then what we had for dinner and she told me I wasn’t eating enough and “you just got given a clean bill of health, don’t fuck it up now” and I guess maybe my emotions I.e. annoyance were on my face bc she pointed at my joker pillow and said “he would take food out of his mouth if it meant you could eat, that’s the kind of person he is. He’d be upset if he heard you weren’t eating” and then she pointed at my Liz pillow and said she’d be disappointed and then she said Sirius would be too, and Dracula and Ash would be livid and now I’m fighting tears because I feel so shitty like I can’t get anything right and I KNOW my emotions are heightened bc I’ve been up since 6am and it’s now 1am and I didn’t have a nap today but ffs I’m TRYING. I feel so sick to think of darling Arthur upset, Liz disappointed and my Ash and Drac unhappy. Mum said to drink water and get some sleep and to EAT and then I said I need to sleep bc I gotta be up to study so I can’t and then she frowned and told me to have a pyjama day tomorrow but I do that anyway so?? Hhhh idk angel I just feel really… sick. She meant to motivate me into caring for myself by mentioning my FOs but she made it worse and now I wanna cry 😭 I’m so sorry to vent darling hasdfghjkl you were the first person I thought of and there’s no obligation at ALL to respond to this ksksksk I’m just being silly bc I’m super tired and quite hungry. There’s snacks in my room but I don’t wanna touch them because I should be sleeping. I just wanted to tell you 😭 I love you darling and I miss you and I hope you’re looking after you!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Erika🥺🥺 I am so sorry I help onto this ask for so long, but since we discussed it at length in our messages, I felt it best to hold onto it for a bit, just in case❤️❤️❤️❤️

First of all, I am so incredibly sorry you were feeling this way at such a time; it is even more upsetting and hard to deal with when we're feeling yucky late at night and I empathize with you greatly. I know that your mum meant her words from a good place, though occasionally, as good as one's intentions may be, we misplace some of our words or they get lost in what we are trying to convey.

It is very important to make sure that you are getting the right amount of nutrition, which can be extremely difficult to do since it all depends on so many factors that are inherently different for each and every individual person. We are all unique and our bodily makeup is different from one to another; what may be perfect for you could be detrimental to someone else. I think that is very important to take into consideration when thinking through things such as this.

I would also like to tell you that none of your F/Os, Arthur/Joker, Ash, Liz, Sirius, Drac, Mama, Papa, Father or ANY others, would be disappointed in you for not eating; they would be worried about you, that is true, and I know that they would each drop everything to do all they could to encourage you to eat more if that is what your body is needing. They would each recognize how hard you are trying and I think they would all be more interested in what is causing you to not eat. It is more important to address the actual cause; you can make yourself eat more, but if there is something on your mind which is causing you to not eat, then the cycle will continue until the actual issue is addressed and resolved properly.

All of your F/Os want the best for you and they each in turn would do all that they can for you because you make them proud every day just by being you! I don't think you should be hard on yourself, honey. if you need to eat, then you should do so. it is important to listen to what our bodies are telling us and I know that your F/Os would all tell you the same thing. I am sure Ash would find a way to motivate you to eat more and Arthur would be interested in what he can do to make you feel better mentally and emotionally. Sleep affects us all in different ways, but most of the time, if we aren't getting enough sleep, we tend to be more emotional and errant. I sincerely hope that sleeping helped you to feel better and that you got all of the rest and nutrition that your body was needing.

Your mum definitely meant to motivate you and to make you feel better by mentioning your F/Os, though I do believe her words were a bit misplaced even though that was clearly not her intention; she did not do it on purpose, I am certain. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of this and I hope I was able to help even a small bit, especially in the messages we shared about this a while back❤️

I love you very much, darling! I miss you too and I'm sending strength and love your way. I am taking care of myself, if only because I know I have to. Thank you for all that you do for me, honey. You mean so much to me🥺❤️