#bc my heart just can’t take it
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Have you ever watched an episode of TV so good you couldn’t bring yourself to watch anything else for the rest of the day because you didn’t want to taint that feeling? Yeah, that was this week’s episode of Your Sky. I literally sobbed straight through the whole thing but now I feel healed.
#this show man#i cant#your sky the series#i am however glad we don’t get many angsty coming out scenes in thai bl#bc my heart just can’t take it
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Feel free to take this time on this request. /gen
Since your Phoenix can come back from the dead, I wonder if you can draw Reginald's reaction to finding out about Phoenix's multiple deaths.
(How he finds out is up to you. But if you want an idea: Zoraxis memory reading machine upon Phoenix getting captured.)
rule number one of being a handler: never, ever panic in front of the agent. if you stay frosty, then they won’t panic either. Reginald is going to hang on to these feelings and quietly have a crisis once they’re safely back at base, where Phoenix will never know.
#we all know that Reginald’s mask only cracks when he can’t actually find the agent and he otherwise takes everything in stride#he’s actually very careful with his emotions it’s just hard to realize bc he covers it up with quips and jokes#like in First Class when he’s like “enemies have found you. good for them!”#he definitely had a mini heart attack when he found that out and was desperately trying not to show it#plus he’s a smart guy and was already suspicious bc Phoenix would do stuff before he told them to#like two days after this the implications of dying dozens of times over will suddenly hit him and he’ll start asking more questions#but yeah the initial reaction i’d guess would be shockingly tame#thanks for the ask!#i expect you to die#ieytd#agent phoenix#reginald crane#the handler#my art#trying out type for the speech bubbles bc writing it takes foreverrrrr#feel free to keep the asks coming i am so bored all the time
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Okay I wanna show my favorite piece of Uprising concept art, it’s been in the back of my mind ever since I saw it
Look at that.
#I can’t quite put my finger on why but I love it so much#theres a serenity here in its light colors. for once the use of scale doesn’t feel used to show how small and ‘insignificant’ programs are#instead it’s used to show how all of these programs have their own lives. and they filled up this vast world with their presence#LOOK AT ALL OF THOSE LITTLE DOTS. ALL PROGRAMS. ALL LIVING LIVES.#all of this data all of these little lines and shapes making me think of renaissance art and research and the homo universalis#ripping all of this shit out of my heart bc I’m certain that wasn’t intentional. idc tho#like. programs have added so much to this world there’s humanity and life showing in this structure#its something CLU or anyone else can’t just take away as an imperfection#idk I’m still reeling over it and I saw this first like last year#tron#tron uprising#save#wanna come back to this n see it over and over again#I ramble
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My beautiful wife
#I ❤️ him#Went home early bc. I prob have a throat infection. And my neck hurts. And my back. And my head. I can’t speak. Hello.#Walked under the rain 😔#SERÉ LA GAAAATAAAA BAJO LA LLUUUVIAAAAA Y MAULLARÉÉÉÉÉ POR TÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ 🗣️🗣️🗣️ ahh moment#Ironically love that song tho 🙏#I almost had heart palpitations at school methinks (I couldn’t breathe and my heart was like. Dying.)#Actually why am I so unserious I should take this seriously 😭#Anyway ❤️#(random shi but is it just me or does the strawberry emoji 🍓 look so :3)#Doodle#whiteboard fox#digital art#guido mista#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#he makes me laugh
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scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:
#i miss mitsumona… i love asumona y e s but mitsumona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#‘where were you when this part of idol sengen was being serialised?’ trapped outside due to regionlock s o b s#man… looking at idol sengen on piccoma again like. gosh. 7.9 million hearts/likes so trueeeee#which do you think we’ll get first: mitsuki mv (a la gijirenai) or idol sengen s2?#the crumbs we get of her in mona mvs isnt enoughhhhhhhh aaaaa#even a 1 image mv would do!!! just give us a tiny bit more of her plsssss#i wanna know what made mona such a huge fan of hers~~~~~~~#though. the way mona specifies that she only likes girl idols will forever be funny to me#she really can’t care less about lxl huh… so true of her tbh#girl idols are a m a z i n g (<-weakling who tears up while watching love live live recordings)#like. man. props to the casting directors or sth bc. m a n their stage presence is unreal for idol vas#like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you told me the vas were idols themselves id believe you#rkk was so cute. and aik.yan was super cool (esp during her solo) a n d ain.ya was both cute and cool and!!!!!!!!!#but um!!!! i digress!!!! anyways stan girl idols (esp mona) lxl w h o—#i think i’ll forever be envious of those who’ll be able to watch nan.su’s mona oneman live though… no foreigners allowed (how sad)…#though y’all should def check out some of nan.su’s other songs!! her powerful songs are so cool (imo)…#but i think she’s actually really good at singing songs with cheering/chanting portions lmfaooo the monachan lives on#i think hw should give mona more cool-ish songs though… let nan.su show off her range!!!#though. while im on the topic. i think sena should have cool songs too. narumi sisters cool song p l s s s s s#(bc my hot take over here is that hw doesn’t let their vas show off their full range *c o u g h s* i m e a n—)#what am i even on anymore h e l p started on mitsumona ended up in narumi sisters cool song desires…#anyways!!!! stream silent sword (both the og by ama.miya sora and the cover by nan.su) that’s all goodbye
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HE’S HERE
#miku featured bc I know in my heart and soul Jin would be a miku fan#ALSO!!!! TAKAYA IS ON THE WAY#then I’ll save for chidori!! although it’ll probably be a while until I can get it lol#I love taking pictures of figures w the stupidest possible angles#I can’t believe I finally have the jin figure. this is a moment in history#yk what this is making me realize that I should push the Jin miku fan agenda more#idk it’s just funny to me#vocaloid fan jin shirato is so real to me#what would his fav miku song be though…let’s all sit around a table and discuss#persona 3#persona 3 reload#p3#persona#jin shirato#miku hatsune#hatsune miku
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it should be illegal to feel like this on your birthday
#i really loved my morning i got such nice gifts from my mom#and it was nice to just have a morning off#but that was honestly the worst class i’ve ever been in#i was trying to talk to my professor but my voice sounded so off#i’m so stressed bc i’m so behind i don’t know what to do it’s not clear at ALL#i think he’s assuming everyone’s done something like this but it’s not true!! i’m a sophomore and everyone else is a junior or senior#and i was trying to hard not to break down and i think i made it#but now i’m in my room and i need everyone to shut up#i want to take a shower to calm down but i can’t bc my roomate is here and she knows i already took one today#and i don’t like that i’m 20 i’m scared of growing up#and im homesick im always homesick in the back of my heart#i just want a hug honestly
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this is the annoying loop that keeps happening with everything:
- oh yeah, I need to do Y (regular activity)
- ughhhhhh, i don’t feel like it
- ughhhhh, life is just going on and i don’t want it to, i want to go back, or at least just stop and let me figure things out
- how did I get myself to do Y last time?
- oh, i guess last time was before the breakup
- NO. don’t think “so this is the first time I’m doing this without her”
- I SAID NO.
- so this is the first time I’m doing this without her?
- FUCK
- last time i probably complained about having to do this
- or said something about how at least i got that out of the way early or whatever
- now i just have to do it
- and i guess that’s it
- ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- why am i crying, this doesn’t even have anything to do with her!!!
- well, she does have X in common, which is kind of similar.
- ahhhhh why am i now thinking about her?????
#i wish i had established friends that i do things with so i could just fall into some previous version of normal#like i remember in middle school when my first ever girlfriend broke up with me#granted i was much less hurt because i honestly only hadn’t broken up with her because she said her older brother would beat me up#if i broke her heart#but anyway the whole year and change we dated i sat with her and her friends at lunch#and they were more my friends than my previous friends were bc like being trans and finally having the chance to have friends who are girls#with no pretext that i’m supposed to try to date them#but i was like “obviously i can’t sit with her anymore”#so i went back to my old table for the rest of the year#and just fell back into that old routine and my friends didn’t ask questions#maybe an initial wondering why i wasn’t sitting with her#maybe i looked bummed enough they didn’t ask#but yeah they just had their conversation i didn’t care about and i sat and ate my lunch like before#and then next year was high school and a table formed around me so it was like all my nerdy friends of all genders and that was better#but yeah anyway I just fell into an old routine and the comfort of it made it easy#but i don’t really have those right now#everything is new and in flux#so i’m just lost#and if i do want to do something#it has to be something new#and that takes more effort when i don’t have any to give
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Hypothetically…?
+ Bonus Sepia reaction
#my art#art#sketch#traditional art#welcome home#wally darling#Mazebound Wally#Mazebound au by Korry#I have so much art that I just keep to myself#my little hoard that brings me joy#Anyways personally I imagine he beheads Barnaby because he simply is too annoyed by his puns and general carefree attitude and such things#But also he is definitely something else I can’t think of the word for that isnt carefree. but yeah he could be a nuisance to this Wally#And thus being a reason to remove his head; even if he can still growl and bark. No stupid face and now bonus claws for the chase + capture!#Probably anyways since his whole deal is having his neighbors help him capture humans for him or whatever /silly#And also apparently probably taking things and transforming/changing them/their form which is pretty rad#I’m so biased man but I swear I’ve tried to open my heart to other aus (Not including swarm)#ignore how dark one eye is compared to the other- I was trying to fix it and made it worse and didn’t wanna erase#Gave Sepia in Mazebound au a tank top and jacket with torn pants probably instead of their normal outfit bc I can /silly
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THEY’RE USING SIGN LANGUAGE-
The way I screamed with joy when I saw this
#stuff like this always gets to me bc of family#so sweet#so wholesome#my heart can’t take it#fizz you have now shot to the top of my favourite character list#i love this#the music as well just-#❤️❤️❤️#fizzarolli helluva boss#helluva boss fizzarolli#helluva boss#sign language
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to the boyfriend i want so hopelessly but will never have, happy birthday milove ♡
#gyugyu 🐶#hiiii ! yes this is the mandatory ‘it’s my ult bias day’ sappy ass long delulu message from aleyna 💌#so pls proceed with caution bc once i start talking it’ll get ... yeah. anyway#happy mingoo day everyone 🥺🥺#he the loml 💖 (... one of many but let’s not talk about that *cough*)#i just love him so much :((#the giant puppy boy who stole my heart and never gave it back 😭😞#also he’s literally the most boyfriend to ever boyfriend?????? it’s so unfair ☹️#just another day of not having mangyu 😔... what is life#do you know the feeling when you like look at someone and your heart starts swelling in your chest so much that it hurts??#that’s exactly how i feel whenever i look at mingyu 🥺! i appreciate and love every little thing about him so much i :(( can’t explain#he’s soooooo comfort shaped i love him 😞. god. wanna pepper kisses all over his face and tell him how happy he makes me and#how precious he is and how i’d actually commit arson for him 😭#also wanna kith those pretty moles 🥺🤏🏼 nnnnnnnn#why so babie if so huge 😔 he’s literally a giant puppy baby ashtsjjdhk GOD#when he laughs/giggles >>>>>>>>>!! my heart is hurting so BAD i’m so fond of him 😭😭😭#every now and then i find myself going; SIR WHY ARE U DOING THIS ARE U WILLING TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY POOR HEART??#like loving him literally unlocked a whole new spectrum of emotions for me idk how to explain this like a sane person#in short this is like. the most fucking delulu i’ve ever been in my life 💀? or at least it feels like it...#😩 just one chance PLS!!! PLS I BEG!!!! :(( i’m so down bad it’s SO BAD#a very brainrot inducing man (the type i always fall for 😔?! started seeing the patterns hhhhh)#the amount of love my little body holds for him is insane 😷 (little in comparison to him btw... i’m generic female height 👾)#loving mingoo feels like a rainy night where you’re cuddling with your loved one under a blankie; about to fall asleep bc of how cozy u are#i wish words were enough to express how i feel about this man... but it really isn’t 😕!#he just means a lot to me okay?#he’s everything and beyond 💓 i love him like my whole life depends on it (although i’m like that for several people)#not my fault that my heart is so fucking big and it has separate places to store everyone i adore 💖#happy bday babylove 🥺 i hope your day is filled with the happiest of moments and you can celebrate properly 💕#it’s so sad that you’ll never know how much you mean to this random girl on the other side of the world :/#i’m so done for aren’t i? took like 40 minutes to type and everything... sigh. i love him so bad </3
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I say this purely out of love and concern but I think there is some healing that needs to be done outside of selfshipping
#riv rambles#I get selfships are a comfort and help us feel better but#truly I just get concerned by some of the things I see sometimes#I really don’t think it should be such a toll on you mentally to have fantasies with pixels & I mean that in a serious and realistic manner#not in a shady or holier than thou manner#I just really think that at the end of the day if having made up scenarios with genuine pixels takes such a heavy toll on people there#really needs to be a sense of healing that needs to happen in other places and I can’t stress this enough#but I mean this with all the concern and kindness in my heart#truly it saddens me bc I care—not bc I’m being shady 😭#I just don’t wanna seem shady I just see things that alarm me that’s all
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#i’m having an incredibly hard time.#and i’m trying not to burden anyone else with it because i���ve already expressed so much of my grief related feelings over the last year#but this loss in particular is so incredibly profound and arguably the most painful bc it was the least complicated or nuanced#therefore i am completely and paralyzingly distraught in ways i didn’t experience with my grandma or my sister#and that’s confusing bc on one hand i wonder if it makes me a bad person and on the other hand i just don’t even care#pet grief is something entirely different#harley was and is the most important and precious thing in my life#his love was unconditional and he gave my days structure and routine#he is still so embedded in me that i have spent every day without him so far still listening for him around the house#i don’t think i’ve ever cried this consistently and so easily every day in my life#i don’t even have to try to cry or force it at all and i wonder how long it’ll take before the automatic nature of it stops#i go to sleep crying and the minute i get out of bed i am crying before i even leave my room bc i know he won’t he outside of it#my heart is so broken i feel like i’m going to suffocate#two nights ago i ran into my mom’s room sobbing before bed bc my night time routine was suddenly shortened#i can’t go to bed without putting him to bed#i didn’t know what to do i just broke down on her bed where i would tuck him in#i don’t know how i’m going to move on from this i genuinely am at my lowest point#i am Not okay. i haven’t been okay in a really long time but this has knocked me down so hard#i don’t see myself ever getting up atp
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i’m just
there must be so many gaps in jieum’s memory
she was the girl of many trades but can she remember how she learnt any of those skills? No they were all from her past lives so they’re gone. Can she remember leaving her neglectful family to live with ae-gyeong? No because she was from a past life, so where does ji-eum think she grew up? She remembers being good at school and her awards but not if anybody was there in the audience for her. She says in her phone call to her superior that she remembers switching departments before, but she doesn’t remember working in the hotel. She cooks meals the exact way as ae-gyeong taught her and she taught ae-gyeong, but she doesn’t remember having learnt them. if she can’t remember anything to do with her past lives, she wouldn’t be able to remember anything that had happened in the past few months the drama is set over.
that must be such an odd and confusing existence, to only remember small dots and flashes of your life, and a giant gap in recent memory, and she doesn’t even seem to be affected by it either? Did she go to the hospital after coming to consciousness standing on a bridge with no idea how she got there? Did they run tests on her brain to see if something had gone wrong? Does she think she suffered a mental breakdown?
What is going on in ji-eum’s brain in those final scenes i want to dissect her thoughts like a grape
#see you in my 19th life#did she move back into her old job on the suggestion of a therapist who is helping her with her sudden memory loss?#she was living with ae-gyeong where did she think she lived?#does she have monthly visits to a group of doctors that are fascinated by her oddly specific memory loss?#in those first few days after losing all her memories. did people she knew try to approach her and she freaked?#if she’d gone to the hospital ae-gyeong would be her emergency contact. maybe it just slipped through the cracks because she was also in#hospital recovering from surgery at the time.#there is a large set of contacts in ji-eum’s phone that she doesn’t recognise at all - not just numbers from her loved ones#but contacts for her job at the hotel as well and anybody she’d met during the show’s run#imagine with me if you will if there had been one final episode instead of those few scenes#ji-eum recovering from what she can only assume is some kind of mental breakdown from stress and her childhood#ae-gyeong coming to visit her in hospital and this deliciously heart-wrenching scene that mirrors ji-eum by her bedside when she was ill#and ji-eum doesn’t recognise her at all and only feels a base level of concern knowing ae-gyeong had surgery not long before#ae-gyeong promising to take care of ji-eum but turns her down because her head and heart hurt from being near her so she rents out an#apartment. she has no recollection of working at the hotel and seo-ha isn’t ready to see her yet it’s too soon so doyun has to handle her#transition back to the engineering track. and in her phone she deletes all the contacts she doesn’t know but when she looks at the photos#and icr if she took one with seo-ha but she must have but defo the one with her ae-gyeong and cho-won. she can’t bear to delete them#even though she doesn’t know them or remember why they were taking this photo. but bc it’s a romance she has to have a few photos of seo-ha#and she sort of ponders over them like. who are you. who were you to me. but it hurts her head so she puts down her phone#and there can be a bunch of times throughout the episode where she just misses him like. she’s asleep in hospital and he brings her flowers#and she wakes up just in time to see the back of his head leaving the room. she could visit ae-gyeong to try to rebuild this#parental relationship she doesn’t remember but has all the proof that this is the lady who raised her. and like in the show seo-ha could be#sat right behind her but he doesn’t interact with her directly they just do the napkin bit and then he leaves w/o looking at her#and the meet-up with cho-won could stay the same with the difference that ji-eum recognises her from their photo and says something like#’we know each other don’t we.’ and cho-won gets so excited and maybe even calls them sisters but then she realises what she’s doing and is#like. ‘that’s how it felt for me. we worked together just a few months ago. i’m cho-won’ and then ji-eum can do that#gorgeous reach for her memories from the show where she rolls the name around her mouth because it’s just so familiar#and ofc i’d change nothinf about the scene where she finally re-unites with seo-ha that was delicious af#but i feel like there were just too many gaps in her memories for it to have been smoothed over y’know?#disclaimer i read the webtoon first and loved it but think it had to change for the adaptation
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#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this#so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo#i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me#my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning#so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me#i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip#and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover#but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen#this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it#but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel#and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is#i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t#the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most#like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them#the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10#and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again#he’s like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head#but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch#because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate#i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight
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Have you ever watched a show portraying your own religion in two different lights from the POVs of those who zealously worship and convolute the faith with their bigotry and misogyny and amongst the same people is a person whose beliefs are purely based on logical reasoning, philosophy and Sufism and felt such profound feelings of being seen.
#I’m beyond obsessed with this Turkish drama where different versions of Muslims are shown and way it’s such an accurate portrayal#of the misogyny with which the religion has been convoluted with#It takes place in a sect like cult of Muslims so oppressive and pathetic I wanna k!! them all#and then among the same ppl in the same evil cult is a melancholy and mentally ill man whose entire existence is based on philosophy#and asking questions his conversations with therapist are so beautiful it makes me cry#and he’s forcefully married to this young intelligent girl both are forced to marry but she’s just like him#she’s a match for with her intelligence and philosophy and compassion and the way the converse in metaphors and words make me sanity#lose* my sanity#the way she encourages him and how their relationship/marriage/ is so pure she’s so young and he knows that she’s 16 hes 23#the purity of their relationship has my whole heart can’t physical contact bc his hold committed s@uicide by jumping off a building while#holding his hands ever since he hates that#and it unlocks his truma so their marriage is nothing more than on paper but they’ve fallen in love but it’s not right#and everyone wants them to divorce so he gave HER the choice to divorce since she was robbed of a choice when she was forcefully married#AHHHHHHHHHH I CAN GO ON FOREVER#ignore my typos I’m so in love
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