#bc its not what i want nor is it what i wanna even focus on

[29121996]

.

[luffysinterlude]

★ LATE NIGHT CONVERSATIONS. . .

summary: in which zoro convinces you to see yourself from his point of view.

warnings: named fem!reader/oc, reader has suicidal thoughts (not too explicit, yet not very subtle), cursing, zoro may be ooc, angst/comfort

word count: 2K+ // slightly edited

an (1): this fic started when i got drunk and wanted to read angst. i revised it so many times and i’m still somewhat unsatisfied (hence the rushed ending) but i really love this oc i created and hope i get to write about her more :3 been feeling a lil sad bc i turned 21 and i’m still somewhat stuck in my life and uuuugh. just need zoro so bad..anyway…I’ll probably do an oc introduction next :p

ZORO thinks you’re the prettiest person in existence. He wishes he could give you his eyes so you could see yourself from his point of view. He watches you as you sit next to Robin: a blanket wrapped around your body, your head leaning on her shoulder as you listen to the conversation she’s having with Franky.

Tonight, something’s different. You don’t have the usual gleam in your eye nor does your laugh echo throughout the Sunny. Instead, your eyes are red and swollen, and you’re quieter than usual — only speaking when you’re spoken to. Your eyes meet Zoro’s for a split second, and understanding flashes in his gaze as he realizes why you’ve been so distant.

You ignore the swordsman’s curious eye, trying to be more interested in the conversation Robin and Franky are having; something about poneglyphs, but you wouldn’t be too sure because your thoughts are louder than their voices, making it hard to focus.

Tonight, everything hits you at once: your past, the present, and the what-ifs. The future remains a distant concept, with its many possible outcomes holding you back.

You think these thoughts that cloud your brain are nothing but selfish. A burning desire of yours is to quietly slip away and let your soul be free from this body and place.

You love the Straw Hats, your captain, and your crewmates. You love the sea and exploring new islands. With every stop, you hope to learn something new to distract yourself from the small part of you that wishes you weren't alive.

But every now and then, it hits you. And you feel like you’re nothing but a waste of space.

Before you realize it, Zoro’s standing next to you, offering his hand. You know the blend of sympathy, disappointment, and sadness on his face. With a deep breath and a small smile to the rest of the crew, you accept it, allowing him to pull your body up and lead you down the corridor.

+x+

Roronoa Zoro, pirate hunter turned pirate, was someone you held close to your heart. He was your closest friend, your anchor in times of darkness, and your lover.

He took care of you, even in your absence; he told you that you look out for everyone else that you tend to forget to take care of yourself.

When the crew split up and you had decided to go to Whole Cake Island, Zoro made sure Franky had sent you off with two transponder snails so he could check in on you. He’s still unsure of what happened on the island of sweets, but after your reunion with the rest of the crew he’s noticed the light in your eye had become darker.

He leads you to his room, opening the door for you and placing his swords by the entrance. You take a seat on his bed, a change from your usual behavior of lying down. Your thoughts crowd your mind again as the atmosphere around you grows quieter.

You’re not doing enough. Luffy doesn’t need you, nor do the others; you believe you’re just extra weight they carry because you’re his sister.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” You feel the mattress dip as Zoro occupies the space next to you, his body radiating warmth your way. He’s laying down, arms rested behind his head, eyes closed. You stare at the man next to you, taking in his form; despite the number of times he’s smiled in the face of death, scars and stitches scattering his body, you still think he’s the most handsome man on this earth.

“Just been…thinking,” you start. “About everything that’s happened up until now.”

Zoro hums to let you know that he’s listening, a cue for you to continue.

“Nobody on the crew knows this, not even Luffy, but I was there at Marineford.”

This makes Zoro’s eye shoot open, a look of surprise painting his face. As bad as it sounds, he isn’t too interested in learning about where the crew spent the last two years, he’s just glad they all made it back together alive. He knows that you spent time mastering your Haki with your childhood teacher, but that’s all you’ve let the crew know about.

“Grandpa snuck me in disguised as a marine — I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone if I was able to leave quietly. I wanted to see Ace one last time, and he granted me that because he owed me one for keeping an eye on Luffy when we were younger.

I was able to visit his holding cell, and the sight of him…it felt as if I was being punished. Ace was the one person who understood me and how I tend to feel, the one person I shared so much in common with. He was able to find bits and pieces of himself again thanks to the light that shines through Luffy, and when he left us I promised that I’d try and keep him safe despite the distance between us, and hopefully find myself through our crybaby brother as well.”

You’re smiling fondly at the distant memories of you and your brothers, ones that you wished were photographed so you could have physical proof of those events taking place; so even when you’re old and senile you’ll be able to remember them happening.

“Tell me more,” Zoro says. He eyes the spot next to him, and you position yourself to lay there. He allows you to remove his left arm from behind his head to use as a pillow. “Were you safe, at least?”

Of course not. You were infiltrating the World Government, and if you made a tiny mistake, you would’ve been right next to Ace on the execution platform.

“I was — you know I wouldn’t do anything impulsively, unlike some people.” You giggle, remembering the moment Luffy fell from the sky, in the middle of the battlefield. “I ended up being able to sneak away because of him. I found Trafalgar’s submarine and hopped on board and waited…and I can’t help but think that was my biggest mistake, leaving Luffy alone. It’s a heavy guilt that I’ve been carrying.”

Zoro ponders for a moment; it isn’t your weight to carry, he wants to say. Luffy went to Marineford on his own accord, and not every ending is a happy one. He’s also curious about how you were able to find the surgeon and his crew, but that’s something he’ll ask about another time.

“And when I felt Shanks’ presence nearby, I asked Law to take me to his ship — which he declined, of course — so I got off and swam there instead. The waters were surprisingly calm, so don’t panic, I’m sure Jinbe wouldn’t have let me get eaten up,” you confess to him, reassuring him that you were safe every step of the way.

You stare at the left side of his face, your arms wrapped around his body as if he was a teddy bear. The blanket you had previously wrapped around your body now covered parts of his, his arm cuddling you close as if you’d ever slip away.

“How’d it go with the redhead?” Zoro asks. His eyes are still closed but you know he’s interested in knowing; asking questions is somewhat his way of begging to know more. He isn’t as stoic as he thinks he is, at least not towards you.

“It was good seeing Shanks again. He was heading to Marineford to end the war, and allowed me to stay and hide with him until Luffy made the decision to reunite in two years. He’s actually the one who took me to my childhood teacher; it took about three weeks after burying Ace and Whitebeard to get there.”

Zoro’s curious about how you handled Ace’s burial, but again, that’s something he’ll ask about another time.

“They asked about us. It was different being the one to share experiences about life on the sea; but it was refreshing and fun…I told them all about the crazy stuff we went through, and they let me know about the reputation we’ve built for ourselves. It’s actually kind of cool how many people know of us, but also scary at the same time. It really opened my eyes though; it was probably the first time in a long time that I…” you trail off, repositioning your head to be more comfortable, the hand that lay on Zoro’s chest now tracing lines as you daze off. Sensing that he’s lost you, he opens his eye and nudges you lightly.

“I felt like I had a life purpose again. Gaining the knowledge that a lot of people had their eyes set on us as a team, it made me realize the responsibility I hold. The promises I made to both Ace and Sabo, the ones I made to you and the rest of us, and the promise I made to myself as a child — my ultimate dream: to live a long, fulfilled life.”

“Even though I felt great and motivated after that and even now, the thoughts still linger around. The what-ifs: what if I stayed and attempted to save Ace alongside Luffy? What if I got caught by the Marines? What if the five of you never found me in Loguetown?

It’s a never-ending battle, and I’m getting more tired of myself with every passing day. It’s the reason why even now I exhaust myself mentally and physically, just to escape my thoughts. I guess there must be something happening with the planets for me to experience these feelings right now,” your tone is light, almost playful, yet your words place a heavy weight on him.

You let out a sharp sigh, suddenly turning on your back and staring at the wooden ceiling. You release your Haki to see what the rest of the crew is up to, noticing that some of them have already gone to bed. The only other people awake at the moment are Luffy, Sanji, and Jinbe — sharing a late night snack and a hushed conversation.

“You’re stronger and more resilient than you think,” Zoro states. “As a matter of fact, you’re probably the strongest person I know, both physically and mentally.

You’ve faced nothing but obstacles your entire life, and it makes me wish I had known you when we were younger. You and Kuina would’ve been great friends.” The mention of your lover’s childhood friend makes you smile. He’s only ever confided in you about his upbringing, and you pray to the heavens, hoping that Kuina herself hears you ask for his protection. “I admire you so much.”

And it’s true: Zoro envies how strong you are. He wishes he had unlocked Haki at a young age. He wishes he was as smart as you. There are so many things Zoro admires about you, and he wishes he knew the words to voice it.

“I’m not great with words.” You giggle at his self-awareness but let the laughter die down as he rolls his eye playfully. “But you deserve to be here — alive — regardless of where you came from, what powers and knowledge you possess, and what happened when you were a child. I’ve watched you grow into the person you are today, and it’s been a privilege.

Sometimes, it feels as if I was a saint in my past life to experience this: the open ocean, the different people and places, and you. However you see yourself isn’t how anyone else views you. Chopper looks up to you as a guardian — and despite the small age difference, I’m sure our knucklehead captain does too. Nami, Robin, Usopp, and Franky see you as their sister. I’m sure I heard Jinbe speaking of you like a daughter, and as for the annoying waiter we call a cook, he practically worships the ground you walk on. The skeleton praised you constantly, so I’m not sure how you don’t see the admiration everyone has for you.

You’ve become one of my biggest inspirations. I’ll probably never be in the mood to admit this again, so make sure you’re listening.” He suddenly sits up and rests against the headboard, your movements copying his as he interlocks your hands with his.

He meets your gaze, and you feel like you fall in love with him all over again. He’s looking at you with pure adoration, as if he’s trying to engrave your face into his memory.

Even with tear stains running down your cheeks and puffy eyes, you’re still the prettiest person to exist. Everything about you is perfect, and a demon like me doesn’t even deserve to be in your presence, Zoro thinks.

“The time we spent apart, I took some time to think about our adventures as a crew. I’m not sure if I subconsciously did it because it was a strange feeling being away from you all, or if it was because Perona kept asking too many questions.

After explaining how the ten of us all became a crew, she pointed out that I mentioned you a lot. I didn’t think so at the time, but I guess it’s just something that feels natural to me. What I’m trying to say is…

“I love you. You know this already, but I know sometimes it feels nice to have a verbal reminder. I’m in love with you, and I know I’ll always be. And I’ll help you fight your battles, even when you ask me to give you space. I’ll do anything you want me to, just promise me you’ll let me be there for you. You — in such a short amount of time — have become my greatest weakness.

It hurts when you push yourself away from everyone else, especially me. I know you don’t want to feel like a burden, but you’ll never be one; to me, or the others. Especially to Luffy. Whether you decide to tell him you were there to see Ace, is up to you. I’m positive he won’t react the way you think he would. You’ve always taken on way more than what we ask of you, and applying more pressure to yourself isn’t going to make us look at you any differently. You’re appreciated for all that you do, and will always be.

The only thing I’m asking of you is to take the time and make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Physical battles already take a toll on all of us, and we can always help each other out, but the mental ones we face can only be taken on by ourselves. Even I find it hard to deal with it. But then I’m grounded by remembering the fact that I was put here on this Earth for a reason — everyone was.”

Your jaw is hung open at Zoro’s words; yes, he saves sweet talk for you and you only, but this was an entirely different and unexpected side of him.

You want to cry. You want to kiss him. You want to take all of his pain away and give it to the officials in the World Government. You want to cradle his face in your chest and kiss his cheeks and tell him sweet nothings; yet as you process his words, you sit there in silence.

I’m grounded by remembering the fact that I was put here on this Earth for a reason — everyone was.

Similar to the last words spoken to you by your beloved brother Ace, you feel tears slip out of your eyes and suddenly you’re trapping Zoro in your arms.

“Thank you, Zo.”

The whisper reaches him, and he relaxes comfortably in your embrace. He buries his head in the crook of your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your torso. Even though it took a lot of guts to be that vulnerable, his chest feels lighter. With a soft kiss pressed to the top of his head, you return the words back to him.

“I love you so much. Thank you for always being there for me. You’re truly one of my anchors in this life.”

+x+

You wake up the next morning alone in bed. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, except this time a note sits on Zoro’s nightstand.

Woke up to Nami banging on the door. Kind of surprised it didn’t wake you up either. Anyway, we’re docked now and Luffy dragged me out with him to explore. The stupid cook and Robin are still here on the ship, so I asked them to ring me when you wake up. If you decide to leave the ship, come find me. If not, then rest and I’ll come back to you later. Love you, Zoro.

You smile at the sloppy handwriting, your mind quickly flashing to last night’s conversation between the two of you. You sit and think about it and come to the conclusion that you no longer doubt yourself. You feel as light as a feather, hopping out of bed and changing into a new outfit for the day. You’re assuming your lover had taken it upon himself to change you, not remembering when you had put your sleeping clothes on.

You waltz into the kitchen, greeted with heart eyes and the smell of coffee.

“Good morning to you, Athena. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up, Sanji’s desperately wanting to go pick some things up. Are you feeling better now? Zoro said you were feeling under the weather this morning.” Robin’s gentle voice distracts you from worrying about the amount of blood spilling from Sanji’s nose, a soft smile on her face as you greet her back.

“Good morning! I feel much better now, like I can do anything.” You smile. Sanji’s serving you a plate of breakfast as you sit across from the archaeologist. You start to eat, trying to peek at the newspaper she’s holding in her hand. The headline makes you choke on your food.

“WHAT THE HELL? LUFFY’S AN EMPEROR NOW?!”

Your voice is loud enough that Sanji and Robin are sure the entire island could hear it. Before Sanji’s able to fill you in on what was discussed after you and Zoro went to bed, your shrieks were heard throughout the Sunny.

“WHAAAAAAT?! MY BOUNTY’S AT TEN DIGITS NOW?!”

“Well, you and Zoro missed a lot last night. We’re happy to know that you’re feeling better now though!” Robin says, a closed-eye smile sent your way.

You’re in a state of shock: reading the article that was released less than twenty four hours ago, and you hear Sanji’s tongue click.

“Maybe we should take Athena-swan to Chopper for medicine,” Eyes wide and jaw hung, you nod your head. “And probably look for the embarrassment you call your boyfriend.”

With that, you shove Sanji away from you, standing up quickly and taking hold of Robin’s hand. You grab your bag and walk off the ship with the two of them next to you, feeling thousands times better than last night.

Zoro, you say in your mind. Please don’t be lost. Eh — it’s been hours since they left. He’s definitely lost.

With a new sense of confidence and optimism, you hold your head high and continue your journey in making this a life worth living.

+x+

an (2): ahhhh yes!! athena (reader) is luffy’s sister…i have her while character outline already written. i kinda hate the ending but i also didn’t want to stay stuck on this lil story for too long…but i do want to write more abt our lovely athena and the life she’s willing to live <3

please do leave feedback! it helps me improve :) especially since i’m still learning & getting back into it!!

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - "night terrors"

Horropedia x Reader. 2.3 words. fluff, comfort Everyone knows better than to intrude on Horropedia's all-nighters and horror film marathons - even so, he doesn't mind interruptions, not if it's you. Maybe these movies can wait.

writing for Horropedia is the real nightmare bc all I wanna do is expand on little headcanons I have about him, so I end up losing the entire plot and reason I started the oneshot in the first place

EITHER WAY its done <3 another one for the sleepytime saga

The clock reads 3:00 AM - the witching hour begins now.

The weather outside seems to agree with him. Darkness falls over the wilderness that surrounds the house, with thick, grey clouds above and just the right amount of rain and wind. Enough to set a proper atmosphere for a horror movie marathon, but not as to distract him with the constant banging of windows and doors being closed shut.

Horropedia feels around the table for his snacks, eyes glued to the screen in front of him, the only source of light in his room. He's chosen one of his favorite films to begin with and ease himself into a long list of terrible B-movie slashers.

It's hard to eat popcorn when all he can focus on is reciting the dialogue from memory, in perfect harmony with the characters. Some kernels fall to the ground, entirely forgotten. The title drops with a bright, bloody font and the music swells up. He feels right at home.

But then, he hears it.

Faint steps. A gentle knock on his door.

Is this it? Is this the moment he waited for all these years? To live through some unusual and inexplicable event? Oh, but it's not even his birthday!

Horropedia pauses the movie and clears his throat. "Yes? Who is it?"

The door slowly creaks open. He swears it was locked.

There's no one outside in the empty hallway.

Silence settles in and his mind begins to race. It's too late for any of his usual guests - neither Tooth Fairy nor Blonney would go out of their way to find him at this hour. By now, everyone should be asleep. Even the more rebellious and nocturnal guests preferred to mind their business as soon as the night came.

The smile on Horropedia's face widens at this. He doesn't know who could be out there at this ungodly hour, trying to lure him outside, but he wanted to find out badly.

All he needs to do is follow the script. Oh, but what sort of protagonist could he play? There was a big difference between an innocent question like "Who's out there?" and a demand like "Show yourself!"

Full of giddy energy, Horropedia opens his mouth, ready to deliver his best performance, when a small voice interrupts him.

"Oh, thank fuck, you're actually awake."

A familiar head peeks out from the door frame - it's you, his partner in crime! The disappointment on his face must be visible even in this light, because he hears you huff in immediate protest. Horropedia sighs, long and hard, feeling his soul leave his body.

"Hey, come on. Can I come in or not?"

"You already know the answer to that," Horropedia crawls back onto the sofa, dropping face down onto the pillows and blankets with loud thud. First you make his heart leap in vain, and now you want to ask unnecessary questions?

Perhaps he wasn't clear enough in previous interactions with you - but as his partner in crime and closest confidant, you should know better. This is an exclusive privilege he bestowed upon you and only you: to come and go as you please and treat his room like your own.

When he speaks again, it comes out muffled and defeated. "Mwake fure to cwose the dwoor..."

"...What?"

Horropedia raises his head from the pillow, glasses crooked and hairpins all over his head, doing a poor job at keeping the hair out of his eyes.

"Door!" And then he plops back down.

He knows its silly and irrational to get so worked up over something like this, a small interruption, just a little setback in his carefully scheduled night. All he needs to do is count and breathe.

One, two, three. It's not that bad, he can simply rewind the movie and start from the beginning. Besides, now he has you here! The perfect companion for a marathon. Four, five, six. It's hard to breathe properly when all he's getting is a lungful of couch, but soon, that frustration in his chest dissipates. Seven, eight, nine...Ten.

Horropedia turns his head to look at you, standing in front of him after locking the door.

"So, to what do I owe this visi- OW?!" He yelps in surprise once you pinch his leg, and he recoils and sits up on instinct, rubbing that sore spot. "Hey! That was uncalled for! What happened to our peace treaty?"

"Yeah, but now I get to sit down, so it's a win."

There's something off in the way you speak - it's your tone, lower and raspier than usual. Horropedia leans closer to you, squinting. Something else catches his eye, other than the way you avoid looking at him.

"Why are your eyes red and puffy?"

Even though all he has is the faint light of the TV screen, he sees it. The red marks in your eyes, the dried tears across your cheeks - you should've known by now, it's impossible to hide anything from his watchful and attentive eyes.

Horropedia's initial thoughts are allergies, but it seems unlikely in a closed space like this house. He remains still as a statue as your expression turns into one of shock, the question catching you entirely off-guard. When you fully turn away from him to rub your eyes, he knows something is wrong.

"On second thought, that was a very dumb question. Allow me to rectify - why were you crying?" He receives no response, and so he settles for finding an answer himself.

There's the uneven rise and fall of your chest, as if you were trying very hard to hold in a second wave of tears. Your hands have turned into trembling fists on your lap, and your shoulders are tense. Did you argue with someone? No, there's no one awake at this hour. In the stillness of the night, everyone would've heard it, anyway. For you to be in such a state, seeking him out this late at night...

"Ah," Horropedia's eyes soften as it all clicks into place. "Another dumb question. But third time's the charm, my friend! May I try again?"

He doesn't wait for an answer. His hand slides into your own, gently forcing you to stop clenching your fists and interlocking your fingers and his together with ease. Like this, he can hold you steady and ground you back to reality.

"Was it a very scary nightmare?"

The way Horropedia speaks is often louder than what is commonly expected, rarely changing from that perpetual matter-of-factly, cheeky tone he's known for. But now? He's gentle, endeared by the way you stubbornly continue to hide from him.

There's a nod, and you finally turn to face him. It's a heartbreaking sight, with your face tilted down, looking up at him like you've done something wrong. You allow your hair to fall over your eyes in one last effort to conceal this vulnerable moment, but Horropedia won't allow it.

Now that he's older, Horropedia finds it difficult and, at times, stupid to cry over things he knows aren't real - those nonsensical dreams caused by watching too many horror movies, reading scary stories before bedtime or any lingering events from his daily routine. But when he was just a child waking up in the middle of the night, tears streaming down his eyes, his first instinct was the same: to run as fast as he could into his grandfather's arms, the one person who could chase away all those night terrors.

Tonight is the night he steps up to reverse those roles. Horropedia wants nothing more than to offer you that same feeling of safety.

"There's three things we can do right now. One, we can pretend nothing happened and you can join me to watch movies until the sun rises or until we pass out from exhaustion, whichever comes first. Two, we can go raid the kitchen right now for some comfort food - lucky for you, I know where everyone hides their favorite snacks."

He pauses just enough to pique your interest, giving you one of his mysterious, cheeky smiles. "Three, you lay down with me and tell me all about this nightmare you had, so I can judge and nitpick all the scary elements in it."

That earns a little chuckle from you, a massive improvement from your pitiful expression back then - that's enough to seal your fate.

Horropedia slowly takes off his glasses and sets them on the table, before pulling you into a hug and falling onto the plush cushions. He makes sure to lay by the edge of the couch with you nestled safely inside, his body fully shielding you from the light of the TV screen. There's just enough space to lay down together like this, as long as you remain pressed up against his chest.

This is a first for him, for someone who struggles with this type of contact and rarely initiates it, and yet it feels as natural as breathing when it comes to you. It feels right, and he guesses he must be doing something right when you nuzzle and curl up into him, content and comfortable.

There's no trace of that fear from before. That tense atmosphere is fully gone, replaced with something that feels just like home - it's like he's 13 again, staying up late at night, having fun and doing things that the Foundation would never approve of, those illicit sleepovers under the safety of his blanket. But this time, he has you by his side.

Horropedia is painfully aware of his lack of skill when it comes to romance - he still pets your head the same way one would pet a dog rather than a person - but he can't bring himself to care in the slightest about all these rules and guidelines when he hears you laugh and complain about his cold hands on the small of your back. Then, he feels you poke at his monster slippers with your foot.

"You're still wearing these?" Before he can reply, you kick them off and they fall unceremoniously onto the floor. "They're so lame."

Horropedia deadpans. "You literally have a matching pair."

"Yeah, some nerdy nerd gave them to me."

He realizes you're joking when you avoid his eyes in an attempt to hide that smug grin, choosing to trace the colorful patterns and slasher killers depicted on his shirt instead. Somehow, he feels his heart skip a beat at this.

"Hey! I don't recall giving you the fourth option of making fun of me all night! Now, will you share that nightmare you had, or should we wait until I die from the suspense?"

This time, you're the one who catches him off-guard by cupping his face and planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. Feeling the warmth rise from his neck to the tip of his ears, Horropedia is left momentarily speechless. Perhaps he still needs a little more time to ease into this whole physical touch thing. Nonetheless, he remains docile under your touch, especially when you begin to play with his hair.

"It's funny," you begin speaking, carefully untangling the hairclips out of that mess of brown hair, undoing his ponytail. "I can't even remember what it was about, at least not all of it. It just feels... Like it was something very dumb, even if it made me cry. I guess it's that whole thing you keep saying, about how psychological horror is scarier because there's no actual tangible monster or creature or whatever to blame for everything."

"Thank you! Finally, someone who thinks alike! The whole fear factor is greatly reduced when you can see the origin of all these supernatural or scary, inexplicable events. Humanity's biggest enemy is their own mind, and to us arcanists is our emotions. That's why, to some people, ghosts are scarier than robbers - which makes sense, despite being entirely illogical at the same time..."

It's hard to stop once he gets going, and so Horropedia continues talking, so immersed in his own thoughts and theories that he doesn't even register the way you've wrapped both arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest and breathing him in.

Every so often, you give him a weak, drowsy reply and he only realizes you've fallen asleep when all he hears is your gentle snoring. The movie continues to play in the background, but all of his senses are focused on you.

Had it been anyone else, Horropedia would've been offended. But it's you we're talking about. One of the very few people who pay attention to what he says, who cares enough to sit through hours of ramblings and to debate him on things he might've missed or overlooked. Who would never think of changing the way he is.

There's stars in his eyes when he looks down at your sleeping form, absolutely mesmerized. Usually, you're the one helping him through the tedious social interactions, to understand when he might be overstepping or acting rudely. In a sea of blank, emotionless and confusing faces, yours is the one he looks for guidance and solace. When nothing makes sense and he's lost in an abundance of unspoken rules of conduct, discipline and etiquette, your voice is the one that rises above all.

He may not know how to show it, he may not even realize it himself, but his appreciation for you runs deeper than his love for horror. Horropedia is honored to know that, just this once, he was able to help you. That he's the first one you sought out at your most vulnerable.

Horropedia presses his lips to the top of your head - a gentle, feathery kiss as to not disturb your sleep. And he remains there, your anchor to reality, as his eyelids feel heavier and heavier. The last thing he remembers before sleep takes over is your voice, not quite awake and not quite asleep, thanking him.

What are you even thanking him for, silly? Have you forgotten already? It's fine, because Horropedia will always be there to remind you: you can always count on him, no matter what.

[dsaf-confessions]

I'm gaining a minor fixation on musical theatre and this thought popped into my mind.

How would a DSaF musical work? What would the vibe be? The sets? What would the songs be about, what SPECIFIC PART of DSaF would be good for a musical (considering it's probably better to focus on one part than the whole timeline, yk?)?

Or DSaF movies, even? How many? I'm guessing one per game. What route would be touched on for either a movie or musical?

These are just silly little ideas I'm having I do not want to execute them nor to I expect it at all. Lmao it would never happen

-the. Hooker fox.

im actually a huge theatre nerd so I WILL ADMIT I HAVE CONSIDERED WHAT A DSAF MUSICAL WOULD BE LIKE BEFORE!!

personally, i have a top three picks for when the dsaf musical would be best set!

Pre-canon. Perhaps with Henry's circus, focussing on william and henry and them opening up fredbear's

dsaf 1&2, following a gnarly route -> perfect route combo. we get to see jack completing his promise mindlessly, longing for a 'life' that means so much more than this. we get to see what causes him to work with dave and kill kids and go to vegas, and the regret he feels as he realises his selfishness took over him. we get to see him desperately try to make up for what he did in dsaf 1, and having act one conclude when he gradually connects the dots about peter. act 2 could follow him desperately try to make up for what he's done, if we go based off of the idea that peter shut out jack in the rain after dee died bc of jack being framed (a common and insanely angsty interpretation) then act 2 could follow jack desperately trying to save the kids and reconnect with his brother, the guilt from murdering kids and going to vegas creeping up on him even worse now. peter shut him out under the belief that he murdered dee, and he was so desperate to prove him wrong and that he would never, but how is he supposed to do that when he did murder children? the musical could end with peter letting jack in like he did at the end of the perfect route, and him being let back in could be symbolic of jack accepting his wrongdoings and swearing to never do that again.

just, the entire dsaf lore. if u wanna keep the act1/act2 combo, then act 1 could just be dsaf1 and 2 and 2 was just dsaf3. the majority of the story would be likely told in flashbacks

im sure its very obvious which of the three ideas is my fav

-modred

[atthebell]

this may become a sort of rant but i realised after reading your post about qcellbit that I kinda wish purgatory wasn't canon to the events of the qsmp ... like I thought purgatory would be The Event that brings everyone's individual lore together by forcing them to work together to save the eggs while also making them confront each characters association with the federation... which is why its called purgatory.

but the purgatory we got was lowkey minecraft punishment for 2 weeks. It was fun to watch! I just wish none of it was canon/had anything to do with the disappearance of the eggs

who are the eye workers? hows this relevant to everything we previously knew about the island? i wanna know if the eggs are real and alive outside the island but instead we got egg attacks with these eye fuckers which was happening with the codes anyway. sooo many unanswered questions and purgatory brought even more confusion

you are preaching to the choir nonnie lmao i don't want to be overly negative on here so ive tried to keep my complaining to a minimum but narratively i hated purgatory and yes it felt like two weeks of pure punishment. there were little to no rp opportunities, the lack of player agency was exhausting, and it felt like they were playtesting an event on server members rather than creating an event that would work for lore and be a fun event itself. two weeks was far too long, what does this have to do with the regular island, why did it have to interrupt so many people's lore, why the actual hell did cucurucho save the eggs and not the players (this one ill give some grace to bc so many people were on break and frankly i just needed the eggs back period. but it is one of the most disappointing story choices for me). i liked people getting to play together in new ways, but i wish it hadn't been so long and had been a non-canonical event in the first place. similar to the eggs going missing, i think the rp that has come out of it has been brilliant, but i think it did not need to happen this way.

for a while now it feels like players are no longer the main characters and in an attempt to make overarching lore make more sense and be more cohesive, there's been too much focus on federation npcs and the eye and cucurevil-- there's too many parties at play, and none of them should be the actual focus of the story. this is livestreamed roleplay. the server members should be the main characters. it is less entertaining and less meaningful narratively otherwise. i wish players had more agency again and there were more small, character focused bits of lore going on that weren't so focused on making sure everything is interconnected. i DO have faith that this could be the case again, i there's just been a rough patch for a bit that hopefully gets better.

also listen i do not call myself a cellbit main for a reason i watch a lot of different people and i think that's a better way to go at this type of medium. however, i think im allowed to acknowledge that for my preferred POV, which is cellbit, this has been torture. ive been avoiding talking about it because it felt like idk selfish or whatever or like I'm whining on his behalf which i don't need to do, but i think it's fair to be upset by how much this has fucked his lore because as a viewer it's been disappointing as hell (and not just for him but for other RP & investigation focused people). they helped him plan out the whole murder spree arc that was going somewhere before purgatory and then interrupted it entirely, they took away his best friend who he, atp, spends most of his time either building or investigating with and doesn't really want to play without, they did not provide any clues for finding the eggs nor any kind of investigation (until the minimes which. i don't need to tell you how that went but i can assure you it was the most negative cellbit has ever been about the server and he was still very polite about it).

i know he talked about the server moving from investigation centered storytelling to more pvp/conflict-centered storytelling, but, frankly, i don't think that's working out, especially not for him. and considering the break he's been on in part due to fatigue from purgatory i think this whole period of time has just not worked for what he wants to do with his character. i have faith he'll make it work, and i think the admin team is really good at addressing players' needs (especially cellbit who will just tell them all the stuff he wants), so i have faith in them as well. it's just frustrating considering how much it has sucked to be a qcellbit viewer for the last. idk two months if im being generous four if im not. it's hard bc im not a person who deals in idealism so i don't want to be like "i wish it all had never happened from this exact point" and i do like some of things that have come from rp post-eggs disappearing and even during and post-purgatory. so idk where im going with this anymore anyway i think there are ways to go about fixing this and making the narrative less clunky and focused on players again and allow for individual lore again, i just wish that that had remained the case continuously. sorry for the rant ill try to tag this appropriately

[kiarpennington]

So……I have something to say….a lot to say really, and I really wanted to hold off bc it’s just been literal hours since the news dropped, but I can’t hold it……and it might piss some people off but……The Hunger Games should’ve stayed a trilogy

Before I get into my spill, two things: No, you don’t have to agree with me BUT stay respectful. And just bc I’m in the minority and don’t wish for the media to turn into a universe DOES NOT mean you can’t still enjoy it. These are just MY opinions

With that said, I really use to be a Hunger Games fanatic in my adolescence. While I’ve somewhat cooled off of it, I’d still consider myself a big fan of it. And I’d like to think it was bc I’m such a fan of it that I feel it’s run its course.

To backtrack a bit, a year or so ago Snow’s prequel story came out and now…..in another two years, there will be a Haymitch prequel (or rather, a story set during Haymitch’s games). In Snow’s story, the themes were that of psychology, sociology, nature vs nurture, and all that. In Haymitch’s, it’s hinted that the themes will be that of propaganda and how we view it.

While these add ons don’t necessarily take away from the og story, personally don’t feel they add to the themes of the og nor do they tell a different aspect. People praised TBOSAS for the moral questions it posed (are we born this way, does our environment change us, etc) but for me—especially regarding Snow—those themes can be seen in the og story. And I certainly don’t wanna judge before it even comes out, but I feel the same could be said of a discussion of propaganda. At least, I feel there was talk about propaganda in Mockingjay and even in Catching Fire.

To another, and admittedly petty, note I do find some ironic humor that some of the same people who were so insistent that it just HAD to be Snow’s story to be told and no other story (lest we be horrible capital citizens rooting for another HG) will be some of the same people to ride so hard for Haymitch’s story as well as the possibility of others now that THG has a real possibility of expanding into a several book series.

But I digress. Anywho, my big two issues is that one, why can’t THG stand on its own as a trilogy? For those that don’t know, Collins was inspired to write THG while flipping in between news coverage of war in the Middle East and reality television. So what’s really changed to the point that your themes need to be expounded upon? Genuinely? With the acknowledgment that we’ve seen some horrific things regarding war recently, personally don’t think it’s anything the og DIDN’T already touch on. Personally, there’s no need to add “new” themes. If bigots didn’t get it in THG, what makes Snow, Haymitch, or others so different that they’d get it with them, especially given how, I feel, the same themes are being played on.

Two, and this is a problem with media in general these days for me, but must we continue to milk content that’s was already wildly successful and popular? Like sure, if it sold once, it’ll sell again. And I’m not even opposed to reboots—just let them be pieces of media that never got their due. Outside of that, there are so many NEW, FRESH pieces of media that have a hard time getting picked up bc people would rather focus on things that they should let die(or rather, things that they should let stand the test of time as opposed to revamping every few years). Especially medias written by Black and Brown people.

And speaking of Black and Brown writers, their stories with actual Black and Brown characters are pushed aside as far as live actions (and even in publication) for other stories with the SAME themes written by non BIPOC to sell largely and then be whitewashed when the adaptation comes round. It’s not cool.

Another note, so many people are praising Collins for dropping commentary (that she’s already written) on how messed up society is every couple of years. And, to be that person, what I’M seeing is praise of a white woman who observes mainly BIPOC hardships, writes and profits from them, without saying much irl….Not saying she’s said nothing—I’m sure she has at least once—but again, personally, nothing she’s writing isn’t anything she didn’t say in the og, so why not speak out irl as opposed to profiting off of fictional versions of oppression. Maybe that’s an unfair criticism for me to have, but that’s where my mind goes.

Bc, bottom line, to continue to expand this story, IS to profit of THG. I guess all this to say I have to come to terms with Collins, someone who wrote such a deep and commentary piece, not being exempt from being a Capital citizen…..nor are we as consumers (yes, I count myself altho I didn’t enjoy TBOSAS and have not real intention of really engaging with the latest one—regardless of who’s story is next). And sure, maybe that’s the point, that we’re all capital citizens unconsciously (or even consciously…..like Collins by continuing to add on, thus profiting off THG.) Honestly, if I must be a capital citizen, I think I’d rather be Effie. When she gained consciousness, she tries to no longer blindly follow the capital (even if she did miss coffee 😅)

In all seriousness though, it does aggravate me that I’m in the minority in feeling this way. Like sure, enjoy the stories, no one’s stopping you—even I argued for a Haymitch story over Snow (but I had preferred ANY story over Snow 🥴) but after seeing Snow’s story I’m just not confident that I’d really get anything meaningful from the story (and I should as is the point)—but at least acknowledge what it is: a capitalization off of BIPOC hardships written by a white woman (who may have had good intentions) which will then be pimped out so that other non BIPOC people get to feel as tho they are at the center of the revolution. Or, did we forget that everyone loves a revolutionist until they don’t look like them…..🤷🏽‍♀️

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 😅😅

[fatsmyname]

for so long i did not think i could be a lesbian because ive known i am transmasc. but now i am thinking and i am like. hm.. HOW DO YOU KNOW. because i feel like i am attracted to other mascs but not men. like i would not date a cis man. i just want to date butches. ive always identified as bisexual, i know i am attracted to women.... i feel like the issue is that im mostly t4t and i just cannot tell what that means anymore. also i am worried im just questioning this bc i have a crush on a butch nonbinary lesbian rn so i am worried i am just like trying to make shit up so we can relate more. but also my ex is a butch nonbinary lesbain and i always related to them so much. I DONT KNOW. I ALWAYS thought i was into men and most of my OCs are men who are into men but maybe i am just a butch into butches and i did not know how to express that other than like being a transmasc who wanted to be in a mlm relationship. but man never felt right and ive always felt an attachment to lesbianism even tho i thought i was into men but maybe im just into mascs. ANYWAY I DONT KNOW WHY IM SENDING THIS TO YOU I AM JUST TRYING TO FIGURE MY SHIT OUT

hehe hi anon first i just wanna say i did laugh a little at the desperation in this message its very endearing to see lol. secondly!! there's no pressure to have an answer to these questions! you don't have to know the ins and outs of ur attraction to other folks nor do you ever have to explain urself to other peoples/prove yourself to others. sometimes attraction is just odd and something you can't control.

i will say to just focus on whats comfortable for you. if you find yourself leaning towards butches, then go for it! butch4butch romance/dynamics can look a lot like mlm ones, so maybe that's why you've always gravitated towards those. i mean, half the characters in media that im attracted to are men! because i see parts of my masculinity in them and love to see masculine people with other masculine people. lesbianism has got tons of gender fuckery, so you are fully welcome within the world of lesbians no matter what! if the word lesbian resonates with you for whatever reason, then more power to you if you decide to take on the label :3

ur always welcome to pm me to talk more about this tho! i understand your confusion haha, it took me a couple years to take on the lesbian label, and i've since come out twice (as butch and now transmasculine). you never stop learning new stuff about urself lol

[fruityumbrella]

hello i'm here for the wip game and i'm picking scraps!!! 👀 👀 👀

yay scraps!!! thats the one ive been working on the most lately, started off as a random snippet of a scene (the doc is called scraps bc ive got two other fic ideas there just so i dont forget them if i ever wanna explore them later. 12.75/13k of the words are for this story now 😭)

looking for an excerpt but its 90% nsfw and every sequence is very long winded, but i love robin and sanji, so here's a little scene w them that also reveals a little of what the fics about..

He’d run into her while lingering in a clothing shop a few islands ago, so fucking guilty and ashamed, and entirely caught out, that he hadn’t even gotten five words into an excuse before giving up. And really, there was no point. It was Robin. She’s smart enough to put two and two together even if most others would have chalked it up to some weird girl-crazy antic of his.

She was, as always, good enough not to pry, but she didn’t pretend not to see him and leave either. Maybe she knew that would have sent Sanji into a spiral. Instead, she ran a critical eye over the racks and pulled out a black, knee length skirt, neither flowy nor skintight, and held it up for him to examine. He had stared blankly for a minute, still trying to reorient himself to the situation but eventually calmed by her warm expression. He nodded slowly, and she smiled in that sweet way that was reserved for nakama. She added the skirt to the items neatly slung over her arm, and he accompanied her while she finished browsing. When he tried to pay she laughed him off, telling him he shouldn’t waste his budget before he’d seen the island delicacies in the market.

and ok i couldnt resist adding another short bit that's way more indicative of the overall tone here but i put it under the cut so this post isnt crazy long + its a little suggestive ig and im shy

“If I took you every time I wanted you, Cook…” he rakes his eye over Sanji with that familiar feral look, only this time it's unbridled. There's almost no Zoro left beneath the beast. He trails off with a harsh bark of laughter that makes Sanji shudder. He can’t get his thoughts together, everything spinning wildly out of his control; Zoro’s anger and frustration, the harsh reality he’s just painted, so different from how Sanji remembers things; the obvious, overwhelming desire that matches the fire in Sanji’s belly. It’s all too much to process. All he can focus on right now is keeping Zoro with him, on him, making him stay. “Then take,” he rasps. He has a hard grip on Zoro's arm, nails digging in to stop him leaving. “I'm right here. Take me.” He still has that mean glint. “Right here?”  Sanji pulls until Zoro is pressing him into the mast. “Yes. Here.”

[femmesandhoney]

Lol no im asking beacuse i wanna end up in academia as well (although a different field than sociology) and like idk what to do if it doesnt work or how im gonna financially support myself for 8 years. No one in my immediate circle knows how it works. So that's why i asked im sorry if i seemed hostile

oh i understand. i understand the bare minimum as well, since each grad program i look at has vastly different ways it finances you. which btw im really only looking into paid or heavily aided programs that are worth their salt. theres no reason for me to try and waste money in a worse grad program that im shilling a lot of money for. many of these programs will cover or aid you in many ways bc theyre more selective, but worth it if your long term career plan is to be a prof. most of these programs really only wanna see candidates that are PhD focused, at least in the social sciences. i cant speak much about other fields.

what i mean by this is you do have to have some level of commitment to the idea of academia and professorship because those years will be tiring and you will probably experience burnout eventually. so you need to be prepared to really look inside yourself if academia and teaching will be an endgoal that makes you very happy, enough to deal w the slog of academic battlegrounds and stuffy professors you might hate and dealing w the short end of the stick more than half the time bc professors aren't paid well in general. if you can still see the sun at the end of that shit storm of work and slogging, then i would encourage you to continue to focus on academia. if not, don't let it bother you. there are many other forms of masters programs, even some online, if you're just looking for that extra bit of credentials but don't necessarily want a Ph.D.

obviously you can try and get loans, i'll probably still need to take some more out for grad school even with a paid program if its one that isn't fully covered. theres really no way around having to work thru grad school or while getting ur PhD unless you're coming from a well off background. im planning to work as much as i can. obviously apply for scholarships and similar things, those can help. and if you're really finding it hard, speak to the schools financial aid center and see upfront how they can help you more. most schools are apt to discuss and find ways to help.

but yeah like i don't have specific jobs in mind, im not there in grad school yet nor know what my financials will be like if im accepted or not, but ofc there will be loans and there will be work and there will be many years of school to get towards my goal of being a professor because talking about sociology is what makes me happy and i get a good feeling when i think about driving conversation amongst students in my own classroom. and i hold that feeling and its not as daunting.

[lilacponds]

omg charlie q n a

3,4 (guessing animal crossing), 7, 11, 16, 18, 25, 44, 46, 48

KAI YOU COME OVER TO ASK STUFF TOO !!! I LOVE U OMG /p

3: Zodiac sign?

I JUST ANSWERED THAT ACTUALLY OMG IM A GEMINI AND IN THE OTHER ANSWER I PUT A SCREENSHOT OF MY OTHER SIGNS !!!

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win?

Ummm that's hard actually, I don't play ACNH everytime I want to chill.. YOU KNOW WHAT I haven't played this in a HOT minute but it's a good time to say PAPERS, PLEASE !!!! yes i do like getting shit right but the whole process of it is so relaxing and fun for me, i love going on endless mode every once in a while !!!! i LOVE LOVE LOVE stuff like that !!!!

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?

YOU !!!!!! AND IM NOT SAYING IT JUST CAUSE YOURE THE ONE ASKING, i love ur writing style so so so much omg . i dont read enough in general atm to have other answers anyways but you'd still be up there if not still first place even if i did !!!!

11: Favourite song?

THIS IS HARD !!! Atm it's W.I.T.C.H. by Devin Cole probs !!! OH OH OR MACHINE LEARNING BY J. MAYA, OR OVER IT BY ARROWS IN ACTION, OR I WANNA BE IN LOVE AGAIN BY MADDS BUCKLEY !!!!!

16: TV show I always recommend?

omg i never recommend shit i dont watch stuff enough uhhh I ACTUALLY HAVE RECOMMENDED BROOKLYN 99 A COUPLE TIMES its so funny i love love love love it

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down?

I DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO WATCH MOVIES LATELY but im always a slut for pride & prejudice if anyone asked me to watch it at any point in time my answer would always be YES !!!! the one w keira knightley of course

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?

I DONT ACTUALLY HAVE ONE I DONT RLY FOLLOW ACTORS THAT MUCH ????? MAYBE ELLIOT PAGE I LOVE HIM

44: Last book I read?

I reread Hunger Games last but before that, my fully first read through, was probably The Martian !!!!! my friend bought it for me and its SO FUNNY ITS SUCH A GOOD READ

46: Do I play any instruments?

NO I DONTTTT i would love to but im a SCRUB !!!!! i dont have a lot of coordination and i cant do two different things with my hands NOR focus my brain on two things at once properly (IM SHITTY AT HAVING ADHD EVEN LOL) so its hard BUT MAYBE ONE DAY !!! I WANT A KALIMBA

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow?

THATS HARD, I ONLY RECENTLY GOT BACK ON TUMBLR ????? purely on content, then it's u, my friend Crow, my friend Ash, the gbpatch blog bc im a slut for their games, ANDDD the wayhaven chronicles blog i forget the name atm hold ON seraphinitegames i googled it there u go bc im waiting for the 3rd book with BATED BREATH

TYSM FOR SENDING THESE IN !!!!!

[chewinglass]

There is comfort and discomfort that comes when you recognize that you are a pattern.

I’ve been feeling ungrounded, like my life lacked the grand narrative structure it usually contains, and like it has for a while. I think it’s because I’ve been hesitant to commit to one.

I’m a bit drowsy sweepy weepy cozy wozy rn please forgive me.

I’m beginning to trust that over time I become more of who I am. Because I see it happening. It’s strange, I’ll surprise myself but with a face even more familiar than my own. I know I’m evolving because my capacity to criticize and forgive my past self has expanded. I see her and know her better than she could have known herself because she rejected herself more than I reject myself. I think this will be true for future me too. We pave grooves, muscles form, but sometimes we also unearth deeper truths, we finally give them space to exist. Letting go of the reigns rather than holding them so tight our nails cut into our palms permanently scarring ourselves.

I’ve been pushing myself to become “this person” but this person is just me. I’m kind of doing it naturally. I can’t stop it. It’s the type of butterfly I am supposed to be. I’ve felt so misunderstood by the world that it feels like something I have to enforce and defend but it’s ironic because that mimics behavior of someone who isn’t it.

I hatched butterflies. Two hatched early and had deformities. One pulled down two others when they formed so one didn’t form a chrysalis, the other one half formed it, and the one that pulled them down was buried. I’m not sure if it was the buried one or the half formed one, but I thought one had hatched and let its wings dry misshapen so it would never fly which would be a terrible life for a butterfly so it would be more humane to make it die. So I searched for ways to kill a butterfly, something that wouldn’t ruin my morning more than three awareness that I needed to do this already did. One online source suggested I put them in the fridge, and then the freezer. Well today, when I started unpacking ice cream mochis into the fridge, I saw an upright butterfly. I pulled it out and it began to move, and eventually, fly. It flew more than all of the others. I interpreted a very profound lesson but I’ll keep it to myself. It’s not hard to intuit. Basically just suppression rebounds. I have been suppressed for so long, I think my rebound will be a sight to witness. It’s mildly terrifying but exciting.

I must sleep gn xoxo

Other update: I’m constantly considering what it would look like to throw my life away and focus on the basics for years bc life is already suffering and I kinda just wanna make the things I want to make and they’re going to take so much time and money stress is so distracting so I can either make a lot, raise a lot, or cut spending a lot. Or get married. But I dislike everyone so maybe get adopted? Become a garden hermit? I’m not ready for marriage nor do I want it. I have been suffering for years and feel like nothing will make it stop and I don’t want to burden anyone else with it. I just wanna be cool as fuck so that maybe someone will want to bear my suffering with me one day because then it will be cool and socially acceptable and rewarded bc rn it’s just lame and weak and I offer literally nothing in return because I want to spend all of my time working or taking care of myself.

[uhm-hi]

I wanna draw but I havent lately bc i should be packing for my move soon or i should be doing work I'm behind on, but by the time evenings come around I'm exhausted from work and don't want to do more of it and now I just find myself wasting time on tiktok not doing what I want to be doing nor what I should be doing

It's like if I do art then I feel guilty abt not being productive

If I do work when I'm tired then I find myself fucking reading the same emails over 10x not understanding jackshit and its a fucking waste of time + just makes me more tired and stressed

If I pack when im tired then I can't hold my attention on the fact that I'm supposed to be PACKING instead of getting distracted by the shit im supposed to be packing and its again more draining to force myself to focus on the task

And when I do none of these three I'm just getting nothing done and wasting time and not even having fun wasting time bc now I'm stressed out about wasting time

[stacycpr]

Pretty short text ahead if ya want to read. I'll be very thankful if you do <33

Just few days ago... I opened my "phone", I saw I passed!! Damn, like really I was at my dumps and accept it... but no xD

Well, I'm pretty actually the lowest from my class still, I'm happy that I passed. Much for my fam's disappointment yet wont bring me to repeat another year.

I have to attend summer class tho, but besides that I'm still grateful. I may not brought achievement like "honors" stuff, I'm crying with joy even I've done worst this year.

I pretty much learned and experienced how to be at the end, being at the lowest during this year. Tbh, I'm pretty boastful when it comes to my academics, like it's pretty easy to me accomplish every task and I go at my siblings saying stupid stuff bc of my achievements I get every year. Now I know what they felt and other students too struggling, bc I never failed with school.

I'll be trying my best next year instead! Always focus with your studies guys because its for you, not for your parents, your teachers nor other people. It's for you.

And that comes to learn many things to enhance yourself. Not just academics, other stuff too in life and I wanna learn to do the right thing.

Thank you for reading up 'till here. I felt both sadness and joy of what I received, sad that I let my parents down especially with my behavior but they're still kinda happy either way!!

I know to myself that I have no one to accuse but only me bc of my carelessness. Congrats to other graduates too this year, everyone!!

[love-amihan]

| ʜᴏᴍᴇ | ᴊᴊᴋ | ᴀᴏᴛ | ʜǫ | ꜰɪʟᴏ | ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛs | ᴍɪᴍɪ |

GAMER BOYFIES // YUJI, MEGUMI, TOGE

amihan's note: just imagine these boys being gamers 🤔 i don't play that much games so ig im gonna focus on codm and among us bcs your girlie don't have a setup nor a good laptop to dl good games with 😩✋ here you go, happy reading!

bf!yuji x gn!reader, bf!megumi x gn!reader, bf!toge x fem!reader

-itadori yuji

will let you sit on his lap whenever he plays

chin resting on your shoulder

off-mic if ever you're with him

you tell him where the enemies are

teaches you how to play because he wanna play with you

great support whenever you're his teammate

your screen displays your character dramatically falling down causing you look back to your boyfriend with a pout, "i don't wanna play anymore!"

you huff and cross your arms, yuji chuckles at your pouty face leaving a kiss on your lips.

he lifts you up from where you're seated pulling you to his lap, "come on now, don't let one kill throw your game" he sweetly encourages you.

"fine," you turn to your screen showing that an enemy killed you yet again, yuji couldn't help but laugh at your screen.

you throw a mini tantrum tossing your phone to the side, huffing. he wraps his arms around you his phone screen coming in your sight.

his fingers maneuver fast on the screen skillfully killing the enemies, yuji gives your neck a light peck as a silent apology and continue playing the game.

"stupid game" you grumble under your breath nuzzling your back to yuji more giving up on playing choosing to watch and point out to your boyfriend instead.

whenever you play au with him, he'll always set bets on it

if he's the impostor he always kill you first then laughs at you

"babe continue your tasks" he says while humming happily

when the tables turn though... he gets all pouty and glares at you

he really takes it seriously like baby it's just a game

but give him a kiss all will be forgiven

you're peacefully waiting for your task to finish when you get a glimpse of someone walking towards you.

that someone being the same color your boyfriend usually use. you shrug it off thinking he's there to do his task too.

once your task is done, you see him standing there causing for both your characters to fall in a staring contest.

until your boyfriend decided to kill you and walk away from the scene like nothing happened.

you let out a loud gasp dropping your phone on your lap looking at your boyfriend from across the room.

"what? i'm decent enough to let you finish your task!" he tries defending himself, you roll your eyes at him.

"next time i'll kill you first, i don't care if it's in front of the other crewmates," yuji giggles, loving how he easily gets you riled up.

-fushiguro megumi

he's the quiet one on the team

always has his mic on but seldom talks

wants you to be near him whenever he plays

why? because he wants your praises when he wins

he killed an enemy after sniping? immediately looks at you, praise him!

when you're his teammate, he's sticking with you whether you like it or not

his teammates gets annoyed since you're the only one benefiting from him

megumi will probably trash talk them

which is so out of character of him

you two eventually gets kick out

ended up playing duo because of megumi

not that he's complaining though

you're leaning to your boyfriend's side as you watch him play his game.

you hear the muffled cries of his teammates through his earphones as their enemy pulls through.

megumi scopes in aiming for a headshot, clicking the fire button. he successfully kills the enemy, his gaze fleeting up to look at you.

you smile at his cute actions, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, "flawless" you simply commented.

he turns back to his screen with a smug look on his face, really getting into game now.

"i'll join next game?" you wave your phone to him asking for permission, he nods as his screen showed bold letters of winner.

when you tell him to be the look out as you do your task, he innocently follows you

he ends up getting killed because you're the impostor

he gives you the most betrayed look as you giggle walking away from the scene

never follows and stays far away from there on

doesn't believe anything you say anymore, even though you're telling the truth

gumi's bby: someone come with me, gonna do long task

yes, it was megumi who told u to have that name

you send in the chat, trying new tactics to eliminate the crew faster, so far the impostors has killed one crew.

after the meeting, you all do your respective tasks, megumi end up going with you since he's done with his tasks.

you stand where the long tasks usually are, megumi stays behind being the lovely boyfriend he is.

he keeps a look-out for you as you pretend to do your so-called 'task'. you move closer to him.

both your characters in close proximity, you make a kissing sound giving an illusion of you giving him a kiss in-game before pushing the kill button.

you heard a soft gasp from him as you run away from the scene while giggling, "how dare you" he whispers.

you shrug "i gave you a smooch," he groans as his character floats around, yeah at least he got a smooch.

-inumaki toge

also have his mic on all the time

enjoys catfishing players with you

he always throws off the game

but when his teammate starts throwing tantrums he just full on pops off

in the end he's the mvp

if you start talking shit out of nowhere

toge just laughs

but if his teammates starts asking personal questions

he will start making his presence known

if you're on all mic however, and the other team starts talking shit because you're a girl

he won't stop targeting that particular player, game be damned

he won't let the player play

he will kill him everytime he respawns

"woah dude your aim is shit" you say as toge's phone replays the kill cam.

the opponent used a whole damn mag just to kill him. toge stifles a laugh, your voice full of sincerity.

that one must have went straight to his heart. "pfft, like yours is any better. be a good girl, go and make me a sandwich" hate these kind of guys the enemy replies, his voice can be heard by all.

toge frowns at this, you look at him with your mouth agape. unbelievable, he really pulled out that shit card, "show him," you whisper to his ear as he nods at you while smirking.

his character is already making its way towards the enemy. once finding the enemy, he switches to knife and did a clean cut causing him to die.

you snort and mock him, "pathetic" you let a low laugh, toge smiling wide.

the other players are also laughing hearing the frustrated shout of the enemy, "like mine is any better huh?" you taunt him.

toge's teammates are entertained by the scene letting him kill the same enemy over and over again using knife.

due to frustration and anger the enemy leaves the game, you double in laughter, "fucking pussy" you kiss toge's cheek, as a silent 'thank you'.

now in among us though, whenever a meeting is called he always tells you're the impostor

makes up shitty excuses saying you're really the impostor

you defending yourself, other players believed his lies

'y/n was not an impostor' you look at him then scoot away as he tries getting closer with you again

your phone displayed your character floats away in space, your name appears on the screen informing you're not the imposter.

you glare at toge who's laughing at his screen, you groan and move away with him. he notices you moving away and whines trying to get closer to you again.

but you didn't let him get any closer focusing on your phone. toge pouts still trying to cuddle with you, one of the crew calls a meeting as soon as it's available.

you forget about getting away from toge when you see that he got all the vote, you laugh, his character floating away.

toge successfully gets a hold of you and snuggles to your side. his phone long forgotten, not wanting to play anymore and just cuddle with you.

copyright © 2021 by love-amihan all rights reserved. do not repost in other platforms. reblogs are welcome and highly appreciated! <33

[retrogradedreaming]

UHHHH maybe,, you could write a little thing for reki making the sk8 fam tea? and kaoru thinking hes gonna have to pretend he likes it but then "oh wait reki can actually make tea what-"

just bc this has been living in my head for awhile sdkljfs

(capt-snoozles)

It turns out I am completely incapable of writing ANYTHING short, so have a full one shot type thing, I guess. I hope it's okay that I kinda borrowed headcanons from you and @that-was-anticlimactic for Reki with TS at a couple of small moments in the fic?

----

It used to be Kaoru alone who visited Kojiro’s restaurant when it was closed on Mondays. But since the start of winter break, Sia la Luce had become much livelier now that Reki, Langa, and Miya weren’t in school all day, and Shadow came when his days off lined up right. If Kaoru were being honest, it took some time to get used to the space no longer being only his and Kojiro’s, but he’d grown to like how their group came together like this.

The afternoons were the quietest part of these days. Kojiro took these opportunities to try out new recipes on them, leaving everyone contentedly full and pleasantly sleepy. Today, Langa had actually fallen asleep in the booth, and Reki sat beside Kaoru at the counter, playing with a tiny skateboard and making soft sounds like a small motor. Shadow and Miya sat at a table across the room, arguing over whether clown or cat makeup looked cooler while Kojiro finished cleaning. Kaoru let himself sink into the lull, Reki’s noises and that of the skateboard wheels on the counter an almost comforting presence beside him. And yet, one thing was missing, keeping him from truly relaxing.

“Seems like a good afternoon for tea,” Kojiro said, as if reading his mind as he appeared out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “You want me to make some?”

“Absolutely not,” Kaoru scoffed. “People who microwave their tea should be arrested.”

“There’s no way you can tell the difference,” Kojiro said, defensive. “Hot water is hot water.”

“Only an uncultured pig would believe that,” Kaoru snapped. He was about to stand, to tell Kojiro he’d make the tea himself like he always inevitably had to, when Reki all but leaped from his seat, skateboard abandoned for the moment.

“I’ll make it!” he offered, and the way his face lit up meant that Kaoru took too long to say not to bother. By the time he’d found his words, Reki had already bounded around the counter and into the kitchen, and Kojiro didn’t even try to stop him. Before Kaoru could tell Kojiro to stop him, Reki called out to Kojiro, asking about the industrial stove, and soon, Kojiro was not only allowing Reki to make the tea, but encouraging him.

Kaoru supposed this was a step up from Kojiro’s microwave technique, but if Kaoru were likely to trust anyone other than himself to make a decent cup of tea, it wouldn’t be Reki. The idea that he’d wanted his tea made well and was unlikely to receive it as such set him on edge. As he listened to the water boil and the conversation continued around him, he found himself wrapping a strand of his hair around his finger and tugging, letting it go, and repeating the process until his scalp hurt. He didn’t even notice that Langa had woken up until he appeared beside Kaoru and spoke.

“What’s Reki doing?” he asked.

“Making tea,” Kaoru said, doing his best not to appear so anxious about something so small.

Langa peered over the edge of the counter to where Kojiro and Reki were talking in the kitchen, and then turned back to Kaoru. “I like how he makes it. I never liked it before I met him.”

Kaoru hummed a halfhearted response. He doubted that Langa’s standards were very high, given that he’d grown up in Canada. He’d likely had tea often enough, given that his mother was Japanese, but Kaoru knew from experience that plenty of people even here in Okinawa had no idea how to brew a proper cup. It was about timing, knowing how hot to make the water, how long to steep the leaves, and so many people rushed the process—or worse, forgot about it and steeped too long—that Kaoru preferred to make his own.

He couldn’t help but envision Reki handing him a bitter cup, or one that tasted like little more than hot leaf juice. He grimaced at the idea of having to drink it and pretend he liked it, suffering all the while. He would have to wait until he was home later to make something better for himself.

He was still trying to think of a polite way to decline the tea he’d obviously wanted when Reki came out bearing a tray of steaming cups and began making the rounds through the restaurant. Reki handed the first one to Langa, who accepted it, smiling softly up at Reki. Langa sipped the tea immediately, only to flinch and draw it away after the first sip.

Not promising, Kaoru thought. If he’d boiled the water, it was ruined, even if it was something as simple as green tea. And yet, Langa only took another sip while Reki looked on approvingly.

“It’s good,” Langa finally proclaimed, and Reki glowed as if he’d received praise from the emperor himself. Reki moved on, handing Kaoru his cup.

“Thank you,” Kaoru said, accepting it with both hands. Fortunately, Reki moved on to Shadow and Miya without waiting for Kaoru to try it, which meant that he didn’t know Kaoru only held onto it without making a move to taste it. If nothing else, he could enjoy the warmth that crawled from his fingertips all the way to his elbows.

Neither Miya nor Shadow hesitated in drinking theirs, though Kaoru couldn’t imagine they cared much how it tasted, as long as it was hot. And yet, as he watched, the two of them looked just as pleased as Langa when they tried it.

“Oh wow, the slime makes good tea,” Miya pronounced, hugging the cup close to him like a space heater.

“Damn, this is pretty good,” Shadow said, drinking deeply and draining half the cup. “How’d you even learn to make it like this?”

Reki shrugged, taking up his own cup, the last on the tray. He set the tray down on the counter and took the empty seat beside Langa. “I dunno, I guess I just picked it up over the years. It’s kinda like making skateboards, y’know? You have to figure out how all the parts fit together, and if you do it wrong, the tea doesn’t taste right.”

Kaoru looked up at him from the murky depths of his tea, brows raised. When it came to making tea, the analogy was rather profound, and Kaoru couldn’t argue it. Reki was right—tea was about the sum of its parts, the pieces fitting together perfectly. And as with building skateboards, the person making it had to know exactly how to combine each piece to create the whole.

“That doesn’t make any sense, but whatever,” Shadow said, taking another sip. “All I care about is that it doesn’t suck.”

“How come you’ve never made us tea before?” Miya asked, eyes trained on the Switch he’d pulled from his pocket now that he’d abandoned his conversation with Shadow.

“I don’t really have the patience for it,” Reki said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s kinda like, if I don’t wanna put in the time to do it right, why bother?”

While everyone was wrapped up in conversation, Kaoru finally chanced a discreet sip. If it was as bad as he’d expected, he could school his expression appropriately while they were all distracted. Perhaps he could even get away without having to lie about how good it was. And yet, when the tea touched his tongue, he paused.

It wasn’t too hot.

It wasn’t too weak or too strong.

It wasn’t too bitter and the leaves didn’t taste as though they’d been burnt.

It was, as far as Kaoru was concerned, some of the best tea he’d had outside his own home. For a moment, he couldn’t find the words to say so. He sipped it again, just to make sure he hadn’t deluded himself based on everyone else’s praise. Sure enough, it was almost more delicious the second time.

“You surprised?” Kojiro murmured at his ear, his own cup dangling from his fingertips. Kaoru jumped, nearly spilling his tea. When he turned to face him, Kojiro’s lips quirked in a smug grin, and he raised one brow meaningfully. Kaoru shot him a hard glower in return, a silent command to keep his mouth shut before Kaoru turned back to Reki.

“It’s delicious,” Kaoru said, and it wasn’t forced in the least. “I’m impressed.”

Reki, who had already immersed himself in talking to Langa, gaped at Kaoru, one of his hoodie strings falling from between his teeth. Then, he flashed a wide grin. “Glad you like it!”

“Have you ever practiced tea ceremony?” Kaoru asked, reluctantly setting his tea down on the counter.

“Nah, my parents let me try it once when I was younger, but I kept messing up the steps,” Reki said. “It’s not really fun when people get mad at you for doing it wrong.”

“I studied it for some time,” Kaoru said, remembering how the order felt comforting, how the amount of concentration it required gave his anxious mind something to focus on, how the simple yet refined aesthetic felt like clearing his head. In recent years, he didn’t have time for it with his calligraphy business, but a part of him missed it. “It’s quite a bit different from drinking tea like this, but if you wanted to, perhaps we could do a...modified version of it. Something less formal with everyone here.”

Reki’s eyes brightened, and he looked to Langa, who only seemed to share his enthusiasm. “It sounds fun, yeah! A lot better than getting yelled at by a bunch of old people because ‘tradition.’”

“I’d say so,” Kaoru said, and they devolved into talking about their favorite teas and the best ways to brew them. Kaoru couldn’t remember the last time he’d talked to someone who actually understood that tea was an art even more than it was a drink. But Reki did, and when the rest of the group finally left, leaving Kaoru and Kojiro alone in the restaurant to clean up, Kojiro nudged him with an elbow.

“You didn’t think Reki could make tea like that, did you?” he said, the words teasing but too close to Kaoru’s own thoughts for comfort.

“Shut up or I’ll leave you here to wash dishes alone,” Kaoru quipped, even as he accepted the next cup to dry. “I will admit, I was pleasantly surprised.”

“I knew you would be,” Kojiro said as he dried his hands and stretched.

“Anything is better than microwaved tea,” Kaoru said. And although it was true, he couldn’t help but look forward to the next Monday, and the last before the kids started school again.

[oh-no-its-bird]

I love the founding father focus on Tobirama bc there's SO MUCH THERE!!!!! LITERALLY SO MUCH!!!

He literally helped to build a brand new, never before seen society! He was at ground 0! Not just that but he continued to shape it through the years, past Madara's betrayal, past Hashirama's death, into the first shinobi war— the Konoha we see in canon is absoloutley his brain child bc of the simple fact that he was the last man in charge standing. He was literally military dictator, ultimate leader, past the point of any of the other founding fathers surviving. I'm sorry but by the time of his death, there was no system in Konoha that passed by that he didn't at minimum give a pass to.

And then obviously Konoha was the first village, and their system was then reflected across MULTIPLE COUNTRIES!! Can u say trend setter? I love it sm, he helped to birth an entirely new political system and form of government and was (at least as far as we are told / implied in text) the last of the big figures of the era to exit the main stage

My favorite canon compliant thing to point to for the lack of recognition despite the fact that these guys should be so painfully recognizable on every level that it's stupid, and I'm so sorry bc I'm m gonna reference 2 different scenes in 2 different fics of mine bc I like how I wrote it here, but :

✨️ Military dictatorship information supression babyyyyy ✨️

Konoha politics are so fascinating, especially if you really try to sit down and think ab all the different clans and agendas and also the fact that of the three most arguably influential clans who founded Konoha (Senju, Uchiha, and arguably the Uzumaki if you take Mito into account and what she must have brought to the table politically) only ONE is still around. AND NOT FOR FUCKING LONG!!

The political balance on that must be INSANE. I can see someone like Danzo, or anyone else who might have a motive to lessen the Uchiha's importance in Konoha culture and history, using the fact that the Senju are no longer around to also put pressure on teaching less and less about the Uchiha's own involvement in Konoha's founding. The fact that the Uchiha mostly involved in the villages founding, Madara, is someone that the Uchiha obviously don't want to fucking talk ab, probably also helps in them slowly being pushed out of the narrative.

I'm sorry I've gotten incredibly off track, this was supposed to be ab Tobirama

Anyways the lack of recognition and historical importance is probably just one of narutos many writing flaws but of u sit down and think about it in terms of a shinobi military dictatorship run on secrets and information suppression, I think there's definitley potential there to make for a fascinating narrative

Your every man may not understand the true importance of Tobirama, nor might even the higher guards in ANBU— but the important men and women in charge, the Hokage and his immediate advisors, do. And what does that tell the audience?

Were also given so little about the founding era, especially in terms of characters. Like we're p much given 4-5 guys (Mito, Hashirama, Tobirama, Izuna, Madara) plus 2 bonus side characters lucky enough to be named (Touka and Hikaku) and I guess Butsama and Tajima if you wanna reach back further but even that's iffy.

And when were given so little, I feel like Tobirama's character, just by virtue of being who he is, comes with just SO many implications not just about him as a man but ab the era he was born into / the people around him / etc. He invented fucking NECROMANCY. You don't just DO THAT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT. I FEEL LIKE ITS KIND OF GLOSSED OVER ACTUALLY. MY MAN STRAIGHT UP INVENTED ACTUAL NECROMANCY THEN JUST KINDA SHRUGGED AND WENT "WELL BIG BROTHER SAID NOT TO PLAY W THIS ONE SO I GUESS I WONT :/"

OR AT LEAST THATS WHAT WERE FORCED TO ASSUME BC THEY DONT ACTUALLY FUCKING TELL US!!

LIKE EXCUSE ME???? SIR???????????

Also he's hot. I like his design and Im weak to mad scientist coded characters, so I really never stood a chance 👍

i feel neutral at best about tobirama but the way you draw him does strange things to my . what i meant to say was he's very cunty i like it

Don't be shy, feel free to stick around. I promise to feed you cunty Tobirama content to ur hearts content

I aspire to do strange things to everyone's .