#also i just got scheduled for three rounds of job interviews which is great and im super thankful but now thats another stressor

[uhm-hi]

I wanna draw but I havent lately bc i should be packing for my move soon or i should be doing work I'm behind on, but by the time evenings come around I'm exhausted from work and don't want to do more of it and now I just find myself wasting time on tiktok not doing what I want to be doing nor what I should be doing

It's like if I do art then I feel guilty abt not being productive

If I do work when I'm tired then I find myself fucking reading the same emails over 10x not understanding jackshit and its a fucking waste of time + just makes me more tired and stressed

If I pack when im tired then I can't hold my attention on the fact that I'm supposed to be PACKING instead of getting distracted by the shit im supposed to be packing and its again more draining to force myself to focus on the task

And when I do none of these three I'm just getting nothing done and wasting time and not even having fun wasting time bc now I'm stressed out about wasting time

[quicksilversquared]

I have just had three emails added to my Do Immediately That Means Now list, because a) a job that I applied for just got back to be and wants to do an interview, which is good, but that also means that b) I need to email my supervisor about that right now because we’re supposed to do two weeks’ notice if possible and. Uh. I’ll be interviewing on Monday or Tuesday and the job, if I get it, would start the following Monday. I work on Sunday and then have nothing currently scheduled until the following Saturday, so if I text her now, that would maybe qualify? And then c), someone reached out to me on the roommate finder site and tbh I don’t think that it’s a great fit, but I might as well investigate?

also I’m doing this on like five hours of sleep because I went to bed later than intended last night, couldn’t fall asleep until 1, and then my upstairs neighbors got up at fucking 5:50 in the morning and banged around for at least 20 minutes (they did at least cut it out after I banged on the ceiling with a mop, though it took a few rounds of banging; it may have been less the mop and more just them being done getting ready, who knows). Was too annoyed to fall asleep again quickly, then my alarm went off at 7. My brain is mush.

[scapegrace74-blog]

Ginger Snap, Chapter 6

A/N  Well, here it is.  The last chapter of Ginger Snap.   As an unplanned fic inspired by a vanity license plate, I’m happy with how it turned out.   There will be a short epilogue posted in the next week or so.  In the meantime,  thank you so much for coming on this unexpected ride with me!   This chapter’s themed title is Fire in the Belly.

Previous chapters are best enjoyed on my AO3 page, because I have a bad habit of going back and editing them after they’ve been posted.

The next five months were some of the most difficult of my life.  

After our talk, Frank and I agreed that it would be best that we parted ways.  The Southside flat was close to the university, plus I’d never truly felt at home there, so it made sense for him to keep it.  Fortunately, we’d never combined our savings and I still had money tucked away from my time as a medical resident in Boston.

Geillis wanted me to move into her sprawling Murrayfield home, at least temporarily, but I knew that I needed a place of my own.  To stand on my own two feet, as it were.   Which was how I found myself moving my few belongings into a modest Morningside walk-up as the rest of Edinburgh celebrated Hogmanay with fireworks and drunken revelry.

I scheduled the written component of my medical licensing exam for February.  This was likely foolhardy, but I’d already wasted enough time.  As a result, almost every waking hour was dedicated to studying.  The flat remained an empty box whose naked beige walls bore witness to my rudimentary existence.

Geillis called regularly, reminding me to eat and to occasionally step outside for a breath of fresh air.  Returning up the high street from one of our weekly coffee dates, a bright flash in a shop window caught my eye.

I stopped and stared as the afternoon sun lit the vase like a shard of stained glass.  It was a profound shade of blue: the colour of a field of indigo, of the night sky in a Byzantine icon, of Jamie’s eyes when he laughed.  It sat on my windowsill, filled with the season’s first daffodils, as I pored over practice exams.

***

“Geillis, I passed!  I fucking passed!”  An elderly woman seated across from me on the bus muttered under her breath about vulgar Sassenachs, but I was too elated to care.

“Of course ye did, ye brilliant disaster.  Now I can brag tae the neighbours I have my own personal physician.”

“Not so fast, Duncan.  I still need to pass the clinical exam, and that’s no small thing.”  My gut twisted just thinking about it, but unlike the written exam, there was little I could do to prepare.  Either I knew how to perform as a doctor or I did not.  The long months since I’d last treated a patient loomed like a large shadow over that question.

“Och, yer bum’s oot the window Claire,” my friend dismissed blithely.  “Ye’re gonna do great.  When do ye head down tae yer homeland, then?”

“May first.”  The practical examination took place in Manchester and needed to be scheduled three months in advance.

“Sounds like ye’ve got some time on yer hands.  Whate’er are ye going tae do with yerself?” Geillis asked in a singsong voice.

Fortunately for me, spring was Edinburgh’s most pleasant season.  Its many gardens and laneways erupted in carpets of buds and blooms.  The air smelled fresh and green, like biting into a tart apple.  I took long walks and fell in love with the city I now called home.  There were secondhand bookstores to explore and a weekly craft market where I gradually amassed an assortment of items that made my flat feel like a home.  With each passing day, my existence felt more and more like a life; one I defined for myself.

I also started to explore my options for employment, hoping for a job offer from one of the city’s hospitals that was conditional upon my successful completion of the licensing process.  It was to that end that I found myself walking down the corridor of The Royal Edinburgh hospital after what I hoped had been a rather successful interview with the deputy director of surgery.

“Claire?”

I recognized her voice immediately.  Before turning around I closed my eyes and sent out a fervent appeal to the universe.

“Jenny, hi.  How are you?”

She looked just the same, her straight black hair such a contrast to her brother.  Next to her stood a man, but not the man I had conjured the moment I heard her voice.  I was unclear whether that meant my prayer had been answered or not.  Seeing my gaze stray, Jenny jumped to introductions.

“This is my husband, Ian.  We’re here fer treatment on his leg.”

“Nothing serious, I hope.”  

“Jes a fitting fer a new prosthetic.  Jenny keeps beatin’ me o’er the head with the old one, ye see.”  I laughed, instantly liking his easy-going manner, so in contrast with Jenny’s intensity.

“Ye must be the Claire I hear sae much about,” he went on, and I wondered what had been said about me in the Fraser household.

“Nothing bad, I hope.”

Ian smiled warmly.  “Only good things, I promise ye.”

“What brings ye tae the hospital, Claire?” Jenny interjected.

I explained how I was in the process of qualifying to practice medicine in Scotland, provided I could pass my exams.  Jenny and Ian were both delighted, congratulating me as though I’d already accomplished my goal.  As we spoke about Wee Jamie’s latest exploits and the ongoing growth of Ginger Snap, I couldn’t help notice that Jenny was staring at my hands.  At my left hand in particular.  Finally, I couldn’t resist temptation any longer.

“And, how is Jamie doing?”  I tried to sound casual, but I was certain my faltering voice betrayed me.

“Very well,” Jenny replied.  “Busy, as ye can imagine, but he thrives on chaos.”

I nodded, trying to be satisfied with the news that he was well.  It was the most I could hope for, really.  Jenny eyed me shrewdly before continuing.

“He’s a good man, my brother.  Any lass would be verra lucky tae have him.  I’d like tae see him settled, but he refuses tae be rushed.  Says the right woman is worth the wait.”  She paused before adding,  “I reckon ye ken wha’ he means.”

“Yes,” I breathed.  “I know exactly what he means.”

***

I took the overnight train from Edinburgh to Manchester.  It meant I was likely to arrive at the testing centre deprived of sleep, but I rationalized that most of my residency could be characterized as one long evaluation under similar conditions, and I hadn’t killed anyone yet.  Still, as the velvety darkness slipped by outside my window, studded by the lights of passing farms, my doubts got the better of me.

I texted Geillis, looking for moral support.  For once she didn’t reply immediately.  There was one other name on my laughably short list of contacts.  I deliberated for all of a minute, but the late hour and creeping panic made me impulsive.

Hello.

Best to start with something innocuous, rather than the slightly more revealing “I miss you.  I think about you every day.”  A reply bubble appeared immediately after I hit send.  At least I hadn’t woken him up.  A small tempest stirred in my gut.

Arsonist.  Hello.  How are you?

I tried to picture him.  Was he at home?  Working late?  Or, in a scenario that played out far too often in my mind, on a date?

I’m alright.  Well, to be honest, I feel like I’m going to puke and cry.  Not necessarily in that order.

Och, lass.  Do you need me to come over?

Damn it, this man.  I had done nothing to deserve his unswerving loyalty but mislead him and then disappear for months on end.  And yet here he was, willing to come to my aid on the flimsy pretext of a late night text.  Guilt and tenderness warred for possession of my heart.

That may prove a bit difficult, Jamie.  I’m on a train to England.

There was a long pause, and then a two letter reply.

Oh.

I realized at once that he’d leapt to the wrong conclusion: that I had left Edinburgh for good.  I rushed to correct the error.

I’m taking the second stage of my examination to practice as a NHS doctor tomorrow.   It’s all hands-on situations, and the licensing facility is in Manchester.

Arsonist, that’s wonderful news!  I’m so proud of you.

I blushed, then leaned my heated cheek against the chilled pane of glass.  It had been a rash impulse, but this conversation was exactly what I needed.  I wasn’t alone in this.  Geillis and Jamie were in my corner.

What has your stomach in a twist, then?

What if I’ve forgotten what to do?!  It’s been almost a year since I’ve so much as used a stethoscope, Jamie.  The exam is eighteen real-life situations and you’re given eight minutes to respond to each one.  Not a second longer.  I’m just...  what if I fail?

And there it was.  The kernel of fear that lived at the heart of everything I did.  What if I failed?   What if my best wasn’t good enough?

Claire, listen to me.  You’re a doctor, just as I am a chef.  It wouldn’t matter if I had not set foot in a kitchen in ten years, I would still remember how to cook, and I know that it’s the same for you.  I believe it with everything in me.

On some level, I knew that he was right.  But it still comforted me tremendously to hear it from someone I trusted.

Alright.  That helps.  I should let you get to bed.  Thank you for talking me off my ledge, Jamie.

Anytime, Arsonist.

As I got ready sign off, another text bubble appeared.

Oh, and Claire?  Don’t burn down their wee laboratory, okay? ;-)

I laughed out loud, muting my phone and reclining my seat.  Outside, the stars shone brightly, tiny fires in the firmament to guide me on my way.

***

It was a lovely late spring day, and the retractable doors to the fire station were open to the warm breeze.  I could hear Angus’ voice as he led a cooking demonstration for a group of young women; a bridal shower by the look of their ridiculous costumes.

��Mind the coriander, lass.  Tis a verra powerful aphrodisiac, ken?  I willna be held responsible if ye canna resist my considerable charms after ye eat yon soup.”

There was an outburst of giggles as I rounded the corner and entered the reception area.  Jenny was on the phone.  She halted mid-sentence when she saw me walk in.  I rubbed my hands down the front of my jeans, trying to stay calm.

“He’s in the storeroom, in the back,” Jenny prompted before I could even offer a greeting.  I smiled gratefully, relieved I didn’t have to make small talk.  I had only so much courage stored in reserve, and I didn’t want to use it all up before reaching my destination.

The storeroom was long and narrow, lit by a single naked bulb and girded with shelves.  Jamie stood with his broad back to the door, his curls absorbing the light like amber.  He had a clipboard in one hand, performing some kind of inventory.

“Jes how many lentils dae ye reckon we need, Janet?  There’s nine cans of them here already, and ye have us ordering ten more.”

I’d almost forgotten how much I loved his voice, the undulating grit and silk of it.  I had to remaster the art of speech before I could reply.

“It’s not Jenny.  It’s me.  Claire.”

He froze, and if it weren’t for the sudden rapid flow of his breath I would have assumed he hadn’t heard me.  My nerves got the better of me and I blurted out, “I like lentils.  You should listen to your sister.”

“Claire.”  More sigh than word.  He slowly turned.  It was when our eyes met that I knew nothing had changed for him.  It was still there, after all these months.  That look that told me I was the map to his journey, the focus to his vision, the reason to his why.  

Hopefully he could read that same certainty on my face.

“I passed my exams,” I began.  “I’m a doctor again.”

“Ye never stopped bein’ a doctor.  This jus’ makes it official.”

“I’m still a disaster in the kitchen,” I continued.  “Last week I ruined two saucepans.”

“Tha’s only a tragedy if ye dinna have someone willin’ tae cook fer ye,” he replied with a strange squinting motion I understood was meant to be a wink.

“I’m still learning who I am.  How to be true to the person on the inside,” I confessed.  This is what had kept me away for so long, worried that I would escape from Frank’s orbit just to be caught up in another.  Jamie never once expected my submission, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t offer it out of habit.

“I’ll let ye in on a secret.  Sae is everyone else,” he replied.

Without realizing it, we’d both been moving until we were crowded together amongst the dried herbs and canned goods.  My hand rested against the solid metronome of his heart.  Just one more confession to go.

“I burn for you in a way I’ve never burned for anything before.”

There.  It was said.  A thousand wings of rapture beat against the cage of my ribs, clamoring to break free.  Jamie carefully pushed a loose curl behind my ear before cupping my jaw.

“Wee arsonist.  Come, set my life on fire.”

[btsslowburnfic]

BTBY Ch. 18

Series Summary:  For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: Sorry the taglist hasn’t been working. I’ve started tagging my local to check  -_-  Let’s get these two back together, what do y’all say??  Previous chapter here --------------

Time passed on with you living on Joe and Xavier’s couch. You had gotten into the habit of texting Namjoon on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes about important stuff, but mostly, and surprisingly it was about dumb shit. He would send you photos from the cities where they were touring or of food. It was finally your turn to return the favor. 

Joe and Xavier got married a few months after you moved in. Joe was offered a position with a Broadcasting company in New York City that was too good to pass up, and so the three of you all packed up and began the long drive to your new two bedroom apartment in New Jersey. 

NJ: What exactly am I looking at here?

Y/N: The World’s Largest Mailbox.

NJ:.........

Y/N: And here is the World’s Largest rocking chair.

NJ: Why am I looking at these things?

Y/N: Haha, haven’t you ever been on a road trip? We’re stopping to see weird things along the way.

NJ: No. I haven’t. My family always vacationed in the same places growing up and management shuttles us around.

Y/N: ha! Well next time you come to the USA I am sneaking you out for a road trip. 

NJ: You’ll have to do all the driving sweetheart, I don’t have a license.

Y/N: Waaaat?! Really? Fine. You can be in charge of navigating.

NJ: That is also a bad idea but I admire your excitement. G2g, interviews. So. Many. Interviews.

You smiled and put the phone back into your purse. You had saved a table for the three of you in the diner next to the World's Largest wind chime. 

“More coffee, honey?” The waitress asked, holding the regular and decaf pots as she made the rounds.

“Yes please. And 2 more menus. My friends are walking over now.”

“Sure thing.”

You put your hands around the cup, enjoying the feeling of warmth spreading through your fingers.  It was early in the morning and you were trying to give them some private time in the hotel room so you had left early to do sightseeing in the small town of Casey, Illinois. It had not disappointed with it’s array of random big shit. 

You heard the bell ding and saw the two men enter, looking sleepy but happy. You didn’t need to wave seeing as there were only ten tables in the whole place, but you did so anyways out of habit.

They sat across from you, as the server walked over and handed them some menus. “Good morning fellas. What can I get you to drink?”

“Coffee.” They responded in unison and then laughed.

“You got it.” She walked away from the table.

“Did you guys check out the windchime?” You asked.

Xavier squinted at you, “Darling, you are way too happy for this early in the morning. No. I have not looked at a windchime.”

Joe put his arm around his husband’s shoulder. “I’m sure we’ll look after we have breakfast though. Why are you in such a great mood this early?”

“No reason. I guess I just think the town is cute and weird.” Your phone pinged.

“You’ve been talking to your boyfriend-not boyfriend.” Xavier said.

You rolled your eyes at first but then a smile crept across your face, “Well I guess I was excited to finally have some pictures worth sharing. He always sends pictures from everywhere that look super cool. And I never have anything other than coffee and LA traffic. Which he has already seen. So unimpressive.” 

The waitress dropped the coffee off at the table and then took the food order. You took your phone out and snuck a peek while Xavier and Joe were discussing the merits of turkey sausage versus regular. 

NJ: You should come see me sometime.

Your eyes grew wide and you threw your phone back in your purse as though it was made of poison. That was a sudden shift in conversation.

“What the hell?” Xavier laughed.

Your eyes remained wide as you looked at both of them. You had imagined visiting him, but to you it was just a pipe dream. Your texts were never romantic in nature or anything. The two of you never mentioned the soulmark or the nights you had spent together or anything, You bit your lip nervously. “He asked me to come visit him. After we get all settled in New York.”

“Fucking go. Book that flight now.” Xavier exclaimed loudly, drawing a few looks from some of the older locals. 

You laughed nervously. “Why so we can awkwardly hang out, have sex, and then never speak of it again? I’ve already done that twice.”

“Yes. That is a great reason to go.” Joe deadpanned. “Absolutely. Go get that soulmate dick. Oh also, because you like him and you would get to see a different part of the world. And you’re between jobs right now. I can’t think of a reason not to go.”

You took a sip of your coffee. “I’ll think about it.”

-------------

“Has anyone seen my phone?” Namjoon asked. The other guys had been in the break room for a while, but as the leader he had a few more duties he needed to tend to before he could be done for the evening. The interviews had finally wrapped up for the day. They had done 6 online ones back to back. 3 in English and 3 in Korean.  He was exhausted from translating and answering questions. The guys were always extra chaotic during the English interviews.

“I think it’s over on the table.” Hoseok replied, sending some messages on his own phone.

Jimin got up quickly, pulling V along with him,“ we ordered food. See you guys later.” They left the room.

Yoongi was sitting at the table texting as well, “I’m hungry too. Why didn’t they invite me?” He pouted.

Namjoon picked up the phone to see if you had sent him any more weird pictures. He felt bad sending you pictures all the time from all over the world. He felt like a spoiled brat. He knew they had worked hard to get to where they were, but the fame and success and everything that came along with it still felt so foreign to him. He unlocked the phone and checked the messages.

“What the fuck?” He looked up from his phone. “Jimin! Taehyung!” He yelled. Of course it was pointless. ”Yoongi? Can you unsend a message once it’s sent?”

Yoongi blinked slowly, he was also tired and confused by Namjoon’s sudden yelling. “Why are you asking me? I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“What did they do?” Jungkook, who had been quietly sitting on the couch next to Jin asked, his big doe eyes full of concern.

Namjoon scrunched up his face and wiped it with his hand, pausing to pinch the bridge of his nose. “They texted Y/N and told her I wanted her to visit.”

Jin let out a surprised laugh, “Oh my God.”

*Jungshook*

“Well you want to see her don’t you?” Yoongi said calmly

“I mean I do but she doesn’t want to see me. Remember? She left.” He replied. He was going to kill them. Maybe the IT staff at BigHit could help him. He grabbed his coat, determined to find out. 

“She left in the middle of the night because it’s hard to say goodbye. You’re the one who left the country.” Yoongi said, putting his phone down.

Namjoon looked over, sighing. His phone pinged.  

Y/N: Maybe ^_^ I don’t start work for a little bit after we get moved in. Let me know your schedule! I got my passport renewed.

Namjoon stood there opening and shutting his mouth a few times.

The room stayed quiet for several seconds.

“Did she answer you?” Jungkook tentatively asked.

Namjoon slipped his phone into his pocket and ran a hand through his hair. “She did. She wants to know my schedule.”

Yoongi got up. “Great. Jimin and Tae can live. I’m going to go join them for food.” NEXT CHAPTER @calling-dips-on-j-hope​  @ghostkat23​ @cuteipat​ @marianeamine​ @thisisval​ @almonte12​  @themisunderstoodblackswan  @bobbyboops  @betysotelo18 @katerbees

[adenei]

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride - Chapter 5

AO3 || FFN

Ron

Ginny: Chelsea Cake Shop. 14:30.

Me: Wow, thanks for the short notice. Not like I had other plans or anything.

Ginny: Oh, shut it. I know you covered your weekly wedding last night.

Me: So I can’t have a personal life, then?

Ginny: LOL don’t make me laugh.

Ginny: One more thing...you know how you use a pen name for your professional career? 

Me: ...and you use one in your personal life sometimes so people don’t know you’re a famous female football star?

Ginny: Yeah…

I did not like where this was headed so I pressed the call button and put the phone to my ear.

“Please don’t!” she answered.

“Ginny, do not tell me that your fiancée only knows you as Jenny.”

“What was I supposed to do? My maid of honor, the one who introduced us, only knows me as Jenny. I couldn’t just drop a bomb like that in front of them both! I care about her friendship too much!”

“Obviously not enough if you’ve been lying about your identity for five years. Are you really that distrusting of people?”

“No! It’s not that. It’s just— Look, my schedule has had me all over the place with training and games that this is the first off season we’ve spent a lot of time together. I know she’s my neighbor, but with our schedules we were lucky to meet up once a month when I was in town. It was just easier, and she became too good of a friend, and a constant in my London life that I didn’t want to jeopardize that.”

“And now you’ve got a maid of honor and a fiancée who think you’re Jenny Warrington and not Ginny Weasley. That’s great Gin, really great.”

“Can you please just cover for me today? If the press finds out that Ginny Weasley’s getting married, it’s going to be a shit storm. I have to keep the cover.”

“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”

“Thanks, Ron.” She sounded relieved, but I was still on edge.

“Just be careful. There’s a lot of people who might get hurt from this web of lies you’ve created, including yourself. So don’t fuck it up anymore, alright?”

Ginny was rarely ever quiet, but she didn’t respond to me right away. That’s how I knew I’d gotten through to her. At least that’s what I hoped.

“I know,” she finally said. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“See you,” I said as I hung up the phone.

~o~

I walked into the bustling cake shop and reminded myself that this was business. It was not a family visit, and the two people Ginny said she was going to be with did not know that I was her brother. They’d have to be really dull to not realize it when they saw the two of us next to each other, though. The only major difference was our eye color and height.

As I looked around in search of my sister, I noticed another familiar face. What in the bloody hell was Hermione doing here? Maybe she was with her newly engaged friend, but of all the bakeries in London, what were the odds they’d also choose this one? I forgot to keep looking for my sister as I stopped to watch her conversing with the baker. It seemed like she knew him rather well, which made me wonder if other brides also used this place for their wedding cakes on her recommendation.

I finally saw Ginny come into view from behind a table with several five tier cake displays on it. She was holding hands with a relatively scrawny man with messy black hair and glasses. He didn’t look like her normal type, so I guess that could be a good thing.

As Ginny made her way over to Hermione, I felt my eyes widen a bit. No fucking way. Maybe she thinks Hermione works there. Yeah! That was it! Except that it wasn’t; Ginny looked up and saw me standing there and waved me over. Fuck.

“Oh good, you’re here!” I heard her call.

I watched as Hermione turned around to see who she was talking to. She froze and her face became pale. Ginny’s fiancée seemed to have gotten a phone call, and he dismissed himself briefly.

“Hermione, there’s someone I’d like you to meet!” I heard Ginny tell her as she grabbed Hermione’s arm and pulled her over to me. “This is Billy Weston! I spoke to him yesterday about covering our wedding, and he agreed! I was honestly surprised he had the opening in three weeks!”

“Three weeks?” I said as my eyes widened. 

She shot me a death glare, and I knew it was a warning to not blow her cover. In my defense, she left that part out in this morning’s conversation. So that was on her.

“Yes, three weeks. Remember? I told you that on the phone when we arranged for you to meet us here today.” She bulged her eyes out at me in much the same way she did when Mum pissed her off.

“Oh, right. How could I have forgotten. My apologies, Miss Warrington,” I said in my most polite business voice.

I flashed a grin at them as my eyes settled on Hermione. Her expression was a mixture of confusion and anger. This probably wasn’t good.

“Anyways,” Ginny forged on with the conversation, “this is Hermione. She’s my maid of honor, and a wedding connoisseur. She absolutely loves your column! A lot of my own ideas and inspiration have come from the articles she’s clipped and saved from your writing.”

 There was sparkle in my sister’s eyes as she basically told me Hermione was obsessed with my alter ego. I couldn’t help but smile even wider at Hermione, who was shaking her head vigorously at Ginny. This was going to be fun.

“Well, it’s always nice to meet a fan. I’m flattered,” I said as I held out my hand.

She looked down at my hand in disgust before her eyes shot back up and matched my own. “You can’t be Billy Weston. He’s so imaginative and romantic and well spoken, and you’re so—”

“So what? Please, I’m on the edge of my seat here,” I chided. I couldn’t help that it was so easy to get her going.

“So cynical and negative and—and that’s not even your name! Unless you lied to me when you introduced yourself as Ron,” Hermione said with a huff.

“I am Ron Weasley. Billy Weston’s just my pen name. Can’t have all the crazy column lovers like you be looking me up and stalking me, now can I?”

“Wait, you two know each other?” Ginny said, slightly alarmed.

“Barely,” Hermione answered before I could explain. “We only met at a wedding a couple of weeks ago,” she explained to Ginny. “Can I speak to you in private for a moment?” she rounded on me through gritted teeth.

Oh, here we go, I thought, as I followed her back out the door. I gave Ginny a sympathetic shrug on my way out. The door had barely closed behind us when Hermione let loose.

“You lied to me!”

“No, I didn’t,” I responded simply.

“Yes, you did! You lied about who you were at the wedding—”

“No, I didn’t. I introduced myself using my given name. I am Ron Weasley, and I am a writer. You never asked what I write about, so I never told you.”

Who the hell does she think she is? Telling me that I’m the one who lied! I felt my ears growing hot as I was trying to control the anger. I knew it wouldn’t be good for either of us if I lost my temper. All the progress I’d made the other night at the bar was already in jeopardy. I needed to focus on the story.

When I looked back at her following my retort, I knew I’d gotten through to her because it took her a moment to regain her thoughts and respond. Ha! One point for Weasley.

“So, which is the real you, then? Are you secretly a romantic on the inside and you just pretend to be a love-hating pain in the arse? Or do you really just hate weddings that much and are ironically stuck writing them?”

That was a loaded question, and one I was not about to answer truthfully outside of a bakery. “What does it matter? I was hired to write commitments, and if I get paid, then of course I’m going to do it. Not everyone has to love their job.”

She let out a groan of frustration. “Do you even know how to give a straight answer? Or is that part of your journalism training, too?”

“Guess you’ll have to continue getting to know me to find out. Now, technically I’m here to interview Jenny, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back inside.” 

I could see my sister watching us through the glass with that dark haired guy staring awkwardly. Oh, right, that’s Hermione’s boss, too. For a city with over seven million people, this was turning out to be a small, small world.

Hermione

I thought weekends were supposed to be fun and relaxing. This one was anything but that. The cake tasting appointment was a disaster. Not for Jenny and Harry! No, for me. I finally got to meet my wedding columnist idol, and he was the one man I loathed more than anything in the world.

Maybe not quite loathe, but very close. After all, we did have a good time the other night. But he lied to me! He had every opportunity to tell me who he really was, but he didn’t. And then Jenny had to go and blab my secret that I loved his articles! Worst day ever. 

I put the last plate back in the cupboard when there was a knock on my door. It was probably Jenny. Not bothering to look through the peephole I opened the door. It wasn’t. No, it was the last person I had any desire to see. Seriously? What the hell was he doing here?

“Go away,” I said as I tried to shut the door in Ron’s face. 

“Come on, you’re not even going to ask what I’m doing here?” he asked.

“No. I know what you’re doing here. You’ve come to lie again,” I retorted.

“For the last time, I didn’t lie. Come on, Hermione, I just have a few questions to ask about the bride and groom, that’s all.”

“And you could have easily done that earlier today,” I told him. 

“Last I checked, you took off before I even had the chance. And since the wedding’s in three weeks, we’ve got a lot to cover in a short amount of time.”

I had to admit, Ron was really clever when it came to persuasion. Not that I was surprised; he was a journalist, after all. Knowing he wasn’t going to leave me alone, I opened the door a bit wider to let him in. I made sure to shoot an eye roll in his direction to let him know I wasn’t pleased.

“Thanks! I can see that ‘saying no’ thing is really going well for you,” he said with a smirk. 

Damn him and that lopsided grin. I walked around to the sofa and sat down and he followed, sitting on the opposite side. It wasn’t in my nature to be inhospitable. Even if I didn’t like the guest.

“I’ll have you know I almost said no to being Jenny’s maid of honor until she gave me this bangle,” I said, holding up my wrist for him to see.

Ron held a voice recorder up to his mouth and clicked it. “Maid of honor folds easily when bribed,” he said.

I quickly grabbed it from his hand. “No, the maid of honor actually thought the gesture was really sweet and genuine. Of course she was going to say yes to one of her best friends!”

Ron snorted and I gave him a disgusted look. “Just ask your questions, will you?”

“How did the bride and groom meet?”

I sighed. Because of my stupidity, I thought resentfully. “Do you remember the night you brought me my Filofax at the club? I invited Jenny to join me and they saw each other from across the room. It looked like one of those ‘love at first sight’ meetings that you see in movies.”

“Huh. The hopeless romantic painting a perfect picture. What would you call our meeting, then? Wasn’t that some sort of noble act on my part to help the damsel in distress?”

Ron was looking at me in what appeared to be complete seriousness. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not as I felt my jaw drop. After a few moments of awkward silence I burst out into laughter. 

“You can’t be serious! Sure, it was chivalrous. You almost had me, too, until you started sputtering your wedding hate nonsense in the taxi. I would hardly call you being the first one I saw when I woke up and helping me home ‘love at first sight.’” 

He laughed along with me. “That was harsh. I did manage to get a date out of it, though.”

“It was a moment of weakness,” I said defensively.

I watched Ron look away as he shook his head at my strong headed nature. I felt my heart tug against my chest as I noticed how attractive his smile was in profile. No...there was no way I was going to let myself feel anything but annoyance and dislike toward him.

“So, what else do you want to know?” I asked. 

He looked back up at me, and I could see the thoughts whirring in his mind through his eyes. Before he asked me anything I saw him freeze as he looked over my shoulder. I had a feeling I knew exactly what he was looking at.

“What is that?” he asked, and was out of his seat before I could respond.

“Nothing!” I said as I leapt up to try and beat him to the closet.

I was barely able to slip between him and the half open doors. It was a constant battle to keep them shut because it was overflowing. As I tried to push my weight against them, Ron leaned in and put his arm against one of the doors, wedging it open against my back. I knew it was a lost cause to even try and hide it, especially after he caught me in two weddings a few weeks ago, so I slid out of the way and let him see the closet’s contents.

“Holy shit,’ he said with a breathy laugh. “You kept them all? How many are in here anyway?”

“That doesn’t matter!” I said defensively.

“What is with brides? This whole mentality that they have to make their bridesmaids wear dresses that are the ugliest thing ever so that they look good? Aren’t they supposed to pick their friends? I don’t get it,” Ron said, shaking his head.

“That’s not what it’s about at all! Every wedding has some sort of theme, and every bride has some sort of vision that they want the dresses to match. It’s different for everyone! And they’re not all bad! Some of them are really elegant.”

It wasn’t a lie. There were some I enjoyed wearing. Others deserved to be burned, but Ron didn’t need to know that. 

“I dare you to show me one that’s not bad,” he challenged.

I laughed in his face. “One? Please, that’s easy!”

I shooed him away as I turned to the closet and dug my way through the tulle and satin, finally deciding which one would eat his words.

“Ha! See? This one was really nice!” I held the hanger with the dress up against my body as he cocked an eyebrow in my direction.

“I don’t know...I think I’d need to see it on,” he said contemplatively.

We stood there staring at each other for a moment, until I finally relented. I wanted to prove him wrong, and if this was the only way to do it, then so be it. 

“Fine. I’ll be right back.”

I marched into my room with the dress and shut the door. What was I doing? A man was over at my flat who I didn’t know very well, and now I was trying on a bridesmaid dress to prove a point? Ron Weasley was so infuriating, yet when I stopped to really think about it, I was kind of enjoying his company. Arguing just seemed to be our thing. 

I zipped up the dress against my back and turned to look in the mirror that was mounted on the back of my bedroom door. It was a strapless black bodice, and the skirt was made of multicolored tulle that splayed out like lightweight feathers. The colors were a mix of pastel pinks and soft blue-greens that cascaded to the floor. A large black bow connected the black top with the skirt. 

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and walked back out into my living area, where I saw Ron still investigating the closet full of dresses. 

“Well?” I asked.

He turned around to look at me as I posed with my arms out in a question. Before I realized what he was doing, he held up a digital camera and snapped a picture of me in the dress. I didn’t even know he had a camera.

“Hey!” I said in protest.

Before I could ask why he’d taken the picture, he said, “You think that’s not bad? Hermione, you look like a peacock!” He began sniggering as he motioned for me to turn around in the dress.

“Well, I think the colors complement each other well,” I said.

“Come on, Hermione, really? Would you ever wear that dress again?” He gave me a knowing look.

My intention was to dig my heels in and insist that I’d already worn it multiple times. But one look into his eyes and I couldn’t lie, so I faltered. “I—I’d wear it if it were shorter. It might be cute for a cocktail party, or maybe a club night,” I said as I shrugged.

“See? You know I’m right,” he teased. At least, I thought he was teasing.

“Well, this is definitely not the worst one,” I told him. 

If he wanted a show, I’d give him a show! I turned back toward the closet and grabbed the most hideous dress I could remember, and marched right back to my room to change. “You’d better prepare yourself for this one!” I called.

“I can hardly wait!” he responded.

The dress I chose was a two tone mermaid style that opened up to the knees in the front. The underside was the same yellow-green chiffon as the bust that connected to a halter strap. There was a ruffle of fabric down the bodice to the center of the skirt, which was a bright ocean blue, with sequins that outlined mermaid scales. When I walked out of the room, I was pretty sure Ron’s jaw hit the floor, and not in a good way.

“What did you do to piss off that bride?” was all he managed to say.

“It was a destination wedding! In the Mediterranean, on the beach.”

“Was it a themed wedding?” Ron asked seriously as he took another picture.

“No!” I laughed. “You want a themed bridesmaid dress? I have plenty! Holiday themes have been popular.”

“What? No way. You’re not serious,” Ron said, shaking his head.

“Oh, but I am,” I said as I began pulling out all the holiday themed dresses and carried them into my room.

First, I showed him the Halloween themed dress. It was a bright pumpkin orange with a black spider web overlay, followed by a kelly green dress with matching shoes for St. Patrick’s Day. “The bride was from the States and the groom from Ireland,” I explained when Ron gave me a questioning look.

There was a Christmas themed wedding I’d taken part in a couple years ago where the dresses were made of cotton with a Christmas plaid pattern. The last I had was a fourth of July themed dress that I walked out in last. The upper half was royal blue and the skirt were alternating red and white vertical stripes.

“I’m sorry, are we in the United States or England?” Ron asked as he looked around at his surroundings.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “It was a last minute cancellation of a bridesmaid for a friend’s cousin. I flew to Tennessee for the weekend and took part in the most—” I had a hard time remembering the word, but suddenly it came to me, “redneck style wedding.”

“Redneck? Do I even want to know?”

“Their words, not mine! It’s used to describe rural Americans, I think. I’m not really sure. They were a different type of people, let me tell you. If you could have seen the wedding guests!” I did my best to give him the best possible depiction of that particular wedding, but I think I only succeeded in confusing him more.

“So, which holiday wedding was your favorite?” he asked as I walked over to the kitchen to grab some glasses and a bottle of wine. Alcohol was necessary if we were going to go through that entire closet.

“Well the St. Paddy’s Day wedding was quite the good time, as you can imagine. The Halloween wedding was, too, for that matter. Christmas was hard because I didn’t get to see my family, and if I can avoid going back to the States for a wedding, I’d be perfectly fine with that.”

“Well, they’re all certainly special. Though, I’m surprised...no Valentine’s Day wedding? Of all the ones you’ve been a part of?”

He was right! I’d totally forgotten about that one. I stood up quickly from my spot on the sofa and ran to the closet. “Thanks for reminding me. This one’s a real gem.”

I walked back out minutes later in a bright fire engine red dress with a plunging neckline that revealed more than I was comfortable with. As if that wasn’t enough, there was a slit in the front of the long evening gown that came up to mid thigh. I looked briefly in the mirror to make sure everything was covered as appropriately as possible, and ran a hand through my hair before making my entrance

“Bloody hell,” Ron said. “That was for a Valentine’s Day wedding? Did the bride want you all to get laid after?”

“I think that was her original plan, yes,” I agreed as I felt my cheeks grow hot under his gaze.

I was a bit uncomfortable at the way he was looking at me, but there was a tiny part of me that felt empowered by the way his eyes widened at the sight of me in this dress. Like I was attractive and desirable. Before his eyes could linger too long, I grabbed another set of dresses and disappeared back into my room.

“I call this next set: the pink parade!” I said through the door, before making my appearance in the first frou-frou  dress.

“Holy ruffles!” he commented.

I didn’t blame his lack of words about the pinkish-coral strapless gown with a beaded bodice. The overly ruffled tulle skirt mimicked that of the mermaid dress with the raised skirt in the front, sans the two tone colors. The second pink dress was two tone, with zebra stripes on the bust and the underside of the skirt. 

“Well, that one did have potential. The animal print really ruins it,” Ron said with a laugh.

I wasn’t sure if it was the wine or just my ability to somehow let loose around him, but I found myself making claw motions with my hands and pretending to ‘rawr’ in a sexy way. Yeah, I needed to stop that before I did something later that I might regret. The next pink dress looked like it was straight out of a mashup between the eighties and the movie, ‘Cinderella.’ it was long sleeved with extra poofy shoulders, and the ugliest bodice style I’d ever seen. Oversized bows donned the skirt, which looked like it needed layers upon layers of crinoline to fill it out.

“Where’s the hoop?” Ron asked when I came out in it.

“Of all there is to comment on this dress as is, and you ask me where the hoop is?” I responded curiously.

“Do you really want my other opinions on this one?”

“Nope,” I said, turning around before he could change his mind.

The last pink dress was a blush one shoulder style that would have been rather becoming if it weren’t for the skirt that looked like giant rose petals.

“You look like a cupcake,” Ron said, which made me burst out laughing.

“I thought the same thing, actually. Next up, more two tone dresses.”

“There’s more than two?” Ron asked incredulously.

I showed him the ballroom style hot pink satin outer shell with endless layers of neon yellow crinoline underneath, the orange and camouflage hunting combo with the cowboy boots, and two dual color chiffon dresses. One was a light and dark purple combo with zig zag stripes over the bodice, and the other was coral and seafoam green with a more subtle pattern. The latter needed the subtlety considering the colors clashed enough on their own.

My closet was still a third of the way full after all those dresses, but we both seemed to be having a good time, so I kept the fashion show going. There was the white lace dress, where all the bridesmaids wore white, and the bride wore color, the neon yellow-green rocker dress with the see-through skirt and fur scarf, and the periwinkle blue regency style dress complete with accessories.

“Gloves, purse, and umbrella?” Ron asked with a disbelieving look on his face.

“Accessories are important for any outfit,” I said in the most royal voice that I could muster, which sent us both into hysterics.

“What about that black ruffly one?” he asked me.

“Oh, no…” I said, pulling it off the rod and holding it up. “This one was way too short. I’m not trying it on again.”

“Ah, we haven’t reached that level of closeness yet?” Ron teased.

“Nor will we ever,” I said with a triumphant smile.

I held up the dress for Luna’s wedding that I wore last weekend, as well as the ones he saw me in for Katie and Parvati’s weddings two weekends ago. Then there were only a few remaining after that. 

The long lime green gown with the jeweled empire waist, the Renaissance fair inspired brown and gold dress, and a forest green velour maxi dress. The two remaining ones had to do with rainbow themes. There was the indigo satin floor length gown with flowered straps. And how could I forget the final dress, that was an actual rainbow colored bridesmaid gown. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I love color as much as the next person, but I think this crossed the line,” I said as Ron was shielding his eyes from me. Pretty sure you’re brighter than the sun. And that’s saying something after the lime green dress and that neon fur one.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about being blinded anymore as that’s the last one,” I said, flopping down on the couch next to him.

“Twenty-seven dresses,” he said in disbelief. “Why would you put yourself through that torture?”

“It’s not torture for me. I genuinely enjoy helping people, and making their day special. And believe what you may, but no matter how awful some of those dresses are, I’ve made a lot of great memories in them. Plus, I’ve met a lot of amazing people,” I added before I could stop myself.

He looked at me curiously. “What do you mean? The other people in the bridal party?”

“Er, yes,” I said quickly.

“Hermione, why does it sound like that’s not true?” He really was ever the journalist, always working to uncover the truth.

And it looks like I wasn’t convincing enough.

“Because it’s not,” I admitted. “I run a side business called Wilkins Weddings. I’m essentially a bridesmaid for hire, doubling as a wedding planner for any bride that requires one or both services. That’s the real reason I’ve been in so many weddings.”

I had no idea what possessed me to say it. Wilkins Weddings was so personal to me, and I never let anyone in on the secret. Lavender only knew because I needed her sometimes for the business. My dad didn’t even know, and he was the second closest person to me. I even had the opportunity last night to tell Jenny and I still hadn’t. Yet here I was, pouring my soul out to this man who I barely knew.

“Wow. That explains a lot. So, you take all the stress off the bride all while ensuring their day is perfect? Are you trying to kill yourself before you’re 35?”

Of course he was taking the mickey out of me. I shouldn’t have said anything. “I don’t even know why I told you that. No one knows, and yet somehow I told you, of all people, and of course you’re mocking me about it!”

“Look, Hermione, I just think there’s more to life than helping other people get married and giving them their perfect day. You’ve been in all those weddings, had the chance to meet countless people, and you’re still single? Are you even trying to find your own happiness?”

I couldn’t believe him! How could he say any of that to me! He didn’t know me at all, and that just proved it. “Of course I want to find someone to love and marry and spend the rest of my life with! They’re out there, I know it. They just haven’t noticed me yet.” I grabbed both the empty wine glasses on the coffee table and brought them to the kitchen.

“It’s getting late. You should probably go,” I said.

“Right. Well, thanks for tonight. It’s been fun. I’m sure I’ll see you soon. What with the wedding and all,” Ron said as he grabbed his bag and walked to the door.

“Yeah. I can’t wait,” I said sarcastically.

He flashed me that lopsided grin of his as he let himself out. I waited a moment before I locked the door behind him. It was all fun and games until I remembered the massive mess of dresses I now had to clean up.

As I carried groups of dresses back to the closet and hung them up, I couldn’t help but wonder when I’d finally get to add a wedding dress to the mix. Figuratively of course, since I’d be sure to have my dress preserved. I’ve been ready and waiting for my own happily ever after my whole life, and I was becoming frustrated. I hoped that someday soon I wouldn’t have to spend every night alone.

[linggluu]

TF is such a shitty company lol. The statement from the other day basically is like "It's not our fault MJQ failed Gaokao, however this does not reflect on our other artists and trainees. We have three people who made it into 北电/伯克利/中戏。In TNT , ZZY made the excellent grade of 474, passing the benchmark requirement for 4 year universities. "Another group mate" also made it into 北电。 From here on, we will make sure MJQ and the others focus on their education."

Smh they didn't even give DCX a name. 狗公司记得你有三个爹啦? Pulling Tfboys who got into universities themselves and one of which who just graduated??

First off, you should have always been making sure they were keeping up with their studies.

Secondly, this proves that WJK/YYQX/QX got into those schools based on their grades alone and not 公司安排的。It disproves claims that the company pulls strings to get into those prestigious schools. The company can only give recommendations like "You should go to schools overseas" and "take a gap year to work" (said to WY/WJK) aka "your scores won't be high enough to pass Gaokao. Both WJK and YYQX were pretty much at work until the month before gaokao. They had to pack in 3 years of knowledge into less than 30 days. They still got into 北电 and 中戏 with stellar grades (for people that work 20 hours a day with zero free time). Their schedules were jammed with packed and there were tons of people saying WJK/YYQX were both at school doing 1 on 1 tutoring and studying their textbooks on flights. WY already had wanted to go to Berklee in 2017 - because he really wanted to (his major is Professional Music, he probably thought music schools in China weren't worth it) and partly probably because he knew he couldn't make the Gaokao grades. He still took the TOEFL, passed interviews and had a great portfolio though. He was totally prepared to be out of the limelight for 4 years, which takes a lot of balls.

Even with TNT, the 物料 we see is the kids studying. With the exception of LYW with 1 on 1 tutoring because he's still in middle school(just graduated lol) , the other 6 have a class with 1 teacher. Which I think is really stupid because the kids are all in different grades. TNT and TFBOYS were both doing homework and studying between schedules.

TF is an entertainment company, not a charity. They make the kids work, hire private tutors but their personal grades are up to them. MJQ failing was a huge wakeup call; Tfboys got into their high schools and universities based on their grades even though they barely have time to sleep. If they failed to get into university it's not your fault, but if they did get in, they didn't get your help either. University is not necessary for their futures but a young 流量 celebrity without a degree is still looked down upon and could affect their 红色资源 and definitely their future offers.

@ TNT, better put away the phones, stop playing on 抖音 and crack open the textbooks to study your butts off. Next year, 马嘉祺 (failed)敖子逸(failed/skipped their round of exams)姚景元 (failed) better be up for Gaokao again. 宋亚轩，贺峻霖 and 严浩翔 are gonna be there too so take less jobs, pay ZZY to tutor you and 往死里读！

Being idol is their job but they are also students. A student needs to do their job, study. If they can sing, dance, be on tv and make the money most people can't even make in a life time, they need to have the goods to back them up. Even though they won't need the degree, 一个流量爱豆在如今的ylq还是需要一个科班弟子才能被主流圈认证!

As for MJQ, he locked himself up for three months. I don't believe he didn't work hard but I believe he didn't prepare as much as he could have. All three Tfboys got into college (and they were muchhhh busier). So did Ding Chengxin and Zhang Zhenyuan who are literally in the same band, same work conditions and same teachers. He could have delayed his Gaokao for a year; I'm sure he knew what kinds of grades he was gonna get based on his own knowledge. But the fact that he took the 艺考 and passed says to me he wants to go to college so he took a gamble and failed.

It does sounds like he intends to 复读 lol. 他那么要强,那么在意面子, I don't believe for a second that a person who gets a dance move wrong and goes to slap himself in the bathroom would give up. This is not a failure, it's a lesson. 总之，小马加油!

[sinner-as-saint]

Call An Avenger

requested! I couldn’t tell if anon wanted fluff or smut so I wrote a bit of both. 

Run-through: Y/N is a new member of the Avengers cast. And while doing a fun, playful interview promoting the new movie, things get saucy.

Themes: language, fluff, slight smut

   “Alright Y/n, you’ve been set with Sebastian and Chris for the next one, starting in 10 minutes. They need to set up your mike so, hurry up a little bit would you, darling?” Linda said, typing furiously on the screen of her phone.

Linda was your assistant, and also one of your best friends.

You were currently the most talked about person in Hollywood. You were a successful singer, who also acted in some hit movies. And soon, another one would be added to your list because you were the newest addition to the Marvel family, quite a significant one actually.

Your recent movie was an Avengers one, and acting alongside some of the biggest actors in the industry, caused a lot of pressure but you were somewhat handling it like a pro.

You and the Avengers cast were travelling around the world, attending conventions, meet and greets, doing interviews and talk shows – promoting the movie. And so far you were having fun, and you actually grew close to quite a lot of them.

The closest friends you had so far were Scarlett, RDJ himself, Tom and Chadwick. However, you couldn’t help but feel a sort of tension whenever you were around Sebastian or Chris Evans. Of course, you were fan of them way before you guys did a movie together but there was definitely something wonderful in the air whenever one of them was around.

One of the traits of your character in the movie is that, she can be quite flirty and seductive to get to her enemies or to lure them into her traps, so you had to be physically close to both the actors during shooting and you couldn’t help but feel certain sparks in certain places whenever one of them touched you, or looked you in the eyes.

The feeling was weird to you, you had never been one to imagine yourself with more than one partner. Yet here you were, dreaming and crushing on two very good looking guys who were good friends to each other and to you, and who were way out of your league.

“Y/N! Seriously honey, hurry up!” Linda yelled, pushing you into in front of the camera, into a chair. Right in between probably two of the most gorgeous beings you had ever seen.

“Hello guys!” you chirped, setting down so one of the people working could set up you mike at the back of your dress.

“Hey y/n!” Sebastian said, giving you a slight wave, a gorgeous smile and a mini heart attack.

“Oh hey there y/n!” Chris said, giving you a warm smile, and another mini heart attack.

As you sat down, you realized that the chairs were placed really close to each other, to a point where when you sat down, your arms were each touching a muscular bicep of each men.

And there is was again, the sparks, the wonderful feeling in the air along with their addicting cologne mixed together.

 A couple of minutes later of you guys just catching up and having a casual conversation, your interviewer walked in, smiling at all of you.

You thought he was rather cute, a little bit nervous but cute nonetheless.

“Hi guys! My name’s Joe. Okay, I know we don’t have much time because of your crazy busy schedule, but I have just a few questions and a fun game for you guys. So, you ready?” he asked, a very charming smile on his face.

“Yeah! Let’s go!” said Chris, sipping his coffee.

“Sure, bud!” Sebastian said, adjusting himself in his seat.

“Yeah, let’s do it!” you cheered.

“Okay, first question goes to the lovely Y/N who is making my heart race by how gorgeous she looks right now, right so, being so young and a new member of the Marvel family, how excited were you when you found out that RDJ himself wanted you to play this character?” Joe asked.

You smiled at him before answering.

“I mean, being a hardcore Marvel fan for so long now, I have to say I thought I was losing my mind when RDJ’s people called my team to talk about it. I was absolutely thrilled and nervous at the same time. I mean, I had just wrapped up a world tour and instead of taking a break and working on new music, I had to shoot for a least five months which was no joke, but I got to meet the people I had idolized for so long now, plus, I made some great friends so, yeah I wouldn’t change it for the world,” you smiled, trying your best at answering carefully.

“Well, I’m sure all the fangirls and fanboys will absolutely love you in this! Now, Chris, it is said that you, Sebastian and Y/N are quite the pranksters on set. What would you say was your best prank till now, as a trio?” Joe asked, and while Chris answered the question, you and Sebastian just looked at each other and absolutely died laughing as you remembered clearly which one it was.

“Oh my god! So, once Ruffalo mentioned that he has this weird phobia of someone chasing him with poo on a stick, right? And we all thought it was all bluff so, we decided to test it out…” he trailed off laughing out loud, slapping his left boob. Classic Chris.

“And he legitimately freaked out! We all thought he was acting but turns out, Ruffalo really does have a phobia of people chasing him with shit on a stick!” Sebastian told the remaining story, laughing as well while Chris recovered from his laughter fit.

“Plus, it wasn’t poo at all, it was, I believe something we stole from one of the makeup trailers, oh Mark,” you added, shaking your head at the memory.

 Joe asked a couple of more questions before moving on to the game he had planned.

 “Alright, so this is an easy, fun game called “Call an Avenger”, and I’m gonna give you guys certain everyday life scenarios and you have to tell me which Avenger you’ll call to help you out in that situation, okay?” Joe explained, and the three of you nodded.

“Right, you’re stuck on a deserted island,” he asked.

“Iron Man,” the lot of you answered, at the same time and then looked at each other and smiled.

“That’s true, Tony Stark would get you the hell out of there, safe and sound. He might even adopt you later to be honest,” you added and the two men agreed.

“Okay, what if you’re trapped in an elevator,” Joe said.

“Oh,” you all said and went into deep thought.

“I mean, I’ll go with Iron Man again, he’ll definitely know what to do,” Chris said, sipping his coffee again.

“Uh, think I’ll go with Ant Man, I mean, he could shrink down and do his thing, right? I’ll say Ant Man,” Sebastian replied.

“Oh I’ll go with Winter Soldier, Bucky it is for me. I mean, c’mon, that metal arm and those muscles could get me out of there rather quickly,” you answered and Sebastian looked at you with a shine in his eyes and a big smile on his face. And if you didn’t have a crush on the man, you wouldn’t notice how he slowly, but certainly, inched closer to you.

“That’s fair, okay next, you need to make an ex jealous,” Joe wiggled his eyebrows, smirking.

“Y/C/N,” the two men said, simultaneously.

“Chris, I mean, Cap,” you corrected yourself quickly, then you realized that they both had chosen your character.

“Ooh, drama!” Joe added, as the three of you started playfully bickering.

 “Wait, what? Why not me?” Sebastian complained.

“Wow! I mean I can’t say that I didn’t like that, and why Seb can’t say Black Widow or something, man c’mon, why can’t I have Y/C/N all to myself?” Chris said, laughing. A warm feeling took over you when he said the last part and you tried your best not to show it.

“And I can’t say I’m not offended! What, now Bucky isn’t good enough for you babygirl?” Sebastian teased, smiling. But his smile soon faded as he slowly realized what he had just said. And you tried your best not to smile like a crazy person while he tried his best to cover up.

You noticed Joe’s head shot up as soon as Sebastian referred to you as ‘babygirl’.

“He is Seb, it’s just that, I believe Cap is more cut out for that job,” you explained, placing a hand on his knee gently and smiling up at him.

Your team would most definitely review the interview before it airs so you were sure that Linda would force them to cut that part out or else she’d have their heads.

“Okay okay, don’t argue Avengers, we still need you. Alright next, you badly need a date for an event,” Joe asked again.

“Thor,” you replied, with a smirk.

“Wow, that was quick,” Chris pointed out.

“Yeah, like you didn’t even give us a second thought,” Seb argued further.

You laughed.

“I mean, I had to go with my favorite Chris so, yeah,” you replied, sarcasm dripping from your words.

Chris dramatically placed a hand on his heart, faking that he was actually hurt by your words while Sebastian said something along the lines of ‘at least there’s no other Sebastian in the cast’.

“Ooh, shots fired, I mean you’re out here breaking hearts y/n!” Joe said, laughing along with you.

“Yeah, I thought I was your favorite Chris, what the hell?” Chris placed a hand on your shoulder and shook his head in disbelief.

“And I thought you loved me! We kiss in the trailer Y/N! What about that?” Sebastian added.

It was true. You did share a kiss, briefly, in the trailer. And your fans went crazy. There was all these ship names going around, edits and fan accounts based on people who hoped that you and him end up together. Then there were those you preferred you and Chris together after a video of you both goofing around on set got out.

 “Oh my God, Joe! What have you started?” you pleaded.

 After a few more rounds, Joe said goodbye and the three of you walked away.

 “Y/N c’mon, you need to change for the next one,” Linda yelled from across the room and you rushed into the changing room, leaving behind the two men. Or so you thought.

 The changing room was quite spacious, with full length mirrors, a set of clothes hanging on the side, a dresser table with a bunch of makeup laid in front of it.

You closed the door and wasted no time in getting out of the navy blue bodycon dress you initially wore, leaving you in just your lacy, black matching set of underwear. Leaving your dress on the floor, you walked over to the clothes that were hanging, and tried selecting one to wear for your next interview. But that was until you noticed something in the mirror. Two people standing behind you, unmoving.

Your eyes widened as you turned around, your hands trying to hide as much of your body as they could, but the two men smirked at the sight of you.

“Aww c’mon now, nothing we haven’t seen, doll. We’ve worked out together before, haven’t we?” Chris cooed, walking towards you slowly.

“What the hell? If anyone finds us here, we w-,”

“They won’t, doll. We made sure of that, now where were we?” Sebastian answered, walking towards you as well.

By then, you were blushing. Hard. And your heart was pounding inside your chest.

They moved towards you to the point where your back hit the wall and they stood right in front of you. Through the wall, you could hear Linda barking orders at other people.

“Seriously, is this because of something I said earlier, and do you always do this? Together?” you asked, surprised at your own question.

They smirked.

“No, but it’s worth a try though isn’t it? I mean, we feel the sparks too,” Chris said, leaning closer to you, “but you’ll have to be quiet, yeah, baby?” his hands reached around you and worked on unhooking your bra, his lips leaving light kisses along your jaw and his beard tickling your skin.

Meanwhile, Sebastian knelt down and managed to get you out of your underwear, his lips kissing your inner thighs as you tried your best to hold back a loud moan just by looking at him in between your legs.

“Remember babygirl, be quiet. We don’t wanna get caught now, do we?” Seb said as his mouth left deep red marks up along your inner thighs.

Well, you thought, this was a one-time thing right? So, it was totally worth the try.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: How Do You Like It? {Headcanon/One-Shot}*

Chris Evans

Warning: Cursing, Lewd Topic, Conversation NSFW, Lewd Humor

Words: 2.2k

Note: Okay, so yet again I came up with something just by looking at these two gifs/images of Chris. Yet again, I have NO IDEA what this is, where this came from or what’s wrong with me. Rock with me though. Thank you for reading.

***Not Edited/Proofread**

~~~~~~~~~~~

He’d done a lot of interviews in his career. So many they all blended together. They asked the same questions, insinuated to the same things, told the same jokes. He could go through a regular run of the mill interview with his eyes closed and half drunk and still ace it. he was going nuts with the mundaneness of it all. He wanted to shake it up but of course, he had his image to think about. He always had his image to think about, which is why his interviews had been blander than what he’d imagined potato salad with raisins would taste like.

 He was tired of boring interviews and wanted to just go off the beaten path, just once. So, when he got wind that his team got an offer from a podcast called “The Thirsty Hour” to appear his interest was piqued. It took his team no longer than a minute to decline the offer. He’s expected that. The next day he turned right around and accepted the offer and had them go through Scott to finalize the arrangement.

 When he showed up three nights later to the address, he’d been given he did so with Scott and his partner in tow. The location was a hair salon that had a basement that the owners of the salon and founders of the podcast; Shaundra and Aleesha had set up impressively well. It looked like a professional start-up radio station. 

The duo thanked him for appearing and shook his hand over ten times with bright smiles plastered across their faces. He could tell their excitement and he was also excited to be there. It was sad this was how he got his kicks, sneaking off behind his team’s back to do interviews off the beaten path.

 He was offered a drink while they went over the schedule and possible content. Business discussions turned to small talk and a whole lot of laughs and that turned to three beers before Shaundra and Aleesha began the show. He sat back and watched the dynamic duo in their element. He liked the way they fed off each other and knew he was going to have a good time.

 Shaundra: Thanks again everyone for tuning in to our little podcast. It’s hard to believe that this is our two hundredth episode. It totally doesn’t feel like it.

Aleesha You’re right. It definitely doesn’t feel like it at all. We’ve been lucky that this has taken off the way that it has especially given how this is not a morning commute type of podcast.

Shaundra: Damn right, we’re the cousin of the morning commute podcast that many are ashamed of because they wouldn’t know where to begin when it comes to the things we talk about.

Aleesha: What kinds of things are those?

Saundra: The sex kinds. Sex positions, Kama Sutra, blow jobs, backshots, ways to spice up the marriage, how to give a proper striptease.

 Chris’ eyebrows shot up as he was mid sip of his glass of brown liquor. The immediate thought in his head was this was going to get interesting.

 Aleesha: And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Shaundra: Tip of the dick print you mean.

 Chris couldn’t help it but snort loudly. He held up his finger as an apology for his outburst but neither Shaundra nor Aleesha seemed to mind. They just smiled and shook their heads as if to tell him not to worry about it.

 Aleesha: Speaking of dick print. I have no idea how we pulled this off, but we actually got confirmation that we’re doing things real BIG for our two hundredth episode. We have a special guest tonight, none other than Chris Evans.

 Fake applause sounds on a track and Chris takes up the headphones and puts them on.

 Shaundra: Welcome to the show Chris.

 Chris: Thank you for having me. I appreciate the thought.

Aleesha: This is your first time on the show. Have you listened before?

Chris: I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t. I don’t get much time to myself and it leaves little time to find new things or enjoy things on my own.

Shaundra: I understand that. We’re glad you were able to come through though. You look very low key like you intended to fly under the radar tonight in your t-shirt, hat, and jeans. Also, are those the new Nike’s?

 He smiles and begins to blush.

 Chris: I’m a bit of a sneakerhead. It’s a thing for me.

 The ladies nod and look impressed.

 Shaundra: You’re sure you’re not a black man parading around as a white man?

Chris: Sort of a like a reverse Rachel Dolezal?

 The applause track plays again but is accompanied by Shaundra and Aleesha’s “ohs” and “wows”.

 Shaundra: Shots fired.

He laughs and shrugs as he takes another snip of his drink thinking this isn’t so bad and had no idea why his team shot it down.

 Aleesha: Speaking of black men. Chris, have you ever dated a sista?

Chris: Sista?

Shaundra: Sista, she mean--.

Chris: No, I know what a sista is.

 Shaundra and Aleesha eye each other in a way that speaks volumes.

 Chris: Officially no, I haven’t.

Aleesha: What’s unofficially?

Chris: I’ve flirted with, spoken with for a few days but nothing ever came of it.

Shaundra: Would you ever date a sista, a black woman?

Chris: I would. Why not? I look at more important things than skin color.

Aleesha: Like what?

Chris: Like, connection, conversation, sense of humor, interests, stuff like that.

Shaundra: I noticed you kept looks off that list. Do you not look at a woman’s looks?

Chris: The politically correct answer would be; looks don’t matter but in today’s world looks are everything.

Shaundra: Are looks everything to Chris Evans?

Chris: Nah. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Aleesha: So, do you have a type?

Chris: Nope.

 Shaundra and Aleesha laugh together.

 Shaundra: What catches your eye then? Nice eyes, plump lips, big boobs, small waist, wide hips, big ass? What makes Chris Evans look like the man in those memes who’s walking with his girlfriend but is looking back at a new, fresher piece of ass?

 He laughs again and thinks about the question for a few moments. He takes another swig of the liquor and leans closer to the table.

 Chris: Uh, I don’t know.

 He was still feeling censored from his many, many years of doing just that.

 Aleesha: Come on. Are you an ass man or a boobs man?

Chris: God, this is going to be everywhere tomorrow. The headline is going to say Chris Evans reveals he’s an ass man.

 The ladies laugh again and clap.

 Shaundra: Ah, so you’re an ass man.

Aleesha: Then you have to find yourself a sista. We’ve got great asses. Do you like them firm with no jiggle or round, plump with some jiggle?

Chris: Definitely some jiggle, something I can hold on to when I’m back there.

 Shaundra’s and Aleesha’s drop open. He’d just disclosed that he likes doggy style.

 Aleesha: So, Chris Evans is an ass man who likes backshots, which is the better term for doggy style? Did I just hear right?

 His smile was wide, but he didn’t confirm or deny what she said. That action was a clear confirmation to them though.

 Shaundra: Well alright then. I would have never guessed.

Aleesha: I would have. You give off this air of—confidence, it’s a confidence similar to what black men give off. I can’t explain it but there is something about you that is intriguing. I would have guessed.

 He smiles and tips his head in a curt nod.

 Shaundra: The last guest we had on the show, we asked about how he likes his head. He gave an idea of how he preferred it.

Aleesha: He gave up a play by play walkthrough.

Chris: Sounds informative. You do know that what works for one man doesn’t necessarily work for all right.

Shaundra: So, I’ve learned. Y’all are pickier than women.

Chris: Lies. What works for one woman definitely doesn’t work for all. If that’s the case I could just suck on a clit and boom off to space.

 Again, Shaundra and Aleesha’s jaws dropped. He looked across to his brother who looked equally as shocked before he shook his head. It was at that time Chris realized he’d probably had enough to drink.

 Aleesha: So that doesn’t work for every woman you’ve been with?

 He laughs and shakes his head.

 Shaundra: Oh, come on, closed mouths don’t get fed.

Chris: Loose lips sink ships or careers.

Aleesha: The ideals of a good career change over time. Live a little.

 He laughed again but decided to just live a little and deal with it later.

 Shaundra: So. Chris Evans eats the box?

Chris: How can any man be okay with not knowing how to please their woman or not wanting to do it to perfection. I am not above any of it. All of my fingering is accurate.

 Laughter rang out in the small room.

 Aleesha: He eats the box and is an accurate fingerer ladies.

Shaundra: What makes Chris Evans go wild in the bedroom?

Chris: So, a cheat sheet?

Aleesha: Why not. Ninety percent of the world might not ever get to use it so, yeah.

Chris: Okay. Someone who’s adventurous, not just into the basic things like a kiss here, lay on your back and thanks see you next time. I’m definitely a guy who enjoys the tease, make it last. Anticipation can be an intoxicating thing.

Aleesha: So, you’re into foreplay.

Chris: Absolutely.

Shaundra: What about when it comes to the head?

Aleesha: I have an idea. Here.

 Aleesha places a standing mic in front of him and smiles.

 Aleesha: Show us.

Chris: Show you?

Aleesha: Yeah. We always record our podcasts with video, and it goes to our YouTube for those who like a visual with their audio. We told you this. I figured the ladies at home would love to see.

 He looks to his brother and his partner and they’re already laughing no doubt thinking this is what he deserves for throwing censors to the side.

 Chris: What the hell.

 He leans closer to the mic and clears his throat and acts as if he’s about to showcase some superior athletic skills.

 Chris: All right so maybe start with some kisses along the—

Aleesha: Shaft?

Chris: Right, that. Don’t be afraid of it, get in there.

 He allows the ball of the mic to jamb into his cheek before he smears his nose across it taking a deep inhale.

 Chris: Just get in there. Tease it on your lips maybe add some sneak licks and flicks of the tongue before you come up and just put your mouth on it. a lot of women forget the head is super sensitive use that shit. Make him squeal and scrunch his toes.

Again, everyone laughed, and he tried to keep a straight face.

 Chris: If you can’t take it all take what you can, don’t just have your tongue sit there either figure out what to do with it. experiment. Have fun. Don’t forget to use your hands too.

 He grasps the mic with both hands and moves them in opposite directions sort of like a wrench.

 Chris: Make them do the opposite of whatever your mouth is doing. Don’t be afraid to get messy. Sloppy toppy is not a bad thing. Let the spit drip, hell gag a little. Be enthusiastic about that shit. A man can tell an unenthusiastic dick sucker. It’s obvious if you don’t want to slob on the knob. Don’t be the unenthusiastic dick sucker.

 They all couldn’t hold the laughter, including him. As he tried to get back into character, he took another sip of his drink and echoed the same thing he did from the beginning rubbing his face across the mic.

 Chris: Just have fun with it.

Aleesha: And for the finish, are you a facial kind of man or would you prefer to give mouthfuls?

 His smile was wide as he rubbed the back of his neck.

 Chris: Why choose? Depends what the mood of the night is. It has to go somewhere though.

 With that everyone uproariously laughed.

 Shaundra: Wow. Wow. That is all I can say.

 Aleesha and Shaundra both applauded his performance. He bowed his head to them and toward the camera in the corner.

 Aleesha: I think that is all we can take tonight on The Thirsty Hour.

Shaundra: I’d say thirst quenched Aleesha?

Aleesha: Hell no, we’re parched.

Shaundra: Thank you, Chris Evans, for coming by and kicking it with us. Any sistas that wanna step to Chris and represent and do it for the culture and show him what he’s been missing, please. You now have a roadmap to his pleasure.

 The ladies close the podcast and cut the video feed shortly after. They thank him again before he leaves and gets back into the car. On the drive, Scott teases him about him possibly going too far and warning him to be prepared for the fallout tomorrow. Chris knows he’s right but can’t seem to care. Tomorrow was another day and it wasn’t there yet.

[mariahschoices]

Unloveable

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Reader/OC

Word Count: 2726 

Theme: Angst (for now)

Part 2 of this story:

https://mariahschoices.tumblr.com/post/190002611367/beloved

Cold. Desperate. Alone. Numb. The quiet click-clack sounds of the clock on the wall slowed as you activated your quick, stretching the time between clicks from seconds, to minutes, to hours. It couldn’t be real. If you could slow down time, you wouldn’t have to accept your new reality. You wouldn’t have to accept what had happened. You tipped back the bottle in your hand, draining the last of its contents as you sat on the cold hardwood floor of your kitchen, blacking out from the truth. He was gone. 

Ten years ago. UA High School.

Bakugo half listened as he stared out the window of the classroom. Aizawa was droning on about some bullshit he’d already studied months ago. Bakugo took it upon himself to learn as much as he could so that he stayed ahead of his classmates. He was determined to become the number one hero. The explosive quirk that he possessed allowed him to essentially fly, blow shit up, and put any villain that got in his way in their place. It wasn’t enough to possess a powerful quirk, however. He also trained for countless hours each day, making sure that he was in peak physical condition, regardless of his quirk. There were quirk erasing drugs being developed after all, and he had to be prepared for any kind of fight. He also studied more than anyone realized, making sure that his grades stayed at the top of his class, even though to his peers, it seemed like he couldn’t care less about the “wisdom” his teachers sought to bless him with.

Bakugo’s thoughts drifted to the events of yesterday’s training session. He had been paired with a female student from class 1B. He didn’t even know your name, but he knew of you due to the remarkable quirk that you possessed. You had the ability to slow down or speed up time for yourself, as well as anyone you happened to be touching at the time. Your amazing abilities allowed you to slow down your perception of reality and the events occurring around you, allowing you to easily anticipate and dodge physical attacks and predict the movements of villains, or in this case, Bakugo. It was really quite enchanting to watch you fight. To the onlookers in the class, your movements were nearly imperceptible, as you were able to stay one step ahead of your opponent. You even got a few hits in on Bakugo before he came to his senses and blew you away, landing flat on your ass at the edge of the training grounds. 

Bakugo’s cheeks flushed pink as he thought about the way you’d walked away from the match with grace, even with an injury, still proud of your progress and your ability to land more than one hit on the highly ranked student from class 1A. 

Bakugo’s blush transformed and evolved into red as anger and embarrassment overtook his feelings. How could he allow some extra to get a hit in on him, much less more than one? 

The bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Bakugo found his usual seat beside of Kirishima, who paused his conversation only momentarily to acknowledge Bakugo before continuing on about how “manly” yesterday’s match had been. 

Bakugo’s eyes roamed the lunchroom, deciding to look for you against his own accord. He didn’t want to become distracted from his goals over a few hits some random extra from 1B had gotten in on him. His eyes found yours from across the room, pulling your attention from your meal like a magnetic force. Bakugo left his seat, deciding to give you a piece of his mind. 

“Hi, Bak-” he stopped you before you could even finish greeting him, noting as his face took on a sneer, his eyes squinted in your direction as he looked at you with what could only be described as disgust.

“Listen, you’re nothing but a shitty extra. You will never touch me again. Your quirk is shitty and you should just give up trying to be a hero. I wish you would just speed up time so we could leave this school and I could beat your ass and never have to see your ugly face again! I will become the number one hero!” 

He didn’t know why he was so compelled to blow up on you, physically and metaphorically. He’d never fought someone like you before, and he didn’t like the way it made him feel. He’d always somewhat admired your quirk, but he couldn’t allow anyone to get in his way of becoming the top hero on the food chain.

Tears started to well in your eyes at his cruel display. You knew Bakugo was pretty notorious around UA for being an ass, but you figured he would at least respect you due to your powerful quirk. You swore you thought that you’d even seen a glimmer of admiration in his eye yesterday, before he’d come to his senses and blown you up of course. You couldn’t refrain from unleashing the word vomit that climbed up your throat like bile in response to Bakugo’s outburst.

“Fuck you, Bakugo. I will be a hero. it doesn’t matter how strong you are, because no one will ever love an asshole like you, no matter how many people you save. You’re an emotionless, unloveable dick!”

Bakugo’s hands crackled in anger. He wanted to blast your fucking face off. Barely containing his fury, he adjusted the blast to direct just in front of you, blowing up the lunch table and sending the remainder of your food flying in all directions. He quickly left the lunch room, which was still filled with students that had been stunned into silence. He quickly darted out of the room, turning the corner before anyone could see the glistening of tears that threatened to spill out from his eyes. He would show everyone how great of a hero he could be.

Ten years and six months forward. Present day.

Bakugo unlocked his apartment door with heavy-lidded eyes, acting as a barely functioning zombie, only able to perform routine tasks that didn’t require much thought or effort. Another exhausting day of hero work. He shoved his shoes off by the door, shuffling to his bedroom to take off the rest of his hero costume. The day had started with another irritating interview. He’d had to share the stage with fucking Deku, as the pair currently designated the top of the hero list. No one could deny that Bakugo was stronger, smarter, and obviously better looking than Deku, but he simply couldn’t beat the nerd in the eyes of public opinion. Though he had softened somewhat over the years, Bakugo still wasn’t a kiss ass, politically correct, family friendly hero. He was there to do a job and that job was to kick villain ass. All the interviewer could be bothered with was questions about his personal life, not about how many people he had saved or how important his work was. 

After the interview, he'd had to resume his normal patrols and hero work, saving over 30 civilians in a shopping center attack. But, of course Deku had been nearby due the recently conducted interview, having shown up at the last minute to smile for the cameras and answer questions for the journalists, essentially getting credit for the win by doting on his adoring public. 

Bakugo just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep through the next day. He was finally getting a day off from work for the first time in nearly a month. He’d been invited out for drinks by Kirishima, the only person he’d kept in touch with from UA, and the closest person to what he could call a friend. 

He took a quick shower and got redressed, telling himself that he’d just have one drink and then be able to go home and go to sleep. Shitty Hair had a wife and kids now after all, and he couldn’t be out too late without catching a shit fit from his woman. Bakugo had to take Kirishima up on his offers to hang out whenever they were offered, due to them both having busy schedules in addition to his duty to make time for family life.

Bakugo didn’t have his own family. Kirishima was the closest and only thing he had in the way of friendships, and he was extremely single. Sure, he was a man with needs and he’d had his fair share of one night stands with Ground Zero groupies who’d wanted to have angry sex for one night only that they could tell all of their friends about. But Bakugo had never really had a relationship, unless you counted the three-week-long distraction he’d had with his last assistant, before she was reassigned to another hero. 

Bakugo scrolled through his socials, waiting on Kirishima to get back from the bar with their drinks. A notification popped up, alerting him that a DM had been sent, probably from another wannabe hero fucker. Opening up his inbox, the round profile picture accompanying the new message caught his attention. 

His thoughts went back to that day in the lunch room. The words that were spoken there had haunted him for years, becoming louder and louder in his mind’s eye as the burnout and exhaustion from hero work started to take over his daily life. The name accompanying the side of the photo confirmed his suspicions. It was you, sending him a message when he hadn’t seen you in over ten years. He couldn’t help his curiosity as he clicked to read what you had to say.

“Hi, Bakugo. Or should I say Ground Zero now? Anyway, you may not remember me, but I was hoping I could meet up with you. I have something I’d like to discuss with you, and I think it would be best if we talked in person.”

You had just finished reading the message whenever Kirishima returned to the booth with your drinks. Upon seeing your slightly dazed expression, his eyes connected with the image of the classmate you two had shared many years ago. 

“What’s up, man? Why is she messaging you?” 

Kirishima was the only person who really knew how your words had effected him all of those years ago, slowly eating away at him as he worked his way up in the hero world, while his personal life simultaneously suffered. Maybe there had been some validity to your statements all of those years ago. After all, Bakugo was going home to an empty apartment, while the majority of your peers were living fulfilling lives and had families of their own. 

“I don’t know, Shitty Hair,” Bakugo spat out, his first response in most social interactions being frustration. “She wants to meet up with me in person to talk about something.”

“Well, you’re off tomorrow. Message her back. it’s not like you have anything better to do,” Kirishima admonished, encouraging you to seek some social interaction outside of himself and your work. 

Curiosity outweighing his better judgement, Bakugo began to type out a response to the girl whose words he’d never been able to quite get out of his head.

“Hey, there’s a coffee shop near my apartment....”

__________________________________________

The next day, you sat across Bakugo at the cafe, clinging to your coffee cup like  a lifeline. He’d insisted on paying for your drinks, even though you had been the one to invite him out. The action had surprised you, and you continued to mull over this thought as a distraction whenever he interrupted your internal monologue. 

“Well, I’m here. What was so important that you wanted to meet up? You know I’m busy being the top hero around here. Don’t you know that my time is important?” Bakugo couldn’t let you know that he’d actually had the day off, and that you’d probably saved him from another day of dreaded self-reflection. 

You decided to let it slide that Deku was actually the top hero, focusing on what was important, and the reason that you had decided to message Bakugo in the first place.

“I, so, you know we went to school together...” you started awkwardly, not really knowing how to approach the topic at hand with someone so brash as Bakugo.

“Tch, no shit. Tell me something that I don’t already know,” he interrupted. 

Deciding to try and be as direct as possible, you started again. 

“Bakugo, I contacted you because I need to apologize, as part of my program. It is one of the twelve steps to make amends with anyone we feel we have harmed.”

Your words instantly quieted Bakugo; meanwhile, his inner thoughts were taking a wild ride. Program? Apology? Surely you couldn’t be talking about that day. He had been such an ass in school, to you and to nearly everyone else, and he couldn’t really blame you for what you’d said that day. After all, you had been right. He didn’t have anyone is his life that really loved him.

“About six months ago, my husband passed away,” you swallowed, struggling to continue, “he passed away during the League of Villains attack at the college. He sacrificed himself to get that room of students evacuated In time...”

Bakugo was familiar with the incident. He had been called in as backup, but it was too late to save your husband. He was a decent enough guy as far as Bakugo knew. A minor league hero that he was familiar with. Truthfully, at the time, he had admired him for his sacrifice, almost wishing that it had been him instead. After all, he knew that the hero had a wife at home who would be left a widow, even though he hadn’t known it was you, and.... 

He stopped his train of thought before his expression could give anything away. After all, how could he sit there feeling sorry for himself whenever he was sitting across from the very woman who had been left behind.

“Anyway, when he passed away. I went into a very deep depression that was nearly impossible for me to get out of. I used my quirk to slow down the passing of time. I couldn’t face the thought of his funeral, so I just drank and drank until I couldn’t feel anymore...”

Bakugo watched as the first tear spilled over your red-rimmed eyes, giving away that this wasn’t your first bout of tears today. He resisted the urge to reach out and wipe the tear from your cheek. 

“Anyway, I stretched time to the point where a matter of days felt more like months for me, and I finally realized I needed help whenever Uraraka came over and took me to the hospital. They had to pump my stomach and I entered a rehab facility... now as part of the program I need to make amends with you Bakugo. It may not have even affected you at all, I know you’re a really strong person and nothing gets to you, but that day in the lunch room, when I told you that you were unloveable...” you paused, choking on air as the tears that spilled out threatened to overwhelm you, “I am truly sorry. I know what it feels like to have love gone from your life, and I truly wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

Bakugo didn’t know what to say or do. How could you sit here and apologize after what you had been through? He didn’t deserve your tears, and he felt an undercurrent of emotions that he hadn’t felt in a very long time towards anyone. Sympathy and regret.

“You don’t need to apologize, but thank you.” 

Bakugo’s words dried up your tears almost instantly, and you couldn’t help the look of surprise that crossed your features.

“You were right, actually. About what you said.”

Clearly he wasn’t remembering the day in question the same way that you were. Bakugo was a top hero. Obviously he was loved. He had thousands of fans. He had gotten everything he’d ever wanted and worked towards. 

“I’m sorry, Bakugo. Let me explain. When I said you were...”

“An unloveable dick?” he interrupted.

“An unloveable dick - yes, wait... so you do remember?” you yelped out with surprise. 

“I do. And you were right.”

[withabackpackandcamera]

March 30th, 2021

Day 7: A Last Day of Leisure By The Pool and Beach

Sadly, today was our last day in Maui and we were determined to make the most of the limited time we had left before our red-eye flight back to Los Angeles. Because Cynthia had to get up for an early morning start for her interview, I did the same and decided to get out of bed at sunrise to maximize my morning. 

While Cynthia was interviewing, I went downstairs to the beach to see how things looked at sunrise. As I headed down and looked around, I realized that sunrise was definitely not as exciting as sunset on the westside of Maui. Something else I noticed was that the sidewalks behind the hotel, the beaches, and the pool area at the resort were, surprisingly, already starting to get busy even though it wasn’t yet 7:00am. I briefly strolled along Kaanapali Beach and took in the view of the beach before it got too crowded and too busy. What beautiful morning weather to enjoy on our last day! 

Once I was done with the beach, I walked back to the resort to see the grounds in the daylight. I roamed around the pool grounds and took a look at some of the five pools. I checked out the flamingos, parrots, and coy fish in the ponds near the hotel lobby before rounding back to scout out an area that we could claim next to the pool for the morning. Luckily, though the pool area was starting to get busy and some people had scoped out their spots, there were still plenty of pool chairs left for us to pick from. So, while waiting for Cynthia to finish up and come down, I chose two pool chairs positioned in the sun knowing that it might get too cool if it gets too shady next to the pool. 

Before long, Cynthia came down to join me by the pool. After securing our pool towels for the day, we chilled in the sun next to the pool before I decided to take a dip in the biggest pool in the area: the family pool. I jumped in and swam in the cool water for 45 minutes or so. Because it was still early in the morning, the big kid slide in the middle of the property was not yet open for use, so I just swam around in the pool (because I didn’t have any pool equipment to mess around with) until it was time for brunch. It was really nice to finally jump in a pool after a couple of failed attempts over the last few days. 

After grabbing some complimentary tote bags from the Westin on our way up to get ready for breakfast, we cleaned up before finally heading over to Down The Hatch again, this time for a much-anticipated breakfast. Since the restaurant stops serving breakfast pretty early and lines are a known thing at Down The Hatch, we made sure we got there with plenty of time so as to not miss out on their yummy breakfast menu. And luckily, the line wasn’t too bad by the time we arrived. For breakfast, we had their Spinach Avocado Benny and Southern Style Chicken Benny, each served with deliciously crispy home fries, and an order of Banana Bread Mini French Toast with Lilikoi Cream Cheese. Oh my goodness. This breakfast was OH SO GOOD! 

We took our time enjoying our very delicious breakfast before turning around and heading to the Royal Lahaina for our very-well-deserved massage sessions we had been looking forward to. When we first booked this trip, we knew we wanted to splurge on some nice spa massages to reward us for the last few difficult months of work and job hunting. Ultimately, after looking around at options and prices, Cynthia decided that going with the massages at the Royal Lahaina would be most economical. Because Cynthia’s session was scheduled before mine (because we couldn’t book a couples massage), I dropped her off so that I could head to the Westin to check out of our room. After I checked out, I drove back over to the Royal Lahaina and checked in for my lomi lomi massage and was offered a free hot stone massage with it! Nice! My hour-long lomi lomi was amazingly calm and relaxing, and I think that at some point, I may have fallen asleep as a result of the much-needed relaxation. But on the other hand, because it was so relaxing, I didn’t get any of the knots and strains in my shoulders and right calf muscle massaged out and still had them after the session. If only I could have ordered exactly what I wanted done… Oh well. It was still super enjoyable!

Once the massage session was done, I regrettably left the spa room and met with Cynthia outside. Because she had an informational call scheduled around this time, I left Cynthia to her call and walked over to Kahekili Beach to kill some time while waiting for her to finish. With the sun out in full force, I enjoyed a hot and pleasantly beachy walk along the water, stopping every now and then to photograph some of the crashing waves and rip curls that looked so cool.

When Cynthia finally finished, we headed back to the Westin to enjoy some more beach and pool time. It was so nice to just sit and chill without too many to-dos to check off. And it was really nice to just sit by the pool and relax. Not that I did any of that, haha. I actually spent much of the afternoon swimming and sliding down the big slide into the pool before doing it again. And again. And again! SO MUCH FUN! I shot down the slide six times or so before I ran over to grab Cynthia to coerce her into trying it out as well! Because it was so fun!

After thinking it over and talking to some other tourists, Cynthia finally decided to give it a try and after a long wait in line, she finally went down the slide… albeit slowly, haha. But good for her for trying a slide again after the traumatic experience she had the last time I got her on a water slide in Orlando… Once Cynthia was done with the pool for the day, I went down the slide two or three more times before calling it a day at the pool as well. But I wasn’t done with the water. I couldn’t stop there on my last day in Hawaii! With the remaining time I had left before an early dinner, I ran over to Kaanapali Beach to take one last dip and swim in the Hawaiian waters. By this point in the afternoon, the tide was starting to rise and the waves were starting to grow bigger and bigger. It was crazy to experience the (relatively) big waves and the rising and undulating tide while floating and swimming in the water! With every incoming wave, it was crazy how high I floated up and how far the beach floor dropped beneath me. Imagine how fun it would be to ride these waves with a boogie board or a floatie! 

Once I was done with the ocean, I went back to the pool to grab Cynthia so we could head out to our early dinner at Paia Fish Market on Front Street. The wait at the restaurant was a little longer than expected so Cynthia took that opportunity to go find gifts for people while I waited in line and eventually ordered the food. We picked Paia Fish Market for dinner because we wanted to finish off the trip with some highly-rated fish tacos and Paia Fish Market provided us with just that at a cheap-enough price! I ordered the fish taco dinner, which consisted of two fish tacos (one was with Cajun seasoning and the other was with butter, salt, and pepper) with coleslaw and cajun rice, for myself and ordered a Cajun shrimp taco and a butter, salt, and pepper fish taco for Cynthia. After Cynthia returned with her first round of gifts, she left again to buy some Honolulu Cookie Company cookies while waiting for our food since we found out last minute that the cookie store closed early. By the time our food came out, Cynthia was still waiting to buy the cookies. So I went ahead and ate and waited for Cynthia to come back to eat some of her food before we raced out of the restaurant to make it back to the resort for our last sunset of the evening. 

Before we arrived at the resort, Cynthia had already decided that she would take it easy and slowly make her way to the beach at her own pace. So when we got to the Westin, I ran through the resort first to get to the beach, the entire time eyeing the sky and horizon in anticipation of the beautiful upcoming sunset. Once on the beach, I realized that the perspective I was looking to capture sunset from was not immediately available in front of me. So I ended up rushing down the sidewalk that connected the back of all the resorts along the beach for half a mile or so until I approached a bend in the shoreline. There, I stopped and looked back as the sun was setting and realized that this spot would probably be my best bet for capturing some sunset landscapes. I walked onto the sandy beach and pulled out my camera and tripod and quickly set up for the sunset photoshoot. 

The scene was incredible. As the sun set, the sky was painted in a variety of oranges while the clouds provided beautiful textures in the clear, muted blue sky. Wow! And along the horizon, as I was photographing sunset, I also glimpsed a couple of silhouetted boats floating by, providing me some great photographic pieces to place in the foreground of my sunset landscapes. The sunset on our last day was extraordinarily beautiful and spectacular! And probably the best one I saw while in Maui! So lucky to have had the chance to witness a fantastic sunset on my last evening in Maui! 

Once I had made my way back to the Westin after the sun had disappeared from view, I caught up with Cynthia, who was in line making use of our free drink tickets. Before long, she had come poolside with my Frozen Mai Tai and her cocktail of choice. As we sat next to the pool and listened to live music being played at the restaurant behind us, we sipped at, and then chugged, our free cocktails and celebrated our last evening in Maui, soaking it all in as our vacation came to an end. 

After one last glimpse of the beautiful resort and pool area, we left to pick up our luggages from the valet guys at the front and rushed to the car to reorganize our stuff before speeding along to the airport to catch our flight back to Los Angeles. I can’t believe how quickly our seven days of island life on Maui flew by! So sad to leave this tropical island paradise called Maui and head back to work in busy, traffic-y L.A... But alas, all vacations must come to an end...

5 Things I Learned/Observed Today:

1. Pool chairs, beach chairs, and cabanas with front row views of the pool or the beach definitely get scouted out and claimed early in the day at beachside resorts. But if you wake up at sunrise, chances are that you’ll probably be able to grab a nice place to lounge for the day before they’re all reserved and taken! Also, it’s important to take into account the position of the sun throughout the day and the shade coverage of the resort buildings to make sure you get the ultimate poolside/beachside spot! 

2. Even while on vacation in Hawaii, tons of tourists are still really active in the wee hours of the morning! Walking around at sunrise, you see runners and joggers, yoga people, walkers, and bikers. I guess people need to keep their beach bods ready! 

3. A lomi lomi massage is a traditional Hawaiian massage that uses gentle, continuous, flowing massage strokes in combination essential oils. To me, it feels pretty much like a Swedish massage. It’s so very, very relaxing and soothing! The only issue... it doesn’t go deep enough (like deep tissue) to relax really tight and worn-out muscles from a lot of physical activity. 

4. After experiencing and seeing some big waves here in Maui, I can say that waves in Hawaii can get PRETTY big! When you combine these big waves coming in with the steep dropoff in the water, it makes the perfect formula for a strong rip current that can pull you further away from shore. Definitely be careful when out in these active Hawaiian waters! 

5. Restaurants and shops close so early in Maui! As you have seen me write in previous posts, you can really get screwed over if you start looking for dinner places late in the evening after chasing sunset because a lot of restaurants seem to close before or around 9:00pm. Makes it difficult to eat what you want to eat without planning far in advance or rushing to dinner last minute before it closes. Shops similarly close earlier than you think, so plan accordingly and look at their closing times online before you head out with plans for the day.

[griffith-ben]

My Linked[In]terview

One of my most proud accomplishments related to social media has nothing to do with learning about posting or using the online platform. In Fall 2020, I entered the internship market determined to make the best of these unprecedented times. To me this meant dedicating hours each week to revising and editing my resume to match the criteria of any internships that were remotely interesting to me. I would say on average I spent about four hours per week dedicated to the job hunt, finding listings on LinkedIn, getting inspiration on company websites, and manually creating alternate versions of my resume to best match different positions between sales, marketing, communication, public relations, you name it.  

Goals individuals place on themselves can only be one of two possibilities: a stretch goal or a comfort goal. When sending out my resume in the middle of a pandemic I adopted a “the worst they can say is no” attitude, which ultimately has led me to some immense success. I had two stretch goals that began to come to fruition in October of 2020. One day I got a LinkedIn notification from an unknown and it ended up being a recruiter for the LinkedIn Global Sales Internship role. Looking at this from my realist perspective I knew that there was some sort of artificial intelligence software in LinkedIn that was able to pull my profile as one with “relevant skills that could translate to a career in sales at LinkedIn.” Either way I felt very excited to explore this possibility.

This is where my journey with LinkedIn began. In this message the recruiter sent a welcome video where she filmed an introduction, and it was refreshing to see someone in a more normal way during this global crisis. During this week I began to reach out to my professors to gain opinions on my resume in order to give myself the best shot in the interview process. After making conversation with the recruiter via LinkedIn messaging, I was able to put in my application with confidence.

About a week later or so I received an e-mail telling me I had made it into the first stage of the process which was a fifteen-minute phone screen. We set-up time which was late for us on the east coast, but worked out nicely for the recruiter because the headquarters and where she lives is in San Francisco. Looking back at this conversation there was not much substance to it, just checking in on how the school year is going and basic questions on my experience listed on my resume. Applying what I know from my Sales Management course I know the content of this talk was not what was being evaluated. It was the soft skills of conversing over the phone which is directly applicable to the sales position being applied for.

After the call was over, I was given a timeline of two weeks to hear if I made it into the first round of interviews. I knew I had chosen a time for the phone screen early in the process so to make sure that I remained in the head of the recruiter I had to take action. Something I did that really made me feel more confident that this position was a right fit for me was reaching out to previous interns from the position. Just on LinkedIn alone I was able to strike up conversation with at least five of the previous interns and ask about their experience. I then formulated a thank you email to the recruiter and I mentioned these interactions which further showed my interest and my ability to work with others input.

This is a mostly happy story after all; I did end up making it to the first round of interviews which was extremely exciting to achieve. This call was scheduled for about half an hour and consisted of a video-chat going over those standard interview questions like “tell me about a time where you failed and how you handled it?” And the more sales role specific questions such as “why are you interested in sales?” In this conversation I prepared to have a more back and forth conversation whereas the phone interview was mostly a one-way talking style. I studied up on here LinkedIn profile to get a sense on what we had in common and was sure to use those commonalities in my answers. For example, I used my transition from the running club to the division one team to show hard work, dedication, but tied it into some she could relate to. Based on her profile we had roots in the Midwest which was a great conversation starter. In my running I highlighted the unpredictability of Midwestern weather and from this I learned she had completed a half marathon and I was clued into knowing she could relate to my experience.

In this first round there was only a week turn-around between knowing if we made it into the second round of interviews. I am usually confident in interviews because people skills are one of my strongest skills but, because of my lack of internship experience I was worried if I would be overlooked. In a confetti started email, I got the congratulations email and made it to the second round. For this round I would be interviewing with someone higher up in the hiring manager level. This interview I was preparing to answer behavioral based questions, so I began going through mental preparations to show my story in the most positive light.

For this interview it was done over a video call and lasted for about forty-five minutes. This new woman I was interacting with was inspiring and strong. She has worked her way up to being a Vice President of Sales in three companies and now works as a sales director of North America for LinkedIn. Interacting with someone so high up in an organization I thought was not going to be possible in college, but it was so cool to see how down to earth someone so successful could be. On the day of, I had to miss class, with permission, in order to attend the call. After sharing with my professor about the opportunity it was great to know how much I felt supported in achieving higher.  

The content of this second round interview with the hiring manager was definitely more nerve racking. I was glad I was dressed up in my full suit because even with the window open to a Michigan November I was still sweating nervously. In our conversation I never showed my nerves though, I was calm confident and collected and made sure to speak at a rate that was understandable and would translate well across the video call. She asked questions on my sales experience and why I think I would succeed with LinkedIn, but the question I always love to get in an interview was brought up giving me the confidence I needed to finish strong across those forty-five minutes. The question was along the lines of: tell me about a time where you were under stress and still performed well.  

My answer to this question in a spark notes version always relates to my Leader Advancement Scholar Program experience where we performed a debate course partnered with the Saginaw Regional Correctional Facility. In this experience we were partnered with men that has sentences between two-years and life, we drove to the prison, went through security, and learned alongside these men debate principles and etiquette. Internally, I was a mess. I was very stressed out about being in a prison, I had never known anyone to go to prison, all my knowledge on the prison system came from the media. Even under this stress I was able to walk away with the second highest speaker’s award for best debate and performed two wins as I stepped in for another student when she was sick on the day of her debate. The response from the LinkedIn interviewer was priceless, she said that in her four years of going through rounds of Intern interviews she had never heard a story like that and overall was very impressed.

I left the interview feeling proud of my work, but this is not to be confused with confident on the position. At this stage in the game it was obvious there were very few candidates left. I wanted to leave an impression of myself on the interviewer and share why I wanted to be apart of the Global Sales program. I was able to ask great questions on what it is like working at LinkedIn, culture differences between this job and previous ones, and growth opportunities. I was also able to share my story in an authentic and memorable way.

While this entire LinkedIn process was going on, I did not put all my eggs in one basket. I was balancing three other companies for interviews and was able to land two other offers. Upon notification of another offer with a deadline I reached out to LinkedIn out of courtesy to let them know I have a new timeline. That next day results came back from the Round Two of interviews and I was not selected to move into final round. Though I had other offers, I was devastated at this news. After spending over a month interacting with recruiters, I began to envision my internship living in San Francisco for the summer, I imagined life meeting new people from all over the country, I envisioned a job offer there after college. The world works in mysterious ways and I know that it must have not been meant to be at that time. Moving forward I have built strong connections with LinkedIn and going into my senior year I feel excited at what could be next for me.

As for the power of social media it is obvious that without its impact, I would have never earned this opportunity. Based on my profile, artificial intelligence was able to select me as a candidate with the characteristics to be successful in their internship role. Specifically, I attribute my profile having this status due to my active posting. With higher frequency of posts the AI was able to have more data points to judge me and therefore more reasons to share my name with the recruiter. Social media is often talked negatively in this day and age but this anecdote about LinkedIn is an obvious example of the great things possible.

[hockeylvr59]

Life Changes || Paul Bissonnette

Summary: It’s crazy how quickly your life can change...one minute you’re a struggling personal injury lawyer and the next you’re working for one of the hottest sports podcasts to supplement your income. A new job and the end of a long-term relationship was just the beginning for Leigh Thompson when it comes to life changes. Thankfully she has the one and only Paul Bissonnette at her side to help her handle them all. 

Authors Note: Rewriting my Biz series with an OC so that I can give it a little bit more depth and write out the things that popped into my head but seemed too specific for a y/n imagine. In addition to updating the chapters I’m adding in all the social media content [located at end] (which is super labor intensive) so I hope you enjoy it. Note in this world, Spittin Chiclets has separated from Barstool Sports. 

Warnings: like one swear word     Requested: [ ] yes [x] no     Word Count: 2,033

___________________________________________________________

“Great things never came from comfort zones.”

My head was in my phone as I read my daily motivational email while stepping off the plane in Boston. In a way, it almost seemed as if the writers knew exactly what it was that I needed to hear. Because this…this was the exact opposite of my comfort zone. Managing the business operations and events schedule for a popular hockey podcast was not what I’d imagined doing with my law degree.

But I wanted to start up my own practice, a practice in which I only got paid if I could find clients and win their cases. So far, that wasn’t going so well as far as paying the bills was concerned. So when a fellow lawyer had gotten me an interview for this part-time gig, I couldn’t turn it down. It seemed like something fun and different and I’d just been dumped because my ex had ‘met someone else’ so I really had nothing to lose.

Now, two weeks after I’d started work, I was arriving in Boston to meet the hosts of the podcast and their producer in person. Of course, the trip was also for a meeting for a sponsorship deal but I was trying not to think about that because it would be my first big test as their business manager and I didn’t want to fuck it up.

It was a Wednesday and the guys were in the process of recording the podcast when my flight was scheduled to arrive so I hailed a cab and checked myself into the hotel. They’d already made plans for us to go out tonight. Clubs were not my thing but again, “comfort zones.” After hanging my suit up for the next day’s meeting, I climbed onto the hotel bed to work on writing a complaint for my newest client’s case. Hopefully, the whole thing wouldn’t go much farther than that and we could reach a settlement but right now the insurance company wasn’t cooperating, so this was the next step in the process. By the time I finished, it was time to eat and then get ready to go out and so I ordered dinner and ate while watching something random on tv.

Around seven, I pulled out the clothes I’d brought for tonight, a red sparkly tank and dark jeans with a black leather jacket and red flats. Yes, I was going to be dwarfed by these men but heels weren’t my thing either and I’d rather not trip and fall and embarrass myself in front of them. I’d talked with each of them on the phone a few times but this was the first time I was meeting any of them in person and so my anxiety was high.

Quickly doing my hair and makeup, I grabbed my phone, wallet, and hotel key and stepped out into the hall. The five of us were meeting in the lobby at eight and it was already about ten til. When I stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, I looked around but didn’t spot any of the guys I was meeting. Well, at least I wasn’t late.

Leaning against one of the pillars in the lobby I checked social media on my phone once more, Snapchatting my sister like I did every night so my mother knew I was alive. Looking up from my phone after snapping a picture of the lobby, I spotted Ryan Whitney looking around. Waving just a bit, I smiled when he nodded and approached, quickly introducing himself. It wasn’t like I didn’t know who he was, I’d watched him play for the Penguins when I was still just a teenager, but the familiarity of the introductory process helped put me at ease.

“How long have you been down here?” He asked hands shoved into his pockets. 

“About five minutes,” I responded with a small shrug and after a moment he nodded, seemingly impressed. “Hey, when I’m supposed to be somewhere by a certain time I make sure I am. I hate being late. I am not one of those women that are never ready on time.”

“Teach that to my wife please.” He declared his tone light and teasing. When another man approached calling Whitney’s name, I glanced over my shoulder and mentally cataloged the man as Mike Grinnell, the show’s producer. Of all of the men I was now working with, he was the closest to me in age. After he greeted Ryan Whitney he turned his attention to me.

“You must be Leigh. Nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“I would say the same but I grew up in Pittsburgh and I’ve followed the show for a while so I think I have faces down.” I tried to keep my comment as light as possible while reaching out a hand to shake his. Tonight was either going to go well or be really awkward and I was silently praying for the former. Thankfully, before the current situation could get awkward, the other two members of your group, RA and Paul Bissonnette made their way into the lobby. Introductions with them were brief because they were all eager to get an uber and head out to the lounge they’d picked.

During the car ride, the guys pretty much conversed among themselves so I took the time to observe their personalities when there was no reason to front and they were just being themselves. Stepping into the lounge was like entering another world and the five of us quickly made our way to an empty table. Settling into the booth, I looked around, taking in how the level of the music was quiet enough that I could actually hear myself think and how it was crowded but not overly so.

Whitney offered to buy the first round of drinks and when I asked for water they all looked at me like I was crazy.

“What? I’m thirsty. I haven’t had anything to drink all day because I got caught up in work. Last I checked alcohol doesn’t really help with hydration. Plus I’m just not a big drinker…” I did drink socially but I’d never been drunk and I was already worried about making a fool of myself. Alcohol certainly wouldn’t make me any less self-conscious. Actually, it would probably make me make a bigger fool of myself. Thankfully the guys decided to pick their battles and didn’t pressure me and when Whitney handed me a bottle of water I thanked him before taking a sip.

Once the guys had drinks, it didn’t take long before they started asking me a million questions. I’d known this was coming, after all, I was the newbie to the group and if I was going to be working closely with them it was probably best that they get to know me. At the beginning the questions were mild, asking about my schooling and aspirations practicing law. I explained what had caused me to go back to school for my law degree and how my business management degree hadn’t exactly paid off the way I had planned. When I told them about my time working for my undergraduate university’s athletic communications office, and spending a semester as an events marketing intern for the Steelers, it was clear that they were a little thrown off by the extent of my background in sports but that they were impressed at the same time.

Of course, after that, it was unsurprising when a bunch of hockey guys and former hockey players transitioned into talking hockey like they hadn’t just done it for hours earlier in the day. It was also unsurprising, at least to me, when as a lifelong hockey fan I threw my own opinions into the mix. I’d been attending Penguins games since I was three or four years old thanks to my dad’s company seats and hockey had gotten me through some tough times, including law school. That led to the good-natured teasing from the guys about which players I found attractive and after insisting that we’d be there all night if they really wanted to know I smirked and made my way to the bar for another bottle of water. While I was a fan of the game for many reasons that didn’t have to do with player attractiveness, I also wasn’t blind. 

When the sports conversation ended upon my return to the table, the more prying questions began. I refused to answer anything that made me completely uncomfortable, but I was forced to explain how I had just gotten out of an eight-month relationship and how my ex had been a total jerk about it. Even surrounded by men, there was sympathy as to the fact that he’d just shown up at my door and ended things. No fanfare. No signal that it had been coming. It had been a long-distance relationship but it had seemed like things were going well and then it was just over. It sucked because he was the first man I’d truly had feelings for and it felt like I’d wasted eight months of my life, but the wounds weren’t quite so fresh a few weeks later and ultimately I was going to be okay.

Around 11 o’clock, I felt the fatigue of the flight and the exhaustion from being social starting to take over so I decided to head back to the hotel. It didn’t seem like the guys were ready to leave yet but I was confident enough to call myself an uber. Sliding out of the booth I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

“Not to be even more of a spoilsport but I think I’m going to call an uber back to the hotel. We’ve got the meeting in the morning and I’m exhausted.” RA, Whitney, and Grinnell just nodded and murmured goodnight. When I turned to say goodnight to Biz, I found him sliding out after me and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I’m gonna head out too.” He declared.

“You don’t have to…I’ll be fine on my own. I’m a big girl.” I insisted worried that he felt obligated to cut his night short in order to protect me. 

“I’m not saying you aren’t or that you can’t. But I’m ready to go to bed too so we might as well share an uber.” Throwing my hands up in a gesture that said ‘fine whatever,’ I finished ordering the ride before stepping out of the lounge and onto the sidewalk. In the cold March Boston air, I couldn’t help but yawn, running my fingers through my hair. It was definitely time to get back to the hotel, take the makeup off, change into pajamas and just chill.

The ride back was quiet, the two of us focused on our own phones. I’d gained the entire crew as Instagram followers tonight and to ebb the confusion of anyone paying attention I added my new job title to my Instagram bio before posting a picture I’d taken tonight. I could feel Biz’s eyes on me on and off and when we got back to the hotel, he reached out a hand to help me out of the uber.

“Aren’t you going to follow me back?” He asked while the two of us were waiting for the elevator.

“Only if I unfollow you just to follow you again...” I declared biting back a laugh when he looked down at me slightly confused. “Is it really that shocking that I would have followed you before tonight?” A soft ‘guess not’ left his mouth and I rolled my eyes before stepping onto the elevator and pressing the button for my floor. He was one above me and so when the elevator stopped I murmured a ‘goodnight’ before quietly making my way back to my room. 

After changing, I settled into bed and set my alarms for the morning before turning the bedside light out to go to sleep. In spite of my fears, tonight had gone pretty well and I actually had fun hanging with those guys. This job was looking to be a change for the better.

Chapter 1 outfit:

Chapter 1 social media: 

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,330

Home alone for the first time in I think three weeks?? And by home I mean Allynda’s home. Lights off almost everywhere. Moon lamp, Scentsy dark crystal, candle, streetlight, three more candles, and the lowest lighting of the touch lamp. The Ballad of Love and Hate playing. Just got out of a hot hot bath during which I decided I feel capable of writing out the love story, well at minimum the beginning of it. I would call the start the best part, but I hesitate to say so. Intimacy was the best. Before that was just the delicious anticipation of that. Yeah so I realized I want to write about it tonight which was the smallest gasp of relief. I know there was a time when I couldn’t fathom remembering the sweetness. Begged for protection from those memories actually. And truthfully, I think that prayer was heard and answered. Sure they suddenly come for me sometimes, but they’re almost always quick and painless, like a shiver. Like a muscle memory. Phantom. Hm, hm.

“You’re still all over me like a wine stained dress I can’t wear anymore.”

We knew each other back when we were kids. To be specific, he was definitely a kid and I was in high school haha. (I believe he’s four years younger than me.) We were goof around pals that saw each other occasionally when our churches got together for Christianese functions. It wasn’t a close friendship, but me and my friends were very fond of him and his best friend. I left home in 2010 and probably interacted with him online once or twice throughout the next seven years of wandering on my own. I wasn’t keeping tabs.

November 2017. His best friend ended up falling head over heels in love with an old friend of mine. They had a sweet little “café con leche” wedding ceremony. There were a whole pile of people I knew at the reception and we filled up a long table. I noticed two friends seemed to be checking somebody out and when I curiously turned to follow their eyes, there was Omar. And uh, haha, he was definitely no longer a kid. Broad shoulders and the longest curls. I noted that he was nervously glancing around the room, probably looking for someone he knew. (I found out later it was an uncomfortable wedding for him.) Without a second thought, I stood up and excited rushed over to him. It was a short conversation, an exchange of pleasantries. What he’d been up to and what I’d been doing. He told me he was a vagabond and I told him I’d just been assigned the role of Staff Director at Sky Lodge. I mentioned that if he didn’t have anything going on in the summer he should come up and work. He said it’s something he had considered before and gave me a maybe. I don’t believe I saw him again the rest of the night.

Fast forward to the spring hiring season. For a few months, week after week, day after day, I was trying to round up summer staff, particularly a strong adult leadership team. I was interacting with maybe 100 college kids throughout this process with the goal of getting around 12 of them to commit to a full summer at camp. It is a grueling process. That spring specifically I felt like I was being forced to relentlessly coerce others to apply for a ministry they seemed to have Absolutely Zero Interest in. The applicants I did have were concerning to me as far as trustworthiness. I knew I wasn’t doing a great job and that knowing made it hard to do even a good job. Once May came around I had no fight left in me. And then I got weird messages from Omar. He had said early on that he wasn’t available, but whatever he had lined up fell through so he was wondering if there were still spots. I sent him the info and he said he’d apply that evening. A couple days later nothing had come through from him so I messaged him to see what was up. He had read the application and was no longer interested. I had a gut feeling and asked, “Is it because you don’t think you want to work for us or because you think you won’t get hired?” He told me it was a little of both and felt like parts of the application process were intrusive. Which, lol, he wasn’t wrong. I was thrilled. Asked if he’d be willing to fill it out and then have a longer discussion with me about his misgivings. He said he would. I remember calling my sister after I read what he submitted and giddy announcing, “HE’S A REAL LIFE PERSON.” He hadn’t given religious robot answers. He’d been forthright and controversial. He would bring something So Different than everybody else I was hiring AND THAT POSSIBILITY WAS DEEPLY INTRIGUING TO ME. I scheduled his interview, knowing I’d be deciding if we were going to hire him BUT ALSO he would be deciding if he wanted to come. I told him he should take a few days to really really think it through, talk it over with people he trusted, and genuinely pray about it. I started asking God to work it out if it was supposed to.

Okay. A little pause because I’m about to write about a part that I want to make sure comes off as how it actually was. First, I want to be clear that I was 0% attracted to this person at this stage. We were both grown, but he was still a kid to me. A long ago friend who I’d lost touch with. I was in boss mode, desperate to have admirable leaders I could count on for the summer (which was only a week away). Second, there was a specific season of my life where I considered myself very in tune with the Holy Spirit. I communicated with Her consistently and believed I heard from Her pretty often. That may sound kooky to you, but it doesn’t change what I believed then haha. This story I’m telling occurred like, five years after that Era of Very In Tune. Which I feel the need to say because like, interacting with the Holy Spirit still happens in my life, but rarely. I’m not seeking it out as frequently and hardly ever get anything straight from Her. Lol, if this weirds you out, no worries it weirds me out too. Okay so. With those said.

The morning before his phone interview, I was driving around a riding mower praying about the conversation we were going to have. I was concerned that he wasn’t going to choose us, worried about how I might screw up a good thing. I big time wanted to know that he’d be good for camp AND that camp would be good for him. Honestly I probably wanted the second one even more. I was stressing about it to God. And like. I wouldn’t write this except that it’s true. I out of the blue just experienced 100% reassurance that Omar would be at Sky Lodge for the summer. Right there, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was was going to say yes. And like, I knew it was from the Holy Spirit. That familiar Her. Burst into tears because like I said, I wasn’t hearing from Her as much as I used to. So to suddenly experience that rush?? I wept happy tears. When I came in for lunch I told Jeremy we could start putting Omar’s name on all the official lists. He was like, “But you haven’t done the interview yet? And didn’t you say he might not even want to be here?” And I was like, “Look. I know he’s gonna say yes. I can’t explain how, but put him on the lists.” Then I went out in the sun and called him up. We talked through several complicated things. It was an articulate conversation between two people who respected each other. (It is very weird to think about how much I low key instantly trusted Omar.) And lol. The end of the conversation was me big smile saying, “So uh, everybody else is getting here on Thursday to get moved in and settled by 5 o’clock. So.” and then he was big smile basically like, “Okay. Yeah. Well. Huh. Yeah I’ll be there.”

And sure enough he was. Well kind of. He showed up late. Everybody else was going through the line for dinner when he called me to say he was here but not sure where to go. I ran out of the dining room and saw his black car pull in. Showed him to park down by Maple. Noticed the John Mayer poster rolled up in his back window so we chatted about our mutual fondness for him on the quick stroll to the Lodge. I remember as dinner was finishing up the Foremen were starting to gather. I was staying on the edge, interested to see the beginnings of all their dynamics. Noticed Omar keeping his distance, but not in an uncomfortable way? Like, he definitely wasn’t exuberant, but he wasn’t closed off either. He was wearing the DAYDREAMER hoodie. He couldn’t hold still? I decided I didn’t need to worry about him and hoped he would pick buddies soon.

Foreman Training. Okay. He was definitely the most interesting person in the room. I mean, besides me of course. He was laid back and whenever he spoke up it was good for everybody. He kept giving out nicknames. Playful. Oh lol, when we’d take breaks, he and Elicia had a game of pool going on which was great because it gave the other girls the chance to watch him flirt. He was noticeably special. I was glad I hired him, because he consistently brought the group’s average up. And we got along well. One night after training had wrapped up the two of us got into a chat about the Kardashians, which lead to Kanye, which lead to President Trump, which lead to talking about Omar being brown. On my walk to my home, I txted him apologizing for maybe expressing too much and not asking enough questions. He told me not to worry and thanked me for the conversation. THERE WERE NO BUTTERFLIES YET. This was my first shot at being a true blue leader and I wasn’t taking that lightly. Being good for everybody working for me was my obsession.

Foreman Campout. Okay. Several things happened here that I want to note.

1. We had a mega controversial meeting about cell phones, during which I suggested we make an official policy that Foremen would leave their phones up in my office unless they needed them for something. It was a kick I was on mostly. A very firm belief that the less the Foremen were on their phones the higher quality their summer would be. There was immediate pushback. I was fending off tiny arguments. Suddenly Omar gave this rallying speech of like, “Come on guys. What the heck? Why are we being babies about this? This could be a really good thing for us!” And that settled it. He had power.

2. The morning after it rained there was a little pack of us huddled up in the gazebo talking about what the storm had been like for us. I asked if anybody had a pen I could borrow and Omar ran to get me one from his backpack. I journaled something like, “Last night I tried to imagine somebody to fall asleep with and couldn’t think of anyone. It’s nice to not be even a little in love with anybody.” AND I MEANT THAT. THERE WERE NO VIBES YET.

3. We all went tubing together and slowly but surely got split up into tinier squads. I was with Marissa and Omar, which was the ideal scenario for me. A lot of stupidity and laughter. Goofballs. There was definitely a point where I was wondering if there was chemistry between them. They drifted further ahead than me towards the end and I thought, “Interesting. We’ll see how that unfolds.” Once everybody was back on land I heard a bit of, “Ooh did you see Omar and Marissa?” It wasn’t a match in my head, but I didn’t think that hard about it.

4. The drive back to Sky Lodge, haha. Omar and I were both on the first bench. Him in the middle and me next to the sliding door. Jeremy was driving and Chris was shotgun so the four of us were chatting away. We passed some fields getting irrigated and I made some offhand comment about the Farmers’ Almanac. Omar suddenly turned to me and was like, “What do you know about that?” I tried to defend myself and he was like, “This sounds like you’re just making stuff up.” WHICH. EXCUSE ME. I WAS NOT. I couldn’t believe it. Him just challenging me right to my face. I was surprised and super secretly thrilled. Do you want me to explain that? Like, I didn’t feel dismissed by it. It was like he wasn’t allowing me to sound stupid and get away with it. Like. More was expected of me? He wasn’t gonna let me be high and mighty as his boss. And that like. Lol. It bothered me, but in a good way.

5. Okay this one was his story that he told me later. Both of us were claiming that there wasn’t any attraction happening yet at the campout, but then he was like “Oh hold up.” He said that on that drive back, most of us in the van were slowly falling asleep. I dozed off and was sort of precariously placed, like there was potential my head might land on his shoulder or my knee would drift into his. He said I woke up a little, noted the situation, and arranged myself as far from him as I could. He said he thought, “Why is she being like that?” And then he thought, “Wait actually why is it bothering me that she’s being like that???” Lol.

6. We got back and dropped everybody off at the staff dorm with announcements for the next day. Edith, my right hand woman, had evening rounds so the two of us did a super quick debrief of the trip standing outside my front door. I mostly remember making the statement that we had to look out for Omar because a lot of the girls seemed interested in him. It meant in a few weeks either they would all turn on each other OR all turn on him. Edith laughed and was like, “Well soon him and Elicia are gonna make out. Then nobody else will want him.” We giggled and I was like, “I just don’t want everybody to decide he’s a flirt when he’s actually just comfortable around women.” And like, haha. I WRITE THIS AS PROOF THAT I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.

Alright so. Lol. Mm, mm. I’m gonna let me hit a hard pause for the night because I’m losing steam. Will come back to this though and soon. It’s a time in my life where I do have the space to get it out and I think I’d like to. Idk if it’ll be healing or useful. I’m not worrying about damage and maybe I should? But. Look. I fell in love with a good one who fell in love with me too. And. I’m not choosing to take my hands off it yet. Still pulled in. Fixated. I keep being afraid that I’m coming off embarrassingly obsessed, panicked that I’m weak and messy. But. Lol. I actually don’t feel like those things at fucking all. I do feel like someone became part of my life and with him I grew in gorgeous ways that I kept wanting to grow in and then I lost that person and now I am having a hard time figuring out some other gorgeous ways I can grow now. And like. I cannot have more of Omar or more from him. Not right now I can’t. But that doesn’t change that I already have a lot of what he did give me. And it’s really mine and I’m not required to like, demolish it to smithereens in order to qualify for moving on.

[omgbrainstorming]

John Rogers’ Facebook Live

For those of you who didn’t know, this evening on the UPtv Facebook page, John Rogers (writer and producer of The Librarians and Leverage) did a Live and answered fans’ questions.

Here’s a recap of what happened (it’s a freaking poem, sorry!):

The comments in square brackets [like these] are my comments.

It started with some good old awkward silence (because few people were there and UPtv wanted for him to wait).

He said hi to everyone and marvelled at the fact that he had The Librarians fans watching him from all over the world (Please don’t ask me what time is it where I live). Someone had mistaken him for an actor and he thanked them, but said that they were mistaking him for someone way cooler than him.

In the meantime, he had a record on the wall behind him and someone asked him about it, he proudly took it in front of the camera to show that it was a 45 Bohemian Rapsody record (he’s a big Queen fan).

He reminded all of you lucky folks in the US that UPtv is not only showing all the episodes with new material every Wednesday, this weekend there will be a The Librarian marathon (the 3 movies plus the pilot and interviews with the cast), so don’t forget!

What was his fave moment from the show?

One of his fave was the videogame episode written for John Kim, the idea of the episode wasn’t new, but it was supposed to be a sort of redemption arc for Ezekiel. John Kim wasn’t a seasoned actor when he came from Australia to film the show and he really gave his best in this episode, thanks to - John Rogers added - the help of John Larroquette (Jenkins) and Rebecca Romijn (Eve Baird) who really helped him a lot. 

He added that every single moment spent watching John Larroquette was a great moment [and can’t we Larroquetthishes understand], also watching Rebecca and Noah interact was really funny because Flynn had been really unlucky, romantically speaking, on the show and watching him being pulled out of his shell because of Eve, his equal, was a gift, especially when they figured out that Rebecca had a lot of comedian potential and they learned to tap into that. He liked working with Jonathan Frakes, and when Christian Kane finally got to fight in season 3 and 4 (they intentionally held him back). Overall too many great moments because it was a great cast. 

Please talk about your experience as a writer and producer for The Librarians.

He wasn’t one of the original writers, he just hopped on the first and third movie of The Librarian because Flynn is a polymath and he (John Rogers) has a degree in phisics and could help with lots of science and cool knowledge stuff. After Leverage ended they managed to get the rights to make a tv show out of The Librarian, they had schedule problems because Noah was on Falling Skies, so they needed to make it quickly, they couldn’t replace him because he was a franchise character, so they came up with the idea of a team looking back at the first movie [when there’s that loooooooooong queue of people on the stairs that are trying to get the job like Flynn] and thought “Who are these people who had a shot of living this magical life?” and just one replacement Librarian would have been constantly compared to Flynn, while a team gave them the possibility to have the format change they were looking for. So then they sat down to think how Flynn would change and how these new characters would change. John Rogers thought about the fact that throughout the movies a big theme was loneliness, because this dream job made you isolated, and Noah was all for playing a Flynn who had been through a lot of action in those 10 years and was a different guy. 

What was your inspiration for the episodes you wrote?

They put togethere a lot of ideas, mainly thinking “What is a great myth, urban legend, urban lore, etc.? And how do we twist it?” Because us, the fans, watch a lot of genre entertainment, so we were probably ahead of them in terms of knowing the subject. So they decided to start with “something like the 90s X-Files, something that the audience’s expecting, and twist it!”. He makes the example of the “witchcraft episode” [1x07 The Librarians and the Rule of Three, the one with Morgan Le Fay] “so in the 90s the kids.. it would’ve been a goth cult doing satanic practices, how do we twist it? Well, it turns out it’s actually the parents and it’s with good intentions. And also we brought in Morgan le Fay, fantastic character”. They sit down, think about the themes, do a lot of research, have fun with weird historical stuff and then twist it. Then he added that beside all of this, they listened to whatever John Larroquette would say/point out because “whatever John Larroquette says is super super interesting!” [Preach.]

How did you decide the villains of each season?

Since they didn’t know if they were going to be renewed (this for each season), they always tried to give us closure, they didn’t want to leave us hanging too much, they tried to make each season like a book with only one big villain. Since the first season was a reboot of the movies they used the original villain, The Serpent Brotherhood, to ease us in a new mythology. By the second season they were really fascinated with how books and narrative works, so Geoffrey Thorne came up with the idea of the fictionals. For season 3 and 4 they found an interesting historical path to follow and explore. So they actually decided first what they wanted to talk about in that season and then picked a villain that would fit. 

Where does the story of What Lies Beneath the Stones come from?

[Can I say that this question is getting old?] Jacob Stone comes from a place where he’s uncomfortable with himself and that’s mostly because of the expectations that are put upon us by others, so they wanted to tell you where those expectations came from, in this case from his father. John Rogers was quick to assure us that Christian actually has a great relationship with his father, but they wanted to show what happens when you leave home, when you go out of a “redneck” situation like that. 

If there could have been only one Librarian in the end, which of the LITs would you have chosen?

“Well that’s not fair!” He says that there’s a reason for which he wrote the season 1 finale like that, to show you what all of them would have been like as the ultimate Librarian, partially because they didn’t know if they were getting a season 2 (they filmed it all before airing) and he “has no desire to revisit that nightmare”, he likes to think that “Ezekiel is annoying the hell out of Stone” somewhere, somehow, still all happily together. [Is John Rogers a Jazekiel shipper? Yes, he is]

Had you been able to do a 5th season, what ideas would you have liked to explore?

He thinks that the show had a lot more seasons in it than what they actually got, and they were leaning toward the idea that you can’t keep a secret forever, they would have to go public, they would have to address the fact that magic is in the world and the world would find out and that would have been a whole new mess. 

How did you come up with Galahad and the other immortals?

A lot of it was looking back at the movies, and once they established that Jenkins was immortal and Excalibur was there as a character, “a real character, he made us all cry when he died! I mean, probably my favourite thing in my entire career, is that I made a bunch of people cry when a sword died on tv!”, it made sense to look at the Knights of the Round Table for immortals (with the help of historians on staff, like Kate Rorick) and other immortals too are just “what are other cool myths and how do we integrate them with our story?”

Why otters?!

Always in the Morgan Le Fay episode, they were researching projects to put in the background and they stumbled upon the fact that otters are actually really dangerous, and “when you’re a bunch of writers locked in one room with each other for ten hours a day... you get a little sneaky, and so... deadly otters just became a recurring joke and we just never let it go!”

Which of the cast members could you see as a librarian, working the books and stuff?

Surprisingly for us, he says, Christian Kane, because he had a real interest in history, and he or Lindy Booth would have had a natural inclination towards it. 

When did you decide Charlene and Judson were an item? I ask since in the movies it was never really hinted at.

Bob [Newhart, Judson] was retiring and Jane [Curtin, Charlene] was on a CBS show and they had just enough time to shoot that first episode of season 1 with them, so they had to tie them together to say goodbye at the same time. They first tied them together with her being his Guardian - there was actually a cool sword fight with Jane Curtin we never got to see because there wasn’t enough time - and when they brought her back they got to throw Jenkins in the mix (they liked their banter and decided to up their relationship) [dumbest decision ever], they created a backstory and properly said goodbye to her. 

About the death of Excalibur,

 on the first edit Dean put in the dog whines sound without warning him and when it played he told him it was too heartbreaking, take that out, but Dean loved it.

Did you keep anything from the set?

No, because they were still shooting when he left. Everyone wanted the Globe, but Dean kept it. 

So who was Charlene married to prior to Judson?

Actually, it was after Judson. But he said “think of Higlander, once you realise Judson will never be able to settle down you think, well, maybe you should have a human relationship to have a real life”

What do you think was the secret sauce that made the show so special?

“Honestly, I think it was love”. And the fact that they could literally tap into any subject, and “they could all hit a joke!”, they [the cast] really liked each other, “Rebecca and Lindy were inseparable, everyone adopted John [Kim] as their little brother” so that showed on camera. On a business side nobody else was making a family show. 

How did you keep pace with the episodes so that nothing would happen too quickly?

In the first season they were lucky to be able to write it all before filming it, so they had a solid background, and he says that it’s important, for the emotional growth of the characters, to see the episodes in the order they were intended to, not like they are on DVD, especially “Jake and Cassie are kinda screwed up if you watch them in the DVD order”. The first season is about how you build trust, welcome to the magical world and see them rise to the occasion. In the second season it was how do you change, you’ve been introduced to this world, how do you become a different person. He loves writing about characters who don’t have a choice but to change. The actors really helped (they came up with “Jacob’s dad, the fact that Cassandra had never really dated so she was not aware of her sexual orientation, John [Kim] wanted to talk about his family. So it was very much talkig to them, looking at the emotional story we wanted to tell over the season and then split it into ten and figure out how to pace that”

How much ad libbing space was the cast allowed?

A lot. He knew Christian very well, kinda knew Lindy, “Rebecca was fantastic, John Larroquette has... nine Emmy’s! John Larroquette won so many Emmy’s he had to ask them to stop giving them to him! So, yeah, you let him do what he wants”. John Kim is a natural talent and Noah knows Flynn inside out. So they all go through reharsal (when they ask “oh, can I change this, can I change that?” and you’re like “yeah, sure” unless it’s a piece of information that is needed for later) and then they ask the directors “can I try this? Can I try that?”, sometimes they just go for it and you keep rolling. In the time loop episode (Ezekiel’s videogame) Christian Kane had to say “Some thief!” a billion times in one day and he tried to make it funny and new every single time.

Did you prefer writing more mythical/historical based stories or more science fiction based stories?

Fifty fifty. The mythical stories were funny because they had to find the real story and then find the magic tweak, science fiction is easier because you have control and people assume that what you’re saying is real, it feels easier. He likes the fact that in the historical ones you think “oh wow! That’s really weird, then you Google it and go like, oh wow! That’s true!”, both cool and sometimes disturbing, he says, what more could you want?

 Was it important for you to be working on a family friendly show?

Yes, very much so. Because there wasn’t much you could watch together with your kids back then. It was a beautiful challenge to make a show with deeply emotional stories and characters with real problems, real arcs, and do it in a family friendly setting. Raise subjects that were relevant, like in the Morgan Le Fay episode where a lot of the staff had kids in highschool and they talked about the fact that kids these days are under so much pressure, so much homework and still need to have lives! And they approached that through the metaphor of magic. 

Which tv shows and movies inspired you as a writer?

Old action shows, con shows, Doctor Who, historical shows, The Rocket Files [?? sorry, I’m really not sure about the name, English is not my first language], Raiders of the Lost Ark, old pulps (they structured the episodes titles to be like old pulps). Probably more books. Alastor MaClaine [??], Isaac Asimov, Robert Howard.

If the show had continued, what other mythologies would you have drawn from for ideas?

Probably expand the Arthurian mythology, Asian mythology, Russian mythology, etc. He would have liked a more diverse casting with the new mythologies to make it even more inclusive as a show, because The Librarians are the Guardians of the world and you should have world cultures and world mythologies represented. 

What were some of your favourite ideas put into the show?

Santa Claus. He thinks it came up because they knew they were going to be a winter show, so they had a Christmas episode, and he said “well, we can just do Santa Claus!” and then someone said “he’d be a friend of Jenkins because he’s immortal!” and then “but who do you get to play Santa Claus?!” and Bruce Campbell had just conveniently moved to Oregon. He was a delight, everyone loved him and he broke their hearts when later his schedule never allowed him to be back on the show. Jeff Thone’s fictionals as well, the vampire quest with Cassie and Jenkins and Clara Lago (Estrella) because of Cassie’s sexuality that was set out at the end of season 1 and had to roll out, basically they figured out who she had chemistry with, “Honestly, I was kinda going for her [Cassie] and Baird, but we never got there. Yeah, Noah kept coming back and he’s a charming bastard! Ops! I’m not supposed to swear, sorry” [John Rogers is a wild fanboy and I love him]. “Most of my favourite things were not mine”

About Nicole coming back:

They had to be careful, because it wasn’t something that could have happened in season 1, the story had to progress before her [you could have just... not brought her back? Just saying], the show needed to be able to stand alone and only then they could bring a character from the original movies back [yeah, but like, why Nicole?? Why not Emily? Better yet, why not Simone?? And don’t you dare tell me “Simone died” because guess what, Nicole was dead too.] 

Which character was the most fun to write?

It’s a tie, but Lindy because he had fun with maths, all the calculations she does they (espacially he) did them, in the pilot when she’s in Stonehenge, John Rogers went there and had fun calculating the actual height of the sun in Germany at that particular time, and then Rebecca because she’s a gifted comedian ancd actor, like with the story that Eve tells Ezekiel in the time loop episode that was the anchor to that episode. 

Who’s your fave director to work with?

They were all great, probably Mark Roskin and Jonathan Frakes. 

About the pilot:

The pilot was a challenge because in the middle of it they found out they could not have Jane Curtin for the second half, so her part was rushed. 

Did you ever have to deal with writers block trying to create such intricate arcs? How did you or would you deal with it?

There’s the writers’ room, so hopefully when you’re stuck, the others are not. That’s why it’s important to rely on your writers, because even if you don’t have a way to approach something, they will. There’s an old saying that goes “you don’t think your way out of a writing block, you write your way out of a thinking block”, if you are stuck you just start writing, even if it’s bad, till you hit one interesting line, one interesting moment and you hook on that and realise that that was what your brain was trying to get to. 

It was action packed, but was it hard to keep it family friendly?

No, lots of them had kids so they knew the right tone. Action doesn’t mean brutal violence, the most challenging thing was how to do the emotional stories that are mature but still resonates with, like, 12yo. 

Did you ever start working on an episode and find it wasn’t working? How did you change in the fly?

It happened only once to him. The physical sets weren’t lining up, they were trying to go for a dream sequence (later on they made something similar with the Wonderland episode), so they changed it with the “deal with the Devil in a small town with Baird’s old friend”. 

Was there ever a storyline that you wanted to do and didn't get to do?

He would have liked to do something more with the “the Government has found out that magic is real”, especially because the idea of magic in the show is not “weeeeee, we can do magic now! Hardwork is what pays off and magic is a short cut and is dangerous”, Jenkins is saying it constantly, they wanted to blow up some myths “everyone loves talking about kings and queens, but everyone forget that that means you don’t have any rights, that’s why Jenkins had that speech at the end of episode 10″ [season 1, Loom of Fate]

Who was the best poker player?

Not John Kim because he has no poker face “I love the boy but you can see everything that he’s thinking crossing his face at all times”.

After the time line resetted in the last couple of episodes, do you think Jenkins still has his D&D games with Jeff?

As you may have noticed from episode 10, season 1, Baird points out that the thing she did with Santa that enables her to remember all the other timelines did not come from the Clippings Book, it came from Jenkins, so the assumption is that Jenkins can at least see other timelines and certainly as immortal he’s aware of them, he’s a different relationship with time, so even if during the timeline reset maybe Jeff doesn’t remember, he [John Rogers] likes to think that Jenkins found his way back to them, if that was something that he enjoyed doing (and John Rogers thinks he does), “but Jenkins definitely remembers all of the timelines, wheter he admits it or not”. [Like, be still my Casskins heart, he remembers, he remember Tea Time in the Annex, I’m cool, I’m calm. Fine. Someone call an ambulance]

Which character relationship was your favourite? Eg. Eve/Jenkins, Jake/Ezekiel etc.

He says that the question is which characters do you prefer to write, because that’s how they exist, with dialogue. He loved Eve/Jenkins because they were “the old guys”, they’ve been through a lot, a lot of pain, loss, so there was a lot of bonding ground in those scenes, and Cassandra and Jacob because they both didn’t have a chance to live their best life, “because Ezekiel is living his best life, it’s just a shallow one”, and then as Lindy and Rebecca became friends they just let them ride with it. And then Flynn/Everybody because when Flynn shows up they can torture him and have fun. 

In the first episode there’s a conversation between Jenkins and Eve about Flynn’s mental state that i just LOVE. It made me fall in love with Jenkins.

That’s the idea of Jenkins, he’s been through A LOT, he’s known pain, has lost a lot and he’ll help you to help other people the way he couldn’t. [I’m crying, someone needs to hug Jenkins for like, a whole new season. I volunteer]

Did you have a favourite artefact?

They were trying to distance themselves from the movies by stopping the show from being all about artefacts. He can’t choose. But he really loved Frankenstein, loved that everyone forgets that in the book he’s actually really literate and wanted to bring him back to show his relationship with Ezekiel but the actor wasn’t available. 

What are you up to currently?

After The Librarians and The Player on MBC he’s adapting the Kingkiller Chronicle by Patrick Rothfuss for the tv.

Was the storybook episode easier or harder to write?

It was really easy once they figured out the archetypes, they wanted to subvert the tropes because they didn’t want Jacob as Prince Charming and they knew Ezekiel was Jack, so Cassandra being Prince Charming was a great clue of what would happen later on “and also, she nailed it! She was amazing, everyone was amazing”. It was very easy to write but very hard to produce. 

I remember reading about an abandoned "Black Mask" idea. What was up with that?

They were thinking about doing a much more complicated time travel story (for season 1), where Eve, instead of being thrown into parallel dimensions, would be thrown back through time, and they’d later reveal that each time the “mysterious hero” that Jenkins was supposed to tell them about, appeared in time of need was actually one of the Librarians going back wearing the mask to save the day, and that Jenkins himself originally had that role. 

In the episode with Dorian Grey, how difficult was it to turn the classic art story into the electronic version.

The idea came very easily, from selfies to narcissism, from that to Dorian, that’s done. 

I loved your blog posts as we went through first season - thank you for that!

He said thank you.

What a great storyline that would be - the black mask - maybe if you get to do reunion movie!!?

He said that instead of looking back he’d like to move forward, what would it be like for them not to have to hide anymore. 

I think the darkest episode was the Bender House, but it was really cool.

Perfect example of twisting classic stories.

Would Ezekiel have ever found aliens?

No, never! They find it too funny, in a world were everything is true, aliens are not. 

Did you ever think about having a kind of "flashback" episode of Jenkins' Arthurian times? [This was mine]

[Ignoring the fact that he though I was Spanish just because I told him who played Estrella - I just Googled it, I’m weak] They did think about it, it was going to be in the season 2 finale, when Eve and Flynn go back in time, it was supposed to be a King Arthur episode, when they were to find out that Shakespeare was Merlin, find him and give him their statue so he would be the guardian of it, but then they thought it’d be cooler - and John [Larroquette] himself liked this better - if even he didn’t know what was going on and they could talk more about his longing and the loss for Flynn and Eve like everybody else, they didn’t want him to be like “let the LITs suffer thinking they’ve lost them while I know better”. [So either the episode didn’t make sense or like... Galahad was just hanging out with Merlin in the Elizabethan period?? So it wouldn’t have been “his Arthurians time”, just “hanging out with almost the only remaining buddy from Camelot”, still cool, but I meant like, middle ages]

Who came up with the Serpent Brotherhood?

It was the original writers. 

He finished reminding averyone about the marathon, to tweet along because the actors will be active (he’ll personally bog John Kim so he’ll remember), he’ll be on the hashtag too. Thanked us fans and closed hoping for new The Librarians material.

Now I’m knackered, it’s stupid early in the morning here, I have yet to go to sleep, send help. (If you see any errors, please let me know!)

[scifrey]

2019 Writing Round Up

The new year is here, and with it everyone is talking about what they wrote this past year. The last quarter of 2019 was a brutal rollercoaster for me, emotionally and personally, so it’s good for me to have the chance to sit here and reflect on what I accomplished and the good things that happened too.

2019 started with receiving a grant from the Toronto Arts Council for The Maddening Science – said grant went to research materials for the novel, a new computer, printer, and keyboard, and paying off some debts. But 2019 also started in a place of utter burn-out, having slammed through writing, editing, and publishing five big novels in three years, as well as rewriting a feature film and completing the scripts for three seasons of a webseries.

I was also working two dayjobs – one first thing in the morning, for an hour and a half, and then a standard eight-hour shift in the evenings which got me home at around 10pm – so my sleep schedule was a mess and I was having trouble not only making time to write, but concentrating when I did have the time.

I started the year in a place of complete exhaustion and mild frustration that neither of my book series had really caught on, and as my agent once said, “burned out from tried to break out.”  I’m not happy to say that I think I still occupy that place a full year later; but I’ve had the opportunity to rest more, and begin to refill my creative well again, and to reclaim my writing space by no longer needing a roommate.

I’m not quite there yet – turns out finishing two series in four years really takes it out of you – but maybe in a few more months I’ll be ready to sit down and begin to spin out a new novel. In the mean time, I’ve got lots of irons in the fire, as you’ll see.

January

The first third of 2019 was dedicated to rewriting The Skylark’s Sacrifice a second time. I’d rewritten it in the last third of 2018 and my editor ended up agreeing that while the rewrite was exactly what she asked for, we should not have gone down that street in the first place. It was what was asked of me, but it didn’t work. So I took it back to the drawing board, and started the re-write all over again.

I also published WORDS FOR WRITERS: The DO-ING Trap.

I finished the edits/polish on A Woman of the Sea, which I had begun in October 2018 and loaded the book onto Wattpad in preparation for serializing it.

February

I spent February rewriting and jobhunting. I tried to write a short story and Did Not Do Well. It’s half done and likely to end up on the Pile Of Unfinished Tales.

At least I got some new words on the page with WORDS FOR WRITERS – Beta Readers.

And I began releasing A Woman of the Sea a chapter at a time on Valentine’s Day.

March

I completed the Skylark rewrites and handed them over to Reuts Publications.  I also published WORDS FOR WRITERS – From Signing to Signing.

At this point I tried to start The Maddening Science, the book I received a Toronto Art’s Council Grant for in 2018, and bashed out a few chapters and a few scenes. But something was off about it, and I couldn’t pinpoint why, so I kept going into the file and only put a few hundred words in here and there. I couldn’t really sit down and dig in, and because I don’t believe in Writer’s Block as a mystical magical reason for why people can’t write (there are always reasons), I had to step back to try to figure out why I was struggling. I assumed it was probably because I was in the middle of job interviews and decided to try again later.

April

I started a new copywriting job, leaving my other two dayjobs, and it sucked up all my brainpower and creativity and made it very hard to want to sit down and compose yet more words at the end of the day.

I resumed working piecemeal on The Maddening Science, pecking out what I could one molasses-slow sentence at a time. I realized that the incidents in the news regarding the current political comment and the toxic white supremacist misogyny that is rampant in our society today has made it very hard to figure out how to tell a responsible story about a supervillain as the protagonist.

I’m still working on that. In the mean time, while I figure out how to restructure the tale, the book and the progress blog are on hiatus.

May

Still brain-dead from work, I only managed to bash out WORDS FOR WRITERS: How do social media and writing/publishing work together?

June

There were some final edits on The Skylark’s Sacrifice to be discussed, but I really did nothing this month beyond marketing pushes and watching all the webseries I judged for TOWebfest.

July

The director of my feature film, To a Stranger, was going to start shopping the script around to executive producers, so before he did that I got some actorfriends together to do a table read. The read, and their feedback, revealed some character motivation gaps in the film, and I set about organizing their notes and figuring out how to solve the issues.

I also wrote and published WORDS FOR WRITERS – How To Write a Synopsis.

This was also the month of TOWebfest, the festival itself, and I spent a lovely day with fellow creators and spoke to some executive producers about my own webseries to try to garner interest.

I was a guest at Pretty Heroes Con for the first time and LOVED it. It’s great to celebrate strong female leads in SF/F and I loved Sailor Moon as a kid, so I was in nostalgic nirvana. It was lovely to introduce those Girl Power-loving fans to The Skylark’s Saga.

August

I restructured and rewrote To a Stranger, added extra characters and extra scenes to clear up some character motivation in the screenplay. It’s now back with the director and I hope to hear that he’s got a production house and an Exec attached to the project soon.

I appeared at FanExpo Toronto to do some panels, sell some books, and judged the short fiction contest. I also wrote and published WORDS FOR WRITERS: How to Create a Pitch Package.

September

The Skylark’s Sacrifice was published! Yay! I had a wonderful launch party at Bakka Phoenix, and got to simultaneously launch the incredible book trailer for the duology animated by Elizabeth Hirst to a song by Victor Sierra. Friends Adrianna Prosser and Eric Metzloff, and Danforth Brewery made it extra special.

I also got to read at Word on the Street, which was been a career-long dream, reading on the new Across the Universe Stage.

However, September was also the month when I lost the copywriting job. I saw it coming, so I was shocked when it happened and how it went down, but not surprised. I wasn’t fitting in well with the team, the original project I had been hired for had been vetoed by the execs, work was being taken away from me and given to freelancers, and I didn’t have the training they wanted (though that makes me wonder why they hired me in the first place.) In retrospect it’s been a blessing, as the workplace was not at all a good fit for me and was slowly becoming toxic, but at the time it was a devastating blow to my confidence and my coffers.

Just a few days after I was fired, on my 37th birthday, I won a Watty Award for A Woman of the Sea. Happy birthday to me! I was offered a place among the Wattpad Stars program and accepted – and wow, is there a lot of paperwork for that – and I’m still trying to figure out what benefits the program offers. (Though I’m pretty chuffed with my free Canva Premium subscription!) A Woman of the Sea was featured on the home page as an Undiscovered Gem and as of today has about 82k reads. Whoa!

I also wrote and published WORDS FOR WRITERS: How to Plan a Series.

October

I spent most of the month sleeping and crying and working through how I felt about getting fired. When one identifies oneself as a writer, to finally get a job in writing was a thrill and felt like a confirmation that although I was struggling with my next book, I was a writer and I’d get through it. Being fired from the job – even though the reason was an exec decision to eliminate my project and thus my role – felt like a very personal blow. I wasn’t a writer after all. (Or at least, that’s what it felt like).

This had me thinking long and hard. Especially about where I wanted my writing career to go next – as much I’ve been writing in the realm of SF/F the past decade, I’ve begun to realize that was I really am is a Character-Driven Romance writer. Romance set in spec fic and fantasy realms, sure, but Romance and Character Work are my wheelhouse and how I should be selling myself.

This realization has been pretty freeing because it means that the frustrations and roadblocks I’ve been coming up against can maybe be dissolved by reframing my brand and rethinking my career map.

Wattpad added the sample of City By Night that’s on Wattpad to their Halloween Reads list on the homepage and I decided to put the whole novella up on the site for people to read. Read it now, though. It won’t stay up forever as the eBook rights to the novel are signed with an indie publisher. This is just a limited-time promotion.

And knowing that readers were asking what I would be posting next on Wattpad after A Woman of the Sea, I rejigged Triptych for the site and started serializing it from the start. You can read it here. This story also won’t stay up forever, for the same reason.

I also started serializing Words for Writers on Wattpad. I won’t be copying over all 75+ articles I have on my website, just the ones that are specifically useful for Watties.

I also polished a webseries and sent it to a producer with a major broadcaster after our convo at TOWebfest for consideration. I’ve followed up but there’s no reply. I’ll follow up again in January 2020 but I can pretty well assume that No Answer is my ‘No’ Answer.

I am thinking about maybe pitching it as a graphic novel in the future, though I’m going to have to reach out to my friends who write them for publishers to figure out how to put at pitch together.

November

In 2017 I handed over a YA contemporary re-telling of “Northanger Abbey” to my agent, and it was lukewarmly received by both her and the handful of editors she showed it to. It was then shelved for possible future reworking.

In the first part of the NaNoWriMo month, I decided to tackle this reworking, and I was still wrestling mentally with The Maddening Science. This reworking was inspired a lot by reading Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston in October, and realizing that the tone I’d been going for with my narrator hadn’t been irreverent or GenZ-y enough for the story I was trying to tell, and not grounded enough in the technologies and social media that my modern-day Catherine Morland would have access to.

I reworked the Pitch Document for the novel, now currently called “Title TBA”, and got to chapter seven during NaNo. I’ve got some thinking to do about structure for the novel, and how far into using Social Media As A Storytelling Tool I want to go with the idea, but generally speaking I’m pretty pleased with the result of the rewrites.

Partway through NaNo, it occurred to me that there was another story that my Wattpad readers were asking for, and one that would be a lot of fun to write. In A Woman of the Sea, my fictional Regency-era  Jane-Austen-analogue authoress Margaret Goodenough writes her debut novel “The Welshman’s Daughters”. As I describe this non-existent novel in A Woman of the Sea, it’s a gothic romance that’s very Elizabeth Gaskell-and-Jane Austen-esque in terms of it being a character study driven romance, with some of the fun high melodrama and gothic tone of Anne Radcliffe. And, in the world of A Woman of the Sea, it’s the first queer kiss in Classic Western Literature.

A handful of readers have asked where they can find this book, or have confessed to going to the library to ask for it, only to learn that it’s not real. I made it up.

And I thought… well, why not make it real?

So I’m working on the pitch doc and the first chapter now, to see if a) this is something I want to pursue and b) this is something that will help me break through my burn-out slump. I hope it will, but I think I still need to take time to rest before I really push into it.

And I still have the “Title TBA” rewrites to complete.

December

I published WORDS FOR WRITERS: How Do I Get An Agent?, and spent the rest of the month just trying to chill. I’ve become a bit of a reluctant reader, so I am trying to push myself to read a little each day, to remind myself why I fell in love with storytelling in the first place.

A Woman of the Sea was turned down for Paid Stories, unfortunately, because of the structure of the romance. The Stars Team explained that romance stories like this one, with one romantic partner in the first half of the book, and a different one in the second (a la Brigit Jones’ Diary) doesn’t tend to do well on Paid because readers are reluctant to shell out for a romance where they don’t meet the HEA partner until later. It’s heartbreaking to hear, because I was really hoping that this might become a viable stream of income for me. At least the team who turned it down were very kind and expressed how much they loved the story in and of itself.

But no matter – onwards and upwards!

What’s ahead for 2020

Well, I’m not sure. This has been a really, really difficult year and I have really, really struggled with trying to figure out who I am and what I want, both in life and as a writer.

Certainly, there will be lot of hard thinking about the future of my writing career. I have ideas that I love and want to pursue, but this post-firing-return-to-the-job-hunt-depression is killing my desire to create. And honestly, the fact that I’ve worked so hard for so many years and haven’t managed to get any sort of break-through or cultural foothold or ability to even really to pay my bills with this job is disheartening. I’m still paying more in marketing every year than I’m making in Royalties.

However, I have some new opportunities on the horizon – conversations happening behind closed doors, as well as Divine Paradox Films still working toward filming To A Stranger, and Alpaca vs Llama shopping The Skylark’s Song as a teens animated series. And the webseries I wrote is under consideration with a new production team, so I can keep my fingers crossed.

Who knows, perhaps the rewritten “Title TBA” might be just the thing to propel my work into a realm where I’m really earning money. Though I had originally envisioned it as the first of a series, the more I work and think on it, the more I feel like it would be best as a stand-alone. I think it would slap a lot harder if it was a one-off.

And I am genuinely liking the plot of The Welshman’s Daughters, and all the research reading and viewing I am doing to get the tone and mood of the book right (please recommend me your favourite Gothic Romances – film, TV, or books!)

But I’m not going to rush anything. It’s nice to be able to remember how to putter with a book and have no looming, razor-blade deadlines hanging over my neck.

2020 will be, I hope, a year of renewed creativity, motivation, and the year where I complete at least one of the three novel projects I’ve started.

For now, I think I’m going to go have a nap.

*

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[talkfastromance4]

More (c.h) Chapter One

This is something I’ve been working on for awhile, more or less for my own fantasy granting joyness. Not sure how many parts this will be yet.

Summary: Single dad Calum doesn’t want to leave his son, Kai while he goes on tour. A nanny accompanies them and Kai isn’t the only one who falls in love.

author’s note: this is sort of a rushed intro lol sorry

Masterlist

*****

Calum was a bit of stickler when it came to love, especially because the woman he thought he loved left him after having his baby and leaving him on his doorstep with a quick written note, I’m sorry. A tiny bundle wrapped in a blue blanket with his birth certificate with no name except for Calum’s. His son, who Calum named Kai, is a spitting image of Calum, no ounce of his mother at all. He didn’t even know she was pregnant when they broke up but his three best friends were more than helpful.

Kai was one now, and although Calum didn’t think he was the world’s most perfect dad, he loved his little boy more than anything. He was his number one priority but Crystal and Sierra noticed how lonely Calum was even before Kai appeared in his life.

“He’s not going to want to go on a date, you know how much Jane hurt him when she ended it,” Michael says while he and Crystal are having lunch with Luke and Sierra.

“But we know the perfect girl!” Sierra insists. “She’s sweet, funny and she works with kids. We’ve wanted to set her up with Cal since before he and Jane even started dating.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think he’d want to try it,” Luke shakes his head.

“Also, remember that Calum has sworn off love,” Michael adds.

“But he hasn’t met—“

“Babe, I love you but let sleeping lions lie,” Michael tells Crystal and both girls slump back in their seats in defeat.

“So, we’ll be leaving on tour in like a month and a half,” Ashton begins at a meeting to discuss the tour schedule amongst other things. “And Cal, I know you don’t want to leave Kai, so . . . do you have any solutions?”

“Mali suggested I hire a nanny,” Calum says looking over at Kai who was playing with Luke across the way. “Which doesn’t sound like that bad of an idea. We’ll be gone for nine months, no way am I going to leave him behind.”

“That seems like a good idea. Have you been looking into anyone?” Michael asks.

“I’ve been researching a few agencies,” Calum nods, “but I haven’t interviewed anyone yet.”

“Want one of us to do it with you?” Ashton cocks an eyebrow.

“That’d be helpful actually, make sure I’m picking the right person.”

“Let us know when you have an interview,” Ashton says then Kai begins to whine and squirm in Luke’s arms.

“Naptime,” Calum sighs lifting his son from Luke. “Hey buddy, let’s go relax, yeah?” Kai quiets down a little but is still fussing when Calum takes him into his room.

“A nanny is a great idea,” Luke says, “she’d be with Kai while we do shows and interviews and things.”

“Yeah, and he’d still be with Cal,” Ashton agrees.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 Calum asked Ashton to interview the ladies that he found on a secure, background checked site. They already spoke with five of them but none of them have really stuck out to Calum.

“What about Kate? She seemed good,” Ashton says.

“She’s too proper. I want someone who will be fun but will follow Kai’s schedule and will vibe with all of us. This is hopeless,” Calum rubs his face with his hands. “If we don’t find someone then I’ll have to leave Kai with my mum and I don’t really want to do that.”

“I know, man, don’t worry. We’ll find someone. Next one is Holly Golde.”

Calum does a double take when he hears the door open and sees the woman walking in. She has frosty blond hair, small stature and the biggest blue eyes he’s ever seen. She was wearing all black with a long gold necklace and her smile was radiant. Wow.

“Hi, I’m Holly it’s so great to meet you,” she smiles holding out her hand.

“Ashton, nice to meet you,” he shakes her hand. “And this is Calum, the father of that handsome fella over there.”

Holly turns her gaze to where Ashton is pointing to see Kai playing on a blanket with his favorite toys.

“He’s adorable,” Holly smiles again.

“Thanks for coming, I’m Calum Hood,” Calum greets and shakes her hand as well. He notices how soft they are against his rough ones. All three of them sit down. “So, have you been a nanny before?”

“No, I haven’t, but I went to school for child care, I work in the nursery at my church every Sunday and I’m CPR certified. I know the hours will be abnormal but I’m willing to help out anyway that I can. I love kids, they’re the best thing in the world.”

“And you’re sure you’ll be fine traveling to different countries with us?”

“I’ll manage it no problem,” she nods affirmatively.

“Can I ask how old you are?” Ashton asks.

“I’m twenty-three.”

“Holly,” Calum says and he likes how pretty it is, “We’ll be dealing with fans all over the world. Obviously if I’m not with you you’ll have security so that Kai doesn’t get bombarded with fans but will you be able to handle that? Being around all those people?”

“I’ll be honest, big crowds like that do frighten me a little bit but I promise you I won’t let anything bad happen to your son. I will make sure he’s safe and protected.”

“When—“

Just then Kai starts crying, all three of them turn their heads to see Kai has fallen backwards hitting his head on the floor that wasn’t covered by the blanket. His round face was pinched and red as tears flowed from his eyes. Calum stood up but Holly was faster and scooped him up in her arms.

“Hey there, baby, did you hit your head?” she holds him on her hip using her left hand to cradle his head. “I know it scared you more than anything, but that’s okay. Here, let’s go look for birdies outside, hm?” she walks him to the window and looks out of it, pointing and bouncing him gently in her arms. She’s talking in soothing tones to him and his cries turn to sniffles.

Calum has never seen Kai adjust to someone so instantaneously before, and be soothed that quickly from someone other than him and his friends. He saw his son’s small fingers clutch the fabric of Holly’s shirt as she continues to point outside which he does as well when he sees something.

Calum turns to look at Ashton whose eyebrows are raised in amazement and nods encouragingly. Holly was perfect.

“Holly, would you like to be our nanny?” Calum asks and she turns around. Kai is playing with a strand of her hair and smiles happily at his daddy.

“Really?!” her eyes widen happily.

“Yes,” Calum grins and pinches his son’s cheek. “I’ve never seen him be taken with someone so quickly before. You’re obviously qualified and . . . I have a good feeling about you. I trust you with him.”

“Thank you, Mr. Hood, I would love to.”

“Please, call me Calum,” he makes a face then laughs. “We’re the same age.”

“All right, Calum,” she laughs. “I accept the job. Thank you.”

“Our assistant is right through there, she’ll go over all the details and paperwork with you, make sure you have your passport and all that. But once that’s finished, we’ll be seeing you in a few weeks when we head to New York.”

“Sounds good, here you go,” she hands Kai to Calum. “I’ll head on back, and thank you again, this is an amazing opportunity.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 

Before leaving for tour, Holly began to nanny for Kai about a week after she got the job. She wanted to make sure she got the hang of Kai’s schedule, and that he would become even more comfortable with her. Calum hated how he wasn’t home that much with Kai since they released the new single from the album, but appreciated having Holly.

He’d come home and the house would be clean, a majority of Kai’s toys would be put away, the dish washer would be runnng quietly and after the first few days, the laundry was done as well. She was impeccable at her job and Calum is extremely happy he hired her. Kai absolutely adores her.

“Hi,” Holly greets with a smile and the laundry basket jutted on her hip. “Kai’s been in bed for about an hour.”

“That’s good,” Calum sighs emptying his pockets of his keys and phones on the countertop. “And thank you for . . . everything. Guess I’m still getting the hang of being a single dad.”

“It’s not a problem at all, and I think you’re doing fine.” She begins to fold Kai’s onesies and his burp rags.

“Thank you, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’ll be coming on tour with us,” he shakes his head and picks up some laundry and begins to fold. “It’d kill me to leave Kai with my parents.”

“Can I ask you a personal question? Please don’t feel obligated to answer, but, what happened to Kai’s mom?”

Calum took his time folding Kai’s onesie that reads ‘Daddy’s little rockstar,’ a gift from Ashton.

“She and I were together for about a year and a half, then out of the blue she broke up with me. No explanation just that it was over. I didn’t handle it well, and then nine months later, she left him on my doorstep with a note saying “I’m sorry.” His birth certificate and full custody papers were with him and it’s been me and him ever since.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry she did that to you,” she holds his forearm in sincerity. “You had no idea she was pregnant when she broke up with you?”

“Not a clue. I don’t know if that’s why she broke up with me, thinking I wouldn’t step up or something which is ironic because she’s the one who left. I struggled a bit at first, I didn’t know the first thing about babies, especially having one of my own. So my parents and sister helped out a lot for the first few months, even the guys did too.”

“Well, Kai is a very lucky little boy to have you as a dad.”

Just then Kai’s cries come through the baby monitor, they turn to it then to each other. Holly places her last folded article of clothing on the couch to go get him but Calum stops her by holding onto her wrist.

“I got it, I haven’t seen him all day,” he smiles. She returns the smile and watches him head down the hallway to Kai’s room.

She continues to fold the laundry and hears Calum’s voice soothe his son through the monitor that’s sitting on the coffee table.

“Hey baby, Daddy’s got you, yeah? You’re all right.”

Holly moves to turn the monitor down but stops when she hears him say her name.

“You like Holly don’t you? I’m glad you’re comfortable with her . . . and she’s very pretty isn’t she?”

Holly’s hand freezes midway to the volume dial; did she hear him correctly? He thinks she’s pretty? He doesn’t say anything else after that and she continues folding the laundry until he comes out a few minutes later. She prayed desperately that her cheeks weren’t rosy.

“Is he okay?” she asks.

“Yeah, I think he might be getting his first tooth. That’s going to be fun on tour,” he heaves a big sigh.

“We’ll manage,” she assures him with a smile and because she says so, he believes they will.