#bc it just makes me feel some type of way
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Yandere Weeping Clown Thoughts!!
CW: Nothing too bad, just your usual creeper, manipulation, and analysis(?) on his character. Tbh hes so yandere coded that everything blurs together atp (and I'm using "yandere coded" sort of loosely bc that makes me sound like a yandere enabler or smth, which like, lol no but in fiction yeah funne). Called him Joker bc it was easier to use/remember than Weepy, and also bc they called them that in all the lore drop so 🤷♀️
A/n: Just saw the new Hullabaloo lore drop and IDV has taken me back into its clutches. He is so yandere material 🫶 Proof read enough to go "that's postable."
Joker is quite sensitive to his darlings perception of him. He always tries to do the right thing, tries to please you so that when you smile at him, that strangely unfamiliar warmth spreads through his chest. A smile tugging on the corners of his mouth, stringing his lips up as if he were a puppet. And a puppet of your design he shall be if you wished it so.
Joker is definitely a worshipping sort of yandere. He'll do most of anything for his darling if it made them just a teeny bit closer. Any progress is better than no progress. Even if it means visiting you in the dead of night to "check on you," or often "bumping into you" in places that you frequent at the manor. He'll stop bothering you if you reject his advances, but he'll come back around sooner or later. Joker doesn't want you to hate him, but he also doesn't want to be away from you! Although you may say some hurtful things like, "It's making me uncomfortable, sorry," or, "Can you leave me alone for a while," he knows deep down that if he teeters around the boundaries you set for long enough, he can wiggle his way through and to your heart. At least, that's what he hopes.
Despite his subservient nature to his darling, Joker isn't so obedient around others. He has his more introverted traits for sure, but his sensitivity to anger is fragile, especially when it comes to you. Joker doesn't have many qualms about taking a stand for you or himself if it came to it. He wants to be your protector, so he isn't very afraid to say something if he feels the need to. It can become quite the scene if the other party doesn't back down, making either you or someone else the mediator of the debacle. It's exhausting to have to manage your persistent follower, but it's better to handle a situation rather than let it spiral out of control, leaving the consequences of his mental break to you.
With his fragility also comes his keen eye for any chances to take advantage of a situation. Joker isn't very intimidating physically or feared for being calculating, but he is usually dismissed, and that makes for perfect cover if he plays his cards right. Framing people for his crimes can be a walk in the park depending on the situation, and manipulating those weaker than him isn't something he wholeheartedly takes pride in, but if it's for you, if it's for you, the singular most important person and one he adores most in his rotten life, then he's happy to oblige. If it wins you over in the end, then that's all that matters, right?
Joker will try to convince his darling to stay by his side and will get more desperate depending on the circumstances. He's not a kidnapper type, more of an idealist. Not to confuse that with delusional though. Joker knows full well how you probably feel about your strained relationship, but if he doesn't try now, he'll never get to be with you, and that's unacceptable. He wants to live a romantic and sweet life with you day in and day out, so he'd hate to see you miserable and locked up. If he can't love you the way he wants to, then what would be the point?
Even with that, Joker isn't above guilt tripping or petty manipulation tactics like that. He really can be unpredictable at times and can become very dangerous if his darling constantly shows no interest. Although he is a romantic idealist in his mind with you, he's also the type to slip into the "if I can't have you, no one can" mentality. He might just end up hurting his darling, but it won't be anything too drastic by the time it happens. Joker would feel terrible, terrified, and utterly disgusted with himself after seeing your petrified state. He'd drop to his knees and attempt to mutter consoling words, somewhat even begging for your forgiveness.
"Y- Y/n, no, oh no, no... Y/n, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please. Don't cry, I didn't mean to. I truly am sorry. I had just- I wasn't thinking straight. I would never hurt you. If only you hadn't done this, then... No, just come back to me Y/n."
He is still quite demanding even while apologizing, which would make your fear even greater. Joker doesn't want to force his darling's hand, but if it really came down to it, he'd give his darling a grade A verbally manipulative beat down. He'll use anything and everything against you so that all else but him looks ugly in that moment. Sure being at the receiving end of his unstable anger was horrifying, but be honest with yourself, were it not for him who has saved you countless times in both matches and inside the manor, you would be long dead by now. Anything is on the table, anything just so you will come back to him once more. He has little to no guilt in it, just the fear that he will seriously break if you're still in a right state of mind. So, in turn, he'll unfortunately have to break you first.
#yandere idv#yandere identity v#yandere weeping clown#yandere weepy#yandere joker#yandere idv x reader#yandere identity v x reader#yandere weeping clown x reader#yandere joker x reader#yandere weepy x reader#idv#identity v#idv x reader#identity v x reader#x reader#yandere#yandere blog#male yandere#yandere x reader#okay we r so back#wit idv aw yeah bby#the tag is so dead but call me evanescence bc#im bringing it back 2 life#i redownloaded it and im scared to play bc im rustier than a bad of pipes#but 4 weepy my luv#yes i will try him out ❤️❤️#im so into him#his voice actor did him so good#waiter waiter#MORE WEEPING CLOWN PLEASE!!!!
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[songs for women] anton x reader | 0.6k words drabble, musician!anton, best friends to ???, childhood friends au, implied college au, mutual pining note. a short lil thing i found from a few months ago in my drafts <3 wrote it for the beginning of fall. may turn this into a full length fic but i wanted to put this out for now bc i really like it.
now playing: songs for women by frank ocean
"don't even listen to the songs i record, but she be bangin' that drake in my car ... all damn day long, it's like she never heard of me, heard of me."
turning his key in the ignition, anton hears his car engine thrum as it comes alive. the fall air is warm and balmy and you’re sitting in the passenger seat, head propped on your hand as you gaze out the window.
“wanna roll it down?” anton’s soft voice coaxes you back to reality and you turn to look at him with a grin on your face, nodding excitedly. he smiles softly as he watches you turn the handle and let the fresh air into anton’s old four door sedan.
plugging the aux cord into the his phone, anton bumps your shoulder, handing you the glowing screen.
you gingerly take the phone out of his hands, fingers typing away in the search bar of his spotify app to queue a song.
turning towards the road, anton finally eases his foot onto the pedal, and the car’s wheels squeal slightly as he turns out of his driveway into the neighborhood’s winding roads.
the citrus colored leaves bring a fond smile to his face, and the breeze from your open window tickles his face and ruffles his hair.
old memories play through anton’s mind, flashes of long bike rides and pool days with you. you’re weaved into all of the moments he holds close to his heart, and he thinks it’ll always feel this way.
anton doesn’t think the jumps and twists in his stomach when he’s around you will ever fade. not when you smile so brightly at him, or laugh so prettily at his dumb jokes.
the two of you aren’t kids anymore, you’ve outgrown your bicycle helmets and kiddie pools. anton is an upcoming singer and you’re about to graduate college. but somehow whenever you end up in your hometown again, it’s like you’re teenagers again. you spend hours in the old coffee shop that was your favorite studying spot for finals, and you go to the same drive in ice cream parlor.
the song that you handpicked floods anton’s ears as his hand glides across the steering wheel. with a sigh and roll of his eyes, he looks over at you.
“park wonbin again? seriously?” you laugh at his dismay, fingers turning the dial to increase the volume. anton groans in response, his adam’s apple moving under the skin of his neck. your eyes catch it for a second, brain forming an unusually erotic thought at the sight. you’re brought back to earth by the sound of anton’s voice again.
“i’m starting to think you don’t listen to anything else.” tucking some hair behind your eyes, you grin at your best friend.
“what else do i need besides wonbin?”
“you know, other people would kill to be driven around by me, and you refuse to even listen to my songs.” it’s your turn to roll your eyes, but you do so with another cheerful laugh.
“someone’s gotta keep you humble.” you chide, shoving anton’s shoulder playfully.
as anton trains his focus back to the road, he looks over at you one more time, just for him. you’re laying your cheek against the car door and watching the trees pass. the wind sweeps your hair into something of a halo, and the setting sun makes you look like an angel glowing in the sky.
a familiar thought plagues the boy’s mind again. anton wonders if you’ll ever sit down and listen to some of his songs, like really listen to them. maybe one day you’ll see past the playful melodies and soft guitar and hear his songs for what they really are:
love letters to you.
#riize#riize imagines#riize x reader#anton lee#lee chanyoung#anton x reader#anton imagines#anton lee x reader#riize fluff#anton fluff#chanyoung x reader#anton#riize anton#riize fics#anton fic#anton lee fic#riize fic recs
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ᝰ RII7E AND HOW THEY ACT WHEN THEY’RE JEALOUS
PAIRING: riize x reader
GENRE: fluff, maybe angst if u really squint and tilt ur head and turn ur phone to the side
WARNINGS: none that i can think of
ᥫ᭡ SHOTARO
— stop because I genuinely believe shotaro wouldn't care. but like definitely not in a bad way! he just seems like the type to be so reassured in your relationship. he knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him and vise versa. if he spots someone flirting with you, he would honestly just find it amusing. because can he really blame them? look at you! he would sit back and watch the scene unfold. I feel like he also wouldn't have an issue sharing you with his members either. like I feel like the boys would go to you for advice and would love having you around and he would love that! he only ever draws the line whenever he's trying to get some alone time with you and his members keep butting in. he wouldn't be super jealous, but he would more so be annoyed with maybe just a tad bit hint of jealousy. I can see him getting up from his spot and rolling his eyes before pushing away his members. he would shake his head at them before mumbling, "go away! my yn, it's my turn." as he shuts the door on their faces. he would turn back to you and let out a big sigh of relief with a playful smile on his face.
ᥫ᭡ EUNSEOK
— guys, eunseok to me seems like the type that gets jealous but is in complete denial about it. he teases you whenever YOU get jealous so he cannot show you that he gets jealous. bc he doesn't get jealous! fr fr! like pft him? eunseok jealous? no way! or at least that's what he keeps telling himself. but god whenever he sees someone is standing a little too close to you for his liking he swears he feels his eye twitch. and you keep smiling at them. why are you smiling? and did you just laugh? why are you laughing? so many thoughts would raise eunseok's head but he would shake them away and tightly grip on to whatever item he was currently holding. you would then spot him, run up to him, and place your arms around him but he would shake you off. he would mumble something along the lines of "go back to your little boyfriend" and you would immediately smirk at his words. seeing your smirk, he would quickly shake his head at you. he's not jealous! he doesn't get jealous! he really doesn't!!
ᥫ᭡ SUNGCHAN
— oh mf doesn't hide it nor does he try to. he trusts you 100% but he doesn't trust others. he seems like the type to never leave you alone in a gathering but if he has to, he would make it so quick. if he has to leave you and he sees someone else talking you up, he would glare at the other person from across the room and quickly come back to you. he would instantly place his hands on your waist and bring you closer to him. he would without a doubt insert himself in y'alls conversation as well. fake laughing along before sending the other person a tight lipped smile before asking, "what are we laughing at?" he makes sure everyone knows that you two are dating. oh and he would definitely kiss you in front of the person that was flirting with you. kinda in a way to tell them to back off without verbally saying it. but if he has to verbally say it, he definitely will. don't test my man. and please, he acts the exact same when you're talking to his members. he simply just doesn't want to share you.
ᥫ᭡ WONBIN
— ... I feel like there's two sides of jealous wonbin. on one hand, he seems like the silent jealous type. like as soon as he sees someone flirting with you, you best believe he's huffing and puffing. he would scoff at the sight and would clench his jaw as he would see the person continue to try and flirt with you but he wouldn't do anything about it. he would just silently stare daggers at them. and on the other hand, he "jokingly" acts like he's jealous but in reality, he's not joking. this side of him only ever comes out when you two are hanging out with his members though. like he always, and I mean always, has to have an arm, a hand or literally be around you when you two are hanging out with the boys. the boys would try and have a conversation with you and there wonbin was placing a quick kiss on your cheek causing you to revert your focus back to him. and that's why he does it. because he doesn't want you focusing too much on them.
ᥫ᭡ SEUNGHAN
— seunghan seems like the jealous type but the type that doesn't get jealous easily you know? he's the type to not care too much when someone is flirting with you but god when he sees you spending a little too much time with one of your friends that's where he draws the line. you two would be on the couch and then you mumble something about having to leave soon to go meet your friend. and seunghan would not be for it at all. he's immediately pouting and shaking his head. and instead of letting you go and telling you to be safe, like any other normal person would, seunghan hugs your figure tightly and places a leg over you to stop you from leaving him. when you giggle and tell him to let go, he immediately says no and continues pouting at you. "wouldn't you rather spend more time with your amazing, awesome, handsome boyfriend?" he would ask, offering you his best puppy dog eyes causing you to giggle and realize what was going on.
ᥫ᭡ SOHEE
— god sohee would get jealous but literally just the pouty jealous kind. he wouldn't know how to act or react to someone flirting with you. he wouldn't know what to say when he feels like you've been hanging out with your one of your friends a bit more either. he would literally just pout. he would be so pouty and often times would overthink things which would cause him to get a tiny bit insecure. all sohee ever wants to do is please you so if he sees someone else flirting with you or if he feels like you're spending more time with one of your friends he would simply sulk. and you knew of this too. so whenever you would see him pouting, you would immediately go up to him and place your lips against his while mumbling a soft "I love you." a wide smile would quickly replace his pout and he would instantly kiss you back before mumbling an "I love you more" and just like that all his worries and insecurities would quickly vanish.
ᥫ᭡ ANTON
— anton gets jealous over the little things but here's the catch, he doesn't actually realize he's jealous until he finds himself catching an attitude about it. you two would be hanging out with his members and he would see you getting a little too close to sohee and anton would immediately start losing it. he would act like if he didn't care but as soon as sohee is standing near him, he would purposely bump into him and offer him a lame ass "sorry" before continuing to walk to god knows where. he also seems like the type that would just completely shut down. the boys would try and get a conversation out of him but anton could quite frankly not care less. it wouldn't be until you would see him actively avoiding the members that you would go up to him and he would mumble out a quick, "what? is sohee busy now?" when you finally catch on to his jealousy, you would playfully ask if he's jealous. laughing you would wait for him to deny it but would be in complete shock when he shyly nods while avoiding your eye contact. ironic that he's tall because at that very moment he would feel so tiny and vulnerable. and silly, god he would feel so silly.
#riize imagine#riize masterlist#riize angst#riize fluff#riize x reader#riize imagines#riize scenarios#shotaro imagine#eunseok imagine#sungchan imagine#wonbin imagine#seunghan imagine#sohee imagine#anton imagine
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the boy is mine | k.mg
pet play w mingyu
pairing: kim mingyu x reader, reader’s best friend is yuqi! ((g)i-dle) also cheol lol
wc: 5597 (can you believe i cut it down?)
genre: strangers -> fucking, smut, little cracky at some parts
synopsis: when one of your best friends (who also happens to be a frat bro), seungcheol, invites you to his halloween party, you hesitantly accept. you were never really the party type… but one guy, one of his new friends to be exact, might single handedly change that.
!other kinktober fics!
a/n: ......heyyyyy... no one hate me. i know im almost a whole month late ): prepping for the svt concert took more time than i anticipated, i live in america so... yeah all that happened, work got in the way, i had a lot of yap days with my wife @jenoslutie which has been so nice!! <3 and i JUST (literally today) got back from visiting my bestie @goblynnrockz for their birthday :p BUT in between all that, i managed to finish this bitch. (pun intended) ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, i really hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. and if it seems like its eluding to there being a potential relationship between mc and gyu, well... maybe there will be in the future ;p
(P.S. you must picture long, wavy haired mingyu in this :3 more like the pic on the right. i just put the lolla pic bc it fits the vibe you CANNOT argue w that lol okay imma stop yapping now. ENJOY LUVLIES!!!!)
you weren’t the party type, but when one of your best friends, seungcheol, invited you to his frat’s halloween party with a nearly quivering bottom lip, you couldn’t say no.
“you have to let me bring whoever i want as my plus one.” you deadpanned while crossing your arms.
“so you’ll go?!” he nearly squealed.
you sighed before nodding with an annoyed, “yes.”
“fuck yeah!” he yelled before swooping you up in a big hug. you couldn’t help the laughter that erupted from your chest.
you loved when cheol got all giddy. it was such a silly contrast to his wide, strong build, and that’s always been so enduring yet hilarious to you. you didn’t think anyone else like him existed in real life.
until you met him.
“remind me again why you are dragging me to a party?” your best friend, yuqi, chuckled out from the passenger’s seat of your car.
you took the last right before reaching the house. “cheol asked nicely and… i’ve been needing an excuse to wear these boots,” you smiled, looking for a parking spot.
yuqi silently pointed to a spot on the street, and as you parked, she went on. “i just can’t help but wonder why cheol wanted you to go so bad like… he knows you’re not a partier.”
“he wants me to get out of my shell more.” you shrugged, getting out of the car.
“well you’re definitely out of your shell, fucking look at you. a full latex outfit and tits out? girl…” yuqi gawked at you for a moment.
dressing as blackcat was far out of your costume comfort zone. normally you went the horror route. billy the puppet, jennifer check (in the prom dress with the contacts, blood and all), freddy krueger, etc. so, wearing a latex set that left nothing to the imagination except for any ink you may have on your skin was out of character, but you wanted to spice it up this year.
“i think the little mask helps be feel a bit hidden,” you giggled seen as it’s a thin black eye mask, not hiding who is under it at all. yuqi jokingly scoffed and you then took the attention off yourself. “look at you, catwoman. you look devious with that whip,” you cooed, then took her hand in yours and gave her a spin on the sidewalk.
“oh stop it,” she blushed. “let’s get inside before it starts getting too crazy.”
you two walked in practically attached at the hip. you scanned the front room for cheol, yuqi doing the same. “ah! there he is,” she pointed toward the kitchen.
you looked over, immediately making eye contact with him. he waved you guys over to stand with him and some frat bro you didn’t recognize.
“y/n!” he greeted you with a bear hug, unfazed by your tits practically spilling from your top. “and yuqi! hey long time no see!” he said sweetly, giving her a side hug.
“hi! it’s good to see you, cheol,” she giggled.
“are you gonna introduce us?” you motioned to his friend beside him and smiled.
the friend smiled and reached a hand out, “hey, i’m chan! nice to meet you both.” after shaking both of your hands, a warm smile across his face, he turned around to finish concocting a drink for himself.
“you know we have a spare room. if you guys want, you can have some drinks! chan makes a mean lemon drop.” cheol offered you both.
yuqi got a devilish smile on her face, “don’t mind if i do, fred. one lemon drop, please, daphne!” she giggled leaning backwards on the counter next to chan, watching what he was doing over her shoulder. she faced forward after a moment and motioned her head toward you. “what about you miss latex?” she smirked giving you a once over. the girl wasn’t even drinking yet and she was already getting flirty. typical. (<3)
“don’t even let her answer that,” seungcheol quickly intervened. “make blackcat a drink, please. the pretty lady deserves it,” he grinned, wrapping an arm around you.
“well thank you, cheolie… but deserve it? for what?” you asked cutely, looking up at him.
“putting up with my bitchass. thank you for coming tonight. i’m glad you did,” he stated sweetly, giving you a kiss atop your head. you just leaned into him, silently telling him “you’re welcome” and “me too”.
“what’s up?” you look over at chan who’s finishing your drink up, and he’s got his phone between his ear and shoulder. “oh shit okay! we’ll be right out!” he hung up, sliding the phone in his pocket, then turned around handing you your drink. “pretty lady,” he smiled. “cheol lets go. that was vernon, they’re outside.” he said, patting cheol on the shoulder, making his way out of the kitchen hurriedly.
“okay! you two wait right here, i’ll be back.” seungcheol requested, then ran after chan.
“oh god,” you walked forward to the counter and turned so your back was leaning on it with yuqi. you two looked out from the kitchen, into the crowd of people that had seemingly gotten significantly larger since you’d arrived minutes ago. “they’ve all gotta be members of the mystery inc huh…” you trailed off.
“i wonder what poor guy they got to be scooby,” yuqi empathized.
“i bet it’s soonyoung.”
“be so fucking for real, y/n. he’s a fucking tiger every year,” yuqi said pointedly. she was right.
just then, the room got significantly more quiet meaning- oh those boys and their group entrances…
it was never anything elaborate, but they did have to make their presence known. cheol almost always walking in first as the rest of the boys followed.
you and yuqi made your way out of the kitchen to the living room, disregarding cheol’s words from earlier. you two managed to push toward the front of the swarm of people that were gathered near the door. shouts then could be heard from all over, praising the commitment of all the boys. first was cheol as fred, then chan as daphne walking alongside wonwoo as velma, and last but not least vernon as shaggy with… not soonyoung as scooby. “who the fuck is that?” you nearly drooled leaning over into yuqi’s ear.
“wonwoo?” she suggested.
“no, dumbass, obviously i know wonwoo… who’s scooby?” your voice dropping a cool octave or two in curiosity.
“i don’t know but… fuck is he fine,” she said bluntly.
you both had your eyes locked on him until yuqi’s gaze redirected to wonwoo… her main interest right now and always. “if you’ll excuse me,” she hummed, grazing a hand across your shoulder and handing you her whip as she strolled forward toward the tall boy wearing thicker framed glasses than normal.
you made your way back to the kitchen to wait for one of your friends to come back, knowing one of them would find their way to you.
or so you thought.
someone did definitely make their way to you, but it wasn’t cheol, yuqi, or even chan.
“i didn’t know blackcat carried around a whip,” scooby shot you a cheeky smile while reaching beside you on the counter for a drink.
you smiled, leaning your hip on the counter to face him. “she doesn’t, but cat woman does and she needed me to hold it for her.”
“well… i’m glad she needed you to because it gave me an excuse to talk to you.” you both chuckled, your face getting flushed. he turned, mirroring your position against the counter. “i’m mingyu. i just joined the frat,” he explained rather shy in comparison to his confident demeanor that he approached you with. it was charming.
“well hello mingyu,” you chuckled, chugging the rest of your lemon drop. “i’m y/n. i’m friends with cheol.”
“oh no way! you’re like… his best friend,” he laughs trying his drink. you giggled watching his face contort at the potency of the alcohol. “hey don’t laugh! bleh! but it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“it’s nice to meet you too,” you covered your mouth to snicker a bit more as if that makes it any less “mean”.
once he recovered a moment later, he sat his cup down and spoke up again. “you know, y/n, you make a beautiful blackcat,” he complimented, giving you a once over as respectfully as he could. from the minute he laid eyes on you when yuqi had walked way from you, he knew he had to talk to you. your little whip that didn’t go with your costume was his perfect excuse, and… you looked amazing. that could’ve even been enough of an excuse on its own.
your cheeks grew warm at the compliment with his demeanor and tone. it’d shifted to something more sensual than before. his eyes getting darker, but still soft.
“thank you,” you smiled before reaching up to play with one of his ears. “and you make an adorable puppy.”
his body stiffened, but it was so subtle you almost didn’t notice. you chose to ignore it, moving to his collar. “did minghao make this?” you asked, tilting your head admiring the well recreated scooby dog tag. you pulled on it a little, as if to test its durability, but really you wanted to see if this was doing something to the tall man before you. sure enough, you watched as he swallowed rather hard under your touch. you wouldn’t have noticed had you not been staring at his throat already.
“y-yeah he did. he’s really talented,” he said softly, slightly tilting his head back as you took your finger from the collar, and slowly traced it down his chest that was only covered by a thin, tight brown t-shirt.
“what’s the matter, scooby? cat got your tongue?” you asked in a very playful way, not wanting to come off too strong too fast as you were already mere centimeters away from his body now.
when he looked down at you, his eyes were pleading. desperate. like he was silently begging for you to do something more. he couldn’t find the words to answer your silly question. instead he sent his eyes to scan your face, lingering longer over your lips.
“gyu!” you both jumped back from each other. up pranced soonyoung, but he wasn’t a tiger. “and y/n? hey!” he gave you a hug and you squeezed him back.
“hey soonyoung!” you gathered your composure far quicker than mingyu who was still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened. “a cowboy this year?” you motioned your hands to his costume.
“had to change it up,” he shrugged. “still got my date, though,” he grinned. you knew it was the stupid plastic skeleton he dragged along every year in the spirit of the holiday.
“well, wherever you set her down, i can imagine she goes way better with this outfit than the tiger onesie,” you both laugh.
“girl… a whip? i don’t think blackcat-“
“shutup, i know. it’s yuqi’s. she’s catwoman.” you deadpanned.
he put his hands up as if to surrender, “got it, no need to use it on me.” you two laughed together again.
mingyu wasn’t enjoying this conversation like you and soonyoung were, however.
he gently grabbed your wrist while patting soonyoung on the shoulder. “excuse us,” were the first words to come out of his mouth in the past couple minutes. it came out low and demanding, an extreme contrast from the state you had him in before soonyoung showed up.
you looked at soonyoung then shrugged your shoulders in confusion and blew him a quick kiss, whip in hand as mingyu pulled you away. “have fun!” he yelled after you both.
“mingyu, where the fuck are we going?” you finally ask as he's pulling you up the stairs.
“my room,” he states bluntly.
“your room? why didn’t you just get ready here then?” your genuine curiosity taking over.
mingyu stopped you both in front of his door. “except for cheol and chan, we all got ready at vernon’s,” he answered very matter of fact, then his eyebrows furrowed remembering what he was doing.
he opened his door, pulling you in with him. once he closed the door, he grabbed you and pushed you against it, hands cupping your face, instantly attacking your lips with his own. your hand naturally found its way to his long, wavy hair while your other rested on his chest. you slightly tugged at his hair, a groan escaping his lips. you smiled and chuckled against his mouth, knowing exactly how this was gonna end, despite his attempts at taking control of the situation.
he ignored your cockiness, moving a hand to the zipper of your top, toying with it just to be a dick. after about 10 seconds of that, you decided it was enough.
“why don’t you be a good puppy and unzip me already,” you pull on his hair hard enough to pull him away this time. his eyes desperately searched yours, not understanding, himself, why every time you called him that, it made him feel weak in his knees.
“o-okay,” he stuttered before unzipping your top the rest of the way. his mouth hung open at the way your tits broke free from the tight latex. “god..” he whispered. eyes still locked on your chest, he tried to speak, “c-can i please-”
“yes,” you breathed, not letting him finish his sentence, knowing exactly what he wanted.
mingyu wasted no time, latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, desperately sucking on the skin as if his life depended on it. a low groan escaped your lips as you finally dropped the whip on the floor, and moved that hand to his back, lightly scratching at him through the thin fabric of his shirt. he moaned against your chest, sending a chill down your spine.
“on your knees,” you demanded. he pulled away from your chest with a rather puzzled expression on his face. “don’t make me say it again,” and with that, he practically dropped to the floor, looking up at you with the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen. “good boy,” you praised, petting his head between his ears. you walked over to his bed, sitting yourself down at the edge of it.
“come,” you said gently. mingyu started to stand up. “nuh uh,” you stopped him. “on all fours.”
“i- but i-,” he tried to protest, stumbling over his words.
“crawl. or i’ll walk out that door right now,” you threatened.
he immediately got back on his knees, then bent forward, using his arms to help him crawl over to you. he didn’t break eye contact as he made his way to where you sat on his bed, your legs slightly opened. you leaned down, reaching in between your legs for his collar. you hooked two fingers underneath it and pulled him forward. he wrapped his arms around your waist, knees still planted on the floor as he looked at you longingly.
“what a good puppy,” you cooed, moving your hand from his collar to his hair along with your other hand. you petted him right next to his ears on either side of his head. he hummed, tilting his head to the side, you moving your hand so he could rest his face on it. you thought this was just gonna be a typical dom/sub dynamic, but you quickly started realizing that it was far more than that.
you leaned down giving him a soft kiss to his lips, making him crave more. he moved his hands up to your face, pulling you back down. you both hungrily attacked each others lips, breathing in every bit of the other. “what the fuck are you doing to me,” he growled between kisses. to be quite honest, you had no idea either. you didn’t even know this man, really.
“get on the bed,” you demanded, out of breath. he mumbled, “okay,” then stood up and sat in the middle of his bed. “lay down, obviously,” you deadpanned. he felt like an idiot as he laid himself down. he watched you with big eyes as you crawled up his body. you sat yourself on top of him and reached to hook your fingers under his collar again. you used it to pull him up to your level.
“take your stupid shirt off.” he fumbled with the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. you ripped it from his hands and threw it across the room to god knows where. you pushed him back down, diving after his neck with your mouth. his back arched slightly from the bed as a whimper escaped his lips. as your teeth sunk into his skin, beginning to suck, his chest pressed against yours.
he knew it wasn’t physically possible for him to get closer to your body, but he could try. he was desperate. he craved your warmth. he craved you. a complete stranger. “y/n, please,” he whined.
“please what?” you whispered into his ear, then proceeded to kiss down his neck to his chest. all he could do was make pathetic little noises in response. “cmon, use your words like a good boy, huh?” you cooed looking up at him. you traced your fingers over his large pecs sending chills through his whole body.
“f-fuck,” he threw his head back into the pillow. “fuck me, y/n, please!” he panted, grabbing at the sheets beneath him.
“you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” you teased as you slipped a hand under his pants, grabbing him through his boxers. you couldn’t help the sigh that escaped your mouth when you felt how big he was. he looked down at you with flushed cheeks, embarrassed at how easily he was being turned on by your words alone.
“i- i would love that, y/n,” his eyes were so desperate, so needy. “c-can i take my pants off?” god, he was so obedient. it excited you beyond your own comprehension. before you could even think about it, you hooked your fingers under the waistband of his pants and started shimmying them down his thick, muscular thighs.
“fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. the tent in his boxers was intimidating to say the least. you sat on his thighs as you pulled his cock out, admiring the way it grew even more at your direct touch. mingyu was panting like a bitch underneath you and you hadn't even started stroking him yet. “easy there, big boy,” you giggled at his uneasiness. as you started pumping him with one hand, you used the other to stabilize yourself above him.
a deep groan ripped from his throat as he screwed his eyes shut at the sensation. “does that feel good, puppy?” you asked innocently. mingyu whimpered and looked into your eyes again, mere inches away. he used all his extra strength to push his head up to capture your lips with his. this kiss was far deeper than the others. it felt… more intimate than before.
“please y/n i need you,” he whispered against your lips. honestly, you needed him too, so instead of continuing the torture any longer, you got off the bed to remove your top completely, and took your pants off. before getting back on top of him, you pulled his pants the rest of the way down, then stood at the edge of the bed, gawking.
this man’s body was godly. skin the perfect shade of gold, soft muscle curves, the slight glisten on his skin as the moonlight from the window reflects off of his sweat. and his face… fuck, his face. the way his eyes glisten with lust and need, his lips swollen and slightly parted as he’s nearly drooling, waiting for you to do something, and to top it all off, his puppy ears on his head with the collar on his neck making him all the more irresistible.
you climbed back on top of him, his eyes not leaving yours, whether you were looking back at him or not. he only looked away when you started grinding your soaked cunt against his cock. he watched intensely as your slick coated him from top to bottom, his tip leaking precum each time you slid forward. “ready for me to fuck you, gyu?” you nearly whined out, your hands firmly placed on his chest to balance yourself.
“b-been ready, mo-” he stopped himself. “fuuuck please, y/n, please.” he begged.
“what a good fucking boy you are. don’t even have to ask you to beg.” you lifted yourself, and as if there was a form of telepathy happening, he reached down to lift his cock straight up, ready for you to do nothing but line yourself up and sink down in him. however… you both knew that was going to be painful for you. your nails began to dig lightly into his chest as you slowly sunk yourself down on him. a long string of whimpers falling from your lips while he gripped your hips, helping you steady yourself as you now sat all the way down on his cock. you swiveled your hips a couple times before slowly lifting them and slamming back down onto him without warning. a gasp escaping your own lips.
“ah! Fuck!” mingyu cried out, throwing his head back into the pillows again. the grip he had on your hips only tightened.
you moved your hands to his neck, applying only slight pressure as you started moving up and down on his cock. his breathing became sporadic, and you could feel his veins on his neck starting to bulge under your fingers as you started to pick up your pace. “collar getting too tight?” you breathed.
“n-no,” mingyu choked out. “mmmph~ i like it,” his voice was hoarse, but soft. his hands finally moved from your hips to roam your body. he dragged them up your waist until he was cupping your tits. he started kneading the flesh, licking his lips as he watched your face start to contort with pleasure. you let go of his neck and put your hands on top of his, over your chest.
the scene was so beautiful before him, he was growing more and more impatient, needing to chase his high. you threw your head back crying out a “fuck!” as mingyu started meeting each bounce of yours with a sharp thrust.
“a-am i doing a good job?” he whined, “does it feel good?” all he wanted was your validation and praise.
“y-yes~ fuck- such a good boy for me,” you cooed as stable as possible. you brought a hand down and combed your fingers through his hair right below his puppy ears. his thrusts slowed and so did you. you hadn’t realized how much of the “fucking” was being done by him now instead of you. he hummed and closed his eyes while you ran your fingers through his hair again. both of your movements came to a complete stop. nothing but cockwarming and heavy breaths while you petted the pretty boy beneath you.
once he opened his eyes, you gave him a soft smile and he nestled his face into your hand. looking up at you with those puppy eyes, the next words that came out of his mouth were jarring to say the least. “w-will you sit on my face? please?” you could’ve sworn he batted his lashes too.
you giggled before teasing him, “are you seriously asking to pleasure me right now?”
“no im fucking begging, y/n please.” he whined.
“well, when you beg like such a good boy, how could i tell you no, hm?” you hummed before moving your hands to his headboard, climbing up his body, stabilizing yourself over his face.
he wasted no time trying to attack your core with his tongue, but you didn’t want to let him have it that easily. you moved a hand down to tug at his hair, pulling him off of you. “nuh uh. stick out your tongue,” you demanded.
“w-what?” his eyes were big with uncertainty.
“did i stutter? stick out your tongue and stay like a good puppy.” you spit at him, no patience left in your voice.
so, mingyu did just that. slowly but surely he opened his mouth wide, laying his tongue out for you like the good boy he was.
you lowered yourself back down onto his tongue, slowly moving your soaked cunt back and forth. he just looked up at you with such adoration in his eyes, but tongue out like an absolute idiot. it was driving you crazy.
mingyu was going arguably more crazy, though. he wanted to devour you. taste every single inch of you, and lap up every last drop of your arousal like there was no tomorrow.
you let out a whimper that drove him over the edge, and he couldn’t contain himself anymore. he brought his strong arms up, wrapping them around your thighs, locking you in place on his face. you gripped onto his bed frame tighter as he began to suck on your clit with such vigor, you almost came on the spot.
fuck he’s good at this.
he then started fucking his tongue in and out of you, using his own strength alone to bounce you up and down slightly on the muscle.
“mmph~ fuuuck~ mingyu please, don’t stop,” you pleaded, knuckles white from holding onto his headboard for dear life. who was he to deny you? he moved one of his hands from your thigh to the bundle of nerves above where his tongue was fucking in and out of you. as soon as he started rubbing gentle but fast circles on your clit, you knew you weren’t gonna last long. the familiar knot in your tummy forming far faster than you’d like to admit.
“p-puppy i’m c-close. gonna make me cum,” you half panted, half wailed.
he moved his mouth away to talk, fingers still working on your clit.
“cum for me please baby, cum all over my tongue,” his voice had dropped to a dangerously low tone. he went back to tongue fucking you and your grip on his headboard became so tight you thought you might break it.
“gyu! fuck! i’m- fuck!” a wave of pure euphoria flooded your whole body faster than you could comprehend. mingyu lapped up every last bit of cum dripping from your cunt.
“jesus christ,” you panted.
“okay y/n, all fours.”
“what?” you looked down at mingyu’s big brown eyes in complete shock.
“i- i’m sorry please can i fuck you on all fours?”
“mingyu i’m not worried about how you wanna fuck me-”
“then, please? can i? I’ve been a good boy…”
“you definitely have,” you reassured, moving a piece of his hair out of his face. “i just don’t know if i have the energy for that right now.”
“you don’t have to do anything, just- y/n just let me take care of you…” his voice was so soft and genuine. nothing like you were used to from a hookup.
“fine… then can i just lay on my back?” you both chuckled.
“whatever you want.”
once you guys repositioned yourselves, mingyu on top of you for the first time tonight, you couldn’t help but let your mind race. i could get used to this view… y/n stop it’s just a fucking hookup, you’ll only ever see him again in passing. but his voice… the way he’s speaking to me is so… sweet… so? he’s probably just fucking pussy whipped. and pussy whipped he was, but it wasn’t that simple.
“are you ready, baby?” his eyes scanning yours intently as if to catch any trace of uncertainty that may reside in your eyes.
“y-yes. at least i hope,” you giggled. a fangy smile gracing his face. fuck, his smile.
as mingyu started to push himself into you, you winced at the stretch. it was almost like he’d gotten bigger since you were on top of him earlier. “ah~ fuck gyu,” you whined.
“too much? do you want me to stop?”
“no, no please don’t stop,” you just gripped onto his arms and closed your eyes.
a couple seconds later and he finally bottomed out, causing both of you to let out a string of low moans as you both adjusted to the feeling of his rather fucking huge dick inside of you. (how else was i supposed to word that like c’mon now)
within a minute mingyu was drilling into you at an animalistic pace. the grip you had on his biceps probably close to breaking skin with your nails. your back arched at its limit. both of you sounding like you're in one of the most hardcore pornos ever filmed. the bed creaking, slamming into the wall… you get it.
the rest of the world had completely withered away at this point when suddenly…
BANG BANG BANG! “jesus christ, mingyu! that you in there?” seungcheol… fuck.
mingyu stilled all movement, “uhhh yeah… what do you want?” he dropped his head onto the pillow right next to your head. you couldn’t help but giggle.
“Sorry.. just uh… have you seen y/n?!” he yelled from the other side of the door. mingyu’s head shot up, both of you looking at each other with complete panic in your eyes.
“you could… you could say that i’ve seen her… yeah?” mingyu yelled back, wincing as he awaited his response.
when seuncheol didn’t answer right away, you decided to speak up. “hi cheol…” you said softly but loud enough for him to hear you.
“you’re fucking kidding,” seungcheol scoffed before walking away yelling, “you two fuckbirds have fun!”
you and mingyu just laid there for a second before bursting out laughing.
“okay that was embarrassing,” you covered your face.
“oh don’t act like you didn’t like it,” he grinned, leaning down to start kissing on your neck. “you think i can’t feel how much wetter you got?” he bucked his hips into you without warning, making you yelp. he just chuckled, lifting his head up to look at you again.
your mouth was hung open like an idiot, unsure of how to respond, actually embarrassed now.
“look who’s the tough guy now, huh?” he taunted, beginning to slowly pump in and out of you again. your eyes rolled back into your head and your hands reached for his hair. sensing that the puppy fun would be ending now, you tried to focus your vision enough to unclip the ears from his hair and throw them elsewhere in his room. “oh, are we done with those now?” he asked in such a bitchy tone, you could’ve slapped him back into his submissive state, but you were over the playing now.
“mingyu, just fuck me,” you panted now able to put your hands in his hair how you please.
“that’s no way to get what you want now, gorgeous.”
“mingyu, please just fuck me already!” you whined, wrapping your legs around his torso.
the groan that escaped his lips at that action was inhuman as he sped back up to his pace from before, however, far harder.
“fuck! Mingyu!” you cried out, unable to do or say anything else.
“what? wanted me to f-fuck you, no?” he teased, stopping to lift one of your legs over his shoulder, then removing your mask in one quick motion before pounding into you again. the new angle pushed you to your limit once again, far too fast for your own sanity. “let go for me again baby, i can feel it. you’re c-close aren’t you?” he cooed softly in contrast to his brutal movements. “touch yourself for me,” he breathed.
you moved a hand down to your clit, rubbing away at the bud while your other arm moved to his back, pulling his body closer to yours as you reached your high. the close proximity bringing his clingy self closer to his own breaking point.
now forehead to forehead, the knot in your stomach about to snap, you moved your other hand up to his back, fingertips lightly pressing into the skin. mingyu brought a hand to your neck, holding it gently, but firm as he railed into you for the last few times.
“-m cumming!” you cried, now digging your nails into his back.
“fuck!” he growled at the lovely sting of the scratches you were leaving. your cunt fluttering around his cock however was the final straw. “ah~ baby~” he groaned before crashing his lips into yours as his orgasm hit.
“so… you always have wipes conveniently available on your nightstand?” you giggled, curled up in his arms under his blankets.
“you know, it was actually pure luck,” he started. “cheol did a grocery run today and when he brought me my bag there were a couple of our toiletries and i was gonna go put them in the bathroom bu-”
“hey, gyu?” you looked up at him.
“yeah?”
“shhhhh…” you smiled, placing a soft kiss to his lips before laying your head back down on his chest.
he kissed the top of your head and whispered with a chuckle, “sorry. i talk too much.”
“uh uh just… sleepy,” you yawned.
how you two managed to tune out the party is beyond anyone’s guess. he didn’t have to run his fingers in your hair for a full minute before you knocked out, but he did anyway until he fell asleep himself.
tag list: @skzooluvr @jenoslutie @iluvhoshi @goblynnrockz @map0fthes0ul7 @unlikelysublimekryptonite @actuallynarii @glttrlix @ninigyuuu @starcandybby (i hope that was everyone! i feel like my list got messed up but hopefully it's right!)
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I am (not) sorry for showing this idea to the EPIC fandom,,
Timeloop A.U w/ Odysseus. Timeloop resets back to waking up to the Wind Bag opening every time Ody’ either dies or falls asleep after making it back home & after killing the Suitors bc hehe suffer short man 🤌🧍♂️.
so ye, obviously u got the usual Timeloop Angst + added trauma & all that,,,,, ye, ye, uh nu & also said Timeloop has ‘:3ly’ caused some lasting changes on Ody’ like more of his Demigod genes showing (+ added Demigod uncannyness hehehaha), scars of previous Loop wounds now appearing & staying on his body, body acclimating to have basically inhuman reflexes, strengh, all that Demigod jazz. Including: insane muscle memory.
Including the muscle memory of taking massive God Cock / Kinky Deity Stuff. Just- hear me out pls 😇
imagine, Ody’s’ currently on like, what??? The 997 Loop??? Kinda lost basically any and all previous remains of moral?, EXTREMELY FUCKING BORED- also kinda given up all hope of finding a way to break out of this living hell??? (So the usual stuff for timeloops). Now just trying to pass the now constantly resetting time??????? Has currently made it up to Thunderbringer & is feeling a bit less apathetic towards his crew plus just feels like switching things up from them dying again lol he’s very numb rn so:
decides he’s feeling for some ‘There Are Other Ways’ type activity (minus the attempted murder,,,, tho-), precedes to seduce Zeus n get whisked away to be bed, while crew is now being blown towards home, with a lot of shet 2 think about rn ggggfff but anyway & just when Zeus is smugly revealing his big ahh dick, he expects Ody’ to be wide eyed, maybe a bit horrified on “how is that suppose to fit????”, only to look down and. The mortal is just. Staring blankly (almost bored—) at his member, bc, he’s seen it before, taken it before, & at first, in those first few sexy encounter! Loops, it had been overwhelming, had felt rlly big & full inside of him,, but now???.
Ody’s’ body remembered the fullness, the stretch, the overstimulation, the ridiculous feeling of power radiating from it, matching who it belonged to hahaja- & now knew how to take it without nearly,,,,, any problem lmao.
it gets even more weird & a bit distressing 4 Zeus when he’s like ���oooooookay- ehemanyways- I can still work w/ this & get the usual reactions” n starts doing the usual (to Odysseus ‘routine’) preparation n teasing. Is barely started when Ody’ silently huffs, still very bored, reaches out and grabs Zeus’s cock, lifts himself up towards the King of Gods while smoothly positioning said wiener :) to be right under his hole, & before Zeus can get a word out due to mental buffering (knew this bitch had balls but what—), he slides down onto his dick in one swift motion.
this has also happened w/ Poseidon. W/ both of them in fact, in Loops before :333333.
cue, the literal-out-of-the-Loop(s) crisis from Zeus :D🫶🫶🫶. (one of the many to be expected from everyone lolo)
,,idk I jst want feral man baffling dem Gods, & in general:
turning up the Monstertm to. 16.
(technically) cannibalising Deities :3.
looking at his whole crew dying like 😐.
trolling crew w/ Demigod uncannyness. Especially in serious situations.
using said Demigodness to fuck around, explore, be free & feral :D.
beat the shit out of Calypso.
beat the shit out of sea monsters.
doing the crouching cryptid pose, freaky yellow glowing eyes & all :3.
more murder.
other morally fucked stuff idk yet <].
#shitpost#bullshit to keep me going ♾️✨#epic zeus#epic the musical#epic fandom#epic odysseus#epic poseidon#feral behaviour mentioned#Tw nsft#tw size difference#tw implied violence#tw implied death#zeusseus#odysseus x zeus#odysseus x poseidon#odyseidon#mentioned anyway#time loop#Feral! Odysseus#Feral Odysseus#Lmao I luv pulling the Timeloop A.U on my fav characters like#Yes please do suffer & become batshit insane#tw implied sex#thunderclap#salty#would put their poly ship names but. I don’t have enough room i think#Pure crack right here ha#Odysseus in the blender (suffer :)) AKA Timeloop A.U#Also technically#manwhore au
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hiii we still just need $25 urgently, because we are OUT of the medication which keeps us both off of feeding tubes and out of the hospital
We have a little bit of money left, but not enough for a refill.
$25 is the bare minimum we need; $40 would be ideal-- but we NEED to go get some TODAY, and 25 is an easier goal to meet. so we will take absolutely whatever we can get. Even if you've only got 5 or 10 to spare that gets us a LOT closer than we were a minute prior 💖
Please reblog 🙏 I know everyone is struggling more and more, and this time of year is always especially tight, but a mere 25 bucks can literally help save the lives of 2 trans people right now and I'm not joking. I really wish I was.
my bday is on nov 15th!! 🎉 it would be ideal not to have to beg for my life for my bday gift, but alas, my bf and I are two homeless, disabled transmascs who have been trying to get back on our feet for over a year. especially in the shadow of the us election, our futures are very uncertain, but we are resolved to live + stay Out no matter what happens. theyre stuck here with us, too >:)
our short term goal is just to get enough $ to pay for meds and the phone bill, maybe $150- just enough to survive the month. I have a rare disorder that doctors refuse to treat, and my med regimen is just barely keeping me off a feeding tube and is ofc not covered by insurance
I don't have much on my WL right now, but being able to manage my pain would be nice <3 we live on less than $3 per person per day, so a little goes a long way for us!!! even $5 or $10 makes a huge difference!
[ 🫐 paypal ] will go further but we also have [ cshpp🐛 ] 💖✌️
#me#was not gonna say anything but im kinda seething about kaijuno rn#big popular Tumblr user who has been 'about to be evicted next month' for over a year#and also just posted that she got an AI job she admittedly was unqualified for#so she has a job. working in ai. she is not about to be evicted.#and i kinda dont care about that. if you have to lie to get money you probably need it#but she HAS a fucking job and i dont#she HAS housing and i already lost mine#she got to keep her fucking cat. and her car. i didnt.#but i bet she gets hundreds in donos every month just bc her blog is so huge#meanwhile ppl are still whining about seeing Palestinians fundraisers 🙄#its just so gross that Palestinians and homeless ppl in america alike have to lay ourselves bare and be so humiliated to be believed#yet somehow someone with a job and a house can lie about being one of us for over a year a profit way more.#yeah it probably does get more donations to just say HELP IM ABOUT TO BE EVICTED both bc ppl relate more and bc it sounds more dire#when i take the time to type 10 paragraphs about what my rare disorder is. that loses people's attention unfortunately#idk im just cranky#20 bucks shouldn't be so hard to come by but i have to spend days fundraising for that#Palestinians trying to escape a warzone have to spend days raising that amount#and white housed tumblr users are over here exploiting the fear of that situation for financial gain they dont need any more than we do.#yeah that does actually bother me.#i really dont usually mind if homeless ppl lie to get money.#like you do not owe it to anyone to say how you spend your donations. other ppl cannot dictate that for you.#I care if youre lying *about being homeless* to get said money. thats disgusting. you are so fucked for doing that actually.#bc ppl scrutinize homeless ppl so hard and wanna micromanage us if we buy a juice instead of water or some shit.#lying about what the money is for -> dont care do ur thing#lying about why you need help and claiming youre more vulnerable than you are to get more help than you need -> actually asshole behavior#idk maybe that's very crabs in a bucket of me. you can have a job and still be poor. nobody MAKES me share true details i just choose to#i also dont think Palestinians or anyone else should feel compelled to share so many personal details about whats wrong to get help.#its humiliating and i think its smth that speaks loudly to the need of having to fundraise to survive at all.#and idk probably wouldn't have much crossover btwn her followers and mine so its not like shes taking donos *from* me personally
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The question of deleting fics is an interesting one. Ive definitely felt the impulse before, i have LOTS of ficlets and unfinished multi chapter fics that i absolutely despise bc they dont meet my current standards/employ tropes + characterizations that would now be pretty dated or even offensive -- but my parents were the type to tell me to save everything i made, because art was the only thing i was ever passionate about, so i could never muster the will power too.
Nowadays ive decided to lean into the fact that i have so many abandoned accounts -- even if a few have dissapeared for good by now (rip Quotev - that site was So formative in my writing life lmao), i like to imagine that there might be a handful of copies hanging out in a few scattered hard drives around the world, by anyone who did happen to enjoy them. Whether its materially true or not, the notion sits very well with me -- and serves as another reminder of how much of a wonderful thing internet anonymity can be. The chance that my stories, however silly, could be datamined off what will be considered old devices in the future, and will only be connected to some silly username like 'nyanslenderman' or 'tordkin'-- i think its almost heartwarming. Makes those stories stop feeling so cringey in hindsight, just as like.. another teeny tiny part of human history, which ill be a part of whether i want to be or not.
While i try not to /demand/ that people never delete fics or art, i wish people would consider that angle a little more... there's nothing wrong with something you wrote while inexperienced, or in a bad time of your life, being a part of your mark on the world -- especially if its hidden by a username instead of your real name. Its always a treat to see preserved children's schoolwork or passion projects, or an artist's earliest works + practice pieces, from decades to centuries ago -- so why would stuff from our generations be recieved any differently by our own descendants? Why not let it stay, for the chance of being remembered that way?
--
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Just some rambles about packers and sexualisation, idk where else to put it and idk if you care, so feel free to ignore me, haha.
A while ago, I saw a post (or video? Not sure) where someone said that "packers shouldn’t be sexual" when talking about realistic looking packers, and there’s two main things I want to talk about here.
First is that realistic looking packers just straight up aren’t sexual. No one would think a cis man walking around with a "realistic looking dick" in his pants is sexual, and it’s no different when the dick is made of silicone.
What pisses me off even more is the trans guys in the comments who were like "yeah I pack with a pair of socks I don’t need that shit" and similar sentiments because like. Good for you? But for some trans men just making it vaguely look like they have a dick isn’t enough. Some trans men do have very bad bottom dysphoria, and using realistic looking packers might help with that, and something like a pair of socks or a jock strap or a crocheted packer isn’t the same! The latter does work for some ofc, but not for everyone, and putting down the guys who want realistic looking packers is just shitty.
And also the disgust at packers that can get hard (like 3-in-1 or pack-and-play) is so fucking infuriating. No one would act like a cis man is sexualising all people around him just because he has a dick in his pants that can get hard, but when a trans man wants that? He’s a perverted piece of shit running around with a "dildo" (yes I saw people call pack-and-play packers that) in his pants.
How about we stop sexualising everything trans people do and stop acting like trans people are disgusting perverts just for wanting sex like most cis people do? How about we stop talking like that about people's genitals, wether they were born with them or chose to put them there (with packers or surgery, bc people say the same type of shit about phallo- or metoidioplasties (and vaginoplasties ofc), too)?
Why do we have to sensationalise every choice trans people make so much? It’s just a dick made of silicone. It looking realistic doesn’t make it sexual? Like. Most people aren’t even going to see it. It’s inside someone’s underwear. Why do some trans people care so much (negatively) about what makes other trans people happy?
And second: Who cares if it is sexual?? Who cares if a trans guy wants a realistic looking pack-and-play or 3-in-1 packer specifically so he can have sex with it? It’s not affecting any one else in any way. They don’t have to have sex with the guy if they don’t want to, they’re aware of that, yes?
And the implied assumption that a trans person is more likely to harass or assault someone is just straight-up transphobic, no matter what is used a "justification" or reason (here being that the guy chose to put on a realistic looking silicone dick that’s capable of penetration).
It’s just some guy. Some guys have dicks. Some guys dicks can get hard. It’s not that deep (insert sex joke here/lh).
Like just. Idk. I wish people would just shut up about other people’s bodies, especially trans people’s bodies, and stop judging trans people for the way they deal with dysphoria or the way they want their body to be. It shouldn’t be that hard to just not do something. But ig people just want to find a kind of trans people it’s okay to accuse of being predators and perverts and packers (esp. packers that can be used for penetration) are an easy target.
It’s just so tiring. I just want to find some guys talking about packing and stuff like that and I immediately have people calling them disgusting rapist-perverts who are sexualising themselves and everything they look at. Just because they want dicks. Or because they want to be able to penetrate someone (oh the horror. Some trans people (want to) have sex, and some may experience dysphoria around sex. We should kill them, right?)
I don’t even want to pack myself. I just like knowing things. But everytime I research personal experiences with packing, I find shit like this and it’d getting on my nerves.
Okay I’m done now. It got a bit longer than anticipated, I’m a bit worked up about this topic. Thank you for reading all this, hope you have a good day.
If it helps any anon, I feel the same way about needing breasts that cartoonishly massive to ease my dysphoria but that's a much bigger problem for me than it is for any of the cis women who have famously gotten breasts that large.
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MOODBOARDS ✘ STEVE HARRINGTON + SWIM ATHLETE
"Unless one of you three can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, then…" | Stranger Things S04E06 — The Dive
#steve harrington#steveharringtonedit#dailysteveharrington#stranger things#strangerthingsedit#tvstrangerthings#harringtondaily#joe keery#joekeeryedit#mine: moodboards#was making a moodboard of my fic#which includes steve + swim practice#but then i just couldn't resist making this#bc it just makes me feel some type of way#we were robbed i tell u#watch me include swimmer!steve in all my fics lmao
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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LSTR-S2301 and the maintenance tunnel ARAR are best friends to me even though that Elster was only on sierpinski for a seemingly brief time, they’re bros who fuck around on the clock during work. I think Elster was probably more willing to put extra time in however she’s also very “okay you’ve given me a list of tasks I did them. They’re done and done well. That’s it, my time now.” Whereas I see Ara being more of a slacker (very valid of her) or at the very least just a bare minimum type of gal when it comes to work.
Idk I tend to imagine them fucking off in the middle of shifts to go find weird lonely corners of sierpinski to hang out in. They don’t even talk half the time but they love it.
#listen I know sierpinski Elster has Alina as her lover#I don’t necessarily see Elster/ara as romantic although it could be#they’re just tired work bros to me#u have machine autism and plant autism and they’re both silent types I think they’d click#I’ve seen some fun takes on Lilith and Elster as characters too#to me Lilith Itou is definitely the strong silent type but not bc she always means to be#yes she is an intimidating war veteran but I think part of that intimidation factor comes from her being awkward as hell when it comes#to talking#combo of awkward/ just being a woman of few words anyway#which comes through in LSTRs I think#they don’t say much when they don’t feel that they need to ig#anyway idk if this makes sense I’m just rambling#I was also just trying to think abt LSTR-S2301 bc poor thing#imagine being your own individual replika but you’re brought to this place as basically a sacrificial lamb? of sorts#in that you as you are. it’s not what you need to be for a god’s purpose#but it’s close enough that the parts that aren’t needed can be stripped away#and filled again#she was only ever meant to be a vessel for 512 in many ways#but she was still S2301 and had her own life and friends for a brief moment in time#signalis#this isn’t worded well but gets the tag regardless#I should make a rambles tag separate from my personal tag maybe#lynx rambles#<- new tag ig
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much ‘this character is dead and that’s it’ stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ‘dying’ really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist he’s alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesn’t have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when he’s alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#he’s dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or she’s left him (metaphorical death) and he’s haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i haven’t mentioned touga bc i don’t have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when he’s alive. his illusory self is based upon anthy’s love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoever’s memories of him before he died……. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldn’t do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo he’s dead all along but that’s not what her arc is#it’s not ‘he’s been dead all along’ literally or figuratively. it’s ‘he’s unsafe and i don’t want him’#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and touga’s dynamic through touga’s eyes#it’s so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but they’re interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didn’t have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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I'M HEREEEE!!!!! thank you @miyameowru and @mrsokkotsu and @storiesoflilies and @cloudwisp for tagging me i love you all sooosoo much<333333 THIS WAS SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OIKAWA MY DARLING BOYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEEING THAT MADE ME SO SO HAPPY ACTUALLY WAHH I MISS HIM SM<3333333 AND THEN TENGEN AND CHUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHH I LOVE THEMM!!!!!!
AND THEN OFC MY OWN PERSONAL TEDDY BEARR and kuna and bakugo😭😭😭 i can't believe that he and sukuna are the same lmao that's so funny. aaaaaaand then we have suguru and fyodor💀💀💀💀no comment there. i think fyodor would despise me actually and suguru is a lil yandere so idk what that says abt our perfect little relationship.
OK AND FINALLY SATORU AND DAZAIII WHAT DO YOU MEANN ONLY 85% THEY ARE MY LITTLE MEOW MEOWSS THEY SHOULD BE HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOWWW RRRRAAHHHHHH
no pressure tags: @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @gothsuguru @staryukis @mossmotif @lxnarphase @kisstoru @ohimsummer @tirasamu @osarina @mizzfizz @sleepymarimo @hayakawalove @nappingmoon @spookuna @forest-hashira @madaqueue <33333
#ALSO FEEL FREE TO JUST MAKE YOUR OWN POST BC MINE GOT SO LONG YK#you don't have to rb this one if you don't want to!!!!!!#i just had to post them all lmao#i'm sorry the fyodor one is cracking me up a little#with suguru ok i get the 92#but with fedya???#sahdhgsadhgsahgdhagsda#i feel like he'd rather actually gut me alive than to be anything with me#AND THAT'S FINE BTW#i want him he doesn't want me some things are meant to be and some are not#hgadshgsahgdshgdhgsahgdas#OKAY BUT OIKAWA MY BABY BOYYY#OH I WOULD CODDLE THE FUCK OUT OF HIM#WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ILOVE HIM SM#MY LOSER BF<33333333333333#i was also now trying to figure out like what IS my type then..#and i think freaks is quite literally the best way to put it#chuuya is the most normal one out of them but he has his moments anyway#and bakugo#wait but#i think i could also call them all losers#asjhsahgdshagdhgsagh#OK OK I AM GETTING WAY TOO INTO THIS#THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME MY LOVES MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!!!!!#tag game#mayor of loserville
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i would actually love to hear your thoughts on when layton would emote the ways you've drawn him! if you want! no pressure if not!
OH B OY HERE WE GO!!!!! again take everything with a grain of salt bc i Forgor bits of the series
BLANKET SPOILER FOR UNWOUND FUTURE/MIRACLE MASK MAYBE??/AZRAN LEGACY
(for reference we are talking abt this post)
SURPRISE: As we know in the PL series, it's very very hard to catch the professor off-guard in any way. Most of the things you would think would surprise him, he's already known for a long time and was just keeping quiet about it so that he could use that information at the right time.
With that being said, the times where he does seem to get somewhat surprised (or taken aback. he's so goddamn emotionally constipated) seem to be when the shocker in question has personal relation to him. Though in the series proper, none of the shocking personal factoids are ever presented in a way to make him jump. So theoretically, if any twists like Claire or Descole's reveal were presented much more aggressively, he might emote like how I've drawn him (though I kinda doubt it). Or just jumpscare him lmao
SADNESS: Obviously we know that Layton can feel sadness and cry, though even at the end of Unwound Future it's clear that he's still holding back with his crying. I'd wager that it's because he's out in public and around an impressionable individual (Luke) that he's not letting himself fully express his grief. After all, a true gentleman never makes a scene in public.
I'd say, if he were to cry like the way I've drawn him (that is, bawling his eyes out), it'd probably be at the end of UF when Luke leaves for America, and he'd have to be alone. And I mean completely alone. He'd be very careful about having anyone even remotely near him before he breaks down sobbing; he'd wait for Luke to go home, and wait a while to make sure that he hears no other footsteps around who could potentially walk in on him, before crying. And even then, he'd still repress it - trying to choke back sobs to make sure he isn't heard, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes and covering his eyes with his hand, the works. Because sadness/crying is weakness to him, and a true gentleman can never show weakness.
ANGER: Frankly, I feel like this is one of the emotions I've drawn that I actually could see him showing in the series proper. We've seen him in Unwound Future just barely holding back his anger at Clive when he endangered Flora/started wrecking havoc on London (obviously still restrained- yadda yadda yadda "true gentleman" blah blah blah).
To get him to unrestrain it, I'd say you would have to put a lot of people he cares about (particularly his wards - Luke and Flora would likely be excellent choices) in direct danger, as well as taunt him to a personal degree enough times. Because even the Professor has limits to how much mental strain he can take, and all limits can be broken. It's just a matter of pushing the right (or wrong!) buttons on him.
FEAR: This one's tough I think. As an adult who's seen a lot (including his own death), it's pretty hard to find something that would really scare him to that degree. Throughout the series the most he seems to show in terms of fear is either: a) surprise that he quickly recovers from, or b) the end of Unwound Future when he realizes that Claire can't stay with him.
I say that theoretically (and REALLY emphasize on the "theoretically"), you might be able to get him to emote the way I've drawn him... if you subject him to anything akin to his recently unrepressed memories of his childhood, and he's rendered helpless to do anything to help but watch. But like I said, only theoretically. I'd wager that he'd probably just be angry too.
LAUGHTER: ...I honestly have no good clue to how or when he'd emote like this. For him to laugh so heartily, he'd have to be in a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, which isn't often.
I'd say it'd be at a time where he's feeling very relieved, or elated (and they'd both have to be situations that connect to him personally too; outside events won't phase him). How he'd laugh to such an extent I'm not actually sure, BUT I could paint a bit of a scenario: It's the end of UF, but Claire could actually stay without dying, and she makes a sort of lighthearted joke in light of the events. Would he laugh wholeheartedly? I dunno. But judging on what we've seen of him, it's a maybe.
It's a shame we never get to see him emote so colourfully in the hexalogy proper, but as I've stated before in another long-winded half-legible ramble character analysis, he's SEVERELY repressing his emotions due to Claire's last words/"gentleman" values/positive reinforcements from his peers and environments for successfully hiding his emotions. Poor guy.
#mak talks smack#mak talks back#professor layton#hershel layton#character analysis#i guess.?#mostly just me yapping eternally while trying to make sure i'm actually understood#i was waiting until i had enough mental capacity to type this on my laptop so sorry for the wait anon#but this is the gist of what i think#ALSO I FEEL THE NEED TO ADD#I DO NOT HATE CLAIRE IN ANY WAY AT ALL!!!#she's just made some very unfortunate wording choices which have exacerbated his repression issues further :(#but like i said in the art post the laughing one i put in bc i felt bad. lmao#most of the emotions i've drawn were just fun exercises for me#realistically would he show half of them? probably not#but oh well#still it's fun to draw him feeling extremes#especially when his face is just :-) or :-|#limitations are the key to progress!!
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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yuta and suguru are my favorite jjk characters…i think i have a type
YOU DOOOOOOO YOU DO!!!!!!!! i’m also weak to men defined by their overwhelming devotion don’t worry anon 🫂🫂🫂 this is a safe space!!!!!
#can i interest you in some choso or gumi perhaps :3333#yuuta and sugu are for sure the most devoted tho ……#i take no criticism!!!!!!!!!#but like . yeah. yeahhhhh#men who are so devoted to you that it’s almost overwhelming at times….. bc their love is just. sososo heavy and so steady#it’s in everything they do#i think yuuta and sugu fall in love the same way a rock sinks into the ocean#like it’s just . this sea of devotion. that they’re stuck in. they love you so much!!!! and they want to show it so badly </3#they both strike me as the type to just. adore you soooo fervently. they just see you as Their Person yk :(((((#for sure in a possessive way sometimes BUT. also just. in the sense that you’re theirs to take care of!!!!!!#they want to take care of you they want to protect you…. they want to Love You#and i think that kind of devotion feels a little too heavy sometimes 😭😭 but they’re good at holding back for you#OKAY SORRY IM LOSING IT A LITTLE they make me very ill#ask tag ✩
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