#bc it just makes me feel some type of way
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~The Party & The After Party~
šā pairing: Paige x Azzi
šā rosieās note: why hello there..yes rosie wrote pazzi smut kill me this is the first and last okay itās not that much bc iām testing the waters, basically inspired by the song in the tile by the weeknd, happy reading lovelies š
šā themes: language, sexual content (public sex?), jealous p and az
šā taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @bueckersbitch @makethemhoesmad @imaginespazzi @ashortyluvsports @absolutelydreadful @elliesglock @azzibuckets @sierrale8ne @ldapper
The music pulses through the air, heavy and slow, pressing against Azziās skin like the heat of too many bodies packed into one space. Itās not really her sceneānever has beenābut Paige had convinced her to come, her voice coaxing, her fingers tracing slow, persuasive circles against Azziās wrist. Come with me, baby. Just for a little bit. I wanna show you off. She begged.
Azzi had rolled her eyes, but sheād come anyway. She always does.
Now, Paige is standing in front of her, still close enough that Azzi can feel the warmth of her body even through the buzz of the room. Paigeās fingers slip under the hem of Azziās top, just for a second, a quick brush against her skin before she pulls away.
āIāma go talk to Lyss and Dijonai,ā Paige says, leaning in so Azzi can hear her over the music. āIāll bring us back some drinks, kay?ā
Azzi nods, already missing the feeling of Paigeās body, the way she makes all of thisāthe lights, the noise, the peopleāeasier to deal with. Paigeās gaze flickers over her, something soft beneath the smirk she always wears.
āYou good?ā
Azzi huffs, nudging Paige with her elbow. āGo already.ā
Paige grins, her fingers grazing Azziās wrist one last time before she disappears into the crowd. Azzi exhales, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly hyperaware of how many people are around her, how many unfamiliar faces blur together under the neon glow.
She lets her eyes follow Paige for a moment, watching the way she movesāeasy, fluid, like she belongs here. Sheās already talking to her teammates, her hands gesturing as she laughs at something one of them said. Azzi lets herself relax. She can wait.
And thenā
āDidnāt take you for the type to come to these things.ā
The voice is smooth, edged with amusement, and when Azzi turns, thereās a woman standing too closeātall, brunette, unfamiliar.
Azzi straightens, her shoulders tensing before she can help it. āIām not.ā
The woman smiles. āThen why are you here all alone?ā
Azzi shifts her gaze, scanning the room for Paige. Sheās about to tell this girl that sheās not alone, that her girlfriend will be back any second, but when she finds Paige, sheās laughing.
With someone else.
A worker, by the looks of it. Some girl in a black T-shirt, grinning too hard at something Paige just showed her on her phone. And Paige is eating it up, laughing just as much, her head tilting back, her hand brushing against the workerās shoulder like itās nothing.
What the fuck?
Azziās stomach tightens, instinct curling in her chest, but she swallows it down before it can become anything sharp. Sheās not doing this. Not here.
So she breathes in. Exhales.
And then she turns back to the girl in front of her, schooling her expression into something lighter.
āYou never answered my question,ā the brunette says, tilting her head. āWhy are you here?ā
Azzi lifts a shoulder, gaze flickering down for just a second before she meets the girlās eyes again. āWhy are you?ā
The brunette smiles, slow and knowing, and extends her hand. āNameā Sophia. I play for the Aces.ā
Azzi takes her hand, brief and firm. āAzzi.ā
āI know,ā Sophia says, her grip lingering just a second too long before she lets go. āIāve seen you play.ā
Azzi hums, noncommittal, before letting her gaze slide past Sophiaās shoulder, back to where Paige isā
Watching.
Their eyes meet across the room, and Azzi can tell, instantly, that Paige has seen everything. The way Sophia leaned in just slightly. The way Azzi hadnāt immediately shut it down.
But instead of coming over, instead of pulling her usual hey, baby and wrapping an arm around Azziās waist, Paige smirks.
And then she pulls out her phone.
Azzi barely has time to process what that means before her own phone buzzes in her pocket. Her fingers hover over her phone as Sophia walks away to go get them drinks, her sneakers squeaking against the polished floor, disappearing into the crowd. Azzi exhaled slowly, the weight of the charade pressing against her chest. She glanced over to the other side of the room, where Paige was still leaning casually against the counter, her grin wide as the worker she was talking to laughed at something Azzi couldnāt hear. Paige didnāt look tense. Didnāt look bothered. Just relaxed, like she had the whole night ahead of her to charm whoever was in front of her.
But Azzi knew Paige better than that. The way Paige tilted her head ever so slightly, her eyes flickering back to Azzi even while she smiledāit wasnāt nothing. Paige was watching her. Testing her.
Azzi bit her lip and unlocked her phone.
Azzi couldnāt help the laugh that bubbled out of her chest this time. It was quick and soft, but it felt good. She slipped her phone back into her pocket just as Sophia reappeared, two drinks in hand and a bright smile plastered across her pale face.
āMiss me?ā Sophia asked, stepping closer and offering Azzi one of the glasses.
Azzi took it with a polite nod, her eyes flickering back to Paige one last time. Paige was watching again,no surprise, her head tilted, her expression unreadable except for the faint smirk playing on her lips.
Azzi met her gaze evenly, raising the glass just slightly in a silent toast before turning back to Sophia.
āNot for long,ā Azzi said smoothly, her voice steady as she let the weight of Paigeās stare roll off her shoulders. She took a sip of the drink and smiled at Sophia, keeping her expression just warm enough to keep the game going.
If Paige wanted to play games, Azzi could play too.
Sophia stepped in closer to Azzi, the faint scent of her perfume lingering in the space between them. Her voice dropped as she leaned toward Azziās ear, her hand brushing lightly against Azziās arm. āYāknow,ā Sophia murmured, āI donāt usually do this, butāā
Before she could finish, a firm tap on her shoulder interrupted the moment.
Sophia turned around, a touch of irritation flashing across her face as she asked, āYeah?ā
Standing there, towering over her by a good two inches, was Paige. The confidence in her stance and the sharpness in her eyes made it clear she wasnāt here for the bs. Paige didnāt say anything at firstājust raised her eyebrow before muttering, āExcuse me,ā and deliberately bumped past Sophia, sliding between her and Azzi.
Her hand found Azziās waist like it was second nature, her fingers pressing possessively into the fabric of her shorts. She leaned in close, her voice low but teasing as she asked, āYou miss me?ā
Azzi sighed, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her drink. āNot particularly,ā she muttered, but she didnāt move Paigeās hand.
Behind Paige, Sophiaās eyes widened in surprise. She stood there for a moment, clearly trying to piece together what was happening. āWait,ā she said, looking directly at Azzi. āI thought you were here alone?ā
Paige sighed dramatically, turning around with an exaggerated eye roll. āDamn,ā she said, her tone thick with sarcasm. āYou still here?ā
Sophiaās mouth opened as if she was about to argue, but before she could get a word out, Paige cut her off smoothly. āLook, itās obvious sheās not here alone. So why donāt you go ahead and find someone else to bother, yeah?ā
There was a beat of silence before Sophiaās face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. She glanced at Azzi one last time, waiting for her to say something, but Azzi simply raised an eyebrow, silently sipping her drink. Defeated, Sophia muttered something under her breath and walked away.
Once she was gone, Azzi finally turned to Paige, brushing her hands off her waist. āWhatād you make my friend leave for?ā
Paige scoffed, crossing her arms as she looked down at Azzi. āYo friend? You aināt want her to stay. Cāmon now.ā
āWhatever,ā Azzi mumbled, shaking her head. āDonāt you have somewhere to be?ā
Paigeās lips curled into a mock pout as she stepped closer, pulling Azzi back in by her waist. āAw, you seem jealous, baby,ā she teased, her voice dropping into a playful drawl. āWas it ācus I was talking to her?ā
āFuck off, Paige,ā Azzi shot back, trying to sound annoyed, but the faint blush creeping up her neck betrayed her.
Paige tilted her head, her grin widening. āBaby, I wasnāt even doing anything.ā
Azzi scoffed, setting her drink down on the table nearby. āYeah? Sure didnāt look like it. You were having a grand ole time, laughing your ass off.ā
Paigeās grin softened into something more genuine as she leaned back slightly, her hands still firmly on Azziās waist. āOh, that?ā she said, her tone almost amused. āYou mean when me and the bartender were talking about you?ā
Azzi frowned, her confusion flickering across her face. āWhat?ā
Paige chuckled, clearly enjoying herself. āSheās a fan, Azzi. She got so excited when she realized who you were. Said sheād been waiting all night to make a drink for the Azzi Fudd.ā
Azzi blinked, her annoyance faltering. āWhat?ā she repeated, quieter this time.
Paigeās smile turned softer as she continued, āShe even showed me this old picture she had of you two as kids, yāall went to the same school I guess. You both had chocolate all over your faces. I couldnāt stop laughing, so I showed her one of mine from back then. It turned into a whole thing which kinda made me forget about our drinks.ā
Azzi rubbed her face with her hands, a groan slipping out as guilt settled in her chest. āoh,ā she muttered, dropping her hands to look up at Paige. āIām sorry. I shouldnāt haveāā
āYeah, you shouldnāt have,ā Paige interrupted, but there was no bite to her words. She pulled Azzi closer. Now their chests were pressed together, and Paige leaned down, her lips brushing Azziās ear as she whispered, āYou know I donāt want anyone else but you, princess.ā
Azziās breath hitched, her heart hammering against her ribs. Paige was so close, her breath carrying the faint scent of mint and Shirley Temple, her Dior cologne wrapping around Azzi like a second skin.
Paige leaned back just enough to meet Azziās eyes, her voice low and deliberate. āI think Iāve made that clear, havenāt I?ā
Azzi couldnāt do anything but nod, her hands instinctively gripping the front of Paigeās shirt for balance.
The corner of Paigeās mouth quirked up, her confidence radiating as she murmured, āGood.ā
Azzi swallowed hard, trying to pull herself together. āLetās go,ā she said suddenly, her voice firmer than she expected.
Paige tilted her head, her grin turning mischievous. āGo where?ā
āTo the car,ā Azzi replied, already pulling Paigeās hand to lead the way.
Paige followed without hesitation, the smirk never leaving her face as she let Azzi guide her.
ā
Azzi didnāt let go of Paigeās hand as they made their way through the crowd, her grip firm. She walked ahead, her pace steady, but there was an urgency in the way her fingers tightened around Paigeās. Paige followed with a smirk tugging at her lips, watching Azziās determination from behind, her ponytail swaying with each step.
When they reached the car, Azzi made her way to the passenger side, her hand still in Paigeās. Paige started to move ahead, her free hand reaching for the door handle. āHere, I got itāā
Before Paige could finish, Azzi spun her around, pinning her back against the car with surprising strength. The cool metal pressed against Paigeās back, but the heat of Azziās body in front of her erased it immediately.
Azzi didnāt waste a second. Her lips crashed onto Paigeās, her hands gripping the blondeās hips as if anchoring herself. Paigeās initial surprise melted into something far more eager as she let out a quiet sigh, her hands instinctively finding their way to Azziās waist.
Azzi deepened the kiss, her fingers sliding to the back of Paigeās neck, pulling her closer as her tongue brushed against Paigeās lower lip before slipping into her mouth. Paige groaned into the kiss, her fingers tightening on Azziās hips before sliding lower.
āDamn,ā Paige mumbled against Azziās lips, her voice slightly breathless. Her hands gripped the curve of Azziās ass through her shorts, and Azzi gasped softly in response, her breath hitching before muttering, āFuck.ā
Paige chuckled against her mouth, her fingers pressing more firmly as she whispered, āWhatās that, princess?ā
Azzi didnāt answer, too caught up in the way Paigeās soft lips moved against hers. Her voice came out as a broken mumble between kisses, āPā¦need you,ā her words trailing off as her teeth grazed Paigeās bottom lip, her tongue following close behind.
She broke the kiss, her breath heavy as she looked up at Paige, lips swollen and slightly parted. Paige smirked, the glint in her eye making Azziās heart pound harder and her core wetter. The blonde leaned in, brushing her lips against Azziās ear, her voice low and teasing.
āTell me, princess,ā Paige murmured, her hand still gripping Azziās waist, keeping her firmly against the car. āHow bad do you need it?ā
Azzi swallowed hard, her hands trembling slightly as they rested on Paigeās shoulders. Her big, doe-like eyes met Paigeās, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip before she answered softly, āSo bad.ā
Paige licked her lips, the corners of her mouth curling into a wicked smile as she tilted her head. āYeah?ā she teased, her voice dripping with control. āLemme make sure.ā
Azziās brows furrowed in confusion, her breath hitching as Paigeās hand slid from her ass to the front of her shorts. Paigeās fingers unbuttoned them, slipping beneath the waistband and pushing past the thin fabric of Azziās underwear.
The moment Paigeās fingers brushed against her, Azziās eyes widened, a soft gasp leaving her lips. She instinctively pressed her forehead to Paigeās shoulder, her entire body shivering as the blondeās fingers explored her slick heat.
āFuck..,ā Paige muttered, her lips brushing against Azziās temple as her hand moved slowly. āYouāre so wet.ā Her voice was low and heavy, sending a shiver down Azziās spine. āWhyās that, huh?ā
Azzi let out a shaky breath, gripping the back of Paigeās shirt as if to steady herself. āBecause of you,ā she mumbled, her voice breaking slightly as she fought to keep her composure. Paige tilted her head, her smirk deepening as she pressed her palm more firmly against Azziās clit, making the brunette gasp sharply. Paigeās voice was low, her breath tickling Azziās ear as she asked, āWho?ā
Azziās fingers curled tighter around the fabric of Paigeās shirt, her chest rising and falling with each shaky breath. She tried to speak, but her voice caught in her throat, her lips trembling.
āP-Paige,ā she finally stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper. āFuckā¦ P-please, I need it.ā
Paigeās smirk only grew, the sound of Azziās desperate plea sending a rush of heat through her. Without saying a word, Paige slid Azziās underwear to the side, her fingers finally feeling her completely.
āShit,ā Paige groaned, her head dropping slightly as she leaned closer. The slickness she felt against her fingers made her chest tighten, and she couldnāt help but let out a low, satisfied moan. āGod, baby,ā she muttered against Azziās lips, the words barely audible as she pressed a searing kiss to her mouth.
Azzi whimpered into the kiss, her hands sliding up to grip the back of Paigeās neck, holding her closer as her knees threatened to give out. Paige didnāt hesitate to deepen the kiss, groaning again as Azziās hips shifted slightly against her hand.
āYouāre so fucking wet,ā Paige murmured against her lips, her voice dripping with both desire and satisfaction. āAll for me, huh?ā
Azzi could only nod frantically, her breath hitching as Paigeās fingers moved in tight circles on her, each touch igniting a fire that spread through her entire body. āOnly for you,ā she whispered, her voice breaking, as her eyes fluttered shut. Paige smirked into the kiss as she rubbed azzis clit faster, fingers sliding up and down her wet making Azzi moan into her mouth, her soft sounds vibrating against Paigeās lips and only spurring her on.
Azziās hands gripped Paigeās shoulders tightly, her breathing uneven as she tried to form words. āP-Paige,ā she gasped, her voice shaky. āW-what if someone c-comes out?ā
Paige chuckled lowly, brushing her lips against Azziās ear as she whispered, āDonāt worry about that, baby. No oneās coming. Justā¦ fuckāā she groaned, moving her fingers faster and Azzi closer, the heat and wetness making her head spin. āYou feel so fucking good.ā
Azzi whimpered, her head falling forward onto Paigeās shoulder as her legs wavered. But Paige wasnāt about to let her go anywhere. Her other hand gripped Azziās waist firmly, keeping her pressed against the car as she dipped two fingers deep inside her without warning.
Azzi gasped sharply, her head snapping back as her lips parted in a soft cry. āOh my god,ā she whispered, her nails digging into Paigeās shirt as her body shuddered against her.
Paigeās lips curled into a satisfied smile as she watched Azziās reaction, her own breath hitching as she felt how tightly Azzi gripped her fingers. āThatās it, baby,ā she murmured, her voice thick with desire. She leaned closer, brushing her lips along Azziās jaw before whispering, āYouāre so tight, fuck. Taking me so good mama.ā
Azzi tried to respond, but all that escaped her lips was a broken moan as Paige began to move her fingers, slow and oh so deep . Her hips instinctively bucked forward, and she squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed by the intensity of Paigeās fingers.
āLook at me,ā Paige demanded softly, her free hand tilting Azziās chin up so their eyes met. The intensity in Paigeās gaze made Azziās stomach flip, and her lips quivered as she tried to hold back another moan.
āP-Paige,ā Azzi whimpered, her breath hitching again as Paige curled her fingers just right, hitting that same spot Paige was always so good at finding. āF-fuckā¦ please.ā
āPlease what?ā Paige teased, her voice a low rasp as she leaned in, her lips grazing Azziās. āTell me what you need, princess.ā
Azziās head tilted back against the car, her lips trembling as she gasped, āNeed to cum.. Please, Iāā
Paige cut her off with a deep kiss, her fingers moving faster now, her thumb rubbing tight circles on Azzis puffy clit, each motion making Azziās soft cries grow louder despite her attempts to stay quiet. Paige smirked against her lips, knowing Azzi was losing the battle of keeping herself composed. Paige could feel her tightening around her fingers, the brunetteās body trembling against her as her breathing grew uneven. Paige smirked, her lips brushing along Azziās jawline as she whispered, āYouāre so close, arenāt you, baby?ā
Azzi whimpered, her nails digging into Paigeās shoulders as her hips rocked forward, chasing the building orgasm. āY-yeah,ā she gasped, her voice shaky and breathless.
Paige pressed a kiss just below Azziās ear, her fingers moving faster, deeper, as she tilted her head to murmur, āCāmon, Az come on my fingers. Youāve been so goodāso damn good. I wanna feel you.ā
Azzi moaned, the sound desperate and needy as her head fell forward onto Paigeās shoulder. Her thighs trembled, and she could barely hold herself up as Paigeās words pushed her closer to the edge.
āThatās it,ā Paige encouraged, her tone low and soothing, though there was a roughness in it that only fueled Azziās need. āYou feel how good youāre doing? Iāve got you.ā
Azzi whimpered again, her grip on Paige tightening as her breathing hitched. āP-Paige,ā she stuttered, her voice breaking. āIāoh my godāIāmāā
āYāgonna come for me, arenāt you?ā Paige murmured, her breath hot against Azziās skin. She pressed her thumb hard against Azziās clit, rubbing in time with her thrusts as she added, āCome on, baby, give it to meā
Azziās eyes squeezed shut, and her body went taut as a sharp cry escaped her lips. Her climax washed over her in waves, her hips bucking as Paige held her firmly, coaxing her through it with soft murmurs.
āThere you go,ā Paige whispered, slowing her movements but keeping her fingers inside Azzi, riding out every shudder and tremble. āYouāre so perfect, baby. So fucking perfect.ā
Azzi sagged against Paige, her forehead pressed to Paigeās neck as she tried to catch her breath. Her body was still trembling slightly, and she let out a soft, shaky laugh. āYouāre too good at that,ā she whispered weakly, her voice muffled against Paigeās skin.
Paige chuckled, sliding her hand out gently and holding Azzi close. āI know ,ā she countered, pressing a kiss to Azziās temple. āCāmon, letās get you in the car before someone really does come out here.ā
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Deliver us from Eva
Pairing:Terry Richmond x Eva
Warnings: Drug use (cocaine), smut, love bombing
Summary: In a rush to stake her claim in the bedroom, Eva unknowingly signs a deal with the devilā¦
A/N: This will be strictly a one shot.(telling myself this bc ik how I amš)
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āStuck up boujie bitch that thought she ran the officeā. Thatās what they all thought about Eva, but if she didnātā¦who would? They were all dunces and lacked the overall beauty and intelligence that she held and quite frankly she wouldnāt apologize for it. Just a bunch of losers who couldnāt kiss her ass if it was engulfed in flames. She was just a young hot babe that overly excelled on the job yet they dwelled on the fact that she used work as a fashion show and the hallway as her runway..they simply couldnāt take her. But the newest work tea had her interested heavilyā¦somebody had a crush on her. Well that explained all the little gifts being left on her desks, the bouquet of lilies, the little letters that explained how much they loved her work ethic and especially her radiant beauty. Well at least someone admired her hard workā¦and she had a feeling who that someone was.
She had noticed his affectionsā¦but everyone knelt down for her and kissed the ground she walked on. How was she supposed to know the difference? Terry Richmond was exactly Evaās type. Tall and pretty with brains and strong arms that looked like they lifted twice her weight on a daily. His hypnotic puppy dog eyes would flick towards hers during group meetings, cheeks high and mouth upturned with a smile and sheād get suspicious of him and turn away with a roll of her eyes. He could try working that spell on another woman in the office, they were easier than her anyways. The fawning and gossiping made her gag on a daily, he was only ever cordial with the other women in the office and yet they acted as if heād offered up his face as a seat. Pathetic.
But Eva still had an itch inside that needed to be scratched. She wouldnāt deny herself pleasure for one second. She wanted to ride that pony right off into the sunset, and she hated him for making her feel that way. If she only had to snag him and use him to get herself off then so be it..men did it all the time. A nice plan was settling in real fine in her head, the brainstorming room was Terry's playground it seemed, he spent more time in there than anyone and it showed. His business proposals for companies looking to work with theirs and diagrams were exceptionally detailed and straight forward. A man about his work. She knew where to find him and reapplied her dark brown lip liner to her plump lips. She sealed it with a clear gloss before puckering her lips and stuffing her compact mirror back into her purse, time to work some magic.
Terry had heard her coming before he saw her. Heels clicking to a beat so familiar to him that he could hunt her down in a building full of people. He had a thing for snobby pretty bitches, knocking them off their high horses and filling them with dick was his speciality and little miss Eva was his newest obsessionā¦how fun. His matte black MacBook sat in front of him and he read through important work emails meticulously, a little bit of work before the play. She was getting closer now, just outside the door. Forcing his eyes to stay glued on his laptop screen, he tried to ignore her presence as she sat directly next to him. Notes of raspberry and saffron wafting into his nose. His ears began to ring and his foot tapped quickly underneath the table and she made it all worse by speaking to him in that sultry tone.
āI know your little secret Terry.ā He paused his scrolling and arched a brow at her. Ahh so she had been receiving his gifts. Good.
āYou have a crush on me, though I couldnāt really blame you.ā There it was again, that air of arrogance. He liked that shit.
āDo I now..what makes you so sure?ā He turned to her, giving her his full attention now.
Her full lips sat slightly open and her dark silk pressed hair fell around the cleavage that peeked from her blouse. Almond shaped eyes zeroed in on him suspiciously as she let his question sit with her. Fresh gel manicure tapping gently against the table brought his eyes downward where he watched the pretty manicured hand move to its own beat.
āBecause I like you too. Believe me that was hard enough to say so donāt give me that look.ā
āAnd just what do you like about me, Miss Evaā¦you ignore every other manās advances so why me?ā
āBecause youāre smart and pretty..and I wanna fuck you.ā Hmm a bit bolder than heād expected but heād bite.
āYou wanna fuck me or do you wanna get fucked, thereās a difference mama choose wisely.ā
The chair she sat in rolled closer and he was practically breathing in her whole existence. Her minty breath warm on his forearm as she dropped her hand onto his bicep, stroking against it like a sweet pampered house cat.
āI donāt discriminate, Iāll take whatever youāre offering and double it.ā She was overconfident in her ability to overtake him and that stirred something deep inside him. Women didnāt usually challenge him this way and he was teetering on the edge of showing his handā¦in due time.
Terry knew her type. Overly confident and arrogant to compensate for what she was actually lacking, he had clocked her months ago. Simply watching for an entry point into her head..to infiltrate her mind and body like a parasite. To control her. She had the workings of a good little sex slaveā¦something to own and degrade. Something to tear down and build back up in his image.
āWhat if Iām not offering anything, what if I just wanna take. You willing to give lil mama?ā
And willing she was. She had no idea what she was agreeing to..what sheād have to do to be down with him. The dark sinister side of him loved the art of ambush. The ability to play it up and source information about his prey while they stood in front of him. She craved something that he could only feign to give her, and he saw that present in her mind.
Terry didnāt know the true extent to his abilities or the origin of them. He assumed that they had been passed down through his bloodline..generation to generation. He knew things about people before they ever told him, he felt those things. Felt their turmoil and longing all around them, how it oozed from their pores like perspiration. And Eva was no different. She was desperate to feel any inkling of what she thought was love from people, underneath the facade she was heavily distraught by the lack of sympathy and kindness in her life. No one truly looked under her hard exterior and analyzed why she acted the way she did, said the things she said. But Terry would give her some justice tonight even if he was the only one that benefited from it.
Rushed lip locking and the sound of ripped garments filled his bedroom. There was no time to slow down. Not when her aura glowed blue with need and despair and not when his most carnal desires were coming to the forefront. There was wickedness at play there in the room, the lights turned down casting a warm glow over heated melanated skin and a tango of bodies that would frighten the gods. Terry withdrew his hand from her hair, the thick tresses so tightly bound that his knuckles rubbed against her scalp. And like a moth drawn to a flame, his brawny body carried itself to his dresser drawer. His guilty pleasure and the only white bitch that he had ever craved like air in his lungs ācoke. It rushed through his senses like a dream, centering him and abusing him all at once.
The mini ziplock rested on the dresser as he snorted his first line of the night. Head thrown back in pure bliss as he felt the instant euphoric rush to his bloodstream. His back was to his dresser as he beckoned her to come to him.
āDo you partake?ā A question so simple and yet she stared at him like he had two heads before shaking her head no.
āYou do nowā¦ youāll love it. Itās everything youāve been missing I promise.ā Her compliance meant little to him as he held the line up to her nose.
āNice and slow, there you go.ā He swept a thumb under her nose, gripping her chin gently in his hand. He wanted her fluttering around his space like a butterfly fresh from a chrysalis.
Her bare body twirled and wiggled in front of him like his favorite after hours show. Notes of Australian sandalwood and Haitian vetiver filled the space in his room, that intoxicating perfume that relayed signals to his olfactory bulb everyday. When she turned her back to him, hands thrown in the arm, he noticed the tramp stamp on her lower back. Heaven is what it read, but he had plans to take her someplace a little hotter, someplace she couldnāt come back from. A great satisfaction it would bring him to take her down so low he would be the only thing grounding her when he was finished with her.
He pulled her buzzing body to his. Naked chest to naked chest. His hands focused her whipping head forcing her to stare into his barren eyes, blown out pupils barely leaving room for the pretty brown he saw on a regular. He wanted all the signs of her snuffed outā¦aura slowly changing from blue to red. She placed her arms around his waist, lacing them together before she pressed her lips to his. A green light. An ok to wreck this helpless soul.
His mouth drooled and leaked for what seemed like the thousandth time already. Mustache and goatee drenched with pussy juice, he was getting his protein for the week and then some. Tongue curling around her clit to suckle it roughly while two of his fingers dig into her clenching hole. Her thighs had begun to bruise from his hold on them and the pain she felt from it made her moan and cry out loud. Euphoria wasnāt the word to explain what this was. This was splitting her mind in two, throwing her out and stuffing Terry inside. Did he love her? He had too, thatās what he had told her just minutes ago wasn't it? She wasnāt hearing things, couldnāt be.
āFuck I love you too. Take it.. it wonāt matter without you.ā She was crying out those words to him, giving him something to hold over her. But what was she offering..,her own life perhaps?
Wild colors burst behind her eyes as she orgasmed again. Legs shaking and quivering in his tight hold, while she let him wipe tears into her hairline. He stood over her hand gripping her throat so tightly that her heart raced in fear that he wouldnāt let go.
āLove?Thatās what you need right..what youāre missing? Thatās what Iām giving you rightā¦that feeling you feel right now, thatās the kind of love I offer Eva.ā
Love? This newfound love made her heart race and beat rapidly in her chest, it squeezed and rattled against her ribcage begging for reprieve from his hold..the hold she felt all over her body. She wanted it tho, people never made her feel anymore, just made her realize how much she wasnāt. And when his body came to lay over hers, dick positioned just above her entrance she began to truly see.
āI own you from here on out. Forget your family..they never loved you. Forget your friends..they never offered you any solace. I can bring you that and so much more. If you just let me in.ā
Her verbal consent unleashed something. And before she could protest in fear he sank deeply into her, and her mouth was caught in a permanent āoā as he pistoned into her quickly. She cried quietly in his ear as the walls bled around them, her eyes wide in horror. It gushed all around them and she wiped her forehead feeling a drop splash there.
āShh shh, thereās nothing there. Itās the drugs playing tricks on you I swear.ā His deep voice cooed into her ear. His reassurance didnāt go far.
Her nails sank deep into his back as he bottomed out in her pussy. The lewd notices that came from between them were not even enough to pull her focus from the wall behind them. A pair of yellow reptilian eyes stared at them through the blood and she shrieked in terror pointing at the wall.
āHe wonāt bother us baby..he just likes a little show. You donāt mind now do you?ā The unsettling grin on his face chilled her bones, but the fucking never stopped. He never stopped. Not when the headboard snapped in two, and not when she screamed bloody murder as another orgasm ripped through her body.
She made the mistake of shutting her eyes and when she opened them again she was watching herself and Terry on the bed. Her body stuck to the ceiling in a sort of lucid dream. She saw it all, the way he lifted her body and continued fucking her as he stood facing the wall now and how the Eva on the ground stared right up at her. Terry followed her line of sight and blew kisses up at youā¦ the real you. Or maybe that was the real you, but how could you be sure. When you raised your hand hers raised too, and when you subconsciously asked her to wink at you she did.
Then came his voice, the lightest whisper in your loud mind. Softly pulling you back into your own body, and when your wet eyes fluttered open again viridian eyes met yours. Your body smelled fresh and clean like you had been bathed and your silky tresses sat wrapped securely under a scarf. Confusion set deep in your features and a pounding migraine to make matters worse, yet answers were all you needed. And like your mind was being read he provided one.
āDeals with the devil are best made soberā¦shall we try again later?ā
@luvrsluxe @slvt4her @rawflwrs @thabiddie23 @blyffe @notapradagurl7 @sk1121-blog1 @dimepiece09 @playgurlxoxo @zillasvilla @23jammy @pocketsizedpanther @kenshisluvrgirl @brattyfics @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @melosliving @bimbosnbutterflies2026 @kirayuki22 @alyssawritcs @becauseimswagman1 @ranikyani @keehendrixx @ovohanna24 @venusincleo @grlsbstshot @yassbishimvintage @avoidthings @simplyzeeka @blowmymbackout @kimuzostar @kumkaniudaku @megamindsecretlair @theereina @keyaho @hotgrlcece @miyuhpapayuh @uzumaki-rebellion
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do you have anymore advice? your post helped me so much pls I need more
The Restaurant Analogy For Reality Shifting
Aghhh I told myself I wasnāt going to post anything else, yet here I am XD. Hopefully this is helpful.
You already know how to shift. āOh, but Iāā nope. Nope. You already know how to shift. How do I know that? Because shifting is simply the act of becoming aware of your desired reality. And how do you become aware? By focusing, by choosing what you want to become aware of. When your focus and intention are aligned with your DR, youāre already shifting.
āBut the symptomsāā
Oh to grab and politely shake you until you realize that ābecoming aware of XYZā is merely focusing on that thing, becoming aware of it. Are you laying there focusing on your DR? Congratulations, youāve become aware of your DR.
(Thereās a very popular post on here (that I canāt find rn bc Iām rushing as I type this) that states your awareness shifts first and then your senses follow. I cannot stress enough how true that is.)
When you lay down to shift, you donāt need to overcomplicate it. Just focus on your DR and allow it to come to you. Let yourself shift. Sure, allowing it might involve slipping into an altered state of consciousness, using methods, counting or affirmingāif that feels natural to you in the moment. But ultimately, it comes down to self-trust. Your mind already knows how to shift. Maybe your issue is that you just need to step out of your own way and let it happen. Which in that case:
Deciding to shift is like deciding to go to a restaurant and sitting down.
Choosing your DR is like selecting a meal from the menu.
Letting your subconscious do the work is like trusting the chef in the kitchen to cook your meal.
What happens next? Inevitably, the chef brings out your mealāyou become aware of your DR.
Now, what NOT to do:
You donāt march into the kitchen and grab the ingredients from the chef. You donāt argue with them about how theyāre making your meal. Your chef, your mind, knows how to cook. You donāt pace back and forth from the kitchen to your table, spiraling in doubt, wallowing in self-pity, or crying to everyone in the restaurant about how youāll never get your food and how youāre doomed to starve. You donāt leave the restaurant altogether. You sit down, relax, and trust the process.
āBut what if my meal takes a year, or two, or even more?ā
Well, think about itāwhat have you been doing during that time? Have you been running into the kitchen? Losing faith in the chef? Accusing him of not knowing how to cook? Your beliefs shape your reality. What you believeāwhat you truly believeāis what manifests.
This even applies to the ārestaurant.ā If you believe your meal will take forever, it will. If you believe the chef isnāt cooking, they wonāt be. If you believe youāll never get your meal, then you probably wonāt.
But thatās the beauty of going to the restaurant. No matter how much you doubt, the meal comes eventually. Why else would you have sat down at the restaurant?
And thereās another thing: some meals may take longer, and thatās completely fine. Even if youāve been patiently sitting here waiting for it and itās been taking forever in your mind, thatās completely fine. Let go of this atattchment you have to time.
So what if the meal took a year to reach your table? 2 years? 3 years? 4 years? 5 years? Has all that time passed since youāre reading this? Awesome! So why are you still focused on it?
All the time youāve spent shifting, you will get back and more once you start shifting. 2 years? You gain it back. 3 years? Back into your hand it goes. 4 years? There it is again. 5 years? You got it back.
Focus on the now; sit at the restaurant, enjoy the live music, talk to other patrons, flip through the menu and browse because maybe you want to change your meal or try an appetiser.
āChanging the meal (my DR) means itās going to take even longer!ā
Who told you that? I donāt know what kind of cooking you guys are doing IRL, but afaik, if the stove is already on and the pan is warm, searing that stake is going to be just as quick.
āClover, but you just implied that arguing with the chef messes with your meal!ā
Arguing with the chef (your subconscious) is very different from politely poking your head through the kitchen doors and informing him that you want a different meal.
āBut how do I focus on my DR?ā
I love this question! When youāre sitting at the table, expecting your meal, what are you doing? Youāre probably thinking about your foodāimagining the flavors, the texture, the sensations of eating it, the satisfaction of finally having it. Thatās how you focus on your DR.
When youāre laying there doing your shifting process, think about what it feels like to be in your DR. Use your senses. Imagine the smells, the sounds, the things youād touch, the things youād hear. Visualize, ground yourself, and do what feels natural for you. Thereās no right or wrong way to focusājust let yourself become immersed in the idea of your DR and trust itās coming to you.
What you need to do is simple: select your meal, sit down, and know that itās coming. Iām not even telling you to wait for itājust know that itās already on its way. The moment you ordered, it became yours. Thatās all there is to it.
#reality shifting#shifting#shifting community#shifting blog#shifting motivation#shifting reality#permashifting#shifting methods#shifting success#shiftblr#shifting antis dni#shifters#shifting storytime#shifting tips#respawning
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MY GENIUS LILIIII OH GOSHHH THIS FIC WAS AMAZINGGG šš !! i wrote this reblog with fuzzy feeling by grentperez on loop so.. i was double feeling the lovesick energy over here <3 i havenāt read a long fic in a hot minute so this was a great way to get back into it AAAA
and because her writing is soso awesome, i NEEDDD to talk about parts of the fic ( i have a lot of ssā¦. i was hooked okayā¦ ) SO SPOILERS AHEAD, PLEASE READ MY GIRLāS FIC FIRST ā ITāS WORTH READING <3
okay this was absolutely CRAZY. MARBLES. āyouāll have to let me kiss you anytimeā OKAYYYYYYYY HAN DONGMIN I SEE YOU. YOU SMOOTHHH FREAKER . even had y/n in shock unable to refute his points likeā¦. oh he knew what he was doing.
he was already having me freaked out at the beginning like why is he fine alreadyā¦ itās the lili effect helpā¦.
THE NECKLACE PART HAD ME GIGGLING!!! lili had graced me with a spoiler of her fic THAT HAD ME EXCITEDDDD so when i located it in the fic and the way she brought up the necklace again AJAKKA IM GIGGLINGGG AGAINNNN AS I TYPE THIS OMGOGM
and not him knowing y/nās favorite thingsā¦ guysā¦ GUYSā¦. choco pie is so bomb guys LILI KNOWS WHATS UPPPPPP AND ANTON PASSING IT??? Like ouhhh taesan URE CRAZYYYY FOR THISSSS ( hot . )
TAESAN COMING TO THE RESCUEEEE ugh i just love how their rivalry relationship is still like present??? like yes call him stupid ( heās going to be your stupid boyfie ) BECAUSEEE like lili acc incorporated it so well that whenever taesan came back in the picture, it just likeā¦ so what are we š like guysā¦ this made me realize why iām LOWK a sucker for fake dating tropeā¦
IS THIS A LEGALLY BLOND REFERENCE š¤š¤š¤š¤ ( i never watched itā¦ should iā¦. )
DENIAL DENIAL DENIALLLLL had my girl doubting everything when sheās there wearing his jerseyā¦ this is so real though iād force myself into thinking its all pretend becauseā¦ THATS LIKE THE ONLY THOUGHT ID HAVE SO I GET HER š£
DARLIGNGGGGG GKILL MEEEEEE LILI WAS SICK FOR THAT OFHTMFKOFVK . YEAH THAT HEART BETTER BE BEATING CAUSE MINES WAS . envisioning taesan going up to her w a big grin on his face AND A HUG AT RHATā¦ bro iād hit the floor before we could even lock eyes again r u kiddingā¦.
WE LOVE WHEN READER STANDS UP FOR HERSELF šš like yes know your worth bae !!! CUT THAT MF OFFFFFFFFF
B B B B B BOYYYYY DONT PLAY W ME RNNNNN ik he was giggling in his head about calling y/n his girlfriendā¦. trying to keep it smooth while inside heās geeking and is likeā¦ āthatās my girlfriend ššššā (completely disregarding its fake dating and savoring the moment) BUT AAA THAT WAS CUTE SKKSKSS Yes take my hand.
HAD ME GAGGEDDDDD. THE WAY MY SMILE GREW WIDER WHEN TAESAN REPLIED TO WHAT HE SAID LIKE GOODNESSS TAESAN PLEASEEEEEE . this is becoming too much to handle Bue lili how did you survive writing this .
okay now iām going to reach the pic limit on moblie so im going to stop with the pics hereā¦ MY COMMENTARY DOESNT END HERE!!!!
CONTINUING.
when taesan stepped in whenever anton had his hands on readerā¦ š like yes protective man GO GET YOUR GFFFFFFF . ādonāt touch herā okay so stomach flipped over 360 and then did some breakdancing before it went back to its normal state.
hes literally so caring like . like ure giving me snacks ur jersey ur scarf and now a warm drink and heat pack ā¦? What else does this man unable to give her . heād literally give the whole world . this only solidifies my love for this even more bc
GUYS IM ACC A SUCKER FOR ONE SIDED RIVALSā¦. so when taesan was the one who really didnāt hate y/n I FREAKING CHEERED???? i lablhablahalahaj that. āhow he cant stop himself from falling in love with youā PACK IT UPPPP TAESANNNNNOMG HES SUCH A LOVESICK FOOL . the way he describes the way y/n makes him feel its just like. Chefs kiss Quite literally.
like the way it gets harder for taesan to hold everything in and then y/n slowly BUT SURELY feeling the same way is just so UGHHHHHH āwhat ifā¦ i told you im not too sure i can pretend much longer?ā TAESAN SHUTUOPPSUIDUROSIDODKD boy he shouldve just confessed there but lili is like poor edger lord over here and gave us the awk BUT CUTE FEELINGS THAT COME AFTER SAYING THATA AJSJJSJS I labh that.
like yes i need them two completely clueless about what to do next even though the feeling inside them is GNAWING them insideā¦. and lili delivered on that.
AND THE WAY ANTON KEPT APPEARING LIKE OMG???? BAE ILY BUT U WERE ON IT IN THIS FIC ššš. LET HER GOOOO GEEZ HES SO PERSISTENT. and the way taesan came to rescue her again ( need a taesan ) AND THE WAY HE HELD HIMSELF BACK PLEASEESTOPPPPPP THAT WAS EVILLLL OMG . MR FLIRT OVER HERE PLEASE SPIT IT OUT š«µš«µš«µ
as much as i did not like anton in this fic, iād say he hsd a contribution of getting these baes together and y/n to finally REALIZE REALIZE SHES FALLINGGGG . like the way she slowly starts off noticing things about him to finally BOOM recognizing it all and piecing it togetherā¦ LIKE I CHEERED ACTUALLY WHEN I SAW āYou like him. You like Han Taesanā LIKE YES YOU DOOOO BAEEE ššššš
and ANSNDN THEY FINALLY TELL EACH OTHER LIKE UESSSSS YESSSSSS PLEASEEE THIS WAS WHAT I WAS CRAVING FORRRRRRR .
oh gosh the part when yunjin says are theg dating and y/n says ānoā while taesan says āyesā LIKE UGHHHH IK HE WANTED TO SAY RHAT SO BADLYYTT LIKE FRFR CONFIRM IT. i just love how their teasing aspects of the relationship overall was still there .
LIKE THEY ACTUALLY ARE BOYFIE GIRLFIE!!!!! like ohhh u thought i was done w giving ss ?? NOPE. SAVING BEST FOR LAST .
THE WAY HE WANTED TO HEAR IT AGAIN AGAIAJSNN AND THEN SAID IT HMSELF / AGREED TO IT. OHHH THIS IS SUCH A WINNNN. THEY LOVE ESCH OTHER!!!!!!!!!
and then taesan adjusting the H.D. pendant for her IH MY GOSHHHH YES LLEASE . its so subtle but reading that had me like wanting to take actual laps . A marathon even . AND THENNN THE WAY HE WAS complimenting her sayinf she looks good everyday like PLUEHAHS .
and the way he remembers like sm about herā¦. like wdym u still rmbr that š¤ hes so sweet this is sickening . LIKE HE EVEN REMEMBERED THAT WISH LIKE OKAYYY bro was plotting since the get go.
WHEN THEY FREKAING KISSED OH HMKGODDDDDD a string of curse words flew out of my mouth that i will not be typing here . KIKE YESYEYSYSYS I WAS WAIITNGGFF AND RHATS LIKE SUCH A CUTE WAY TO BRING RHAT UP??? like okay taesan rizzler over here ā¦
the way he wants that as his wish like please thats ur GIRLFRIEND !!! heās so down bad like sir we see that blush even if u try to play it off . ITS SUCH A NEEDSDDD
WISH GRANTEDDDDD . THAT WAS RHE BEST ENDING I COULDVE EVER GOTTEN MY HEARY IS CONTENT . my heart is filled with taeyn moments i love it so much. lili granted My wish for providing such an amazing fic for us like GOODNESSSS this will be my bedtime story for the time being.
THE END OF MY SUPER LONG REBLOG!! ā” i feel bad for my girl liliā¦. but this truly was wonders šµāš« !!! I AWAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE HEHE ><
ćį
āæćį
NOT THAT I CARE OR ANYTHINGććāāāāćį
( han taesan )
š¹recis ā : ā your ex, seemingly sweet anton, spreads malicious rumours about you that could potentially ruin your entire academic weapon career, so you have to take desperate measuresšand that includes a fake-dating contract and the bane of your existence, han taesan.
ćććį
ķķģ° ā ā āā”ā ā ā š reader ā wc 13k ā genre college au fluff angst if you squint one sided rivals to lovers academic weapon x campus crush ā contains mentions of food vulgar words skinship pet names ā note iām sorry if this fic is.. all over the place a bit coz,, yea!! but this fic is highly.. self-indulgent.. heheh! and i originally wanted to make this more angsty but iām already sad and single so, No! anyways, enjoy reading ^_^ ā tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net
ćććį
ļ¼ļøæ ććplease leave feedbacks ćć& ććreblog
āALRIGHT. Letās do it.ā
As you gaze into Taesanās determined eyes, the entire series of events flashes through your mind.Ā
It was back in your first year of universityāearly winter, the day of the first snowfall. You were walking towards the three-floor library, the cold wind stinging your eyes. You rushed inside, grateful for the gush of artificial warm air that greeted you as soon as the doors closed behind you. The library was quite packed for some reason, and you could barely spot any empty seats.
You walked towards the edge of the library, a corner with the largest window of the level. There it wasāone of the only empty seats in the entire libraryābut that seat was next to a boy, heavily occupied with his studies. Your pace slowed down as you hesitated. The boy had a focused blank look on his face, his headphones on, and several papers and notebooks were scattered on the table around him.
You felt like you wanted to just leave and go back to your room, but remembering how cold it was outside, you decided against it.Ā
After taking a deep breath, you approached him. With a shaky smile, you tapped the boyās shoulder, muttering a silent prayer.Ā
āExcuse me,ā you said as he lowered his headphones to his neck. āMay I sit here? I-I mean, if itās cool with you..ā
He simply nodded. āSure.ā
You had sat down next to the mysterious boy for the entire day, not knowing that, in the present, he would be the bane of your existence.Ā
In this moment, youāre brought back to the present, startled at how youāre standing in front of him. The mysterious boy that you had sat next to turned out to be Han āTaesanā DongmināKOZ School of Lawās campus crush. Thereās almost nothing ābadā that youāre heard of him, yet, when you find yourself walking towards him with a fiery determination in your eyesāyou immediately know that youāre about to get hit with something youād never expect.Ā
āA-are you sure?ā you say, surprised to even find yourself stuttering. Youāve held yourself to such a high reputationābeing your schoolās academic weaponāyouāve worked hard to keep yourself true to that name.Ā
Well, to be fair, you didnāt expect Taesan to even say yes to your ridiculous planāgiven that all thatās heās ever done for you is say everything that will get on your nerves.
Taesan gives you a smirk. āOf course,ā he says, clearing his throat. āBeing the boyfriend of KOZ Academyās academic weapon isnāt something you get to do everyday.ā
The way he presses the emphasis on the word āboyfriendā makes you flinch. It reminds you of your stupid plan; who in their right mind would offer Han Taesanāyour rivalāa fake dating deal just to make rumours about themselves go away?
āRight,ā you roll your eyes. āAnyway, I think we need to enforce some guidelines and boundaries regarding thisā¦ set-up.ā
Taesan shoves his hands into his pockets, shifting his weight to let himself stand more comfortably. The smirk still on his face, he replies, āalright. Hit me with all of āem.ā
You whip your phone out, quickly showing him a document that you spent an entire night typing outācomplete with every single thing he needed to do for you.Ā
āHere,ā you say, frustrated at how Taesanās smug smirk just never falters.Ā
Taesan runs a hand through his hair before leaning down to read through the document displayed on your phone. He finishes reading it quickly, taking a step closer to you after. He doesnāt say anything for a while, only to startle you by abruptly saying, āI agree.ā
āWhatā?ā you blurt out, surprised once again. You thought that Taesan would be more picky thanāĀ
āYour terms are easy for me to do. However,ā you narrow your eyes at the boy whoās towering in front of you. Of course heās pickyāheās Taesan. āIād like you to agree to my conditions as well. If I have to do some things for you, youād have to do some things for me too.ā
You sigh before nodding. How hard could it be? Besides, this whole ārelationshipā youāre having with Taesan is merely a fake dating set-up.Ā
āOkay.ā
Taesan whips out a full-blown smug smirk, making you roll your eyes. He pushes his glasses up his nose bridge, holding out two fingers.Ā
āFirst, you have to also put in the effort to make things real. Like, wearing my jersey when I have basketball games, and wearing my initials āround your neck,ā he pushes his middle finger down, the smug grin still plastered on his face, āand secondly, youāll have to let me kiss you anytime.ā
The moment the word ākissā escapes his mouth, you choke on thin air.Ā
Why is my plan backfiring on me?Ā
āWhat? Noāā
Taesan shrugs. āBasically, physical contact is allowed to be done anytime.ā
You feel your face flush, immediately recalling the third condition that you showed Taesan. No physical affection unless needed.Ā
āIām afraid I canāt do thatāitās clashing with my third term.ā
āBut your first term: āthe other party must always do his utmost best to make the relationship seem realā exists, am I right?ā Taesan objects relaxedly. āThen, my second term doesnāt clash with that. And I also do believe that that first term of yours comes before the rest. Am I right?ā
You grit your teeth, sucking in a sharp breath. How could you forget? Taesan will always work to have the last wordābe that in court or in conversations.Ā
Plus, heās not entirely wrong.Ā
Though, youāve never been someone who lets Taesan win willingly.Ā
āWhatever,ā you roll your eyes, your heart twisting in detest at the way Taesanās face lights up with a smirk again.Ā
āThen, we have a deal?ā Taesan asks.Ā
You stare into his dark brown eyes once again, registering what youāre about to commit yourself to. All just to get rid of your ex and the rumour heās pulled you into.Ā
You hold out your hand, Taesan gladly reciprocating.Ā
āDeal.ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ļæ½ļæ½ ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
IT didnāt hit you that youāre officially Han Taesanās girlfriend that night. However, the next morning, right after the two of you signed the document at the coffee shop you always study atāit hit you like a million bricks from the sky.Ā
Youāre in a ārelationshipā with the person you loathed the most for the past year. The exact same man who everyone adores, whoās called the it-boy, the campus crushāis now your most ābelovedā. Freshman you would rather jump off a cliff than to offer her nemesis a fake-dating pact.Ā
Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess.Ā
āHere,ā Taesan hands you a velvet boxāone that obviously contains jewellery of some sort.Ā
Of course. Han Taesanās always prepared.Ā
You let out a deep sigh, knowing whatās inside. Despite that, you ask, āwhatās this?ā
Taesan gives you a grin, one that you always see him don during the countable times that he beats you in quizzes. āOpen itāIām sure youāll like it.ā
You run your fingers around the edges of the velvety box, sceptical at Taesanās sudden soft tone. āDonāt talk to me like that,ā you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.Ā
Taesan, instead of immediately throwing a scoff in your face, simply leans back into his seat with a chuckle.Ā
Not waiting for whatever reply heās preparing to throw to you, you open the box. Your eyes lay upon a beautiful, dainty necklace with a āH.Dā pendant, nested elegantly in the box. You bite back a gasp, though youāre unable to hide your surprise. The silver necklace is one of the most beautiful pieces of jewellery youāve yet to lay your eyes uponāitās dainty and simple, yet it screams elegance in the best way possible.Ā
You look up at Taesan, obviously bug-eyed. āWhat- Iām- thank you?ā
Taesan throws his head back, laughing. He perches an eyebrow up, clearly amused. āWhat am I supposed to answer? āYouāre welcomeā?ā
Oh. Itās part of his terms.Ā
You glare at him.Ā
Not missing a beat, Taesan says with a big grin on his face, āwhat is your lazy ass waiting for? Put it onāor do you need me to help with that?ā
You massage your temples, tempted to stick your tongue out at him, hissing the obvious at himāthat you do not want to wear his initials around your neck.Ā
āI donāt need your help,ā you say between gritted teeth, harshly yanking the necklace from the box. You swiftly clasp the necklace around your neck, secretly surprised that youāre able to do so.Ā
Maintaining a glare, you retort, āIām only wearing this stupid necklace because itās part of your terms.ā
You throw your gaze elsewhere, Taesan laughing his stomach out in the background. Why is he finding your irritated state so funny?Ā
The pendant feels cold against your skin, sending tingles. You gulp, feeling odd. You hadnāt announced your ārelationshipā to your friends yetābut seeing you with Taesanās initials could certainly start rumours.Ā
A part of you is jumping with triumphāyour plan is starting to set its course, while another part of you is afraid of it all. What if youāre finally not good at something, no matter how much you tryāpretending youāre in love with your rival, the bane of your existence?
āWeāll start slow,ā you hear Taesan say, pulling you back into reality. You quickly morph into your stoic expressionāone that you find yourself often putting up around people. āLike everyone else does. Soft launch.ā
āAh,ā you manage, nodding. āSounds good.ā
āEven though that necklace certainly is a big jump for a soft launch,ā Taesan voices, chuckling. His words cause you to narrow your eyes at him, hyper aware of the cold metal against your skināa mark that Taesan managed to place on you.Ā
Itās all fake, you chant to yourself. Once Anton gets the message, itāll all be over.Ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
THE past few weeks had been a blur. Nothing was out of the ordinaryāyou attended classes, performed mootings and sent in assignments like usual. Though, only one thing that was out of the routine.
Taesan no longer felt like a thorn to your side.Ā
You still hate himāyou despise the way he carries himself, so proud and confident. You wish you could punch his face for the way heās so smooth with his words, the way that his charm works on everyone so well. You absolutely hate the way a handsome idiot like him had the potential to beat you in every single subject if you slacked for even a minute.Ā
Yet, to the public, heās your boyfriend.Ā
A cliche: rivals to lovers, they say.Ā
Despite being the one proposing the whole fake dating plan, you had been the one following Taesanās itinerary so far. The two of you had finally exchanged phone numbers, and at night, Taesan would always send a list of ideas on how to make the soft launch more obvious day by day.Ā
The first week, you found yourself wearing tops that highlighted the H.D pendant, styling your hair to make it more noticeableāyou even went as far as attending Taesanās birthday celebration to top the chances of people noticing the pendant. And Taesan didnāt inform you of this one, but you often found him telling his friends, yours, or random coursemates to pass you drinks and snacks. You had no idea how Taesan had gotten the list of all your favourite things to munch on, but you secretly did enjoy the free flow of snacks. Anton had passed you a snack from Taesan tooāfive packs of your favourite Choco Pie. You couldnāt forget the bewildered face Anton had as he passed them to you, eyes filled with question and a hint of jealousy.Ā Ā
āWhatās up with Han?ā he asked.
You shoved the Choco Pies into your shoulder bag, biting back a smile. Who wouldnāt be jolly after getting five of their favourite tidbits?Ā
āHow would I know?ā you replied bitterly. You quickly turn away from Anton, the uncomfortable feeling of being around him overpowering the bubbly feeling you had from getting snacks.Ā
āWell, those Choco Pies are from him,ā Anton repeated for the second time. āAnd I donāt recall him being anything but hostile to you.ā
You suppress a scoff. āMaybe heās had a change of heart? His brain is probably tired of coming up with things to try and outsmart me,ā you muttered. As if.Ā
āWell, if anythingāif that asshole tries to do anything to you, Iāllā¦ be here for you, Y/N,ā Anton said, taking a step closer. Your eyes widened and your jaw clenched. You quickly finished packing your bag up, swinging it over your shoulders.Ā
You said that last time, too.Ā
āDonāt talk to me, Anton,ā you responded as monotony as possible before running out of the lecture hall, not giving Anton even a glance.Ā
The following weeks, Taesan was hanging out with you even more than the previous week. He wasnāt being too obvious, but to you, him walking slightly behind you and not throwing a loud sarcastic remark was already an apparent sign that would show everyone that your dynamics had changed.Ā
Anton had found yet another chance to corner you after a Public International Law lecture. You stayed back in the hall to reread your theoretical essay before sending it in. Behind you, Taesan was packing up his things, busy scrolling through something in his phone.Ā
āHi, Y/N,ā you froze when Antonās voice reached your ear drums.Ā
You look up at him with a glare. āWhat do you want?ā
Anton flashed his usual pitiful, soft smile. āNothing. Just a meal with youāthis week has been quite stressful for you, right? I heard that last Mondayās mooting was rough.ā
āYouāre not even a law student, Anton,ā you seethed. The KOZ School of Business student ID card hanging on Antonās neck looked extremely out of place amongst the ocean of law students. āPlease kindly get lost, go back to the Business building.ā
āMy course mates are boring. Besides, youāre more fun to be around,ā Anton replied. āI know weā¦ havenāt been on good terms, but give me a chance to fix it all?ā
You gritted your teeth, your hands beginning to shake.Ā
The audacity of this boyā¦ where is my stupid fake boyfriend when I need himā?
āI think she clearly said for you to get lost, bud.ā
You fought back a grin. Finally.Ā
āHan?ā Anton tilted his head. āWaitā who are you to tell me that?ā
Taesan stood next to you, his backpack dangling from one shoulder. His height towered significantly above you, making you standing right below his shouldersāenough to match Anton. āWho do you think I am?ā
Antonās eyes darted towards the pendant on your dĆ©colletage, his eyes bulging. āWhat theā¦ā you heard him mutter under his breath.Ā
Taesan seemed to notice this too, and he swiftly pulled you close, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. āSo, get it now? Get lost, Lee, and give your ex some space. An ex is an ex for a reason.ā
Anton then left with a fuming expression, leaving you in fits of relieved laughter after. You thanked Taesan, who simply responded with a polite smile.Ā
āBy the end of this, donāt forget the wish, yeah?ā he said, before walking out of the lecture hall.Ā
You stood there, blinking profusely. You had completely forgotten the last clause of your agreement with Taesanāonce you were satisfied with his service, you had to grant him one wish. Anything that he wanted.Ā
You face palmed yourself. Why didnāt you think twice before typing that down? You mentally made a note to yourself to prepare your wallet for the outrageous request that the thorn in your side would make later on.Ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
āARE you and Taesan dating?āĀ
Sophiaās question makes you almost spit your lunch through your nose.Ā
āWhat?ā
āGirl, donāt you dare pretend not,ā Yunjin interrupts, pointing her spoon at you. āYou literally have his initials as a necklace that you never take off! H.D., which means Han Dongmin, right? Isnāt that his real name?ā
āItās not likeāā
āNo, no. Itās so obvious! Taesanās around you more now, and he even gave you a birthday present!ā
Sophia smiles, āhe looks at you so differently now!āĀ
Yunjin laughs, nodding. āYeah, yeah, that too, I guess,ā she then looks at you, directly in the eyes, āI guess Han Taesan and Y/N L/N have finally begun their lovers era, huh?ā
You feel your cheeks warming up, and guilt fills your chest. You draw a sharp inhale before telling the girls the full story. And subconsciously, your fingers find the pendant, playing with it.Ā
āItās fake,ā you sigh, āI mean, not the necklaceāheās just pretending. Iām pretending, too. None of this isā¦ real.ā
Sophia gasps and Yunjin frowns.Ā
āAre youā¦ sure? What for?ā Sophia asks.
Yunjin nods in agreement. āIāve always thought that dude had feelings for you, but Iā¦ I didnāt realise itās actually wrong and my deductions were totally off.ā
You scoff, though Yunjinās words left you wondering. āTaesan doesnāt like meāhave you girls seen how he treats me?ā
āHe treats you well,ā Yunjin states plainly, shoving a spoonful of rice into her mouth.Ā
āNo,ā you immediately shake your head, āhe hates seeing me happy! He always finds a way to stick his annoying nose into my life, mocking me. Heās like always, always there to only laugh at my face.āĀ
āThen why did he agree?ā Sophia asks.Ā
āTo what?ā
āTo fake date you,ā she continues, taking a sip of her yakult. āWell, Iām sure you have a planāa contract and allādonāt you?ā
Your eyes widen. How do these two girls know you so well?Ā
āYeah. I do. Iām doing all this because of Anton,ā the look on your friendsā faces makes you feel a little relieved, āI need him to shut up about me.ā
You recall the ridiculous rumour youāve heard about you from Yunjin, thatās been going around like crazyāthe rumour that you used to date Anton because heās rich and that you used him as a bribe to get outstanding grades. Those close to you knew that is and would never become trueāyet people are always jealous of others who have certain things better than them.Ā
It may seem like a small matter to some, but to you, itās a matter of reputation. Your whole image and potentially, your graduation is at risk. What if the rumour reaches some professor and they report you? You couldnāt risk the huge amount of money and time you spent, only to be scrapped off the deanās list due to some rumour.Ā
Yunjin herself had recorded proof of Anton trying to turn her against you, using that rumour. If she hadnāt shown you the recording, you wouldnāt have believed that sweet, kind Anton was the one who spread those malicious whispers about you.
Now, youāve got to end it all. One way or another.
You continue finishing your lunch, Taesan somehow in mind. By the end of your lunch, youāre convinced that this is truly all an actāitās nothing real, and in the end, youāre both just people who hate each other and use each other for selfish, personal reasons.
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
āDO I really have to wear your ugly varsity jacket?ā Dongmin hears you grunt through the call. He stifles a laugh, tossing a ball up and down.Ā
āObviously, you dimwit,ā he replies, āyouāre my girlfriend, arenāt you?ā
Dongmin lets himself smile. The word rolls off his tongue like a simple melodyāit feels natural for him to say. He finds it odd, yet entertainingāyour reaction is worth it all. Besides, itās quite refreshing to take a break from hating you, sometimes.Ā
āBesides, your ex is going to be there,ā Dongmin reminds, his voice more throaty than expected. āHeās on the team as well, remember?ā
āYeah,ā he catches your quiet answer.Ā Ā
āAnyway, how do you even have time for all this?ā you question from the other end of the line.Ā
āHmm,ā Dongmin hums, āI do have time.āĀ
āDonāt fucking lie to me,ā you hiss. āYouāre in law school, Han Taesan.ā
āWhat? Like itās hard?ā
Dongmin lets out a hearty laugh as he hears you gaspāone of the loudest and most genuine expressions heās gotten out of you yet.Ā
āIām so done with you,ā you huff. Dongmin hears you shuffle through your closet, most likely finding something to wear.Ā
āYou say that everytime,ā Dongmin whispers to himself softly.Ā
āAnyway,ā you announce loudly, āyou better have some food for me once I arriveāIām wearing your stupid varsity jacket.ā
āAlright, sweetheart, anything for you,ā Dongmin jests in a sing -song voice.
He hears you yelp in disgust, chuckling. āYuck! Fuck off, Taesan!ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
ITāS a friendly match, nothing serious, Taesan had said; yet youāre here amongst other significant others, to watch him and his team play against another schoolās team.Ā
At the bleachers, you feel called out, and insanely out of place. Everyone looks so in loveāgirlfriends wearing jerseys with their boyfriendsā numbers and names on the back, painted their faces accordingly, and even cheering for them with their hearts; mothers and siblings gathering together to support their sons and brothers.
Everyone looks so genuinely in love, and youāre the only one whoās there just because you have to. You arrived only two minutes before the match started, too, because you obviously donāt love Taesan enough to be rescheduling your work shift to see him play.
You fidget with the edges of the varsity jacket youāre wearing, oddly feeling how itās perfectly oversized on you.Ā
Earlier, Taesan had spotted you sitting awkwardly on the bleachers. He ran over to you, quickly handing you a quesadilla and a cup of bubble tea, before jogging back to the basketball court to warm up. He didnāt say anything, nor did youābut the gesture made you feel weirdly fuzzy.Ā
Taesan did actually get you some food, even though you grumpily yelled at him to do so. You thought he wouldnāt, just so that he could get on your nerves, just like he always does.Ā
You watch him and the team warm up, pumping up positive energy with each other. You take a bite of your quesadilla, trying to ease your heartāyet you just canāt forget the real reason why youāre here.Ā
Jersey number 35.
The whistle blows, indicating the start of the game, and you catch Antonās glance at you. He gives you a wide smile, winking twiceāa sign that he made up, thanking you for coming, just like the old days. You grimace, turning away.
The mission is to make it seem like Iām in love with Taesan.Ā
You intently watch Taesan play in the arena, his moves sharp and powerful. He slips through the oppositionās defense flawlessly, scoring goals smoothly. Every time he throws the ball, it gets into the hoopāpeople erupt in cheers and heās surrounded by his teammates.Ā
And every time, Taesan looks up at you, flashing his signature smirk. His grin sparkles, lighting up the roomāit makes you feel like youāre the only one in the huge arena.Ā
It makes you feel odd.Ā
Like thereās so much more under that grin he flashes to you every time he scores.Ā
You touch the pendant on your dĆ©colletage, the cold metal stinging against your skin. Your fingers trace the lettersāthe initials of Taesanās birth nameāreminding you this is all a set-up. Youāre supposed to pretend, and Taesan is pretending too.Ā
He must be.
Taking a deep breath, you tug the varsity jacket closer to your body, shoving your hands into its pockets. The weight of Taesanās name and number lay heavy on your back, yet you don a bright smileātrying your best to show your support for him.Ā
Right now, youāre Han Taesanās girlfriend. Player number 11ās girlfriend.
The match ends with Antonās final goal, and KOZ Academyās team wins 115-113. The entire gym erupts in waves of cheer and heartfelt hugs, every attending person feeling proud of their team, losing or not. You jog down the stairs, heading towards Taesan, whose height stands out in the crowd.Ā
When you reach the end of the stairs, you notice Antonās gaze on you. You glance at him, the weight of past memories dragging you down. At the end of these exact same stairs, you used to run straight to Anton, engulfing him in a hug after a match. You used to kiss his cheek, congratulating him for a successful game. You used to feel like your entire world revolved around him, and that you would be happy with him.Ā
But that was in the past. Now, you can look at Anton with nothing in your heart. You feel nothing but plain resentmentādamning him for the things he did to you. You had thought he was the love of your life, that youād grow old with himābut Anton had other plans, and another girl that he prioritised more than you.Ā
You turn your head away, directing your gaze towards Taesan. Heās talking to his friends, his hair wet from the sweat. Heās grinning proudly, talking about something thatās interesting to boys.Ā
You sigh. Hopefully this whole set-up worksāAnton leaves you alone, the rumours die down, and you can go back to bashing Taesanās head.Ā
And hopefully, you can move on, too. Once and for all.
From the corner of your eyes, you see Anton take a step towards you. Though, what you donāt see is that Taesan is faster. He waves at you, calling your name with a big grin, before running to give you a hug.Ā
Your eyes widen upon the impact, and itās like everything is in slow motion.Ā
Taesan pulls away, ruffling your hair. His eyes crinkle with his grin. āAre you proud of me, darling?ā
Darling.Ā
You gulp.Ā
Thump. Thump. Thump.Ā
You give him a laugh, trying your best to not make it sound staged. Your nose crinkles at the smell of sweaty boys. Taesan notices, of course, and he chuckles.Ā
āSorry, I must smell bad. Iāll be sure to spray on some more deodorant next time.ā
You gaze into Taesanās eyes, his arms still around your waist. Thereās some kind of softness behind his teasing lookāsomething that youāve never seen before.Ā
A small smile forms on your lips, one that youāre unable to hold back. āGood job, Taesan.ā
āYeah?ā Taesan laughs, his eyes forming crescent moons. āThanks, Y/N.ā
He then leans in to whisper, āthatās the first time Iāve heard that from you.ā
You push him away, rolling your eyes. āFuck off, Taesan. Iāll be waiting at the bus stop.ā
Taesan laughs loudly as you stomp away. āBy the way,ā he yells, āyou look good wearing my number, sweetheart!ā
You lower your head, biting your lips to fight two thingsāthe urge to flash the middle finger to the jolly Taesan behind you, and the weird fluttering feeling that erupts in your stomach every time he calls you āsweetheartā.
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
āY/N,ā you turn around, finding a panting Anton in front of you.Ā
Youāre standing in line outside one of the most famous pasta restaurants in the heart of the KOZ School of Medicine square, waiting to buy this one pasta dish youāve been craving for the entire month. You didnāt tell anyone youād be hereānot even Taesan or the girlsāso youāre weirded out by the fact that your ex found you here.
ā...Anton,ā you curtly acknowledge.Ā
āIs it true?ā he asks.Ā
You force your eyes close for a second, wishing that it wasnāt wrong to beat someone up. āWhat?ā
āThat youāre dating Han Taesan. I saw him kissing your cheek last time.ā
Your heart almost stops beating for a second. Almost two months have passed, and almost everyone in the entire campus of KOZ Academy knows that you and Taesan are finally getting tired of fighting each otherāfalling in love instead.Ā
Your plan has passed the soft launch phase, and now, youāre having your nemesis call you sweet, adoring nicknames out in public.Ā
āYes,ā you answer, managing a deadpan expression. āWhat about it?ā
āDo you love him?āĀ
You narrow your eyes at Anton, feeling like if he keeps on shooting questions like this, heād go home with a black eye. āWhy does it matter if I love him or not?ā
āBecause,ā Anton starts, his voice beginning to waver with every following word, āyou used to love me.ā
His words hang in the air, thick with a known, cursed history. You could hear your heart stutter for a split second, but you shake your head, quickly suppressing the feeling. You take in a sharp breath, feeling the heat of old anger rise in your chest. You force yourself to look at Anton, eyes hardening.
āThat was two years ago, Anton,ā you say, your voice detached. āAnd you made sure to end it, remember?ā
Antonās face flickers with somethingāguilt, regret, maybe even a hint of fearābut youāre not interested in seeing it. Youāre sick of itātoo familiar with the way he can spin his words to make himself seem like the victim.
āYou donāt get to do this,ā you continued, lips tightening into a thin line. āYou donāt get to just show up and act like we can pick up where we left off, after what you did with Mina."
Antonās face darkens the moment your old best friendās name leaves your mouth, but you hold his gaze without flinching. Anton opens his mouth, probably to throw another lame and poorly explained excuse that youāve heard before, but youāre faster than he is.Ā
āSave it,ā you snap. āYou donāt have any right to ask me if I love Taesan after what you did. You lost that right the moment you lied to me and slept with her.ā
Anton looks taken aback, as if he hadnāt expected you to bring that up, but obviously, you donāt care. Youāve held your feelings in for so longāleaving them behind quietly to try and move on without a commotion. Youāve spent enough time letting him walk all over you in the pastāyouāre not about to let him do it again.
For a moment, Anton looks like heās about to say something more, but you donāt give him a chance. You turn away, taking a small step back as you glance briefly at the line in front of you. āIām done with this conversation, Anton. You should be, too.ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
THE next morning, after your first class of the day, you sigh as you find yourself waiting outside of a rather packed coffee shopāallegedly Taesanās favourite oneābundled up in Taesanās scarf. Autumn is starting to give way to winter, and as itās doing so, the winds and temperatures are getting crazier. You bury your face further into the softness of Taesanās scarf, letting the mixture of champagne orange, passion fruit, and sugar vanilla attack your senses. Itās disturbing, once the fact that the scarf thatās warming you up belongs to Taesan registers in your head; however, you had no choice. Freezing your nose off was the only other option.Ā
āHey,ā you hear Taesanās voice, turning instantly towards him.Ā
āApple pie latte?ā he says, handing you a warm cup of said coffee. Grabbing it from him, you perk your eyebrows up.Ā
āHow did you know?ā you say, pushing the scarf down. Taesan shrugs, sipping his own drink. You glance at the sticker on his cup: cinnamon maple latte.
āInstincts.ā
You snicker at his reply, rolling your eyes. āCut me some slack.ā
The two of you then walk back towards the law school complex, where both of your classes will be held next. The winds begin to blow, and you find yourself hiding half your face behind Taesanās scarf. You squint your eyes, blinking harshly as the stray strands of hair sting them.Ā
āI love autumn, but not this kind,ā you mumble.Ā
Taesan glances at you, and in one swift motion, he grabs your free hand and shoves it into the pocket of his coat. He interlaces his hand with yours, letting his body warmth transfer to you.Ā
Your eyes widen, your brain slow at processing the situation. You whip your head towards the tall man walking with you, his expression relaxed as ever.Ā
āWhat are you doing?ā you hiss, trying to pull away.Ā
Taesan gives you a look that yells āreally, Y/N?ā. āKeeping you warm?ā
āI donāt need your help,ā you retort, yanking your hand away.Ā
Taesan grabs it back, shoving it into his pocket. This time, his grip on your hand is firmer than before. āI donāt need my girlfriend to freeze to deathāitās going to ruin my reputation.ā
Realisation hits you, again, like a ton of bricks right at the face.Ā
Oh.Ā
āOkay,ā you say quietly, letting him do his thing. You look away, deciding to admire the surrounding golden trees. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself of how this whole āthingā with Taesan is temporaryāand having a personal heat packet isnāt too bad.Ā
Once the two of you reach the lecture hall together, people begin to clearly spectate. You pull your hand away from him, rushing to your usual seat. Taesan, his expression calm as he always is, walks over to his usual seat as wellādirectly behind you.Ā
Then, two minutes before the lecture starts, the person you truly hated comes into view, and decides to sit at the empty seat next to you.Ā
āHi, Y/N,ā your ex, Anton, greets you with the biggest smile on his face. You mentally sobāalready dreading the three hours to come.
You turn away, scooting as far as you could. The memories rush like a flood you canāt stopāreminding you of the heart-tearing pain the boy sitting next to you caused.Ā
āY/N? You alright? You look pale,ā Anton says, probing further.
āItās the weather,ā you reply dully, your lips downturned. You unravel Taesanās scarf from your neck, placing it on your lap. Your eyes fixed onto the lecture, you ignore Antonās attempts to get you conversing with him.Ā
āY/N, are you free after class?ā Anton whispers, twenty minutes into the lecture.Ā
āNo.ā You give him a side glance.
āAnd you donāt even take IT,ā you fake a smile, āso I donāt think you should even be here. With due respect, get lost, yeah?ā
āIām honoured,ā Anton whispers back. The soft smile on his face makes you gag. āYou still remember things about me.ā
āOh, please,ā you grimace, anger beginning to bubble up inside of you. āIād rather make out with Taesan than remember even the tiniest bit ofāā
You suck in your breath sharply, your cheeks flushing at an alarming rate. You had blurted your words out too fast to even register the fact that youāre actually wearing the said personās initials in a necklace āround your neck.Ā
āYouād rather what now, sweetheart?āĀ
Hearing Taesanās voice, you can almost see his smug smirk decorating that annoyingly attractive face of his.Ā
Your eyes widen.Ā
I did not just admit that.
You turn to Taesan for a moment, flashing him a sheepish smile. You quickly spin back to face the lecture, forcing yourself to focus.Ā
After the lecture concluded, you find yourself stuck in a sticky situationāAnton just canāt let you go out.Ā
āDo you want to go and grab lunch together? Itās pretty late for lunch, and I know your stomach gets upset easily if you donāt eat,ā you wince upon hearing his soft tone.Ā
You frown, hating the fact that Anton knows almost a lot of things about you. āNo, Anton, Iām sure I saidāā
āShe said no, Lee, Iām sure even a stupid motherfucker can understand.ā
Seeing Antonās eyes almost pop out at the sight of Taesan next to you, youāre sure that you look the same. You turn sharply towards Taesan, who has his hand perfectly placed on your back. The look on his face is fierce and scary, like heās about to completely destroy Anton exactly where heās standing.Ā Ā
āHan,ā Anton addresses him curtly. āI didnāt know that youāre onā¦ good terms with Y/N.ā
You fidget with the charm on your dĆ©colletage, collecting every bit of energy you have to maintain a stoic expression.Ā
Taesan flashes a sly smirk, pride radiating from his eyes as the corners of Antonās lips twitch. āWhy? Is it important to you who Iām close to?ā
āNo, but given your history with Y/NāI donāt want her to get hurt,ā Anton blathers, āso Iām gladly asking you toāā
āWhat? Fuck off?ā Taesan scoffs. Your eyes bulge, somehow not expecting Taesanās choice of words to be so vulgar. āI think thatās what youāre supposed to do, Lee.ā
āY/N,ā Anton says, desperation vivid in his voice. He grabs your wrist, and you instinctively step back. āCāmon, letās go. I know you donāt like this stupid asshole hereāā
Before you could even act, Taesan steps in front of you, shoving Anton to the floor. The students who are still lingering around stop to look. You couldnāt hold in your gaspāTaesan looks extremely angry, you swear you could see fire in his eyes.Ā
A thought clicks into your head.Ā
Taesan is the it-boy, of course heās good at acting.
You take a step back, weirded by the heavy feeling of disappointment that begins to cloud your heart as soon as you remember the arrangement.Ā
Itās just acting, Y/N. Get it together.Ā
āDonāt touch her, bastard,ā you hear Taesan hiss before he turns to you. Anger still lingering around, you watch with silence as Taesan relaxes the tension in his jaw. In a mirroring silence, he gestures for you to follow him out. You nod.
As you turn on your heel, Anton calls out, visibly irritated.Ā
āY/N,ā he says, āwhatās going on?ā
You give him a mocking smile. You swing Taesanās scarf around your neck. āI donāt think I owe you an explanation, Anton.ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
AS you and Taesan walk out of the lecture hall, you canāt ignore the heavy weight settling in your chest. It keeps replaying in your mind: the way Taesan stepped in, fiercely protectiveāitās all an act, right? You sneak a glance at Taesan, but his face is unreadable, his jaw still slightly clenched from the encounter.
āTaesanā¦ you didnāt have to do that,ā you mumble, playing with the hem of his scarf.
Taesan exhales through his nose, his shoulders rising slightly. āI didnāt like the way he was looking at you,ā he then adds under his breath, āfucking bastard.ā
You blink, unintentionally slowing your steps. Thatāsā¦ different from what you expected.
āTaesan,ā you try again, but he shoves his hands into his pockets, picking up the pace.
You know you should just let it go, but the air between the two of you feels heavier than it was before. Was it just an act? Maybe it wasāand that Taesanās acting skills are as good as the rom-com actorsābut something about the way he had looked at Anton; like he was seconds away from doing more than just shoving him to the ground.Ā
It feels tooā¦ real.
A sudden gust of wind cuts through your coat, making you shiver. Instantly, Taesan grabs your wrist and pulls you into a nearby convenience store.
āSit,ā he orders, disappearing for a moment. You watch him move through the aisles, confusion twisting in your chest. You take a seat exactly where he ordered you to, your head fuzzy from the mixture of confusing, unnamed emotions.
When he returns, he kneels slightly, pressing a warm drink and a heat pack into her hands, his fingers lingering just a second too long.
āYouāre hopeless,ā he murmurs, shaking his head. āFirst my scarf, now this.ā
You gasp dramatically, rolling your eyes as your lips twitch, your heart knocking against your ribs. āYouāre the one who keeps giving me things.ā
Taesan just hums in response, his gaze locking onto yours. His usual unreadable expression softens, something almost unreadable flickering in his eyes.
Your grip tightens on the cup, trying to shake off the way your body reacts to his warmth. This whole thing with Taesan was supposed to be temporary. So why did it feel like something had changed?
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
DONGMIN takes several deep breaths, his eyes shut. The jazz music plays in the background, and the buzz of the cafe calms him down.Ā
No wonder Y/N likes this place.Ā
Dongmin opens his eyes, finding himself staring at you ordering drinks and some food for the two of you. You had dragged him here as soon as you finished your drink at the convenience store, repeating that you needed to treat him to some food. Your voice rings in his head, telling him that he needed to follow you to the coffee shop, to cool off his steam.Ā
āDo you like apple pie?ā you ask, setting a plate of two slices of said dessert, accompanied by two scoops of vanilla ice cream.
āWhy do you even ask if youāve already gotten it? Seems like my preference doesnāt matter,ā Dongmin replies, putting on the usual smirk.Ā
Your eyes widen and he chuckles.Ā
āWell,ā you huff, āI like apple pieāand itās impossible to find someone who doesnāt.ā
āAlright,ā Dongmin laughs, and it hits. His laughter dies down as the realisation sinks ināwatching you devour your slice of apple pie like itās the only food youāll eat until the end of time.Ā
Dongmin, as he puts a bite of his food into his mouth, realises how messed up he is. He realises how often a hearty laugh escapes him when heās with youāhow a flustered, frustrated mess you make him.Ā
āWhy are you being nice to me?ā Dongmin asks. He pokes his fork absentmindedly into the crust of the apple pie, second guessing his question the moment it leaves him.Ā
You and he had always, always been rivalsāa pair thatās never meant to get along. Heād always find you muttering curses and throwing glares in his direction; and heād always find himself trying his best to reciprocate your disdain for him.Ā
Dongmin does hate you, too.Ā
He hates how youāre so confident, so diligent, so talented. He despises how hard you work, how determined you are, how you seem to always effortlessly bring him down and defeat him in academics. He feels the most intense dislike for youāwhenever you walk in the room, he feels like the world is about to explode, along with his sanity.Ā
Dongmin hates, with a burning passion, how he canāt stop himself from falling in love with you. He absolutely loathes the way you smile, the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh, and the way you look at himāwith such fiery determination thatās enough to knock him off his feet. He completely hates the way that he has to keep his tongue sharp, and his attitude insufferable, for you to give him a sliver of your attention. He perfectly hates the way itās impossible for him to let you know that he doesnāt hate you, at all.Ā
Dongmin watches you open your mouth to reply, yet you donāt for a few moments. You return his gaze, uncertainty playing around in her eyes.Ā
āWhat do you mean?ā you ask, tilting your head in confusion. āWeāre just eating apple pie, Taesan,ā you laugh sheepishly.Ā
For the first time, Dongmin doesnāt have an immediate answer. He swallows the bite of apple pie in his mouth, unsure of what he should say next. His smirk fades and hesitation engulfs him.
You notice this, of course, and your frown deepens. Though, before you could do anything, JaehyunāDongminās friend, suddenly appears.
He greets Dongmin, patting his shoulder. āYo, Taesan, long time no see! Waitāā he pauses, laying his eyes on you. āWait, am I dreaming? You two? Sitting together? Laughing? Are pigs flying now?ā
You immediately shake your head, laughing along with Jaehyun. Dongmin, on the other hand, is dazed. He stays silent, still unsure of what to say. Heās finding everything peculiarāthe way heās unable to say anything, the way that his heart is thumping loudly against his chest at the mention of you as his girlfriend.Ā
He watches you politely say goodbye to Jaehyun, gaining certainty with every beat of his heart.Ā
His little crush on you is resurfacing, after two years of pushing it down with faked hatred.Ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
AFTER Jaehyun leaves, you let yourself sneak a glance at Taesan, whoās absentmindedly poking holes in his already destroyed pie crust, avoiding your gaze. You notice his oddly quiet stateāthe Taesan you know would never miss the chance to throw in a witty remark.Ā
You throw him a glare, slightly hoping itād make him knock out of his trance. You set your fork down with an audible clink. āYouāre being weird. I mean, you always are insufferably weird, but this is even weirder.ā
Taesan scoffs, lifting his drink to his lips. āAnd youāre being annoying. Paranoid.ā
You cross your arms, an annoyed grimace forming on your face. āAm I?ā
Taesan holds your gaze for a moment too long, something flickering in his eyes before he looks away. āMaybe not.ā
Oh.
You lean back, sighing dramatically. āFine. I donāt get what you being weird has with me being paranoid, but yeah, Iām totally being paranoid. Definitely imagining things,ā you scoff sarcastically.
Taesan hums in agreement. āYou do that a lot.ā
You choke on air. Glaring at Taesan, you retort, āyouāre infuriating.ā
āAnd yet, here you are, sharing dessert with me,ā Taesan smirks, tilting his head.Ā
You pause, blinking profusely.
Thatā¦ is a valid point. How did you even get here? You and Taesan are supposed to be rivals. Arenāt you supposed to hate each other?
Your stomach twists, and suddenly, you find it difficult to swallow your final bites of apple pie.
After moments of deafening silence, you say, your voice slightly wavering, āyouāre unbelievably good at dodging questions, Taesan.ā
You bring your drink to your lips, hoping that you sounded casual.Ā
Taesan looks up from his finished plate of apple pie, smirking as he leans back. āOh, yeah? Have you ever considered that youāre too good at asking too many questions, and itās insufferable?ā
Your eyes widen slightly, flickering to the way that his eyes glare vaguely at you. āMaybe I am,ā you admit quietly, ābut youāre dodging the real ones.ā
Taesanās smirk falters a little bit, just for a second, and thereās something unrecognisable in his eyes. Something you canāt put a name on.Ā
Maybe a shift in the air. Maybe itās just your imagination. Or maybe itās because your heart is racing just a little too fast.
Youāre so focused on trying to read Taesanās expressions that you donāt notice the way your voice softens. āSoā¦ if this whole thing is an act, why do I keep feeling like you actually care?ā
You mentally hit yourself. That isnāt what you meant to sayāand itās certainly not what you would say in front of Taesan.
Though, itās out before you can stop yourself. The words hang in the air, heavy and uncertain.
Taesan freezes, his eyes widening with a vulnerability for a fraction of a second. Then, just as quickly as it came, his guard comes back up. āLike weāve discussed before, itās an act. Nothing more.ā
His voice is stern and plain, and his expression is stoic, but you catch the tremble in his hand as heās fiddling with his fork.Ā
That, somehow, doesnāt sit right with you.Ā
You learn forward, the pendant swinging against your dĆ©colletage, your expression more serious now. āThen why do you care so much?ā
You watch him closely, catching the tightening in his jaw and the way his hand proceeds to rest on the table, fingers anxiously tapping against the wood. Taesan doesnāt answer immediately, and instead, he looks away to drift his gaze to the window.
Your chest suddenly tightens. Heās acting like this is nothing, but you certainly feel itāthe crack in the walls youāve both constructed carefully against each other. Itās a tug at the back of your mind, a repeating whisper youāve been trying so hard to push away.
And yet, the silence between you feels louder than ever.
Minutes pass by and the silence gets louder and louder. Youāre lost in your own thoughtsārealising just how much youāre affected by Taesan; just how much more youāre feeling than you want to admit. In the silence, youāre wondering, are you just imagining all this? Maybe itās just you, maybe itās the fact that youāre finding something more from this fake relationship you have with Taesan, your nemesis.Ā
Though, thereās something that you canāt deny: the fact that your chest tightens with fluttering butterflies every time he gets too close, every time his words shift to something softer than usual, itās something that makes your heart trip in your chest.
āY/N,ā Taesan calls, his voice softer than anticipated, and youāre pulled out of your train of thought. You look at him slowly, uncertain and afraid of whatās to come. He pauses, as if heās unsure of what to say next. āWhat ifā¦ I told you Iām not sure if I can pretend much longer?āĀ
His gaze finally meets yours, and for a moment, thereās no maskājust the raw sincerity in his eyes.
Your breath catches in your throat, your heart skipping a beat. You open your mouth, trying to say somethingābut nothing comes out. The evident truth in his words hits you like an ocean wave on a sunny day, and you canāt help but feel something is shifting between you both.
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
THE next few weeks pass by like a ridiculously large time-skip in a movie. Youāre doing things like you usually doāattend classes, do mootings, send in assignments, study for exams. Though, thereās one big thing in your life that you canāt ignoreāTaesan, your fake-dating arrangement, and the lingering, unspoken tension between the two of you. The first week after the coffee shop episode, you couldnāt sleep even a winkāyour mind kept on replaying the scenes over and over again, the way you caught Taesanās guard almost falling down. Youāre sure you felt it too, the cracks in the walls youāve built against himāeven for a short moment.Ā
At school, youāre hyper aware and extra distracted by Taesan. Heās doing his part of the agreement well, acting like he agreed he would. Every glance from him feels like a load of unspoken words, and the air between you two feels heavy. Every day you ponder, unsure of what to do with the new, fragile tension thatās settled between you and Taesan.
Today is the sameāeverything passes in a blur of lectures, assignments, and studying. You drag your heavy footsteps out of the room, your head spinning at the thought of the many assignments waiting for you. You look up, and the moment you step into the hallway, you see Taesan leaning against the wall, phone in hand, looking as calm as ever.Ā
You walk near him, and your eyes meetāyou see a flicker of something thereāa tension, a question neither of you have the answer to.Ā
āY/N,ā Taesan greets you with a casual, unreadable smile. You pause in your steps, turning to face him.
āHi,ā you reply quite timidly. Youāre trying to sound casual, but you can hear the slight hitch in your voice. Thereās no pretending this isnāt different now. Thereās no pretending you didnāt almost cross a line last time.Ā
Taesan takes a final glance at his phone before shoving it into his pocket. āStill pretending this is just an act?ā he asks, his voice surprisingly soft but laced with something familiar, almost teasing.
You pause, your breath stuck in your throat. Your heart, yet again, skips a beat, and you try to brush it off by laughing nervously. āMe? Pretending? Iām not pretending,ā you say, and itās directed more towards yourself than to him.
Youāre not sure whoās trying to convince who anymore.
Taesan looks taken aback. He blinks profusely before putting his usual, calm expression back on. āYeah,ā he whispers, nodding, āIāll see you around, Y/N.ā
You watch him walk away, heart twisting in the weirdest way.Ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
DONGMIN hates the way everything is now. Why canāt he just tell you everything? Why canāt he just tell you that he isnāt pretending, that he actually cares?
He wants to stop everythingāgoing back to shoving insults at your face might be the safest option of them all. Yet, Dongmin finds himself caring for you in the little waysāwrapping his scarf around your neck, adjusting the placement of your bangs with a simple ruffle, placing a tin of coffee and bread in front of you whenever you seem exhausted with studying, sliding post-its to you with his handwriting reminding you to take breaks when needed. He still finds his heart racing upon seeing you; the way your lips pout when youāre deep in thought, the way you smile and laugh so adorably upon hearing a funny joke from your friends, the way youāre still so cute even when frustrated.Ā
As he walks away, Dongmin fights with his own heart. Why was he acting like this? Itās so clear that youāre expecting something more, but why is he pushing you away?Ā
Dongmin takes a deep breath. Yeah, heās scared. Heās afraid that maybe itās all in his head, maybe youāre the one acting so well and itās just gotten to him.Ā
Dongmin swears to get himself together, but it looks like heās going to need more than just mental affirmations.Ā
The next day, he misses his alarm, for the first time in forever, and is running late to his 9 AM lecture. Heās speed walking through students, dodging them with a bag hanging on one shoulder and his hair still partially wet. Just as heās about to near the entrance of the Law building, he hears raised voices nearby. He puts his hood up, his first instinct is to ignore it allāheās got no time to eavesdrop on peopleās business. However, he recognises one of the two quarrelling voicesāyours.Ā
Dongminās steps come to a halt, and he turns to face you. His eyes slightly widen and his shoulders begin to tense as he sees you and Anton standing a few feet away, locked in an argument. Heās a bit too far away to hear the full conversation, yet he catches some bits of it.
Youāre standing at your full height, stiffly in front of Anton, arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury. Anton, on the opposite side of you, no longer has that sickening, innocent smileāinstead, heās flashing you a mocking smirk.Ā
The argument is already reaching its peak, yet Dongmin is quick to analyse the situation just by picking up a few bits.Ā
āYou think youāre really something, donāt you?ā Anton taunts.
You scoff. Dongmin could tell youāre offended, yet the mask you put on really makes a difference. āAt least I donāt have to put other people down to feel important.ā
Anton scoffs back, āplease. You act like youāre above all this, but youāre just as desperate for attention as everyone else.ā
Dongmin clenches his jaw, watching the argument unfold as his fingers begin to twitch.Ā
You give Anton a mocking laugh, stepping forward. āI donāt care what you think, Anton Lee. I donāt care if you think I donāt love Taesan, because what matters is my own feelings, not yours. And Iām done wasting my time on you.ā
Before you could turn away and enter the building, Anton grabs your wrist.Ā
Itās not aggressive, but itās enough. Enough to make Dongmin see red.
Everythingās a blurāone second later, heās towering in front of Anton, his eyes glaring daggers.Ā
āLet her go,ā his voice is low and threatening, as sharp as a blade.Ā
Anton looks up, initially startled, but as soon as he sees Dongmin, he rolls his eyes. His hand still around your wrist, he says with a sneer, ālook whoās here, Y/Nās knight in shining armour! Oh, so great, always the hero.ā
Dongmin is too busy counting down the ways he could destroy Antonās life to be noticing how immediate the warmth creeps up your cheeks. Dongmin, in one fluid motion, steps closer, standing between you and Anton.Ā
āDid you hear me?ā his voice drops deadly lower than before, his posture relaxed yet his eyes are dangerous. āLet. Go.ā
Anton huffs, roughly letting go of your hand. He shakes his head. āYou two are seriously something else,ā he mutters before storming away.Ā
You and Dongmin stand next to each other, cautiously eyeing Anton until he disappears from sight. For that moment, none of you say anything.
āWhat was that for?ā you say suddenly, crossing your arms. āI didnāt need you to step in.ā
Dongmin shoves his hood down to his neck, raising his eyebrow. Feeling slightly irritated, he scorns. āYeah? Looked like you were having a great time.ā
You roll your eyes, scoffing, but something pinches Dongminās heart as he notices thereās no real bite behind it. āIām fineāI had it all handled.ā
Silence.Ā
Dongmin exhales sharply, words shooting out of his mouth without second thought. āI know. Itās justāāĀ
He stops, his eyes landing on your wrist. Closes his mouth.Ā
You wait for a few moments, before warily asking. āWhat? Just what?ā
Dongmin hesitates. Suddenly, itās all he can push out of his throat. Heās already there, halfway crossing the line heās put between you and him for the past two years.Ā
And then, it justā¦ slips out.Ā
āI just canāt stand it, okay?ā
Your frown deepens, confused. āStandā¦ what?ā
Dongmin lets out a frustrated breath, turning sharply to completely face you. āI canāt stand seeing you with people like that fucking bastard. I canāt stand watching you get into these stupid situations. And I really, really canāt stand how much Iāā
His eyes widen, and his words stumble upon a stop. Dongmin stammers, realising what he was just about to say.Ā
āTaesan,ā you call, gently, hope suddenly shimmering in your eyes. āHow much you what?ā
Dongmin freezes. Heās silent, tongue frozen, unable to utter another word.
He canāt say it.Ā
Instead, he runs a hand through his hair, muttering curses under his breath.Ā
āYou know what?āĀ
āTaesanāā
āNext time,ā he says quickly, in a softer voice, ādonātā¦ waste your time on a guy like him.ā
Your eye contact is still intact, you open your mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. Your eyes widen for a split secondāas if youāre catching on to the feelings displayed, unknowingly, on Dongminās face.Ā
His concern is real.
āW-we should go,ā you stammer instead, gesturing to the Law building.Ā
Dongmin nods. He grabs your backpack from you, signalling for you to walk in first. āYeah. Letās go.āĀ
You force yourself to walk as swiftly as possible to the lecture hall, heart pounding, mind racing. Behind you, Dongminās entire body is tense. Heās finally realising he canāt keep his feelings for you hidden forever.
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
THE next day, you canāt stop thinking about Taesanāand whatever he was about to say to you. Your mind races with a million different thoughts throughout the day. What if he actually feels the same? What if youāre not the only one looking for something more in this fake arrangement?
However, given that exams are looming closer, youāre only given a short amount of time to dwell on your thoughts. After your last class of the day, you find yourself cooped up in the library, studying the rest of the day away. Several of your friends join you, too.Ā
The study group grows, joined by both your friends and Taesanāsāthough, you didnāt even realise that Taesan is sitting across you the entire day, until everyone starts leaving one by one.Ā
By midnight, itās only you and him. You donāt look up, but you can feel your heart thumping faster than usual. Youāre hyper aware of your surroundingsāhow close he is, how his scent feels comforting yet intimidating, and how his presence is reminding you of something that youāre too afraid to admit.Ā
āY/N,ā you open your eyes to someone gently shaking your shoulder, the reality of things crashing onto you all at once. You lift your head up, realising that you fell asleep in the middle of reviewing a past paper. Your eyes meet with Taesanās concerned gaze.Ā
His voice is low and soft, as if itās only for you. āLetās take a break. Youāve been snoozing off way too many times.ā
Your heart is beating a little faster than usual, but you agree. Taesanās request seems too casual, and he looks like he needs a break too.Ā
You follow his lead, walking a little bit behind him to the convenience store thatās still open in campus grounds. Heās silent, observing you and letting you pick anything you want before paying for both your things and his.Ā
āGo sit,ā he says, holding your instant tteokbokki package in hand, along with his instant noodles. āIāll heat these up.ā
Taesan quickly moves to the microwave before you can say anything in retaliation, a sign that you take seriously. Heās not in the mood for any fights.Ā
You take a seat, and soon after, Taesan joins you. He puts your instant meal in front of you, breaking your chopsticks for you.Ā
āHere,ā he says, his voice quiet. āCareful, the tteok is still hot.ā
He then slips his coat around you before turning back to his own beverages.Ā
You find yourself staring at him, long after heās handed you your things. You watch him, peacefully releasing his tensionārunning a hand through his hair, chugging down a cup of coffee.Ā
Everything around you looks like it has a blurred filter on, yet one thing is crystal clear: Taesan, and his evident care for you. The longer you stare at him, the more you realise.
Heās always been the one. Heās always been there.Ā
It hits you harder than any bad grade has ever done.Ā
Taesan has always been like thisāquietly looking out for you, quietly caring for you.Ā
All this while, all the banter, the little arguments, moments, and glancesāitās not just rivalry. Itās not just the fact that he always finds a way to make you all grumbly and irritated. Itās not just the fact that, even back when you were with Anton, heād always find a way to show his care for you.Ā
Itās not just the fact that you enjoy his company, even if he makes you feel like you want to bang your head against the wall.Ā
You like him.Ā
You like Han Taesan.Ā
You quickly turn your head away, blood rushing to your head as soon as the realisation hits you. You stuff a few bites of instant tteokbokki into your mouth, wanting to quickly get rid of whatever this warm, refreshing feeling is.Ā
āCan you stop looking at me like that, L/N?āĀ
You cough, shocked at how his sudden comment breaks through the almost comforting silence. All the past moments youāve had with himāthe banter, the insults, the argumentsārun through your head as soon as your last name, what Taesan had always called you, reaches your ears.
āLike what?ā emboldened by the awakening of your feelings, you retort, your tone more challenging than you intended.Ā
Taesan snaps, pushing his chair back, raking a frustrated hand through his hair.Ā
āLike Iām your fucking boyfriend.ā
āWhat?ā youāre confused, not expecting that out of his mouth. āWhat are youāā
āLike youāre waiting for me to say something that I know I canāt take back.ā
āSay it, then.ā
You say, challenging him. It feels sentimentalālike the old days, where all you did when you met Taesan was throw taunting words at him. But at the same time, the words come out of your mouth without realisingādaring the two of you to finally cross the line.Ā
āI like you, okay? I probably love you at this point, I donāt know. I donāt know when it started, but I do. And Iāā He exhales sharply, his voice softer. āI donāt want to keep pretending I donāt.ā
The world stops spinning and you stare at him, blank.Ā
Your tongue feels numb, your heart racing at a million miles per hour.Ā
You feel the same, youāre sure, but you donāt know how to respond. Do you smile and say it back? Do you tease him, calling him an idiot like you always do?Ā
āI didnāt mean to fall for you,ā you catch Taesan muttering.Ā
You smile. āMe too,ā you say softly.Ā
Taesan lifts his head immediately, sharply turning to you with widened eyes. ā... pardon?ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
THE next few days feel like a refreshing spring breeze in the peak of winter, yet the air is filled with a cute awkwardness. After the confession, neither of you explicitly announce to one another that the two of you are a real couple nowāyet your interactions feel new and unscripted, but no one exactly is making the first move.Ā
Of course, your friends notice before the two of you do.Ā
Youāre sitting at the food hall together with Yunjin and Sophia, eating breakfast. Youāre halfway through your pancakes, and Taesanāor Dongmin, as you call him nowāsuddenly takes a seat next to you.Ā
āMind if I join, girls?ā he asks, a charming grin on his face. Heās asking the table, yet his gaze is directed to you. You bite your lip shyly, nodding.Ā Ā
āSure, make yourself at home,ā Yunjin says, her words laced with teasing. She watches with eagle eyes as Dongmin puts all of the sliced bananas from his serving of pancakes onto yours, knowing that you especially enjoy them with your breakfast pancakes. She snorts at the obvious look of love in Dongminās eyes, more evident now that he isnāt shoving insults at your face. āSo, you two are really dating now?ā
You choke on your bite of pancake, immediately blurting out,
āNo!ā
āYes.ā
You sharply turn to Dongmin, who has a smug look on his face. Itās the one look on his face that youāre used to, yet thereās a tint of pink on his cheeks. The edge of his smirk twitches, threatening to form into a cute, lovesick smile.Ā
ā...I see,ā Sophia interrupts your awkward eye contact, sighing dramatically.Ā
āWeāre dating?ā you ask Dongmin acutely, your brows connecting in an embarrassed frown.Ā
āI donāt know,ā Dongmin shrugs casually, the look in his eyes teasing. āAre we?ā
The blush that instantly creeps up your cheeks tells you the answer. You look away, suddenly focused on the way youāre cutting your pancakes. Dongminās laugh echoes to your left, and your friendsā send you teasing looks.Ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
A few months later, on the first week back after winter break, you go on a walk around campus with your boyfriend, Han Dongmin. It feels weird, calling him yours now. Just almost half a year ago, you were fighting your ego to have your nemesis fake-date you in order to intimidate your ex into leaving you and your life alone. Now, that same thorn in your side has become the light of your life, the apple of your eye. Now, the two of you are in something thatās not written on a flimsy contract.
Dongmin had also helped clear out the rumours surrounding youāin the most annoying, Han Taesan wayāannouncing the truth about Anton by spreading it like a rumour to everyone. You still get second-hand embarrassment remembering that day, bombarded by questions and apologies from acquaintances and people youāve only seen around.Ā
āYou know,ā you say dreamily, distracted by your train of thought, āyouāre so annoyingābut I love you.ā
Dongmin freezes, his steps coming to an immediate halt. You, too, freeze in your steps as you realise youāre a few steps ahead of him now. You turn around, eyebrows perked up. āWhatās wrong, Dongmin?ā
Dongmin.Ā
The sound of your voice calling his birth name repeats in his mind, like a favourite song on loop. He stares, unable to say anything. His eyes fall on the pendant dangling from your neck, one that you started wearing due to the fake-dating arrangement. He remembered insisting that you take it off, so that he can buy you a new one later, but you said that itās special so you wonāt take it off.Ā
I love you.Ā
Dongmin feels a smile slowly bloom on his face.Ā
She said it. She didnāt even hesitate. Itās like itās the easiest thing in the world.Ā
His face softens, jogging up to you. He gives you a cheeky smile.Ā
āSay that again.ā
You frown. āWhat again?ā
āThe first part.ā
āWhatāā you pause, eyes widening as you get what heās talking about. Heat rushes up your cheeks, warming your face despite Dongminās scarf wrapped around it. āIāā
āYeah,ā Dongmin says, smirking as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. āMe too.ā
You bury yourself into the familiar scent of Dongminās scarfĀ as he kisses your cheek.Ā
āFuck you, Han Dongmin,ā you grumble, ignoring the obvious butterflies in your stomach.Ā
ćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā Ėćć ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āć
¤ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā³į§ ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā āŗ
THAT weekend, you and Dongmin are eating lunch together at your favourite coffee shop. Dongmin had said that the vibes there makes him sleepy, and tried to bring you to eat at one of the more famous restaurants near the KOZ School of Engineering, yet the plan backfires on him when the line is certainly too long.Ā
Now, the two of you are back at your favourite coffee shop, sipping warm cinnamon lattes.Ā
āSee?ā you tease, smiling cheekily. āI told you this place is the best.ā
Dongmin rolls his eyes, taking a big spoonful of the chocolate cinnamon roll on your plate. āI want to eat some real food, like kimchi jjigae, not these sweet chocolate desserts,ā he complains, though he canāt hide the fact that he secretly loves it.Ā
āYet youāre the one finishing my cinnamon roll,ā you retort, letting him subconsciously finish your dessert. Youāre familiar with his love for chocolate.
Dongmin flashes you an innocent smile, shrugging. āNot my fault.ā
Comfortable silence engulfs the two of you, letting you bask in each otherās presence. Suddenly, Dongmin leans closer, adjusting the place of the H.D pendant on your dĆ©colletage. Frozen, you watch him lean back into his seat, smiling as he admires you.Ā
āYou look good today,ā he murmurs, āactually, you look good everyday.ā
An undeniable tint of pink colours your face. āIām literally wearing a black turtleneck sweater, Dongmin.ā
His gaze softens. āLike the first time you sat next to me, three years ago, during our foundation year.ā
Your eyes widen, your mind replaying the memory, fresh like it happened yesterday. āYouā¦ remember?āĀ
āOf course,ā Dongmin replies, his smile delicate.Ā
āI even remember the day you walked up to me, confident and all. I thought you were going to brag to my face that you won first place for the quiz we had the day before, but then you told me to fake date you.ā
You almost spit out the coffee from your mouth. āHan Dongmin!ā you hiss. āDonāt remind meā¦ it was so stupid.ā
āStupid?ā Dongmin asks, tilting his head. The signature cocky smirk is back on his face. āAre you sure about that?ā
āYeahā¦ā you sigh, āI mean, I couldāve resolved the matter by myself, you knowāā
āBut you know that Iām the best option,ā Dongmin cuts you off, smug. You roll your eyes.
āI donāt think itās stupid, though,ā he continues, his expression softer. Moreā¦ raw. āTo be honest, I think I was ecstatic that you walked up to me that day.ā
āWhy?ā you ask croakily.Ā
āāCause Iāve always liked you, Y/N. I always have. I just donāt understand where things went wrongāmaybe itās the way I thought teasing you would gain me your attention at first. It did. But then, you became used to my teasing and thought of me as a threatāmaybe ācause Iām smart as hell, tooābut yeah. I donāt know how to say it but, all of that hatred wasā¦ pretend.ā
You blink at him, too shocked to process his words. You try to reply, but mere stuttering comes out, and your face turns bright red.Ā
Dongmin notices this, of course, and he turns on his shameless, impudent grin. āBesides, you said youāre going to grant me any wish that I have, right?ā
Oh.Ā
You inhale sharply. How could you forget? You immediately bring out your phone, checking the balance in your bank account. Itās quite a luxury, due to you working a few part time jobs during your break and whenever you canābut you certainly donāt think itās fit for whatever grand wish Dongmin is about to demand from you.Ā
āFine,ā you huff, āonly because itās part of ourā¦ old contract.ā
āOld contract, huh?ā Dongmin wheezes, already laughing hard. You frown, fighting back a smile.Ā
āWhy are you always laughing whenever I speak, dumbass?ā
āHey,ā Dongmin pauses his laughter, flicking your forehead gently. It doesnāt even hurt, but you gasp dramatically, and he laughs it off. āItās babe for you, sweet girl. And, Iām not laughing at you. Iām just admiring how cute and funny you are.ā
Babe, huh?
You snort, hiding a smile. āFine.ā
āAnyway, speaking of the old contract,ā Dongmin grins, āwhatās the new one, then?ā
āYou havenāt even told me what sort of dumb, overpriced thing you want for your wish,ā you say, lips set in a grim line. āAnd now you want another one?ā
āMy wish, huh?ā
The unreadable look on his face makes you brace yourself and your wallet.
āThen, my darling, this is my wish.ā
Dongmin leans forward, brushing his lips against yours. Itās subtle, short and sweet, but significant enough for you to realise it allāthe reality of your feelings and his. He lingers for a while before sitting back in his chair.Ā
āSo,ā he says coolly, ignoring the plain blush streaked across his face. āCan you grant me the wish? To kiss you anytime, and anywhere I want?ā
āBasically, physical affection can be done anytime?ā you say, quoting what this man in front of you said months ago, when both of you first agreed on the fake-dating situation. The whole absurd set-up that brought the two of you to where you are, today.Ā
Dongmin laughs, clearly impressed. āYeah,ā he nods.Ā
You give him a warm smile, glad that youāre finally able to follow your heartās desires, and to not put up a wall of defense around him anymore.Ā
āWish granted.ā
ā Ā© htaesan, 2025.
ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā ā want more like this? check out the ššššššššš
#š¬ ć š ššØš šØš„šāš¦ š„ššš¦ ā¢į“ā¢ !#Ā» šāā¬ ) šš ššššššššš š ā ā„ļø#LILIā„ļøSOPH š šš¼šŗš¶š²šš¼š½š½š²šæšāŖāŖ ā ĖoĖ#this was so wonderful i could rant about it for ages#i love lili&thisfic šµāš«šµāš«šµāš«#sososo talented!!!#thats my girl <3
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i digged up in my notes and guess what
Kunikida HEADCANONS āš part 2!!! + some other characters at the end!!!
- he absolutly hates having his hair down and having his bangs in front of his face like in the oav so he put heavy amont of hair gel that makes his hair feel kinda like cardboard
- he was a troublemaker as a kid
- he's cisgender in a very transgender way. he considers himself a boy only because he was born as one and never really thought about it or feel any connexion to it despite having a schlong. like he's kinda gender apathetic
- it's not a rat tail!!! it's some sort of weird jellyfish haircut he only ties the lower layer and use way too much hair gel
- during his earlier years at the agency he used to have depressive episodes, where he forgot his ideals and bedrotted for days. now he feels so awful about it that he doesn't allow himself to take such breaks
- he likes poetry, mostly romanticism and naturalism. he sometimes writes some himself and has a notebook for it. Dazai found it and thinks his writing style is cringe and corny (he's kinda right...)
- he has a weird laugh, like an ugly one but it's cute
- once he came up with a schedule for katai and katai didn't even look at it
now just random dump of silly hcs i made up about the cast
- atsushi climbs the stairs on all four (even outside...)
- when someone shows him a silly video of a cat falling he takes it personally and answer something like "IT'S NOT FUNNY!! HE HURT HIMSELFš”"
- the type of guy to bite his nails until it bleed and peel the skin of his lips and kunikida swats his hand when he does
- fukuchi always has a favorite in the hunting dogs, sometimes it's tachihara, sometimes teruko, sometimes jouno but it's never tecchou. they're all kinda his children and tecchou is the least favoriteš
- he got fangs like a cat. he's literally just a big cat
- tachihara saw fukuchi as a father figure. he used to admire him a lot and think he was super cool so he sometimes copied his posture or mannerisms. im saying that bcs of this artwork! like look he's literally copying him they're so cuteš
so imagine how absolutly disappointed he was when he learnt he was kamui.. and when the man he kinda saw like his dad stabbed his eyes... :/ womp womp
- jouno believes he is the most beautiful mesmerizing creature to have ever blessed this planet
- natsume is trans!!! he's a calico cat!!! calico cats are at 99.9% females!!! NATSUME IS AFAB
- he's katai's dad. don't ask me why it's just that scene where he shows up at katai's house they got such a cute dynamic he's his father in my head
- ango got the worst eye correction ever. probably has bifocal glasses for staying on his computer for so long
- kyu does age regression, because this is NOT a 13 years old
- katai is an avid reddit user. he is not the same person online his digital footprint is ass
- i feel like he would love shoujo and slice of life anime that are girl lead like k-on, lucky star, nichijou or azumanga daioh. but not in a weird way. he would envy feminity, how in touch with their own feelings they are, and women frienship and intimacy, he wishes he could experience that too
- he loves cats and wishes he could adopt one but he knows that he wouldn't be able to take care of it in his state and would probably forget to feed it
#bsd#kunikida doppo#bungo stray dogs#bsd kunikida#bungou stray dogs#bsd headcanons#bungou stray dogs headcanons#bsd atsushi#atsushi nakajima#natsume soseki#ango sakaguchi#fukuchi ouchi#yumeno kyuusaku#bsd q#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#katai tayama#bsd katai#hunting dogs bsd#tachihara michizou#jouno saigiku
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MOODBOARDS ā STEVE HARRINGTON + SWIM ATHLETE
"Unless one of you three can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, thenā¦" | Stranger Things S04E06 ā The Dive
#steve harrington#steveharringtonedit#dailysteveharrington#stranger things#strangerthingsedit#tvstrangerthings#harringtondaily#joe keery#joekeeryedit#mine: moodboards#was making a moodboard of my fic#which includes steve + swim practice#but then i just couldn't resist making this#bc it just makes me feel some type of way#we were robbed i tell u#watch me include swimmer!steve in all my fics lmao
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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LSTR-S2301 and the maintenance tunnel ARAR are best friends to me even though that Elster was only on sierpinski for a seemingly brief time, theyāre bros who fuck around on the clock during work. I think Elster was probably more willing to put extra time in however sheās also very āokay youāve given me a list of tasks I did them. Theyāre done and done well. Thatās it, my time now.ā Whereas I see Ara being more of a slacker (very valid of her) or at the very least just a bare minimum type of gal when it comes to work.
Idk I tend to imagine them fucking off in the middle of shifts to go find weird lonely corners of sierpinski to hang out in. They donāt even talk half the time but they love it.
#listen I know sierpinski Elster has Alina as her lover#I donāt necessarily see Elster/ara as romantic although it could be#theyāre just tired work bros to me#u have machine autism and plant autism and theyāre both silent types I think theyād click#Iāve seen some fun takes on Lilith and Elster as characters too#to me Lilith Itou is definitely the strong silent type but not bc she always means to be#yes she is an intimidating war veteran but I think part of that intimidation factor comes from her being awkward as hell when it comes#to talking#combo of awkward/ just being a woman of few words anyway#which comes through in LSTRs I think#they donāt say much when they donāt feel that they need to ig#anyway idk if this makes sense Iām just rambling#I was also just trying to think abt LSTR-S2301 bc poor thing#imagine being your own individual replika but youāre brought to this place as basically a sacrificial lamb? of sorts#in that you as you are. itās not what you need to be for a godās purpose#but itās close enough that the parts that arenāt needed can be stripped away#and filled again#she was only ever meant to be a vessel for 512 in many ways#but she was still S2301 and had her own life and friends for a brief moment in time#signalis#this isnāt worded well but gets the tag regardless#I should make a rambles tag separate from my personal tag maybe#lynx rambles#<- new tag ig
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i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ādyingā is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ādeathā is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time itās this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospitalā was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? itās heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanaeās absence is not felt. sheās fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ādeathā is a tricky thing in utena, i think itās constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didnāt die. he grew up. etc etc
#what am i trying to say here?#idk! think about all of the pieces you have#dying is complicated in ohtori in countless different ways#and i find it boring to see so much āthis character is dead and thatās itā stuff#when death is used farrrrrrr more figuratively than some ppl give credit for#and i think the movie too does wonderful things with death#and what ādyingā really means#being disbelieved. being forgotten. being rejected. haunting despite this#much more interesting to think about wrt commentary on abusive relationships than it is#to think about what?? oh me when my brother died but plot twist heās alive and can walk on this road all cool. like?????#akio doesnāt have the power to make himself revenant#he THINKS he does and he absolutely has power when heās alive and he imbues that power with such meaning that it does live on after him#but ANTHY. anthy is the one struggling with herself and her feelings and the impact of trauma and abuse (that power!!) in aou#heās dead? he died? she brought him back through her memories? or sheās left him (metaphorical death) and heās haunting her??#all such interesting interpretations#i havenāt mentioned touga bc i donāt have the energy today. if dead and just illusion of others memories then why active. why awful#like in aou akio is only Obviously scummy when heās alive. his illusory self is based upon anthyās love for him#if anime!touga is nothing more than nanami/whoeverās memories of him before he diedā¦ā¦. why does he actively choose to suck again and again#like nanami wouldnāt do that. unless it was meant to be a subconscious thing like ooo heās dead all along but thatās not what her arc is#itās not āheās been dead all alongā literally or figuratively. itās āheās unsafe and i donāt want himā#sigh. once again i am asking people to think about nanami and tougaās dynamic through tougaās eyes#itās so interesting to me how people forget to consider his motivations or feelings on ANYTHING#like sure his motivations and feelings are scummy but theyāre interesting!!!!! they intrigue me!!!!#compel me even#anyway ignore how i said i didnāt have the energy for this and then typed it all out anyway#dais.txt
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I'M HEREEEE!!!!! thank you @miyameowru and @mrsokkotsu and @storiesoflilies and @cloudwisp for tagging me i love you all sooosoo much<333333 THIS WAS SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OIKAWA MY DARLING BOYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEEING THAT MADE ME SO SO HAPPY ACTUALLY WAHH I MISS HIM SM<3333333 AND THEN TENGEN AND CHUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHH I LOVE THEMM!!!!!!
AND THEN OFC MY OWN PERSONAL TEDDY BEARR and kuna and bakugoššš i can't believe that he and sukuna are the same lmao that's so funny. aaaaaaand then we have suguru and fyodorššššno comment there. i think fyodor would despise me actually and suguru is a lil yandere so idk what that says abt our perfect little relationship.
OK AND FINALLY SATORU AND DAZAIII WHAT DO YOU MEANN ONLY 85% THEY ARE MY LITTLE MEOW MEOWSS THEY SHOULD BE HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOWWW RRRRAAHHHHHH
no pressure tags: @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat @gothsuguru @staryukis @mossmotif @lxnarphase @kisstoru @ohimsummer @tirasamu @osarina @mizzfizz @sleepymarimo @hayakawalove @nappingmoon @spookuna @forest-hashira @madaqueue <33333
#ALSO FEEL FREE TO JUST MAKE YOUR OWN POST BC MINE GOT SO LONG YK#you don't have to rb this one if you don't want to!!!!!!#i just had to post them all lmao#i'm sorry the fyodor one is cracking me up a little#with suguru ok i get the 92#but with fedya???#sahdhgsadhgsahgdhagsda#i feel like he'd rather actually gut me alive than to be anything with me#AND THAT'S FINE BTW#i want him he doesn't want me some things are meant to be and some are not#hgadshgsahgdshgdhgsahgdas#OKAY BUT OIKAWA MY BABY BOYYY#OH I WOULD CODDLE THE FUCK OUT OF HIM#WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ILOVE HIM SM#MY LOSER BF<33333333333333#i was also now trying to figure out like what IS my type then..#and i think freaks is quite literally the best way to put it#chuuya is the most normal one out of them but he has his moments anyway#and bakugo#wait but#i think i could also call them all losers#asjhsahgdshagdhgsagh#OK OK I AM GETTING WAY TOO INTO THIS#THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME MY LOVES MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!!!!!#tag game#mayor of loserville
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āWhyās he call you Darlinā?ā
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(itās too late guys iāve already added it to a couple playlists. i canāt help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Sevenās Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#itās very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but iām not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#āYouāve been beatinā āround the bush so much youāre knockinā off the leaves.ā goes kinda hard tho iām ngl#āole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevyā would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think itās very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a āforeignā vehicle. but i donāt even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but iāll stop before i go off on a rant about americaās transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. clichĆ© as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesnāt even necessarily fit Samās vibes i just. canāt undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlinā to be cheating on him and i donāt like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isnāt one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesnāt fit in canon#and i donāt know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlinā too. though itās very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i canāt even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if iād like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlinā? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days iāll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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i would actually love to hear your thoughts on when layton would emote the ways you've drawn him! if you want! no pressure if not!
OH B OY HERE WE GO!!!!! again take everything with a grain of salt bc i Forgor bits of the series
BLANKET SPOILER FOR UNWOUND FUTURE/MIRACLE MASK MAYBE??/AZRAN LEGACY
(for reference we are talking abt this post)
SURPRISE: As we know in the PL series, it's very very hard to catch the professor off-guard in any way. Most of the things you would think would surprise him, he's already known for a long time and was just keeping quiet about it so that he could use that information at the right time.
With that being said, the times where he does seem to get somewhat surprised (or taken aback. he's so goddamn emotionally constipated) seem to be when the shocker in question has personal relation to him. Though in the series proper, none of the shocking personal factoids are ever presented in a way to make him jump. So theoretically, if any twists like Claire or Descole's reveal were presented much more aggressively, he might emote like how I've drawn him (though I kinda doubt it). Or just jumpscare him lmao
SADNESS: Obviously we know that Layton can feel sadness and cry, though even at the end of Unwound Future it's clear that he's still holding back with his crying. I'd wager that it's because he's out in public and around an impressionable individual (Luke) that he's not letting himself fully express his grief. After all, a true gentleman never makes a scene in public.
I'd say, if he were to cry like the way I've drawn him (that is, bawling his eyes out), it'd probably be at the end of UF when Luke leaves for America, and he'd have to be alone. And I mean completely alone. He'd be very careful about having anyone even remotely near him before he breaks down sobbing; he'd wait for Luke to go home, and wait a while to make sure that he hears no other footsteps around who could potentially walk in on him, before crying. And even then, he'd still repress it - trying to choke back sobs to make sure he isn't heard, pulling the brim of his hat over his eyes and covering his eyes with his hand, the works. Because sadness/crying is weakness to him, and a true gentleman can never show weakness.
ANGER: Frankly, I feel like this is one of the emotions I've drawn that I actually could see him showing in the series proper. We've seen him in Unwound Future just barely holding back his anger at Clive when he endangered Flora/started wrecking havoc on London (obviously still restrained- yadda yadda yadda "true gentleman" blah blah blah).
To get him to unrestrain it, I'd say you would have to put a lot of people he cares about (particularly his wards - Luke and Flora would likely be excellent choices) in direct danger, as well as taunt him to a personal degree enough times. Because even the Professor has limits to how much mental strain he can take, and all limits can be broken. It's just a matter of pushing the right (or wrong!) buttons on him.
FEAR: This one's tough I think. As an adult who's seen a lot (including his own death), it's pretty hard to find something that would really scare him to that degree. Throughout the series the most he seems to show in terms of fear is either: a) surprise that he quickly recovers from, or b) the end of Unwound Future when he realizes that Claire can't stay with him.
I say that theoretically (and REALLY emphasize on the "theoretically"), you might be able to get him to emote the way I've drawn him... if you subject him to anything akin to his recently unrepressed memories of his childhood, and he's rendered helpless to do anything to help but watch. But like I said, only theoretically. I'd wager that he'd probably just be angry too.
LAUGHTER: ...I honestly have no good clue to how or when he'd emote like this. For him to laugh so heartily, he'd have to be in a state of extreme emotional vulnerability, which isn't often.
I'd say it'd be at a time where he's feeling very relieved, or elated (and they'd both have to be situations that connect to him personally too; outside events won't phase him). How he'd laugh to such an extent I'm not actually sure, BUT I could paint a bit of a scenario: It's the end of UF, but Claire could actually stay without dying, and she makes a sort of lighthearted joke in light of the events. Would he laugh wholeheartedly? I dunno. But judging on what we've seen of him, it's a maybe.
It's a shame we never get to see him emote so colourfully in the hexalogy proper, but as I've stated before in another long-winded half-legible ramble character analysis, he's SEVERELY repressing his emotions due to Claire's last words/"gentleman" values/positive reinforcements from his peers and environments for successfully hiding his emotions. Poor guy.
#mak talks smack#mak talks back#professor layton#hershel layton#character analysis#i guess.?#mostly just me yapping eternally while trying to make sure i'm actually understood#i was waiting until i had enough mental capacity to type this on my laptop so sorry for the wait anon#but this is the gist of what i think#ALSO I FEEL THE NEED TO ADD#I DO NOT HATE CLAIRE IN ANY WAY AT ALL!!!#she's just made some very unfortunate wording choices which have exacerbated his repression issues further :(#but like i said in the art post the laughing one i put in bc i felt bad. lmao#most of the emotions i've drawn were just fun exercises for me#realistically would he show half of them? probably not#but oh well#still it's fun to draw him feeling extremes#especially when his face is just :-) or :-|#limitations are the key to progress!!
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I need her so that she and Turtwig can sit on my shelf and I can come over and give her a little kiss on the top of her head when Iām too stressed to sleep.
#chat sesh with iris#one of the reviews took a star off because they couldnāt see her underwear ššš#UMMMMMā¦ SHE HAS A MAN!!! PUT SOME RESPECT ON MY NAMEā¦#donāt talk about my girl that way š”š”š”#only I can talk about my girl that way!!!#and I donāt want to. to be frank Iām GLAD that sheās wearing shorts!#she needs another layer under the coat have you seen how cold parts of Sinnoh are? :(#if it gets really windy then sheād be really chilly :(((#thereās a bunch of snow and huge wind chills where I am#I donāt need my angel underdressed out in the cold š”š”š”#sheās a sweetheartā¦ and you want her to get upper thigh frostbite just for you to see her pantiesā¦ FUCKED UP!!!!!#the rest of her thighs not covered thoughā¦#she needs some leggings to wear under her socks#or maybe she can wear some comfy sweats. she could borrow mine :D!#I just bought a bunch of new sweats on vacation bc it got insanely cold and we didnāt pack warm pants for me lmao#hmmmā¦ maybe sheās wearing those fuzzy tight leggings that are made to look just like your skin while being super warm#and the shorts and socks are both on top of them#I would support that#dawn#I was diagnosed with autism when I was 18 btw. I feel like thatās relevant to these tags.#I feel like sheās the type whoād feel like she needs to look cute and palatable all of the timeā¦ but I will always make sure that sheās cozy#:)#I will never let my girl be cold just bc she wants to feel cute!!! especially when she wants to look cute for me!!!!!#sheās always the cutest to me <3!!!
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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yuta and suguru are my favorite jjk charactersā¦i think i have a type
YOU DOOOOOOO YOU DO!!!!!!!! iām also weak to men defined by their overwhelming devotion donāt worry anon š«š«š« this is a safe space!!!!!
#can i interest you in some choso or gumi perhaps :3333#yuuta and sugu are for sure the most devoted tho ā¦ā¦#i take no criticism!!!!!!!!!#but like . yeah. yeahhhhh#men who are so devoted to you that itās almost overwhelming at timesā¦.. bc their love is just. sososo heavy and so steady#itās in everything they do#i think yuuta and sugu fall in love the same way a rock sinks into the ocean#like itās just . this sea of devotion. that theyāre stuck in. they love you so much!!!! and they want to show it so badly </3#they both strike me as the type to just. adore you soooo fervently. they just see you as Their Person yk :(((((#for sure in a possessive way sometimes BUT. also just. in the sense that youāre theirs to take care of!!!!!!#they want to take care of you they want to protect youā¦. they want to Love You#and i think that kind of devotion feels a little too heavy sometimes šš but theyāre good at holding back for you#OKAY SORRY IM LOSING IT A LITTLE they make me very ill#ask tag ā©
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ive ben having a bit of a time so i might take a little break. when i come back hopefully there will be art
#There might not be but I HOPE#I feel bad because I feel the solution to there not being a lot of songxiao is to make more#But when I DO make more and put extra effort into it I always feel like it's for an audience of 4#Which currently has me feeling some type of way#Like it just must not be that good when I do it or in general people just no longer care#So I end up like. Well do I put my limited energy towards more songxiao (because I feel they deserve high quality content)#Or do I not#Bc I don't have a lot lately to give
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