#bc im very aware that some people in it have me blocked

[werepuppy-steve]

.

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[erabu-san]

Hello!!I want to start off with the fact that i ABSOLUTELY LOVE your art!!The way you draw characters is amazing,you draw them nearly the same as i hc them

I was scrolling through your blog (the art is beautiful please dont ever stop) and i saw some anons complaining and insulting you for drawing some characters (mainly characters from natlan and sumeru) with different shades of skin.While i dont know much about this topic i just wanted to share my opinion.

Sumeru is based off of middle east,the majority of which has tanned skin (but its very mixed from what i know!).Natlan is based off of a lot of places (which is honestly another sign of racism in my opinion)I myself am from Turkey which can count as both middle east AND Europe (even turkish people dont know what we count as).I have a lot of middle eastern friends as well (Iran,Iraq,Sauda Arabia,Syria…) and they are brown or tanned and one of them is white!

i saw a lot of people say that “not every character needs to be black/brown” and i answer this with not every character has to be white.White,brown,black,asian,native american and every other race exists and every race deserves to be respected.No race should be insulted for wanting representation.No race should be seen as outcasts either.Wether that be white or black,no one deserves to feel like they are not fine the way they are.

I myself hc Zhongli as pale as a ghost to indicate that he is a god (as being pale is associated with being a superior being in chinese culture).I hc Xiao as tanned due to him spending all his time,day and night,fighting monsters.I hc Neuvilette has slightly blue-ish skin bc hes the hydro sovereign.I hc as black bc i like him that way.I hc Alhaitham as brown and so many more characters.Nobody would want to play a game in which there is no diversity.Diversity helpes the characters feel more real and gives them character depth.Diversity helps make Teyvat feel more real,like Earth itself.

But anyways this is just my opinion,i would love to learn more and hear everyone’s opinions.And if someone doesnt like your art they should just block you if they dont want to see it🤷‍♀️ Your art is amazing though so please dont mind those buffoons 🙏

Sorry it this got too long or complicated.English isnt my first language and im still learning

And dont even get me started on the body shapes of the characters

Hii !! Thank you so much ! 😭😭🙏

Yesss I completely agree with you !

And if I can be honest, I wasn't aware of this question of representation and diversity before Genshin Impact. Once, I saw a fanart with someone making a white character black, and in all of my ignorance, I was wondering why (a genuine question). So I asked my friend her thought (because I love hearing her opinions) and she makes me aware about representation in media, and issues they are facing to. And, wow, I learnt a lot ! Maybe it is a bit silly but, I always tend to focus on canon content, and all my HC was around interactions or their behaviour, and I never thought about their body appearance HC. And since I learnt that, my creativity developed a new skill ! So it is only recently I put HC on their physical appearance (like Sethos with dimples KKGEKDJS it ain't that much but it is fun, I guess HC on physical appearance is not my domain)

But it is thanks to Genshin, a game about exploring a whole world with diversity lore in each region, and what representation Hoyoverse used for making their game that I started to be into it. So yes, there is a lot of problem in genshin, making some rep worst. But without this, I wouldn't be able to learn more about SWANA culture with a thread I read on Dehya Nilou Tighnari Faruzan, Japan with Wanderer, Chinese with Yun Jin or recently on Hawai'i with Mualani and even on France United Kingdom with Emilie (i think I also read a thread about GaMing too...?). And what a surprise, I am close to France and UK but I never knew about Emilie's inspiration. Not only on character but also lore, and how some desert name in genshin is also part of culture (I don't remember where I read it tho !! Gosh i wish to reread it again).

I love genshin for its diversity whatever on region or lore but even on gameplay it offers us in our adventure. But I also agree on those who complain about character design ! Not only about representation, but about storytelling in character design (for example, you can't guess Xilonen is someone who forges ; her nails, accessories and hair would be on her way). And it happens that I receive some hate message (on tumblr and twitter. Mostly twitter) saying "this game is not for you, just leave" with some insults that I prefer to not share lol

I agree and also disagree. What do you mean this game is NOT for me ?? Searching our lost sibling, tragic lore, wholesome encounter, satisfying gameplay, vivid color landscape, with great characters, ALBEDO ??? Not for me ?! 🤨 My love for genshin is immense. But, I agree on the fact that.. yes. Indeed, I am not the target for genshin character design. I played a lot of gacha game, and it is mostly based on collectioning waifu with big boobs and big ass (you were a great game, Epic Seven...). When I look at hater's account on twitter, there is a pattern : throwaway account, account full of problematic opinion, or full of porn 2d woman with the basic hourglasses morphology big boobs big butt even on characters who are flat. It is undeniable that most of genshin characters are sexualised, and this, for sell them better. And, making them white is one of criteria to sell them better to those type of client 🙂‍↕️

I study sociology (i am a newbie tho, nothing deep) and I can extend this light analyse on what I learn : the success of Genshin, why there is such a contrast between Genshin players and their different profiles, the benefits Hoyoverse do and how difficult it is to satisfy all players (and so sacrifices are made, like characters design). It is all supposition tho BGKEJGJS but maybe if I do my last year of sociology and still into genshin, why not making my essay on it bahahaha

BACK TO THE TOPIC !!! (SORRY I HAD A LOT TO SAY) don't worry, since this anon hate, I tend to block everyone who try to argue or insult 😭 and just mostly shock how people are openly racist when they are behind a screen WOW lucky me I am not affected by those words ☠️ and all of this just because I draw Kinich black skin or Xilonen with a bit more textured hair...? That's so crazy ! Anywaaaay diversity is great and it works also on creativity too !! World is boring if everything looks the same, and it is also the same in Genshin ! Imagine in 4 years, genshin only released mondstadt 1, mondstadt 2, mondstadt 3.... I believe the game would be dead sooner if it was the case bahaha

And thank you again for all your compliments about my art anon !! I love drawing so much, and it is my source of fun and happinness <3 There is in some drawings I thought "wow !!! I improve !!" And i am so happy when people notice it too! 😭🙏

Don't worry abt your english, mine isn't the best neither BAHTVZJHGJZGAA

[ganondoodle]

still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me

bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??

if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??

you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)

want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong

as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule

but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places

again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all

and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?

(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)

i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk

zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason

maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!

and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-

because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off

and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-

but its not.

it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-

*sigh*

you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..

[sexboobomb]

if you're a cool trans person who lives near me and you reach out to me about it, chances are pretty damn high that im down for a meetup because i love meeting my people :3

UPDATE: added a “mutuals fucked” counter to my bio hehe

UPDATE: "Men DNI" or anything similar will get you blocked if your vibes seem indicative of transmisogyny or misandry to me.

Edit, because apparently it needs to be specified: I have no issue with "Men DNI", I have issue with misandry and transmisogyny. In my experience misandrists and TERFs almost always have "Men DNI" on their blogs, so I keep an eye out for it, but that does not mean I have any problem with people who simply aren't comfortable with men on their blogs just because that isn't the goal of their blog.

UPDATE: I will be adding many flavors of content to my reblogs instead of just liking them, some of it is bc I want to support the artists who make stuff I like, and some of it is bc I have decided that it's in no way shameful to (gasp) be attracted to stuff. Most active hornyposting and explicitly sexual content will stay on my sideblog, but if you continue following me then from this point on be aware that I will occasionally post things that may be suggestive, lewd, or downright explicit. I have also added the URL to my sideblog down below, for those interested.

Hi there >:3

You can call me VV. I’m 22, autistic, adhd, and transfem! I’m a polyamorous lesbian system (so far exclusively t4t, but I’m open :3). I live in Seattle, and as long as you aren’t a creep or weirdo I’m open to making friends! I am currently in wonderful relationships with @cynthjam, @thevicioushotdog, @anarcho--neptunism, @lucyvaleheart, @urjunebug, @emluckyowl, and another who doesn’t have tumblr :3

Trying to try new things and to be a bit more shameless, because I figure I should try to like myself as much as other people seem to. I’m still learning some of my limits, and breaking a few, so feel free to ask me all manner of things but don’t always expect an answer. I occasionally hornypost, but most of the more explicit stuff stays on my sideblog, girlcockgarage. Horny asks should also be directed to my sideblog if you want a serious answer. I may put the URL here eventually.

I may include more about my interests here in the future, but for right now I’ll stick to introductions. Check back later and I’ll probably have this updated!

Reblogging my stuff is not only appreciated, but actively encouraged! I enjoy very few things more than I enjoy sharing my interests with others, and reblogging helps me reach as many people as possible with that!

This one is a little bit unusual I'm sure, but for the time being I will not be interacting with any Picrew stuff such as Picrew rebog chains. I have nothing against Picrew, it just sets my dysphoria off more severely than damn near anything else. Wish it didn't but it does, so for now I have to avoid it.

I will block minors, creeps, bigots, or anyone who gives me those vibes even if not explicitly clear. Ageless blogs will be blocked, because I’m not taking any chances here.

[hugheses]

these are just some thoughts after seeing ur post on the hockey thigh thing btw, and i hope you hear me out. you being a lesbian (im bi and i have a gf currently), which is something you emphasise a lot, and not being attracted to these dudes doesnt make this whole parasocial archive any less weird or creepy. i'm not here to shit on or invalidate your passion, because obv its something you care about deeply from how much your scour the web for all these old things, even of their mother when she was young. and genuinely, thats pretty cool, i work in archival and i have a lot of respect for that with the effort you've put into it.

but i think you are encouraging others to imitate this blog and culture, when it comes to other players who aren't as in the media as the hughes family. like i agree that its part and parcel of the job as athletes who represent a multitude of things like ur franchise ur family etc, but i feel like we just shouldn't proliferate this. i know people on twitter are unjustly harsh and oftentimes critical to the point of meanness, but i think some points they share are valid. just bc its on the internet, doesnt give us the permission to do stuff ykwim? like imagine just going up to the hughes and giving them a scrapbook of every media moment from their mothers childhood, to her college, their dad, and them as kids and now as adults. thats just straight up weird. and don't even get me on the sexualisation, i get they are adults but isn't that just basic respect?

i know having an internet community is rlly important to some, and im sure ur followers would still give you that support u need even if you dont constantly supply them with these media things, or dangle ur secret archive like a carrot over them.

hoping you have a great day

you clearly put a lot of time and thought into this, so i will give you that same level of consideration back. i think you have some misunderstandings about me, hockey fandom, and fandom culture as a whole.

first, the lesbian thing. admittedly tumblr search is very broken but according to it i’ve mentioned the word lesbian twice on here, as a disclaimer for why i might not be the best person to understand what male attracted people find hot. it's possible it's come up a few other times but it’s definitely not something i "emphasize a lot". it's somewhat ironic that you bring up you being bi and having a gf in what reads to me like a deflection on your critique that i say i'm gay too much, when you seem to think me saying i'm a lesbian is bc i'm trying to deflect on sexualizing these guys. which admittedly is the most confusing part of your entire ask. is this solely about the thigh ask? if you’re worried about "basic respect", hockey fandom is probably not the place for you. i know i don't like seeing 500 reader insert posts every time i open anyone's tag, which is why i have related terms muted and block people who don't use them. however this is very much a part of hockey fandom and i’m aware of that. on the flip side, the unfortunate reality is that hockey players are some of the nastiest misogynistic men on the planet who generally do not see women as actual human beings beyond mommies, maids, and holes. if i WAS sexualizing these men 24/7 i would feel well within my rights to do so, and could make an only slightly ironic argument for it being feminist praxis. if jack hughes can ask girls to flash him, i can have a little sexualization, as a treat. 

calling me weird and creepy isn’t actually negated by following up with saying you're not trying to shit on or invalidate my passion and you respect the effort i put into it. if you think i’m weird and creepy, you’re allowed to feel that way, but actually own it if that’s what your opinion is.

you imagined this scrapbook scenario and then say that it’s weird. i agree, that hypothetical thing would be weird. good thing i’m not doing that, will never do that, and take many efforts to have a strong fourth wall and keep this blog separate from the people it's about. i am a firm believer in keeping fandom private and secluded! that's why im not tweeting all of this and tagging them. 

it’s a big leap for you to assume that i do this because i "need support". not that it matters, but i do all of this because i find it fun and i’m being generous with people who do not have the time/resources/know-how to find this stuff on their own. there's nothing wrong with finding a community online, but i had one before doing all this. in fact, all of this has been really more trouble than it's worth in terms of harassment vs kindness lmao. some people on here have been lovely to me, but i’m beyond the age where i need virtual validation from strangers. you’re right about one thing, i do dangle my secret archive like a carrot, largely for petty reasons because of a few specific assholes. 

you seem to think i’m the only person who does stuff like this. update/archival accounts are very common for musicians, actors, even like... tiktok influencers. were you not online when people hacked an airport security cam feed to watch one direction sit and do nothing? everything ive ever posted on here has been available to the public. i’m just good at finding stuff. even within this smaller sports fandom on tumblr, i have been inspired by OTHER BLOGS who were doing this before me and go way harder than i do. i didn’t invent the concept of collecting information and images about public figures like you seem to think i did, but thanks.

if you want to critique fandom culture as a whole, go right ahead, but i ask that you keep the sanctimonious lectures out of my inbox, especially when they're based in assumptions. any one of these things could have been questions i would be willing to chat about if you were actually curious about me and what i do. i in fact have lots of opinions that might surprise you on many of these things you mentioned. but i will have those conversations with other people, who talk to me with the respect and dignity that i deserve.

[beesmygod]

"A GHOST STORY" IS A WEBCOMIC I MAKE THAT I WILL BE RE-POSTING, GRADUALLY.

the top row is from 2013. the bottom row is the re-draw from 2018. man what the hell was i on when i was doing the shadows in the re-draw. i've never had a good grasp on how top make shading effective and i'm lucky people paid this comic any attention lol. AVGN voice: WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!!!!!!!

one thing i tried to do in the re-draw was make my sound effects more visually consistent: no more red unless it's influenced by magic or the sound being onomatopoeia'd has a strong association with the color red (like a siren) and using palooka BB for clunky, "heavy" sounds. typesetting is not my strong suit, at all. it's a harder thing to get an education on outside of classes specifically designed for it and i think a lot of it is intuition. i did not pay enough attention to how i did my sound effects early on, wielding them haphazardly without enough care about HOW the sound actually sounds. and by extension, how to transfer those nuances onto the page.

part of that is because typesetting is very boring lol. it's the least fun part of the process for me because it involves a lot of minuscule futzing with font sizes, angles, outlines, ect looking for something that "looks/feels right". or at least right enough. and i have to do it without hearing any other sounds or else i can't concentrate. anything involving words requires me to lock myself in my office and run simulations in my brain like i'm super-computing.

actually, one good thing about revisiting these old pages is that i'm becoming more aware of the things i do think about while making pages now. i def was just thinking "GET SOMETHING ON A PAGE IN ORDER FOR THE STORY TO PROGRESS" at the time. which is good! but the bare minimum for comics. getting the idea onto the page and shipping it is all it takes to make a comic. but im trying to make good comics, which as it turns out, is really hard.

this comic does get better, i swear (I HOPE!!!). for a while i paced my comics way too fast bc i was convinced people would get bored with me if i wasn't constantly delivering hits ("hits"). which is a way, way too cynical approach to art and one's view of their audience. i have been trying to slow my pace, which has been detrimental in some ways but the story i want to tell is a little more deliberate than i was allowing myself at the time.

---

♥ read the comic: A Ghost Story ♥ support the comic for as little as $1 a month on Patreon ♥ pay what you want for the re-draw of the first chapter on itch.io

you can block the tag "#AGS repost" to keep this off your dash

[carlyraejepsans]

i lowkey disagree w u on ur position on fictional ships and certain portrayals of topics such as incest and pedophilia, but oh my fucking god to have the fucking. AUDACITY to accuse someone of real life pedophila and incest because they MENTIONED being NEUTRAL on a certain topic?? like you didnt even say you think fictional incest is cool and rad or wtvr u afaik (which. even if u did that ask would Still be abhorrent) but ur explicitly Neutral and are VERY carful to tag shit and i just. 1/2

cut for length and also sensitive topics

i cannot fucking imagine accusing someone of such a horrid act with such conviction bc u SLightly DIsagree on a topic. jfc. i block tags and if ur conversations ever drive me over the edge id Unfollow. im so so sorry people are such fucking assholes man. i hope people gain some sense abt these topics im so sorry

yeah no i completely respect your opinion. and i do know where it's coming from. to tell you the truth (basic decency of tagging triggers aside), i DO find most of those fanon portrayals to be cheap and uncalled for a good majority of the time, at least from a literary standpoint. things like dating a minor or your own sibling have serious implications on a character's moral code and interpersonal dynamics where most characters would... not fucking do that! and the moment you don't engage with those implications, it becomes either incredibly ooc or altogether shallow. some people act like a topic being problematic makes it inherently complex and rich, when it can be as tropey and flat as any other "safe" topic. being problematic doesn't make you interesting etc. my point isn't arguing over literary value, it's more like... there's people behaving horribly and cruelly towards the AUTHORS, and making disgusting assumptions like the one that was made against me, all because of fiction you can always filter out at the end of the day (assuming basic tagging etiquette is respected ofc) and like. that's too far. nobody deserves to be treated like this.

not to mention, the "incest fiction recs"/"pro incest posts" those freaks mentioned were literally 1) me gushing about revolutionary girl utena, a deeply feminist and self-aware series that unpacks the misogyny behind anime incest tropes by treating that abuse REALISTICALLY as patriarchal manipulation from a male relative and showing how the female victim suffers and emancipates herself from it and 2) me being annoyed that hs showed one of its characters suffering from csa without acknowledging it AS abuse, even when it would've been not just the morally decent thing to do, but also a genuinely good addition to his character arc (apparently it does do that in the endstory, but i didn't know it at the time). those are both posts about realistic, condemning, and well-thought depictions of incestuous abuse in fiction—which is the only way i ever enjoy the topic btw—but that didn't stop these people from deciding i had an incest fetish and harassing me for weeks on end to the point of accusing me of sexually abusing my teenage brother. like you said, it would be a ghoulish way to treat someone even if their assumption had been right (and it wasn't), but it's like they saw the topic being mentioned and that fact alone was unforgivable, regardless of context. and this crap happens to people all the time! if that's not fucking stupid i don't know what is

[calamitys-child]

ok i have to know the story

IMMEDIATELY you and several others 😅 okay this was a little while ago but to the best of my recollection it went something like this

Tumblr had very recently introduced the little follow button beside everyone's username in reblog chains. As I'm sure we all remember, this resulted in a lot of folk accidentally following and unfollowing people until we got used to it

I get a message from an account I do not recognise saying "hey why the FUCK do you follow me"

I take a quick skim of their blog; it's mostly anime I've never heard of and cutesy pink aesthetic posts, nothing that I'd typically follow someone for

A few posts down I see something I'd reblogged a longer version of from someone else and recognise the comment they'd left on it

I'm like "whoops, weird new follow button, I'll just leave"

The next day I am tagged in a post

"PLEASE BE AWARE OF THESE DISGUSTING PREDATORS"

?????????????

Click on post

Apparently, somewhere in their EXTENSIVE DNI readmore drop down, they had said "IM 18 AND IF YOURE OVER 21 ITS STATUTORY ABUSE TO INTERACT WITH ME"

??????????????????????

They'd posted screenshots of my blog and a couple others, saying we were pedophiles with a blatant disregard for boundaries

1. I am not

2. I had already unfollowed them upon realising I wasn't interested in their posts

3. THEY STARTED THE INTERACTION WITH ME. BOTH TIMES.

Anyway I just blocked them and went about my life as normal but I hope wherever they are they've grown some common sense and aren't reporting every, like, shop assistant or bus driver that ever says hello back to them as a sexual offender

It's not the only time I've had someone with like. "Men/over 20s/some other category I fit in DNI" start a conversation with me then get furious when I respond, bc apparently it's on me to vet them via 3 different carrd links before replying and not on them to check the "he/him guy age 24" in my bio before they start the interaction, but it is the wildest

[darkcircles4lyfe]

hi hello ive just come from your enneagram 9 izuku post and i am just OVERWHELMED with joy & excitement after reading it, everything you said just feels so RIGHT!!

(i am a nine myself & have always felt weirdly attached to izuku in that he felt soso similar to me in such a weirdly specific way but i couldn't really explain why i just Got Him until now, so thanks for that little boost of validation lol)

with your post in mind, i couldn't stop thinking about this line from 412 and it got me curious if you had any additional thoughts on it/read it the same way i did:

the moment i read this line i immediately took a screenshot & filed it away in my Important Izuku Moments file, like idk! the wording of it, the way he's talking about shigaraki but could SO easily be talking about himself, that honestly devastating panel of the tears in his eyes...

we've gotten plenty of hints about izuku's emotional suppression (that 'heroes dont cry' scene with iida & todoroki, his flashback of all might telling him to 'stop being such a cry baby' during the afo fight, the whole 'control your heart' plotline...) but THIS line in particular feels so significant for some reason. maybe cause this could easily be izuku recognizing himself in/through shigaraki? maybe bc it is so close to izuku acknowledging the lid hes put on his own sad & lonely past? maybe bc this is the closest we've ever gotten to izuku saying i'm not okay, even if he isn't actually talking about himself yet?

im trying really hard not to ramble too much in your inbox lol, but everything you said in your post about tomura & izuku really hit home for me, i think you're so right about them. and this line in particular is what makes me think we really are going to see some version of tomura being the one to finally break through (Decay) izuku's emotional blocks & barriers (something something locked door imagery), and that just makes me really excited. for both of them :')

YAY!! I’m so glad to hear you resonated with it. It’s otherwise a bit of a “if you know you know” sort of situation, and it felt good to actually explain it.

I had a “!” moment with that panel too, and also when he says he’s determined to break through Tomura’s barrier, expose and acknowledge his pain.

My immediate thought was, “Oh hey, I’m definitely not making this shit up after all, because Horikoshi is obviously intending to confront the concept of bottling up your emotions/your past. He literally just stated it. We're on the same page.” While it didn’t directly confirm anything about Izuku, it's at least something he is aware of, which is an important first step. There's a line in Sleeping At Last's 'Nine' that I was thinking about a lot as I was writing the latter part of that post: "I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes," which speaks to a need for Tomura to be Izuku's mirror, so that he can see himself.

Also, the revelation that Izuku is clinging to the idea that everyone has a "human heart" deep down is pretty clearly applicable to himself too, implying that he's dealing with a lack of self worth (a lot of Japanese fans were talking about this, and I think it doesn't come across as easily in English). I really love how Kudou clarified that Izuku is not naive for this. It's not the same as being blissfully ignorant to how cruel people can be. It's more like, "I need to believe in the worth of others or else I can't believe in myself." That's... so painful and beautiful.

I'm also excited for what comes next! Very soon!

[rivangel]

me realizing i want (need) a complete metoidioplasty or i will feel this way forever:

i am slowly going insane which i know is mainly cuz im in a precarious part of this process rn but,

i’ve secured 2 letters that i need, but everything is riding on one from my (inexperienced) psychiatrist - and it’s not even that i think she’s transphobic (she even knows a few things) but there’s the Possibility that she’ll say no and THEN what will i do?? i don’t fucking know!! the disappointment would fucking crush me.

the anxiety the past few days has been PARALYZING too, even tho i know perfectly well that labor day was yesterday, so at most she’s had just today to think about it. it’s like no matter how logical i can be, i just CAN’T stop worrying. i can’t imagine picking out a different surgeon bc there’s just no better one in the US from all my research.

IDK if that realization is bad, it was going to be the same price no matter what, but i was sooooooooo sure about what i wanted. then i did this Small thing that gave me the very rare complete awareness of my body, thought about it, and all the sudden i was COMPLETELY sure that i want a full metoidioplasty with nothing left out.

i think part of it is, over the years i’ve intrinsically/unknowingly trained my brain to block out distress over my body bc when i let myself feel my feelings, i get messed up lmaoo.

obviously i’m not an idiot and i’m MORE than perfectly aware of the decision i’m making. ‘top surgery is permanent’ is a HAIRCUT compared to bottom surgery in any capacity. so i have been thinking about it constantly ever since (or i can’t stop) (which is probably fueling my anxiety), and when i imagine it, i get this weird happy-exhilaration that ends stifled. the idea of being that way, the possibility that i’m going to be, but then the reality that i’m not, plus the rest of the hurdles that exist to overcome. even just typing this out is so disorienting to me emotionally.

also, just like with my top surgery, now that i’m working towards the goal of getting the change, i’m so much more aware of how wrong i feel in my body. idk if it’s internalized transphobia, but i hate this feeling and i hate that I’m like this.

but also (lastly) i feel kind of guilty for being so fucked up over this. cuz oh my god it could be (and also was) SO much worse before i started. idk the proportion of trans people that want masculinizing bottom surgery, but i can’t imagine not being able to medically transition and stay sane. maybe that’s mainly just me

dumb addition, i hate that transphobia is my worst trigger. transphobes fuck off from my blog pls

i also hate the political climate in america surrounding it. i can guarantee the vast majority of transphobic people just don’t understand it and don’t seek to, and that’s the worst part. it’s not like there’s some kind of blockage of information - we have the fucking internet ffs. it’s the struggle of human beings just like themselves, but they don’t want to understand trans feelings at all.

for me, i don’t want to stand out or be treated like im special. i just want to be identified the way i should be identified

[c0rpseductor]

random fic thots. and also fatphobia thots. and sexuality thots. Lots of topics

morningstar is just kind of about a lot of stuff that’s important to me bc it’s lestat appeal fic, and one of the things i’m planning to unpack in it is just a bunch of shit about fatphobia and desirability and eating disorders and so on and so forth

so pfeil has disordered eating habits that mostly revolve around restriction, but is still fat. he’s often on that ‘one meal a day just enough food to kinda shakily maintain basic functioning’ grind. it’s not entirely about his body image, but of course like, he’s aware he’s fat and is self-conscious about it, so it’s still relevant.

obviously this is why we need chubby chaser emet. in this narrative. emet likes fat guys. he specifically finds pfeil’s fatness attractive. it also majorly concerns him that pfeil is like…quietly and almost incidentally starving himself in the way a lot of people with eating disorders do when they’re not actively restricting. And he and pfeil just kind of naturally settle into a fairly low stakes D/s thing.

what i’m saying is i think “Please eat and don’t die” may end up getting tied up in their sexual dynamic, and between that and the general focus i feel like i’ve given to both the Idea Of Fatness and what characters are eating day to day, i’ve been kind of worried that if and when things head there readers are going to be like “what is this weird gross feeder shit all about!! Fatphobic! fetishizing! blocked and reported!”

it’s mostly a dumb concern, i think it’d help if i got some sleep lol, but like, idk. what i really want to write here is a story about a very traumatized guy coming to reclaim the idea of having a body and a sexuality and part of that is necessarily going to have to deal with the fact that he’s fat and does not eat in order to punish himself. and it like. just fucking frustrates me that i feel like if you try to touch on that in a sexual context At All then suddenly everything you do and say is suspect and fetishistic and weird and evil and fatphobic. even if you’re fat. Please make that make sense.

like. idk. food is such an important part of daily life bc without it you fucking die. eating together is a very basic human social activity. im very of the dungeon meshi mindset with this. food is a major arbiter of daily rhythms and social bonds and the way characters interact with it says a lot about them and their relationships to themselves and others and denying oneself pleasure related to eating is like. psychologically bad for you. sharing food with other people is a gesture of intimacy and affection and care. you don’t break bread with bitches you hate. Do you see where i’m going with this.

i’ve thought about just not including that dynamic bc of the way people view fat people having basically Any sexuality that acknowledges being fat as Weird Predatory Degen Fetish Shit unless you’re self-flagellating about your weight, but like. I don’t think i want to do that actually. i think maybe i am saying something important about inhabiting one’s own body and also about loving a person who is very ill.

idk. i feel silly making a long defensive post about stuff i haven’t even written yet. i think it’s more kind of like, i just wanna be able to kind of sift through my thoughts, and i wanna be able to express frustration about The Whole Thing. i think it’s kind of fucked up that i don’t feel at all nervous talking about wanting hot guys to put cigarettes out on me or hit me in the face or whatever bc that’s typical kink but the minute im like “i am fat and recovering from atypical anorexia and i would like a hot guy to think it’s hot that i’m fat and encourage me to eat because he thinks that’s hot and not care if i gained weight recovering” it’s the scariest thing in the world bc there is a significant number of people out there that think this is inherently dehumanizing of fat people. and will be offended. or just disgusted. im not even into weight gain i literally just want to be encouraged not to starve myself But Sexy. idk bro it’s fucking nuts that people take issue with this

[sheyfu]

Hello, please check out this tumblr post right here

https://www.tumblr.com/caiimeal/758903075186622464/ai-user-vmlnrz?source=share

to spread awareness. This blue lock 'writer' (@/vmlnrz) uses artificial intelligence (AI) to write their work. Proof included.Reblogs are appreciated.

hi nonnieeeeee thank you so much for sending me thissss <3

i just checked the post and it's quite saddening to hear this T__T there are a lot of authors who pour their hearts and hours to create and post on this platform and seeing someone use AI to make a story instead of writing one themself actually makes me a little, you know, demotivated WUSHHAHAHA

i mean hear me out, using AI to create something isn't necessarily bad. however, if you use it (as in use it and then claim it as your own) (i literally also cannot tolerate the use of AI AHSHHAAH), then that's a very different story. i don't want to sound like a know it all or a show-off (or pabibo in tagalog bc i literally don't know the right term for this in english 😭😭) but whenever i have a lecture in communication (OVERHSARING TIME WUAHAHHAH) my prof always says to this to us. moreover, she's not someone who's strict about using AI engines like ChatGPT (she actually encourages us to do so), however, please see her explanation as to why she allows us to use AI in our projects!!

in her words (not exact, but the gist of it is here IWHAHJA [she makes sure to tell us before every meeting so it's practically engraved into my mind rn WUHAHAJAJ)

'i don't mind you using ChatGPT to write your papers, but you should know how to use it responsibly. by responsibly, i mean use it as a guide to helping you, not the other way around [the engine helping you instead]. you have the power to control the engine, but of course, don't let it control you. if you're having trouble writing or starting or concluding your paper, you can use ChatGPT to help you with that. but remember, the use of ChatGPT is to help you branch out your ideas, not create your ideas.'

of course, im not saying that the author using an engine was very wrong (i mean, to some degree, it definitely is wrong hahaha), however, i just hope that they know writing is crafted by your imagination. and if that imagination is encapsulated by AI, then what's the point of making stories? yes, writing is hard, it definitely is. but that doesn't give you a reason to just fuck it and ball WHAHHAAHHAHA writing is a lokg process. throughout your journey as a writer, you'll experience a lot of things (my whole life is an e2l 55k fanfic ao3 tumblr wattpad fanfic.com oneshot with writer's block atp), and you may also discover your own unique writing style!

i'll admit that at first, i did use AI and took inspo from other authors, but i didn't use AI/inspo just to post. i used AI to gather ideas, expand my vocabulary, and expose myself to fiction writing. and with those inspos/sample stories, i was able to find my own writing style that helped me in my success (AM I SUCCESSFUL?×?@(@(@ WHAHAHAH)

with a big platform like tumblr, this message could rub off in the wrong way to some people. so, if you don't agree, please consider clicking off. i don't need people to criticize my opinions, only my works, please WHAJHAAHAHHA. on the other hand, though, if you want to share any of your opinions, then feel free to drop by my inbox/comment here :))

im really not the best person to approach when it comes to these stuff (my thoughts are so messy and im literally clueless as to whats happening rn HWJSHSJAH), but i hope that this message could at least inspire the author to create a work of their own. plus, if they have trouble writing, they could always ask for help from others!! (you can ask me, but idk if i'll be able to give good advice in writing actuall written works LMAOAOAKAOO [im much more comfy w chat aus WHEHEHEHEH])

so to end, i hope that this author could figure out everything they need to figure out. i encourage you to post anything and everything you like. don't think about if people would like it or not. writing is an experimental journey. you'll experience a lot of ups and downs (ahem, writer's block and burning out, ahem), but if you take your time in crafting your very own pieces, i'm sure you'll be able to create things that are solely unique to you, and reflect pieces of you and your passion in writing :))

good luck, author! i wish you all the best in your writing journey! if you need help, i'm sure there are lots of people who are willing to do so :)

[intheholler]

Howdy! I absolutely love this blog and am so glad I found it <3 Do you have any advice for reclaiming (for lack of a better word) your accent? Mine is all weird from years of codeswitching/trying to hide it, and now that I'm older and have more pride in where I come from, I miss that I don't sound exactly like all the other people from my area. Thank you!!

hi there <33 im glad yall found it too lol. welcome!

also sure! i was (am?) in the exact same boat :') so i guess i could try to tell you what's worked for me.

my first advice would be to try and stop being so critical about what you're saying and how you sound when you say it. easier said than done, ik, because obviously when you code switch, you are very aware of and careful about how you talk, but that's the very first massive block i had to work on before anything else.

so, the first thing i did was work on detaching myself from that need and not policing myself as i spoke. i tried to just let the sounds come out, especially my vowels. i always kept those real tight bc i felt like they're the biggest "tell" i wanted to avoid.

i achieved this by talking to myself in private to shake off that internalized shit that made me wanna disguise it around others in the first place. no one can hear you but you, so just yourself have it, even if u feel silly at first like i did. i dealt with some imposter syndrome-esque stuff about it during this time.

its gonna sound goofy, but for a while, to get ur mouth back in the habit of making certain shapes during certain words, start talking to yourself in an exaggerated form of ur original accent. like fully put it on lmao. maybe even heavier than the one you used to have. this helped my brain get reaquainted with my mouth.

then i started just actively listening to myself think and talk. there is the comfortable and familiar way my brain wants the words to be formed in my natural dialect, and then there is my mouth that stops it out of codeswitching habit. it took active work and effort to make my accent go away, and it's taking active work and effort to make it come back.

anyway, a lot of my pronunciations i no longer have to "actively hear" myself give, so i know it's working <3

sometimes i'll even say something, pause and mentally be like "goddamn, what the fuck was that that just came out my mouth" and then im like "oh right, that's me 🥰 hello again, me"

im glad you're ready to start reclaiming this part of yourself and i wish you good luck. it's surprisingly hard! i started making a conscious effort three or four years ago and mine is still not as strong as i'd like.

[scourgefrontiers]

god.

at this point irt proship/anti discourse ive stopped giving a fuck. im 27 i have bigger problems than what ppl do online

if u wanna ship nasty shit i dont care anymore just do it over there not over here where im at. yknow. theres shit i will block ppl over bc i dont wanna see it but im not gonna stop you at this point like who cares anymore dude

like no i generally dont fuck w ppl who ship certain things still bc it makes me uncomfortable and icks me out. but its fiction and i no longer care what ppl do with their fictional worlds and stories as long as its not actively irl hurting people. like im just tired of talking and caring about it to the degree i used to and to the degree some ppl still do. i dont fuck w harassment over it and i dont fuck w ostracizing over it either just. whatever man

i got Very angry over proshippers a while back, specifically abt those who ship pedophilic content, and i still heavily do not fuck w these people. but also im trying to not wish ill towards them anymore bc like i said it Is Fiction and im aware these ppl (hopefully) dont actually support that shit in real life and are just exploring it in a fictional space idk. again i dont like it and i dont wanna see it but im trying not to to tell them to choke anymore lmfao.

its such a fuckin..nuanced topic. idk. im in a weird place mentally thinking about it. like yeah it Can affect real people and it often does. ppl do in fact get groomed w this shit. but at the same time its like. not real. its just ppl playing with dolls in a weird way. ppl get groomed with a lot of things and its not just this. it feels nasty as hell to me still but i also feel like they should have the right to explore things in fiction as long as nobody's actually harmed. and on top of that im also like. still aware it has the potential to hurt people which is why i dont like it.

idk its a weird topic for me now so im just gonna go forward blocking posts and/or people as i see fit. im gonna curate my own experience as usual. hopefully this is the last post i'll make on the topic so pls dont send me asks abt it going forward lol i likely wont answer them

[beesfairlyland]

Hi! I hope you are doing great and that exam season is easy on you! 😗 i really hope im not bothering you or seeming like im venting or something, you dont have ti answer this at all, but I would greatly appreciate some advice on how do you deal with heartbreak in a nondual point of view?

I'm not a person that takes a liking to people easily, but I fell for this person at my work and unfortunately I had to leave that summer job and go back etc etc life. I thought of that person for a full year they wouldn't leave my mind, I was going crazy and so happy that I would be working again this year, come to find out I lost all my chances bc i will not be working in the same space/but somewhere different. All my hopes were crushed and I felt very stupid and heartbroken etc (don't want to get too venty or into it), and I kind of cried and am quite depressed. I turnt tk manifesting everything, yet of course nothing worked. I'm into nondualism, but I still have that mindset of " if I do this, it will happen" like of things, which makes me feel even more helpless. Could you give me some insight on dealing with this in nonduality?

Because I've had many tell me

"Oh well bc everything is " " your desires aren't real and you are everything all at once" but I feel like my emotions just block that out and I fail to understand it.

Hii baby! I am doing good, hoping same is with you!

There's no different way of dealing with a heartbreak in a non dual way. Afterall non dualism is about Knowing ourselves, our true nature. Feel it all, cry it all out.

But yeah Know that this is a dream. And you are lucid. You tell me is there anything that we can't change in a dream?

you tried manifesting, but was it with the knowing or Desperation? Rn you are aware of the lack. Shift your attention.

Why to focus on lack when uk it's hurtful? He's just an another projection of you. Do you really think that anything is more powerful and limitless than YOU?

Don't try to ignore these emotions, the more you try to supress them the harder they'll push back. Remember this dream is malleable. Don't be desperate, it's all gonna work out.