#bc im scared ill hate it but

[kellyscowboy]

꒰✧ᯇ✦꒱ DON'T BE SORRY FOR LEAVING AND GROWING OLD || ch. 3

ᯇ summary ! ✦ Jack Kelly finally gets out of New York and makes something of himself. Though, he's never been good at goodbyes and David won't answer his letters. || read full thing on ao3 now WRITTEN FOR THE NEWSIES FIC EXCHANGE ᯇ warnings ! ✦ cussing & angst 396 WORDS © 2023 , 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲

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Jack never got a letter back from David. It had been a year since he wrote the first letter, and he had sent many more since then.

Dear David,

My first letter might have gotten lost. Or maybe you chose not to answer it, and that’s fair. I forgot to mention that I’m married. I am. Her name is Darla. We’re not in love.

I thought I was in love with her. But she knew I wasn’t. I feel bad. I didn’t know I was hurting her.

We still live together. I love her, she loves me. But we’re not in love.

It took me a while to realize it, she realized it far sooner.

If you ever get a chance to see my paintings, you’ll know what I mean.

  Sincerely,

Your Cowboy

Dear David,

My paintings have changed a lot from when you knew me. They’ve changed a lot since I moved out here, too. I think you’d like them.

Tell the boys I’m sorry. They didn’t deserve me. I’m sorry.

You were right. I ruined myself.

  Jack Kelly

Some of his letters were pages long, others had less than five sentences. None of them ever received a response. Darla watched as he deteriorated.

His art had reached its peak. It was showcased in different countries and paintings he sold at local café’s skyrocketed in prices. After a short two years of painting, he decided he was ready to retire.

“Are you sure, Jack?” Darla asked. “Since the first day I met you, this life has been your dream. Are you really ready to give it up?”

“Darla, all this life does is remind me of the one I left behind. I just want to be done with it. It was never worth it.” Jack frowned.

At the grand opening of the Santa Fe Museum: Home of the Cowboy, Jack officially announced his retirement. The halls of the museum were filled with his art, along with works inspired by him and other small artists in their town. His last piece, his kiss goodbye to the world he had longed for, would sit in the middle of the building. It would be illuminated by lights and have a plaque naming the piece ‘an end of an era.’

Jack knew that there was no other way to end his career than with the way he started it.

[skunkes]

^_^

[ciderjacks]

my biggest fear is that Jax will do something Really bad (intentionally or unintentionally) to a beloved character bc I will probably end up defending his ass against the entire fandom. My track record with defending horrible fictional people like my life depends on it is NOT good.

[punk-o-ween]

i wanna cry i rlly hate being new to things

[gigifujijifu]

Anyone else remember the little 88x31 buttons from older internet days? I've been remembering them a lot lately.

I make ffxiv ones in msp when I'm in queue or my bf is flying me around between quests.

[chonnyjashh]

There's a toxic person who genuinely emotionally tortured me for a couple weeks that I strongly, strongly dislike who draws super peak dialtown fanart as well as dsaf fanart, and has a parody account on twt, which is how he met me. I'm worried now that we dont talk he'll move onto somebody else and do the same. I genuinely live in fear of this happening. This person also has over 8k subs on Youtube because of fucking course things couldn't be easy lmao.

I would so totally out who this person is but considering he threatened to kill himself multiple times and outright had attempts a few times whilst in contact with me, I literally can't. It sucks but like. Yeah.

Just... Know that one day you'll come across a really, really good Randy x Gingi fanart, and you'll never even know it was made by somebody who ruined my emotional state to the point I honestly don't think I'll be able to recover 💀

.... Ugh. Damn it. He's popular and well liked and I'm a complete nobody so regardless of the fact I screenshotted literally everything, it... kinda just doesn't matter, does it. Idk. The only reason I'm hesitating until I know for sure people care is bc I don't wanna do this unless I know for certain it'll have SOME effect other than just making him emotionally destroy me again/possibly harm himself. I want to be heard and I don't think him having an audience is safe in the slightest considering he severely emotionally abused a pretty badly disabled person (me) to the point I had seizures and almost ended myself too, but... like... it's not worth me dying over it if nobody will even hear me.

[apolohgy]

hello beautifuls, i got a job offer last week in [redacted] and i’m so grateful and excited to be… making money again! and to finally have my own place and fix it up to my taste and get 2 cats 🥹 there’s a job in [redacted] w the same exact salary range and i’m really hoping i get it bc it’s a much more desirable hot girl walkable city. my final interview for that job is next wednesday send hot girl city job offer vibes my way pls

[gunpowder-tim]

anyway having to call an ambulance is so very stressful what the fuck is up with that.

[itsalwaysdark]

several of my oomfies have been inactive for months . hand longingly on their blogs

[skrunksthatwunk]

i would really appreciate it if i didn't have a brain that thought torturing me was a helpful response to being scared of us. im your copilot stop fucking tazing me you dick

[orcelito]

Little Tally has been plodding around and she was trying to get into a box earlier and she later came up to me and stared at me expectantly then later tried to eat my plants again and just now she came up to sit next to me purring again and leaning into my pets

The medicine really is making her feel better I think. And it's really highlighting how bad she Has been feeling. Bc these are all very basic things, but she hasn't been doing it. Even up to her little walk, the plodding sounds of her footsteps... before today, she was moving so stiffly, an awkward little shamble, so I couldn't even really hear her when she got up (which was nowhere near as much as normal). Something as simple as hearing her drinking water is making me emotional. If she starts yowling tonight when I go to bed I really might just cry.

I really hope this keeps up... she's got just one more day of meds, but maybe it'll be enough... I hope so...

[depresseddepot]

applying to more jobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!haha :))))))))))))))))))

[sereonhardware]

I always feel a little embarrassed and bad when I remember that I have a fat crush on Freyr or say thay he’s my favorite character ever in Norse Mythology because the one story about him that survived made alot of ppl think that he was a bad misogynist bitch and I get really sad about it so I don’t ever talk about Freyr alot cuz I’m scared🙃

[broke-on-books]

Keep getting pissed off & frustrated and now my stomach hurts

[allseeingharlequin]

I need to draw Noel right now or I'm gonna explode

[everythingsinred]

Natsume Is a Cat (pt. 3)

If anyone is looking at this nonsense... thanks. Isn't the world golden on our side of things? Let's get back to it, to our academic and scholarly research!

Where were we? Onto cats likes and dislikes?

Cats don't much like water. They don't care for swimming and avoid it when possible (that doesn't mean they're dirty though; cats are very good at self-grooming).

Water bugs them, after all.

But the dark doesn't! Cats have a tapetum lucidum in their eyes which lets them see in the dark, so there's nothing to fear even in total darkness.

They tend to underestimate their weight and enjoy sitting on chests if they so choose, even if the person they're sitting on doesn't like it as much.

I had to include this because my cat Phoebe does this to me every night.

But they don't really like going places. They would prefer to do nothing.

You can try to make them, but they revert back to inaction. Always.

Natsume does nothing all the time. It's his favorite thing to do.

Cats also typically dislike when they're introduced to a new cat in their home. Especially at first, they might be cruel to the new cat, but in time, they might get attached.

Cats do this often. They look at you, spot your interest, and then run, for the sole purpose of making you chase them. They do this on purpose. They like the chase. They will stop and let you pet them eventually but they need to play the game first. I'm not making this up. This is true.

And to wrap things up, I will conclude with pages I had in my folder with unclear captions that I saved too long ago and now no longer remember where I was going with them.

Titled, "catlike". I agree, but I can't explain it.

Titled, "gives cat vibes." Don't know what that's supposed to mean. He does look like a black cat here though.

Titled, "hes a cat i can tell". Very unhelpful to me. I guess it's just a vibe?

"hes a cat what do u want me to say" Well, past!Anya, I want you to say specifically where you were going with this. But I'll bite. He does seem like a cat here.

"omg just like a cat". Have no idea if this is about what Aoi is saying (misunderstood and thought of as scary, like a cat) or Natsume in the background doing fuck all. Maybe both. Either way, I agree.

And to finally finish off, let's discuss the fact that the person he gets along best with is Ruka, who has the animal pheromone alice. Unlike literally every other person on the planet, Natsume has never been angry at Ruka. He loves Ruka. He always loved Ruka. Natsume is a cat.

(This is clearly a joke. Natsume is not nice to Ruka because he's under the affect of animal pheromones. Because Natsume is a human being. But it's a funny joke. Their friendship is very clearly authentic and beautiful. Natsume is kind to Ruka because Ruka is perfect and has never done anything wrong ever, in his life.)

BONUS

Not related to cat stuff, but this one was funny:

"AND HERE COMES NATSUME WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!"

Okay I'm done now! Thanks so much for reading this silly nonsense rambling. It was fun to put together and I hope it was a fun read too! Have a great day/night. I'm very tired and this took longer than I thought it would, so I'm going to sleep. Love y'all <3

Also, in case y'all missed the first two parts, they are as follows:

Part 1. or Part 2.