#bc im scared ill hate it but

[kellyscowboy]

꒰✧ᯇ✦꒱ DON'T BE SORRY FOR LEAVING AND GROWING OLD || ch. 3

ᯇ summary ! ✦ Jack Kelly finally gets out of New York and makes something of himself. Though, he's never been good at goodbyes and David won't answer his letters. || read full thing on ao3 now WRITTEN FOR THE NEWSIES FIC EXCHANGE ᯇ warnings ! ✦ cussing & angst 396 WORDS © 2023 , 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐲

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Jack never got a letter back from David. It had been a year since he wrote the first letter, and he had sent many more since then.

Dear David,

My first letter might have gotten lost. Or maybe you chose not to answer it, and that’s fair. I forgot to mention that I’m married. I am. Her name is Darla. We’re not in love.

I thought I was in love with her. But she knew I wasn’t. I feel bad. I didn’t know I was hurting her.

We still live together. I love her, she loves me. But we’re not in love.

It took me a while to realize it, she realized it far sooner.

If you ever get a chance to see my paintings, you’ll know what I mean.

  Sincerely,

Your Cowboy

Dear David,

My paintings have changed a lot from when you knew me. They’ve changed a lot since I moved out here, too. I think you’d like them.

Tell the boys I’m sorry. They didn’t deserve me. I’m sorry.

You were right. I ruined myself.

  Jack Kelly

Some of his letters were pages long, others had less than five sentences. None of them ever received a response. Darla watched as he deteriorated.

His art had reached its peak. It was showcased in different countries and paintings he sold at local café’s skyrocketed in prices. After a short two years of painting, he decided he was ready to retire.

“Are you sure, Jack?” Darla asked. “Since the first day I met you, this life has been your dream. Are you really ready to give it up?”

“Darla, all this life does is remind me of the one I left behind. I just want to be done with it. It was never worth it.” Jack frowned.

At the grand opening of the Santa Fe Museum: Home of the Cowboy, Jack officially announced his retirement. The halls of the museum were filled with his art, along with works inspired by him and other small artists in their town. His last piece, his kiss goodbye to the world he had longed for, would sit in the middle of the building. It would be illuminated by lights and have a plaque naming the piece ‘an end of an era.’

Jack knew that there was no other way to end his career than with the way he started it.

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[skunkes]

^_^

[karamazovanon]

you cannot exhume a soul

— "Either he will rise up in the light of truth, or … perish in hatred, taking vengeance on himself and on everyone else for his having served that in which he does not believe" (The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoevsky tr. McDuff, p. 837)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back

it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it

[punk-mas]

i wanna cry i rlly hate being new to things

[gigifujijifu]

Anyone else remember the little 88x31 buttons from older internet days? I've been remembering them a lot lately.

I make ffxiv ones in msp when I'm in queue or my bf is flying me around between quests.

[apolohgy]

hello beautifuls, i got a job offer last week in [redacted] and i’m so grateful and excited to be… making money again! and to finally have my own place and fix it up to my taste and get 2 cats 🥹 there’s a job in [redacted] w the same exact salary range and i’m really hoping i get it bc it’s a much more desirable hot girl walkable city. my final interview for that job is next wednesday send hot girl city job offer vibes my way pls

[gunpowder-tim]

anyway having to call an ambulance is so very stressful what the fuck is up with that.

[everythingsinred]

Natsume Is a Cat (pt. 3)

If anyone is looking at this nonsense... thanks. Isn't the world golden on our side of things? Let's get back to it, to our academic and scholarly research!

Where were we? Onto cats likes and dislikes?

Cats don't much like water. They don't care for swimming and avoid it when possible (that doesn't mean they're dirty though; cats are very good at self-grooming).

Water bugs them, after all.

But the dark doesn't! Cats have a tapetum lucidum in their eyes which lets them see in the dark, so there's nothing to fear even in total darkness.

They tend to underestimate their weight and enjoy sitting on chests if they so choose, even if the person they're sitting on doesn't like it as much.

I had to include this because my cat Phoebe does this to me every night.

But they don't really like going places. They would prefer to do nothing.

You can try to make them, but they revert back to inaction. Always.

Natsume does nothing all the time. It's his favorite thing to do.

Cats also typically dislike when they're introduced to a new cat in their home. Especially at first, they might be cruel to the new cat, but in time, they might get attached.

Cats do this often. They look at you, spot your interest, and then run, for the sole purpose of making you chase them. They do this on purpose. They like the chase. They will stop and let you pet them eventually but they need to play the game first. I'm not making this up. This is true.

And to wrap things up, I will conclude with pages I had in my folder with unclear captions that I saved too long ago and now no longer remember where I was going with them.

Titled, "catlike". I agree, but I can't explain it.

Titled, "gives cat vibes." Don't know what that's supposed to mean. He does look like a black cat here though.

Titled, "hes a cat i can tell". Very unhelpful to me. I guess it's just a vibe?

"hes a cat what do u want me to say" Well, past!Anya, I want you to say specifically where you were going with this. But I'll bite. He does seem like a cat here.

"omg just like a cat". Have no idea if this is about what Aoi is saying (misunderstood and thought of as scary, like a cat) or Natsume in the background doing fuck all. Maybe both. Either way, I agree.

And to finally finish off, let's discuss the fact that the person he gets along best with is Ruka, who has the animal pheromone alice. Unlike literally every other person on the planet, Natsume has never been angry at Ruka. He loves Ruka. He always loved Ruka. Natsume is a cat.

(This is clearly a joke. Natsume is not nice to Ruka because he's under the affect of animal pheromones. Because Natsume is a human being. But it's a funny joke. Their friendship is very clearly authentic and beautiful. Natsume is kind to Ruka because Ruka is perfect and has never done anything wrong ever, in his life.)

BONUS

Not related to cat stuff, but this one was funny:

"AND HERE COMES NATSUME WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!"

Okay I'm done now! Thanks so much for reading this silly nonsense rambling. It was fun to put together and I hope it was a fun read too! Have a great day/night. I'm very tired and this took longer than I thought it would, so I'm going to sleep. Love y'all <3

Also, in case y'all missed the first two parts, they are as follows:

Part 1. or Part 2.

[ibtrashwhore]

Since this has been my pinned for awhile, and I like it, I'll just say commissions are technically open,, PayPal Zelle or uh Identity V top up since comms would probably go to that anyway,,, I'll still draw for free if I can stare at Warden btw I want him bad ,,, or skinshare me True Proof she's so aughhh<3,,, former A badge Barmaid cough cough hehe..

My discord is: mymalewives

Dumb dumb talks about lazy price ↓

Bust : sketch $1 - line $3 +color $1

Waist/thigh up : sketch $3 - line $5 +color $3

Full body : sketch $5 - line $10 +color $5

+ character x2

Idk it's whatever I guess I'll draw for a dollar 🙏 I just want idv money,,,

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

jensen in one of his smiley cuddley moods,, disgusting

[nyxypoo]

I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOUUUUUU!!!!!!

REALLY NO WAY OMG

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[prestonmonterey]

the gay urge for physical touch (like platonically its just comforting) battling the autistic urge for people to get the fuck away from me

[downsteepy]

if i may speak about my epilepsy out of nowhere for a moment . i rarely see other epileptics or just people in general talk about how like.. frankly just fucking annoying it is wrt the concept of driving. you have seizure. you are recommended to not drive for at least 6 months. this is worse if you're someone that has seizures everyday or every other day. im in seizure jail i cant drive right now even if i wanted to. why is my brain taking a part of my independence away