#bc im “not allowed to be batman”

[funsizedcrow]

i have been attacked by a three year old

[starry-bi-sky]

i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.

He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.

And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.

And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.

Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.

Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."

There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.

It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.

Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.

At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.

"Do you like to do anything?"

Nothing. Just silence.

Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.

Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.

Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.

And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.

He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.

Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.

So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.

"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"

"Don't."

He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.

Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"

"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."

It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"

The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."

Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."

And they fall back into silence.

Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."

He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.

(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)

At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.

Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.

("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")

(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)

(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)

It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."

The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."

The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.

When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.

Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.

"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."

When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.

Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.

[dukeofthomas]

I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!

and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!

[oifaaa]

Does Bruce care about Jason Todd at all?

Depends on who's writing, if you only take into account good batman writers then the answers a resounding yes, he may not be great at showing it at times but Bruce has stated multiple times that he cares and loves all his kids including Jason

[pinkopalina]

I love hearing people's batjokes shipping origins because a lot of them are like omg yeah the lego movie omg yeah telltale omg yeah deadly duo and killing joke meanwhile mine was learning about batman who laughs :)

[lunar-lair]

never going to be over red hoods muzzle/actual hood look. its so good. like, just. the muzzle period. my baby boy who is a wolf and a dog and loyal and bites and should not be trusted and just wants to go home. you could even slap it on the original red hood outfit and id be happy!! i just like it when his hair is visible ok :( and also muzzles are cool

[talia-kane]

you can judge a batman adaptation solely based on if the villians look styled to the nines or if they're wearing regular clothes

[wildshadowtamer]

Its wild growing up in a household that was both marvel and dc orientated, and then never actually interacting with any of the media, because its left me with such a distorted concept of what either multiverse is. Like, i thought spiderman was a dc character for deadass 10 years until end game came out and i was like hey wait.

[house-of-stars]

does someone want to send me $8 so I can buy a lego batman keychain. there is no reason for this just that i can’t justify it

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Broke: everyone fights over whose Batman’s favorite

Woke: everyone fights over whose Dicks favorite bc Dick isn’t an emotionally stunted loser (I shit talk Bruce so much but I love him, he’s just also a loser) and trying to get in the bats favor is like trying to catch sand in a sieve

————

Damian: obviously I’m Graysons favorite I was his Robin

Tim: dude I was the first Robin he trained and we still talk every day I am 100% the favorite

Steph: fuck you! You disappeared off the the face of the earth when he was Batman I was actually here I’m 100% the favorite everyone knows Wing loves me.

Jason: Dick willingly went to Gotham to spend time with me even when he was mad at Bruce. Has Dick ever been in Gotham when he was mad at Bruce for you guys? No? Didn’t think so?

Damian: ….

Steph:…

Tim: that’s because you sucked so much he thought you’d get blown up trying to have to bludhaven.

Jason: oi! Low blow, you can’t use a man’s death against him

Damian: shut up we’ve all died before

Steph: you literally said you were allowed to break Tim’s laptop bc you died b4

Jason: yeah it’s MY DEATH I can use it how I want

Tim: we really gonna call your 14yr old 4’7 self a man?

Cass: he helped me train when B rejected me I’m the favorite

Tim: you can’t be Dicks favorite you’re already Bab’s favorite those are the only 2 likable older members of the family. (They’ve decided Alfred doesn’t count since he’s legally not allowed to have favorites)

Dick: Duke is my favorite

Damian: what?

Tim: how?

Jason: this shit is rigged

Steph: What?? You barely spend time with him?

Duke who has been eating popcorn quietly this whole time:???

Dick: he doesnt steal my suit and murder people

Jason: …

Dick: or tell his friends I threatened to send him to Arkham when I told him to get therapy

Tim:…

Dick: or break into my apartment at 3am because he can’t communicate with his father

Damian:…

Dick: or make me believe he flatlined on the operating table

Steph: …

Dick: or tell me he can’t meet up for a bust because he’s too busy fighting Wonder Woman a hero we work with over text with no context and then go AWOL for 5 days

Cass:…

Dick: or overload his plate with 50 million things I will have to come in and help with

Everyone:

Steph: he started a cult tho??

Dick: was it before or after he was fostered bc if it was before it’s. Not. My. Problem.

Duke: I’m the favorite???

Dick: also I feel like if I died you’re the most likely to take over my duties and not go on a quest for vengeance or try to clone me or put me in the Lazarus pit.

Jason: ID NEVER PUT you in the Lazarus pit…. No comment on the rest tho.

Tim: ditto

Damian: meh you are superior to Todd and he’s relatively functional post the pit I don’t see the issue here.

Steph raising hand: I wouldn’t-

Dick: or help TIM do it

Steph lowering hand:

Dick: plus you have a parent so I don’t have to do 80% of the child rearing while giving Bruce credit

Duke still a little star stuck bc that’s nightwing: IM THE FAVORITE.

[pup-pee]

AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHAPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Batshape Poll

in that I have some Batman screenshots where they make him just a blob of a shape and so like @pup-pee wanted me to make this a poll so here we go a poll!! Examples are gonna be under the cut cause it's long!! also ignore that it's all The Batman Strikes because uhhhhhhh those are the only ones I have access to right now-

The Batman Strikes #1

The Batman Strikes #2

The Batman strikes #3

The Batman Strikes #3: Electric Boogaloo

The Batman Strikes #4

The Batman Strikes #5

The Batman Strikes #5: Electric Boogaloo

The Batman Strikes #5: The Reckoning

[damianwaynerocks]

back on my batfamily true crime bs

bruce and jason get into a huge argument. a massive one that ends in jason being barred from going on patrol with them. so what does he do? silly revenge.

jason todd starts an anonymous true crime podcast called that’s just called “todd tales.” it’s an investigative podcast about the death of jason todd.

since he’s legally dead & decides to be an anonymous podcaster, he goes full in. talks about his upbringing, saying things like “i spoke to one of jason’s old neighbor’s and this is what she has to say”

and the “neighbor” is stephanie who thinks it’s hilarious and goes along with it. “he and his mom’s boyfriends always got into fights,” she says with a british accent, “and one time i heard him & his dad yelling at each other, and then there was a loud crash. i walked out and his dad was at the bottom of the stairs.”

which leads jason to speculate that jason todd killed him, calling him “a badass motherfucker no wonder bruce wayne was in such awe of him”

and then as the episodes progress he talks about the theory that “jason todd secretly became robin but because he was so smart and cool bruce wayne had no idea that he was fighting with batman”

he has theories that he “investigates.” he goes over the official story- that jason was traveling with bruce, got kidnapped and held for ransom but something went wrong & he was accidentally killed - and then he says “but that’s fucking bullshit *laughs* as thought bruce wayne couldn’t pay a ransom”

his next theory is the truth, that he was robin & got murdered by a villain. he has two guests to prove it.

“im alvin draper, bruce’s former assistant,” tim (who is mad at bruce for making him go on a patrol on bernard’s birthday) says with a voice modular, “and i remember, after jason died, bruce ordered me to call the mortician who did the autopsy and tell him that bruce was offering him $1,000,000 to get out of gotham & sign a non-disclosure form to never speak about jason.”

jason then gets an “autopsy tech” who helped with the autopsy, the tech that bruce supposedly didn’t know was in the room because “bruce wayne is fucking stupid”.

“of course, the truth needs to be out there,” roy says dramatically. “no way he was accidentally shot like the official story says. he had several broken bones, obvious signs of blunt force trauma, and several burn scars, but absolutely no bullet holes.”

he gets hate comments about how he shouldn’t be talking about a dead teenager, but he doesn’t stop. (jason secretly loves it because it makes him feel like he hasn’t been forgotten) (but also he finds it hilarious bc they have no idea)

and bruce is furious. he knows it’s jason. he makes an official statement saying that the podcast is horrible and disrespectful. dick makes one too, saying that he can’t believe someone would do this about his little brother.

bruce, dick & damian hound jason to stop it. bruce yells at him, dick is trying to be nice because “i understand, but-“ and damian is like “i know i’ve given up murder but you’re considered dead anyways so therefore it does not count”

then alfred tells him, sternly, “master jason, please stop.” and jason feels so bad, so small because, like, it’s alfred, and deletes the podcast after the final episode.

but he’s still not allowed back on patrol.

[xxx-theartofsuicide-xxx]

ngl im not really surprised winona ships beetlebabes and im not sure why others are. iirc she shipped veronica and JD when she was doing heathers. not sure why people are ok with that ship but not ok with beetlebabes but alright (this is coming from somebody who isnt really a shipper.)

Think about it from her perspective. Lydia was her breakout role. She was some teenage nobody on set with fucking Batman, and on top of the sheer stardom I'm sure MK was cool as fuck to her and in general a lovely person and costar. She obviously ships it, how could she not?

People freak out about beetlebabes bc it's one of the scary age gap ships. Misogynists think women and girls are too stupid to discern the difference between fiction and reality, and that we shouldn't be allowed to enjoy fictional relationships of this nature or else our dumb little girl brains will make us want to emulate it.

That's literally the argument.

Edit: MK wasn't in Batman until after Beetlejuice but idc my point still stands.

[cleromancy]

oracle year one born of hope from batman chronicles #5 (published 1996) is hands down the best defridging story ive ever read for a lot of reasons--the first being just that its such a damn good comic in the first place. but every time i read it im so struck by the way it reframes the casual *incidental* violence done to barbara in TKJ, where she's just an obstacle in the joker's way to get to jim (to get to batman) and it's not *about* her. on the very second page of OYO we have this:

the entire page (...minus bruce in the bg up there) is drawn from barbaras point of view while she recounts the incident from her hospital bed. literally recentering her and her perspective, her experience and her feelings. where TKJ sensationalizes and sexualizes the violence done to her we see an illustration of her choice--love for her father, "don't get up"--then the shock and pain of the injury, then the operating room.

and she opened the story with "i cant believe i was such an idiot," berating herself for not looking through the peephole or using the chain on the door before she opened it, emphasizing that she knew better, and its a very human response to being the victim of something like this--almost fixating on a small mistake you made. inside the story its about the grief and the sense of control bargaining gives you--"if only i had--!" and then on the meta level its actually addressing the "well why DIDNT barbara look through the peephole???" (<- the answer being that TKJ never considered whether or not she would have, bc that was less important to the story than hurting her.)

and the next page. god. its masterful:

the balance of OYO being a response to TKJ on a meta level and the genuine story-level exploration of barbaras feelings just in the first 3 pages alone... chefs kiss. the way it addresses the previous bullshit storytelling choices--but builds something new off of them, because that shouldn't be the end of barbaras story.

and its so fantastic bc it doesn't shy away from barbaras ugly feelings...

she's so angry and she's allowed to be. and thats also what makes it such a good defridging--that its a resonant portrayal of becoming disabled. anger, grief, humiliation, shame, fear, the absolute *slog* that is recovery, the realization that your independence has been compromised... it really reckons with what this means for her in that moment and moving forward.

just posting this one bc i love her...

and the crux of the story is barbara taking control back over her life, barbara not feeling helpless anymore. its a superhero origin story to its core and its fantastic at what it does.

and i mean... i do always feel iffy about this part:

the juxtaposition of her wanting to do this without batmans help with her, well, unknowingly accepting bruces help. makes seesaw motion with hand. i always feel like its a bit of a weak spot... i like elements of it, particularly *because* this work is addressing so much of TKJs bullshit; this is making bruce actually care about barbaras injury because fuck you he *should* care, he *should* do something. and barbaras need for independence and her struggles to accept help are pretty central to her character and in a story about disability... i mean interdependence is a core tenant of disability rights activism, no man is an island and all that. but btwn it being bruce who finds richard dragon for her to train with, and richard dragon both being yknow a man and not a wheelchair user himself, it falls flat. which is really something you notice bc the rest of the story is so damn good... its hard for me to put my finger on exactly what i think they should've done instead, bc they only had 18 pages for this story and like. it's incredibly tight, not a panel wasted, so it *was* important that barbaras teacher be someone we the reader already know, and there was no *time* to establish some other way for barbara to find someone of richard fucking dragons caliber on her own without bruces connections.

but that i guess does bring me to. the other thing i find frustrating re: OYO which is just that it's. 18 pages collected with two other stories, neither of which is memorable... i mean how many other year ones of a heavy hitter like barbara freakin gordon can you think of with less than a single full issue? and batgirl year one had 9 issues (9 mediocre, mediocre issues). i dont think OYO needed that much time (but hey neither did fucking bgyo)... but come on. come on!!!!!!

anyway whatever. oracle sweep

[bluegarners]

hi!!

📖 - A story idea you haven’t written yet

🌶️ - A trope you’re loving right now

☄️ - most unpopular opinion about a fandom character

VECH!! my dear friend that has both magnitude and direction...

📖 - A story idea you haven’t written yet

okay so you know this scene from the incredibles?? so so so badly i want to write a fic with batman dick, steph, and damian. anyone else is free to write with this idea if they'd like bc im so strapped for time idk if it'll ever happen, but like in my head it goes like:

dick!bats is on a mission outside of gotham and gets captured by the al ghuls. alfred realizes that dick hasn't returned on time and sends steph and damian after him (stupid stupid man!!! but who else is he gonna tell to go after him? who knows!!). steph and damian take the batplane and barbara as oracle virtually flies them to dick's last known location. however, ra's sends missiles to explode the plane bc he thinks it's just barbara since that's who he hears over the controls. barbara is doing her best to evade the missiles, and dick is horrified that she might die (he doesn't know it's just steph and damian on the plane) and ra's thinks it's funny. talia is also there but hasn't said anything yet (at the moment, she is still grieving bruce and is conflicted about dick being batman. she knows damian is active as robin). eventually, barbara realizes that the batplane is going to get hit by the missiles, which is when she says, "THERE ARE CHILDREN ABOARD THIS PLANE!" and ra's and talia both realize that means damian is on that plane. it's too late to abort though and the batplane takes a direct hit from one of the missiles, exploding. dick is horrified and devastated, raging and screaming, and ra's and talia are both quietly shocked. however, what they don't know, is that steph and damian were successfully able to escape, jumping from the plane at the last minute. dick is transported away from the holding cell he was originally in and thrown into some deep hole (literally), while ra's sends people out to scope the area where the batplane exploded. meanwhile, talia is also searching for the children, trusting that her son wasn't killed. later, it's revealed that damian was struck by some of the debris when the plane exploded, leaving steph to take care of him and get them to relative safety. when talia finds evidence of damian being alive, but not damian himself, she goes back to dick and leaves an escape for him- the action serving as a kind of apology. when she leaves, she tells him to take excellent care of her son and that the only reason dick is currently alive/allowed to leave is because of him. dick responds with something snarky about talia being the one to blow him up in the first place. dick is relieved that everyone is alive and manages to climb out of the hole and go searching for damian and steph

there's more to it, like steph doing a lot of cool stuff like breaking into the secret compound dick was investigating and basically finishing what dick started, and damian having a confrontation with the al ghul's that culminates in him convincing ra's to let everyone leave the island. i think? in my head? he offers to let talia come with them, with the grudging agreement of dick bc he just wants to get off the stupid island, bc damian knows that ra's anger is going to be violent and long lasting after this kind of humiliation, but talia says no and just hugs her son before disappearing. IDK. it's a LOT and SO bright in my head, but i simply don't have the time to make an actual fic of it

🌶️ - A trope you’re loving right now

dick and bruce finding each other in every universe. it's so tasty and so so good. i love their loyalty and devotion!!!!! they are tied together and i love it when authors make that clear and devastating bc wow what an awful yet fulfilling way to live. chained!!!

☄️ - most unpopular opinion about a fandom character

not a character i suppose, but i really don't think dick and barbara make a good couple... they're much more interesting as friends and them as a couple is kind of boring and predictable and watered down. they're both so much more badass and cool when they're just friends and not dating each other. i feel like every iteration of them as a couple just kind of wittles them down to weird stereotypes where barbara has to wrangle dick in from being a womanizer or doing something stupid, and it's just... barbara is not a babysitter!! dick is not some stupid himbo!! let them be better than that!!

[lazaruspiss]

Begging for jaydick headcanons because I'm also a Jaydick hoe 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

where do i begin. horny? horny probably.

Dick bottoms like 90% of the time but as far as any dom/sub things go those two are the switches to end all switches. both need to be told they're a Good Boy while getting the soul fucked out of em and both need to dote on the other and remind them how much they like (love) them.

i think they'd also both have a bit of a sadistic streak, but Dick is the only masochistic one. i don't think Jason would be too big on being roughed up in a sexual context, i just can't picture it. no physical roughness, no particularly intense degradation, but that just means Dick has to get creative lol. though on the subject Dick also wouldn't /like/ feeding his own sadism.

i have a fair few sadist Dick thoughts based of off the times in canon where he hurts someone, recognizes that he enjoys it, and express at least some level of disapproval towards himself for feeling that way. no one really talks about how Dick does seem to, yknow, like fighting. not bc he's some angry violent asshole or bc it's violence for the greater good, but just bc it scratches the ever persistent adrenaline need in his brain.

hmmmm. Dick getting fed up with Jason being too thoughtful. we're gonna tread a tiny bit into projection territory but stick with me. when someone spends too much time being used by people or constantly shaping themselves around what others want it can kinda fuck up their head. when someone approaches without wanting that, without wanting them to shape themself around what they want, it can be a shock. Jason so aggressively wants Dick to be independent and true to himself that it's something they fight over, bc Dick's entire life has revolved around serving others and Jason can't just uproot all that by telling him his entire life is a lie and that he should reevaluate everything about himself and everyone around him. ok yeah im having flashbacks to the jaydick thing i wrote forever ago. (x)

they can both cook and take turns planning meals, with one making sure to call/message the other if they get busy with something so that they can adjust their plans around whatevers happening. i can also see cooking being a bit personal and intimate to them. Jason sticks to eating shitty fast food most of the time and never really cared about proper meals when he was on his own, but now he has someone to come home to. someone to eat with. he cares a lot about cooking well because he wants to show without words just how much it means to him to have Dick around. Dick has been shown to cook for people when they come over, so i think it'd just feel like basic courtesy to him. some sort of standard politeness to feed and welcome his guests if he can. he wears himself thin a lot of the time and doesn't tend to make an effort to cook when it's just him, but when he does cook he enjoys it. repetitive motions, straightforward instructions, relaxing sounds and smells, cooking is fun. seeing Jason gorge himself is also very heartwarming, and more filling than any meal.

theyd have a mutual agreement to, /if/ they have kids, raise them non-religious. between Jason "possibly catholic but also died and so it's complicated" Todd and Dick "my religion is Batman" Grayson, they really don't wanna pass on any of that to any theoretical kids.

on the subject of child rearing still: i think Dick would be against sending them to any kind of private school. he had a very not good time there and thinks that if theres gonna be a chance for their kid to be picked on either way than he'd rather not waste the money. if anything he thinks private school would be worse, because all those shitty rich kids know each other and each others parents and he'd really prefer his kid not being beat up and called slurs bc of who their parents are. he'd rather homeschool if their schedules allowed it but he recognizes that would be too impractical. Jason would have more mixed feelings, bc there can be a bit of an advantage in the long run from having gone to a reputable and recognizable school, but he also isn't sure it's worth having an argument about when chances are the kids gonna learn all the important stuff from them anyways. there is a very tense conversation to be had before enrolling their baby in kindergarten.

they have a few too many conversations about theoretically having kids for guys who don't have the guts to just go for it. waiting for an orphan to drop in their laps like theyre fuckin batman. idiots.

they're a bit worried about the Titans' reaction but the worst that happens is Wally giving an exaggerated sigh as he gives Donna her well earned 50 bucks. everyone saw it coming, and you two are hopeless. Wally is excited to be Dick's best man for realsies this time, and Jason is on the receiving end of a few too many shovel talks. by the time Roy gets to him it's turned into

Roy: yeah i dont need to say it do i. blah blah hurt him and ill kill you and all that. congrats on the boyfriend.

Jason: oh cmon, i thought you would at least have some faith in me.

Roy: bros before hoes, sorry man.

Jason: ... excuse me?

Gar's version of a shovel talk is just turning into a grizzly bear and doing the "ive got my eyes on you" gesture. anyways Bruce is invited to the wedding on the condition that his assigned seat is next to the Riddler and he has to pretend that Brucie has gotten real into riddles lately. he has to laugh at Eddie's jokes under the threat of never being allowed to contact Dick or Jason again. Jason suggested it bc he thought it would be funny, Dick rolled his eyes but agreed bc it means Bruce can't corner him to berate him about his life choices.