#bc if it’s not that hard… making would be so much cheaper than buying… a whole new world of baklava would open up

[feyburner]

I got a craving for spanakopita and the grocery store had all the ingredients except frozen phyllo so now I guess I’m gonna attempt to make phyllo. Pls work 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[tyranasaurusbec]

ouagh this cosplay shit is spensive

like fabric costs i'm used to and like i use coupons and shit at joanns but like the foam building??? wayyyyyyyyyy pricey

i have a crafting exclusive budget and i just went over it for the first time in 2 and a half years (it's 50/month + rollover from other months and like... i've spent almost $250 this month yikies) cause i gotta buy all this new shit - and yeah it's an investment bc i plan on continuing to do this + probably take more commissions from friends again but like as someone who hates spending money this is driving me all kinds of crazy

also i bought a pattern from someone and literally the instructions are so bad and there's a note that says "if you have any questions ask us on social media" so i did (after much psyching myself up) and then he told me he'd send me a video but then didn't - i followed up like 3 days later and he left me on read :( like why tell me you're gonna do it if you're not gonna do it or give me a time frame when i follow up like i assumed he was just going to give me a 360 view of the part i asked about or like tell me which pieces connect to which because it's VERY unclear from the instructions

[hibiscusseaart]

family headcanons! really leaning onto Hatake side

Thinking about how out of all the kids Motoko who is the most Uchiha looking, Uchiha jutsu, future clan head, acts A LOT like Hatake. She'd devour a steak with blood, as a kid she'd bite everyone.

Many people thought that she gets it from Madara, cuz he looks like he's fucked up in the head ( i mean they are correct but he didn't bite ppl and doesn't like blood and raw meat in his food). But no, it's actually Hatake blood from Tobirama.

Nari would be quite the Hatake too cuz she'd be like "I need to challenge every single authority to make sure they have the right to boss me around"

Akemori, even if he looks the most Hatake, he has more Senju temper and behaviour. But he did bite, cuz that's how they do that in the family. But actually if you let any child to bite without consequences and even encouraging it, they would.

Tobirama would be "ah the normal child behaviour". He'd gently bite all of his kids and ofc Madara too. He's a mate now after all.

Sometimes Tobirama even playfights his pups. For Uchiha it'd quite a culture shock, cuz they got used to ethereal, calm and graceful clan head's spouse. To see him goofing around with his kids and throwing them in the dirt and sometimes biting them. Who does that?!

Madara is perfectly okay with that, even though he had to get used to a child regularly nibbling his arms or neck. Izuna, unexpectedly, took it well. He'd bite his nephew and nieces out of spite, cuz how DARE they.

Also Nari looks a lot like Tobirama and Izuna's daughter. Plus when she grows up she'd also wear a ponytail. Madara is torn cuz he loves his brother very much, but also it's HIS daughter.

also idk if Izuna would marry and have his own kids. he's too busy suspecting Tobirama and spoiling his nieces and nephew.

Oh, I forgot to talk about their senses! All the kids are quite good sensors, cuz, Tobirama is one, Madara too, so it's only logical. In the future Uchiha would actually possess a nice line of sensors in the main branch.

So from best to worst: Tobirama. Akemori, Nari, Madara, Motoko.

Motoko isn't the best sensor, but she inherited Hatake's nose! She hates spicy food bc of it and actually bland food. It's her very not-Uchiha trait, that made her a nightmare to feed when she was a child. Uchiha like their food really seasoned*.

Motoko's fav food is steak with blood and sashimi.

** interesting thought occured to me, Senju probably grow many plants, food and spices as well. It was probably a tradition that came around when not only Hashirama was the Mokuton wilder but many in the clan. I believe it was hard to keep Mokuton babies alive bc or the violent nature of it. Imagine how actually happier Uchiha became when they could buy spices SO much cheaper than to import it from somewhere else. Plus of course it's much more cheaper to buy food from close by Senju and then in the village. One of the reasons not to be against peace :)

Ofc the minute Tobirama's aunt - the Hatake clan head - hears that he has his own pup, she'd get the whole clan to go to Konoha for a visit!

Uchiha, and other clans are terrified. Hatake don't have a nice reputation and now the whole clan wants to visit??? With kids (which they're very possessive and protective) and huge wolves??? And the Hokage lets them cuz the clan head is his aunt???? No wonder Senju are so weird sometimes.

While the Hatake visit, every clan prays that it's just a visit and that they would leave (lmao no). Not only cuz they're freaky, but also of their continuous reputation of adopting any stray children.

Clans clam up and don't let their kids out of their sight.

Uchiha are especially fucked cuz the Hatake plan to visit them especially. Fucking "thank you", Tobirama, what the fuck.

And Tobirama is entirely calm about it. He treats like the usual thing ever. So when good portion of the clan goes through gates, they just SWARM Tobirama and little Motoko (she's probably a year old at this point), scenting them and trying to take a good look at the baby. Ofc they bear gifts. Meat, furs, weaponry. Maybe even wolf pup for the baby!

Though maybe at first the clan head didn't really want to acknowledge Motoko (like with Hashirama*), cuz she has really Uchiha coloring and face, so she's not really a Hatake. But Motoko started her little growls and yips and anxiously biting Tobirama cuz of many new people and smells and Tobirama's aunt was like "Oh, okay, she's one of us"

** I like the idea of Hatake clan head, who doesn't really think Hashirama is a Hatake and he's heartbroken by it. But, I think it's not because of the coloring or how he acts. I think it's mostly cuz she HATES Butsuma and when they meet for the first time Hashirama was really hero worshipping his father and it ticked Hatake off. So she probably never actually try to connect with Hashirama again cuz she's still sure that Hashirama is the same as Butsuma.

Maybe Butsuma took her sister as a bride in a marriage hunt and Hatake were pissed, but accepted it, cuz Senju are much stronger and have more ppl. If they'd angered Senju they'd be destroyed.

Because of it, Tobirama never actually considered to make Madara his husband this way. Plus I think for this to work the way he wanted (to infiltrate Uchiha) he needed to be the one who marries in the clan and if he'd try to do that with Madara it would work the other way around.

(i adopted many of @oh-no-its-bird hcs about Hatake clan if you can tell)

[faaun]

as someone who is also trying to overhaul their entire wardrobe after throwing out fast fashion pieces,, do you have any specific brands you like, advice on places to get clothes for long-term wear, etc? ty!!

thank you for asking! this is a long post but it's been my life for a bit now so i would suggest reading through it to skip the learning stages that i went through the hard way! there is some important and useful info here :) brand recs at the end

i would suggest looking for vintage or secondhand clothes first and foremost bc that's how you can find quality pieces for a reasonable price :)

if you want pure longevity, synthetics like polyester, nylon, elastane, etc will last not only your lifetime but your grandchildrens' too. they can be quite comfortable sometimes BUT:

they will likely break down in hundreds of years

they are NOT biodegradable and so will break down into microplastics and toxic microfibers

for me and a lot of others, you will notice the difference in quality in synthetics vs fabrics like cotton and virgin wool. i refuse to buy synthetics for the above reasons but also bc they just Feel Worse idk how to explain iykyk (tip especially valuable for autistic ppl)

brands: all depend on style so look for the styles you like/want to dress in on pinterest, then track down the original designer of the dress! from there you can search irl places or plug the designers into apps like:

vinted: cheaper vintage or second hand clothes from all sorts of brands

vestiare collective: more high-end, pieces are authenticated and usually in great condition

GEM: a gem of a site truly, accumulates all the finds from your search from different websites like ebay, etc

depop: honestly not the biggest fan but can be good sometimes! make sure to buy vintage/secondhand and ask sellers for the brand to not get sold an aliexpress dupe for 100 bucks

vintage shops: especially good for accessories like belts and ties. vintage shops usually have much better stuff than charity shops

kilo sales: THE BEST PLACES IRL in my opinion i got a 2k+ virgin wool coat for £20 . honestly in my experience kilo sales are great. check out Worth the Weight if you're in the UK!

remember that brand history matters! for example vivienne westwood has a great reputation as luxury punk but the pieces produced in recent years are actually very low in quality, defintely not worth the money for a lot of people! pay for quality, not just the name :) same goes for jean paul gaultier's recent pieces imo.

additional VERY USEFUL tips:

the standard zipper used by most of the companies making your garments is YKK. if you look at any zipper you're wearing rn and inspect it closely chances are you'll see YKK engraved on it. before buying a piece check that it has opti or riri zippers - this is some indication of a higher quality

one of the first things to do before buying a piece is to immediately check the materials it's made of!! the tag detailing materials is usually towards the bottom of the garment . i immediately dismiss things that have higher than 5% synthetics but i'm just rly picky w materials

EACH MATERIAL HAS DIFFERENT USES !!! BUT GENERALLY: virign wool is the best kind of wool, full-grain leather is better than most other kinds of leather, mulberry silk is better than other kinds of silk

brand recs:

yohji yamamoto, yehufan (i own a skirt by him!!), marina eerrie, ann demeulemeester, jw anderson, solovair for shoes (much better than docs), maison (martin) margiela (esp artisanal line 0), miu miu (i wear their beret i thrifted for £15 almost every day), valentino esp pre 2021 , lemaine , undercover older pieces , early raf simons , ...honestly there's a lot, if you need more send another ask or DM :)

p.s. if u can go runway shows etc go to the sample sales afterwards sometimes the pieces there are gorgeous !! but sometimes v pricey :')

all recommendations and advice, don't take my word as gospel and defintely do your own research + formulate ur own opinions ! hope this helps ♡

[loverboy-cc]

I had to restart his save since it got corrupted- which means it’s time for a new ref!!

I’ve committed to the fact that this man dresses like an 80s dad in any modern au.

Tries very hard to read as the ideal paladin, good morals, strong sense of justice n what have you. He is unfortunately full of trauma and identity issues, fear of his god is a HUGE THING and breaking his oath accidentally is a perpetual anxiety too.

I’ve also decided he has the shittiest, patchy ass beard. Usually he’s clean shaven bc he doesn’t like having facial hair but he’s not quite adept enough with a dagger to shave with one and tries exactly once to shave (failing miserably, much to Astarion’s entertainment) before giving up until act 3 when he buys himself a new razor.

I really should draw him holding the blood of lathander more but that mf is agonizing to draw man there are, so many layers to it.

I finally remembered to draw his glasses on his ref, yippee.

I’m making him an actual dnd character sheet so I’ll probably attach that once it’s done

I’m side tracked I’m supposed to be talking about his lore huh

Whoops

Anyway, tw for abandoment (passing mention) emotional abuse, death (of a parent + en masse,) mental illness that’s being ignored, chronic pain and illness (also being ignored until he can’t)

His actual like- lore lore is below the break.

Born in the underdark, his mom fucked off with him bc the underdark isn’t a great place to live generally speaking, and she had the means. His dad decided last minute to stay in the underdark.

Taken in by the temple of lathander in elturel bc his mother was chronically ill and not expecting or able to be making this kind of journey on her own with a very small child. Ended up being moved from the temple to a hospital after it was determined that she probably wasn’t getting better.

Charlie ended up being mostly raised by the temple, went to school there and was taught how to read and write + basic math. But spent most of his free time working to pay for his mother’s (and soon his own) medication.

Turns out the of the myriad of issues his mother delt with (migraines, persistent nausea and dizziness, chronic joint issues) were genetic, so by time he hit puberty he was working his ass off to pay for it.

You may ask me “cake, didn’t that aggravate his joint issues?” Yes. Badly. He was not given any other options, the fact that they were alive at all was a godsend (I use the word godsend intentionally, he believes, strongly, that lathander is keeping him alive for some reason beyond his understanding, that is the root of his devotion.)

Did you order mommy issues? Hope so bc he has them in spades. You can only be hear your dying mom say she regrets saving you life as a literal toddler so many times before it starts fucking you up, and she said it (and other delightful(/sarc) things) plenty in the months leading up to when she died.

Shortly after her death, and suddenly needing to work way less (his medication was significantly cheaper than his mothers) he devoted himself to the temple, and was eventually approached bc some kids he went to school with to see if he wanted to join their little class thing. The temple liked to train their folks in groups of 4, in hopes of building strong teams should they choose to stay together.

He agreed, and found out that the temple would pay for his medication in exchange for dedicating himself fully to his training and his studies (and occasionally them using him as a scout, being small, naturally stealthy, and decently quick had its advantages.)

Took his oath with one of the other people he was trained alongside when he was 17, and they were collectively sent to continue their training at the nearby Fort Morninglord.

Things were solid, until he was sent along with a group of seniors to Baldurs Gate as a sort of test to see how he would do on a longer mission before officially joining the Order of the Aster.

He did well, all things considered. Unfortunately between him leaving and returning is when Fort Morninglord got eaten by the shadowfell for some reason. (That’s a canon event btw)

So, with all his friends presumably dead, maybe worse, and all his shit left inside a heavily guarded, very cursed fort. He did the reasonable thing, and fucked right off.

He ended up joining one of the seniors he went to Baldur’s Gate with in going to Waterdeep, while they didn’t particularly need another paladin. The temple of lathander in Waterdeep accepted them both until they were able to find stable employment.

Charlie mainly did small jobs for merchants, working as a guard for high value stuff, moving cargo on/off boats, mostly physical labour. It didn’t pay particularly well, but he could afford a little room above a tavern, and his medication.

That’s where he was, and how he lived for almost 130 years until he got wormed.

May or may not be blindly devoted to Lathander bc of… all that. literally any bad thing to occur to him is swiftly written off as a test of his faith, surprising to damn near everyone he is not one for converting people. (He definitely reads like he would though, it’s the theology special interest, there are few gods he won’t speak extensively on. He just defaults to lathander)

Fr though? Having trouble finding a god to worship? Ask him, he will give you an answer or more accurately- a list.

Yknow when you sprinkle random facts into your characters to make them less flat? Yeah my man collects maps, particularly outdated ones.

The only reason he’s not fucked post-worm is bc it fends off the worst of his usual symptoms. He has conflicted feelings about it (on one hand, being able to put honey in his coffee and not feel like his brain is exploding is nice, on the other, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.)

Post game he is left in a… state. He’s gotten used to life with less pain and is absolutely bedridden for a WHILE bc suddenly he’s being hit with his usual pain n symptoms but he’s not used to it anymore so it’s absolutely destroying him.

[bumblebeerror]

Hey buddy!!! I have a few embroidery hoops, needles and thread, but aside from YouTube, nobody I know nearby does it often enough to give firsthand experience. I embroidered a thatch of lavender and a little bee on one of my battlejacket pockets, but it was with regular thread and a regular needle. Can you offer any insight when it comes to the actual hoops themselves, what material works best, any insider tips?

So I’m not a regular embroiderer because it hurts my hands really easy, but I AM a moron who does everything the hard way first so I do have some tips:

If you’re using regular thread, it will help the design if you a) use an embroidery needle [I think you can get them separate from other sewing supplies for like a buck or two, and I recommend getting some kind of needle polisher as well bc then it will last 538463936472 years] and double up the thread 2-3 times to bulk it up and 2) use a smaaaalll bit of glue mixed with water [or spit, I’ve done that too] to twist together the threads along their length. It just helps them go through smoother and lay flatter with less overall fiddling, and if you use School glue or spit it will wash out 👍

If you’re using bulk dollar store quality embroidery thread, you have to be *gentle as fuck* with it while youre working the design. So, work patiently in small sections and try not to yank it too much, just generally be aware that its not gonna stand much abuse until it’s actually stitched in. Also, it’s totally possible to take a pulled end, tie more on, and keep on a-truckin - just make sure you pull a few previous stitches to get to a more sturdy bit, and tie it real close so you’re not trying to pull the knot thru. It’s strength when pulled on leaves something to be desired, but it IS infinitely cheaper than buying every color ever individually for a few bucks each, so pick your poison on that one. If you wanna use good thread basically you need to have planning skills and the patience to wait till stores are open to drive out and go get shit, neither of which I have :D

As for hoops, they are So, So helpful oh my god. You can use them for darning, you can use them for embroidery, you can use them for cross-stitch, you can use scrap fabric to make patches, you can even use them to hold fabric taut to hand-stitch on patches if you need to.

Basically, If you need fabric to stay where the fuck you put it while you work, an embroidery hoop is a godsend. Most are also pretty adjustable - though you may have trouble using them with really really thick or stiff fabrics like fur or denim seams. in those cases you can always use scrap fabric to embroider your design, and then iron on or sew on your new patch.

In order to use one, you just need a bit of fabric that can reach to every curve of the hoop. you place your inner hoop under the fabric, plop your untightened outer hoop over it, and then tighten it up. in order to make the fabric taut, you can leave the hoop a liiiitle loose, and then pull at the fabric till it feels kind of like a drum. then tighten the outer hoop as far as it'll go :D Once youve done that, youre good to go.

I'd advise sketching your design in chalk/charcoal/pencil/washable marker before starting, and if you feel like it you can also mark out a grid pattern of dots using a ruler to keep your stitches the same length, but thats not super necessary.

As for fabrics that work best for embroidery, tight-woven felt is a nice backing for patches but you will struggle to get a clear sketch of your design. Cotton is gonna be easiest to use for a sketch, but its gonna be flimsier. If you can layer both inside the hoop, that would probably work out pretty well, tbh. I wouldnt use stretchy fabrics if you can help it- the resulting patch will likely shrink and the fabric itself is going to be difficult to work with especially if you arent using more expensive thread or a sharp, polished needle.

TLDR: Bulk up your normal thread and smooth it with watery glue, use an embroidery needle and make sure it stays polished, embroidery hoops are lovely, make any threadwork easier, and work best on non-stretchy fabric like denim, cotton, non-spandex poly blend, plastic leather, and probably natural leather if its thin enough.

[jemmo]

Hi! I want to finally try my hand at knitting and was wondering if you had any recs in terms of tools, material, beginner patterns to try etc. I really like some of the knit work you do so thanks for unknowingly being a push towards this interest!

🥹🥹 thank you so much anon, im so glad that you wanna try out knitting!! and that i was an encouragement omg i feel so honoured. my secret agenda is to make as many people as possible knit and finally i have one!!!

(this will be a read more bc I started ranting sorry 😭😭 i can’t be changed)

anyway, a lot of what i’d recommend looking back at when i started compared to now and what i wish i’d done differently, is definitely, before you start buying anything, look at a bunch and bunch of knitted items, pintrest is great for this, but also check out individual creators on instagram, they make for great inspiration and are a great source for finding patterns if you’re willing to pay (which unfortunately… i would also recommend, but I’ll get onto that), and figure out what you’re favourite style of knitting is. what kind of items do you want to make?? what kind look do you like, chunky knits, fine knits, interesting stitches, lace designs, cables etc?? what kind of yarns do you like the look and feel of, soft cottons or fuzzy alpaca or warm wool??? gauging these things will really help inform what you invest money on early bc it’s what you’ll be doing most before you invest on branching out. for example, I went with very normal staples bc i gravitate towards things that are very classic, not too fine knit or chunky, and usually medium weight wool, so my first purchases were three different lengths of circular 5mm needles, some worsted superwash wool yarn, and some stitch markers.

so getting into that, it’s pretty simple. you prefer fine looking knits?? buy smaller needles. you prefer chunky knits?? buy bigger needles. it might look like chunky knits are easier than fine knits, but I find that difficulty depends on the stitches and pattern, not the yarn. thinner yarn just means garments take longer to make, but it’s worth it if you prefer the look. but if you do find it hard to work on small things and think manipulating smaller loops and needles would be difficult, I’d say the best standard to start with would be 4mm or 5mm, that’s what I use to make most of my stuff. and above all, buy circular needles. whether you like working flat pieces and sewing them together or working into the round seemlessly is something you have to figure out as you go, but you can do both with circular needles while you can’t work in the round with straight needles, plus circular needles hold more stitches for bigger projects, the only downside is you have to buy needles with various length cords attaching them to use on different circumferences ie the body vs the sleeves.

as for yarn, again it’s preference for feel and style. if you want to make warm winter jumpers, get wool, and if you like making light summer tops, get cotton. there’s lots of other choices out there, i just think these are the two staples. you can also hold wool with a strand of alpaca but I wouldn’t suggest that for a first project. of course, there is also acrylic, but I prefer to use this in crochet and for things that aren’t garments, mostly bc it doesn’t have a lot of drape and is kind of rigid for clothes, and I also don’t like the feel, but of course it’s cheaper, so depending on how much you’re willing to spend, there are some good quality acrylics out there. but there’s also some good cheap wools, look for drops yarn, they have great size and colour range.

and for other bits to have, i’d suggest some circular stitch markers (if you’re working in the round), a pair of scissors, and a darning needle for sewing in ends.

as for patterns, i would really suggest using patterns you have to buy. it seems silly when there’s some free patterns, but I find they’re generally better written and come with a lot of good instruction for first timers, especially videos showing steps (petitknit and darlingjadore are very good in this respect). and bought patterns are very versatile once you get used to knitting. one of my favourite things to do and the best way to branch out in knitting is to adapt patterns you’ve already used, for example adding colour changes or intarsia patterns or changing the sleeve length or the ribbing style, there’s endless things you can do to make the same pattern into different garments entirely, so it’s a worthwhile investment.

and for what to make, again it entirely depends on what you gravitate towards. im a true believer that there is no definitive beginner project, bc knitting is very much about learning as you go, so what you want to start with is more about how much you wanna learn in one go, do you want to take it one step at a time or throw yourself in. my first project was a jumper, a raglan style knit seemlessly in the round with some extra bits thrown on top like a folded collar and German short rows for shaping, which sounds like a lot, but throwing myself at the deep end meant i familiarised myself with a lot very fast, which set me on a good path. yes, i did make mistakes, and ended up undoing the entire thing later to reuse the wool to make something else I’d wear more, but again that’s the beauty of knitting, you’re never wasting anything by trying bc you can just undo it all and start from scratch again. but saying that, real beginner projects are usually scarfs bc it’s just a rectangle and you don’t need to know any fancy techniques, just cast on, knit a bunch in stockinette, cast off, boom scarf. but i also think a vest or even a jumper is a good beginner pattern, depending on its design. vests are good bc it uses less yarn so it’s a smaller investment, plus you don’t have to content with sleeves and bc of that they’re worked up quicker. you will have to probably learn some stitches for shaping like german short rows and m1l and m1r increases, but again there’s a bunch of videos out there and it’s better to learn it and have it in your tool belt then. I also think raglan jumpers are a great starting point, especially that start with a seamless collar bc you don’t have any parts that require picking up stitches, it’s all seamless and at the end of it you get a great garment. that’s another thing i’ll say, don’t just do a project bc it’s for beginners if you don’t actually like it. it’s much better to try and make something you actually like instead of something easy that you’ll never wear or use. of the things I’ve made, petitknit is always my go to, and both the novice slip-over and the stockholm slip-over v-neck are great vests depending on whether you prefer a round or v-neck. my beginner jumper pattern was the weekend sweater by darlingjadore, but also check out easyasknit who have a whole slew of patterns designed to be easy, simple basics.

i hope this wasn’t too long or ranty but I just adore knitting, it’s just part of me at this point and I love introducing people to it. so if you have any more questions, want anything explained from sizing to gauge to terminology, or just want some more recommendations pls hit me up and I will talk your head off. and finally, good look!!! ✨

[nathank77]

3/21/24

2:15 a.m

So some good news. I called my eye wear company and I complained.. The guy I talked to at my eye wear company was so rude last night, and I brought up that they shipped them despite me putting them on hold.

I wouldn't say the guy I talked to tonight was overly nice or anything but he listened and did what I wanted. They are processing a replacement right now. I'm getting Oakley Airdrops!

They expect me to return the Ray-Bans, they sent me a prepaid shipping label but I won't..I've gotten away with this many times with my Eyewear company.

They make the new pair and send them before you send in the return. I won't abuse it further. I'm not going to complain about my Beau glasses, I love them tbh. And I don't need more than 4 pairs of glasses.

They won't be able to charge my account unless I authorized it lol to make matters better i got refunded 28$ bc the Oakley airdrops are 28$ cheaper.

So I'm paying 240$ for a pair of Ray-Bans and a pair or Oakley Airdrops. Thats about 120$ for each. Which isn't half bad.

They look very similar but this is an investment in my future Eyewear too. When I get a new script, I can get the lenses replaced somewhere for like 70$ each. Now I won't have to scour the earth for the frames I like anymore.

Half frames are available everywhere, and they are cheap af. As long as I don't end up in progressives.. but for now I'm safe.

This style of frame and color really does seem patented by Oakley and Ray-Bans, I'm not kidding. So I just spent 240$ on two frames with lenses that would have cost over 500$!

I'm excited 😊 saving the 28$ is nice too. Maybe I'll get the rimless but not anytime soon. They are cheap but I'm trying not to he ridiculous...

I had 7 pairs of glasses last year/last script, bare in mind 3 were the same pair of half frames. However, when you buy cheap frames spending 70-80$ on new lenses to be put in far exceeds the cost of what you would spend on a new pair with the same frame. That's the funny thing.

I was worried they wouldn't ship them until I sent back the Ray-Bans but they are already making the lenses! I figured if they didn't make them and kept it on hold until I shipped them back, I saved 28$. Which isn't too bad..

The kinda horrible thing is, I want to wear my half frames but I feel like if I don't wear these Ray-Bans constantly, I wasted too much money. I spent like 51$ on 2 Beau frames...

Spending 240$ on 1 pair of glasses makes you feel like you should only wear that pair... so I may never go rimless. Idk.... cause then I'll have so many choices to chose from most of them won't get enough wear time..

I will wear the half frames sometimes. I put one pair in my backpack as a spare if my current lenses get too dirty. I finally bought glasses cleaners but sometimes they just smear around the smudge.. nothing clean a pair of glasses like water and soap.. especially if it's oil from your fingers. Glasses lenses are like a magnet for the oil on your skin.

What I'm going to do is carry whatever case for my current glasses, whether it's Oakley or Ray-Bans bc the glasses are way too big for traditional glasses cases. I bought 3 glasses cases and they don't even begin to fit. Thankfully the Ray-Bans and Oakley come with their own case.

So I'll bring the case of the current pair I'm wearing, and if my glasses get dirty beyond repair, and I need to wash them bc the glasses cleaners don't do the job I will just switch to my half frames in my back pack.

I really want the rimless but I've spent 290$ on glasses altogether.... the rimless is like 50$. And idk when I'd wear them to justify it.

I suppose if you're a fulltime glasses wearer like me, you absolutely need more than 1 pair and you should have more than 2. Washing a pair with soap and water especially full framed glasses but regardless, is difficult cause they always have water droplets on them. You can try hard and get it almost perfect but it's time consuming.

As a full-time glasses wear I recommend 3 pairs. 1 for on the go to switch to assuming you scratch the lenses or they get dirty. The other two is to switch between frames at home for fashion. I'll have 4. A little too many. That's not a bad thing.

Next year I'll get my Ray-Bans and Oakley lenses replaced. I'll buy a pair of half frames from my Eyewear company and I'll get an insurnace pair that I'll upgrade to anti reflective so I can wear them. Otherwise they'll be useless. If things really work out next year I'll get half frames from my insurance and then I'll get rimless from my Eyewear company!

I don't know what frames will come in my size from my insurance so my hopes won't be too I high for that but either way I'm excited that I get to have my Ray-Bans and Oakley Airdrops!

Spending 120$ on each makes it easier to switch glasses bc I'm not joking, spending 270$ on one pairs makes you feel like you're required to wear that pair.

If my script doesn't change, I'll pay for the anti reflective on my insurance pair and then get rimless for my new fashionable choice.

No matter what I'll be spending around 300$ on glasses a year assuming I don't need Progressives. Things will have to change when that happens lol but for now let's have fun.

I'm fucking over the moon I don't need Progressives and I get to get both Ray-Bans and Oakley.

Since I hallucinate 24/7. And everything sucks. It's nice that something worked out

[lastoneout]

A real tip for moving out that saved my ass when I did?

You can get 90% of this stuff from Dollar Tree. Won't be the most high quality but I moved out on my own eight years ago and I STILL HAVE AND USE stuff I bought at Dollar Tree back then.

They have dishes, just about every type of kitchen utensil you can think of, plastic bins that work for organizing just about anything(and can be used as laundry hampers if you don't have one), cleaning supplies, hand soap and other toiletries, plungers, paper towels, aluminum foil, ziplock bags, plastic wrap, tupperware, food, like seriously they are a GODSEND! You can stock your new place with just about everything you need at Dollar Tree. Just make sure to check the expiration date on medication and food before you buy it.

And for stuff that you can't find there, go to Goodwill/A Thrift Store, Yard Sales, and/or Walmart.

Goodwill typically has appliances but make sure to check for flaking teflon before you buy pots/pans, and maybe avoid buying a used toaster just bcs toasters are REALLY hard to clean properly and a new one is honestly not that expensive(I got mine at Walmart for less than $10), but you can get dishes and kettles and eating utensils and stuff like that there no problem. Goodwill will also have curtains and sheets and blankets and towels and rags, they get a lot of other random stuff, you never know till you check, and they have sales every week based on the color of the tag on the items which helps you save even more.

Yard Sales are a mixed bag but are worth checking out, you might find vacuums or nicer appliances there but you know, use your best judgment. If it looks broken it probably is.

YMMV but Food City is good for cheaper groceries and SOME 99-cent stores have food.

Other tips: Idk why a plunger isn't on this list, fr buy a fucking plunger. Honestly, if you spend real money on anything on this list I would suggest it be a plunger, go to Home Depot or Lowe's and buy a proper one, you will probably need it, and not having one when you need one is a nightmare. You also need a mop, a bucket, and a broom, all of which can be bought at Dollar Tree. Rubber gloves are good bcs some cleaning chemicals aren't great for your skin, and sometimes you just don't want to touch gross stuff. You absolutely need a trash bin and trash bags, plastic shopping bags work in a pinch but they are NOT a replacement. I second that mugs are better than cups, you can get both at Goodwill or Dollar Tree, and if you don't want a kettle you can microwave mugs of water for tea, just be careful. If you don't want to buy cups save glass jars when you're done with them, they work fine.

Stores to avoid if you can(I know not everyone can): Target, they have a lot of stuff geared at college students who are moving out but they charge a LOT. I occasionally go there for nice, little things, but I would never suggest buying everything there unless you're loaded. I have read so many horror stories about Dollar General and Family Dollar, and they charge about as much as Walmart so you aren't really saving money. Absolutely check expiration dates on food and medication if you shop at ANY discount/dollar store. Walgreens, CVS, and stores like it are good in a pinch but the convenience upcharge will bite you in the ass so watch out.

DO NOT PICK UP A USED MATTRESS OR COUCH OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. IT'S TEMPTING, AND A LOT OF US HAVE DONE IT, BUT YOU DO NOT WANT TO RISK FLEAS AND LICE AND MOLD AND BED BUGS. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. SAVE YOURSELF AND BUY AN INFLATABLE MATTRESS OR SOMETHING ELSE UNTIL YOU CAN GET A COUCH/MATTRESS FROM SOMEONE YOU TRUST.

Being poor sucks ass, but that list op found is absolutely setting you up to fail. I was broke as shit when I moved out tho and this is what saved me, so I hope it can be of some help.

this is the dumbest set of money saving tips i’ve seen in a hot minute and im genuinely too busy banging my head against the wall to explain why

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

my favorite halloween story has little to do with halloween but: once at a college costume party i met a post-grad student who grew up by the coast and came from a family of avid amateur (semi-professional? her mom regularly won tournament prize money) fishermen (fisherpeople?), with the result that she (the post-grad student) had grown up regularly eating fresh seafood multiple nights a week, that was the basic family meal, and when she got to college (hundreds of miles inland) suddenly fresh seafood was very hard to find (on a college student's budget) and she was so frustrated that in junior year (after she moved into a sorority house and had enough space) she concocted a plan to purchase her own aquarium specifically in order to farm/breed her own fresh seafood, and i'm assuming she was so gung-ho that she didn't do her research bc no sooner had she purchased an enormous aquarium off of [craigslist i'm assuming] than she discovered that local pet (aquarium? fish supply) stores either (1.) did not sell species of fish she was interested in eating, (2.) did sell fish she was interested in eating but they were tiny/would take too long to grow to a size worth eating, or (3.) sold fish-she-would-want-to-eat of a size-she-would-eat but at a price that made them more expensive than just going to the fish section of the local grocery store (((did she think they would be cheaper? and if so why buy an aquarium at all why not just buy and quickly consume the fish???))), or (4.) a combo nation of the 3.

But ANYWAY by this point she has already purchased the aquarium, so she goes ahead and buys some tiny fish of a species she was interested in consuming (i want to say guppies. i know they weren't guppies it was another species entirely, probably several different species, but in my headspace that detail has been overwritten with the label "[guppies]" so guppies it is). anyway the guppies don't look particularly delicious but she's observing them pretty often (multiple times a day) in order to track their growth, and soon she's regularly jotting down notes and calculating their caloric intake and predicted weight increase and she's tweaking the aquarium settings to facilitate growth and--basically she becomes an aquarium person. you know, those people who have an aquarium and are heavily mentally focused on the having and maintaining of said aquarium (often in a supposedly leisurely but also completely serious and sedately obsessive manner).

so she gets really into it, and is encouraged by her sorority sisters (who are having fun naming and making up back stories for all the different fishies), and yes i guess she also grows attached to the fish (but this isn't the story of a bunch of fish not getting eaten, ok, she doesn't eat those fish, those fish are no longer for eating, but she still eats plenty of fish whenever she gets the chance, at restaurants and at her parents' house i assume, fish are still being eaten, she does not end up a reformed former fish-eater). oh, and then she goes on to write her senior thesis (? or class thesis or. some final project paper thing) on the fish (or on her aquarium ecosystem? something to do with aquariums), and she decorates her graduation cardboard hat thing with a little finding nemo plushie sewn on.

*GASPS FOR BREATH* (no no wait. ***GULPS LIKE A GUPPY*** hah!) anyway this all happened several years before i even met this woman whose name i don't remember at a college halloween party, but the reason i know this backstory is we had both had too much halloween punch and i asked her "so what are you studying" and she started telling me about how she was in the final year of getting her PhD in Marine Conservation

[iraprince]

i've been wanting to get into digital art for a while, and I'm thinking of getting myself a tablet for this christmas. Any product recommendations?

i would say, particularly for a first tablet, i don't recommend a wacom, even though it's what i use currently (and what i'll probably get again if/when i eventually upgrade to a screen tablet). this is because, while the quality is great, they're very pricey in a way that isn't proportionate compared to other brands. it was one thing a decade ago when wacoms were often much better than other options, but now other brands have caught up and there's no reason to shell out that much extra unless there's a reason u need a wacom specifically. (i.e. i got my current wacom tablet as a gift years ago, but i would spring for wacom as a screen tablet bc i've done a lot of research on cintiqs vs other options and i think for my job i do need the extra oomph in terms of stuff like screen resolution/latency/parallax — not because a more expensive tablet/better performance will make me "draw better" but bc i spend so many hours drawing per week that better performance will reduce friction and make my job easier. if you're not concerned about "this device is about to be a massive part of my life so it had BETTER be the best machinery i can afford," i don't think the extra expense is worth it.)

also, specifically, the wacom intuos 4 pro is a piece of steaming fucking garbage from hell and its cord port WILL eventually die for no reason, and wacom support will not help you because how do you prove it died for no reason even though dozens of other ppl online have clearly experienced the exact same hardware failure, and then you will have to buy an external universal camera battery charger and remove the fucking tablet battery and charge it once every other day at an outlet BECAUSE YOU CAN'T CHARGE IT WITH THE CORD ANYMORE and only use the thing wirelessly. not that i know anything about that

so!!! with that said. my very first tablet was a tiny wacom bamboo (idk if they even make those anymore?), and after that when i had to replace it i got a monoprice. that was a long time ago so i can't vouch for current quality — pls look up recent reviews and do research on anything u pick — but my exp w monoprice was that it was crazy cheap and perfectly good quality. setting up the drivers was a complete nightmare, but once it was working it ran like a dream without any problems and i don't remember ever having to fuss repeatedly with driver resets, reinstalling shit, losing pen pressure, etc (all problems i have had with wacoms, and still do occasionally). that thing took me through several years of art school and then several more years after without an issue and only gave out when the actual hardware was starting to go from wear and tear, i.e. wires were getting loose and it had been dropped a few times.

those are the only ones i have personal experience with, but i've heard very good things about huion tablets, and they seem like a good middle ground of higher quality than monoprice vs cheaper than wacom.

general tips: get the biggest one you can afford, you'll be using it for a long time anyway and the very small ones are hell on your wrist. consider getting one with shortcut buttons; if you end up liking them you'll use them all the time, but if you don't (i never personally got into using mine!) they don't get in the way, so it's no harm. and when you get your tablet, find the pressure settings (there will almost definitely be a menu that comes w your tablet software, but also check your drawing program as well) and adjust the pressure sensitivity so you don't have to press down super hard!! this will save ur wrist.

[chaoticconstellation]

LONG POST TDLR: I own a home and here’s why it’s great and how I did it

I pay more now that I own a house in mortgage payments than when I was renting. However it’s only 100 dollars more a month. And I went from 700 sq feet to 1300. Its a 4 bed 2 bathroom home from a 2 bed 2 bath apartment. I have a front and back yard and they’re huge! I have a shed! I have storage space! We are painting the walls! We could bust down a wall if we wanted! Owning a home is excellent!

How was I able to afford to buy a home as a Gen Z and a millennial partner you may ask?? EASY! I was in a car accident that wasn’t my fault and went through a year of physical therapy only to lose the ability to write with my left hand (luckily I was ambidextrous), I have permanent nerve damage that effects my day to day life 💕 but that insurance claim of 12k PLUS a gift of 5k from my in-laws AND a gift of 5k from my parents to pay off credit cards to get a better credit score AND Tennessee first time homebuyers program, we were able to buy a house!

So essentially, it was luck 🤷 saving up 20k is insane considering I make 20 an hour, and my husband makes 20 and hour, and with our expenses we can only save about 600 a month if we don’t spend our money on ANYTHING extra. It would take over 3 years of an honestly unfulfilling lifestyle to do. AND WE MAKE A LOT OF MONEY FOR PEOPLE OUR AGE. Not to mention neither of us have student debt anymore!

If rent was cheaper, like say instead of 1.5k where I live monthly, it was 900 to 1000 people could actually afford homes! A lot of businesses could benefit from people owning their own homes. Lawn care, pest control, builders, painting companies, etc etc who gains from rental properties? landlords!!!! Yeah the builders and painters etc etc get paid too, once. pest control and lawn care companies charge a lower rate bc it’s “bulk”. So really the only people that regularly benefit is landlords.

Here’s a tip if you DO buy a home btw: for 1k per year (depending on where you live) you can buy a home warranty, which is essentially if something like an appliance breaks they come repair it much like a landlord would. It was a LIFE SAVER when I first bought my house. Whoever did the house flip bought shitty appliances and there was no way for us to know! So the Home Warranty paid for itself in saved repair costs. I cannot reccomend it enough. My air conditioner went out in the summer, in Tennessee. Repaired in days at no more than 50 dollars out of pocket. AND we had to have a huge tree removed from our front lawn bc it was dead and we are prone to tornadoes and wind storms and it was a matter of time before it would be ripped from the ground and smashed into my roof. Removed for 50 dollars. Hauled off for free. I could have kept it to make firewood or something if I had wanted but we chose not to bc we don’t have a wood burning fireplace nor another project to use it for.

I wish I could blaze this post so people could see it tbh. The world is hard my guys. Live with your parents to save money.

So if you want to buy a home, I hope you get hit by a truck (affectionately)

rent should not cost the same as or more than a mortgage

[casketcat-archived]

Various Ob.ey Me Kiwa Headcanons !

under the read more because this is a long post !!

Sleep ; Kiwa has a few odd sleeping habits! For one, she usually sleeps mostly in the nude. Typically just shorts! She overheats really quickly at night and it wakes her up, so she figured that would be the easiest way to handle that. On some nights she does just have a very loose, thin fabric nightgown though! For sleepovers where clothes are kinda, y’know, necessary— She likes tank tops and shorts!

Sleep 2 ; Kiwa sleeps with a ridiculous amount of stuffed animals and other various cozy, cuddly items. She is a ridiculously cuddly individual and actually can’t sleep well if she doesn’t have her arms wrapped around something. She also just always loves being surrounded in a little pile of soft things!! She will, however, sacrifice some of her plush space for a partner to share her bed with her though… they wouldn’t fit otherwise lol

Bed ; Kiwa’s bed is covered in stuffed animals, pink, and many kinds of pillows and blankets. She doesn’t use the blankets too much, but she likes the texture of most of them! Her bed is also set up with a soft pink sheer fabric canopy, and she has a few extra stuffed animals atop the canopy for storage in a place she can still see them when she lays down! The bed is SUPER fluffy to sit on and very cozy!!!!

Art ; Art is a very, very important thing to Kiwa! Quite a few different forms of art too! She adores painting, and actually has painted a small mural on the wall of her room! Yes, she argued with Lucifer over it at least once lol. He could not stop her no matter how hard he tried. The mural is of various types of flowers with some clouds. She adds small new things to it sometimes when she’s bored! A few of the added things have been clouds in the shapes of various animals! She’s been considering asking Diavolo if she could paint a larger mural somewhere around R.A.D.

Art 2 ; Another form of art Kiwa really adores is music! She’s generally pretty good with a two instruments— piano, taught by her mother, and the guitar she learned in high school! She doesn’t play either too much anymore, but they’re still near and dear to her heart! If you catch her glancing longingly at a piano, it’s probably cause she misses the one she has at her parent’s place back home… she’s just not gonna say anything about it.

Art 3 ; A big (but subtle) way Kiwa shows her affection is sketching things of people she’s close to. She kinda finds herself doodling crushes of hers in class pretty frequently. She also draws them gifts and little sticky notes with motivational drawings very often! That applies to friends too, they always get cute little stuff on their books, doors, and various little places they’d stumble across in their day to day! She just wants to give them little random mood boosts!

Art Supplies ; Kiwa has and uses many different types of art supplies! These take up a good portion of her room and storage within it! Canvases, many kinds of paint, pencils, pens, stickers, and more! She has drawers upon drawers full of them. She typically goes for nicer brands, she’d rather shell out more money for higher quality supplies than have to buy more supplies bc cheaper ones run out faster! A good chunk of her funds go into art supplies. She also has a very large tower of storage drawers full of fabric!

Sewing ; Kiwa is a seamstress who runs her own small business. On top of her various other forms of art, sewing is one that’s especially important to her. Her adoptive father was a fashion designer as well (though he is now retired) and taught her a lot of what she knows about it! She did a lot of online classes about it as well— one of the few school-like things she’s ever been able to focus on. This blossomed into her running a small business making custom lingerie focusing on plus sizes.

Small Business ; Kiwa’s business started while she was in the human world, it’s one of the big ways she paid rent and bought her art supplies and fabric! Her business did continue into her moving to the Devildom, and she’s been having a lot of fun making lingerie for demons now as well! She has also started shifting into making regular clothing clothing items as well since coming to the Devildom. May as well expand her abilities as long as she’s somewhere new!

Angelic ; Kiwa is a human. Her mother, however, was not. For many, many years her mother was angel in the celestial realm. However, her mother eventually fell in love with a human man and gave up her blessing to become a human and live with him. Eventually Kiwa was born from their marriage, and she is completely a human.. but some angels can possibly sense she has a bit of angelic descent in her. Kiwa’s mother unfortunately passed away due to a human disease when she was a pre-teen, a disease that for a long, long, long time wouldn’t have impacted her at all.

School ; School…. isn’t really Kiwa’s thing. She’s not super good with it, nor has she ever been. Even throughout her time in the human world. It’s actually why she dropped out of college to just pursue her small business and the like. Even now enrolled in R.A.D., she’s not doing too well in majority of her classes. She’s a little frustrated about it, and it makes her upset more often than she’d like to admit, but she’s trying… kind of.

Side Business ; Kiwa started doing cam girl-type work around the time she turned 20. Alongside her lingerie business, it brought in a good amount of money! She paid rent, bought her supplies, and lived pretty nicely. She also gave a bit to her parents to assist her brother’s college fund! She really enjoys the work she does, she finds it a very nice way to express herself and her sexuality a little more, but she’s also not super attached to it. She would drop the more explicit work once in a relationship if her partner wanted her to! She would love to still do suggestive photoshoots with her own lingerie on occasion if her partner was comfortable though.

Side business 2 ; despite Kiwa being a cam girl, and doing very explicit stuff for strangers on the internet, she’s never dated or really had any romantic or sexual partners in person. She’s been far too busy, but it’s not for lack of interest!!! She hasn’t even had her first kiss in most situations solely because she’s just… busy. She has always been busy!

Brother ; Kiwa’s younger brother, Shion, has always been someone she’s very close to and who is very important to her. She always values Shion’s opinions and always enjoys being around him! This is possibly because on top of being his older sister, she did spend a good chunk of her teenage years basically half parenting him because of how busy their dads got. Their fashion design business picked up at a super unfortunate time, and they tried to be their for the kids as much as physically possible, but Kiwa assured them she didn’t mind helping out taking care of Shion. She did a decent job basically parenting him!!

Parents ; Kiwa’s birth parents unfortunately passed away when she was still fairly young, pre-teens, but she was adopted by two family friends after that. Her dads are two of the kindest, most loving, sweet people ever. One of them used to be a fashion designer, while the other was basically his secretary and assistant. They worked so well together and Kiwa always looked up to them! They are now retired and teach a pottery class in her hometown. Their hometown is small and in the country side, not very big, but warm and welcoming. One of her dads became mute from an accident a few years before her time in the Devildom, and as such, Kiwa, both of her dads, and her brother all learned and know JSL to communicate.

Mornings ; Kiwa isn’t much of a morning person. She can’t really wake herself up too easily— when she first wakes up is one of the main times you can ever really make her mad or see her grouchy! She’s pretty huffy in the morning when she first wakes up unless it’s on her own terms. She falls back asleep pretty easily too! If you try to wake her up, and you don’t see her put her feet on the floor, she’s probably gonna fall back asleep. She’s a little better about mornings if she has a partner who she shares a bed with— waking up cuddling someone she loves negates any possible bad mood.

Pets ; Kiwa has had quite a few pets throughout her life— animals are something she is ALWAYS going to adore. She’s always cared so much for animals. Currently, though, she has a few pet ferrets. There are five total, and they are absolute little trouble makers. Their names are Cupcake, Macaron, Donut, Bonbon, and Pudding! Their enclosure takes up about an entire wall of her room, and she takes wonderful care of them!! They are her babies!! HER BABIES!! They have plenty of toys and places to hang out!! Sometimes… they run around the House of Lamentation.. chaotic babies.

Magic ; Kiwa has an odd and distinct lack of magical power. She doesn’t have much of an interest in pacts, but she doesn’t have much innate magic either. She struggles to learn it and doesn’t do well in classes that teach and involve magic. She doesn’t really seem to mind it too much, mainly because she knows there’s other things she’s good with! Maybe one day she’ll be more interested in pacts with the demon brothers, but as for now, she’s a little uneasy about the idea.

Love Languages ; Kiwa’s main two love languages are physical touch and quality time. She is a cuddly, touchy, lovey thing and being able to touch and be close to her partners (and friends!!) is so important to her. She respects those who are nervous about it, and she does her best to be considerate about it!! Her brother isn’t much of a cuddly person either, so she’d adapted to try her best to ask less affectionate people before just tackling them into a hug. She forgets sometimes but she’s doing her best!! Quality time is also very important to Kiwa, she’s the type who’s very content just being in the same room with someone she cares about even if they’re doing completely different things. It’s bonding time that she really treasures.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

bear with me here. lately, well, for the past 6 months we’ve been trying to buy a house. rent in my area is terrible and moving out of my area isn’t an option, so in theory it’s literally cheaper to buy a house. plus my bf and i have good (for our area) jobs. however we wanted to only put down 15%, so we need this thing called mortgage insurance. which also goes through a credit check, like the mortgage would. we’re on the mortgage together. somehow i was approved for the mortgage but denied for the insurance, because them checking my credit lowered my score to one fucking point below what’s needed. i don’t have a bad score, or a terrible debt to income ratio, my score is literally only “fair” because i bought a car 3 years ago and that vs my student loans that i’ve had for ages lowered my credit age, and therefore my score. bc. i don’t fucking know. capitalism™️. so we have to put down 20% of a down payment which we didn’t budget for because we were fine if it weren’t for, y’know fucking credit bureaus. it’s an extra 10k we don’t have because we didn’t expect to need.

so anyway i’m taking it hard. real hard. because along with my house savings i obviously also have a doll savings (it’s much lower though) for, you know, my expensive hobby that i finally started to being able to like actually buy for around 4 years ago. and i feel guilty because it’s like, if it wasn’t for my score and if i wasn’t indulging on things that make me happy, i’d be able to save more for “””adult things””” like buying a house. i almost in a panic started calculating and figuring out how i could sell my collection and all my doll stuff because i’m sure if i sold literally everything i have related to the hobby i would be able to cover the extra 10k. i was like packing shit up and taking pics in a fugue state before my bf stopped me and was like it’s not your fault?? but anxiety and growing up poor af until this job i got after college says otherwise. as a kid and even in college i did not buy anything that wasn’t necessary or if i did it was a long time saving for like a 60$ video game, so having this much fucking money (comparatively) is so wild to me and i was so excited to finally collect and sew and create for these beautiful dolls i’ve always admire. my collection is mostly the “”cheaper dolls”” with some expensiver dolls (resinsoul is great though i legitimately love them for more than $ reasons),

i buy a lot of second hand because i love restoring things, i don’t even buy the big fancy full sets (i shell ocs mainly), and tend to use layaways to assuage my anxiety about paying sums of money over 3 digits. somewhere inside me my brain says “you brought this on yourself, you knew this was a waste of money”. it’s not i know logically, especially if all my other needs and debts are taken care of, but like. h

tl;dr so anyway this is a fucking weird ass confession. i feel sick for even indulging in this hobby and spending money on things i like instead of only paying my bills and food and taking care of my cats bc i could have used that money to add to my house savings to offset my apparently shitty credit score. i’m contemplating a second job and selling every doll thing i have because i don’t feel like i’m pulling my weight even though i am according to my bf. we’re not going to be homeless, we’ll just sign another year where we are, but it’s crushing to know that i clawed my way to stable income and doing something that makes me happy and i still can’t even be good enough for a house that’s only about 130k . that’s so so fucking cheap in this state it’s insane. i hate everything and feel so fucking guilty.

~Anonymous

[snackhobi]

pairing: yoongi x reader // word count: 15.8k // genre: smut

summary: your idea of a good night certainly doesn't involve being stood up by yet another blind date and finding yourself alone in a fancy bar; fortunately for you, there's an attractive man playing the piano to keep you busy, instead.

warnings: sexually explicit content (NSFW), cursing, minor consumption of alcohol, oral (m and f receiving), protected sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, pet names, slight exhibitionism, slight praise kink, light dom/sub undertones if you squint ig (reader is kind of subby)

– –

Throughout the years of your life, you've learned a few things. Some of them are pretty obvious (buying suspiciously cheap sushi from a petrol station is like playing Russian Roulette with food poisoning and diarrhoea), some of them are less so (just because something is 'on sale' doesn't actually mean that it's cheaper if they'd increased the overall price beforehand), but one thing that you're only just starting to learn is that— for all that Jimin says otherwise— blind dates will always stand you up.

jiminnie is he there yet??

you to my entire lack of surprise, no. i'm starting to wonder if this 'hoseok-hyung' of yours even exists tbh i should have been suspicious from the second you called him a 'friend' bc that implies that you HAVE friends

jiminnie ok RUDE. we're friends??

you suddenly i can't read

The two of you had been outrageously drunk after a night out on the town, once, and Jungkook had come to collect his tipsy boyfriend, and you'd seen the fond way he'd watched Jimin despite his messy behaviour— how he'd given Jimin a piggyback even though it must have been hard with the way Jimin had been squirming and laughing and kicking his legs back and forth— and your heart had squeezed tight in your chest. (You'd been so drunk.)

It had honestly been a slip of the tongue when you'd revealed to Jimin that you were kind of maybe feeling somewhat lonely, a little bit, potentially. You'd had one night stands and short flings but it's been a long time since you've been in an actual relationship, a long time since you've really clicked with someone. Maybe part of you had been missing it, that connection with another person. Normally you're fine with being single, but Jungkook and Jimin are so in love that it spills out from them and you guess in the moment you'd wanted to feel that, too.

You blame the alcohol. You also blame your own loose lips. And Jimin, you blame him too, for persuading you to go clubbing in the first place. You don't even remember what you'd said, waking up with a headache the weight and size of a tectonic plate, groaning at the pain of the morning light stabbing into your eyes, but with no recollection of your admittance that maybe you were tired of being single. Your best friend, however— despite having drunk more than you— could recall the previous night with crystalline clarity, much to your horror and embarrassment. And, because Jimin is Jimin, he'd latched onto what you'd said with the tenacity of a dog with a bone.

Fast forward to where you're sitting now, on yet another arranged date that he's planned for you— and once again, you've been stood up.

you i'm starting to wonder if any of the people you've tried to set me up with are even real

jiminnie omg they ARE you had a nice time with lisa??

Okay, so you hadn't been stood up for every date. Lisa had been the only person who'd shown up, and she was cute and friendly and you got on like a house on fire, but you'd very quickly found out that she was actually head over heels for her best friend Jennie. You being you, your first date had rapidly turned into you giving your new friend a pep-talk and hyping her up— and suffice to say you've been having weekly girl's brunches with Lisa and her now-girlfriend Jennie ever since. So, yes, technically you haven't been stood up every time, but still.

you yes, my ideal first date involves telling the other person that their best friend is definitely in love with them too :))

jiminnie I'VE ALREADY SAID THAT I'M SORRY :(

you LMAO it's fine, it's always nice to make friends but seriously minnie, like,, if your friends are going to stand me up, could you at least have had the decency to organise the date somewhere less fancy? i spent ages getting ready and noah fence it kind of feels like i just wasted a bunch of my time,,

Jimin doesn't fuck around. From the outside the bar, Dionysus, exudes a quiet aura of exclusivity. Inside, however, it has a surprisingly understated atmosphere despite its namesake being the Grecian god of Getting Turnt, the sleek interior paired with soft lighting and stylish fixtures, elegant. 

Either way, it's the kind of place that warrants you actually pulling out the stops with your outfit and makeup; you rarely have a reason to doll yourself up like this and it makes a nice change of pace, but it seems like you shouldn't have bothered. What's the point in putting on a cute dress and nice heels, or doing your hair and opening your expensive Too Faced eyeshadow palette for the first time, if you're just going to be sitting alone at a bar all night? At least you don't stick out, which is good, you guess.

You are the only person who's alone, though. It's midweek and everyone else is seated around one of the tables, couples and groups that are engaged in quiet discussion or watching the show— there's a small stage where there's a quartet performing live music— but you're perched on one of the barstools, tapping away at your phone, alone. If anyone were to pay any attention it would be obvious that you've been stood up, but they're all too busy having an enjoyable evening to spare a glance at the girl sitting by herself at the bar.

The only person who's paying attention to you is the bartender. He's clearly good at his job, keeping an eye on you and making you feel welcome without seeming like he's hovering; he doesn't act like you're being an inconvenience, but you give him a hefty tip each time you order a new drink anyway. Hoseok might not be turning up tonight but if you've gone to the effort of dressing this nicely and getting a taxi here then goddamn you're going to make the most of it.

It takes forty two minutes and three virgin cocktails before the handsome bartender speaks to you, saying something beyond the customary back and forth you've had so far as he hands you your next mocktail. 

"Are your friends usually this late?"

You let out a little huff of laughter. "Something like that." Normally you'd be more hesitant to speak to a stranger like this, but the bartender's eyes are warm and his smile seems genuine and from what you can tell, he's just making that sure you're okay. "Seems like it'll just be me for tonight."

"You're welcome to stay and wait as long as you like," he says, and you can't help but quirk a grin at him.

"I bet you say that to all the paying customers."

He laughs and raises his hands in surrender. "You got me." And then: "If you want another drink, just give me a shout. I'm Seokjin, but everyone calls me Jin."

"As in, Jin and tonic?" You smile. "Sure. I'll be sure to remember that. I'm Y/n."

"Nice to meet you, Y/n." Jin gives you a grin before disappearing down the other side of the bar to make drinks for some other customers. Your own smile slowly fades, and then turns into a frown, eyes landing on the clock on the wall; Hoseok is forty five minutes late at this point. (You know he's not going to show.) It's been so long that the musicians on the stage have finished their set and are leaving, a different performer about to step on, and you sigh. You'll finish this last drink and then you'll go.

You use your straw to stir the mint leaves and ice cubes around, muddling the flavours in your glass. You haven't really been paying attention to the music before now; you couldn't name the songs that have been performed so far, but they're common enough that you'd recognised the sound of them, the sort of music that most people could hum along to but probably wouldn't know the origin of. Easy listening. Pleasant, but nothing new. It's clearly more about setting a nice backdrop to the bar rather than music for music's sake. A background noise, rather than acting as the focal point of the bar.

You assume this is going to be the case for the next musician, and so you barely pay any mind as the he takes to the stage alone; you're looking down at your glass as he sits at the piano and puts his feet on the pedals and places his hands on the keys, but then, he starts to play.

Your eyes snap up. A chord hangs in the air, extended, haunting; a crescendo into a light melody; the chords dip, waters dark and deep while he weaves the higher notes with infinite softness, ebbing notes that fade into each other, his fingers dancing across the keys with grace and ease. You notice with a throb in your chest that he has no sheet music. He's pulling this music from inside him, his mind, entirely from his own memory.

His eyes are cast down as he watches his hands, but you can see how they slip shut whenever he tilts his head back, fringe hanging over them. His hair is bleached blond but he clearly hasn't been maintaining the look, with dark roots starting to show through. His posture is horrible, his spine a little curved as he slouches forward, and he's not dressed as sharply as the other musicians had been— there's no tie around his neck and he has a multitude of earrings in, rings on his fingers, changing his outfit into something a little messy and different and entirely unique.

He's fucking breathtaking.

Without realising, you've swivelled away from the bar to watch him. Your drink is still clutched in your hand but you pay it no mind, condensation gathering on the cold glass and dripping down your fingers the longer you sit there, ice cubes melting as he finishes his first song and moves onto the next. Same as the first, you don't recognise it, the melody echoing deep in your chest, speaking of some feeling that you can't put a name to, each sliding arpeggio and chord reaching inside you and hanging there, little glowing droplets that shine out like moonlight.

Each of his pieces are entirely different and yet they all feel like him, somehow. Strong and soft and lovely and aching. The water from your glass has pitter-pattered onto your lap, darkening the fabric of your dress in some nameless constellation, but you don't notice. Your world has narrowed down to: the sound of his music, the motions of his hands, the way he bends into the notes, him. 

Your eyes trace his profile, the cat-like eyes, the round of his nose, the pout of his lips, falling into the way he lifts his chin and tilts his head; thoughtless, gorgeous.

You don't realise that it's over until it's over. The final notes hang in the air, crystallising, and then they fade. He finishes with little fanfare, tilting a polite nod at the audience that claps for him, and then he slips off the stage and is gone just as quickly as he had come. You blink, coming back to yourself; you feel like you're rising out of deep water, motions slow and heavy, and you don't know how long you've been sitting there, entirely entranced. You'd been too distracted to clap. You'd just sat and watched in silence as he'd turned to leave, barely sparing the room a glance.

"Good, isn't he?"

Normally you would have startled at Jin's sudden appearance. Instead you just blink again, still trying to shake off the daze you've found yourself in. "Yeah." Your voice is hoarse. You clear your throat and suck in a breath and put your drink down, dripping wetness that leaves a ring on the smooth wood of the bar, and try to speak normally this time, willing your voice to be level. "Yes. He's very good."

"Yoongi is here at the same time every week," Jin supplies, tone conversational, like he's just having a regular chat. Yoongi. His name is Yoongi. You wonder if Jin can hear how your heart is pounding, the galloping hooves of a wild horse that tumble in your chest. You try to keep your expression stoic as you look at him, scared that he'll be able to read what's written across your face— but he's smiling at you in the same way as before. Just a barkeeper who's trying to get a return customer. (Although, you'd swear there was a glint in his eye for the briefest moment, but then it's gone.) "He changes the set each time, if you're interested in coming back to hear something new."

Your mouth feels dry and you swallow, trying to wet your lips. Dionysus is too fancy of a place to ask customers for tips for the musicians, but— "Can I buy him a drink?"

Jin cocks his head at you. "A drink? For Yoongi?"

"Yes," you say. You feel a little shy when you spot his expression, biting your lip. "I just really enjoyed the music, and I'd like to tip him somehow? Is that a normal thing that people do?"

Jin pauses, and then smiles. This smile is a little wider than the ones he's given you before, different, but he seems pleased. "Who cares about what's normal? I'll get a drink to him. What would you like?"

"Um, whatever he prefers," you say. You figure that Jin would have a better idea about what that is than you, which is proven true by his almost instantaneous reply.

"He likes red wine, or whisky, neat. I think tonight is a whisky kind of night." He's already going through the motions of putting the drink together, and you slide him money as he begins to pour. You know nothing about Yoongi but you can't help but feel like the drink suits him— simple, classic, masculine. "Do you want me to pass on a message for you?"

"Um, you can just say that it's from someone who enjoyed the music, I guess?" You giggle a little, feeling awkward and off balance. Jin is looking at you like he's expecting you to say something else, but you just want to express your enjoyment of Yoongi's music and nothing more. You don't— you don't want to be weird, you just like the sound of his piano playing.

Jin disappears into the back with the glass of whisky, and you finish the watery remnants of your drink before you leave, ice cubes completely melted in the— wow— forty minutes that Yoongi had been playing. It hadn't felt that long at all.

It's not until you're stepping through your front door that you realise you haven't looked at your phone since before the beginning of Yoongi's set. Jimin's messages have been changing from apologetic to concerned to downright frantic.

jiminnie Y/N BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP

you how many times should i blink if i don't need help?

jiminnie omg you're ALIVE where were you?? i was starting to get worried

you sorry i got distracted! but i'm fine, i'm at home hoseok never showed

jiminnie yeah i know :(( he messaged me saying he had an emergency and couldn't make it tonight but he's free this weekend??

you … remember when i said that this was the last blind date i was going to go on?

jiminnie it doesn't count as a date if hyung never turned up!!!

you that isn't true and you know it omg minnie… i appreciate what you're trying to do but pls bb. let it rest

jiminnie i just want you to be happy :((

you i don't have to be in a relationship to be happy

jiminnie you said you were lonely!

you omg i was DRUNK let it GO besides being stood up by multiple blind dates isn't going to help me feel less lonely lmao i get that you're happy in your relationship with kookie and you want to spread that happiness but you don't have to!! i'm fine!! yeah i get lonely sometimes but what single person doesn't?? i'm happy being by myself hhhhh

jiminnie fine :(( but if you change your mind, hobi-hyung would still love to meet you!

As you kick off your heels, humming a bar of Yoongi's music to yourself, you think that Hoseok probably shouldn't bother holding his breath.

(That night, when you sleep, you dream of dark eyes and the press of a sinfully perfect cupid's bow against your own lips, a pair of large hands drawing noises from you like a glissando, rings cool against your heated skin.)

–

Wednesday nights become a ritual of sorts. You get dressed, do your hair, match your makeup to your outfit and shoes, coordinating your look into something that doesn't look out of place in Dionysus before you hop into a taxi and make your way to the bar.

You're a firm regular by now. Your seat has become just that, your seat, the same one you'd been sitting in the first time you'd been there; it's towards the dimmer lights at the back and so you're sitting further away from the stage than you might like, but at least you can see the whole room from here. You turn up twenty minutes before Yoongi's set and Jin always greets you warmly when he sees you: you've quickly come to enjoy your chats. Jin is always unashamedly himself and the two of you joke and laugh as he works, but he always knows to leave you alone as soon as Yoongi steps onto the stage. 

For the next forty minutes the rest of the world fades away as you drink Yoongi and his music in, listen to the lilting notes he coaxes out of the piano, watch how his fingers rest on each key before he slides into his next piece, reverent.

You never ever explicitly mention Yoongi in your conversations with Jin, though. The bartender seems to bring the musician up anyway; he does it smoothly, in a way that's utterly casual, and he seems to know a surprising amount about someone who is, by all accounts, a very private person. (You're not complaining about the fact that you now know that Yoongi wears Kumamon slippers because his feet get cold easily— "he's cold blooded, like a lizard," apparently— but you do wonder how Jin knows that.)

The Yoongi that Jin describes is just as beautiful as the man you see on stage, but less mysterious, less distant— and yet he still intimidates you. 

Jin might be his friend but to you Yoongi is unapproachable. Untouchable. To him you're just a nameless face in the audience, nothing more. His eyes will slide across the room before he starts his performance, but he never seems to notice you; it's no surprise, sitting where you do, in an area of relative darkness in comparison to the rest of the bar, and once he sits down he only looks at the piano under his hands. He has no eyes for anything else. You're far enough away and his lashes are cast so low that even when his eyes are open it's hard for you to see where he's looking, and the shadow of his fringe hides how his pupils scan his hands as he plays, anyway.

Every week, when the set draws to a close, Jin is already pouring Yoongi's whisky or wine and you slide him the exact amount of change. Every week, Jin asks if you want to pass on a message, and every week, you say the same thing: that it's from someone who enjoyed the music. And that's that. Jin will disappear to give Yoongi his drink and you'll finish your own drink in quiet solitude before you slide off your barstool to go home.

(The only thing that's changed over the weeks is that the music Yoongi plays seems to be a little lighter and— dare you say— happier? He still looks down at the piano with the same intensity, still lays his hands on the keys with the same delicate pressing weight before he begins to play— but with some songs he seems to be teasing the music out, flirting with each note, eyelashes fluttering as he lifts his chin and moves his hands.

You're not a musician by any means, so you don't know how to describe it with any sort of accuracy or terminology, but to you it's like the deep waters of Yoongi's music have been cut through with light, beams of sun rippling through the dark blue. You don't know what's caused this change, the slow uplift in his mood throughout the weeks, but you hope he manages to keep hold of it, whatever it is.)

Between work and studying and volunteering and making time to see friends, you don't often have time entirely to yourself, and so Wednesday nights are a rare moment of peace during your otherwise busy week. That's why when Jimin says that he's had to rearrange your weekly film night to Wednesday— because he and Jungkook are going down to Busan to see each other's families this weekend— you decline. 

Jimin is rendered speechless and demands to know why.

"I'm busy," is your answer. Jimin doesn't buy it.

"You're never too busy for movie night," he says. "Wednesday is the only night we're all free."

"Well, I'm not free, Minnie. Sorry," you say. His head is in your lap, your fingers gently stroking his hair, and you can easily see the way his face contorts with disbelief as he stares up at you.

"Do you hear that, babe? Y/n is too busy for our weekly tradition." Jimin sounds scandalised.

Jimin is stretched out between the two of you— while his head is in your lap, his feet are in Jungkook's, the younger man idly massaging his boyfriend's ankles and feet. "Yes, babe, I heard," Jungkook says, indulgent.

"What's more important than movie night?" Jimin lifts one of his legs and Jungkook turns his attention to that one, digging his fingers into the arch of Jimin's foot. Jimin sighs in relief, but then turns the full force of his stare back at you. "We were going to watch Spirited Away. You love Spirited Away."

"I'm just busy," you say, and that had been your mistake. You should have had some sort of credible reason but you hadn't been prepared, and while he hadn't made it obvious at the time, Jimin had latched onto your vague excuse, sniffing out weakness like a shark with blood in the water. If you'd been paying attention you'd have noticed, but you hadn't paid attention and so you hadn't noticed. (Whoops.)

And so, Wednesday night that week is the same as always; Yoongi plays his music, you fall a little bit more in love, and pass your compliments to him with Jin as the mouthpiece. You go home, wash your makeup off, and arch into the touch of your own hand while imagining it's someone else's fingers sliding across your skin. Routine. Normal. Uninterrupted. Peaceful.

The next week, however, it all goes to shit.

Okay. Maybe that's a little dramatic. It's not as bad as all that. The night starts as normal: you're on your stool, and you have your drink, and you have ten minutes until Yoongi is due to play, shifting to get comfortable, crossing your legs.

But then: 

"Oh my God, you're wearing your come fuck me heels," comes Jimin's voice from behind you, and your blood turns to ice.

You turn on the barstool so fast you almost fall off it. You come face to face with Jimin who has an expression of what can only be described as sheer delight on his face. He's even dressed appropriately for the bar, a silk shirt tucked into his Very Tight jeans and a subtle smoky eye to top it off; Jungkook looks nice, too, but you have no doubt that he's only here under sufferance, if the infinitely apologetic look on his face is anything to go by.

"Jimin?" Your voice comes out as a hiss. If you were a cat your back would be up and your hackles would be raised and all your fur would be on end, your entire body going into fight mode. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see for myself what was more important than movie night," Jimin says simply, like it's obvious. "So here we are."

"Sorry, Y/n," Jungkook apologises from over his boyfriend's shoulder. Jimin ignores him.

You can feel how your face is starting to flush, your skin crawling with embarrassment. You change your outfit every week and your friends have managed to turn up on the one week where you've cycled into what could probably be considered your most promiscuous one, the hem of your dress high and the cut of it low, along with shoes that Jimin had rightfully named as your Come Fuck Me heels. It wasn't because you were trying to seduce anyone but you only have so many items in your wardrobe that are appropriate for Dionysus. 

"How did you find me?"

"I have my ways," Jimin says mysteriously.

"He stalked your Bitmoji on Snapchat. Ow." Jungkook pouts as Jimin slaps his arm. "Sorry, again. I said we should leave you alone but Jimin said we should check in case you'd been kidnapped because you never willingly go into bars."

You're interrupted by Jin, who'd been busy serving someone when your idiot friends had turned up; he leans across the bar and touches your shoulder and fixes Jimin and Jungkook with the most intimidating look you've ever seen on his face. You know Jin as a light-hearted pun master, harmless and goofy and approachable, a great friend— but right now he looks like some sort of beautiful guardian angel, broad shouldered and narrow eyed and honestly, pretty menacing. 

"Are you alright?" He keeps his eyes on the other two men as he speaks. "Are these guys bothering you?"

Jimin, rather than looking cowed, looks like he's reached a stage of absolute euphoria, eyes darting between Jin's hand on your shoulder to your face. Jungkook's face, meanwhile, is doing that thing it does whenever someone issues him some kind of challenge, his sweetness abruptly being swallowed by his competitive side and his stubborn refusal to lose anything. You're the only person who has the power to save this situation before it goes absolutely tits up, and you swallow down a resigned sigh.

"I'm fine, thank you, Jin," you say, looking at him with a smile as you pat the hand on your shoulder. "Unfortunately these guys are my friends, much to my infinite suffering. Well, Jungkook's alright. Jimin is the one who's the pain."

"Hey," Jimin whines. Jungkook looks quietly pleased, but pretends to scowl when Jimin looks at him, offended on his boyfriend's behalf.

Jin still seems unhappy but pulls his hand back. "Alright," he says, but then he pitches his voice low so that only you can hear: "If you need any help, just ask me for a rum and soda, okay?"

You always order mocktails whenever you're here, wanting to stay completely sober so that you can enjoy Yoongi's playing with all the attention it deserves. You've never asked for anything alcoholic, least of all a rum and soda. Although you really are okay, you can't help but be warmed by Jin's concern for you and how he's offering you this careful, considerate lifeline in case you need it. "I will do. Thanks, Jinnie."

He smiles at you and then gives Jungkook and Jimin one final frown before going to deal with a gaggle of customers who've gathered at the other end of the bar. While Jungkook remains standing, taking in the interior of the bar with wide eyes, Jimin slides onto the stool next to yours.

"He's fucking hot," Jimin says with no preamble, eyeing Jin without shame as the bartender starts to pour and mix different drinks. Jungkook makes a disgruntled noise but settles when Jimin pats him fondly on the butt. "I'm not surprised you're wearing those heels. I would too if I were you."

"Oh my God, Jimin." You hide your face in your hands. "Jin is just a friend, please don't make this weird."

"Come on, Y/n, it's okay," Jimin says reassuringly as he pats your shoulder, replacing Jin's touch with his own. "The blind dates might not have worked out, but you've met someone nice so that's good! I mean, you did meet him because I organised the date here in the first place, but I'll let that slide. Also I can't believe you missed movie night because of a boy and you didn't tell me, but I'll let that slide too because I love you."

Park Jimin is your best friend. Park Jimin meddles in your life despite your protestations and isn't beyond being passive aggressive to get his way, but Park Jimin is also one of the nicest people you know and everything he does is because he loves you and will do whatever he thinks is necessary to reach his end goal of making you happy. He's magnanimous and kind and caring, and he also has absolutely the wrong idea right now, clearly under the impression that you're attracted to Seokjin and have been flirting with him for however many weeks it's been since you were meant to meet Hoseok here.

"No, seriously, Jimin, it's not Jin." You look at Jimin through the gaps in your fingers. "He's cute, yeah, but I don't come here because of him."

Your friend looks genuinely baffled, hand stilling on your shoulder. "Then why are you here?"

And, with perfect timing— as if your life is some badly written film or romantic drama— the clock ticks over to 8pm and Yoongi steps onto the stage. His hair is dark, blond replaced with black a few weeks ago, though it's still long enough that it hangs in his eyes; he looks a little ragged around the edges, a little messy, a little tired, and altogether beautiful. You want to touch the coolness of your fingertips to the dark circles under his eyes, want to press kisses across each of his bony knuckles, want to let your tongue settle in the hollow of his neck that shows each time he leans back and tilts his head up just so.

You hadn't even meant to but you'd turned away from Jimin the second you'd heard piano notes begin to play, drawn in by the sound like a moth to a flame. Jimin's hand falls off your shoulder and you hear him breathe out a quiet oh of realisation. You tear your eyes away from the sight of Yoongi at the piano and turn on your stool to face the bar again, gripping your glass with both hands, shoulders hunched.

"I like to watch him play," you say, and your voice is near a whisper, so as not to detract from the music.

"It's beautiful," Jungkook says, speaking before Jimin can say anything. His voice is quiet, too, not wanting to break over the sound of the piano. 

And so you hear with absolute clarity as Yoongi shifts mid-song into something different and it startles you. Yoongi always varies his music, always has something new, but you've been here often enough that you had recognised the opening song— it was one of your favourites— and you know that he's cut himself off before finishing, soft melody jumping into the opening bars of something different, sharper, a little angry, maybe sorrowful. Something that pulls at you and demands your attention.

Of course you give it to him. You swing your head away from your drink to watch him once more, watch how his motions have changed, the way he surges forward and presses his weight into his arms and down into his hands, his fingertips, the keys. You turn your entire body at this point, settling in your usual position for when you watch Yoongi; you see how his head tilts and he shifts from a minor into a major key, the same notes and chords transformed from something pensive into something joyful as he leans away from the heavier hands he'd been forcing the keys down with.

"How long does this go on for?" Jimin asks.

"About thirty or forty minutes," you answer. Though you turn your head back over your shoulder so that Jimin can hear you, you keep your eyes fixed on Yoongi. It's probably entirely coincidental, the sudden change in his music coinciding with when you turned away from him and when you looked back. He's not playing for you, he's playing for the whole bar, and besides, he's been looking down at the piano the whole time. He hasn't been looking at you.

And yet. The idea that Yoongi has noticed you and wants you to watch him has something hot settling low in your belly.

Jimin leans forward so that his chin is on your shoulder, talking directly into your ear as his hands wrap around your waist from behind. "This is the guy?"

Yoongi finishes the song and you watch in captivation as he swallows and runs a hand through his hair before he starts the next one. He's never done that before. Fuck. "Yes. Yoongi's the guy."

"Do you wait until he's finished so you can speak with him?" Jimin asks, ever curious.

You pause. "No," you admit. "No, I've never actually spoken to him."

Jimin doesn't ask why you've been coming back to see a guy you don't know and haven't talked to. He just hums gently. Jimin is pushy but he's also understanding and empathetic and knows what to say, when to press forward and when to hold back. It's one of the reasons you love him so much.

Jimin lapses into silence as Yoongi starts the next piece. It's one you haven't heard before and it's a little fiercer than most of Yoongi's recent songs. Rather than each note sliding into the next, he hammers them out separately, each note a statement that builds into something larger, a provocation. A storm gathering above Yoongi's waters, threatening to pull you in, pull you under.

Behind you, you hear Jungkook and Jimin briefly murmuring to each other, then Jimin's hands slide from off your waist and you hear the sound of him shifting so that Jungkook can sit down, Jimin using his boyfriend's lap as a chair instead. You have to wonder if the barstools can actually support that kind of weight, but Jin doesn't come over to tell them off, so you figure it must be okay.

On stage, Yoongi's hands pause, an uncharacteristic caesura that breaks the flow of the notes he'd been stringing together before he resumes playing as if this hiccup had never occurred. To anyone else, it would sound like that break was meant to be there, but you know better. You know Yoongi had faltered.

No way.

No way?

He's paying attention to you.

(Oh, shit.)

No way.

You're suddenly so overwhelmed that you actually feel nauseous. You've been consumed with thoughts of Yoongi for weeks, had images of him playing you just as easily as he does that piano, thoughts of him laying you out bare beneath him, but the idea that Yoongi actually knows who you are? Is aware of you on some level? Wants your eyes on him?

Fuck. 

It's too much. 

You're already off kilter from Jimin and Jungkook's arrival— as harmless as their appearance was meant to be— and this is the cherry on top. You don't know if you can keep your composure right now and you need to get away from Yoongi before you end up walking onto the stage and pulling him off that stupid piano stool to show him exactly how much you enjoy his music.

"Jimin? Jungkook? How about you say we go to a club and get absolutely shitfaced?"

You haven't looked away from Yoongi in the time that you've said this, but you can just feel the confusion emanating from the men behind you.

"But you—"

"I thought—"

"We're already dressed up, aren't we? Besides, I still owe you for film night, so drinks are on me."

There's little argument from them after that. For the first time since you've been coming here you leave before Yoongi's set is done, slipping out of the bar without noticing Jin's confused gaze on you. 

It's not until much later, once you've drunkenly fallen onto Jimin and Jungkook's couch, that the sober part of your brain whispers to you: you didn't buy Yoongi his drink.

(That night you dream of stormy skies and tattered sails and a capsizing ship. Once you wake, the memory of the dream quickly leaves you, and the last thing you remember is the sight of someone reaching towards you, pulling you out of the water, skin pale and head ringed with blond hair, a halo— and then you forget that too, slipping through your fingers like quicksand.)

–

Of course you go back to Dionysus the next week. You make Jimin promise that he won't turn up without warning again, and then you make Jungkook promise that he'll at least send you a heads-up message if Jimin changes his mind. Despite both these promises, after the debacle last week with your outfit, you've actually bought new clothes, so at least today you don't feel as scandalous. (You still look hot, though.)

You're grateful when Jin doesn't press you for details or ask why you left early last week. He just greets you like he normally does and predicts your order with his usual aptitude, and as you stir your drink with your straw, you have to wonder at what happened. You're probably overreacting, overthinking things, grasping at nothing; there is not a chance in hell that Min Yoongi, reclusive piano savant, has noticed you. No way. Nuh-uh.

He's probably only aware of your existence because of the repeated drinks you've had Jin foist on him. If anything he's probably annoyed at you after not tipping him with last week— he's probably come to expect them by now and you'd forced him to miss out. Maybe you'll get Jin to give him two drinks this week? Ooh, then again, maybe not. Is two shots of whisky a lot? People drink doubles, don't they. How strong is the wine he likes, anyway?

Yoongi's appearance on stage pulls you out of your thoughts. He makes his way up the steps, towards the piano, scans the room— and then for the first time since you've been coming here to watch him, he stops.

He stops because he's looking at you.

It's only for the briefest moment, eyes resting on you for maybe five seconds, and then you breathlessly watch as his mouth twists into something that can only be described as a smirk, pleased at the sight of you.

Oh, God.

He looks away and sits at the piano like he normally does, but you would swear that his back is a little straighter— something in his posture that reads as cockiness, even. He launches into a song that starts light but then almost immediately dances into something flirtatious, seductive, and tonight whenever Yoongi glances at you, he makes sure that you know. He turns his head just so, looks at you through the curve of his lashes, each touch of those dark eyes against your own sending little shivers through you, punching the breath out of your lungs.

You've always been entranced by Yoongi and tonight is no different. The minutes slide by as easy as water, liquid, music gliding over you like the rising tide, kissing your skin like the ebb and flow of the waves. It feels like he's barely started when his set is over and he's finished, standing up with as little ostentation as always before he vanishes off the stage.

You already have the money counted out before Jin has made his way over. You slide it towards him as he pours the whisky, but rather than asking if you have a message to pass to Yoongi, a look of consternation passes over his face.

"The price has gone up," Jin says, and you blink.

"Oh, that's no problem. How much is it now?" You're reaching for your purse to get more money out when Jin puts the whisky on the bar in front of you.

"No, don't worry, I'll just go out back and get the right change for you," he says. He says it with such confidence that it takes you a beat too long to realise that what he's just said makes no sense— why is he getting you change if you haven't even given him enough money? Isn’t there change in the till?— but by this point he's already gone, the staff door swinging shut behind him. 

You tilt your head, beyond confused.

Someone chuckles from behind you, the sound quiet and low. "Ah, cute."

You twist in your seat to see who's talking and then freeze. Yoongi is standing right there, looking at you with his dark, dark eyes; it's the first time you've been subjected to the full intensity of his gaze, from this close, and your pulse picks up. He looks a little softer without the lights of the small stage throwing him into sharp relief but his aura is just as intense; your eyes dart across each feature of his face as you drink him in— the mess of his fringe hanging into his sharp eyes, the faintest freckle on his nose, his surprisingly cute cheeks, his pink mouth.

The mouth that's curving into a sly little smile, now, your eyes flying back up to meet his own.

"I'm guessing this is for me?" He points at the whisky. He takes it before you can answer, and there's something unfairly erotic about how he drinks it: the way he holds the glass, swirling the whisky over the chilled rocks inside; the way his mouth falls open as the tumbler touches his lips; the way his head tilts back as he lets the liquor flow into his mouth, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows.

You shamelessly watch him the whole time. He lowers the glass from his lips, still a little parted as he takes a breath in, and then he's looking back at you. You have to bite back a noise that's risen up in your throat, unbidden. Does he know how much he affects you? 

You adjust your position on the barstool, thoughtlessly uncrossing and recrossing your legs as you regain your balance. Yoongi's eyes fly down to watch the motion and you're close enough to him that you see how his pupils dilate at the movement. A breath escapes your mouth, a little pant of air that you desperately mask as a cough as you try to calm the racing of your heart, the flood of arousal that's pulsing through you.

"I'm glad you like the whisky," you say, your voice steady despite how your legs feel like they're about to give out. (Thank god you're sitting down.) "I'm sorry to have deprived you of it last week."

Yoongi's shifted so that he's leaning against the bar. He's standing while you're still sitting and you have to tilt your head back to look at him. "You did seem like you were in an awful hurry," he says, a teasing lilt to his tone, and yet his voice is still so low, deeper than you'd imagined.

Despite the levity in his words there's something heavy in his gaze. "Oh?" You can't help but react to it, helpless and unable to resist. "You noticed me leaving?"

Yoongi's eyes sharpen. Hooked. "Of course," he says. "You're the only thing I pay attention to when I'm here. You have been from the first night you walked in."

Your breath catches in your throat. You hadn't expected Yoongi to say something so forthright, to be so direct, more used to coy flirtation from the other people you've met in the past; it's like you've been dipped in cold water, a shock to the system, bracing and invigorating and refreshing.

"Oh," you say, at a loss with how to respond. Yoongi seems pleased to have gotten this reaction out of you, the corners of his lips curving upwards in a self satisfied smile.

"Besides," he adds, "I find it flattering that not only do you come here every week to watch me, you always make sure to make your appreciation known, too." He lifts the glass up and takes another drink, but this time he keeps his eyes locked on yours as he does, gaze unwavering as he finishes his drink. The rocks tumble over themselves as he sets the glass down on the bar, lower lip wet with a drop of whisky that lingers; his tongue sweeps across it and leaves a sheen, catching the light, shining. You can't tear your eyes away from the sight. "It would have been hard to ignore that even if I'd wanted to."

A shiver trickles down your spine. You'd really only ever meant it as a compliment, a quiet way to express your admiration about his craft, and you have to ask— "How long have you been playing the piano?"

This question seems to throw Yoongi off kilter. You see the way his lashes flutter as he blinks with surprise. "For as long as I can remember," he says, and then a small smile appears on his lips. "When I was young I had a toy piano that I constantly used to hammer at, so when I grew up a little, my parents bought the real thing so that I could learn how to play."

He sounds nostalgic and your heart squeezes in your chest. "You're self-taught, right?" You ask, remembering something Jin had told you before. 

Yoongi looks briefly startled. "Yes, I am," he says, and then his eyes narrow. "Did Jin tell you that?"

"Um, yeah." You squirm a little on the barstool. "Sorry, should I not have said anything about it?"

"No, no, you're okay. It's just that Jin says a lot of things, and I'm just wondering what else he said to you." Yoongi's tone is weirdly pained.

The concern is obvious on his face, and you wonder if Jin is to Yoongi what Jimin is to you— well-meaning but maybe a little overwhelming in their approach. 

"All good things, I promise. I love dogs, too." You smile up at Yoongi, who seems a little taken aback, and the smile starts to drop off your face. "Um. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." For all that Yoongi was smirking earlier, he seems a little unsure now. You feel confused, waiting as Yoongi clearly turns some thoughts over in his head, and then he says: "What exactly has Jin told you?"

You smile. You recognise that tone, the nonchalance that hides a little worry— it's exactly how you sound whenever you find out that Jimin has been speaking to someone about you, even if it's always positively. "Oh, just bits and pieces," you say. Feeling bold, you pat the barstool next to you, tilting your head invitingly. "Why don't you tell me about yourself instead so we can see if Jin was lying to me?"

Yoongi looks genuinely startled, his eyes widening imperceptibly before the expression wipes off his face as if nothing had happened. "Why not," he says, as if in equal parts to himself and to you, before he takes a seat.

Here's what you learn about Yoongi: he's intense, yes, and soft spoken, but as you continue to talk, he begins to loosen up, bit by bit. When he laughs he smiles so wide that his eyes squeeze shut and you can see his gums and you're so fucking endeared at the sight. He's sharp and smart and witty and just so, so intriguing. 

You prop your elbow on the bar and rest your cheek in your hand as he talks, wanting to take everything in, and you rapidly realise that Min Yoongi is less of an enigma than you'd thought, but just as complex as you'd expected— and you want to unravel that complexity. If he'll let you.

You've been talking for so long that the bar has started to empty out, patrons trickling away, the two of you so engrossed with each other that you barely notice. You find out that Jin and Yoongi are actually roommates, best friends, and that Jin is as chaotic as you'd expect and is also very good at drawing Yoongi into his shenanigans; you throw your head back to laugh at one of his stories, and when you catch your breath you find Yoongi looking at you, watching you with an expression on his face that makes you pause. He's been watching you intently all night, listening quietly whenever you talk, but this expression, this is new. He swallows.

"Can I ask something?"

You blink. "Sure, go ahead."

"Why did you keep coming back?" Yoongi asks, and that's not a question you'd been expecting at all.

"Uh," you say eloquently. "Well. Honestly? I couldn't stay away, I guess. I'm not really a musician, and I don't know a lot about the piano, but there's something in your music and the way you play— every song makes me feel something different and new, or reminds me of something I haven't felt, places I haven't been to, but I feel like I know somehow. Like I'm nostalgic for something that I haven't experienced, that doesn't exist. It's almost like you're taking my hand and showing me around some hidden part of the world that only you can see— like you've made it into music because that's the only way you can communicate it. How could I not come back after that?" You pause. "Um. Does that make sense? I feel like it didn't. Sorry?"

Yoongi's been watching you as you've been talking, silent, and by the time you've finished his mouth has fallen open a little. He stares at you for a few moments longer, and then he says: "Holy shit." And then he says: "Oh my God." And then he says: "What the fuck."

"… I guess it didn't make sense, then?" Despite the ease of your earlier conversation you suddenly feel awkward, laughing a little as your legs uncross so that you can shuffle to the edge of your barstool. Ready to hop up and make a quick get away if you need to. Run away from the embarrassment. "Um."

"Y/n," Yoongi says, and you realise with a start that you haven't introduced yourself to him throughout your whole conversation— Jin must have told him your name— but then he keeps talking. "I thought you just— I don't know, that you just kept coming back because of me. Not the music. Then Jin kept talking about you and—" 

He makes a frustrated noise at the back of his throat and runs a hand through his hair; you stare at his bared forehead, and it says about how attracted you are to him that the sight of his forehead is enough to set your heart racing. "I thought that maybe if I let this happen just one time that it would be enough, but now I don't think it will."

"Yoongi." You're confused, unsure if you've correctly understood what he's just said. "Let what happen one time? What are you talking about?"

"Touching you," Yoongi says. "Fucking you." His voice is a rasp and the sound of it, the sound of his words, shoots straight through you and into your core. "I thought the drinks were— I don't know, an invitation. But they weren't, were they? You really meant it. You really like my music. And me."

Yoongi's voice is hoarse and you come to the realisation that he feels tense. Like he can accept that you want to have sex with him, but he's bowled over by the idea that you're attracted to the other parts, too, as few of those as you know. That you genuinely enjoy what he plays. That you think it's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard.

"Yoongi," you say, tone deceptively gentle. "I really, really like your music, and I think you're an incredibly talented musician, and I've been memorising everything Jin's been telling me about you because I think you're one of the most interesting people I've ever come across and I'd really like to get to know more about you. So I'm really glad to have had the opportunity to talk to you like this." You gesture between the two of you, sitting as you are, facing towards each other on your barstools. And then you brace yourself to take the leap, to throw yourself into uncharted waters. "However, I am also insanely attracted to you and I've spent the past I-don't-know-how-many weeks picturing you bending me over that piano and fucking me so hard that I can't walk straight."

Yoongi freezes in the middle of rubbing the back of his neck, a clearly nervous habit. Though your voice has kept steady while you've been talking, your heart has been thrumming in your chest the whole time, feeling as nervous as Yoongi looks. Something flickers across his face, and his hand drops away from his neck as he straightens, pushing himself off from where he's been leaning against the bar.

"Oh?" He leans towards you. Your legs unthinkingly part as he moves, the material of your dress hitching up as you spread your knees so that he can get closer. "So you do want me to fuck you?"

His nervousness seems to be entirely gone, emboldened by your words. One of his hands comes up to cup the back of your head, fingers sliding into your hair as he holds you in place, at his mercy. He's barely touched you but the feeling of contact makes you bite back a whimper. Even though it's darker here and you're away from the tables, away from the few remaining patrons of the bar, the two of you are in plain sight even under the dimmed lights; you're not doing anything illicit or inappropriate but a little thrill trickles down your spine at the idea.

"Yoongi," you breathe.

"What is it, babygirl?" He tips his head down as he moves closer, his nose brushing yours, each of his words a warm curl across your lips. "Tell me."

The pet name sends a shiver through you. Your hands rise from your lap, sliding over his chest to touch lightly at his neck, a little shy, a little bold. "I want you to kiss me."

"Oh?" Yoongi's mouth is so close to yours, and when you tilt forward to kiss him, he stays just out of your reach, leaving you wanting. "You think you deserve a kiss, do you?"

You can't help but make a little noise, a petulant whine at the back of your throat. He has you entirely at his mercy and he knows it. "Please," you say. "Please, Yoongi, wanna kiss you so bad."

The smile he gives you in reply is wicked. "How can I say no when you've asked so politely?"

Yoongi finally, finally dips his head down and then he's kissing you with such intensity it steals the breath out of you. It's open-mouthed and wet and dirty, his tongue sliding into your mouth in between taking your top and bottom lips between his own, alternating, sucking on them and lapping at them with his tongue. You chase after his mouth with your own, roll your tongues together, hands sliding over the smooth skin of his throat as they circle behind his neck, but then Yoongi pulls away; you bite that needy whine back again, kiss cut short far sooner than you would have liked.

Yoongi is taking the sight of you in, eyes lingering on your shining lips, and then he's rising to stand. You're shaken out of your kiss-induced haze when he does, a little confused, but he takes your hand in his and you let him lift up, pressing a surprisingly tender kiss to the back of your knuckles.

"Do you want to get out of here?" His voice is pitched low, deep with a promise of pleasure to come, and you shiver.

"God, I thought you'd never ask," you say in a rush, and he just laughs quietly at your obvious desperation.

"Come on, then." He helps you off the barstool, your hand still in his— god, his hands are so big and his touch is so warm. His eyes are dark as he watches the way you reach to rearrange the hem of your dress with your free hand, but he beats you to it, palm flattening the material against your legs; his fingers dance just under the edge as he straightens it, hand sliding over the skin of your inner thigh and lingering before he pulls away.

"You're shameless," you say, a little breathless, and Yoongi just smirks at you. Tease.

Your fingers remain tangled with his as he leads you behind the bar and through the staff door. Jin's out back, scrolling through something on his phone, but as soon as you walk in he abandons whatever he's doing and raises his eyebrows. He looks surprisingly severe. "Customers aren't allowed back here."

Your eyes widen, but then Jin's serious expression cracks and he starts to laugh. Although he's joking and clearly doesn't care, you feel a little guilty at breaking the rules and duck behind Yoongi, shy. Yoongi snorts and holds a middle finger up at the bartender.

Jin gasps theatrically, clutching his chest while looking askance. "I raise you from birth and this is the thanks I get?"

"You're one year older than me, hyung."

"I carry you in my womb for nine months and birth you into this world and you— oh, okay, you technically shouldn't be doing that either," Jin says, stopping mid-sentence as Yoongi decides his hyung has been talking for too long and turns away from him to start kissing you again, shameless as he tugs you close to him and licks into your mouth; you immediately fall back into him, unable to resist. "Jesus Christ, Yoongi."

Once you part, you bury your head into Yoongi's chest as his arms come around you, hiding your embarrassment in Yoongi's dress shirt. "Sorry, Jinnie," you say, muffled.

"You are absolutely not to blame here, Y/n, you are an angel and a sweetheart." Jin's tone is soothing. "Yoongi, however, is a tiny evil gremlin who needs to learn how to control himself. Though I can't blame him, you are very cute."

"Hyung, I need the apartment tonight," Yoongi says without preamble. You wriggle in the circle of his arms. You're not normally this timid but Yoongi is just so direct and blasé with Jin that you can't help but feel a little shy, as hot and bothered as you are.

"I'll crash at Joon's," the bartender says. He’s obviously not surprised. You lift your head from Yoongi's chest to look at Jin and find that he's smiling at you. "If Yoongi starts to bother you, just whap him on the nose. I find a rolled up newspaper works best if you have one to hand."

"I'll kill you, Kim Seokjin," Yoongi says.

Jin just laughs as he waves the two of you off and you take the initiative to start pulling Yoongi towards the back door. He comes easily, but once the door has swung shut behind you he takes the lead again and guides you towards his car. He lets go of your hand so that he can unlock it, swinging the passenger door open for you, and he's unabashed in how he watches you step in and eyes the way your dress hitches up again as you slide into your seat; he leans against the car and just stares at you.

There's honestly nothing sexier when someone clearly wants you as much as you want them. It makes you feel bold, drunk on the way he looks at you. 

You glance up at him through your lashes. "The sooner we get to yours, the sooner you can have me," you say.

Yoongi curses under his breath. "You're going to be the death of me."

Surprisingly enough, though, he keeps his hands to himself when he gets behind the wheel. You can't help but feel a little surprised; you don't know how close Yoongi's home is to the bar, but you very rapidly tire of waiting to feel his hands on you again and so you lean over the centre console and press a fleeting kiss just behind his ear.

Yoongi doesn't outwardly react, continuing to stare at the road, so you take this as a challenge. You slide one of your hands onto his thigh— for balance, of course— and kiss behind his ear again, tug his lobe with your teeth, mindful of his piercings, and then proceed to trail little kisses down his neck and the little slither of his collarbone that you can reach without his shirt getting in the way. You finally get to lick your tongue in the hollow of his neck that you've been thinking about for weeks.

Yoongi's hands tighten on the steering wheel. Jackpot. 

"Y/n," he says, voice low, and you're so close to his throat that you can hear the rumble behind his words. You love it. "You should stop now, or we're not going to make it to my apartment."

You go still. Yoongi continues to look at the road but his knuckles are white with how hard he's gripping the wheel, and when you glance down you can see how much you've affected him, cock hardening in his slacks. It would be so easy to slide your hand up his thigh and finally touch him, have him pull over and wreck you, but you want something more than a quick fumble in the seat of a car. 

So you just press your lips lightly against the line of his jaw one last time. You let yourself breathe in the dark scent of his cologne— pinewood and pepper and something deeper— before you pull back, folding your hands in your lap demurely, trying to force yourself to be content with waiting.

"Good girl," Yoongi says. You can't help but preen; you don't normally respond to praise like this, but something about Yoongi just makes you want to please him, hear him compliment you again. Yoongi glances at you, a little flicker of realisation as he sees how you've just reacted to his words, and his eyes darken. "You like that, baby? Like being a good girl for me?"

Fuck. "Yes." Your pulse is rising. You've been craving Yoongi for weeks, but god, if he asked you to go home right now, sent you home without touching you, you'd go, just to hear him call you a good girl again. But you don't want him to leave you untouched, you don't want that at all. "I want you to touch me, Yoongi," you say. "I'll be a good girl, please just touch me."

"Fuck." Yoongi's foot presses down on the accelerator. He's never wanted to live closer to the bar before, but the sight of you staring at him from his passenger seat and rubbing your thighs together in a desperate attempt to give yourself some relief is making him rethink his housing location. "I will, baby. We'll be there soon."

Soon turns out to be less than five minutes, scarcely any time at all, though each second is torturous in how long it feels. Yoongi's careless in how he parks the car, wonky within the lines of his spot, but neither of you notice or care. You fumble with the buckle of your belt, climbing out of the car as quickly as you can and slamming the door shut with more power than you probably need to, noise loud in the quiet of the night.

Before you can react, however, Yoongi is rounding the car and grabbing you, pressing you against the metal and glass of the door. One of his hands slips under your thigh, lifting your leg and shoving the hem of your dress out of the way so that he can grind against you; you gasp at the feeling of his growing hardness against the dampness of your underwear, and Yoongi leans forward to swallow the sound into his mouth. 

The kiss is rushed and desperate, but you love the messiness of it. Yoongi pulls away to press his lips against the side of your mouth, your cheek, your jaw, your neck, mouthing at the jumping pulse he finds there. You start to make small ah-ah noises when he laves his tongue over it, one of your hands tangling in his hair as you tilt your head back, each of his touches fizzing like electricity on your skin.

"P-people could see," you stutter, struggling to catch your breath with how good his mouth feels on you.

Yoongi smirks against your skin. "I thought you wanted me to touch you," he says, but immediately relents, pulling away from you so he can lead you into the building. You miss the heat of his body against yours but he keeps hold of your hand as you follow him; it's late and the building seems quiet, so you're mindful of just how loud your high heels sound as they clack on the floor, though Yoongi doesn't seem to care.

When you step into the apartment you reach down for the straps on your shoes so you can kick them off but Yoongi stops you with a hand to your shoulder. It's a light touch but you stop immediately, glancing up from your feet to his face.

"Let me," he says, and a hot trickle of arousal runs down your spine at the tone of his voice. 

You straighten up and watch as Yoongi gets down on one knee, hands circling around your ankle and lifting your foot. You rest the toe of your shoe lightly on Yoongi's knee, watching as he undoes the strap around your ankle and slides the shoe off, setting it to one side, before he presses his lips to the inside of your knee. You shiver at the light touch and Yoongi smirks, letting your ankle go so you can move and he can take your other shoe off, too.

He barely takes his eyes off your face the whole time, only glancing down when he has to. His motions are slow and unhurried despite his earlier rush, carefully setting the second shoe next to the first, and you can't help but feel like he's teasing you— drawing out your reactions just because he can. Before you can say anything about it, though, his hands trail up from your calves to your thigh before he hitches your leg over his shoulder, one hand staying on your thigh as the other grips at your hip.

You bite back a gasp. From his angle Yoongi can see everything and he's looking up with hooded eyes, staring at the dark patch on your underwear, wet for him; his gaze trails across the lace of the lingerie you're wearing, the small colourful flowers blooming across the dark material. It was something you'd put on to complete your outfit, the matching panties and bra making you feel expensive and pretty— even if you hadn't expected anyone to see it.

"Look at you," he says, hand lowering from your hip to trace lightly across your slit; it's a barely-there touch, sensation dulled by the material in the way, but you still jolt at the feeling of it. "Did you wear this for me?"

"Of course," you confess. You've wanted his eyes on you for so long. "Always dress up pretty for you."

"Fuck." He sounds reverent. "You've always been such a good girl for me, haven't you?"

A needy noise rises unbidden at the back of your throat when Yoongi spreads your leg wider and leans forward to mouth at you through the lace of your panties. Your knees go weak and you have to lean back against the wall for balance, grateful at how close you are to it when Yoongi draws his tongue upwards, wetting the fabric, your toes curling.

"Yoongi." One of your hands is resting in his hair and you can't stop your grip from tightening. "Yoongi, please."

He gives you what you want, fingers hooking into your underwear and pulling it down; he lets your leg drop so that you can step out of them, but as soon as you've finished he throws the panties to one side, one hand splaying across your stomach as the other lifts your leg again so that you’re spread open for him, immediately pressing his mouth to your clit.

"Oh!" You gasp. Yoongi seems to have tired of his teasing and is eating you out like a man starved, the slick sound of his tongue and lips filling the apartment as he laves attention on your dripping pussy, staring up at you as he drinks your reactions in. He dips his tongue into you and your hips try to buck forwards but the hand on your stomach holds you in place, firm, and you let out an embarrassingly loud keen at how good it feels to be this powerless.

You slap your free hand across your mouth and try to swallow the noise down. Yoongi frowns and stops, leaning his head back as he looks at you; his mouth is shining with evidence of your arousal, opalescent. "I want to hear you."

You bite your lip, forcing your hand away from your mouth; you don't want to be too loud, too noisy, but you want to be a good girl for Yoongi. He wants to hear you so you'll give him what he wants.

"O-okay," you breathe, and Yoongi smirks up at you; it's filthy, how he's looking at you like that while his lips are wet with you. You tilt your hips towards him, desperate to have his mouth on you again, and he immediately complies.

He's lapping at your clit when the hand on your stomach moves and slides down. You watch as he takes his tongue off you so that he can curl it around his fingers instead, before running those fingers across your lower lips to gather the slick there, wetting them even further. You roll your hips into the sensation, loving the press of his slightly rough fingers against your silken folds, wanting more, eyes wide as you watch how Yoongi's hand trails between your legs.

He puts his mouth back on your clit at the same time as he presses one of those spit slick fingers into you. You're so turned on that the initial slide in is easy, but he still takes his time; he's distracting you with the way he's sucking at your small bundle of nerves but you still feel when he presses his second finger in, longer than yours, the sensation of it even better than you'd dreamed.

He crooks his fingers and you throw your head back against the wall, dull thud barely registering over the sensation of Yoongi inside you. He sees how you react and continues to move his fingers in the same way, thrusting his fingers in and curling them as he pulls out, watching as you writhe; the pleasure inside you has been growing, the feeling building, and if Yoongi keeps doing that then you're going to cum. "I'm close," you gasp.

Yoongi responds to this by pushing a third finger inside you, rubbing his fingertips directly over your sweet spot. The stretch burns, just a little, but God, you love it. He purses his lips over your clit and flicks his tongue over it at the same time as he curls his fingers again and it undoes you; your spine arches away from the wall as you cum, ripples of pleasure sparking through your body as you tighten around Yoongi's fingers, sobbing almost deliriously at how good it feels.

Yoongi watches you the whole time, keeps his mouth on you as you ride out your high. He only moves away when you start to jolt from oversensitivity, pulling his fingers out carefully as he does. You feel empty without them inside you and you can't wait for him to fill you up with something better instead.

Yoongi holds you steady, his grip firm as you slip your leg from his shoulder and shakily push yourself off the wall. Once you've gotten your balance he stands up— his knees must hurt but he doesn't complain, too busy watching you lift his fingers to your lips, sucking them into your mouth so you can lick the taste of yourself off him.

"Jesus Christ." Yoongi stares at the way you flick your tongue across his skin, glancing at him coquettishly through your lashes. You reach out for him, hands moving towards his belt, but he shakes his head. "Bedroom," he says.

Of course you follow him. At any other time you'd be taking in the details of the apartment, the glimpses you get into the other rooms, but you're too busy looking at Yoongi to have a mind for anything else. He's been hard for so long by now that it must be driving him crazy and you want to give him what he wants. What he needs.

He swings a door open and flicks a light on. Yoongi's room is what you'd expected: neat and organised, with dark furnishings, the only mess being a few scrunched up balls of paper that have overflowed the trash-bin by his desk, which has a pile of notepads next to his laptop and a set up of musical equipment that looks far too complex for you to make heads or tails of. 

You forget about this instantly, however, when Yoongi captures your lips in another kiss, a hand splaying across your jaw so that he can control the pace, crowding you towards the bed until the back of your knees make contact with it and you fall onto the mattress. Yoongi cages you in with his arms and keeps kissing you, though when you palm him through his slacks he hisses through his teeth.

"Want you, Yoongi." You use your hand to stroke over the hardness of him as you nip at his lower lip. "Please."

"Fuck, of course, babygirl." Yoongi leans back and you move with him, sitting up as he stands straight. He unbuttons his shirt and you help him slide it off his shoulders, using it as an excuse to run your hands over the pale skin he reveals to you, sliding your palms down his chest and over his stomach; you dip your head to kiss where your hands have traced, letting your tongue flick across his skin. You lick shamelessly at one of his nipples and feel drunk on the way he lets out a surprised little breath, turning your head to do the same to his other nipple as your hands finally reach their goal: his belt.

You deftly unbuckle it, fast enough that the leather makes a snapping noise when you pull it, and Yoongi bites back a laugh— under normal circumstances you might be embarrassed by how obvious you're being, but you're desperate to finally touch him, especially after he'd made you cum as hard as he had. You look up at him as you reach for his zipper but falter when you notice that he's staring at you with something akin to awe, lifting your lips off his skin.

"What?" You ask, suddenly feeling shy.

Yoongi doesn't respond verbally. Instead, he quirks a little grin at you before he cups your face with both hands and bends down to kiss you again, deeper and slower than he has before. You match his pace, the two of you tilting your heads to get a little closer, but when you continue to pull Yoongi's zip down he laughs against your lips and you smile. He gets the hint, stepping back so he has room to kick his trousers and underwear off; he's not trying to be sensual about it, moving fast so he can get close to you again, but you're enraptured nonetheless.

You swallow at the sight of his cock when it’s finally freed. It's flushed red from neglect, fully hardened, curving up towards his stomach, and you can see how the head glistens with precum, slick and wet. Saliva floods your mouth. Yoongi looks briefly startled when you put your hands against his hips and lightly push him backwards, but then you slide off the bed and onto your knees in front of him and the shock immediately disappears from his face, tangling a hand in your hair as you settle in place.

He's so hard that you don't feel like teasing him. Instead, you take the precum that's gathered at the tip of his cock and rub it down his length, hand wrapping around and twisting as you dip forwards and take the flushed head into your mouth. You can't swallow him all the way down, thanks to your gag reflex, but you give it a damn good go— you relax your throat as much as you can as you lower your head, using your hand to touch the parts of his cock that aren't in your mouth. You tongue at the vein on the underside as you lift back up, using your free hand to cup his balls, and Yoongi curses, his hand tightening in your hair as he pulls you off.

You blink up at him in surprise, mouth still open after he's slid out of your mouth— you feel like you'd barely started— and you can see how his cock twitches as he drinks the sight of you in.

"That mouth of yours is downright sinful," he says, running his thumb over your lower lip. You go lax under his touch, which seems to please him. "As much as I'd like to cum down your throat, I think you want something else instead, don't you, babygirl?"

Your breath shudders out of you and you nod. You want Yoongi's cock inside you, itching for him to finally fuck you stupid, the way you've been yearning for so long. "God, yes, please."

Yoongi's lips twitch at your shameless desperation. "Stand up then, baby," he says, and you comply. "Turn around."

You turn towards the bed to show Yoongi your back, and he slowly unzips your dress; it slides off your shoulders easily, slipping down your body and pooling on the floor as Yoongi drags his hands over the revealed skin. You tremble under his touch, sensitive to each of his motions as he unclasps your bra, and finally you're entirely unclothed, lingerie carelessly tossed to one side before Yoongi pulls you close.

Your back is pressed to his chest, and you can feel the heat and hardness of his cock pressing against you, but you forget about that when his hands move to cup your breasts, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples. You tilt your head back against his shoulder and he takes the opportunity to kiss down your neck, using his tongue to lick down the bared length of it, and your breath hitches in your throat as he pinches one of your nipples between his fingers, the perfect mix of careful roughness.

"You're so fucking gorgeous," Yoongi breathes into the crook of your neck. You whimper and grind back against him, feeling the wetness of his cock as it slips against your skin, and he bites back a groan.

"Yoongi, I need you," you say, so close to finally getting what you've been craving for so long. "Please," you add, voice high with desperation.

You feel how Yoongi bares his teeth against your skin in a silent snarl before he's turning you around in his arms, and you squeal in surprise as he hitches you upwards onto the bed, your head falling onto the pillows. It wasn't a rough motion, Yoongi still careful even when he's clearly as hungry for you as you are for him, but you find yourself whimpering at how he's manhandled you, loving it. Seems like he's helping you discover things about yourself that you hadn't realised before now.

Yoongi settles between your legs, staring down at you, bare and helpless underneath him. You reach out your hand to touch his chest, sweeping your fingers down the line of his stomach and over the trail of dark hair that leads down to his weeping cock, still shining with your spit. He curses, leaning over you to paw at his nightstand drawer; he fumbles with the lube and condom when you wrap your fingers around his length again, stroking him hard and slow.

"Yoongi, please," you say again, practically begging, wanting him inside you as quickly as possible. He curses under his breath again but then wraps his fingers around yours, pulling your hand off his cock. You pout at him. "I've been a good girl, haven't I?"

"Good girls are patient." Yoongi leans back on his heels and you make a small whining noise, but you quieten when you watch him rip open the condom packet; you reach forward again to help him roll it down his cock, wanting to keep the feeling of his hardness and heat under your touch, but he fixes you with a stern gaze. "Hands."

You pause, wondering exactly what he means. You settle on pulling your hands away and stretch up to let them rest on the pillow above you. You must have done the right thing because Yoongi smiles, and you give a squirm of delight. He shifts closer and hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, turning his head to kiss your inner ankle.

"So perfect," he says, and you squirm again, pleased. He reaches for the bottle of lube and uncaps it with a quiet click, drizzling it directly onto his cock and biting back a noise at the coldness of it— but then he squirts more into his hands, warming it between his fingers. You make a small questioning sound, and Yoongi smiles before kissing your ankle again. "This is for you, baby."

Your eyebrows raise in quiet surprise. You're already so wet, dripping with a mix of your own cum and Yoongi's lingering spit, but he's still being this careful and considerate. He dips his slick fingers between your flushed lips and draws them upwards, making you arch your back as he grazes over your pearl of nerves, pleasure shooting directly into your core. 

"Oh, fuck," you gasp. "God, please, Yoongi, please."

"I've got you, babygirl," he murmurs, and you marvel at his self control, his restraint even now. He grips your leg with one hand and uses the other to guide himself into you. Finally. You moan as he sinks in, stretching you, slowly pushing in inch by inch; you can feel the way your walls stretch, parting for him, until he's bottomed out, and you feel so full.

"Holy shit, Yoongi." You've moved your hands and you're digging your nails into his back, trying to pull him closer even though it's not possible, Yoongi's cock so long that you can feel it filling you completely. "Oh, God."

Yoongi's fringe is hanging in his eyes but you can see how his pupils have almost swallowed the dark of his irises, the way he's drinking in the sight of you beneath him— your pupils are blown too, hair a messy halo against the pillows, nipples hard from arousal, chest heaving as you hiccup in air. He pulls out, just as slowly as he'd pushed in, the drag of his cock against your inner walls sending electricity shooting through your nerves; he stops before he's completely out, only the head of him still inside you, and you bite your lip in anticipation, waiting for the next slow thrust in.

You're completely blindsided when Yoongi snaps his hips forward suddenly, fucking sharply into you, and you choke on a surprised breath. He sets a brutal pace, the sound of his skin slapping against yours almost drowned out by the way you wail. Your hands fall away from his back and to the sheets, fingers gripping at them, twisting under your hands. His brows are drawn together with focus, but when you raise a hand up to touch his face he goes easily, letting your leg slip off his shoulder so he can kiss you.

His motions slow somewhat as you kiss each other, but he keeps the roll of his hips just as deep, and you end up all but panting against his mouth instead of kissing him; he swipes his tongue across your lips and you let them fall open so he can lick into your mouth, sloppy and wet. You can feel an orgasm building again, surprisingly fast— especially as he's not even touching your clit— and you clench around him, wanting to hit that peak again.

Yoongi stops kissing you to rest his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes as he slows his thrusts, grinding into you each time he pushes all the way in, hips flush with yours. "Such a good girl." His voice is a low rasp, dark and heavy. "So pretty for me."

Yes, yes, yes. "Wanna be your good girl," you breathe. "Make you feel as good as you make me feel."

Yoongi actually growls, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you up. You grab his shoulders for support, legs spreading so that your knees hit the mattress, his cock still inside you as you look down at him, both of you kneeling now. Your breasts are pressed against his chest, stomachs flush, and Yoongi grinds up into you. His hands slide from your waist, to your ass, fingers digging into your flesh as he pulls you up; the change of angle has the curve of his cock dragging right across your sweet spot and you gasp. "Oh, yes, there, just like that."

You press down as Yoongi's hips snap up, and you can feel how his motions are starting to get a little jerkier, staccato, the way he speeds up. With the drag of your nipples against his chest, and the way he's hitting your g-spot dead on each time, you're close to hitting your peak, pleasure riding up into a crescendo— and then Yoongi slides one of his hands between the two of you to rub at your clit and you're gone again, gasping and shaking as your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, all the air escaping your lungs in a drawn out, shuddering wail.

"Fuck, baby." Yoongi's motions grow a little more hurried and sloppy, thrusting up into you as your walls pulsate around him. You try to match his pace, drinking down the way his face twists as he chases his own release— and then his grip on you grows tight enough to bruise and he cums with a surprisingly quiet moan. He grinds upwards, his cock twitching inside you as he empties himself into the condom; you shiver at the sensation, squeezing your legs around his hips in an instinctive attempt to draw him as deeply into you as possible, as futile as that is.

Your legs are shaking. You remain tangled around each other, sweaty and panting, but then Yoongi is grasping your chin and tilting your head down so that he can kiss you. It's soft, and gentle, and you melt into it, going lax and boneless in his hold as you tighten your hands in his hair. 

You feel how he smiles tiredly against your lips, and when you pull back, he looks thoroughly fucked out; his hair is a mess from how you've been running your hands through it and lips are kiss swollen, parted so that he can suck air in and try to catch his breath. You must look similarly wrecked. You feel hazy, though Yoongi feels solid beneath you, grounding you as you slowly come back to yourself.

"I'm going to lean you back, beautiful," he says, and you entwine your fingers together behind his neck so that he can tilt you onto the mattress, careful and reverent. He slips his softening cock out of you and you let out a small sigh at the sudden feeling of emptiness, though as soon as he's done tying the condom off and throwing it in the bin he comes back to you, lightly kissing you as he draws a hand gently between the valley of your breasts. Despite the tenderness behind the motion you're suddenly struck with wondering if he's about to ask you to leave, but then he asks: "Do you want to come wash up?"

You pause. "Oh, God, my makeup," you say with sudden realisation as your fingers come up to touch under your eyes. Your eyeshadow and mascara must be a mess by now. You splay your hand across your face, as if trying to hide it— which you know is stupid, especially considering the fact the rest of your body is naked under Yoongi's gaze. He huffs out a laugh and takes your hands with his own, pulling them away. "Nooo," you whine. "Don't look at me."

One of Yoongi's eyebrows rises. "Why would I ever want to look away from you?"

You wriggle. "Yoongi," you whine again, equal parts pleased and embarrassed, but you let your hands go limp and Yoongi pulls you to your feet. "You're shameless."

"And you're gorgeous," he says, simply. "Come on, you'll get cold."

Yoongi lets you clean up first. It's weird how comfortable you are as you navigate your way around Yoongi and Jin's bathroom— you pilfer one of Jin's makeup wipes to clean your face— and how natural it feels to accept the shirt Yoongi gives you, an oversized, stretched-out old thing that's gone soft from years of wear. You're perched on the bathroom counter as you slide it on, glancing down at the design on the front, and you instantly perk up when you see what it is.

"You do love Kumamon," you say with delight. 

Yoongi stops in the middle of brushing his teeth, looking a little ridiculous with the minty froth around his lips but still just as kissable. He rinses his mouth and spits, wiping his lips with a towel before he makes a face at you.

"Jin told you about that, too?"

"I want to see your slippers," you say in reply and Yoongi groans. You can't help but giggle, feeling sleepy and soft and affectionate, and you touch your fingers under Yoongi's chin so that you can press a quick kiss to his lips. "I think it's cute."

By the time you've both finished your ablutions and you slide off the counter, you feel tired, what little energy you had after being fucked by Yoongi completely gone from you; you slide onto Yoongi's bed gratefully, glad to be off your feet. You hold your hands up and beckon for him to join you, but then let out a sharp laugh of surprise when he tugs his rumpled blanket off the bed from underneath you and lets it drop to the floor. "Yoongi!"

"I'll be right back," he says. While you wait, you decide to stretch, eyes slipping shut as you extend your limbs. You know you'll feel the ache between your legs tomorrow, a little thrill skating through you at the knowledge that Yoongi's touch has left a physical reminder, something only you can feel and no one else can see.

When your eyes flutter open again, you see Yoongi standing at the bottom of the bed, a different blanket gathered in his arms. He's staring at you, and you realise that the material of his shirt has moved as you've stretched, hitching up over your hips. Even though you're both tired, Yoongi's eyes still darken when you shift your legs, and you bask under his attention.

"A different blanket?" You ask, curious, and Yoongi's eyes slide away from your still-bare core back up to your face.

"It's Jin's," he says. "I wasn't about to let you sleep on sweaty sex sheets."

"I don't mind," you say, honestly, but Yoongi proceeds to lay Jin's blanket across the bed anyway. "Jin's not going to be happy about this," you add, but you say it with a laugh, instantly curling up into Yoongi when he lays down beside you.

"He'll live." Yoongi's arm comes around you, fingers trailing over your shoulder; you lapse into silence and let your eyes shut, focusing on Yoongi's movements. It feels like he’s pressing piano keys down and playing a silent song against your skin. You can't help but smile, starting to drift off, when Yoongi speaks again. "Let me take you out for breakfast."

"Hm?" Your eyes open and you blink away your sleepiness to look up at Yoongi, who's still watching you. "Breakfast?"

"Yes." Yoongi's fingers still on your shoulder, and then he slides his hand down to tangle your fingers with his. "Or lunch. Or dinner. Whichever you prefer." He pauses. "Unless you don't want to," he says, and though his voice stays steady, you see a flicker of nervousness in his eyes. He's worried that you've gotten what you want and now you'll be done with him.

"You're so silly," you say softly, and you can see how Yoongi's face twists with confusion, unsure about how to react to being called silly— you can't imagine many people have said that to him, as outwardly intimidating as he can be. You squeeze his hand. "Of course I want to. But how about we plan it tomorrow? I don't know how long it's going to take me to be comfortable with walking in a straight line, so breakfast might be off the cards for now."

After a moment, Yoongi's face takes on a satisfied expression. "That's what you said you wanted," he says, and you huff out an amused breath.

"I technically said I wanted you to bend me over a piano, actually," you point out, letting your head settle in the crook of his neck again, and Yoongi brushes his lips against your forehead.

"There's a piano in the living room," he states casually, and you can't help the shiver that runs through you, even as your eyes start to fall shut again.

"I'll keep that in mind."

–

jiminnie y/n!! tae said you called in sick for work? are you okay??

you i'm good! just a lil busy

jiminnie with what?

you [image attached]

jiminnie … why have you sent me a photo of a piano?

you yoongi's gonna fuck me on it omg on that note i've gtg BYE LOVE YOU MINNIE xoxoxo

jiminnie WHAT??? OMG??? GET THAT DICK QUEEN!!!

[askuemki]

woo!!! glad you are <3

Wonder when season two will come out, Ik its some time this year.. Out of the RE8 villans though, Donna Beneviento has my heart!! She's really tragic as a character and it makes me want to give her a fat hug Mother Miranda does have a really cool design (and Dimitrescu), the whole crow aesthetic is neat I don't think it's outwardly stated that she's a lesbian But there's definitely quite a few good hints here and there w/ her whole man-hating spiel, and castle full of statues w/ women (from what i've heard) So in my book? I'm calling her gay lmao An epic way to go would maybe to do something with explosions, or something actually heroic, if not than I agree, going to sleep would be best Noted <3 Terrifying stuffed animals has its charm, I remember seeing these people trying to make this one stuffed bear, but it looked like it was ripped out of a chainsaw -- it made me giggle Yeah it's probably because of the hot summer weather.. Plus there's tiny cracks in the back porch door where they can crawl in easily :( Honestly that way seems more helpful than buying new clothes, cheaper tailoring would probably have people keep their clothes more Man I remember donating stuff to goodwill (long, long ago) and saw some vintage tub full of barbie dolls were like 5-7 bucks.. Haven't been there since and I don't think ill return I remember sometimes starting to answer but then not feeling in the mood (bc I don't wanna have dry crappy answers) so i give up n start again later And the disgusting bathroom floor.. I hate when clothes touch the floors... And yeah w/ skirts you can just take them and its like the quickest in and out INDEED. Tiktok kinda fucked up my attention span too, I hate it I haven't been on there for a long, long while and idk if i'll return there.. old ladies are pretty neat though (least the sane ones) I'm the kind of person that doesn't keep up w/ more of the mainstream stuff, or my mainstream stuff is different than yours Not every person can get a gun, but the needed stuff doesn't seem much to deter people from getting a gun sighs you can have all of my burgers than, I never ate that patty meat and I don't think I'll ever trust it I think France can fit right inside texas, plus you can drive here for hours and remain in the same state, while in France you drive 60 minutes and you're in a whole different country I'm really nitpicky on what I get, so usually I get little to nothing new items like majority of the year Unless my mother walks in with a random product Small details weren't exactly hard, you just had to zoom in REALLY close, especially on the phone instead of an ipad Yeah the stylus is an electric pen! mine is battery powered I don't know if the glove has a name, but that's exactly what it's used for I have one that's a tad oversized for me, but I don't really use it

@vivgst new thread <3 (I have the cut so it won't be a pain to scroll lol)

I've never watched Death Note, but I guess Ill just say L is my favorite since we share a name (technically) Honestly? my answer is simple w/ what animal Id be Almost ANY cat (not the flatfaced or folded ear ones though they can have some bad health issues :( ) Like if you're a domestic cat, you have the stuff to survive both in the wild, or in someone's house. You have super scenes of smell, night vision, claws, sharp teeth, AND probably enough smarts to not get eaten by dogs or smth. On the other hand with humans, at least 70% of the population would adore you, and maybe even take you in to pamper you. It would be very easy to get them to do your bidding since you'd be just some animal, and perhaps put above your caretaker's needs. Pets? Affection? Just act all adorable and stuff and they'll give it to you, cling on to them and they'll say they're your human now. On the other hand (or paw) there's the wild cats!! Still very cute. Still very cool. Now your defenses are upped by a ton, and people still find you cute. Though with how shitty environmental conditions are, and with the bigger cats slowly going to extinction :( , I may or may not just stick to domestic cats But hypothetically.. It would be neat to be either a snow leopard, tiger, or a jaguar. I love snow leopards for their big fluffy tails, and it would be cool to be able to roam through snow and stuff, but that seems to get a little boring from time to time. Love tigers for their stripes, I don't think they can roar..?? But that doesn't change anything. Think Tigers and Jaguars are both pretty efficient in survival, but I'd pick Jaguar just for their athletics and HUGE bite force (least from my 1st search). Or maybe, maybe not because there's an outfit/skin or two of Valeria's that are based on jaguars.. (or leopards, but ill go w/ jaguars) im obsessed w/ this woman man hdwhadwjadawnk OH ALSO ON THE TOPIC OF BIRDS??? AS FUN AS IT WOULD BE TO BE A MALE BIRD AND SHAKE YOUR COLORFUL BUM AROUND, THERE WAS A WHOLE ASS WAR W/ EMUS AND AUSTRALIA Honestly who wouldn't wanna be a relative of a dinosaur, but smaller and just as fucking scary Also for vacation.... I don't like going on vacation. I just like being in my sad little room, on the internet or drawing my ass off But, Id love to visit Japan and see their Ghibli Studio museum, it's so cool... Or even just go to a few hotels or smth here and there, I love their stellar technology, I love how everything is so cute or neat there, oh and I especially LOVE the social rules there, I'm a goody-two-shoes at heart and perfectly agree with being "nice"... Like yeah sure I may not like you or the opposite, but at least we can co-exist without biting our heads off (unlike the fucking us) and japan seems open to their culture being explored by others, so I'd totally love to (respectfully) participate in some traditions here and there OR I could visit Europe. Like not even a specific country? Just Europe. Cuz the US is like really fucking big, and a country like France is apparently as big as Texas. And it would be cool to take a week trip just exploring cultures and stuff (well everything except food, I'm a terrible picky eater ugh) Vacation in the US scares me tho, I'm fine where I'm at rn Maybe id be a little open to going to canada.. but bc of how they're treating the Palestine genoside rn maybe like later in life if they redeem themselves, but like the us? Fuck them too I think crocodiles r cute, but I wouldn't wanna go near one :3 Most of my relatives are either in the Philippines or Maryland, I barely know abt them now Never thought I'd be the one to be the gay cousin, ngl