#bc if I stop I just won't do it at all
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more naclyoho
since i made progress but did not finish my mending project on the 3rd, i finished it on the 4th. where before there were holes and worn fabric, there is now fun embroidery!
love how it turned out! i'd like to figure out how to fix and protect those ragged stretchy cuff ends too, but that's a project for another time. i also cleaned the toilet bowls.
on the 5th i washed another window's blinds! very slowly, with many breaks, bc what a fucking task lol. that window is taller than me 🫠. but that's 2 windows done! i swept and washed the sill and the floor underneath while i was down there, too, so I won't have to move the piece of furniture that goes in front of it again, if i clean the rest of that floor soon (a big if, but less big for having done that).
today/the 6th, i did some dusting and added in a few high up spots that can't be easily reached and were therefore Very dusty. i wasn't willing to get out a ladder today but i was willing to stand on tiptoe and/or the stairs and really reach, and some stuff's cleaner than it's been in a while for it. also got what I could reach of some wall, which shouldn't be allowed to get dusty, and yet!
#naclyoho#visible mending#i could've reached much more wall if i'd gotten out the floor duster and more high spots if i'd gotten out the ladder#but i had momentum with the hand duster and only the hand duster#and i know by now it's best to just go with it and be happy i did what i did than to stop and try to do it 'properly'#bc if I stop I just won't do it at all#and working with yourself like that seems to be very much in the spirit of this whole thing#which is what attracted me to it in the first place!
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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good news: i have a new bf! bad news: he's a discord mod 😹
[sona and quest both use he/him!]
#already tried 2 post this once and tumblr stopped me. mysterious.#anyway do y'all fuck w quest blooming panic#bc i do. unfortunately for all of u#dialogue is a sims reference Plz Get It#🥀🪽#< ship tag. just in case this isnt the last u see of him.#(it won't be)#ok to rb!#my art! :3#yumeship#selfship community#selfship art#fictional other#f/o community#yumeship art
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Rewatching succession it really is wild to see Kendall and Shiv convince themselves over and over again that they can "fix ATN/Waystar from the inside" only to completely abandon their morals the minute it gives them a strategic advantage.
When they're on the outside it's an endless diatribe about how evil and rotten the company is to its core, but the second they get the slightest whiff of power they suddenly decide the problems are actually really manageable and that with the right leadership it could be a force for good, and like...the saddest part is that they genuinely seem to believe that.
#where's that crime and punishment quote about how the worst thing is that you've betrayed yourself for nothing...#and they really seem to think its true! they genuinely believe that they can turn it around and make it good! it's not an act!#kendall really thinks he's a feminist and 'one of the good ones' and shiv really does think she stands with/for women and liberal#ideals and the truth is that no matter how much they might care about those things they will always love power more and they#are infinitely more invested in the power structures that keep injustice alive than they are in actually trying to stop injustice#roman is the only one who's actually aware and honest about how fucked it all is but he thinks that means everything's bullshit and#therefore nothing matters. which can be just as dangerous as convincing yourself you're the good guy (see: america decides)#that's one of the things i like so much about the ending for shiv and kendall bc they're finally forced to confront the lies they've been#telling themselves. and like. maybe that'll go nowhere. maybe they won't change. but they might. and the only hope they have#of actually growing as people and maybe doing something good is if that illusion gets shattered#idk man i just have so many thoughts about succession#succession#shiv roy#kendall roy
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i wanted to see altaria rei then i started goofin around
#the only ones i could see clearly were eevee eiden and morpeko morvay#i couldn't pin rei to a single mon bc i don't know a THING ABOUT HIM yet#but i want to see ghost type rei fight ghost type kuya and they're both just super effective against each other#i wonder if all the old men automatically get honourary ghost type membership. live 300 years ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: spooky#ANYWAY LET ME TALK ABOUT MY LIST#as in the list i was compiling of pokemon who matched the VIBE of someone and i couldn't decide#now BESIDES the ones req et al. already mentioned. which i already 👍👍👍 i was trying to find even moooore . exploring what could be.....#rei: altaria. marowak (alolan). noctowl. chandelure. decidueye. ribombee [a quiet friend :)]. inteleon.#once again i don't know rei's birdy deal yet so i won't (eheheh) pigeonhole him into an owl pokemon but we'll just wait and see#i had inteleon under rei before milke brought up sobble yakumo so now i'm like..... oh no...#rei fits the last evol and yakumo fits the first two.... uhhhhh#they can share. like they share gem placement. butt buddies.#yakumo had: girafarig. froslass. azurill (crying). tropius. wishiwashi. leavanny. marshadow.#i just want him to hang out with the food related mons and enjoy some fresh fruit with a giant flying dinosaur. yah#OK FOR EDMOND I SAW SIRFETCH'D AND COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING#WHAT A REGAL BOY. I HAVE TO. PLEASE I NEED EDMOND TO WIELD ONIONS#i was trying to be serious and find him a proper majestic pokesona . i swear. but the look on sirfetch'd's's face#edmond's list went: skarmory. lucario. cinccino. zeraora. dachsbun.#do i know edmond? i doubt. he's fluffy. wait no he's severe. wait no would he dare carry a fluffy cakey pokemon around? DARE HE????#for olivine i was even more stumped. seems like a lot of the pokemon i immediately thought of were the fluffy nurse types#stuff like chansey/blissey. kangaskhan.#this pokemon is 100% female? *flings pokedex out the window* no. olivine is a gender now#some of the newer pokemon i considered were bewear. drampa. mabosstiff.#but once again these were all just Protective of the Little Ones types#so i was imagining olivine just chilling with his serene smile and an army of MASSIVE CARETAKER POKEMON behind him#but. there has to be more to him than just taking care of others . furrows brow. idk. i'll settle for lapras FOR NOW#ditto eiden riding on the back of lapras. wonderful. glorious#pokemon crossover
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hello, it's me again. so i saw you mention on my prompt how jason would be jealous of rose's healing factor when it comes to fucking kara and the jaycass you wrote and i thought why not combine them? in young justice jason and kara are part of the light and cass was in the shadows before defecting and joining the bats. what if she doesn't? childhood friends/lovers jaykara but kara becomes a red lantern after jason's death. after a while jason heals and goes on a mission with kara and they recognise each other. they cry, fight, fuck, all of that before breaking free of the light and run into cass. maybe cass and jason fucked a couple of times in the league to release some stress, and kara would be attracted to cass, so all three of them have a threesome inside a lazarus pit. just a cycle of fucking and breaking and dying and soul breaking healing. you can get really kinky with this too, like kara could ride jason to death, jason could fist cass until she needs the pit, cass could ride jason's face until he chokes on her juices, could even have kara bring a strap and her and jay could fuck cass at the same time (regular dp or anal dp) or peg jason until he can't walk. maybe they force kara to take a kryptonite shard up her pussy while jason fucks her and cass rides her face. technically the lazarus pit would boost their stamina every time they dip, and kara's a kryptonian, so they'd fuck for actual days or weeks. maybe they fuck so long they don't realise it until a team associated with the justice league walk in on them on a mission to rescue cass or something
HELLO YOU. YOU GET ME. it's my favorite thing EVER when the Laz Pit is utilized for a vicious cycle of fucking, dying, and fucking again. the altered mental state, the violent levels the sex can be taken to when dying no longer matter and longterm injuries aren't an issue... it lives in my brain.
i'll be honest, i don't know or care much about the Young Justice tv show so you'll have to forgive me for this being divorced from that world bc it's just. foreign as fuck to me so my apologies for that but as for the porn. (decided to put this headcanon/concept under a cut bc i feel like what could be considered snuff is probably a jumpscare for most ppl so. click at your own warning)
i just. i adore brutal dead dove sex that is destructive. like the whole "i want to crawl inside your chest" but it's *literal* and no one takes advantage of Laz Pits enough to do just that. like sex where you just physically can't hold yourself back from tearing open the flesh of the person you love bc you need to see their blood, you need to hold their heart in your greedy fist type shit. and if this is an AU where Jason and Kara were close but got separated by Jason ended up with the League, i do think their reunion could bring about just that. for once Kara isn't holding herself back and she's clawing at Jason's skin until he's bloody. i think it's fun if sometimes she just fucks him *in* the water bc it's quicker that way and Jason is constantly on this edge of death and rebirth at the same time. and with Cass in the mix too. JayCass you get me anon <3 Jason loves Kara still but it's clear he and Cass are a sort of package deal now and Kara might not know Cass well but if Jason loves her, she can trust that. so she gets to know Cass in the only way she cares about at the moment, pinning Cass down and fucking her. with a strap, with her own fist, anything that she can get inside of Cass to feel her body. maybe she pushes in too far and fucks Cass bloody until Csss needs the Pit sooner than even Jason did. and for Cass, who has no benchmark for real love but this dizzying feeling of being revived over and over, this is all she can ask for. devotion.
them suffocating on each other is so good- Kara doesn't care if Jason or Cass need to breathe, she cares about getting off and feeling whole again. she holds them down until their body gives out and forces them into the Pit again. maybe at some point she gets curious and holds one of them down facedown in the waters just to see if it's even possible to drown in the Lazarus Pit or not. she breaks bones just because she can and she wants to see what level of pain it takes for Cass to actually react to. how long it takes for a human body to bleed out. exploring their bodies means memorizing the limitations of them. it means she learns what them getting close to death looks like the same as getting close to an orgasm and whispers filthy dirty talk about how she can hear Jason's heart about to go out as he's trying desperately to come before he dies again. she counts how many minutes it takes before they die from lack of oxygen and compares who can last longer.
the Kryptonite shard is also enlightened- eventually Cass and Jason want to be the ones in control bc fair is fair and they deserve to do the same to Kara so they find some stash of Kryptonite and hold Kara down until it's deep inside of her and she's weak and in pain but still getting fucked. and she gets to taste the Lazarus Pit too, which i think would make her absolutely feral. Kara deserves some Pit rage for fun, i think even if she only gets to taste it while Cass is holding her down so Jason can fuck the Kryptonite deeper inside of her. every now and then Kara actually manages to strike one of them hard enough to injure them and it doesn't matter bc the Pit is right there.
all of it lasting for Days is just. good. like the haze the Pit has on the mind, being used over and over? almost like a spell none of them can break. they'd live the rest of their lives like this if they could and there would never even be a realistic end. it takes someone else walking in and managing to separate them before they actually calm down. and days before all the Lazarus Pit wears off and it finally sinks in just how fucked up what they did together was. and how fucked up it is that they don't even regret it. they're already trying to figure out where another Lazarus Pit is and how they can get control of it. i think it's fun if they spring it on each other too. like Jason will fall asleep in his bed but wake up to Cass and Kara holding his head under the green waters as he thrashes on instinct. Cass will be minding her business until Kara literally grabs her at superspeed and just flies her off to the waters to spread her legs and fuck her at superspeed until she's a bloody mess. they never know peace with each other and they irreparably damage their psyches over this. ty and gn.
#necrotic answerings#jaykaracass#jaycass#karacass#jaykara#dead dove do not eat#darkfic#anon it's like your connected to my brain bc i've been thinking about this concept for months#I might write this fic. I'm so serious#or just a fic with some ship with this concept.#anyway this one is so dark i've had the “can I even post this” question hit me#which of course means it's a favorite of mine#this is a reminder that I take the necrotic in my username seriously. it's not an aesthetic it's a promise.#I just adore Kara being so disgustingly feral in sex#and having a laz pit that lets her stop holding back. god bless.#I don't pick favorites but if I had a favorite anon. I think you'd be in the running I won't lie#bc yea. just. yeah. also your rarepairs are ELITE thoughts#does it count as snuff if the death isn't permanent and all characters understand that? unclear.#I feel it needs it's own word atp.#ALSO you could add cannibalism to this concept#Kara literally biting chunks off of both of them.#just bc she can.#or Jason and Cass eating at each other as she watches.#good thoughts all around#Jesus I need therapy.
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This is on my tiktok but I wanted to post it here too bc it's really been bugging me
The caption essentially said that if I see a characterisation I don't like (I used the example of big buff alpha remus) I just scroll because clearly the content was made for someone else and I'm not the target audience
#let people have different interpretations#let out of character fics exist#there's no one right way to write and view a character#if someone wants to throw out canon and write their own interpretation that is AMAZING#if someone wants to explore what one change (such as the black cousins being in an abusive household) could have on the story LET THEM#stop crushing the creativity of young teens because you can't have fun#marauders era#marauders#mwpp#feel kind of bad tagging this with all the fandom tags I'm sorry :/ I just wanted to get it out there#to show people who do write 'ooc' interpretations thay that is FINE#and most people are SO PROUD that you're able to explore and share that creativity with us#dldr#DON'T LIKE DON'T READ#remember that?#there's nothing wrong with liking canon characterisation but you don't have to be a dick about it#you don't have to force it onto everyone around you#they're allowed to make their own versions up#dead gay wizards#id feel so bad putting ship or character tags#bc that's not the content ppl on the tags wanna see so I won't
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hi would it kill you if you, you know, actually tried to get to the ball? :)
#i actually really hate my team#the amount of times i wanted to freaking snap at them#but noooooo i can't do that bc it's against the rules#yk maybe if you actually practiced you'd get better#maybe if you idk actually tried to act like you're into the game we'd win#maybe if you stop swinging your freaking arms and actually do what the coach says instead we won't lose???#“omg ik we're gonna lose” hmmmm i wonder why#this is all so useless idek why i'm yapping it was literally just one game#skop's rambles
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
#wherein lmao means I'm so scared and i cant stop crying rn#no one should have to fear this. not me nor anyone else nor the ppl who have already had to flee their homes worldwide#a person shouldn't have to worry abt violence being enacted upon them bc of who they are which like#obvi isn't a new concept to myself and most ppl but i feel like the folks who'll vote Trmp don't care for it#won't affect them in theory after all so of course they don't care#Housemate and I are trying to figure out where we could go and how in case of the worst#and it's not even the first time I'll have had to leave a place bc of safety reasons (two nickles on that already in my life)#but it doesn't make it any less daunting#i just want to live my life in our little house with Housemate and the cats working my shit job and trying to enjoy whatever i can#none of this matters and im shouting into a void full of equally terrified ppl dealing with this themselves if not worse#these tags don't make sense entirely and i don't care. i have things I should be doing and I'm sitting in my room#paralysed by fear over all of this#i should distract myself but with what? at what point do i accept the distractions can only do so much?#maybe I'll just take a nap again. idk. feels weird and wrong to play a video game or nap ordo anything that isn't trying to research options#i need to stop rambling here like im hoping time will pause while i type im out again lmao
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favorite type of villanous characters are the ones whose motivations boil down to
like they dont even have to have any stakes in the broader situation. they just have take pleasure in destruction
#sometimes this can be done in a very funee cartoon villain kind of way a la spike from buffy#and sometimes it can be done in a positively chilling way where this character knows for a fact that some of the effects of their chaos#will also make their life worse. but they just enjoy fucking with other people more than any privation they could personally experience#you can't sway this person with common sense because their own personal logic dictates that it doesn't apply to them#you can't sway them with emotion; your sadness/fear/anger/ineffectuality is part of the entertainment factor#can't sway 'em with threats because dodging threats is ALSO part of the whole point#this second version is the least pathetic type of character mostly because they simply do not give a shit about anything ever#any personal fears are buried or stomped out and figuring out why they do what they do won't stop them from doing it#and yet: in order to keep the relentless making-it-worse guy from being uninterestingly evil there does have to be SOME desire or need#bodily harm or lack of available victims could get you a moment of genuine terror or loneliness that sparks the audience sympathy#which you do need! just long enough for the sympathy to then be misplaced. which you also need bc this is an antagonist#the first version does very well at redemption arcs and is sort of built for them . they're almost too easy for the first cartoon version#the second version should be kept separate from redemption arcs at all costs#or you no longer have that character anymore now he's someone else#writing tag#q#god. one thing is that i know how to spot character types in writing and detail what's good about them and talk about it#but when it comes to then executing the concept? my perception of what's cool and works and my execution are MILES apart#frustrating as hell that i can identify this guy but not create him
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.”
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!
#blame Kat for this lmao. she got the Yangchen novels first and I very easily give in to peer pressure (that wasn't exerted. but whatever)#three days earlier than scheduled too. which worked out perfectly bc I picked them up on the way home from grandma's#and carried them for 2 km. 2 hardcover books + the thick cardboard boxset they're in#+ the backpack full of food my grandma gave me#in the rain#I nearly fucking died#I'm not made for this level of physical exercise 😅#okay moving on#nia stop calling things like this poor financial decisions challenge#it cost like. the equivalent of 40 bucks#I have 30 times as much hidden away in my sock drawer#and I am usually responsible with my spending. I'm allowed a slightly more expensive treat every once in a while#also my dad doesn't know but I'm sure if I would him 'hey I spent 3.8k on a pair of books is that okay'#he'd be like 'why tf are you asking when have I ever said no to you spending money'#but again. I do try to be mindful#which is why as much as I want the lok art books and could probably ask for money for them. I won't#bc they cost an arm and a leg and I cannot morally allow myself to spend that kind of money#anyway. getting distracted again#do you know how hard it was to get these? I checked like 3 marketplaces before I did#and I was fully ready to get them in russian because non-classical english books are impossible to come by here#sanctions and all that. but somehow I did. and it only cost half the money in my bank account#I don't even know if Russian editions exist. these books were written before the war and before the gay propaganda ban but still#I didn't find them when I looked. maybe they don't sell them now that the law is in place or smth#I don't really care enough to look it up#the point is. I now own the books and can happily read about best girl kyoshi whenever I want#if the stress for an upcoming event doesn't kill me. that is#also I have read rok before but it was 3 years ago so my memory is vague. and I just realised how much thinner sok is?#I'll have to check the page count later
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It always comes back to the same problems. Tale, Fell, Swap, the majority of all my other AUs, Sans feels tremendous amounts of pressure to take care of his brother and tries hard not to let Papyrus know just how difficult it truly is for him, Papyrus can obviously tell anyway, and feels tons of pressure to take more responsibility for himself.
Papyrus is so easily influenced at such a young age, and learns to keep the struggles a secret from Sans, and later on unintentionally doing the same thing Sans did by trying to hide the burden so it wouldn't weigh on his brother.
Maybe the exact why or other circumstances vary but it always ends up that way. Sans thinks he has to do everything on his own and Papyrus just wants to help him, but the only way he knows how is to do the exact thing that only worries Sans more but neither will just talk about it. For one reason or another. They are locked in knowing the other cares, wanting to take care of them, but failing to ever actually do things to better their relationship, only creating more, and more, and more distance.
Because distance is safer than dragging each other down. It takes a very long time to realize they were doing that anyway (if they ever get so lucky).
#okay I have to stop thinking about it or I'm gunna start thinking about VF and then I'll be ill so yeah#it's esp grueling in uf bc edge KNOWS. he KNOWS how much the distance hurts them but no matter how many times he’s tried to close it Sans#keeps him at arms length. pushes him away. bc he’s convinced he’s not gunna make it and Papyrus has to learn how to deal w/o him. bc he#'knows' how useless he is. how much he burdens Papyrus. and he just wants him to stop...CARING so damn much. he sees how much it hurts#Papyrus and it kills him but he knows it would be so much worse if he let him in. he would be the death of both of them and he won't do#that to him. he won't.#FUCK they all make me so emotional bc they care abt each other so much but can't ever figure out how to make it not hurt#okay.#okay. done being a drama queen for now. good evening#sun spots#undertale#underfell#underswap#ut rus#ut sans#us stretch#us blue#uf edge#uf red
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That different people can engage with the same piece of media and come out of it with wildly different interpretations is a testament to the evolutionary miracle that is the human brain. It is also very annoying.
#but i'm gonna mind my own business.#like the point of saw and luthen's characters TO ME isn't 'Both Sides Bad' it's 'revolution is ugly beyond belief and#if you make it out alive it won't be with clean hands EVEN IF your cause is just and the alternative (fascism) is unbearable.#i think the audience is meant to be disturbed by their accelerationist tactics we are meant to think about whether the ends really justify#the means we are meant to think about whether 'good' is something you believe or something you do or something in between.#we as the audience of a prequel series also have the benefit of near-omniscience bc WE know that while saw and luthen are poking the bear#and playing with human lives like they're chess pieces the empire is actively building a weapon capable of blowing up entire planets#and mass-murdering billions which they will later use without hesitation. saw and luthen DON'T know that which complicates things further.#collapsing all that nuance and reducing it to Both Sides Bad is. well. reductive. but like i said i'm gonna mind my own business (lying).#btw i say all of this as someone who studied real-life parallels of these kinds of things extensively in school and had to stop because#i was too much of a kumbaya pacifist and it quite literally drove me insane.#so if anybody came out of that show saying Both Sides Bad it should've been me. and yet. like idk man at the end of the day#there is a difference between a rebellion using violence to claw back an imperfect democracy and a brutally repressive empire.#sorry i promise i'll stop talking about this show someday but ummm that day is not today. apparently.
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locked in so hard...I outlined two chapters...but wait, it gets worse. I was so locked in my outline is 20 pages long already...and I only have three chapters....the power of a silly drink and three hours at the library
#dw guys this outline won't break my computer (i hope) like cold kisses did bc i finally turned off grammarly#i was sick of it half the time being like “this doc is too long 🤨 we don't wanna look at it” which was FINE I LIKED WHEN IT DID THAT#but the other 50% of the time it was like “LET ME READ THIS AND HIGHLIGHT ALL THE TIMES YOU PURPOSELY DIDN'T CAPITALIZE YOUR i'S'#punctuation is not right in that sentence and idk what i clicked but i'm not fixing the end of that tag#i think my record was like 1022 errors#and i was always trying to shut it off like bro 😭😭 u don't gotta scan the whole doc#also just went to the store to buy sour cream#TELL ME WHY I'M AT THE STOP LIGHT SHOVING THIS SOUR CREAM IN MY BAG I BROUGHT W ME TO THE LIBRARY#this car next to me looks at me (we both have our windows down)#we BOTH do a double take bc i thought i knew him#and he tells me he likes the color of my hair#and i just completely sneered i'm pretty sure i gave him a look on disgust and was like “🙄 thanks”#I'M SORRY IT WAS SO OFFPUTTING THIS IS WHY I'M SINGLE BC I ALWAYS EXPECT THE WORST INTENTIONS FROM MEN#WHY DID HE SAY THAT TO ME#thank u for coming to my very unrelated rant in the tags i had to tell someone#ness' brainvomit <3
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