lee1504

[lee1504]

1st batch of random sketches of a loose ivlk au idea

in which ivan is a vocalist/lyricist in a band who lost his inspiration for music and finds it in luka, a burnt out musical prodigy, after getting entangled with him almost by fate; they become each others muse and obsession - and comfort

they share the similarity of being musical prodigies with abusive guardians/upbringing; ivan ran away from his and lives a free and unrestrained life singing in underground bars and clubs in a band he only joined bc of his best friend/childhood love. his feelings went unrequited for many years until he eventually and recently slowly got over it, coming to terms its no use and that they would never have a chance since hes "too intense", "too much", "not normal". bc of this, his inspiration disappeared since till was his muse all this time

luka stayed and became a golden-caged songbird, objectified and used by his possessive guardian bc of his talent. he was trained strictly since childhood and forced to perform on stage, study and pursue music, the only thing that he truly enjoys, to utmost perfection to the point of burn out and beyond. his guardian eventually passed and it left luka free but since his entire life was planned and dictated and control taken from him, he feels lost and alone, unsure what to do. music was the only purpose in his life, the only thing hes good at, he can do; hes burnt out and exhausted but still continues, the things his guardian ingrained into his mind still controlling his behavior and life

when luka meets ivan, his love for music gets rekindled without the pressure and abuse that loomed over him all his life; when ivan meets luka, his inspiration and love returns. theyre both scarred from their similar upbringing and situation which influences a lot of things they are/do (e.g. tendencies to become obsessive/possessive,...) theyre both considered and branded "odd" by people around them but they learn they can let go of their masks around each other and be themselves, finding comfort and healing together. what started as an entanglement w mutual benefits grows into mutual love

i babbled quite a bit kjhbkjbj.. 🧍‍♀️

(as obvious above, i love keeping close to canon while also mixing in own thoughts/my hcs when i do AUs so yea, luka still has asthma, migraines etcetc, but theyre also both autistic (not planning to make it relevant or focus, im just throwing it out there) and luka has an ED)

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the recurring urge to bully kids online

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has r7 settled in for anyone yet

[lee1504]

the mourner

(inpired by @movzxr)

Why? Why was Ashlyn waking up in a cold sweat, clutching her hair or her blankets, eyes wide as if she'd just witnessed a horrific scene?

Why was she having to constantly brush her hand against their shirt, as if reminding herself that they were alright, that they were alive and breathing?

She'd have to glance at them, once, twice, to check that they weren't just a trick of her mind. Even if they were talking, she'd have to purposely touch their hand to make sure they weren't a mirage.

She hated touching. She preferred keeping her distance, but after that incident, those ones, she couldn't stop herself.

They were real.

They were alive.

She knew that, but she couldn't forget how they looked when their life momentarily ended. His dark, dark clothes covered with blood from their own chest. His dirty blond hair seeping with red from his own head.

It made her sick.

They made her sick, and she never wanted to admit that.

She'd wake up one night, her heart throbbing from stress, her head throbbing from hurt, and she'd be helpless. They were all miles away, and she couldn't so anything but stare at the wall and hope their own hearts were pumping.

She wanted to die. She wanted to die so badly, but she knew she couldn't. The others would hurt--maybe--more than she ever did in those few months.

She didn't understand human emotions. If she died, would they care? When she died, would anyone mourn her?

The thought of dying terrified her. The thought of living was unbelievable for her. She could only cope by sleeping, but even sleep cursed her.

She couldn't stop herself from mourning. She knew they were alive, well and warm and breathing, but she couldn't let herself stop thinking that if she had another slip-up, made another mistake, another one would die, and it'd be all her fault.

Maybe that's why she mourned for a living person. Mourning for someone before they were actually dead felt better than the reality that crashed upon you once they finally closed their eyes.

She didn't want to hurt once the time came.

[lee1504]

May i say Tyden...

[lee1504]

putting you in the inside chest pocket of my jacket next to my mints

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from a breath before the fall

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its luka thursday

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cuddles <3

[lee1504]

ok, you've waited long enough 🫣

(This is probably the first time I draw a kiss?? -I tried-)

[lee1504]

I love their onigashima fits

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better quality 😭😭

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Who do Ben and Aiden look like children of divorce in this panel

[lee1504]

NOOOOIOOOIOOOOOO I NEED MY PHONE TO LIVEEEEEEEE

rainbow dash my pookie wookie <3

open tags :DDD

Let’s play a game

Everyone post the most recent picture in your camera roll. You only get one sentence to justify yourself if you wish. This one is mine.

My boyfriend is rly good at Latin, so I was looking up how to say ‘I love you’ but found this instead :)

Your turn!

@bookmovietvworm

@myfairkatiecat

@i-am-a-fish

@valtsv

[lee1504]

"types of torture weapons from the 1600s that are still legal today"

hey i'm a writer too trusttt

open tags :DDD

last google search, go

um. Tag four people.

what do they make sewer tunnels out of

@ncc1701ohno @affixjoy @the-magpieprince @twinkboimler

[lee1504]

meme from twitter

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GASP

ME TOO

checking that one moot's nlog because seeing them online makes me super happy /gen