#bc i'm saving for some new ones :)
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THE BEST OF PRIORITY: SUR'KESH
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Wrex With: Lt. Steve Cortez, Dr. Mordin Solus, Major Kirrahe, and Urdnot Bakara And a Special Guest Appearance by: Adm. Steven Hackett Alliance R&D has officially begun construction on the Prothean device. The team has dubbed it: "Project Crucible". We're throwing everybody who knows how to throw a hammer at it. This is gonna be the most ambitious undertaking in human history. I'm not saying it won't be a challenge- but we can do this, Shepard. You can do this. Never doubt that. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
+BONUS (the smirk™️)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#urdnot wrex#steve cortez#mordin solus#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i feel like i probably should have split the actually sur'kesh set in half like i did with mars#but i got lazy after i split out the normandy summit gifs and i wanted to keep the rest of the mission together lol#wrex having small conversation moments with james and EDI was everything to me#bc with both of them it felt like wrex passing on some of his old kid on the block knowledge to the new kids on the block and i just 🥺#like i didn't get it in the gif but the second part of that convo with james he says something like#'you're one of shep's new recruits? hang on kid- it's a hell of a ride!' and when i tell you i SOBBED#like the entire first half of this playthrough is soph taking her newer squadmates out to help her build the army for the reaper war#so running into all these old friends/teammates and hearing them share their wisdom with james and EDI as new recruits is everything to me!#also EDI and james look very cute in their armor (ESPECIALLY EDI IN HER HUNTER HOOD I LOVE HER YOUR HONOR)#i'm just gonna say wrex's little tongue out at the salarians in the background of padok's gif sent me so hard i had to include it LMAO#and i'd write something about the mordin cameo but the mordin cameo on tuchanka is better so i'll save my thoughts for that one#ig thanks for being wrex's inside man mordin you were real for that one#the real salarian homie of this mission was kirrahe and i love him (he's my favorite and i adore him thank you for coming to my TEDtalk) :)#and i will also say that i adore bakara and she's the highlight of this mission for me bc of the lines but also like???#her grabbing the shotgun from wrex to take out the cerberus troops is everything and his expression afterwards is *chef's kiss*#and SOPH'S LITTLE SMIRK LMAOOOOOOO i had to include it bc i saw it in the back and it sent me to the next dimension lol#and since i just use the tags to share all my annoying little thoughts on a final note:#i included the elevator bomb scene bc in soph's canon she gets injured during it for the shenko angst pre-coup bc i'm an angsty bitch :)
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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Okay svsss fandom give me your thoughts
So i was thinking about that scene where sqq jokingly asks the system if it ever worked with the harry potter franchise before and got inspired to write a harry potter au for svsss. The characters that would be involved are bingqiu and moshang but i can't figure out what Hogwarts house they would be in so do tell me your ideas.
How the story would go?
Basically the system malfunctions and suddenly transmigrated the 4 of them into the Harry Potter world. They can only escape if they help protect Harry and figure out who's the evil person trying to kill him (it's going to be centered in book 1). The problem? None of them knows about Harry Potter and so they're in a panic trying to solve who the evil person is without realizing Harry practically could not be killed because of the prophecy.
#svsss#bingqiu#moshang#harry Potter au#does this makes sense? i hope it does#will i be able to finish it fast? probably not seeing as i have 2 other wips that are still uh in progress#but i want to write them panicking in Hogwarts so bad#binghe and mobei would be the confused ones like what just happened??? what is this system???#while qinghua and qingqiu are losing their mind yelling at the system#cue a very confused binghe going 'shizun? what just happened? do yk what this system is???'#cue mobei just staring at qinghua hard bcs he can see that qinghua seems to know what the system is and wants explanation#cue cumplane panicking about two things#1) how tf are they gonna figure out and save the kid by the end of the school term#2) how tf are they gonna explain to lbh and mbj about the system without outing themselves#they won't be part of the first years there#I'm gonna make them get isekai'd into some random made up senior students bcs i think it would be funnier#bcs then we also see them trying to figure out how to fit in their new character#also cue a confused lbh and mbj questioning the language that they're hearing for the first time#but for some reason understand it#does lbh stop calling sqq shizun? no and it complicates matters for sqq to explain to ppl who thought it was his nickname and calls him that#would sqq and sqh ever read harry potter? idk tbh but i think of them as someone who mainly reads only webnovels here so take that
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i have a star wars fic idea floating around my brain that is just a time travel fic centering around bodhi rook where part of the explanation for a suddenly-force-sensitive-bodhi is "the monster tore parts of me out and maybe that made more space for the force to fill in the gaps"
#fic ideas#star wars#rogue one#bodhi rook#mark this down for fics i'll likely never write#mostly bc the star wars fandom a) intimidates the fuck out of me#and b) i'm not even that big of a star wars fan??#i'm a casual fan at best#i do love a good time travel fic though#vague premise is bodhi waking up in the past and being like ??????? i think i have to warn the jedi and maybe save the galaxy idk#and just being an anxious mess about it the entire time#and maybe running into clone wars era obi-wan or anakin idk#wanting to melt into the ground and give up the entire time but keeping going on sheer momentum at this point#why am i thinking about rogue one again#something about bodhi's character just lives rent free in my brain u know#like doing the right thing and helping and being punished for it by torture AND losing your entire people/city#and gritting your teeth and continuing to do the right thing#what higher cost can you even pay?#you've already lost yourself. you've already lost your home. what are you fighting for?#your people? you already lose them. but here's some new ones and you follow them knowing you're going to lose them too#nothing is left but to try and help a bunch of strangers you have no tie to#to try give their story a happier ending than your own#idk just like. he's a wet cat of a character but there's a steel core to it as well y'know??#just tickles me
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pascale with and without her armor :)
#also pre-gene change#bc i'm saving for some new ones :)#i didn't really like her at first bc her colors but they've grown on me and the gene change is gonna look so so so cool#flight rising#zip plays fr#<- new hyperfixation rip to everyone who followed me for anything else lmao
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Sable pic spam bc I'm ridiculously attached to this buggy game
#never encountered this many bugs in one place before but fuck if it doesn't make it more delightful at times#personally I think Sable and teen Aloy would get along quite well even if they had entirely different experiences growing up#actually give me canon age Sable with kid Loy meeting Guard Eliisabet#yes I'm delusional why do you ask#lou plays#Sable#Sable game#fishing msy or may not be broken for me at this point rip. the last three times I tried my game just quit reacting to inputs#couldn't even enter the menu to quit out properly#and between when I saved yesterday after playing and starting up again today it just yeeted the last bit of progress#still not sure what all I lost and if I've managed to get it all back. not sure what will happen next time I play either#if I keep losing progress it may just ruin the fun a little even if I have managed to get almost all the trophies by now#anyway. 100/10 from me even if it's borderline unplayable sometimes. the rest of the time I love it to the ends of the earth#music is great. npcs are wonderful. story and lore are dope. protagonist is a relatable kiddo who you can't help but adore#(and relate to) and the hoverbike is my new child who I will cherish forever#also: the art. but that probably goes without saying. unless you don't like this style in which case I feel bad for you#bc you're missing out#but yeah. don't play unless you don't mind bugs fucking up your progress or geometry and textures going wrong at times#still think they should be working on fixing that mess but alas.. I doubt we'll get any updates of that sort#sometimes if you play too long the audio just.. leaves. as do the pick up / dialogue prompts#sometimes they don't show up even if you have only been playing a little while#some plants have dialogue prompts except they don't do anything. the bucket side quest or whatever got scrapped#but the buckets all still have pickup prompts... anyway. it's a mess. but a lovable one
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the comments on my fics are some of the only things holding me together rn
#grammar? i hardly know her#The Author Of This Text Post Has Chosen Not To Use Archive Warnings#i still have my kidney stone i am suffering from the side effects of the flowmax i was prescribed i am sick bc my sister coughed in my#face last week when i was bathing her my period just started i am jobless and i'm on the last crumbs of my savings which are currently bein#eaten by medical bills i likely have to move the rent is being increased by $300 bc the landlord is a pos both sides of my family are strug#and i'm anxious about other family/health stuff and my friend is having a Really bad time and there's nothing i can do to help them and#i'll stop there i've already overshared enough#negative /#complaining /#period mention /#tmi /#fuck if i move out of state what am i gonna do about my credits i was gonna try and take the last few courses to finish my degree#....................#the reason i didn't do it this year was bc i couldn't afford it hahfhdshcfdfggfbfggffg...........#rip i guess haha ..................#i have some appointments w new drs next month and i hope i can pay the copay at each of them. it's literally $4....... yet i........#and i need to see some other ones too bc there r too many things wrong w me apparently. cool#life isn't that great rn but i will figure it out eventually#or maybe i won't#whatever i guess#opening the fic comments again i need to feel soemthign that isn't shitty feelings#scarlett.txt
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with my new insurance, it's official: buying my narcolepsy meds from india on the gray market with bitcoin would be cheaper than getting them from the pharmacy with insurance. woooo america love u private healthcare yeaahhhh babey USA USA USA
#the little pharmacy tag says “your insurance saved you $1799.00 for this one month supply!” no the fuck it didn't#someone somewhere made up fake dollars in monopoly money. that never existed. those just aren't real#i am paying a few extra dollars per month to Not do bitcoin purchases as my A plan and i guess to pay towards my deductible#I'm good for the money I'm not struggling to cough it up or anything I'm just. hgrgehjasbbdbakkanskalamfnanakdkdla.#first time getting Extremely Necessary for Functioning meds on the new insurance and I'm grumbling#i know how much they cost!!! it's not that!! and i know that bc insurance is always delaying things and i have to get it from overseas#like last year when they had over 180 days' accumulated delay in filling things and I ran through my entire stockpile and then some#how do you fuck up HALF THE YEAR in pieces like that???#grumbling#don't know how to redirect this into a useful emotion
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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bought a wholeass cabinet for my tarot decks and books :^)
#gonna restain it and add finish sometime soon bc the stain is ugly and it's unfinished but i can finally get rid of that uglyass plastic#tote i filled. also gotta add some wood to one of the tracks & maybe add another shelf to the left 4 more deck space but it works for now!#i have SO much i need to do to my room this year. painting getting rid of some furniture buying curtains getting a new comforter finishing#the drywall on the part that needed removed and more. my bank acct is fine but i need to save for classes so i'm gonna have to live with#the paint color that i absolutely despise for a while now :^( i can at least buy some nice faux poppies for that vase on the cabinet in the#meantime ig#len's cardslinging adventures#not technically deck related but this gives you an idea of my collection size. i'm hopefully never gonna go over ~40 decks bc i do NOT#wanna figure out more storage space for my tarot oracle and playing cards. i also can't imagine using that many decks ever lmao#len speaks
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just got the devastating news that we're being forced to go back to work 50% of the time in office next month, and likely by this time next year it will be at 100% all so we can "get back enjoying the things we did pre-covid, like meaningful in-person engagement!" due to "how well our nation handled covid!" as if it's literally not still killing and disabling people on the daily.
#so NOW not only has my car insurance gone up#but my rent went up by a lot#and now i'm going to have to pay $50 a week to park................................#of course i get this news days after i renewed my lease so i can't even go out to try to find a place maybe closer to work#or just downsize so i can try to save SOME money#hhhhhhhhhh can't catch a fucking break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i framed my getting back into running routine around my one in office day and!!!!!!!!!!!! now!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don't know!!!!!!!!!#might even have to quit therapy bc i don't think i'll be able to get in at the times i need and!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it here#WHEN are we going to get the class consciousness needed to get rid of capitalism#negative
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i hate how ppl use are you feminist? as a question whose response means something™ like idk man i support human rights and that's it. are women humans? then great i support their rights as i do all other human beings. i think it's more of a red flag when people start hard and fast emphasizing their support of a specific branch of human rights and not the whole of human rights if that makes sense. that's why you get people who support queer rights but think anti-queer palestinians should die. the only question should ever be do your support human rights? you can argue back and forth about who gets to use the label woman but you can't argue about whether any human being is a human and since they are a human they deserve to have their humans rights respected and fulfilled. it's not to say that identifying as a supporter of a specific minority group is outright wrong and specific groups help to emphasize the specific needs that are still withheld from that group which is important and necessary. but acting as if there's some like higher merit in someone specifying i'm an x rights activist as opposed to saying i'm a human rights activist makes no sense to me personally.
#vagueblogging#rant#ignore me#idk it's like ppl immediately associate someone saying oh i'm a feminist oh i'm a disabled rights activist etc etc#with someone being a 'good person'™#and it's like yh i get that#you can't save the world#it's easiest to focus on one group for your activism and volunteerism etc#but like beyond tht i want to know if you support human rights#which is a simple yes or no question#like idk#i feel like there shld be more emphasis when someone is not a human rights supporter but a only supports specific grps#there shld be news articles dropping headlined like x known philanthropist who champions for children's rights is however not a human's#right supporter bc they believe all x ppl shld die#like idk myb i'm naive but i feel like if we were more commonly faced with the term humans rights myb some ppl might let down their hate#like it's easy to say as someone who's cis i hate trans ppl ok great so you hate humans n dont support human rights? no i hate trans ppl#well trans ppl are humans so do you hate humans and think humans dont deserve human rights? if yes then great you no longer hv human rights#sigh#whatever#i hate this baka world grrrrr
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He Did Not Fucking Say That. his whole deal is that he Doesn't Fucking Talk
#(posted by 2 separate blogs btw)#there's no instance of this quote anywhere that isn't from a recent post by a 'egl aes blog' save for someone's instagram caption from oct.#if mana did decide to speak at last it wouldn't be in english so if it was translated then why would the translator have left it broken#neither of the accompanying pictures are from even remotely similar sources#if mana ever did decide to break his vow of silence it'd be big news i'd have heard about#and the use of the word 'girls' as the only ones he's addressing is weird bc he also has gothic & lolita as his style/way of life and is#Notably Not A Girl#your honor if i'm wrong and this is some obscure mana quote that's just been dug up recently then tell me but with the evidence i've seen#today i'm inclined to believe that the egl aes girlies are Lying#romeo.txt
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don't perceive me too well bc i fear i'm sleep-deprived and trying to boot up my brain, but i'm once again asking: are interest checkers helpful? as my muse list keeps on growing, i keep on wondering what ways i can make it easier for people to interact bc i know if i struggle to decide on what muse to use at times, then some of y'all must struggle to choose a muse, too.
gonna be honest -- my memory's horrible, especially with things that are out of sight and out of mind, but at the very least, an interest checker is a low-pressure way to get us both on the same page. i just probably won't promise starters/asks for completing it this time around bc there's gonna be times when i forget to check it for ages :' ) and the interest checker will not be a requirement for interactions if i make it! it's simply gonna be a tool for y'all to use.
#i also really really need to edit my muse list again to drop some of my dorks#some of them i hate to drop but at the same time? i hardly touch them bc my focus is heavily on my primary muses#and my kny muses are so so quiet save for my oc's bc i can always wake them up -- including kaigaku bc lad's practically my oc atp#don't wanna drop my canons but i also know my heart's just not in it with them rn which is no one's fault really#interests come and go which is why i've moved away from fandom muses and towards fandomless with fandom verses#i still have such fondness for kny -- i had a great time in the rpc! but i'm realizing in general that i really prefer being in#an rpc with people who also write oc's/multimuses bc i feel more at ease honestly#anyway i'm letting this get away from me and rambling asdfg nothing new ofc :' )#might make a poll later about the interest checker bc it sometimes seems like people are more comfy with voting#for now i'm gonna finish my coffee and try to will myself to get ready for work uvu#get ready to ramble | ooc
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writober | day 02
greatest fear
at this point in time, i think cyrillo's greatest fear is failure. not only is he responsible for the vampires in his home, he's also responsible for?? all vampires, in a sense. he's their voice, their protector -- they would not be treated as regular citizens were it not for him. he's grown used to the weight that comes with being someone so important to his people, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't fear what could happen if he ever failed them.
this fear has always been present, though. cyrillo feared failing as a father, failing his country, and failing to protect his family. but he never gave into it and rather used it to motivate himself, to strive for the best possible outcome, to come up with clever plans. he is stronger than his fear because he must be, because he can't stomach the alternative.
i do think most people perceive cyrillo as fearless because of how relaxed and confident he appears, and i don't think they would ever guess that he fears failure. most things seem so natural to him, but that's because!! he's been around for ages!! cyrillo isn't perfect, so pls know that he absolutely has his fears and a bunch of scenarios running through his mind when he isn't actively focused on something else.
#hmm maybe i'll try to write something for a different muse each day? maybe#we'll see bc it's more likely that i'll write something for whoever wakes up when i read the prompt uvu#this is probably the last one of the night bc it's getting late and i'm exhausted oof#maybe i'll work on some of the n.s.f.w. ones tomorrow uvu#headcanons | cyrillo#y'all i wanna yell bc tumblr will not save any of my new tags like :( please stop making me write out the tag every time#it's not a big deal but when it's my dorverold tag i hate it bc i gotta copy and paste the tag thanks to the accent marks :(((
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