#bc i think he could think he wanted to be detached enough to just have sex and that's it
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willowser-but-nsfw · 2 years ago
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i feel like bakugou only does fwb because mina tries to explain to his wound up ass that sometimes adults just have consensual sex for the fun of it.
like maybe it starts as an accident, or unplanned; somehow, she managed to get two mixed drinks in him — which is two drinks too many — and you're all at denki's birthday party and he's having a little more fun than he's willing to ever admit, and you're there, some friend of jirou's, and before he knows it, his face is flushed and he's staring at you a little too obviously from across the room.
you're pretty, that's all. and even though he's got this big dumb scar on his face and hands and chest and shoulders and — you're looking at him, too. making a face at him when something funny happens, eyes wide, lips curled into some amused smile; mouthing things to him, like he's wasted when denki falls and brings the curtains down with him. you're interacting but not, and did he really expect mina not to notice ???
"you should go talk to her!"
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bakugou's reaction is a little slow, but just as intense; eyebrows furrowed, teeth grit, nostrils flared, as if she just suggested he kill his own grandma or something. "stay the hell outta my business."
unphased, she grabs one of his shoulders, fingernails diggiing in when he tries to shake her off. "c'mon, she's cute! and you two have been making googly eyes at each other all night!"
and — okay, he doesn't say anything to that, even though he definitely has not been making fucking googly eyes at you. it just takes him by surprise a little, that's all, that she thinks you've been making googly eyes at him. whatever that means. but the alcohol has set in enough that he's a little too transparent, a little too quick to bare his insecurities.
unthinking, he swivels his head back to stare at you, how you're smiling and chatting with some girl you came with, sticking your tongue out at him when you notice him looking, before he's swiveling to face back at mina again.
"the fuck am i supposed to say? i don't ever—" chat up strangers, he means, because — he never knows what the fuck to say. and it seems like a waste of time, usually, because he's got to reveal himself little by little and hope the other person doesn't run off crying because he hurt their feelings or something.
he's busy. hell, mina knows that better than anyone because her schedule isn't any looser than his, so it's not like he's really got time to date right now, and even if he did, he wouldn't have the time to devote to it that he probably should. it's why he's avoided it this long, and he makes a habit of steering clear of this subject with everyone, especially her, because she's always saying things like—
"you seriously need to get laid, blasty! maybe some of the pressure will release from your big head!"
and then he's attracting too much attention by trying to blast her to smithereens; something about alcohol makes him fourteen again, too quick to whip out the die!'s and sparking palms.
it also throws off his balance a little, because he doesn't really want to turn her to dust and so he's not fighting as hard and she's almost got him in a headlock when you walk up, laughing at how much they resemble clumsy, overgrown children.
as soon as mina sees you, she's up on her feet and saying, "he's totally clean, practically a virgin!" before he can actually, really, truly end her young life. and you laugh some more when his face goes beet red and he means to insist that that's not true — it is — but you sit too close beside him on the couch and it's like he's taken a large sip of one of mina's too-strong drinks all over again.
"you know," you start, crossing one leg over another so that it's brushing against his knee. "you're a lot funnier than i thought you'd be."
and bakugou has zero game sober, so he says, "...well...you dunno shit about me, so..."
"no, i guess i don't," you snort, leaning a little further into him, grin widening when his cheeks darken at your proximity. "but i'd like to learn."
no. he's not gonna tell anyone that you fucked in sparkplug's guestroom. zero. nobody. taking it to the grave, because he's really not that kind of guy. and there's already this out of control rumor about him in the media that he's some sado-masochist hard dom and he's not really trying to fuel that fire.
okay, he doesn't tell anyone except mina, because she's the one that got him into the whole thing in the first place.
"it's really not a big deal, kats." she says it to him over breakfast in her overdecorated, over-pink kitchen, smirking at him from across the bar counter where he's chugging some green drink she concocted. "people hook up with strangers all the time."
"well, i fuckin' don't." he grumbles, frowning at the heart pattern on her dinner plates. the too-large glasses she's given him to block out the sun aren't helping. more for show than anything, he thinks.
"not like i want to know all the raunchy details but," —she and bakugou share a grimace at the thought— "didn't you have at least a little bit of fun?"
okay, he did.
you're — carefree, in the sense that nothing was too serious, too awkward. this isn't something bakugou does on the regular so it maybe might have been a while, but — you were fine with that. didn't mind at all, seemed to be just as content sitting naked on top of him, tracing the ugly lines over his chest and across his shoulders and at his hip and —
he also learned his refractory period is about 12 minutes. and that yours is about 45 seconds.
yeah, he can admit that he had a decent time with you, but the problem isn't that he hooked up with some stranger.
the problem is that he kinda liked watching you through hazy eyes as you walked your fingers up his chest, fiddling with his ear and pushing his hair up off his forehead. that he kinda liked pulling your legs up around his hips because you fit together a little better than he expected. that he didn't know you would feel so good or sound so sweet underneath him.
the problem is that sex makes him vulnerable and that's the real reason he avoids it so much. the problem is that he doesn't really want to hook up with strangers.
the problem is that now he just wants you.
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brucewaynehater101 · 2 months ago
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I need you to stop me from making another Tim Drake centric fic
I got this random idea that won’t leave me alone
like what if the emotional scars and trauma people have show up physically too most commonly as little cracks on the skin and all of the bats have them
they hide them tho with make up and stuff so people don’t question it except Tim hides them from everyone maybe bc that’s what his parents taught him to do maybe bc he just doesn’t want to burden any of the bats
the bats think that Tim is fine so to them he’s invincible which leads them to treat him as such subconsciously or otherwise especially Bruce
it takes a lot for something to be bad enough that they physically manifest and Tim has A LOT bc everyone thinks he’s invincible
:) it won’t leave me alone help me I beg of you
Hmm.... Let's add on, shall we? This is a very rad idea. You should definitely write a fic about it, but no pressure.
Mind if I explore it? Also, feel free to disregard any part below you don't want/disagree with. This is just brainstorming ^^
Alright. Emotional scars are a physical mark on someone's skin.
Similar to regular scars, they can fade as a person heals.
Some may never disappear, and some only appear for a short time.
What would their color be?
Would they look like actual cracks in a person (so black-ish in color)? Would they be gold or multi-colored (different colors represent different kinds of emotional traumas)?
The level of hurt inflicted is directly proportional to the size (length and width) of the scar.
Perhaps more could be deduced from the general shape (is it jagged? A single line? Branching?)
Not all people have these marks
Most of the population manifests them. There's some prejudice against folk who don't [something something they are heartless, incapable of feelings, not able to be emotionally hurt, cold, detached, etc.], but hiding scars is also common. Therefore, it's harder to discern whether someone is hiding their marks or markless. It's a very fine line, so most people allow a smaller mark to show every once in a while. There's even a few trends to proudly display all marks.
Marks appear at the time of the emotional harm
It may not be apparent at the time due to the location, but the individual being hurt will manifest the mark at the very moment of emotional harm.
Anyways, that's the background stuff. Fun, but let's get into Tim specifically ^^
Tim's parents are part of the few who believe that showing off your scars to anyone, even your loved ones, is both a weakness and a way to guilt-trip people. Therefore, through their archeology studies, they managed to obtain magical objects to prevent the showing of emotional marks. It's similar to glamor.
Tim's object can change forms to suit his needs (so a ring at one moment and an earring the next). This ability prevents the Bats from discovering it.
Janet fakes a very small mark on her hand when she wants to discourage any rumors that's she's incapable of manifesting marks. For Tim, though, his parents wanted him to have rumors of being incapable of forming marks. It served their purpose better for him being the cunning Drake heir.
The deception started from birth, so no one but the Drakes know of Tim's ability to form marks [and the Drake parents never see the marks they leave behind on their child].
The Waynes, long before Tim entered their life, were aware of these rumors. Thus, when Tim demands to become Robin, he doesn't correct their assumptions.
Bruce is a callous fucker to Tim at the start. If Tim can't be hurt emotionally, then Bruce's ill-treatment of him is fine (which is flawed logic. The markless can be emotionally hurt, and they still deserve kindness, dignity, and respect even if they couldn't. Bruce was mentally fucked up, but it doesn't excuse his treatment).
Eventually, Bruce comes to the second realization that Tim should still be treated well even if it doesn't hurt him regardless. The man's behavior is better, but he still has the notion in mind that Tim can't be emotionally hurt. He uses this for missions and to downplay the way his other kids treat Tim (specifically Jason and Damian when they first meet Tim).
Tim gets used to a rotation of insult-names: Robot Robin, heartless, markless (said insultingly), cold-blooded, unfeeling bastard, etc.
He's also subject to a TON of misunderstandings. People are more reluctant to love him due to the belief that he can't love them back. He gets yelled at and told off for "masking/faking his emotions" when he's actually being genuine.
Which adds to his hurt :)
He also has to pretend not to grieve his parents when they die :(
Due to how rare markless are, the Bats don't meet "another" one until after the BruceQuest. When they chat with this person, they realize how many misconceptions they have about them (such as the markless being incapable of feelings. In fact, they accidentally offend that person when they tell the other they don't need to fake their emotions in front of the Bats. Safe to say, the markless individual becomes incensed when they realize how they've been treating their own markless family member).
This would be at least four (probably closer to five) years after Tim first became Robin. The entire family has a meltdown.
Tim, on the other hand, is used to the treatment the Bats have been giving him and becomes incredibly uncomfortable with them trying to care for his feelings and whatnot. It's rocky for a long while as everyone tries to seek forgiveness for something Tim bitterly doesn't hold against them (he is lying to them after all).
Tim rarely, if ever, views his own marks. The last time he checked was when he was having his identity crisis after Robin was taken from him. His entire body, from head to toe, had cracks in it. There was a giant, gaping crack on his back for the metaphorical stab in the back it was.
And we haven't even gotten to when the Bats figure out Tim was never markless :)
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jeonqkooks · 1 year ago
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our beloved summer | jjk (7.5) (m.)
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You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.
pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: exes au, fluff, Angst, smut; THE REASON™️, crying because obviously there's gonna be crying, mentions of hobi leaving :(, cursing, uhm she hits him; kissing (well, of course 😂), br*ast play, t*tty s*cking, oral s*x (f. receiving), f*ngering, unprotected s*x, r*ding, cr*ampie, uhm idk i think that's it word count: 6.9k (poetic, i know) note (1): holy fucking shit i am literally shaking like a chihuahua as i'm writing this a/n. what the hell it's finally here. we've been waiting for this for almost a year and a half. TREMENDOUS thanks to Jo @daechwitatamic, Ari @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao), and Jazz @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this for me and for reassuring me that it's not a load of crap (probably) and especially Jo for telling me if i back out she'll come kick me. frick! gaaaah. okay i'm gonna let you read or i'll go out of my mind
series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist
as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
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I want you to smile, to feel like enough 'Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love I hope you come back when you're doing well Forgive me for being the worst of myself
New Recording 28 - Chelsea Cutler
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The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again. 
His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.
Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties. 
You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.
“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”
“Want you…”
“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”
His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.
“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.
“I want you.”
Truth.
You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.
“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”
If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.
He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.
Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.
“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”
“You were drinking.”
“I’m not drunk. I promise.”
Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.
He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.
You haven’t seen him like this in so long.
Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.
He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.
Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.
Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.
“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time. 
“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.
Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.
His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.
“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”
He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.
“What are you doing?”
He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”
You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”
Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.
He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.
“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins. 
“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”
You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come. 
His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily, 
Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.
This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.
No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.
Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.
“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.
He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.
The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”
“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.
He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.
Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.
But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.
“Are you clean?” you ask.
It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.
“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”
He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.
“I’m sure. I promise.”
Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.
“How long has it been?”
Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes. 
“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”
“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.
For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.
Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”
“Give me a minute.”
“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.
“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.
He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.
His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit. 
You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.
“You can move,” you say after a while.
“I’ll go slow, okay?”
“Okay.”
He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly. 
“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”
He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.
You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.
No, this is something else entirely.
I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.
“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”
“Did you think about me?”
“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.
“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”
“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.
You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.
He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.
How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.
“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.
“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”
“Okay.”
Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.
He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.
“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”
“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”
Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.
You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”
The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”
“Mean it.”
“I do mean it. I love you.”
Truth.
For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.
Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.
“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.
You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”
“Where do you want it?”
“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.
But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.
You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.
“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.
“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”
Jungkook groans at your answer. 
He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline. 
He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.
You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so. 
Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.
You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all. 
When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.
He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.
The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.
Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.
“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.
When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.
It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.
Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”
You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.
“Anything.”
You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.
“Tell me you can’t live without me.”
He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”
Truth. You know it’s the truth.
Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”
His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”
The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.
But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.
He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it. 
He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.
It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.
The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.
You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.
“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.
“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”
“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”
“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.
“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”
Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.
He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.
Are you gone forever?
Come back quietly.
“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.
The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.
“What?”
“How old are you?” you repeat.
It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”
"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."
His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.
No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.
“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”
Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.
He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time. 
You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.
There’s more to it, and you need to know.
“Then why did you leave me?”
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Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.
You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.
A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.
Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.
What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.
Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.
He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.
He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.
Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.
When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.
Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?
Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.
It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.
It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.
She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.
“If you love her, you would let her go.”
Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.
He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.
She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.
Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.
The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.
Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.
He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do? 
She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.
That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.
He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.
July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.
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You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”
“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.
You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.
“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I’m sorry.”
His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.
Again with the apologies.
Fuck this.
It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.
You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.
You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.
He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.
“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?
“Y/N, wait-”
“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”
He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”
You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.
“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”
“What?”
“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”
“Y/N, I’m serious.”
There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”
Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.
It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.
“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.” 
He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.
He might bruise in the morning.
You hope he bruises in the morning.
The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.
You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.
But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.
Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.
You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.
This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.
The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.
You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?
“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”
You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.
You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.
“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”
It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.
“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”
“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...
In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.
“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”
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up next...
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our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter
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all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 30, 2023]
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garygoldenbignaturals · 4 days ago
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the telvanni dork i've been talking abt wanting to make. hi this is relmona (relmon) for short and he's quite insufferable. he is so sucks. thing is he's pretty good at being a telvanni for being relatively young (he's 48) so the councilors just told the nerevarine to take him with her for the time being. he's killed two people to advance he's getting a little too ambitious for everyone's sake. he can also get real annoying, and him being out and about gives everyone a bit of momentary peace.
more about his outfit under the cut
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dork wears 3 layers in vvardenfell. i like to think the elevation that comes w being a volcanic island would make vvardenfell cool and i also imagine sadrith mora to be pretty windy as well. he's from necrom and although necrom is placed atop hills and mountains, it probably isn't as breezy as sadrith mora. relmon isn't used to the windiness. also doesn't have a good cold tolerance either.
tried to put several fungi motifs on his outfit, like the curly lettuce hem to be reminiscent of oyster mushrooms, the pants and arm warmers to look like a mushroom's gills, and the sash-thing to have the telvanni symbol-inspired pattern. also the pauldrons are detachable bc i dont want to have to stress about it every time i draw em lol. might even remove it entirely, i just wasn't sure if his outfit looked dunmeri-enough.
his outfit also isn't very utilitarian, those suspender-like ribbons could be tied together to act as a utility belt, but other than that it's a very lounge-y look. comfortable for adventuring, but that's it. which doesn't become a problem for him, still, bc lystor being the person she is happily carries his stuff for him and it barely affects her encumbrance.
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livwritesstuff · 4 months ago
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for @steddie-week day 7 (a day late bc sunday errands got a lil out of control)
this is a sneak peek of an upcoming fic (vibe is slow burn TV co-stars Steddie feat. denial of feelings, a betrayal, and chaotic misuse of social media) and I am Very Excited (that being said pls don't ask about a timeline bc I don't have a clue 😅)
tags: modern day, famous au, actor!steve, actor/singer!eddie, pre-relationship, fake dating (kind of)
The real point of no return in all this, Eddie knows, was the call with PR.
It – as in, having a little fun with the ridiculous dating rumors about him and Steve that had started floating around early on during the press tour for the TV show they'd filmed together last year – was all just a fun little joke until he woke up to a GCal invite in his inbox from the studio’s PR team and ended up on a thirty minute call where a bunch of random suits with fake-ass smiles laughed and said wouldn’t it be funny – wouldn’t it be a goddamn laugh-riot – if you guys played into the rumors? Just for the press tour?
(Just while we can profit off it?)
Yeah. Eddie knows the real motive here but his sense of self-preservation is, like, broken or something (defective at the very least) and he’s always down for a spectacle, so the second he sees Steve nodding his agreement, he agrees too.
It takes less than an hour for PR to send out an updated press schedule, one that now had Eddie paired with Steve at basically every opportunity, which…Eddie feels torn two ways about because, like, it’s an ensemble show. He’d actually really like to do some of this press stuff with Robin and Nancy too. On the other hand, all jokes aside, Eddie does have a pretty pathetic crush on Steve Harrington, so he sort of wants to clock all the hours with him as he can before the show comes out and all this comes to an end, when their paths will separate once again and remain that way probably forever (or until the show gets renewed for a second season, but that’ll be up in the air for a while).
And yes, Eddie sees the irony in the situation. Look – it’s not like he wanted to have a crush on this guy.
Their characters are practically brothers, and Eddie had been on enough sets to know that coming off a project even just being friends with castmates isn’t a walk in the park in and of itself.
Sure, Harrington’s cute – Eddie had noticed it the second they met, but he’d noticed it in kind of a clinical, detached way, like how he could hold an opinion on how good-looking one girl is from the next even if it didn’t do anything for him. He knew that Steve’s a good-looking dude, but more importantly, he’s an honest-to-god good person. Eddie wasn’t even thinking about being anything other than Steve’s friend because he could recognize the kind of privilege that alone is.
So, yeah. No crush on Steve Harrington in sight – not in the beginning, anyway, and not during the entire filming process. Then they started to film all the promo material, and the press tour had kicked off with an eight hour press junket, and after that very first interview (a fifteen minute sit-down with an entertainment talk show), Eddie had turned and asked Steve if he’d fucked up at all (because this is first time on a project big enough to have a real press tour and, seriously, he had no goddamn context for how any of this shit was supposed to go). Steve had just smiled and kicked his ankle and told him he did good and to stop worrying.
And something about that – the little kick to his ankle – had Eddie’s heart turning over like he was part of those trashy romance novels he outright refused to pick up (even though he’d put in a fair bit of time ogling the men on the covers as a horny, closeted teenager).
Oh, fuck, he’d remembered thinking.
Stop it, he’d tried to tell his heart or his brain or whoever else could be responsible for the feelings that were creeping in.
But it was already too late.
It only took a couple hours after the call with PR for Eddie to wonder if he might have made a mistake.
“You sure you’re okay with this?” Eddie asked after scrolling through a thread of comments on a clip of an interview that made its way over to TikTok (the thread started with i’ve never seen steve look at anyone like that before and he stopped scrolling after won’t waste my time watching now with an anxious feeling swirling in his gut).
“Huh?” Steve blinked at him.
“I mean,” he paused, “Not every straight guy would be cool with the whole world thinking there’s something going on between him and his gay coworker.”
And Steve had merely shrugged.
“I really don’t think the whole world is tuning into the press tour for some nerdy doomsday show,” he had replied, and then he’d added, “And whoever said I’m straight?”
As if that hadn’t blown Eddie’s whole goddamn mind.
So…fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen?
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ssparksflyy · 7 months ago
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OMG BELLS REQS ARE OPEN AAAA
literally any kind of Leo x latina reader please cause im just in love with how you write him
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
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leo valdez dating hcs! ✶ ࣪˖࿐ *
pairing: leo valdez x latina!reader warning(s): swearin + gringas this one aint for u pookies ♡♡ a/n: BRO. i had to rewrite this completely twice bcs i kept on forgetting to save it nd it would all delete 😭 also ty girlie ♡
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leo valdez, certified loverboy
his lips gotta be surgically detached from you cause damn
this boy loves kissing u
big big fan of u wearing lipgloss/lipstick cause then it gets on his lips nd leaves him all heart eyes
its like his own lil trophy
nd hey it reminds the other girlies that hes taken !! not available !! go find someone else !!
so u best believe u do it w a SMIRK.
best dance partner to ever dance partner
his hands go all over u girl
but that usual firm grip on ur waist omfg 😵‍💫😵‍💫
also does not gaf if he feels like his legs r about to fall off, if u wanna keep dancing then dance he shall
only other people he would dance w are little kids who ask him to ♡
good asf with kids im afraid
he claims that its because their imaginations are still big, hence making it easier for him to actually enjoy having a conversation with them instead of like ... politics ( hes never had a convo about politics )
he so wouldve loved spending time with family if he had the chance :((
he so becomes besties w ur mama tho ♡♡
( if shes mortal ofc )
they instantly clicked when u introduced them to each other :))
ur mom loves how sweet he is nd how much he cares abt you ♡
you left for a second to go to the restroom nd came back to the comadres looking at baby pics
like ?? u left for 2 seconds ??
wdym hes already getting the family chisme shes just met this man ??
its that leo valdez charm or somethin
cause like if ur dads a mortal he also really likes him 😭
ofc hes gotta pull the whole overprotective dad bit first
but once they get talking he slowly gets more comfortable w him :))
he also appreciates how much he cares nd how he puts u first ♡♡
i feel like mortal parents would just care if they treat u right nd are loyal
or maybe they dont nd actually become stricter
....
who knows anyway back to repair boy
THE roses man
his fav flowers
he thinks it romantic its classy and hey who doesnt love a good red rose
he could spend days making you a bunch of metal flowers nd painting them nd make a bouquet
but he gives u a metal flower everyday !!
so u best believe for special occasions he buys u a big ol ramo of roses nd a cute lil plushie or somethin ♡
v cute v cute v that sould be me
u best believe when u move in together
oh yea. ur future is already planned out together
theres always something bomb for dinner
whether its homemade or ordered in, u eat good every night ♡
"but i cant cook!' dw pooks he can !!
he asked ur parent for ur fav homemade meals nd asked them to teach him how they make it :((
best believe u wake up to breakfast made every weekend
nd ofc all he asks for back is kisses ♡
im tellin u. an addict. cannot get enough. its not normal man
youve got a stash of candies in one of ur cabinets for whenever u crave themmm
constantly gotta restock up tho cause they do NOT last
u guys def talk crap in spanish
i mean obviously , who doesnt
but if u desperately need a gossip sesh but r like surrounded by ppl you whip out the spanish ykyk
sigh, i want a leo valdez ♡♡
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a/n two: hope u enjoyed !! idk if these r kinda short but tbh im so sleepy nd havent had good sleep at all this week so im ending it here, have a good day/night !!
peace from manhattan,
percy jackson ♡
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soft-mafia · 1 year ago
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Meeting Shanks Headcanons [Buggy x Reader]
warnings: fem reader, fluffy crack, Buggy screaming
a/n: ok enough with my shenanigans, here’s some real Buggy content from me since I’ve been slacking and shit posting.
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I’m a firm believer that Buggy would not want Shanks to meet his girlfriend bc he’s convinced he’d take her from him.
It would start off as just a regular morning, Buggy waking up all groggy, stomping up to the deck while scratching his lower back.
He goes up to Cabaji and asks him where Y/n is, usually she’s laying in bed sleeping next to him— she’d always wake up later.
Y/n was a heavy sleeper and no matter how many times Buggy tried to wake her up she wouldn’t budge so he eventually just let her be. But today she wasn’t there.
“Oh yeah, she’s talking to your pal Shanks over there.” The pirate chief of staff said, nodding his head over to Y/n. “Hm?” Buggy grunted lightly as he looked over, “Alright.” At first Cabaji’s words didn’t process in his mind, but before he took a step, he had to double take; his eyes suddenly widened when he saw the red head in particular.
“SHANKS?!” Buggy screamed, all of his parts becoming detached at one time, his floating hands then grabbed Cabaji by the shoulders and began shaking him violently, “HOW DID HE GET ON THE SHIP?! AND WHO THE HELL LET HIM NEAR Y/N?!”
The acrobat felt like he was getting whiplash with the captain shaking him around so much, “He said he was your friend!!”
“WHAT?!” Buggy growled, his parts popped back into place again as he glared back in the direction of Shanks. They were talking.. he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but that damn Shanks was making Y/n laugh. Buggy began to panic.
“Hard to believe that out of the both of us it’s Buggy who managed to bag a girl.” Shanks laughed, “Are you sure you’re not being held hostage?” He joked, making Y/n laugh some more. “Oh no! Buggy is so sweet, you have no idea!” She giggled, “I was actually the one that came up to him first and he- Buggy? AHHH!!” Y/n screamed as Buggy quickly threw a potato sack over her, completely engulfing her in it before throwing it over his shoulder.
He growled and stuck a finger into Shank’s chest, his torso detaching so he could look down at him, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TALKING TO MY GIRL?! You’re trying to steal her from me aren’t you?! Just like you stole my chances at becoming the richest man in the world!!!”
Shanks just laughed at Buggy’s accusations, “Still haven’t changed one bit, huh? Y/n’s a real looker, you’re a lucky guy I’ll tell you that!” Shanks grinned and playfully slapped Buggy on the shoulder.
Y/n was thrashing around in the potato sack, screaming and cursing, “BUGGY WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! LET ME OUT, IT FUCKING STINKS IN HERE!!”
Buggy snarled at Shanks, “Don’t play that game with me, I know what you’re trying to do!! Don’t think for a second I’ll let you anywhere near Y/n!!”
Y/n finally found a way to bust out of the sack, she then growled and grabbed Buggy’s floating torso, turning it to face her so she could yell in his face, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” She yelled. “WHY THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING TO SHANKS?!” Buggy growled back at her.
“AM I NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO PEOPLE ANYMORE?! You’re acting like I sucked his dick or something!!” Y/n shouted.
“OH SO YOU WANNA SUCK HIS DICK NOW?!”
“THATS NOT WHAT I SAID, BUGGY, AND YOU KNOW IT!!” Y/n and Buggy’s foreheads were pressed together as they bickered at each other.
Shanks just ran a hand through his hair and snickered, “C’mon Buggy, I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.. Why don’t we have a few drinks and we can catch up?”
Y/n and Shanks agree on the drinks, but Buggy is still grumbling and wary of Shanks’ intentions with his girl.
However, once Buggy is drunk enough, he loosens up, sitting on his throne with Y/n on his lap, Shanks sitting in a chair across from them with a table loaded with food right in the middle.
The two men reminisce about their adventures from the past(Buggy obviously exaggerating some parts to impress Y/n, insert Shanks butting in to correct Buggy and embarrass him.)
As it gets late, Buggy drunkenly let Shanks rest on the ship until morning.
However, as soon as Buggy got over his hangover and found Shanks still on the Big Top(no memory of him letting Shanks stay here), he immediately kicked him off and told him to never come back.
“And stay away from my girl while you’re at it!!!”
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tmwcs · 1 year ago
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ↀOUBLE IIROUBLE - CHAPTER SIX
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Sorry for the slight delay, but here is chapter six. I had to cut it short bc i'm currently babysitting but i wanted to get it to you guys. but dont worry, next chapter will have all the parts that i didnt get to finish in this one plus.....it will be Heejeong's turn ;)
Warnings: Smut....this entire chapter is just pretty much....pure smut. it goes back and forth between consensual and non-con....and it's pretty descriptive. breeding kink, HS being dominant, relentless, and yeah....unprotected sex.....umm...i think thats it. aside the fact that its intercourse between step siblings.
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“H-Heeseung! Ah!”
………………….
Restrained by the grasping hold Heeseung held onto, your wrists suffered the sharpened sensation of his fingers and palms pinning them against the wall. 
You had tried your best to struggle free, even getting as far as detaching yourself from him for a brief moment before he extended his reach and caught you once more. 
“Noooooo…..come here baby….you feel so soft….touching you like this is all that’s been on my mind…”
“Stop….Heeseung stop….this…this is wrong…we can’t!”
“Oh yes we can….watch me.”
“Heeseung!”
.................
Now here you were, backed up against the wall, and the width of his enlarged frame trapping you in.
Your own step-brother…..
..................
"Upon meeting the notorious Blackbeard, his face sly with a deceiving look…
His eyes grasped on to the maiden like a fisherman’s hook.
Yet all is said and done, the man has tricked mother, father, son, and friends.
His secret will be known, a closet that reveals his darkest trends…."
……………..
Sitting you on the edge of the thin console table, his chest pushes you back, causing your shoulder blades to meet with the cool wall.
The way he propped you on the table gave him the upperhand to focus more in melting into your body as he only needed to minimally support both your weight, which allowed him to focus on getting you to surrender... 
His tux became loose as his jacket slid off his shoulders, the buttons on his collard shirt came undone, and his bow tie unraveling; his hands loop under your thighs, making you further lean back against the surface of the wall, with only the table bearing the density of your weight.
Standing and leaned forward into you, he positions himself in between your legs, loving the fact that he had you falling apart for him. 
You turned your face away, as much as you felt shameful, knowing this whole ordeal was wrong….it felt so right….it felt so good. Yet you couldn't find yourself brave enough to face him straight on; he was, after all, your stepbrother.
“Ugh…Heeseeeeeeung.”
Sucking on your neck, the squeezing sound of his lips suckling onto your skin was his only response, up until he pulls away, releasing the suction of his mouth that latched on to your soft neck. 
“Yeah baby…..” gasping a deep groan against your ear, you felt his hand reach down, snaking itself into the opening of his trousers and feeding his length out. It was long, thick, and stiff…..it was exactly what you wanted at this moment since he had you emotionally and physically dislocated. 
He didn’t immediately penetrate you, in fact, he took great pleasure in toying with you first, his own manner of performing four play. 
With his tip, he drifts it along the lining of your slit and probed your opening, all the while he slowly…..sloooooooowly licked your neck from the base to the edge of your jawline. 
“Ugh! Please!!”
“Yeah….just like that baby…..get wet for me.” 
Noticing the heat and moisture rising in between your legs, he harshly taps his lengthy cock against your clit, slapping it repeatedly and enhancing the sensitivity of each tap. 
How could he do this to you? Going against your wishes to cause a stir of raging, euphoric turmoil to take place in your gut, only to tease you…
“Please…” you whimpered. You nearly were begging at this point as your words ended in broken gasps while you softly sobbed. It was so painful. 
The tingling numbness was too much, your hips were gyrating fiercely as your thighs shook with an uncontrollable urge to wrap around his waist. Your clit and opening was pulsating, you found yourself wanting it to be filled and stuffed with every inch of him. At this point, you needed it. 
Hyperventilating, your chest rises in an up and down motion as you tried to steady your breathing, yet it was nearly impossible. The numbness in the depths of your core became stronger, you could feel the heated moisture of your body’s lubricant oozing out as you clenched your opening, trying to prevent it all from gushing out. 
Grabbing onto your arms, he pins them to your side as he slightly lifts, and adjusts your position to where your rear practically hung off the edge of the table. The back of your head and your shoulder blades remain plastered on the wall, sliding downwards as you felt him pulling you to the edge, right up against his groin. 
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With your legs held taut, he centers himself to your opening, poking you with his tip as he scoffs out a sly smirk while bearing teeth.
"A little sensitive, are we?” Biting down on his bottom lip, he admits a dark chuckle while he feels you slightly jump from the shocking sensation of his probing offense.
"Pl-please....." you whined out. Initially, you may have had wanted him to stop, yet now, all you yearned for was him to be inside you.
"Come here baby......" his hands loop around your thigh in an overhead position, pulling you towards him, causing you to further slide down as your rear hangs over the edge of the table completely, your hair decorating the wall as the strands lay sporadically against it.
Propping yourself, you rest against your palms as you flatten them on the surface of the table, forcing the weight of your body to remain on stilted foundation, shifting your weight back and forth between each hand.
His thumb rubs your clit in small, circular motions as he commits tiny hip thrusts, teasing your entry with his tip as it remains in contact, yet is refrained from fully entering.
"Please....what are you doing?......." you begged as you felt your head move upwards in a small, slightly pouncing manner upon feeling him pressing against you, only to be pulled back and snapping back against the center of your slit once more.
"Shhhh.....its okay baby relax......relaaaaaaaaax......relax for big brother Heeseung." he whispers, all the while he rests his forehead against yours as he focuses his sight down on to your exposed breasts, and your clit, which he continued to rub with the padding of his thumb.
Succumbing to the edge of his teasing notion, you felt your entire body shake with a vibration that was so intense, it was unlike anything you've ever experienced. Your breathing became uncontrolled, and the moment it hitched, thats when you felt the ooze of the sweet, warm, and gushing liquid exiting from your cavity, leaking in between the folds and meeting with his skin. Feeling it drip out with his tip, he releases a prolonged sigh upon sensing the warmth of the moisture that was releasing out, kissing his tip as he rubs it up and down in between your swollen lips.
"Uuuuuh huuuuh.....you ready for me?"
"Y-yes...."
"You sure?"
"Yes...." you pleaded. Your voice releases an airy crack as you found yourself sobbing yet again from the amount of relentless pressure, numbness, and the unbearable tingle that punched your gut as each second went by. You needed to be filled, you needed him.
"Uuuuugh....please.......please....do....do something....do everything.....i just....."
"Just what?" he demanded as he continued to rub your clit, all the while staring down with an aloof expression. The tone of his voice grew stern. Whispering with a firm and solid tone, he repeats once more. "Just what?...."
"I just......ugh......I need you....." you bit down on your tongue as you finally admitted defeat. You couldn't help it, it was all his fault for bringing you at the stage you were now in, although you sensed that he looked at it from a different perspective.
He blamed you. He felt it was your fault, for merely existing....for breathing....for being yourself.....for being so beautiful and always speaking in that seducing voice that was so feminine in nature. The way he saw it, everything was your fault and he loved it. You sensed it...you knew it deep down, now that it became obvious that he was yearning for you the entire time since meeting you.
"Awww....you need me baby? Hmm?"
"Y-yes......"
"Say it again, then."
"I....I need you...."
"Yeeeeeeeeaaah.....you do." he whispers into your ear, before he places a soft kiss right on your cheek, keeping his lips in place as he rubbed his thumb in soft, circular motions against your lower back. It was so tender and romantic, it nearly caught you off guard.....until you felt the stretch of his entry.
Jolting violently, you nearly jumped off the table had it not been his firm hold in keeping you steady. With one hand looping around your lower back, and the other plastered on your inner thigh, pushing it aside, forcing you to remain fully exposed and vulnerable, his stiff muscle needed no guidance as he begins to shove himself in.
"Ugh! Ah! H-Heeseung..." you began whimpering out, continuously jolting upwards, trying to evade his entry as the feeling of being opened felt more painful than pleasurable.
Naturally, since it had been quite a while since you last had intercourse, spending all your time in college focusing on your studies, merely using a simple vibrator to get by on your urges and needs, the last time you recalled having sex was well before you started attending your university, and was graduating high school.
Yet the feeling of being breached, from when you dated someone from a different school, or even back when you had your first, well before your senior year, when you had a steady boyfriend who shared the same class, the feeling felt nothing as it had right now, with Heeseung.
The way he was built, he was more bold, hard, and strong. Everything about him was ten times more intense than the average man, which would explain why you were feeling the immense sting. What propelled you to fear more, was the fact that he hadn't even fit himself in yet, not even the tip.
"It hurts! It hurts! Please! Please stop....." You winced your eyes shut and gasped out in deep breaths, feeling your breasts rise from the inhales and pressing up against his hard chest plate.
Again, you shifted your hips upwards and away, trying to avoid him entering, yet his hold on you kept you still, and you were in no position to remove any one of your hands from the table that supported your weight, unless you had planned on falling back completely.
Slowly, you felt the skin around your cavity conforming to the bulging tip as he slowly pressed in further, finally feeding the bulbous top of his shaft in, inch by inch. If the pain was so bad with just the very tip of his cock partially entered, how was it going to feel once he starts to slide the rest of his length in?
You couldn't bear the thought, taking the risk, you quickly shifted one of your palms and pressed it against his abdominal muscles, right on his pelvis, with your palm flat against him. Pushing, you gained just a slight bit of distance as you pushed yourself back, not at all having any effect to the stallion before you. Still, it didn't matter whose body needed to move, so long as you could create a gap between you two, which you did...just a few inches, until he tugged you by the grasp he had around your lower back, harshly pinning your thigh down even more as he digs his fingers into your supple skin.
"No......." you whispered desperately as he slowly continues to fit himself inside, which was hard as he found the friction to be the result of your preserved nature in abstaining from casual and constant sex.
"You were a good girl throughout college, weren't you?" He scoffs as he inhales deeply upon savoring the feeling of your warm skin, slowly surrounding his. "I"m gonna fuck you up so good." He smirks out.
Slowly.....painfully.....little by little, he continues to feed himself in, the very tip already opening you as he starts to enter.
"Stop! Please stop! Too much! It's too much!" you cry out, your palm pressing him again, yet it was no use.
Ignoring your pleas and constant whimpering, he merely relays a calm expression under half heavy lids, watching as his muscle continues to go inside you.
"I know....it wont hurt for long, I promise....just be a good girl and take it all in, I promise I'll make the pain go away. I'll make you feel really good...like a fucking queen.....and i'm going to love doing it." He gently tones out, leaning in and placing a kiss on your forehead. The moment he did so, while he bends inward, you felt a sudden sliding of his shaft expediting its entry as his body caves into you, causing you to push against him once more, only to find that it did nothing to aid you. Instead, it fueled him with an instinctive nature of dominance and aggressiveness, you saw it by the way. he bit down on his lip and smirk out a deep chuckle. If you hadn't known any better, the man looked animalistic, and you were the prey of the raging beast.
"Almost there.....fuck baby.....you feel soooooooo good......been wanting....to feel you......wanting to make you feel good......fucking love you." He stutters out, locking your lips with his own in the process.
"No! Stop! Please take it out!" you gasped out as he kept his tongue inside your mouth.
He continues to slide in, while he massages his tongue over and under yours, stroking and complimenting your canines.
Finally, the moment you felt the base of his groin making contact with your pelvis, you gasped in relief. He was finally all in, which you had wanted, up until you felt the pain. Now that he was nestled inside you, he allowed you to regain your breathing and even guided you into taking deep breaths.
"Breathe baby.....mmm...breathe....yeah....good girl. Breathe for me."
Forming a small circle with his lips, he looked as if he was going to whistle, instead, he merely blows on your forehead, a method to faintly cool you as you took in your breaths. You weren't sweating, not yet, nor were you feeling hot, but the second you felt his breath blowing against your skin, you felt a sense of relaxation coming back to you.
The lustful numbing and tingling was calming, like a raging storm calmed by the tranquility of the sunlight, the pulsating punches were toned down as he bellowed out and remained burrowed inside your soft muscles.
"Deep breaths baby." he issued, and immediately, he begins to move in and out.
Gasping and slamming both hands on his biceps, you relied on his strength and his broad frame as you held on for dear life. Since he was already inside, remaining on the stilt platform of your hands and trying to create distance was pointless, he was so close....and was going to remain close. Yet the stinging pain remained, and you were desperate in trying to appeal to him yet again....
"STOP...stop.....stop....pl-please...oh my God.....stop...." you breathed out each word in an airy gasp as you squeezed the material of his tux, digging your fingers into his arms.
"Shhh, breathe baby." was all he murmured as he continued to move, thrusting in and out at a moderate pace. His speed was neither fast nor slow, just deep and thick.
Tilting your head back, he watches as your throat shifts up and down as your body receives his penetrating act. Up and down...up....and down.....
"Theeeeere you go.......just like that......breathe baby.....breathe." he guides in a whisper, reaching up and cradling a gentle grasp on the side of your neck, his thumb stroking in an up and down motion on the center of your throat. "Just like that......fuck....breathe for me baby girl."
Just then, he starts picking up the pace. "Yeah, breathe....uh huh...just like that....fuck....fuck you're so damn pretty."
“P-please…..n-not so hard……I-I feel like I’m breaking….”
“Come on baby, keep fucking it.” 
Increasing speed, your body was now bouncing ferociously up and down, growing weak as the base of his groin muscles slam into you. The sting transitions into a burning sensation from being slightly torn open, yet the tingling and numbing sensation turned into something that was so very pleasant......so much in fact, that you began to release prolonged moans of erotic nature.
"Uuuuugh...."
"Oh fuck....good girl......keep going, i fucking love the way you sound and look right now."
"Uuuuuuuuuugh...mmmm.....mmmmmmmm.....uuuuugh..."
"Yeah....good girl. Fuck it...my good girl."
The sound of his skin kissing yours as he slaps his pelvis against you, thrusting his muscle in and out, twitching and flicking it up each time he rails deep within you. Shifting your weight up and down at his mercy, your body goes completely weak and limp from his insatiable hunger for lust.
"Uh...fuck baby.....you want more? Hmm?....Come here....Ill give you more..."
Shifting his hands to meeting and wrapping around the narrow part of your waist, beneath the slinky material of your dress, which had been rolled and coiled around your waistline, leaving your top and bottom half to be fully nude and exposed, he feeds his hands under the fabric. Feeling his rough hands pinch a grip on your sides, you felt him pulling and tugging you, lifting your entire weight up and down as he bounced you on his length at merciless speed.
Your feet dangle off in mid air as your legs remained spread wide open, with his frame centered in between, your rear still hangs off the edge of the table, yet your body sustains and remains upright thanks to his support as you latched your grip on to his arm, and wrapped your other arm around his neck.
"Oh my God....no!.....ugh!"
"Yes....."
"N-no....please...."
"Yes baby."
Going back and forth had created a sense of immense sexual tension between you both. Each time he responded, he went faster, deeper, and harder, and before you knew, it, you found yourself gushing out and splattering as he rammed himself inside you.
At this point, the burning and stinging had fully disappeared. All you could feel, was the punching pikes of pleasure that was hitting you inside and out, all from his unyielding performance and stamina. Hitting the right spot each and every single time, you moaned out his name, craving for more.
"Ugh.....oh......mmmm....Heeseung..."
"Talk to me baby....."
"Mmm...mmmmm...oh God....more! Please.....please....do..do more....."
"Yeah?" Leaning in once again, he places a delicate and passionate kiss on your lips, inserting his tongue and dragging the tip of it across the roof of your mouth. Clicking it back in, you felt the snap of his oral muscle as he flicks it inside, becoming addicted to the harsh 'click' sound that came with it.
Melting into him, you were fused with his body. Even so, at the moment, when you leaned a bit back to your original position, placing both palms flat on the surface to support your weight, it didn't matter that you were no longer wrapping your arms around his neck. The moment you were on the stilt position that founded your upper weight, it gave him leverage to not only go faster and harder, but to make you bounce relentlessly as you felt him pounding against your pelvic and rear muscles.
Now, you were squelching as the sound of moisture and skin rubbing, molding, and unifying was filling the room. Your moans became more drawn out and louder, while your hair flew all around as you felt yourself being levitated by his grasp. Everything felt amazing, it didn't matter that you were being fucked relentlessly....by your own step brother.
Tilting your head back, you pushed your hip up against him, lifting it slightly, allowing him to fuck you deeper.
"Awww fuck baby....you're going to make me cum."
Stuffed, thrusted, and bouncing on his thick muscle, you nearly screamed out as you felt the peak of that tingling sensation, building up and was near a point of massive explosion as the tip of his dick repeatedly taps against the soft spot, deep inside your stomach.
"Ugh!....mm!....Ugh!....Heeseung fuck me....please Heeseung fuck me...oh my God please....." you whimpered out, the pleasure was so great, the tears that streamed down your face was not of pain this time around, but from the intensity of his euphoric deliverance to your throbbing cunt.
Leaning in for the final time, he wraps his arms around you, lifting and settling your entire frame on the hilt of his lower abdomen, forcing your legs to wrap themselves and rest against the hilt of his hip. With added depth, the motions of your body bouncing up and down became much more steep as you felt his hand grab on to one of your rear cheeks. Squeezing it within his grasp, while using it as a leverage point to add momentum, he lifts and pushes it downward in sync with each thrust, adding a heightened boost in fucking his throbbing cock inside you.
"Fuck! I'm gonna cum..." he spurts out against your neck.
With your arms wrapped around his neck once more, you lean your head back and allow him to breathe, gasp, and scoff out pleasurable groans against your throat.
"Ugh! Please....ugh please....." you begged, coming close to climax.
"I know baby...I know.......we'll do it together.....fuck baby.....we'll cum....together..." He groans out, mouth parted open as he latches it on your skin, gasping out.
"Ugh! Heeseung!"
"Fuck, beautiful!"
The moment you gushed out, with the hot liquid seeping and coating his length, all from his vigor, Heeseung bursts out, and explodes inside as he releases.
Coating your walls and staining that soft spot that his raging tip was just beating on, his essence fills you to the brim. Despite already stopping at a clinic to pick up birth control pills upon settling things with Kurt, and dating again, you enjoyed the rush of Heeseung's ejaculation filling you, allowing the natural process of breeding to take place, even if you were taking preventative measures against getting pregnant. The delightful thought of his semen swimming inside, traveling deep inside your body and rushing into fertilize you was something that aid you to reach climax at such a profound state. You loved every single second of it.
Jutting his length deeper as it remained fully inside, Heeseung's face remains burrowed against our breast, suckling on your nipple as he thrusts a few more times, ensuring that he emptied himself entirely inside your body.
Once satisfied, he reaches down and holds himself at the base with two fingers, slowly pulling out. Each time you had felt as if he was close to fully exiting, you were reminded just how lengthy he was as he would continue to slowly slide, causing you to feel the rippling lining of the veins that decorated his cock.
"Mmm....Heeseung..." you whimpered out with furrowed brows of slight pain. The sensation of being stretched out and torn open was coming back now that you had rode out the high of your orgasm.
Listening onto the suckling sound of his mouth while it remains latched on to your areola like an infant child, he twirls his tongue around and flickers it against the tip of your nipple, distracting your mind away from the pain.
Finally, his lengthy muscle was all the way out, the bulging tip engorged and pulsating as it made it's exit, seeping out and leaving a trailed line of his children to decorate your walls and your clit.
Holding on to you, he embraces on your frame tightly and sits you back down on the console table, leaning you back while he adorns you with a series of kisses, starting with your breasts, then moving his way up to your collar bones, neck, throat, jawline, and then your lips.
Moaning deeply into your mouth, he strokes your neck again, ending the session with passionate and heated....love......
Love.....it wasn't lust....it wasn't just strictly desire....it was.....love.
The way he held, the way he moved, the way he would stroke your skin and lick it with his tongue. The way his eyes looked at you through a heavy gaze, with half shut lids and parted lips, gasping in shock each time he noted how your hair framed your face, your skin glistened against the dim light, or how your puckered, cherry stained lips would shine and look delectable for him to suck on.
It was undeniable, this man....your stepbrother.....was in love with you. It wasn't just his mannerisms or the way he looked at you either....
"I love you.....you're mine....you're all mine.....nothing is going to take you away from me.......I'm keeping you.....forever.....y/n."
He was right....he was keeping you forever. But it wasn't just him....soon, you'd find out that another pair of hands, eyes, and lips were going to take its turn....feasting on you as Heeseung had just done.....
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CHAPTER 7
Taglist: @deobitifull; @solstramaii; @vampiregirl215; @nshmrarki; @enhypen14; @iamliacamila; @lisaaannna; @nikstrange; @jaehaki; @luv-enhy-skz33; @silcry@honeysjae; @crackedcameraa; @stinkmonkey ; @baekxo07@raishaii@yangjungwon33 @lhspeachie ; @differentchildwombat ; @prettykia ; @kimsseonu ; @stvrryhee ; @en-thralled ; @hoonzdzbl ; @yuppppp ; @jinniespuppy ; @browsehnnie @prettykia @lprww @they2luv1naia @ellixqz@mimimovv @stvrryhee @moonmoongi @seungjiseyo @csmicvrse @yohanabanana , @heeshees @yumii0828 , @lprww, @mariji , @silcry
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yesimwriting · 1 year ago
Text
More than this
A/n the anakin appearance in ahsoka show got to me, that's all i can say
warnings: i didn't think too much about realistic timelines and i lowkey prioritized vibe over canon (as usual tbh), also written very quickly bc i'm supposed to be studying for a test so typos maybe? and maybe not great lol,, lowkey manipulative anakin but he's in his villain era so
Summary: Similar vibes as that force "facetime" thing with kylo and rey,, basically anakin 'facetiming' his not gf after killing off a bunch of younglings bc she's going through it and he's that committed
----
You're sick of it. Not of meetings or of political discourse or of trying to do the right thing for your people. You're sick of pretending like your entire way of life doesn't have an approaching expiration date.
The door to your bed chambers shuts with a groan loud enough to mask your irritated sigh. You squeeze your eyes shut so tightly you see stars before resting your forehead against the solid surface.
At least you're alone now. For now.
It won't be long before someone finds you. Another meeting or lesson or worst of all--another suitor. You don't want any of it. In fact, you might not ever want to speak to another person again.
"Not surprising."
You turn around too quickly, the back of your head hitting the door with a soft thump. Some combination of a shout and gasp tries to crawl up your throat but just as quickly the urge vanishes.
"Great..." He's standing at the other end of your room, confident like he has a right to be in your chambers. Like he's actually-- "I'm being driven to insanity."
He tilts his head slightly, expression revealing much too little. "I've told you." He takes a step forward. "I'm real."
At this point, he's given you several reasons to believe the stories he's told you. That the force he wields for whatever reason has chosen to connect the two of you. Considering what you've been briefed on regarding the current state of the Jedi, you might be better off if the stranger that keeps finding you does turn out to be a hallucination.
A question settles in your chest the way it often does when he appears. Now that you know about the rumored fall of the Jedi that has your father nervous and your advisors unsure, you're more wary of him than ever. How is he 'standing' here, perfectly fine?
You're not overly concerned about offending him. He's just someone that manipulates his abilities to pop in whenever you crave solitude most. But something at the back of your mind warns that you might not want the answer. Nothing good could come from any involvement of the Jedi in their current state.
"A hallucination would make the same argument," you whisper, voice drier than before. He takes another step in your direction. A mistake. You've made one by indicating nerves. "So..." Recovering quickly, you force your spine to straighten, "Why are you here this time?"
Casual and detached. That's how all of these forced rendezvous go. It's the safest. He insists on whatever point he's trying to make and you pretend to be too caught up in your annoyance to find any part of interesting until he eventually vanishes. Any stray in that could lead to a negative shift. Especially now.
"Are you not happy to see me?" You blink. He's made those types of comments before, a hint of humor touching his features enough to make you feel less on edge. But this time the words feel off, void of any warmth or surprising charisma.
Nerves twist themselves in your stomach. Whatever happened to the Jedi, whatever had all the members of your latest meeting on edge has effected him.
He's watching you, waiting for a reaction. You want out, but some instinct begs you to keep that hidden. A lifetime of being a royal daughter instead of a son has taught you that there's a certain safety that comes from playing unaware. "Not any more or less happy than usual."
That sounds normal, right? You've never been particularly nice to him, making it clear that you have no interest or time for whatever potential the force he's always talks about sees in the two of you as a pairing. But you're also not mean or flighty. "Okay, maybe a little less."
A small offering. You've done it before, revealing bits and pieces of your life to him because he has no part in your world. It doesn't matter what he knows and you've never had someone in your life in any capacity that you could just rant to, someone you could exist around without any pretext.
"And why is that?"
Another thing you didn't think through. The meeting that made you feel like a useless figurehead just waiting to be married off had revolved around the issues with the Jedi and what that means for your people.
"Some meetings today." That's a casual enough thing to admit. He normally assumes that's your issue. "Long meetings...so if you could just get to your point and disappear the way you usually do."
The corner of his mouth turns upwards. Normally, his partial smiles and signs of ease make you feel better about speaking to him. This look, however, only further knots your stomach. "Busy day."
"Yeah," you agree, nodding once, "Another one of my cousins have agreed to a proposed betrothal and that--that always starts discussions of when I'll finally do the same and--"
You're not sure where your rambling's going, you just know that this is something you complain about enough for it to seem normal. Besides, the best covers are based on the truth and what you're referencing is true enough. There was some discussion about a relative's impending marriage, but the rumors took over the meeting before anyone could try to convince your father to finally marry you off.
He takes another step towards the door and then another. The room is large enough that there's still an amount of distance between the two of you that's respectable, but that doesn't make it easier to dismiss that he's getting closer. At least your proximity to the door is comforting.
"You've never lied to me before."
The flutter of uncertainty in your stomach spikes, a brief wave of panic rendering you incapable of thinking. He's capable of just appearing in your room without actually being here, being able to tear apart your lie is nothing compared to that. But somehow him being able to tell where your truth begins and ends feels much more invasive than what you already knew about. You don't lie constantly, but for so long your ability to seem clueless has been your only form of self preservation.
You don't know what to do next. A part of you wants to fall back on habit, commit to your portrayal of not knowing. He'll see through it, there's no reason for him not to, but what else is there? Owning up to lying about the meeting will lead to a discussion of the actual meeting and that...
You're not sure why you're so convinced that ignorance is what you should be striving for. After all, everything you heard about the Jedi's current situation was unconfirmed, too recent and closed off to have reached even the top leader's of your home. But if it's true and he's really reaching out to you after such tragedy and acting casual in a way that makes it feel like you've never met him before.
You're also too aware of the fact that while you do feel the need to be alert, you're not afraid. This would be easier if you were. "How do you know that?"
Instead of sounding as closed off as you want to, genuine curiosity bleeds into the question.
"The same way we can see each other." Another step, this one less subtle. "I can teach you, if you'd like."
If he can tell when you're lying, there's not much point in saying no without a reason because despite yourself, you would like to know how. Who wouldn't? "I think I'm missing certain abilities."
His eyebrows draw together, and for a brief second you get a glimpse of something a little more familiar and a lot easier to accept. "I wouldn't be too sure."
Okay, now you know something's up with him. A breezy half-laugh escapes you. "Come on." Maybe that was his way of releasing some of the tension. His expression doesn't waiver. "Okay." If he wants to act strange, fine, but he's not going to convince you that you're like him in anyway. "What makes you say that?"
A beat passes and then another. If he had behaved like he usually does, you might have even considered the silence a sort of hesitation. "You're the one that reached out to me."
Another breathy, almost nervous laugh slips out. "Even if I had wanted to speak to you, I wouldn't have known how."
"You found a way."
There are only so many things you can believe from him. He's an invasive stranger that you've decided to accept in your life out of desperation for an outlet of escape. "That's impossible." He's closer now than you remember him being a second ago. That's almost enough to derail your train of thought. "The--the only thing I was thinking about was how much I wanted to be alone."
"You say that every time."
Pressing your lips together, you give yourself permission to let his words sink in. Every time you've seen him, it's after deciding that you want nothing to do with anyone ever again. "Then I guess you have impeccable timing."
He's so close now that you could extend an arm to touch him....if you wanted to. He angles his chin downwards slightly, "I can teach you."
Warmth begins to crawl up your chest. His assistance is another thing that should scare you. You're not like him...you can't be and even if you were, it'd have to be a secret that you take with you to the grave. And even if you are, why does it matter to him? "Why?"
He's unfazed by your abrasive tone. "I can see it."
"There's nothing to s--"
"You want more than this." You swallow once in an attempt to get rid of whatever's lodged itself in your throat. Maybe there is no such thing as being able to be fully honest with anyone, no matter how disconnected from your life they may seem. "I can help you."
Some halfhearted correction tries to pry itself out of your mouth even though there's no point. "I don't--we don't even know each other." You keep your poster rigid. "I don't even know your name."
His lips part. Whatever response he was planning on giving you is cut off before he can even start by the quick knocking against your door. Your head initially snaps towards the door. "..Are you in there?" Another rush of soft knocks. "Your father's waiting for you, he wants to debrief the last meeting."
Your let your head fall forward again with an instinctual sigh. By the time your eyes settle where they were before, he's gone.
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iamnmbr3 · 3 months ago
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How do you think Sirius and Lily would have gotten along while at school? Love your metas!! 🥰
Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say. This is a really fascinating question. Obviously I think initially they didn't get along well since in the SWM scene Lily doesn't seem to think too highly of the Marauders. She's especially bothered by James but quite clearly doesn't get on with any of them - and we see that started right from their first meeting on the train (which paralleled Harry and Draco so much it's wild, but that's another post).
They were also housemates and had to be around each other but I think probably they mostly ignored each other. I think the antagonism was probably pretty one sided in the sense that I don't think she was a target of the Marauders' bullying. James probably tried to get her attention but Sirius probably didn't really care. His priority was James. So yeah, probably there was a chilly distance between them along with maybe some grudging respect because they are both talented and smart enough to notice each other's abilities (though I think Sirius probably also overlooked and underestimated her to an extent and didn't really understand her or see her the way Snape did), given that James certainly seems a bit wary of being hexed by Lily in the book 5 Pensieve memory. They have to live in proximity so probably Lily was cooly cordial when she wasn't actively angry about something, and Sirius was probably about the same since he didn't really care about her but knew his best mate fancied her.
Later things get more complicated. Because later Lily and Sirius have something in common. They've both fallen for the same person. I read Sirius as gay with unrequited feelings for James. On the one hand, he wants his best friend to be happy. On the other hand, it's hard seeing the person you're in love with getting together with someone else. It was one thing when James fancied Lily and she didn't like him back. Quite another thing when in 7th year suddenly they're getting on, and then not just getting on, but actually falling for each other and falling hard. Sirius could probably be moody even back then (tho probably less than he was post-Azkaban) so I think sometimes those feelings probably bubbled forth and led to some coldness or tension. But he probably tried to tamp it down as best he could.
And of course we know from the short prequel that James went running off to galavant with Sirius while Lily was left at home and that when James became increasingly frustrated with being cooped up in Godric's Hollow, Lily turned to Sirius for help because she thought he might be able to reach James when she couldn't. So there's also the question of who is really first in his regard - who he respects and listens to and has the most emotional intimacy with. Which again could create some tension.
Also, for Sirius James is always the priority. He cares about Lily and accepts her as family because she's James's girlfriend - and later his wife. Not because they necessarily would've been friends otherwise. So there's this interesting dynamic where he would die for her and sees her as family, but also he's not that interested in her as a person and she knows he would drop her if she and James broke up.
Even so, on a surface level they get along. They're both funny and clever and quick and a bit detached. The letter she wrote to him in book 7 speaks to some emotional intimacy between them. and that probably started in book 7.
Another bonding point, beyond the fact that now they spend a lot of time around each other bc of James is that there's a war that's picking up steam and they're both on the same side of it, which creates a sense of camaraderie. Not to mention, Sirius knows all about having an estranged sibling.
So yeah I think their relationship is messy and complicated and contradictory - both close and distant, brothers in arms and family by choice, but also rivals in affection who never understand each other beyond a surface level. People who resent each other but also need each other, who are inextricably bound together and part of each other's lives and yet separated by unbridgeable gaps, who rely on each other and yet don't know each other.
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stick-ball · 1 year ago
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pspspspsp Kevin's trauma and his choice to stay with Thea, why her why not someone else? How does it work considering his characters as whole books/ec , does it make sense or just feel "random"
<Picks you up like a little cat and smooches your head.>
This responce has been sped up by the people who asked Nora on twitter to break Kevin and Thea up, making me see red KillBill style, so:
For me, Kevin's and Thea's relationship makes perfect sense. Maybe it's the realist in me, maybe its the idealist in me, I don't care. When it comes to Kevin's traumas, I think that since most people can't really relate to a majority of them, they get all hung up on the one they most definately can, as in, his mommy issues. When we relate to something, it becomes a really big deal. And here we go! Thea/Kevin suddenly is feared to be toxic instead of being seen for what I think it is: finding love in a hopeless place.
The main issue i see discussed is the disproportion of power at the beginning of the relationship. The main concern is the age difference. I personally don't really get the hate about the age gap between them, because if you read the extra content you will know that while they met when Kevin was 14 and Thea 18, it's not like anything happened between them at that age? First, Kevin saw her as an impressive player, when he did actually see her. That wasn't all that often bcs from what I understand from the EC, Kevin and Riko trained with the Ravens sometimes before they joined the team but a big part of their training happened without them, as well as their life growing up was more detached from the Uni students than people seem to think. And honestly, do you think Tetsuji would just let all the freshmen know they signed into the Yakuza sportsTM? Methinks not, but be delulu if you want I guess. 💋
So anyway, from the EC, it seems like Kevin had a crush slowly build up for Thea over the years, growing from his appreciation of her skill and athletism. Considering how cold that guy is, it probably took him some time to realise, after his irritation at her romances (yeah hello she was dating people her age when Kevin was mooning for here as a pathetic teenage boy, bye bye Thea haters) with other teammates started having nothing to do with the fact it could result in the teams distraction during the game, bcs of their hormones and feelings, and turned to conscious jelousy. And here I have to applaud young Kevin because he did not even realise he was distracted from the game by being jealous. Knowing how oblivious Kevin can be about non exy issues, it likely took quite a while.
So what's next? The "getting together"? Kevin and Thea only started having a sort of physical relationship when Kevin and Riko were already freshmen for Edgar Allan, at 18/19.
Whoever wants to fight me on this being a toxic age gap, what exactly is your angle?
Anyway, Kevin was the one to initiate their relationship, after Riko was done with his distraction from the game and his focus on picking fights with Thea, and told him to sleep with her and get it out of his system. (And that's how i met your mother.) It wasn't much more than that for a long time, because having a relationship on a 12 hrs day/night full of training and uni and juggling two other teams on top of that as well as celebrity status literally sounds like the most insane schedule ever, so it's insane they even managed to talk privately at all.
Now, we circle back to the question, why Thea? Why not someone else? Well, first and fucking foremost, because Nora Sakavic said so. Second of all, because Jung and Freud weren't as stupid as imternet memes would have you believe. (Read their books, read all the books please, i can rec you like a 100 psychology texts, dont be shy)
To keep it short, we do base our attraction on the role models we have, one way or another. I saw enough of my friends pick partners that have the exact character quirks that make them just slightly like an after image of their guardians. Kevin doesn't really have a father model, but his mother? She's always going to be a huge part of his life, is it really so weird and dangerous, that he got infautated with a strong, driven, 4 years older woman, who's incredibly talented and just as determined as him? I don't think so. Is it unhealthy? Is it unsafe? As much as life is, I guess, no one is perfect, but I think he could've done much much worse for himself.
Why did Kevin decide to stay with Thea? I would find it pretty obvious, because she doesn't actually need him. She built herself, but she wants him. Even if she will never have the same fame and recognition in her career that he does. Being wanted this way must be really new for Kevin, who was always a trophy to show off because of his legacy, always a property. But Thea is not competing with him, she doesnt want to own him either. I believe his mother is as much of a role model to her, as to him. So, they have sex, when they want to, they talk - when they feel like it. They don't, well fucking fine, so they don't, they fall in love anyway. It's okay if exy comes first in the beginning, considering both spent a lot of time in cult mentality, I think neither is all that bothered as long as its not obsessive (we could discuss how reasonable it was of Kevin to ghost her for over a year and not tell her about how he broke his hand but thats a whole other essay).
What's really wild to me, is that I think the power imbalance in this relationship is the opposite of what many may think.
Kevin holds all the cards. Thea joined the Ravens as a 18 years old talented athlete, she was one of the only girls on the team, and the Nest was not a place to make friends, on top of that it was a mafia cult. She had everything to prove there, and no way of being prepared for all the grooming. On top of that, she knew nothing of the Moriyamas or even of what actually went down with the whole Perfect Court thing. Kevin knew everything, on top of that, up until he left, he had nothing to prove. He ghosted her, is it so hard to believe she accepted his cold shoulder in this dynamic, in which she obviously is not at the top of the foodchain? He kept secrets from her, is it really so hard to believe she was angry? I think neither of them was ready for neither what life at the nest was like, or for a relationship when it happened, but I also think they are incredibly lucky that they have eachother, their shared passion for exy, their daughter, their dog and friends from the dog park who can't talk about exy to save their lives.
I think Kevin was incredibly lucky for finding Thea, because maybe she did not know everything, maybe it wasn't easy for them, but they understood that Rikos death wasn't a one dimensional victory, that it was just as much of a tragedy for them, for Kevin. I'm happy with the canon and I wish more people appreciated this ship, as its very soothing.
As an ending fun fact, did you know I am the only person to make a playlist for Thea Muldani in all of spotify? Pretty insane if you ask me.
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uriekukistan · 3 months ago
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hi i trust ur translations so i was wondering in 266 the first panel which is more accurate for what fushiguro says? “that's enough” or “you've done enough” ?
hi omg first of all thank you 🙏 actually i'm really glad to talk abt this bc it's such an interesting line. it's a very tricky translation honestly (megumi said the same thing in 251 and there were like 5 translations...), so this will be a bit long.
he says it twice in the chapter, but the meaning shifts due to context & a grammar structure that doesn't exist in english, even though he says the same thing. i'll put my translation first, and the explanation after bc idk who wants to read all that 😭
on page 1: "That's enough." on page 2: "But I've had enough."
also i HATE the "you've done enough" translation. i'll explain why in the rest of the post, but essentially, the focus of the sentence is megumi's feelings, not anything yuuji is doing...also the verb "to do" isn't even present here so,,,,,idk maybe that's just me.
basically what megumi says in japanese (もういいんだ), word for word translates something like "it's/i'm good already" or "it's/i'm good enough" (japanese omits pronouns often, so it's/i'm is up to context).
the thing that makes this translation tricky is the particle ん. it can be used for a few things, but in this case, it places an emphasis on how the speaker is feeling, which leaves the phrase up to interpretation a bit more, since it could be expressing a lot of different emotions. for megumi, i'd say it's defeat/resignation.
that's why there's so many discrepancies in translations, because translators are trying to find a way to carry that contextual emotion over into a language that isn't built to hold it. word for word translation here doesn't really do the phrase justice. it sounds very detached in english, comparatively
like megumi said the same phrase in 251, and it was translated several ways, but because of the very personal nature of the particle ん, i prefer "i've had enough," as a translation for this because it centers megumi and his feelings of defeat.
at the beginning of 266, i can see "that's enough," as a good translation because he's addressing yuuji directly and telling him that he can stop, basically. again, it's still very personal, so i don't really understand the "you've done enough" translation. the original sentence honestly doesn't have anything to do with yuuji. it's solely about megumi's feelings.
the second time, he actually says でも、もういいんだ (でも means "but" or "however" - not sure why it wasn't in the official translation 😀). the context has shifted to him talking about what he wants and what would make him happy, and the conjunction links the phrases together in contrast (then i'd be happy, but...), so personally, i'd go back to "but i've had enough."
hoping i didn't yap to much or that this wasn't boring.....i think things like this are a really interesting feature of the japanese language, and one of my favorite parts about it sjfkgh. unfortunately, it does mean a lot of things get lost in translation, or at least the full weight does.
thank you for asking tho omg i've been DYING to talk about this specific phrase
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kijosakka · 8 months ago
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Thoughts. okay so the total drama drama drama drama island special is interesting mainly bc of team e-scope but im going to take a moment here to ramble about his dynamic with other people here,,
(oh and i didn't have anywhere really to slot it into the other post or segue into it here but dodgebrawl as a Moment demonstrates how [this AU] noah can play the social game, just in a very very different way than how it's normally seen.
he knows what he's doing is going to bother his team and incentivize them to vote, i'd say in this au he even plays up the cockiness and makes veiled personal slights against specific people
(mainly those who would be annoyed enough to vote him off, see: heather, justin, leshawna, cody/trent to some extent if he said smth about gwen? < and gwen herself in that scenario. and to another extent beth, since hes playing up his outright mean traits, which would make lindsay vote with her. i dont think he would do anything specific to/with owen or izzy, since he may see izzy as too volatile and owen too genuine)
in the opposite way of whats expected, sure, but it is a social play. he can pick apart what these people are and what they show and push at it to achieve his own ends (and maybe its even some sort of way for him to regain control in this fundamentally uncontrollable situation he's found himself in; he can be the punishment in foucalt's imagining, to a much smaller degree))
so his teammates,,, do not like him tbh. his flagrant display during dodgeball and everyone being pissed at him after the fact is true in this AU, just coming with different motivations. even after the fact when the frustration of everyone fizzles out, hes still majorly offputting because of his detachedness, and deliberately makes his shown traits very unpalatable to experience in person combined with that.
the only two exceptions are izzy and owen respectively: owens mostly coming from a place of genuineness and im going to say while he wouldnt be able to verbalize it, in some manner owen would clock noahs behavior as a defense mechanism. maybe in the sense of 'hes just scared to open up to people!!' or something similar, but he definitely has a lot more faith that noah really isnt that cold and flat.
[*]izzy feels much the same -- except maybe it comes off more to her as strategic. izzy can act, and might recognize that in noah. if you wanted to you could write this in as to why she was eager to swap teams in the first episode, but it wouldnt change that he does get eliminated and thats all she sees of him until the special -- which, her intrigue in his lacking and the fact that it apparently wasnt strategic to get him further in the game, could help explain why she picks him in the team-up.
[*i have soooo much to say about izzy in this au actually. but ill save it for a diff post]
and speaking of the team-up: team e-scope!!!! :0
my au my rules eva and izzy became really good friends on the playa; izzy isn't afraid of eva (and curbing her anger before it reaches a boiling point) and eva is physically adept enough to restrain izzy from Shenanigans that might be a little Much. but eva doesnt really?? know anything about noah?? but izzy insists on teaming with him for the special (and unbeknownst to her noah wasnt even planning to participate initially) so he must be some level of Not Too Bad if izzy wants anything to do with him that doesnt seem to be related to tormenting the guy
and she thinks hes Fine. apathetic and detached and unpalatable (but then again, everyone in their little trio really is to some degree), but can kind of understand izzys intrigue: hes still A Guy, hes just hidden behind 20 layers of non-substance that are so offputting from the first meeting it makes people steer clear of him.
now with tddddi comes two other pertinent details: the justin line, and the Thing With Duncan.
i personally thing noahs 'he's the anti-me' line is really funny in the context of canon but if you squint it kinda works here? wherein justin is non-speaking yet flaunts himself to be the center of attention and clearly shows intent and capacity to scheme (underdeveloped or no, see: awakeathon), whereas noah speaks a lot yet lets himself fade into the background, showing vague hints of the capacity to scheme but no intention or palpable ambition behind it.
^ am i reaching? maybe. the other option here is noah somehow has seen him in-person before on a modeling or red carpet kind of gig and dislikes him on principle because of it/its a jab at it (smth smth they are both opposite ends of the same industry? justin is the face of it in a manner where noah stays behind the scenes and out of sight)
and the thing with duncan,, hear me out here okay noah does his whole song and dance, goes up to him and patronizes him, and duncan retaliates. however, he curses like a sailor and in noah's head has ruined the footage, therefore instead of further retaliating and potentially invoking actual physical harm he just. doesnt react. at all. duncan looks up at him and hes just dead-eyed staring down at him -- and then he leaves.
^ the scene has been ruined, and everyone else is doing so much that theres no reason to play it up any more. duncan and him arent plot important like how heather and lindsay were, theres no reason for the crew to painstakingly edit his swearing out. they just wont let it reach the final cut. duncan is understandably very confused by this, but at that point noah was already gone to find eva and izzy again (< this is when the cast having a running bet that noahs and android becomes Not a Joke)
but life goes on!!! and in the worlds worst comedy of errors (for noah), izzy ends up dragging him along into the lake, thereby leaving him as a confirmed member of the next season.
^ noah is so angry at this. popping blood vessels. he argues with chris endlessly, straight frothing at the mouth at only having two days of real reprieve before he has to deal with the Same Shit again. and chris gets this, to some degree, but also knows that if theres no explanation for noahs non-appearance to hand the producers, theyll be pissed (since all things considered, noahs pretty damn popular among the fans)
luckily for him, courtney just filed a lawsuit against the show!! and since chris is busy running said show, the producers do not want to deal with it and are willing to hand off the case to anyone else -- hence, chris officially signs noah on as his PA, and noah takes over the court settlements and whatnot.
< though i do imagine the producers would see it as a 'get out of the show' scheme, and thereby push way harder for his involvement in WT as a result
but noah does get a break!!! for now, at least.
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squipdop · 1 year ago
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But doesn't he want to become a god specifically to be the one Actually Good God that doesn't turn people away and instead helps them? His intentions with godhood are much different than Astarion's with ascension.
GREAT question! lets see if i can answer in a way thats coherent (Challenge: Hard). first things first: this is obviously all influenced by how *i* read these characters, and how *i* think their stories would go given the circumstances (plus a bit of what id *like* to see because a) player choice has a lot of influence on character development and b) these guys are all dolls in my playhouse and i like to have fun)
so; i do believe gale truly consciously *wants* to be an Actually Good God. im not at all arguing against that - i simply believe he would not actually *be* one. for one because i dont think any God can actually be purely Good, not from the mortals point of view, and especially not a God of a domain such as *Magic*? and how long can you listen to and help your worshippers, how long can you be patient and a just teacher and ruler, when you are so much above them? when you have so much more power than them, so much more knowledge, so much more time. not to mention anyone contesting your power or domain, mortal or otherwise.
pair this with gale not always being quiet as Good as he likes to think of himself as - he does not disapprove of astarions plans of ascension, he can stay with you after the goblin raid, he is fully willing to sacrifice not *only himself, but also your entire party and everyone in the vicinity the size of a city* for mystras forgiveness "the greater good" (MINI philosophical ramblings here, because thats another intresting angle but this is already getting long enough: yes, even in the name of the greater good, he is in this moment making the decision of sacrifice not only for himself, but for a WHOLE bunch of people without their consent or consideration.) this perhaps is a personal gripe with this flavor of utilitarism, but just think how this would scale onto near limitless power.
another aspect i personally see in gales want for godhood is his desire to feel worthy. i mentioned this in my tags earlier already, but i read gale in the "gifted kid who knows hes smart but still never feels quite enough to be worth loving" way? and just constantly trying to prove that - without ever being able to attain it, and as a God, who would even be there to hand out this approval? "am i worth loving yet" is just a question you cannot recieve a satisfying affirmation to if you dont trust others to make the call
as for comparison with astarion... i think astarions base desire for ascension comes from a need to feel *safe*, which he believes he can only attain through power over others. this is where im drawing my comparisons: astarions desire for power => safety, and gales desire for power => worthiness; both think power (ascension, godhood) could give them what they want, when this is simply untrue - astarion will not ever feel truly safe if he does not let himself heal and move on, and gale will never truly feel worthy enough if he does not detach his self worth from others approval (and his use to others)
in my post i specifically mentioned them in a relationship bc i love me some unhealthy bloodweave, and i think this is one of the most toxic ways they could be together, especially if theyre both hopelessly devoted to each other... (dreamy sigh) but i think this answer is already long enough so ill cut it off here
TL;DR: i think gale *wants* to be an actually Good God. i just do not think him capable.
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kingusukaras · 1 year ago
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some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you
read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️
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i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing
(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)
for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people
the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey
the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures
(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)
(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)
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skateordiebitch · 4 days ago
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you could be my woman || D.F. x reader
'you could be my habit, you could be my woman, right i don't want you having any time alone'
summary: you and dominic finally cross paths after noticing each other at past events. but when he realizes that both of you are unimpressed by the crowd, he gives you an offer that's hard to refuse.
word count: 2.6k
inspired by 'habit' by still woozy <3 enjoy!!! i have a few requests left to do, but feel free to ask me more! i've really been on a writing kick bc i just quit my old job and don't start my new one until next week.... so im #bored.
The lights in the venue were low, casting a golden glow over the crowd as the night hummed with laughter and glasses clinking. 
It was the last party of fashion week, filled with models, designers, and the industry elite. You’d been to events like this before, blending in with the effortless crowd, sipping champagne, and chatting with familiar faces. 
Across the room, Dominic was leaning casually against the bar, dressed in dark, understated clothes that made him look effortlessly cool against the overly extravagant outfits around him. 
You’d seen him before—at events, in magazines, on TV, sometimes in the background of your friends’ posts. The two of you had mutual friends, ran in the same circles, and yet, until tonight, you'd never been formally introduced.
But tonight, you felt his gaze before you even noticed him.
You turned and caught his eye, a soft flicker of recognition passing between you. He gave a half-smile, the kind that was subtle, like he was trying not to give too much away. Still, it was enough to make your heart skip.
Your friend nudged you, noticing the connection immediately. “Holy shit! That’s Dominic Fike, isn’t it?” she asked with a big smile.
“I don’t know!” You say, knowing very well it was, “I think so.” 
After a moment of silence, your friend nudges you, “Girl! Why are you still standing here?!” She exclaims. “You should go talk to him— That man is fine.”
You rolled your eyes but felt the butterflies swarm as you glanced back at him, “No… That’s weird. I’m not just gonna walk up to him. He looks like he doesn’t wanna be bothered.”
Dominic was still leaned against the bar, a half-empty glass in his hand, scanning the room with a detached expression. 
He hadn’t come here to mingle; he was just killing time. Or at least, that was what he told himself.
But, then he saw you.
He’d noticed you before, at events just like this one, but tonight something was different. You seemed to shine even in the dim light, your presence cutting through the noise and chaos around you. 
And the way you moved through the crowd—unhurried, unbothered—made you stand out. He felt a spark of curiosity, maybe even a little envy. 
While everyone else here was posing, your quiet confidence was the real thing. You didn’t need attention; you simply had it.
You watched as multiple girls approached him, attempting to make conversation. But, there was no use; His attention was fixed on you like nothing else mattered.
At one point, you noticed him watching you closely, his gaze tracing over your face as if he were memorizing every detail. You could feel a heat in his stare, something that made your stomach flutter and your pulse race.
A moment later, he was weaving through the crowd, heading straight toward you. He wasn’t trying to be fancy, wasn’t flaunting anything—he was just… him. 
And somehow, that was more captivating than anything else around you.
“Hey,” he said as he reached you, his voice low and smooth.
“Hey yourself,” you replied, feeling the warmth of his presence like a pull you couldn’t ignore.
“You look like you don’t want to be here.”
A slight smile tugged at your lips. “You’re not wrong. I don’t know why I came, really. I don’t know why I come to any of these.”
“Well, maybe I’m glad you did,” he replied, letting his gaze linger. He watched your expression shift, your eyes searching his face for a beat before you spoke again.
“Maybe I am too.”
It was a simple exchange, but something electric passed between you. He felt it settle under his skin, an unspoken understanding that neither of you wanted to be alone tonight. 
Just standing here, looking at you, made him feel more present than he’d felt in ages. He leaned in a little closer, as if compelled by some invisible force.
“Don’t you have women to entertain or something? Seems like you’re a pretty popular face around here,” You say in your attempt to spark conversation.
“Oh, them? Nah. They all just wanna talk to me about work. About my album, Euphoria, all that stupid bullshit,” He explains, “Literally every person tonight has asked me, ‘how was working with Zendaya?’”
A small look of shock took over your face, assuming that he was just flirting with everyone that walked up to him, “Damn, that must really suck. I’m sorry that you have to put up with that.”
"Don't you have others to entertain?" He asks, as if his eyes haven't been glued to you since the moment you walked in.
"My friends... they're too busy trying to network and stuff. They keep trying to get me to do it, too. But... that's not really my thing."
Dominic smirked, leaning against the wall with a little more confidence than usual. He glanced at you, a playful glint in his eye.
“You know,” he started, “You could be my woman tonight. Keep the others away.”
You raised an eyebrow, amused. “Me?” you shot back, a teasing edge to your voice.
“Yeah, you,” he replied, unable to keep a straight face. “It’d be a pretty sweet deal, honestly. You’d get all this…” He gestured to himself, feigning a look of exaggerated confidence. “And you don’t have to be alone at this terrible party. A win-win, right?”
You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Oh, so generous of you, really,” you said, pretending to consider his offer. “How could I possibly resist?”
“Exactly,” he replied, leaning a little closer, his voice dropping to a softer, more serious tone. “But, you know, I’m kinda hoping you don’t resist. Not tonight.”
The two of you started talking, an easy conversation unfolding in the noisy room. 
He made you laugh, and every time he leaned in closer to hear you, the soft brush of his shoulder or arm against yours made your pulse race. It was as though everything else dulled, like you were the only two people in the room.
“I’m glad you took me up on my offer, because I’ve been meaning to talk to you at every event I’ve seen you at,” Dominic admits.
“You just look scary, so I never said anything,” You admit back, telling the truth. He always looked like he never wanted to be bothered, so you didn’t.
“Scary?!” He exclaims, handing you a drink from the bar. A vodka soda with a splash of cranberry and a lime. Your favorite— How’d he know?
“Not scary,” Your rephrase, “Just intimidating. You’re always talking to your friends, or standing at the bar by yourself… Staring at people.”
“Staring at you,” He adds, pursing his lips and playfully looking away.
“Mhm, I see. Is that how you knew what my favorite drink was? Because it’s like, weirdly specific.”
Dominic chuckles, “You don’t think I’m a stalker, do you?”
You shake your head, sipping your drink, “No… It’s actually kinda cute.”
As the night went on, you found yourselves in a quieter corner of the venue, away from the flashing lights and crowded bar. You laughed together, swapping stories and inside jokes that somehow felt like they'd always been between you. 
Every time he looked at you, his dark eyes softened a little more, and his smile became less guarded.
“Funny,” he murmured at one point, looking down and then meeting your gaze. “I know we just met, but feel like I’ve known you for ages.”
“Maybe we just finally had to be in the same place at the same time,” you replied softly, wondering if he could hear the hopeful tremor in your voice.
You stayed close, time slipping by without either of you noticing, until he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. 
The small gesture felt electric, his thumb gently brushing your skin. Neither of you needed to say anything; in that moment, everything felt exactly right.
The music still buzzed in your ears as you and Dominic found yourselves lingering on a sidewalk after the party, unwilling to let the night end. 
Just an hour ago, you’d barely known him—he was a face you’d noticed at a few parties, someone in the same orbit but always just out of reach. 
Yet now, he stood next to you, looking at you with an intensity that made the crowded party feel like a distant memory.
It was fashion week, and the city pulsed with late-night energy. The people around you flowed through the streets, high heels clacking, the air tinged with the faint scent of expensive cologne and fresh rain. 
But you were lost in the quiet space between you and him. 
His gaze lingered, his lips parting as though he was about to say something, only to pause, as if savoring the moment before letting the words escape.
“Do you wanna walk back to my car with me?” he finally asked, his voice soft and unassuming, yet laced with something magnetic that you found impossible to resist.
Without a word, you nodded, and the two of you drifted down the emptying streets. The city lights reflected off wet pavement, illuminating his face in shades of amber and gold. 
He stayed close, just close enough that his arm brushed against yours, as if he couldn’t bear to let the space between you grow even a little.
It was as if he wanted you right there, every moment of your attention, and the thought sent a warm thrill through you.
“It’s crazy,” he said after a while, his voice barely louder than a murmur, “Every time I see you, I always thought… well, I thought you seemed different from everyone else.”
“Different?” you echoed, your voice laced with curiosity.
He glanced at you, a small, almost shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah. Different. Like you don’t need all this—the noise, the attention. I don’t know. Just felt like you had a light of your own.”
His words settled over you, unexpectedly sincere. It wasn’t something you’d heard before, not at these parties, where charm felt rehearsed, as if everyone was reciting from a script. 
But Dominic’s words were unfiltered, and something in them made you feel seen.
“And you?” you asked, matching his tone. “Do you need all this?”
He laughed, running a hand through his hair. “Nah. I mean LA, this whole industry, at some point, it just started feeling… hollow. Nothing here is really… real.”
He looked at you as he said it, the honesty in his gaze leaving you breathless. 
The realization struck you: he wasn’t just another face in the crowd. He had been searching too, drifting through rooms filled with people yet somehow feeling alone. 
Just like you.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind getting used to this,” he admitted softly, and his fingers brushed yours, testing, lingering. “Having you around.”
A smile crept onto your face, and you felt a flutter in your chest. 
His presence felt easy yet exhilarating, like something you could get used to, something that could become habit-forming if you let it. 
But a part of you knew it was more than that—there was an unspoken pull between you, an electricity humming beneath each shared look and touch.
“It’s dangerous, feeling this way about someone this fast,” you said, your voice barely louder than a whisper.
“Maybe,” he replied, his hand finally closing over yours. “But maybe, I like a little danger.”
You continued down the quiet streets, past the glimmer of neon lights and darkened storefronts, until you found yourselves in a small park. 
The place was deserted, its benches and trees cast in shadow, a pocket of peace in the bustling city. 
Without letting go of your hand, he led you over to one of the benches, where the two of you sat side by side.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he murmured, his voice carrying a rare vulnerability. “Not now, not anytime soon.”
The words were simple, but they sent a jolt through you, his unfiltered honesty stirring something deep within. 
You looked over at him, meeting his gaze, feeling the weight of his words in the air. For the first time in a long while, the ache of being alone, of drifting through these nights without ever really connecting, began to fade.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not right now, at least,” you replied, your voice steady but soft.
A slow smile crept onto his face as he reached up, his fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your cheek. 
The touch was gentle, lingering, as though he was memorizing every part of you. And with that small gesture, the distance between you closed completely. 
For a while, you both just sat there in silence, letting the weight of the moment sink in. 
There was no rush, no sense that you needed to be anywhere else, because right here, with him, felt like exactly where you belonged.
“Come on,” he finally said, his voice low and inviting. “Let’s keep walking, my car is just up here.”
The two of you strolled through the quiet streets, side by side, feeling the world fade away. 
“So, if you hate these parties so much, why do you go to them? Truthfully.” Dominic asks out of nowhere. It was a good question— You aren’t an actress, a model, a singer. You didn’t do anything to attend. 
“Well, my job. I have an internship that gives me the opportunity to come to these,” you say, “Like I said earlier, it's for networking. You know, make connections, but I never have the courage to actually try. And I just don't feel like sucking up to people all night.”
“None of these people are really worth knowing,” The boy shrugs, “Everyone just puts on the same face. Reads the same script. It’s all fake.”
“So, why do you go?” You ask.
Dominic sighs, “My team wants me to. If I had a choice, I’d love nothing more than to stay at home, smoke a joint, and make music. But, apparently I need better publicity.”
“At least people seem to really like you. Especially the women,” You tease.
“That’s the thing, though. I hate that. Like I was saying earlier, they only want a follow back on Instagram. Tell their friends they met me. All social climbing shit,” He sighs again, his voice lowering, “But… every time I see you glance at me, pass by me, I swear, I feel weak.”
He stepped closer, the warmth of him so close you could feel the energy crackling between you. 
He was nervous, and it hit you how rare that was—Dominic, the guy who was always cool, always in control, was nervous around you.
“What do you mean?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“I mean…” He took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours,“You’ve had me wrapped around your finger for so long… I didn’t even see it coming.”
You felt your cheeks flush, your heart pounding as his hand lingered near your face. 
He was so close now, and you realized, in that moment, you’d wanted this just as much as he did. 
Slowly, you leaned into him, your hand finding his, and his fingers laced through yours as if they were meant to fit together.
When he kissed you, it was like a release, a culmination of all the little moments that had led up to this one. 
His lips were warm and soft, and there was a tenderness in the way he held you, a quiet reverence that made you feel like you were the only person in the world.
When you finally pulled back, breathless, he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closed, as if he were savoring the moment. 
“I’m glad I met you, officially— I guess now we don’t have to 
You smiled, squeezing his hand. 
He opened his eyes, his gaze full of something deep, something that had been building between you for so long. 
And for the rest of the night, his hand stayed in yours, his touch steady, as if he couldn’t bear to let you slip away now that he’d finally found you. 
As you walked together, his fingers laced with yours, it felt like he was telling you everything he couldn’t put into words: 
That he wanted you near, that he wasn’t letting go, that he could see a future for you both— one where you weren’t just two faces in a crowd but something real, something lasting.
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