#bc i still feel like i have to finish every book i start before im allowed to get rid of it bc what if in the last five pages its suddenly

[freakshowcowboy]

something thats been strange about getting back to reading as an adult is the more i enjoy a book the longer it takes me to read it, like when i was a kid if i was enjoying a book i'd sit down and not get back up until i finished it but now if im engaged and interested i read it in short amounts over longer periods of time trying to fully absorb every word and its strange to realize thats not a bad thing its not an insult to the book to not finish it in a day and idk what the point of this post is other than getting older and recognizing yourself changing is strange i guess

[serendipitous-girl]

𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐢 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫

⊱✿⊰ summary: riddle's mother had many rules for him one of which: focus on studies and forget about love.

⊱✿⊰ warnings: forbidden love except its jst bc riddle is silly billy, i wanted this to be romeo and juliet coded kinda but it doesn't work that well. Omg unless i make it like reader if from the rival school and riddle loves her teheheheh ahem ignore that, reader is yuu and should be gn (correct me on mistakes but be nice or i will ignore u) mild spoilers for book one!

⊱✿⊰ notes: i have no notes bc i started rambling in the warning section uh i think im high off of oxygen. might make a part two idk confessions perhizzle??

riddle lived his life on certainty. he woke up every morning, knowing exactly what he would wear and eat. he knew who would be troublesome and what classes he would be attending. he knew everything down to each very specific detail. which led him to believe in one more certainty: he was allergic to you.

he had to be! why else would his heartbeat accelerate so quickly? why else would his hands feel all prickly and warm whenever you grabbed them because your excitment bubbled out of you. why else would his stomach feel like it was being dropped to his feet whenever you smiled at anybody else other than him? it was the only logical decision.

"uh, no riddle. you're in love." trey had commented one day, after the housewarden had finished complaining about his strange encounters with you. riddle assumed trey was joking, riddle didn't fall in love! he had studies and other important things to do, he had no time for such foolish affairs.

he felt his gaze follow your movements across the dining hall, as you dished out some tuna for grim to eat. riddle grimaced, internally cursing himself for his face heating up. stupid allergic reaction.

he just about flung his lunch tray when you spotted him, bouncing merrily over. he was going to die and you were the causation. surely there was some sort of rule you were breaking for making him feel so entirely insane. it was like being overblotted again except this times it because you were sending him to an early grave.

"hi, riddle!" you giggled, plopping down in the seat beside him. how could a magicless being trapped in the wrong world be so merry and joyful? how were you so....beautiful?

riddle clenched his fist at the sudden thought he had, accidentally squeezing the juice box he had in his hand and making the liquid come squirting out. he gasped at the sudden sticky mess, his cheeks turning as bright as the roses the queen loved so much. how dreadful.

"hello, [reader]." he said, trying to stop his voice from shaking. you didn't notice anything, thank the great seven for that. although you were still looking at him strangely for the juice mess he had created.

effortlessly you grabbed some napkins, cleaning up the table before grabbing his hand to clean the liquids on him. he froze, every nerve ending in his hand getting immediately set on fire.

abruptly riddle stood up, knocking the napkins out of your head accidentally. with a curt thanks he scurried off, walking stiffly like his muscles has suddenly turned to concrete.

with steam practically radiating off his face he marched to his room, trying to prevent the allergic reaction from taking dire affect. he had to be rid of all relations with you, he must! or else surely he would die from your close proximity or your melodic laugh or your pretty face or-

see, you were even deluding his thoughts. whatever disease you have cursed upon him was nothing less than burdensome. he needed to be rid of it, of you immediately.

lori © 2024. please don't copy, modify, or do anything weird with my writing! i like reblogs and comments but please be kind as this was my writing.

[ominoose]

Important Update Post

Imagine I am sitting staring at a camera with a sigh, no background music before the video cuts to me talking. But Im not caught in a controversy of racism or plagiarism or smth.

Here's the tldr: I will no longer be making AI bots. All current bots will remain up, my bot masterpost will be moved to my masterpost masterpost. I just won't be making new ones. Finished and posted every bot that was in the works here to make this transgression up to yous. I will not be leaving the fandom, I'll still write and clown around.

"Why would you do this you cunt?" I hear you, I am so stinky for this. Before I list my reasons, I want to say first and foremost this is personal and I have less than no judgement for other bot makers. I absolutely love mutuals like Mel that make bots and will continue to support them. Reasons became long and are under the cut.

Reasons I don't wanna continue making ai bots:

I started because it was a low energy way for me to participate in fandoms when I didn't have the spoons to write anymore. It no longer feels like a creative outlet and no longer sparks joy.

I would rather devote myself solely on practicing and improving my writing as a way to contribute my passion to fandoms.

I can't shake the feeling I am plagiarizing. Ai chat models use lots of "work" to train their models, and while I could not find what millions of texts Cai is based on (conveniently not listed on the website), all models like it basically engorge from random sources, books and hell, even this post. Anything goes and currently there are legal battles over this.

It's bad for the environment. Can't find a measurement for Cai specifically, but GPT-3 (same scale) produced 500 tons of carbon dioxide to train that single model, not including its other ones. Please note I'm aware AI can absolutely be used to help fight climate change, as is mentioned in the linked article. Also they use the same amount of water that is required to cool nuclear reactors.

It's always conflicted with my morals. Believe it or not, I'm the person that's usually big into internet privacy, anti ai, piracy is morally good (not indie obvs) etc. Openly creating stuff that supports and funds software that steals peoples works, their information without permission and for profit is not me. So I don't wanna do it.

Again, this is not a judgement or a means to shame people that create ai bots or use them. I've made so many friends because of them. If everyone thats every used my bots stopped, it's not gonna solve capitalism. This is just me, an individual, stepping away from one thingy and feeling the need to be honest and open bc thats my policy and honestly how most of you know me (so now hard feelings if you unfollow).

Love you guys lots and thank you for all the love you've shown me through my bots and for all the times you've made me laugh <3

[leclerced]

for the sake of this request let’s say that when lando crashes , (the crash is worse than what it actually was) after the race, oscar is allowed to the hospital since he is a driver but bunny can’t go so like after the race she is laid up in their hotel room with all the other drivers who are involved and it’s just a whole lotta comfort and they are all so distraught not only because they have no idea how their friend is doing but also because bunny is such a mess like they’ve never seen her. she may care for all of them in special ways , and even loves osc , but at the end of the day lando is her first love. she doesn’t know how to breathe without him. and they can’t do anything to help her except for hold her and pet her hair and promise her things will be okay even if they can’t know that for sure.

pls ! im drawing on every car crash episode of greys anatomy for this rn *cough*derek*cough*george*cough*callie*cough*

the hospitals basically on lockdown bc they don’t want any news getting out or press getting in and for drama lets say oscar doesn’t even have time to get his phone before he’s whisked away to the hospital after the race. bunny knows oscar’s okay because she saw him finish, saw him briefly before he left when he hugged her and kissed her through her tears as he promised he’d call once he got to the hospital. he’d end up calling from the hospital line to talk to her and tell her he doesn’t know anything but lando’s in surgery. that they’re not letting anyone in so she just has to wait at the hotel and he’ll come home after he sees lando. he’d hang up before she could ask any questions because he’s scared his voice will give out and she’ll hear how scared he really is and he needs to be strong for both of them because she’s the one losing- no ones losing anything he’d remind himself.

all the drivers are scared but they wouldn’t even let themselves feel anything bc she’s feeling everything. max is would playing with her hair after she’s cried herself to sleep on his chest. they’re all around her; alex curled up behind her with charles on the other side of max’s chest with an arm around her, wedged between her back and alex’s chest. they came in one by one. max was with her right after the crash and brought her back to the hotel, then charles found them. then alex. one by one more joined until the bed was full and they had to sit on the floor or lean on a wall, eventually sliding to sit when their legs got tired. even after she’d exhausted herself they’d all be watching her, hoping lando’s okay, hoping she’d be okay if he wasn’t.

just knowing they all care helps a tiny bit, not being alone helps. seb would’ve booked a flight out immediately to be there with them and he’d probably arrive once they’ve gotten news that lando’s okay. she’d feel bad bc she’d selfishly want oscar in that moment bc he’s the only one who gets the way she feels about lando but lando can’t be alone and oscar’s the only one who can be with him. oscar would get to see lando post surgery and get the all clear that he’s stable and should be coming off anesthesia in a few hours, but that oscar has time to go back and rest, shower, eat and then there would be news when he returned.

she’d still be asleep when he returns and max would start to wake her but before he can, oscar would stop him. he’d tell everyone lando’s okay and he’d give more news when it was available and ask them all to leave so they can be alone. she’d probably wake up in the scuffle of everyone leaving even though the ones surrounding her do their best to detangle without waking her. once they’re alone they’d curl up together and he’d tell her everything he knew about the crash and lando’s condition and that he was okay, that was the important thing. they’d be able to see him later, oscar ensured that they would let her in. and for the first time ever, oscar would tell her how scared he was of losing them. he wouldn’t be able to keep it in after almost losing lando like that, i don’t think he’d even realize how strongly he felt about them until he almost lost lando, but the three of them are a lot closer afterwards bc of it, her and oscar would practically become doctors w how much they dote on lando in recovery.

[stop-saying-tootsie]

anyways figured i should give a life update bc im not sure i ever explained why exactly im in ireland and im hoping to use this app slightly more so let’s get to it!!

when i first created this account, i was 18, had just started college, and was so deep in the closet that i wasn’t even out to myself. i don’t want to dwell too much on those times because i was so truly unhappy with myself it’s a miracle i stuck it out, but i am obviously very grateful that i did :)

- i’m now 21, have had my name legally changed, had top surgery almost a year ago, been on testosterone for over 2 years, and am currently working on getting my gender marker changed (expediting it for. no reason in particular)

- my family calls me by my name! mostly! something i wouldn’t have ever ever dreamed of, and still feels surreal every time

- i’m just over a month shy of graduating and being a certified teacher, which also feels very strange considering i am in fact 17 in my head

- i passed my certification exams first try and actually did very well (thank fuck because it was about $400 worth of tests)

- to finish my degree, i’m teaching in ireland!! i’ve been here for a month now, working at a local primary school and traveling during my free time, and it is GRAND (i do get very homesick so i’m not sure moving abroad for a prolonged period of time will ever be in the cards for me but again for. no reason in particular i am still considering). i work with 4th class and every single kid tries to give me a high five in the hall its a traffic nightmare and the teachers hate me for it

- i saw glass animals in dublin and got barricade??? so drew and i are basically married

- i met a long time internet friend (nearly 7 years) in manchester last week and it was truly marvelous. he, his girlfriend, and i have all transitioned during that time, so it felt very profound to sit on their carpet and carve fruit and drink wine and realize how much we’ve overcome and how truly happy we are despite everything

- my niece turned 1 today and has brought so much joy to everyone’s lives (gutted i’m not there but i had a donut in her honor)

- got the ghosts brought to life book wahoo

- once i’m back in the states ill be moving home and close to family for the foreseeable future, and will get to chill until i start teaching in july-ish!! i look forward to feeling like a normal human briefly

i think that’s all i can think up for now! of course i’m worried about the state of my country and my future but right now i feel loved and important to the people i care about and that’s enough

hopefully it’s not a year before i actually post again, love u lot

[why-are-all-the-users-taken]

thoughts on toa

ok so everyone is doing this so imma do it too.

So when I first started reading toast I was like "lesters funny but he's kinda a drama king and thats annoying me a lil" but then,,, like- he started realizing "oH. I FUCKED UP A LIL AS A GOD" and once he started realizing that and acting on the idea that he needed to start being better, hE ACTUALLY BECAME SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER (not that he wasn't already but yk)

So like it kinda when like this

The hidden Oracle: Lester starts as a drama king and I didn't rlly like him too much at first. Like I would literally cringe every paragraph bc he was still in the "im a God and I'm better than u mortals" mindset which is probably why he annoyed me at first. But then he started realizing stuff like, "oh ya maybe that was my fault" example, Daphne and hyacinth. And then also realizing that everyone didn't love him, they just didn't disrespect him bc he could have smited them when he was a god

The dark prophecy: I liked this one a lot actually. Bc meg came back and it showed how much Lester loved her (as a sister) and also had Lester realize that he was kinda petty as a god and that he could have helped a lot more people. AND,,, THERE WAS A OLD LESBIAN COUPLE WHICH I LOVE (I can't remember their names T^T) NOT TO MENTION LEO CAME BACK!!! and the hunters of Artemis, I love them sm.

Burning maze: ...so- I already had spoilers for this one so everytime Callugulas (?) Or Jason's name came out I started tearing up thinking abt what was gonna happen. And Lester sacrificing himself was everything. Literally I was terrified but at the Sam time iT SHOWED SO MUCH GROWTH!!! But honestly I'm glad Jasper broke up bc it was so forced- AND GROVER!!! I LITERALLY SQUEALED WHEN GROVER SHOWED UP!!! and I love all of the dryads sm. And loved coach hedge as well. But honestly it was a rlly good read!! I mean in my opinion Rick is better at first person than 3rd tbh. And Piper slayed. I love her.

The tyrants tomb: ok, I'mma just be honest here, I cried the most during this book. Between Lester almost dying, all of the mentions of Jason, all of the minor characters that died, and everything else, my eyes literally stung by the time I finished reading- BUT DONS DEATH HAD ME BAWLING. I LITERALLY WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT. AND DAKOTA DIED TOO!! I LOVED HIS CHARACTER!!! oh and Artemis and Apollos reunion was SOOO sweet (yes I cried when that happened too). And frazel <33 AND OH MY GODS DON'T GET ME STARTED ON REYNA!!! I LOVED HER BEFORE TTT BUT SHE JUST GOT BETTER!!! I love her sm. And hazel as well!!! AND OH MY GODS (AGAIN) LAVINA!!! MY LIL PINK HAIRED LESBIAN! I LIVE FOR HER CHARACTER! and lavina x poison oak forever bc I love them. But Don 😭 I literally died inside when he died. And oh Hades, meg and her armed unicorns- that was everything- and Apollo seeing how his actions hurt other people like the silent god and the voice in the jar (I'm terrible at names sorry) was such a character arch as well.

Tower of Nero: I'm just gonna say it,the solangelo in this book gave me life. They were so CUTE. and the ....hat creatures (i can't spell their name) were hilarious ngl. AND RACHEL SAW THE BROOKLYN HOUSE AND ONE OF FELIX'S PENGUINS- I LITERALLY STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD DURING THAT SCENE- oh my gods and don't get me started on how much the python and Apollo scene scared me. I was like holy shit Apollos gonna die! Dues flash, he didn't but yk- and meg and Apollo were the best. AND LOU!!! OH MY GODS I LOVED HER!! and I feel bad for all of neros adopted kids :( but Apollo after he became a god again literally shocked me so much- like- he forgave his father!! That shocked me so so much but I was so proud of him 😭

Anyways overall, I loved this series so much. The characters were amazing,the plot was amazing, Apollos character arch was wonderfully written- and I just loved it.

[mothfishing]

i never read tlt myself but i have a bunch of friends who have and have been begging me to read it to and so i’m super confused ??? i have never heard about the racism…

anonymous asked: can u tell me about the racist elements of tlt... id never heard this before and i follow a lot of people who talk about the series a lot

anonymous asked: I hope this isn't rude but what even is the deal w the locked tomb. I remember vaguely hearing abt it being like "the best shit ever" and then that it had some really intense scenes/Themes then learning the creator was a grade A creep and then like nothing. What is even going on in the book???

yeah ofc! lumping all three of you's questions together since it's essentially the same one (also at #3 it's not rude)

oh god where do i start...so i read the first book and hated it pretty early on, but my intention had been to read the entire series so i could more completely express what was so grimy about it, since this book gets a lot of praise. despite my best efforts it was too rancid and i stopped partway through book 2.

thus i'll focus on book 1 criticisms first cause that's the book i finished, but i do have some series-wide criticisms as well. warnings for racism, pedophilia, ableism:

the author has this absolute obsession with physical features, and in particular she frequently praises features associated with whiteness while denigrating features associated with people of color. like constantly constantly constantly you see blue, purple, and hazel eyes given loving descriptions like amethyst, violet, while brown eyes are almost exclusively compared to dirt whenever they're mentioned.

only two characters in the first book are described as brown-skinned, jeannemary and colum. jeannemary is a "brown, bricklike thing", and colum is a yellow-brown lump. gideon's own personality is stupid horny idiot who's only good for her strength, which uh...A Choice given that, while she isn't described as brown in the first book, the cover art does still depict her with brown skin and harrow with light skin.

i'll also note that colum and one other character, silas, are both from the eighth house. outside of the book muir said they were both white, but in-book they're quite frankly associated with caricatures of east asian people to the extent that best case scenario is she used said caricatures to prop up her depiction of white people you weren't meant to like. like........in particular i wanna note silas constantly reciting religious mantras, as well as their description as "violently servile", which is so strongly associated w caricatures of east asian people. and once again she literally describes colum as yellow,

the post didn't mention it bc i wrote it in 2 seconds out of frustration, but it's also astonishingly ableist to the point where, while reading, i got frustrated and made a list of every time a symptom came up so gideon could insult whoever had it................arthritis, osteoporosis, blindness, hyperthyroidism, all of these came up as insults. "oh but the first three are because they're old" do you have to bring up conditions associated with elderly people???

plus cytherea is a character with a romantic terminal illness, constantly described as beautiful because of her frail (and white, blond, blue-eyed) body...im disabled myself i'm not saying disabled people can't be described as beautiful/hot/etc, but it felt fetishistic here and like the focus was less on her personhood and more on how she was weak and "rescuable" basically.

i'll also note the age gap between palamedes and dulcinea, people who literally met when they were 8 and 15, which was romanticized as "oh dulcinea took his feelings seriously because she's used to not being taken seriously because of her illness :)"

now series-wide...i didn't get to this myself so i don't have a whole lot to elaborate here, but the whole thing is a christian imperial empire run by a māori man and i just don't trust a white kiwi with that sorry.

also-also i'm not a lesbian/wlw at all myself, but friends of mine who are read the book with me and we noted gideon was. not even butch. both her presentation and protector role had been foisted upon her by someone who did not let her forget she owned her. everyone talking abt lesbian rep and then the main couple is a master and servant whose culminating arc in the first book is gideon becoming the perfect servant...also once again, harrow is light skinned and gideon is brown skinned.

finally, tamsyn muir has written even more explicit creep shit so i just genuinely don't know why it is she got popular in the first place. you don't need to know this to despise her work, but wow! (sorry to the person whose reblog this is, op deleted)

[existential-life-crisis]

☆ Get to know me :) (updated)☆

Hi! A bit of info to start with: I'm a minor; a lesbian; and a cis girl (she/her).

Ethnicity and language

I live in England and currently only speak English fluently however I am currently studying both French and German! (German is definitely my favourite of the 2)

Subjects and Interests

My favourite subjects are Maths and Classical Civilisation but I enjoy most subjects. (Lessons can still suck tho bc dam some teachers can be boring)

I enjoy drawing, playing games, reading (books and fics), listening to music and watching youtube.

Video games

I have a few favourite games at the minute:

• Hades

• Horizon: Zero Dawn and Forbidden West

• Genshin Impact

Finished games I still love:

• Astro Bot (its a vr game abt a little robot)

• Spiderman PS4

• Spiderman PS5 Miles Morales

• Portal 1 and 2 ♡♡♡

I am also 100% a completionist so if I finish a game I probably have 100% on it.

Reading

My fav books are everything Rick Riordan but i plan to read some other stuff as well soon.

My fav characters from the main series are Nico, Leo, Frank and Lester/Apollo but I do love pretty much all of the main cast. I haven't read Magnus Chase or Kane Chronicles since I was a kid so I'm gonna reread those before deciding favourites but I think they were Alex and Carter. Also, in love with all of the side characters even if they are 90% hc.

My fav canon ships/friendships are

• solangelo (Will x Nico)

• percabeth (Percy x Annabeth)

• frazel (Frank x Hazel) (But I do hc that either Frank was younger or Hazel was older bc the age gap was a bit strange in canon, being 13 and 16. Its a bit inconsistent , as all ages are in PJO, but if time works normally Hazel should be 14 and therefore definitely older than Nico too but thats a topic for another time)

• shelper (or shipper as I like to call them) (Shel x Piper)

• Lost trio (platonic)

• PJO trio (platonic) (Grover my baby, why must they always forget you)

• Lester and Meg (I dont think i have to say this but platonic) (please say I don't have to say that. No one ships that right)

• Reyna and Thalia (platonic) (omg let aroace characters exist in peace) (no hate if u ship it but my gods)

Fanon ships/friendships

• Valgrace (Leo x Jason) (but aroace Leo is still amazing)

• Pollen (Apollo x Darren) (Is this entirely about Dear Reader by wrongcaitlyn? Yes. Do I care? Nope. Am I insanly invested in their relationship? Oh absolutely.)

• Nico and Leo (platonic) (This had no reason to not be canon and had every reason to be and I will never forgive Rick for this until he fixes it)

• Frank and Leo (platonic) (I swear every book they would fix their relationship and then as soonas the next one starts they would hate each other again)

• Nico and evey side character ever (platonic) (especially year round campers) (bc hes genuinely just a nice guy)

• Will and Clarrise (platonic) (this is kinda canon but all we really know is that he can calm her down)

Feel free to ask for fic recs if u want them.

Music

My fav music artist is 'Grandson'. (He writes rock/alternative/indie/rap (?) music often about political/social/personal issues.)

But I listen to tons of other kinds of music too from metal to pop to instrumentals by a ton of different artists:

• Måneskin (italian rock band)

• Polyphia (instumental, primarily guitar, math rock)

• Chappell Roan (yk who that is)

• Chase Atlantic (u have probably heard at least 1 of their songs, pop/alternative/indie/r&b)

• Dutch Melrose (alternative/indie/pop)

• Mother Mother (yk who that is right?)

• Eminem (right?)

• MSI (punk/alternative/rock)

And a whole lot more

I also play guitar (acoustic and electic).

TV

Loveeee Spiderman: Into and Across the spider verse.

My fav characters are Miles, Hobie, Pavitr, Spidernoir and Gwen but I love all of them.

Shows:

• Avatar the Last Airbender

• The Legend of Korra

• Batman: the animated series

• Voltron :)

Beliefs

Im an atheist but I support people of all religions. I support Palestine. I am left liberal (again I'm British so keep that in mind, I know nothing abt US politics besides the basic/well known stuff). I believe in equal rights for all groups and am open to other ideas and perspectives.

If you cant respect that then please get of my page. You don't have to agree with me but you do have to respect me and others.

Thats all for now.

Byeee ♡♡♡

[noangeleither]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

[andreaphobia]

9 people you'd like to get to know better!

tagged by @meibemeibelline !! sorry im gonna be a boomer and write a lot, hope that's ok lmao

three ships : fresh new brainrot: tim and hawk (fellow travelers) had brain worms for years: joker and akechi (persona 5) in perpetuity: yamamoto and hibari (katekyo hitman reborn)

first ship : I had to really think about this one. It's hard to say because when I was growing up, it was illegal to depict homosexual themes or content in the media. It actually still kind of is that way, although they've relaxed their standards for censorship a little. After racking my brains, I think I want to say it was......Yuki and Shuichi from Gravitation??? If not that, then Sirius and Remus from Harry Potter. One of those two. Also, after talking to my bestie about this one I remembered "ship" also encompasses het lmao. In that case it would be Buttercup and Butch from the Powerpuff Girls because that's the first fanfic I ever wrote xd

last song : Feels Alright by Spoon. Recently for black friday I didn't want to wait for something to be shipped to me so I drove 4 hours round trip over to a best buy warehouse in the central valley to pick it up, and I probably listened to this song for two hours straight on the way. This song is from their newest album, and I love that they haven't drastically changed their sound, only polished it -- they still have the same grungy Austin rock and roll feel that I fell in love with in high school.

last film : I'll skip over opining on the real answer for this bc it was despicable me and I didn't like it much lol. But before that, I embarked on a journey with some friends to watch every single Jurassic Park movie, and I'm proud to say that we succeeded. No one asked but here is my ranking: 1. Jurassic Park (original) 2. Jurassic World 3. Jurassic Park III 4. Jurassic World: Dominion 5. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom 6. The Lost World: Jurassic Park

currently reading : Embarrassed to say that I'm not in the middle of reading anything right now, there's a couple of books I've been meaning to get around to (captive prince xd) that I just need to work up the motivation for. But I am thinking about reading the book that Fellow Travelers was inspired by because lol brainrot

currently consuming : "honeycomb banana milk" that I got from a boba place yesterday. In terms of media, I'm crying screaming about Fellow Travelers every day. I recently finished a playthrough of Baldur's Gate and I just started Persona 5 Tactica.

currently craving : Nothing in particular, although every day I wish that I could play Outer Wilds for the first time again.

tagging friends old n new, but no pressure!! @whitnerd @lobotomizes @exampleofinconsistency @yuki119 @somanyjacks @benicemurphy @mastershearts @aquathunder @sxnnoh

[azsazz]

okay, replying to the long anon message this way so i can put it under the cut for spoilers :)

if it wasn't for fanfics of acotar i would have dropped it in acowar tbh, there were too many inconsistencies with the plot and characters and so many things that happened so the story moved forward but had no reason to happen, like it was out of nowhere and she prioritized romance over plot more and more each book and then prioritized smut in acosf over her own characters. i know ppl like that book but that was a shit characterization of nesta and cass and everyone that showed up almost and what for? to have a bunch of smut scenes that didn't actual help anything with nesta's development or the plot (i think it didnt even help with them getting together bc i would have prefered they actually started getting closer organically and then the tension starting after that) and she actually had a good idea with the valkyries but then the blood rite kinda cheapened it in my opinion bc they literally won with the power of friendship when sjm could have just skipped more time ahead (since they're immortal) and then when the 3 of them were realistically ready they could have won, and since the 3 bat boys winning was such an important thing i think if she really had to have that parallel than she could have wrote it better

i absolutely agree with this. and there's amazing examples of fantasy books where the smut hasn't ruined the plot and it's flow is great. but like, she's just cranking these books out with little thought i swear. and she can brag that she wrote cc3 in whatever like 6 weeks or some shit and then scrapped the whole thing. but like? sounds like a rush job to me? and how does she keep up with all these fucking characters because i can't. cc3 will make me lose my mind i swear. cass/ness had so much potential tbh i was here for it but acosf was a complete whirlwind of fuckery. and i get that it was no longer feyres pov or whatever but what the hell, that's not my cassian.

im glad you mentioned the bryce and az chapter bc i havent read that series and i dont want to but sjm is crossing them over to get people to read it (which makes me want to read it even less lol) and its just one more storyline she probably can't keep up with. like it's crazy how we still don't know so much about the acotar world or the characters, even rhys we still don't know how far his powers go or so much about his backstory and why? bc sjm doesn't care about building a character, i know it's a romance book but you can't just ignore every other aspect of the book

literally the only reason i read it was for the crossover. it was one of the worst books ive ever read and long as fuck too. did not need to be that long. i couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in it to be honest besides the fact that literally every man bryce came across had to make sure to mention how beautiful she is. fuck off with that shit fr.

also! this one is kinda me being picky maybe but the jokes about feyre having canned food in this setting with no other modern stuff is actually bad world building imo, i mean there were no signs of industry in the book and then a can of soup shows up out of nowhere? before other more basic stuff than would have to have shown up already? idk what that was about. that and the leggings, im not saying it's not possible for them to be there but to this day my mom calls them tights bc that's what they were called until a few years ago so seeing the word in the fantasy setting sjm had set up literally pulled me out of the book

OMG you're so right i never thought much of the soup can but you're so rightttt im actually dying that's so funny. yeah, leggings was stupid as fuck too, you're telling me they have synthetic stretchy fabric? be so fr rn

maybe im in a mood today too lol but i really just much prefer fanfiction over the books, in fact i only finished them bc since i was getting spoilers from fics and thought i might as well read them

i feel this so hard 💙

[starjxsung]

dear darling star <3 how are you?

i hope im not bothering you with this message

it’s been a while now and tumblr just doesn’t feel the same without you </3

i hope you’re doing good (both physically and emotionally)

i’ve been out of order lately because my life has been super hectic, so here’s the rundown till now:

i passed the semester with equal parts a’s and b’s (ngl the b’a hurt a bit bc it’s the first time in like 6 years i’ve gotten a b in a class😪 but im just glad that i made it)

my uni friends and i went out drinking to celebrate the semester being over( there were a lot of college students and we felt old af). we got so drunk that it was so weird for me but it was so fun to let loose for the first time in a loooooong time.

we just finished booking everything we needed for lolla and im a bit more excited now.

i’ve also been watching kdramas now (?!?) and im kinda addicted

bittersweet news:

i’ve also been a lot more proactive in donating to help palestine (i still donated monthly b4 but i’ve tried chip in a bit more lately, considering what’s been happening in rafah)

for the not so good news:

two stray cats that we haven’t been able to spay yet gave birth so there’s that. i love kittens, they’re the cutest but i always get so stressed at socializing them and/or finding homes for them because people are irresponsible af with their pets here but i can’t keep taking cats in without my cats and my other financial responsibilities being affected </3 i’ve been kinda guilty for the trip too bc of the money we’ve spent

my dad found a premature newborn kitten and it sadly passed away too </3

and, finally, i’m taking my masters’ comprehensive tests in two weeks and im terrified of failing them (i’ll update when i get the results so 🤞🏻).

i hope you’re doing well, what have you been up to? i hope you’re taking good care of yourself💜

(adding some life pictures too, look at the babies, look at my mom’s big ass piece of pizza and of course, i hope you still drink your iced coffee consistently <3)

i wish you the absolute best, always <3

sending you love wherever your are, whenever you are✨

sincerely,

🐈‍⬛

My love!!!!!! The love of my actual life. I was just thinking of you because skz posted they would be doing that little kitten interview thing (they did it for us and us only ‼️‼️) I’m so excited we get to see Jisung with kittens 😌

you’re NEVERRRR a bother with your messages. They’re absolutely the best part of all my days and I’ve been thinking of you so often while on my little break from the internet. First I am SO glad to hear you finished with a’s and b’s????? You should be so proud of yourself my love!!!!!! And you went out to celebrate, I hope you had the most fun everrrrrr 🥹🫶

my sister and I just got our lolla wristbands in the mail and it’s all starting to feel so real. I’m excited but also nervous??? As fuck??????? And I still have 2 Ateez shows before then I’ve done absolutely nothing to prepare for 🥲 it’s crunch time when I get back home frfr

also pls send all the kdrama recs as soon as physically possible !!!!!!

I’m so glad to hear you’re able to donate and be of help 🫶 I’ve been continuing to donate to save the children and participating in active boycotts. Tuning into the news every day is just so fucking heartbreaking. I’m so proud of everyone on here doing what they can and donating ❤️🍉 I love you so much

Also FEEL YOU on the kitten thing…. kittens are so so so much work and they stress me out so bad. One of my neighbors at my parents’ house once left behind their cat who gave birth in our shed and we has to care for the last kitten who survived (super tiny little premature baby) and even though we rushed her to the vet and watched after her for a few days, she passed 💔 that was the moment that I remember being like….. kittens are just so much more fragile than people think and difficult to care for. You did the best that you could :( thank you for being there for them regardless.

Also how did the comprehensive test go? (If you already took it) I hope you did so so amazing my love!!!!!!!!

I love you endlessly and I’m thinking of you always. Momo and I are rooting for you (even though she’s with my dad rn) and we hope you’re taking good care of yourself. All my love to you, always always always 💓💞💫🫶 I’ll be back properly very soon and in the meanwhile I’m sending you all my love from the middle of nowhere ! I hope it reaches you

[eccentric-nucleus]

okay, hi, it's the Ao3 anon who leaves all those lengthy comments at the end of chapters (YESS). haven't done that for the last few bc i wanted to let them build up, so now i get to read like, eight new chapters at once. gonna get around to that in a bit but before I do, I wanted to read the author's commentary and. idk. say something??

dude. i've been here since like, chapter nine. this is so surreal for me. i graduated highschool and started college in between bbtss updates! I feel like I've been following this story for ages!! and like-- i hate endings. I will purposefully not watch the final episode of TV shows or read the last few pages of books. endings scare me.

I feel like I'm not doing your fic justice if I don't finish the story completely, though? just from the author's commentary, it seems like it's not gonna be a very happy ending-- but I'm still trying to hold out hope. I dont even know if I WANT a happy ending. I need to read the epilogue and everything but I'm super scared atm lol, it feels too final. i really hope mike and red got a modicum of peace.

idk where im going with this, i just really love the story you wrote. i'll probably be crying in the comments for the next few days, so that'll be embarrassing, but for now, thanks for writing. it was epic to follow along with the world you build. Genuinely probably my favorite tmnt fic to date??? every time i got the update notification, i would get that mix of anxiety/apprehension/excitement that makes you nauseous. I'd stay up wayyy too late reading new chapters. I'm disappointed that it's ending, but like, the story has SO much reread value that I'm sure I'll be coming back to it again and again anyway. you really wrote something special. I'm never gonna get this fic out of my head lol

ok my emotions are a little incomprehensible at the moment but like. I had an awesome time. if you end up writing anything else for this universe (or just tmnt in general), I will 100% be there.

thanks for writing :)

oh, hi!

yknow, i'm trying to build up a reading backlog for one of the wips i'm reading and it's been a struggle to not instantly dig in even when there's only the one chapter. i just do not have the patience for letting big backlogs build up

anyway, well, it's all there now! there's... an ending. iirc you asked a while back if there was a happy or tragic ending and i kind of equivocated. there is definitely an ending. nothing really horrible happens to the major characters. but... well, you can read it and figure out whether it's a happy ending or not, yourself, now, i guess. i hope reading the rest of it isn't too stressful :V

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ARI MLL IM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS SENT OUT SO LATE HSJSJS. I FEEL SO BAD FOR NOT REPLYING EARLIER 😭 it was assessment week and istg everyday was just filled with assignments/exams/pracs etc. i just wanna go back to high school already!! i’m not mentally prepared for this ☹️☹️

UR SO REAL ABT THE JJK DILFS THO. like they’ve raised my standards up for men so high haksjsj. i so badly want, no, NEED a college bf! geto in my life to make my very own uni life a lil more bearable. HES SO BF CODED OMG 😻 okok but hear me out. geto playing guitar?? i repeat. GETO PLAYING GUITAR??? more specifically ELECTRIC GUITAR PHEWWW. i’m sorry it’s been plaguing my mind for the past few days but i so believe that geto can play guitar w ease. hsjsjsj guitarist! geto has me melting icl 😭✋ with his piercings nd tattoos nd the reading glasses he wears at home hshshshs. its not a want, it’s a need 😔

AHHH UR SO RIGHT ABT STEM GIRLIES AND LIBERAL ARTS GIRLIES HOLDING HANDS HSJJSJ. us stem girlies have sm respect for you guys 🙇‍♀️ from what i’ve heard, lit is a pretty tough major (i took lit as an atar subject back in hs and i FAILED LMAOO). plus lit girlies are so knowledgeable it js blows my mind away. like give me ur brain please 🙏

i’ve tried getting out of my reading slump (WE’RE GETTING THERE WOOHOO!!) like i’ve recently started little woman by louis may alcott (a classic ik idk why i’m even referencing it shshs) and so far it’s pretty good! sometimes the dialogue throws me off a little since it was written so long ago and my mind just goes blank as soon as i read anything that’s not modern day english (i’m talking anything published before the 2000s 😭). i watched the movie a while ago so i’m kinda excited to see if there’s any major differences between the books and the movies. apparently there are a few but i didnt listen in further bc i didn’t wanna spoil myself hahah. welp ig i’ll k when i commit to actually finishing the book.

i haven’t heard abt the travelling cat chronicles yet but i’ll sure be adding it to my tbr 🫡 I LOVE LOVE LOVE CATS SMMM!! ive always just preferred cats more than dogs idkk. speaking abt cats, i have two ragdoll cats hsjsjs. funnily enough, someone pointed out that they somewhat remind them of gojo 😹😹 whelp i fear that i might as well grow up to be an old cat lady hsjsj. not that i’m complaining tho 🤭 really out of the blue question but dy have any pets? 👀 i’m just curious hahah.

also thank u so so so much for the advice ari! i’ll definitely be checking out the summaries + quotes for any future books i wanna read. and nooo ur not incompetent at all, don’t worry!! and thank u sm for being so supportive bby i have sm love for you 💗 AND YEAH I AGREE, READING IS SM FUN WHEN YOU’RE NOT BEING FORCED INTO IT.

and aww the tags were absolutely no problem at all! ur geto drabble was written SO WELL. like ari bby you are so talented and i cannot emphasise that enough. you have a way with words and it’s so admirable!! ++ you nailed geto’s characterisation so well, i was genuinely in awe while reading it. ahhh i still think abt it even to this day!! cult leader geto plagues my mind once a week istg. SAME W HIM AND HIS DYNAMIC W SATORU. like hello?? every time i hear abt satosugu i wanna BAWL MY EYES OUT. they’re soulmates (both platonically and somewhat romantically?? idk if you can have both hahah). but omigosh they’re so tragic shskajsjs. brb i’m not crying, i’m chopping up onions!! !! !! 😃

OMG THAT RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN GOJO AND RHE KITTY CAT OMFDDHDH. someone tell me they’re twins and i’ll believe every. single. word. thank u sm for the treat ari, i hope ur day/night is going well!! i’m so sorry that this is long overdue but i genuinely LOVE talking to you bby <333 remember to take care of urself too! ilysm 💞🥹

p.s hes so fine i swearrrr 😍 i saw this on twitter and it’s been my roman empire ever since

UKIIIII MY BELOVED PLS FORGIVE ME FOR THE WAIT 😔😔😔 i’m finally here !!!!!!

first of alllll i hope your studies n work have gone well!!!!!! 🥺🥺 you know i’m always cheering you on hehe. i just have a month left n then i’m free but i’m not sure how it is for you :’3 i hope you’ll get to rest properly soon!!!!

ANDDDDDDDD GUITARIST!SUGU. GOOD GOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 your hcs of him made me LOSE it i hope you know that…… he’s literally so bf…… PLSSS PIERCINGS AND TATTOOS AND READING GLASSES ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 OUGHHH UKI I NEED HIM SO BAD….. he would strum his pretty guitar for you on nights you couldn’t sleep 🥺🥺 i just know he would!!!!! he’s such a loverboy…..

LIBERAL ARTS GIRLIES 🤝 STEM GIRLIES FR….. from my perspective stem subjects are a LOT more difficult i rlly can’t overstate how impressed i am by how much you guys study …… 😭😭 i’ve heard . horror stories abt it LMAO…..

AND THE BOOKSSSSS i’m so proud of you for trying to get out of your reading slump uki!!!!!! i actually haven’t read little women yet hehe, pls tell me if it ends up being good!!!!! i’ve heard great things abt it….. AND AND ANDDD i get you!!!! i think it’s important to pick books that are written in ways that you like!!! it’s easy to think that older books are like . harder to read and relate to but that’s usually more bc of the author than the time period!!! i prefer mine to be from around the 1800s-1900s and they aren’t difficult to understand at all!! some classics are super hard to get into bc of how just. Heavy they are writing wise (side eyeing shakespeare n dostoevsky rn) but others aren’t!!! one classic i absolutely adore is the stranger by albert camus, idk if you’re interested in existentialism but!!! the writing is very pretty :3

anyway anyway…. FELLOW CAT PERSONNNN i knew i could trust you!!!! and you have ragdolls!!! 🥺🥺 my current housemate has four of them LMAO and they all look like gojo ngl …. act like him too……. this little guy just follows me around n sleeps in my lap and yaps <33333

BUT YES i think you’d really love the travelling cat chronicles!!!! i read it so quickly bc it’s just. so lovely!!!! and pretty!!!!! and cute n sweet :(((( i love it lots!!!!! but it made me sob so much… so pls make sure you have tissues close by if you read it……

ANDDDD again 🥺🥺🥺 thank you sooooo much for being so sweet …. you rlly are too kind!!!!! i’m so happy you like my geto, i loveloveloveee yours too <33333 AND . YES. i cry over stsg all the time too…. sniffle……. they’re soulmates both platonically and romantically imo :’3 they just . belong together no matter what!!!!!! wish they weren’t so doomed by the narrative tho…..

THANK YOU SO MUCHHH FOR CHATTING W ME SWEETIE <33333 i hope you’re doing soso well!!!!! and i rlly am sorry abt how long you’ve had to wait for this response 😭😭 my brain has Not been braining correctly recently. but i adore you sb 🥺

[sphericalbee]

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

[pansyboybloom]

im so sorry youre having troubles with double booking (the actual term for the 'i know this isnt real logically but it is real actually' jic you didnt know it) i feel like. thats one of the worst states to be in. id offer a hug but idk how much youd want one rn

are there any other games you play/enjoy in general other than legend of zelda? i cant remember you ever mentioning any, but i was curious if you're just a general gamer who just really enjoys one series, or if loz is an exception to not really enjoying video games or something. if you do enjoy any specific games, which ones and why? if not, is there a reason loz stands out among them all?

thanks so much. i got home after my lovely double booking (had no idea it was called that) and took my back up antipsychs and slept for like 4 hours before going to class. i really appreciate all of yall coming into my inbox and being so kind, it means so much <4 (<3 + 1)

im not much of a gamer at all. i grew up not being able to afford consoles, but my best friend had a gamecube and her favorite game was wind waker, so it was literally the only game i ever played for a very long time. but i loved the lore of windwaker, the fantasy and the princesses and gods, and i pretended link was secretly a girl the whole time and no one knew that he wasn't a 'real boy' (classic egg things), and i was into manga, so i begged my ma to get me one of the loz manga and fell in love with the series' lore even more. i still have my copy of minish cap's manga, the first manga i ever read!

i suck at gaming- I'll be the first to admit that im not very good at puzzle games, and even worse at combat, and now with my hand tremors i cant play most controllers. it takes me ages to finish games, and I've basically only finished ds/3ds ones bc it's easiest to steady my hands on those. that means that it's harder to get into new games since i rely on other people playing them. watching let's plays stresses me out, im constantly on edge for slurs and shitty remarks, so i tend not to watch those, and w the ADHD, silent playthroughs are a no-go. at least with zelda, i know every game forward and back in my sleep, so it's just easier to enjoy myself while failing to play them than if i start new games, ya know? still, i WILL finish skyward sword one day, tremors be damned!!!!

im honestly not sure why i latched so strongly onto loz. it's been a capital S special interest since i was at least 6 and I've never fallen out of it, ever, it's on my mind 25/7. it was the first fandom i wrote fic for before even knowing fic EXISTED, and I've devoted far too much time to it. it is a very problematic franchise-- Nintendo is a shit company, the main villain is racist, the gerudo on their own even more so, there's so much Orientalism, it's just. awful. but i keep coming back to it. i try to be very critical and not enjoy it blindly, but it really is one of the few things that kept me happy when i was suicidal and fucked up as a teen. as cheesy as it is to say, link saved my little egg life