#anyways yeah life is grand!
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anyways figured i should give a life update bc im not sure i ever explained why exactly im in ireland and im hoping to use this app slightly more so let’s get to it!!
when i first created this account, i was 18, had just started college, and was so deep in the closet that i wasn’t even out to myself. i don’t want to dwell too much on those times because i was so truly unhappy with myself it’s a miracle i stuck it out, but i am obviously very grateful that i did :)
- i’m now 21, have had my name legally changed, had top surgery almost a year ago, been on testosterone for over 2 years, and am currently working on getting my gender marker changed (expediting it for. no reason in particular)
- my family calls me by my name! mostly! something i wouldn’t have ever ever dreamed of, and still feels surreal every time
- i’m just over a month shy of graduating and being a certified teacher, which also feels very strange considering i am in fact 17 in my head
- i passed my certification exams first try and actually did very well (thank fuck because it was about $400 worth of tests)
- to finish my degree, i’m teaching in ireland!! i’ve been here for a month now, working at a local primary school and traveling during my free time, and it is GRAND (i do get very homesick so i’m not sure moving abroad for a prolonged period of time will ever be in the cards for me but again for. no reason in particular i am still considering). i work with 4th class and every single kid tries to give me a high five in the hall its a traffic nightmare and the teachers hate me for it
- i saw glass animals in dublin and got barricade??? so drew and i are basically married
- i met a long time internet friend (nearly 7 years) in manchester last week and it was truly marvelous. he, his girlfriend, and i have all transitioned during that time, so it felt very profound to sit on their carpet and carve fruit and drink wine and realize how much we’ve overcome and how truly happy we are despite everything
- my niece turned 1 today and has brought so much joy to everyone’s lives (gutted i’m not there but i had a donut in her honor)
- got the ghosts brought to life book wahoo
- once i’m back in the states ill be moving home and close to family for the foreseeable future, and will get to chill until i start teaching in july-ish!! i look forward to feeling like a normal human briefly
i think that’s all i can think up for now! of course i’m worried about the state of my country and my future but right now i feel loved and important to the people i care about and that’s enough
hopefully it’s not a year before i actually post again, love u lot
#yeah i will say being here during election time is. rough#lady at a coffee shop today literally assumed i was a trumpie bc of the state im from#and evil eyed me so hard#anyways yeah life is grand!#i miss home a lot but now that my midterm break is over time will fly#maybe i’ll even write again (don’t hold me to this)#(my creative juices have run dry and been replaced with lesson plans and evaluations)#sebcore#!!!
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kept meaning to make a post and kept FORGETTING to because i'm dumb but i cannot stop thinking of all the loose ends / introduced plots that got dropped without any warning and one that has been sticking out is persephone's "new" abilities after she "lost" her powers
we get a lackluster hint in episode 267, when apollo uses some random magic deus ex machina to "restore" persephone's powers. he starts bleeding from the nose and ears.
also apologies for the terrible quality, i forgot that lo went under daily pass and had to scour my own screenshots lmamdgjsf
it's not explained at the time whatsoever and in fact, the vagueness of the narrative kind of half-heartedly implies that it's an effect of ouranos' magic - it's also completely handwaved away, since no one bothers to ask why apollo is suddenly bleeding from the orifices and able to use persephone's powers.
it's not until persephone and hera decide to visit kronos in tartarus that persephone explains she somehow knew all along what this strange power was! she can apparently make a god rot from the inside!!!
it's not explained at ALL how she figured that out or like ... why she has that specific power. it is mentioned during the solstice where she creates winter that she can only make "decay," but that's a pretty obvious and visual thing - she's quite literally blistered the mortal realm in snow and ice, with all the plants dying on their physical surface.
important context, but other than persephone's attack on minthe, she is never seen using her powers on another person. her abilities are always on herself, or using plants / growth in some way. the fertility goddess nonsense does mean that hades and kronos are able to use her powers to strengthen themselves, but beyond that plot point being ridiculous, it's also something they don't just figure out overnight. kronos being able to escape control the underworld, and hades going godzilla mode during the trial, are clues used to eventually figure out what persephone's fertility goddess powers can do.
in regards to her new winter powers, persephone either figured it out somehow before the scene with apollo, or she figured it out after. with no explanation how.
moving from the how, we then get the last mention to this power, when persephone attempts to stop kronos
spoiler: it does not work. the power is never referenced again.
in terms of lore olympus' many crimes, it's a small thing, but it stands out to me as such a flailing attempt to write some wiggle room into the finale. rachel was struggling to get to the end, that much was obvious, and she was padding out the episodes as desperately as she could so that she could pull on any random thread and find a way to keep the plot moving. in better hands, this might have been a legitimately interesting power to explore for persephone! the goddess of spring, capable of rot, capable of such bone-deep destruction, and how she reconciles that with growth. it could have been a powerful juxtaposition, but it got abandoned as soon as rachel figured out how to give persephone her powers back. presumably, persephone still has this ability, but it is literally never brought up again. we have no idea if there was lasting damage to apollo, if it did anything in particular to kronos, what it can do to a god (the assumption is nothing, since both apollo and kronos seem just fine in their final scenes.)
it's just. amazing to go back and look through all the various strings rachel was knotting together, seeing stuff that might have been genuinely fascinating to explore in some other writer's hands! tiny little things like this, added up together to just be crapshoot after crapshoot. it's no surprise at all that rachel finished the last episode barely an hour before it went live. what a mess.
#anti lo#anti lore olympus#IM BACK BRITCHES#in the grand scheme of things does this make sense? no.#does it matter? no.#am i gonna ramble about it anyways? yeah lmao#also forgetting lo went under daily pass and seeing just the first ten or w/e episodes#and noting the colour the style the movement in the early art ...#like it was never perfect but my god it had life to it#anyways time to catch up on rekindled and whatnot
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You know when I said I'd make a Floory rug..?
So yeah, I did it.
This is your calling card to do the same. Make a rug, I triple-dog dare you. Don't know how?
Here's a breakdown of how I made The Floor:
Before fully getting into it, in that rb I said:
We could have so much mroe than what the shop offers- it could be glorious. I couldn't get tuft chin hair or flower power blush floor with $45 dollars at their store, but I could get it irl for the low low price of like a week-straight worth of work.
Ha... haha.... No. It took a lot longer than that. MUCH longer than that.
This is a little jitter lapse with the dates I worked on him. In each pic I spent around 2-3 hours working on him, except the last few in August. Those I spent like 3-5 hours on because I needed him to be finished before the semester started. My goal was to get him finished and sitting in my dorm, and I fucking did :)
= - - =
Starting from the top though, since I had the design after making the rb post linked, I decided on the size. I was watching the video showcasing him as a rug, and I gauged he was about a yard wide, so I based my measurements on that. I knew that I was going to needle punch him instead of latch hook him because I felt the punching would be faster. And well... I've done punch needling before this project so I figured it'd be faster than learning a new technique.
Here's what I mean, for a frame of reference.
Since I went the punching route, I knew he'd need a frame to be punched out on. To keep the fabric taut and all that jazz. Luckily for me I had a bunch of wood hanging around from an old bed's slots, so I made the frame out of that. Similarly, I had a bunch of fabric lying around.
Word of advice: DO NOT USE NORMAL FABRIC WITH A NORMAL PUNCH NEEDLE YOU WILL TEAR THAT SHIT UP. Learned that the hard way-
The fabric I used was NOWHERE near "loose" enough for a big punch needle. Loose in the sense that it has more holes in it. On the left is the fabric you're supposed to use when making a rug (Monk's Cloth), and on the right is the fabric I used (pic not of the exact cloth but close).
Notice that the holes on the right are a LOT smaller... I did not realise this mattered until I'd already primed the frame and drew him on with a sharpie.
Bask in his glory.
To give a breif on how I did this, I hooked my 'puter up to the TV with an HTMI, opened the image I had of him (it's a bit different than the of doodle in the rb b/c I wanted brighter colours), and literally held the wooden frame with the fabric on it up to my TV and traced it. I traced it from the inside first so that it would be mirrored on the side I would be punching on. If you draw the design you want to punch on the side you're punching on please mirror the image first.
Forgot to say, yes I had a staple gun too, so that didn't add into the price of making this Floory rug.
After this point, it was pretty smooth sailing, sorta... It would've been if I'd bought a thinner yarn for the main body. See, in this whole experiment, I was very dead set on keeping this project under $45 so I bought a large ball of cheap yarn. I tried to gauge how much I would need with the needle height (about 3/4 inch I used), but I got scared and just wound up buying this giant green ball that I needed to de-ply to work with properly. You could kinda see it in the jitter-lapse below, but yeah.
Before punching with this Red Heart size 4 yarn, I had to separate 1 of the ply FOR THE ENTIRE RUG. I had to pull out a substantial amount from the big skein, de-ply it, roll it back into a ball, then needle punch with it.
And why did I have to do this? BECAUSE I WAS USING THE WRONG FABRIC AND NEEDLE PUNCH FOR MAKING A WHOLE ASS RUG!!
I didn't know that the needle punch needle I had was an embroidery one, NOT a normal needle punch needle. Notice that it's small, and embroidery floss is the thing going through the hole and NOT size 4 yarn. And for the right, notice that it's also kinda small but the needle itself is a lot thicker, the channel that the yarn is going through is wider than the yarn itself- and that it's YARN AND NOT EMBROIDERY FLOSS.
Needless to say, it was aggravating and made the process take a lot longer than it should've. It wasn't impossible, I mean, you see him finished above and below, but it made it WAY more tedious, since a the thicker yard, even after being de-ply'd, still got stuck in the needle punch needle. After wresling with that off and on for... what about 4 months give or take, it was on to gluing and backing.
Going on the record to say that Tuft the World, Sam Made That, Shop Last., AJ MAKES, and BrokenBlvds' thread were the backbone of my glue searching, and rug-making experience. If you genuinely want to make a tuff rug (hand-punched or otherwise) their guides are so helpful <3
But for real, finding the right glue was a lot harder than anticipated. Many people said to use Roberts 3095 adhesive for rugs along with another glue, but I didn't have the funds for that, nor was planning to buy a whole gallon of rug glue I'd only for 1 project. I took up BrokenBlvds thread as my glue of choice, even though they were asking for something better. So far (about 3 months of use and a couple cleanings) the Roberts 6700 glue is holding up fine. The thing that isn't, is the yarn. After one vacuuming, fuzzies have been obscuring his eyes and junk. It's not bad, or even that noticeable, but I do miss his original state. That's what I get for using cheap yarn. I still love him to death tho.
Side tangent aside, I also used the 6700 because it has less of an odour, and I planned on bringing him to my dorm right when he was dry. While that was drying outside, I worked on the backing. The OG Floory rug had a nonslip backing attached (if I remember correctly), but mine does not! In similar fashion to the fabric of the rug itself, I also used left over fabric as his backing. For structure, I used some of my father's old uniform pants, and to make it more like dirt, I used an old bed sheet.
I stitched them together in a quilt-ish design so that the layers would be attached throughout the rug. That was a rush, but when I finished it I went out back and stuck it on there with a bit more Roberts 6700. When it was cured enough to come inside (3 days after gluing) I worked on the nonslip portion.
Had a rectangle of rug grip mat stuff, stuck some pins around the edges of Floory, traced the pins then cut it out. It's a little hard to see but looking up top, you can see a few of the pins sticking out around his edge.
After getting that, I released him from the frame, "pinked" his edges, and whip-stitched the edge shut.
That hurt my thumb SO FUCKIN BAD- Had to have pliers next to me for most of the whip-stitching, because it was so hard to get through the glue with a blunt needle. I used a blunt needle 'cause it was the only needle I had that could hold the yarn, and to keep in the spirit of the experiment... No way I was buying a needle when I had a needle that could technically work.
Now, in the name of the whole experiment, let me do a breakdown of the things I bought verse used:
Items Bought for project:
Green Red Heart Yarn - $15
Roberts 6700 Carpet Adhesive - $9
Wrong sized punch needle - $3
Total spent on Floory rug: $27
Items used in general:
9 different colours of yarn
About 1.5 yards of polyester/cotton blend fabric
1/2 of a flat sheet from a bedsheet set
1 pair of uniform pants
1 embroidery needle punch needle
4 (roughly) yard-long wood slots from a bed
Nails and screws (and the tools for those)
1 Staple gun & about 70 staples (I fucked up a lot of them & restapled)
A sewing machine
Pinking shears
Tapestry needles
etc...
Total if I had to buy all that: More than $45!
I put the lists side by side to say that I know saying "Oh just make it yourself" is easier said than done. If I didn't have all the shit I did, I would've just bought him myself like any sane person would. But no, I had the will and the materials, and I wanted The Floor in my dorm. And now here he is, along with my crazy ass Jhariah x hfjone bag...
That's for a different post- but forgive me, it's the most recent photo I have of him.
All and all, I had a good time working on him! It was very therapeutic to hunch on the floor of my living room and stab fabric a gazillion times to make The Floor from Inanimate Insanity. It drove me a bit inanimate insane, but honestly, I wake up every morning and see his face and it makes things better. So in reality, I guess you could say it was the friends I made along the way- thanks for watch
#I SPENT SO FUCKING LONG ON THIS GUY AAAHHHH#I still love him to death#I finished him in august- and yeah I'm posting this in december#sometimes life gets in the way of things#life in this case being fuckin' college#I hate it#but oooohh the freedom and having the space to actually put a floory rug without worry of him being ruined is grand <3#I'm so serious. if you have the materials and the energy to make that weird piece of fandom decor do it.#you will not regret it.#anyway tag time#needle punch#rug tufting#needle punch resources#diy#diy projects#fibre arts#rug making#inanimate insanity#osc#ii floory#ehh exaggerates
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I would love to feel fulfilled and capable, but alas, I can’t shake the feeling I am completely wasting my one precious life. I’m sure a nap will solve that. Or a pizza. Or watching a movie. Don’t even worry about it, I’ll report back with my findings.
#god I feel like dogshit all the fucking time lately#showed some of my sketches to some coworkers and they both went#‘oh you’re completely wasted here why are you doing this with your life?’#thanks nice middle aged ladies! it’s cuz we are entrenched in a capitalist helllscape!#and I regrettably need money to live and this place gives me some of that!#I’m so sick of whining all the time but I am dead inside man#I’m so tired of getting up every day and it just being more of This#‘then quit your job and start over’ regret to inform I already tried that#the voices just screaming in my head all the time that my legacy is an idiot office job and little else#make something I bellow as I stare down another momentous day of fucking depression and obligation#make something you fucking waste I roar as I struggle to do the bare minimum to keep myself alive#can’t even fuckin enjoy the show I waited a year for in peace because all I see is people shitting on it#and I’m constantly worried it’ll get cancelled a#and does that matter in the grand scheme of a world descending into fascism? no! but does it matter to the tiny part of me#kept alive by art? yeah! kinda does!#cuz art’s all that’s keeping me breathing right now and I never feel like that’s enough#Christ. anyway. back to the regularly scheduled gay shit just as soon as I can. y’know. function again.
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see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept
#ranging from vaguely upper class (niko and charles via comic logic) to presumably quite wealthy (edwin) to straight up ultrarich (crystal)#well off but doesn’t own a mansion -> owns a mansion -> owns several mansions in several countries#but yeah that aside. I don’t like the idea of him being raised upper class or even upper middle and yes I know he went to a private catholic#school that presumably costs a decent amount of money but for one we don’t Know how much exactly by that point in time (I’m assuming it was#more prestigious and expensive back in edwin’s day) and it’s not like middle class or even working class people can never afford#to send their one (1) kid to catholic school. like that’s really not too unusual. I know this is an american example but im thinking about#lady bird and her catholic school situation- her family was financially unstable and still paid for Catholic school because it was (in their#opinion) the best offering for an education in the neighborhood (and as someone who lives in the same city in the same Area of the same#city I can tell you that that choice does make sense even for a non-catholic. the public schools round here can be uhhhhhh rough)#so im seeing charles’ situation sorta like that#his dad seems like the type to want him ‘kept in line’ and ‘whipped into shape’ and I think he’d pay for that if he could manage it#idk something about charles is just……he has an appeal by being the Normal Kid amongst them. not raised as anything special. not having all#his needs met. never expecting to do anything super grand with his life. just a city kid yknow#anyway SOMEONES gotta know how to cook. I don’t think crystal or edwin have ever had to cook for themselves in their lives and niko seems to#live on instant ramen and i mean I bet she can cook very basic japanese meals but that’s about it#please for the love of god tell me charles learned some stuff from his mom and can cook an adequate meal#I know ghosts don’t eat but shut up#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives spoilers
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My uni friends want to teach me pop culture basics and im like. how do i tell you i couldnt give less of a shit
#i sometimes think im not that weird and then i talk with them#and im like ooh that's right you've stopped judging yourself by normie standards#today for example they were talking about this summer's music and i was like who are these ppl#they were like omg you must know who billie eilish is at least. i knew exactly 1 song about her and its from 2017 apparently (bad guy)#and they were like damn okay well olivia rodrigo? and i was like ooh thats the good 4 u girl isnt she#they were like 💀💀💀💀 for some reason#and the other ppl i had heard of them but couldnt even name 1 song from them like idk ariana grande chappel roan or however you write that#i literally dont even know what kind of music they make im so out of everything#no but rlly it feels like we grew up in completely different worlds what do you mean you lived only 40 mins away#(literally everyone grew up like this its not a distance thing)#but yeah now they are like omg we gotta teach you at least the basics and i was like alright but only if i can teach you tumblr culture🤑🤑#im trying to get them into tumblr rn ive gotten 2 of them to make an acc but they didnt even install the app so im working on that#we are mutuals already tho#anyways yeah we will get there eventually we can do it#mine#life#friends
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remembering how when I asked my second boyfriend out to prom (we weren't dating at the time! prom started it) our mutual friend helped me get set up with a cardboard(?) sword to kneel and present, and a sign that says "it's dangerous to go alone. take me?" and he walks through the door and says "dammit, I was gonna ask you"
I think we still have the video somewhere
#every day I thank ariana grande for 'thank u next'#like. yeah. thank you two.#im not sure i deserve the good impact my relationships with you two had on my life / I'm not sure it's mutually felt as highly#but it's. really wonderful. i'm really glad we did all of that.#sometimes I forget how genuinely very enamored brian and I were leading up to prom. there were sparks!#it's nice to randomly remember that tonight just bc it's always fun to remember where a relationship came from#where did this come from?#this morning I was remembering when I was first starting to catch feelings for Rafi#so I fished around for a while trying different possible selfie tags on their blog before finding the right one#and immediately was like. they ARE hot they ARE cute..... oh im in deep. i see#so hm. I wonder if those reflections came from the same place#or what#anyway. <3#hey brian hey quinlan. thank u. I haven't messaged you in years and I'm not sure if I should out of the blue but#I hope you're well and hope you're happy.#so much
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why does he tell me when my next shift starts five hours before it starts
#it's nine pm fuckhead#'oh are you tired?' yeah bro every day bro#tell the PUBLIC it is nine pm and you just now decided you want to start at 3am#AND you owe me ten grand#what am i doing with my life truly#imagine if i just left lmfao#anyway i'm going to go to SLEEP#yknow now that my alarm isn't set for#the TIME WORK STARTS
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but daddy i love him, part one - mv1
summary: in the world of formula 1, where competition runs deep and loyalties are tested, yn wolff and max verstappen found themselves caught in the middle . as the daughter of mercedes team principal and the rising red bull star, they must navigate the balance between rivalries and love. wc: 17k
folkie radio: HERE. IT. IS. FINALLY !!!!!!!! as i've stated before i'm absolutely terrified of posting this, this is my longest fic ever and different from what i've done before. i know it's a long read but i'm really proud of it and i think it's worth it. IN THIS FIC MORE THAN ANY OTHER. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LEAVE FEEDBACK.
DISCLAIMER: as stated in the title THIS IS PART ONE!!! part two is ready in my drafts and will be posted shortly (in a week tops). i'll stop talking now. BUCKLE UP AND ENJOY (and please leave feedback okay)
Melbourne, 2015
The hotel lobby is quiet at this hour - that strange liminal space between late night and early morning when most reasonable people are asleep. But you've never been great at reasonable, and jet lag has your body clock completely scrambled.
That's how you end up in the hotel's deserted coffee shop at 1 AM, nursing a hot chocolate and trying to calm your nerves about tomorrow.
You're so lost in thought you don't notice someone else enter until they speak.
"They're still open?"
You look up and your heart skips. Of course you recognize him immediately - Max Verstappen, the 17-year-old prodigy your father hasn't stopped talking about for months. "The next big thing," Papa had said, watching testing footage. "He's going to shake up the whole paddock, just watch."
"Sort of," you gesture to your drink, trying to keep your voice casual. "The barista took pity on me. Said she'd make one last drink before closing."
He glances at the now-dark counter and sighs. Up close, he looks even younger than in the photos you've seen, but there's something in his eyes - a fierce determination that makes you understand why everyone's been talking about him.
"Here," you push your barely-touched hot chocolate towards him. "I'm not really drinking it anyway."
He hesitates. "You sure?"
"Yeah. Probably shouldn't have caffeine at this hour anyway."
He sits across from you, taking a careful sip. "Thanks. I'm Max."
I know, you think. Everyone knows. The youngest F1 driver in history, Jos Verstappen's son, the rookie everyone's watching.
"You're not from around here," you note his accent, playing along with the pretense that you don't know exactly who he is.
"Neither are you," he grins, and something warm flutters in your stomach. His smile transforms his whole face, makes him look his age.
"Fair point. Here for the Grand Prix?"
"You could say that." He studies you, and you wonder if he can hear your heart racing. "You?"
"Something like that." You're enjoying this little game more than you probably should.
"Cryptic."
You laugh. "Says the equally cryptic stranger."
"Okay, okay." He takes another sip. "I'm one of the new drivers. Toro Rosso."
You try to hide your smile. You've watched every clip of his testing sessions, heard every conversation your father has had about his potential. "Ah. The youngest F1 driver in history. That must be a lot of pressure."
He shrugs, but you can see the tension in his shoulders, the weight of expectations already heavy on him. You know that weight - you've carried your own version of it your whole life.
"Everyone keeps saying that."
"Scared?"
"No," he answers too quickly, then sighs. "Maybe a little. You won't tell anyone I said that, right?"
There's something vulnerable in his admission that makes your heart ache. Behind all the hype and headlines, he's just a boy on the verge of something enormous.
"Your secret's safe with me." You lean back. "For what it's worth, I think you'll do great."
"You sound pretty confident for someone who just met me."
If only he knew how many hours you'd spent watching his karting videos. How many times you'd heard your father say "That Verstappen boy is going to change everything."
"Let's call it intuition."
He laughs - a genuine, unguarded sound that makes your pulse quicken. "You're different."
"Different good or different bad?"
"Just… different." He finishes the hot chocolate. "Most people, when they find out who I am, they either get weird about it or start asking about Jos."
"Your father?"
He nods, and you see a flicker of something in his eyes - the same shadow you sometimes get when people mention Toto.
"Well, I know a thing or two about father-related pressure, so…"
"Yeah?" He looks interested. "What does your father do?"
You check your watch, knowing it's time to end this little charade. "Oh wow, is that the time? I should probably head up."
"Wait," he stands as you do. "I didn't catch your name."
You pause at the door, turning back with a small smile, savoring what you know will be his reaction. "I'm YN Wolff."
His eyes widen. "Wolff? As in…"
"See you in the paddock, Max Verstappen."
You leave him standing there, but not before catching his surprised laugh. Your heart is racing as you walk away - from the deception, from his smile, from the way his eyes had lit up when he laughed.
The next morning, you spot him in the paddock. He does a double-take when he sees you with the Mercedes team, then grins and shakes his head. You're wearing your team kit now, no more pretending to be just another girl in a hotel coffee shop.
"Cryptic stranger," he mouths at you as he passes.
You just smile, trying to ignore how your stomach flips when he winks at you.
Neither of you could have known then - in that quiet hotel coffee shop at 1 AM - that this was the beginning of something that would change your lives.
Singapore, 2015
The paddock is eerily quiet now, the usual chaos of race day reduced to a whisper of distant maintenance and soft lighting. You're sitting on one of the team benches, the night air cool against your skin. Max is close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from him, close enough that the line between friendship and something more feels increasingly blurred.
It wasn't a sudden thing, this connection with Max. It had been a slow burn, a gradual unraveling that began that night in the hotel coffee shop and grew through stolen moments between races, brief conversations in crowded paddocks, and late-night messages that became increasingly frequent.
At first, it was simple curiosity. You'd catch each other's eye across the paddock, exchange a knowing smile. Then came the texts - random observations about races, inside jokes about team dynamics, comments that walked the line between friendly and flirtatious. Max had a way of making you laugh like no one else could, his wit sharp and unexpected.
He nudges you playfully. "So, daughter of the most powerful team principal in Formula 1. Must be interesting."
You roll your eyes, but there's a smile tugging at your lips. "Not as glamorous as you might think."
"Oh?" He raises an eyebrow. "Try me."
You pause, considering. The weight of your father's reputation is something you've carried your entire life - a constant backdrop to every interaction, every moment.
"Imagine," you say slowly, "having every conversation potentially recorded, every interaction analyzed. One wrong move and it's not just about you, but about your family's reputation."
Max's expression shifts. There's understanding there - he knows something about familial expectations, about the pressure of carrying a name.
"My father," he says quietly, "Jos Verstappen. Not exactly a walk in the park."
The vulnerability in his voice catches you off guard. These moments have become more frequent - brief windows where the polished racing personas fall away, revealing something raw and real.
"Tell me," you prompt softly.
He takes a deep breath. "Constant pressure. Every race, every test, every moment - it's like I'm living not just for myself, but for some expectation he's created. Sound familiar?"
You laugh, but it's a sound tinged with something harder. Sadness. Recognition. "Absolutely."
Your conversations have been like this lately - layers peeling back, revealing something raw and real beneath the polished exterior of Formula 1.
"Sometimes," Max continues, "I wonder if I'm racing for myself or for the legacy everyone else wants me to create."
Before you can respond, a voice cuts through the night. "Little Wolff?"
Lewis approaches, his team kit still impeccable despite the late hour. His eyes narrow when he sees Max, taking in your proximity.
Lewis had been a constant in your life long before Max entered the picture. Since joining Mercedes, he'd taken on a role that was part mentor, part protective older brother. It wasn't an official designation, but in the Mercedes family, it might as well have been law.
Lewis knew everything about you - your hopes, your fears and everything in between. He was more than just your father's driver. He was family.
"Oh," Lewis says, a mix of surprise and something else - protection, wariness. "Verstappen."
Max stands immediately. "I was just leaving," he says quickly, a touch of nervousness breaking through his usual confidence. "See you around."
As Max walks away, Lewis turns to you, his protective big brother persona fully activated. "What," he says slowly, "was that about?"
You start walking together, the paddock lights casting long shadows. Lewis' stride is purposeful, matching yours.
"Nothing," you say, but the word sounds unconvincing even to your own ears, "He's my friend."
"Friend," he says, uncertainty in his voice, "Just be careful, okay? Things are never that simple in this paddock" he'd said, and you knew he meant more than just about Max.
You said nothing. But you heard him. You always did.
Barcelona, 2016
The champagne sparkles in the late afternoon sun as you watch from a secluded corner of the paddock. You smile as you watch Max on that podium - the youngest winner in Formula 1 history. Your smile is wide, uncontrolled, and you're grateful for the relative privacy of your spot. If anyone noticed that your eyes never left Max, that your smile was meant only for him, they didn't say.
You remember the first time you saw him race, really race - not just in videos or testing. The raw talent, the fearlessness that made your breath catch. Over the past year, you'd watched him grow from that confident teenager in the Melbourne coffee shop into someone who commanded respect on track. And somewhere along the way, between stolen moments in the paddock and late-night conversations, he'd become so much more than just another driver.
The past year had been a dance of almost-moments and careful distances. Shared glances across crowded rooms, text messages that made you smile at 3 AM, touches that lingered just a second too long. You'd both known the complications, the impossibility of it all - the Mercedes team principal's daughter and Red Bull's rising star. It was like a modern Romeo and Juliet, except instead of warring families, it was competing Formula 1 teams.
Later that evening, you stand in your father's office doorway, heart hammering but determined. Toto is absorbed in post-race papers, reading glasses perched on his nose, looking every bit the formidable team principal even hours after the race.
"Papa?"
He looks up, his expression softening slightly at the sight of you. "Yes, Schatz?"
"I'm going out," you say, trying to keep your voice casual while mentally rehearsing your prepared explanation.
Toto's eyebrows rise slightly. "Out?"
"With some friends," you elaborate, grateful for years of practice at maintaining your composure under his scrutiny. "To celebrate the race."
He sets his papers down, removing his glasses. "Friends from the team?"
Your heart skips. "Just… friends from the paddock," you say carefully. "Daniel invited me."
"Ricciardo?" His tone sharpens slightly.
"He's always been nice to me," you reason, which isn't a lie. Daniel has been a friend since his early days, always treating you like a friend rather than just the boss' daughter.
Toto studies you for a long moment, and you force yourself to meet his gaze steadily, even as your pulse races. You've always been close to your father - he's been your hero, your guide, your biggest supporter. The weight of potentially disappointing him sits heavy in your chest.
"Be careful," he finally says, though his tone suggests he's not entirely convinced. "You know how complicated things can be in this world."
"I know, Papa," you say softly. "I'll be careful. Promise."
Getting into the Red Bull celebration is easier than expected, thanks to Daniel's help. He meets you at a side entrance, his trademark grin wider than usual.
"Looking good, Wolff," he winks, pulling you into a quick hug. "Though I'm pretty sure your dad would kill me if he knew I was helping you sneak in."
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," you say, trying to ignore the guilt that accompanies the words.
"Just…" Daniel's expression turns serious for a moment. "Be careful, yeah? With Max. He's my teammate and you're like my sister, and I don't want either of you getting hurt."
You're saved from responding by the noise of the party as he leads you inside. The atmosphere is electric - the joy of Max's first win filling the air along with music and laughter.
When Max spots you, his eyes widen, champagne glass freezing halfway to his lips. The surprise on his face quickly melts into something softer, more private. He excuses himself from his group and makes his way over, that familiar smirk playing on his lips - the one that never fails to make your heart skip.
"Should I be worried about Mercedes spies in our midst?" he teases, but his eyes are soft, drinking you in.
"You know me," you counter, matching his playful tone while trying to ignore how good he looks in his race winner's shirt, "I live for trouble."
"That you do, Wolff." He steps closer, just slightly, but enough to make your breath catch. "I didn't think you'd come."
"And miss your first win celebration? Never." You mean it to sound light, teasing, but your voice comes out softer, more sincere than intended.
"Still can't believe it," he says, shaking his head with a boyish grin that makes him look his age for once. "My first win."
"I can," you reply, taking a sip of champagne. "I've seen how you drive. It was only a matter of time."
He looks at you with an intensity that makes your heart stutter. "You've been watching me drive, then?"
"Someone has to keep an eye on the competition," you tease, but you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks.
"Is that what I am? Competition?" He moves closer, and suddenly the music seems far away.
"Among other things." Your voice comes out breathier than intended.
The conversation flows easily between you, as it always has. You talk about the race, about his incredible overtakes, about the moment he realized he was going to win. His eyes light up when he describes the feeling of crossing the finish line, and you find yourself caught between admiring his passion and getting lost in the way his hands move as he talks.
As the night progresses, the party gets louder, more crowded. Max notices you glancing around at the growing crowd.
"Want to get some air?" he asks, nodding toward a door that leads to a quieter area.
You follow him to a private terrace overlooking the city. The music is muffled here, and the night air is cool on your skin. You lean against the railing, city lights twinkling below.
"Better?" he asks, standing close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from him.
"Much." You turn to face him, drawn in by the way the lights play across his features. "Though I have to say, you throw quite a party for a rookie winner."
He laughs, the sound low and warm. "Rookie? I've been racing since before I could walk."
"Oh right, I forgot - Max Verstappen, born in a go-kart," you tease, making him smile wider.
"You're impossible, you know that?" He shakes his head, but his eyes are fond.
"Part of my charm," you counter, feeling bold in the privacy of the moment.
"Is that what you call it?" He's even closer now, close enough that you can see the flecks of gold in his eyes.
"Would you rather I was predictable?" You raise an eyebrow, challenging.
"Never." His voice drops lower, sending shivers down your spine. "Predictable is boring. And you, YN Wolff, are anything but boring."
The tension between you is electric, years of carefully maintained distance crumbling in this quiet moment. Your heart is racing so fast you wonder if he can hear it.
"Well," you say, stepping into his space until there's barely a breath between you, "I think the winner deserves a reward."
Before you can second-guess yourself, you're kissing him. It's everything and nothing like you imagined - soft at first, tentative, like you're both afraid of breaking something precious. Then his hand comes up to cup your face, and the kiss deepens, becomes more urgent. You can taste champagne on his lips, feel the solid warmth of him against you. Your fingers curl into his shirt, anchoring yourself as the world spins around you.
It's a perfect moment, suspended in time, until he pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against yours.
"You're trouble, Wolff," he murmurs against your lips, but he's smiling that smile that makes your heart flip. "Beautiful trouble."
"Scared?" you challenge softly, echoing your first conversation in Melbourne.
"Terrified," he admits, his thumb tracing your cheekbone. "But in a good way."
You stay at the party longer than you should, caught in Max's orbit. Every smile, every touch, every shared look feels charged with possibility. But reality crashes back hours later when you return.
Your dad is waiting, his expression thunderous in a way you've rarely seen directed at you. Your stomach drops as soon as you see him, the lingering warmth from Max's kisses turning to ice in your veins.
"Would you like to explain," he says slowly, each word precise and controlled, "why did I receive a call informing me that my daughter was at a Red Bull celebration?"
"Papa, I-" you start, but he cuts you off with a sharp gesture.
"Don't." His voice is hard. "Don't try to fool me. I've seen you with Max Verstappen."
The silence stretches between you, heavy with unspoken words. You want to defend yourself, explain that Max isn't just the Red Bull driver he sees, that there's more to him.
"Do you have any idea," he continues, "what position this puts me in? Puts the team in?"
"It's not about the teams," you say quietly, finding your voice. "It's just-"
"Just what?" he challenges. "Just you and him? Nothing is ever just anything in Formula 1, YN. Every action has consequences. Every relationship has implications."
"That's not fair."
"Fair?" He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "This sport isn't about fair. It's about winning. About loyalty. About trust." He pauses, letting the words sink in. "How can I trust you to put the team first when you're sneaking around with our biggest rival?"
The words hit you like a physical blow. "I would never betray the team," you whisper, hurt that he could even think that.
"Maybe not intentionally," he says, his voice softening slightly. "But this… whatever this is with Max Verstappen… it can't continue. I won't tell you again. Stay away from him."
You want to argue more, to make him understand. But you recognize the finality in your father's tone, the immovable force that has made him such a successful team principal. In this world of racing and rivalry, some lines aren't meant to be crossed.
As you leave, you touch your lips, still feeling the ghost of Max's kiss. Your phone buzzes - a message from Max: "Worth the trouble?"
You stare at the screen, tears threatening to fall. Sometimes the biggest crashes in Formula 1 aren't on the track at all. Sometimes they're in the space between what your heart wants and what the sport demands.
Germany, 2016
The German summer air is thick with tension. You can feel it crackling through the paddock like electricity before a storm. Nico and Lewis' rivalry has turned the Mercedes garage into a pressure cooker, and your father's stress is palpable. Being around him feels like walking on eggshells, which makes your secret meetings with Max even more dangerous.
You've gotten good at this dance over the past few months - stolen moments between practice sessions, hidden corners of the paddock, coded messages about "casual meetings" that are anything but casual. Every stolen kiss feels like a victory and a risk all at once.
The sun is setting over Hockenheim when you slip behind the Red Bull motorhome, your heart racing with the familiar mix of excitement and fear. Max is already there, leaning against the wall with that cocky smile that still makes your stomach flip.
"Cutting it close, Wolff," he murmurs as you approach. "Your father's been prowling the paddock all day."
"Worried?" you tease, even as you glance around to ensure you're alone.
His answer is to pull you against him, one hand sliding to your waist while the other cups your face. "About your father? Always. About this? Never."
The kiss is heated from the start - months of practice have taught you both exactly how to make each other breathless. His thumb traces your jawline as he deepens the kiss, and you press closer, fingers curling into his team shirt. You love how solid he feels against you, how his breath catches when you bite gently at his lower lip.
"You're going to get me in trouble," he whispers against your mouth, but his smile suggests he doesn't mind at all.
"You love trouble," you remind him, trailing kisses along his jaw.
His hands tighten on your waist. "I love-" he starts, but cuts himself off, choosing instead to capture your lips again in a kiss that makes you forget everything else.
You lose track of time, lost in the taste of him, the feel of his hands on your skin, the way he whispers your name like a prayer. It's dangerous and perfect and everything you shouldn't want but can't resist.
A sound makes you both freeze. You pull apart quickly, straightening your clothes, but it's too late.
Jos Verstappen stands at the corner of the motorhome, his expression dark and unreadable. Your blood runs cold at the sight of him.
"I… I should go," you manage, your voice shaky. Max's hand brushes yours briefly - a small comfort - before you hurry past his father, avoiding his stern gaze.
Behind you, you can hear Jos' voice, low and harsh in Dutch, but you don't stop to listen. Your heart is pounding as you make your way back to the paddock, wondering if this is the moment everything falls apart.
Max stands his ground as his father's disapproval fills the space between them.
"What do you think you're doing?" Jos demands in Dutch, his voice controlled but sharp. "The Wolff girl? Have you lost your mind?"
"It's not what you think-" Max starts, but Jos cuts him off.
"It's exactly what I think. You're letting yourself get distracted. By a Mercedes girl, no less. Toto Wolff's daughter?" Jos steps closer, his presence intimidating despite Max now being taller than him. "You're just starting to prove yourself in Formula 1. This is when you need to focus more than ever."
"I am focused," Max argues. "My results prove that."
"For now." Jos' voice turns cold. "But girls like that, from families like that - they're nothing but distractions. She'll get in your head, make you soft. And then what? You think Toto Wolff wants his daughter with a Red Bull driver? You think this ends well?"
Max clenches his jaw, fighting back the urge to defend you, to explain that you're different, that you understand the sport as well as he does. But he knows his father won't listen.
"Stay away from her," Jos says finally, his tone leaving no room for argument. "Focus on what matters. On winning and being champion. That's what we've worked for all these years. Don't throw it away for some girl."
The words hit harder than Max wants to admit, echoing his own doubts, his own fears about what this thing with you means. But he can't forget the way you look at him like you see past the racer, past the name, to who he really is.
Jos leaves him there in the growing darkness, with only the weight of expectations and the lingering taste of your kiss on his lips.
Monaco, May 2017
Another year, another dance of stolen moments and secret smiles. If anything, the warnings and opposition have only made whatever this is between you and Max more intense. Like a forbidden drug, each stolen moment leaves you craving more, even as the risks grow higher.
"This is a terrible idea," Max whispers as you pull him through your back door, "Your dad is literally upstairs."
"He's dead asleep," you assure him, carefully closing the door. "He took sleeping pills for his flight tomorrow. Besides, he sleeps like the dead anyway."
Max still looks like he's ready to bolt at any second. "YN, if he catches me here-"
"He won't." You tug him closer by his shirt. "Unless you keep talking so loud."
He glances nervously at the stairs. "Your room is up there? Past his?"
"Scared, Verstappen?"
"Terrified, actually." But he follows you anyway, both of you carefully avoiding the creaky third step you'd mapped out years ago during teenage sneaking attempts.
You're almost at your door when Max freezes. "Was that-"
"Just the house settling," you whisper, but your heart is racing too. "Come on, we're almost-"
A door opens down the hall.
Max actually whimpers. You shove him into your room just as Toto's voice calls out, "YN? Is that you?"
"Just getting water, Papa!" you call back, praying your voice sounds normal. "Go back to sleep."
"Everything okay?"
"Fine! Those pills should be kicking in, right?"
A yawn. "Ja, starting to feel them. Goodnight, Schatz."
"Night, Papa!"
You wait until you hear his door close before slipping into your room. You find Max standing perfectly still in the middle of the floor, looking absolutely terrified.
"I think I'm having a heart attack," he announces in a whisper. "I'm actually having a heart attack. I can see the headlines now: 'F1 Driver Dies of Fear in Team Principal's House.'"
You try not to laugh. "You're being dramatic."
"Dramatic?" His voice rises slightly before he catches himself. "YN, your father was ten feet away from me. Ten feet! Do you know what he would do to me if he found me here?"
"Well, first he'd probably have a heart attack himself-"
"Not helping!"
"Then probably murder you-"
"Still not helping!"
"And Lewis would hide the body-"
"Why did I agree to this?" He runs his hands through his hair. "I'm a professional athlete. I have championships to win. I can't die in Toto Wolff's house because his daughter is too pretty to say no to."
You wrap your arms around his neck, grinning. "You think I'm pretty?"
"I think you're trying to kill me." But his hands settle on your waist automatically. "If your father walks in right now-"
"He won't."
"But if he does-"
"Max." You kiss him softly. "Stop talking about my father when you're in my bedroom."
"Missed you," he murmurs against your mouth, hands already sliding under your shirt. "Watching you in the paddock all day, not being able to touch you…"
You smile against his lips. "Poor baby. Must be so hard being professional."
He responds by lifting you up, making you laugh as he carries you toward your bed. "You have no idea."
Hours later, you're tangled in your sheets, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your bare skin. The city's lights cast shadows across his face, making him look older than his twenty years.
"We should sleep," you say, even as you press closer to him. "You have meetings tomorrow."
"Meetings are overrated," he mumbles into your hair, but you can hear the smile in his voice.
"Says the guy who's already breaking records." Your fingers trail down his chest. "Future world champion can't skip meetings."
He catches your hand, bringing it to his lips. "Future world champion can do whatever he wants."
You fall asleep like that, wrapped in each other, pretending the world outside doesn't exist. But morning comes too soon, sunlight streaming through your windows and your alarm blaring way too early.
Max groans, burying his face in your neck. "Five more minutes."
"You said that twenty minutes ago," you remind him, even as you run your fingers through his hair. "You're already going to be late, and my father is still next room, remember?"
He lifts his head, giving you that boyish grin that still makes your heart skip. "Worth it."
But reality can't be held at bay forever. Max rushes to get dressed, stealing kisses between looking for his scattered clothes. You watch from your bed, sheet wrapped around you, trying to memorize how he looks in the morning light.
"Tonight?" he asks, pausing at your bedroom door.
"Text me," you say, and he gives you one last smile before he's gone.
Max is still smiling when he arrives at the Red Bull office, nearly an hour late for his morning meeting. The smile dies on his lips when he sees his father waiting outside, arms crossed and expression thunderous.
"You were with that girl weren't you? Nothing's changed" Jos demands without preamble, switching to Dutch.
"I was just-"
"Don't lie to me." Jos' voice is low, dangerous. "Are you trying to destroy everything we've worked for?"
"I'm not destroying anything," Max argues, frustration creeping into his voice. "My results-"
"Your results could be better," Jos cuts him off. "You could be focused on becoming champion instead of sneaking around with Toto Wolff's daughter. Do you think this is a game?"
"It's not a game-"
"Then what is it?" Jos steps closer, his presence still intimidating despite Max being taller now. "Love?" He spits the word like it's poison. "You think love wins championships? You think that girl is worth throwing away everything we've sacrificed for?"
Max clenches his jaw, the weight of years of his father's expectations pressing down on him. "I can handle both-"
"No." Jos' voice is final, absolute. "You can't. And you won't. This ends now. Cut her off."
"Or what?" The words slip out before Max can stop them, a rare challenge to his father's authority.
Jos' eyes turn cold. "Or I'll make sure Toto knows exactly what his precious daughter has been up to. How do you think that ends for her? For her relationship with her father? For her position in the paddock?"
The threat hangs in the air between them. Max feels his stomach turn to ice, knowing his father well enough to know this isn't an empty threat.
"Your choice, Max," Jos says, already turning away. "But make it soon. This distraction ends now, or there will be consequences. For everyone."
Max stands there long after his father leaves, the taste of your kisses still on his lips, now bitter with the weight of choices.
Monza, 2017
The Italian late summer heat feels suffocating as you finally corner Max behind the Ferrari motorhome - neutral territory. He's been dodging you since Hungary, responding to texts with one-word answers before stopping altogether. You've seen that look in his eyes when he spots you in the paddock - the way he quickly turns away, finds somewhere else to be.
"Hey stranger," you say, aiming for casual despite your racing heart. "Been a while."
He looks everywhere but at you, hands shoved deep in his pockets. "YN…" There's a warning in his voice that you choose to ignore.
"I've missed you," you continue, taking a step closer. "We haven't talked since-"
"We can't do this anymore." His words cut through the air like a knife.
You freeze, the practiced speech you'd prepared dying in your throat. "What?"
"This." He gestures vaguely between you, still not meeting your eyes. "Whatever this is. It has to stop."
"Just like that?" Your voice comes out steadier than you feel. "After everything?"
"I need to focus on racing." He sounds like he's reciting a rehearsed speech. "Just racing. No distractions."
The word 'distraction' hits you like a physical blow. "Is that what I am? A distraction?"
Finally, he looks at you, and for a moment you see something crack in his carefully constructed facade - pain, regret, something more. But then it's gone, replaced by a coldness you've never seen directed at you before.
"This was never going to work," he says flatly. "We both knew that. It'll only cause trouble - for you, for me, for our families. It's better to end it now."
You think about all the stolen moments, the late-night conversations, the way he'd look at you like you were the only person in a crowded room. All reduced to 'trouble'.
"Fine." You straighten your spine, channeling every ounce of Wolff pride you possess. "See you around, Max Verstappen."
You turn and walk away before he can respond, each step measured and controlled despite feeling like your world is crumbling. You make it all the way to the Mercedes motorhome before the tears start to fall.
You duck into what you think is an empty corner, trying to get yourself under control, when a familiar voice makes you jump.
"Little Wolff?"
Lewis stands there, concern etched across his features. He's known you since you were a kid, has watched you grow up in the paddock. In many ways, he's your brother.
"I'm fine," you say automatically, wiping at your eyes. "Just… allergies."
"Right," he says softly, not believing you for a second. "Because Monza is famous for its allergies."
A sob escapes before you can stop it, and suddenly Lewis is pulling you into a hug. You break down against his chest, all your carefully maintained composure crumbling.
"Hey, hey," he soothes, rubbing your back. "What happened? Who do I need to beat up?"
You laugh wetly against his shoulder. "Nobody. It's stupid. I'm stupid."
"You're one of the smartest people I know," he counters. "So whatever it is, it's not stupid."
You pull back slightly, wiping your eyes. "I just… I thought…" You shake your head. "It doesn't matter what I thought. Clearly I was wrong."
Understanding dawns in Lewis's eyes. He's not blind - he's probably noticed more than most about your relationship with Max, even if he's never mentioned it.
"Sometimes," he says carefully, "people make choices out of fear rather than what they really want. Especially in this world."
"He said I was a distraction," you whisper, the words still burning.
Lewis's expression hardens slightly. "He's young. And scared. And probably being pulled in a hundred different directions." He pauses. "Doesn't make it hurt any less though, does it?"
You shake your head, fresh tears threatening to fall.
"Come here." He pulls you into another hug. "For what it's worth, I think he's an idiot. But maybe this is for the best, he's not good for you."
You stay there for a while, letting Lewis comfort you, grateful for his presence and his wisdom. But you can't shake the image of Max's face, that moment when his mask slipped, and you'd seen the pain in his eyes. You wonder if Lewis is right - if this is really about fear rather than feeling.
But in the end, you suppose it doesn't matter. A choice is still a choice, even if it's made for the wrong reasons.
Monaco, Summer 2018
The bass thrums through your body as you down another shot, Lando cheering beside you. The club is packed - all of Monaco's elite young crowd mixed with racing's next generation. Your father would have an aneurysm if he saw you here, but that's half the fun.
"Another!" Lando shouts over the music, already signaling the bartender. He's technically too young to be here, but money and fame open most doors in Monaco.
"You're a bad influence, Norris," you laugh, but you don't stop him.
"Me?" He clutches his chest in mock offense. "I'm an angel. You're the one corrupting the youth."
"You're literally younger than me."
"Details, details." He hands you another shot. "To being young and irresponsible!"
You clink glasses with him, the alcohol burning pleasantly as it goes down. This is what you needed - no paddock politics, no disappointed looks from your father, no thoughts of…
"Oh shit," Lando says suddenly, following your gaze. "We can move to another section if you want."
Max has just walked in with a group of friends. He looks good - he always looks good - in dark jeans and a fitted black shirt. Your stomach does that familiar flip before you forcefully squash it down.
"Why should we move?" you say, perhaps a bit too loudly. "We were here first."
Lando gives you that knowing look he's perfected over the past year of friendship. "YN…"
"Don't start," you warn him. "I'm fine. It's fine. Ancient history."
"Right," he drawls. "That's why you drunk-called me crying about him last month."
"I did not!"
"'Lando,'" he mimics in a high voice, "'why doesn't he want meeeee?'"
You shove him playfully. "I hate you."
"You love me." He grins. "I'm your favorite driver now."
"You're not even in F1 yet."
"Yet!" He wraps an arm around your shoulders. "Next year though. Then I'll be beating your ex's ass on track."
"He's not my ex," you mutter. "We were never actually together, remember?"
"Right, just sneaking around making out for like a year and a half. Totally casual."
You're about to retort when movement catches your eye. Max is at the bar now, and there's a girl with him. Tall, blonde, model-beautiful. She's touching his arm, laughing at something he's saying, and he's leaning in close to hear her over the music.
"YN…" Lando's voice has that warning tone.
"I need another drink," you announce, turning back to the bar.
Three shots later, you're on the dance floor with Lando, trying to forget the scene playing out at the bar. But your eyes keep drifting over, watching as Max gets closer to the blonde, his hand now on her waist.
"Stop torturing yourself," Lando says in your ear.
"I'm not-" you start, but the words die in your throat as you watch Max lean down and kiss the girl.
Something inside you snaps. You scan the crowd, spotting a guy who's been eyeing you all night. He's good-looking enough - dark hair, nice smile, probably a trust fund kid like half the people here.
"YN," Lando tries to grab your arm, but you're already moving.
You approach the guy with purpose, channeling every ounce of confidence the alcohol has given you. "Want to dance?"
He looks surprised but pleased. "Absolutely."
You let him pull you close, perhaps closer than necessary. You can feel eyes on you - Lando's concerned ones, and maybe, just maybe, someone else's too.
The guy - you think he said his name was Alex or Alec - is a good dancer. His hands are respectful but firm on your hips as you move to the music. When he leans down to kiss you, you let him.
It's not a bad kiss. He knows what he's doing. But he doesn't taste right, doesn't feel right. His hands aren't calloused from racing. He doesn't smell like motor oil and expensive cologne. He's not… him
But you kiss him anyway. When you finally pull back from the kiss, Lando is at your elbow.
"I think we should head out," he says, glancing meaningfully at your nearly empty glass.
"I'm having fun," you protest, even as the room spins slightly. Alex-or-Alec's hands are still on your waist.
"YN." Lando's voice is firmer now. "Come on."
You turn back to Alex-or-Alec, pulling him down for another kiss. It's messy and desperate and you can taste the expensive whiskey on his breath. You're proving something, you think, though you're not sure what or to whom anymore.
Through the haze of alcohol and bass-heavy music, you hear a familiar voice.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Max is standing there, his face tight with anger. The blonde from earlier is nowhere to be seen, but there's another girl hovering behind him - brunette this time.
"Having fun," you say sweetly, pressing closer to Alex-or-Alec. "You should try it. Oh wait, you already are."
"You don't even know this guy," Max snaps.
"His name is Alex." You pause. "Or Alec."
"It's Adrian," the guy supplies helpfully.
"Whatever." Max steps forward. "You're drunk. You need to go home."
"And you need to mind your own business." You turn to Adrian with an exaggerated smile. "Want to get out of here?"
"YN," Lando pleads. "Don't."
"Sure," Adrian grins, clearly oblivious to the tension. "My place isn't far."
Max moves so fast you barely register it, suddenly between you and Adrian. "She's not going anywhere with you."
"Excuse me?" You push at his chest. "You don't get to decide that. You lost that right when you-" You cut yourself off, aware you're saying too much.
"When I what?" Max challenges, his eyes dark. "When I did exactly what you're doing right now?"
"No," you laugh, but it comes out bitter. "When you decided that sneaking around was fine until it wasn't. When you started showing up to every event with a new girl on your arm. When you-"
"YN," Lando tugs at your arm. "Not here."
You shake him off. "Go back to your girlfriend, Max. Or girlfriends. I lost count tonight."
"You're being ridiculous."
"And you're being a hypocrite." You grab Adrian's hand. "Let's go."
Max's hand closes around your wrist. "You're not leaving with him."
"Get your hands off me." Your voice is ice cold. "You don't get to play protective boyfriend when it suits you. Go find another model to add to your collection."
Something flashes in his eyes - hurt maybe, or anger. "Fine. Do what you want. You always do anyway."
"Exactly. I do what I want." You turn to Adrian. "Sorry, but I've changed my mind. Turns out I have standards."
You shake off Max's grip and push past him, heading for the exit. Lando hurries after you, already calling for a car.
"YN, wait-" Max calls after you.
"Go to hell, Verstappen."
Outside, the Monaco air is cool against your flushed skin. Lando wraps his jacket around your shoulders as tears start to fall.
"I hate him," you whisper.
"No, you don't." Lando pulls you into a hug. "That's the problem."
The morning sunlight streaming through the windows feels like actual daggers in your skull. You're nursing your third cup of coffee, wearing sunglasses indoors like the walking cliché you are, when your father's voice cuts through your hangover haze.
"Would you care to explain these?"
Toto slides his phone across the breakfast table. Your stomach drops as you see the photos - you dancing with Adrian, Max confronting you, your tearful exit with Lando. The Monaco nightlife paparazzi are relentless, and you were too drunk to notice them.
"Papa, I-"
"No." His voice is quiet but firm. That's worse than yelling. "This stops now, YN. This... rebellion phase of yours. It stops."
Lewis and Valtteri are suddenly very interested in their breakfast plates. Susie, your stepmother, places a gentle hand on your father's arm, but doesn't contradict him.
"It wasn't-"
"Wasn't what?" Toto's accent gets thicker when he's angry. "Wasn't you, drunk in a club, making headlines again? Wasn't you creating another PR nightmare for the team?"
Your head throbs. "I'm not part of the team."
"No? Then why does every tabloid headline read 'Mercedes Boss's Daughter in Club Drama with Red Bull Star'?"
You wince. Both at his words and at the volume.
"The drinking, the parties, the public scenes - it needs to stop." He leans forward. "You're not just any teenager, liebling. Everything you do reflects on this family, on this team."
"That's not fair."
"Life isn't fair." He softens slightly. "I know this past year has been... difficult."
You feel Lewis shift beside you. He knows - of course he knows. He's probably the only one at this table who knows the full story of you and Max.
"But this self-destructive behavior cannot continue." Your father's voice is final. "You're grounded."
"I'm twenty one!"
"And living on my yacht, in my house, representing my name." He raises an eyebrow. "Would you prefer to go back to boarding school?"
The threat lands. You sink lower in your chair.
"No, sir."
"Good." He turns to his own coffee. "No more clubs. No more parties. And for God's sake, no more scenes with Max Verstappen."
Your phone buzzes in your pocket. You know without looking it's probably Lando checking on you. Or worse, Max.
"YN." Your father's voice draws your attention back. "I mean it. Whatever is going on between you two... it ends now."
"Nothing is going on," you mutter.
"Then it should be easy to maintain distance."
Susie finally speaks up. "Why don't you come work with me for a while? Help with the She Moves Forward initiative?"
You know it's a peace offering - a way to keep you busy and out of trouble. But the thought of structured days and responsible tasks makes your hangover worse.
"Fine," you concede, if only to end this conversation.
Lewis nudges you under the table - a small gesture of solidarity. Valtteri offers a sympathetic smile.
"Good." Your father stands. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have damage control to handle."
After he leaves, Lewis slides a bottle of Advil towards you. "Here. You look like death."
"Thanks," you grumble, dry-swallowing two pills.
"He's right, you know," Lewis says quietly. "About Max."
"Not you too."
"YN." His voice is gentle. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. The drinking, the acting out - it's not going to make it hurt less."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Sure you don't." He stands, squeezing your shoulder. "Just... think about what you're really angry at. Because I don't think it's your father, or the team, or even Max."
"I'm going back to bed," you announce to no one in particular.
"Honey," Susie calls after you. "This doesn't have to be a punishment. Maybe it's an opportunity."
You pause at the door. "For what?"
"To figure out who you are without all the drama. Without..." she hesitates. "Without defining yourself by who you're trying to hurt."
You think about Max's face last night, about the girls he was with, about how none of it made you feel better.
"Yeah," you say quietly. "Maybe."
The air feels thick and oppressive as you stumble out of another club, the world spinning slightly. You're not entirely sure how you ended up here - after the disastrous night a few weeks ago, you'd promised yourself (and your father) that you were done with the party scene. But one text from Lando about needing to "get out" had quickly spiraled.
Except Lando had bailed last minute with food poisoning, and you'd gone anyway. Because you're nothing if not stubborn.
The familiar figure of Charles Leclerc materializes beside you. "YN? Are you okay?"
"Charles!" You throw your arms around him, nearly losing your balance. "My favorite Ferrari boy!"
He steadies you with practiced ease. "How much have you had to drink?"
"Lost count," you admit cheerfully. "But it's fine. Everything's fine."
Charles sighs, pulling out his phone. "I'm calling Lewis."
"No!" You grab for his phone but miss entirely. "Not Lewis. He'll tell Papa."
"Good. Maybe he should."
You slump against the wall, suddenly exhausted. "Everyone's so disappointed in me."
Charles' expression softens as he puts the phone to his ear. "We're worried, not disappointed."
Twenty minutes later, you hear the distinctive rumble of Lewis's car. He jumps out, concern etched on his face.
"YN? What were you thinking?"
"That alcohol makes feelings go away?" you offer weakly.
Lewis turns to Charles. "Thanks for calling me."
"Of course. Take care of her."
The ride home is quiet until Lewis finally speaks. "This has to stop."
"I know," you whisper.
"No, I mean it really has to stop. You're hurting yourself, and for what? To prove something to Max?"
"It's not about Max."
"Isn't it?"
You stare out the window, tears forming. "I need to get away from here."
"What do you mean?"
"The paddock, the drama, all of it." You turn to him. "I can't keep doing this. Being the Mercedes princess, the ex-whatever of Max Verstappen. I need… space."
Lewis is quiet for a moment. "Maybe that's not a bad idea. Take some time, figure out who you are away from all this."
"Will you help me convince Papa?"
"Yeah," he says softly. "I'll help. But you have to promise me - no more nights like this."
You nod, the weight of everything finally catching up to you. "I promise."
As Lewis helps you out of the car, you freeze. Toto is standing in the doorway, still in his sleeping clothes. Your stomach drops and fresh tears spring to your eyes - this is it, the final disappointment.
But instead of the anger you expect, your father simply opens his arms.
You practically fall into them, suddenly sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Papa. I'm so sorry."
"Shh," he soothes, holding you tight like he did when you were little. "You're alright, liebling. You're alright."
"I can't-" you hiccup against his chest. "I can't do this anymore. I need to get out of here."
"Out of where?"
"Monaco. The paddock. All of it." You pull back slightly to look at him. "I need space. To figure out who I am without… without all of this."
Toto exchanges a look with Lewis over your head. "I know," he says softly, surprising you. "I've seen it coming."
"You have?"
He cups your face in his hands, wiping away tears with his thumbs. "You're my daughter. Of course I have. I just needed you to realize it yourself."
"I'm tired, Papa," you whisper. "Of being the Mercedes princess, of the gossip, of seeing…" You trail off, but they all know what you mean. Who you mean.
"Then go," he says simply. "Find yourself. The paddock will still be here when you're ready."
"You're not mad?"
He laughs softly. "Oh, we'll discuss tonight's adventure when you're less drunk. But no, liebling. I'm not mad. Sometimes we need to step away to see things clearly."
Lewis steps forward, placing a hand on your shoulder. "We've got your back, little Wolff. Whatever you need."
Fresh tears fall as you're overwhelmed by their support. "I love you both so much."
"And we love you," Toto kisses your forehead. "Now, let's get you to bed. We can make plans tomorrow."
As they help you inside, you feel lighter somehow. Like maybe this isn't an ending, but a beginning. A chance to become someone new - or maybe to find who you've been all along, underneath the labels and expectations.
Austria, 2020
The familiar scent of rubber and fuel hits you as you step into the Mercedes garage for the first time in almost two years, your heart doing a little flip at being back after so long. Everything looks exactly the same, yet somehow different - or maybe you're the one who's different now.
"Little Wolff!" Lewis' voice booms across the garage before you're engulfed in a bone-crushing hug that lifts you off your feet. "Finally back where you belong!"
You laugh, squeezing him back just as tight. "You literally saw me at Christmas, Lewis!"
"That's not the same and you know it," he sets you down but keeps his hands on your shoulders, studying your face. "Christmas is family time. This," he gestures around the garage, "this is home."
Looking at him now, you can see the genuine joy in his eyes. Lewis has always been your second father, and these past two years, he's been your biggest cheerleader from afar, always sending encouraging messages when you were climbing mountains in Nepal or teaching English in Thailand.
"She's hardly been here five minutes and you're already monopolizing her, Lewis?" Your father's voice carries that familiar warmth that makes your chest tight with happiness. Your relationship with him has transformed during your time away - all those long phone calls and video chats where you really talked, not just about racing but about life, dreams, fears. Distance made you both realize what you'd been missing.
"Papa," you smile, walking into his open arms. He holds you close, pressing a kiss to your temple.
"Welcome home, liebling," he murmurs. "The garage hasn't been the same without you."
"I missed you too," you say, then pull back with a grin. "But I need to go see someone else before he thinks I've forgotten him entirely."
Toto laughs. "Go on then. Lando's been asking about you non-stop since he heard you were coming back."
You practically skip your way to the McLaren garage, your heart light. The past two years have given you perspective, helped you understand yourself better. You're not the angry, lost girl who fled Monaco anymore. You're stronger now, more sure of who you are outside of being "Toto Wolff's daughter" or "Max Verstappen's conquest."
"YN!" Lando's screech of delight echoes through the garage as he launches himself at you. "You're back, you're finally back!"
"I missed you so much, you idiot," you ruffle his hair, noting how he's grown even more into himself. He's not the shy rookie anymore - he's coming into his own as a driver.
"Group hug!" Carlos appears, wrapping his long arms around both of you. "Welcome back, pequeña. It's been too quiet without you here to keep this one in line."
"Oi!" Lando protests, but he's beaming.
You're in the middle of telling them about your adventures in Japan when movement catches your eye. Your words trail off as you see him - Max, walking past the garage with Christian. He's filled out more, shoulders broader, face more mature. Your heart does that familiar stutter-step it always did around him.
Two years haven't completely erased the memory of his hands on your skin, his laugh against your neck, the way he used to look at you like you were his entire world. First loves leave permanent marks, and Max Verstappen had branded himself onto your heart when you were both too young to understand the weight of it all.
He must feel your gaze because he turns, and for a moment, your eyes lock. There's something there - recognition, remembrance, maybe even regret. You see him swallow hard, his step faltering just slightly. But neither of you moves to bridge the gap.
You turn back to Lando and Carlos, forcing a smile, but your mind is still with that brief moment of eye contact. You're not that lovesick teenager anymore, but part of you wonders if you'll ever fully get over Max Verstappen. If anyone ever really gets over their first love, or if they just learn to live with the echo of what could have been.
"YN?" Lando's voice brings you back to the present. "You okay?"
You look at your friend's concerned face and give him a genuine smile this time. "Yeah, I am. Just… remembering."
Carlos squeezes your shoulder knowingly. "The past is the past, si? You're here now, that's what matters."
You nod, grateful for their understanding. You're not the same person who left two years ago, running from heartbreak and confusion. You're stronger now, wiser. Ready to write a new chapter.
Even if sometimes, just sometimes, you still feel the ghost of an old love story tugging at your heart.
Barcelona, 2020
The Barcelona night is warm and heavy with memories as you sit at the outdoor terrace of the restaurant. Daniel's telling some ridiculous story about a kangaroo, but your attention keeps drifting to the other end of the table where Max sits, deliberately positioned as far from you as possible.
Five years ago, you'd kissed him for the first time just a few streets from here. After his first win, giddy with freedom and teenage rebellion.
"So how was Bali?" Charles asks making your come back to your senses,"The surfing photos were insane."
"Almost died about twelve times," you laugh. "But worth it."
"She's exaggerating," Max comments casually, surprising everyone at the table. It's the first time he's directly addressed anything about your travels. "I saw the videos. Your form wasn't that bad."
You catch his eye across the table. "Been keeping tabs on me, Verstappen?"
He shrugs, a hint of that old smirk playing at his lips. "Hard not to when you're all over everyone's Instagram stories."
The tension at the table shifts slightly - not gone, but different. Lando kicks your foot under the table, raising an eyebrow when you look at him. You ignore him.
The conversation flows easier after that, stories and laughter bouncing around the table. You find yourself watching Max when he's not looking - the way he's grown into his features, how his laugh is deeper now, how he still runs his hand through his hair when he's trying not to smile.
As the night winds down, you end up being the last two waiting for cars. The others had filtered out gradually - Daniel dragging Charles off to some club, Lando claiming early training, Carlos heading home with his father.
"So," Max breaks the silence first, hands in his pockets. "Two years."
"Two years," you echo, leaning against the wall. "Feels longer sometimes."
"And shorter," he adds, then glances at you. "You look good. Happy."
"I am. Mostly." You study his profile in the streetlights. "You've changed too."
He laughs softly. "Had to grow up sometime, right? Can't be the paddock's problem child forever."
"No more sneaking around in garages?" The words slip out before you can stop them.
His eyes darken slightly at the memory. "Bit harder to get away with that these days. Plus, there hasn't been anyone worth the risk."
The weight of unspoken things hangs between you. All those stolen moments - behind motorhomes, in empty conference rooms, dark corners of victory parties. Never official, never acknowledged, but burning so bright it scared you both.
"Want to come up to my place?" he asks suddenly. "Just to talk. Properly. Without…" he gestures vaguely at the paddock world around you.
You should say no. But two years of distance have made you forget how magnetic he is, or maybe just made you brave enough to pretend you can resist it. "Okay."
The penthouse is exactly what you'd expect - sleek and modern, with a view that makes you catch your breath. You walk to the windows, Barcelona sprawling below like a constellation.
"Remember that night after your first win?" you ask softly. "When we snuck onto the roof?"
"Papa Wolff nearly had a heart attack," Max comes to stand beside you, close enough that your arms almost touch. "Worth it though."
"Was it?" You turn to look at him. "All of it? The sneaking around, the fights with our families, the constant hiding?"
"You know it was." His voice drops lower. "At least, it was for me."
"Max…"
"I've missed you," he admits quietly. "Not just… not just the physical stuff. I missed talking to you. Making you laugh. The way you'd roll your eyes every time I said something stupid in press conferences."
"I still do that," you smile despite yourself. "Some things don't change."
"Maybe they shouldn't." He steps closer, and suddenly you're eighteen again, heart racing at his proximity. "Maybe some things are worth holding onto."
When he kisses you, it feels like muscle memory. Your body remembers this dance - the way his hands find your waist, how he tastes like wine and possibilities. It's softer than the desperate kisses you used to share in dark corners, but somehow more dangerous for it.
You pull back first, breathing hard. "We can't."
"Why not?" His thumb traces your cheekbone. "We're not kids anymore. Who cares what anyone thinks?"
"I do," you step away, wrapping your arms around yourself. "I left to get away from this, Max. From sneaking around, from being the paddock scandal waiting to happen. I built a life where I'm not defined by who I'm secretly sleeping with or whose daughter I am."
"It wouldn't be like before-"
"Wouldn't it? The politics haven't changed. Our families still wouldn't approve."
"I don't care about any of that," he reaches for you but you step back.
"That's the problem," your voice cracks. "I had to live with all of it. The whispers, the judgment, watching my father's face every time there was another rumor about us. I can't go back to that."
"YN, please-"
"I should go." You grab your phone from the counter. "This was a mistake."
At the elevator, you turn back one last time. He's still by the window, silhouetted against the city lights. "For what it's worth," you say softly, "you were my first love. Maybe that's why we have to let it stay in the past."
The elevator doors close on his response, and you lean against the wall, heart pounding. Some part of you will probably always want Max Verstappen. But you've worked too hard to become your own person to let that want destroy everything again.
Even if walking away feels like leaving part of yourself behind.
Monaco, 2020
The yacht party is winding down, the late hour thinning out the crowd until somehow you find yourself alone on the upper deck. The Mediterranean breeze carries fragments of music and laughter from below, but up here it's quiet enough to hear your own thoughts - dangerous, when they all seem to revolve around him.
You hear his footsteps before you see him. You don't need to turn around to know it's Max - your body has always been attuned to his presence, like a compass finding north.
"Hiding?" His voice is soft as he comes to stand beside you at the railing.
"Just needed some air." It's not entirely a lie. "Shouldn't you be downstairs? This is your best friend's party."
"Daniel can handle it on his own," he shrugs, looking out at the harbor lights. "Needed some air too."
The silence that follows should be uncomfortable, but it isn't. That's the problem with Max - everything still feels as natural as breathing. Two years away hasn't changed how your body relaxes in his presence, how the air seems to crackle with possibility when he's near.
"Remember that party in Singapore?" he asks suddenly.
You smile despite yourself. "When we hid from Lewis for half of the night?"
"You were wearing that blue dress," he continues, and something in his voice makes your heart skip. "I couldn't take my eyes off you all night."
"Max…"
"I still can't," he admits quietly. "Even now. Even when I'm supposed to be focusing on other things, my eyes just… find you."
You grip the railing tighter. "We can't do this again."
"Can't we?" He turns to face you now. "Because ever since Barcelona, since that kiss…"
"That was a mistake."
"Was it?" He steps closer, and you fight the urge to move away. "Because it didn't feel like a mistake. It felt like coming home."
The words hit you right in the chest, because he's right. That's exactly what it felt like - like every cell in your body recognizing where it belonged.
"Nothing's changed," you say, but your voice wavers. "The politics, our families, the media…"
"Everything's changed," he counters. "We're not those kids anymore, sneaking around without putting a label on it because we didn't know better. I know exactly what I want now. Who I want."
"Max, please-"
"Two years, YN. Two years of watching you live your life through Instagram stories and paddock glimpses. Two years of trying to convince myself I was over you." His hand finds yours on the railing. "But the truth is, a part of me has belonged to you since that first night in Melbourne, and I don't think that's ever going to change."
You should pull your hand away. Instead, you turn it over, letting your fingers intertwine with his. "I tried so hard to become someone new," you whisper. "Traveled the world, built this whole independent life. But the moment I saw you again…"
"I know." His other hand comes up to cup your face, and you lean into the touch instinctively. "Because I felt it too."
"It scares me," you admit. "How easy it is to fall back into this. How right it feels when it should feel wrong."
"Maybe that's exactly why it isn't wrong." His thumb traces your cheekbone. "Maybe some things are just meant to be, despite everything else."
When he kisses you this time, it's different from Barcelona. That kiss had been hesitant, testing. This one feels like surrender, like finally stopping a fight you were always meant to lose. Your hands find his chest, feeling his heart racing under your palm, matching the erratic rhythm of your own.
He pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against yours. "I love you," he whispers. "You're the first girl I ever loved, and I think maybe you'll be the last. I know it's complicated, I know there are a million reasons why we shouldn't, but I don't care about any of them. I just want you."
You close your eyes, overwhelmed by the truth in his words, by how perfectly they mirror your own feelings. "I never stopped loving you," you confess. "I tried. God, I tried so hard. But it's like… it's like a part of me just belongs to you, and no amount of distance can change that."
"Then be with me," he pleads softly. "For real this time. No more running."
"How?" But you're already melting into him as he pulls you closer. "Nothing's changed, Max. My father would still lose it, Christian would still disapprove, the media would have a field day…"
"So we don't tell them." His hands slide to your waist. "We keep it between us. No sneaking around in garages this time, no risky moments in the paddock. Just us, in private, doing this properly."
You should say no. You know all the reasons why this can't work. But as his lips find yours again, you realize you're tired of fighting this magnetic pull between you.
"If anyone finds out…" you start.
"They won't," he promises. "We'll be careful. We're not those reckless kids anymore."
And maybe that's the key difference - you're not acting on impulse anymore, not diving in blindly. You're choosing this, fully aware of the consequences, of what you both stand to lose.
"Okay," you whisper against his mouth. "Okay."
When he kisses you again, it feels like every kiss you've ever shared and completely new all at once. Like coming home and starting an adventure. Like an ending and a beginning wrapped into one.
Later, you'll figure out the logistics, the careful dance of secrecy. But for now, you let yourself exist in this moment.
Some things, you realize, are worth keeping secret. Some loves are worth protecting, even if it means hiding them from the world.
Morning light filters through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Max's apartment, painting everything in soft gold. You're awake before him, taking in the familiar weight of his arm around your waist, the steady rhythm of his breathing against your neck. It feels surreal - like stepping back in time, but with the sharp edge of awareness that comes with being older.
You feel him stir, his arm tightening slightly around you. "You're thinking too loud," he mumbles against your shoulder.
"Sorry," you turn to face him, finding his eyes still heavy with sleep. "Hard not to."
He props himself up on an elbow, studying your face. The morning light makes everything feel more raw, more real. "Having second thoughts?"
"No," you say honestly. "Just… thinking about how we make this work."
"We managed before."
"And look how that ended." You trace a pattern on his chest absently. "We were reckless then. Every stolen moment was a near-miss."
He catches your hand, bringing it to his lips. "So we're smarter this time. No more risky moments in the paddock. No sneaking around where anyone could see us."
"It's not just that." You sit up, pulling the sheet with you. "Max, if this gets out… it's not just about our families being angry. It could affect your career, the team dynamics. And my father-"
"Would probably try to have me assassinated," he finishes with a half-smile, but you can see the seriousness in his eyes. "I know. Trust me, I've thought about all of it."
"And you still want this?"
He sits up too, cupping your face in his hands. "More than anything. The question is, do you?"
You lean into his touch, closing your eyes. "You know I do. That's what scares me. How much I want this, despite everything."
"Then we figure it out." His thumb brushes your cheekbone. "We're not kids anymore. We know how to be discreet. Your place, my place, private locations only. No public appearances together unless we're with the whole group. No suspicious social media activity."
"No telling anyone," you add. "Not even Lando or Charles."
"Especially not them," he agrees. "The fewer people who know, the safer it is."
You open your eyes to find him watching you with that intense focus he usually reserves for racing. "It's going to be hard," you warn. "Pretending there's nothing between us in public. Watching you from a distance at races."
"We've had years of practice at that," he reminds you softly. "At least now I get to hold you afterward."
The simple statement makes your heart clench. You lean forward, pressing your forehead to his. "When did you get so good with words?"
"Must be all those media training sessions," he smirks, but then turns serious. "I meant what I said last night. I love you. Whatever we have to do to make this work, I'm in."
"I love you too," you whisper back. "God, I really do."
He kisses you then, slow and deep, like he's trying to memorize the moment. When you pull back, you're both breathing harder.
The morning light is brighter now, reality creeping in with the rising sun. Soon, you'll have to leave separately, go back to pretending there's nothing between you. But for now, you let yourself sink into his embrace, memorizing the feeling of being here, being his.
"This is crazy, isn't it?" you murmur against his chest.
"Probably," he agrees, pressing a kiss to your hair. "But some of the best things in life are a little crazy."
You know there will be challenges ahead - difficult moments, close calls, the constant strain of secrecy. But as Max pulls you back down onto the pillows, his lips finding yours with familiar hunger, you think maybe he's right.
Some things are worth the risk. Some loves are worth keeping secret.
The key card clicks softly as you slip into Max's Monaco apartment late on September 30th. You'd made your excuses to your friends early - a headache, an important call - knowing they wouldn't question it too much since they'd already planned Max's official celebration for tomorrow.
But tonight is just for the two of you.
You find him in the kitchen, already changed into sweatpants and a soft t-shirt, pulling something from the oven. The domestic scene makes your heart flutter.
"Is Max Verstappen actually baking?" you tease, dropping your bag.
He turns with that smile that's become exclusively yours - soft, unguarded, real. "It's just heating up the cake Victoria made. I'm not completely useless."
You cross the space between you, wrapping your arms around him from behind. "Happy birthday, baby."
He turns in your embrace, backing you against the counter. "This is already better than last year's birthday."
"Mm, because last year you weren't secretly dating your rival team principal's daughter?"
"Because last year I couldn't do this," he murmurs, before kissing you deeply, hands sliding under your shirt to find bare skin. You melt into him, fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer.
The timer dings, making you both jump and then laugh.
"The cake can wait," he starts, but you push him back gently.
"Let's do this properly. Cake first, then presents, then…" you trail off suggestively.
"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes are sparkling. "But I'm holding you to that 'then'."
You sit cross-legged on his massive couch, sharing pieces of Victoria's chocolate cake straight from the tin. It's comfortable in a way that still surprises you sometimes - how easily you've fallen into these private moments, these glimpses of normalcy in your decidedly abnormal situation.
"Got you something," you say, reaching for your bag.
He raises an eyebrow. "Thought you were my present?"
"Cheesy," you throw a pillow at him, which he catches easily. "Here."
He unwraps the small package carefully. Inside is a simple leather bracelet, dark brown with a subtle pattern worked into it. "Turn it over," you say softly.
On the inside, barely visible unless you know to look, are your initials and the date from Monaco - the night everything changed.
"YN…" his voice is rough as he runs his thumb over the engraving.
"I know we can't do obvious things," you explain. "But I wanted you to have something… something that's just ours. Something you can wear without anyone knowing what it means."
He pulls you into his lap, kissing you with an intensity that makes your head spin. "I love it," he murmurs against your lips. "I love you."
"I love you too," you whisper back, heart full with how natural those words feel now. "Even if you are getting old."
He retaliates by tickling your sides until you're both breathless with laughter, ending up horizontal on the couch with you pinned beneath him.
"Twenty-three isn't old," he protests, pressing kisses down your neck.
"Ancient," you tease, but it turns into a gasp as he finds that sensitive spot below your ear. "Max…"
"Mm?"
"The cake…"
"Can wait," he finishes, hands already working on the buttons of your shirt. "Right now, I want to unwrap my other present."
Later, much later, you're tangled in his sheets, your head on his chest as he plays with your hair. The city lights twinkle through the windows, creating patterns on the ceiling.
"Thank you," he says softly.
"For what?"
"For this. For making my birthday special even though we have to hide. For loving me despite everything."
You prop yourself up to look at him, trace the line of his jaw with your finger. "Thank you for making it worth it."
He catches your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm. "Sometimes I wish we could just tell everyone. Walk into the paddock holding your hand, take you on real dates, post about you on Instagram like a normal couple."
"I know," you sigh, settling back against his chest. "Me too. But…"
"But it would cause chaos," he finishes. "I know. Doesn't stop me from wanting it though."
You lift your head again, kissing him softly. "Maybe someday. But for now, I'm happy just having you like this. These moments are ours, just ours."
His arms tighten around you. "I love you," he says again, like he can't help himself. "More than racing, more than winning, more than-"
"Don't," you laugh, pressing a finger to his lips. "Don't say more than racing. We both know that's a lie."
He grins, rolling you under him again. "Maybe it's a tie?"
"I can live with that," you smile up at him, pulling him down for another kiss.
The world outside keeps turning - tomorrow there will be the official party, the public celebrations, the careful distance you'll have to maintain. But tonight, in this space that's become your sanctuary, you can just be Max and YN, two people in love, celebrating another year together.
Even if the rest of the world doesn't know it yet.
Monaco, 2021
You're curled into Max's side on your couch, some Netflix show playing in the background that neither of you is really watching. His fingers trace lazy patterns on your arm while you scroll through your phone, both enjoying the calm before tomorrow's storm - the start of a new season, new expectations, new pressure.
"Nervous about tomorrow?" you ask, tilting your head to look at him.
He shrugs, but you can feel the slight tension in his shoulders. "Not nervous. Just… ready. The car feels good, testing went well."
"Mm," you press a kiss to his jaw. "Maybe this is your year."
"Maybe," but his smile is confident as he turns to capture your lips properly. "Though right now I'm more interested in-"
Your phone buzzes loudly, Lando's name flashing on the screen. You answer it without thinking.
"Hey Lan-"
"I'm outside your place!" his cheerful voice cuts through. "Charles and I brought wine and that awful reality show you love. Open up!"
Your heart stops. "What?"
"Come on, it's freezing out here! I can see your lights on."
You sit up straight, panic flooding your system. "Lando, I-"
"Don't even try to say you're busy. It's the night before the first race, I know you're just sitting there overthinking everything."
Max is already moving, gathering his shoes and jacket silently. Your eyes meet across the room, both knowing how catastrophic it would be if Lando found him here.
"Give me five minutes," you say into the phone, trying to keep your voice steady. "I'm… I need to put clothes on."
"Gross, too much information," Lando laughs. "Five minutes!"
You hang up, heart racing. "Shit, shit, shit."
"It's fine," Max is surprisingly calm as he pulls on his shoes. "I'll go out through the back stairs."
"What if they see you?" You're already scanning the room for any evidence of him - his Red Bull cap on the coffee table, his phone charger by the couch.
"They won't." He grabs his things efficiently, muscle memory from two years of sneaking around kicking in. "I'll text you when I'm clear."
Another knock at the door makes you both freeze. "YN!" Charles's voice this time. "We can hear you moving around!"
Max pulls you in for a quick, hard kiss. "I love you. Don't worry."
"Be careful," you whisper against his lips.
He flashes that cocky grin you love. "Always am."
You watch him disappear through your bedroom toward the back stairwell, then take a deep breath, running your hands through your hair to mess it up slightly - making your "just got out of bed" excuse more believable.
When you open the door, Lando immediately pushes past you with wine bottles clinking. "Finally! What were you really doing?"
"Told you, getting dressed." You accept Charles' hello kiss on the cheek, praying your face isn't as flushed as it feels.
"Your shirt's inside out," Charles points out, smirking.
You look down - shit, he's right. You'd thrown it on hastily after… earlier activities. "I was sleeping," you say quickly. "You guys interrupted my pre-race nap routine."
"At 9 PM?" Lando's already making himself at home on your couch - right where Max was sitting minutes ago. "Sure, sure."
Your phone buzzes with a text: "All clear. They didn't see me. Missing you already x"
Relief floods through you as Charles pours wine and Lando queues up the show. You settle into the evening, letting their familiar banter wash over you, trying to act normal even as your skin still tingles from Max's touch.
"You seem different lately," Charles observes suddenly, studying your face. "Happier."
"Just excited for the new season," you deflect smoothly, a skill you've perfected over the past year.
"Mm," he doesn't look entirely convinced. "No secret boyfriend we should know about?"
You laugh, the sound only slightly strained. "Right, because that worked out so well last time."
"Last time was Max," Lando points out. "Thank god you're both over that whole thing."
If only they knew. But you just smile and take a sip of wine, letting them move on to discussing tomorrow's race.
As the evening progresses, the wine flows and the reality show plays in the background. You're carefully avoiding any topics that might make Charles or Lando suspicious, laughing a bit too loudly at their jokes.
Lando, ever restless, decides to raid your kitchen for snacks. "Where do you keep the good stuff?" he calls out, opening cupboards.
Your heart immediately races. You know exactly what might be lurking in those cupboards - Max's favorite energy drink, a Red Bull can he'd left behind last time he was here. You stand up quickly, "I'll get it for you-"
But Lando's already moving, pulling open the refrigerator door. "Found it!" he announces, then pauses. His hand emerges holding a Red Bull can, but something else catches his eye. A water bottle with a distinctive Red Bull Racing team logo sits next to it.
"Huh," Charles looks over. "Isn't this Max's water bottle?"
You feel the blood drain from your face. "Oh, um-" Your mind races, searching for an explanation. "I... must have picked it up from somewhere. You know how these things get mixed up."
Lando turns, one eyebrow raised. The playful smile slowly morphs into something more knowing. "Mixed up, huh?"
Charles is watching you now, that sharp observant look that made him such a good racing driver now focused entirely on you.
"Yeah, I must've picked it up by accident, didn't even realize."
Lando shrugs and cracks open a packet of chips, seemingly satisfied with your explanation. But Charles continues to study you with that piercing gaze that makes you want to squirm.
Keeping this a secret is becoming harder and harder.
Silverstone, 2021
The English countryside blurs past your window as Max takes another curve, maybe a bit faster than necessary. It's nearly midnight, and you should both be resting before tomorrow's race, but these night drives have become your thing - the only time you can be truly alone during race weekends, truly free.
"You're showing off," you accuse, but you're smiling.
"Me? Never." He takes his eyes off the road for a second to grin at you, his hand finding yours across the console.
The radio plays softly in the background, some British pop song you don't know. The summer air rushing through the open windows carries the scent of grass and freedom. It feels perfect. Until it isn't.
It happens so fast - a deer appears out of nowhere, Max swerves to avoid it, but the road is narrow and dark. The tires lose grip on loose gravel, and suddenly you're spinning, the world turning into a kaleidoscope of shadows and panic.
The impact when it comes is brutal. Metal crunches, glass shatters, and everything goes still.
"YN?" Max's voice is tight with fear. "Baby, are you okay?"
You do a quick mental check. Everything hurts, but nothing seems broken. "I'm okay. You?"
"Fine." He's already trying to open his door, but it's jammed. The front of the car is wrapped around a tree, steam hissing from the hood. "Fuck. Fuck!"
Your phone is somewhere on the floor. When you retrieve it, the screen is cracked but working. "We need help."
"We can't call emergency services," Max says immediately. "It'll be all over the news in minutes."
He's right. You can already see the headlines: "Verstappen in Late Night Crash with Mercedes Boss's Daughter."
"Christian?" you suggest.
"He'll kill me. We have a race tomorrow." Max runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "We need someone who can be discreet, who has the resources to handle this quietly, who-"
You both realize it at the same time.
"No," Max says.
"He's the only one who can help us without this becoming a scandal."
"YN, he's the last person-"
"Max." You reach for his hand. "We don't have a choice."
He knows you're right. With a resigned sigh, he nods.
Your hands shake slightly as you dial Lewis's number. It rings three times before he answers, voice groggy with sleep.
"Little Wolff? It's midnight, what-"
"Lewis, I need your help. And I need you to not ask questions."
There's a pause, then rustling as he presumably sits up. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, but… we're stuck. Had an accident on the back roads near Silverstone. We need help getting the car towed without anyone finding out."
There's a pause. "We?"
You close your eyes. "I'm with Max."
The silence that follows is deafening. "Send me your location. Don't move. I'll be there in twenty minutes."
True to his word, headlights appear eighteen minutes later. Lewis steps out of his car, taking in the scene - the wrecked vehicle, you and Max standing by the roadside, the unspoken truth of why you were together at this hour.
"Are you both alright?" He asks first, concern overriding any other emotions.
"Just bruised," you answer. "The car took the worst of it."
He nods, already on his phone. "Angela's on her way with a tow truck. She'll be discreet."
Max steps forward. "Lewis, I-"
"Don't." Lewis holds up a hand. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for her." He looks at you, something sad in his expression. "How long?"
"Since last year."
He lets out a low whistle. "Well, that explains a few things."
The wait for Angela is tense. Lewis keeps his distance, occasionally speaking quietly into his phone. Max doesn't let go of your hand, thumb rubbing circles on your skin.
When Angela arrives with the tow truck, she doesn't bat an eye at the situation. The car is loaded efficiently, and arrangements are made to have it repaired at a private garage Lewis trusts.
"I'll drive YN home," Lewis says, and it's not really a question.
Max tenses beside you, but you squeeze his hand. "It's safer this way," you whisper. "Less suspicious if anyone sees us."
He knows you're right, again. "Text me when you're home?"
"Promise."
The drive with Lewis is quiet at first. Then the storm pours down.
"Of all the stupid, reckless things," he mutters, running a hand over his face. "A year? You've been sneaking around with him for a year? Again?"
"Lewis-"
"No." He turns to face you, anger and worry warring in his expression. "Do you have any idea what could happen if this gets out? What your father would-"
"I don't care!" The words burst out louder than intended, making your head throb. "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore."
"Well, you should!" Lewis's voice rises to match yours. "This isn't some game, YN. This is your life, your career, your family-"
"You think I don't know that?" You bite back. "You think we haven't spent the last year terrified of exactly that? Hiding everything, sneaking around, lying to everyone we care about?"
"Then why?" He throws his hands up in frustration. "Why risk everything for him?"
"Because I love him!" The words echo in the car. You lower your voice, tears threatening to fall. "I love him, Lewis. And he loves me. Isn't that enough?"
Lewis' expression softens slightly, but the worry remains. "Love isn't always enough, YN. Not in this world. Not with everything at stake."
"It has to be," you whisper. "Because I can't do this anymore - pretending I don't feel what I feel, acting like my heart doesn't race every time he walks into a room. I'm tired of hiding."
"He's not good for you," Lewis says quietly. "You remember how broken you were after-"
"He was nineteen," you cut him off. "We were both kids, both scared. Things are different now."
"Are they?" his voice is gentle but firm. "Because from where I'm standing, you're still sneaking around in the middle of the night, still hiding from everyone. That doesn't sound different to me."
You sink back into your seat, suddenly exhausted. "I'm not asking for your approval, Lewis. I'm just asking for you to trust that I know what I'm doing."
"Do you? Because getting into a car accident at 2 AM doesn't exactly scream good decision-making."
"That wasn't-" you start to defend, but he holds up a hand.
"You shouldn't have been out there in the first place. These secret meetings, these late-night drives… it's not sustainable, YN."
"I know," you admit quietly. "We know. We've been talking about telling people, about doing this properly."
Lewis studies your face for a long moment. "And what happens when the media finds out? When your father finds out? When the pressure becomes too much and he runs again?"
"He won't." Your voice is firm despite your injuries. "He's not that scared kid anymore, Lewis. He knows what he wants now."
"And what is that?"
"Me." You meet Lewis's gaze steadily. "He wants me. All of me, no matter what it costs. And I want him."
Lewis sighs deeply, rubbing his temples. "I can't support this, YN. I've watched him hurt you too many times."
"I know," you say softly. "And I love you for wanting to protect me. But I'm not asking for your support. I'm just asking you not to make this harder than it already is, I know you're worried. But please… please don't tell anyone. Not yet. Let us do this our way."
He doesn't respond, just pulls up the car outside your hotel and unlocks it so you can get out.
Silverstone, 2021. Race day
Your hands are still shaking slightly as you make your way through the paddock. Last night's crash left more than just physical bruises - the tension with Lewis, the close call, the reality of how fragile your secret is, it all weighs heavily.
The Mercedes garage is already buzzing with pre-race energy when you spot Lewis by his car, going through data with Peter. You wait until he's alone before approaching.
"Lewis," you say softly. "Can we talk?"
He glances around before responding, voice low. "There's nothing to talk about."
"Please. What you did last night-"
"Was a mistake," he cuts you off, finally turning to face you. "I should have called emergency services, protocol be damned."
"You know why we couldn't-"
"No, YN. You couldn't because you're sneaking around like teenagers. Do you have any idea what could have happened? If that tree had been a few inches to the left-"
"But it wasn't," you interrupt. "We're fine."
"Fine?" He scoffs. "You're both bruised, his car is wrecked, and I'm now complicit in your little romance."
"It's not a little romance-"
"Then what is it?" His voice rises slightly before he checks himself. "Because from where I'm standing, it looks like the same pattern as before. You, him, secrets, lies."
"I told you last night - I love him."
"Love?" He lets out a bitter laugh. "Love doesn't hide, YN. Love doesn't put people in dangerous situations. Love doesn't-"
"Don't." Your voice cracks. "Don't pretend you understand what we're dealing with."
"Oh, I understand perfectly. You're playing girlfriend with my biggest rival while there's a championship at stake. You're risking everything - your reputation, your father's position, the team's integrity-"
"This isn't a game to me!" The words come out sharper than intended. A few mechanics glance your way, and you lower your voice. "This isn't about the championship or the team. This is about me and him."
"Nothing in this paddock is ever just about two people," Lewis says coldly. "You of all people should know that."
Before you can respond, Bono approaches. "Lewis, strategy meeting."
"I need to focus," Lewis tells you, his expression hardening. "I suggest you figure out where your loyalties lie before someone gets really hurt."
He walks away, leaving you standing there with a hollow feeling in your chest. Angela catches your eye, her expression sympathetic, and you wonder how much she knows.
The pre-race preparations pass in a blur. You go through the motions, smile when appropriate, but your mind keeps drifting to Max. You haven't seen him since Lewis dropped you off last night - you both agreed it was safer to stay apart until the race.
Then you're in the garage, watching the formation lap. Your father stands beside you, discussing something with the engineers, but their words sound distant.
Lap one. Copse Corner.
The contact happens so fast - Lewis's Mercedes alongside Max's Red Bull. The touch of wheels. Then Max's car is airborne, spinning, crashing into the barriers with devastating force.
The garage erupts in chaos. Screens show the replay from every angle. Your father is immediately in discussion with the stewards.
You can't breathe. Can't move. Your eyes are fixed on the smoking wreck of Max's car, willing him to move, to get out, to be okay.
"Racing incident," Toto argues. "Lewis had the line-"
Their voices fade to background noise as you watch the medical team reach the car. Your phone feels heavy in your pocket, but you can't check it - not here, not with everyone watching.
"YN," Angela touches your arm gently. "You look pale. Maybe some water?"
You follow her away from the garage, grateful for the excuse. As soon as you're out of sight, your composure breaks.
"I don't know if he's okay," you whisper, hands shaking. "I can't- I can't check my phone, I can't ask anyone, I can't-"
"Breathe," Angela steadies you. "Just breathe."
"I should be there. I should be with him. After last night, after everything-"
"I won't say anything," she promises quickly. "But YN... this is bigger than just keeping a secret now."
"I know," you admit. "God, I know. But I can't- I can't even ask if he's okay without raising suspicions."
The race continues. Lewis gets a ten-second penalty but fights back to win. The garage celebrates, and you have to join in, have to smile and cheer while your heart is somewhere else entirely.
Hours pass with no news. Social media is full of speculation, but nothing concrete. You catch snippets of conversation - "hospital for checks" and "conscious but shaken" - but nothing official.
It's torture, pretending everything is normal. Pretending you're just concerned in a general, professional way. Pretending last night never happened, that you don't still have bruises from a different crash, that your world isn't falling apart all over again.
Finally, after what feels like years, you manage to slip away to the Red Bull motorhome.
The motorhome is quiet when you enter. GP looks up from his laptop, surprise crossing his features.
"YN? You shouldn't-"
"Please," your voice breaks. "Please, I need to see him."
GP studies you for a long moment, then sighs. "Last door on the right. But be careful - he's pretty beaten up."
You find Max lying on the small bed, eyes closed but breathing steady. The room smells of medical cream and defeat.
"Max?" Your voice is barely a whisper.
His eyes open immediately, finding yours in the dim light. Despite everything, his lips curve into a small smile.
"Two crashes in twenty-four hours," he mumbles. "Must be some kind of record."
"Don't," tears spill over finally. "Don't joke. Not now."
"Come here," he tries to move over but winces.
"Careful," you rush to his side, perching carefully on the edge of the bed. "How bad is it?"
"Everything hurts," he admits. "But nothing's broken. Well, except my championship lead."
"I was so scared," your voice breaks. "When I saw the crash, and then I couldn't- I couldn't even ask if you were okay. I had to stand there and pretend like I wasn't terrified."
"Hey," he reaches for your hand, wincing at the movement. "I'm okay. Well, relatively speaking."
"This is my fault," you whisper. "If I hadn't called Lewis last night-"
"Stop," he squeezes your hand. "This had nothing to do with last night."
"Didn't it? He was so angry this morning, about us, about having to help us-"
"Lewis and I race hard regardless of personal feelings," Max says firmly. "What happened today was racing. Stupid, dangerous racing, but still racing."
You study his face in the dim light, cataloging every bruise, every sign of pain he's trying to hide, "Max, don't you think it's time?"
"Time?"
"To tell people. About us." The words rush out now that you've started. "I can't keep doing this - watching you race and pretending I don't care, hiding how I feel, lying to everyone we know. Today made me realize… if something had happened to you, really happened…"
He's quiet for a long moment, thumb tracing patterns on your hand. "What about your father?"
"I don't care anymore. Well, I do care, but… not more than I care about you. About us." You meet his eyes. "When the season's over. Before next year starts. We tell everyone."
"You're sure?"
"Are you?"
He pulls you closer, carefully, until you're lying beside him. "I'm sure if you are."
"Even with the championship? The media circus it'll cause?"
"Especially then." He kisses your forehead. "Today… when I hit that barrier, all I could think about was you. Not the championship, not the points, just… you. And how much time we've wasted hiding."
You curl into his side, mindful of his bruises. "So we're agreed? After Abu Dhabi, whatever happens with the championship…"
"We tell everyone." He lifts your chin to kiss you properly. "No more hiding."
"Promise?" You need to hear him say it.
"Promise," he pulls you closer, careful of both your injuries. "Besides, after last night's adventure and today's crash, I think we've filled our drama quota for a while."
You stay there, tangled together in the quiet darkness, both battered from different crashes but somehow still whole.
"I should go," you whisper eventually. "Before someone comes looking."
"One of the last times we'll have to say that," he reminds you.
"Promise me something else?"
"Anything."
"No more late-night drives for a while?"
He laughs, then grimaces in pain. "Deal. Although technically, both crashes were Lewis' fault."
"Max..."
"Kidding," he kisses your forehead softly. "Kind of."
You stand carefully, already missing his warmth. "Text me when you're feeling better?"
"Text me when you're home safe," he counters.
At the door, you turn back one last time. He's watching you with those eyes that made you fall in love twice - once when you were too young to know better, and again when you were old enough to know exactly what you were risking.
"Max?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you. Even when I have to pretend I don't."
His smile, despite the pain, lights up the dark room. "I love you too. Even when Lewis Hamilton tries to kill me. Twice in twenty-four hours."
You shake your head, but you're smiling as you slip out into the night. A few more months of hiding, of pretending, of careful distances and secret meetings. Then everything changes.
You just hope you're both ready for whatever comes next.
Abu Dhabi, 2021
The final showdown. Equal points, one race to decide it all.
The morning of the race, you slip into the Red Bull garage before sunrise. Max is already there, going through his pre-race routine, but his face softens when he sees you.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asks, pulling you into his arms.
"Not really," you nestle into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. "Too much going on in my head."
"Talk to me."
You pull back slightly to look at him. "I'm nervous. For you, for the race, for what comes after…"
"Hey," he cups your face gently. "Whatever happens today, we're in this together. Remember?"
"I know," you try to smile. "It's just… everything's going to change after today."
"Good changes," he kisses your forehead. "No more hiding, remember?"
You've had this conversation countless times over the past months, planning how you'll handle the revelation of your relationship. Your father still doesn't know, though you suspect he's noticed something's different.
"I brought you something," you reach into your pocket and pull out a small charm - a tiny silver racing car. "For luck."
Max takes it, turning it over in his hands with a soft smile. "You're my luck."
"That was incredibly cheesy," you laugh, but your heart swells.
"You love it," he pulls you closer, kissing you properly this time. "And you love me."
"I do," you whisper against his lips. "So much it scares me sometimes."
You stay like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, before reality intrudes again.
"I should go," you sigh. "There's something else I need to do before the race."
Max knows without asking. "Lewis?"
"Yeah," you bite your lip. "I can't let things end like this between us."
"Go," he squeezes your hand. "Just come back to me after?"
"Always."
Finding Lewis proves harder. He's been avoiding you since Silverstone, your relationship reduced to professional nods and carefully maintained distance. But you finally spot him in the Mercedes garage, alone with his thoughts.
"Lewis?" your voice is hesitant.
He tenses but doesn't turn around. "YN."
"I know you probably don't want to talk to me-"
"Then why are you here?"
You take a deep breath. "Because you're my brother, Lewis. Not by blood, but by choice. And I can't stand how things are between us."
He finally turns, and the pain in his eyes matches your own. "You chose him."
"I chose love," you step closer. "That doesn't mean I stopped caring about you."
"You could have told me," his voice cracks slightly. "Before Silverstone, before any of it. I thought we told each other everything."
"I was scared," you admit. "Scared of exactly this - losing you, losing my family, losing everything I've known."
"So instead you just lied? Snuck around?"
"I know it was wrong," tears prick at your eyes. "And I'm so sorry, Lewis. Not for loving him, but for hurting you. For breaking your trust."
He's quiet for a long moment, studying your face. "Does he make you happy? Really happy?"
"Yes," you whisper. "More than I ever thought possible."
Lewis sighs deeply, running a hand over his face. "Come here, little sister."
You practically fall into his arms, tears flowing freely now. He holds you tight, like when you were kids and he would protect you from everything.
"I'm still mad at you," he mumbles into your hair.
"I know."
"And I still think you're crazy."
"Probably."
"But," he pulls back to look at you, "I love you. And I miss you. And if he ever hurts you, I'll end his career so fast-"
You laugh through your tears. "There's my overprotective brother."
"Someone has to look out for you," he wipes your cheeks gently. "Even if you make it incredibly difficult."
"I'm sorry," you say again. "For everything."
"I know," he kisses your forehead. "We'll figure it out. After today."
"About that…" you hesitate. "We're planning to go public. After the race."
Lewis nods slowly. "I figured something like that was coming. The way you look at each other isn't exactly subtle."
"You noticed?"
"YN, everyone with eyes has noticed. They're just too scared of your father to mention it."
You both laugh, and for a moment it feels like before - easy, comfortable, safe.
"Lewis?" you grab his hand. "Whatever happens today… I'm proud of you. Always have been, always will be."
He squeezes your hand. "Right back at you, little Wolff. Even if you have terrible taste in men."
"Hey!"
"I'm just saying, there are other drivers-"
"Goodbye, Lewis," you start walking away, but you're smiling.
"YN?" he calls after you. "For what it's worth… he better know how lucky he is."
An hour later, you're standing in the Mercedes garage, heart in your throat, watching the screens as though your life depends on it. In a way, it does. Six years of loving Max in secret, two years of running away from it all, and now here you are - watching the man you love fight your father's driver for the championship in the most intense finale you've ever witnessed.
When Nicholas Latifi crashes, everything changes. The safety car comes out, and suddenly the garage erupts with activity. Your father's voice cuts through the chaos, sharp and authoritative as he argues with race control. You've never seen him like this - the usual composed Toto Wolff replaced by someone desperately fighting against what feels like destiny shifting.
"No, no, no, Michael, that is so not right!" Your father's voice booms through the garage as the lapped cars are allowed through. You flinch at the fury in his tone, at the way he slams his headset down.
The final lap is unbearable. You watch Lewis getting hunted down by Max on fresh tires. Your nails dig into your palms, torn between family loyalty and the love you've kept hidden for so long.
When Max makes the pass, when he crosses the line as World Champion, the Mercedes garage falls silent. The contrast between the Red Bull celebrations on screen and the devastation around you is stark.
Your father looks destroyed, a mixture of anger and disbelief on his face. But it's Lewis who breaks your heart - the way he sits in his car, processing what just happened, the dignity with which he eventually emerges to congratulate Max.
You find Lewis in the drivers room a few hours later, away from the cameras. His eyes are red, his shoulders slumped in a way you've never seen before.
"Lew," your voice breaks.
He looks up, and suddenly you're both crying. You wrap your arms around him as he breaks down.
"It wasn't supposed to end like this," he whispers.
"I know," you hold him tighter. "I know."
You stay with him, through the protests, through the appeals, through the obligatory congratulations he has to give. You stay because he's family, because he needs you, because some things are more important than celebration.
Through it all, you catch glimpses of Max - being crowned champion, celebrating with his team, searching the crowd with eyes that keep finding you. But you stay where you're needed most.
Hours pass before you make it to Max's hotel. The celebrations are still going on somewhere, but he's in his room when you arrive, pacing like a caged animal.
"Where were you?" he demands as soon as you enter.
"I was with Lewis."
His face darkens. "Of course you were. Consoling the Mercedes garage while I won my first championship."
"Max, don't."
"Don't what? Don't be upset that my girlfriend wasn't there to celebrate with me? That she was too busy comforting the opposition?"
"That 'opposition' is my family!" Your voice rises to match his. "Lewis is like my brother, my father is devastated-"
"Your father?" He laughs bitterly. "The same father you've been lying to for years? The one we're supposedly telling about us after this race?"
"Are you seriously doing this right now?"
"When else am I supposed to do it? When you're ready? Because I've been waiting for you to be ready since 2015!"
The words hit like physical blows. "That's not fair. You know why I left in 2018, the way you cut me off like I was nothing, it tore me apart."
"Yeah, because it got too hard. Because loving me was too complicated." He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "And now here we are again. I just won the World Championship, and where were you? With them."
"They're my family!"
"And what am I?" He steps closer, eyes intense. "What are we, YN? Because right now it feels like I'm still your dirty little secret."
"That's not-"
"Then prove it. Let's go tell Toto right now. Let's end this charade."
"Today? After everything that happened? Are you insane?"
"Why not today? When will it be convenient enough for you? When will loving me not conflict with your perfect Mercedes family?"
Tears are falling freely now. "You're being cruel."
"No, I'm being honest. Finally." He sits heavily on the bed. "I love you. I've loved you through everything - through you leaving, through you coming back, through all the hiding and sneaking around. But I can't do this anymore."
Your heart stops. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want all of you. Not just the parts that are convenient, not just the stolen moments between races. I want to celebrate with you when I win, hold you when I crash, build a life with you in the open." He looks at you, and you see the tears in his eyes too. "But I don't think you want that. Not really. Not enough to risk everything else."
"Max…"
"Go home, YN. Go console your father. Go be the perfect Mercedes daughter." His voice breaks slightly. "Just… don't come back unless you're ready to choose me. All of me. The rival, the champion, everything."
You stand there, frozen, both of you crying. Everything you've built, every secret moment, every whispered promise, feels like it's crumbling around you.
"I love you," you whisper.
"I know." He doesn't look at you. "That's never been our problem."
As you stand in the doorway of Max's hotel room, the weight of seven years of love, secrets, and choices bears down on your shoulders. The championship trophy gleams on the table behind him, a symbol of everything he's achieved and everything that's torn you apart.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smau#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 fanfiction#f1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 story#mv1 x reader#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fic#f1 grid x reader#f1 fic#max verstappen series
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Kiss and Makeup | LN4 smau
lando norris x reader
summary: you are lando norris's makeup artist
fc: isabela merced
yourusername added to their story

caption: my face after waking up at 4 am to do ppl’s makeup
yourusername
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yourusername my life recently
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yourbsf you’re GLOWING babe
mclaren check DMs!
mclaren added to their story

caption: New stuff coming soon🤭
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user1 oh wow he's so handsome
user2 OMG IM SO HAPPY
user3 YAY NEW LANDO CONTENT
mclaren
Liked by landonorris, yourusername, and 171K others
mclaren Some new bags have been released with our partnership with Tumi, check them out below!
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user1 he's so—HJQHSJCHJW
user2 wow😋
user3 i want to bite him
user4 I NEED HIM SO BAD
user5 anything you say sweetheart😍
user6 #needthat
user7 i'll cook and clean the dishes just one chance plsss
yourusername
Liked by landonorris, yourbsf, and 12K others
yourusername it was nice doing something else! thanks for having me! @/mclaren
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yourbsf remember me when you're famous😔
user1 IM SO JEALOUS
mclaren thanks for joining us!
user2 how does one get this job
landonorris thanks for letting me look at all ur powders!
yourusername haha ofc, anytime!
user3 OMG LANDO COMMENTED
user4 lando commented what does this meannnnnnn
landonorris

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landonorris gearing up for the next race
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user1 P1 i see the vision
user2 i love that helmet
magui_corceiro good luck!
user3 letsssgoo
yourusername good luck!
landonorris thank you! ;)
user4 🤨
user5 ?????
yourusername
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yourusername anyway i also have a life
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yourbsf body is tea tho
yourbsf GORGEOUS
user1 face card never declines
user2 i fear you are serving
landonorris pretty
yourusername thank you😊
user3 OHHHHH
user4 RIZZ?????
user5 oh to have lando norris call me pretty
user6 guys is this the start of something new?
user7 alright chill out zac efron
GQ
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GQ Racing, gaming, and padel, hear all about Lando Norris in his interview here
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user1 WOWZA
user2 another photoshoot? please tell me y/n was his makeup artist
user3 ZOO WEE MAMA🥵
user4 lando has been feeding us lately
user5 i can't handle this anymore
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caption: bros messing up the makeup😐
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user1 IM SO JEALOUS
user2 soooo are yall dating or what?
landonorris oops?
landonorris
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landonorris that's more like it
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user1 LANDO NORRIS 2X GRAND PRIX WINNER
user2 absolute domination today
user3 congrats!!
yourusername invite me next time?
landonorris yes ma'am🫡
user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN
user5 im sick of them
maxfewtrell put a shirt on mate
user6 no we don't mind😊
yourusername
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yourusername who is this diva????
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user1 HELP I LOVE HER
user2 my b pose is naaastyyy
user3 he's so handsome
landonorris it's not too late to delete
yourusername but what fun is that???
user4 🚢🚢🚢
user5 so so jealous
user6 is she just like his permanent makeup artist now lol?
yourusername yeah he kidnapped me
landonorris for legal reasons this is a joke😑
user7 OMG
tumitravel
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tumitravel Lando Norris for TUMI
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user1 ok i'll buy the bag
user2 does lando come with the bag???
user3 yn is one lucky girl
user4 love how y'all just assume their dating
user3 well yes
user5 HOLY MOLY
yourusername wow whoever did his makeup must be really good
landonorris meh shes okay
user6 stop i love them
lando.jpg
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user1 HELP WHOS CAT IS THAT
user2 who u making heart pizza with??🤨
user3 if i say what i wanna say they'll silence me
user3 they're so dating
user4 🤫
yourusername aw cute cat
landonorris thx :)
user5 let me just sit back and observe
user6 yesss lando.jpg revival finally
yourusername added to their story

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user1 where ya going?🙂
yourbsf gonna miss u when ur in singapore :(
user2 y'all so cute idec if you're dating or not
landonorris
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landonorris sing a pore
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user1 bruh
user2 hard launch on live tv goes crazy
user3 bro's just gonna ignore that EVERYONE saw that kiss
yourusername you can't keep a secret to save your life
landonorris oops🤭
yourusername you're lucky ur cute
user4 CONFIRMATION YES
user5 WAR IS OVER
user6 I WAS HERE
user7 okay but that was so fricking cute
yourusername
Liked by landonorris and 286K others
yourusername muppet🙄
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user1 HELP
landonorris i said i was sorry pls
landonorris sorry again😁😁😁
landonorris where did you get these photos
user2 nahh that's crazy
user3 okay now i'm definitely jealous
user4 this is literally a wattpad story like wdym she's his makeup artist and now they're dating???
yourbsf i'd like to thank beyoncé
taglist: @evasmlp @partnerincrime0 @r0nnsblog @raizelchrysanderoctavius @daniiiboo @wisestarfishbouquet @noodleysalad @thatgirlwholikescars @jxnellat @blakebearsblog @angelluv444 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @etterdotexe @scopeiguess @noope306 @burning8wood @styl1shl1v @venusandstardust @daniellef89x @nzygftoji @laheykol06 @blodwyn4u @allthings-fandoms @woozarts @astroniii @lilorose25 @dejavuontrack @xxx-betty @wobblymug @m3ntally-unstable @armystay89 @sarakay-gvf @kar1nsworldx @velentine @rexit-mo @blodwyn4u @lammys-thinking @sam02009 @kaorisakamotofan @taylorsvogue13 @loveparkersblog @delicatetrashtree @hashmiya @noodleboyluke @crispysoup318 @kisssleeping @comicalivy @lilypat @superlegend216 @pakotrzl @heavy-vettel @ilivbullyingjeongin @theblueblub @bloodyymaryyy @stressed-cherry @da-writer @chemiru @ks001
add yourself to my taglist here!
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 x reader#lando norris x reader#smau#f1 imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#social media au#f1 social media au#mclaren#f1 x female reader
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That was a close call but solo avoided guys mission successful
#it was suuuch a close call i truly believed i would have to do it for a minute there#my friend is back so i can get 3rd trumpet again so obviously i was doing that#and the conductor just keeps giving me pages and pages and pages#and you gotta understand trumpets 1 and 2 had 2 pages each#i had 5#one of which was entirely an impro solo and another a written solo#the situation was dire#then i changed papers with the 1st trumpet bc he was like well if you wanna change you gotta change everything#(no one wants to be 1st trumpet in here hes the only one that tolerates it lol)#anyways then i saw what i had to play and like it wasnt thaaat high for 1st trumpet#but the thing about 1st trumpet is that you cant even do the octave lower trick so i definitely could not hit those notes#so i almost immediately gave it back lol#finally i managed to sell him the impro solo for half a beer the next time we go take smth#then i discovered the written solo while we were listening to the song and i was like fuuuck shit shit fuck#anyways the conductor saw my obvious distress like i was literally panicking#and then told my friend to change papers with me#yeah the one who was trumpet 2#anyways my grand plan totally backfired on me im trumpet 2 and i had to go through all that#closer than i would have liked ngl#(the 1st trumpet still kept the solo bc imagine wanting a solo but somehow he kinda likes it)#anyways this might be high but its not the fucking bullshit it was going to be lol#mine#life#music
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˗ˏˋ🖍️crayons and connections
pairing: prohero!katsuki x nanny!reader
summary: after a harsh relationship he really didn't want another try at romance for a while. at least, not until he hired you. he thought he loved the way you cared for his kids, but you both knew it was something more.
tags: fem!reader, domestic au, use of pet names, no proofread, fluff, cursing, taking care of kids, a millisecond of angst i swear trust me, comfort
(a/n: i couldn't get this au out of my headdd)
wc: ~3k
katsuki was honestly sick of his wife.
she would nag him constantly, asking for his cards and attention without ever asking about him or how he was doing. everything was an argument now, most of their nights would eventually end up with him on the couch.
the only lights of his life were his newborn son and one year old daughter. he had adopted the 'staying for the kids' mindset, but her skipping out on their shared daughter's first birthday was his breaking point.
who knew 'i want a divorce' would be the happiest words he'd ever uttered such far? watching her cry and swear she'd be better feeding the hole of despair that had opened over their three year relationship, that had only really blossomed because she got pregnant.
he had made her sign a prenup, thankfully, so he got to keep the house. with a payment and some paperwork he was left with full custody of his kids in his house, to sleep in his bed for the first time in ages.
well, only because he hired you.
it was only natural that he needed a nanny, i mean he was gone for most of the day patrols. after taking some in for interviews, he eventually landed on you after some hours of questioning.
he was exhausted, some of these hags were terrifying, both in their practices and appearances. he relaxed a bit at the sight of you. you were really pretty.
"hi mr-- um bakugo was it?"
you and no idea who he was? it kind of hurt but would end up working out in his favor.
"yeah, just katsuki's fine."
"oh, okay! i'm [name], uh-- i have a couple years experience for babysitting and i worked as a nanny for some other families too--"
as you rambled about your past experience and why you were good for the job, katsuki's mind went elsewhere. you looked breathtaking just speaking there, he swore your hair was flowing in the wind and that the sun shone brighter around you.
not to mention you were really sweet, he had saw you making small talk to the hags earlier, which meant you really were a saint.
"so uh-- yeah that's all about me... uh, hello?"
"oh! yes? that was all really impressive [name]. so, would you be available from eight in the morning to about ten at night? those are my current patrol hours, and obviously you'd be compensated for this trial."
"yes, that's perfect for me! when can i start?"
"uh.. tomorrow?"
"okay!" you stuck out your hand, a small smile on your lips. "nice to meet you katsuki."
he shook your hand firmly and you bowed before leaving.
the next day you arrived earlier than anticipated, he was suited up in his heroes outfit, relishing in the moments where his kids were still asleep.
he heard a knock at the door and opened it. it was you, a tiny purse behind you. "hi katsuki! woah wait a minute.. are you like a hero?"
he shrugged his arms. "yeah, you know only like top three, nothing big."
he saw your eyes widen. "oh wow! sorry for not recognizing you, i don't really keep up with all that stuff-- but im sure you're really strong!"
he nodded, "hell yeah i am. anyways, come in."
you were greeted by a large family home. you were sure your apartment was the size of the kitchen alone. huge halls and grand staircases filled the space, lavish chandeliers all shaped as explosions hung from the ceiling. not to mention the crazy amount of trophies displayed.
the rocking chairs and baby blankets scattered about were seriously out of place, making you giggle a bit.
when he looked back at you, you immediately slapped your hand over your face. "something funny?"
"no, no it's just-- your house is so nice!"
"thank you? anyways, i'll take you up to their rooms now."
you followed behind him, even his kids had huge rooms. you were super kind of jealous.
he opened the door and waved you over to see a small, adorable baby boy sleeping in a cot. "this is kei, he's only eight months." he whispered. "he fusses a lot, but he loves music."
he closed the door slowly behind, and walked to the room straight across. a tiny toddler laid in a princess bed, the room drowning in all things pink. "this is kioko, she's a handful. she turned two a bit ago." he whispered, closing the door behind him to give you a basic rundown of the schedule.
"so, they normally wake up around eight. there's a lot of formula for kei in the kitchen, and kioko just likes cereal. kioko can and will play all day, but kei gets real sleepy."
you nodded along making mental notes of everything.
"they eat lunch around three, but a snack before then is fine. dinner is at seven and they go to sleep at eight."
"okay, i think i got it."
he nodded. "i think you do too. there's extra keys in the counter by the door. call my assistants if there are any emergencies, i wrote the number on the fridge."
you nodded again, "kay, i got it. you get going though, it's already eight twenty!"
"fuck. okay, i'll see you later."
"bye katsuki."
the door closed behind him and you were alone. you decided to start prepping a bottle. just as you finished, you heard the wails of a baby ring throughout the halls.
you walked up to the cot, speaking softly. "hi kei, i'm [name]." as you picked him up, he gurgled in confusion. "i'll be taking care of you from now on, let's go eat."
you kept him in your arms. he was looking up at you curiously, making you smile as he touched your face. as you walked to his sister's room, where sure enough she was awake too.
"hi kioko, im [name]. i'll be taking care of you, okay?" you said, reaching out a hand for her to shake it.
she grasped your hand. "okay. go eat?"
"yes, let's go eat. follow me, okay?" she followed after you sleepily, her blanket and stuffed animal in her arms as you led her to the kitchen.
you placed her brother in a high chair first, giving him his formula. "can i pick you up?" you asked her.
"up-up!" she said, raising her arms up in the air. you carried and placed her into one too. "so, what do you wanna eat?"
"cookie!" she pointed to an expensive cereal brand you'd never even seen before. "oh, okay."
you placed a bit in a tiny bowl, adding some milk. they ate relatively peacefully, were they really as crazy as katsuki said?
yes, yes they were. kioko was a ball of energy, walking any and everywhere. she wanted to play every single game known to mankind. it didn't help that hide and seek was hard in such a huge house.
kei clung to you. as you searched for her he never wanted to leave your side, he'd start sniffling when you even left his sight.
lunch and dinner were a blur, you made the food katsuki had told you to on the sticky notes he'd left around. you had a bit too, and man did these kids eat good.
kioko finally crashed, tugging on the back of your pants. "sleepy time." you were washing dishes, so you wiped your hand clean to ruffle her hair. "okay, go wait for me in your room."
you finished up, picked up kei from where he was sat by his activity cube, and walked over to kioko's room.
you read her a book, 'the giving tree.' she fell asleep halfway through, utterly tuckered out from the day. kei fell asleep against your chest, you went and laid him down in his cot.
you looked around the house, seeing the mess. you sighed. "let's do this."
the house was sparkling once you were done, a pot of coffee on the stove as you waited for katsuki to get back. you seriously didn't know how you were going to go back your one-bed apartment now that you've seen how the rich live.
the door sounded, it was katsuki. "hi katsuki! how was uh-- patrol?"
he was covered in soot and dirt from head to toe. you internally sobbed at your hours of mopping going to waste. "oh uh, it was good. caught some guys and shit."
"ah, that's cool!"
he looked around. "did my brats cause you any trouble?" he eyed how clean everything was, from the dishes to the floor.
"they're full of energy, but so cute it makes up for it."
he wore a soft smile. "yeah, they really are."
"you know, they both look exactly like you. it's cute."
he flushed slightly, "yeah?"
"mhm, oh! i had leftovers from earlier? if you wanted some."
"yeah, i'll eat them." she smiled and started to grab her things. "so, does this mean i pass?"
he smiled too. "yes,
yes you did."
days melted into months of your routine with kei and kioko. some days katsuki would come home early, letting you play games all together. you'd cook with him sometimes too, laughing at how precise he was about it.
everything got a bit real the second kei spoke his first word to you.
"mama."
you and kioko got so excited, recording a clip to send it to katsuki immediately.
the entire day you were so happy, treating the kids to a secret extra snack, and letting them beat their favorite baby popcorn.
a knock on the door was heard, you were feeding kei so you walked over to the door with him in hand. you thought it was odd, why would katsuki knock?
except it wasn't him, it was some woman. "uh.. who are you?"
"oh, so he thinks he can replace me so quickly? newsflash, bitch, i'm his ex wife."
"can you not curse in front of the kids?"
"i'll do whatever the fuck i want. you know why? because i'm actually connected to those kids. you're just playing mother, he'll dump you eventually."
she slammed the door behind her. "star her mama?" kioko asked behind you.
"yeah, stranger."
you had gotten a bit weird after that, acting weird about affection and things surrounding it. you didn't know why, but she really did make you question your role in their lives.
you weren't a mother, you were a nanny.
katsuki finally got fed up with your new, odd attitude. he questioned you with a look in his eye.
"why you been acting so weird?" he asked, his mouth full with food.
"huh? i don't know what you mean?"
he pointed his chopsticks at you. "you've been acting all weird 'round 'em. you don't like that they call you mom or something?"
"no! it's just.. don't you think it's weird?"
"no. i'm happy that they like you so much."
"you don't think i'm trying to replace their mom?"
"they never really had one in the first place. she was never around, so if she said some shit to you know she wasn't half the person you are."
"oh.."
"so she did come."
"yeah. she did."
"[name]. you are ten times the person she ever was. you're perfect without trying. actually, you do try. and that's why..
that's why we all love you."
you both turned red, which made you laugh. "thank you katsuki."
you reached out and held his hand.
"seriously, thank you."
he put a restraining order on his ex the next day, also going to get flowers for you as it was his day off.
you'd started to sleep over after that, the affection between the two of you growing gradually.
he gifted you a room in the house, fully furnished with about ten thousand dollars left in one of the drawers so 'you could decorate for yourself.'
that room went mostly unused though, as most nights you'd end up cuddled with katsuki in his bed.
the fridge was filled to the brim with photos by kioko, who'd love to draw all four of you as one big family.
katsuki even asked her for a small one, one that he now keeps in the back of his phone case for good luck.
he asked you out officially with kioko's help, her unwanted help that is.
she snuck out after bedtime where he was speaking to you on the couch, you in his arms as he was mustering up his courage--
"pleaseeee have a play date with daddy, pleasee?" she said, using her puppy eyes.
"we all love you a lot, but he loves you this much!" she spread out her arms to make a point, making you laugh.
"okay! okay, i already said yes kioko. go to sleep, okay?"
"yay!" she ran up to her room and you heard the door close.
"so.. about our playdate?"
he took you out to a fancy dinner of your choice, telling you to order whatever you'd like. his mom was babysitting so you two could relax.
he'd learned a lot about you from his kids, your favorite color, the music you liked, the way you like your eggs, but it was different to hear it from you.
he thought you were so gorgeous and kind, so sweet to him and the lights of his life. who was he kidding? over the last year you'd become a pillar of his life.
he enjoyed going home knowing you were there with his kids, you were there to hear about his stresses and support him.
he was happy to support you, to let you stay in his house. to let him pay for things for you, to let him make you smile.
one 'playdate' turned into multiple, you went out every other week.
he knew he had to do something, a grand gesture to show you just how much he loved you, how he wanted to continue building this perfect family of his forever.
he knew how much you treasured the opinions of his kids, he loved that about you.
so, he got them in on it. kioko and kei each held a gift for you, one of your favorite flowers and the other of your favorite perfumes.
you were at a seriously gorgeous park, streams the only noise you could hear for miles. you saw your two favorite kids sitting on the picnic blanket.
"kioko, kei?"
"mommy!" they ran up to you, kei handing you the bouquet of roses, and kioko handing you a vial of perfume.
"aw, thank you you two. where's your dad?"
"hes waiting for you! come come!"
"come!"
they guide you to a secluded area, with a natural arch of overgrown vines, where katsuki is waiting for you.
"katsuki?"
"[name]."
"what's all of this for?"
"you." he took your hands into his, looking deeply into you.
"you're important to me. you've.. you've become the thing i was missing. the thing i searched for in other people.
and, you've become that to the people i care about the most too.
so,"
he got down on one knee infront of you.
"will you marry me?"
the word yes escaped you before you even realized it. you tackled him into a hug, which prompted kei and kioko to join in.
everything was just so sweet from then on.
kioko was the flower girl at your wedding, kei was the ring holder.
your first kiss shared under the altar was magical, the memory of it forever engrained in your memories, and in your lips.
your honeymoon was bittersweet, as you missed your two headaches. but you and katsuki also enjoyed the private time alone with eachother, embracing and finding comfort in eachother's presence.
when you got home though, your picturesque family was about to have a new addition,
you were pregnant.
whilst everyone was debating whether or not you'd have a boy or girl, to everyone's surprise once you and katsuki cut the slice of cake open..
it had both colors.
you we're having twins.
as you looked over at katsuki, a shocked expression on his face, all you could do was laugh.
laugh because you couldn't have ever imagined a life this perfect for you.
but it was a wax-drawn line of fate that led you to katsuki,
and you'd always be thankful for it.
tag: @kovu-bunnbunn
#i love this au isjsjsjdjd#lilac speaks꧂#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo#bakugo x y/n#bakugo katuski#bakugo x you#bakugo fluff#katsuki x you#bakugo drabble#mha x you#bakugo oneshot#katsuki x reader#katsuki x y/n#katsuki bakugo mha#nanny!reader#prohero!bakugo
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[this is the void]
#throwing this here so it leaves my brain and doesn’t rot in me#but like . ok. you can give compassion without pity. you can tell someone that smth that happened is wrong without being condescending#and i Know i have a problem with shutting down and being like. nah it’s grand and whatver but i’m also not fucking stupid and Can tell when#i’m being treated like a child! which! i am not! like yes do i know waht i am choosing is not that healthy? sure yeah. am i doing it anyway?#yeah. would i tell someone else to do it? no. do i even want this long term? nah but i’m ok with it for now and mb that’s also not ok but it#is MY choice. i’m not crying to you. asking for ur advice and then ignoring it?? i literally did not ask#and also. ppl who will treat you like a child when it suits them but then will do etc you to step up in ways that you shouldn’t be asked .#i will Bite .#and. a third thing. i hate being trapped into smth. like you can’t ask me a question that you know the answer too and when i say that fuckin#answer you act all. oh uwu. poor u. first. this is life! that’s life! it wasn’t ok or fun but it happens. we move. second. u already knew.#stop trying to use me to absolve u from whatever sins you’ve picked out for urlself so u can further ur character development or whatver#going to go sit in the dark for like ten minutes before i have to leave for a job interview#delete later
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MDNI
141 as your drug dealer boyfriend
Ghost- Let's be real with ourselves, Ghost is not a good man. He doesn't care who he hurts, as long as he gets his. He will do anything to get what he wants and there is no stopping him. It's what made him a great soldier, and it's what makes him a great kingpin. He moves weight to put it lightly. There isn't a moment where an uncut key is unmoving; from a warehouse, to a plane (or car, or train), to a distributor, to a pusher, to up someone's nose. He'll try to do some damage control, make sure things aren't cut with fent, but that's only to make sure customers keep coming back. He likes to keep his hands clean, in the sense that he'll never be the one to pull the trigger on anyone that's out of line. Living up to his name, no one knows what he looks like. Hell, a lot of people don't even think he's real.
But when it comes to you, Simon's a different man. No talk about work, just you and him. Other than the multiple hidden guns around the house and Glock he sleeps with, life is normal with you. Holiday homes in the French countryside and Bahamas. Designer everything. Sports cars in all your favorite colors. You want for nothing. It's the life he wanted for you. After all those years of crying and hurt when he was away for weeks or months, you deserved the world. Want the new Hermès bag? You got it. Can't choose between the black or white louboutins? Get both. Stop eating you out because you can't feel your toes anymore? Sorry love, only thing he can't do for you.
Soap- Johnny is a small business owner. Weighs everything out by his own hand. Presses his own pills. Let's you help baggie everything up. A social butterfly, this man is at every concert, rave, or music festival. Sometimes he has a friend help push his stuff when he just wants to stay home with you, but for the most part he's his own salesman. And a damn good one. Never has overstock. No matter how much he brings with him, he'll always sellout.
Has a supernatural sense of being shorted. Can tell if a bag is even a few grams off just by holding it.
"Ye'r an idiot if ye think ye kin short me."
And when the other party denies, he always keeps a pocket scale on him, setting the parcel on it. And sure enough, he's always right.
He'll come home with a few grand, the only job you have is to sit there and look pretty. And roll his spliffs. Sitting in his lap, tucking the rolling paper into itself and licking it closed while he counts out a fat wad of cash. He hands you a fat stack,
"A've never bin good wi' money. Ye know how to spend it better than me."
He never touches the stuff he sells, no need to when all the dopamine he needs is right between your legs.
"Ten times better than any o tha' shite, anyways."
He pants in your ear while folding you in half, firm grip on your throat.
Gaz- When it comes to psychedelics, Kyle is your go-to man. He's a fucking genius, synthesizes his own DMT and LSD in a lab. It's a state of the art facility, clean with the latest and greatest equipment available. He supplies the whole Northeast. If it's a hallucinogen, it's most likely Gaz's product. And if it's good, it's definitely his. He has a cozy set up with some "organization" that he cooks for. Steers clear of actually selling to people, no need to when his clients line his pockets so well. Never brings work home, he even wears different clothes when he's in the lab.
He has a set schedule he has to adhere to but sometimes he's able to take vacations with you. And that's how you ended up bent over a balcony watching the sunset in Punta Cana,
"I work so hard to make you happy, now it's my turn yeah?"
A breeze sends a shiver up your spine while he kisses your shoulder,
"I know a private beach where you can even out those tan lines,"
Of course he doesn't give a shit about that, he just wants to fuck you silly on the seaside (and show off to anyone who might be watching.)
Price- Caring and nurturing, the man naturally has a green thumb. And alongside his prized heirloom tomatoes, he grows really, really good weed. Has a whole growroom in his basement, decked out with proper ventilation, ACs, UV lights, the works. The man grows medical grade weed that private clinics buy from him. He's legit. And of course he serves the public as well under the table, sells only to people he knows and established clients can refer others to him. He treats his plants like his babies, even going as far as to play music for them (according to him classical music helps them grow better???). You don't know where he finds the time, but he also made you rose garden for your anniversary. He brings up the idea of a family every so often. He'll finish as deep inside of you as possible,
"Let's replace that plant nursery for a real one, yeah love?"
Gonna write actual stories for each one if y'all like this ( . * 3 * . )/`
#sorry if its short!#still on vacation#cod x reader#short stuff#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#john price#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#john price x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz x you#soap x you#soap x reader#gaz x reader#gaz x you#john price x you#price x you#price x reader
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Doomsday blue | CS55 x Reader
pairing . . . carlos sainz x tifosi!reader
summary . . . You'd always been a Tifosi, supporting the prancing horse since you could comprehend words. However, when your boyfriend starts racing in blue, it's hard to adjust. And when you finally get to stay in the Williams garage, reality sets in
request . . . no!! (yes by eve so now SHUT UP and leave me alone smh (joke ilysm))
word count . . . N/A
warnings . . . none!
faceclaim . . . tingting lai!
alexavia yaps . . . smh finally churning out motorsport content after not doing anything for it in CENTURIES </3 anyway f175 pic creds go to @theonottsbxtch !! lily muni he smau coming out soon so watch out gangalang!! quite short and is PURE SHIT but i don't care </3
yourusername


liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, scuderiaferrari and 2.4M others
yourusername 11 grand prix done and 13 more to go!! austria, you were good to us! congrats to mi amor on the podium finish <3 and as always, FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE ❤ Tagged: carlossainz55
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username1 FORZA FERRARI SEMPREEE
username2 SHES SO GORGEOUSSSSS
username3 i wonder what y/n will do since lewis took carlos' seat
username4 she'll probably carve a third seat out of no where for him
username5 CONGRATS TO CARLOS
username6 always love a wag thats been a fan of the sport since childhood
username7 my GOD shes stunning
username8 madre mia
username9 i hope whatever team carlos signs with next gets a red livery for 2025 because WOAH she is so pretty in it (carlos too)
carlossainz55 thank you carino ❤
yourusername oi next win get a win alright?
carlossainz55 i'll try my best with this car
yourusername you better because my family has been sending me threats telling me to "tell your boyfriend to get good results, he's in a ferrari"
carlossainz55 i promise i'm trying 😔
yourusername this is why you don't date a hardcore tifosi fan 💔💔
username10 how does it feel to be a goddess y/n
username11 she is living the LIFE
username12 FRR like i too wish i was carlos sainz's tifosi gf
username13 screaming crying throwing up
username14 im giggling at them giggling and whispering to each other at the race
username15 i need more carlos content ASAP
username16 my jaw dropped
username17 im staring disrespctuffly
username18 man how can they be so good looking
username19 HES BOUNCING OFF MY BOOTY CHEEKS
username18 bruv
username20 manifesting another carlos win or podium so he can spray y/n with champagne then kiss her like he did today
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, charles_leclerc and 3.6M others
yourusername WHAT
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username21 HELP????
username22 crying this is so random
username23 LMFAOOOOOO
username24 y/n why the shower pic
username25 yeah y/n why
yourusername i was about to shower when i get spam dmed this shit
username26 SOBBING
username27 i need to know what carlos thinks about this
username28 her (our) tifosi ass is crying
carlossainz55 i told you i'm signing with williams??
yourusername I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE???
carlossainz55 WHY WOULD I JOKE ABOUT THAT
yourusername BECAUSE ITS WILLIAMS???
williamsracing 😔
yourusername sorry...?
carlossainz55 so that's why you laughed and moved on when i told you
yourusername and that's why you looked confused
alexandrasaintmleux now you'll have to wear blue
yourusername NOOOO DON'T REMIND ME
carlossainz55 it's not THAT bad
yourusername yes it is i'm literally a tifosi
carlossainz55 would you rather that i become jobless or sign with williams
yourusername become jobless
carlossainz55 ...
yourusername can i at least stay in the ferrari garage?
carlossainz55 no
yourusername why
carlossainz55 i need my emotional support
yourusername eh you'll survive
carlossainz55 carino??
yourusername FINE ill stay in that garage but i'm still cheering for ferrari
williamsracing omg y/n will be in our garage
yourusername not for long
carlossainz55 ??
yourusername you didn't see that
username29 WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
username30 oh to be as pretty as her
alex_albon the hate on me was unnecessary
yourusername sigh
yourusername sorry i guess
alex_albon you should be 😔
yourusername btw i'm only being nice to you because of lily
yourusername because wlw = wags love wags
alex_albon alright...
lilymhe thank you n/n !!
yourusername no problem lils 🤍
carlossainz55 are we getting replaced alex_albon
alex_albon i hope not
username31 THE WHISPER HELP
username32 im crying about this and so is y/n
username33 okay so im not schizo and carlos DID sign with williams
username34 i wish i had carlos as my bf
username35 i wish i had Y/N as my gf
username36 i wish i was HER
username37 smash
username38 shes way calmer than i expected her to be about this
username39 honestly was expecting her family to light up the williams garage on fire
username40 carlos is actually a culer and not madridista bc ferrari is red. williams is blue. you know what else is red and blue? FC BARCELONA. its a sign. VISCA BARCA RAHHH
carlossainz55


liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, charles_leclerc and 11M others
carlossainz55 since the 2024 season is officially over, here's a memory to the last time we won in red ❤ Tagged: scuderiaferrari, yourusername, charles_leclerc
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username41 FATHERRRRR
username42 woah
username43 he ate. licked the plate clean. swallowed the table even
username44 can't wait for the next season omgggg
username45 imagine if he wins in a williams
username46 then y/n would probably pass away
username47 THE YNCARLOS HUG SUYGDTFVBSHNJSJDHG
username48 STUNNING.
username49 he ate up everyone frrrr
username50 THE PHOTOGRAPHY?? THE AESTHETIC?? THE RED?? I FEAR HE LICKED UP EVERYTHING
username51 ONGGGG
username52 FRRR
username53 THE REAL IT WAG AND IT DRIVER
username54 i cried at this
username55 WE NEED MORE Y/N IN THE PADDOCK FOR MORE CARLOS WINS 🔥🔥🗣
username56 carlos dont forget us when you become the world champion in williams
username57 THE SECOND PIC IS SO SYMBOLIC IM SHITTING MY PANTS
username58 id let him hit me with his car
username59 i'd let y/n hit me with his car
username60 mama y papa
username61 oh carlos i feel so bad for you
username62 alex in the likes???? stan carbon for life
username63 only carlos knows how to be so beautiful drenched in champagne
username64 and to look so godly while doing so??
username65 king behaviour
username66 the relationship is not a want its a NEED
username67 WAAAAAAAA PLS DONT GO TO WILLIAMS
username68 carlos sr AND jr ate up
username69 where is y/n i need her to be a depressed tifosi
username70 fr she puts what we cant put into words
yourusername meow
carlossainz55 mi amor what is this
yourusername can't appreciate my husband these days 😔
carlossainz55 hermosa we aren't married 😔
yourusername lets get married and run away forever then
carlossainz55 yes we should
yourusername i have the dress ready
username72 im so confused
username73 THEYRE GETTING MARRIED???
username74 THE GOAT
username75 please let williams become the fastest this year so carlos can win
username76 manifesting a podium for him and alex idk how but i'll build an engine from the ground and i'll harvest the car body from the earth
yourusername it's good that you're drinking up your last win since you won't have any after you start racing in williams
yourusername should've stayed in ferrari 🫶
carlossainz55 mi vida i literally didn't have a choice
yourusername i'm sorry i just want to see you in red more </3
carlossainz55 or do YOU want to be in red more
yourusername both 🤍
carlossainz55 if it helps the garages are close to each other...?
yourusername oh...😊 well you know where to find me
lilymhe who will stay with me then 😔
yourusername ME !!
carlossainz55 won't you be i the ferrari garage??
yourusername i'll stay in williams for lily 😊😊😊
carlossainz55 and not me? 😔
yourusername bros before hoes
carlossainz55 i see...
yourusername just kidding i still love you more than anything mi hermoso
carlossainz55 i love you too, mi reina
username77 im not crying you are
username78 im like 109% sure y/n is crying on the inside
username79 bro i'm gonna kms this is too beautiful to let go
username80 the look of lovee.....
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, lilymhe and 3.8M others
yourusername guess it's official. as much as it hurts to say this, see you in doomsday blue everyone 💙 (still attached to the red so i made sure to include it) Tagged: carlossainz55, williamsracing, alex_albon
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username81 HELP IM SOBBING
username82 how is she so calm about this wtf i'd be rolling on the ground sobbing
username83 thank the heavens carlos looks good in any colour
username84 doomsday blue is crazyyyy
username85 I WANT TO BE A WAG
username86 imagine being this handsome sigh
scuderiaferrari ❤ Liked by creator
username87 EH???????
username88 girl what
username89 FERRARI????
username90 i cannot tell if they are being petty or they js miss y/n
username91 HELP WHAT
username92 NOOOO IT'S OFFICIAL
username93 stop i feel so bad for her imagine your bf going from ferrari to williams </3
username94 guys maybe williams will have a redemption arc
username95 carlos wdc trust
username96 holy fuck hes beautiful
username97 where to buy a carlos asking for a friend
username98 proof that williams being blue ruins everyone's lives:
username99 im waiting for the edits
username100 y/n how are you functioning i'd kms
carlossainz55 see it's not that bad
yourusername carlos my beloved white isn't your colour
carlossainz55 WHAT
yourusername I'M SORRY IT HAD TO BE SAID
carlossainz55 you said it made me look like an angel
yourusername what was i doing when i said that
carlossainz55 laughing.....
yourusername exactly 🫶
carlossainz55 well still you look stunning in blue
yourusername now i feel bad 😔
carlossainz55 that's the plan 😈
yourusername fuck off
carlossainz55 also why isn't white my colour
yourusername i'm not elaborating
carlossainz55 shame
yourusername skill issue
carlossainz55 what
yourusername you wouldn't get it old man
carlossainz55 call me old one more time i'll show you what's old
yourusername oh!
carlossainz55 NOT THAT WAY
carlossainz55 actually yes that way
yourusername i'm scared
carlossainz55 you should be 😈
yourusername what the hell did they feed you in williams
carlossainz55 go there yourself to find out
yourusername over my DEAD BODY
carlossainz55 suit yourself
username101 president of the gpda btw
username102 i would've fainted he's like a renaissance painting
username103 dont know if i should be happy or sad
username104 both
username105 HER BEING THE SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIEND MY HEARTTTTT
username106 NOOOO WE"RE LOSING THE RED FITS
username107 new y/n fans will never get to experience them
username108 if i never see her in red again i'll jump off a cliff
username109 me and y/n are in a parasocial relationship btw
username110 they are my parents. no argument.
yourusername
liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, lilymhe and 4.1M others
yourusername pre season testing done!! the doomsday blue IS starting to grow on me a tiny bit.... such a disgrace to my tifosi family 😔 Tagged: carlossainz55, williamsracing
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username111 PRETYYYY
username112 my oh my the blue is doing things to me
username113 y/n said carlos didn't look in white so he showed up in an all white fit to annoy her
username114 my husband
carlossainz55 was i fast in testing?
yourusername yes yes very fast
carlossainz55 am i still a disgrace for your family
yourusername we both are
carlossainz55 don't forget to tell them i got them signed charles merch
yourusername i will, worry
yourusername if i have to suffer so will you❤
carlossainz55 hermosa i will kill you 💙❤
yourusername BLUE AND RED??? VISCA BARCA
carlossainz55 NO. NOT BARCA. HALA MADRID FOREVER. THAT'S WILLIAMS AND FERRARI
yourusername yeah yeah whatever
carlossainz55 soooo how do you like williams so far
carlossainz55 and don't lie your smile was radiant the whole time
yourusername sigh
yourusername its FINE
carlossainz55 VAMOS
yourusername ???
carlossainz55 nothing
yourusername okay.....
carlossainz55 please wear blue more often i'm salivating
yourusername please wear black more often i'm drooling
carlossainz55 deal
yourusername also if i see you in white one more time i'll maul you
carlossainz55 such kind words to your loving boyfriend 🥹
yourusername i'll kill you
yourusername btw my lawyer will be contacting you shortly
carlossainz55 for what??
yourusername assault
carlossainz55 verbal or emotional
yourusername both
carlossainz55 that's not fair
yourusername too bad
carlossainz55 you violate human rights violations on me
yourusername you amaze me with your loving words 😐
carlossainz55 i'm glad 🤍
username115 love is in the air eh?
username116 the fit is so adorable omgg
username117 CARLOS CONTENT LETS GOOOOOOO
username118 y/n tell us everything that happened please
username119 Y/N WILLIAMS APPEARANCES LETS FUCKING GOOOO
username120 YES YES YES YES i dont understand why but yeah IM SO HAPPY
lilymhe i love you so much gorgeous i hope you had fun with me
yourusername i love you more my beloved princess 🫶 i had so much fun thank you for making it bearable
lilymhe anytime pretty 💙
yourusername we should meet up everyday
lilymhe done
alexandrasaintmleux i'm glad you're having fun in williams! i miss you already
yourusername miss you too alex ❤❤
alexandrasaintmleux 🫶
username121 STOPP MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS SHES SO PRETTYA ND CARLOS IM MALFUCNTIONING
username122 girl is a fake tifosi
username123 sigh
username124 waiting for y/n to drop posts like a wife waiting for her husband's letters from war in the 1900s
username125 HELP
username126 omg i died watching the testing bc we got y/n content RAHHHH
username127 SHES IN BLUE NOW?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
username128 rest in peace ferrari y/n, you will be missed
username129 LEGIT PASSED OUT HES SO GORGEOUS
username130 cuties omg
carlossainz55 the blue looks beautiful on you i fainted
yourusername omg stoppp i'm blushing
carlossainz55 even then everything looks beautiful on you
yourusername i'm so flattered
yourusername love youuu 🫶 🤍
carlossainz55 i love you more 🤍
fin.
taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @justaf1girl ,, @awritingtree ,, @freyathehuntress ,, @chilling-seavey (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)
#alexavia writes 🍒#smau#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#x reader#carlos sainz#cs55#carlos sainz fic#social media au#fic#fanfic#f1 smau#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz smau#f1 social media#f1 fanfic#ferrari#scuderia ferrari#racing driver#fake instagram#f1 racing#williams racing#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x you#williams#tifosi
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People Watcher
Author’s Note: Poll winner, anon requested protective Joe!



Joe wasn’t one to hover. He never tried to control you or tell you what to do. That wasn’t his style. You were smart, independent and more than capable of navigating life’s challenges on your own. But that didn’t stop him from looking out for you in his own way, subtle, steady, always intentional.
Like on game days.
“You sure you’re good sitting in the suite?” Joe asked, tugging a hoodie over his head as he walked out of his office Wednesday evening after a long film session. His voice was casual, but there was a weight behind the question, one you knew well by now.
“You know I don’t mind,” you smiled, adjusting her earrings in the mirror. “Your mom’s fun. She gets loud when you’re winning and she’s always super proud of you. Both of your parents are.”
That earned you a quiet chuckle from Joe. “Yeah,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Just…you know. It’s easier that way.”
He didn’t have to say what that way meant. You knew he wanted you away from the chaos of the stands, where emotions could run high and things could turn ugly fast. It wasn’t that he thought you couldn’t handle yourself. Joe knew better than anyone that you could. But the idea of you being out there alone, surrounded by strangers who didn’t always know when to stop, didn’t sit right with him. In fact, it made his skin crawl a little bit.
“I know,” you said softly, stepping over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll even text you when I get there.”
Joe’s hand covered yours, holding it still for a moment. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “Do that.”
He usually didn’t respond to pregame texts, locking himself away in the depths of his mind and replacing his usual nonchalant self with a stone cold killer, the mentality he had to maintain while on the field to perform at his best. And yet, it eased his mind getting that text from you when he checked his phone one last time beforehand. A reminder of what he was coming home to.
Joe never asked for much, he rarely actually said be careful or stay safe, but that simple request had always been his way of saying both.
It was like that all the time with him. Tiny acts of service that didn’t seem big until you put them all together. How he always asked you to text him when you got somewhere, even though he had your location. How he’d casually mention alternate routes home if traffic was bad or if he heard about an accident nearby. How he never asked you not to go out with your friends but would always remind you to call him if you needed anything, no matter what time it was.
He wasn’t the type to be openly affectionate in public. The man wasn’t one for big grand gestures, preferring to show his love in quieter ways. In the extra hoodie he always left in your car because he knew you got cold easily. In the way he’d ask if you had someone to walk with you to your car if you were staying at the office late.
It was thoughtful without being overbearing, protective without being possessive, just Joe, in that calm, steady way that made you feel safe without ever making you feel small.
“You know I’m okay, right?” you asked, giving his hand a squeeze.
“I know,” Joe said. His lips quirked slightly, just the faintest smile. “But humor me anyway.”
Funny thing is, the trip was supposed to be for the girls. Your best friend Rachel’s requests were concise and clear, a drunken weekend in miami that you’d either never remember OR you’d have memories that would last a lifetime. With those instructions you started figuring out an itinerary. You looked at places to stay, how long the trip would be and where exactly you’d be spending way too much money on green tea shots every night.
“We could do the Gale for a week?” You suggested one evening, your laptop open comparing prices and amenities for you, Rachel and a few other girls that had let you know they would be joining.
“I like that place,” she smiles, tossing a jalapeño chip in her mouth. “The beds are super nice and we could stay in those two bedroom suites.”
Joe pops into the conversation, grabbing his keys that were previously resting next to your computer. “Wait…you’re gonna be gone for days? I thought we all were gonna do something together, you know, to make sure Rachel doesn’t do anything illegal. Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you’re above the law,” he gives her a pointed look, “this isn’t The Purge.”
“I mean…you can come if you want,” you said, trying to sound casual as you leaned against the kitchen counter. “But I know Miami’s not really your thing.”
Joe, who was halfway through tying his sneakers, paused and gave you a look—one eyebrow raised just enough to tell you he wasn’t buying your nonchalant tone.
“You want me to come with you to Rachel’s birthday trip?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Rachel said. “We wanna go for a few days. Just some beach time, clubs, you know… typical Miami stuff.” She shrugged. “We’d just all be one big group and we can all hang out. It’d be fun.”
“I would’ve asked earlier if I knew you were interested. Figured you’d probably rather stay home.” You added in.
Joe nodded slowly, like he was considering it. Truthfully, a loud week in Miami didn’t exactly sound like his idea of a good time. Crowded clubs, overpriced drinks, endless social energy? Not really his scene. But before he could answer, his best friend Zacciah’s voice chimed in from the living room.
“Wait, we’re talking Miami?” Zacciah grinned as he leaned against the doorway. “That sounds like a good time to me.”
“I’m in,” Trae added from the couch, like this was already a done deal.
Joe shot them both a flat look. “I didn’t say I was going.”
“Yeah, but you are,” Zacciah smirked. “Come on, man. It’ll be fun. Beach, clubs, a big group of us—it’s not just her friends.”
“Yeah,” Trae added with a grin. “We’ll make it a whole thing.”
Joe sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine,” he muttered. “But if I’m going, we’re doing it right.”
The next thing you knew, Joe had chartered a private flight and rented a sprawling beach house with enough bedrooms for everyone to have their own space.
“You know this was originally supposed to be a casually chaotic weekend with the girls, right? Now you’ve turned it into an episode of Selling Sunset.” You teased when he showed her the house listing.
He paused, furrowing his brows. “Isn’t that set in California?”
“Right, so you do pay attention when I watch?” You ask suspicious of him since he always said the show was stupid and that you were losing brain cells every episode.
“Anyway, you’ll still get your chaotic girl time,” Joe said with a shrug, moving on from the previous topic of discussion. That alone answered your question. “I just didn’t want you stuck in some overpriced shoebox with no A/C.”
You smiled, shaking your head. He wasn’t loud about it, no grand speeches about taking care of you, but this was Joe in his element. Quietly looking out for you in the most thoughtful ways.
And honestly? You weren’t mad about the upgrade.
As the group filtered into the spacious Miami beach house, everyone was buzzing with excitement. The huge windows opened up to an expansive view of the ocean, and the pool out back practically screamed “boujee vacation.” Rachel played soft music, curating her perfect birthday week playlist in the background as everyone started to claim rooms, tossing bags on beds and getting settled in.
Joe, ever the planner, wasn’t about to let anything slip through the cracks. He’d seen this kind of trip before—a group of people letting loose, and inevitably, a few hangovers in the morning. He wasn’t about to be unprepared.
He was already on his phone, tapping away.
“Alright,” Joe called out to the group, his voice cutting through the chatter. “We’re doing a grocery run online. Everyone needs to add in whatever they want. Let me know if there’s anything specific you need.”
He wasn’t asking for suggestions, he was in charge of this, and everyone knew it. They scattered, pulling out their phones to check in. But Joe had already begun filling in his list.
“Got your Gatorade, your ibuprofen…” he muttered to himself, typing rapidly. “Liquid IVs. Don’t forget the snacks. Chips, candy, all that crap you’re going to want after a night out.”
He shot a glance over at you, raising an eyebrow as you rummaged through your suitcase. “I’m putting all of your favorites on the list. I know you’ll need ‘em. We just won’t mention the Gatorade purchase to my Body Armour people.”
You rolled her eyes with a playful smile. “You know me too well.”
Joe didn’t respond. He just kept typing, making sure he’d covered everything he was sent. He added a few extra things, more water, some fruit for the mornings, and whatever random drink Zacciah had requested. The usual crew was already bouncing ideas off each other, but Joe remained methodical.
“Alright,” he said after a moment, placing his phone on the counter. “List is done. Should be here in a couple hours.”
It was a small thing, but it wasn’t surprising. Joe took care of the details in ways people didn’t always notice. The Gatorade, the medicine, and the snacks weren’t just for the group; they were specifically for you. He knew what you liked, what you’d need after a long night of dancing and drinking. It wasn’t a huge deal, just another way he quietly looked out for you.
“Thanks,” you said, walking up to him. You brushed your hand against his arm. “You always think of everything.”
Joe just nodded, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Someone has to,” he said, his tone steady and matter-of-fact. “Besides, I’d rather be prepared than have to force Trae to run out and grab things in the middle of the night.”
“Fair point,” you replied, smiling up at him.
For Joe, it wasn’t about making a show of things. It was just how he was, always looking out, always a step ahead. The house was amazing, the trip was going to be fun, but as always, his focus was on making sure everything ran smoothly. Even down to the little things.
The club’s bass thrummed low and steady the next night, vibrating through the floor as Joe slid into a booth near the back. It was his kind of spot—dim lighting, tucked away from the chaos of the dance floor but still with a clear view of everything. The sunglasses he wore inside weren’t just for show; they made it easier to watch without being watched.
His arm draped loosely over the back of the seat, and when the server stopped by, Joe kept it simple.
“Gin and tonic,” he said, then glanced at you. “And whatever she’s having.”
“I’m doing shots with the girls,” you grinned, your hand resting on his thigh for a second. “Don’t wait up.”
Joe’s lips curved into a small smile. “I’ll be right here.”
He watched as you weaved through the crowd toward the bar, easily finding your friends. The way you laughed, tossing your hair back as you all clinked your shot glasses together, made something warm settle in his chest. You were in your element—carefree, glowing and just having a good time.
You caught his eye from across the room, your smile lingering when you found him watching. Joe nodded with a side smirk as a silent ‘I see you’. Your grin widened before you turned back to your friends, vanishing into the crowd.
Joe leaned back, taking a slow sip of his drink. He trusted you with every fiber of his being and wasn’t worried in the slightest about your safety in public settings because he knew that you’d take care of yourself. That confidence that you could handle things on your own and your own self assurance was one of the things he loved most about you. But still, whenever you were out, Joe couldn’t help but keep an eye on things because he knew what could happen when guys didn’t take no for an answer.
His gaze followed you out to the dance floor, where you moved effortlessly with your friends. The lights flickered across your face, and Joe couldn’t help but smirk to himself. You looked good —too good—and judging by the attention you were getting, he wasn’t the only one who thought so.
But what Joe cared about most was the way you kept sneaking glances back at him—not for reassurance or for permission, but just to check in. A quiet confirmation that he was still there, still watching out for you in that calm, steady way you appreciated.
He takes his glasses off while looking at you, just enough for you to notice and he puts them back on. You smiled softly, your expression saying ‘I know you’ve got me’.
And of course he did. He always did.
Joe’s fingers tap idly against the side of his glass, his eyes still hidden behind his sunglasses. Outwardly, he’s the picture of calm —shoulders relaxed, one arm slung lazily over the back of his chair. But beneath that stillness, his patience is wearing thin.
The guy’s been circling for a while now—too long. Joe’s watched him linger near your group, pretending to bump into you once, then again. Each time, your smile tightens a little more, your body language shifting from relaxed to guarded. You’re handling it. Joe can see that. But the guy’s persistence is starting to cross a line.
Joe exhales slowly, setting his drink down with deliberate care. He leans over to Zacciah, voice low and steady.
“Hold this for me,” Joe says, sliding his glass toward him.
Zacciah barely reacts, just takes the drink with a small nod—like this isn’t the first time he’s seen Joe move like this. Calm. Collected. Controlled.
Joe rises from his seat, adjusting his sunglasses with one hand before weaving through the crowd. He doesn’t move quickly— no chest-puffing or bravado—just slow, purposeful strides. He’s not here to start a scene; he’s here to end one.
Your friends were still on the dance floor, their laughter and cheers echoing across the room.
“You look like you could use another one,” a voice said beside her.
You turned your head and found a guy standing there—possibly late twenties or early thirties, well-dressed, with a confident smile that leaned a little too far into cocky.
“I’m Xavier,” he said, offering his hand. “I’ve seen you around tonight. Just had to say…” His eyes dragged down and back up again. “You look amazing.”
You gave a polite smile, shaking his hand briefly before tucking yours back around your clutch. “Thanks,” you said. “That’s really nice of you.”
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked, leaning closer like he already knew what your answer would be.
“Oh,” you said with an awkward laugh. “That’s sweet, but I’m actually here with my boyfriend, so I’m gonna pass.”
Xavier’s smile barely faltered. “Boyfriend?” He glanced over his shoulder toward the crowd. “Haven’t seen you with any guys tonight, just your friends.”
“He’s here,” you said, your voice still friendly but firmer this time. “I promise.”
Xavier chuckled under his breath like you’d made a joke. “C’mon,” he said with a grin, motioning toward the bartender. “One drink won’t hurt.”
“I’m good,” you repeated, shifting slightly to put a little more space between the two of you. “But thanks.”
The bartender set your drink down on the counter, and you grabbed it quickly, hoping the conversation was over. But Xavier stayed put, his smile lingering like he wasn’t quite ready to give up yet.
“Look, I’m just saying,” he added with a lazy shrug, “if he’s letting you stand here alone, maybe he’s not paying enough attention.”
Your fingers tightened slightly around your glass, frustration flaring in your chest. “Trust me,” you said, meeting his eyes directly, your patience thinning. “He’s paying plenty of attention.”
A shadow shifted behind Xavier, solid and unmistakable and suddenly the air felt heavier.
Joe was there now, standing just behind him. Close enough that Xavier could probably feel the shift in space before he even turned around.
Xavier paused, some instinct telling him something was off. Then he turned and stopped cold.
Joe didn’t say a word at first. He just stood there—calm, unmoving, looking profoundly unimpressed. His sunglasses were still on, but the message was crystal clear: You know exactly what you’re doing, and you need to stop.
“Whoa…” Xavier blurted, half-laughing. “No way, you’re Joe Burrow!” He grinned like he’d just bumped into his favorite celebrity at a steakhouse, completely oblivious to the tension radiating off Joe. “Man, I’m a huge fan! Bro, this is crazy! I can’t believe you’re here!”
Joe didn’t smile. Didn’t blink. Just turned to the bartender and said, “Two waters.” His voice was calm—too calm—and he stayed exactly where he was, comfortably crowding Xavier’s space.
“So… what were we talking about?” Xavier asked, turning back to you with a grin like he’d just won some imaginary game of charm.
You stifled a laugh. “Um—oh you were saying something about how my boyfriend isn’t paying enough attention?”
Xavier snapped his fingers, clearly feeling bold again. “Yeah! I don’t know where ol’ dude is or if he’s even real, but he’s messing up right now. Are you sure you don’t want a drink? Or, you know… someone better to spend your time with?”
Joe’s eyebrows lifted behind his sunglasses, and his mouth twitched, not quite a smile, more like the ghost of one. “Someone better, huh?” His voice was mild, almost amused. “Yeah…wonder where she could find that.”
It took a second for Xavier to connect the dots. His face dropped like a cartoon character realizing they’re halfway off a cliff.
“Oh…shit,” he muttered, suddenly a lot less confident. “Listen, man, I didn’t know she was with you. No hard feelings, right?”
Joe leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. “Doesn’t matter who she’s with,” he said quietly, the steady calm in his tone somehow more unsettling than if he’d been angry. “If a woman says no, you leave her alone. Whether her boyfriend’s a pro athlete or not.”
Xavier’s smile flickered and died. “Yeah…yeah, you’re right,” he stammered, already backing away. “Didn’t mean anything by it. My bad, man.”
Joe watched him disappear into the crowd like he was making sure he wouldn’t change his mind. Only once Xavier was out of sight did he turn back to you, sunglasses sliding down just enough for you to see his eyes.
“You okay?” he asked, voice softer now.
“Yeah,” you sighed, tension draining from your shoulders. “He was just…persistent.”
Joe exhaled through his nose, muttering, “Persistent gets people embarrassed.”
You laughed quietly, leaning into his side. “You know, you’re kinda scary when you’re calm.”
Joe shrugged, completely unaffected. “It’s efficient.”
You smiled, slipping your arm around his waist. “And hot. Thanks for stepping in.”
“Always,” Joe said simply. Then he grabbed the two waters from the bar, handing one to you. “Now drink this,” he added, “I know you’re not ready to head out yet so I need you to hydrate.”
“Whatever you say, boss.” You respond, taking a sip and leaning into him.
The night out had been a blast—the club buzzing with energy, the lights flashing in time with the music. But as the group made their way back to the house, you felt the familiar weight of exhaustion and the ache in your head from the drinks. You weren’t too far gone, but you were definitely feeling the effects of a good time.
Joe had kept a watchful eye the entire night, noticing the subtle shift in your mood as the evening wound down. When you all got back to the house, it was clear you were ready to crash. Your energy was starting to dip, and he was already prepared.
“Hey, let’s get you upstairs,” Joe said gently, his hand finding your back as they walked toward the stairs. You slipped your arm around his waist, leaning into him just a bit more than usual.
“You’re carrying my shoes? How sweet.” You said, a sleepy grin tugging at your lips.
Joe smirked, his expression cool but with a hint of affection. “Wouldn’t want you to break your ankle on the stairs.”
“I think I can manage,” you teased, though you didn’t fight him when he practically carried you up the last few steps.
Once you reached the top, Joe pushed the door open to your shared room, making sure you were settled before heading to the bathroom.
“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” Joe said, heading downstairs.
You nodded, mentally preparing yourself for the journey of getting ready for bed. He returned shortly with a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers, handing them to you with a quiet, “take these.”
You took the pills, downing the water quickly, before letting out a small sigh of relief. “Thanks,” you murmured, eyes closing for a second. “I’m gonna need this for tomorrow…”
“You’re gonna need more than that,” Joe said, grabbing the Gatorade from the nightstand. “Drink some of this too.”
You shot him a half-smile, letting him help you sit up a little more as you sipped the Gatorade. “Thank you for always taking care of me. Not just tonight but…every night.”
“It’s my second job. And it arguably pays better” Joe said, his tone still calm, his voice laced with affection. It was just who he was, always looking out for you.
After you finished the drink, he handed you a soft towel. “Come on, let’s get that makeup off.”
You scooted over, pulling herself into a seated position on the edge of the bed. Joe stood beside you, a steady presence as he gently started wiping off your mascara. His movements were slow and careful, making sure he wasn’t too rough, his focus entirely on you.
“Okay, now you’re all set,” he said softly, tossing the wipes in the trash before turning toward the closet. “Pajamas. You good with just something comfy?”
“No,” you said, grinning. “I’m on vacation, I need something cute. You’re picking.”
Joe raised an eyebrow at you, a little surprised, but he didn’t argue. He walked to the closet, searching for something cute, but simple enough that you’d be comfortable. He picked out a soft set of matching shorts and a loose, flowy top.
“Here,” he said, holding them up. “This good?”
You made a small sound of approval. “Perfect.”
Joe turned to let you change, standing by the door to give you space but still staying close, like he always did. When you were done, you crawled into bed, and he helped pull the covers up over you.
He stood next to the bed for a moment, just looking at you. There was something about you —about how you trusted him, how you let him take care of you. His heart softened, but he didn’t show it.
“You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had, you know that?” You said, your voice a little sleepy but filled with sincerity. “You’re gonna be a really good husband one day.”
Joe felt a lump form in his throat. He didn’t know what to say at first, because in that moment, it hit him harder than ever: he could see it. The future. With you. The ring that sat waiting for him in his desk drawer in Cincinnati wasn’t just a thing he’d bought on a whim. He’d been thinking about it for a while now, and your words just made it that much more real.
“Get some sleep,” he said, his voice steady, betraying none of the emotion rolling around in his chest. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
You smiled up at him sleepily. “You always are.”
Joe leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, thinking about how you’d touched parts of his heart and soul he didn’t even know existed. He didn’t need to say anything more. His actions spoke louder than anything he could put into words.
“Goodnight,” he whispered.
“Goodnight,” you murmured back, your eyes fluttering closed.
And as he stood there for a moment longer, watching you settle into the blankets, Joe’s thoughts drifted to the future. He didn’t know how he could possibly put how you make him feel into a few meaningful sentences. He didn’t know exactly what day he’d ask you, but he knew he would. And when the time came, he’d be ready.
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