#bc i keep adding characters and regret very little

[speremint]

Good Omens S2 Thoughts

OBVIOUSLY spoilers for GO S2 below, so if you've not seen, and don't wanna be spoiled, don't read!

The tl;dr of this long post is that I loved S2, it was a lot of fun, and I love that it focused more on Az and Crowley, but I also think it was a little out of pocket and a little messy in writing.

Anyway I fuckin.. am still processing all of what I watched, and am currently rewatching with a friend, too, but here's my jumbled thoughts on S2 and especially the final episode because I'm having many emotions and I need to get my thoughts out somewhere.

Listen. I would like to clarify that I loved S2 and I loved S1, and I think S2 was VERY smart to parse down on supporting characters and keep it stuck to Crowley and Aziraphale for the most part.

I'm assuming that S2 was made with S3 in mind though, esp after this post from Neil Gaiman, bc lord I will cry if there's no S3.

The focus on the story of Job I am being super optimistic in hoping that maybe it's Gaiman punching us in the throat with S2 before offering us a nicer S3... regardless though, I loved the season despite my minor criticisms.

I... do not have anything against Beelzebub/Gabriel, but holy shit was that out of left field for the ending... I just feel that, despite Gabriel having memory loss (it doesn't seem to be COMPLETE since it was kinda touch and go during scenes), they should've sprinkled in some sort of foreshadowing the his relationship or fondness of Beelzebub.

Have him at least not try to decimate that fuckin fly with books, or take an interest in books on forbidden romance, or rebellion against authority, or maybe just flat out have him be interested in Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, or Nina and Maggie's. Just SOMETHING to set it up a little bit...

EDIT:: while rewatching, I suppose they hinged most of their foreshadowing in Beelzebub's passiveness and interest in Gabriel, but it's a little hard to have a comparison given how little they were in S1

It was only after I skimmed the GO tag that I saw people were pissed about Aziraphale's choice in E6 and I'm kinda just like ??? It's not OOC though... He's always been loyal to Heaven, and the times when he's been questioning, the biggest issue, is that Crowley was an enabler. He kept Aziraphale from REALLY facing the consequences of these decisions because he's acted as a safety net in some of the situations they're put in.

I love the added scenes of the past with Crowley and Aziraphale, they're fuckin great and I like that it continues to expand upon their relationship and "temptations", but I do think it was kinda reiterating stuff we knew from S1... even if it was good fan service, for lack of a better word. I just kinda wish they had sprinkled in more reinforcements of Aziraphale's fealty to heaven. Or, perhaps during the scene when Azira is worried he's going to become a demon, he could take that time to ask Crowley on his feelings on being a demon, and perhaps if he regrets it, just to also set up for the finale desire of Aziraphale in turning Crowley back into an angel.

Regardless though, S3, assuming there is one, will be a big wake up call to Aziraphale when he's left on his own and also under a tighter leash by heaven, especially since Crowley is gone. Also, expanding on Crowley being a high rank when he was an angel made my fuckin night, I still stick to the headcanon that he was the Archangel Raphael, don't @ me

I do think that... some of the stuff that happened in S3 did feel a little like a response to fans as well, since I know Gaiman is on tumblr and Ik the fandom has been really vitriolic over the fact that Az and Crowley didn't kiss or anything in S1... tbh I didn't think it was that big of a deal cause love is shown in many different ways, and I admit I do like that they kissed in S2, but it did also feel uhhh kinda spontaneous.

Not a bad thing, just wasn't expecting it. I did replay the scene bc I'm an angsty bitch. But yeah, I'm like ehhh.

Also Nina and Maggie randomly coming at the end to like.. sit Crowley down and be like "erm youre stupid and in love" felt very weird in a way I can't quite describe, but also felt kinda undeserved. Esp cause Crowley was like "eh I guess". I think the more subtle off handed chat he had with Nina about Aziraphale being his partner was a more elegant way of setting that up, and having him reflect on that instead would've been better. But also tbf he and Azira were being bitches and indeed messing with Maggie and Nina.

I don't like the term of describing content as "fanfic"y because a lot of fanfiction is super well written, but I think S2 was very... fan service-y... rather.

Which tbh I don't mind that much, esp given Gaiman really didn't want an S2 to respect Pratchett's passing as his cowriter. So... meh. I did genuinely dislike the ball scene at the end though. Just... it was really weird, and I'm not sure what they were trying to say with it, other than Aziraphale is fucking demented... and tbh he should've known better since the fucker's been on earth for ages, idk. After talkin with a friend, it just was a really weird scene, and if anything was OOC for him, I think it was that bc his removal of free will, speech, and even actions, was fucking insane.

Also I don't think John Hamm is attractive, so I tbh was just confused for a lot of his scenes that had interactions or alluded to him...

I liked S2, I really did. It was campy, it was a lil sloppy, but it was fun, and it gave a lot more Crowley and Aziraphale being a bitchy little married couple before their fuckin messy ass divorce at the end.

ANYWAY... I really can't wait to see what happens, and I am PRAYING that there'll be an S3. Until then, I will happily sit in my puddle of tears

[whoslaurapalmer]

okay so many book of bill thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ⚠️

-me, earlier: i hope it is as good an experience as journal 3, tasty little tidbits and lots of decoding and sticky notes and everything.......... -AND IT WAS!!!!!!!

-i know the big fear going in was like, we were gonna get too much bill backstory and it would ruin him as a character, and i'm so so so thrilled that THAT WAS NOT WHAT HAPPENED -we got a little more to add to the 'flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams' and a little more about how bill felt about living there and his hand in destroying it and honestly to me it was just. perfect. just some extra little things to think about with nothing really, truly concrete -definitely something to chew on with bill saying 'a monster' destroyed his home and him being 'twisted out of shape after the kill' and that he'd consider changing it.. like there's definitely a way to take it maybe as a tragic backstory but it also doesn't have to be because there's still so much we don't know about how it happened. and bill has........so many multitudes -like, i think, even if he has regrets? bill would do it again. he 'looked at the stars' and wanted to be one and mutilated his home world for it and although it wasn't his intent i really do think he'd do it again. there's probably a version of bill that has done it again -like personally i'm pleased with it, i'm not thinking overly hard about it, i think it's just something else to yeah chew on, and keep chewing

-aaaaa there's just SO MANY THINGS to talk about. so many fucking things!!!

-i love the page setups! i love the like, science book looking pages. the ads. the omnipresent superficial physicality of a non-physical being. -AND -HOLY SHIT -THE GREAT GATSBY -JUST, THERE, FIVE PAGES OF THE GREAT GATSBY -GREAT GATSBY -incredible. absolutely so, i'm still laughing

-THE TROLLEY PROBLEM PAGE. THE TEST. THE 90S 'SQUINT TO SEE A PICTURE' PICTURE. MCKAYLEIGH. THE REFERENCE TO THE FAKE JOURNAL AUTHOR LEAKS. THE 'IT WAS ALIENS' MEME. WOULDST THOU LIKE TO LIVE RIDICULOUSLY. ABE LINCOLN RATATOUILLE. CIPHER, I CHOOSE YOU! THE PRECIOUS MOMENTS PUDGYLILDARLINS TRI ANGELS COLLECTION, BY MARTHA

-no I REALLY thought we were gonna get CONFIRMED SAME COIN. on the chapter cover for bill's origins he's literally coming through the wall of stan and ford's childhood living room. stan's page going 'how is bill even writing this anyway?? where is he??' the stress from the axolotl on 'different form'. I was sooooooooo anxious to turn the page at the end bc I was like oh my god is this it. is this it. IS THIS IT -it was not! -but goddamn. -although. wait. actually really reading the therapy part with my brain in gear compared to seeing it last night -yknow....................i mean...................he's eligible for reincarnation if he "completes" therapy -so -so -SO -HELLO??????????????????????????????????? -WAIT????????????????? -is it. are we considering. this is happening

-I felt the delight and horror and heartbreak that only ford's journal entries can make me feel. godddddddddddddd -GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -i've always stood by, ford loved bill but bill only saw ford as someone easy to manipulate and, yeah, absolutely seduce, but that bill very much never felt the same way -and I still generally stand by it but also. wow yeah ford was very. special and exciting and desirable to bill. his idiot his genius his perfect vessel and partner, better than anyone else bill ever tried to use before him. and bill was very much enamored by how much ford revered him and wanted his company -THE. THE FUCKING KARAOKE PAGE?????????????????? -hand to my mouth, wide-eyed in horror -right up there with the sinking, heart-wrenching experience of the 'my muse lied to me' pages in journal 3

-"but then he'll disappear for weeks, months at a time, and i am left to wonder. has it all been in my head? and if it has...would that be enough?" FORD.........................

-ford: are we still partners? bill: LOOK YOU'RE THE ONE CAVORTING WITH A HILLBILLY me: y'all. i swear to god.

-bill: no i was soooooo totally fine when ford locked me out of his mind and his life and stopped doing what i wanted him to do soooooooooo okay with it ahahahahaha the police report: he was NOT FINE

-"I know sixer secretly loved our 'will-they-won't-they-destroy-the-world' relationship. this was just his way of keeping things spicy!" BILL

-bill: i will NOT talk about the removed henchmaniac (who i swear to god looked like fucking JHESELBRAUM????? it has to be jheselbraum.) but LET ME GIVE YOU ALL THE HOT DEETS ABOUT GETTING BETRAYED AND STABBED IN THE BACK BY A HUMAN. UHHH I MEAN. WOW WHAT AN ASSHOLE, HUH???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-bill: i'm totally gonna be on the lookout for My Prophesied Enemy. They Will Definitely Not Get Me! No Sir!!! -also bill: WOW WHAT A TASTY HUNK OF HUMAN SURELY PINNING ALL MY DESIRES ON HIM WILL NOT BACKFIRE ON ME IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. THIS WAS NOT A PROPHECY OF MY DEMISE BUT SURELY MY SUCCESS!!!!!!

-mabel: BILL SOUNDS LIKE A CREEPY EX BOYFRIEND me: mabel my beloved mabel it's mabel my blorbo i love her so much and she's RIGHT

-dipper and mabel: you tried to kill my sibling and if i ever see you again it's On Sight Murder :) me: i love them :') oh my god :') my babies :')

-mabel in journal 3: i found this note where bill was gonna make dipper kill himself so that's horrifying ford in journal 3's missing pages: he literally could have made me kill myself so that's a thing that's happening -AND THEN BILL TRYING TO CALL STAN AND SAYING IT TOO

-oh my god and mcgucket!!!!!! and ford's crush on him too and their college photograph and fiddleford making him gloves and trying multiple times to make them, and making him a snowglobe and them celebrating the holidays together and just :(

-bill giving ford rats vs mcgucket giving him mittens. and fiddleford DIDN'T EVEN GET HIS WIFE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT

-and ford finding dipper and mabel's footprints from the time traveler's pig outside his door and looking to see if there were any kids lost in the woods my whole fucking heart oh my god :(

-bill: YOU GOT 72 HOURS, I'M GONNA SEND SOMEONE TO STEAL YOUR EYES MAN, NOT KIDDING ford to stan when he arrives: DID YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES????? me: god nothing does tasty callbacks and everything like gravity falls. i love it so much -like he's so GOOD at revealing the right things about a story at the right time and place but NEVER revealing too much. never saying everything. there's clearly always more but we will never get it all. which is so nice -like i was READY after all this time to get a couple more details but nothing concrete. and i love it so much and it's just -aaaa! -anyway!!!!

-bill: see i went no contact with my home dimension, they were holding me back me: oh bill's the kind of guy who goes to therapy and uses the like, "therapy buzzwords" wrong, you know what i mean? me: and oh god he's not even IN therapy yet

-wendy dreaming about her mom :( -pacifica having nightmares about not breaking her family's cycle of abuse :( -HEY. HEY WHAT ARGUMENT DID DIPPER OVERHEAR. HELLO???????????????? -was that brought up in journal 3????? i do not remember and i gotta go back through bill to do the decoding so i can't reread journal 3 right away but fuck i really want to now -but also HELLO OKAY WHAT WAS THAT ARGUMENT ABOUT?????????????

-so fascinated. intrigued. wide-eyed about the parallel universe dipper and mabel part. universes where the pines family didn't win........all those different versions of them........

-"THEN HEADBUTT THE MIRROR TO SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS!!!!" -ahahaha.......haha..............ha...........................

-ROBERT RENZOBBERT SR AND "the gentleman's two-handed hooting bird removal scoop" oh my god -and pitt bros!!!!!!!!!

-"in lieu of an answer, stanley submitted a drawing of a possum with a knife." SHANKLIN THE STAB POSSUM!!!!!! SHANKLIN THE STAB POSSUM MY BELOVED IT'S SHANKLIN THE STAB POSSUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-ford: i was whistling a 1960's tune. james and bobby, i believe? me: wait like the boys????? like my boys????? like the dream of james hurley and bobby briggs in their silly boy band???????????? oh nah probably not. me: /googles google: behold! james and bobby purify singing i'll be your puppet me: OH NO. FUCK. OH MY GOD. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

-the fucking sticky notes oh my god

-okay finally did all the decoding -- was able to get bill's language myself which was so much fucking fun (minus 4 letters that i just think aren't used at all???) and i had to look up the runes. then as i was translating them i realized the alphabet was IN the book which i had never fucking considered and REALLY SHOULD HAVE. thanks hirsch!!

-oh my god the two owl house references in the runes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! awww..........

-okay i think i decoded everything. i think. i THINK i have spent all day doing it and i'm tired. god what a glorious experience

[quetzalpapalotl]

Rambles on Transformers 7 plus the other 3 energon universe issues I was behind on

Man, these comics continue being so so good aaaaaaaaaaah. I don't have anything smart to say I'm just hype lol.

First of all SOUNWAVE SUPERIOR YEAAAH. vEry interesting development, Soundwave got to lead the Cons in Marvel too but he wasn't like your G1 Soundwave. "You kicked my Ravage" so good. He's been questioning Starscream this whole time so this was the natural development (also the summary spoiled it months ago lol) but still, it makes perfect sense. I think it'll be interesting to see a Decepticon leader who is as brutal as the rest of them but also genuinely cares. He's probably stepping down as soon as Megatron shows up, but I'm eager to see his time at the top. Very good dynamic with TC

Starscream is too iconic to be killed of for real so soon, so he's proably coming back. That's fine because this is how I like my Starscream (unhinged little shit), but if DWJ actually had the guts to off him that would be a very bold move, mis respetos.

Speaking of, I do think they need to dial a bit the introducing characters only to kill them right away, any more and it'll feel tedius. I really hope Kup isn't permadead, I like him.

Elita is glorious and perfect.

We love to see an Arcee who regrets her own adept at violence, yes. I love this idea of Magnus as her mentor, it's a good role for him, we get varied dynamics between the bots and it links her to the movie cast she was originally a part of event tho she's on Earth with the season 1 guys.

It also works to get to know other Autobots better like I said last time. Oh, and the Decepticons too! Really good they're being displayed as characters.

Like I said last time, Cliffjumper not killing Starscream is less about it being the moral choice and more about CJ as a character and introducing conflict with his relationship with Carly. She's certainly having a time. Spike is too. I am liking the children very much.

Interesting to see that Optimus apparently has Spike's memories now. If the Matrix contains the memories of all previous holders it makes sense his would be added to the bunch, I made a joke about Spike hanging with the previous Primes last month lol. Anyway, it could help to bridge OP and the Autobots to the human experience.

Ok so the rest of it

Void Rivals: The Hunter guys is Solila's brainwashed brother which is pretty cool but this series continues to be so slooow. Like, look at how much Transformers gets done per issue. The art remains great so the pacing can be forgiven to a degree but still.

Cobra Commander: Coco makes for a pretty good villian, the series does a good job selling him as eerie and disturbing

Duke: Oh my god, they really aren't doing anything to make me like Duke. Like

When the military stuff shows in TF, it feels like it's there to create parallels and bc of genre, DWJ tries to keep it vague so I'm willing to play along and let it be. I was willing to do the same for the Joe guys since it seemed they were going to become some sort of anti-Cybertronian unit, but unlike Transformers this series seems to have a genuine hard on for the US military and all the macho 'murica stuff and god... it's also by fa the weakest of the EU titles and doesn't offer anything to counter balance and keep my interest. At least Baroness is cool (and she's also right)

Anyway Soundwave good,

[jittyjames]

for the fanfic writer asks!!

3, 11, 13, 19, 20, 24, 33, 39 (bc your fics drive me insane and i need more of your incredible works), 42, 45, 69 and 74!!!

sorry that i put loads, just choose whatever ones you want to answer out of the ones i’ve asked <3

YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO ANSWER THEM ALL BESTIE

3- ok so my process is basically non-existent, but i'll walk you through it anyway. so i'll have an idea for a scene literally at any point. sometimes it can be a single sentence or sometimes it can be a vague concept, but i always write it down. if i have my phone it's almost always going in my notes app. from there, i just kind of expand on the idea as it develops when i get back to my laptop. i tend to write the exciting and important scenes first in a very rough fashion, and then go back to fill in the blanks. then i go back and polish by combing over it for grammar mistakes and adding a few more details. that's pretty much it!

11- OOO! i'll do three for hamilton and three for jcs to appease both sides

FAV HAMILTON FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE a more perfect union by holograms (thanks to crys for introducing me to THIS), the monticello furlough by michelle_a_emerlind, and death of a nation by cyanspica

THEN HONORABLE MENTIONS!! LITERALLY ANYTHING BY YOU, CECE, AND XEN. I EAT THOSE UP EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.

FAV JCS FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE obviously the incomparable ruined ambition series by @solarflicker (which i literally trip over myself to go read every time i get the email that it's been updated), picking up the palm fronds by onetrueobligation, and the cup that can't be filled by @ohsoldier (literally the good omens/jcs crossover of my dreams)

SO MANY MORE TOO!! BOTH FANDOMS ARE FILLED WITH SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE! GO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS PEOPLE. FANFIC WRITERS AND FANARTISTS ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP FANDOM ALIVE.

13- "write for yourself, your dick, and your six closest friends." SHARED BY @fireballdance

19- my most used rating tag is mature, my most tagged ship is hamilton/laurens, my most tagged character is hamilton (obv lol), and my most used additional tag is hurt/comfort

20- i use a lot of rain imagery i think. actually i use a lot of weather imagery bc i'm annoyinggg. and then ofc i use aspects of my trauma in most of my fics (even ones you wouldn't suspect) but no one really would pick up on that since y'all don't know, but themes of abuse are certainly littered through out. obviously biblical imagery, too. i can't think of any phrases, SO IF YOU KNOW OF SOME THAT YOU NOTICED I'VE USED A LOT LEMME KNOW.

24- the worst advice i've ever gotten is if you're stuck, delete everything and start over. absolutely not. you can start over, but i wouldn't ever delete anything. even if i don't use lines in one fic, i can always recycle and put it somewhere else. NEVER DELETE. YOU'LL REGRET IT. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

33- YES I WANT TO BE PUBLISHED. i have so many original novel ideas and i want to write southern gothic literature so badly. i doubt it will ever happen but that's the dream. i would also really like to write my own plays :))) but for now, i'm sticking to universes and characters i'm already familiar with

39- OOOO I HAVE SO MANY WIPS BC OF WHUMPTOBER (currently have a little bit over 30k words written 👀👀 and that's not even counting the kink stuff BUT I'M NOT GOING INTO THAT WITH YOU BC YOU ARE A MINOR) BUT LEMME PICK ONE I THINK YOU'LL LIKE

Philip’s forehead burned under his hand.  Alexander felt something in his chest and stomach plummet to what seemed like hell. He remembered the feeling of this. He remembered how hot his mother’s flesh had seared as she shivered against him, her arms wrapped tight and secure as she hummed shakily to him. He remembered how she soothed her hand over his hair as she whispered te quiero over and over.   He remembered her going still and cold. 

42- THE LAST FIC I READ WAS calm you and anoint you (envy) by a_trick_or_two_with_lepers AND ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE IT. GO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

45- I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BREAK MY READERS' HEARTS. IT IS MY LIFE'S MISSION. I NEED Y'ALL ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH MY FICS

69- hmmm i'm always embarrassed when i post smut but i'm not really embarrassed that it exists. and the fics i were embarrassed about have long been deleted from the internet SO NOT REALLY ANY OF THEM I GUESS

74- if it's a fic posted in an obscure musical fandom about trauma and has my long-winded ass writing style, it's probably me :)

THANKS FOR THE ASK I HAD A LOT OF FUN ANSWERING THEMMM. ILYYY MWAH 💙

[liverbiver9]

Act Two Notes: 後悔莫及 (Too Late for Regrets)

On AO3

Relationships: Jiāng Yànlí & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Jiang Yanli/Original Character; Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn & Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín & Wēn Qíng; Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxian

Characters: Jiāng Yànlí; Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Original Characters; Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín; Wēn Qíng (Módào Zǔshī); Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín and Wēn Qíng's Mother; Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī

Additional Tags: Time Travel Fix-It; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Jiāng Yànlí-centric; POV Jiāng Yànlí; Genderqueer Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn; Trans Male Character; Kid Fic

Hello!

TBH I considered posting this fic here but I truly can't be bothered to figure out how to put all the links and everything so I'll just post the whole fic once it's finished on AO3. In the meantime, I have literally So Much to say about this fic because it's been rotting my brain for weeks now, and there's only so much I can fit in the author's notes, so here we are!

DON'T READ PAST HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS

So, act two:

I have SOO much to say about this chapter and I’ll try to go chronological:

I was very careful with how I presented Jiang Yanli here. On one hand, to get the ending I wanted, she needs to literally stage a coup all by herself (at first). On the other, I didn’t want to fall into the same pit so many authors do when trying to bring power to female characters, which is make them girl boss.

I don’t think Jiang Yanli would ever try and build her martial skills, as we get in the text that she had little interest in it. As cool as it sounds, she wouldn’t do such a thing as wield a sword or Zidian unless pushed to great lengths. This fic has her using cooking as a way of cultivation, and I became obsessed with the idea. I did my best to veer away from copying it and instead adding my own twists, which is why I leaned into traditional Chinese medicine, specifically food therapy.

WEI YING WITH SAILORMOON BUNS AND RED BOWS!!!!!!! Pls I’m obsessed 😭😭😭😭 his ponytail is cute and all but I just love the image of him with cute, more feminine hair styles bc he would look SO GOOD! Imagine Lan Zhan’s reaction…

I added the bits about Wei Ying’s tantrums because I wanted him to be a kid, something I don’t think he was ever allowed to be, hence the playful, childish mannerisms he keeps up well into adulthood. “Xianxian is three” is adorable and I love that inside joke with his shijie, but it has some really sad implications. I think Wei Ying was forced to grow up too fast and too early, and that kind of trauma Fucks You Up. Hence, he deserved to have a meltdown once he felt safe.

Wen Ning and Wei Ying being best friends and then siblings? It’s just what they deserve!! They’re so cute

OOOHHHHH BOY I was so excited to finally introduce Cai Yiben!!! This character really grew on me. When I originally had the idea, I was just going to have Wei Ying be trans/genderqueer and let Jiang Yanli have a nice cottagecore-esque Lesbian dream life, but I thought 'You know what? No, she deserves a hot transmasc to rock her world,' and I believe I made the right decision.

Jiang Yanli realizes her feelings for Cai Yiben so late because of comphet, but as a commenter said it could also be read as her finding him more attractive (NOT in a fetish way) once he came out as trans, because trans people are HOT.

Next chapter is a short interlude focusing on Cai Yiben, so stay tuned!

[dollyyun]

I FINALLY finished the first chapter of DKP! I started it a while ago, but I was taking my time, you know, savoring every word and making the pleasure last. And honestly, I don’t regret it at all because WOW… What you’ve written is pure gold. No, wait, not just gold—it’s a whole treasure mine. How do you even write this well? Seriously, you pulled me so deep into the story that I almost forgot I wasn’t actually in it. Almost. Then I remembered I’m not Y/n, and let me tell you… my life hasn’t been the same since 😭.

Now let’s talk about something very important: Sunghoon. No, but SUNGHOON. What did you do there? Were you trying to give me a heart attack? I’m gonna be honest—every single second of that scene in the bathroom had me wanting to scream, “IT’S MY TURN, LET ME INTO THIS STORY!” But no, life is unfair, and here I am, stuck fangirling behind my screen like a sad little gremlin 😭.

And those extra moments you added… just wow. Bravo. They bring so much depth to the story, so much emotion. Every scene, every detail made me feel like I was rediscovering the characters in a whole new light. And let me just say: I am OBSESSED with the way you enriched the story. It was an absolute treat. A true chef’s kiss! 🧑🏾‍🍳

Oh, and let’s not forget the magic number: 39k words. Like, WHO does that? You. And honestly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You didn’t just feed us—you gave us a full buffet. And not one of those boring buffets that get old fast. No, this chapter? Never boring. I devoured every word, every line, every interaction. Do you even realize how precious your work is?

Anyway, I really hope you’re taking care of yourself because you deserve it. I know a chapter like this must’ve taken so much effort, and your talent deserves all the love and respect in the world. So, please, get some rest and recharge because I’m already sitting here, impatiently waiting for the next chapter. Thank you again for everything—you’re a true queen!

— 🐰

this is honestly so flattering i had to take some time to find the right words to deliver my utmost gratitude to you🥹

even though i surprisingly enjoyed writing part 1 revamped, i didn’t think that i wrote it well and i didn’t even expect for ppl to enjoy my writing bc tbvh, i could never escape the insecurity in me over my writing, so to know that you (and some others!)loved it makes my heart😞💗

also wdym you ARE yn, iconic one at that (no i get you😭like yn back off it’s my turn now)

oh girl when i tell you that revamped dkp hoon is gonna be🤭😩🦋i can’t lie when i say that he might be your most fav in the revamped.

aaaa thank you thank you thank you for telling me in details about how and what you felt when you were reading it! like i cannot tell you how much i actually love when someone tells me about their feeling and experience throughout reading my work🥹

is it a whole buffet?😭bc i feel that it isn’t enough and the way writing 39k words took me about 1 and a half weeks </3 also i don’t think it’s a big deal bc ive seen other writers writing with more wc than my works do🙏🏻im more glad that my work is precious to you!

i haven’t been taking care of myself bc school is kicking me in the nuts, which probably explains why i’m now facing writers block💔but yes yes i’ll keep your words in mind thank you for the reminder! me too i’m waiting impatiently for my ass to start writing the next part and the upcoming parts to come😮‍💨

don’t thank me yet bc we still have a long way to go😼but i’m the one who should be thanking you🫂srsly you just made my day with this🤧i hope life is always kinder to you and good things coming your way🙏🏻 i appreciate you so so much and i love you💗

[wishforged]

although I'm a big fan of joseimuke media I haven't really played a lot of otome games despite the fact that I have several installed and I like keeping up with new releases and reading about classic ones. I kind of regret playing collar x malice as my first full length otome game bc it's so good that it sets the bar too high rip but that's a topic for another day

I was looking forward to playing tengoku struggle even before its release bc I really loved the art style and the setting/premise. in modern japan, everyone knows that hell exists and "model prisoners" from hell are permitted to work in asakusa in the human world, where the gate to hell is located. you play as the daughter of the king of hell who has been tasked with managing a team of 4 dead guys from hell to re-capture a group of escapees, also originally from hell, who are now living in the human world. so you all live in a house together in the human world until you complete your mission. I thought this went hard so I was excited to check it out.

spoilers under cut

one of the core themes of this game is that the MC hates men LMFAO which also was a draw for me. and the LIs are anime versions of real historical figures as per a classic otome formula so they have weird outdated views about women and the MC whips them into shape etc etc. though tbh this conflict gets resolved pretty quickly as the plot goes on. neither side keeps their resentment of the opposite gender for long which on one hand is good bc I don't really want to romance misogynists but on the other hand felt sort of unnatural especially on the MC's side like you got over your misandry quick I guess damn

the MC Rin is the adopted daughter of the king of hell, king enma. she's a very competent if inexperienced hell guardian who has been tasked with managing this team of 5 assholes to capture the escapees. she doesn't remember anything about her life before she died. I liked rin!! she can hold her own with her whip and her design is cute too. and she has glasses which she wears during her downtime which I love.

shout out to her cat also. I usually am not charmed by cocky mascot characters but tama is so cute and his devotion to rin is so sweet ❤️ little kitty from hell. the LIs and side characters had some great moments with him too.

I must mention that the localization left much to be desired because of the rampant typos and grammatical mistakes omfg. I think it's worst in the common route and the rest is better but good lord. aksys really doesn't give a fuck about quality checking their games which is insane considering I bought this game for FIFTY DOLLARS. I was actually so annoyed I sent them an email about this but ofc I didn't hear back bc they're probably too understaffed to have someone employed who responds to complaint emails

let's talk about the real highlight of this game which was ONO NO TAKAMURA ❤️ rin's teacher who she calls sensei nono and king enma's right hand man, feared by all the prisoners in hell for his power and ferocity which is always lurking under a veneer of elegance and refinement. so basically my exact type of character. he is not even a romanceable character but ended up being my favorite in the entire game due to his delightfully creepy personality....... sensei nono route when.

seriously i love him.

so there are two entry type routes, yona (redhead samurai) and kikunosuke (tiny gamer who turns into a wolf). they were both cute and fun I don't have too much to say about them bc I played them a million years ago. I def enjoyed yona's more even though he pissed me off sometimes lol but I'm always a sucker for the hotheaded stubborn tsundere guy route bc they always fall for the MCs in such a passionate but pure way and rin falling in love with him was sweet even though it happened fast.

kikunosuke has a sister who is one of the escapees from hell and a lot of his route was sibling drama stuff which I always enjoy so that was a plus. also I LOVED his sister she's so adorable and her relationship with rin is so cute, because despite hating her brother she wants rin to be her friend lol. the siblings' backstory is very tragic and I felt for them a lot.

then there was sharaku who had an interesting route lol. I kind of guessed he was going to have a male courtesan backstory but it was interesting how far they took it. he's always talking about trying to sleep with rin which didn't really bother me I guess bc it was kinda funny and I'm desensitized to asshole anime men tbh, plus there was a reason for it. though it would be fair to dislike him because of this lmao. I feel like this route could have been better they were trying to do way too many things... I really liked the core concepts of his character-- having broken attitudes about sex due to sexual trauma, being a famous artist, disliking samurai, etc-- but I don't feel like they were executed super smoothly. anyway his design is nice and I do find him very charming and cute so I kept him as my homescreen character lol. he is very much Guy Who Negs You which is another fav otome archetype of mine... he has some great lines too

JaCK's route... he's a mysterious human working with the escapees and also he is an idol singer or something I guess although that barely comes up. he's kind of a chuuni which is funny af considering he's in his 20s. it is eventually revealed that his name is tetsunojo imai. he was alive during the same time as goemon and has been cursed by nono sensei so that he can't die. as a result he hates everything and everyone having to do with hell and wants to seek revenge. he's kind of horrible to rin for a bit but then has his arc where he repents and it's actually quite emotional and sweet.

all the other guys kinda give him a hard time which is funny lol. there's a lot of nono sensei in this route so obviously it was one of my favs 🙂‍↕️ he has some cool asf badass moments at the end of his route which felt very vindicating bc he spends a lot of it being a coward tbh. I kinda had a problem with rin in this route bc she falls for him so quickly despite him being awful in the beginning like girl get up..... I really liked imai as a character though he had a cool concept with not being able to die and all.

the true route is ishikawa goemon which you find out very early on. the game doesn't hide at all that he's rin's long lost love (who she doesn't remember) from her past life lol. but you can't play his route until you finish the other ones so you basically have to watch him sit in the cuck chair for the entire rest of the game which is kind of depressing bc hes been pining for her for a billion years. Anyway he has a mischievous side bc he's famous thief ishikawa goemon but he's mostly the responsible kind type who helps take care of the other guys. it was sweet how he carried a torch for rin all this time and their story was quite beautiful.

there was a lot of shit happening in his route obviously to resolve everything going on and a lot of reveals that genuinely had me shocked bc I was not expecting them.... but it was a good way to wrap up the game I would say and I feel satisfied about how things ended.

what else... sexual assault and rape are referenced and brought up and incorporated into a couple of characters backstories. it wasn't handled super irresponsibly I would say, just maybe not as sensitively as I would have liked.

apparently this game was not very popular in japan which is sad bc we will likely not get a fan disc. I only really want one for the sensei nono route that I am trying to manifest through sheer force of will

ultimately I thought this was a really fun lighthearted visual novel and otoge!! I wish the villains had been more developed bc that part of the story kind of fell flat and I also wish rin had more of a natural progression from misandrist --> head over heels for whatever dude. but I enjoyed it regardless 👍🏼

[redr0sewrites]

ok heres a very very very detailed analysis on all of my character design choices i made on my human bill design for no reason except i sent this to my friend and she encouraged me to post it sooooo.... here we go

ok so this photo implies that either A) bill wears really long gloves and boots all the time B) his arms and legs changed color as he grew C) they changed color when he destroyed his dimension and accidentally gained cosmic power. i thought it would be cool to implement this fact by giving his human design vitiligo to show the fact that his skin is literally two different colors (i personally think the theory is B cuz when ford blew that hole into his hat (which is also black) it was a part of him wnd therefore skin so i think his skin just changed over time). i also added in the vitiligo on his face to represent the brick pattern thats seen on him. idk i genuinely felt like he should have some sort of face markings to represent that. i also wanted to make him verryyyy gender non comforming. in the book of bill it states that his gender is quite literally triangle, so i feel like he wouldn't really fall into the same gender norms as humans and would end up looking very androgynous simply bc he would not care about looking masculine or feminine and you cant misgender him anyway bc his gender is incomprehendable. i also didnt want to give him a lot of eurocentric features cuz ive seen so many human bill designs that are kinda copy n paste white twink and while it is a good design i wanted him to be more "him" or what he would like. i felt like giving him a sharper nose and jawline would help attribute to his character and also to the sharp angles of his triangular form. i genuinely just wanted him to look beautiful, but not in an average every day person conventional way, moreso in an ancient deity, model, once in a lifetime person type of way. i wanted him to look beautiful in the intimidating way not the cute way. the hair was honestly just for sillies and their wasn't a LOT of thought behind it- again, i went with the adrogynous themes and gave him sort of a scaramouche bowl cut mullet but a little more wolf cut-y. yellow is obviously his color, but since black is also so prevalent in his character design i wanted to keep that theme going and make his roots + the bottom black. the roots symbolize his hat, while the bottom symbolizes his arms and legs. finally, the blue streak was kind of me wanting to incorporate his powers into his character design, and i thought it would be cool if the blue part of his hair glowed when he used his powers too. also his eyes are blue for similar reasons, and also because his eyes turned blue when he offered a deal to gideon(? or someone else can't remember). the entire theory behind his color scheme is obviously sticking to his original one, but also incorporating more blues to clash with the yellows because he's a very conflicted character. he so desperately wants to come off as like this emotionless and chaotic entity when in reality he has weaknesses and feelings and regrets, and his biggest flaw is his own simultaneous ego and insecurity. on this is not a website dotcom (i think, im like 99% sure i saw a ss of this) his listed weakness is himself, along with his favorite thing being himself, which kind of conveys what i was trying to convey with his colors. i felt like a lot of clashing would fit his character and make him sort of "pop" if that makes sense. blue snd yellow are stark opposites the same way his personality is very oppositional to himself and it just felt right. i also included the scar he gained when stan beat him in his mind, and i made that a darker blue not to represent his powers, but to represent his loss and also to be a contrast to the orange i used to shade (the bright blue contrasts the yellow, the dark blue contrasts the orange) to kind of show his weird angstyness afte his loss and sooort of death. i didn't want the scar to be as bright bc obviously its not a source of his power or connected to that in any way, but it still serves as a permanent reminder. i ALSO stopped the outer lineart at his scar to make it look like he was "shattered," to show his crumbling and cracked mental state within the theraprism

some bill/billford sketches from when i was on the plane yesterday (including my human!bill design :)

tumblr butchered the quality :/

[lampea-by-lamplight]

okay so this isn't really an oc intro bc i'm not cruel enough to put all of them on one post

so this is kind of for ask games? so i can actually reblog them? for my two followers who are the same person? anyway @myreidola witness just how many characters and plots tsenpha has and realise that there will be many more

lobelia

junk and disorderly & associates

maeve shea: faerie, junk shop owner, knows more than she lets on

dio: tiripts (aka demon), stressed best friend, drinks too much milk

cande: spirit of deep water, likes freaking people out, maeve's kid

amanta segreti: half fae half elf, artist, lives in the woods (in a house)

noam de witte: half human half slegna (angel adjacent), runs a kid's home, co-parent with maeve (techically)

grant taggart: human(?), work with noam, highly uncomfortable with the idea of love

robbie lamar: human, ex-pirate (probably), obsessed with his hair

sarah desrosiers: human, ex-noble girl, an absolute dumbass

daichi mutō: half human half elf, tinkerer, has lightning magic

mission statement not as advertised

briony april: ex-spirit of healing, not paid enough for this, likes cake

alastair lykaios: human, expressionless and done, bad with feelings

dracul: lizard folk, will bite a table, tends to go with violence

orion griffin 1: human, original orion, cowardly and not ashamed

orion griffn 2: human, copy orion, impulsive and not ashamed

kyria ash: human, archalogist, holds a brain cell (it isn't the only one)

darius heidrich: human, king of lobelia, not as much of an asshole as he seems

assassins & shifters & mediums oh my

malyn chaise: human but death touched, dark sense of humour, likes books but also bows and arrows.

hemlock: human, assassin, only son of the king of lobelia

flannery: fox kin (selkie, but a fox), works in an entertainment troupe, main source of treason

galena holzmann: human, healer, also a dancer in flannery's troupe

spirit squad

astra: spirit of the stars, daughter of the spirit of magic, lives in a cave

august: spirit of the sun, got an ego problem, likes honey

aliena chaise: spirit of stories (eventually), day drinker, gets into trouble a lot

mael: spirit of madness, has goat horns, solves problems by creating other problems

cedar: spirit of healing, briony's twin brother, bad choices were made

caelestis/celeste: spirit of air, trickster, will sleep for a few thousand years out of boredom

pyrrhos: spirit of fire, plays instruments, absolutely terrible with words

kelda: spirit of water, anger issues, has multiple arms made of water

meallán: spirit of lightning, unrepentant wanderer, likes artistic displays

jade: spirit of earth, lives underground, views a lot of people as his children

florence: spirit of nature, somewhat bloodthirsty, doesn't like having his time wasted

sorcha: spirit of light, spouse of nisha, operates a theatre house

nisha: spirit of darkness, spouse of sorcha, fond of songbirds

vega: spirit of birds, holds an oracle-esque position, likes drama

attor: spirit of decay, chills in clearings a lot, vaguely snake-like

bernice chaise: human (ish), likes to tell stories, fond of things that go bump in the night

irides: spirit of the rainbow, likes to dance, almost never wears shoes

messis: spirit of the harvest, beastly in appearance, only soft for a very short list

luana: shark mermaid, princess, scholarly and diplomatic

joie richelieu: shapeshifter, water mage, down to fight whenever and wherever

rio: clown fish mermaid, no sense of style, defensive about it

zenith: shark merperson, very stylish, history buff

cenric: butterfly fish merman, king, luana's adopted dad

terran spencer: human, merlora village leader, cenric's lover

sin du shriek

pride: tiripts, put together at all times, the ringmaster of the sin squad show ig

lust: shapeshifter, the dancing queen of the sin squad show, has a thing with someone in a town they visit

wrath: half human half tiripts, smug little bastard, can't keep his mouth shut

sloth: possessed doll, throws knives when annoyed, is the cook and demands respect

gluttony: revenant, slow but in a "my processing speed is low" kinda way, mainly with sloth

greed: elf, chills in the background drinking something alcoholic, doesn't talk much

envy: bioluminescent merperson, mildly pissed at all times, does the special effects i guess

gladiola

convenient marriages of the royal kind

nicklaus aetos: human, high king of gladiola, seems stoic but is actually really soft

rhea dwerryhouse-aetos: human, high queen of gladiola, extremely chaotic

snakes and birds and repression

lian anguis: snake folk, schemey schemer who schemes, just wants money

ignus anatidae: half human half slegna, significantly less schemey, on the hunt for his brother

the vampiress detective

connor flynn

foxglove

odhran conroy

rosita misterio

biolutoxireautogem

rory

victerria

begonia

rise up & take the crown you forge

giselle delphine popławski/mint: human, displaced princess, lightning mage in a family of water mages

viper: elf, thief with eyes on a prize he won't reveal, probably has a joke for everything

nightshade: faerie, assassin who really wants to poison this one guy, can be sweet

gertrude fortier: human, leader of aforementioned rebellion, definitely aiming to get mint on the throne

silvester jeż: shifter, childhood friend, definitely going through some stuff at this point

a town named magebelle

anisette panettiera

mona cory

nari raconteur

thundra corcoran

astir

sweets & evidence boards

rojda kartal: elf, owns a bakery/cafe, definitely has secrets and definitely likes being mysterious

nihan kartal: elf, started the whole detective thing, mainly operates out of their sister's backroom

osiris lycan: vampire, subsists on a diet of coffee and sugar, not as aloof as he seems

róisín flores: human, wears pretty dresses, just wants to have a talk with whoever keeps cursing him

oscar bonheur: shapeshifter, has nature magic, no one can remember him arriving, just that he was always there (or was he...)

here's my fin & here's my hand

luana: shark mermaid, princess, scholarly and diplomatic

joie richelieu: shapeshifter, water mage, down to fight whenever and wherever

rio: clown fish mermaid, no sense of style, defensive about it

zenith: shark merperson, very stylish, history buff

cenric: butterfly fish merman, king, luana's adopted dad

terran spencer: human, merlora village leader, cenric's lover

it's about the journey

claude

sariel

vérène asteromne

on folk heroes and history

malra

okeanos

rodan

composa

amber

dianthus

courting blood

formeo

hitomi

harvest of light

eoforwine

olwen

hunting for something more

cerise verger

cian fehér

gemma steinmann

kayden rigel

ophelia hagan

sage corentine

of books and mist and blood that spits

forsaken

mistral

tamasa

the bride who carries death

candide brodeur

jerome

the princess ruse

dei

bos

faust

hallie

hyacintha

when heart, mind and soul become one

agrona einar

alexei

ezekiel

linden van der berg

armista

cyrus

seron van laren

editha du blair

phantoms of distant past

amor von østerberg

medeia voss

dáire

oriole van willigen

lilios

an adventuring party walks into a tavern

astrophel

darya grönvall

fitzgerald de fresel

floros

osian malley

tabi

for glory and for honour

anastasia highglory

sometimes a family is villains

alastor

corianne mary

karen

nisha 'eloise'

olindo

skipper

tangi

wisteria reverie

what once was missing, what once was found

imogen 'echo' laguardia

myostea

herbalism & other mysteries

eric hamr

iaso ylva

keir

revenant amore

annalise

gabriel

set a course

grace-anne

james

the cursed grudge

dax

gilda

the death of creation (and what came after)

galiora

under a blue moon

alix

clover howell

paeonia

a matter of opinion (blessings and curses)

barbara clacher

daphne caldwell

melia virág

mordecai

noir schuler

criminals on stage

dolos

heinrik

hinata

ludmila

mako

maya

nari

viola

love at first sight (and again)

lin

ume

veil van aalsburg

wing beats of fate

saitō kasumi

saitō kazuo

rosalius

donna

eislyn bellamy

orphne moreno

émile

prosper de león

vinnie

saguaro

from golden sands

matthias

morgan

nailah

thirteen

antares

australis

cauda

elnath

hamal

hydor

kaus

mali

meb

nashira

ros

spica

zosma

tulipa

contemplation amongst trees

islwyn

onyxre

how i met my cyborg

mith

soraya

victoria martin

of machinery and mischief

hawthorn

sorrell

tally cogsmith

ordeals at the sand bar

cordelia

lir

ophelia 'lia' douglas

these days (our crystal souls)

darkness

light

despair

diamanté

linnie

madame x

zafiro

alma

callahan

moirai

avila

boann

fenrir

gulielma

henrietta

pamphilos

pandora

sonia

blythe wyse

calum garcía

coralie lavoie

lucas hollingsworth

luella lafleur

luka casper sinclair

rainer merrick

wren gardner

urtica

the kingmaker

beatrix von schwarzenberg

[olivyh]

TWST FAMILY HCS PT2) Savanaclaw and Octavinelle

Feel free to tack on your own Hc’s too!!! I love reading what other people think and how their view of the characters and of Twisted Wonderland in general change from person to person!!!

Savanaclaw:

Leona:

-Farena: We already know Leona describes his brother as being carefree and relaxed, but deep under that I think he’s a deeply intelligent man (how can you run a kingdom and be stupid?). He tries his best to make time in his schedule for his wife and child, and even try to get bonding tike with his younger brother (which never works out well). He tries to teach Cheka as much as he can, often giving him little life lessons while they play games. He’s a very kind and straightforward man, often being blunt when he doesn’t mean to. He stands a little taller than Leona, with Orange hair similar to Chekas. He keeps his hair tied out of his face as much as he can.

-Sister-in-law Kingscholar: A strong and confident woman, not afraid to speak her mind when she wants to. She’s blunt and she’d let you know about it. She’s also very kind in her own way, often dragging Leona off and trying to have serious talks with him, which he appreciates but doesn’t show. She adores Cheka and often spoils him without meaning to, and will spoil Leona too (but indirectly in a way similar to Ace’s father’s). Also very intelligent and good at reading people. I think she stands a little shorter than Leona, but she holds herself higher, and he slouches, so it looks as if they’re the same height. She has long yellow hair (again, similar to the ends of Cheka’s) that she often ties back as well.

-Cheka: We already know him, so heres a few Hcs!: He sometimes asks his mother to do his hair the same way as Leona’s, and tries to do everything like him (such as standing like him, trying to deepen his voice to sound like him, throwing sand at various objects in the castle yelling “King’s Roar!!”)

Ruggie:

-Grandma Bucchi: As he said himself, a stern and prideful woman. I think she’d be on the stricter side, having to teach Ruggie how to survive rather than him having to face those hard truths alone. She likely stands a lot shorter, likely 5’0 (sorry to anyone whos that height), than most other beastwomen. She’s a lot physically stronger than she looks, often still trying to pick Ruggie up at his age. She tries to spoil him when she can, trying to make him relax after working and taking over the household chores (which he declines, still cleaning up when she’s not looking- which earns him a smack to the head with a broom). She’s also a prankster, quietly jumping out from corners and scaring Ruggie or one of the other children. I think she feels a lot of regret over seeing Ruggie grow up so fast in the environment that he had, but she’s the proudest grandma ever. Whenever he sends pictures back she boasts to everyone at home (“See that! That’s my grandson’s school! See that there! He plays magift and is one of the best on the team! Look there! He’s got those nice ceremony robes!”), and even boasts about him with what little baby pictures they have (“See him walking at such a young age? Isn’t he so strong?”) Will never stop talking about her grandson, ever.

-Neighborhood kids: I think they’re like little siblings to Ruggie, so I’m adding them. They try to tale over what Ruggie did when he was at home, helping people fix up their houses or entertaining the baby hyenas when their mothers have other things to do. They also leave gifts to Ruggie when he comes back, between little dolls they made, bracelets they thought he’d like, charms, or pretty rocks and leaves. He keeps all of the gifts, no matter how small.

-His mom (bc the poor woman deserves a spot)(Poor meaning unfortunate)(The more i think abt it, both. It means both. Bad time?): I think she looked a lot like him, but with brighter blue eyes than his. She was definitely a prankster at heart, leaving clever traps behind for any poor soul to get stuck in. She was a very hardworker much like her son, taking on any task she could find to help out her mother. I think she’d try to leave as much behind for Ruggie as she could, which would include little notes and scribbles about how she was feeling throughout her pregnancy and how excited she was for him. Ruggie also kept all of those safe and sound, in a small box he keeps in the corner of his room.

(Can you guess who my fav chara is?)

Jack:

-Grandma & Grandpa Howl: A very loving couple, who always make time out of their schedule for their grandchildren, whether it be for school events, emergencies, or if any one of them want to come by and talk. They met when Grandpa Howl got lost and wandered by Grandma Howl’s family’s cabin (which happens to be the one they, and the rest of the family, still live in to this day) and he spent the night. I think they fell in love at first sight :’)

-Mama Howl: A very soft and loving beastwoman who is willing to sacrifice anything for her children. She is often strict, and sometimes a chatterbox, but she always reminds her children to stay safe and that she loves them. She always pats their head or cheek when she walks by, even if she has to reach a little to plant a kiss on Jack’s forehead. I think her hair would be a little darker grey, and she’d definitely be a little more muscular and taller, reaching six ft one when standing straight up. She’d have the same yellow eyes as Jack, and her hair would be cropped shorter due to her still moving around a lot.

-Papa Howl: Very similar to Jack personality and appearance wise. He stands an inch or two shorter than Jack, but is still very muscular due to working around the house and in the woods (chopping wood for the campfire, dragging around tools, carrying three wolf pups at a time in his younger days (only one now wants to be carried, which hurts the poor man’s heart a bit)

-Baby brother Howl: Huffy and a little moody, but a hard worker even if he complains while doing it most of the time. That’s often with his parents, but when he does something with Jack he doesn’t complain a bit. He’s very attached to his older brother, looking up to him for his strength and strong morals. He often compares him to superheroes and star athletes in his mind, but sometimes it slips out, resulting in one very embarrassed wolf boy and another very flattered wolf boy, ignore their wagging tails, it means nothing. I think he stands pretty tall for a preteen, around 5’7-5’8 and growing taller by the day. Same hair and eye color as Jack. Acts like he doesn’t like to play games with his younger sister but will never turn down a game of tag.

-Baby sister Howl: An absolute sweetheart. She just wants the best for her family and will do whatever she can to make what they want happen. Jack is hungry? Good thing she made her special dessert (it’s a poptart with whipped cream messily piled on top with sprinkles and literal sugar cubed wedged in it, but don’t tell her you don’t like it, please she’d actually bawl). Her other older brother is tired? She can get him extra blankets! Mama needs help cleaning? She can mop (she really just throws water on the floor and praises herself for a job well done). Papa need to cut wood? She can- no, she can’t. Please don’t give her an axe. She’ll cheer him from the sidelines with a song she made up just for him instead! She has their mother’s grey hair and father’s dark brown eyes, and loves to do her hair like the princesses she sees on Tv! (Yes, Jack will wear a too-small dress and Tiara if his sister wants to play princess. No, he will not let anyone take pictures.)

Octavinelle:

Tweels:

-Mama Leech: At first glance, a very kind woman with soft eyes. Willing to open her arms to anyone who might need help. Then, a terrifying grin similar to Floyd’s as that poor unfortunate soul realizes the trap they’d been thrown in. She’s very kind and patient towards both her boys and husband, as well as their friends (even of she is on guard near their friends, throwing a few hollow threats to see if it’d scare them away)(She doesn’t like to share her babies). She dotes on the tweels as much as possible, indulging im whatever curiosity they may have. Floyd wants to know what going through riptide is like? They leave tomorrow to find one. Jade wants to know more about life on land? She’ll find as many books as possible and ask (threaten) people for their land belongings. She knows when too far is too far though, and is very skilled at reeling the boys back in if they get to that point. Will always call them her little guppies, no matter how big they get. I think she’d have a teal bob on top, with the underside of her hair being black (which makes her hair look color changing when she swims). Im her human form shes only a few inches shorter than her boys, ranging around the same as Jack’s mother.

-Papa Leech: The definition of old Hollywood New York mob boss. Strict and blunt about his interests and problems, and not afraid to cause any problems if provoked. When the tweels were younger and they’d wrestle and bite at him, he’d throw them off him easily, telling them they need to work to beat him, even if he was impressed by their teamwork at first. Will die to protect his family, and was likely put in that position many times in the past due to his uh… business. He values his wife and children more than anything, and has done everything in his power in the past to protect them from harm. When they went to NRC at first, he felt defeated and almost wanted to beg them to stay safe with him (not that his pride would allow it).(Both the tweels can see through his facade easily)

Azul:

-Grandma ‘grotto: A very stern and prim octomermaid. What she says goes in the Ashengrotto house, and she often catches herself making unnecessary comments. She does apologize. Also a very loving grandmother towards Azul, often babying him whenever possible (doing the classic “you’re not eating enough here take some more” grandma move)(She will smooch his face whenever possible when there are no business clients nearby). Tries to boost his confidence since she knew about what was happening to him (Chances are she went through the same thing- being an octomer as well) and dod her best to protect him and make him happy. She taught him how to write with his tentacles and encouraged him to do his best in everything he does.

-Mama ‘grotto: Another businesslady in the front absolute softie in the back situation. Adores her son and is incredibly proud of how far he’s come.I think she looks identical to Azul, but more heavyset and, of course, female. She coddled Azul as much as possible, which worked out well with baby Azul’s clingy nature. She had no shame in walking around with the little guy stuck to her (unless he smacked a tentacle to her face when she was working on her restaurant), and made sure everyone knew what a good boy he was. She would show pictures to everyone (similar to Ruggie’s grandma), but respects his wishes in wanting to hide pictures of his past. She still shows anyone who asks pictures of him at NRC (compliments to the twins, who send her updates when her son is busy), and will tell everyone how smart he is and how much he’s grown.

-Step-Papa grotto: A very professional man in every aspect of his life, which stretches to his relationship with his stepson. When he learns about the contracts and Azuls UM, he’s over the moon with how happy he is. He swam around with a little more pep than usual, flicking his tail and flaring out his fins the more and more Azul told him. He helps him reword and format his contracts to his advantage, and is always willing to talk with him about Mostro Lounge or (on rare occasion) some memories before Step papa Ashengrotto met Mama Ashengrotto (which always make him happy that Azul trusts him enough). I think he’d be a pretty generic looking Mer, with an average looking tail and such

[lunar-lair]

ok say hello to my insanely new oc who ive made entirely to be a villain who is still an excellent adult and a decent parent, probably. cares too much abt kids. think reigen mob psycho with a drop or two of milla. worked under Nick From The Mailroom and was actually in on his scheme.

has always been rather cold and brash towards adults, but is more caring towards kids. in my brain he has a brooklyn type accent? rough and tumble, walks around without a tie, yknow? they keep him cause he sorts mail real good, though.

(added a read more because this got INSANELY LONG AKSKSK i spent like an hr on this h)

he was a delugeionist, but only because he kinda just wanted to rip the world apart a little; lysandre vibes, thinks a lot of it is scum and needs to go. thinks the *psychonauts* are scum and need to go. hes psychic but suppressed it, think aquato parents but extra toxic about it, and straight up just saying being psychic is unnatural. wouldnt go to loboto parent lengths tho. so he adopted that thought of 'being psychic is unnatural and wrong', which contributed to a lot of self hate that was never learned out. likely, he realizes hes a shitty person and thinks he needs to go too. so like...yknow hank, dbh? kinda the vibe im gettin right now. way more formal, of course, and while usually gruff, is more polite when its needed; can and *will* beat the shit out of you verbally in a factual way, though, and can talk more street-lingo if hes talkin to real thugs. (probably winged it on his own after failing college or smth, hes got the vibes.)

anyways, its this plot where he slinks off and starts planting mistrust in the psychonauts or something. and inevitably he just...shows up and starts kidnapping people. dismantling things from the inside and all that. he left and formed a group who also hated psychics at some point, likely friends of his parents and friends of friends, all from his hometown. all of them fight *insanely* dirty, and a lot of them are insanely vulgar. the kids are supposed to be kept away.

but theres a line to follow here.

this man is a fold to raz. hates the psychonauts, hates being psychic, adopted his parent's hate of psychics, hates the *world.* raz is young and unburdened and unjaded...mostly. hes not the shock of water some young characters can be when it comes to being the foils of other characters; think steven with a villain or something, right? but raz is sassy and a little jaded, and not total sunshine positivity.

hes a child this man could look down on and not be immediately annoyed by, who is worried by yet respects raz's realization of the world as it is, however little that is.

and yet raz is still his foil. he still mostly loves the psychonauts, despite it all, he loves being psychic, for the most part, he dodged adopting his parents previous values, he still seems to have an even view of the world as a whole.

raz is jaded, if only a little, but he moved past it and accepted that things could still be bright. this man is jaded, but he stayed in his stormclouds, never looked for the sun.

ok where. was i. RIGHT ok so. at the beginning of this...story? the man finds raz being talked down to by one of the office workers; someone with weak psychic powers whos insanely jealous of his prowess. an adult who envies the young prodigy. and theyre giving him some insane task to do, like cleaning all of the closets within the hour, but hes saved the world twice, so he smiles and nods along, because he said he would help around the motherlobe, and this adult is asking him to do something that seems simple enough.

and this guy, internally, goes 'bitch.' for a good long second bc 1. dude even if you envy a kid, kinda fucked to show that?? not their fault 2. WHY are you asking a 10 year old to do that. why is there a 10 year old here. holy shit thats a 10 year old oh my god hes so tiny (no one told him there was a 10 year old because they knew hed stomp right up to management but. regardless. he is going to stomp up to management after this and no one can really stop him. except maybe raz well see)

so yknow. dude fixes his slight slouch and walks forward and politely tells this woman that 1. hes 10 why are you jealous of him and 2. hes 10????????? and shes like shit hes 10. and apologizes. and walks away

and raz is VERY ?? bc she was doing what? why is him being 10 important? and its that young part of you that gets pissed when people try to keep you from doing things because youre young and hes DEFINITELY yet to learn that piling responsibilites that should be handled by adults onto a child is fucked up in its own special way (looking at you ford, *nick*)

and the dude calmly explains because yea. he gets that. and he still sounds gruff and a little peeved but he squats down to razs height and he talks simply and factually, telling him straight on why it isnt right.

and. huh. people dont really do that for raz. except for sasha, sometimes, everyone likes to dodge the truth a lot with him, because hes 10, and sometimes, hes too nice to tug it out of them.

and this guy, this man that raz is already polishing a trophy for 'good adulting' in the back of his brain with his striking statements about how adults should handle things and kids should-kids should...get to have fun. not be traumatized.

for the shock on his face when raz said hed already saved the world a couple times, whats some closets. he reigned it in, said that its weird he saved the world, because thats usually their jobs.

and this guy offers his hand on instict before he stands up, even though he doesnt seem very sweet and kind like the adults that usually offer raz a hand. and he takes it, i think. he takes it.

warm. warm, a little nice.

reminds raz of his dad, maybe. he wonders if this man has any kids himself, but keeps his mouth shut, because he thinks he already has the answer, and its yes.

(he doesnt have any. he would wish he did, but he knows hed fail to raise them right.)

and when he stands, he asks raz what he was asking that woman for, and he says hes doing tasks around the motherlobe because his papers are still coming in. the man doesnt ask. (he knows what 'papers' means, realizes this is the tiny junior psychonaut every room in the damn place has been buzzing about, and he has fucking words for forsythe.) he just offers for the kid to sort mail under his supervision.

and that sounds boring. at least, it usually would.

this man is interesting, and a good...person? a good adult? hes...hes new. hes new, and calm, and a little like sasha but a lot not, and he thinks he trusts him.

so raz grins and says yea, mail sorting sounds nice.

(debatably, raz does not take his hand. hes too jaded when it comes to adults. debatably, he does not feel any warmth from this man who has taught him every adult has been telling him wrong. debatably, im projecting. but thats the whole point of ocs, hm?)

and then holes crop up in motherlobe systems. people are kidnapped.

raz keeps seeing the strange man, keeps telling him things, keeps hearing back, gruff and factual and a little annoyed, but raz can almost-just-barely tell its not at him, with the way he talks.

he can tell. he can tell.

he can never tell. this man is making sure he can tell.

raz trusts the man, is still polishing that trophy for 'best adulting' he has settling in the back of his mind.

and then the man comes with a militia.

he did not seem jaded. he did not seem hateful. he never showed any anger or hate towards raz.

but thats because he knows kids dont deserve it.

an excellent moral or two. a rotten, broken heart.

and at first, they keep the kids away, because these people fight dirty, because this isnt their battle, because the man has been sending emails about why 15 year olds are in a secret psychic agency.

(he does not mention raz. by razs second visit, he had just marked the boy down as another reason to hate the psychonauts as a whole, and especially its higher ups.

hes also regretting his alliance to nick by about the third. if he had known the man would puppet a child as if they were a toy, he would have organized his own rebellion ages ago.)

but eventually, the psychonauts need all hands on deck.

they send the children to find the missing agents.

the interns are fought on the way. some of them avoid the child, know the boss would pummel them.

they get to the base, and the strange man, the one with the broken trophy for 'best adult' (still barely-polished, because hes still so sure) still nestled in the back of razs brain, is still there.

the junior psychonauts are spotted. one of the guards throws a few rocks aimlessly.

they surprise them. one almost hits raz.

its intercepted instead.

and the other junior psychonauts watch as this man, their enemy, a villain, in their eyes, reprimands the other man for even accidentally daring, for even trying. for doing something they might have done just a month or so ago, if they had decided he was too much weirder than they already had.

and he yells something like, "Why the hell is he even here?! This is an enemy base, of whats a rebellion! This is a *10 year old*! What kind of adult sends a child *near* something like that?!" and he truly sounds angry this time, raz finds. hes too angry to keep it in. he still sounds gruff and oddly proper. raz is standing there, arms hanging. hes baffled in a specific way, the way he was every time the man's brow furrowed when he mentioned a harrowing story, the way he was the first day they met.

and he asks, a little quiet, a little small, a reminder of how young he really is, "Why are you still trying to keep me safe? We're supposed to be enemies now."

And his brow furrows further before flattening out, and he tilts onto one leg, and he swears he almost kneels to a knee.

He cant believe it. He really cant.

"You're 10." he says simply, softly, that factual way. "You shouldn't even be here."

and raz pauses. the interns freeze.

"...well, here I am."

and i think...it would be so intriguing if this was done halfway out of the mind, because this man is so against anything psychic. it would be so *compelling.*

so raz steps forward and asks again, asks why hes doing this.

and the mans eyes harden, he tries to turn off that soft heart, trying to remind himself of all that he hates. because he hates the psychonauts, because he sort of hates the world.

and raz asks why he could ever hate the psychonauts, head tilted, before listing off the few he knows to be true. but other than that, how? and ok, the world sucks a little, yea, hes seen that, gets that.

and he appreciates that this kid isnt totally gung ho about existence.

but he hates that he isnt, too.

and its this back and forth. everything the man hates, why he hates it. raz saying why its good but admitting why its bad.

and hes swayed, just a little.

but the man stands up from the kneel hed inevitably instinctively put himself into, and walks forward, hand held out yet again.

"You shouldn't be in the Psychonauts," he tells him, soft, factual, brow furrowed. "Come with me. I'll bring you back to your parents, or wherever it is you want to go."

raz contemplates. thinks, for a long moment.

he grabs the mans hand, warm and firm, yet again, for a terrifying moment.

before he reaches up to slap a mental door on his forehead, and astral projects into it.

he thinks this man is good. thinks hes just jaded.

thinks hes the best adult hes ever met, one who just happens to hate a lot of things.

hes only 10.

hes not letting someone who can tell him so clearly whats wrong and right for adults to tell him go that easily.

aaaand yknow. raz does his razzy thing. learns about why the guy hates the world and the psychonauts and himself. helps him learn that its not all bad, that he was excellent to raz, and still is, that things can be bad and good all at once.

the man concedes that raz is very capable, very smart, and can do a lot. but that doesnt mean he should have to.

raz tells him, though, that he likes working for the psychonauts. its his dream. and he realizes some things he was told to do were kinda screwed up, now. that maybe, in honesty, he was dealt a bad hand.

but hes done what he can with that hand, and he ended up with a royal flush.

and uh! yknow!! then raz leaves his mind and he calls off the rebellion! its like a rhombus of ruin type adventure, except without the villain being present beforehand. its just not clustered in insanely close with a ton of other wild shit.

anyways this got really long? sorry?? its an oc i just saw good adult and slight father vibe potential in the vibe i instantly got on him and then i went feral???? rip maybe someone will read this and if you did. congrats i honestly really liked how the whole foil and good-yet-bad and consideration of raz being 10 thing worked out. this oc is almost like our representative in the psychonauts world the way reigen is for the audience in mp100. yea :) i match them up a lot but thats just cause they vibe a lot. anyways its 1:40 am now and i spent abt an hour on this hope it vibed mildly byeeee

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Mal'ak Box Symbolism

(14x11/14x12)

Hi My lovelies! Today we are gonna talk about another Dean's emotional prison: The Mal'ak Box.

This meta is a resume of my season 14 metas from these episodes.

You can find 14x11 and 14x12 here: X, X, X, X, X and X.

Coming Back to the Prison

The whole episode 14x11 was Dean saying goodbye to his beloveds (Sam, Donna and Mary). Avoiding to face Castiel because even when he said Sam was the only one who could convince Dean to not do that, Castiel was the only one who could really stop him.

There was a few things I want to point out before jumping to next episode:

Mary and Donna talking about their break ups with their lovers' was a foreshadow for the incoming Destiel break up.

The Mal'ak Box was a symbolic representation of Dean in the closet and writers pushing him there (yeah, writers and C*W). By making AUMichael (Dean's toxic masculinity) hitting his head each time he was thinking in a way out. This way out means Dean accepting his feelings for Castiel and finally confessing his love for him.

Dean's ILY Journey was following it's steps by telling Sam'I love you guys for trying', after his ILY to his mom in episode 12x20, interrupted again in episode 15x09. So sad.

Another important addition to the symbolism of the construction of this box was the fact that while Dean was making it, there was sparkles in the air and the sparkles were showering hot brunette shirtless cowboys that were blatantly Castiel's mirror. This was because Dean was thinking about Castiel while he was making that box to repress his feelings for him forever.

Dean and words

Writing just a few words about the whole biblical symbolism of episode 14x12, the only important point was each one of the references were linked to the sacrifice of the first born, it means, to Dean and his Mal'ak Box. But it was also preluding Jack's death at the end of the season. And the attempt of Dean of killing him.

Another creepy thing was Nick and Lucifer representing a dar Destiel mirror. The whole prayer to Luci in the Empty and the awakening of Lucifer through Nick's longing just like Dean did through his longing and Jack with Castiel in the Empty (13x03). And I innocently thought it was a foreshadow of Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty at the end of the show. (Sobs loudly).

I'm gonna focus this second half just on the two Destiel scenes in episode 14x12.

So... Bc Castiel represents everything Dean wants and represents everything what he can't have and is reminding him all the time that HE'S LOVED AND HE DESERVES TO BE SAVED AND HE IS WORTH IT, he needs to AVOID HIM. Bc the FIRST BORN SACRIFICE REQUIRES NOT HAVE THIS THINGS.

The first one was the phonecall.

Gif set credit @starsmish

Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind

I wrote all of those thoughts after comparing Dean Winchester's communicating his feelings to his brother (which he does it well and honest) against Dean Winchester communicating his feelings to Castiel (a perfect failure).

This is because Sam represents Family Love and Castiel romantic love, which make things more difficult to Dean.

Now, let's go to thw Hospital and Dr. Cas (fanservice and a delight to see).

The dialogue between Dean and Castiel was full of second meanings.

CAS: Hey, Dean. What happened to him – that was my fault. It was necessary. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t regret it. It doesn’t mean that I don’t wish that there could’ve been another way.

DEAN: I know the feeling.

CAS: Oh, no. No, please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. Just stop.

DEAN: Okay, alright. Why don’t we talk about that later?

CAS: Because, according to your plan, there won’t be a later.

This is funny, because is Dean the one bringing the topic and when Castiel tries to keep talking about it, with his obvious against the plan position, Dean is avoiding it again.

DEAN: Cas… if you are a friend of mine, then you will understand that I have to do this and you won’t try to stop me. You think this is easy on me? It has to be done.

Gif set credit @starsmish.

Castiel shooting again with honesty, and Dean... Can't respond... But look at his face. He swallows, dimples of discontent, and the movement of his face and his eyes are saying: "Please don't make me say it... I could never say goodbye to you."

To Conclude:

I think the Mal'ak box was a recoil of Dean's character and it was a prelude of his sad ending.

The differences between San and Dean communication and Dean and Castiel communication are huge. The centric meaning in all of that is because Sam represents family and Castiel represents Dean's love interest, everything what Dean wants and he can't have.

Hope you liked this one, see you in the next one.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

Vol. CIX, CX, CXI, CXII, CXIII, CXIV, CXV.

Buenos Aires June 6 2021 2:32 PM

[wannaliveattheholidayinn]

Alright, now that I've been given a few hours to stew and think and cry and have several breakdowns over the cancellation,,, let's talk about how I found this show, my relationship to it, and why I love this show

Anyone who's interacted with me in this fandom, be it over tumblr or in the discord know I started watching because my dance teacher was an extra in the Help! scene (bc I never shut the fuck up about it). But it did start a little earlier.

I had seen a few ads, on NBC and on YouTube. I thought it looked interesting, but I was in sophomore year, having breakdowns just about every other day, the homework was hard, and there were also reports of the virus. At the time it seemed so far away, but I had a feeling it would arrive soon. So it didn't seem like something I could add to my plate. I thought it would simply become another Good Girls to me (aka a show I really wanted to watch, and still kinda do, but I never really got around to it.) So, watching it kind of fell to the back of my mind. And then... that fateful day.

It was a big deal when the teacher would put on the TV in the main studio. It didn't happen often, and when it did, it always had to do with dance in some way. But my teacher was on YouTube and googling Zoey's. We sat down, I even grabbed my glasses so I could see what we were watching. We picked up at the ladies singing "Whatta Man" which the owner of my studio was howling at. I'm lucky enough that two of my teachers have been involved in Smuin Ballet in San Francisco, one still currently in the company (although she just had a baby and... y'know professional dance is hard in the pandemic.) I'm also lucky enough to have met another former Smuin dancer who was also an extra in the Help! scene. So, my teacher pointed himself and the other former Smuin dancer out, funnily enough, they were similarly dressed. So, the scene ended and we went on with our class. I went home and put on the first episode.

And then... well we all know what happened next. The US went into lockdown, and there wasn't much to do.

And yeah, I had school. I went into the two five pm history classes I had, I still had homework,,, but other than those two history classes and the occasion english class there was nothing... dance had stopped, homework, class, and the workload changed. Suddenly, I was left with a lot of free time. So, continued to watch Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist. For a while, it was Killing Eve and Zoey's Playlist, but then that went away, and it was just Zoey.

(also, yes, I'm aware this isn't linear and in chronological order, but give me a break, my memory is already shit and this pandemic just made it worse.)

In April, I wrote my first fanfiction for the show. It was this small, little piece of fluff that showed a future Zimon and their four kids (four kids, Jesus Christ, what was I onnnnnn). It's already outdated bc of my use of Eddie and not Perry but I still hold it very dear to my heart. It was posted on ao3 on Jun 13, 2020, and was my first fanfic on the site. I've posted more since then, but it's still overwhelmingly zep there, and I currently have two ongoing fanfics. My goal is to become that person in the zep fandom who is known for her works where people perceive Zimon's relationship, in a funny but wrong way (and when I say people, I (mostly) mean Tobin.)

I love Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist. It's made me laugh, made me cry, made me sing along with it, and made me actually fully enter a fandom. I've considered myself in fandom long before Zoey's, but Zoey's actually had me interacting with others. It's technically not my first fandom. I'd say that was Mighty Med, all the way back in sixth grade. But it's the first where I've actively interacted with others and even made an acquaintance (Isabella ily 💗).

Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist had moments that made it hard for me to love it the way I do. There have been some bad writing decisions. I personally don't ship cl*arkeman, even though it's clear they are endgame.

But, I still love it. It was a coping mechanism in a hard time, and I love that it helped me. And I know it helped others as well.

I know not everyone is going to understand my comparison to Cloak and Dagger. They are vastly different shows. But the cancellation... that's what gets me the most about both. They were both canceled in a way where the fandom was going to feel like crap. Both were canceled after two seasons when they had more story to tell. It was done quietly, and there was backlash. Different programs eyed them. The difference is we don't know how this one will end yet. Cloak and Dagger was canceled, and I'll never be the same. I'll never truly be over it. And while I know I'm not in the right headspace to process this cancellation, I think I may be able to find a way. It'll be really, really fucking hard. But I'm slowly getting there with Anne with an E, and I think I could with Zoey's. It was an incredible show while it lasted, and if it's its time to go... I'm glad for the time I had with it and will help keep it going along with others in the fandom. All that being said...

Save Zoey's Playlist

Start petitions (ig, idrk how change.org works), keep it trending on Twitter, let NBC know it made a mistake, and let other streaming services know we're interested in seeing the show go on. It deserves a clean resolution that's not a cliffhanger. Just let these characters be happy in the end.

This doesn't have to be another Cloak and Dagger, or Timeless, or whatever show anyone has felt never got a proper chance to tell its story and end in a satisfying way. It can be another Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or Lucifer, or Friday Night Lights (me, side-eyeing NBC for that one). This doesn't have to be the end. And maybe I'm too late to writing this, maybe it's not trending anymore and it won't trend again, and it won't get picked up. But at least we can say we tried.

This was long as fuck to write, and I could've put that time towards... idk homework ig, or writing the fanfiction I just started, or any of my ongoing two. But it felt it necessary to write this. I don't know why, maybe I just needed to get this shit off my chest. If no one in the fandom reads this... eh, I really can't blame you, it's long as all fuck.

If you did, and you got this far, I love you, I love this fandom, I don't regret my time here, and I hope you don't either. It means the world to me that you read this.

I love you all, and I'll shut up now 💖💗💖💗

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Dan Povenmire, co-creator of Phineas and Ferb and the voice of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, just did a zoom call for fans, and this is a link to it on Google Drive and a link to it on YouTube.

Here’s a brief overlay brought to you by my incessant live blogging, and because I was speed typing on my phone, I can guarantee not everything made the cut. If you’re interested in hearing Dan talk about growing up an artist and becoming an animator and trying to pitch Phineas and Ferb and working on the show and movies, I would definitely suggest checking out the full 75 minute video. The highlights from the call are below the cut.

They added Doof and Perry because they liked chase scenes. They realized fairly quickly that more than not, the pair led to good comedy, and found it much more interesting to see how their relationship developed. He also says that they are "the most important person to each other” and “they’re really good friends.”

They wrote the Perry theme song in an hour between meetings with Disney

They decided during the pilot that they weren't going to try to get comedy from the characters saying mean things to each other. Even Doofenshmirtz wasn't motivated by evil, he just wanted to get the attention he didn't get at home.

Doof’s backstories were not Dan and Swampy's idea. They were from Jon Barry and Chris Hendrick, who [itched the lawn gnome backstory. It was long and compliated and Dan and Swampy couldn’t stop laughing. They also provided the "it all started on the day of my birth” one the next day.

making the 2D movie while making the movie was the busiest Dan says he has ever been, and that's not even counting the PnF Take Two and Doof's web show and all the interviews. Basically, 2010ish was a very busy time in the Dwampyverse.

They decided to give each pair of writers their own section of an outline to work on, and each pair got to make up the dialogue and jokes based on it. it works well for the show, but writers kept going on their own tangents and the movie ended up like 6 hours long. Dan and Kyle Menke had to redraw 80% of the show because they had to cut gags out and rewrite it so it was still funny. Note: in the new movie, they did the opposite — they wrote a script and told the board artists that they could put brief gags in but nothing too long

He thinks the show became one of the most beloved shows bc it was innocent and the adult humor wasn't dirty so the whole family could watch it together. He also said the songs at the closest thing you get to immortality in a show. Those combined made the show as big of a hit as it was, and hopefully those things will get older people to watch the movie.

His advice if you want to follow in his footsteps are to draw (and suggest you check out Cartoon Animation by Preston Blaire and How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way by Stan Lee) and to know that these jobs are out there

One of his favorite gags in PnF are the silent moments where something big happens and no one reacts (like something big fell in an early episode and crashed next to Phineas and co and at first they were all shocked but Dan changed it to them just kinda looking at it for a moment with no emotion)

Q: Did you ever want to quit what you were going?

A: "I don't really... do... anything else..."

He finished his new pilot today (July 2nd, 2020) and the movie is due tomorrow.

He would love to do more PnF and there's been talks of another PnF movie

He would love to do more Milo Murphy's Law, but it never got huge ratings and Disney's not too big on it but if people start watching it on Disney+ they might get to keep doing it. They did that with Family Guy, and it could happen to MML too.

The movie feels like old Phineas and Ferb and there are a lot of great songs! 

And now, the Q&A (in which he draws random characters are he talks)

How was the process of kicking the voices?

It was sometime easy but sometimes very difficult. For Phineas, they listened to maybe a thousand people. they actually recorded someone but they put it to animation and it didn't really work. He knew as soon as he heard Vincent that he loved him. They literally recasted the lead (Vincent) the day before they had to deliver the pilot.

He knew immediately that he liked Alison Stoner. She was the second Isabella he heard, and he listened to maybe 50 others afterwards, but he knew he wanted Alison Stoner

They decided on a different Candace and they sent it to the head of the channel and the guy asked if he heard Ashley Tisdale. He told Dan to have her come in and give her direction and Dan was hesitant bc he had one that he liked but he was lowkey forced to bring her in. It was his only audition that day, and after his big block of text Dan gave her like 20 notes and she wrote the notes on the big block of text and she did it again and it was perfect and obviously Candace (but he feels bad for the actress that was almost Candace bc she'll never know how close she was)

What was the most impactful episode you worked on?

Either the last (hard to watch w/o crying) or three moments that made himcey while doing them: the end of Summer Belongs To You when Phineas gives up trying to get off the island and decides to watch the sunset with Isabella which was what she always wanted and she exploded and talked him back up onto being the person he is even tho it's a sacrifice on her behalf. He later says he started crying while pitching to his wife the AYA scene of Phinabella getting together.

Do you regret any episodes?

There are some he likes more and some he likes less but he doesn't regret any of them. He was a little disappointed in an early episode without a sing but he watched it alter and decided it was actually pretty decent. None of them make him cringe or wonder why they did that.

How has social media impacted PnF?

He recently got on TikTok and found out that's where all the PnF fans are. He was thrilled to see the response everything was getting and it made him feel good about everything he accomplished. The fact that this generation knows what an aglet is is his biggest accomplishment in pop culture.

Favorite part of working on the show/movie

He likes editing, but writing the songs is the most fun bc it feels the least like work

Who is Ferb's mom?

Never established or really thought about Ferb's mom or Phineas's dad AND IT'S NOT DOOFENSHMIRTZ THEY MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR THAT TO BE TRUE STOP ASKING and Phineas and Candace are full brother and sister. The bio parents aren't interesting to them bc the family already has a mom and dad and the other ones are just out of the picture and not important.

Will there be a new character in the movie?

Super Super Big Doctor (and Disney keeps telling him what he can and can't talk about)

Are there any secrets or theories that he can tell them?

The freaking creepy pasta about schitzophrenic Candace IS NOT TRUE Phineas and Ferb do exist and are alive. There's also a theory that Candace is not based on the diary of a teen girl in Russia who killed herself, and that's not true either. He genuinely thinks they are really freaking stupid theories and they make no sense at all.

Who is your favorite guest star?

Writing a song with Slash from Guns n Roses was really cool. He also liked working with Ben Stiller, Christian Slater the delivery guy (he called and said he'd do any part in MML so they wrote him a role), Jack McBrayer (Irving/Fix It Felix), Wayne Brady (co-wrote In The Empire)

What is the motivation of Candace to bust the boys?

He's not trying to hurt them. She doesn't dislike them. She gets irritated but she's really just looking for fairness. If she built a rollercoaster in the backyard, she'd get in trouble, so they should get in trouble, too.

How did you think about hot to end the show?

Disney was starting to cool off on PnF. The merch wave had plateaued. Dan and Swampy had the next two years in the show already made, but Disney wouldn't pick up another season until they finished airing that season. They'd have to restaff for a new season and they didn't like that idea, so they turned one of their hour long specials into the finale. He wanted to be able to say goodbye and thank the fans.

[onceuponastory]

Coming Back Home - Chapter Five: The Time of My Life

“So I'll tell you something This could be love, because I've had the time of my life No, I never felt this way before Yes I swear, it's the truth And I owe it all to you�� - (i’ve had) the time of my life: bill medley and jennifer warnes (aka the song from dirty dancing)

Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable…until her sister asks her to show Nick around town…a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.

Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? (based on prompt by @orphicodysseywrites​)

Tag List: @shinydixon​, @baker151910​ and @thesundrop​. Let me know if you want to be added!

Warnings: Some mentions of alcohol

Note: I’m so sorry this chapter took so long! I’ve been super busy during Christmas because I work retail, and when I got home, I was so drained and unmotivated to write something, but here we are! I hope y’all enjoy the emotional roller coaster this chapter will take you on ;) Also, this chapter has some parts told in Nick’s POV for the first and definitely not the last time

Read the other parts / Read this story on Wattpad!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!

Later That Day

“How about this one?” Nick suggests. I scrunch my nose up. We were both trying to figure out what song to dance to at the wedding. Yes, we’ve left it late, but given everything that’s happened since we got here, can you blame us?

���Absolutely not.” Nick sighs. “What?”

"It’s a fun song! It’ll get people dancing.”

“Nick, even though we both look good, I don’t think dancing to Sexy and I Know It will be a good idea. Unless we want to give our great aunts a heart attack.” Sighing, Nick nods, crossing it off his list. “Now, I have made a playlist for this very occasion, so let me put it on...” I announce, crossing over to my phone.

“Of course you have. Katie’s told me about how many playlists you have Y/N. How many do you have now? Fifty?” Nick teases. Ignoring him, I hit play. Soon, the sounds of Waterloo by ABBA fills the room. Nick gives me a look. “ABBA? Seriously?”

“What do you mean, ‘seriously’ ?!” I ask. “They’re iconic! This song won them Eurovision!”

“That’s true, but no. No ABBA." I roll my eyes.

“No taste.” I shake my head. Ignoring me, Nick hits skip. The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing starts playing. Nick and I look at each other. My mouth drops open, and he raises an eyebrow. “What?! This song is iconic! This scene is iconic! Patrick Swayze is an incredible dancer in this scene!”

“That’s true. He’s a great dancer. But I’m not that good.” 

“I can’t judge that Nick, I’ve never seen you dance.” Nick laughs.

“That’s a good thing. You’ll see at the wedding.”

“Come on! Get some practice! Dance with me.” I urge, holding out my hands. “Please?!”

“Oh, no. Did you hear what I just said?” Ignoring him, I take his hand, gently leading him into the centre of the room. “Y/N. I’d only ever do something like this for you, but I’m telling you that I’m going to stand on your feet and you will regret ever asking me to dance with you.” He sighs, taking my other hand. I start dancing, whilst Nick stands there, awkwardly moving. 

“See! This isn’t so bad!” I smile. “I’ve had...the time of my life....” I start singing. Nick laughs. “I get to endure your dancing, and you get to endure my singing. It’s only fair.”

“Guess that’s true. In that case, I should dance properly.” Nick moves closer, places his hand around my waist, and takes my other hand in his. I gasp. Did not expect him to be so close. Nick twirls me under his arm. 

“I’veeee, had the time of my lifeeee...” I sing to myself. Nick laughs. “What? I know I’m not that good at singing, but this song is SO good, can you blame me?!”

“You’re not that bad.” Nick smiles, continuing to twirl and dance with me around the room. “Do you even remember the dance from this film?” He asks.

“Kinda? To be honest, all I remember is the lift. You don’t have to lift me by the way.” Nick frowns.

“I think...he dips her like this.” Nick mumbles, and before I can even do anything, he gently but effortlessly dips me. I let out a little squeal, and he quickly pulls me up, asking if I’m okay. Still breathless, I can’t even reply.

“For someone who says he can’t dance, you’re...really good.” I gasp eventually.

“Guess I’m full of surprises.” He grins. As the song draws to a close, Nick continues to hold me close. It was nice...really nice. I could stay like this forever. The music changes in the background behind us, but neither of us notice. “So...” Nick begins. “Which song do you think we should choose?”

“Well, if we pick this one, everyone will expect you to lift me.” He nods. 

“We could try if you want?” He asks, dropping his hands to my waist.

“No, no, no, no, no, NICK!” I squeal as he lifts me off of my feet. “I’m ticklish! No!” I start giggling and squirming, so much so that Nick drops me. As I fall, so does he, and he lands on top of me.

“You okay?” He asks, his voice husky. I nod, breathless. He moves some hair out of my face, gazing into my eyes. “Good.” He smiles. His face has never been so close to mine before. I can see little flecks of gold in his eyes. They’re beautiful...like he is. Nick sits up and gently helps me up onto my knees. “Sure you’re okay?” He asks, and I nod again. 

“Nick, it’s okay. Honestly. Thanks for today, though.” I smile, scooting over and hugging him. “Sorry you had to endure my singing though.”

“Sorry you had to endure my horrible dancing.” Nick replies. The two of us sit there for what feels like forever, but is probably just a few minutes, holding each other. Reluctantly, I pull apart.

“I better go. Katie wanted me to help finish up some of the stuff for the bachelorette party.” I announce, getting up and picking up my phone. “Bye, Nick.” I give him a small wave before walking out of the room. As soon as I’m out of his eyeshot, I lean against the wall and sigh. What is it with me these days? I had suddenly started to feel an intense desire to stay close to Nick, and spend as much time with him as possible...but gotten way more awkward at the same time. Sighing, I walk upstairs to meet Katie.

It’s probably nothing...right?

~~~

A Few Days Later: The First Night of the Bachelorette Party Weekend - 6 Days til the wedding.

“Okay, so this is the number for the hotel, even though you’re not meant to be texting or calling me....but I won’t tell!” Katie talks to Adam as I carry my suitcase towards the stairs. It’s finally here: the bachelorette party. Katie, the rest of the bridesmaids and I were travelling to a nearby town to go drinking and dancing. To save driving back to Saint Chase in the middle of the night, we were all staying in a local hotel. Sighing, I pull my suitcase towards the stairs, ready to walk down them one step at a time, whilst also trying to keep a hold on my other bags. I stifle a yawn. Since Katie and I were going down early to set up the hotel rooms, it meant we all had to get up super early, and I was nowhere near close to functioning. Not that I was usually, but today was worse.

“Need some help?” Nick asks suddenly, popping up behind me, causing me to jump and almost lose my balance. My suitcase is close to tumbling down the stairs, nearly taking me with it. But Nick holds his hands out and catches it as best as he can.

“Shit, Nick! You need to stop sneaking up on me like that!” I scold. Even though I liked seeing him, I did not like it if it meant a heart attack came along with it.

“Sorry, I just saw you were struggling, and I saw those stairs, so I thought I could help.” He shrugs. I sigh. I mean, he was right. I did need help.

“...Yeah, you’re right.” I nod. “Can you take these?” I ask, passing him most of my bags.

“God, what is IN these things?” Nick asks as he gets increasingly more laden down. “I thought you girls were only going away for the weekend?”

“Yup.” I nod, popping the p. “These bags have our sashes, some balloons, other accessories like the mini veil and tiara, headbands....the photo booth props....” I trail off when I notice Nick looking at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “Yeah, bachelorettes are intense. And Katie and I are going down early to set up, so I have to bring everything now. Hence...all this.” I gesture around with my free hand. “And this suitcase has our makeup, outfit changes, and spares, just in case.” Nick still looks horrified. 

“We’re just gonna stay here, play some video games and drink some beers.” He states, making me laugh.

“Welcome to the world of the bachelorette party, Nick. Trust me, I was the same when I first started planning. Now...I am the master.” I strike a pose, and Nick laughs. “And besides, if you think this is bad, wait till you see our stuff for the day of the wedding.” Nick’s eyes go wide again, making me laugh. Nick helps me down the stairs with everything, and he and Adam help Katie and I pack the car full of our things.

“Okay, that’s us all loaded up! Bye, handsome.” Katie tells Adam, pulling him into a kiss, whilst Nick and I stand around slightly awkwardly. 

“Well, uh...have fun. Be sure to...show me pictures?” 

“Only if you show me some from the bachelor party too.” Nick nods. “Well...bye Nick.” I smile, giving him a small wave and walking towards the car. 

“Y/N, wait!” He calls, and I turn around. He walks up to me and gently takes my hands in his. I immediately feel shivers up my arms. Nick speaks again, his voice now hushed. “If you have a nightmare again, or if you need someone to talk to, give me a call, alright? Doesn’t matter how early or late it is. I want you to know I’ll always be there for you.” I feel tears rising in my eyes all over again.

“Nick...are you sure?”

“Positive.” He pulls me into a hug before I can even react. “Have a fun weekend.” He whispers, squeezing me so tightly that I swear my heart stops. In a good way, though. Nick and I pull apart, and as I gaze into his blue eyes, I realise that I don’t want to go. Even though I knew I had to support my sister, and I knew I did want to go....a stronger part of me just wanted to stay and hang out with Nick.

“Come on, Y/N!” Katie orders. “We need to go if we’re going to have any chance of setting up before the girls arrive!” Blushing slightly, I turn back to Nick. 

“Bye Nick.” I smile. He wishes me goodbye, and I get into the car besides Katie. The two of us wave as we pull out of the driveway, Nick and Adam waving us goodbye as we go. As the house fades out of view, the feeling from before, the desire to stay, returns. I try and ignore it, but it’s intense. “What is wrong with me?!” I think to myself. Whatever it is, I better forget it soon, or I’ll be thinking about Nick for the whole night.

~~~

That Night

Pushing open the door to the karaoke bar, the six of us walk in. 

“YAAAAAY! KARAOKE!” Katie calls, slightly tipsy already.

“I cannot believe you’ve talked me into this. I’m not even that drunk or a good singer!” I hiss. I know I’ve already sung in front of Nick, but this was different. I was comfortable with Nick, but there were people here. People who could hear me. People who I don’t know.

“Come on, Y/N! It’ll be fun! And don’t you worry, once you get some more shots in you, you’ll be right up on that stage.” Sam grins. Sam was another member of Katie’s bridal party. Altogether, there was me, Caroline, Sam, Sam’s wife Vanessa, and Katie’s college roommate Brooke. I was so thankful that Katie has such a small bridal party. It makes my life so much easier. 

“And besides, you don’t have to be a good singer...to be honest, most people aren’t.” Brooke smiles.

“If you say so....” I mumble. The group of us sit in a booth and order some drinks to get started. I’m going to need a lot more of these to get through this karaoke. If they think I’ll be up on that stage, they have another thing coming.

~~~

Two Hours Later

“Cause tonight for the first time....just about half-past ten....for the first time, in HISTORY....it’s gonna start raining meeeeeen!” I sing into the microphone. The girls cheer from the table. “IT’S RAINING MEN!” Brooke and I both sing/shout into the microphone, our arms around each other.

“I mean we’re gay but yessss!!! Love that!” Vanessa and Sam shout. It turns out it only takes a few more wines to get me up on the stage. Who knew? Brooke and I continue the song and finish to thunderous applause, mostly from the rest of the girls. 

“You’re right!! That was so fun!!!!” I grin, jumping up and down. “I’m sorry for doubting youuuuu.” I pull Brooke into a hug, which she returns. The two of us sit back down at the table. “Katie! Katie! Did you see me?!” I ask. “Wasn’t I good?! Can you believe....Nick had the cheek to say I wasn’t that bad. I’m a star in the making.”

“Who’s Nick?” Sam asks. 

“Well. He’s Adam’s best man. And he is cute as hell.” I grin. Fumbling with my phone, I open instagram to Nick’s profile. “SEE?!” I exclaim, showing them my phone screen. 

“Babeeee, your thumb’s in the way.” Katie tells me, trying to swat it out of the way. I move it, and soon a chorus of ‘awwws’ and ‘wows’ fills the air. 

“You’re right, he’s gorgeous!” Brooke nods. 

“Right? I wish he could see me now. I’m so hot.” The girls agree. “Wait. Katie...I have an idea.”

~~~

A Few Hours Later

Nick’s POV

Yawning, I put my phone on charge and place it on the nightstand. The boys and I had had a fun night together, but I was exhausted, so I decided to go to bed. As I close the curtains, I hear my phone start buzzing on the nightstand. I pick it up, and a bunch of text notifications from Katie pop up on the screen. Chuckling to myself, I open the texts. If I know anything about Katie, I know she’ll most likely be drunk by this point. A picture of Y/N flashes up on the screen, accompanied by a text saying: 

“LOOK HOW GORGEOUSSSSS MY SISTER LOOKS!!!!!!! BET YOU MISS HER, HUH?!” and about a million emojis. I tap on the picture of Y/N, enlarging it. Katie obviously took it whilst she was getting ready, unbeknownst to Y/N. She’s smiling as she applies her makeup, and is looking over at one of the bridesmaids, probably laughing at a joke or something. I smile. She looks so...natural? I’ve been so used to seeing Y/N being fake happy to appease either myself or her sister, and seeing her naturally, with a big smile on her face, not knowing anybody’s watching or taking her photo...she looks beautiful. I mean, she always looks gorgeous, but this time...she looked even more gorgeous. Radiant even. I didn’t even know that was possible. And Katie was right. I do miss her. It was crazy, I’ve only known her for two weeks at this point, but she was quickly becoming someone I cared about, and someone I wanted to see after the wedding. I mean, we had almost kissed...which I initiated...and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wished that we had kissed. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting her that quickly. 

I scroll down, and notice a video, which Katie has helpfully captioned with “4 u ;)” I hit play. Y/N Is standing by a karaoke machine, wearing a black sequined jumpsuit, a pink maid of honour sash, and a tiara. She looks great.

“This is for youuuu Nick!” She calls, sounding pretty drunk, pointing directly into the camera. The music starts playing, and I start laughing as soon as I recognise it. It’s Dancing Queen by ABBA. Of course. Y/N immediately starts singing and dancing around the stage. She told me earlier on she couldn’t sing, but she was actually pretty good. I find myself softly singing along as she sings. Soon, the song ends, and she takes a bow to thunderous applause from the bar. She comes running up to Katie’s phone. “Were you filmin?” She asks, before looking right into the camera. “NICK! I hope you enjoyed that, even though you have NO TASTE!!! See you on Sunday!” She blows a kiss to the camera, making me smile. “...Oooh is that more champagne?” She asks, immediately walking away, making me laugh. I type out a text to Katie:

“You’re right. She does look gorgeous. Tell her I enjoyed the song. Enjoy the rest of your night girls x” I put my phone back on the nightstand and get into bed. Sighing, I look up at the ceiling. What is it with me? Y/N has been occupying my thoughts ever since she and Katie left, and I have no idea why. “You know why, you idiot.” Part of me tells myself. “It’s because you like her.” No, that can’t be it...can it? I mean, I had almost kissed her. Oh shit. Maybe I did like her. I prop myself up on my elbow and pick up my phone again. I start scrolling through my photos from the past two weeks. Y/N’s in almost every one. I feel butterflies within as I see her face smiling back at me. Oh god. I think I do like her. But there’s no way she feels the same. 

~~~

The Next Morning

Y/N’s POV

Groaning, I sit up in bed. My head is starting to pound. Getting out of bed, worming my way around the pairs of heels and accessories left on the floor, I walk into the bathroom, gasping when I see myself in the mirror. My mascara is running, my eyeshadow is smudged, and there is glitter all over my face. Sighing, I get undressed and hop in the shower, letting everything wash away with all the soapy water. Once I’m out, I hear Katie’s voice from the other side of the door, and she frantically knocks. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Are you in there?!” She asks. I open the door and see her shocked face on the other side. 

“What? Do you need to puke?” I ask, standing aside.

“NO! LOOK!” She thrusts her phone at me. I take it and look down at it. It’s displaying her texts to Nick. 

“You sent him the video of me singing karaoke?!” I exclaim. Katie frowns. 

“You told me to? And no! I don’t mean that!!” She snatches her phone back and scrolls down. “Look what Nick sent!” She orders. Taking the phone back, I read the message.

“You’re right. She does look gorgeous.” I immediately block out the rest of the message. Those words replay in my mind. Nick....thinks I look gorgeous? Katie is staring at me, clearly waiting on my response...but I can’t think of anything to say. My mind and my heart feel like they’re racing at 100 miles per hour. I mean, it’s not like he outright admitted he was in love with me or anything...but in a way...he kind of did? Holy shit. I don’t even know how I feel about him. I mean, we have almost kissed already, but that doesn’t mean anything, does it? Who am I kidding, of course it means something. It means that I must like him too, or I wouldn’t have almost kissed him. My mind immediately flashes back to the times people thought Nick and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, or telling us we would make a cute couple, how I didn’t want to leave Nick for this weekend...and realisation dawns on me. The reason why I liked being told that, and why I enjoyed being with Nick...is because I wanted it. Do I...like Nick? As in...like, like? ...I think I might?

“Y/N...are you okay?” Katie asks. “You’re kinda spaced out.”

“Yeah, I’m wonderful.” I lie. I feel like my world has been turned upside down, or like the rug has been pulled out from under me, and I might collapse at any moment. Katie raises an eyebrow.

“Y/N...you promised me that if something’s going on, you’d tell me what it was. I can tell something’s up, and I want to know what. Please? You’re my sister. I want to know if something’s bothering you.” She reminds me, and I sigh.

“Fine. We’ll go for some coffee before brunch, and I’ll tell you. Now, will you PLEASE let me get dressed in peace?!”

~~~

Later

I take a sip of my coffee, letting it soothe me and my slowly developing hangover. Katie sits across from me, looking expectantly as she waits on me admitting what’s been going on with me...that I think I have a crush on Nick. Sighing, I meet her gaze...and start telling her everything. How close we’ve grown, how everyone we’ve met thinks we’d be cute together, our almost kiss, how excited I was to see him again, and...how I think I’m falling for him. When I’ve stopped, Katie stares at me silently for what feels like an eternity. I knew she’d need some time to process this...but not this long. “Uh...Katie?” I start, and she immediately cuts me off.

“I KNEW IT!” She gasps, letting out a squeal that makes some of the people in the coffee shop stare. I flush pink, but she doesn’t even notice. “God Y/N, I thought it was going to be something worse than this.” She admits. She sees my pink face and continues. “Y/N. A few days ago, I told you that I’ve seen how happy he makes you, and how it’s like when Adam and I first met. It’s SO OBVIOUS that you like him. Actually...” She giggles, stopping only to take a drink of her coffee. “I didn’t tell you, but last night you were talking about him all the time. Like for the whole night. I think the rest of the girls were too drunk to notice, but I wasn’t. Every five minutes, it was ‘do you think Nick would like this?’ ‘Nick said this...’ ‘Nick said that...’ ‘He’s so cute!’ ‘I want Nick to know how cute I look tonight!’ And now, he does! All thanks to me.” She grins triumphantly. “But seriously Y/N. It’s so obvious. To be honest, I knew that you probably liked him from that first meal in the diner, when you kicked me in the shin.”

“Sorry about that by the way.”

“No, no, don’t be silly! It’s fine. You did that every time I almost spilled your crushes to Grandma. I know you too well. BUT, I did NOT know about this almost kiss though!!!” She squeals again, thankfully quieter this time. “My sister’s getting with the best man!” I quickly shush her.

“No! Nick cannot know. At least, not yet.” She frowns at me. “For one, I have no idea if he even likes me in that way, and second, I am not doing anything to jeopardise your wedding.” Katie scoffs.

“Who cares about my wedding?! My big sister’s finally found the one!” 

“Okay, that’s a bit much, I don’t even know if-”

“Oh, please. I have a feeling that he likes you too, and that you two will be happy for many years to come.” She taps the side of her head as if she’s made a breakthrough, before going back to her coffee. “So...when are you gonna tell him?”

“Katie, did you not hear what I just said? I’m not going to. At least not yet. I do want to know if he likes me back, but I don’t want to take away from your wedding.” She reaches over and takes my hand. 

“Y/N. As your little sister and the bride, you have my blessing to declare your feelings to Nick before my wedding. Seriously. It’s okay. I just want you to be happy.” I smile.

“Thanks sis.” I sigh. She gets down off her seat and hugs me.

“I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you too.”

“...Oh by the way, when I said ‘who cares about my wedding?’ Yeah, well I still care about it. Even though you have my blessing, please don’t let anything go wrong.” I chuckle.

“I won’t. I promise.”

~~~

The Next Day: Sunday - 5 Days til the Wedding

Nick’s POV

Adam’s practically bouncing on his heels as the two of us wait on Katie and Y/N coming back from the bachelorette party. It was cute, though. I had seen his relationship with Katie grow over the years, and was honoured they asked me to be part of their special day. It was so clear how much they loved each other. 

“Dude, calm down.” I smile. “They’ll be here soon.”

“Sorry.” He blushes. “I’ve just been missing Katie, and it’s so close to the wedding now, I’m just...I’m excited to be her husband! I’ll try and calm down.” I smile.

“It’s okay. I just don’t want Katie to come home and find out her fiancé got so excited I had to scrape his body off of the ceiling.” Adam and I laugh.

“So...how about you and Y/N, huh? You excited to see her again?” I nod. Of course I was. “And then you two can finally have that talk.” I frown, looking at him. Did he...did he know? “Oh please, Nick. I’ve seen the way you talk about her. You don’t make it very subtle. You like her, don’t you?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Not as a friend, as in...that way.” 

“How did you know?” I ask, not even trying to deny it. He chuckles. 

“It’s pretty obvious dude. Both Katie and I have noticed.” Before I can even say anything, he holds his hands up, stopping me. “Don’t worry. Katie and I don’t mind if you and Y/N get together. We just want you both to be happy.” I stand there in silence for a while, not knowing what to say. I mean, he was right, of course...and he gave me his blessing to be with Y/N if it came to that, so what was the issue? Well, of course, she might not like me back...but it was worth a try. “Are you going to talk to her?” Adam asks, looking at me expectantly. 

“...I guess?” I say before even thinking about it. Adam grins and pulls me into a hug. 

“Good luck.” He smiles. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong? Oh right, everything. Soon after, we hear a car pulling up to the house, and we open the door to see the girls getting out and unloading their suitcases and bags. My stomach twists into knots. Katie and Adam spot each other and immediately run into each other’s arms. Walking past them, Y/N walks into the house, standing in the doorway. 

“Hey, Nick.” She smiles softly. The sun behind her illuminates her hair, backlighting her in a golden glow. God, she’s gorgeous. 

“Uh...Hi!” I gasp, quickly realising I hadn’t replied to her. The two of us stand awkwardly silent for a few moments.

“WELL uh, I think I’m going to take these upstairs.” Y/N suddenly announces, making her way towards the stairs. 

“Need a hand?” 

“No! I mean uh...no, I’ll be fine. Thanks Nick.” She walks upstairs, leaving me frowning in the hallway. Why is she being so weird? You don’t think she...oh no. Does she know? Does she know that I think I like her? Does she not feel the same? Oh god, she doesn’t. That’s why she’s so awkward around me. Well, more so than usual. Katie walks into the house and gives me a hug. She winks at me as she also heads upstairs, confusing me even more. What is going on with those two? Sighing, I decide to make us all some tea. As I sit in the living room, drinking my cup, Y/N comes and sits beside me on the couch. “Oh! Thanks, Nick.” She smiles, taking a cup of tea. “So...did you have a nice weekend without us?” She asks. No. I missed you too much. I want to say, but instead, I say:

“Yeah! It was good. We just played some video games.” I immediately curse myself for saying I had a good weekend without her. Now she’ll think I hate her. However, Y/N smiles at that.

“That’s good. Katie told me you saw my karaoke video. Did you like it?” 

“Yeah, I did. You know, you told me you couldn’t sing, but you’re good.” She laughs.

“I don’t think so, but thanks Nick.” She smiles. She glances up as Katie and Adam walk into the room. “I need to talk to you later.” She whispers, before greeting them both. My stomach starts twisting again. Oh god, she’s going to tell me that she doesn’t feel the same, isn’t she? Dammit. Why do I always fall too hard for a girl then end up disappointed? Katie and Adam continue talking to us both, too caught up in the excitement of seeing each other again even to notice how silent Y/N and I are. The atmosphere is shattered by the sound of a car pulling up outside. The four of us look at each other, clearly confused. Nobody else is meant to be staying here now, just us four...so who’s that?

“Did one of your groomsmen forget something?” Y/N asks. Adam and I shake our heads. “And it’s not one of us, because they’re staying in the local hotel, right, Katie?” Katie huffs. 

“It better not be one of them, because I TOLD THEM this house didn’t have enough room for anyone other than us.” A knock sounds at the door. Huffing again, Katie gets up. “Let me handle this.” She sighs. “If it’s our flower vendors, I swear to god, I told them to deliver stuff to the VENUE, NOT HERE.” We hear her voice disappearing down the hallway, and the three of us go back to our tea, expecting Katie to reappear moments later with a quick explanation. Sure enough, we soon hear: “What are YOU doing here?!” Y/N places her cup down and gets up.

“I’ll help her deal with this. Don’t want any issues, like last time.” She gives me a knowing look, and I chuckle lightly. Adam and I go back to scrolling through our phones and drinking tea, until the sound of “Oh, my GOD!” cuts through the air. Frowning, Adam and I look at each other. That was Y/N’s voice. The two of us get up and walk towards the front door. A man stands in the doorway, looking at Y/N and Katie. He hasn’t noticed us yet. Y/N is holding Katie’s hand, clearly squeezing it for dear life, but neither of them says anything. Either to us, the man or each other. Their faces are pale. The man looks over at Adam and I. 

“Ah! Hello there! Now, which of you is the groom?” He asks. 

“Um, I am?” Adam frowns. The man smiles.

“I see! Wonderful to meet you!”

“I’m sorry, sir, but who are you? Can we help you?” I ask. The man chuckles.

“Of course! Where are my manners?!” He asks. “I’m Robert Miller.” He gestures over at the girls, still ghostly pale. “And these two lovely ladies...are my daughters.”

[katsidhe]

coffeecustard

replied to your post

“Love your blog!! Your meta is *chefs kiss* So! I made an observation...”

I'm very curious what that makes me, because I was never shocked at Sam's decision, never felt he was disgusting, in fact I found and still find the s4 demon thing to make 100% sense in light of the info he had. I love your meta and I'm hoping one day you'll write what you think makes ppl like me feel this way -- accept Sam's actions and motives 100% no questions, because they make absolute sense to us.

You know, I think there is something interesting here. In some ways I’m in the same boat as you. The first time I watched s4 I was on Sam’s side, but while I never felt that he was disgusting or unjustified, I definitely understood why Sam felt he was doing something transgressive/something that potentially crossed a bright moral line. And that struggle, and the fear of intrinsic evil, was real for Sam (even without Dean/the culture surrounding him driving it home), and frankly added to my respect for him. 

So, textually I think it’s inarguable that the Show itself regards Sam drinking demon blood as morally questionable at the very least. Even setting aside Dean’s moralizing, the literal in-universe author of their books tells Sam it’s not right. Can’t get much more explicit than that.

But Sam’s guilt is a lot muddier compared to whatever Dean struggles with in s9, because it’s not just ~bad bc the show said so~. Sam’s lifelong feelings of innate uncleanliness, interwoven with the degree of suspicion with which Dean tends to treat him as a matter of course (which stems from John’s suspicions, the Family Cult, Dean’s absolutism, etc etc.), combined with the Show’s bias, make the separate factors really, really difficult to parse. All three have narrative effects that influence how the audience is likely to perceive Sam’s decisions. 

Like I touched on in my previous post, one first obvious reaction is to take a stance that most closely resembles Dean’s (and arguably the Show’s): something to the effect of, Sam means well, and some version of him is Good deep down, but he’s misguided; surely he can see that this stuff is Bad News and is all going to end in tears; really, he should go back to Normal. 

But sometimes, like in your case and mine, that isn’t the first reaction. Part of it for me at least is that pragmatism is a really attractive trait in my fictional characters, and I deeply respected that Sam was willing to set aside his own deep self-disgust because he could acknowledge that making use of the blood and his powers got undeniable results. But I also wonder if it might be the naysayer in me who wanted to be on Sam’s side in the first place, that wanted to revolt against what the clear narrative authority was trying to tell me. If it’s an instinctive reaction to be on the side of the party being assigned blame and called out for wrongness, the one being called abnormal and freakish in the face of persecution. 

The blood is a continuous action on Sam’s part, and an addiction with side-effects that are debatably causing harm to him. Sam has to make the active decision over and over to keep using it, and it’s one he visibly struggles with while the necessity wars with his shame, and while we as viewers fear for his safety in the face of both his friends and his enemies. All the while, Sam is painted as overtly deviant, in ways that tie in with his sexuality and with addiction, with his mental health, with him being, somehow, innately tainted. This, I think, can easily be fundamentally sympathetic. 

The Mark, in contrast, was one ill-informed decision, with inarguably harmful fallout for both Sam and Dean. Interestingly enough, Dean’s grappling with the Mark of Cain is basically never addressed as a choice? He finds out about the thing, accepts it without asking about terms and conditions, and is branded all in one episode; following this, his struggle is all about him internally trying to repress, control, or channel the urges the Mark gives or intensifies; never (to my recollection, anyway; feel free to correct me if I’m forgetting something in some s10 episode I’ve never rewatched) is he significantly wracked with regret over taking the Mark in the first place. I think this is typical of Dean. He felt he did what he had to do, so he’s not going to agonize over a decision that was made that he cannot take back. Sam doesn’t react the way Dean did in season 4, either--Gadreel aside, he’s on Dean’s side, quick to reassure Dean (and himself) in s10 that the Mark’s influence isn’t Dean’s fault. 

This definitely contributes to how we the audience view that decision, and since Dean is tormented but not terribly guilty, and Sam is supportive even while a victim, it’s easy to assign pity rather than blame. But for me, as a viewer, it’s a lot less interesting to watch Dean grapple when there’s little acknowledgment of how he made his bed in the first place, and, indeed, when there’s NO ONE in the narrative, not Sam, and not even Dean himself, who is in major conflict with that decision. 

In s4, Sam is resolutely the moral outsider. I think for some people it can have the effect of making his point of view MORE attractive rather than less, because it is transgressive on a level intrinsic to the fabric of the show itself. And that’s plain fun.