#bc i hate admitting when im scared

[waterdeepp]

for the first time i can say i had a traumatic day at work, but i survived!! thank you to amazing staff and nurses with legit hearts of gold. having a man scream and hit walls is the most terrifying experience for women - period. and having said man stare you down like you are meat is even scarier. i never knew how easily triggered i was by these things until i experienced it myself. I was afraid. And realizing I was afraid days later is confusing. I've been thinking about this non stop and reliving each moment, each word he said, each punch thrown at the wall, each curse screamed at me. I don't take it personally, it's not that. It's violence. It's the realization I had met a highly dangerous person who could hurt me and others - someone who has hurt others in horrible ways. And knowing this, it is all the more scary to see the attacks the walls suffered. It's visceral.

I am very aware these types of things happen in healthcare and you need to be prepared. And I was - and always am. I have been verbally abused and hit by patients but this was just genuinely so so so different. The thought makes my heart leap in my throat. I have never been so fucking afraid of someone in my life - and it is my task to watch and monitor this person. Having to bite back tears when the nurses asked me if I was okay and holding up. I was and am not okay. At all.

Physical distance was the only saving grace. Standing by security, practically hiding behind them, standing close to them, mentally begging them to stay with me. if i could shrink myself and hide by their fucking feet i would have.

I feel like Im being dramatic but words can hardly express what I felt. I think it's rare people feel genuine fear but that is exactly what I felt. True, raw FEAR. I can't describe it any other way. I was so afraid.

I'm sure I'll see him again and I dread it.

[toytulini]

would be cool this yr to do like first aid training maybe?

[jrueships]

yes. often. i think diggs Every day of My Life (/neg) (/unfortunate) (/nonpos)

i-

[maximus-gluteus]

nothing to see here

[redr0sewrites]

So bc u requested Adam and/or Lute stuff I'd like to request Adam x male!reader? Like literally anything that comes to your mind, idc if it's sfw or nsfw I just crave it °^° (also if you're not comfy with writing male reader that's totally cool too, in that case just ignore this)

I HAVW NO QUALMS AB WRITING MALE READER NONNIE DW!!!! ♥️

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, male!reader, overall adam's usual shenanigans

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

you can NOT look me in the eyes and tell me adam does not have some form of internalized homophobia, and the minute he starts catching feelings for you i genuinely think he'd have a mini crisis

because of his major fuckboy personality he has a LOT of experience with flirting with women, but literally no experience with flirting with men

adam is still pretty confident however, and would probably approach you first.

i think he'd have to be friends with you to catch feelings for you in the first place, so he's probably around you pretty often

adam is very subconsciously flirty with you, but in a much more genuine way without his usual bravado. he doesn't even realize how soft he acts around you, but others can tell by the way his eyes always follow you and how he seems to orbit around you, or the way he'll purposefully stand as close as possible when he's talking to you. theres also the fact that he's literally always touching you, whether it be an arm around your shoulders or a hand resting on your back, he just needs to be close to you. you attract him like a moth to a flame, even when he's in a crowded room all adam is focused on is getting your attention. even his casual hookups stop as he literally focuses all his time on winning you over, even he doesn't realize how much he likes you (everyone else can tell. theres a betting pool in heaven on when you both will get together and who will confess first, etc)

adam definitely acts like a BUFFOON around you, deep down he doesn't think someone like you would want to be with him and overcompensates by bragging constantly about all the woman he's liked in a slightly pathetic attempt to flirt with you and literally CONSTANTLY trying to get your attention. think of his usual flaunting attitude and then turn up the dial by 100%. he wants to be on your mind 24/7 the same way your on his mind all the time

meanwhile ur lowkey heartbroken, bc you think adam is straight and yet you can't get rid of your stupid ass crush on his stupid face!!!! it's honestly especially irritating because he'll flirt with you and call you so many petnames and nicknames and will always be touching you, so you think you have a chance, then all of a sudden he's talking about some girl he banged and you just feel a bit led on

its very amusing for lute to watch the both of you dance around eachother and your feelings, when you both so clearly like eachother but are too scared to do anything about it

honestly i think you'd both end up confessing to eachother in the middle of an argument, maybe your pissed at adam for bragging about the "super hot girl he banged last night" (she isn't real and he spent the entire night thinking about you) and he's pissed off that your getting mad at him instead of being impressed or falling in love with him

definitely one of those dramatic "because i LOVE you, okay?!" confessions i am cringe but i am free and adam just kinda stares at you for a hot minute

adam would literally be like "wait... YOU like ME???? i thought you HATED me????? IM the one who likes YOU!" in usual adam fashion, and you would literally be like -_-"YOU LIKED ME THIS WHOLE TIME??? WHY DIDNT U SAY ANYTHING????" his dumbass would literally be like "I WAS TRYING TO??????" and all of this useless dialogue would literally just end in the two of you admitting your true feelings (much to lute's amusement who was recording the entire thing bc she NEEDS to win that bet)

once you both are officially together? prepare for adam to be the clingiest mf alive (in a cute way tho). he waited so long to be with you and literally became solely devoted to you for a WHILE before winning you over and it's probably been a hot minute since he's genuinely dated someone. sure, he's had hookups, but real, soulful relationships aren't common with him.

adam is ridiculously loyal to you, definitely one of those people who will be like "i have a bf 🙄" when someone random texts them, even if that person wasn't even interested in them romantically

LOVESSS flaunting you!! adam will bring you to every event he attends, he loves bragging about you and showing you off to all of heaven

if anyone ever gave you any shit about your relationship adam would literally drop kick them, he's very defensive about your guys' relationship and wants everyone to know that he loves you.

adam doesn't know shit about labels or sexuality so you probably have to teach him some things, i honestly think he'd be pansexual or just queer/unlabeled (i am totallyyy nooot projecting)

nsfw:

adam has been alive a long time and thought he tried everything sex related under the sun, but being with a guy opened a whole new world of possibilities

adam had explored with anal a bit before, but never with a partner. only in the late hours of the night when jerking off just wasn't enough, and he found himself with a strange temptation, his hands creeping lower and lower until he finally began to thrust his fingers in and out of his aching hole, tears welling in his eyes from a mix of humiliation and pure pleasure. yet, when he admitted to having tried fingering himself before, he also admitted something else- he had never managed to make himself cum, and had always gotten too embarrassed to push himself over the edge

he is a switch FIGHT ME. the first time your both intimate, adam absolutely talks so much shit about topping yet starts whining the second he begins fucking your tight cavern. this leads to you taking control and fucking him senseless, and adam is shocked at how much he enjoys it

he takes dick like a champ, he's a bratty sub at first but once you praise or degrade him, he's melting like putty in your hands

adam is sooo loud, he's a shameless moaner and everyone within a mile radius can hear his screams

you have to teach him how to give head, and he is surprisingly a very fast learner. adam lowkey gets off on how humbling it is to be below you, and he's also the type to get off on his partner's pleasure.

adam definitely has some sort of breeding kink, and when he's fucked dumb and so, so needy, he'll beg you to cum inside, whining about fucking a baby into him and babbling pure nonsense

even though it is quite literally impossible for either of you to get pregnant, he loves that kind of dirty talk. adam will pretend to be embarrassed about it but the thought of you breeding him or him breeding you is genuinely such a turn on for him

yall literally never use a condom im sorry 💀

adam would enjoy topping as well, i def think he enjoys fucking you and he loves fucking you senseless with pleasure

the first time he tops adam goes slow, he wants to learn more than anything and becomes incredibly skilled at reaching that sweet spot inside of you

adam is the first man, the original dick, and he definitely knows how to use it. he's such a fast learner when it comes to sex-related things, and memorizes everything about you and your body. he wants to know what makes you tick, and everything that pleases you or turns you on

adam is a pretty big guy and he can easily maneuver you into any position you want, he really likes hitting it from the back and loves fucking you from behind. he'd definitely pull your hair, forcing your head back so he could whisper absolute filth in your ear

i really really enjoyed writing this urgrhrgregregeh i love me some adam- im an afab person but im genderqueer/unlabeled and sometimes feel more masculine or more feminine, snd this was very fun to write bc i usually don't get requests for male reader or more masculine reader so yea i really really enjoyed this!!! also happy easter to anyone else who celebrates lmao i can't believe yall r getting smut from me on easter 💀

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 9 - ( c.s )

part eight

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- angst, swearing, i think that’s it

a/n: i’m back my little goblins let’s get it!!!! part ten of this series will be the final part, and then i plan on writing an ‘epilogue’ type chapter to wrap it all up. i’m hoping to have them up as quickly as possible, but ive been absolutely slammed so im sorry if it takes me a minute. i love u always and i’ve missed being on here so i hope you enjoy <3

(if you asked to be tagged in the last part and weren’t tagged it’s bcs it wouldn’t let me!! i’m so sorry i tried my hardest)

to be let down, you have to expect something from someone. it’s a mistake you’ve made far too frequently in your years on earth, especially in college, but this time around the grief is debilitating.

you spend the rest of your weekend locked inside your room, attempting to sleep away the heartbreak. somehow dreaming almost makes it worse; for a second you’re able to forget about being completely humiliated, until you wake up in reality once more.

it doesn’t help that chris has been absolutely blowing up your phone since the moment you left. every call and text goes unanswered. it’s impossible to read them, so most of the time you don’t.

hell, you can’t even open your curtains because you’re too scared that he’ll be looking back at you when you do. so you block out the sunlight, ensuring that your room matches your dreary feelings.

you figure he’ll give up on trying to talk to you eventually. you’re not different. he’s not different. and once chris regains that pride of his, he’ll go right back to fucking some other girl he won’t care about half as much.

thoughts like those make you cry even harder, as much as you hate it. but you know the disinterest will wash over him sooner or later, and you resent that inevitable day.

cassidy and ramona check on you pretty much every other hour. it makes you feel even worse that they’re so concerned, but neither of them have ever seen you like this. at least not since freshman year, when you dated an upperclassman for a couple months just for him to dump you over text.

even that heartache was relatively short-lived. but this pain follows you into the week, trailing behind you like a shadow you can’t get rid of. it sits beside you in class, curls up next to you in bed, weighs your shoulders down whenever you walk.

it feels like you’re struggling to stay afloat, to even act like a real human anymore. chris consumes your brain, and so do the ‘what if’s’ of your situation. it makes the week drag on, even though you try to spend most of it asleep.

to make matters worse, his multiple notifications continue with a routine consistency, almost like clockwork. you figured he’d already be over it, but he clearly doesn’t want to make himself easy to forget.

you have to admit that you’re glad his persistence lasted at least this long, even if it’s for selfish reasons. you’re disgusted that the attention satisfies you, but it’s not an unwelcome change considering all you’ve been feeling lately is queasy.

still, you don’t read them, or pick up when he calls. you can’t hear his voice, because you know it’ll absolutely break you.

and then finally, on friday, you see him in the flesh. you’re walking home from your bus stop after the only lecture you managed to get to that day, and there he is, getting out of his car.

your throat seizes up; there’s no way to avoid this. it’s easy to ice someone out over text, but it’s a hell of a lot harder when he’s your neighbor.

before you can snap your head away he’s turning to look in your direction, eyes equally as wide as yours once the recognition washes over him. he looks like shit, and yet he’s still so goddamn beautiful it makes you physically sick.

for a brief moment, everything stops. you just stare at each other.

chris takes in you in, the way you look noticeably drained. he feels that familiar nauseous pang in his stomach flare up, knowing that he stole the spark from your eyes.

the worst part is that you’ll never look at him with that fire again. there’s nothing he can do to bring it back now, no way to reverse the past.

then—before he can decide what to do in the present—you break the spell, cutting through your other neighbor’s lawn to get to your front porch. everything in him wants to run after you, so much so that he has to physically restrain himself.

you hear him calling after you, and something about him shouting your name stirs the tears awake once more. but you make it through the door before they fall, because you can’t show any more vulnerability than you already have.

getting inside doesn’t mean that you make it up the stairs, though. the physical and emotional exhaustion catches up to you, and you collapse around halfway through your blurry climb to your room.

your elbows dig into your kneecaps, hands holding your head while you sob. it seems impossible to catch your breath, or calm down in the slightest, and your cries only grow louder.

normally you’d be careful about the noise, but there’s no one to hide from right now. nobody is home. it’s just you and your thoughts, which, as always, are full of him.

you may be able to push him out of your life, but you have a feeling he’ll be lingering in the corners of your mind forever.

the post-game locker room mood is completely miserable tonight. after that last minute loss and the thirty minute bitch-session they just endured from their coach, it honestly should be.

chris barely even has his skates off before his teammates are all over him, which he expected but still dreaded.

his head’s not in it, and everybody knows.

“what the fuck is wrong with you, man? it’s like you’re not even awake out there.” one of the team’s leading defensemen, luke, yanks him up by his jersey roughly.

for a second he pauses, setting his jaw and puffing his chest out slightly. the accusation, though it’s not completely untrue, pisses him off.

so much so that chris retaliates by shoving him back to his rightful place a foot away. “get the hell off of me, man.”

luke looks like he’s ready to jump into action again, but connor steps in between before anything else can happen. he’s also very visibly angry, a side that doesn’t come out often.

and just because he stopped a physical fight from breaking out doesn’t mean he’s going to stay silent. “he’s right. you’re playing like shit, and we‘re way too far into the season to be blowing it now, especially with selection show right around the corner.”

chris can feel his blood is boiling at this point, knowing that even his roommate is going to support this kind of disrespect towards his own captain. the rest of the team is watching silently, but he can’t find it anywhere in himself to care.

the words have already bubbled up, and he won’t hold them back anymore.

“oh come on, it’s not like anyone else was stepping up! dylan turned the puck over every other play, ben was offside during that odd man rush, and don’t even get me started on you and the high sticking penalty that just lost us that fucking game.” he shoves his pointer finger against connor’s chest for emphasis, trying to make sure his criticism stings as much as possible.

but his friend is quick to swat his hand away, shaking his head once sharply.

“no, you don’t get to turn it on everyone else. you lost it for us during that sorry excuse of a penalty kill. you let that little UMass shit go right by you, which is why he had a wide open shot to score the game winner. you’ve been making dumb mistakes like that for two weeks now, and we all know why.”

that implication is enough to send chris over the edge, because nobody has the right to mention what happened between you and him. knowing about the situation doesn’t mean they should get to speak on it.

he can feel his fingernails digging into his palms, both hands balled into tight fists at his side. the anger coursing through his body makes him shake ever so slightly, almost like he’s humming.

“keep going and i’ll bust your fucking face in.” chris says, voice eerily calm despite the fact that his body is screaming.

but connor doesn’t back down; he stands tall with an unwavering gaze that’s more serious than ever before. “you gotta grow a pair and start being our captain again. you fucked up, and losing someone you’re actually into because of that sucks. most of us have been there. but trying to throw everyone under the bus is bullshit when you’re the one that needs to get it together.”

nothing about his words are intentionally meant to hurt, and chris knows that, but for some reason they do. probably because he doesn’t want to hear the truth, or start coming to terms with the fact that he actually did lose you.

he really doesn’t ever want to accept it.

but his ego won’t let him say that. instead, chris shifts his gaze to observe the rest of the room, at all of his teammates, before focusing on connor once again.

“if you don’t think that i’m your captain anymore then find a new one.” he spits.

the room somehow gets even more quiet; everyone is stunned by the out-of-character reaction. for the most part, chris really is a good leader. they all voted for him to represent the team when it came time, and the group dynamic has been great since then.

but he doesn’t feel like that guy now. he’s not sure who he is anymore. so he throws the rest of his equipment into his bag and yanks it over his shoulder.

“really, chris?” it’s ben this time, who’s clearly dumbfounded by the theatrics.

he doesn’t respond, and he tries not to hesitate too much as he makes his way out of the locker room. everyone lets him pass, which makes it even harder to leave.

it feels so wrong, but his feet keep pushing him forward regardless.

when chris finally makes it home twenty minutes later, the frustration has only festered. he doesn’t like anything he’s doing, and yet it’s spiraling out of his control. by the time he gets to his room, tears of aggravation have made their way down his face.

he wipes them away harshly as he stares out his window at your room, which is still closed off by your curtains. it’s like his heart seizes up just from being this close to you, knowing that you’re in there yet he can’t reach you.

and maybe that’s the problem. chris loves hockey, but at the end of the day he clearly loves you more. and with things the way that they are, his heart is fully wrapped up in you, not the game.

it’s terrifying, and it’s painful. he never thought that there’d be anyone to test his bachelor lifestyle until you came around, and he can’t just go back to normal because he doesn’t know how.

he’s been permanently changed, and it feels like a huge part of his new life is suddenly missing.

you saw the deepest parts of him, parts that he didn’t even know existed, and he saw the same side of you. you challenged him in ways he’d never experienced, and he loved that he always felt like he was evolving when you were together.

now he just feels stagnant, unsure of himself.

the only thing he’s sure of is that he needs you, whether that makes him inconsiderate or not. he can’t keep sleepwalking through life, but he’s not sure what else there is to do.

simply put, he misses you like hell. so he lays back in bed and closes his eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have you right beside him.

@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @impureals @chrisactualwife @fikefries @riasturns @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @gnxosblog @braindead4l @orangeypepsi @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @neatcarrot767 @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @alorsxsturn @sturnrc @chrissystur @kellsbells-18 @realqueenofpepsi @snowysosturn @secretfangirly @scarlettbitches @satvisfavetoodles

[kiwiikato]

Ken sato brainrot is real and im here for that, i saw that request are open, and i want to make one if thats okay? Bassically hcs o of kenji with a high school friend reader that is a very shy/meek person, they where inseparable as kids and kenji was always very protective of reader, even in their high school years when reader started dating a very cuestionable guy that ended up being a cheater with her toxic ex best friend(that send her a lot of hatefull texts and calls with threats and slut shaming comments bc she wanted to date her boyfriend), due this reader moved on to japan when she and kenji where teenagers and they keep contact by texts and zoom calls.

When kenji comes to japan is determinate to make reader officially his girl, it can include headcanons of them as a couple!

If this is to much you are free to not do this request! I dont wanna bother you

masterlist

this is my first time doing a headcannon ever so i hope you like this! <3 it was honestly really fun writing! thank you for waiting! sorry if it’s not what you expect but i hope you still enjoy >:3

kenji sato headcannons!

kenji who was excited to find out that you lived in japan when he moved back

kenji who couldn’t help but want to protect you the same way he did before you left the states

kenji who watches you keep to yourself, scared of attachments

kenji who feels bad for you, knowing the hate you experienced for trusting someone

kenji who invites you to watch movies with him just to be closer with you

kenji who goes along with you wanting to go to the park to be more childlike

kenji who ends up growing a plush collection cause of your gifts

kenji who finally admits to himself that he wants to love you after seeing the way you smile at him

kenji who ends up daydreaming about all the cute stuff you’d do together if you were his

kenji who is absolutely surprised when you silently confess to him while sitting in silence

kenji who ends up panicking internally since he wanted to confess to you

kenji who gives you a peck and runs out of the house

kenji whose gone for about fifteen minutes, only to burst through the door with your favorite flowers, balloons, and a plushie of your favorite animal

kenji who panics seeing you slightly sad since you thought he ran away from you, not for you

kenji who quickly pulls you into his arms and comforts you while rubbing your back

kenji who confesses his feelings, telling you every moment he found himself admiring you since you were children

kenji couple headcannons!

kenji who hums you to sleep every night while your head lays on his chest

kenji who gets you a bouquet of flowers every two weeks, or till the recent one he got you starts to wilt

kenji who absolutely spoils you with compliments

kenji who gives the best reassurance while holding you, making sure to ease every insecure thought

kenji who kisses your whole body while saying why he loves each part

kenji who loves the way you cook food, always asking for more

kenji who introduces you to his dad, absolutely proud of being with you

kenji who calls you pet names like sweet thing, pretty girl, or baby

kenji who comforts you that he’s not going nowhere and that you’re safe and will never be hurt again

kenji who one day, with your permission, pulls you into a kiss on tv only to flip off the camera and say “fuck you _____” to your ex bf and best friend for the way they hurt you

kenji who loves posting you on his private instagram, usually taking about two hours just to perfect each post

kenji who loves taking photos of you sleeping since you look so peaceful

kenji who loves assaulting your face and lips with kisses and nibbles

kenji who loves taking showers with you and says “it’s to save water” even though his hands never let go of you, making you both waste more water

kenji who begged you to move in with him for a while hour cause he swears he “can’t live without you”

kenji who can’t wait to marry and have a family with you

kenji who loves you for you, no matter what

[strwbrryeyes]

𖦹°｡⋆ suna as a best friend

⟡ cw: fluff, mentions of alcohol, denial of feelings, college aged (20s), friends to lovers, anything else i missed bc im still bad at content warnings

⟡ a/n: im bad at writing i apologize im trying to get better i swear. also this was longer than i expected but i was too lazy to edit. anyway sorry this is bad oops.

⟡ best friend series: atsumu, osamu, kita, aran, || masterlist

best friend suna who you've been friends with since your first year of high school at inarizaki when you met him during volleyball practice (you were the team manager)

best friend suna who follows you to college because he doesn't trust you to make smart decisions without him.

best friend suna who will not take his eyes off of you the entire night at a party while you drink.

best friend suna who will take you back to his place after the party because he knows you hate waking up alone when hungover.

best friend suna who has a drawer of your clothes at his dorm room because you often leave your belongings there (he also has a drawer of his things in your dorm).

best friend suna who gets teased by the miya twins because they think he has a crush on you.

best friend suna who denies it but secretly does have a crush on you but is too scared to admit it because he doesn't want to ruin the bond between you two.

best friend suna who agrees to move in with you after college.

best friend suna who knocks on your door in the middle of the night just to annoy you.

best friend suna who hugs you after volleyball practice because you hate when he sweats and touches you.

best friend suna who can suprisingly cook good (he actually took cooking lessons from osamu)

best friend suna who realizes that he has to admit his feelings sooner or later because living with you is making it harder for him.

best friend suna who confesses to you randomly while watching kiki's delivery service with you.

best friend suna who cant believe his ears when you admit you have a crush on him too.

best friend suna who immediately kisses you.

best friend suna who is now boyfriend suna who of course takes a bunch of pictures to post on his instagram story to commemorate the moment.

[redrum-alice]

ABA x Paracelsus HCs that live in my mind rent-free, even though I haven't played the game--

Some of these HCs include other characters involved in their arcade mode.

ABA is no stranger to stalking people. So when she came across a lookout point, she saw many couples, mostly teenagers, making out and going on romantic dates. She wonders what it would feel like to be young and in love, rather than just declaring someone whom she met first glance as a "husband"

ABA's collection of keys were hidden somewhere in the pocket dimension. She sometimes uses them as accessories to adorn herself, despite the like of knowledge in fashion (the girl wears pants as a top--)

There are many shades of blue that ABA can pick from. Since Paracelsus turned himself blue, the shiny surface reflected more colors than just blue, inspiring her to try and appreciate other colors near the blue gradient.

Added to the color stuff, she eventually tries variation of outfits with other colors, but with blue as the base.

Paracelsus knows when she's feeling fatigued. When she's at her limit, he opens the pocket dimension and lets her rest there until she wakes up. ABA sees this as his love language, but unintentional on his part

Both ABA and Paracelsus have no clue on how homonculi biology works, and Paracelsus hates to admit he feels bad that ABA may be at risk of getting herself hurt without him knowing what to do

Paracelsus wishes he knows more about human anatomy because its the closest one to ABA's physiology.

Since ABA is clairvoyant, she often hears the spirits of their victims which she tries to ignore, and probably because she doesnt know the correct response to a wailing dead person wanting justice. When its too much, she asks Paracelsus if what theyre doing was justified and that she begins to regret her rage filled jealousy directed at those that dont even bother them.

Paracelsus keeps telling ABA that she needn't to worry because it was a necessity for the both of them-- something he deeply regrets to say because he knows she has strong principles that she live by despite not being a human

Paracelsus, deep down, is ashamed of himself for tainting ABA for the purpose of tending to his bloodlust. He saw how genuine and pure hearted she is, but it turned into malice because of his demonic origin. He begins to wonder what ABA would be like if she found someone else years ago.

Just like ABA, Paracelsus has an unspoken fear of abandonment, but since he lacks capacity to feel other emotions, he doesnt notice this.

Ever since Elphelt and Testament approached her with good intentions, ABA wanted to make more friends like them, but is scared that others have ill intentions toward her and Paracelsus.

ABA's favorite book would be Alice in Wonderland when she was still in Frasco, specifically the part where Alice was trapped in a room or multiple doors with the smallest door being the exit. ABA admires this because of the concept of escaping, especially that there's a key involved. (Im biased bc my name's Alice and i like this story--)

Besides door keys, she also collects windup key and smaller keys for chests and compartments. She sees this as a symbol for discovering new things, especially music when she came across a music box that needed a key

Speaking of music boxes, she associates this object with Elphelt bc of her musical talent (and that she may as well look like the ballerina spinning on the music box)

Other than doors, music boxes, and compartments, she also came across a small doll that needed a key. After she winds it up, it began walking and talking towards her and freaks her out. But when it said "mama" in a robotic voice, ABA contemplates and wonders if she was ready to become a parent somewhere in the near future when Paracelsus has a body. An impossible thought, but one could never be sure, and it scares her.

Butterfly Pea tea with brown sugar, or sparkling butterfly pea lemonade with honey would probably her favorite drink because of its color. She shares this with her hubby 🥰😋

There comes a time that her bandanges would get uncomfortable and smell bad from blood stains and wounds, so Paracelsus tells her she needs to change them before she gets an infection. He does stop her midway because he realizes she isnt wearing any undergarments and proceeds to take her in the pocket dimension.

Elphelt offers ABA to shop with her to pick clothes suited for her. The first thing she sees at the boutique display was a wedding dress and begins to day dream a wedding with Paracelsus. Without her looking, Elphelt happily buys the wedding dress with matching tuxedo and gives it to ABA, despite Paracelsus' protests (the fact that he hears them chatting about setting up the wedding next day had him ded on the spot :P)

ABA watches home video tapes left in houses unoccupied by their owners (abandoned or they went on vacation; ABA is a home intruder lol). She finds a tape labeled "Happy Day" and it plays a recording of a newly wed couple dancing at their reception. The way the couple moved gracefully tickled an idea in her brain and insisted she and Paracelsus should dance. But since the large key doesnt have any legs, her attempts in waltzing with him went nowhere 😅 (and this gave more reason for ABA to find a body for Paracelsus)

At late nights when ABA is asleep, Paracelsus wonders that if he had a body, would ABA still be shorter or they would be in the same height? Either way, he was impressed that she can keep herself up with that low weight despite her tall stature, more so on how she was able to carry him around without much muscle mass.

When he sleeps beside her, her hair unwittingly falls on his bow and feels how soft it is. A very pleasant feeling he won't admit.

Everyday, Paracelsus keeps reminding ABA that she needed to eat to gather strength. ABA often forgets to eat because its not hard wired in hr system, nor that it was even natural for her to eat in the first place.

[spadesolace]

drag me down: stockholm syndrome

synopsis: pham hanni isn't one to admit her feelings nor is she aware of her own feelings. but why does her heart aches watching you laugh with your friends or being physically affectionate with your friends?

words: 2.4k

previous | next

It didn’t take long for Y/N to realize that going out in the middle of the night only in her pajamas would get her sick. A cold didn’t kill anybody but she doesn’t want to risk getting others sick. Along with a fever that is quite high, it would be best to miss one day of school, despite hating it herself.

Hanni did not know that. After the short fight at Y/N’s place, she used her time to reflect and think things through. Why did she want to kiss her, what was in that atmosphere that in two consecutive nights led to her wanting some sort of affection from her rival? Seeing the empty chair next to her, no annoying Park Y/N next to her to annoy her. Shouldn’t it be bliss to have a bit of peace and quiet for once?

“She’s not going to class if that’s what you’re waiting for.” Chaewon showed her text with Y/N to Hanni, her personality being different in SNS. Who would have thought that seeing that had spark some flames in Hanni’s heart.

chaechae: why aren’t you in class?

ynn: im sick, body temp is 38 C with a bit of sniffles

chaechae: hehe sniffles, anyw gws!!! i’ll tell the girls

ynn: ily and thank u, chae

How is it that simple text makes Hanni’s blood boil to the point of possibly wanting to cause harm? This can’t be jealousy. It can’t be.

Within the entire day, where Y/N would sit, some people dared to sit next to Hanni. Most of which tried to copy her work, some were to converse with her, and then there was Jungwon who tried his best to keep the girl company. Neither of those made Hanni smile, laugh, it made her even more annoyed with everyone and everything. Jungwon still stayed after Hanni had told him off politely that he shouldn’t be transferring seats. Only to be rebutted.

“There’s no more seating arrangements, Hanni. Y/N isn’t here to take her seat so its free.” Hanni doesn’t have the energy to fight the guy when Chaewon was literally on a quick video call with Y/N.

“YAH! You told me to call you when it was time for you to take your meds.” She could only faintly see the sickly figure of Y/N who was laying on her bed with her laptop next to her. Would it be bad wanting to steal the phone for her to talk to Y/N?

Chaewon had turned around and placed her phone in front of Hanni, a smile on her face as she removed her earphones. The sickly figure on the screen looked at her with a small smile, her teasing smile that seemed so weak yet full of passion.

“I hope you’re not missing me much, Pham.” She may have looked annoyed but there was a hint of blush on her cheek.

“As if, Park.”

“Mhmm… Jungwon, get out of my seat.” Even if the voice was nasally, Hanni could easily distinguish Y/N’s voice whether it was joking or pissed. Jungwon would still be scared of Y/N either way, hurriedly saying goodbye and moving back to his place.

“Han.”

“Y/N.”

“Give the phone back to Chae.” Even if that was the end of that conversation, Hanni had a small smile on her face as Chaewon scolded Y/N. A bit of pain was still there but at least Hanni had managed to talk to you for a short while.

It didn’t slip past Minji to notice the change in demeanour of her best friend. One that rarely gets annoyed at people, to the point she would rather have her head chopped off if anyone would try to talk to her again. The small smile on her face was as clear as daylight, and watching the entire interaction just made Minji think about what had happened when the pair went out.

Hanni’s thoughts were interrupted by her phone, a message from Y/N. It was already rare to message each other that was not academics related, and upon seeing the message. Hanni’s thoughts had never been such a mess.

park y/n: why is he on my seat?

pham hanni: idk, he sat there bc you weren’t here

park y/n: ok.

Maybe it was the small interaction after half a day without Y/N annoying her or being in the same vicinity as her. Minji noticed the way Hanni had become calmer, no longer annoyed or had a hint of distaste. There’s something Park Y/N has that belongs to Hanni and it makes the gears in Minji’s head turn. Chaewon isn’t aware of anything happening behind her, let alone the burning gaze Hanni is sending her way.

“Oh shit.”

Hanni is oblivious to things, and Minji can easily work with it. A table filled with student council work with nothing but stress for the grad ball, Minji saw it as the perfect opportunity to simply ask questions. Between the two, Minji knows Hanni’s emotions better than anyone else; she’s the one that made Hanni realize her feelings for Jay was nothing but a crush, but with Jungwon - that was a mystery to Minji. She questioned why Hanni said yes to him courting her, or how she rarely spends time and effort with him.

Easing up to the conversation from grad ball preparations to asking Hanni who she’ll go with only to be answered that left Minji confused.

“Not Jungwon, that’s for sure.”

“What? He hasn’t asked you yet?” Hanni shook her head as she cleared the paperwork for the grad ball, finalising the sponsorship with Park Food Corporations.

“Y/N sorta asked me.” Confusion, concern, every other emotion as Minji processes every word that left Hanni’s mouth. How did Y/N even ask her out, or how Hanni agreed to it?

“So… during your date with Y/N?”

“Not a date.”

Minji could only look at Hanni with pure confusion. Being highly aware that both Hanni and Y/N were left alone the other day – according to Ms. Park Jihyo herself, they were even holding hands. Which makes Minji question if they’re dating behind everyone’s back or something else is going on.

Hanni’s mind has been a mess after the dinner at the Park estate. How their parents seem to like the pair together, even being asked to go to the graduation ball with Y/N. What is there to Y/N that makes her blood boil but at the same time miss her and get so irritated with everything else that does not relate to her. Even Jungwon can’t ease her mind, let alone she now sees him as some sort of hindrance to her abilities and goals in the future.

“Earth to Phampham? Helloooo?” Hanni shook her head, looking at the papers in front of her then to Minji who looked at her concerned. Park Food Corporations in her handwriting with the signature of their representative of the company below. All of her thoughts – from when she wakes up to laying in bed staring in the ceiling – all she could think of is Park Y/N.

“You good? You’ve been out of it for a while.” Minji checks her temperature, nothing out of the ordinary, just Hanni spacing out more than usual.

“I’m good, just tired.”

“Whatever you say, phampham. Just know that I’m here if you wanna talk.”

Hanni nodded, watching Minji pack up and leave her alone in the room. Alone with her thoughts. Alone with the scene of Y/N kissing her on repeat. Alone with the thought of Park Y/N.

Hanni slowly became more irritated with the people around her, especially after Y/N had come back and asked Minji if she could sit next to Chaewon. It wasn’t that bad at first, maybe the two had a lot to catch up on while she was gone but she could have asked Hanni regarding assignments and extracurriculars missed and not her friend. Minji taking notice of how Hanni easily snaps and loses focus as she watches Y/N across from her wearing a mask and slowly showing more signs of energy compared to the day she had come back. It was evident that Hanni was being avoided as if she carried the plague once Y/N had come back.

“That’s the third pencil you broke this week – are you sure you’re fine?” Hanni was not ok, whatever she’s feeling or whatever her thoughts of planning a murder and getting away with it. She is definitely not ok.

Even at lunch or when the pair lock the classroom for break, not a single conversation or an utterance of spite or hatred was thrown at Hanni. Silence. Like she doesn’t exist and the goal was to get away from her as soon as possible and it pains her to see Y/N smile at someone else other than her. There’s still the rival aspect but after what had happened, after the kiss, shouldn’t it be addressed that there is more to it than meets the eye.

In the table quite far from them sat Y/N’s circle, seeing the girl laughing at the things being thrown around the table, Hanni wishes she could be the reason for that stupid smile on your face. Watching Chaewon lean on her shoulder and watching the slight public display of affection, her right eye started twitching. Planning a murder in her mind as she watches how affectionate the pair is, she has never noticed how affectionate the girl is not until she realized how much space she occupies in Hanni’s mind (and possibly her heart).

“Do you think if I asked for a bottle of chloroform from our lab technician, I’d be a suspect in a possible murder case?” It was out of the blue, her entire friend group looked at her as if she’s insane, following her line of sight, it made sense that it would be directed at Y/N.

“Let your rival live, I’m just here for the plot of it.” Haerin watches how the table at the back seems to have its life back within the two days that Y/N was gone. It was a given fact that she was the sunshine along with Eunchae within the group and missing that meant silence and no one to tease Hanni to.

“Huh? Since when did Chaewon and Y/N become a couple?” Minji and Hanni looked at Danielle as if she had stated the most absurd thing aside from the possible murder case that Pham Hanni is planning in the back of her mind.

“They’re not!” Danielle, Haerin, and Hyein looked at the pair in shock - aside from Minji and her obvious crush on the feisty girl that she sits next to. It was the fact that Hanni’s reaction regarding the possible relationship was what made everyone lose it. Even she was shocked by what she had said.

“Oh my god – you like Pa-” Hanni covered Hyein’s mouth before she could finish her sentence. Minji assumed that was the case after the whole call incident and the graduation ball date. With the reaction like that, surely Hanni likes Y/N.

“That… explains… a lot.” The group looked at the eldest as the initial shock of the revelation finally sinks in to everyone. Pushing Jungwon away, getting snappy, and it’s all because of a girl.

“Shut it, Minji. That does not explain anything at all.”

“I thought you were straight.”

The group laughed at Haerin’s comment, only for Hanni to smack the cat-like girl. 

She doesn’t like Y/N, she’s merely intrigued by the girl that used to sit next to her and always consumes coffee as if her life depends on it. The girl that wears rings all the time and fidgets with it whenever she’s thinking or nervous - or how her uniform is always a mess and it’s her job to fix it while she gets a scolding from her. The girl that lowkey has anime merchandise keychains on her bag and no one would immediately get it unless they watch it. The very same girl that is the daughter to a rich family that she could possibly be the next owner of.

No, she doesn’t like Park Y/N. I’m in denial.

Hanni wonders how she ended up here, sitting in a cafe far from the counter holding a cup of hot chocolate while acting as if she’s reading a book but in reality she is just observing her rival preparing coffee.

Even in the cafe, she would go lengths to avoid Hanni such as making Sakura take her order. She didn’t expect for Hanni to be at the cafe, let alone she never knew that Hanni goes out and not stay in her room to study all day – it’s weirder to see Hanni out of nowhere than seeing a teacher during the weekend during normal day to day things.

“I’m guessing that’s Hanni.” Sakura leans on the counter as she watches the supposed owner of the cafe clean up. Seeing her ears slowly turn a shade of red simply from the mention of the girl’s name and tensing simply by looking at the one of the few customers they have during early in the morning.

“Can’t believe Chae already spilled you the details.”

“In exchange, she did admit to liking Minji. I think that’s a win-win scenario.”

Y/N chuckled at Sakura’s comment, it was deemed fair that Chaewon would know as to why there was a need to switch seats with Minji. In exchange, both of them admitted to liking their seatmates and partners for the project. The difference is that Chaewon isn’t fighting for the attention of her crush against multiple other people; Pham Hanni is still in a somewhat relationship with Jungwon.

Hanni doesn’t know why watching Y/N laughing and being playful with her coworker makes her heart hurt. She has Jungwon but why does her heart scream for the girl that has been ignoring her for almost a week. How she wishes that she could run into her arms and kiss her, but now she’s watching her leaning towards her coworker with ash gray hair that she believes is the sweetest barista but in her eyes it's someone who wants Park Y/N.

“You’re really playing with fire, Y/NN.”

“Unnie, let’s just see if she’ll do something with her feelings,”

Park Y/N, look at what you’ve done to me. Is this what they call jealousy? If it is, Pham Hanni hates it.

She hates that she’s falling for Park Y/N.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Something that I couldn't put into words but now I can about the Chaggie conflict in "Rosie" and one other reason it hurt: Charlie questioning Vaggie's loyalty. Yes, I know it wasn't because of Vaggie's origin but because of the lie itself but still hurts and clearly hurt Vaggie - she has been nothing but loyal and honest in Charlie's dream and has only ever done 1 lie in all of that. And when it's revealed, Charlie is now questioning everything - Again, I understand but it still hurts. And I know this might be redundant, I WANT this moment to come back again in S2. I don't know how but I want Vaggie to admit how angry/hurt it made her that Charlie questioned the loyalty she has given without asking for anything. What do you think?

i don't think Vaggie was even slightly angry with Charlie until her girlfriend made a magically binding pact with an unrepentant serial killer the second Vaggie wasn't looking XD

......we're asking a bit much by expecting the woman who hates and judges herself over her own mass murderer past... to then be upset that her girlfriend was also hurt and angry about that and reacted badly to randomly having all that dropped out of the clear blue sky in the middle of an already terrible day...

so in that ep got the vibe Vaggie spent the entire time feeling sick and guilty over the whole thing tbh. As usual

(and her feeling very very not good about seeing Alastor getting all creepy mentor with a Charlie who just got a wedge driven between her and her main emotional support- im 100% sure Vaggie's "Charlie can we talk-?" following Alastor's "good girl" thing was her wanting to know EXACTLY what deal her gf just made with Alastor and what the hell she was thinking and charlie are you sure Vaggie can't just stab him a little as a warning-)

But Vaggie, she's also not really uh. Not got a good track record of wanting or letting Charlie know about her feeling bad about stuff, emotions wise. Even when Charlie is right next to her reaching out. That's not her thing???

ah what the hell tangent time

like one big reason Vaggie DIDN'T fess up her past to Charlie was her being scared Charlie would be hurt by it and actually hate her for having done that, because Vaggie is being hurt by her past and hates herself for having it (re: every time she's called angels like herself deranged), so even though the blackmail against her made NO real sense and Adam's threat was just him not understanding that someone (charlie) could ACTUALLY believe in redemption for LITERALLY anyone (she does), it still pinged Vaggie's fear right in the heart, making the stuff like how Charlie is letting a known serial killer live in the hotel and help out with her and Vaggie's dream go RIGHT out the window-

(to be fair from Vaggie's pov there's probably a BIG difference between ending someone's mortal life on Earth (a la normal sinner seral killers) and presumably destroying their entire soul forever (re: exorcists) so like, that's kinda fair, but it still doesn't include how Charlie is WILLING TO WORK WITH AND THINK THE BEST OF HEAVEN AND THE EXORCISTS ANYWAY which is WHY she thought going to heaven to talk with them could work in the first place)

(to be extra fair it doesn't MATTER how much Vaggie trusts Charlie bc Vaggie had body parts ripped off and her eye permanently gouged out and was abandoned in hell by someone ELSE she use to trust once and THAT means really trusting people not to hate or abandon her is gonna take her putting some more blame on Adam and Lute and co and less on herself, because as long as she focuses on what SHE did (murderer) to make all this happen TO herself (filth like you doesn't deserve-) she's never gonna fully get that what happened to her was a choice shit people made (let's exterminate ppl for fun! let's rip off our comrade's wings and eye without hesitation!!!), one they didn't have to make, one she didn't make for them- meaning non-shit people like Charlie probably won't do that to her, actually, bc people like Charlie will care about Vaggie as a person outside of her being useful or being exactly what is wanted. Like how Charlie was more worried about Vaggie at the end of ep 3 than anything else and wouldn't let Vaggie blame herself and was fine with things being hard as long as she and Vaggie could face them together. Like how Charlie was calmed in the More Than Anything reprise not by Vaggie promising to fix everything but by Vaggie saying Charlie is important and wonderful to HER)

if anything Vaggie might be upset if she found out Charlie had less of a problem with the Exorcist thing than with the lying thing

If you (Vaggie) think you still need to EARN redemption, then having someone say your sins don't bother them so much can ironically make you panic and either think they're lying to you OR it can make you worry you've downplayed what you've done and are somehow tricking the person you love into believing you're a better person than you actually are and therefor might be taking advantage of them, which of course you don't want to do because you love them, which is a pretty big contradiction you probably won't notice is there

Sooooo i could see Vaggie spiraling into something like THAT but,

her be angry at Charlie for being upset over the thing Vaggie hates about herself? the mental health levels aren't good enough for that one yet XD

basically both Vaggie and Charlie got to live through the very fun experience of being trapped in your own head and trauma

anyway, the fact that Charlie didn't ask or want or LET Vaggie do an apology for any of that at the hotel gates says more than enough for me, for both of them. Just like with Vaggie putting her own fear and self-loathing onto Charlie, most of Charlie's pain in that ep didn't come from Vaggie's past or Vaggie's lie.

I've said Charlie's bad at figuring out what she's feeling and ep 7 is where it really bit her in the ass- she got hit with an identity crisis (turns out the one person who always believes in her didn't trust her enough to tell her this) (this on top of the epic fail of their shared dream to save sinners from extermination and the looming destruction of the hotel that represents that dream) and trauma trigger (what if Vaggie lied about all of that too, what if she never really loved or had faith in Charlie, what if Charlie is going to be alone again) without understanding that's what was going on or that it was something coming from herself as much as from Vaggie.

Being away from Vaggie didn't reduce Charlie's stress during that ep, it made it worse, until Rosie had to yoink her in for an emergency counseling session. Before that Charlie vents about how she told Vaggie everything and shared everything with her (the exorcist thing gets a TINY throwaway mention it is NOT the focus here) and when you add the lie revelation to how Vaggie asked to be alone on the roof in ep 3 instead of letting Charlie be there for her, it stops being about ONE lie TO Charlie, and turns into YEARS of lies ABOUT Charlie's place in Vaggie's life.

Which was terrifying and painful and... went away the MOMENT Charlie realized Vaggie did actual love her and believe in her, and was not actually going to leave her.

If actions mean more than words then their reunion at the hotel gates is them both saying the only thing either of them want to hear- I missed you, i love you, i want to be with you. Here's this horrible souvenir i picked up for your while we were on opposite sides of town and thanks babe im gonna fling myself into your open arms about it.

Vaggie hates herself too much to feel like Charlie owes her an apology for being hurt and angry at the Exorcist lie. It was a pretty big thing to keep hidden

i mean murder aside, Charlie had no idea Vaggie's opinions and advice about heaven was from personal experience, she probably assumed it was just normal sinner bias against the people who kill sinners and not, you know, Vaggie secretly dissing on how terrible her former boss and co-workers used to be. Maybe Charlie would've approached the talking to heaven differently if she'd known. Maybe she would've tried strangling Lute's hologram in ep 1. we will sadly never know

we DO know that Vaggie ran to hug Charlie right after the secret was revealed, which means Vaggie was mainly worried about Charlie being hurt by it, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for Vaggie to be upset at Charlie when Charlie does turn out to be hurt by it

so Vaggie wanting an apology from Charlie? I see her more wanting a very, very, VERY long hug

but if Charlie ever tries giving an apology anyway (a la the balcony scene in ep 3), that might just freak Vaggie out and fuck her up with "oh no my gf doesn't understand how bad the things i've done are am i tricking her am i using her would she be better off without me" issues for the foreseeable future ^w^;

[warringwarrioridiot]

I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM ISTG

WHY CANT I JUST FEEL PRETTY FOR ONCE I FUCKING HATE MY APPEARANCE

I WISH MEN WOULD JUST SHUT UP AND REALIZE THAT WOMEN AREN'T SEX TOYS oH MY GOOODDD

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE AND LISTEN

WOMEN AREN'T TOOLS

WE HAVE FEELINGS

WE'RE HUMAN BEINGS

I JUST WANT SOME FUCKING LOVE I DON'T WANT TO BE USED IM SO FUCKING SCARED OF HEARTBREAK I CANT EVEN FUCKING BRUNG MYSELF TO OPENLY ADMIT MY FEELINGS BECAUSE IM AFRAID THAT ALL MEN WILL BE THE SAME

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD QUIT ADVERTISING THOSE STUPID WAXING COMMERCIALS AND QUIT MAKING ME FEEL SO FUCKING UGLY

I WISH I NEVER WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL BC THATS WHAT STARTED IT ALL

THATS WHEN I BEGAN TO HATE MY FUCKING BODY AND DREAMING OF DEATH

THE FACT THAT MEN WILL TRY TO NORMALIZE RAPE AND CATCALLING MAKES ME WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT AND SCREAM

STOP SEXUALIZING WOMEN AND FETISHIZING OUR PAIN

WORDS CAN'T DESCRIBE THE FUCKING RAGE I FEEL WHENEVER SOMEONE SAYS "Boys will be boys ❤️"

LIKE OKAY THEN BETTY GO TO THE FUCKING RETIREMENT HOME

WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING THE SAME FUCKING BATTLE SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME SOLELY BECAUSE MEN WANT TO DO NOTHING BUT VIOLATE US

"Not all men" SHUT UPPPO

WD KNOW NOT ALL MEN DO THAT SHIT SO SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY FUCKING GOD

I WANT TO KMS WHY ARE MEN SO FUCKING DENSE

I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED

AND THE FACT THAT MEN THINK THAT TIGHTNESS MEANS AROUSAL WHEN ITS THE FUCKING OPPOSITE IS INSANE

MY OWN FATHER, MY OWM FUCKING FATHER, SAID THAT FEMINISM IS AN ANTI-MEN MOVEMENT WHEN ITS THE ONE THING THAT'S GIVING ME HOPE

MEN ARE SO FUCKING DENSE AND CONTROLLING I JUST WISH THEY'D ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST SHOW US GENUINE NON-SEXUAL AFFECTION

[lovableapocalypse]

the 1

bassist!remus x fem!reader

wc- 800 ish

warnings- swearing, alcohol, fluff?

a/n- watching the oscars inspired me to write an award show fic lol. also i chose the brits bc theyre british idek. another thing ik this picture is alexa chung but i just want to preface reader has no description except blushing and i do not picture her in any way specific i just liked this picture. lastly ive been so unmotivated to write so i tried tonight but ive been hating everything i write so the longer chapter im working on is taking awhile but its coming. im like 2k deep and not even halfway into the plot lol. anyway love u all.

The champagne you had been consuming tonight brought a heavy flush to your skin. The round table you all were surrounding was decorated elegantly and littered with drinks. Your head was perched in your fist and a look of awe was evident on your features. This was the boy's second year attending the Brits but it still ceased to amaze you. 

It was easy to forget they were a largely appreciated group now and these luxury events were a part of that. You were more dressed up than you think you’d ever been. Remus had wrapped his arms around you from behind when you were putting the finishing touches on, meeting your gaze in the mirror. He looked more than attractive in his simple black suit and his lips pressed to your neck, “You look beautiful.” Your face lit up at his words and your heart melted even at his most simple compliments. 

You, the band, and the team’s managers were all watching the current artist perform on stage and Remus had his arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders. They were nominated in the next category and you could tell the boys were tense. You moved to sit up straight and glanced at Remus. He caught your gaze and warmly smiled at you. You returned the gesture and leaned into him. 

“Even if you don’t win, I’ll still love you.”

He laughed, “Good to know.”

You smiled against him and rested your hand on his thigh, squeezing. The artist on stage finished and the room felt crowded with anticipation for the next award- Best Group. The band was up against some impressive names, but they’d put in the hard work and you believed they deserved to win. 

You could feel Remus’ hold on you grow intense as the announcers walked on stage. Your heart was racing and you could hardly retain what they were saying, catching certain words as your mind fluttered. Impressive. Best. Wonderful. Praise was floating around the room as short descriptions of the nominated bands played for the audience. 

When the last clip played, a cute montage of the boys sitting around you, and the woman on stage reached for the envelope, you held your breath. Remus grabbed your hand, squeezing it in his fist. You returned the gesture and glanced at the boys around you. James and Sirius leaned close to one another, Lily clutching James’ hand nearby. Peter was resting his face on his palm, their manager clutching his back. 

The boy’s had been invited to the ceremony last year under the Best New Band/Music category, but with only an EP out they hadn’t expected anything. And while their wins were unsuccessful, the experience itself had been amazing. 

This year the boys had produced a number one album and had been traveling all over the UK for shows. They had been dreaming of this moment, but were too scared to admit they might win- or lose. 

Your fingers were aching and time slowed as you anticipated the reveal. Your breath held still, you swore you heard wrong when both announcers shouted, “The Marauders!!!”

You gasped and reached for Remus as he sprouted out of his seat. You followed and he pulled you into him, smashing his lips against yours. You laughed and returned the gesture. Breaking away, you shared a yell of excitement and he squeezed your arms tightly. You both turned to the table, celebrating quickly as they moved towards the stage. 

Everyone’s smile was bright and unbelieving. You hugged Lily close as they greeted the announcers and moved to the mic. Sirius, the frontman he was, grabbed the award and lifted it up in appreciation. You cheered along with everyone and watched as he glanced at his bandmates in shock. 

“Fuck. Wow. Thank you.” He laughed. 

James threw his arms around Remus and Peter behind Sirius and they all grinned like madmen. Your hands moved over your face in shock, unbelievably proud of your boys and how far they’ve come. Sirius thanked their fans and the other bands nominated and finished with a group hug with his best mates. 

They shuffled off the stage and came back over in an adrenaline induced state. You hugged James, Peter, and lastly Sirius who held you close and whispered his love to you. Remus approached you again with a beautiful, bashful smile on his face. He kissed you sweetly and wrapped his arms tightly around you. 

When you sat back down you barely paid any attention to the ceremony and you took turns holding the award and admiring it. 

Remus pulled you close to his side again and moved his hand to your exposed thigh. He gently slid his hand up, whispering, “I just want to go home now and celebrate.” You subtly bit your lip, “Hmm. That sounds nice. Can’t believe I get to go home with a real rock star.” He laughed at the nickname and kissed your lips, muttering an ‘I love you’ under his breath. 

[gamermaxy]

ur bodyguard max/prince daniel au has taken over my mind and i was wondering how it all started, what pushed them over the edge into a full blown secret relationship? An unplanned heat? IDK but im very curious!

see, i love the unplanned heat scenario so i’m torn between two: innocent or heat. i’ll write them both. it gets long. sorry!!

idk why but i think it starts really innocently (honestly, i’ve not started writing it yet so it may change when i do). daniel knows all his security are alphas bc his parents made sure this was vetted.

daniel’s safety is paramount!! he’s the omega prince of australia and that’s carrying a LOT!!

anyway, max is daniel’s favourite security guard. he really didn’t like max at first - he’s so rude and blunt and BLEH!! anyone, daniel almost gets hurt and max is the one who gets in the way and gets injured. maybe he’s shot in the shoulder or something and daniel feels super bad. it makes him super sad and he just wants to nest but he has to make a public appearance.

he hates it!! max isn’t by him and like it’s weird for max to not be there looking after him. daniel is absolutely not living for this.

daniel demands that someone takes him to the hospital caring for max and then sends everyone out so he can watch max sleep and say thank u.

daniel demands max is taken to the hospital to recover and max is under strict instruction to stay in bed. but he can sense daniel is upset so he’s wincing and goes to knock on daniel’s door

daniel is crying and nesting and tells him to go away. it’s okay when max says ‘yes, your highness’ does daniel realise who it is and rushes to open the door, his nose runny and eyes red.

daniel invites max into his bedroom and max hovers by the nest until daniel invites him in. max, always the professional, keeps his distance and is about to leave when it’s dark but daniel asks him to stay. they kinda cuddle up, daniel careful not to hurt max.

daniel thanks max for saving his life and admits he feels really bad max got injured and max sorta pets his hair to soothe him. daniel would coo and chirp and max would think it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. but max is also scared bc he knows this can’t last forever

oh, also!! it’s the first time daniel’s smelt max without blockers and he can’t get enough. tries not to nuzzle into max’s scent gland.

or!!

daniel goes into a stress heat once max is back at the palace. idk how but max senses that something’s wrong. it’s like he’s wired to look after daniel

nobody is near daniel’s room for some reason and max is pissed bc someone JUST tried to hurt his the omega prince. so he goes and he hears daniel screaming and crying

daniel’s in a super painful heat and begs max to help him and he’s only an alpha. he can’t resist daniel. who could???

so he helps him. super gently and daniel is so good and so pliant underneath him. he’s so good to daniel and tries so hard not to bite him. max doesn’t bite.

when the heat is over, daniel asks him to stay and max is terrified he’s gonna lose his job. they curl up in the nest and oh fuck, maybe daniel isn’t on birth control idk

[drifloonz]

Omg hi! I very recently got REALLY into Strangled Red so finding your writing for it was such a nice surprise, it's feeding my hyperfixation for this man so well. I love how you write and portray him especially since I'm a sucker for character phycology. If you're still up for it, could you maybe give some headcannons for Steven reacting to the s/o reader being hit on and not being into it? I just think it has nice writing potential and I'm a sucker for jealousy/possessiveness and overprotectiveness when the character has good reason to be. If you don't feel up for it I completely understand that, and just know that I've loved all the writing you've done so far! :)

ty sm.. i fucking love Analyzing steven hes like a petri dish algae or something that im putting under a microscope. he means so much to me and i love picking him apart like the little freak [lovingly] that he is.

i am very glad i make ppl think of him and give ppl food that is my Goal . Give people good steven food. steven food makes it sound like stevens a creature u need to feed. thats s!3v3n not steven /j

ALSO SAME HERE i love jealousy and possessiveness and being overprotective within like. Normal means. Maybe its bc i have bpd idk but i also like when ppl are jealous in regards to me or clingy... makes you feel important sometimes and thats nice to some people including me hehehe.

anyways !!

jealous steven x s/o reader!

__

♡ steven's not one for going out with you - he prefers to rot in his house. it's awful, but, at least you visit him and are there with him a lot of the time. or he's with you in your house rotting a little less. either or is fine to him.

♡ although, recently he's been trying more. maybe you have a job and he likes to visit you because he gets lonely - he's not all too dissimilar to a growlithe or a clingy litten waiting for their owner to get home. except he's a grown ass 6-or-7' man that tends to intimidate everyone just by being around, so how clingy he is sometimes is kind of jarring. gap moe.

♡ or maybe you just go out a lot and he likes to tag along, because well. he likes you. and you're probably dating?

♡ .. and because he's scared that something will happen to you when he's not around.

♡ . . . he won't admit that part, though.

♡ he'll often be overaffectionate when and if you visit him when you haven't for a while, too. clingy overaffectionate. lots of cuddling and silent affection from the big guy.

♡ he especially doesn't like thinking about the fact that other people can possibly see you and have less than great thoughts about you or possibly be making passes at you when he's not there - you're his, dammit. ... and he's all yours, not like anyone else is competing for him these days.

♡ so when he is there, and when someone does, and has the balls to do it around or in front of him?

♡ well. probably when he's around but not immediately close to you. and as such...

♡ he'll probably stand up if he overhears it / sees it, or just thinks anybody's being just a biiiit too friendly with you. goes behind you, maybe while you're still talking to the person, busy and unaware that he's Approaching.

♡ he's so tall the shadow of his figure looms over the person who even dared to try.

♡ he'll just glare at them, until they fuck off. honest to god. he hates talking to people, especially strangers, and his resting neutral face being turned into slightly more of a resting bitch face sends the message better than anything he could say ever would.

♡ he can look scarier if he wants to, maybe make his eyes glow red and give a bit more of a snarl - but just his resting face seems to scare people off real easily. good. he doesn't want to put in too much effort- plus, it might look wrong, or odd. him emoting in any good or bad way more than his usual resting face tends to look weird. he has no idea how he used to do it so much more when he was younger ... ( HE'S SUCH A FUCKING LOSERRRR . sorry continue on . )

♡ and after the fact - or if they somehow don't get the memo from that - he'll try harder.

♡ some possessive touches - a squeeze of the hand, pulling you closer to him, maybe resting his hands on your hips or shoulder - maybe even his head resting on your head... anything that silently tells other people that you two have something deeper going on.

♡ he doesn't want to actively scare them off. it'd cause a scene, and steven already hates being in public and around people as much as it is, especially because he can feel everyones eyes always on him like he's some freak. which he is, but ... it makes him feel Some sort of way. reminds him of how everyone stared at him, almost as if he was some laughingstock of kanto, when miki had-

he can't keep thinking about this. something'll happen. he doesn't want to get like that in public again, ever.

♡ anyways.

♡ even if the person already left, steven will be quick to make it clear to everyone else and you that you two are an item. he doesn't want anyone else to look at you or talk to you in that way.

♡ ... he doesn't want to lose you. you're about all he has these days, and he doesn't think he's the best choice of a boyfriend or even anyone you should be dating at all - always scared he'll do or say something. always scared of what he did back then coming back to haunt him, always feeling guilty and like you should know about the things he did. he thinks he's awful, honestly. he keeps things from you, and things you should probably know. he's not the greatest person.

♡ steven could go on and on in his head about why you should not be dating him of all people - you're so beautiful, too. you deserve better, to have anyone you want.

♡ but you are dating him. and he's happy. happier than he's ever been, and he feels loved, and lucky - but also scared. he has something to lose, again. and he's terrified.

♡ so he has to work to show you that he loves you. cherishes you more than the world. this is just one of those small ways he does it, even if in an odd way and due to him being possessive and clingy. but he's like that for a very good reason.

♡ because you're everything to him.

♡ sometimes he's glad that people are scared of him. he can protect you that way. even if he can never fully integrate back to society - not that he ever even fucking wants to - he can at least be around you.

♡ you joke about him being like your personal bodyguard sometimes.

♡ there's a faint smile when he hears that.

__

i hope u enjoyed i went kind of crazy. I think about how much he'd be scared to be dating someone again sssoooo badly LIKE HE HAS SOMETHING TO LOSE AGAIN. HE'S TERRIFIED OF LOSING YOU TO SOMETHING HE CAN'T CONTROL!! like. Especially death or some freak accident like with miki and mike but from also, just not being good enough, being a bad partner, someone charming you more than him... etc. this all comes to a head in how clingy and possessive he is.

He has no idea how he'd deal with it either and doesn't even want to think ab it because if he did he'd tweak ( go s!3v3nmode and lock himself in his room about it. )

he will Not lose you because he cannot fucking lose you and if it means being a fucking loser and getting protective of you if anyone even so much as tries to flirt with you, then so be it.

I LOVE EXPLORING THIS SIDE OF HIM. HE'S NOT A YANDERE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE JUST HAS INSAAANE ISSUES. TRAUMA. PTSD. AND BPD. and also Really bad paranoia. Probably some other shit too maybe ocd fuck if i know He doesnt know either but basically he has. Issues. and doesnt know how to handle them esp since hes been isolated so hes Working on it. Kind of.

ty for requesting ^-^ its good to get in the writing groove again. altho my keyboard feels a little weird and wacky which doesnt help and i Should clean it but thank god i can type properly again.

[lulumilkshake]

helloo can i request a lil fic of jealous gojo pleasee 💗

a/n: sorry i just saw this ugh, but yes bc i LOVE jealous men especially if they r hot!!💁‍♀️💁‍♀️

bad dog

pairing: g. satoru

warning(s): nothing much besides jealousy and fluff, some angst if you squint, use of she/her

gojo was obsessed with you. how could he not be? you’re beautiful, strong, confident, pretty much everything he loves in a woman.

he knew you felt the same way about him too, so what was this clenching feeling in his heart?

yaga assigned a little exchange assistant teacher to you. he was used to study tokyos jujutsu teachings and take notes on behavior. he wasn’t strong at all, average in looks (compared to him), and obviously had a crush on you.

gojos teeth clenched at the fact you were joking around with the dog (as gojo would call him) and the first years. that should be HIM!

“you’re staring. hard.” shoko commented on his obvious aura of jealousy. he responded to her stab at him with an annoyed “tch”.

“this isn’t like you to not intervene when she’s getting hit on. are you intimidated or something?” she sticks her tongue out as she said that.

“intimidated to a dog used by the elders? hell no.” he rolled his eyes through his blindfold, gagging.

“im only not saying anything because yaga told me not to torment him or whatever.” gojo said as he was imitating yaga.

that’s actually not true. he didn’t intervene because you told him not to intervene. he would never admit that though because this wasn’t the first time he got jealous over people trying to advance on you.

whether it was men at a bar, fellow co-workers, his friends, or even your friends, he would always try and scare them away when they tried hitting on you.

he wasn’t even insecure or anything. he’s the strongest he has nothing to be insecure of! he just loved the feeling of knowing your his.

even though he does all of this, he HATES when you call him jealous.

“jealous? honey you must be thinking of someone else. you know i have nothing to be jealous of.” he often replies slyly whenever you call him jealous. you think it’s because he knows it’s true, but would never EVER admit it.

“you daydreaming or something?” shoko said as she brought him back to earth by waving a hand in front of his face.

“she probably doesn’t even think he is funny. i’d be laughing at how he fights, not his lame jokes.” he says suddenly. shoko replies with a large laugh.

“seriously at this point just go over there and give him the ijichi treatment. have him get you a soda or something if you’re this jealous.” she responded as she got up from her spot on the bench, wiping the dust of her pants.

“not, jealous” he replies again annoyed. but it wasn’t a bad idea to treat him like the dog he is.

as he was just about to get up as well, you called him over.

“satoru!! c’mere honey!” you yelled out sweetly for him. god he was so whipped for you.

when he walked over to you, you greeted him with a long kiss. he grabbed your waist not letting go.

“ahem” the assistant teacher (dog) coughed at the awkward tension between him and gojo.

“ahh your the um..” he drawls out his reply and snaps his fingers when he gets an answer “the dog the elders are using!”

before the assistant teacher could respond back with an offended answer, gojo flips him a coin and winks

“hey.. why don’t you go get me a soda. cmon don’t be a bad dog!”

a/n: FIRST REQUEST! tysm hope u enjoyed bae