#bc i feel so weak rn 💀

[pandoa]

brb guys trying to recover from my unhealthy life choices

[melodic-haze]

omv au where chiori pretends to be an alpha when she’s an omega because she’d def do that and then she meets alpha reader and they date and stuff but she doesn’t tell reader that she’s an omega

and then she goes in heat one day when she’s working at the boutique and reader finds her in the back room and UH YEAH

or a non omv au where she’s just horny

(IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFY LITERALLY JSUT IGNORE ME IM SO SORRY IM BRAIN ROTTING RN IM REALLT SORRY)

Tbf the only things I'm not a fan of when it comes to omegaverse are the whole 'second gender = your purpose in life' thing along with the 'second gender = role in sex' stuff and especially the possession thing like with mates and etc (though that particular point's bc I HATE HATE HATE being tied down 💀💀💀💀💀). Maybe some other stuff too but I never dug deep into it, nor was I really interested 🤷‍♀️ but in this case? Those issues can be rectified by NOT saying anything about them actually 😜 ANYWAY gotta get the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 on

She's so stubborn that this is EXACTLY the kind of thing she'd do, painting herself to be some sort of standoffish woman who needs for nothing and has no weakness. She doesn't like being seen as some sort of charity case or someone to exploit or anything, so she probably does so out of necessity

SHE'S SO CAREFUL WITH IT TOO???? I think being in a relationship would definitely throw Chiori off her game. Her forgetting to take suppressants or whatever would be DOOOOOOM for her ass 😭 cuz she DOES NOT want distractions but. Here we are

You find her in the back room and tbh she'd be in such shame, telling you to go the FUCK away bc you weren't meant to find out about this—you weren't even meant to be together for long or even at ALL bc relationships just redirect her thoughts and feelings from her magnum opus in fashion and stuff........but then her actions and pheromones tell the exact opposite, with the way she's trying so desperately to get off but she can't. And when you get close enough, she's clinging onto you, debating whether to push you away or pull you close

Do girlie a favour and help her relieve herself 🤷‍♀️ esp since she'd be SO pent up anyway bc she's not really the type to touch herself often or even THINK about that kind of stuff in the first place, omv or no. So likeee treat her carefully ☹️ no rough sex this time (CRAZY coming from me ik), she needs to cum explosively and not in the way that has her hurting all over ☹️☹️☹️ she needs to be sure you're GOING to take care of her, if the both of you are gonna have this arrangement

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

YAYY YOU'VE OPENED YOUR REQUESTS!! 🥳🥳 okay so, the thing is, i'm on my period rn and i'm kind of craving some pietro fluff😞

can i request a fic where the reader got back to the avengers compound in the middle of the night after a super tiring and degrading mission and she needs some comfort after everything that happened, so she goes to pietro's room and sneak into his bed (she went to his room after she showered ofc bc imagine sleeping next to him being all sweaty, stinky and bloody from the mission💀). pietro wakes up and sees her laying next to him and, even sleepy, he gets all happy that she's back and immediately pulls her into his arms to cuddle. they talk briefly and, when she's about to fall asleep, pietro starts to whisper sweet nothings to her until they both eventually fall asleep in each others arms.

I know YAAYAY!!! but not yay to your period, big boo!! this is a super cute idea and hope it can be of some help. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

LATE-NIGHT SWEET NOTHINGS.

pietro maximoff x fem!reader

word count. 515

Missions were always strenuous, no matter how many you've been on. But this one assignment in particular, evoked many feelings you wish to forget. 

As soon as the jet landed on the grounds of the compound, you headed right for the door - not wanting to mess around. It was late. You were tired. And all you wanted was to forget about your awful mission. So you waved 'bye' to the few members on board, throwing your bag over your shoulder before leaving the ship.

You were utterly frazzled and worn, the only person who could be of any help, sleeping soundly in his room down the hall. You wanted to see him immediately, but you were in no state - so you headed into your room first, making your way into your ensuite and getting into the shower. 

You wanted to scrub away the dirt and grime and guilt of your night, so you did exactly that - letting the water coat and wash you. After a short while of decompressing, you step out - drying off before putting on something warm and comfy: sweats and fluffy socks. 

After finishing up with your routines, you trudge down the hall to Pietro's room - slowly and quietly opening the door, you sneak inside. You didn't want to disturb him, especially since it was so late, so you tiptoe across his room, creeping into the empty side of his bed. 

You feel Pietro roll next to you, instinctively moving closer to you under the covers - he wasn't awake, but even in sleep, he knew you were there. You scooch closer, burying your face into his bicep, wanting to elevate the distress within you and seeking solace. 

"Missed you," Pietro sleepily grumbles, wrapping an arm around your middle - holding you tight. 

"I missed you," you whisper, voice weakened.

"What's the matter?" his eyes fling open, head pulling back to see you clearer. "You sound sad."

"Nothing," you partially lie, ducking your face back into the comfort of him. "Just tired."

Even in his tired, half-asleep state, he wasn't going to let it down easy. So he brings a hand to rest on the side of your face, gently moving your head back to meet him. "What happened?"

"It just sucked, and I missed you," you whisper, placing your hand over Pietro's - holding the back of it, fingers weaving into his.

He hums softly, leaning forward to kiss the tip of your nose, nuzzling his head into yours. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, speaking faintly between the close distance. 

You gently shake your head, snuggling further into him. 

He coos, wrapping his arm around your head —the one you rested upon— like the action was protecting you - shielding you. Like he was keeping you safe.

He resisted the urge to doze off first, wanting to wait for you. And while he listened to your breathing soften and even out - he whispered sweet nothings to you, speaking his love aloud to your almost sleeping self, cuddled into him.

these types of fic are me weakness!!! !!! !!!!!!!!

[rayroseu]

i really thought glomas malleus was the drippiest outfit design we'll ever get @ twst 💀💥💥

!! major spoilers for book 7 pt 3 !! the full body sprite of General Lilia Vanrouge obliterated me 🙏

GIRL GIRLLLL........... ARE YOU SEEING THOSE BOOTS???????? THE HEELS??? THE CLAW ENGRAVINGS?? OHHHH TO BE KICKED BY THOSE STURDY SHOES IS AN HONOR WTHHHJSJWKS😩😩😩

HEY THE LEG STRAP AND THE EMERALD DAGGERS AS WELLL!!!! KSJDJA WTF SERVING SLAY ON THE BATTLEFIELD SIR?!

there is SO MVUH TO TAKW IN my brain is barely coherent rn !!

ok the armbands were a given consideringvit was prominent on his silouette version-- but are those grey patterns a clothing or his actual skin as well??? @/MoonlightEquin1 on twt stated he has so much covering bcs of his weakness to sunlight, so I'm guessing its part of his cloth as well---SO IT MEANS HE HAS A BODY FIT SHIRT UNDERNEATH A CORSET AND ARMOR MY GOD I AM DAMNED😭💕

i lOVE HIS SKIRT?? it looks like bat wings im in AWE... and the scales with BEAD TASSELS?? do they clack together when he moves?? sounds impractical-- but totally lethal for aesthetic purposes!

also a nice reference to Diasomnia's Halloween Costume 🥺🥺 Its making me think he's wearing that in honor of the Draconia Family...

AND RIGHTT... THE B E LT HOW CAN I EVER FORGET THE BELT.... i kinda made fun for overblot malleus for tying his belt like that- BUT WHO KNEW IT LOOKED KINDA OFF WITH MALLEUS BCS ITS LILIA WHOS SUPPOSED TO ADORN IT... im sick💥

The bat motif AND HARNESSES!!!! ON HIS CHEST PLATE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE OUTFIT FUCKS IF IT HAS HARNESSES FOR ME!!!!! and is the tailor of his outfit him or some other fae?? the corset is literally glomas Malleus shirt KAJKAKSKA whoever designed this you're bringing Heaven on earth👍💕💕💕

NAD HAVE WE??? TALK ABOUT HIS MASK??? HAVE WE??? If I saw a person hunting me with that mask on in a dark forest, I'd die just from terror 9716662/10 terrific mask👍👍💕💕 oh i shouldnt forget to mention the MASSIVE FANGS OF THAT MASK... absolutely magnificent✨✨✨

and THE RED HIGHLIGHTS ON HIS HAIR???? HIS SCARF THAT KINDA WORKS AS A CAPE AND THE ENDS OF IT BEING RIPPED?? TO. DIE. FOR. 🤌👍✨😩😩😩

OHHH HOW I WISH THEY RELEASE THE DESIGN ARCHIVES FOR THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSEEEEE IM BEGGING!!! TO SEE HIS BACK!!! I KNOW HIS HAIRSTYLE IS IN A PONYTAIL BCS HIS LONG HAIR PEEKS OUT JUST ON ONE SIDE 😳🛐

also bYEYEYYE i feel like i took 40 screenshots just from zooming in on the details of his outfit💥💥

i feel like im not doing great in expressing my compliments on his outfit by TRYING. MY VERY BEST. IN DESCRIBING IT!!!! so really, the most profound way is to just stare at it admiringly and let your sight savor the details👍😩😩🤌

REST IN PIECES my fellow lilia artists, this is our moodboard🥲💥💥 you can do it, you'll achieve drawing him in all his briar-valleys-most-esteemed-general-glory🙏🙏🙏

credits: alchemivich

[bluestarjay]

Most of my hinata headcanons are based on the fact that most people write him pretty shallowly- as nothing more than his height and love of volleyball, his need to fly, and the fact he's friendly. The really well written stuff writes him well, as a kind of enigma, but even then, one of his main traits is: Oh, he's pure sunshine!! His eyes shone with pride and determination, a hunger to win; to fly, etc, etc. Right? With most ships, it's just about how beautiful he looks in the sunset/sunrise with his hair and eyes. My point is that he's mischaracterized without really being mischaracterized because it's all *true*. he is absolutely gorgeous, and he does have a hunger to win and fly, and volleyball is his entire world, but there's sooooo much more still.

Normally, I hc him according to canon; according to scenes from the manga/anime, and then further analyzing it, yk? But I *truly* think hinata shoyo would be a good liar and hard to read.

It's already somewhat canon that people find him confusing, in the fact that he's a people pleaser and switches up really quickly to make people happy. He'll say something, and then someone will disagree, and he'll immediately switch up so that person won't dislike him for his different opinion, ykwim?

And then people never know what he's thinking, either. He's completely oblivious to his own feelings but is hyper aware of other people's feelings. He doesn't notice when he's running a fever of 102° but notices that someone has 2/5 symptoms of the flu 💀💀 like my guy can remember suuuuper specific details about a person's life, like the day their great aunt's cat died, but forgets his own bday.

He's actually really smart, but he's failing all his classes bc he can't focus. I think he'd be really good at math, but really only with like decimals and uhh money math, like he's good at calculating tax and saving money, but that's bc he grew up especially poor and had to be cautious with money. He'd probably be better with Japanese literature than English literature bc obvi that's his native language, and I think he'd really like linguistics post Brazil.

But, he also has his signature death stare, and I kinda came up with a hc based off it; since we all agree he has adhd, a part of it is zoning out, and i think he'll sit hunched over like L and just do his little death stare out to nothing or nowhere in particular, or will sit on his bed zoned out doing the death stare out towards the door, with the lights off, and someone will walk in and scream. He just randomly hunches over like L sometimes, and daichi will tell him that it's bad for his back, and he'll say, "But it's comfy :(" actually I think I'm just writing autistic hinata rn oopsies it's ok tho we love autism hcs here!!

Since he's really small (probably underweight actually), he can fit into really small spaces, and he thinks they're comfy (me guys). But at the same time, he loves big fields and gyms bc he likes to run around. Basically, he says and does really conflicting things, and it confuses people, which is another reason he was bullied in middle school.

He started doing the death stare as a defense mechanism in middle school actually, bc older, taller kids tried to use that to their advantage and bully him, but glaring at them weird made them walk away. Also, contrary to popular belief, I hc he can fight. So many people have just decided he's, like, too weak to fight or smth?? Like they think he can't defend himself physically, which I personally think he could, but yk, anxiety, so he doesn't. Like my guy is an athlete, have you seen him?? He may be small, but if he wasn't frozen in fear and anxiety, he could beat someone's ass!!

I said before I actually do think he could lie, bc one again, he's a people pleaser, and I feel like once when he was a kid, a family friend or someone or like when he was at a friend's house, they made dinner and he didn't like it, so he lied about liking it, but the person knew he lied and called him out on it and he cried bc he lied abt liking it and lying is bad, but also telling them he didn't like the food is rude, which is also bad. So then he decided he'd learn how to lie. Also, ik he uses his height and baby face to his advantage!! ***Depending on the person*** he can get away with just about anything bc "🥺🥺🥺" and then when everybody else calls him out for it he's like "L fuck you hehehe 😜💪💪" Like he drew a 🍆 pp on the wall or something once and then blamed it on kageyama and the teacher believed him.

And even though he's a people pleaser, he's managed to find peace in playing pranks and being mean, in a normal teenager way ofc, because suga helped him come out of his shell (suga purely bc he is mischievous but still responsible and nice)(and then suga asks Asahi why he can't be like hinata bc Asahi can barely even write with pencil on a desk, let alone sharpie anything so 'vulgar' on school property (it's not *just* because he's scared bc it's vulgar it's also bc he doesn't think those kinds of jokes are funny, and simply doesn't understand why writing on school property is fun (that's how I feel, idk 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️) ))

BTW, guys, half of these are to spite my friend who calls hinata a "bean 🥺" even though she's not on Tumblr. Also, I think I'm gonna start organizing these kinds of posts so they're easier to read, haha. Does anyone want any character specific hc posts since I always do hinata?

[celestie0]

Ooof, sorry if come across rude or anything negative. Just saw your post ihm ex wife asks and how people were being rude or weirdly jealous. I hoped that my ask about knowing more about ihm ex wife, didn’t come off as being weird or rude person. ( I’m the that mention Lana del Rey)

It Seems at one point she’s going be added into the story? Correct me if I’m wrong but that’s really exciting!

Your whole au is my obsessed anyways apologize if came off ass weird/rude :(

hi love! mm yea, i think your ask did contribute to those feelings, mainly the part where you said you entirely block the ex wife part of the story out of your mind because you can’t imagine him w someone else other than reader

i don’t know, i have actually gotten similar asks for kickoff when i had a couple people tell me they skipped all of the scenes with kai in it bc they didn’t want to read about any other guy other than gojo

thing is, those are just things you don’t have to tell an author. if you do block things out or skip things, that’s fine. but just because you have access to communicate with a fanfic author doesn’t mean you should share those things with them. readers forget that we, fanfic authors, have a much more deeply invested personal interest in these stories as the creators of them, than a reader might have. it’s different from texting your friend “oh i dislike xyz ab this story”…because you’re literally sending those words to the person who put all their hard work n time into writing it lol

i try to put this into perspective, but for the whole kai thing for example: i spent a great deal of time planning those scenes out, spent a great deal of time writing & editing those scenes, n ultimately believe those scenes contribute greatly to the dynamics of the story. for people to straight up tell me they skipped those scenes, it’s odd and upsetting for sure.

i’m also like, what are you accomplishing by telling me that you skipped like half the chapter, or that you entirely dismiss parts of my story?…i have thought about this sooo much in trying to understand why tf i get asks like that, or why people think it’s appropriate to share those things with me, and the conclusion i can think of is that people are trying to subconsciously push me towards writing a story that THEY want by telling me the exact parts of my story that they entirely disregard/will disregard. and that makes me feel so icky, like i’m lowkey being manipulated into people pleasing people just cuz i post stuff for free. same goes for pressuring asks i get about writing more smut. those feel even more gross to me tbh, and it entirely kills my drive to write

i’m already struggling to find motivation to create stories among all the other insanity of things going on in my life. so yea words like that definitely do affect me, esp when it’s not just from one person, which i could probs write off as some internet troll, but from like 15+ different readers saying the same thing over n over n over again. and i KNOW i have so many wonderful readers n i’m endlessly grateful…but i’m starting to feel like chappell roan rn where i’m starting to realize maybe i’m just not cut out for this lmfaooo. it’s strange i’ve like literally seen people d** in real time but stan tumblr is what breaks me 💀💀 this shit is nottttt for the weak bahahah i see why so many authors leave

since i started posting here in january, i’ve dealt w people who would shame me for not posting updates at the time i said i would, i’ve dealt w people who would pressure me for updates, i’ve dealt w people who would pressure me for smut, i’ve dealt with people who have reduced my stories to nothing but smut, i’ve dealt with people who have made death threats against kickoff gojo for having commitment issues, i had a person straight up tell me they were “disappointed in the direction” of all of ch7 of kickoff, i had someone comment “he should’ve done ___ instead. will not be reading this fic anymore”, i’ve dealt w so many people belittle n disregard the whole ihm ex wife plotline. i’ve literally cried over some of these asks/comments, n i’ve felt embarrassed over some of them too. i’m just a person.

and i know i know i know i shouldnt focus on the negative interactions, i should just focus on the positive ones. but yknow how much mental real estate that takes to do? i’d consider myself to be a pretty mentally healthy person to be very honest, but even i have a hard time w doing that lmfao.

and then, to make things worse, i get scared that calling readers out for this kind of stuff will just make people fearful to interact with me in the future. and then im like damn i suck lol

in any case, i accept your apology. it’s not that deep at the end of the day i suppose, and i don’t want you to feel bad about it. there are bigger issues in this world rn than fanfiction on tumblr. also sorry i kinda used your ask to say all of this but i just wanted to share my perspective plus i’m pmsing so i’m emo lol i’m just waiting for my estrogen to rise at this point so i can feel human again n i might end up regretting posting this but anyways thanks xxx

[vacantgodling]

climbs into your askbox

hi i'm responding a little late to your request for wip questions but that's okay

anyway. head empty rn, but i'd love to hear a bit more about a wip of yours i've been curious about!!! vampires don't take road trips. i would like to learn more. i realize that's not a specific question so: looking at the main cast, what's something each of them would hate to be *seen* as and why? (i.e. if someone would hate to be seen as stupid, or would hate to be seen as unreliable, something like that)

or alternatively. silly question. rate the main cast in order from "will show up exactly on time on the dot to the function" to "will like clockwork show up at least an hour later than they were told to." feel free to elaborate on your rankings if you want!

this took me forever to answer im so sorry 💀💀💀

eee you are always welcome in my inbox :3c

i did make a powerpoint intro for this wip too so i link just so you can stare at it later lmaoo -> here

but these are both EXCELLENT questions, and for once i may have answers bc ive had these ocs for like a decade 💀

so, ig if we stick to the main main cast (which ngl is hard to determine for me but i suppose that’d be darren, dave, liz, olice, and veronica… at least for the first half of the book lmaooo) — for the easy question of who’s showing up on time versus who is showing up late in that order:

dave, veronica, olice, darren, liz

as for why:

dave is a lawyer and a generally punctual person and is somewhat anxious. he prefers to be 5 minutes early.

veronica is a wannabe socialite and so her image is contingent on if she shows up on time and so she’ll be there on the dot.

olice is used to her mothers antics and she feels like it’s rude to be ridiculously late so she tries to be there between on time or 5-10 minutes late at the most.

darren is more lax and tends to get distracted so if he shows up like 30 minutes late to the function it’s chill. the only time he’s on time is when dave is with him LOL

liz is an Actual socialite but she doesn’t care about that or social events in general so she tends to be “fashionably late” and people “forgive” her bc of her status 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

for the harder question:

DARREN: the way this is actually a hard question for my actually emotionally intelligent son LMAOOO. i think in general he hates being seen as dramatic, or someone who makes a big deal out of things. he’s a chill guy, and for his own sanity he prefers to stay chill if and when possible. the times that he’s had outbursts or had people accuse him of being overly dramatic are the few things that haunt him in life. i think the reason as to why… it’s a bit hard to say. but i think it comes down to the fact that in not wanting to be bothered with things himself, he tries not to bother other people. he’s more likely to assume that he’s getting on someone’s nerves or pissing them off and would just ghost them to avoid drama instead of fully confronting the situation. he Will if he needs to, but he’d just rather not because … idk? he just doesn’t think it’s worth the trouble. he’d rather keep his peace and be wrong than rock the boat and be right. it’s definitely something he’s kinda picked up from his dad, but darren manages to be waaaay more chill that even dave is because he just keeps people at arms length unless it’s his dad or olice. he learns how to do that less but the idea of letting people in enough to ruffle his inner peace is also. hm. not something he’s fond of. so basically, he’s not conflict avoidant he’s more conflict neutral and likes to take the path of least resistance if any of that makes sense.

DAVE: he hates being seen as weak. he recognizes that this is very irrational but it’s a fear and discomfort that developed from his own father, who was extremely harsh on him growing up, and even harsher if dave got upset or cried or wasn’t “manly.” so for him, being “weak” comes with a host of trauma around it that he’s still working through many years later. it doesn’t trigger him as bad as it used to, but it definitely still can.

LIZ: liz is a bit weird because she doesn’t really care how other people perceive her—she just doesn’t like being responsible for those assumptions people have of her character? so i wouldn’t say she hates being seen as competent but she hates being seen as something she’s “not” or something that she doesn’t take credit for. she’s not responsible for your preception of her yknow. if i had to say why it’s because she’s fiercely independent. she’s going to do what she wants to do and what she thinks is best no matter what and she’s usually not interested in hearing other people’s opinions; she’s quite stubborn. bending to other people’s whims is a bruise to her ego and she has done it before and hates herself for falling to that sort of weakness instead of doing what she wanted to do. so in a manner of speaking she hates being seen as controllable and hates being seen as weak in a somewhat similar way to dave, but more because of her personal pride than trauma. she’s an extremely proud woman lol.

OLICE: ngl, she hates being seen as her mother’s daughter. veronica hasn’t been the Best mother to olice. after she decided to return to the us and break up with her father in india (without even saying a word mind you so olice has never met the man. and before anyone says “maybe he was abusive” as the author i’m telling you, he wasn’t. veronica just got in over her head and then bailed, only thinking of herself but then didn’t take the proper steps to make sure her daughter felt loved or to be a good single parent 🤷🏽‍♂️), olice has only been treated by her mom and her mom’s extended family as a doll or an extension of her mother. better to be seen, not heard; the only interests that were fostered in a meaningful way were the ones that she shared with her mother. veronica often speaks over her and isn’t cognizant of her needs, more content to chase her aspirations than care about her daughter unless her daughter can be sort of “used” for something. she hates being reminded that they’re related. she refuses to go by the american (and technically legal) name that her mother gave her which is clara. her mother did at least tell her the name that her father wanted to name her/the name she and him agreed on in india which was olichudar and that’s why she goes by that. clara and olichudar have similar meanings which is how her mother came around to the name (clara meaning bright/famous, and olichudar meaning brilliant) but olice doesn’t think it suits her and she hates being called it. she also has her mothers sister’s name as an “honor name” so her cousins and extended family call her “cc” a lot and she hates it to Death. she became grateful when her mom started dating dave because it was through him that olice started getting some of the freedom to express herself and to try and reconnect with her indian heritage; with dave keeping veronica distracted or off her back about it. even though many say that her mother loves her in her own way (even dave sometimes and that’s the only thing she and he disagree on), olice has never felt real, unconditional love from her mother. especially when she compares it to dave and darren’s relationship. they’re close, dave takes an active interest in the things darren likes, he’s supportive and cares about darren’s comfortability and cares about loving him more than anything else, even veronica. and olice can look back on her life before dave and darren and think how she was content with crumbs from her mother; veronica only wanted olice around when she could brag about her or show her off, then toss her to the side when she didn’t want to deal with her. no interest in olice outside of how she looked being a “strong woman raising a kid on her own” when as far as olice knows from her mother’s own words, her bio dad wanted to be there for her. meeting dave and seeing his relationship with darren has made olice much more bitter and resentful of her mother but the only reason she hasn’t tried to push her and dave breaking up is because she doesn’t want to lose what she considers her real family and father figure. olice is sure that one day she’s either gonna have to cut contact with her mother, or her mother’s going to abandon her. and i won’t tell you which one, but this roadtrip proves one of those theories right. :)

also to be said, veronica isn’t a traditionally abusive person towards olice—not physically or even verbally. what olice goes through is more akin to my own relationship with my mother growing up, where it’s more neglectful and about not being seen or not being emotionally valued versus being physically taken care of. i don’t call it “abuse” in the book specifically just because i have a hard time thinking of what i went through as abuse myself but it definitely Hurts and is unhealthy and that’s what i want to get at irregardless. all of this to say, as an aside, this is something i always knew but never talked about but veronica and olice’s relationship vs darren and dave’s has always been olice is who i am and veronica is who my mother was (in an exaggerated, less religious way) and darren is who i wished i was and dave was who i wished my mother was 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

VERONICA: this is sort of a roundabout, 2-part answer, but she hates being seen as both “the other woman” and as “poor” — and basically both of those answers circle around into an inferority complex. with the first, it stems off of her insecurities when it comes to being with dave, and as much as i love dave to death and am somewhat uncharitable to veronica (because of darren really 🤷🏽‍♂️) i do *understand* where she’s coming from. you should never be made to feel “not good enough” in a relationship; and it’s hard to tell where the divide is for dave Specifically makes her feel that way (though not necessarily intentionally; hurt people hurt people etc etc) or if this is a particular Complex that she projects onto him. but the fact of the matter is, all of the things about their relationship, she has pretty much had to pursue herself. she met dave at an event, and she took a liking to him. she approached him, flirted, got his number, text incessantly until he agreed to a date, then two, and constantly made their plans, and was even the one to ask him to be exclusive. dave was very very passive in a lot of this, and when she was under the assumption that his former partner/baby mama (liz) was dead, it became easy for her to justify her actions. dave was grieving and clearly had been for too long, and she just wanted to get him out of his shell—he was too handsome and too kind to be alone for the rest of his life, in her opinion (not that it’s really her call to make, but i digress). she was only giving him permission to be himself again! and in some ways she is correct, wallowing over liz for the rest of his life certainly isn’t healthy, and dave on some level is aware of that, which is why he sort of… went along with everything regarding veronica. and they had a healthy relationship Before she found out that liz was actually still alive, and dave was just still in love with her. now, ngl, im not 100% sure how she finds this out; bc dave certainly doesn’t talk about liz that often if he can avoid it, not even with his own son, so like hell is he going to talk about it to the new woman he’s seeing (he’s just that kind of guy). all i Do know is that it was several years into their relationship, and around the time that she and her daughter olice moved in with darren and dave. and when she found this out, she was fucking livid honestly. what does this woman who Left You when you needed her most have that EYE, a present, loving, caring partner, don’t? so anytime she and dave had a spat, anytime she clashed with darren or anything went wrong, she became more and more bitter. convinced that she would always be a second fiddle to this woman she’d never met. and the worst part is, she is Partially proven right when liz finally does enter the picture and suddenly dave and liz have more sparks and chemistry than she (in her mind) feels like she and dave have. and this could potentially be because liz is darren’s mother and veronica has never taken an interest in dave’s son the way that he has wholly embraced being a father to olice, but in her micro-defense, darren has never wanted a mom in general, let alone a new one 🤷🏽‍♂️ ANYWAY though, all of this sort of stems from her childhood (as many traumas do) especially in comparing herself unfairly to her sister, cynthia—unfortunate because cynthia adores her and they’re thick as thieves but to veronica cynthia was always the sister who got what she wanted. she was beautiful, the belle of their hometown, grauated with honors, went to college and found a man who was head over heels for her and who spoils her like crazy, has a big happy family, is Rich…. and what does veronica have to show for her life? she got pregnant on a missions trip and abandoned the father, she never finished college, failed relationship after failed relationship where on more than one occasion she’s been “the other woman” … it’s too much! and no matter how much dave assures her that he has no plans of getting back with liz, the man can’t look at her and say he loves her even after ten years together. SO!!!!

[narwhalandchill]

hsr 2.1 kit leaks

ok idk how but even w the preliminary aventurine kit leaks i didnt register before seeing a comment on how he would actually just shred in herta+himeko FUA teams for PF too and im just? obsessed actually i Love this

like PF is already in that weird place where sustains are kinda good still but kinda useless but aventurine being an actual FUA sub dps in addition to his shielding is just? so fucking good and will go so well with the never ending follow up after follow up death spiral that himeko and herta inherently bring to PF it should be a massacre 💀💀 i cant wait

anyway his kit looks sick i rly love how its designed. ACTUAL sub dps potential in a sustain finally 😭😭 and how much crit rate (40%) he gets just from reaching 3600 def is just? so delicious. obviously the fact that he will want crit, def, spd and possibly eff res too means you kinda need to invest hard into his build to rly get the most out of him but i love that blonde fucker so. yeah ill commit. i farmed my ass off for my fu xuan to be as stacked as she is i Will do it again 🫡🫡

the eff res hes giving to the team is actually massive too ?? CC immunity to himself when his passive effect is up? shields on skill no ult dependency and shield stacking on teammates being attacked and FUAs (and like. hes not dependent on FUA teams lmao its just going to boost him) just like that???

AND hes fast as fuck somehow like what 😭😭😭😭 bro looks stacked as hell i hope he stays strong. aventurine with that 106 speed rly out there running from the consequences of his antics 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️💀

anyway wow im hype for this bastard i Cannot wait for his animations

as for acheron im. somewhat interested? but not like too pressed abt it for now. her stacking mechanic seems interesting and ive already seen the asset leaks for her red ultimate state (which is like 700% better than her base design) but if you only see that design for a v short time idk how much itll motivate me to get her.

the lack of LC options definitely hurts like. all i realistically have for her is s3 GNSW but thats on kafka rn. ig if i got acheron i prolly wouldnt be running them at the same time but its still food for thought ig

also she really copied neuvillettes homework for that nihility team passive HSJSJSKSKF idk how i feel abt it like w our current cast it kinda feels pretty tricky to genuinely get a strong team going for an actual max stack team for acheron. like run her with pela and what? guinaifen? ig we will see what shes all abt

ig i just dont feel as much of an incentive for a lightning dps for now w kafka but eh i might go for acheron still. i do have a guarantee tho so it might be nice to save it for aventurine straight up bc then i could maybe go for his LC since it gets him even more sub dps potential but who knows

ig only gripe w aventurine (which isnt that big of deal rly) is the current lack of FUA charas like idm building ratio eventually even having daniel (and them having such heavy synergy is very funny. renheng could never 💀) n i could see myself maybe getting topaz even if im not a huge fan of her character (tho i do think shes well written; my mixed feelings r a result of her being complex) but idk. i hope we get more leaks for upcoming FUA charas.

obviously theres xueyi but her FUAs arent That frequent and unironically i wouldnt Want someone like aventurine w his likely frequent FUAs on her team eating away the toughness bar from her so itd only really work against enemies who are quantum weak but not imaginary. but worth thinking abt still. at least herta n himeko will be a guaranteed PF synergy for him so thats hype

and most important of all: def mainstat with double crit we are so back. relics with double crit that half rolled into def we are so back. etc etc etc

[halftheway]

hiii i just reread like the entirety of open arms and i really really love it. I'm really excited to see where walk towards love goes and i know it will have a happy ending, but i'm really feeling anxious for them right now. I really enjoy the way you write slimecicle, and i just think theyre really neat.

AUGH THANK U i'm so glad u like my weird lil world... esp the way i write charlie bc i consider that to be one of my biggest weak points💀 his character is just so wonderful and weird & i can never tell if i'm doing him justice but i'm happy ppl seem to enjoy oa!charlie. i know they're In The Woods rn but the end is near! there's like two chapters of Ouch left and then things will start picking back up do Not worry. i like torturing ny blorbos as much as the next guy but this series was always intended to be a safe place for them to be Happy so they'll get there eventhally!

[anitaaaaasugggarr]

LAST CHALLENGE! 🦋

Well, I want to try my last challenge of the YEAR! From the 26th to 31st of December

My goal is to fast 5 days, and at least eat 300 calories depending on the day:

Thursday (12/26): Red Bull 210 cals + 3 slip 0 cals :( Burned 1,500 cals

(GW:140.00) (W: Unknown)

Friday (12/27): Mint tea 0 cals + Red Bull sugar free 20 cals (bad habit 0 cals + 2 slip 0 cals) = 20 cals. Burned 1,452 cals

(GW:138) = (W:145.0)

Saturday (12/28) : (bad habits 0 cals)

(GW:143) = (CW: 141.2)

Sunday (12/29): I jusy started my period 🙂 I feel so weak rn and I have to go to work… I had some Mexican food, got around 1,000 cals :(

(GW:140) = (CW: 141.2)

Monday (12/30) : Red Bull normal 160 cals + 2 shots of tequila 194 cals; total 354 💀 Burned 2,063 cals 😭❤️

(GW: 139) = (CW: Unknown) bc I'm on my period I got so bloated and yesterday I ate so I'm scare to weigh myself :(

Tuesday (12/31) : I'm really disappointed because I ended the year with 140.2 instead of 135. 😔

(GW: 135.00) = (CW:140.2)

[rambosgirl]

I can’t stop thinking about that one month this year when my class was required to go to a course to a diffrent school so we lived in a boarding school and let me say this was the UNHEALTHIEST month of my life😭😭 this was our first time living alone on a longer term so we were in charge of buying our food….i remember there were days when me and my friends would exclusively only eat sweets💀 i also exclusively only ate carrots for two days and wondered why am i feeling so weak lately😍😍😍

that sounds like my life rn at college. I at least try to make healthy meals, but it doesn't always work

and I do the same thing with water, something SO accessible but I literally forget I need it to survive -_- (or I only want flavored water bc water on its own is boring flavored)

[cassandralexxx]

L+ratio (ie ignore this unless u want to read a vent post 💀)

Idk man I wake up every day deeply unsatisfied. I feel so discomforted and disconnected in my own skin. Like I hurt; all I do is hurt. I wake up and the first thing I notice is my legs feel sore. Like first I notice my thighs and then I’m like ok I should move drink some water and then I realize my calf/lower legs also feel tight activated and overused. And I’m like well shit that sucks. So say I don’t end my quest there and just go back to sleep say I go to sit up drink some water or maybe go to the bathroom. Boom my hand joints hurt. Also lifting my phone rn is so heavy. And it’s like this is so lame. My condition yeah causes muscle weakness but this isn’t weakness it’s muscle lack of endurance. Like ok girl u can do something But Only Once.

side bar I have been so nauseous lately. It’s so bad man it’s like god wants me to throw up or something. I don’t want to throw up that’s so icky gross (I have already vommed twice this month) (once was just a little amount into my sink that disappeared real nice and easy and the other time was prolonged into my toilet) I am NOT having a good time. Another part of this side bar is as I was typing I decided to stretch my legs ie not have them scrunched and that was so uncomfortable.

anyways let’s see let’s pretend you’re my rheumatologist so I can try formulating ny words.

hey I’m doing well how are you. Honestly I have not been doing good lately. I think the increase dose of aza has made me slightly less fatigued but overall my quality of life has not been great. Like tiredness is getting vetting but I am still tired a lot of the time. But I’m still in pain almost constantly. Some times the pain is more at a background level like a 2 but a lot of the time it is at a higher level. Typically when I wake up my thighs feel really bad like that’s the first thing I notice when I wake up and the I realize that my calf muscles also feel like sore. I still have joint pain in my hands but that’s more of if I open and close my hands. I have noticed that the way I’ve been feeling in regards to my health has been limiting the way I live my daily life. My health has affected me both socially and scholastically. I have skipped on going out for the majority of the more recent social events my sorority has had as well as things I’m required to go to. Like I skipped out on going to volunteer at the 5k my sorority helps with bc I woke up that morning tired and in pain and also nauseous. This seems like the time to note that I have been more nauseated lately, which is an unappealing feeling. Like I’ve thrown up twice this month and have like really felt like I was going to vomit other times lately. Circling back I was hoping there was a medication or something that could help my treatment to lower my pain levels. Because I have been taking aleves like nearly every day not every day but nearly and while it’s otc I don’t want to be reliant on pain medication just to not feel pain. Like they help dampen a lot of the pain but like I still feel trace amounts of pain which can be really frustratibg. Like being in pain has made it incredibly hard for me to focus this past semester. Like when I’m in class I sit towards the from t but anytime i would adjust in my seat it would feel really bad like actively grimace levels of discomfort. It’s like I wouldn’t say the actual levels of pain are that awful but they are constantly on my mind and make it hard to focus on quite literally anything else. While I wouldn’t say that I’ve been experiencing muscle weakness there has been an increasingly lack in ebdurance. It’s harder to do things u was able to do before and things are overall more tired. This is a lame example but I’ve decided to “retire” my doc martens for this season because I get so tired wearing them. They are heavy shoes but still. Anyways was wondering two things: one being I really haven’t been handling being in pain so constantly all that well, I feel like since I’m less tired/not asleep as much I’m just feeling pain for longer periods so I was wondering if you knew of any therapists or something in (our city) because I feel like I’m kind of shutting down and I figured that maybe a professional could help me deal with my reality better. And two since my health has been causing me to struggle with my focus I did poorly in a couple of my classes this semester. I just wasn’t able to focus effectively and do my work to the quality it needs to be so I was considering doing a medical petition for those courses to be marked with a MW so that my gpa and scholarship won’t be too affected. It’s similar to what I had done my first year at uni. I was wondering if you could sign off on the letter saying that I have health problems. Thank you for your help with everything have a nice day

Ok purrr ur my rheumatologist simulator has ended

now that that’s over on to my other complaints in life. Once again my hair, my meds causing hair loss two year ago had made my hair a texture nightmare. Like 2/3 are straight and a third is frfr curly. I hate it sm I want to kms. Like it feels so disgusting. I hate this mixture of textures if it was all curly slay if it was all my regular hair more slay. I’m so pissed bc I used to love my hair it used to be one of my pride points in appearance now it’s annoying and fucking ugly and hard to deal with. And my other complaint is that I’ve gained weight and look bad now. Some times I can slay but overall I looked in the mirror this morning and was just upset. And since I wince so much lately I have like wince lines which feel accentuated with how I’ve gained weight in my face. And I’m so pissed off and sad

anyways yeah this has been a post of me being dissatisfied with life xoxo

[sugars-fluffy-escapes]

pspspsps

do you have any hc's for Eddie "The Ler" Munson finding out Y/N's worst tickle spot is their feet?

My lee brain is buzzing w the possibilities-

The way I just had to tuck my feet under my blanket while reading this??? ANON??? JESUSHCHRIST ⚰️🏃🏽‍♀️ (/lh /p) Hcs under the cut because my lee mood self is feeling rambly now ☺️ 🖤

Okay- so, we know that whenever Eddie "The Ler" Munson finds out someone's ticklish, he's gonna have a fuckin field day finding their weak spots, but ohhhh holy shit, is he gonna have a field day if he finds out your feet are your weakest spots.

The first time he finds out, he's gonna get such an impish little smirk on his face. You know how with ticklish spots there are certain smaller ticklish spots within those that are even worse??? Yeah- like with every other weak spot of yours Eddie knows about, he's finding those- He's mentally mapped out every ticklish spot you have, so of course he's finding them 🫢

Okay- I'm feeling brave rn despite how flustered this is making me, so I'll ramble in depth. Eddie's more inclined to use teases that revolve around you being helpless and "unable to escape your tickle-filled destiny" when he gets a spot that renders you defenseless, so I wish you luck if your feet are your most ticklish spots /lh

HE USES THE STUPID (<3) SPIDER TEASE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE HE KNOWS IT WORKS AND HE GETS SO SMUG ABOUT HOW IT GETS YOU EVERY TIME HE DOES IT. Eddie Munson's electric guitar playing self knows exactly how to make his fingers move like a spider and I'm now having to tuck my feet under my blanket while typing this- (MY FEET ARE ALREADY UNDER THE BLANKET 😭 I'M TUCKING THEM IN THE BLANKET AGAIN AGSHDHDHDJ) He'll start spider-walking his hands closer and will act like he wasn't doing anything when you call him out or tuck your legs close to you. But then, when you least expect it, he's gonna snatch your ankles and pull you down the couch so he can tickle you senseless. 🫣

You know the trope of a ler using one friggin finger for tickling a weak spot? 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️ He'll do that while giving you a tickle villain monologue because he is a NERD <3

Guitar. Picks. He uses those (on every weak spot but he'll be a complete supervillain with this spot. (No bc a tumblr moot told me that there are these guitar picks called finger picks??? AND- THEY LOOK TERRIFYING? (/hj /lh) AHSHSHDHDHF- I absolutely do NOT have a whole note filled with hcs about the "Guitar Pick Apocalypse /s) Knowing Eddie he's probably got at least one ring with a claw shape and he's going to taunt you with it- asshole 🥰

Eddie "Tickle Villain Monologue" Munson uses one friggin finger pick and speaks annoyingly slowly/draws out his words. Don't expect anything to distract him from tickling you either. He'll have your ankles in the crook of his elbow and will spider-tickle your weak spots while casually having a conversation with Steve 🪦 /lh

Trying to watch a movie? Don't rest your legs across his because the first spot he'd target is your feet. And then he'll have the nerve to tell you to pay attention to the damn movie when he's the one tickling a death spot. Eddie's strong and if he ever catches your ankles in the crook of his elbow you'll be stuck like that for a while 💀

Ohdeargod- (I am army crawling my way to finishing these hcs because I'm flustered and hiding my feet under my own legs AND a blanket 🥴 Haaaaaa- there's a reference there) Angry!Ler!Eddie is gonna be your absolute DOOM (<3) if your feet are your death spots. Mock sympathy + laughing/smiling angrily + ruthlessness = rest easy cause you'll be laughing yourself to death /j

The scary thing about this spot/spots, is that Eddie doesn't even look to see where on your foot he's tickling. He knows 🫢⚰️🏃🏽‍♀️ /lh

And now I conclude the hcs with this gif because it sends me spiraling into a major lee mood and whatever you do don't imagine that he's wrestling your hands away and catching your ankles before he tickles you 🥴

Anon I'm in such a lee mood rn OMFG AGSHSHDHFHRJTJ How dare you- /lh /j /p

Thank you for the brainrot it made me giddy 😖🥴❤️ /gen /p

~ Ushu 💙

[meowzfordayz]

sickness/health

Author’s Note: Tanjirou = 👌🏽

sickness/health

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: none

Emergency Request Fulfilled: hello ;; i'm very new to tumblr so forgive me if i'm getting this wrong somehow- but i've been dealing with a lot of health issues lately, and i was wondering if you'd be up for writing a fic with tanjirou and a nonbinary reader? where he takes care of them throughout their health issues (muscle pains and aches, weakness, headaches, heart palpitations), hums them to sleep when they can't manage, helps them stand, washes their hair, etc? thank you, i hope i'm doing this right ;;

~faqs~

Writing hcs bc my goodness this weekend’s heat has me lethargic and blarrrgh and vwygfuiwnwbibw lmao, buuut I still wanna write !! 🥵😵‍💫🤗

Also, just a friendly reminder (I promise this is a general reminder *not* directed toward anyone !!) that emergency request fanfics are typically shorter than my usual fanfics bc they’re (emergency requests) bumped to the front of my wips queue

In other words, to balance the fact that I prioritize them, I don’t necessarily write as much for them either

Muscle aches and pains

At the first sign of any discomfort, Tanjirou offers his touch

Gentle fingers circling your shoulders; tender thumbs pressing firmly into your neck; warm palms rubbing delicately along your ribs

Oftentimes, you don’t even have to ask

Subconsciously massaging your stomach?

Grimace, wince, or frown?

Exhale a little too loudly?

He’ll notice in a heartbeat, make his way to your side, and murmur, “Can I help?”

Doesn’t initiate contact tho w/o your consent (unless you’ve consented to him initiating w/o asking first)

If you’re not one for touch, then he’s happy to bring you ice packs, heated packs — whatever temperature tickles your fancy

Keeps track of medications (i.e. ibuprofen) for you

Weakness

Def the type to go overboard in assisting you, but never intends to be belittling or overbearing

Best to just have an honest convo w/ him about what you might want and need help w/

Outline what he can do for you on good, okay, and bad days

He’s just such a sweetheart, and will coddle you as much or as not much as you desire — leaning toward much if you don’t discuss boundaries beforehand

Believes you 100% whenever you tell him I need help

Doesn’t ever assume you’re taking advantage or exaggerating

Nor is he ever bothered by anyone badgering him for caring for you so diligently

“Isn’t it t e d i o u s?”

“No,” he’ll state with finality, tone leaving no room for further argument or harassment, “Loving them is a choice, and I will always choose them.”

Headaches

Serenades you (Tanjirou’s canonically tone deaf lmao) 💀

Again: keeps track of medications (i.e. ibuprofen) for you

As well as how much you’re drinking !! #hydration is key

Will drink w/ you in solidarity

Bc drinking water can be a struggle

Reads to you, goes on walks w/ you, prepares baths for you

Simple pleasures—activities—to hopefully distract you

If your headache’s really bad, then he’ll darken the bedroom, lay in bed beside you, and reassure you as many times as necessary that, “It’s okay to just lie in bed. It’s okay to be here. To be with me. Okay?”

Heart palpitations

Ngl

Idk a lot about these, and I don’t feel like researching ‘em rn 😅

But dw !!

Tanjirou would def feel like researching them for you 😁

And do what he can to ease/observe their symptoms/affects 🥺

Can’t sleep

Lets you arrange the bed however you please

No pillows? Five pillows?

Two blankets? Seven?

Sleep on your side? Back? Diagonally? Upside down?

W/ music or the tv on? No noise at all?

Fan whirling in the middle of winter? Comforter at the end of the bed in the middle of summer?

Whatever coaxes you to sleep, Tanjirou’s willing to tolerate

“Tan?” you whisper softly, voice tinged sour with guilt

“Hm?” he rasps immediately, strong arm snaking carefully around your waist, pulling himself closer to you, eyes barely open, “Bad dream?”

“No,” you sigh quietly, grabbing onto his hand, tucking it into your chest, “Can’t sleep.”

“Ah,” he nods slowly, kissing lightly behind your ear, “Want me to do the thing?”

“The thing?” you stifle a sleepy giggle

Low humming caresses your skin in response, time stilling for a languid moment, rhythmic rise and fall of his body curled against yours lulling you into security

If he waits until faint tendrils of dawn illuminate your hair—for you to truly, deeply, fall asleep—then he doesn’t mention it

HeLp he’s so precious 😭

Washing hair

Adores preparing baths for you

Bubbles, salts, oils

Tanjirou def goes on weekly excursions to local farmers’ markets or whatnot to stock up on handmade, independently crafted supplies

Remembers allergies, sensitivities, preferences — has yet to buy something that’s irritated you (as in, your body/skin)/that you’ve disliked

Took trial and error for him to master washing your hair, but nowadays you swear he could get a job at a celebrity salon or something

Your hair seems happier being washed by him ??

Shinier, fewer split ends, can go longer between washes

Altho perhaps that’s bc he uses fancy products…

“Smells good,” you smile tiredly, “New shampoo?”

“Not exactly,” he chuckles fondly, “Bought this a few months ago.”

“I love it.”

He loves it too

Loves how you melt under his ministrations, tension in your spine dissipating ever so slightly; the sweet, flickering scent of your contentment mingling with the lingering calmness of the rose tinted bath water

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello ! This is pukey Saeyoung anon.

I’m comin off anon bc honestly that shit is too much work. Pretty sure being sick this long has fried any last sense of inhibition or shame in my brain and I think everyone deserves to know how much I love Saeyoung smh. The extent to which that is my Mans. I will publicly gush if I so please. 😤😤

Plus! I’m pleased to report that I haven’t actually thrown up in about two weeks! So like. Hashtag recovery life I guess. 💀

But that’s what I came here to update you about. :’D

I feel like I kinda left you with a cliffhanger there with the whole bone cancer thing. (If it makes you feel any better, the hospital did too 👁👄👁)

November was very much,,, a terrible horrible no good very bad type of month. I spent nearly two weeks waiting for them to get back to me about my dumb bone marrow autopsy only for them to cancel my appointment last minute. And in the meantime I was just getting sicker and sicker… I ended up in and out of the hospital again a couple times,, but by the third time I was scared to go back bc the second time I went they didn’t even admit me overnight. They basically just charged me $700 to take a four hour nap. And cha boy doesn’t have that kinda money. 😭

But it got to the point that I really physically couldn’t take it anymore… I have never been in so much pain and discomfort in my entire life. Which unfortunately with the life I’ve had,, that’s a high ass bar lmao.

And it was just CONSTANT… I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t look at any screens. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stand. I was literally too weak to even pull a blanket up over myself. I literally was spending every night sobbing/shivering/barfing myself to sleep. It was baaaaaaad.

Luckily my roommate at this point had probably started to get annoyed by hearing me crying from pain all night and was like “dude I’m taking you to the hospital again”

And my third hospital visit !! They FINALLY gave me an answer as to wtf is going on!

Good news is…? Not bone cancer. I don’t have to enter my Deadpool era Quite yet.

Bad news…? Apparently I’ve got fuckin Lupus 🤡

Which is super cute and fun because,, you know. Incurable lifelong chronic illness. I’m literally gonna be dealing with this shit for the rest of my life. :)

But like. It’s a perfectly livable disease. As long as it’s, you know. Actually being taken care of and treated. Which I now have enough info to actually do haha.

(Hit the self-loathing so hard that even my own fuckin immune system was like, oh shit we gotta take this bitch DOWN 💀)

I’m soooo glad to be home and back from the hospital… but it’s been very strange too. I’m still really sick and I can’t really do much on my own and,,, my brain physically doesn’t know how to process being like,, taken care of. Honestly it kinda sets off alarm bells in my brain 😳 but I’ve had to accept pretty damn quickly that,, I don’t really have a choice rn. I’m so used to just being on my own pushing through all my pain and just. Waiting till it goes away on its own. But if I do that in this case… the pain will just get worse and my body will quite literally shut down on me and I will literally die. Sooooo like,,,, 🤡 I guess maybe I can stand to be taken care of for at least a little while.

Doc says with all the damage that’s been done to my organs and stuff this past year, they caught it early enough that the damage is reversible. But I need to undergo a really strict recovery treatment,, and they estimate it’ll be at least 18 months before I’m able to get back to my ~normal healthy baseline~. Which is insane… like am I really gonna be out here living like a sickly hermit for a damn year and a half?? I’m gonna keep feeling better, I know. And I’ll slowly be able to do more again. But I can’t go back to my job. It was causing me waaay too much physical and mental strain. :( so that’s gonna be fun to figure out.

They also put me on literally 12 new medications when I left the hospital to help control my symptoms. Each of which I have to take 1-3 times a day. So that’s super exciting. Love a big bowl of pills for breakfast every morning.

It was torture at first because I hate swallowing pills. But it’s been about a week and I’m honestly getting used to it already. And better yet? Even after only a week… they’re noticeably helping my symptoms… and I’m actually starting to be able to do things again… I *almost* feel like, 60% of a normal human person again,,, maybe even 65%! I’m slowly starting to regain my appetite finally… and I can do little things again… like play the new Pokémon game, or watch anime, or draw, or call a friend on the phone. Which… god what a relief 😭 words cannot describe how good it feels to be able to do those things again… frankly,, it was traumatic having to spend the last few months watching my body physically deteriorate in real time… so now that I’m starting to feel like myself again, if only a little. I’m like. Hey?? I actually love myself so much???? I think I’m a pretty cool fun interesting person. Thank GOD I’m making a comeback 😭😭

Saeyoung of course has been a great source of comfort for me throughout all of this… he always is one of my biggest sources of comfort in life… literally even just imagining him being in the same room as me is enough to put me more at ease…

When things were at their worst a big part of how I dealt with shit was vividly daydreaming about making up silly stories with Saeyoung to distract me. This is something I’ve done for years when I’m too upset or stressed to sleep,,, it’s been a reliable source of comfort for me for a hot minute. But it’s never gotten to this extent haha.

We have a whole ass story going,, I’m actually starting to get pretty attached to the story and the characters… which is stupid AF because it’s literally just. Me and Saeyoung Choi as fantasy self-inserts wherein he’s a court jester and I’m a knight and we’re going on a quest to ~find a cure for my mysterious illness~

But a part of me is like 🥺🤔 what if I actually wrote the story tho? Lmaoooo

Amongst other coping mechanisms and distractions,,, I’ve also been falling HARD into my online shopping addiction. But also, idk, can you blame me…? I’m a material gowrl at heart and I haven’t been able to go shopping in person for months 😔😔 I need little treats to get me through the day.

Mostly I’ve been spending an UNGODLY amount of money on plushies. Like… idk if I could count them and I don’t even wanna THINK about the prices fhdhdjd-

Mostly Pokémon and Sanrio characters. But a few other random critters as well.

And tbh?? I don’t regret a single purchase. They’ve literally all helped me feel more comfortable and joyful these past couple months, which I’ve really needed. So, even if my bed is starting to look RIDICULOUS from sheer volume of plushies…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m living my best life

A few days ago I got a giant charmander plushy… and like. Ordinarily I’m not even the biggest fan of charmander (shut UP ABOUT CHARIZARD GAMEFREAK. IM OVER IT. GEN 1 IS POPULAR WE GET IT)

But I swear to god this young man is changing my life. It may be the softest squishiest most huggable plush I’ve ever encountered. I’ve been carrying him almost everywhere,,, starting to feel like the “ahh yes. Me, my partner, and their life sized mareep plushy” meme for real 💀💀

((How do you think Saeyoung would feel about me turning our bed into a literal mountain of plushies? Or having to compete for attention with my charmander? Hehe. ))

THERES ONLY ONE MORE THING I WANTED TO SAY…

If you’re actually taking the time to read all of this,,, holy shit thank you. And thank you for providing lonely bitches like me this outlet c’: to be able to talk… and share comfort… and express our deep love for these characters without fear of judgement. It’s really just such a lovely blog and I can never thank you enough.

But the last topic I wanted to touch on!!!

Ugh,,, I read your answer to the ask about Saeyoung with an MC into pastel goth fashion and…

That made me so happy 😭😭❤️❤️

I love fashion,,, so much. Truly one of my greatest joys in life is getting into a really cool fun outfit and strutting around Knowing that I’m cool as fuck and I look like a sexy badass 😤😤 it’s simply the most powerful feeling.

Love when I’m wearing an outfit I know looks fire and I can’t stop smirking haha.

And I just,,, love being flamboyant and silly and having fun with it. I’m 100% the type of person to walk into a store and go “this is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. The colors and patterns are such a mess they’re practically nauseating. I NEED IT.”

I have a collection of tacky button up shirts that could probably blind a man lmao. And JACKETS?? Don’t get me started on jackets. Boots,,, cargo pants,,, earrings,,, big colorful sunglasses. Ugh. <3

Since I’ve been so sick I haven’t been putting much effort into my appearance. My outfits were so joyless for a while… and then, well. I’ve spent the last month and a half wearing exclusively Pajamas and Hospital Gowns 😭

Considering that my main fashion inspirations ordinarily fall somewhere between Elton John, Lil nas x, and Jojo’s bizarre adventure…

Quite the glow down haha

I don’t think I realized fully how much I missed that until I read your ask…

You inspired me to go looking for some fun new clothes online. And now I’m feeling so excited and impatient for them to get here because I can’t remember the last time I got to put together a fun outfit… I actually wanna like,, get up and get dressed for the first time in so long c’: if only to waltz around my apartment a little bit and take a few selfies.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to my FULL level of glamour,, my inflammation is still pretty bad so my face and body are kinda weird and swollen and lumpy right now 🥴 and again,,, standing and walking are still very much a challenge. Idk if I could wear heels right now haha I’m wobbly enough on my feet already.

But I can’t wait to get back into it…

Like you were saying in that ask too… another part of why I love fashion defs has to do with my gender expression… and I LOVE LOVE LOVE when people bring that up with Saeyoung 😭 it always makes me grin and fills me with so much adoration to think about Sae getting to have fun and experience that euphoria with clothing and fashion as well… and especially the thought of us getting to do it together….? c’:

Literally a concept that is SO important and special to me 😭❤️❤️

Idk what kinda wonky matching outfits we’d be putting together but I know that we would look so fuckin cool and hot 😤😤 and best of all we could have so much fun. Which… tbh, there’s nothing more I could ask for in life.

Plus of course,,, there’s always the added fun of self indulgently getting to imagine Saeyoung admiring and complimenting me on my fashion :’D and like,,, thinking I’m cool or whatever 😭

Anyways! Those are all the things I wanted to say.

If you’re still reading this,, //what’s wrong with you bahaha I’m such a rambly mess

But like. Thank you. And deadass if this is too long to read or respond to feel free to leave it in your inbox or just delete it.

Honestly it was just really nice to be able to type out all these thoughts just to sorta. Get it out and decompress, ya know…? c’:

I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day.

While I am happy to hear that you have a better understanding of what's going on in your life, I'm sorry you're going through this transitional time when you discover that you have chronic illness. That has to be the most difficult time for a lot of people. You have to make a lot of adjustments and make changes that you may not be happy with to make sure that you're taken care of. I empathize and understand this because I deal with multiple chronic illnesses. If you ever need a safe space to vent about it, this is always a safe spot. Whether you want it to be posted or not, you can always scream into the inbox.

I hope you don't beat yourself up over the new limitations and changes that are coming into your life. It'll be hard for a little while to get used to everything. But it'll be okay. I can't promise that it'll be easy in the long run. This journey is a lot different for everybody. I think what helps when you feel lonely and isolated in that regard, is to find comfort in the things that make you happy and if that is this video game, then I'm glad that you have it. It's been there for me through all of my experiences so I'm also grateful for it.

I know what it feels like to be lonely and afraid. Having my blog like this... it’s a place where I’m able to help everyone’s dream. It’s simple, it’s small, but I know even the smallest response of “Yes, your favorite character would do this for you today!” means the world to someone on their worst day. I hope that you’re able to find some spoons to dress up and feel good very soon. It’s hard to find a good day sometimes, but you’ll have soon, I’ll cross my fingers for you.

Imagine that, I mean, imagine Saeyoung gushing over you because you found the energy to get up and show off your new outfit. There’s dazzling sparkles in his eyes as he looks at you. His hands are pressed to his mouth, and he looks like he’s going to keel over in delight. He’s absolutely enamored and in love with the sight of you. “You’re so handsome! I can’t take it! I’m in the presence of the best lover! I think I’m the luckiest boyfriend in the world!” Cue him pretending to faint before you ask him if he’s getting dressed, too.

That’s when he springs back up: “Wait, wait, wait, I’ve got the perfect dress that’ll match this. I’ll even let you pick my hair style for the day!”

[gremlin-elrics]

Hi, Jazzy. What’s the thing you didn’t like about the forest scene? Or what thing you would like to change or add?

hi anon!

i mean OTHER THAN TAKING AWAY HANGES BLUSH 💀💀💀

i think the main thing that got me was how… fast it all happened. it just felt like we didn’t really have time to breathe and take in the situation with levi and hange - but especially with hange. in the manga you really get the sense of hange’s distress. so much bullshit is happening and it has completely spiralled out of control and as commander of the scouts hange personally feels responsible for a lot of it AND with that on top of literally having to kill their own comrades to just fucking survive their predicament is really weighing down on hange.

now this also could just be based on personal interpretation of how i saw things when i read the forest scene (even before shipping levi and hange mind you) but,,, when hange is speaking to levi, not only did it feel very distressed (almost like venting to the person you’re closest to) but hange also just seemed very defeated. ready to just throw it all away and live in the forest together with levi…….. i…..didn’t really get the same levels of distress and defeat from hange in the whole exchange in the anime mostly because it was so gotdamn fast. and it just felt so much more intimate and sweet in the manga because of the fact that after go go go rumbling fighting titan time woahhhh - we slowed things down to check in with levi and hange and there was this soft moment between these two hurting people where they are able to be completely vulnerable with each other - but also show how they understand each other so well. levi knows that hange would never be able to sit still and live in blissful ignorance in the forest with him, KNOWING that there is absolute hell going on beyond them and it is their responsibilities as soldiers and leaders to fight. so after hange’s moment of weakness levi just tells them straight up: “hange, i know you. you cant stay out of the action.” and hanges soft gaze and knowning eyes (and blush when they realized levi heard them saying they wanted to run away and live with him in the forest which was cut from the anime but whatever) as they tell him “no, you’re right. i can’t.” just felt so!!!! so sweet, so good in the manga and it is BECAUSE it took the time to slow things down.

the forest scene in the anime was just so vroom vroom speedy hi im hange oops i killed my comrades thats sad yo levi im sewing up your face rn and also shit sucks rn yeah? yeah- oh shit eren doings what!?!? and levi was like hi im levi im awake i fucked up wheres the monkey also hange we gotta fight and hange was like oh shit ya youre right cool ➡️ QUEUE INTRO 🔥🔥🔥 like ?? kdnskdnxksk it was still FINE it was still GOOD but it just didnt hit the same. if i were to change one thing it would just be…. slow that shit DOWN bro 😫.

but yes. i mean whatever, we still have the og source material from the manga and it doesn’t rly matter what anyone says or how anything is portrayed in the anime bc im still going to ship levihan because i just love their dynamic and i think they’d be adorably perfect and cute if they were a couple! levihan still winning in my heart 🤸🏽🤸🏽🔥🔥!! thanks for the ask anon!