#bc i dont know how to deal with that at the same time let's agree to not worry abt it rn

[pretend-wizard]

Personal/venty

In some ways I feel like my friends, and to a lesser extent the relatively liberal world around me given where I live, make it hard to feel like I'm a trans woman in addition to whatever else I wanna be. Like idk no one really knows or asks about my gender deal I guess but it really doesn't feel like anyone sees me as being a girl or woman or lady or whatever else, it kinda just feels like I'm seen as a sometimes feminine something, which isn't wrong but isn't really close to my heart. And I don't wanna complain about everyone I know being too accepting of me just being this nonbinary whatever all the time since I don't really present Necessarily Like A Woman basically ever afaik (though also like what does that even mean and there's no one way to do that (which also means I can't really be Too Feminine To Be A Guy which idk is part of how I reconcile my childhood with my transness)) but it means I really rarely feel recognized and it sucks

[snekdood]

i think ppl gotta get acquainted with the difference between systemic privilege and social privilege, which can overlap, but not always.

[bahrtofane]

prompt 9 trope 3 w clingy trent please

- "Stay, please?" - Fake Relationship

Word count - 1.1k+

Watch it - reader loses mind bc trent is sweet and nice what's new 

Trent but youre whole relationship is based on a lie you can't fall back on now. 

Lets paint the picture, yeah?

Mutual friend's wedding, dear old Sammy is getting married. The both of you have been invited. You haven seen Trent in a minute so you both figure you might as well go together. Cut down on carbon emissions and what not. Besides you didn't want to deal with driving in your heels and Trent wanted the company. Sweet and simple.

He picks you up right on time (he looks lovely in a suit), the ride there is filled with catching up and teasing words before you slip into a comfortable silence. He holds the door for you when you get there, and walk in looking more like a couple than the damn married couple. You do your rounds, greeting your friends when you get there before heading off to your assigned seats next to each other. You enjoy the light snacks before heading off to mingle, saying your congrats to the bride and groom. 

Your friend's grandmother comes over smiling at both of you, calling you such a cute couple. She says the next wedding better be yours. She looks so happy, hands over her heart and reminiscing about her late husband and how much you and Trent remind her of her youth.

And what are you supposed to do to crush a little old woman's dream? No. 

Instead Trent wraps an arm around your waist, bringing you close and telling her she'd be the first to get invited. 

Little did you know that everyone and their mother was watching the no more than minute long interaction go down and here you are. You can't tell your friend you lied to her grandma on her wedding day what a horrid person you are. 

Instead you and Trent agree to go along with it, fake it for a bit and then announce a mutual break up. 

Easy peasy right? Wrong !! If only you didn't have heart eyes with him to begin with. What a cruel fate you've been served. 

Each and every time he smiles and pecks your cheek in front of friends you want to scream and tell him to just date for real already. But no you can't, you won't, dont. Whatever. 

You have to live off of the quick kisses that never meet your lips and the touches that he never truly means. He's an absolute menace when it comes to physical touch. Unable to keep his hands off of you. Even when you're out of sight. He still clings to you. Hands in the back of your jeans, in the buckles and loops of your pants pulling you closer. Whenever he finds himself at your home he's always so reluctant to leave. Staying over probably many more times than needed. And it only makes your head spin.

You're doomed. Completely and utterly doomed. 

Today you're sitting at a dinner with the same group of friends at the back of a fancy restaurant while you fight your floor-length gown from riding up in your seat. Trent sits next to you. Of course he does. 

You got here together yet again. It's to make things easier to say in the back of your mind. Yeah. Not because you've gotten used to him driving you about. 

The conversations around you eventually dull to nothing more but lingering comments as plates of food finish and checks come around. 

Not a bad night you suppose.

Sammy pipes up as everyone is gathering their things, “so when's the wedding?” eyebrows wiggling. 

You wave her off, “oh I don't know we haven't really talked about that yet.”

Trent gives a nod, tucking his dress shirt neatly into the waistband of his pants,”I've been too busy with everything.”

People give sympathetic nods and you quickly shove your purse back into your bag. You say goodbye to everyone and slip an arm into Trents as you walk back to the garage. He's still a gentleman even out of sight. Holding your dress up for you as you make your way up curbs. 

“Can't believe they're asking for a wedding.” you huff. 

Trent shrugs, “could be worse.” pulling you closer against him.

You sigh,"I suppose so.”

“You look pretty.” he smiles, leading the way back to his car

“Thank you,” you turn your head away from him. Afraid he’ll catch on to just how much his words fluster you.

You reach his car soon enough, arm slipping from his grasp as he leans to open the door. You slip inside without much of a fuss. Neither of you speak for a moment when you're both buckled up. 

He sighs, putting his car into drive and heading out of the garage. Almost fighting with the ticket (it refuses to scan) and zooming out before he pops a blood vessel.

He hands you his phone and you put in your address while watching the city streets bleed by into the night. It feels good out, so you lower your window all the way down, sticking a hand out.

He smiles, mimicking you and humming softly under his breath.

“Oh shit.” you exclaim.

“What?”

“I think I left my jacket at your place. I can stop by tomorrow to get it ?”

“Nah, we’ll just stop by. Add it as a stop.”

“You sure ?” you bite your lip. Afraid of overstepping. 

“I'm sure,” he nods. 

You do so. And before you know it both of you step out onto his driveway and duck inside. You forget just how expansive the place is. Jeez.

You find the jacket tossed on his couch and you tuck it into your arm. 

“I'll see you then?” you try, voice soft. Will there be a next time 

"Stay, please," Trent's voice interrupts the heavy silence, his eyes pleading with you as if begging for a moment's respite from the chaos swirling around you.

You turn to him, feeling the weight of his words pressing against your chest. "I can't," you murmur, voice thick. "Not like this."

His expression falls, picking at his nails as you try not to feel like a bitch. 

“Then, stay but not like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like-fuck,” he scratches the back of his neck, “i dont wanna just keep pretending anymore.”

You blink. “Trent I'm not following.”

“You're so dense I want to date you and you date me for realI.” he raises his hands in exasperation. 

You blink again, hard. Unable to process anything. 

“Please say something-'' you shut him up with a swift kiss. Pawing against his dress shirt and pressing him against you. 

“Is that a good answer?” you look away, toying with the buttons around his collar. 

“Yup!” he chirps, “perfect so perfect so amazing.” melting into your touch and chasing for your lips. 

Maybe that wedding will happen after all. 

[mrspark7777777]

i love how all the km blogs have been avoiding the behind the scenes "we all live alone" question like a parasite or smthing, bc none of you are are actually confident about anything, you just dont wanna leave your fantansies or open your mind a little to other options/facts/opinions. that is not called being insecure but a person who looks at all angles. you all just dont have anything to support your thoughts so just laugh and say okay its your opinion, i dont share it or ask someone else, or some other way of diverting the question labelling all as insecure. guess everything always works out for you or you usually get what you want, so you dont need to even look at other options or think from a broader perspective. also even if some people are insecure whats it to you, to answer each of thier questions. i was always firm in my belief that though they have some special friendship they arent dating bc of so many past inconsistencies, but i have always seen km blogs find the wierdest and farthest explanations for some things to suit thier purposes. bc come on a person you are intrested in or care about as much as you all think they do or jk does, and doesnt even know about all teh content or doesnt even know that jm's face music show performances ended, srsly?! my best friends boyfriend who studies at diff university, still knows more about her even when tehy are both extremely extremely busy. Even if Jm ever says he doesn't like men or he likes women, you all will still find a hidden meaning to it.like srsly someone had to admit it that majority of the km blogs dont have any idea or reasoning behidn ehat was said to suit thier purpose and will still cling to it, by diverting the other opinions as insceure jikookers, or that we have a diff opinion, but i have not even heard that so called diff opinion. bc you all dont have one

Jimin was basically living with pdogg when creating FACE. Which clearly means he was avoiding any distractions. His boyfriend looks like this ffs.

Can we really blame the dude????

We are talking about a guy who was begging to go to Jimin's while he was half naked in bed

Surely this explains why Jimin needed to stay away, no?

JK was going through Jimin withdrawals during FACE era. Like hard. So no, I personally wasn't surprised he didn't know when Jimin's promotions ended. Not if Jimin was keeping him in the dark.

As for Jimin saying we all live alone, why is this a big deal? He does live alone. Jikook haven't cohabited since 2020? When did they stop sharing cars? That's when they stopped exclusively living in the same house. So, Jimin lives alone, wbk. They completely laid low last year and kept any time they were spending together a secret. We now know it was coz they had applied to serve together but again, idk what u want us to say here when even we agree Jimin lives alone???

Lets see, what else do you have an issue with? Inconsistencies? Nah, bro. Jikook have NEVER been inconsistent. Ever. Its the one thing they've got going. Its the biggest reason why we believe they're together. Consistency. So I've no clue what you're on about there

If Jimin ever says he has a girlfriend, I believe I speak for many Jkkrs when I say we will accept and support that. However, we shall not be blindsided, we will have picked up on the Jikook break up by then. So, this won't be happening any time soon 🤷🏽‍♀️

And yes, anon, of course we always get what we want. And we shall continue to get what we want. We don't predict, we just talk about what we expect Jikook to do or to have done because they are a couple. When those things come to fruition, then yeah, we end up getting what we wanted because of course we do. Couples are predictable. Jikook are a couple and so they do couple things. That's why is seems like we are always right.

We don't explore other options because we didn't come to the decision to support Jikook as a couple lightly. I personally looked and studied all of Jimin ships before concluding him and JK were it. So no, there is no more exploring. We believe what we believe and are quite comfortable with our decision. If you get frustrated that we refuse to be shaken, thats on you.

I think I have addressed all your concerns. Thanks for stopping by

[ganondoodle]

this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong

and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)

then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty

and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games

its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?

correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former

when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-

im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one

like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?

maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)

i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do

maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/

[redrandomposts]

hi it's me 🌦️ again uwu

i have several thoughts to offer and theyre all about r7 ivan vs luka >:DDD

first would be an alt song choice for the round. i was going through my old kpop playlist and exo's MAMA came on and i had an idea. as two of the most popular pets of the season, production would want to make as much of a spectacle out of it as possible esp since theyll be losing one of them anyways. exo's MAMA has that crowd chorus parts (idk what theyre formally called my bad) that would let the audience join in in certain parts like in blink gone. it also has that air of a hard hitting finale, all those booms and powerful vocals that are fitting for the final top 2. the lyrics about humans losing their humanity cld be mocking the apparent "lack" of humanity in ivan and luka (one considers himself 'monstrous' and the other is more segyein than human bc of how hes socialized). MAMA in the song translates to "your majesty", which is a callback to luka's "ruler of my heart", a subtle foreshadowing that the winner will always be luka no matter what.

ok now that thats outta the way, lets go back to the present >:3

HARD AGREE ON UNSHA'S WIFE TAKING IVAN TO DIFF PLANETS !!

also i had this hc where ivan develops a hobby of mapping the skies/stars ? like rapunzel in tangled owo he sends star maps from diff planets to hyuna with coded messages and not-so-subtle questions of "how is till" "how is mizi" etc lmao

hyuna : you know we could break you out and you can see for yourself

ivan : but then who would be your very important off-world scout ?

hyuna : this mf ...

though i believe at some point they will end up on the same planet together and the rebels accidentally catch a glimpse of ivan with unsha's wife ? but they wont know it's ivan immediately, theyd just have a very strong feeling of "that guy looks familiar"

hi 🌦️!

i took a listen to the song and i love it!! 100% agree!

ivan mapping stars and skies but having to simplify and do it twice (one with labels on all the stars (ex. kdj-1864), diagrams, etc, and another without all that nonsense)...

unsha's wife dressing ivan up in cute clothes!! she buys dresses, suits, maid outfits—whatever she thinks will be cute on ivan! and she takes ivan out in these costumes... and the rebellion sees them and are like "what a pampered human he disgusts me why is he sucking up to aliens does he even know what they do wrong."

meanwhile ivan sees them and tries to see if till thinks he looks cute/cool/handsome etc

and unsha's wife wants to show ivan off (aw look at my lil pet, he made the final round in alnst!), but its a breach of contract so she has ivan practice all sorts of things waiting for the day for the contract to expire..

which happens in two years. unsha's wife makes ivan become an inter-galactical idol, and the rebellion sees and till is like, "ivan needs to be saved!"

..anyways the rebel hideout becomes an ivan fanclub. i dont make the rules. official merch (all stolen, btw) is strung up on the walls and on altars. isaac and dewey are like, whats the deal with him, and hyuna reveals that he's their mysterious mapper (who she recognized when ivan's stage name, navi, is revealed).

till: whaaattt? *falls in love even harder*

its time to write this!! (...not me, though)

[ego-meliorem-esse]

Okay but why do François and Arthur keep separating if they are the only ones who understand each other that well? It's their arrogant personality? Their vicious habits and need to be correct? Bc I actually see françois more aggressive and Arthur more permissive in the end which seems to be contradictory to what I see people writing in the fruk shippers. I don't get it, no hate

Nah nah all good valid question and i do agree actually on most of what you say.

They dont separate in the traditional and common way we associate humans and human relationships with. Not fully.

Lets say they spend a vacation together. They go to the beach and drink and find bars and terorrize supermarkets during their stay. They are happy and content and a destrucrive power couple. But they are still nations and nations have more responsibilities than two moddle aged human men could ever have. So they clash on a thing or two. One takes a stab at an old phychologial wound thought healed. The other gets irritated but doesnt express it (cus emotional repression is legal apparently) and he takes a jab at the other at their weak spot. And they are irritated at each other and start to bicker bc both are too hardheaded to apologize or talk like people who didnt grow up during the middle ages. Now any small mishap irritates the other. A big fight then separation. They dont see eath other for a longer period of time after that. They might hit it off again with an old friend/enemy/lover and its fine. The problem is that François knows exactly what to say and what nerve to pick and get on it to get Arthur to react as he wants. And Arthur is too much of a sarcastic person and generally a man who enjoys a good challege which he might not get from everyone he interacts with. At least not precisely the way he likes. Like Alfred, Arthur gets bored seemingly quickly with a person. Also his affection can be missinterpreted as belittlement or even a jibe or taunt. He portrays himself as polite and appropriate but in truth he is a hard man to get along with. And few people know how to deal and distinguish his comments.

So after a randevouz with Portugal whom he hasnt seen in a while, he is once again sitting at home by himself pondering what takeout to get bc who has time to cook these days. He is still annoyed with francois but doesnt think too much of it. So after a while something happens and he wants to talk to someone about it, so having all but forgotten their little feud he picks up the phone and dials the french phone number. François picks up and you can hear the irritation in the "I thought the lord is still pissed at me. What a surprise." To which Arthur responds with "Oh do shut up. Now listen I've recetly got word that......" because who can be as stubborn as mules yet forgetful as fish at the same time? These two.

I do think to a certain degree Arthur is more permissive. Especially as he got older and saw his empire sink into that ocean he loved so much. François has more of a need to prove that he is still on top of the game so he does tend to be more assertive in some situations and discussions.

Even if they dont speak to eachother for multiple years at a time, something will come that hauls them back to one another. Be it shared history, mutual understanding or good gossip.

In short, small things break them apart and smaller things bring them together.

[etherealkissed88]

i asked you something and you not only were mean, but you are also making fun of me on twitter. i felt so embarrased that i had to delete my account. you made me feel so bad. i did nothing to you. you had no reason to be so mean. english is not my first lenguage so i also have trouble communicating, i understand half of what you post here. karma will hit you so hard.

lets quote what i said “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”

this isnt mean, this is sarcasm. you communicate very well actually but heres the thing: i looked at ur account and you repost a lot of loa content. if you read all those posts especially the ones about desired appearance which is what you were asking about, it doesnt make sense for you to ask me “do you believe its actually possible to manifest a desired appearance.”

and do not use your language barrier as an excuse to make me feel bad because i rly dont. if you were so bad at communitcating, you wouldn’t be able to communicate to me both this time and the previous time, plus y would u read and repost loa content if u had an issue w language? i know you understand loa but when ppl keep searching and searching for outside answers and validation, it doesnt get them anywhere. believe me - ive “coached” ppl who repeatedly asked me the same questions over and over again despite my whole account and posts being right there. they still struggle because they only ask questions and never apply.

the same fingers you used to type the question, you could have used those same fingers to scroll thro my page like you did with the other content creators. i get it if you are new to loa (even tho you could have read the content that was already there and even tho u already reposted content answering ur own question) but as someone who creates loa content everyday, its disrespectful from my point of view that i work hard for these posts and ppl dont even look at it and instead ask the most limiting questions ever. its almost like “why would i waste my time w these posts”. if you dont understand this, its bc you arent someone who gets 20 repetitive asks everyday meanwhile their answers being right on my page. it can be stressful and so annoying.

now back to my original answer: “no i dont believe they are possible 🥰 which is why i have a whole page dedicated to manifesting stuff 😍”. if u think this was mean, its bc you knew the answer was yes, it is possible. why else would i have a page dedicated to manifesting if it wasnt possible to “actually manifest a desired appearance”. my answer simply guided you to your own answer and to search my page if you still had (better) questions. what i said was literally not mean😭 and if you still believe so then thats fine bc its never that big of a deal. and i wasnt making fun of u on twitter, i simply said the exact thing i originally answered you with💀

idk if ur a beginner in the law or not but either way, you should know that anything is possible w the law. if u didnt know that, then now you know (and ik you know based on ur reaction to my original answer). and karma isnt real so it will not “hit me hard”🥶

im sorry if you rly have a language barrier issue but from my pov, that was the best, most appropiate reply i could have given. even other loa content creators can agree bc they know how ppl can get in their asks inbox. reread this whole thing if theres still an issue.

and dw u can just make another account like you did just now🤭

[pumpkinsy0]

I personally don’t agree with the universal opinion that a part of the fandom seem to have is that Darry and Soda would despise Curly because of the way that he is, and doesn’t ever want them around Ponyboy because he is a bad influence.

While I do agree with a part of it, I think Darry and Sodapop don’t agree with the lifestyle that Curly has going on, but understand his predicament and situation and the reason he is the way that he is, as well as they wouldn’t prefer Ponyboy to hang around Curly because of the messes they could get into that could cause consequences to their actions, e.g the state taking him away because of their negligence and such.

Along with my Arab American headcanon, as Hospitality is a part of their culture, and respect is always forefront to make their guests feel comfortable and welcomed around their presence, they would still look out for Curly, even if he does insist that he doesn’t need anybody to look out for him because he could handle himself. And while still being around the same age as Ponyboy, they don’t really believe that, so if it was needed, (like patching up injuries and PB wasn’t around,) they’d be more than happy to take care of him if he was ever in trouble.

While Curly still does act the way that he does around the Curtis gang, I think he would grow on them, and vice versa.

While Darry is overprotective and such, he does not have any ill will over anybody, especially a teenager because I don’t think a grown man needs to have beef with a teenager, but he’s not overly affectionate towards Curly either LOL

I do think Darry and Tim have a silent oath of some sort to look after each others family whenever it is necessary, while it is not explicitly said between the two, they both know the similar situations they’re in, and to make it easier it would be good if they both were to take care of one another.

On a less serious note, for my Arab Curtis Hcs, I think whenever there would be guests visiting their homes, (minus the gang,) Darry is keen about body language in order to show respect for that guest, (e.g, putting hands in pockets, leaning on walls, etc.) in which Ponyboy and Sodapop do forget sometimes because they don’t often have many people come over, but they do their best to show off respect.

yea i agree!!! now all jokes ive said aside bc i was just being dramatic for the sake of comedy, but i have talked about this before!!!

for darry ive always imagined that its less to do w curly himself, more to deal w the fact that if pony gets in trouble and curly is found w him, it looks bad on him and he could get taken away, darrys focused on what curly could bring WITH him than just curly himsef, thats kinda y i never understood darry AND soda hating on curly, darrys a grown ass man, i dont think hes going out of his way to full on beef w someone like 5 years younger than him, he has to worry about his family lmao

plus, darry lets pony hang w dally, i dont think he’d mind pony and curly hanging out casually, but all the time??? hes a litttlleeee worried

for soda, i genuinely do disagree w how far i think ppl go w for protective he is w pony and hiw he hates curly, bc i dont think he hates him!!! at the end of the day, i do think soda would look out for curly, theyre greasers after all, theyre in this together, but i do think soda would b the one thats the MOST annoyed w curly and that partially bc curly doesnt rlly respect him (and pony a lil but) which, yea ok understandable, but i dont think he would full on VOCALIZE it 24/7 365, at most i think soda is passive aggressive??? like hes still trying to b nice, but if curly steps out of like he says something small, looks a certain way w his eyes, maybe shifts around a lil more, maybe kinda pushing chrly to leave earlier than pony wants, THAT kind of thing, i dont think hes like “GRRRR GET THE HELL OUT NOW SHEPARD SCUM GRRRR”. however i must say that some of his protectiveness just comes from general fear (?????idk if thats the right word) of pony growing up

anyways ive said it before!!! when it comes to darry and sodas views on papercut, sodas mostly looking at pony while darrys focused on curly!!! but i do personally disagree that they see where curlys coming from bc for my own lore reasons they dont 100%, but i see where ur coming from!!!

ANYWAYS ARAB CURTIS BROS WOOO YEAAA LETS GOOO

when it comes to their hospitality, id say that it plays a HUGE part into y they leave their door unlocked, yes its for the gang, but generally i think theyd try to help anyone they can, u need to b pretty desperate to come into a strangers house after all, theyd feel bad for turning someone away, like yea, i GUESS they could, but doesnt mean that they wont hope that person isnt ok later on and they wouldnt b thinking about em

plus!!! darrys strong as hell, if someone came in to hurt them he could probably literally throw em out like they do in cartoons

and culturally speaking!! when it comes to curly and ponys openness, curlys always telling pony to stop helping everyone bc not everyone will help u, but pony just generally cant help it, its just in his nature, its a bit of a cultural misunderstanding between em

[psychabolition]

Hi. I was the person who sent the ask about what needs to be done instead of psychiatry. I only just read your response now. In the time between sending the ask and now I’ve done a lot more research into anti-psychiatry and psych abolition. I understand how it’s an oppressive system and how it harms people. I agree with the need to dismantle it. But as soon as I read the response to my ask I broke down crying.

You talk about the importance of community. Or being able to rely on friends in times of crisis rather than therapists and psychiatrists. I have no community. No friends. I used to think I was okay with that. But I guess I was lying to myself. I am considered distasteful to be around. Scratch that, I actively make myself distasteful to be around. Because then I can at least expect people to inevitably hate me rather than have high expectations and be let down every single time. I’m desperately waiting for my therapy appointment in two days. I know I need someone better. Someone who I can actually tell that I cut myself a couple days ago without them deciding that I need everything I love taken away from me for who knows how long. But I fear I will never have someone better. I fear that even my therapist only tolerates talking to me because they’re paid to tolerate it.

You post about the importance of community if we are to break free from oppressive systems. How do we build that community? How?

Hey !! Thank you for your ask !

I totally understand you . Like I literally know exactly what thats like , trust me.

Ik that "community" is such a vague word that it almost sounds meaningless . Like wtf is that? In my opinion most people just have work colleagues or school mates or other students in their lectures and then go home to a nuclear family or to their partner - this is not "living in community" 💀💀💀. Most people dont live in community, our society (at least western societies like in europe - idk about others) is so fucking alienating . Any emotional connection is replaced w a hierarchy - teacher, prof, therapist, the nuclear family , your boss at work, even intimate relationships with a partner are like that in our patriarchal society . And then the people who you are on the same page as, youre pit against them - you need to be better than your work colleagues to get that promotion or at least so you dont get fired, you need to be able to pass that test alone in university/school otherwise you fall behind your peers or are literally excluded from visiting school/uni , a lot of friendships between women (or FLINTA* to be more accurate) fall apart because of cis men ... FUCK this society .

And then theres those of us that dont fit into this bullshit society. I dont care for a career in a job that will definitely bore me to death or overwork me till suicide and I have 0 interest in creating my own nuclear family after all the awful bullshit Ive had to endure because of the one I was born into. Like these are the 2 life options for us . Of course I was suicidal all the time as a teenager😭I couldnt imagine a future in a world where these are the only options in life !!!! Why are so many people NOT insane ? Who actually likes living this way ????? And if we cant or dont want to submit to "career via education and/or nuclear family" we're worth nothing in this society . We're ostracized ,isolated, stigmatized .

What Im dealing w right now is also connected to all that . the nuclear family that I grew up in wants to stop supporting me financially bc I dont submit to societal expectations of career and education .💀 a lot of my friends are also struggling w literally paying rent bc their parents randomly stopped giving them money for similiar reasons, its awful . This is why the nuclear family is the opposite of community to me. I'd do anything for my friends so they dont go homeless or without food or without support no matter their life choices and especially if they struggle I want to be there for them MORE not less .FUCK our parents fuck the nuclear family . They all slowly start to cut us off and make our lives hell because they dont fucking care about us and they never did .

Anyway . You dont have to built a new community obviously. So the question you need to ask yourself is - where does community still/already exist in your area ? Especially for those of us who deviate A LOT from social norms and "normal" life experiences . I can only talk about myself - Ive found solace in Subcultures that are from and for people who deviate extremely from social norms. Ive linked another ask that Ive answered where I listed all the subcultures that Ive somehow somewhen have heard people around me be a part of. Ik that it can also be very hard to get to be a part of those subcultures if youre not used to being around people (especially groups) but literally . Just keep trying, any subculture thats made up out of outcasts is very welcoming and very accepting. Also usually (at least in my experience) the subcultures are all conntected which is really cool because once you know people from one community you start to know a lot of people from other communities too ! It can still take time though . For me it only took 1 good friendship to a person whos in a subculture in my city to get to know many other people who are all actually part of a real community.

If you have a political subject that youre passionate about like anti psych or abolishing prisons or if there are other subjects that are important to you (animal liberation, youth liberation, climate crisis, queerfeminism , ... ?) I highly recommend a political group as a way to find community and to get into the subcultures in your area . You'll finally stop feeling powerless against oppressive institutions if you manage to actually change something through activism . Any and all activism also connects you a lot to the place that youre living in and the people with similiar struggles around you. Go to Antifa or communists - they have open meetings for newcomers all the time . Or try to join any other subculture - read the ask that I linked !! If youre queer for example thats awesome - go to a queer event Now . Being queer has always had so much culture, so much community .

Also trust me youre not awful to be around . You'll realize that youre actually cool to be around when you spend time w your friends and they appreciate you . and youll also stop having thoughts and fears about not being able to trust them or about them judging you or about how it must be awful to spend time with you (or whatever else you might think) when you have fun spending time together and you regularly see each other and you value each others time. You just havent met your people yet. Dont worry , you will.

[finisnihil]

daz is back at it again with another jingluo au bc THEY WONT FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE

so hear me out, a Dangerously Yours (the radio show AND MORE SPECIFICALLY THE MASQUERADE EP) jingluo au with jing yuan as rudolph and luocha as catherine (katherine???? i lwk dont know how to spell her name)

it was honestly difficult for me to choose who was who (i had a lot of thoughts of jing yuan as catherine) but ultimately decided on him as rudolph because of personality and also their roles. i also think luocha as catherine would be a better fit because of the ending

BUT I WANT TO HEAR WHAT U THINK :3

OH MY GOD HI DAZ, YES YES I AGREE.

Jingluo is truly like little parasites that burrow in you and refuse to budge.

ANYWAYS YES DANGEROUSLY YOURS I definitely agree. Catherine as Luocha is the best fit I believe. Catherine approaches Rudolph first, she's the one who lures him into the game of wits, akin to how Luocha lures Jing Yuan into their own metaphorical chess game by drawing his attention enough to get him invested. When they take too long, both of them are eventually pushed to ignite the final confrontation so to speak, forcing the other player to abandon their passive role of observing them to become more active.

I also do believe that between the two of them, Luocha would have more difficulty firing the gun in that moment. Jing Yuan would struggle but he's fired the gun before, he's the one who read Dan Feng's sentencing after all, he's practiced. Luocha on the other hand is somebody who would struggle to let go, his entire character is being unable to let go.

Luocha cannot let go of life because the dead will return and Yaoshi will not let him. He has bad memories of his home world but he can't let go of his clothes from there, wearing them to remind himself of the road he must travel. He carts around the coffin because he cannot let go of a deal he made. He risks being exposed too soon to heal Xueyi because he can't let go that she's hurt. As Jingliu says, there's a hole where his heart is and he exhausts himself trying to fill it. If Jing Yuan became something that fills that hole, Luocha wouldn't be able to let him go. Rudolph is there to test Catherine, and she says it herself, Rudolph is dearer than her country. Jing Yuan wouldn't need to be tested, he's already pulled that trigger enough times to prove himself. Luocha, however, would grapple with duty over happiness, having to take on the burden of that hole in his heart again to do what he needs to do. It fits with the canon too, if Luocha truly seeks a greater alliance with the Xianzhou, he has to be ready to uphold that above himself.

Jing Yuan also fits as Rudolph especially well. He plays into the game already having an idea of what's going on and still gets blindsided by Luocha's moves. Rudolph wasn't sure if Catherine could shoot him in that moment and Jing Yuan couldn't see Luocha's true intentions until it was too late. Jing Yuan would also let Luocha go, the way Rudolph did Catherine. Jing Yuan let Blade go, he let Dan Heng go, and he lets Baiheng go every time he visits Bailu. He let Igor go knowing he would never see him again, that Igor had a life and a destiny he could be part of but not dictate. He let Jingliu go when he made the decision to kill her and release her from the Mara. In the way that Luocha cannot let go, Jing Yuan cannot bear to hold on. Even if he ends up alone again, he can't bring himself to chain anyone to his person in such a way.

In regards to his relationship with Luocha, it could end up a bit dysfunctional because of this. In the same way an animal used to captivity can't take care of itself in the wild, Luocha wouldn't take being freed for his own good after finally finding fulfillment very well. Jing Yuan would release him in a bid to prioritize his happiness/health and Luocha would die outside the safety of the fence, still looking for the hand that feeds him. To Rudolph, it was better to let Catherine think he never loved her when to Catherine, not knowing he was always on her side would be a greater pain. Jing Yuan and Luocha would be much the same. They're a bit unhealthy in that way but it adds to their charm.

Anyways, of course they would fit the episode literally titled "Masquerade". They're both donning masks/personas and engaging in a dance without truly being vulnerable enough to know the other fully. When the masks do come off, the dance is over, and one of them falls off the music box to be freed of the song.

[wish-i-were-heather]

i just need to vent ignore this pls

oh my GOODNESSCAN YOU JUST ADMIT YOURE WRONG AUGH HOW HARD IS IT??? I DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING!!! im sorry i fucking misunderstood you, its not worth any argument. its the STUPIDEST ARGUMENT LITERALLY WHY ARE YOU MAD??? she said to try on the dress, so i tried on the dress. then she says its the wrong one. okay, fine, my mistake. no problem. apparently there is a problem because "didnt you hear me tell you the other one we ordered arrived?" NO I CLEARLY DIDNT OTHERWISE I WOULDVE PUT THAT ONE ON? so its like ok fine ill put on the other its no big deal. but apparently i used the wrong fucking tone? what tone am i supposed to use i just talked normally. and i do like the dress i fucking do i like the dress damn why are you so pressed about it. "if you dont like it why did you buy it then its a waste" I LIKE THE FUCKING DRESS SHUT TF UP. and then apparently when he agrees that i didnt use a tone, "doesnt the tone she's using sound just like a meltdown? do you not hear it? NO HE DOESNT HEAR IT OBVIOUSLY THERES NO FUCKING TONE TO HEAR OMG ITS LITERALLY NOT A PROBLEM THERES NO NEED TO ARGUE I TRIED ON THE WRONG FUCKING DRESS LET IT GO. but apparently fucking not so im like oh sorry i didnt know wheres the dress im supposed to wear and she fucking goes "ill show you" in the most demeaning, slow, talking to someone whos overracting type of tone. like excuse me? all i did was ask a question? im not doing anything? so then i just respond "okay" in the same fucking tone. and when she hears that tone now she gets mad? yeah its not very fun to hear is it huh. and then shes like "oh nevermind we dont have to try it on well do it later" AND WALKS AWAY LIKE BITCH THIS WAS YOUR IDEA DO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR IT OR NOT? how can you give me this stupid ass attitude, say i have attitude, then walk away like im the dramatic overreacter here?

then she decides to just leave. fully leave. like i go into my room thinking we're done because i wasnt even that mad she was the one who was pissed. and then she knocks on the door (wow i didnt know she could do that she always just opens it) and is like uh where r u? and im like im in here and apparently that upsets her that im not trying on the dress that i didnt fucking know existed until five minutes ago and she just WALKS AWAY?? JUST SAYS WHATEVER AND FULLLY LEAVES. GOES OUTSIDE TO TAKE A WALK? HELLO? YOU CANT JUST LEAVE AN ARGUMENT WHEN YOURE LOOSING??? YOU CANT JUST WALK THE FUCK AWAY??

so then later i feel fine im not mad anymore i left that post with a bunch of tags complaining. and then i go to say goodnight and shes all stiff and he tells me shes still mad. and then she decides to talk about how shes "invisible and it feels like everyone is ignoring her and invalidating her emotions and stuff" LIKE LITERALLY WHO DID THAT? WHERE- WHAT? WHO??? like she doesnt know how to admit shes wrong its actually a problem. sometimes youre wrong and sometimes you have to be the bigger person. but no she has the emotional maturity of a five year old and decides to just sit there and cross her arms and not fucking talk as we both try to apologize??? and neither of us even know what we did wrong. and then SHE TRIES TO TURN IT AROUND AND "APOLOGIZES" AND IS LIKE OH IM WRONG ITS FINE WHATEVER. LIKE NO LETS TALK ABOUT THIS BUT SHE DOESNT WANT TO?? HELLO? normally the morning after an argument ill go and apologize because ill be wrong but this time i dont even know what to say because im not even doing anything wrong. shes the one who got mad at me for a simple fucking misunderstanding. all because i put on the wrong dress?? oh my goodness its not that deep at all just apologize and move on.

and the worst part is i was crying. i started crying. i was crying. during this whole damn argument. and i couldnt get words out bc my fucking throat was all weird. and i sounded rediculous. its fucking humiliating. i was trying to tell her like im not sad im not upset but she just gave me this nasty ass glare so i guess im the problem and im still overreacting.

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST ARGUMENT ANYONES EVER HAD OH MY GOODNESS LITERALLY JUST BECAUSE I MISUNDERSTOOD WHEN YOU SAID "THE DRESS ARRIVED AND I WANT YOU TO TRY IT ON." like im not even that important at all its not worth it. like oh my goodness just say youre wrong and move on. but the problem is she cant apologize and say shes wrong without playing the victim and "omg you guys dont even care im just invisible im being ignored your invalidating me" NO WERE NOT STOP TALKING

whatever its fine i guess. shes still important to me. i love her. shes just an only child and i really think it shows in the way she argues.

this is stupid. what a way to end the night with me crying because i accidentally used the wrong tone apparently and "had a meltdown" by litreally just explaining a simple misunderstanding.

but i can listen to short and sweet tomorrow!! i was gonna tonight but my nights fucking ruined :)

if you for some reason decided to read this, no you didnt

[cfr749]

I still dont understand how you went from Lucy supporter to this nonsense. She is again just a vehicle for the man pain and you are celebrating it. Disappointed and disgusted

Welcome back, anon! First off, thanks for sending two rude messages so I can respond to one and use the other to block you 👋

To be clear, the only reason I’m giving this the the time of day is because I think the “man pain” issue is worth addressing.

I’m always open to talking about this show and issues with misogyny, representation, race, etc. Even with people I don’t completely agree with.

What I’m not gonna do is discuss it with someone who can’t converse like a rational adult and finds joy in sending toxic, judgmental anonymous messages, so this little exchange of ours is over after this.

I am so sorry that my feelings about the show don’t line up exactly with what you want them to be. Sounds like you have some pretty strong feelings of your own though, so here’s an idea 💡 : post them on your own blog!

Shockingly, I’m capable of considering that there might be multiple perspectives on specific decisions the show makes. And that more than one of them can be valid at the same time!

I completely get how this could be viewed as growth for Tim at Lucy’s expense. I agree that sucks. I’ve posted multiple times that I will be LIVID if Lucy doesn’t actually end up with any type of storyline of her own or character development resulting from all the shit they put her through, and just ends up as a supporting character in another Tim-centric SL.

But, I can feel that way and also have other opinions all at the same time:

- I am glad they let Tim be the flawed human instead of the victim.

- I’m glad they didn’t villify Lucy in the breakup because god knows how quickly this fandom would tear her to pieces if she ever did to Tim what Tim just did to her.

- After years of Lucy doing barely anything on screen other than the odd UC op and propping up storylines for Tim and Chenford, I’m glad her character is 3-dimensional again both in the relationship and outside of it.

- I am heartbroken over the break up. I can’t watch the scene without bawling my eyes out. I feel nauseous thinking about it. But I am also glad they now have another chance to get it right this time for Chenford. Specifically because I love Lucy. Because I feel like she deserved so much better than what she got the first time.

- I’d love to see Tim value her and fight for her instead of just having her drop everything on a dime for him bc he deigned to look her direction after getting dumped by his girlfriend.

- I’d love to see him deal with all his unresolved baggage and realize what a complete and total idiot he is for throwing away what they had.

- And I’d love to see Lucy [continue to] recognize her own worth and thrive in the meantime. I am SO proud of who she’s been this season. And I hope she becomes even stronger and more sure of herself.

- I hope she recognizes she deserves so much better than what Tim gave her and that his decision has nothing to do with her worth (even if it feels like that at first), and I hope she *demands* better from him before even considering taking him back.

I’m not psychic. I don’t know what they have planned for the rest of the season (and no, I’m not gonna jump to conclusions off of a few vague interviews either). Maybe I’ll love it; maybe I’ll hate it. We’ll see.

Either way, I’m clear that’s it’s still just a TV show and that these are fictional characters. Are you?

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

not the male ro anon (obv), but it feels always kind of strange to me when people ask for more or like even gender distribution in ro? like ik its bcs im a funky aroace, but first of all, the romance is a feauture not the main selling point. if there's no ro that appeals to you, the story (should) and their friendships can. like yeah, i also scroll down to the ro list and check everyone out, but if no ones my personal taste, im still playing the game if the premise and plot sound cool. like your writing is more than just the romance points. (maybe im a bit bitter on this topic bcs i deal/t with romance being the main and only point in every media ever, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.)

and you also dont have to stick to your taste. am i into women? no but i can make a character who is and i can still enjoy the romance of it. ik customization is a really massive part of if games, but it also offers the means to explore outside of your own identity. i think thats a big part of flavor texts too, seeing the small differences and how it changes the experience between different types of people.

and speaking from a coders perspective, maybe im just lazy (laziness is a lie and doesnt exist), but having to code the different pronouns and maybe even gender specific flavour text for gender selectable RO can be kinda annoying at times ngl. and i can absolutely understand why writers dont want to add gender selectable ro options because theres a lot of important differences in how people are brought up as, and the amount it could change someones character can be massive, we're talking like straight up two (or more) different people, just for one selection in an RO. and sometimes offering gender selection just doesnt make sense for the romance or the plot. not only does teddys sexuality but also gender play into his romance and character. it would not have the same meaning if we were allowed to change his gender.

and thats just like 3 points i personally can think of. and personally, genuinely, obviously no hate to the anon, i understand if its just a frustration of an perceived "imbalance" in ro, but authors have many reasons why they chose to offer the ro that they do, to make them gender selectable or not. and speaking from a readers perspective, sometimes we do feel entitled to ro, options and flavor, that the author knows wont happen. that doesnt make us bad readers, or authors bad writers and coders, its just something we have to remind ourselves of. "theres probably a reason for it".

I spent a bit of time considering which ROs could even have been switchable and I ultimately came up with Wil, Alistair, and CG. And with CG that would mean changing some of her background and tbh I kind of like Alistair being a guy and a more 'nurturing' type of character.

So yeah. idk. With Wil I felt like the opportunity was there to make them switchable and I decided to give it a shot since it'd be something I hadn't tried before (and let me include a character who potentially has neopronouns. but M!Wil was always gonna be a thing.

and agree that pronoun code is a pain in the butt.

[dartalias]

Pirate Kyoshi/flying opera AU

I wanted to draw this for i while and i still think i will but in case i cant (no time, but i think i can make it) i just gonna drop my idea here:

Pirate Kyoshi and Flying Opera Company

(This will be SUPER long im thinking about it for a while now)

basically: "what if Kyoshi had accepted Tagata's offer" it would be like "i will go with you if you let everyone go."

I kinda mix a little bit with airbender Kyoshi too, but different, so follow me here:

for this AU specific i thoght in make Kyoshi enter the fitht nation and pretend to be a non-bender to Tagata at the beginning since canonically she dont earthbend in front of her intil the seafloor (dosent happend in this scenario)

Why?? do you remember when Tagata say she dosent have use to earthbenders in a ship? But she look to Kyoshi and see "potential"

[Important detail in this AU: Tagata recognise Jesa's fetures in Kyoshi just like that other pirate did (see this in a coment somewhere and love it), i didnt make a backstory for them but i think it would be cool, the point is: she knows Kyoshi is Jesa and Hark daugther]

Because of that Tagata is divide trying to figure out if Kyoshi is an earthbender or an airbender, and Kyoshi's plan is just pretend she can't bend anything to make Tagata "lose time" intil she finds a way to ether escape or defeat her

But when Tagata try make Kyoshi airbend Kyoshi thinks "this will never work, im obvious not the avatar" what make her relax (which is what was missed in the firebend test in canon btw) and dont think about it much

And then she airbend

And BOOM, suddenly she's the avatar, literally only her knows it, and she is surrounded by a bunch of daufei, while being untrained, scared and lost in a completely unfamiliar territory

So, since she cant go back to Yokoya (Tagata and the deal she made etc etc.) She goes to her cannon next impulsive plan B

The Flying Opera Company

Somehow she convince Tagata to bring them in the ship as her "team" or "guests" bc she needs more training (its true) and they would be the only daufeis who would have some idea of how to help her

So she goes to the tea shop and convince them to joing her (in almost the same way of cannon: "you're our lider's daugther and its offering transportation") and agrees to teach her if she joins they, making their vows instead of Tagata's, this way they would be a gang working for pirates instead of part of tagatas krew, which make its possible to Kyoshi be/go openly againt her (not that something would really stop her, but still..)

And thats would be kinda it, they would be runing with the pirates, making caos. With a airbender in there ship they would be easily the "best"/bigest pirates ever (she can literally control the wind, in a ship) besides, fighting with a airbender is something you wouldn't expected or be prepared to do in the daufey line of work

And Kyoshi would be pretending to be just an airbender (probably making up a history of "i couldnt try it or they would figure out", or "it didnt work before" or "i knew it but couldnt train it" something like that) both for Tagata and the Flying Opera (exept Lao Ge who figure it out, maybe he teach her how to kill people here too)

So besides Kyoshi being almost openly agains Takaga and planing for her dawnfall, (she is BAD at pretend to like someone) and seemed to be more of a willing prisioner then a real part of her crew, having a daufei airbender is a super advantage and Tagata is smart enogth to use Kyoshi in her benefit even when Kyoshis is trying so sabotage her or going agains orders, thats a dangerous dinamic, especially with Kyoshi involved, but i think would be great to see it

I dont know how this would end tho (maybe a postponed seafloor rise?)

Some still untied points:

-Jianzhu would still be a big villan, i have some plans for him (and maybe Hei-Ran) but nothing concret

-Rangshi is obviously the endgame, i just dont know yet when she would join Kyoshi (she would never let Kyoshi go with Tagata, so they would have left before Rangi arrives) but since she would definitely go after her and i think this would be it, at some point she finds her and tags along

-Kelsang dies protecting Yun from Jianzhu

Is killed by Jianzhu when he discoveres Kyoshi to be the avatar

Dies trying to go after Kyoshi

Lives and help Kyoshi with airbender later on♡

-Lek lives

-i have NO IDEA how to make Kyoshi get her things (fans, makeup, diary etc.) but she does

And thats it

Write this make the drawing ispiration grow back stronger so maybe i will do somethings of this later

[runthepockets]

abt your men being proverbially shit on post: i mean i agree sorta, bioessentialism is unhelpful and hurtful, and rn you see a lot of shit from cis women abt how men cant help but be bad people etc. and that kinda shit is not helpful at all. but i agree w the person who replied to that post too. i mean i wouldnt make a joke like "i hate men" to a dude's face bc it's unhelpful in the same way i wouldn't say i hate white people to a random white person's face, but like. yknow? i dont know specifically what example you're thinking of but i would pretty confidently say there IS a difference between how women talk abt men and how men talk abt women. i agree that it's unhelpful for them and YOURSELF to genuinely earnestly think men are genetically unable to be better bc it just. isn't true. but i would definitely say misogyny and "i hate men" are different. again though idk what example you're using here, but just like... when i walk around as a woman, and even when i walk around as a man, i see like every third guy talkin crazy shit on how Fundamentally Different women are from men and women are This horrible thing and women are That horrible thing and women Can't Help But Be Crazy and when i talk to women all i get are "well he's a man. he's stupid." and usually that doesn't read as bioessentialism, it reads as tiredness from dealing with misogyny all the time. so i agree to an extent, bioessentialism is an issue, and all the "feminine energy astrology balanced by male aggressiveness and men can't help but be stupid people because their brains are wired differently" are contributing to a worsening of some kind, but also i don't know that i'm seeing more manhate than i am misogyny, still to this day, and i am able to opporate socially as both a man and a woman so i see both sides pretty frequently. i feel like you have a specific example you're thinking of that i don't know, because all i can think of are the times i've personally seen men freak out and do shitty stuff because they know a woman who doesn't feel safe around men that they are close to, and both are really horrible about communication, which is a two part thing and a lot more complicated than just random negativity

I don't think I said manhate is more common than misogyny, and I'm sorry if I did because that's not really what I was going for. The point of that post was more to point out the hypocrisy of taking low blows at men while women doing the same thing gets crickets and tumbleweeds. Maybe you haven't experienced this, but I certainly have as a man. Just as there's things I can do that are easier for me to get away with as a dude, there are things chicks can get away with easier than I ever could.

I don't really think the way different genders talk about each other is that different, pre transition I heard women talk crazy shit about dudes, about how we can't control our sex drives and how we're useless if we don't make enough money, and tbh I don't really see how "he can't help being dumb and useless, he's a man" is any less of a meanspirited generalization than "she can't help being oversensitive and hysterical, she's a woman." It's both generalizing stereotypes that are, on some level, hurtful to the demographic they're being hurled at. There's plenty of men who have greivances with abusive and shitty women and we (RE: LEFTIST SPACES) don't let them speak poorly of women, so why is it ok in these same spaces to let women say whatever just cus of their trauma? It's like you say, respect is a two way street. I'm not listening to anyone who makes blind assumptions about me because of my gender and presentation.

I'm going to parrot my friend's reply as well: I don't think a lot of this is "just venting", I don't think making generalizations and saying cruel things about 50% of the population exists in a vaccuum. And even if it did, I still think I'm allowed to say "hey, it hurts my feelings when you say I'm dumb and useless", because at the end of the day you can't deny feelings.

I'm glad you don't say shitty things about men to their faces, but women have done those things to me so you can't speak for all of them. I've been called a moid and told I wouldn't get respect until I "stopped raping and killing women and children" even though I've never put my hands on a woman or child in any way that could be described as anything short of "platonic and consensual". I've been told that I'm not allowed to feel hurt and upset when women verbally abuse me because women are saints who can do no wrong, because they're lower on the social pecking order than me, because other men are nasty and cruel so I have to suck it up and take one for the team. I think people only think this stuff is "harmless venting" because they don't actually realize how biased their perceptions of men and masculinity are. I've had many trans men who can testify to my experiences word for word going as far back as the 70s in the very queer and feminist spaces that I've been bitching about for the past 3 years. So while I don't think institutional misandry is real, or anything, while I don't think women are at fault for being annoyed with how shitty we can be, I do definitely think prejudice is real and I think it's dished out rather unfairly and uncritically.