#bc i can only hope its as cool to them as it was for me as an 11-12 year old
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IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT!!! Opposites attract are literally my favorite trope ever, i love bad boy unhinged rockstar Dazai and him developing a crush on the cute, considered the industry sweetheart who dresses in frills and bows idol/pop star Reader, and considering that idols change their outfits to support the themes of songs/tours i can imagine they get a matching outfit set one day and its rock style…..idol reader dressed in black and other dark colors, rips in their clothes and some skin showing……Rockstar!Dazai is biting the bars of his encloser-TeenZai anon
so sorry this is so late angel.... also i may have gotten a bit carried away w this concept................ i love u teenzai anon this one's for u and all the rockstar!dazai adorers out there (and for me bc i'm INSANE for this whole thing put me downnn) basically idol reader taking up dazai's rocker aesthetic for the concept/theme of the tour is literally the DEATH of him. and not in the way he's always wishing for >:3
~ a little something about Rockstar!Dazai and Popstar!Reader finding a middle ground ~
You show up to soundcheck one morning completely in tune with the plan for the show but thinking nothing of it, because you're sweet and cool and in perfect flow! Something Dazai simply isn't and it makes him practically gawk as you saunter past him into the dressing room. a few moments later you walk out in a matching outfit that compliments the one he's wearing and it's all over. Completely fucking done. The man practically goes non-verbal for a few moments when he suddenly calls for his assistant to fetch him his pack of cigarettes so he can dash outside to the alley of the venue to get himself together. The nerve of you to look absolutely ravishing in a completely different aesthetic... So hot. So annoying.
Of course you follow behind him, curious and also hoping he's genuinely okay (you're not just a sweetheart for show and he hates that!) You find him leaning against the wall, his lighter failing to give him the flame he needs for his sweet relaxation. All he hears is soft giggling and light footsteps.
"I'll light it."
You take the lighter from him and flawlessly flicker it alive while he just watches you with the stick between his lips, amazed and slightly aroused. He can't help but notice the way his nerves seem to immediately settle with you nearby and it both comforts and concerns him. Dazai looks down at your face as you lean forward with the lighter, a tiny moment of softness appearing in his eyes as he watches you light the end of his cigarette, the flame from the lighter making his Hazelnut eyes light up slightly. He quickly takes in a long and deep drag, his shoulders visibly immediately relaxing once the smoke hits his lungs, and his cool guy demeanor is back on. You chime in, poking your head back into his line of sight.
"Better?"
You smile at him sweetly, always keeping things cordial.
"Much."
He stares at you under his messy bangs, his narrowed eyes softening by the second as his lips curl upward. You're just too true.
You simply hum, standing around idly though not in the way that claims awkwardness, but rather the comfortable kind of silence neither of them get to experience often in this fast paced industry. You look down at your black platform leather boots, a sheer contrast from who you usually present as and it somehow feels liberating. You breathe out, matching his coolness.
"Thought so."
He almost snorts at that, and turns back to look over the features of your angelic face. no amount of black you wear could overshadow the glimmer that follows you everywhere you go. You're a lucky star that's gone as quick as it comes. One day he'll make a wish on you.
"You know me so well."
You huff into a soft laugh that lingers and eventually dies in your throat when you realize the fluttering in your chest is only growing. Yikes. You mutter, low and careful.
"I just... Didn't want you to have a bad night tonight, I guess. With the concert and the album dropping and all... I hope you don't mind I'm sort of dressed like you, heh."
You end it with a shrug as you look ahead at the clouds in the sky and for the first time in a while you feel a tinge of nerves. you, the industry's sweetheart can still feel that after your major lasting success? shocking.
He huffs slightly in response, leaning his back against the wall and tilting his head up, staring up at the sky as he mutters back.
"It's not like I ever really have a totally good time on nights like this, anyway."
You flash your attention at him, tilting your head. In all your years of the supposed 'clashing' between you, you have never heard him speak this way.
"Nights 'like this'?"
He glances back over to you, bringing the cigarette back to his lips for another quick drag before responding, watching you stare at him intently.
"Ahh, performing. All the people. The fans being all over me. The media. All of it, all the time. It's exhausting, actually. I know I'm super hot and talented, but the performance doesn't always end when I get off that stage."
This causes you to lean in just a tad and murmur, curiously.
"... So why do it? All of this?"
And just when he's about to truly spill it all, talk about his never ending battle with his mortality and his career and the way you dominate every single topic in his mind, he simply just looks at you and blows cigarette smoke in your face with that signature smirk of his you always pretend to find so irritating.
"Sometimes it feels real and constant. It's the only thing I can count on... Other than seeing your silly little imitation of me on stage. Hate the mesh, by the way."
You simply stare, taken aback by his oddly sincere and blunt answer. You mutter under your breath as you bite your freshly manicured nails.
"...Yeah?"
Dazai hesitates a moment, his dark eyes glancing away from you as he takes another drag from the cigarette, a moment of vulnerability flickering through his expression. He takes another moment before responding, his voice gruff and a little shaky.
"Yeah..."
He continues to stare off to the side for a long moment, a hint of something like longing and painful restraint crossing his expression as he seems to internally struggle with something. Dazai's expression hardens a little as he finally looks back at you, his shoulders visibly tense as he puffs on the cigarette again, blowing out a long stream of smoke as he tries to push down his own feelings.
But you can tell, you can always tell. Media training, baby.
After what feels like an eternity, you reach out for his cigarette and take it in between your lips, taking a long drag of it yourself. You puff out smoke in a far less cool way than he made it seem, feigning nonchalance as if this isn't the first time you've ever even TRIED one of these damn things.
"Minty..."
He glances at you as you take the cigarette and take a drag yourself, a small but subtle flicker of curiosity in his expression. He watches you exhale and blow out the stream of smoke, before responding in a sardonic voice.
"Since when do you smoke, little miss bubblegum pop?"
You choke out a laugh, waving away the smoke to regain your breath. You smile faintly with a shrug as you hand it back to him after taking one more drag for good measure.
"I don't."
He raises his eyebrows slightly, giving you a look of mischief.
"Then why are you puffing on my cigarette, hm? Your manager would have a stroke if they saw you like this, you know. I'd be marked as a 'bad influence'~"
You shrug again and hum with all the bravery in the world your little heart can muster.
"...Tastes like you, is all."
He just continues to stare at you for a moment, processing your answer. Dazai's expression still remains as unreadable and emotionless as ever, but his eyes flicker for a moment, something indiscernible flashing through them for a fleeting second. It's the internal panic from how badly he wants to kiss you right here and now. He seems to hesitate for a moment before responding with a small smirk forming on his face and sounding wayyy too eager.
"...Is that a good thing?"
You exhale, the smoke leaving your nostrils as you murmur softly, eyes locked on his.
"...Yeah. It's a real and constant thing."
His breath hitches, shoulders visibly reacting by scrunching up as you give your answer. He doesn't say anything, but there's a flicker of something like vulnerability in his expression, a hint of softness around his eyes that betrays his usual cool and careless exterior. He remains silent for a moment longer before responding, his voice a low murmur.
"Yeah... Real."
And before you know it, you simply decide to say fuck it! And do something you'd never have the guts to do before Dazai and his ridiculous self entered your life. You lean in slowly, inching closer and closer to his lips. You're within an inch of kissing him when you whisper.
"... For good luck tonight, Osamu."
Dazai watches you in silence as you lean forward towards him, his expression going from unreadable to filled with pure unfiltered need. As you pause just inches away from his mouth, his eyes flicker once more, his dark irises shifting down to your lips for a second before returning to your eyes. For a moment he doesn't move, just staring down at you with an almost pathetically vulnerable expression on his face. You know better than to say his name like that. Then, in a low voice, he whispers back.
"... Shut up."
He leans down suddenly, pressing his lips against yours. Dazai's lips press against yours in a firm, almost desperate kiss. One of his arms wraps around your waist, pulling you flush against his body, while the other hand moves up to cradle the back of your head, threading his fingers through your purposefully messy yet somehow still soft hair. The kiss is passionate and intense, you can't even fathom how it's all gone down like this but you don't care.
Dazai thinks about how you taste delicious, sinful, and more importantly: Real.
For a few seconds, he kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth, before he finally breaks away, the both of you gasping for breath as he speaks in a quiet and hoarse voice.
"I can't think straight around you like this you silly little thing."
You smile, suddenly back to being bashful and absolutely ready for whatever happens tonight. You both look stunning and it's not just the outfits that speak on it. It's the genuine spark between you two, the collaboration everyone wanted but you NEEDED.
Just when you're about to reply to his snarky comment, your managers bust through the door to the alley and frantically fuss over you both as they yap about how late you are to soundcheck and the pre-show meet and greet. And why do you smell like cigarettes?!
Dazai turns up the charm and bad boy personal while you play up the apologetic and totally easygoing idol who's more than happy to make up for the lost time with the fans! And now in a different color scheme than they're used to!
Before you and Dazai are whisked away into opposite ends to finish getting ready, he leans into the shell of your ear, barely grazing it with his lips as he whispers playfully.
"You drive me crazy. See you on stage, and then maybe backstage~"
You swear you can feel every nerve in your body twitch when he smugly prances away from you after saying that.
... And of course the concert is a total jam, everyone's raving about the new music + matching outfits you're both sporting along with the undeniable chemistry you're cooking up. It's in the way you smile at each other in between songs, or when Dazai's singing a particularly flirty lyric he gazes at you instead of the screaming fans in the crowd. You dance and he watches, just like everybody else always does when you're in the room. Spellbound.
He may be wishing on you a little earlier than he thought he would be, but you don't seem to mind one bit, his lucky star. ⋆。°✩
#honestly straight up what is this im losing it#i wrote this entire thing in my notes IM STILL ON VACATION BUT I NEEDED TO DO THIS. I NEEDED TO FOR MY MIND AND HEART AND SOUL#THANK U TEENZAI AS ALWAYS :3#come onnnnnnn rockstar dazai let's get this pathetic loserman bread!#and u.... longing loser as well hiding behind pink crop tops n skirts#the both of u are just. simply meant to be yall are modern day jack and sally ksndjejdnd#i need him to ruin me or i ruin him#yes dazai smokes menthols sue me >:-)#bungou stray dogs#anon#osamu dazai#dazai x reader#bsd dazai#dazai x you#osamu dazai x reader#bsd x reader#dazai imagines#rockstar!dazai#dazai fanfic#fanfic#osamu dazai fluff#dazai fluff#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#bungo stray dogs#yandere dazai#teenzai anon#asks#drabble
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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-
but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again
(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)
i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)
weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward
but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.
right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#sorta#suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw#theres some construction stuff on our house going on#and my father is extremely stressed about it#he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed#my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi#to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself#which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee#and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her#to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life#BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her#without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears#and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains#but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being#always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold#but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings
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(OLD OC SKETCHES) Meet Sunnabelle Von Sunnoviche, final daughter of the Sunnoviche family. Peeking from behind a window, she witnessed a wizards final spell, one that reduced the world to a wasteland. Her noble blood damned her to [HELL], but unwanting to suffer with her family, she made a deal with the devil. She now hunts in his name. The top of her head was taken by the blast on that day. The fires of her spirit have boiled her blood into a super-heated plasma.
#luckys original content#GRAAHH MY OCS OCS IM SORRY MY OCS I NEVER FUCKIN DRAWW YYAALLL#i was cleanin stuff on my pc again n found a buncha stray doodles of her that i made like. 1 or 2 yrs ago. so i cooked em into smth edible#shes a gunslinger rogue i think! mechanically aasimar bc plasma blood#played her once for a very teeny tiny improved oneshot me n some buddies did forever ago#would love to play as her again... someday a cowboy themed game will find me.. n she will live again...#SUNNABELLE VON SUNNOVICHE! the last name was sposed to sound like 'son of a bitch' ehehehe#bc she is ONE HELL ofa son ofa bitch. shes mean shes short tempered she takes NO SHIT#and she loses her mmIIIIND when she meets a delightfully stupid pretty person#i didnt play her for long so her personality hasnt evolved that far. thats the fun thing abt playing characters! u meet them when u play em#SUNNABELLE FUNFACTS: she is the 6th child of 11 siblings. middlest a middle child can be. bc o this she was often overlooked or ignored#she grew up in a family of obnoxiously rich nobles. all the other siblings were trained and focused on to be the best a sunnoviche can be#meanwhile. sunnabelle often stuck to herself. drawing and creating little fantasy worlds. was always a fan of wild wests n cowboys n guns#she was the only one that saw the WIZARD coming. she was peering over a window when the blast went off. taking the top of her head#GUHH IM ACTULY SO PROUDA HER DESIGN SHE LOOKS SO COOL.. LIKE WHATS WITH THE PLASMA HOW DID I DRAW THAT SO WELL. IM SO PROUD.#I lov all the sun symbolism.. its so fun.. what a fun character ive made.. hell yeah.... anyway hope u guys like her too.#if u got questions ive got ANSWERS!!! my askbox is always open. im pretty sure.
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cant believe i reached 30 tags in prev post rambling about homestuck i didnt even know there was a limit
#i usually save word diarrhea for twitter but hope someone enjoys the huge dump i took here for once#anyways tldr homestuck orv and taz are all special stories to me in kind of similar ways#that i would elaborate on if i thought i could piece together my words that would entice people rather than scare them off lmao#so i'll just say IT's COOL.. I SWEAR#and also genshin which is an outlier i suppose bc its the only capital P Popular thing#but i'd also put genshin w those first three stories in terms of how interesting i find their storytelling methods and narrative themes#i love the pockets of genshin fandom that are ppl obsessing over fragments of lore and making big conspiracy boards#i dont really interact w main genshin fandom but i like peeking at the other pockets haha. like the people investigating khaenri'ah lore..#very cool.. and people invested in sumeru gang. the sumeru characters are so interesting#whole city of eccentrics you can bash together and examine#i'm scara and childe fan forever idk what they did to my brain but i think they were a psyop#made specifically in ways they knew would target me and the things i like damn ‼️#someone at genshin HQ put crack in these guys and i cant stop drawing them and coming up w ideas to draw my beautiful muses that ruined me
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There is gonna be more than that coming from the poll, but whatever it is vote Kacchan/Deku for best hero. Idc who wins i just need them to be together again
if they just announced it today without saying anything before, I would probably immediately do it.
Right now im just bitter because of the hype -I thought it would at least slightly relate to the actual story (adaptations of other stories, extra content for the volume which once again may I remind everyone is extremely short, almost half what a manga volume usually looks which is a huge problem).
This disappointed me extremely, as its not even related to any content from the manga beyond the characters it uses. I get that many ppl will work on this, and that artist will get excited over being able to get the spotlight, some will be able to ask specific questions, and a character will get a statue and a movie.
Still extremely disappointed because of the "special project will be announced on the 5th *wink wink*".
I can't feel excitement over it as, in my mind, I lost something that felt better -more content related to the story. So at best this would be "oh cool I can try it", a feeling pretty similar to the other announcements -not my favorite thing in the world, but I wont reject it and try to see what comes out of it.
This isnt at best to me right now
#grrr talking#grrr being a hater#literally one of the special things was already announced -the fan book#bc im feeling negative I will say negative stuff here so beware#as far as I saw the fan book is a way of getting another product without paying artists#and days before we already knew it would happen#the statue thing feels like the art exhibition like okay thats cool still doesnt compare to more stories like at all#and I will never see any of that in person ever so why would I get extra happy about that?#I know this is an homage so we can feel like we are closer to their world and all but the statues have a bad connotation there#vote so we can see the protagonist and the deuteragonist in a movie#im sorry why do we need to massively vote so they get content? they are literally the most important characters#and what would even be the movie about? For all I know they could do whatever they wanted with the characters#a movie based on who the most popular character is... great. unless passionate ppl are involved in the project it doesnt sound like a good#a good story could come out of it#as its based on who is most popular among voters not an actual story the characters need#so unless 278 characters already have backstories and stuff planned that would get explored in a movie#i dont trust what they could do with this#and I dont want to give them my hope. They didnt need to make an announcement for the announcement#that only has made me feel super bitter#will I get over it later in the day? probably#I still want to express myself#the only thing in my mind about using this opportunity is still bitter lmao#just asking why didnt you make them hold hands#because I can try to justify it with my own theories#but that doesnt mean anything now does it
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how I look suggesting to my group partners that we do our bio presentation on vultures
#reggietales#specifically how they evolved convergently and might throw in a note thrown in on conservation too bc theyre. in trouble!!!!!!#they said they didnt have any ideas and we needed a topic i was like 'well i do have one idea..........................'#they seemed receptive so we'll see. i feel kind of bad like im forcing them but!!!! augh!!!!!!! we needed a topic and i had that one in min#and they said they were cool with anything so. idk i stressed that we rly didnt have to do this topic i was just throwing out an idea i wan#them to be interested too. its not fun if their hearts arent in it. we can pick p much anything lets do something well all enjoy yk? augh#i hope its ok. i hope theyre not secretly mad at me. mayb i should have been quiet. idk#i hesitate to use the word neurodivergent to describe myself bc ive never been formally diagnosed with adhd or autism#and i also dont think im negatively impacted enough by any traits i share w those disorders to qualify to have them#but i am for sure fucking abnormal about birds and vultures like. hyperfixation is the only word that fits. maybe even special interest idk#like i almost dont WANT to do this topic it weirdly feels like. selfish??? idk im just. aaaahhhhh!!! lmao#*staring haggard and weary at myself in the mirror gripping the counter with a white-knuckled grip* i will be normal i will be normal i wil
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Just watched the trailer for the next series
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
FROTHING AT THE MOUTH PISSING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
WE'RE GETTING AN EPISODE WITH THE BEATLES WE'RE GETTING AN EPISODE WITH THE BEATLES WE'RE GETTING AN EPISODE WITH THE BEATLES WE'RE GETTING AN EPISODE WITH THE BEATLES WE'RE GETTING AN EPISODE WITH THE BEATLES
LIKE MY FAVOURITE BAND EVER OMGGGGGGGGGG
IM SO EXCITEEEEEED UGHHHHH I CANNOT WAIT WHOLE MONTHS FOR THIS
also those bug monsters look so cool!!!!!!!!!! also the regency episode looks super cool!!! also the shot of Ncuti running from the 60s episode looks awesome also Ncuti and Millie's outfits look amazinggggggg
omg omg omg the beatles
#doctor who#literally squealed out loud after i saw them#alr i am now going to spend the next 3 hours trying to work out what year this is based on the haircuts and outfits /j#like its confusing me bc they have the early 60s hair but john is wearing the iconic circle glasses and#i think he only started wearing those around 1966? but in 1966 they had longer hair and moustaches#omgggg if it is 1966 that means they'd be recording sgt pepper omgggg#ughghhghghg i dont wanna have to wait months until I can see the episode I need to know nowww#actually hoping the glasses are inaccurate bc if we get robbed of george's 1966 look i will sob#omg that aside im so exciteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed its gonna be so cool#they better reference the hell out of the beatles songs
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fantasy au where will finds dragon eggs in his lil castle byers nook in the wilderness equivalent, but hardly anyone thinks they'll ever actually hatch even if they do indulge him and his fantasies about those old fossils.
still, will always makes sure to keep them safe and warm, tending to them with the same sweetness he treats all creatures. he talks to them so they're not lonely by telling them about his day as he's settling into bed and playing them music when he gets ready in the morning. he changes the blankets they nest in, wrapping them up nice and snug. he laces up his boots and ventures out to retrieve them always, no matter the weather, whenever lonnie's had enough of his delusions and thrown them away somewhere, hoping that he'll finally give up on this boyish folly of his.
mike is different, though. he's always had faith in will's dragon eggs, and he's actually the first person that will showed them to (something something it's part of those "special privileges" he's always bragging about to dustin and lucas). he made will a list of all the names he thinks might fit them, for when they hatch of course, and it's one that they're constantly adding to whenever they think of a new one.
will's never said it aloud, but while he fully supports this list, and appreciates it dearly, he's always intended on letting mike name the blue one whatever he so desires. they're his dragons, yes, but will trusts mike and he wants him to be a part of this. he is a part of this already, he always has been, and will would have it no other way.
#takes the duffers' canon mpreg tht's horrific and turns it into something cool where will can get a dragon like he's always wanted#bc he deserves it 👍#he is Mother#the eggs take ages to hatch n i imagine that they go through a s3 arc where mike gives up hope and in an argument tells will that they'll#never hatch and in will's heartbreak and rage he accidentally knocks the blue one over and it cracks :(#but it's okay!#and then Danger^tm finds them bc of course it fucking does but thts when the eggs finally hatch and um. well. yes they are babies#tht can only just barely warm up a marshmallow but thts ok bc they'll grow in time and its all abt Belief in oneself yk . nods at u#i jus like to think of will with a lil baby dragon on his shoulder n mike with one perched on his hand tht almost singes his brows off#and will's is the one that's more headstrong and snippy & mike's is the one that's more mellow n sweet#bc complementary natures n all that :^)#also i say the blue one's mike's but rly they belong to both of them bc they're the parents. in case tht wasn't clear 🧐#au#mine#jus me n my aus against da world........
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24 year old diehard dēmonata fan whos going to start very real beef with children over it if the show actually happens. ill argue with children. not even worried about it. fuck them kids
#IM KIDDING I WOULDNT id be genuinely overjoyed to see kids getting into it#bc i can only hope its as cool to them as it was for me as an 11-12 year old#i specifically do not want this to show up in the tag bc i dont want kids to think id actually be mean to them over it 😭#like no have fun!! youre the target audience. im so stoked for horror made for kids dude you have no idea
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#fucking. god dammit. i hype myself up like: fuck it i dont want a uk phd#and then i fucking pre interview. which was a full on fucking hour long interview and im reminded how#fucking cool the project is. like hhhhh why cant u b in the us????#they can only pick one candidate. and like oh yea we could send u to the arctic or southern ocean#fuck u thats so cool hhhhhh ugh. im hoping when i visit [redacted] school i fall in love so completely that i can say no#but ugh its so so cool. and i feel like they were impressed with me. like i feel the interview went well#and one guy was like: even if u dont end up here youll have a stellar research career. and im like 😭#like i kno im not a perfect fit for the project but like im. i think my brain is good at some things so i could contribute things#ugh now im all shaky a sweaty. and after i visit the other school i have to immediately let the uk school kno if i wanna comit to them#then i could maybe visit the lab. tho idk when id have the time to fucking fly to the uk#uuuuuugh school bullshit. so stressful. but im glad they think what ive done is cool#like i feel so dumb all the time bc the trauma of being dyslexic in the american public school system that as soon as someone says im smart#or impressive im like 😭😭😭#also they asked how i feel abt writing papers and i was like: convention is bullshit and i dont think thats what the guy was expecting lmao#its true tho. fuck convention. challenge convention. be open to new ideas. otherwise whats the point#sigh. well i felt awful this morning. i mean. its only like 9.30 now but i feel a bit better now#since my last interview was a disaster i feel way better abt my interviewing skills now. which is good bc i have 2 more looming#unrelated
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me being largely nonhuman/antihuman and a lesbian, therefore being forced by my brain to be attracted to humans has actually allowed me to fully understand how men attracted women who say they wish they were lesbians are real and based and do not deserve the hate they get. like girl i get it thats literally how i feel about you.
no offense to the good humans out there #notallhumans <3
#i dont actually like or trust women either. bc theyre humans. im just kind of forced into this i think...?#theres only one race: the human race#and im lowkey really really REALLY racist#/hj#the only people who dont annoy me in That One Way eventually are nonhuman or at the very least humans who believe they arent human#or are super autistic and love beasts and creatures#pretty much everyone who recognizes themselves as human unquestioningly and takes a complete all encompassing pride in it#or spews like. ''power of humanity <3'' & sucks off the human spirit casually or loves human centered themes at all is inevitably annoying#like no actually humans arent special in the slightest and if any other animal species had hands theyd probably do a lot better#AND theyd be less entitled about it. humans should stop killing everyone and maybe then ill listen to them about how cool they are.#every problem humans have ever solved was caused by humans in the first place how do you expect me to bow down and praise them#just on the basis that they were born human & therefore everything they do for anything else is heartwarming & merciful & divine in some wa#when theyre just cleaning up their species' own mess#humans are a lot like men in that they want to cry and whine about the problems theyre facing when their own people did that#and then expect a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum to pick up the mess they were complicit in making for centuries.#which is why i completely understand those man attracted women. the problem is basically the same one but its all inclusive this time#youre allowed to feel attacked for any of this but literally nobody can convince me it isnt the exact same thing bc it is.#and if you want to ''not all humans'' me. then tell me exactly what that sounds like and try to draw parallels as to why thats stupid. ty#humans that struggle still deserve sympathy just like men who struggle under patriarchy#but i dont have to take shit from them when theyre being weird or think theyre better or more deserving of life either.#no one ''deserves'' anything idiot thats just some bs your psyche is telling you to make you feel better#we're all just here to survive. play and have fun. and ideally. minimize suffering when we can. then die. thats like. all of it. thats life#nonhuman#op#my human mutuals are ''some of the good ones'' as they say lmao#sorry about my quirky ramble i just hope some more nonhuman people find this posts tags and Get It
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tomb raider I-III remake is so fun btw. doesn't feel that old at all despite some weird glitches. I notice I prefer the old graphics but it's fun being able to toggle between new and old so easily
#I want to play them all sometime#for some reason I have had game 4 and 6 from the thrift store in my nightstand drawers for years#to give me strength in my sleep....#otherwise I only play LAU trilogy and 2013#I have rise and shadow bc it's so cheap sometimes but I'm not really into pc gaming lately#I hope they remake 4-6 even though I heard especially 6 is kinda shit#reboot trilogy would also be cool but idk... I want them on switch and idk if its possible#if they can put underworld on wii they can put those games on switch!!!#I loved playing underworld on wii but I got hit with a game ruining glitch near the end...#actually I only finished the ds version LOL#sorry for my ramblings but LAU games are some of my special childhood memories#Legend is the first game I was really impressed with when I was 8 or 9 and watching my sister and cousin play#I still have ukranian Legend somewhere.. maybe for my nightstand#tomb raider
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tomorrow so scary....
#i need to come in to have an 5min. interview to make sure i didnt plagiarize for a group project etc (all groups gotta do this interview)#and to make sure i know my stuff whatever.#BUT.#you see how i said it was a group project? where 3 people were supposed to work together?? yeah. did not happen.#silly ol me did it all by themself.#:P#they did not answer any of the messages i send with the limited info i had on either of them (randomly assigned <3)#i didnt even turn it in until a week before the deadline bc i had hope they might message.#but no <3#its fineee its my fav course atm and the only reason i chose this study =w=b PLUS i got to do it about vocaloid now <33 YAY#but like. what if they DO show up to the interview..... what then.....#like. im 90% sure they wont bc. duh.#sillyposting#god it would be so awesome if they did show up tho.#im hoping i can keep my cool if that happens bc =3= god the balls to do that.#augh.....#scary......#i dont think they will come. i do not.#but what if...........
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I've been screaming about this for 11 years, thank you.
sorry i love homosexuals
#sorry to add im just still screaming about it bc i love it and i love this art#homestuck#jake#dirk#dirkjake#lollipop chainsaw#decap#otp#lmao @ me being like 'wait i did this too' no u fuckass u slapped together a shitty edit and called it a day lol#fave#seriously tho im unhinged about decap dirk i will see any character get beheaded and be like '0/10 dirk did it better'#im still chasing the high of the volcano upd8 like i have an unfinished embroidery i did of that scene somewhere lmao#sorry to tag dump all this where op and person i rb from can see but bro... i love this shit#its cute. i love both media. jakes leg hair. did i mention its cute? also piercings dirk will always have a specialplace in my heart#(bc im a piercings dirk and ppl used to criticize me for keeping them in while cosplaying and im pretending im not still upset abt it)#but yeah good art op love this shit#thank u person i rb from for putting it where i can see it on my dash im glad i scrolled this far if only to see this lol#while im tag dumping bc im embarrassed... how do we feel about jake having to be the one who decaps dirk to save him?#been a hot minute since i played lollipop chainsaw but that was hilarious#i wonder if it has backwards compatibility or do i need to bring my 360 upstairs hmmmmmmm#sounds like a problem for future cori to consider tackling lol#my bro lost my original copy which had a hotd skin for juliet and im just hoping the replacement copy he bought me has the same one#or was it the kore wa zombie desu ka skin idr which one the gamestop version had like i had to figure out where i was buyin it on day 1#when i went to buy it there was even a juliet cosplayer also buying it with a cool chainsaw too that was fun#and then like a year later i went to an msi concert in juliet cosplay which was fun (i did that twice bc i was in college and they...#...ofc came to nyc again when they toured the next year again)#i wish id had time to make the cosplay but i didnt have my sewing machine and was more occupied w homestuck cosplays#but i bought it and still have it even tho i sure as shit aint gonna fit in that again lmao i think i snapped some seams last time#but yknow ive moved on to other things like remaking my dirk and bro cosplays from the same time period lmaoo#anyways this has been a ramble and a half sorry to anyone reading this far im just embarrassed abt being excited over this lol
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i did spend $78.62 today Its true .
#the diner i went to was wayyy more expensive than i was expecting ill avoid doing that next time.. i just saw they had philly cheesesteak#and i blacked out bc i was so excited#so next saturday ill prolly just eat at home :] or order delivery ir something of that nature. just something small...#the cafe was wayy cheaper than i was exoecting tho it was only 13.96 for a london fog breakfast sandwich And brownie... which is so cool#compared to the diner where i judt got s philly cheesesteak combo (w/ peach smoothie 🤤 (the smoothie wasnt actually that great but it also#wasnt bad)#and it was . 24.55.......#it was a very filling meal tho like im still full i almost couldnt finish my fries. so not super complaining#just in the future i might try 2 eat a little lighter..and also eat somefing less greasy bc i am feeling a bit sickly from the grease#BUT ! thats ok. thats all i have 2 go 2 bed now or ill lose a bedtime point#im sososososo glad that the sheet system is working tho like genuinely i think ive been doing a lot better :] altho maybe im only#thinking that bc today was nice LOL. whichever it is im happy abt it !! ik its only myyy abt to be 4th week doing it. buttt im still happy#ive tried 2 do stuff like this b4 and it just hasnt worked....#tbh the sheet is working so well bc i can just auto calculate math ... so im kind of getting the feeling that transferring it 2 an actual#real life sheet With the cutesy metallic stars wont be helpful. but i want them the cutesy metallic stars...#i could just use the sheet in conjuction. and the irl sheet could just be a fun reminder visualization thang... :]#im genuinely like hopeful. i didnt meet anybody or rly talk 2 anybody today but thats ok . its so nice t just get out of the house..#im hoping once i start going 2 the library every week maybe other regulars will like talk to me yk...#esp once i ermmm get school finished. sincw obviously nobodys gonna talk 2 me while ive got my bigass headphones on doing schoolwork.#ugh sigh i have 2 confiscate my bedtime point its 2 late niw. oh well... gn noww
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touhou makes me SOOOO happy
#the bin#i so much want to know people qho share my interests but alas i do not. my little sister seems to think touhou is cool though so :)#i wanna get her into it but unfortunately she cant play the games bc they r too hard. i struggle with them and im wayy older than her#i bet she would like a lot of the things i like so i should show stuff to her. she is so good. i havent got to see her in awhile but she is#doing so much better now that she is in school and has friends and especially now that she doesnt live with our dad. im excited to see her#ill probs go see her in January/February i hope. it makes me so happy and emotional how well she is doing bc i know how hard it was before#but shes doing so well now! she wears jeans! her mental health has improved enough that she not only can wear clothes wothout dying but#she wears jeans! thats amazing. im just so happy that she is getting the chance to have a happy childhood because i want that for them#i want it for all kids but its especially nice to know that my little siblings are finally able to be happy and ok. i miss her so much#this WAS a post about touhou but then i just started talking about my sister. idk. i gotta make a playlist of touhou music to send her#she loves chimata bc shes so colorful so i wanna send her lots of chimata stuff
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