#bc everything i post is about byler

[thebestfriendstoloverstrope]

something something will byers WILL shoot a gun in s5, multiple times, and it'll work to keep the monsters at bay for a while, but in the end, when it really matters, the gun won't work as a line of defense against the horrors and will, as his instincts/defense mechanism kicks in, will suddenly unleash his powers in a way to protect himself and fight back. because the gun represents who his father wanted him to be (someone who fits in, someone who's normal, someone who belongs) and the monsters represent the homophobia and general lack of acceptance of outcasts in the world, and will's powers being what he needs to embrace to fight off the horrors will represent will needing to embrace himself. because forcing yourself to be normal is not the answer to fighting the bigotry of the world; accepting yourself for exactly who you are is your strength, and it will help you come out on top in the end.

[chirpsythismorning]

Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?

[a-shade-of-green]

me reading an aggressive comment in my ao3 inbox because someone didn't like how i ended my story:

p.s. dont take me too seriously

[muppetbyers]

idk man but i think theres such a connection between will being possessed in s2 and like 'what happens when my boy is gone' and will giving the painting to mike under el's name. just like... will being replaced and then replacing himself. and like his entire person was being replaced by the mf, but also everything that he said was from el with the painting and speech was intrinsically his and his alone. and how his arc since s1 has been about hiding but also being right there. and how its all tied to his queerness. and how ideally in s5 this should lead to will not hiding/moving on from his identity and his feelings, but instead embracing them.

[castleclerics]

hate that i have to choose between bylertwt and here if i want to see just a little byler content bc on one hand you got ppl not even believing they’ll be endgame or saying every rainbow in st is a gay byler reference then on the other everyone thinks byler wont be important to the plot at all when mike and will are two very important characters for the next season and are going to team up. i hate it there and here. like there’s no middleground for me anywhere 😭😭 does anyone else feel like this like i guess i have to mute byler on here idk

more in tags goodnight

[rotisseries]

then sit☺️

[uchimakis]

been seeing so much unnecessary bi mike slander on my dash recently. sometimes selfcare is blocking 15 people and going into the bi mike tag for an hour <3

[puff-hugs]

Tell me all the spoilers

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

[bylerpining]

As I was making my byler playlist (which I have pinned btw) I added the song "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" and was floored by how fitting it was for them and specifically how well it corresponds to Mike's feelings for Will, like down to every lyric.

"What started out as friendship has grown stronger"?? "I only wish I had the strength to let it show"?? "Even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight"?? Come on.

A few days later I started rewatching s3, and in the very first episode, what song is playing during one of mileven's first makeout scenes??? Yeah. When I saw it I was shook and kinda laughed it off as a weird coincidence, but now that I'm thinking about it again I think it says something that I immediately clocked it as a byler-related song without even knowing it was used in the show.

Obviously, everything down to the music chosen in a scene is very intentional, so it's interesting that they chose this song to be playing during a scene with Mike and El. Not only that, but the scene starts with a deliberate shot of the radio before cutting over to them. It's possible that here they're hinting at what's really going on with Mike beneath the surface despite everything happening with El throughout s3. It's especially clear during those last scenes of the season, where he has very opposite reactions to his goodbyes to El and to Will, seemingly realizing those feelings (I need to make a separate post bc I have so many thoughts UGH).

That was so much longer than I thought it would be lmao oops

[thebestfriendstoloverstrope]

gotta say i can't wait to become a filmmaker who is of tumblr fangirl origins. i can and WILL make queer media with characters you can overanalyze and obsess over, and the fans of my media WILL rest assured in the knowledge that every detail is very much just as intentional as they think. if fans are making extremely elaborate deep dive essays about the parallels and coincidences, then i'll know i've done my job right. maybe everything i write won't turn out exactly the way fans hope (you literally can't please everyone), but i'll do everything i can to make the payoff feel worth it.

[noihavenosanitythanksforasking]

tldr: the story of how i figured out im gay and why i relate to byler so much. aka why its good rep

this was not supposed to be this long

my best friend doesnt like stranger things bc she thinks the metaphorical texture of the show is gross feeling(valid) but she follows me on here and has had to block the byler tag bc its all i post about these days and shes not into it.

anyways it made me think about why i love byler so much and it definitely has to do with the fact that as a queer person i relate super heavily to their story. being gay is way more acceptable now and i was born in 07 so its not like its was considered a death sentence to be gay in general. however i grew up in the classical church. my mom was part of a religious cult in highschool and i was my parents first kid and they were super protective of me. Im also autistic and i spent most of my childhood very worried about doing and acting the right way to make people accept me. my parents favorite story to tell people about my childhood is that when i finally graduated my crib and got a toddler bed they were worried that i would never let them sleep again. that didnt happen tho, in fact i refused to get out of bed with out express permission and would lay there until they came told me i could get up.

id like to say that i was homophobic growing up but not in the traditional sense. it was more that i was actually afraid of gay people. No one around me ever really said anything blatantly homophobic or had radical ideas about the subject but we were so deep into the church and i was always afraid of everything. when i was in elementary school we would do drills. call and response cult like stuff. theyd ask us to define sin and wed spout off this memorized line about going agaisnt gods will in action or thought or intention. i didnt even know what a gay meant until i got to middle school and the entire idea terrified me. because thats not allowed and when someone brings it up all the adults get that one look on their face and the pastor says that homosexuality is a sin or wtv.

i had this one friend, lets call her jane, at the time. i really liked her but she was kind of a delinquent, she didnt have the best home life and she was kind if an angry kid so when she came out to our friend group as bisexual in i think 7th grade, we (the rest of the group was v religious ) were concerned about it but not really surprised. we werent supportive but we werent angry either. it was more like we werent sure what to do. she had always been a problem child so it didnt seem to out of the blue for someone like her to like girls so we just kind of tried not to talk about it again.

I was a pretty big drama kid at the time( still am) (i swear i have a point to this) and i became friends with this one girl. lets call her belle. anyways i reallllyyyy liked belle i dont think i had a crush on her but i thought she was really cool and fun and liked hanging around her. we werent really close much to my past and present dismay but when i did hang out with her i always had a fun time. a few years later she told me that she was bisexual. this pretty much broke my little brain. because belle was cool and fun and normal and it was the first time when i realized that maybe there was something wrong with the way my church worked. they had to be wrong because there was no way belle was evil and going to hell. i loved being friends with her and i couldn't accept the fact that her liking girls changed anything. she still felt like the same person. still the topic was terrifying to me, i was so afraid that i was wrong or maybe just not smart enough to see the truth. so many people around me that i grew up being told knew what was right, knew what god was telling us said that it was wrong so maybe i just didnt get it. maybe i wasnt close enough to god to understand what made gay people so bad. still something changed from then and the next year i ended up being close to this girl, lets call her beth, (all my other friends had either moved on or were on different sides of our grade and tbh i was terrified of her but i had no one else). Anyways beth also had a crazy homelife she talked a lot about how she hated her family and how she would kill her dad if she could. she also ate highlighters, just drew on her tongue, and sold pictures of her feet on instagram to make money. needless to say as soon as i hit highschool i never spoke to her again, she freaked me out. anyway one day me and beth were walking at recess and she turns to me and tells me that im gay. i knew she was pan at this point and i didnt really care though looking back on it she was definitely flirting with me. I got freaked out and told her there was no way i was gay and assumed that she just wanted me to like her back but id had a crush on a guy before so i couldnt be gay.

speaking of this guy, he sat next to belle in my science class in 6th grade. i sat behind them and they were good friends. we were sort of a trio in that class and i thought he was really nice and funny. he was the first guy id ever been friends with and i assumed that the fact that i enjoyed hanging out with him and having fun meant that i must have a crush on him. because girls and boys cant just be friends. thats what everyone always said at least. one day we were texting and he told me that he liked me and wanted to go out. i csnt describe the feeling i got then. it was this werid mix of anxiety and fear and knowing that i should be excited but instead i was disappointed. and i didnt know why. i told him i wasnt allowed to date til 16 and if he still wanted me then whe could date then. i cried about it for almost a year. which doesnt make any sense because i rejected him not the other way around. but i felt heartbroken. im still not really sure why.

when beth told me i was gay i p much told her to f off in the most good christian way possible but i still thought about it. the idea felt so overwhelming and i couldnt think about it without wanting to have a panic attack so i stopped thinking about it. then i had a gay dream about jane and honestly i should have figured it out then but somehow i completely disregarded.

i changed schools for high school so i was with a lot of new people. i wanted a fresh start. at the time i felt like id been pretending to be someone else for my whole life and i hoped that starting over would help me find myself or something. I always sort of knew i was different from other kids i never felt like we had much in common or something but i could never put a finger of what it was (it was the autism). when i started highschool my main goal was to make friends on my own and conquer my social anxiety when had been crippling throughout middle and elementary. i ended up meeting this girl, lets call her cassie, (so many people ikik) and we became super close. she had a lot of issues as well bc apparently i attract unstable people. she was by far the worst id dealt with though. she was suicidal, ocd, anorexic and hurt her self a lot. it was a very codependent friendship but we were attached at the hip. she was my whole world at the time, nothing else really mattered more than her not killing herself. one day we were texting after midnight and she told me that she thought she might be bisexual and i told her a didnt care. i really didnt care i was more worried about her killing herself. she said she had a crush on someone but wouldnt tell me who and i let the topic die.

then heartstopper came out on netflix and i got DEAD sick. i couldnt even speak. it was very bad. anyways i had a computer at this point and was looking for something to watch. i settled on heartstopper because id heard so many good things about it and i was morbidly( at the time) curious. i watched the entire show in one sitting. i was scared my mom would find out and when she did find out she gave me this hesitant look and said she didnt love the idea of me watching that kind of stuff. i watched it anyways. i was mesmerized dude. the scene of nick nelson in his bedroom, on the verge of tears searching the internet for anwsers was so powerful to me and it was like something clicked in my brain.

what if i am gay??

id never let myself actually ask mysrlf that before. id never dared to even think it was a possibility because of course im straight. id know if i liked girls. but i sat there dead sick and dying slowly and looked over at my book case at all my favorite books. i looked up on youtube how to tell if your bisexual (bc ofc i like guys duh) and it said something about thinking about how you feel about fictional characters and i sat and i thought. it was a very overwhelming week. i thought back to middle school and the strange possessiveness i had over my best friend at the time, the feeling of hurt i always seemed to have when she hung out with someone else. i hated that part of myself. i felt validated in my feelings at the time but i never knew why i felt that way and it felt unfair to her.

at the time i was talking to a guy. he was nice and pretty chill but i sort of knew i didnt like him the way he liked me. i wanted to though. i wanted to like him so freaking badly. so i kept taking to him. id be on the phone with him for 5 hours just talking about nothing and tell myself that this was what its like to like someone. it wasnt a bad experience, he was nice and i liked to talk to him. but i didnt have feelings for him. one night i texted cassie back and told her that maybe i was bi too. she was from a christian household too and we talked for a while one what we should do.

my parents have always had this policy of being honest with each other when sometbing happens in our lives. which i think is pretty normal but my autistic ahh took it very seriously. almost as soon as i started questioning i told them. bad idea, was not ready. i was so scared that somehow theyd look at me and figure out that i was thinking about it, and that theyd be mad that i didnt talk to them about it. i said it at dinner and there was legit forks dropped. my mom took me on a 2 hour long walk to try and explain myself which was HELL because i couldnt even understand what was going on.

"why do you think you like girls??"

"idk"

they eventually dropped the subject.

soon after that me and cassies relationship started to get werid. after being so codependent for so long we had thsi strange sort of toxic need for each other to be sane or something. she confessed that she had a crush on me and i really wasnt sure how to feel about it. she was so important to me and the trauma and confusion and drama of our friendship got all jumbled in my head and we fell into some sort of homo romantic something. we never did anything besides holding hands a few times, but we did that before either of us came out anyways. we went to summer camp summer after freshmen year and shit really hit the fan and we ended up having a friendship breakup. she told me afterwards that she was a devoted christian now, that god had saved her from herself and that now she was straight. i was really lost the rest of that summer. i wasnt sure what to do at all, who i was or what i was supposed to do now that i left the person i had dedicated the past year of my life and my mental health too. i was really suicidal for a few months after that but slowly i got better.

second semester of sophomore year i had my first real crush on one of my close friends at the time. she was straight which sucked but those 6 months of my life were some of the most terrible exhilarating experiences of my life. thats how i knew i wasnt wrong. bc theres no heterosexual option for wanting to make out with a girl in a dirty school bathroom stall.

it was hard though, being in love with someone you know will never feel that way about you. even if at the time i had mostly gotten over the majority of my internalized homophobia theres still that feeling of guilt. you feel so gross and creepy and unwanted. this person doesnt want you, they dont even want your gender but you cant let it go. its a very lonely feeling.

it was around the same time that i figured out that i was a lesbian. after i felt what it was like to like someone, really like someone. to be able to identify that feeling as romantic feelings, it was pretty obvious that i didnt like guys. i felt really bad about the guy i was talking too. he had no idea and id just heen leading him on for almost a year. i felt super shitty about it.

idk if that was coherent but i guess thats why i love byler so much. it feels so raw and real to me. i watch the van scene and i see myself. i see how hard it was and how much i hated myself and wanted so badly to be normal and to be able to talk about boys with my friends without feeling uncomfortable. i see the way mike is with el and i see myself with that boy from middle school. so desperate for affection and so so confused. this feeling of guilt and regret, the heartbreak of loosing someone that you couldve had but you dont want. i want to want it but i dont and its so heartbreaking.

i almost think its a worse feeling that being broken up with. i fell in love with a girl recently and she ended up ending things. i was super upset about it cried for a long time. but still. its not the same hurt. it hurts but its not the same deep primal hurt. sitting on my bathroom floor at 13 years old sobbing my eyes out because im not with a boy that i rejected. wishing that things were different but not wanting to actually change. i broke my own heart and i didnt even mean too

[luv-byers]

I think some ppl forget that byler not being endgame would be the greatest waste of time EVER, specially for Will’s arc. Now let me explain.

Ofc Will is one of the most (if not the most) complex character of the show, his connection to the upside down is essential for the plot and in s5 we’ll discover many more things. His character is not defined by his sexuality only, ofc, but it is an important thing, specifically if we’re talking about the 80’s. Which leads us to the main point of this post: his love interest.

Him being the only character who hasn’t had any love interest/crush, or that actually avoids talking about love is something that they remind us every season.

S1: didn’t care that the pretty girl (don’t remember her name srry) was crying at his funeral.

- also, foreshadowing that he might be gay (lonnie called him slurs, the bullies at school doing the same…)

S2: he didn’t want to dance with the girl at the SB

S3: “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” “i’m not gonna fall in love…”

S4: “i think there’s someone he likes”

But we never get an actual answer. What we expect at the end of the show is seeing him with someone, to be in love, to show that he can also find someone to love just like everyone.

Him being gay adds more depth to his character, bc now we know why he wasn’t interested in girls at all, and also why he’s so scared to fall in love: bc it would be with a man, and he knows he wouldn’t be accepted.

The Duffers choosing Mike to be not only his love interest, but THE ONLY ONE, is a wild take. It’s not a simple crush.. it’s pure LOVE, he’s been in love for years. They could’ve chosen anyone, ANYONE, but they wanted Mike to play that part. Now tell me, why would they do that if it would be a simple “no, i dont like u back lmao, i care ab my gf” at the end? Why would they choose to waste 1 out of the 2 queer characters’ love story?

“It’s so vecna has something to torment him with” that’s one of the most stupid shit i’ve ever heard.

Vecna has plenty of things to torment him with: his ab*siv3 dad, the bullying he’s dealt with since he was a kid, everything he went through in the UD, him being gay, etc etc

They could’ve kept it platonic: will doesn’t want vecna to “tell” mike he’s gay bc that’s his best friend and he doesn’t want him to hate him for that. Or simply ANYONE ELSE. Mike didn’t have to be part of that trauma yk.

They could’ve added a character to be his love interest, maybe in s3, then a little scene with him in s4 to remind us that he’ll be present in s5 and then that’s it, happy ending.

Why did they choose to write mileven in such a poor way compared to other canon ships in the show, and on the other hand give us emotional, tender and intimate moments with byler if they didn’t intend to make them endgame?

When you make scenes be so easily misinterpreted you are not being clear. If mileven was clearly endgame there would be no “ship war”, bc it would be obvious. The reason why there are plenty of analysis and byler proof is bc they wanted us to notice those things. Bc guess what: if we have proof is bc there is something to prove.

They would’ve avoided any type of hint that could lead us to believe that Mike could be in love with him as well, or that he’s very queer coded.

Things like “the closet” (official soundtrack), the one way sign, him looking at will’s lips constantly, and other things, all that would be GONE.

Plus, they would wanna promote mileven and make us believe that they are THE main couple. For example, that final take? Why tf are will and mike together, alongside with other two canon couples, and then El at the front? Why isn’t Mike with her? They will defeat the evil with the power of love, right? They’ll be the powerful couple of the show… right? Doesn’t seem like it.

If Will gets rejected, not only everything they’ve been building since the beginning will be for absolutely NOTHING, but also things will be even WORSE than before.

Will, after getting rejected by Mike, will not be able to even look at him in the eyes. Not only he got rejected, not only Mike is his best friend, but also he’s a BOY. So, not only he confessed his feelings which “are not mutual” but also he just came out of the closet. How great is that? Even if they tried to play it cool afterwards I know that Will would be way too embarrassed to ignore it, so they would end up not talking to each other.

So not only they wasted a great part of Will’s character but also one of the main friendships of the show. All for what? To keep on going with mileven? To use a queer character’s feelings for their own good? After making so many people get bored of it or losing hope after season 4? After letting us see that she works better on herself without mike? What kind of shitty promo is this?

To sum up, byler/mike’s internalized homophobia would make Mike’s character even deeper and would explain some things that he’s done/said. If it wasn’t that and he was just being an idiot, then wow, they definitely nailed it……..

[wheeler-fan]

this is a post for bylers milevens idk everyone in the fandom before I'll go crazy cuz I'm seriously tired rn

we've got the og party photos guys we won so bad, the last time we actually had them all together was in s2.

i feel like there's a war (no surprise in this fandom i guess) and it looks like bylers hate the core four and milevens the og party and it's literally sick, i get that in the core four there's no byler and in the og party there's no mileven but not everything is about ships omg😭😭

I'm a mileven and i love BOTH core four and og party they're all my children I'm literally jumping every time i see them together. I wanted to enjoy the og party photos but ofc people are going crazy again, everywhere i go i see bylers being like "lmao milevens probably shit themselves we won again" and like no stop😕😕 i get it you have mike and will together it's a huge reason to be happy you guys totally deserve it, i would be screaming if i would got core four photos bc mileven would be there (even if that wouldn't be exactly a mileven content but the core four) but i would never make an anti byler post or whatever to laugh at you guys bc i have a mileven content and you don't have byler like what's the point 😭 I won't lie I'm sad that i haven't got them in one frame but it's not the end of the world bc this is not about the ships, it's about giving us an information how filming s5 is looking right now😭I'm happy that we have og party photos so I'm asking kindly.. can we please just enjoy them together? you can make as many posts about new byler content as u want but please can you stop talking about mileven in a negative way and just enjoy your ship😕 cuz i just want to enjoy the og party, the nancy&mike talk and everything without seeing how people make everything about byler and I'm really sorry if I sounded annoying I'm not trying to say something like "don't enjoy byler content cuz i haven't got mileven👹👹" I'm just asking if you guys can enjoy it without making fun of milevens bc in this day we haven't get anything 😕

[bylrlve]

Warning! Potential leaks for season five of Stranger Things!

Alex (aka @dyersfilms on twitter, used to be swiftlynatalia) is the person who successfully leaked most of season 4 due to her knowing a source. She did, however, insist Byler was entirely platonic that season and they fought for most of it and only made up at the end in the pizza van, so…

Here’s her saying she won’t post any byler leaks this time around, which she has said previously.

She got a message saying they’re all fake, and she thinks they all are, so keep that in mind.

Here’s a short one: Will distancing himself from the party bc it’s too hard to be closeted and to be around Mike. If real? Endgame fr.

A ‘leak’ from episode one where shit goes down after the opening scene of Will singing SISOSIG, Will falls, and Mike helps him up,

Here’s an extremely detailed one that casually drops Mileven breakup, Robin-Mike bonding over Vickie and Will, Will trying to avoid Mike ‘confronting him about the painting’, Mike and Jonathan fighting over Will’s safety. Nothing here is debunkable but…. Yeah. God, would it be nice, though.

The two most interesting ones. First, an ask that’s almost entirely plausible except for the mileven part - and that part, specifically, I’m calling bullshit on bc it claims that Hopper is still on the Mike Hate Train. It was made abundantly clear, after their talk and their awkwardly long hug at the end of season 4, that that’s in the past. Besides, it just wouldn’t fit tonally. S3 was the heterosexual-cliché, silly filler season. S5? Nah. Can’t 100% say it’s fake, but even Alex agrees this one isn’t real.

Lastly, an interesting one that’s plausible throughout which claims Mike gets seriously injured and spends some time in hospital. Will stays by his bedside after everyone else leaves and kisses Mike on the forehead. Mike wakes up after he leaves - I think the insinuation is that Mike does a Half-Blood Prince and wakes up knowing that someone he felt safe with was there, but he doesn’t know who it was. If that’s legit? As I said, endgame fr.

I do want to note that both the mileven and Byler asks word the ‘main character getting injured part’ as everyone being ‘shaken up’ so there are a few options: it’s the same person with legit leaks, and Byler isn’t endgame. That, I’d be more willing to accept, cautious as I am, were it not for the Hopper part, which sticks out like a sore thumb. Second option: it’s the same person messing around. Third: it’s two people, one building on the other.

Cannot emphasise enough that these are most likely just bored people having fun, but I figured I’d share them all. The last one is getting passed around the tag sans context, and I wanted to clarify everything else Alex has received. Do not get your hopes up about Byler based solely on these.

Letting my imagination run absolutely wild here for just a moment, however: Maya and Vickie are confirmed to be filming at the hospital set, presumably visiting someone. There’s also a pic of someone with bloody shoes. Imagine if Robin visits Mike in the hospital, witnesses some Platinum-Tier Will Byers Pining™️, and ends up talking to Mike after he wakes up - no mention of how long he stays there.

Lastly, it is fun comparing these to the more doom-and-gloom (re: Mike) leaks Sapphicjopper on twitter got. The awesome @solgmorell has a post explaining those in detail.

Oh, and an interview came out today where Shawn Levy said something insane but, you know, water is wet.

[lunabug2004]

**Warning: this post is not actually Byler or Stranger Things related (specifically)! Rather, it is a post about the blog, more specifically why I haven't been very active recently, but I do mention these things and I tagged them bc they are what my blog is about, therefore the ppl who know me probably do through these tags, so it felt right to do so. If anyone would like me to remove these tags, just say the words and I will!**

I'm writing this post because I want to apologize for being so inactive lately. Now, I know there's not anyone who sits and waits for me to post or celebrated every time I post or anything like that, but I still feel guilty. I've felt like such a part of the Byler (and ST) community here on Tumblr for the short amount of time that I've been on here, so idk, I just feel like I'm letting myself down ig, and possibly others for not contributing to this community I love so much.

I realize this is kinda sounding like a goodbye post, but it's absolutely not! It's actually kinda the opposite, because I'm here to say that I'm going to try to start posting regularly again! However... I still can't say that in full confidence just yet.

I'm now going to go into the reason(s) I've been so distant from this blog lately, and it may get a little personal, so feel free to scroll past if you don't wanna read anything more :) [also very slight trigger warning for bad mental states and terminal illness]

Okay, I'm aware I just said "reasons", as in plural, but there's really only one main reason that has kinda branched off into more (in a way). So what started it all: my uncle, who I've grown up quite close to, as all my family is very close (for example, growing up, we would have "family night"s every weekend where all ~10 of us would sit around and play games, laughing and talking for hours on end) was diagnosed with a very rapidly spreading terminal illness. Now, I'm not going to go into enough detail to say what it is, but I will say that his current life expectancy is 2-5 years, probably even less due to his severity. He also has a 13 year old daughter, who is now being faced with this awful situation, as well. This whole thing, as one would probably guess, has rocked my family to the core.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I am someone who does not get emotional. I rarely ever cry. I bring this up because one of the reasons I'm finding it hard to be active is because right now, I'm dealing with a lot of guilt and grief and part of the reason I'm feeling it so deeply is because I haven't cried over him yet. I feel like an awful human being, I feel like an awful niece. I just feel awful. His daughter, that I mentioned before, has always been closer to me than any of my other (younger) cousins have, so I feel even more awful for her and the fact that she is having to deal with all of this at such a young age. Anyways, to get to the point, these past few months I've been feeling like absolute garbage, and I've been so mad at the world it's honestly not even describable.

Okay, now, where does this blog come in? Well, at first I distanced myself just because I couldn't find the motivation to post, however I was still using ST and Byler to distract myself from it all. I couldn't think about really anything but my family, ST, and finals by the last week of this school semester. Then, finally, because of the break, I could sit down and find pure comfort in both Stranger Things (and my favorite Thai BLs) again. I thought about actively posting on the blog again. But then the wrapping happened. And it's like one of the only things that was bringing me comfort was also suddenly bringing me immense sadness at the same time. I knew it was coming, so I thought I would be ready, but it really overwhelmed me, and I lost all of my motivation yet again. After the comfort of spending Christmas with my family, including my uncle, I wouldn't say I feel better but I've at least more-so come to terms with everything. And I've also, still needing my #1 comfort show, already gone back to watching ST, so I finally feel like I'll be able to post again.

Now, there's other things that have been contributing to my stress, such as school in general, the thought that I might not want to be a math teacher after all (despite wanting that for as long as I can remember), my parents being stupid, and other stuff. But this is the main thing plaguing my life and my thoughts at the moment so... yeah.

I understand that this is probably stupid to some, talking about my blog and Stranger Things when this awful thing is happening in my life, and I also understand that most people probably won't even read this, but this blog and community is truly something that brings me joy, and I felt like all the the friends I've felt I've made on here deserved some type of explanation for my sudden disappearance.

If you've made it this far, congrats! I'm sorry I put you through reading this! I hope to see you when I make my next post, which will hopefully be very soon! <3

[la-plum-sefue1]

ok so, i once read this byler fic, which is one of my faves. i LOVE the concept. it was simple, but it payed off pretty well. so this is post s4 ending, not a s5 au. (if you don't want spoilers for the fic, read the spoiler free ONE SENTENCE summary at the bottom of the post :3. link will also be attached) my boys have been flirting, being snarky with each other this and that just being cringe fail like always, super attached... one thing lead to another and it begins with them being about to kiss. they somehow start with jokingly flirting and end up with mike cornering will against a desk in a corner of his unlit room as they are about to kiss until jonathan and nancy barge into the room to let them know dinner is ready. they don't get caught, but there is still so much tension in the room. nancy is real "no nonsense", so she's rushing them into coming downstairs for dinner. THEY AREN'T ABLE TO KISS. and even worse, the WHOLE GANG is staying at the wheeler's and the original sleeping arrangement between mike and will was just the two of them in mike's room AND THEY CHANGED IT TO LUCAS, DUSTIC, MIKE AND WILL ALL IN MIKE'S ROOM. so when they thought they'd just eat dinner and go back upstairs to finish what they started, THEY CHANGE THE ARRANGEMENTS. the tensions are HIGH at this point and everything's going south for their "plan", if you could even call it that. always trying to get a moment alone, but they can't. it goes on for a while, building up tension, while MORE SHIT HAPPENS TO PREVENT THEM FROM HAVING THEIR KISS. until FINALLY, after the shitshow that happened before they got back home (almost a whole day after their almost-kiss), they have to clean up and so they go alone into the basement bathroom and well there you have it. the fic keeps torturing with more situations and you're just like RRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH JUST KISS and it's just super cool, i loved it. SPOILER FREE SUMMARY: mike and will almost kiss, they're interrupted and shit keeps happening to prevent them from doing so, so tensions are HIGH. >> the link bc this fic is so kool: