#bc a beloved mutual referred to it as that once

[adamprrishcycle]

WIP Wednesday (but it’s Thursday)

I was tagged by @clotpolesonly thank you!!

This is from a fic I’ve been working on for a long time. It’s not close to seeing the light of day and this is definitely not part of any kind of final draft but here you go. Absolutely no context, enemies to lovers girlies win !!!

Parrish was sweating, the front of his shirt visibly damp and sticking to him and Ronan only let himself have the smallest of glances in his direction. The smell in the car was pure gasoline as though Parrish had spilled it all over his hands and something about the whole situation had Ronan shifting uncomfortably in his seat, oddly intrigued and equally repulsed at himself. He was no stranger to shame.

“So, I take it that was the trailer you grew up in?” Ronan said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them, thinking that if he got Parrish talking again, it would break the strange spell that had fallen upon him.

Parrish didn’t say anything.

“Come on, man, you know enough about me.”

“It’s my job to know what I know about you,” Parrish replied finally. “You don’t need to know anything about me.”

“But that’s not how it works,” Ronan protested, “and I’m already working it out in my head. Man returns to hometown and lights family home on fire. Is that why you came back? Shitty childhood? Is that why you lied about where you’re from?”

“Just stop talking,” Parrish snapped and he rubbed at his eyes with a thumb and forefinger, his hand sliding down his face before quickly putting it back on the wheel with a slight shake of his head. Ronan was drawn to those hands, fine and long with delicate fingers that circled the steering wheel in an appealing way.

“Where’s your car?”

“I left it back there,” Ronan admitted, eyes trained on the steering wheel, ignoring the night as it streamed past.

“Well, I’m not taking you back,” Parrish told him but Ronan didn’t care, he hadn’t expected to be given a ride back to his car at the scene of the crime. He only hoped that the BMW was far enough out of the way to not raise any kind of suspicion in his direction. As he considered his fate, they arrived back in town and Parrish parked in the lot of the small hotel he was staying at.

He cut the engine.

“You’re not running, then?” Ronan asked in the darkness. The light from a street lamp slid in at a low angle, lighting up Parrish’s lap where he had placed one hand, twisted but casual, the other higher up, reaching for the key in the ignition. Ronan felt Parrish glance towards him.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said seriously and he held the car key in a fist.

“Now why the fuck would you be seeing me ever again?”

Ronan turned in his seat so he could look Parrish straight in the face. The guy was an arsonist and probably having some sort of psychotic episode, and the worst part was that Ronan had sought him out, had followed him this afternoon and sat outside his hotel into the dead of night. He had climbed into Parrish’s car after all of these revelations. The sick reality of it was dawning on him. Maybe Ronan was the one having the psychotic episode.

“I’ve got a job to do,” Parrish responded coolly.

“I could report you for what I’ve just seen and you wouldn’t have a fucking job-to-do anymore,” Ronan told him, mimicking his tone.

“I don’t think you will,” said Parrish, “now get out of my car.”

Ronan would have been irritated if he hadn’t been so interested, if a part of him hadn’t enjoyed the way Parrish put those particular words together, his face a harsh and unreadable mask as he spoke. His shoulders rose and fell and he reached up and hooked one finger into the neckline of his shirt, pulling the damp material away from his chest. The car was stifling.

He climbed out and Ronan mirrored him on the other side and they slammed their doors in near synchronicity. One firm bang in the night air and then the sound of cicadas resumed.

“How’s your back?” Ronan asked over the roof.

Parrish eyed him and shook his head, still unreadable, before turning and walking away towards his room. As he walked, he lifted his arms and pulled his shirt off over his head, balling it in one hand and Ronan watched the movement of his shoulder blades above his slim waist and the dark, ragged lines that ran almost the full length of him until he disappeared into shadow beneath the overhanging balcony.

Ronan relaxed finally, his jaw tight from grinding his teeth together for the whole car ride. He rolled his shoulders, releasing the tension, sniffed, spat out the nervous taste in his mouth, then ran his fingers over the hood of Parrish’s car as he turned to leave.

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

POV you’ve informed the Queen and the Court’s Sorcerer of something and they very clearly know something that they’re not letting on

[aeoneris]

for archival reasons, and because rise has officially ended, i'm coping by looking back at the past two years and thinking about the master utsushi rabbit hole. this is based on a long reply i sent to a mutual but i think it deserved to have its own post where others can read it and i can expand further on certain details. or something. i don't know. i have no idea who will read this but if you do, please enjoy...

the ballad of master utsushi.

he was there regardless.

always watching.

waiting.

i wound up getting attached to utsushi-kyokan (master/instructor utsushi), ウツハン/utsuhan (utsushi x hunter) ship, and finding his Japanese fan community late 2021, and i've been chatting with mutuals and friends i made there since. at that time, capcom had opened up pre-orders for his nui (plushie). this plush is lovingly referred to as "Unui-kun", and people love to take him around and bring him places. here's my Unui-kun in new york city lol

fans love to dress him up and make clothing and accessories for him. had i known just how attached i would become, i would not have set my Unui-kun to ship via surface mail delivery because it took about 2-3 months extra for him to arrive... ;;

but anyway, it seemed that his popularity was growing because they continued to make more merch of him. he seems to have more than any of the other characters.

many of these are limited print/pre-order only, or were from specific events like the capcom cafe features. trying to get his merchandise became crazy, because scalpers started to pick up on how badly people wanted goodies of him?!

just how popular is this guy?! what's with the character tax!!

and how did this even happen... we're playing monster hunter, not an idol game! but i think it really speaks a lot for itself how rise had such colorful characters that you could get attached to. it seems he really jives with many female and queer players, so good on capcom for that hehe. many of the japanese fans i've met are either older women, very often mothers, or gnc, which i found to be really cool. the english-speaking utsushi fans are usually the same, too. the solidarity is real...

I found out that a lot of ppl, including myself, shared a similar experience: they missed out on a majority of utsushi's flavor text in base rise bc they didn't talk to him or the other NPCs very much during village and high rank quests, and therefore didn't even think much of him until after the fact. people double-taking when going through the game again and actually catching on to his antics... I think what really got things going was when they released his DLC voice and learned about his, uh, extremely affectionate lines towards the hunter when it comes to mew mew and blowing a kiss LOL. (the "welcome back, master!" line?!?! there's so much art of him in a maid outfit... and the way he says ace/manadeshi in his sleep at the table?!?! scandalous?!?!) even for me, he got my attention only once i saw the official art of him (realizing "hey he's got a cute design actually") and eventually encountering utsushi x hunter fanart on pixiv. another thing that got me noticing him was brian david gilbert's now deleted tweet about how zac efron and utsushi are the same. thankfully, we have the internet archive to save the existence of this post and i have to make sure people experience this lost media.

once i realized how weirdly close he was to the hunter, the gears started turning

i confirmed that ppl really did notice that it was unusual for an instructor character to refer to his pupil as "manadeshi (beloved/dearest disciple)" in the manner that he does, being so close to them in a way that felt so familiar and warm. he was already popular enough that by valentine's day 2022, fans literally sent real chocolates to capcom addressed to utsushi. i knew about this for a while, but i was shook that they wound up officially addressing that this really happened during the last update video.

after they received his chocolates, they immediately got one of the (female) illustrators on board to quickly draw that really cute valentine's day art of utsushi. the japanese tweet for that artwork had even a little bit more text than the english one…

that "i'll always be watching over you" line…

(and while i'm here, i have to mention the valentine's day art we got for 2023- i made a separate post about THAT.)

we started to suspect capcom caught on to this niche community's love for utsushi, and they started to kind of... troll us??? LOL.

throughout the previews of sunbreak last year, they would start obsessively sneaking utsushi into those chibi artworks. and when npc followers were announced, people were scrambling to find out if he was going to be one of them, but there also was some weird radio silence about him for a bit...

in one of the earlier trailers that showed the elgado hub for the first time, there was a very short part of the clip where ppl could see someone standing in the distance at the corner of the screen. all the utsushi fans went nuts because they were taking a magnifying glass and zooming up at there wondering if it was really him, because everyone wanted him to be there in sunbreak LOL.

of course we'd eventually find out that would be his perch for most of the game! it was only during the final preview trailer before the release of sunbreak did they finally announce utsushi as a follower, as if they were saving the best for last. and sunbreak dropped, we got to see him in elgado and enjoy hunting with him. and it didn't end there. he wound up being featured in two of the short stories released last summer, and we would not forget this incident.

when i think about how easy it is to just play through the story and miss out on following specific out-of-the-way flavor texts, let alone know about all this outside of the game, i wonder if utsushi joining the hunter in the battle against amatsu in the penultimate battle was strange, because he has such a spotlight on him, even being the one who allows you to ride an apex which was normally impossible. if people didn't acknowledge him before, certainly people would love him now.

his final line after you defeat amatsu: it's cute and silly in english... but in japanese, his line and delivery was extremely, almost unabashedly... romantic. many people were shocked because it sounded like a fervent confession.

"I'll say it once more... You are my pride, my beloved disciple."

finally, during the last update video…

we got this line straight from the director LOL. utsushi wound up being his personal favorite character in rise, and perhaps why we wound up seeing more and more of him in sunbreak.

all in all, if you kept up with the flavor text of rise, and if you followed utsushi's dialogue throughout the base game and expansion, the emotional pay off at the end was even better! and it is a shame when this stuff is mostly optional or you have to go out of the way for it, with so much being missable with every bit of progression. but making a monhun where story and character interactions are pushed more… i think they were on to something. it's probably something that could be divisive, but personally I think they should go all in on it more in the future. Rise proved that they could make charming and memorable (not to mention, named) characters... if they lean into it more in a future entry, then i hope they do it in a way where everyone can enjoy it and not feel like they missed out. but I also hope they would make it so that people don't feel overwhelmed with flavor text... it comes down to taste, but i think i have faith that monhun can try making more character-driven stories while still keeping the core of the series in tact.

here are some more miscellaneous utsushi things that i didn't know how to fit in earlier:

he's been featured multiple times in capcom cafe entrees. here's his matcha latte dango drink:

and for the sunbreak stories: a cake based on his fight with rathalos together with the royal guard, and then a drink that represents his... uh, struggle across the ocean to chase the hunter to elgado. because they will never let him live that down. i won't either.

here's a t-shirt of utsushi and kagami you can pick up on amazon right now. kagami was a very interesting arc when he was first shown- he was introduced as a long time friend of utsushi, training together in the past, but eventually parting ways.

his seiyuu in japanese is a sentai actor who loves monster hunter, so essentially, kagami is lowkey like a self-insert for him lol. he's goofy in english because he's voiced by a certain youtuber, but in japanese he takes a different direction of silly because he has a "chuunibyou" edgelord cringe way of talking. it's such a shame that kagami wasn't really in the game itself besides being mentioned in a few mission descriptions because i would've loved to see him interact with utsushi and the hunter, and i wish the royal knights and many of the NPCs had more cutscenes or something. it makes me think, if it weren't for the pandemic, could rise's story and scenario have been something more because of the DLC voice characters like hibasa/monju/kagami? anyway, a popular headcanon is that utsushi and kagami are ex-boyfriends lol (i personally like this one and adapted it for my utsuhan fanfics). but there are even those who ship kagautsu too (although it is rare because people overseas are a little wary of shipping characters who are based on real people).

and lastly, one of my personal favorites... the diseased kyokan shirt. this is from an online capcom shop, and you can use a proxy service like fromjapan.com to order it.

if you read this all, thank you! happy hunting! with the instructor! we love that guy! the guy of all time!

[nakitengoku]

Hi I see u reblog posts all the time with 'vex' and 'vance', who are they?

I'm so glad you asked! Buckle up, this'll be a long one.

In Short, Vex is my cyberpunk 2077 self-insert turned oc through Character Development and Quirks that I don't possess! You can find all the posted drawings I've done of him here, here and here, but I can give you a rough summary bc I love talking about him and he makes me ill <3 I've even made him his own Spotify Playlist

First off, Vex's original concept came a while ago when I had first watched Cyberpunk: Edgerunners. (Original designs below) I named this self insert Ghost and he was supposed to operate as a shady BD dealer

I wouldn't come back to this idea for a whole year, where a friend of mine who had been posting about the game convinced me to play. I decided to revamp Ghost, including his Name Change to Vex (to fit the theme of the main characters name starting with V). Through many back and forth a between me and my friend, and through playing the game, I had eventually fleshed out Vex.

Crash course in Vex Lore, due to rough circumstances and having no other options, he signed a contract with an upstart xbd (hyper-realistic 3d experiences plugged straight into your brain. Vex's specifically was in the pleasurable kind (he's a pornstar)) producer. For Nine year, Vex worked under this Producer, slowly becoming more and more of a hit star, especially among fanatics. But he wanted to be done with it and move on with his life, and lean into his side gig of being a Merc for hire. The producer, learning that Vex was gonna quit, begged him for once last recording. During which, the Producer tried to have Vex killed by the hands of his co-actor. Vex learns this in the middle of a scene and flips it around, instead Killing his co-actor and his producer.

He then hides the body, moves and tries to make a job for himself in Atlanta, but after nearly 2 years of miss after miss, he's forced to return to Night City, thus kicking off the start of the game!

Other than his backstory, he is part of the Worlds worst polycule composed of the Canon Characters, Kerry Eurodyne, River Ward and Johnny Silverhand, and the Non Canonical (though they're both canonical in my heart) Vex and Vance.

You may now be at the point of 'Phoenix, you've only been speaking about Vex, who the hell is Vance' Well, my dear beloved Mutual, Vance is @mail-me-a-snail's V! They're more inclined to talk about him and if you're really curious, they have an entire tag about him on their blog! Just know that I love Vance so strongly that Vex has to deal with it

(They've also recently posted one of their drawings of Vance and Vex and I'm over the moon about it)

There's also our mutual Bad Ending for Vance and Vex that you'll occasionally see me mention in Tags. That's the ending where Vex never escaped his Producer, instead continuing his work and becoming extremely popular and Vance never leaving Arasaka (a huge corporation). This ending is just for the two of them to rip each other apart in mutually assured destruction done out of love, commitment and understanding <3 (of which has its own Spotify playlist)

General rule of thumb is if you see a Vex with short hair and a blue collar, that's normal Vex. If you see him with long hair and he's missing his collar, That's the Bad End Vex.

That's it for Major Plot Points! He's a pretty kind and caring guy, but Hates Johnny's guts and will only refer to him as Silverhand (for multiple reasons). He's main weapon is a katana. He'll eat random food off the street bc of ingrained habits and won't think twice about how nasty that it. His preferred mode of transport is a motorbike bc he can't drive a car for shit. He's my sopping wet cat of an oc that I shake around like a limp piece of prey between my teeth.

Hope you enjoyed this rant about him! Thank you so much for asking ! (And feel free to keep asking, I love talking about him)

[theonlyadawong]

was tagged by beloved mutual @devilbrakers in this tag game :D

01. a character you love.

i shant go on about ada wong, the evil resident so instead i will talk aboooooooooooooouuuuut ummmm lucie jurin! from martyrs (2008) she murdered the family that abused her as a child and i think that's wonderful. she is also living with intense survivors guilt and she has a friend who is a girl (girlfriend?) who is by her side (for the most part)

02. your favourite food from your culture.

BAKED SWEET POTATOES MMM MM MM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DELICOUS!!!!!!! also carne guisada ❤️

03. what your dream apartment / room / house is like.

🤔 well, it has to have lots of open space. i absolutely HATE when my living quarters feels cramped. i would also like it to have greenery (even though i can't take care of a plant to save my life), and i would like some green walls and nice brown wooden decor. and all my decorations and knick knacks would probably be nature themed. oh!!!! and also, i would have a papasan :)

04. your personal style or aesthetic.

i wear lots of overalls, tank tops, turtlenecks, skirts, boots, and sneakers, and it's all neutral colors. not a very interesting answer but idk how else to describe it

05. a happy memory.

one time when i was a kid, i won the jackpot on that wheel of fortune game at a putt putt! it was especially cool because i didn't even know what i was doing, i was just pressing the buttons. also one time i won a minor prize playing the stacker arcade machine and it glitched, and it gave me all the carabiners inside.

06. your favourite way(s) to spend time.

drawing (digitally) which ive only been doing since october 2020!!!! aaaaaaaand also watching TV and movies. i recently watched the movie martyrs (2008)for the third time in a month and i just love it. the love between anna and lucie is so palpable and the actors are just stellar. i also love thr sopranos and i have the box set!! I've watched it all the way through 3 times over the course of last year (and a little bit into this year) and it's just so good (though i will day the racism grates at me lmfao.) i also love futurama but ONLY the first 7 seasons. but for the past month ive been playing re4r (which im sure my followers know by now lol) and im having lots of fun!

07. story behind your url / title / quote / description / icon.

obviously, my url is a reference to THEE ada wong buy it specifically comes from me being absolutely positive ada made some reference to her saying she was, "the only ada wong," in re6 but alas she says, "the real ada wong." so i was wrong.(fake fan moment 😔) but once i realized this, i didn't want to change my url bc it stuck with me. and my icon is canceled ada because i get such a kick out of it. it's so funny

08. something that comforts you or brings you joy.

SHELL COLLECTION!!!!! SHELL COLLECTION OF REAL SHELLS FROM REAL BEACHES THAT I REALLY PICKED UP!

09. what you’re looking forward to.

ik this is a tiny thing in the grand scheme of life but i just bought the infinite rocket launcher in 4r so im really excited to play a whole game with that! >:)

10. something else that’s important to you.

THEATRE! im sadly not much into it now but i love every single aspect of live theatre so much you don't even know. a chorus line, hair, and shuffle along are my favorite shows EVER!!!

uhhhhmmm idk who to tag! but it you see this and you want to do it, then pretend i tagged you!!! :D

[just-lythecreator]

Galactic Hunters’ relationship ramble

When I look back at it

I should’ve expect how hunters go how the way they are at times

Especially where I first join fandoms and read stuff, at my core, will always see them (Zim and Dib) as enemies to besties that still bickering. Hunters was start by me want to have an au that they run off together, have their own business, and slowly finally become friends

And at that same time I also adore what some of the fandom do them (Zim and Dib) in romantic sense too. Not as I like I see it in canon; but more so as someone who love to read fic of ships that I not invest and want to see what the people write. Because I know there’s so many good fucking writing on the things I might not like or neutral about it. Like it can be cute and also so character analysis in the way make me goes, ok yall convince me.

It something silly that I didn’t think about it as much.

My top favorite of the dynamic that people write them is more so of QPR (Zadr QPR have all my fucking heart as a demi ace mfer) like the Paklet au or them being absolutely besties (SPACE JUNK ZADF MY DAMN BELOVED)

But there also stuff like the War of Doom, the Last Irken, Curious Dib, and that one zadr fic of them going to space black market (which later become a reference to honestly one of the most influential arc of Hunters but I didn’t get a chance to show on main blog because things goes so fast that I can’t draw on time)

Heck at first the little hint of HD (Seeker) use to have one sided crush on Zim is from me leaving a silly little reference to my respect for zadr content writers that write so well that I interest as a concept. But for me, Hunters was my corner of want to draw them slowly being friends, even how much bickering they are -__-

And then

Seeker did it again, the fucking bastards fall in pale. It not pitch or spade but It still a romance in the quadrant system. That man somehow fall for the stupid bug, THREE TIME IN HIS SHORT 27 YEARS OF A LIFE. And I was absolutely terrified because BRO MY FUCKING PLAN!! WHY YOU FUCKED MY PLAN UP????

And by Zim’s character since beginning, I know he is capable of falling in love, which later be Knelt and I was fucking right that he can.

At least it pale, pale is the closest to QPR, it should be great for me!! Zadr QPR was the favorite content I got in the fandom!!

….and things spiral…

The whole aphobe attack on hunters blog, Seeker make a choice to not show more of his softness to the bug on main. And basically lock 85% of the development behind the close door in process because they don’t feel comfortable at the time.

And things change again

Their relationship become so annoyingly complicated for me who try to organize the plot and stuff. But, that not how Galactic Hunters will do. They do whatever they want. Break my limit with my arts that I probably never gonna show on main unless on Patreon bc I’m still shy heck.

They in all the damn quadrants at once, a fucking disaster of a situationship that they both happily embrace all the chaos. Be the most “I want to make him worst and I will take him back up to the star”. And I absolutely adore it!!! They are such a disaster that give me absolutely HEADACHE, but their bond is so strong that I still think (even Seeker think) that romance is not even a word.

It a fucking devotion.

Their disaster of want each other to fill all the quadrant even tho they are pale is so thems to do. Mutually obsession of want to put themselves it every relationship they can because they are each other’s. They both pissed each other off, riled each other up, and calm all the storm in their soul.

Desperately want to be each other’s everything.

Now after all of this, I slowly come to terms of them go to flush at times, but always back in pale. But I still kinda scare. After the whole aphobe attack on blog, I fucking terrified how people react. I want to show thems to the world and be absolutely brainrot over thems together.

But…. There’s so much I didn’t get to show the blog of how they are behind closed doors, the developments, and how far they come. From self destruction, want to be better, over correcting themself, to embrace the madness of their relationship. I want to show but also there so much

Heck, sometime I feel like Hunters are more so are my OC now with how Seeker is not wish to be called by his old name now. I still find the way to turn them fully into my own OC and alternate the close door development that I never get to show on blog. But the multiverse thing will probably happen to the oc version, which is what cause the change to the hunters in the first place.

I just in a debate,

Should I find the way to back track the development to show on the hunters blog somehow?

Or

just keep that development when I finally turn thems into oc with their own story?

Well, I still don’t know how backtrack the arc to put on the blog, but I still want to show why these two (now plus Knelt) make me so unwell in the best way possible. They mean a lot and I want everyone to go absolutely ballistic with me

[noxiatoxia]

I WAS LITERALLY AVOIDING OTHWR MEDIA TOO SO I COULD PRESERVE MY HITTACHIN HYPERFIXATION and then my friend wanted to see a movie for their birthday,, fuck that friend in particular. how dare they make me consume outside media

my hyperfixations are usually really long. even if theres no more content of it for me to see, my headcanons and made up scenarios can keep it going FOREVER

in fact something really funny is that when i get a new hyperfixation i tend to just. completely drop the old one. i literally straight up abandoned a dsm p twitter stan account with nearly 1k followers and a bunch of close mutuals DAYS after starting danganronpa. once something grabs my mind it does Not Let Go

fortunately that didnt really happen with hitachiins to fruit brothers,, probably because there really wasn't much content for me to consume. i could rewatch the anime and it would last a few episodes, there's a fandom, but bullet train Just came out so there wasn't much of a fandom yet, and it wouldnt be on digital (or soap2day hehe) for a couple months or so.

anyway i really like that movie if you couldn't tell !!! personally i recommend it but fair warning its very gorey/bloody/violent (in that strange comedic way- think deadpool or kingsman) and made me CRY. like just sob. so the emotional damage was real but i loved it anyway

idk what it is that makes me love brother characters so much. i feel like its just so sweet to be to have siblings that are just ,, always there for each other. they grew up together, they've had each other through everything, good and bad, and they've survived at each other's side. they trust each other with their lives, even if they can't trust anyone else. its more than just a best friend thing too, because its an irreplaceable bond. its just,,, ougjfjhhjh its my favorite .

and thats probably indicative of some deep psychological issue but idc !! i just like silly brothers

how DARE your friend do that 🙄smh. war crime.

also i FEEL the dropping out of the other thing, altho mine is usually a slowish transition and i still make content for my other fixations occasionally......i p much dropped out of the AA hyperfixation but i still do love seeing fan art and reading fics it's just not my number 1 thing anymore (altho i will ALWAYS be down to talk abt it especially aa4.). i like to keep it around tho like all my other hyperfixations....just to revist every now and again. And to an extent asoryuu still has such a Grip on me. except certain hyperfixs i abandon Forever for one reason or another (not naming names but longtime followers maybe know the Big Two/derogatory im referring to)

I may put it on my to watch list (i have so many movies on there bro...) bc tho im squeamish with blood n gore on screen, i may enjoy it. I will look more into it :eyes:

And!!!!!!!!! REAL I love sibling characters..........characters in general who each other are their everything (co dependency my beloved/hj) and that's usually easier to find with siblings. I've also found?? I really just like. identical twin characters. just smth about having somebody who looks Just like you.....wadda hell. in some cases i like it when they cant Stand each other but also? when they're super close....mama mia. Close siblings man....melts into a puddle.

Hitachiins I guess struck it big with me bc 1.co-dependency 2.identical twins 3.i will not lie i Do kinda like twincest......so their funny little club act is mostly hilarious but also like......u do this For Fun ? 🤨 ALSO the ANGST potential with them.....esp bc Kaoru is such a depressed bastard.....IT'S ALL I'VE EVER WANTED !!

[gogetyrshovel]

fic rec friday 4

become the beast by memequeen11267 (e, 103k)

summary: all his feelings about hannibal existed in a swirling tempest that was too powerful for Will to consciously control, but he was sailing through the storm like he was sailing across the sea — with determination, impulsivity, and no clear plan. there was only the need to go forward, towards hannibal.

will didn’t know what was going to happen once he found him. he didn’t know what he was going to do. will was just as likely to kill Hannibal as he was to forgive him.

i forgive you, will. will you forgive me?

notes: mutual pining my old friend how i have missed you. this is part of a larger series if that's your cup of tea but i liked this work the best. the author writes will's internal monologue and feelings really well and their pacing is really accurate to canon. i love missing scenes. their version of dolce will break your heart

graduating from the school of never forgive and never forget by coldmackerel (M, 32k)

summary: the seat directly in front of the grill is open and don’t mind if she does. she folds her hands on the dirty counter and stares intently at the back of the cook’s head. so she’s one day out of prison: just thin, precarious ice between her feet and spending the rest of her best years behind bars, and she’s decided she’s going to stomp.

she’s going to ruin everything.

she’s going to physically fight a fry cook at a ten-head diner in the worst part of the city over almost nothing whatsoever.

these are the decisions that make us as people.

notes: so i usually post hannigram recs bc im still in the throes of my hannibal hyperfixation after watching it [checks calendar] almost a year ago. however. i adore villaneve. hannibal walked so killing eve could run. im excited and terrified for what s4 has in store for us. anyway this is sweet and i love grumpy frycook eve

attachment by pragnificent (pragmatic homnid) (24k)

summary: hannibal is out shopping when the small boy runs up to him and bites him on the hand.

it is not a playful act. the child bites hard, and then he grinds his teeth in and holds on.

there is for hannibal a moment of outrage, in which he considers striking the child to knock him away. hannibal’s face curls, for just a microsecond, into a snarl, and astonishingly he realizes that the boy, who is looking up at him with fearsome defiance, his jaws still locked around the side of his hand, has not missed this.

hannibal sets his face to communicate a shocked but stoic response to the assault, and this is what his father sees, when perhaps three seconds later he crouches next to the boy to coax him into loosening his hold.

notes: kid fic kid fic kid fic kid fic. that is all

the painted veil by princesskay (E, 27k)

summary: the edge of the cliff is an alluring escape, but hannibal isn't ready to let will go just yet

notes: arguments and verbal sparring and literary references my beloved <3

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part six (aka me losing my mind over the final problem)

Hi, I am once again reminding you all that I've formed a parasocial relationship with the crackhead detective 👍 This made me overly emotional for the fact that he didnt even die

But like

hhhmmmmmmmm those were certainly an interesting 14 pages

Yeah, I already made a post about how the final problem relates to yuumori's final problem and how incredibly sexy it is but yes now I'd just like to relay to you how absolutely heart brocken i am over this lol I will eventually get to reading the post hiatus stories i just. I haven't emotionally recovered from this yet

Yelling below the cut somehow this reaction feels longer than the story itself. but it's about half cracking jokes and half sobbing so be prepared

I mean, starting off strong with "well yknow since i got married my and sherlock's Very Intimate Relations had to be modified and all but we hadnt seen each other in a while so it was kind of jarring to see him crawling in my second story bedroom window clutching Wounds and closing the shutters absolutely fucking wasted losing his mind over some dude named moriarty"

We've been over this but. Oh my god why are they gay

I just like????? Imagine how fucking bizzare that would be to just see your old homie crawl into your window bleeding on your floor and asking to exit the other way in case he's followed like "hey bro can we Talk i hope you're not busy" WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO, SAY HE IS? Imagine watson just like "no dude I'm fucking busy go get killed"

But legitimately. That's certainly something. And like, I see a lot of books starting like this lmao but. Holmes's stuff usually starts off kind of easily with watson going "yeah so lately ive been Experiencing Sherlock Holmes" and spend 20 minutes on exposition with them having a Conversation but no. mans just fucking escaped a hitman and went directly to his boyfriend's house having apparently Never Before In His Goddamn Life mentioned his actual nemesis to this guy. How the FUCK has watson never heard of him before.

And how sherlock starts talking about it isn't any less funny he's just like "UHHH SO THERE'S THIS GUY. THIS ABSOLUTE MAN. AND HES REALLY IMPRESSIVE I MEAN HES LIKE SUPER FUCKING SMART AND HES LIKE DOING CRIMES????? SO I LIKE. I NOTICED AS I DO BUT HE NOTICED THAT I NOTICED AND I MIGHT HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY DUDE CAN YOU HELP ME LIKE. FLEE THE COUNTRY" and watson's like my dear sherlock What The Fuck

Im also loving how he calls moriarty a "mathematical celebrity" awhi;grih;oaewhhta;ioh;iaewh;ii;oewh;eh;rg mans just. ok lol hes a Math Celebrity that had to quit his math teacher job because EVERYONE JUST KNEW HE WAS A CRIME LORD LIKE THEY TOOK ONE LOOK AT HIM AND WENT MANS DEFINITELY HAS BODIES IN HIS BASEMENT I DONT WANT HIM TEACHING HERE

But yeah, it was interesting to see what the big deal about og moriarty was... especially since the deal simply did not deliver. There was not really a big deal. It's like reading the first chapter of a book and immediately skipping to the climax. Everything is so hyped up and clearly having been building for years and you just get like NO CONTEXT. I swear Moriarty wasn't goddamn mentioned any time before this. He's just suddenly the big guy and watson has just never fucking heard shit about this guy.

What's so funny about this whole situation is that I just. Cannot objectively know anything about Moriarty at all because sherlock just... does not go into what this dude's alleged crimes even were, other than. The fact that he like. Does them. He's just really involved in crimes. How? Why? For how long? In what way? For what purpose? NO FUCKING CLUE HE JUST. HE JUST DOES. And there's nothing to really suggest that Moriarty was honestly a really evil guy. They're all like trust me he was just. he was just really bad but show absolutely No examples of being such. The most evil thing we saw Moriarty do personally was call sherlock stupid for letting him get into the apartment. And even then he immediately followed it up with complimenting him lol

yeah, my impression of Moriarty was like. I expected him to be worse, honestly. I expected him to be like a cartoon villain because he was kind of made out to be one and then he's just honestly a really polite and refined guy?? Mans strolls the fuck into 221B like hi shawty and it is Not like yuumori obviously man's holding a gun but like. What the fuck they are just. They have never met before but They Clearly Have and it's. its so weird

Like honestly I don't dislike og moriarty. He's really what william tried to be (and fucking failed, but beside the point) but like. Dude's so powerful and for what. He just walks into the apartment with No Pretense like why sherlock holmes is that a revolver or are you just happy to see me oh my goodness you are a dolt why would you hold the gun that way. disgusting. disgraceful. dreadful. Oh my god. I love him I'm sorry

abngnahhghifeah;iewh and Why does sherlock describe him like that hes like "MANS A REALLY REFINED LIZARD /pos" HIEHIFEHW:HGIHOEWFEEW FOR WHAT. FOR W H A T

baaaaaaaaghhhhhh but likeeeee they went STRAIGHT to "you know what I'm here for" "you know how I'm going to respond" "well then" "yeah" "mhm" "damn well it really do be like that sometimes" "ur really smart by the way" "im fucking aware let's kill each other as we both Thought in our Minds" "yes lets" AHDHDHDHDFS WTF THIS IS INSANE

But damn uh. mutual destruction my beloved this is very different from sherliam but im not. im not. opposed to it tucks hair behind ear

I just. Holy shit they really went "if you destroy me I will ensure that we both go down hand in unlovable hand" "I wouldn't mind that"

Annnnd I just noticed that the actual lines for this part kind of. that kind of happened in chapter 31 when sherlock was like i would Gladly die to take down the lord of crime and william was like. hahahah yeahNO NO NO NO

BUT SERIOUSLY THO IM LOSING MY MIND OVER HOW SHERLOCK SAYS THIS WHOLE THING TO WATSON AND HES LIKE DAMN SHAWTY HES LIKE THE REASON FOR HALF THE CRIME IN THIS CITY BUT HES SO NICE THO??? LIKE I EXPECTED HIM TO BE TOUGH AND EVERTHING NO HES JUST SOME POLITE PROPER UNDERSTANDABLE MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE VERY DIABOLICAL shawty is having a Crisis

And then watson is like wowww that was cool you wanna spend the night and sherlock is like "UNFORTUNATELY BESTIE I AM BEING FUCKING TRACKED DOWN ID LIKE YOU TO NOT DIE WITH ME"

This bit gave me a Moment Moment because oh my god. Then watson is like "no shut up i'm coming with you i don't care" and i just had to Take A Minute because THEY SWITCHED PLACES AAH SHERLOCK IS TRYING TO KEEP WATSON SAFE NOW AND WATSON IS NOW MORE RECKLESS BC OF HIM AND. AHHHH

Completely random but. How sherlock still refers to 221B as "our rooms" to watson even though watson hasn't lived their in years........ shawty i am emotional.........

SO THEY GODDAMN FLEE THE COUNTRY TOGETHER BC WATSON SAYS THEY HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER AND SHERLOCK HAS A MOMENT WHERE HE'S LIKE YEAH NEVERMIND PLEASE GO HOME WATSON AND WATSON IS JUST LIKE. NO. AND HSERLOCK IS LIKE. DAMN OK I HAVE NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE

But. Ok as funny as this is. They have this fucking Conversation on the train to switzerland where sherlock is like "I have not lived in vain" and watson is like "YOURE NOT DYING" and hes like "i have not lived in vain. like i said. this will not be a bad way to die" UHHHHHH DAMN SHAWTY

hhhhhh and it just Gets. it. it. it Gets. These fuckers get to switzerland and they stay in a hotel and then leave for reichenbach but watson gets this goddamn letter telling him that hes needed at the hotel to basically save this lady's life. And he doesn't. Like. he doesn't even want to go he's like FUCK IT SHE CAN DIE IM NOT LEAVING YOU but sherlock convinces him to go fULLY KNOWING THE LETTER WAS FUCKING FAKED BY MORIARTY JUST AS A PLOY TO GET HIM ALONE

AND THEN HE JUST. WENT ANYWAY AND WATSON HAD TO WATCH HIM JUST LIKE GODDAMN WALK OFF INTO THE SUNSET LIKE "LITTLE DID I KNOW THIS WOULD BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD SEE HIM BUT IT JUST. IT HAD THAT VIBE YKNOW"

God I just. Wow sherlock really did that huh. He really went and did that. And I went over it in the post about this compared to yuumori but it just RUINED me how watson just. Never saw what happened and there's just so little information about it that all they have is these assumptions and pieces that just suggest that these guys met up, walked up to the goddamn waterfall having a nice civil conversation about how talented and smart they both were at this and how they revealed their methods to each other and complimented them because of course they did

And they just sat up there talking to each other so long and Moriarty legit waited politely or even possibly was the one that suggested he write a letter to watson in which sherlock just went "damn lol moriarty's pretty nice actually anyway uhhhh sorry watson ily ✌" and just like. left it up there in his damn cigarette box

But just like. damn the insinuation that moriarty just sat there and watched while he wrote that entire goddamn letter, sealed it up, and then got up and went alright buddy let's go but it makes no goddamn sense if they wanted to actually kill each other and assure they themselves would survive I could name like 23 different ways they could have managed it so easily and they Didn't. they were really set on mutual destruction huh. There's no way they were even trying to do anything but Die Together at that point and that's Something huh

It absolutely baffles me how they could say that these guys had plummetted like, holding each other tho. Like. ok lol but How Do You Even Know

It was certainly a ride. But the fact that Watson had to actively try to think like Sherlock to figure out what happened in the scene was just. The cherry on top. Especially after they'd consciously started to switch roles in this i just. Damn.

In conclusion uhhhhhhhh gay people real I suppose

[early-grape]

check in tag hehe i like to share. ty bapey @clowwntown the way im all over ur answers tbh my impact :*

why did you choose your url? it was a copic marker colour bc i did used to use copic markers hjklh

any side blogs? yeah like. 5 but i never even use them im too scared to delete tho because i dont want to accidentally delete my main! reference

how long have you been on tumblr? 2016 ew

do you have a queue tag? no i never earned how and i dont want to but the best queue tag i ever came across was ‘hatsune miqueue’ 

why did you start your blog in the first place? debressed :D life no meaning

why did you choose your icon/pfp? i love the Escali P115PO Primo Digital Scale and my friends

why did you choose your header? im a libra and also SO influential 

what’s your post with the most notes? mmm idk i think it might b that landgraab one 

how many mutuals do you have? idk but they r more than enough 😌😌

how many followers do you have? 9,946 cut to me in 2019 saying ill delete once i hit 10k and im still at the same number p much lol i should have made more cc

how many people do you follow? 573

have you ever made a shitpost? i have never not

how often do you use tumblr each day? im unemployed what do u want from me

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? NO but one time i made a joke abt luxury party and this one simblr clique all blocked me for that and im still bitter and i STILL hate them and they are all so beloved hjklh i cant escape them

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i wont

do you like tag games? ya

do you like ask games? yes but i never get any !! >:0

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i was the second simblr margarita ridgeport ever followed humble brag hjlkh

tagging the homies

[michelemoutons]

tagged by @gaslypodium! i did do a similar one on my main but i want to do it again >:] it's a bit long though so hop on under the read more and we'll get to the good stuff

1. Why did you choose your url?

of course i had to reference my favorite driver, michèle 😌 back in the day the press really did not know how to Act around her so she had a lot of tabloid nicknames. and the german one was literally ‘black volcano’ bc of her hair and her (reported) temper

2. Any side blogs?

this is a sideblog! my main blog is @knapp-shappeys.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

i’ve been lurking on here since abandoning google+ in 2015, but didn’t make an effort to take care of my main until 2016. i’ve been on motorsport tumblr since march 2021

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i don’t use queue except for my (almost) daily group b posting, and i don’t have a special tag for it

5. Why did you start your blog on the first place?

i got into group b rally first. i ended up picking up f1 bc i’d been seeing a lot of f1 on my dash (thanks alix) and had also come across a picture of seb and schumi with michèle at a race of champions and thought hmm those don’t look like rally drivers! :) i wonder who they are! :)

i got up to something like 100 motorsport-related posts on my main and then had a blazing moment of realization that this was certainly not what anyone had come to my main blog for, so i made this one! alix inspired me on this front as well.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

michèle and fabrizia my beloveds! yes the posts on this blog may be overwhelmingly related to f1 at this point, but my original entry point into motorsport was learning about their story. and i love them dearly

7. Why did you choose your header ?

this was the picture that technically started it all for me.

so long story (that you can skip if you want, i don’t care) my parents took me to stare at cars in a dealership one afternoon when i was about nine years old. i was dragging my feet/complaining about being there, so they had me sit in a chair and wait. now i hadn’t brought anything to read. i was bored out of my mind and settled on staring at the pictures on the walls. right next to me was this picture of a woman standing next to a yellow-and-white car against a backdrop of a mountain.

my first thought was, “that’s a pretty car.” my second was, “wow, she’s beautiful.” third, “i wonder if she’s asian?” because she had long black hair like me. so i spent a lovely hour piecing together a story about her in my head before my parents came back and collected me, and i promptly forgot about the whole thing even though it was arguably a formative Fruity Moment.

fast forward to a few months ago, when i was doing research for something else and came across the same picture. i remembered being 9 and seeing michèle mouton’s picture on the wall, and decided to read her wikipedia page. lo and behold: i became a motorsport fan.

8. What’s your post with the most notes ?

pfffft got no clue but i had one with 50k on my main somewhere back in 2017

9. How many mutuals do you have ?

i don’t keep track of this. if you follow me we’re automatically besties

10. How many followers do you have ?

44 here (hehe) and 332 on main

11. How many people do you follow ?

😬 a lot, i should go clean it up a bit

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

oh what is microblogging platform but to create shitposts day in day out

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

i check it a few times: once in morning, sometimes in the afternoon, mostly at night because that’s when a good amount of my internet acquaintances are awake (we love time zones!)

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

no. life’s too short

15. How do you feel about the “you need to reblog” posts ?

i ignore luck ones on principle but as for awareness posts, i’ve said this before but i come to social media to have a laugh and relax, not to be aware of news or educate others. i do have a life away from the screen where i do stay informed and in touch with reality, where i do educate myself and other people in my life and participate in physical actions like boycotting and donations and (barring pandemic times) volunteering. that’s my activism. that’s just me of course, different things for different people, and no one’s better or worse than others for trying to do something in their own ways as they are capable to help others. hopefully that made sense too

16. Do you like tag games ?

of course i do!

17. Do you like ask games ?

yes! i love being asked things!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is mutual famous?

how would you even keep track of this? haha

19. Do you have a mutual crush?

i don’t have crushes on people i’m only acquainted with through a screen

no pressure of course, but tagging @totowoof, @jedivszombie, @p1tstop, @maranello, and @hon3y-badg3r

[magicofthepen]

For the character thingy, romana and leela?? ❤

ROMANA - I’m going to answer for Romana I, since I already did Romana II!

favorite thing about them: so I fell in love with Romana I instantly when I watched The Ribos Operation. I was like “wait no one told me that Romana’s basically a recent graduate who always thrived in school but has now suddenly been thrust into the Real World and is a bit of a mess” and oh my god why is she so relatable, also I love that about her. I love that she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing, and her academic brilliance doesn’t necessarily help in the situations she’s finding herself in, but she keeps trying and learning, so by the end of season 16 she’s much more confident and capable on her own than she was when she started. I just absolutely adore the premise of her character and how she develops during the key to time quest. also her banter skills are so excellent. (….this wasn’t one thing whoops. 😄)

least favorite thing about them: I feel like it’s something about how she’s portrayed in the Gallifrey audios, but I can’t quite articulate what? but I feel like somehow, some of the things I really liked about her on TV (her witty fun banter, her determination even when she’s out of her depth) aren’t represented as much when we get glimpses of Actual Romana I (not Pandora or an alternate universe version). idk if this is even fully true, it’s just….she doesn’t quite have the same vibe as the character I remember from the TV show (but this is also tricky because the Lies scene, the Matrix projection in Lies (which *isn’t* really her technically) and the remains of her consciousness in the body that Pandora’s using are the only times we get Actual Romana I - which isn’t that much time to express all the nuances of her character.)

(continuing to skip the favorite line question because it’s too hard)

brOTP: her and the Doctor!! (like I said in the Romana II ask, I used to ship them more, but lately I’ve been more into a platonic interpretation.) I just as instantly fell for their dynamic in the Ribos Operation - two people with very different personalities who don’t get along but are forced to work together and gradually become friends?? this is exactly the kind of relationship arc that I adore. Their banter and snark is So Good (I was so entertained by their interactions in Ribos Operation that my brain refused to pay attention to anything but their scenes, and I ended up having issues following the plot later oops). And I love their growing respect and care for each other - how they go from being mutually dismissive of each other to valuing each other and being a solid Team and just really genuinely liking each other! their friendship is just Very Good (…..and now I really want to rewatch season 16….I’ve only seen it like one and a half times but I loved it very much….)

OTP: I don’t think I have any ships with Romana I that I would consider an ‘otp’? (the closest would be her and the Doctor since I have sometimes shipped them and I adore their relationship in general)

nOTP: Brax/Romana again….and tbh with Romana I it’s more of an actual nOTP (rather than ‘kinda nOTP, kinda ‘it’s complicated’’) because this is the time frame when she’s actually his student and so my discomfort with student/teacher relationships really rears its head (although there’s still one fic out there that I just think is so well-written.....but it does show the relationship as very unhealthy). 

random headcanon: .....so sorry to continue Sartia posting, but oops the first thing that popped into my head is my new maybe-unrealistic headcanon that Sartia was Romana’s first kiss. in a teenage “I’m curious and want to try this thing and you’re the only person I hang out with, but it doesn’t mean anything....or does it??” way. (.....this is so self-indulgent in such a terrible way rip.)

unpopular opinion: Armageddon Factor is my favorite Key to Time story! (I gather this is an unpopular opinion in Doctor Who Fandom At Large, it doesn’t seem to be liked as much as some of the earlier stories in the season.) technically I’ve only seen it once and it was a couple years ago, but I remember loving it as a Romana story, there were a lot of really interesting character bits for her!

song i associate with them: hmm I don’t really have one? my Romana playlist is specifically for Romana II in Big Finish so....yeah.

favorite picture of them: anything with her Ribos Operation outfit (with the full cloak), it’s iconic and beautiful! on a similar note, I love this Romana I art by @volucris-liga, it’s the first Romana fanart I ever reblogged and it’s so pretty!

more under the cut!

LEELA

favorite thing about them: her resilience and her kindness. Leela goes through so much grief and pain, she has her world upended again and again, she never really finds a place where she belongs. and yet she still keeps choosing to love, choosing to keep fighting for what she believes in, choosing to rebuild again and again. and sometimes it’s really hard and she doesn’t want to go on….but she does, and she finds moments of happiness again. and that strength is really powerful. and no matter how cruel the universe (and other people) are to her, she is still relentlessly kind - she listens, she protects, she wants to help, she cares. 

least favorite thing about them: I mean, the “savage” stereotype that her character references is a racist/anti-indigenous trope (especially the whole dynamic of the Doctor trying to “civilize” her ugh). and I hate that characters keep calling her “savage” (even when they’re the Bad Guys, it’s still bringing up this trope again and again, and it’s even worse when it’s the Good Guys). why are they still doing this.

brOTP: see all characters listed under otp, every relationship that I ship is also an incredibly important friendship in Leela’s life and I love all of them <33 as far as relationships that I see as entirely non-romantic….I really love the version of Leela and Ace’s relationship that exists in my head (and in fandom) - they didn’t get to interact enough in the audios, but I absolutely think they were really close, because of their shared experiences and the ways their personalities mesh. (I feel like I should also say the Doctor here, but tbh I don’t remember her TV stories that well, so I don’t really have a solid memory of what their relationship was like.) and of course, Leela’s parental relationship with Rayo is very important to me!

OTP: once again, ot3 my beloved <33 and Leela/Romana first and foremost (I already rambled about them here, so I’m just going to second everything I said earlier). 

and I also ship Leela/Narvin, although I’m not quite as invested in that pairing? (due to a combination of ‘Romana is my favorite character and so I’m just more interested in her relationships with other characters,’ ‘I joined the fandom when things were pretty much all Leela/Narvin all the time (I say with great respect and affection for the artists and writers putting out amazing content for that ship) so I was motivated to write fic primarily for R/L and N/R to balance out the ot3 content,’ ‘apparently I have a contrary streak with Gallifrey and the more the writers push a romantic interpretation of a relationship, the less interested I am in actually shipping it,’ and ‘I’m not really into Leela/Narvin as a pairing on its own - although I do love a lot of fic that portrays them that way bc it’s just very well-written.’) But just. how they form a grudging alliance for Romana’s sake and then develop genuine respect for each other and then build this really solid foundation of teamwork and fondness and care and really relax and feel comfortable around each other….the way they become ride-or-die for each other and just trust and love each other so much….it’s Very Good!! (And I did love writing scenes with the two of them in Call It Home - I might not focus on them, but I do genuinely love their relationship.) 

And of course Leela/Veega <33….I debated if they even interacted enough in the actual audios for me to consider it an otp, but I love the idea of their relationship and the story of them in my head so much?? going to link to this post because it really captures my feelings about them - they’ve both been through so much grief and pain by the time they meet, they’ve both lost people they love before, so the idea of them choosing to love each other and build something together against the odds is just. very powerful. plus I have a whole playlist for the family they’ve built together, which is a strong indication that I really love this ship. 😊

nOTP: Leela/Andred. last time I answered an ask meme about Leela, I had this complicated response about how I hated Leela/Andred when I watched Invasion of Time (bc it’s so abrupt and arbitrary), and then Louise Jameson’s voice acting Convinced Me To Care because oh she really did love him....alas i am a Leela/Andred detractor at heart, and I have been nudged back to my default state by re-listening….I simply hate how he treats Leela in Gallifrey.

random headcanon: I really like the idea of Leela being more politically involved in her own right after they all return from the Axis. She’s just spent a lot of time leading a group of people who don’t have a voice in the government, fighting for their rights against the established injustices of Gallifreyan society. I don’t think she’d easily slip back into only being Romana’s bodyguard after experiencing more political autonomy on the other Gallifrey. What exactly this looks like in practice I’m not sure about - in my one fic ‘verse, I wrote about her being more directly involved with the Academy as a political liaison and guest tutor, and also advocating to Romana for policies that would benefit those who live outside the city on their home Gallifrey. but there’s probably a lot of options to explore here!

unpopular opinion: hmm I don’t think this is necessarily unpopular but idk and I want to talk about it: even though Leela identifies so strongly as a warrior, a “happy ending” for her would, I think, need to involve getting away from fighting. too often she throws herself into a fight to try to avoid thinking about how much she’s hurting, and it doesn’t work, it doesn’t stop the pain. and in the Time War, she’s tied her identity so strongly to war (it’s inevitable, inescapable, and she will Fight and Defend because that’s all she has left). there’s a difference between “I am a warrior” and “all I am is a warrior,” and Leela’s slid too far into the second one, and she needs to untangle her own identity from war to heal. 

song i associate with them: Freedom by Karmina (it’s a song about going on defiantly in the face of heartbreak -  “Tearing my room apart, I’m starting over” / “Take my pride I can still survive I’ve got my freedom” / “Hunt me down you’ll never find me now that I’ve got my freedom”)

favorite picture of them: the first one that came to mind is this gorgeous art by @laurelhach (which I didn’t realize was based on a picture until I stumbled across the original picture and was like oh my god!! it looks exactly like the art!!)

[butterflyeffectiooon]

Tagged by @ateezaligned !!!!

1. Why did you choose your url?

My nickname as a child was juji and I like it bc it’s similar to junji my beloved... juji was taken tho so I just put the hyphen

2. Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them.

I have two but they are effectively closed, I mean they’re still open but I’ve abandoned them. One was for dolls and the other was for photography and I’m not linking them <3

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Too long, like at least 7 maybe 8 years. I think I made this blog on New Year’s Eve 2013 but I can’t be bothered to fact check that

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No. I don’t have a queue. I just post whenever I feel like it, sometimes this is 25 times an hour and sometimes it’s once every 3 weeks.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I came here bc my friend from Flickr (my social media of choice when I was like 12) made a blog and I was like hey that’s cool I’m gonna do one too! Rip

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I love junji

7. Why did you choose your header?

Tbh I don’t even know what my header is. Are u referring to on mobile or on pc bc I have NO idea what my theme looks like on pc and I am no longer responsible for it!!

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I don’t know for sure but one that stands out is ‘you would not believe your lips if 10 million chocolate chips’ this was several years ago

9. How many followers do you have?

Probably less than 20 active ones, a great majority of them are deactivated or otherwise abandoned or followed me for something I don’t post about anymore and I’m sure they don’t actually use this website now. I love being unpopular tho bc I can just say whatever’s on my mind and nobody reacts, it’s like I’m shouting into a void and I love that for me

10. How many people do you follow?

I also follow a lot of deactivated/abandoned blogs so idk and I’m too lazy to actually check <3

11. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Yes

12. How often do you use tumblr each day?

At least once but almost always a lot more

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

Not really but I used to date a relatively popular tumblr user (depending on what circles ur in) who was once described in a viral post as an ‘extremely powerful lesbian deity’ but we broke up. Kinda wanna tag her just to cause chaos and see what happens but I will remain true to my true neutral self 😌😌

14. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I don’t reblog them bc I don’t like being bossed around by tumblr posts

15. Do you like tag games?

Yes!!!!!

16. Do you like ask games?

Yes but I don’t reblog them often bc nobody ever sends me any 🙂

17. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Idk

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Baby I have a crush on anyone who pays attention to me so yes

19. Tags?

The standard routine is isi tags me and I tag @allyofthevalley and @ooojunjiberry so I will continue with that.

[mblay-and-company]

It’s Self Indulgent FanFiction time, ya’ll!!!

So I came across this Prompt List by @palettes-and-prompts and IMMEDIATELY became intrigued by the very first dialogue prompt, and since a certain Hotel in Hell with a certain Radio Demon has became my Hyperfixation for the time being, I have decided to indulge myself.

When I started, I really struggled to decide if I wanted to directly insert myself into this or make it a Reader Fic.  I decided fuck it, this is for me!  And then I struggled to decide which name to use for myself, bc most of my OC’s are named after me in some degree and it’s very awkward... :I

So, without further ado, have a FanFic featuring a human me hanging out in the Hotel and having been foolish enough to have made SOME deals with Alastor, but not stupid enough to sell my Soul to him.  Misadventures of Michaela the Hell Temp, go!

"C'mon, toots, ya gotta tell me what yer kink is!"

Michaela let out a hard sigh, looking at the Effeminate Spider Demon with an exhausted glare.

"I don't need to tell you anything, Angel-"

"But I gotta know what freaky shit Smiles is into!  You two clearly are into something!"

After Angel Dust learned about the "bizarre Deal" she admitted to have with Alastor, along with what she described as a light crush, he immediately started making assumptions.  Honestly, it felt like he had been drilling her for hours for the "deets," even though it was probably only a few minutes at best.

"Angel, do you not understand how being Ace works-"

"Is it a Foot Fetish?!  Are ya two into suckin' toes?!" He almost let out a cheer when he watched her react, but quickly realized she was recoiling in disgust.

"Angel, that's fucking gross!  Do ya even know how much DEAD SKIN there is between toes???" She gagged out, her nose scrunched up.

"And why are we wondering about dead skin cells?" The two quickly turned to see a curious Alastor, quietly drinking a cup of coffee.  He could hear the sounds of their argument halfway across the Hotel, and it finally piqued his interest.

"Al, you really don't wanna be a part of this-" She tried to warn him, only to get shoved out of the way by Angel.

"Smiles!  What kinky shit do you two do during sex???" He practically screamed out with excitement.  Alastor let out a sudden cough, choking on his coffee.

"I beg your PARDON?!" He sputtered out, his grin pulled tight and twitching in the corners.  The static that emanated off of him seemed to intensify in agitation.  With another hard sigh, Michaela gave Angel a harsh check to his side, knocking him to the ground.

"This idiot is CONVINCED that we must have sex together just because we do business with each other.  He's been trying to delve into this nonexistant sex life for WAY too long, and I can feel a migrain coming on because of it." She scowled, rubbing her temples.  Alastor made a cough to clear his throat out, looking over at Angel.

"I fear you have forgotten that not everyone is in the Prostitution Business, my effeminate fellow!  And besides, I believe it is in your best interest to know that your little pet has squeezed himself under the oven, and our Charming Demon Belle can't coax him out.  I offered my assistance, but she doesn't seem to trust me with the pig's safety!"  He cried out in feigned offence, dramatically putting his hand over his heart in a swoon.  Upon being told his beloved pet was potentially in danger, Angel let out a distressed gasp.

"Fat Nuggets, hold on, Daddy's coming for ya!!!"  He cried out, sprinting down the hall at full speed.  Michaela let out a hard sigh of relief, her shoulders slumping down.

"I thought he would never leave..." She muttered, before looking up at Alastor.  "Is Nugs really stuck?"

"It would seem so..." He hummed thoughtfully.  "I wasn't planning on telling Angel about it, but it certainly became a much needed means to remove him from the room!"

"It seems we both conveniently benefit from this..." She mused, rubbing her temples again.  She was trying to think of ways to politely thank him without incurring a higher "tab" of debt with him.  The dealings she already had with him were careful, but she knew full well that he was much more cunning than she was, and he was VERY good at pulling the "favor" card.

"Most certainly, my dear!" He laughed heartily.  "I couldn't leave you in such a distressing state!  Not when I would find myself just as uncomfortable!"

"Thanks for that..." She let out a soft sigh.  Perhaps finding situations that were mutually beneficial really was the way to go?

"However..."

And there it was.  She couldn't help but cringe as she watched him tap his chin thoughtfully, his eyes focused entirely on her.

"I can't help but think that our business dealings isn't the ONLY reason that spider was so insistent on believing we had a... Less than professional relationship?" His eyebrows quirked as he carefully studied her expression. She was a combination of conflicted, embarrassed, and possibly mocking?  She was a massive kaleidoscope of emotions, many often showing off at once, making a very entertaining - Sometimes even unique - show for him.

"First of all..." She started, swirling her hand in circles to keep her thought process going.  "... Describing our relationship as "Professional" is kinda laughable, considering the CLOSEST I could be described is a Temp for you."  He simply responded with a static laced chuckle, followed with his disembodied laugh track, and a shrug.

"Second of all..." Her pause was a lot longer, rubbing one side of her temples with one hand as she held up a finger with the other, as if to say "One moment."  She let out another hard sigh, and let out a mumbled "I can't believe I'm explaining this to you..."

"You have my full attention now, sweetheart, I am most intrigued with what you have to say!  No backing out now!"  He chimed with a quirked eyebrow, his eyes glistening with intrigue and possible mischief.  With another sigh, she looked him dead in the eyes.

"I have a minor crush on you... A small infatuation..." She admitted, already regretting saying anything.  She braced for the inevitable mocking as he processed what she said to him.  Eventually he broke the silence with the hard laughter she expected of him, and after what felt like an eternity he wiped a tear from his eye.

"A horrible decision, really.  I pegged you to at LEAST be a little smarter than that, darling..." He chuckled darkly, before bending down to bring his face to eye level with her.  "After all, you know full well what horrors I am capable of, yes?  What I have done, and will continue to do, for all of eternity?"

She could feel a lump of nervousness caught in her throat.  His grin was impossibly wide and extremely dangerous, and his eyes were half lidded.  He looked exactly like what he was; A predator with full control over the situation.  If he decided to, he could kill her with such ease.  With a hard swallow, she explained herself.

"I'm not naive...  Nor am I complacent.  I certainly don't support or condone the atrocities you've done..." She let out a hard sigh, repeating the circling motion with her hand to process her thoughts.  "It's just easy to be... Charmed by your more gentlemanly behaviors... Your... Damn it, brain, you had this word five seconds ago...  It's usually used in reference to illnesses that spread easy..." She muttered as the circling became much faster.

"Contagious?" He offered with a chuckle, straightening himself out.  She admitted to this problem of forgetting words quite a while ago, despite her brain fully remembering the concept of the word she's attempting to say.  It was an interesting dilemma, to say the least.  She once anguished over forgetting the word "oven" for a week.

"Yeah, that one.  Your high energy and smile are very contagious..." She said with a point, before continuing.  "I always enjoy the music.  I may be modern, and I know you don't support most of my taste, but I do really like smooth jazz and swing.  You also genuinely make me laugh with your Dad Jokes, I find them hilarious..." The circling of her hand slowly became slower as she started to run out of her steam.

"I could never, in my right mind, try to chase after a serious romance with you, knowing full well the kind of monster you are...  But I can still find some of your other traits endearing.  I absolutely love a man who is passionate, kind of silly, gentlemanly, and for fuck's sake, you're an amazing cook!  It's hard to not be smitten by something that's being chased away by modern views of how men should act..." With a final sigh, she looked him in the eyes, resolved but quite tired.  She was surprised to see how much his expression had softened, especially with her last sentence.

". . . You are a remarkably. . . Perceptive individual, Michaela." He started softly, the static crackle nigh inaudible.  "Especially with how your own mind works.  I have seen, time and time again, fools allow themselves to spiral in such frivolous fantasies and drive themselves mad not knowing WHY they chased them in the first place.  And yet you seem so capable of picking apart your own brain like a professional Psychologist.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed to some degree."

She looked at him with a bewildered look, certainly not expecting any form of PRAISE from him like that.  She said nothing, cautiously holding her tongue and waiting for the preverbal "but..."

"Given Angel's more... Crass nature, I can certainly see how he misconstrued your infatuation.  However, it's clear as crystal to me that you wouldn't harbor such lustful intentions towards me!" He nodded to himself, seeming almost proud of this sudden character study.

"Never really was interested in sex." She laughs out matter of factly.  "And I think most of us can agree you aren't, either, so I don't see how two people not interested suddenly makes a duo WILDLY interested, especially in the weirder things Angel was suggesting..." She cringed slightly at the thought of the toes again, but the both of them started laughing again.  Alastor took a step closer, giving her a firm pat on the shoulders.

"Yes, indeedy, my dear!  This is an unexpected turn of events for me, to find someone who shares my woes!" He chimed happily, using his hand to gently coax her head to look up at him.  He hadn't seen her laugh and smile like this in a while, and it was a nice change of pace compared to her exhausted melancholy or entertaining - Albeit quick - flashes of anger.  "There's that lovely smile that's been missing!  As you know-"

"Yeah yeah, never fully dressed and all that." She chuckles with an eye roll.  "Though it IS definitely nice to talk to someone who actually UNDERSTANDS the lack of interest..."

She continued to ramble on, but he stopped listening.  She was usually very cautious about how he touched her, showing to be quite aversive if he attempted to go close to her neck in particular.  But it was like she didn't notice where his hand was, and was getting complacent.  Comfortable.  Lowering her guard.  He didn't bare his teeth to her, yet, but his smirk still pulled tight.  He watched through half lidded eyes as she caught herself stumbling over her words, and slowly realized the situation she was in.  As she slowed her ramblings to a stop, she attempted to move her head away; Only for him to tightly grip onto her face, his clawed fingers dangerously close to cutting into her cheeks.  It was at this point, looking at her terrified realization, that he bared his teeth to her.

"A-Alastor, I..." She quietly pleaded, feeling cold sweat starting to bead on her forehead.  Her body had tensed and her arms raised half way, but she stopped herself before trying to pry his hands away.  Not only did she know that it would be a futile attempt with his Demonic strength, but it could have been foolish to DARE try to touch him.  Her hands trembled in fear and conflict as he slowly pulled her face closer, forcing her to stand on her tiptoes, as he leaned in to close the distance.  Mere hairs separated their noses.

"I will admit..." He started coolly, his eyes flicking down the hall quickly to make sure no one would interrupt him, before returning his gaze to the frightened girl in his grasp.  "... The fact that Angel considered such a thing possible is quite amusing, even despite our... Lack of sexual desires.  Do you know why, my dear..?"

"N-No, I don't..." She swallowed hard, not understanding where he could be bringing this conversation.  She shuddered as he let out a cold laugh.

"It's amusing because even if we were both more active in seeking sexual gratification... You are still a small and weak living human.  And, if I could be so frank..."  He leaned closer to her ear, whispering with a sweet venom that made her blood run cold. "I don’t know if your fragile body can handle what I want to do to you."

He let out another dark chuckle before lowering her and releasing his grasp, reveling in the look of utter terror on her face; Eyes wide, mouth slack, and trembling like a small kitten caught in a rainstorm.  And then, as if a switch flipped in his mind, his expression softened to the more excited and less threatening version of himself.

"Now, I do believe it's lunch time!  Now I'm sure that Angel managed to get his little pet out of that little spot of trouble it was in, but perhaps I'll be able to have some bacon anyways!" He laughs with a jovial energy, as if the previous conversation never happened.  He quickly disappeared around the corner, heading straight for the kitchen.

Michaela stood alone in the hall, slowly bringing her hands to her cheeks.  It started to check the damage, but she slowly found herself becoming flustered as she thought about his strange threat.  What could he have considered?  Biting?  Clawing?  Crushing with tentacles?  The thought was, admittedly, exciting, and she had to stop herself from calling for Alastor to ask for clarification.

The last thing she needed a Sadist like him to learn was that she was, very contradictory to most of her Asexual nature, Masochistic and easily excited over such thoughts.

[nippular]

.

Yikes why are you encouraging your friend to harass gay people? Just because someone is trans doesn't give them a free pass to be homophobic. Please tell me you don't sign off on this behavior. I'd hate to have to put you on the block list.

fuck been a minute since i checked my asks but anon pls tell me what this is referring to so i can correct it. As much as I personally enjoy harassing other gay people, I don’t condone or support any legitimately derogatory actions against ANY other LGBTQ folk and I would never intentionally back that sort of rhetoric.

[romancatholicreflections]

25th August >> Daily Reflection on Today's First Reading (Ruth 1:1, 3-6, 14-16, 22) for Roman Catholics on Friday of the Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time

Commentary on Ruth 1:1, 3-6, 14-16, 22 We move on today to a very different piece of Scripture, the short book of Ruth, which consists of just four chapters. (The only other biblical book bearing the name of a woman is Esther.) We will just have two readings from this lovely work which follows immediately on Judges. Introducing the book the Jerusalem Bible says in part: Although its action is placed in the period of the Judges (Ruth 1:1) the book does not form part of the deuteronomic corpus which runs from Joshua to the end of Kings… The main purpose of the book is to show (2:12), how trust in God is rewarded and how God’s goodness is not restricted by frontiers. That a woman of Moab should be privileged to become the great-grandmother of David gives a particular value to this narrative; nor is there any reason to doubt its historical foundation. – Jerusalem Bible The New International Version Study Bible makes this comment: The story is set in the time of the Judges, a time characterised in the book of Judges as a period of religious and moral degeneracy, national disunity and general foreign oppression. The book of Ruth reflects a temporary time of peace between Israel and Moab (contrast Judges 3:12-30). Like 1 Sam 1-2, it gives a series of intimate glimpses in the private lives of the members of an Israelite family. It also presents a delightful account of the remnant of true faith and piety in the period of the Judges, relieving an otherwise wholly dark picture of that era The book – and our reading today – tells the sad story of Elimelech, a man from Bethlehem in Judah. It was the days of the Judges and the area was hit by a famine. Because of this, he had to move to Moab with his wife, Naomi, and his two sons, Mahlon and Chilion. There they settled. Bethlehem lies south of Jerusalem while Moab was a tribal region on the east side of the Dead Sea and hence Gentile territory. The time of the Judges was probably from around 1380 BC to about 1050 BC. By setting such an edifying story in this period, the author calls to mind a time in Israel’s history noted for its apostasy, moral degradation and oppression. The famine mentioned here is not recorded in Judges. Bethlehem in Judah will be David’s hometown and, as descendants of David, Joseph and Mary will go to Bethlehem to be registered (cf. Luke 2:4). Bethlehem means the ‘house of bread’ but right now there is no bread there. The names are not those of real people and have been chosen mainly for their meaning. Emilech means ‘my God is king’, while Naomi is ‘my fair one’. The two sons, who die relatively young, are called Mahlon (‘sickness’) and Chilion (‘pining away’). Their two wives are called Orpah (‘she who turns away’) and Ruth (‘the beloved’). Naomi and Ruth are the two ‘lovely’ people in the story. It reminds one of the names given to the characters in John Bunyah’s Pilgrim’s Progress. Ruth, too, is one of the four women listed in Matthew’s genealogy of Jesus. The others are Tamar, Rahab and Bathsheba (Matt 1:3,5-6). After they moved to Moab, Elimelech died, leaving Naomi a widow with her two sons. This is the first blow. Each of her sons married local Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth, and the prospect of continuing the family line remained. The Moabites were descended from Moab, who was the son of a liaison between Lot and one of his daughters (Gen 19:36-37). (Both his daughters slept with him while he was too drunk to know what was happening.) Marriage with Moabite women was not forbidden to Hebrews, though no Moabite – or his sons to the 10th generation – was allowed to “enter the assembly of the Lord” (Deut 23:3). Then, after about 10 years, both the sons died. Naomi, a widow, was now left without her husband or her sons. Nor did her daughters-in-law have any sons to support them. Namoi’s emptiness is complete. She has neither husband nor sons. She has only two young daughters-in-law, both of them foreigners and both childless. It was a complete ‘kenosis’ or ‘emptying’. In those times, the lot of the widow could be a very sad one with no means of support and little chance of remarriage. All three women had become outsiders and rejects: of no more interest to their husband’s family and a disappointment to their own. Naomi then decided to leave the Plains of Moab and return to Bethlehem with her two daughters-in-law, having heard that God had visited his people and the famine was over. The ‘visit’ here is a way of expressing God’s blessing and favour on the place. It is just one point in the story where God’s control of events is recognised. Bethlehem, the house of bread, now has bread once more. There seems to be a mutual echoing between the famine in Bethlehem and the emptiness of Naomi and her daughters-in-law. The end of the famine foreshadows the end of the emptiness. So, together they all left the place and set out for Judah, Naomi’s homeland. However, on the way, she urged the two daughters-in-law to go back to their homeland. They had a better chance of finding husbands there than in Judah but they were reluctant to leave her. Then, with many tears, Orpah agreed to go back to her native place but Ruth insisted on staying with Naomi, one outsider offering to take care of another. While Orpah left reluctantly and only after the urging of Naomi, her departure highlights the loyalty and selfless devotion of Ruth to her desolate mother-in-law. Naomi still urged Ruth to go back with her sister to her own people and her gods. (The chief god of the Moabites was Chemosh.) But Ruth asked Naomi not to force her to leave or to prevent her staying with Naomi. She will accompany her mother-in-law into a future that shows no promise for either of them. She expresses her feelings beautifully, in poetic form: Wherever you go, I shall go, wherever you live, I shall live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Whereas Orpah returns to Moab and its god Chemosh, Ruth chooses Yahweh’s territory and his people; in doing so she will have no other God but him. Ruth is now doubly an outsider: she does not belong to the family of Naomi’s husband and she is a Gentile Moabite who has left her native land. It is this loyalty to her husband’s mother, a loyalty that was not expected and which transcended tribal and religious boundaries, which is one of the qualities for which Ruth is admired as a specially good woman. Indeed, very much a person for our time. She also anticipates the Gospel teaching that, before God, there are no outsiders. And so, the author tells us, that was how Naomi returned home to Bethlehem with her daughter-in-law Ruth the Moabitess from the Plains of Moab. The author keeps reminding the reader that Ruth is a foreigner from a despised people. “They arrived in Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest.” Naomi and Ruth arrive in Bethlehem just as the renewed fullness of the land is beginning to be harvested – an early hint that Naomi’s emptiness will be ended and she will be filled with joy again. Reference to the barley harvest also prepares the reader for the next major scene in the harvest fields. Harvesting grain in ancient Canaan took place in April and May (barley first, wheat a few weeks later). It involved the following steps: 1, cutting the ripened standing grain with hand sickles – usually done by men; 2, binding the grain into sheaves – usually done by women; 3, gleaning, i.e. gathering stalks of grain left behind; 4, transporting the sheaves to the threshing floor – often by donkey, sometimes by cart; 5, threshing, i.e. loosening the grain from the straw – usually done by the treading of cattle, but sometimes by toothed threshing sledges or the wheels of carts; 6, winnowing – done by tossing the grain into the air with winnowing forks so that the wind, which usually came up for a few hours in the afternoon, blew away the straw and chaff, leaving the grain at the winnower’s feet; 7, sifting the grain to remove any residual foreign matter; 8, bagging for transportation and storage. Threshing floors, where both threshing and winnowing occurred, were hard, smooth, open places, prepared on either rock or clay and carefully chosen for favourable exposure to the prevailing winds. They were usually on the east side – i.e., downwind – of the village. (NIV, edited) As mentioned, one of the special significances of this story for us is that Ruth is the great-grandmother of King David, who was from Bethlehem, and hence also an ancestor of Jesus and one of the four women mentioned by Matthew in the family tree of Jesus.