#bc I'm nothing if not dramatic
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I'm still figuring out the emotes mod I downloaded, but here's one of my favorite shots of the night :3
#zevlor#bg3 screenshots#I'm going to refine this and name it something like “a new oath is sworn” or “Devotion Reborn”#bc I'm nothing if not dramatic
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God and his staff
#kamen rider#kamen rider geats#kamen rider punkjack#win hareruya#ace ukiyo#acewin#punkgeats#tokusatsu#fanart#artists on tumblr#geats spoiler on caption??#i've found it - my mentos and coke ship#bc once peace reaches their world nothing takes out of my mind the idea of ace and win doing things for the lols#or at least ace would which is nuts to think win would be the brakes of the duo sdfghjk#and even if i'm wrong on ace's chars on that - i still think they work well together#'in exchange i'll pay you in happiness no money can buy' — "lol you continue to be a genius in fooling people'#this scene made them real to me ur honor sdfghjk#originally win would be like 'yo tsumuri-nee-chan' bc poor gal she did not signed up for that#gotta love my main geats ship being the most slowburn/dramatic/hurt/comfort/domestic/parenting example#and now the chaotic/lulz/no romance just funs and giggles/what if i change the world just enough to mess w buffa and tycoon for a treat#perfectly balanced as it should be lol
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Genuinely curious about what it is that makes me avoid perfectly doable and sometimes even enjoyable tasks like. Just today I seasoned a cast iron pan I got a year ago that I haven't used since bc it was unseasoned and I couldn't gather the energy. I didn't use my Hungarian credit card for months bc it had some issue and I couldn't get myself to make the 10 minute phone call it took to get it dealt with. I have 7 unopened chats and I still haven't treated my plants for spider mites in the two weeks since I bought the stuff necessary for it
#it's not even a 'phone in bed' stuck doing nothing kinda situation#bc I feel like I'm doing everything all the time!!!!#I'm a full time master's student with 12 courses a semester and I take art commissions fairly regularly#and I basically lead a household because my partner works a lot so most of the housework is on me#but when I do have free time I can't bring myself to do the things that need to be done and it's just stressing me out#the spider mites situation isn't too dire btw don't worry!!! I have gotten rid of them several times before#they just seem to be coming back again#but nothing too dramatic I'm just Vigilant#is this burnout? hmmmm
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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad#we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic#was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though#it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything#also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't#tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer#both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first#time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been#making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said#i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly#implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me#bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication#we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked#& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol#which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't#even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around#a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins#literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww#am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely#concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know
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So anyway I got back into Star Wars.
#in the WORST WAY#like#DAMN IT#this is the ONE ERA#THAT I HAVE NOTHING IN!!!#like.#ffs#(and yes I know there is fanfiction I can read)#(I am aware and I love it)#(but that does not solve the current problem)#(which is that I want to WRITE and CREATE and RANT but I have no IDEA as to WHAT)#(ALL REVVED UP BUT NO DIRECTION TO GO!!)#so anyway i made a meme about it#because apparently all of my updates can only be in meme form#speaking of which I'm going to go make a meme of a sw au bc there is NOTHING ELSE FOR ME TO DO (hyperbole/dramatic)#star wars#just yelling into the void#meme time
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Guys I missed the countdown by 7 minutes can we redo it?
#would anyone believe me if i said i was distracted by wrestling cable around a piece of wood#i got the best shower thought to pull my amp so it faces into my room instead of into the corner#just rotating it#and the fuckening cable was stuck under a wooden art project (like a canvas) and i had a sbahj moment trying to figure out...#...which side of the canvas the majority of the cable was on#i know where the cable is connected to the wall but i didnt know how far along i pushed it along the wall#ughhhhshdjdossb#rip my back but im determined to go into the new year playing guitar#so can we redo it now 14 minutes later? bc i cant explain the configuration of my room#ShitPost.exe#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#wait i need more minutes i think i gotta tune to C please hold idk what tune this band does#firmly grasp the moment. go back to 2359 and hold the moment for me ill hit unpuase when im good and ready#edit: unpause i was being dramatic its only drop D but i found the keyboard riff so ill learn that on guitar instead#WE'LL START FROM FIVE... 4... 3.. 2.. fuckyou#dundundununundundjndunnizndnndndjsn#listen up yall#edit 2: i wasn't being dramatic lmao the song i was planning on in the shower was actually C#but i changed my mind when i sat down bc i couldnt remember which song (ive had the playlist on repeat most of today#so fuck my life back to tuning ig#its okay tho i fiddled around on the midnight in my heart#wow can i say anything without innuendo#edit 3: oh thank god its drop c not c lmao still maybe i should prank future cori by leaving my guitar in drop c for the next time i play#gonna pull it out like 'holy shit whats wrong with this thang' (i would not lol i tune it every time)#but ill remember this moment and shake my fist at past cori bc theres nothing future cori can do to stop present cori#can u tell im procrastinating lol. my amp made a funny sound when i turned it on and its not nearly old enough to need warming up yet#fuck i mean i need time to warm up too but like . fuck lol.
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So texas just declared rebellion against the united states ....I live in Texas.... Not really sure how that's gonna go down but, alright, guess we're just fillin out the square that said "civil war" earlier than I expected....
#im not gonna lie to you#i live in san antonio and it's a haven for immigrants - it doesnt get along with greg#they tell greg to go fuck himself at regular intrevals#wich is great bc gregs fuckin stupid most of the time#so I'm a tad worried we may be on the targetted list but....i guess we just see how this plays out#maybe nothing will come of it besides texas just doing whatever tf it wants law wise#wich its always done anyway#gregs just being dramatic about it
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It's so wild to think your abusive childhood is normal until you start telling ppl about it rlly flippantly bc its so normal to you, and they look shocked.
#my fam gives me NOOOO sympathy#so i am just under the impression that everything ive gone through#isnt actually that big of a deal#and i shouldnt tell ppl about it#bc theyll think im complaining over nothing and#theyll tell me im being dramatic and gaslight me to make me think I'm the bad guy#bc thats what my fam does
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the issue with being irrationally angry is that sometimes even beating the shit out of a punching bag doesn't really help and at a certain point your choices are to keep going until you tear a muscle and bruise a bone or let your brain crumble under its own weight. and i've always preferred my damage to be emotional
#it's not that serious i'm being dramatic#im just pissed bc my social battery is drained and it's hot and i've nothing to do and i can't even watch a fucking show
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So, I just??? Randomly just the motivation for this??? So enjoy more Tealstar stuff ig lol. Tried to do a lot here, not sure how well it worked for me. You can tell I got a little rundown at Tongbi's part, but I was still really determined to finish this, so. Here ya go.
Chikao loved the storm.
The smell of fresh rain and the swirl of dark clouds overhead lit up by flashes of lightning that split the sky in two and sent deep, booming thunder rippling over the land was something she could never get tired of. Every lightning strike lit up her eyes, she could feel the vibration of thunder running deep within her bones, and the entire world was pulled just a little to the side by the chilling winds that whipped past.
She was fond of the world after a storm, too. The way the smell of rain lingered for a week afterwards, clouds drifted past so you could see sheets of rain coming down in the distance as they left, the sudden abundance of greens and the pinks and blues and yellows of plants as they sprouted up, the splashing of puddles gathered in random dips in the ground and squishing of deep brown mud as water sunk into the soil. She loved that. Loved everything about it.
And the best part was that she could do it. On a whim, whenever she wanted, she could summon the clouds and lightning and feel the very storm surging through her bones. She could feel the world come alive in a way so, so different than it did in the shine of the sun.
But, unfortunately, not everyone was so welcoming.
And why weren’t they? What was even the point of limiting her ability to create storms? Why did she have to “register” a storm or whatever to create one? It wasn’t like she was creating out-of-control tornados or setting forests on fire with lightning. Most of the time, it was just a little rain to give the village crops a boost!
But the Celestial Realm hadn’t seen it that way. The first time Nezha had come down to meet her, he had called it “undermining the Jade Emperor’s authority” and “breaking the laws of the Celestial Realm” and “a matter to be taken seriously”. But honestly? How could she take someone that had come down to lecture her about why she couldn’t summon rain without paperwork seriously.
And that was all it had been, for a while. Something funny, eventually just a friend coming down to spar. Barely an annoyance. Not even a concern.
And then Princess Iron Fan had joined him. And they’d struggled over the winds of the storm, trying to turn them on each other to gain an advantage. And then…
Flash
And then people had gotten hurt.
And the Celestial Realm was angry.
Stealing the Peaches of Immortality from their orchard? That was probably just the cherry on top.
But even when they’d come to arrest Chikao for her “crimes” (come on, they were peaches), they’d made a mistake to dare go after Tongbi.
Chikao sighed quietly as she stared up at the endless night sky, the stars twinkling back at her like tiny diamonds against a sheet of inky paint. It felt so close when the storm was swirling around it, the wind catching every little loose thing on the ground and throwing around every small hair out of place, but when the night was clear like this and she was laying on the ground beside Tongbi…it felt so, so far away. She itched for it to be close again, to touch the clouds and feel their water in her hands.
She wondered if, in a world where Nezha had time, where Nezha could step away from his celestial duties and just relax for a moment, they could fly around through the clouds and throw water at each other.
She didn’t live in that world. She didn’t know.
“Chikao?” Tongbi’s soft voice pulled Chikao out of her thoughts.
“Yeah?” Chikao rolled onto her side to look at Tongbi, flattening the grass beneath her.
Tongbi’s eyes stayed on the sky as he spoke and his hands picked through the fur on his tail. His voice was muffled by his dark green scarf as he buried his face into the fabric. “You won’t let them t-t-take you from me, will you?”
A small spark of anger flashed in her chest. She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant it. No Celestial Realm would change that. “Of course not. And I won’t let anyone hurt you, either.”
Tongbi didn’t respond and Chikao rolled back onto her back with a soft sigh. She didn’t want Tongbi to worry. He shouldn’t have had to worry. She dealt with Nezha and Iron Fan on her own fine, didn’t she? And then even when more celestials had shown up, she’d dealt with it. But Tongbi was still worried, and Chikao knew well by then that the only thing that was going to soothe his concern was time.
Time, or get rid of the Celestial Realm’s meddling completely, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.
At least, that’s what she thought, as the days went by and Tongbi slowly felt safe being outside of his library again. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.
Until the Brotherhood reached out with a dream. A dream of glory and ambition. A dream of change and prosperity. A dream of safety and comfort. A dream of freedom. A dream of storms.
A dream of a day storms could freely brew in the days, and the skies would be theirs at night.
A dream where the Celestial Realm wouldn’t meddle, Nezha could freely come and go, and Tongbi’s concerns would vanish.
And Chikao took it.
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Tongbi hated surprises.
The unexpected whirlwind of emotions he wasn’t ready for, having to think on his feet and his mind going blank, only moments to make a decision and if it was the wrong one he was doomed. The mounting pressure of what felt like a mountain behind his head and the crushing weight of do or die that he just couldn’t pull himself out of.
And the aftermath was worse. Because then there were a hundred different feelings all weighing him down like boulders, telling him there was some way to alleviate their weight but not giving him a single how-to. Sometimes the boulders were hot and sometimes electric and sometimes just heavy, and those meant different things, but he didn’t know what they meant. But apparently, knowing what they meant and how to sort them out was the very key to getting them under control sometimes, because otherwise every time he thought about the surprise he would trigger another rockslide.
Physically, Tongbi didn’t mind rocks, boulders, or even mountains. Feet on the ground, dig his heels in, take a deep breath and move. He could move boulders, sort out rockslides, split entire mountainsides in two that way. The boulders he could touch the rough or smooth surfaces of were lighter than the ones that crushed his heart and held him down in the corner with tears spilling onto blurry pages, but never had a texture.
Fortunately, people were welcoming.
It had been a strange change after the curious chirps of the monkeys that found him hiding away in caves on Flower Fruit Mountain, but a warm one. Chikao helped lift the boulders off his chest, explain some of the feelings and help him separate them apart so he could think without folding into a mess of matted fur and heavy emotions.
The warm nights of staring up at the stars and pointing out constellations as Chikao worked through his fur were the best nights he’d ever known. Spending days reading books about the sun aloud and telling Chikao about asteroids that flew by brought him a warmth he could never quite explain. Even the flower pin he had, with teal and red petals, served as a small comfort when he was alone, to remind him that someone cared.
Though he had been nervous at first, the village was nice too. Adults were happy to trust him to read about the phenomenon of eclipses to children and watch meteor showers with them, and the kids were always fascinated by his words and eager to ask questions and learn more. Even on days where he didn’t have books, several of them were ready to ask questions and listen to him ramble.
And even as they grew and had more chores and work to tend to, nobody minded when he sat on a bench and read the afternoon away.
Tongbi hummed a tune as his eyes scanned across neat words, written with meticulous precision. Dust kicked up into the air as the click clack of horseshoes went by, but Tongbi was fully absorbed, the rest of the world blurred as he imagined how it would feel to step on the moon. Would he feel lighter? Would it feel like stone on earth, or dust, or powder, or something else entirely? Would the stars look different? What kind of new star charts could he make from there?
“I’m bored!” The high-pitched whine of a kid caught his ear. He almost called out to invite them to read, but…no, they probably didn’t want to hear him. All of the kids he used to read to were teenagers or adults now, and had too much responsibility to bother listening to him anymore, and the new ones probably didn’t have any interest in him.
“Hey, this guy’ll read to you about some pretty cool stuff, if you wanna.” Tongbi glanced up from his book to see a teenager with long black hair running down past her shoulders and freckles mixing with the dust and dirt on her face. He felt a small flower of warmth bloom in his chest. He knew this kid. Did she still remember him?
“Ooo, like what?” One of the children asked as their arms swung back and forth.
“Well, you know the little white things that are up in the sky every night?” She smiled.
“Uh-huuuuh.” The kid nodded.
“Well, he taught me that those are called stars, and they’re actually very, very distant suns.” She said as she walked over to the bench Tongbi was sitting on.
“Woah!” Three kids followed her, their eyes shining brighter than the sun.
“But suns don’t look like that.” Another kid frowned.
“That’s the fun part.” She sat down in front of Tongbi and skimmed the title of his current book. “He’ll explain the whole thing.”
The kids promptly sat down in front of him, staring up with eager curiosity that filled Tongbi with warmth. He started explaining, slowly at first, then faster when they only seemed more intrigued. More children, kids playing in the village and teenagers he used to read to just finished with chores, came around him and sat down, enjoying his reading and explanations.
He hoped this never changed. And, luckily for him, it didn’t seem that was going to happen.
At least, that’s what he thought, as Tongbi’s reading slowly expanded to the entire village. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.
Until the Brotherhood reached out with a risk. A risk of danger and hostility. A risk of battle and bloodshed. A risk of pain and uncertainty. A risk of imprisonment. A risk of change.
A risk of ferocious and bloody battles by day, and wounded and torn foundations by night.
A risk of the Celestial Realm coming down with all their fury, Nezha would be injured, and Chikao being imprisoned.
And Tongbi denied it.
Tongbi denied the dream. Chikao took the risk.
#tealstars#I'm actually#not that upset about this??#I really like the first few paragraphs of Chikao's stuff#and I got a bit run down on Tongbi's part but it's still like#good? maybe a little less?#it's on the likeable spectrum I guess lol#I tried to do a lot here so I hope it worked#if nothing else I think this helps get their personalities down a little bit more#also I'm dramatic as hell when I write I'm aware there's a reason I relate to Macaque so hard XD#I kinda tried to parallel their bits a bit?? I hope that worked#I think I managed to some extent highlight the difference between them I really wanted to highlight#and still squeeze in some other stuff that's harder to get through in just drawings and rambles#anyway actually pretty happy with this one so :333#please tell me if you notice anything mainly bc I will be super happy if I got stuff across properly :3#I need to just make a post collecting all the tealstar stuff together at this point XD#y'know what maybe I'll do that#imma go do that now maybe perhaps#anyway enjoy!! I'll stop rambling now lol
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no listen you guys you have no idea how hard it is to resist also writing wylan here bc
#〣♚{ ooc }#bc what? you might ask#bc nothing it needs no explanation#big scary crow man and his fluffy criminal-in-training ?? we get both flavors#and both flavors are delicious#i feel like wy would be my “i'm so sorry about him--” character#that is desperately needed lbr#me 🤝 wylan out here apologizing for this dramatic bitch every time he opens his mouth#i love the crows sm i just am not satisfied no matter how much i get of them#cut to me writing the entire gang at this rate wakemeup#consider this: a complimentary wylan van sunshine for everyone who has had to deal with kaz#it's a prize for putting up with this bastard :|#in all seriousness tho if i ever did exercise the option he'd be a sideblog to this one so nothing MAJOR but#steeples fingers and stares vacantly
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why does my mom look at me like she's disappointed every time i tell her i'm going out w a guy
#it's the same guy every time btw#there's nothing wrong w going out w multiple guys but she's acts like it's a different guy every week. like she doesn't believe i'm telling#the truth. i get it cause i lie to her about it all the time but.. you're not even gonna pretend??#like.. you're annoyed i'm telling you the truth but if i never tell you anything you also get annoyed?? make up your mind girl#i hate telling her too. every time i walk up to her to do it i feel chains on my ankles. and i'm not being dramatic#i need to move out asap. it will bring me so much peace of mind#i'm 90% sure i will reach my full potential the second i'm out of my parents reach.#unfortunately it means i have to work 🤮 but anything for some peace#also my mom told my dad i'm going on a date and he??? told me to send him the guy's number??? wtf#like my dude.. i do not have his phone number. we need to be friends for 3 months before i give you my number in the first place.#sorry for the rant i'm just so tired of this.#like i literally don't want to go on any more dates if we have to do this all the time. it makes my desire for a bf disappear completely#bc if i have to do this multiple times in a year until i feel comfortable enough for the guy to come to my house i will shoot myself#keeping up with tina
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It's angst on a new level tbh
#there was a school shooting today#words cannot express how fucked up it is that this is even an issue#or how fucked up it is that when the news broke me and the second grade team were in a data meeting with RTI#and the teacher who was leading the meeting saw the news and told us and then we went on talking about data#bc there's nothing we could say or do despite being just a few hours away#and so we just went on with our meeting#i never dreamed this would be the world I'm teaching in#talked to a friend today who said he was glad his mom only had a year left before retirement#just one more year in what should be a safe place but could turn into a combat zone at any moment#I've thought a lot about my kiddos today#people talk about how teachers without personal children just Don't Get It in a lot of ways#but as dramatic as it sounds i honestly cant imagine loving my personal child any more than i love these kids. not that I wouldnt love them#just...that i really love my kiddos#and I can honestly say that i think i would do anything for them#im going to go cry some more#and then plan for tomorrow as best as i can#and im going to cherish every second tomorrow. even the ones that are not the best. because they're seconds we get.#just my ramblings#cw vent#personal vent#teacher sadie rides the struggle bus#student teacher sadie ✨
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I'm gonna go fucking insane
#everythings wrong but nothing is wrong and I wanna fucking throw up and screan#I'm fine#its fine I'm being dramatic its fucking fine#I'm just outside getting breath pf air bc I'm going fucking crazy and my heads fucking buzzing in the worst way#anyway my period shud b coming up any moment now so thats why I'm falling back into bad shit mentally#gonna drink n have fun and not think abt everything i have apperantly only been doing shit#its all great its fine#delete later#kyle.txt
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going to sleep soon ~ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ~#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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why is this MY LIFEEE i've been crushing on this girl all year who's an RA in my building and i literally don't even know her name or if she even likes girls (she gives vibes like she does though) but she's so cute and she has this dog who i always see that's adorable too and anyways yeah i have this stupid insane crush on this girl who doesn't know i exist. anyways just now i was sitting outside staring at the moon feeling sorry for myself and a little dramatic and she comes outside with her dog and her dog runs up to me and she lets me pet them and we talk for a little bit but then she i guess needs to wear her dog out a little so they go to sleep so she plays catch with her dog while i go back to being dramatic staring at the sky and then i left because i freaked out and couldn't go talk to her like a normal fucking person. and she didn't really give the vibes that she even really wanted to be friends with me like she was kinda just being polite while i was obviously more into our convo so i think i need to just leave it alone but this is horrible. i've liked her all year and we finally talk for the first time out of nowhere in a situation which quite frankly feels like fate but nothing happens i don't even catch her name and she doesn't ask me for mine. and it's the end of the year and i'm literally never gonna see her again. i hate my life so much why is the universe constantly playing a cosmic joke on me
#shut up hanna#i had sobered up by the time she got there too so i'm gonna remember this whole thing i wanna die#it's probably better that i don't get to know her so i can live in this little fantasy of what she might be like#bc for all i know she might be straight or she more likely has a girlfriend that she's in love with and i'm just insane and delusional#but it's so sad nothing like this ever happens to me and it really did kinda feel like fate#and i don't like feeling like i had a chance and wasted it by not talking to her more. idm#maybe i'm not totally sobered up actually or this wouldn't be driving me crazy#i was also like obviously having a bad time before she showed up and was kinda planning on crying while staring at the moon in a very#dramatic but cathartic kinda way#but she and her adorable dog made me feel so much better and that honestly kinda piaawa#pisses me off#ok i need to go to bed good night
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