#bc I feel like *i* just wrote some GA fanfic

[devi1sange1]

If sjm is truly planning on Gwynriel, she dropped the ball because…

“There are plenty of other unspeakable things that could be happening to her, Cassian said, voice thickening, “To Emerie and Gwyn.” The shadows deepened around Azriel, his siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. “You— we trained them well Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.”

Will NEVER be—

But Azriel asked softly, “What about Elain?”

From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

I stood. Met Azriel’s wrathful stare.

Azriel was honing Truth-Teller with relentless focus…

Azriel’s shadow hand grasped my own, tugging me closer. His rage rippled off his invisible form.

Azriel gently removed the gag from her mouth, “Are you hurt?” She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. “You came for me.” The shadowsinger only inclined his head.

And no, I’m not even talking about the fact that Azriel risked his life to save Elain, because sure, it was illegal to save Gwyn in the rite (it’s not like he’s incredibly defiant and doesn’t gaf about the Illyrians but sure). It’s the complete lack of reaction. A common argument I see is, “Well we don’t have Azriel’s point of view of the BR.” But… we don’t have his pov of the Elain rescue either. You guys know you can still convey a characters feelings without their pov right?

Notice how when Elain was taken, Feyre repeatedly mentions Azriel’s rage, his wrath, his precise focus and determination on rescuing Elain. And she’s not even his supposed mate. You can’t include any of that at all when his supposed mate is kidnapped by the same people that abused and bullied him? Notice how easy it was to include how enraged Azriel was at the idea of Elain being hurt. Do you know how easy it would have been to include similar language when the Valkyries were taken?

Listen I’m no writer, but just spit ballin here (forgive me this feels like a crime):

Azriel said tightly, “My spies got word that Eris has been captured by Briallyn. She sent his remaining soldiers after him while he was out hunting with his hounds. They grabbed him and somehow, they were all winnowed back to her palace. I’m guessing using Koschei’s power.” […] Az said, “We have to get him out.” Cassian drew up short. “We?” Cassian could tell by the look on Azriel’s face, by the cold rage that practically seeped from the shadowsinger like his shadows, that Azriel liked this plan just about as much as he did. The sheer determination that Azriel usually possessed when given a mission gone, his focus, his mind, somewhere else entirely. The spymaster mirrored Cassian’s own feelings right back at him: pain, rage, and something else he couldn’t quite place.

Or…

“There are plenty of other unspeakable things that could be happening to her, Cassian said, voice thickening, “To Emerie and Gwyn.” The shadows deepened around Azriel, his siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. “You— we trained them well Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.” But Cassian could tell that something was off with his brother, in the way he spoke. He couldn’t tell if Azriel was trying to convince him of this matter, or if he was more trying to convince himself. Azriel’s focus drifted, and Cassian saw it then, the rage in his eyes, in his demeanor… it was the same as his own. And Cassian wondered if Azriel, too, felt like a piece of him was missing, if he understood how this waiting game was gnawing at some primal part of him, a part that was aching to be unleashed.

AND ITS THAT EASY!

Like seriously this is the “mating bond” people fight tooth and nail to defend? Is this truly the couple that SJM is trying to get us to fall in love with in preparation for the next book? Because she honestly did a poor job if that’s the case. So which is it? Are they not endgame/mates or are they another drop in the ‘poorly written by sjm’ bucket?

[bthump]

What would it be like if GA Griffith and NeoGriff suddenly swapped bodies

Well it'd be a kickass fanfic premise.

NGriff in the Golden Age would be interesting from NGriff's pov because of, let's be real here, all the feelings it would unlock that NGriff would try and eventually, inevitably fail to deny. I think he could play the part of human Griffith relatively well, especially if it's post-Promrose when Guts expects to view Griffith as distant and other. He and Casca might notice something's off, but they'd probably chalk it up to Griffith spending so much time around the nobility or something like that.

But yeah emotionally he'd be fucked lol, and it would be great. I can just imagine him bottling it up and playing the part, going through the motions to keep the past on the correct path until they swap back, but when the second duel comes around he fucks it up and maims Guts instead of losing to him.

Idk how that works with fate or whatever magic sent him into the past, but NGriff's stay there culminating in changing everything in one impulsive very slightly altered sword swing feels so right. Say once the timeline's been ruined they shift back bc that's how mysterious time travel works in fiction. Or yk, NGriff disappears because he just wrote himself out of existence. Or say NGriff knows why it happened and knows it'll only last X amount of time and the 2nd duel was one of the last things in the schedule before returning to the future. Point is, human Griffith returns with a new future laid out.

Human Griffith in NGriff's storyline would also be amazing because his angle is experiencing what it's like to have gained everything he ever wanted at the cost of Guts and the Hawks, and realizing he doesn't want it. But at the same time it's extra complicated bc NGriff did like, create a utopia. Human Griffith's gonna be hanging out in Falconia going 'damn I really followed through here.' Which makes his choice even worse, because he'd be trading a certain roaring success for Guts and much less, if any, success.

Though this could be mitigated a little if human Griffith is more disturbed by NGriff's means of yk, bringing dragons into the world. It could be a good eye-opening revelation of the cost of his dream, beyond his own personal relationships. I don't think he could write off the lives lost to fantasy creatures the way NGriff can.

He would obviously have to come face to face with Guts, see how much Guts hates him now, and be horrified.

And it's even better from Guts' perspective because he goes to confront and kill NGriff and finds the Griffith he's still in love with in his place, and that's just ideal romantic drama. Guts swinging his sword and altering the trajectory to miss him at the last second when he looks into Griffith's eyes and instantly fucking knows. I'd be remiss not to link this amazing fanart of that theoretical moment here btw.

That could also be a revelation for Griffith too - the realization that as much as Guts hates who he became, he loved and still loves him. Like, say Griffith has learned what happened in the Eclipse - Casca's kidnapped and hanging around, maybe he used his god powers to read her mind. (Also human Griff and post Eclipse sane amnesiac Casca would be its own wild can of worms, but I'm not gonna get into that bc that would take too much imagination.) Point is he knows why Guts wants to kill him, thinks Guts is absolutely 1000% justified, probably plans to let him, and so when Guts refrains and like, let's be real here, probably desperately kisses him instead, that's a major wake-up call about the nature of Guts' feelings.

If this is the same fic where they swap back after NGriff fucks up the second duel, it could be a perfect moment for human Griff to reappear in the past, in front of an injured, miserable Guts, and do some confessing. And it would be a perfect moment for NGriff to return, say something ambiguous, and... either kill Guts or let Guts kill him, depending on the fic's vibes and how NGriff's side of the story went. Maybe he can kill Guts with a certain sense of serenity knowing there's a parallel universe out there where they can be happy. Maybe the timeline's about to collapse and he lets Guts kill him because it doesn't matter anymore and it's a moment of spiritual fulfillment and joining. Maybe his emotions have been awoken enough that he wants to die. Maybe his emotions have been awoken enough that he wants to kill Guts for still affecting him. Yk, it's all good here.

Thanks for asking, this was a lot of fun to think about!

[everythingsinred]

what follows is a long, rambly, and possibly sappy thank you note to the best fandom ive ever involved myself in. if you have ever sent me an ask, commented on my fics, or replied to a post i made (or even liked it tbh)--then this post is for you. (and this is most certainly not a good-bye or even close; i just occasionally get into sappy moods)

i want to start working on a career that i like, and my mom’s recommendation was to start a writing blog (she insisted i dont call it that though--to call it a “website” so it sounds more professional when i apply for writing gigs). its not the first time shes given me that advice but i have for some reason always resisted that idea before. “nobody would read it” was always the bottom line. that whole “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has always been my outlook on anything i produce. its why i feel so poorly whenever i post a new chapter of a fic or any art ever. its why im taking so long on the next batch of ga essays. its why ive never formally submitted any writing ever for publishing. why would anyone read anything i have to write, especially with no dead fandom to prompt them? who would choose me out of all the aspiring writers out there?

for ga it was a bit easier after a bit of breaking through the initial anxiety of sharing bits of myself. its a small fandom. not much content going around. theyd take anything right? even if it was from me! 

but something really weird happened these past few years in the ga fandom. i started writing essays and became more vocal, posting my thoughts, writing a long, dark, fucked up fanfic. i got feedback from people who wanted more from me. theyd ask me my thoughts on things, when id never considered myself an authority on anything or even very interesting to talk to (a lifetime of being the substitute friend will do that to you). ppl sent me asks about questions. they replied to my posts to further discuss things. me! what on earth?

then it got weirder. i posted my weird messed up little fic and now every once in a while ill get a comment from a person that says that my fic is their favorite, not just in the fandom, but ever. EVER. what? a couple of people have told me that they’d read anything i wrote, even if it had nothing to do with gakuen alice.

that they’d read something just because it was me.

this isnt a rant or a vent. something has changed in my self esteem in the past few years because today, when my mom told me i should start a “writing website” and post weekly writing, it actually sounded like a decent idea. no part of her advice was different than it had ever been, but i was. i could for the first time imagine starting a blog (website) and picture someone actually liking what they found there. and that’s bc of the ga fandom and bc of the writing ive done it for it and SPECIFICALLY the writing ive actually had the guts to share. 

none of it has been perfect. im lazy when it comes to self-editing and when i finish writing a chapter im eager to just throw it out there instead of rereading it once, let alone twice. a lot of it has been imperfect, but you guys still read it. you enjoyed it, even. “it has to be perfect to make up for the fact that it’s me” has never been a problem for you. for whatever reason, quite a few of you like me, like my writing, like my ideas and thoughts. a couple of years ago i wouldnt have been able to fathom that, not even in my wildest dreams. 

im proud of myself for taking those first steps a couple years back, for posting those first couple posts and letting myself get involved in the fandom for a manga ive loved for half my life. im proud because if i hadnt done that, then maybe my self esteem wouldnt have developed like this. maybe i wouldnt have been able to picture a career in publishing as clearly as i can now. i obviously still have issues as far as my self esteem is concerned. i second-guess myself. i talk down to myself. i put off rereading bc i dont want to hate what i create. but you guys have helped me like my writing and helped me see that other people can like it too.

i am beyond grateful for that. i dont get a lot of traction or feedback like i would if i were in a larger fandom, but i dont mind. the feedback that i do get is of such good quality and has meant so much to me that it has potentially changed my life. i just needed you all to know that. that the people who have sent me asks, both on and off anon, requesting my thoughts on any topic; the people who leave comments on ffn and ao3, giving support ranging from long paragraphs to a brief sentence; the people who dm me or message me to share their thoughts on my work; the people who commented on my natsumikan essays telling me that ive helped them see something from a different perspective--you all have helped me see that there’s value in the things i create. 

i just want to say thank you. it has meant so much to me so far to be able to feel so confident in my writing. i really didnt even notice the change until today. how bizarre is it that something so important can change without you even noticing? i look forward to sharing more with you, from more fics to the mikan essay (which still has to be perfect, just maybe not as perfect as it wouldve had to be a few years ago lol). 

don’t be nervous that this a good-bye. it is not. it’s strange because whenever i’ve said anything like this (sent a message of adoration to a person i love, for example), people think it’s a bad sign. that i’m saying good-bye, or that it’s somehow a sign of something unsaid. i understand. this kind of nonsense sappiness (like all that stuff i wrote up there ^) is usually saved for the ffn bio when someone is leaving the site, for the good-bye post when someone decides to leave a fandom. “you’ve all meant so much to me and i’m leaving now.” that’s because usually people save all the important things for the end. you only say how you’ve felt when you say farewell. i don’t think life should be that way. i’m not saying good-bye, i’m saying i love you. i think people should say that more. i want people to feel good about themselves for what they’ve done, however small, to make my life--and undoubtedly the lives of others--a little brighter. and you have. you should know and i don’t intend to keep it to myself until i say good-bye (whenever or even if that happens). 

tldr; i love you gakuen alice fandom <3 youre not dead because dead things cant give life the way you have.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

"Its 10pm and Id like to read at least one more volume" I said before proceeding to stay up until 4:30am reading this manga until I was finished

So yeah, Im writing this at around 8:30am having gotten three hours of sleep and one hour of laying in bed awake, after I finished volume 30 chapter 165 of the black hutler and Id like to talk about some of my thoughts

I know that the emglish and japanese version are already further along than that (I mean, if my research was correct volume 31 did come out in german already, I just couldnt find a physical copy at either of my local bookstores), so I would appreciate it if you didnt spoil me

So yeah, non-spoilers first I guess:

Honestly, I had kind of mixed feelings about a lot of the... revelations ? is probably the best word? I dont know, like, I was reading this and I just kinda let myself be taken along for this thrilling rollercoaster of emotions but while I was doing that, I couldnt help but notice this nagging feeling of "uohhhh, i dont really like where this going" in the back of my mind, which made for a bit of a 'conflicting' read. Even now that Im fully awake looking back on it, I still dont quite know how to feel. I feel like with these kinds of wild storylines it always more or less depends on the conclusion, so I guess I'll wait for that

Also, as for my theory about the people from the Undertakers medallions being people who entered contracts with demons, Im a little less sure about that now?? Idk why because nothing happened that would contradict this

And thats pretty much it, I'll go into some of the more spoiler-y details now

HOLY HELL THAT TWIN TWIST WAS INSANE WTF MAN

like, I was kinda spoiled for this because Ive read a few fanfics where this is sort of mentioned, although it qas alqays in a pretty vague way and I was still shocked

Heres what I wrote to my friends in a discord server Im in right after the older brother showed up:

"Oh god

This arc was already some insane bullshit but Something just happened sorry if I spam in advance

Theres two Ciels

I was already kinda spoiled for this but still

like, okay, so in the previous arc Ciel had to be forcefed w/ a funnel so he wouldnt die of mustard gas poisoning and it triggered some traumatic memories from his past and he had an episode where he wouldnt let any adult touch him and during whole ordeal he would, idk dream or hallucinate or something

And he would hallucinate about himself standing on this beg chess board with a pretty outfit and a version of himself without the contract seal

And I was like 'surely this cant be literal, it has to be symbolic" yknow, the version of Ciel without the contract seal is an untainted version, possibly what he vouldve been if it wasnt for that day

NOPE

I WAS WRONG"

so yeah, that was something.

I still dont know how to feel about this, like, it makes sense even though its pretty clear to me that they came up with this twist a bit later on (I believe they had this idea a little before the Campania arc, I remember that scene during the extended flashback where hes standing in front of his parents graves also having a small cut-off panel with a gravestone with Ciels name on it), but ugh. Idk I'll just see how it goes I guess

I am sooooo curious about whats up with the Undertaker and the Phantomhives like ??? Bro, he CRIED looking at a picture of Vincent thats so weird. And obviously he went through all the trouble of reviving Ciel thats wild. So yeah, very excited to see where that goes

Im also very excited to see what theyre gonna do with Soma now. I really liked Agnis death and I while it felt like his change in personality was a bit jarring, I do like him becoming more jaded like Ciel. Theres a vertain irony to it bc he did admire him and sort of wanted to be like him in some way

Ngl I found it so frustrating how Lizzy and the Midfords and Tanaka just fully abandoned (our) Ciel after the other one showed up. Lizzy especially because its like

[stylinbreeze60]

My “WIPs”

Thanks @sugaandyams. I don't get tagged too often, so thank you!

“The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.”

Oh my goodness. I had stuffed saved in all different places. I’ll start with the folders that contained fics that are incomplete. Welp, here I go!

Great Galactic War - this folder is the dump for my Haikyuu space/war AU, one of three or four fics I may focus on writing in the near future (first chapter is already published); the folder has very little atm, but I have about two dozen different scenes on my phone that aren't saved on PC

Kenma Project - the dump for my actively ongoing Haikyuu next gen captain war AU. I have a file in here further titled Ennoshita chapter. I wonder what that’s about? ;)

Three Kings - the dump for my Haikyuu samurai AU starring Hinata and Noya, the second possible fic I may commit to writing (first 2 chapters already published); there’s a chapter outline (which is dated because I’ve updated it in my head so much), and there are notes and many chapter tidbits on my phone too

Vice - the dump for a canonverse Haikyuu fic that was borne from a desire to write more Nekoma, so I subjected them to debilitating angst. There’s a rough chapter outline in here, and there are a couple of chapter drafts saved as emails on my phone. It’s the third fic that I might commit my time to (first 2 chapters, starring poor Inuoka, already published)

March of Justice - this folder was the dump for my aborted One Piece/My Hero Academia crossover, in which a couple of One Piece villains travel to the BnHA universe to conquer it

And here’s the rest I found. Some of these are just notes on fanciful ideas I had for a day and then never revisited. Others were never intended to see the light of day whatsoever

Abe dake ga Inai Machi - Oofuri-Erased - oh goodness. I had to stare at that title for a while to figure out what was wrong with it. An Oofuri/Big Windup fanfic that I didn’t play with for very long, but I was surprised to find I actually wrote the first chapter. Like Boku Dake ga Inai Machi (Erased), there’s a murder and then Abe finds himself transported back to the start of the Oofuri series, 10 months earlier. I reread some of this first chapter, and by my standards, it’s awful

Ace of Diamond - scandal fanfic - one of the ones never intended to see the light of day. It’s just notes. Basically Seidou pulls off its own Black Sox scandal and gets nailed, with some drama over whether Eijun is actually guilty

Ace of Iron / Ace of Swords - a Diamond no Ace samurai AU, mostly notes but also including drafts of a first chapter. It grew so huge there was no chance I could ever write it as a fanfic, so I actually converted it into an original story idea that I may do something with some day

Big Windup - cheating ploy disaster - this one is just notes and also never intended to see the light of day. An Oofuri idea in which Nishiura’s defeated rivals suspect them of cheating and kidnap the club boys to force them to confess. It goes even more downhill. (I’m very glad that, since discovering Haikyuu, I now conceive fanfics I actually want to write.)

Day of the Countercoup - I had to dig to find this one cos I knew it existed, but it wasn't a file. It was a tab in an Excel doc I used for my Haikyuu political AU, Coup d’Etat. It’s notes for an aborted sequel (Coup d’Etat’s original title was “Night of the Coup,” hence this contrasting title) that I scrapped soon after starting work on it. So glad too! Coup d’Etat got its due, and that AUverse shall be left to itself now

Haikyu - Gospel of Shouyou - oh goodness. I’m not gonna explain this one. Me experimenting, not intended to see the light of day

Haikyu - Nightmare from Heaven - this one may be the fourth candidate for continuation as a long-term fic but is currently unpublished. A war/occupation fic in which Miyagi Prefecture is conquered during a contemporary World War III, and the Karasuno boys must now live under foreign military occupation. The first chapter and part of the second were written, and I've got several notes on my phone and PC about subsequent chapters. Thank goodness tensions in that part of the world have simmered down since I devised it

Life Hereafter - Chapter 6.5 alternate ending - oh no. Life Hereafter is my darkest and most sensitive fic, published only on FFN, written to process a RL tragedy I was distantly affected by. I struggled with the ending of Chapter 6, which covered Tsukki and Yamaguchi’s coping with the canonverse tragedy. One draft (called “6.5″ in case I ever wanted to publish it, but I likely never will) featured Tsukki, seeking solace and desperately wanting to console Yamaguchi, giving in to poor judgment and kissing him. Only to then learn Yamaguchi doesn't have the same feelings back. Topping off their hurt with this was far too cruel and painful, and even before I started typing it, I knew I wouldn’t actually publish it. Rereading the draft even now made me feel uncomfortable which is why I kept it because it’s perhaps the best friendship-ruining moment I’ve ever written

Oofuri fanfic - Sakura Conspiracy - I thought I wrote a chapter 1 draft too, but this is an outline for a WWII Oofuri AU in which Nishiura, after winning Koshien in the late 20s or early 30s, moves on to military and political careers, one of their former teammates dies under suspicious circumstances, and Mihashi fears one of his old teammates may be responsible. The story stretches from 1937 to 1945

I'm actually surprised I found no notes on my Haikyuu mafia AU idea. I guess I never actually transcribed any, even though the plot is substantially complete in my head!

These four are all notes for gigantic crossovers:

Periods of World fanfic - This was an experiment, in which each century from 2000 BC to 2000 AD was listed out, a different part of the world selected for each century, and then a different anime or manga assigned to each part of the world. The idea was to write a chapter set in that century in that area starring those characters. The last chapter, for the new millennium, would have covered all parts of the world. The file is dated 2013. It never became more than this list

Periods of World fanfic 2 - and so it seems I tried again! This file is dated 2014 and shows just a teeny bit more dedication, with the 20th century further subdivided into decades, then every year from 2000-2009, and then every six months for 2010-2014. There are some different anime choices than the 2013 version. Never went anywhere with it, never gonna

Reborn epic crossover anime tribute layout - yes, that’s the literal filename. This is from my days as a Katekyo Hitman Reborn fan, and I don't even recognize most of the character names anymore. Apparently the villains of Reborn travel to seven other anime universes to kidnap major characters to sacrifice them as part of some weird magic scheme that I can’t properly decipher now

Random multi-anime WWII fanfic plan - yes, that’s also the literal filename. This is an outline for a 50-chapter crossover set before and during World War II, where the main characters of Naruto are Russian, One Piece are British, Bleach are French, Katekyo Hitman Reborn are German, Blue Exorcist are Italian, Fairy Tail are Japanese, and Ed and Al from FMA are American. The plot is emotionally devastating, doesn’t pull the punches on all sorts of WWII-related triggers, and frequently and cruelly denies catharsis.

To be perfectly honest though, rereading it, I swear this is the best story I have ever invented! It has a heartrending blend of tragedy, poignant poetic justice, subplot causality, and social commentary and contains few of the traps I sometimes fall into like cheap shock and subplots going nowhere. I really wish I could do something with this narrative now

And I’ll count the hefty handful of TV scripts I’ve written in an effort to practice and hone my scriptwriting skills. All but the last one of these are hypothetical new seasons of real anime:

Blue Exorcist s2 - 1 episode. My attempt to write the Impure King arc, years before they actually produced the Impure King arc. This was not my best work

Noragami: God’s Secret - 2 episodes for a manga-based Season 3. These were pretty decent imo

Oofuri/Big Windup: The Coming of Fall - 17 episodes. I got really into this one. A speculative season 3 assuming three cours (imo we probably won’t be blessed with that many episodes if season 3 comes), covering everything up until the end of the fall tournament. The first 13 episodes covered the story up to chapter 84 minus the Kasukabe match, followed by an OVA (ep 13.5), and then I was working on the Kasukabe match told in hindsight before planning to continue with the big game of the fall prelims. The third cour would have covered the fall tournament itself

Mekakucity Actors XX - 4 episodes. My own idea for a season 2/alternate ending. Because I was very conflicted with how the anime ended

School Babysitters - this was an original episode idea for Gakuen Babysitters that I enjoyed writing very much but turned out too long (40 pages) and features the babies turning into insects. I wouldn't mind publishing it somewhere actually!

I am going to tag @wire-pudding and @kemoiunder! Anyone else who reads this and wants to explore the abyss that is non-started WIPs, be my guest too!

[stevethehairington]

Fanfic Meme

I was tagged by the lovely @gracie137blogs​ thank you bb  😘😘

Your favorite fic you’ve written:

I Have Hella Feelings For You E 19k

I actually have a lot of fics I’ve written that I really love, but this one ranks just a bit higher than the others for a few reasons. It was the first chaptered fic I ever posted so it holds a special place in my heart because of that. But also, when I first started writing it I only was planning on having 3 chapters but it ended up being 8 in the end and I wrote a chapter a day and posted it as I wrote like that. So I’m pretty proud of how well it turned out. And it got a really really good response which makes me even happier and makes me love it even more. 

Your least favorite fic you’ve written:

Stjerner Lyser Skinnede GA 2k

Okay so it was a tossup between this fic and my Queer Eye au but this one won out because I at least liked the beginning of my Queer Eye au lmao. But this was written in desperation. I hadn’t posted anything in a while and was just beginning to get out of a really bad writers block and I whipped this up and I kind of hated it but posted it anyways. But yeah, I feel like this one has no substance so I don’t really like it that much tbh. But I don’t delete fics so it stays up there.

Your most popular fic:

I Have Hella Feelings For You E 19k

Ayeee this one again haha. This is my most popular fic and tbh I’m pretty damn proud of that! Like I said before, this one’s special to me so I’m glad it’s my most popular. 

The fic you wish more people would read:

Lily White, Hold Me Tight GA 4.3k OR Quality of Convictions GA 3.6k

Okay this one’s a tie because I couldn’t pick between these two.  Lily White is one of my favorite things I’ve written and I feel like it’s underappreciated lol. I have Strong Feelings about Bucky being drafted instead of enlisting and that’s what that fic is basically about; in it Steve finds his draft notice. I’d say it’s minor angst bc Bucky and Steve both get emotional about it but it’s resolved quickly. Quality of Convictions is another one I really love that gets like no attention. It’s a Harry Potter au, which I understand isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but idk I just really love how this one turned out so I wish more people would give it a chance.

The fic you most enjoyed writing:

Lies As Sweet As Chocolate GA 3.7k

Ahh okay so I’ve enjoyed writing a lot of the fics I’ve posted but this one in particular came to me so easily which made it that much more enjoyable of a process to write. It was written for Spierfeld week, in which I wrote a fic a day for a whole week skljgd it was Busy but So Fun, and I ended up writing at least two of my favorite fics for it and this was one of them! I just loved getting into Bram’s head in this one and writing his panic when it comes to all things coffee haha. 

The fic you found hardest to write:

All Things (Just Keep Getting Better) GA 12.5k 

This was the easiest one of these to pick for lmaoo. This fic. *sigh* It was just. so. damn. hard. to. write. This was my entry for the Skam Reverse Bang 2018 and at this point, I had signed up for the reverse bang hoping it would help me re-find my inspiration for writing Skam, but it didn’t end up working out like that lol. The first like 1k or 2k (basically the whole car scene in the beginning) came so easily to me, I wrote it before I even knew I had this particular art to write for lol. But as time went on it got harder and harder to write for this and I ended up leaving it for last minute... oops... and I had to rush through it to finish which made me hate how it turned out. So yeah. This one is probably my least favorite thing I’ve written after Stjerner Lyser Skinnede. Which sucks because I really wanted to do it justice because I love the heck out of Queer Eye. But. Circumstances, I guess.

Your funniest fic:

I Just Had Sex M 2k

Haha this fic. Oh man, okay so a pal brought up the thomas the tank engine version of my neck, my back (don’t ask) which started a conversation of wack ass sex songs lol and I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island was brought up and I suggested a fic idea based on it and got coerced into writing it lmao thus this fic was born. It’s not a crack fic or anything but it’s the closest I’ve gotten to writing a crack fic and I think it’s pretty amusing so. 

Your saddest fic:

Lily White, Hold Me Tight GA 4.3k

I actually don’t have like any angsty or sad fics, which is honestly kind of a shame because I would love to have more of those, they can be kind of fun to write sometimes sfljdf. But this would definitely be my saddest. Like I explained earlier it’s Steve finding Bucky’s draft notice and confronting Bucky about it and Bucky like kind of breaks down when explaining why he didn’t tell Steve about it and told him he enlisted instead. It has a nicer ending, but yeah, it gets pretty emotional. But honestly, it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written.  (Honorable mention to the p much finished skam divorce fic in my drafts that I’ll probably never post. That one was hella sad, especially if I didn’t go with the happy ending bits I had in mind. It would have easier taken this spot if I ever posted it but I didn’t and never will)

The fic you’d like to be remembered for:

I Have Hella Feelings For You E 12k OR If You Love Me, If You Hate Me E 44.3k+

Ideally, I would love to be remembered by a different fic for each fandom I’m in lmaoo but that’s definitely unlikely.  Actually, once I finish my Stucky AU Big Bang fic (and tbh the other rom com au I’m working on) that’s probably going to be the fic I’m most proud of and would most like to be remembered for but since that’s not finished or posted yet I’ll go with these two lol.  Both of these fics are very special to me, for reasons previously stated for Hella Feelings but not IYLMIYHM. That one was a gift for one of my pals for the Skam Intl Secret Admirer Exchange we did and that fic honestly was a blast to write. I complained about it a whole helluva lot lol but I really did enjoy myself writing it and some of the chapters have some of my favorite things I’ve written (i.e. the sex scene in like chapter 7 i think it is?? love that shit srgldfdg can you say that about your own smut? lmao). But yeah, these are my two chaptered fics so far (even though the second one is still unfinished ripppp) and I’m insanely proud of both of them and I think they’d be pretty bomb things to be remembered by. (Also they’re my most popular fics so if anything these would be the ones I’m known for lmao)

Tagging: @medicineontour @chloevlntine @julian-dahl @julieseven @odette-and-odile @dottieapple @flightyrock @stevergrsno and any of my other writer friends that want to do this!! Just say I tagged you! <3

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Get to Know the Writer Tag Thing

idk if that’s the actual name lol, i just copied and pasted the questions and came up with my own title ^_^;

was tagged by @queen-of-ice101, thanks babe. these are always fun to do

1. Pen or Pencil

i don’t think i’ve written fanfic on paper in forever wow, but when i did (or occasionally will do), i always used pen. i hate making mistakes and having to clumsily cross it out, but pens are smoother and don’t make noise. honestly writing with a good pen on a thick pad of paper is a stim for me

2. Have you ever drawn your OC’s?

twice. and of only one of my ocs. both for inktober 2018. other than that, not really. i’d like to get into drawing more, but i’m just really more of a writer at this point in my life. also drawing ppl??? is so hard???

3. Does your writing ever make you cry?

not that i can remember. chapter 49 in i need another story almost made me cry, but mostly when i’m thinking abt painful scenes, my heart aches. even then, once i’ve envisioned it a lot, the ache eventually disappears. unless i forget abt it, then come back to it, or if it’s just a really painful scene, then the ache never really goes away when i’m thinking abt the scene

but no, bc i guess they’re my ideas. i’m expecting them, i’m writing them, and eventually become desensitized to them

4: If your Muse was a person, what would they look like?

okay so i’m confused by the wording of the question. bc at first i thought muses could be anything. then it occurred to me that they might only be ppl??? or at least take human-like shape bc they’re, i’m assuming, based on the nine muses of greek mythology, who take human shape/form.

maybe i’m reading too much into the question. anyway, my muse has never been a person/taken human shape if i’m honest. it’s been more of an amorphous blob that i haven’t really felt the need to give shape/form to. so to tell you what it would look like as a person...don’t know if i can do that lol

my muse is way more abstract, and i’ve never felt the need to make it concrete in any way

5: Which of your pieces would you choose to be remembered for?

like most writers, i’d like to be remembered for a published book of my own work. read riordan gave me an idea to base a book around chinese mythology, and which takes place in china. who knows, i may even write it in chinese first bc i’d like to become that fluent. the trick to this answer is that right now, this idea is also just an amorphous blob rn lol. i don’t have the time to do the research or flesh out the plot/characters (i don’t even really have those two things lmao). much too busy for that i’m afraid ;_; there is a one-act play i wrote for my creative writing class i’m particularly proud of currently

if i were to pick my fanfic i’d prob have to say itps--the oc pjo story. but only bc i’ve worked so long and so hard on it, and on my oc. if you asked me again in five years, i’d probably tell you smth different.

and i mean that’s the thing to this question. i’m still super young, and i have so much time to write more and continue to grow as a writer, so to choose smth to be remembered for so young almost seems unfair, tbh

6: How much have you written or worked on your WIP so far today?

LMAO ZIP, ZLICH, ZERO

my amorphous muse has gone dormant. i wouldn’t say fled if only bc i think i’ve unconsciously made it dormant so i can focus on finishing my master’s thesis

like would i love to write??? YES OF COURSE, I WOULD BE DOWN TO WRITE ANYTHING AT THIS POINT

but when i go to write, i find i physically cannot (bc smth psychologically is going on up there; could be stress, could be writer’s block, it’s probably those two and a multitude of other things). bc part of me knows that i can’t involve myself in such a big project (even small one-shots) bc i need to be completely focused on my thesis. the other part of me feels unable to control this ability to start writing. which is the worst part

schrödinger’s amorphous muse: when will my muse return from war? my muse has already returned from war.

woe is me

7: Have you ever based a piece (or a portion of a piece) on a dream?

don’t think i have. my dreams tend to be too weird to base a piece or portion of a piece on. if i was writing a fantasy story, it may fit in better. but currently, i write stuff that is based in more realistic-fiction worlds so

like i have very weird dreams. also many of them are stress dreams related to bathrooms (ugh) and school (ugh x2). as if i want to base smth that brings me joy on smth that stresses me out

8: Do you prefer silence, a little noise (music, ambient noise, fan etc) or a lot of noise when you’re writing?

it really depends on the mood i’m in

sometimes i’ll want to listen to talking, but it has to be smth i’ve watched a million times or don’t care abt at all if i am to concentrate on writing. they could be tv shows or video essays, etc. but that’s mostly if i’m not writing like fun/fictional stuff with plot and storyline, bc the talking then just interrupts my train of thought. unless i’ve seriously watched it so much/couldn’t care less abt what i’ve put on

mostly i’ll listen to music. i don’t have playlists, as much as i wish i did. my music library just isn’t that big. i’m such a picky person when it comes to music. and also i have so many other things i want to do than make playlists honestly. like i’m envious of ppl who make playlists, and i’m not saying that those who do make playlists have nothing else to do like at all. not my intention at all. however, at the same time, making them isn’t one of my top priorities

anyway, depending on my mood i’ll listen to the same song(s) on repeat again while i write. sometimes the song matches the mood of the scene i write, but it doesn’t always have to

sometimes i’ll start a song but get so into the scene that when the song ends, i don’t turn it back on anymore bc i don’t need it. sometimes some scenes require a lot of concentration that i can’t listen to anything. i actually need/prefer silence

i’ll only listen to ambient noise if i’m trying to drown out other noises, and only when i’m writing academic papers lol

9: Do you have any routines before you sit down to write?

nope lol. some scenes i’ll imagine for weeks before sitting down to write them bc thinking abt how the scene will play out helps me fall asleep, but also helps me figure out exactly how the scene will play out so when i do sit down to write, it flows so easily onto the page

unfortunately this doesn’t happen with everything i write--only the big, emotional scenes. and even then, i imagine these scenes as movies scenes, so when i go to write, there’s a lot more detail i have to think abt and add in ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

other than that, i don’t really have any routines i absolutely need to do before i sit down to write...i mean does opening all the folders i need, including the folders on my flashdrive so i can easily save and then transfer the saved document to my flashdrive count?

10: Have you ever participated in NaNoWrimo or a Camp?

i wish! but no. never had the time. like WHY NOVEMBER DO YOU KNOW HOW BUSY STUDENTS GET DURING NOVEMBER THAT’S LIKE THE ABSOLUTE WORST TIME TO HOLD IT FOR WRITERS WHO ARE STUDENTS

and like i get that the whole point of it is to get ppl who say things like “never had the time” to write. but that’s the thing, it’s not like inktober, where it encourages a very armature artist (i.e., me) to draw at least one thing everyday. i already love to write and i already write when i can if i don’t have writer’s block and my amorphous muse wants to cooperate

so when i say “i don’t have time” it’s bc it’s in the middle of the fucking semester and i’m swamped with midterms and papers and my ga-ship which requires me to help everyone else who are also scrambling on midterm papers like jeezums i’m not bitter or anything

i know that camp tho has other sessions that aren’t in novemeber, so we’ll see if i decide to participate in those. i can really only focus on one story at a time, esp if it’s a big story i’m really invested in. so participating while i’m researching and writing fanfic would be difficult for me. also the pressure to do the research i want to do in such a short amt of time would probably not be conducive for me, just personally. esp on top of another story where i’m researching and writing (even if i do put it aside to focus on camp) but since i’ve never participated, i wouldn’t know if any of that is necessarily true

thanks again for tagging me! i’ll tag two ppl i know who are writers lol; and as always with these things, feel free to fill this out or not: @talking0fmichelangel0 @lucifers-favorite-child

if you follow me or we’re mutuals and i have failed to realize you’re a writer, feel free to fill these out but tag me so i can read your answers