#bc I fear what I made
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oc doodles I did while going insane having breakfast w my moms side of the family
#my parents are currently playing teenage dirtbag so that makes me feel a bit better#(that’s why I put it there)#had to recoil some oc lore#bc I fear what I made#British man is still British don’t worry#aaaaaa#yippee#oc doodles#ocs#oc shit#Spotify
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Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest
Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here
Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭
It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony
#the final confrontation was basically his first death again#and YES he Does want the Joker dead#and it would've been really really nice if Batman was the one who did it#but when batman made it clear he wouldn't kill the joker. Jason easily switched to saying “LET me kill the joker” to accommodate#because he Wanted batman to pass his test#he gave a test to dick too. and technically tim but it wasnt the family test it was a different one so it doesnt rly count#AFTER utrh and the reveal and the batarang you can go hog wild about it. i care less about it then#granted i do believe they make jason more scared of the joker after it at some point#i guess because hes a bit too willing to kill the joker and ive heard jason wasnt meant to live after utrh#my watsonian explain for that is he was so fixated on his plan he cpuld override his fear. or maybe the pit. either work#i prefer the fixation bc i dont like the explanation that the pit was the /only/ reason he could get all plan together and done#BUT THATS UNRELATED!!!#dc stop putting the joker in jason stories im begging you please please please. lock him in a vault for the next 20 years or something#it Cpuld be good and i understand. but also. after so long of people that dont know or go for jasons need for family and parents#that love him and he can trust#the joker starts to feel like?? hm. words. a cop out? oh haha its that guy that killed him woagh hes here#i bet you dont even know that jaybin got beat until unconsciousness by an angry mob#while asking batman to save him only for batman to have to walk away#anwya. where was i going with this#i think i got off topic#jason todd#dc comics#batman#ADDED AN EDIT. SORRY. this post has been haunting me it keeps me awake. what if people misunderstand#they cant read my tags where i ramble more depth. thisbis the only option#EDIT EDIT: hiii#removed the sentence abt jason having the joker for several days bc i misremembered some things#go read its-your-mind 's addition instead also#ok no more i wont edit this post anymore i promise
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as fun as it is to talk about the sillay crow family dynamics, i'm soo interested in what this means for the crow familia going forward in a darker lens.
im mostly speaking from the perspective of a rook de riva who romanced lucanis btw <3
illario brought the axe down on his own head after failing to take first talon. he's imprisoned except to play house whenever caterina wants to see him around for family dinners before tensions inevitably shove him back into the cage he's been left to like some house pet lmfao. it's actually kinda fucked up and as a certified sicko i love it. especially considering the casualness in which lucanis describes all of this. crows gotta be a little unhinged<3
But!!! while lucanis was right that illario's reputation is ruined forever as a traitor crow beaten to his knees before every house that doesn't exactly free house dellamorte either. Talon houses will want their pound of flesh of illario for nearly trying to put antiva under venatori control. and yet lucanis refused. house dellamorte showed mercy. they are breaking the rules, making exceptions. this is not how the crows operate and there should--WILL be retaliations for it. illario left this house bleeding in his attempt to claim first talon and their blood is in the water now with house dellamorte having a sole heir who blatantly exposed a weakness and seemingly has no lineage to take after him.
and nevermind that we know murmurs amongst the crows will linger about a first talon being an abomination. i know lucanis kind of handwaves it off as at the coffee date like 'there could be worst first talons' but baby boy, you have avoidance and denial issues this WILL become worse of a problem the longer it goes on. <3
more under the cut bc i didn't realize this was getting so long lol
but in comes fifth talon viago de riva. a bastard to the king of antiva who wants to strengthen the crown. a man who has been ruthlessly exacting and meticulous to get where he is now. and the scariest part is that he has ambition, always has, and knows he has more power than the king himself to make plays if he needs to. this makes for a dangerous (and sexy) combination. in comes his protege rook. casting silly family dynamics aside, viago knows this union between house dellamorte and de riva is extremely beneficial for both houses but also very dangerous. even he knows his ties to teia show a weakness in him that other crows may seek to exploit. and while i do think he may be sincere about wanting rook to find their happiness with lucanis as he has with teia - i truly think he will not shy from showing the importance of a 'political alliance/union' especially with first talon house dellamorte struggling from the blow after all is said and done.
and of course, by extension to de riva, house cantori and the beautiful lovely miss teia, will be extending her support to strengthen their houses but also herself from any opposition. as much as i love that she's kind of the heart that brings this fucked up lil familia together, i know she is just as cunning and clever to recognize what this alliance does for her too.
and caterina.. well, without going into a whole thought piece on her, she has built her (and her grandson's reputation) entirely to instill fear in others, even command enough respect to know she's the one running things while lucanis is just a stand-in as first talon. but what happens when caterina is gone? another dellamorte dead just like all the others. all lucanis has left is himself and his traitor brother. how does he handle illario? how does he fair being a leader to the crows when he didn't want any of this in the first place and no longer has caterina to guide him? how does he wish to pursue carrying the dellamorte legacy (if at all)? does he seek a protege of his own to take on after him? i can't remember who says it (viago or lucanis) but there's a line about how saving thedas will make their houses immortal (hot and very sexy) but also how far can that reputation protect house dellamorte, really?
i don't really have a point to all of this, this is all just stuff im simply chewing on and letting out into the ether because the ripple effect of repercussions with what illario did and what lucanis now has to deal with fascinates me SO MUCH.
#it's all so fucked up (affectionate)#dragon age#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#as much as i know in my heart lucanis deserves to be a malewife i really like to see him in situations i fear 😔 take him away from me#i still stand by what i said about wishing there was an option to kill illario bc i think hardening luca w/ that is also a fun avenue#to explore BUT letting illario live and imprisoned also kind of cooks ngl#(but im still giving the writers shit tho bc we know we couldnt do any substantial exploration of 'this is fucked up. what if we did that--#-- and made them worse' with the companion storylines)#aev plays da4#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#viago de riva#teia cantori#also thank you to my bestie for bouncing back and forth w/ me about this <3#long post
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im so bored so AU lore drop in the middle of the night
I did this in ms paint and yes I was lazy so it looks shitty a bit on purpose
does this mean anything? no. I will continue to draw feral lesbians ripping each other apart because this is just a dumb comfort au
#any questions or anything through my pipebomb mail please#art#fanart#my art#doodles#lore stuff#splatoon#splatoon art#splatoon fanart#splatoon fan art#splatoon au#splatoon fuzzy au#fuzzy au#au lore#splatoon marina#splatoon pearl#splatoon acht#splatoon mr grizz#splatoon callie#splatoon marie#splatoon shiver#splatoon frye#splatoon 3#splat 3#octolings#inklings#yknow this is a bit cringe to me for some reason. idk I feel like a child with their crazy nonsensical stories#I was one of those when I was younger. Always made creatures and even entire worlds#With their lore and their abilities and their stories n shit. I miss being that kid and not fearing anyone saying my story is shit#i kinda don't want to post this bc it's so lazy and there's info missing but oh well what could possibly go wrong lol
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HONDA x MARC: you don't have to go home. there's a long way to go.
#marc marquez#motogp#motogpedit#bynadya#n.mov#made it ages ago and re-edited it while waiting for the arsenal game to start lol...... also to distract myself from daniils result :((#i fear i could never love a rider the way i loved hondamarc..... not even post 2023 marc himself......#but yeah.... what was the saying again? dont cry bc it's over smile bc it happened etc etc??#anyway honda marc :) thank u for some of the fun and best decade of my life :) so glad to witness it and experience it <3
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daniel molloy, my new bestie
#Interview with the Vampire#IWTV spoilers#loustat#so much making me insane here#I figured armand had to be more than a spectator but I didn't expect him to be the director. his panic upon realizing what daniel is holdin#'YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF CLAUDIA'S STRENGTH' I WON'T SURVIVE CLAUDIA FROM LESTAT'S PERSPECTIVE I FEAR#last week I literally paused the ep when the audience said banishment to OUT LOUD ask 'was that lestat or armand?'#and bc armand claimed he did it and that's what the show told us I believed it. THE SCREAM I MADE AT THE REVEAL IT WAS LESTAT#(and jacob saying in the insider that lestat would have saved claudia if he had the strength. IM SICK)#'you were supposed to die with claudia! [armand] didn't save you. lestat did!' DANIEL'S BECOME A LESTAT STAN#armand's nervous laugh at all this being exposed lol#(also apologies for the mssg notification in the middle of the scene LOLLLLLLLLLLL. forgot to mute tumblr while I was screenrecording)
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rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening
#let’s talk about sayaka miki for a second#genuinely the fact that her whole character is centered around tragedy almost to a shakespearean extent#she’s selfless and brave and values her justice and righteousness above all. calls herself an ally of justice#in fact i think it’s rather intriguing how her whole character is centered around “justice”#her story being a more twisted retelling of the original little mermaid#how she is initially portrayed as a very heroic and confident character even before becoming a magical girl. always shielding madoka#selling her soul to heal the boy she loved out of a selfless desire to see him well again#her being absolutely distraught abt being robbed of her humanity and betrayed by kyubey#she combats this harrowing realization by immersing herself in her duties not caring that she is slowly deteriorating in the process#becoming numb with pain and fighting recklessly and psychotically trying to drown out the pain#finally coming to the sickening conclusion that humanity doesn’t deserve her saving and she succumbs to a fate of her making#last words being “i was so stupid” which trumps her previous statement of “there’s no way i’d regret this”#ALSO? the fact that her costume and weapon are symbolic of a knight. she rly portrays this hero of justice who will protect and defend ☹️#i think abt the fact that homura said that sayaka’s wish was so selfless it was only a matter of time before she died#sayaka being the example of what happens to magical girls who go through the entire cycle and eventually become witches is so sad to me#genuinely just like. sick and twisted#very very fucked up.#characters who have their own misconstrued interpretation of “justice” or who are centered around justice in general.#you will always be dear to me.#sayaka reminds me a lot of akechi in some ways ngl#harboring an almost idealized vision of justice but it slowly rots and festers and corrupts their hearts the more immersed w it they become#actually losing their sanity when they fight bc of how much pain they’re in but refuse to acknowledge it until they break#refusing any help and wallowing in misery despite having ppl who love them and want to save them#last words are those expressing regret for being such a fool. for being ignoring#being used by yhe main villain as a stepping stone towards their true goal. they were merely a pawn#also doomed in every version of their reality. always doomed by the narrative no matter what choices they make#i have a type i fear#HAHAHAH ALSO the fact that they’re both dressed so regally compared to everyone else in their respective series#meant to portray them in a virtuous and princely light. only made more apparent by the sword being their weapon of choice#i’m gonna shut up now but they’re soo eerily similar its unnerving tbh 💀
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Vr46 academy keychains
Set of five charms that all match in different ways
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚
Open for detailed pictures of each one
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
˖⁺‧₊˚⭒✮⭒˚₊‧⁺˖
. ݁₊ ✶. ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗
I ran out of tags so I'll say it here but i would greatly appreciate a reblog, especially if you share your thoughts on these pieces in tags (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
(Also i forgot that bez have matching part with luca so I didn’t add that to tags sorry
#motogp#marco bezzecchi#pecco bagnaia#valentino rossi#celestino vietti#luca marini#mb72#fb63#vr46#cv13#lm10#vr46 academy#okay so i fear tags won't be enough for me this time but I'll try tell everything anyway#firstly i used nicknames (should have used maro but didn't think at the time) for everyone because it brings more of a family feeling than#when i do initials and that's exactly what i wanted with them. on the same note the wolves#the wolves were tge first thing that started this idea because i wanted to make bez charm and picked one up and then it expanded very fast#because let's all face it - they are basically a wolf pack and it's extremely fitting. also after taking these pictures i found mettalic on#for cele. and it's a huge slay because i really don't like mismatching colours of metal#probably the only one that i did mismatch is vale but amazingly it looks pretty neat. i also put as many turtles as i physically could#also except for wolves he also has matching beads with cele and luca if you can spot them#while cele matches luca and bez#bez matches cele and pecco while pecco matches only bez. it was quite a challenge to find beads that would suit their different#colour schemes while looking organic in keychains#also for bez i used a wrench bc of his family and i think that's pretty neat detail#it was absolute mindfuck to find beads for five different keychains at the same time because of how different they all are but i tried#also put a lot of effort into not repeating myself as much as j could in structures so they all have their own personalities outside of set#also i love that “bez” part looks like fangs icl#if you see bead that stands out by colour from all others in keychain it's probably for their eye colour because i love to add that too#also used old bez livery because what we had this year was horrible#actually i made it some time ago just never had time to post
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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Reading an article on how no one truly knows how to read a book front to back anymore is making me so terrified I literally don’t gaf if I’m a biochem major it’s looking more and more every day like I’m going for that literature master’s degree for no reason other than to feel something
#No I’m not kidding like HUH!!!!!#Chemistry always made the most sense but fuck that a lit masters is what I need#Like I can get chem pubs still who cares#I can take a lit class then detour to my organic chem lab I can make it work I was built for that kind of dichotomy#I will NOT allow my reading skills to atrophy just bc I’m in a science field#NO!!!!!#No omg#I have a BOOKCASE#I’m literally scared#I literally need a lit professor to yell at me#Or I need to unironically download pdfs of rhetorical analysis and go to town but I’m actually scared#Like my biggest fear is being one of those ppl who read tons of books but absorb nothing#I think the one thing I refuse to have ruined for me is actually engaging and connecting w books#I’m being serious .#Clutching the kitchen sink trying to talk myself out of spending thousands on a lit masters degree#(It wouldn’t be a waste it would be so cathartic)#I’m speaking from a place of deep fear rn but it’s also absolutely a possibility
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Y’all ever write fanfic so hard that you end up accidentally finding your passion in computer science at the age of 25 and then randomly apply for college and get in and then end up really enjoying programming and network security more than literally anything you’ve ever studied in your life and you can’t fucking articulate why in god’s name you ended up getting into IT because if you said you ended up getting into IT due to writing a Stargate fan fiction the length of the Book Of Mormon where two IT Rats start an economy based around selling pirated media in another galaxy people would literally think you’re insane? or is that just me?
#stargate fan fiction made me get into computer science 😭😭😭#bro this CANNOT be real#I literally haven’t written the fanfic in ages bc I’ve been so pumped for college#and then now I’m in college and I’m VP communications and I understand what’s going on more than like 90% of my class#because I researched so much for my stupid fucking fan fiction#I swear to god stargate CANNOT keep having this much of an impact on my fucking life#not a bad imagine#personal post lmfao#a unique and experience I fear
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might be worth noting that tubbo got lore today because he made it canon he warped back from the boat.
i think this was confusing bc he wasn't sure initially how to play it (he is not a lore guy by trade we all know this), and waffled back and forth with it (with fun bits like "it's tuesday" or "it's a time rift"), but he definitely did make it canon.
he has the story: the boat didn't leave, he had his warpstone. he knew they would just steal him back, like they did the first time.
he has the reason: he desperately needed to see sunny before he left; couldn't sit idly by
and he made it clear that's what he wants to have happened. he told his chat to stop "-rp point"-ing him about it multiple times bc he's trying to make it canon (and told fit the same when he came back post-ghost bit).
he also asked sunny's admin whether she wanted their interactions to be filler or canon and she chose canon
plus he had a canon interaction with forever explaining it and asking him to watch over his daughter
and he and sunny built things and interacted with each other based specifically off the info he was kidnapped, that he will have to go, and that they both knew it was coming
so while you may have to ignore or recontextualize some of the goofier interactions when he initially came back (phil/etoiles/fit stuff esp), tubbo did come back, the code attack did happen, it's already been fit into the lore, and i don't doubt sunny is going to tell fit about it this week!!
#qsmp#qsmp tubbo#i think he is largely laying low out of fear of being taken back early also bc sunny doesn't want him far from home#uhh restless djing while she sleeps aside#it's obviously a little awkward but i think it's easy enough to imagine why pac (guy who responds so well to being kidnapped historically)#might be too stuck in his own head to even think of leaving the boat#etoiles i can speak to less but like a lot of things have to be explained away#bc it's a minecraft server and people aren't always on tubbo is one of the only people who'd even be on today usually anyway#but regardless tubbo made it clear what he wants his canon to be and the admins followed suit#i for one am excited for fit resistance lore with the codes acting up and not code-tamer etoiles to help#also what will he do with sunny he can't just leave her to do his tasks#and she typically stays on way longer than ramon usually does esp since he came bacl#but this is another post entirely i just want to see the man of secrets be kindergarten cop'd#that and vibrating about purg 2
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its an episode about the many ways morty fears rick.
its about being afraid of rick and being afraid of his sadness and his callousness and his power. its about morty knowing the power rick has over him and being afraid of that. and knowing that ricks decisions are fickle and often Bad and that morty is going to be beholden to them. when rick jumps morty is forced to follow after and pay the same price for no crime. and the fear that for his loyalty and obedience there is no reward . Morty Is Afraid Of Being A Dog.
if rick is in a simulation where hes given everything he wants and hes too selfish and cowardly to leave when it threatens his life, morty will have to die with him.
if rick is in a simulation where he has the option of pretending nothing is wrong and everything is fine and hes too selfish and cowardly to admit its a lie even when it threatens his life, morty will have to die with him.
if rick is forced to admit he cares for morty or die he would die before saying it. and morty knows it. and Im Going Crazy
#myposts#liberated from dms bc im going crazyyyy bitch!!!! what!!!!!!!#i had to stop wathcing rick and morty bc the abuse narrative made me too insane#they were like freaky music playing over rick explictly saying he cares about morty and i was like screams#sorry theres somethijg so fuckingh. So. about morty fearing that rick wouldnt jump in the hole with him#and rick in fact not jumping into the hole with him.#like the whole. episode hinges on morty feeling thats hes actually beholden to RICKS fears and ricks decisions and ricks power over him#such that the reveal that its all been his own fears--OF RICK--is. ooooooughghgh its amazing#genuinely. i think one of the best episodes of the whole show#something so. ominous. about rick at the end mimicking morty from the beginning#like hes about to go on his own--as we watched morty play out the fear he would be too weak to leave--#only to show this proof he cares deeply for morty. only to realize that is in fact just as scary.#like double subversion--hes not doing the obvious scary thing but the thing he does instead is just. scary in a different way#rick and morty#fear no mort
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i cant get over the whole time in the real world rick just sat there watching over morty and when he woke up finally rick sounded SO happy the way he just yelled his name excitedly the second he woke up,,,
#i miss them already….#AND ALSO AT THE END. MORTY WAS KIND OF IN A WAY WHAT STOPPED RICK FROM JUMPING INTO THE HOLE TO SEE DIANE.#you saw him like look sad for a second that he wouldn’t get to see her but then his expression changed to a firm one when he decided he was#-going to put mortys picture on the wall and then his little smile after he did… morty isn’t dianes replacement hes even better than that#THATS HOW I SEE IT THOUGH. one of the biggest appeals of r&m to me is just how they are eachothers absolute favourite and they outweigh-#-everything the others ever known. i think this episode really showed that alot.#despite everything he’s seen and experienced mortys biggest fear is rick not caring about him#and like. that’s funny bc that’s a thing where everybody knows for a fact that’s literally impossible#the biggest contributor for why SO many things in the show have happened is rick loves morty more than anything#also that one part in the whole sequence with them growing up where it showed r&m drinking togehter that made me so happy bc like#it was one of those moments where i was like. Oh yeah duhdoy i almost forgot they’re going to be best friends for ever and ever#hhhgg. so many good things so much so much. also im probably not going to touch this episode for a week lol#i Need time ok.#rick and morty#rick and morty spoilers#odiespeak
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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#an artist i made fanart for blocked me at some point in the past year or maybe even before and i Just noticed it now LOL#that... feels a bit rude but to each their own i guess?#considering deleting said fanart now that i know this#bummer#:(#this is usually why i try not to draw fanart bc i fear the author will eventually dislike me#for whatever fandom reason?#and its like man all this effort for what#i meant a writer at the beginning but eh theyre artists as well u get it
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