#bc 'she's a war criminal'

[knockknockitsnickels]

I love posts about "overhated female cartoon characters" bc inevitably my girls PB, Rose Quartz, & Mabel will be there so you've got 2 pink-haired quasi-immortal war-crime-committing morally-grey queens and a 12 year old who likes boy bands and knitting sweaters.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

fans: omg our innocent little meow meow! she's such a baby 🥺🥺 poor traumatized kitten protect her at all costs!! 😭😭

the character in question:

[hauntingblue]

Genuinely, what the hell is this

[snipsnipsnippy]

Alright I’ve been pushed. Now I’m in a Satine Kryze mood. And BOY do I wanna have a chat some of y’all are not ready for.

Satine and the New Mandalorians are the true Mandalorians. Or at least, they were the popular representation of Mandalorians. First things first, I want to remind everyone that the Mandalorian history we have post Clone Wars-era is entirely told by the surviving Mandalorians, who are.. a fringe cult and a terrorist group (ie The Children of the Watch and Death Watch) and any other surviving exiles or enemies (eg Boba and you know, the Jedi). None of these people lived in mainstream Mandalorian society so how are we to believe them on what “true” mandalorian culture is when their beliefs or actions were deemed so radical they were exiled (or in the case of COTW, left on their own accord).

Now, yes, Satine’s position of pacifism is very extreme. No fighting at all ever is a pretty questionable long term survival strategy and an incredibly divisive one, but it’s literally one the mandalorian people defended and accepted and even tried to bring to the Republic. Because considering the historical and political position Mandalore has been in, it was only this extreme strategy that could save it. It literally ended generations of civil wars. It united the remaining mandalorians and built survivable, architecture for the barren world (which probably saved the planet, but that’s a different theory). But Death Watch, you know the party that meant to overthrow and kill her, will tell you that this was an erasure of mandalorian culture and ignorance of their warrior history, but that’s not the kind of warrior we ever see outside of Death Watch.

Everything in mandalorian culture points us to this much more protective survivor, rather than this vindictive sort of conqueror. Foundling culture in the Mandalorians is so profound because it’s something that is so unique to them. Other cultures do adopt nonfamilial members, yes, but Mandalorians do it so wholeheartedly and without question. There’s a baby alone in the woods? I don’t care if it’s 4,000 years old or its a race that hasn’t been discovered yet, that’s your child now. The way mandalorian clans are structured such that a foundling is immediately no different than a blood relative, whether they come from the same species or star system. Nephews or daughters or neighbors are all the same to a mandalorian (and a hot mention to mando’a for throwing out gender biases too). They are fiercely protected and fiercely loved too. Every excess that exists in mandalorian society goes to their children. To their education, their protection, the survival of the next generation was most important to a mandalorian society.

Even something like beskar, their very armor, was prized for protection, not for offensives. There’s a whole lecture on how beskar came to be metal of choice, but it boils down to being, guess what?, the best defense against lightsabers. And we see Mandalorians come out with the best armor design in like literally all of Star Wars armors ever. I’m not joking. It’s made for visibility, for protection, for comfort, and for not dying. Their identity is their armor. Its value and its design is sacred to each clan because it is forged from their history and painted with its battles.

So working back to Satine, who was raised learning all of this history, learning the ways of her warrior people and seeing the culture stray from what was once a people built for surviving and then watching it kill them, watching it tear apart her family and her home, and for a year, it even tore her away from her identity. She stands up to this massive swath of the deadliest fuckers in the galaxy, and she says “no.” She doesn’t raise a sword. She doesn’t point a blaster. She knows how. She was the fucking mandalorian princess. Clan Kryze was deeply respected. Her father died a hero to these people, and for her to stand up without using force or weapons takes a shit load of courage and some uniquely mandalorian stupidity. All to save their future, their culture, and their children. She said “kill me if you wish but spare the kids” and at the time, she can’t be any more than 20 because timelines are rough. She’s probably still just an orphaned teenager herself. This is the wake up call that broke the Mandalorian Civil Wars.

This is the Most Mandalorian stunt a mandalorian has ever mandalorian-ed since Tarre Vizsla himself told off the fucking Jedi.

She’s the savior of her culture, and Death Watch burned it all down because they wanted to kill, not protect. Satine was more a mandalorian than most of the Mandalorians we see. More mandalorian than her sister will ever be, and Bo won’t even speak her name.

[prettyprincessmorgan]

totally real words (probably drunk) arthur has uttered to a poor unsuspecting gang member (most likely sean, javier or john) !!!!!

[rage-against-the-dying-of-light]

this is fucking funny enough that I'm reblogging it here too

[euthymiya]

I change my vision depending on the selfship tbh

[hood-ex]

Bruce to Selina: MY PARENTS WERE RICH!!

Jason to Selina like 10 min later: Bruce really rattled you back there, didn't he?

Lmfaooo this is so unserious.

[morrigan-sims]

the whole "family"

I made Rook's mom in the sims because I was bored and wanted to see what she'd look like. Gorgeous, as it turns out!! Which isn't surprising given her son is the most beautiful man of all time. Rook doesn't even know her name or anything about her, and has never met her, since she handed him off to Alistair at the first chance she got. Rook has no interest in meeting her because of that, plus the fact that in his mind, all birth/legal family is awful and fucked. As far as he's concerned, he doesn't have a mother.

[dragonsongmakhali]

Wednesday morning valposting hours

[aroacettorney]

au where bretus kindom took marias selmore as hostage to blackmail casey and have her track down heathcliff van bretus for them

[razzle-zazzle]

what's your raised by serpentine au about again?

Okay okay so. First off if you go through the tag for this AU some of the older posts are no longer super accurate because I changed things around since then (Cole is no longer the only human still alive in the tomb when Pythor breaks the seal is one of the biggest). And also I think there's a lot of stuff I came up with and then just. Never talked about. So this ask is incredibly serendipitous LMAO

Anyway. In RBS, the first major change is a timeline one—the Serpentine War that saw the Serpentine sealed into tombs occurred about 250 years pre-canon, not 40. This is mostly because it makes the whole "they've been gone so long that most people think the Serpentine are a myth" thing that was going on in Rise of the Snakes still a thing, and also because... why not? Wu and Garmadon would have still been around to commit war crimes, and it's not like there aren't ways for Chen to live to be nearly 300 years old.

The next major change is a bit more based in canon; remember how, in the flashbacks to the war in Tournament of Elements, when Garmadon was describing how Chen managed to turn members of the elemental alliance against the others, the one shown attacking the alliance was a Master of Earth? I do. I constantly think about that fact, if I'm being honest. Though, of course, the timeline being what it is, in RBS that Earth Master isn't Lily's father but rather a great great grandfather. Regardless, they turned against the alliance thanks to Chen's manipulations, so when the war ended and it was decided that sealing the Serpentine into sunless tombs against their will and regardless of whether they were soldier or civilian was a good idea (it was not), that Earth Master and a whole bunch of other humans were sealed into the Constrictai Tomb. So there's been a whole community of humans and Constrictai in there for two and a half centuries, with the Master of Earth among them the entire time.

You can probably guess where I'm going with this. But yeah, Lily, Lou, and Skalidor were in a sort of polycule (it was more qp on Skal's end but like. you get it). So when Lou and Lily both die via cave-in and sickness respectively, Cole ends up largely in Skalidor's care. Hence the title of the whole AU :]

tl;dr past master of earth was sealed into the constrictai's tomb and so cole never saw the sky until pythor rolled up to crack that tomb open

[dreamlandcreations]

Ahhh listen! An idea just hit me and I gotta share! Modern!Royal! Shadow & Bone AU!

Reader is a princess and she dated Aleksander on the downlow... but while also royalty, he had a bad rep. So her parents demanded she breaks it off and marries a respectable royal...

And of course at the wedding, Aleksander makes a scene and speaks up - all their reputations be damned.

ohhhhhhhhhh, that sounds very shadowhunter-esque to me, I can even hear the ruelle song 🫠 🤯

...

orrrrrrr princess diaries vibes?

[cosmicmakos]

imagine you and your f/o having silly nicknames for one another

[alyimoss]

i should start making utmv content again but like specifically my own utmv content. you guys would like my au muffet

[lovinggreeniehours]

evil gf that is totally not dead ilu