#bath was such a mixed bag for me
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Independent Visit Reviews 2 - The Royal Crescent in Bath
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While we did go here as part of the walking tour of Bath, a group of us ventured there quite a while earlier, and then went back yet again. It was one of my favorite parts of Bath. Our first day in Bath wasn’t that fun for me. I found the city obnoxiously crowded, suffocating, dirty, and overwhelming, especially after the Baths themselves with so many people packed into them. I hated the city within hours of being in it. Then a group of us went here the next morning, and it was… great. 
I, for the first time in Bath, felt at peace, felt secure, felt something other than an everpresent annoyance. Now, there were some things I liked in Bath proper, the chocolate shop with sandwich cookies was amazing, and the Topping & Co. Bookstore was a wonderful place to chill at. But the Royal Crescent felt clean, it felt open, it felt right to me. It was a place of solace in an otherwise tumultuous city. It was shady, cool, and quiet.
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heartowan · 2 months ago
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You didn't really check the time, but it must've been past midnight when you entered Jason's place for the first time this week, quietly closing the door behind you and tossing your keys back into your bag, which you placed on the hanger by the entrance.
Your steps were lazy and spaced out as you walked around the apartment, looking for him in the dark ─ turning the lights on would be too much of a splurge, so you simply settled for an almost blind search.
Approaching the bathroom, you heard the faint sound of water splashing, the noise recognizable as you'd heard that a thousand times, almost in the same situation.
"You always choose such ungodly hours for bathing." You said, walking into the small room in silent steps.
Jason was laying peacefully in the bathtub, his head resting against the wall beside him as he had his eyes closed, probably enjoying the comfort of the scented candles lit around the tub. You could smell the vanilla from the wax mixed with the scent of the peach bathbomb you gave him some time ago.
"I think this is the best hour for it." He murmured, not bothering to raise his voice. You liked seeing him relaxed like that.
You sat down at the edge of the tub, taking in his soft appearance. He looked very peaceful, his eyes shut and face relaxed. It was one of the few times you'd seen him with his jaw unclenched.
As you sat, his head immediately leaned closer to your thigh, resting against it like a pillow. Your heart warmed at the sight and at the feeling.
You two had just started dating. Things were still so new to both of you, but they were going well. You liked each other, more than either of you cared to admit, still too scared to pour your hearts out. But moments like these proved that the feeling was deeper than you thought.
Running a gentle hand through his damp hair, you let out a short sigh. "You look so peaceful." you murmured quietly, your voice caressing his ears.
"I am." he replied, leaning into your touch. "Even more now."
You smiled at that. He liked to say sweet things when you least expected him to. Jason wasn't one for sweet talk, but he made an effort for you. To see that pretty smile on your lips, to make you feel loved, to make you feel his love.
"How did tonight go?" You murmured quietly, your fingers still caressing his scalp, almost making him purr like a cat. He loved head scratches.
"Mhm..." he hummed, deciding if he should sugarcoat it or tell you the truth. He chose the truth. "It was... awkward. Like, very, but it wasn't the worst night ever. I'm still getting used to these things."
"You're still getting used to galas?" You smiled, your tone incredulous. "I thought you went to these things all the time."
"I did a few times when I was younger." He said. "But it's harder to adapt now. I mean, inside. Outside, I think I look... not that out of place, but inside, it's messy." He explained to you, his fingers coming up to gently caress your side, making your shirt wet. But neither of you cared.
"I get it." You nodded, offering him a more understanding smile now. "I'm sure you did well, though. You always do."
"Maybe... maybe go with me next time." He murmured almost sheepishly, his eyes opening for the first time. They drank you, your appearance, your messy hair, your sparkly eyes, your pretty, pretty nose. Every part of your face, your clothes, your arms, everything. "I think you'd fit in."
"Me?" you mumbled, your voice cracking a bit, making you wince. Suddenly, you felt a little shy from his gaze and from his proposal. The thought of him wanting you of all people to be his plus one at those fancy events made you feel some kind of warm anxiety, close to a good, excited feeling. "I don't think I would, honestly."
"I can already see it... a beautiful outfit on you, your hair pretty and styled, silver jewelry, the most glorious shoes..." he mumbled. He sounded almost like he was daydreaming. "And, of course, your stunning self to go with all of it."
You laughed at that, a genuine laugh, one of those he seemed to pull out of you anytime he did or said something remotely funny. You were down bad for that man. Shaking your head, you gave his shoulder a gentle pat.
"That sounds like an alternative reality." You said.
"I disagree." he said, looking over at you again. "In fact... wait a minute, I'll get all of that arranged right now for next month."
You stared at him in confusion, your eyebrows knitting together as he started getting up from the tube, and then your eyes widened.
"Jason-"
He got out of the bathtub, water splashing all over the edges and dripping down to the floor, as well as on you, your shirt and pants getting even damper.
You laughed again at his desperation, and at the fact that he didn't even bother to cover himself with a towel. He walked out of the bathroom in his full naked glory, droplets of water sliding down his chest as he padded over to the room, mumbling something about having to get on the phone right now.
You couldn't have chosen better.
a.n: i feel like this is so stupid... also, i didn't proof read, I'm sorry!
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theprongspotter · 6 months ago
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Cope - Jegulus - @stag-microfic - Day 2 - 402 words
“Again? I swear we do this every single night,” Regulus says, quirking a brow and an amused smile tugs at his lips.
“Yeah, but I like hearing your voice.”
They’re right outside of James’ house, sprawled out on damp grass, but it doesn’t seem to bother them.
Regulus rolls his eyes, but points at a constellation near the tree line. “That’s Ursa Major, the Great Bear. You know that, I hope, considering the amount of times I’ve told you that. Besides, it’s rather easy to see.”
"Of course.” James nods.
His finger moves to point at a different cluster of stars. “That’s Virgo. If you look at the brightest star there, you can see Spica. That’s one point of the triangle.”
“The triangle?” James asks.
Regulus rolls his eyes. “Yes, James, the triangle. We’ve only been over this a dozen times.”
He points at another constellation. “Then that’s Boötes, and the brightest star there is Arcturus.”
“Your middle name,” James says.
Regulus cracks a smile. “Yes, my middle name. It’s also the second point of the triangle.”
James smiles and takes Regulus’ hand in his, moving it until it points at a really familiar constellation. His favorite, actually. “Leo. There’s you. You’re the heart of the lion.” You’re my heart. “You complete the triangle asterism.” You complete me.
“So you do pay attention.” Regulus grins.
They let their arms fall to rest on their stomachs as they look at each other, lying side by side on the cool grass. The moonlight bathes the clearing in a soft, silvery glow, making Regulus appear almost ethereal. His dark hair contrasts sharply with his pale skin, which seems to shimmer under the lunar light, giving him an otherworldly radiance. His eyes, usually so intense, are softened by the moon’s gentle touch.
James, with his tousled hair and tired expression, looks rugged yet vulnerable in the dim light. The moon casts shadows across his face, highlighting his eye bags.
“You know, you really need to find a new way to cope,” Regulus says after a while, his voice gentle but firm.
James frowns, his brows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Regulus gazes at him with a mix of sorrow and affection. “James, I died three years ago.”
And just like that, the space beside him becomes empty.
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callsigns-haze · 6 months ago
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Lean off
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This can be read before or after Lean on, or alone! It could perfectly serve as a one-shot!
Pairing: Tyler Owens x Reader
Summary: Tyler returns to visit YN and their son, Noah, after a year. Upon arriving at YN's small apartment, Tyler immediately senses tension between them. YN is cold and distant, and Tyler soon discovers the reason—she had seen him on a recent livestream, where he had flirted with his crew member, Kate, and kissed her forehead. Although Tyler insists that it was harmless, YN's hurt is evident, as it reminds her of all the times he put his storm-chasing career above their family.
Warnings: Emotional Tension, Strong Language, Alcohol Use, Sexual Content, Family Conflict, Mature Themes.
Word count: 5,162
Tyler carefully turned the key in the lock, pushing the front door open as quietly as he could. It was well past midnight, and the house was bathed in darkness, save for the dim light spilling from the kitchen. He let out a weary sigh as he slipped off his shoes, the exhaustion of the long day of chasing tornadoes weighing heavily on him. He knew he was late—much later than he’d promised—but he hoped YN was still awake, maybe reading in bed or waiting for him with a flicker of anger, but nothing that couldn’t be smoothed over with an apology and a kiss.
As he moved further into the house, Tyler paused. There was a noise coming from the kitchen, a low rustling and the sound of something heavy being set down. Frowning, he quietly placed his bag on the floor and walked towards the kitchen, his heart sinking with each step. He reached the doorway and hesitated, something in the pit of his stomach warning him that this wasn’t just a late-night snack or YN waiting up for him.
Taking a deep breath, Tyler reached out and flicked the light switch, the kitchen flooding with brightness. His heart stopped at the sight that greeted him.
YN was standing by the counter, her face set in a mixture of anger and sadness. Around her were several open suitcases, partially packed with clothes, toiletries, and other belongings. Her hands were busy stuffing a few more items into a duffel bag, her movements sharp and determined.
“YN?” Tyler’s voice was tentative, almost pleading. “What… what’s going on? Where’s Noah?”
YN didn’t look up right away, her shoulders stiffening at the sound of his voice. “My brother took Noah to his place,” she finally said, her tone cold and distant. “I’m leaving, Tyler.”
The words hit him like a punch to the gut, leaving him momentarily breathless. “Leaving? What do you mean you’re leaving? It’s the middle of the night.”
“I don’t care what time it is,” YN snapped, her voice rising with anger. “I’m done, Tyler. I’m done waiting up for you, wondering if you’ll come home in one piece or if you’ll even bother coming home at all!”
Tyler shook his head, trying to make sense of what was happening. “YN, please… Let’s talk about this. I know I’m late, but it was a bad chase—”
“It’s always a bad chase!” YN shouted, cutting him off. “Every single time! You’re always late, always chasing after another storm, always putting that damn job before us! I’m tired, Tyler. I’m tired of being second to your obsession!”
Tyler’s own anger started to flare up, mixing with the guilt and fear churning in his gut. “You knew what you were getting into when we got together. This is what I do, YN. This is who I am!”
“But it’s not who I want to be anymore!” YN retorted, her voice breaking with emotion. “I used to love chasing with you, I did. But then we had Noah, and everything changed. I needed you to change with me, but you didn’t. You’re still out there, risking your life, and for what? A thrill? A rush? It’s not worth it, Tyler!”
“I do it for us!” Tyler argued, his voice loud and desperate. “I do it to provide for our family, to make sure Noah has everything he needs!”
“Don’t you dare make this about us!” YN’s eyes blazed with fury as she rounded on him, her hands clenched into fists. “You do it because you can’t let go! You’re addicted to the danger, to the chase, and you won’t admit it! You’ve put that before us time and time again, and I’m done! I’m not waiting around for you to come home in a body bag!”
The tension in the room was palpable, the air thick with unspoken words and years of built-up resentment. Tyler took a step closer, his voice softening. “YN, please… I love you. I love Noah. We can figure this out. Don’t go.”
But YN shook her head, tears now streaming down her cheeks. “It’s too late, Tyler. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve already lost you to those storms, and I’m not losing myself in the process.”
With that, she turned back to her packing, her movements hurried and desperate, as if she couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
Tyler stood frozen for a moment, his mind racing. He felt like he was losing everything, and he didn’t know how to stop it. Desperation clawed at him as he reached out, grabbing her arm to stop her. “Don’t leave, YN. Please.”
But YN wrenched her arm away, her eyes filled with anger and pain. “Let go of me, Tyler,” she hissed, her voice shaking. “I’m done begging you to be here. I’m done.”
In her fury, she picked up the first thing she could find—a shoe—and hurled it at him. Tyler barely had time to react, ducking as it sailed past his head and hit the wall with a dull thud.
“YN, stop!” he pleaded, but she wasn’t listening. Her hands went to her finger, yanking off her wedding rings. With a choked sob, she threw them at him, the metal bands clattering to the floor at his feet.
Tyler stared down at the rings, his heart shattering at the sight. “YN…” he whispered, his voice filled with pain. “Please don’t do this.”
But YN was already turning away, her resolve firm as she zipped up the duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder. “I’m leaving, Tyler. And this time, I’m not coming back.”
With that, she walked out of the kitchen, her footsteps echoing in the silent house. Tyler didn’t follow, too stunned to move, his heart breaking as he listened to the sound of the front door closing behind her.
He was left standing there, alone in the too-bright kitchen, staring down at the rings on the floor. The reality of what had just happened crashed over him like a wave, and he sank to his knees, the weight of his mistakes finally too much to bear.
----
One Year Later
Tyler stood outside the small apartment building, his hand hovering over the door for a moment before he finally knocked. It had been a year since YN had left him, a year filled with regrets and missed opportunities. The weight of his mistakes felt heavier than ever as he stood on the doorstep, trying to muster the courage to face the woman he had let down.
The door creaked open, and there she was—YN, her expression guarded and eyes tired. She looked at him with a mixture of surprise and wariness, a wall of coldness immediately going up between them. She didn’t look like the woman he used to know, not entirely. There was a hardness to her that hadn’t been there before, something born out of a year of managing on her own.
“Tyler,” she said flatly, not bothering to hide her displeasure. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see Noah,” Tyler replied, trying to keep his voice steady. “I’ve missed him. I’ve missed you both.”
YN’s eyes flickered with something—maybe anger, maybe pain—but it quickly disappeared behind a mask of indifference. “He’s napping,” she said curtly, stepping aside to let him in. “You can wait inside if you want.”
Tyler walked into the small apartment, his eyes taking in the cramped space. The living room was tiny, cluttered with toys and toddler essentials, the furniture worn and mismatched. The kitchen was barely more than a corner with a small table and a few chairs, and the single bedroom door was slightly ajar, revealing a glimpse of Noah’s crib.
He felt a pang of guilt as he realized just how much YN had sacrificed, how different this was from the life they had once planned together. The apartment was clean, but it was clear that money was tight and that YN was managing everything on her own.
“This place is… small,” Tyler said quietly, more to himself than to her.
“It’s all we need,” YN snapped, her tone icy. “I’m not living in some big house, Tyler. We’re fine here. We don’t need anything from you.”
The coldness in her voice cut through him like a knife. He had expected her to be angry, but this… this was something else. She wasn’t just angry—she was done with him. Tyler could see it in the way she held herself, in the way she avoided looking at him directly.
“YN, I know I messed up,” he began, trying to find the right words. “I know I haven’t been around, but I want to change that. I want to be here for Noah, to help out.”
YN crossed her arms over her chest, her gaze hard. “We’ve been fine without you, Tyler. I don’t need your help, and Noah doesn’t need a father who shows up when it’s convenient for him.”
Her words stung, and Tyler felt his defences rising. “That’s not fair, YN. I’m trying to make things right. I’m here now.”
“Too little, too late,” she shot back. “You weren’t here when it mattered, Tyler. You weren’t here when I needed you the most, and now you want to waltz back into our lives like nothing happened? It doesn’t work that way.”
Tyler swallowed hard, the guilt weighing heavy on him. “I know I screwed up, and I’m not asking for everything to be okay overnight. I just want a chance to be a father to Noah.”
At that moment, a small cry came from the bedroom, and YN turned away from him without another word. She walked down the short hallway and returned a moment later, holding a sleepy, tousled-haired Noah in her arms. The toddler blinked at Tyler with wide, curious eyes, still half-asleep but recognizing his father.
“Daddy?” Noah mumbled, reaching out a small hand towards him.
Tyler’s heart ached as he reached out to take Noah, holding him close. “Hey, buddy,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the boy’s forehead. “I’ve missed you.”
YN watched them with a stony expression, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “You’ve got a few minutes before I put him back down for his nap,” she said coldly. “Make the most of it.”
Tyler nodded, feeling the weight of her words. He sat down on the worn couch, bouncing Noah on his knee and listening to the boy’s sleepy babble. But all the while, he could feel YN’s eyes on him, the distance between them a tangible thing that no amount of time with Noah could bridge.
When Noah started to get drowsy again, YN walked over and took him from Tyler’s arms, cradling the boy close to her chest. “I’ll put him down now,” she said, her tone making it clear that Tyler’s time was up.
“YN, wait,” Tyler said, standing up. “I want to be here for you both. I want to help.”
YN paused in the doorway, not turning around to face him. “We don’t need you, Tyler,” she said quietly, the finality in her voice hitting him hard. “We’re doing just fine on our own.”
She walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind her, leaving Tyler standing alone in the small, silent living room. The weight of her words hung heavy in the air, and Tyler knew that he had a long way to go if he ever wanted to be a part of their lives again.
But for now, all he could do was leave, the coldness of YN’s rejection echoing in his mind as he walked out of the apartment and into the night.
----
One Year Later
Tyler stood outside YN’s apartment, feeling the familiar mix of anticipation and anxiety that always accompanied these visits. It had been another year since the last time he saw Noah, and the memory of YN’s cold words still lingered in his mind. He had tried to do better since then, tried to keep in touch and be more present, but the distance between them remained. Still, he couldn’t stay away, not when Noah was involved.
He knocked on the door, and after a moment, YN opened it. Her expression was unreadable, but there was no immediate anger or coldness, which felt like a small victory. She looked a little softer, a little more tired, but still had that guarded look about her.
“Tyler,” she greeted, stepping back to let him in. “Noah’s not here. He’s with my brother for the weekend.”
Tyler’s heart sank a little at the news, but he nodded. “That’s okay. I… I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
YN gave him a small, almost reluctant smile. “I’m fine. Come in. Do you want a drink?”
“Sure,” Tyler said, stepping inside. The apartment hadn’t changed much, still small and modest, but it was clear that YN had made it as comfortable as she could. He followed her into the kitchen, where she pulled a bottle of wine from the cabinet and poured them each a glass.
Tyler sat at the small kitchen table, the wine glass cool in his hand as he took a sip. The rich, dark liquid swirled in his mouth, its warmth spreading through him. Across the table, YN sat with her own glass, the tension between them slightly eased by the familiar comfort of alcohol. The room was quiet, the only sound the soft clink of their glasses and the occasional creak of the old apartment settling around them.
They had been talking for a while, skirting around the more difficult topics, focusing instead on safer ground—how Noah was doing, the latest developments at YN’s job, the weather. But as the wine began to loosen their tongues, the conversation took on a more reflective tone.
“Do you remember the first time we did this?” Tyler asked, swirling his wine around in his glass, the liquid catching the dim light. “Drank wine together, I mean?”
YN smiled, a small, wistful expression crossing her face. “Yeah, I do. It was that night after our first tornado chase together. You brought that cheap bottle of wine, and we drank it on the tailgate of your truck, watching the stars.”
Tyler chuckled softly. “I think that was the best bottle of wine I’ve ever had. Probably because of the company.”
YN rolled her eyes, but there was a warmth in her gaze that hadn’t been there in a long time. “It was terrible wine, but… yeah, it was a good night.”
They lapsed into silence for a moment, both lost in the memory of simpler times. The night outside was calm, a stark contrast to the storm of emotions that had defined their relationship over the past few years.
“You know,” Tyler began, his voice a little quieter now, “I never wanted things to turn out like this. I never wanted to hurt you.”
YN looked down at her glass, her fingers tracing the rim. “I know, Tyler. But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. Doesn’t make it any less real.”
Tyler nodded, swallowing hard. “I just… I wish I could go back and do things differently. Be there for you and Noah the way I should have been.”
YN’s eyes met his, and for the first time that night, Tyler saw a flicker of the vulnerability she had kept hidden. “We can’t go back,” she said softly. “All we can do is deal with what’s in front of us now.”
Tyler leaned back in his chair, his gaze drifting to the window. “And what’s in front of us now?” he asked, not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.
YN sighed, taking another sip of her wine. “Honestly? I don’t know. We’ve been doing okay, Noah and I. It’s been hard, but we’ve managed. But every time you come back… it stirs everything up again.”
“I don’t mean to make things harder for you,” Tyler said, his voice heavy with regret. “I just… I miss him. I miss you both.”
YN’s expression softened, but there was still a guardedness there, a hesitancy that hadn’t been present in those early days when they had been inseparable. “Tyler, I know you love Noah. And I know you care about me. But caring isn’t enough. It’s not enough to show up once in a while and expect things to be okay.”
“I know,” he admitted, his voice strained. “But I’m trying. I’m trying to be better.”
YN sighed, setting her glass down on the table. “I’ve heard that before, Tyler. And maybe you are trying, but it doesn’t change the fact that we’ve both been hurt. It doesn’t change the fact that I had to pick up the pieces and make a life for Noah and me without you.”
Tyler felt a lump forming in his throat, the weight of her words pressing down on him. “I hate that I put you in that position. I hate that I wasn’t there.”
“Then why weren’t you?” she asked, the question hanging heavy in the air. It was a question that had been asked before, but somehow, this time it felt different—more urgent, more necessary.
Tyler looked down at his hands, the glass of wine now forgotten. “I thought I was doing the right thing. Chasing storms, making a name for myself… I thought it was for us. But I got lost in it, lost in the adrenaline, the excitement. And by the time I realized what I was losing, it was too late.”
YN’s gaze softened slightly, but there was still a barrier between them, one built by years of disappointment. “It was never about the storms, Tyler. It was about being a family, about being there when it mattered. And you weren’t.”
Tyler nodded, accepting the truth of her words. “I know. And I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make up for it, but I want to try.”
YN leaned back in her chair, her expression pensive. “I don’t know if you can, Tyler. But maybe… maybe we can try to figure out where to go from here. For Noah’s sake, if nothing else.”
Tyler looked at her, hope flickering in his chest. “I’d like that,” he said softly. “I really would.”
As the night wore on, the conversation drifted to lighter topics—the funny things Noah had said recently, memories of old storm chases, even a few shared laughs. The tension slowly eased, replaced by something warmer, something that felt almost like the beginnings of healing.
And then, as the wine continued to work its way through their systems, Tyler found himself leaning in, his gaze locked on YN’s. The distance between them felt like it had narrowed, if only slightly, and before he knew it, he was kissing her.
For a moment, YN didn’t pull away. For a moment, it felt like things might be okay again, like they might be able to find their way back to each other. But then, even as she kissed him back, he heard her whisper, “Tyler, this is wrong…”
But neither of them stopped, not as the kiss deepened, not as the pull of something familiar and comforting took over. They were both too tired, too worn out by the weight of the past to resist the temptation of what used to be.
“Tyler, we shouldn’t…” she murmured, but her words trailed off as he kissed her neck, her hands tangling in his hair.
Tyler's hands trembled slightly as he lifted YN onto the counter, his lips still locked with hers in a kiss that grew more urgent by the second. His mind was clouded, every rational thought drowned out by the overwhelming need to be close to her again, to feel her against him. Their kisses were deep, almost desperate, filled with the longing and tension that had been building between them for years.
He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, searching for any sign that she wanted him to stop. But all he saw was the same need reflected back at him. Slowly, his hands moved to the hem of her shirt, fingers brushing against her skin as he lifted it over her head. She shivered at the contact, her breath catching in her throat as she looked up at him with wide eyes.
Tyler paused for a brief moment, taking in the sight of her—bare skin illuminated by the dim light, her chest rising and falling with each rapid breath. Then, with a sense of reverence, he leaned in and pressed his lips to her shoulder, trailing soft kisses along her collarbone. Her skin was warm, smooth, and he felt a surge of affection as he kissed his way down her arm, lingering at the crook of her elbow before moving back up to her neck.
YN let out a small, involuntary moan as his lips found the sensitive spot just below her ear. Encouraged, Tyler continued his exploration, kissing every inch of skin he could reach. His hands roamed over her body, tracing the curve of her waist, the dip of her back, the soft swell of her breasts. He took his time, savouring the feel of her under his fingers, the way her body responded to his touch.
With a gentle tug, he unhooked her bra, letting it fall away. He kissed down the centre of her chest, his lips warm against her bare skin. YN arched into him, her fingers threading through his hair as she tilted her head back, offering more of herself to him.
Tyler’s kisses grew hungrier, more insistent, as he worked his way lower. He kissed along the curve of her ribcage, his hands gripping her hips as he nuzzled his face against her stomach. Every inch of her skin was met with his lips, his touch both tender and possessive. It was as if he was trying to memorize the taste and feel of her, to make up for all the time they had lost.
He continued to kiss her, slowly, methodically, until he reached the waistband of her pants. He hesitated for a moment, his fingers hovering over the button, before looking up at her. YN’s eyes were half-closed, her lips parted, and she gave him the slightest nod, a silent invitation to continue.
With practiced ease, Tyler undid the button and slid her pants down, along with her underwear, leaving her completely exposed to him. He took a step back, his eyes raking over her bare form, and for a moment, all he could do was stare, his breath catching in his throat.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. It wasn’t just about the physical—though she was stunning—but about everything she represented. The love they had shared, the life they had built, and the possibility of something more, something they had both thought they had lost.
YN blushed under his gaze, a soft smile playing on her lips as she reached out for him. Tyler wasted no time in closing the distance between them, capturing her lips in another searing kiss. His hands were everywhere, touching, caressing, exploring her body with a renewed urgency.
As he kissed his way down her body again, taking his time with each tender caress, YN’s breathing became more erratic, her fingers clutching at his shoulders, his hair, anything she could reach. Tyler could feel the heat radiating off her, the tension coiling between them, and he knew she was as lost in this moment as he was.
He kissed his way down her stomach, his lips brushing over her hips, her thighs, the sensitive skin just below her navel. He wanted to take his time, to worship her the way she deserved, but the need in his own body was growing stronger, almost unbearable.
Finally, unable to resist any longer, Tyler lifted his head and met her gaze. There was something raw, almost desperate in his eyes as he leaned in close, his breath hot against her skin. “I’ve missed this,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve missed you.”
YN didn’t respond with words; instead, she pulled him up to her, capturing his lips in a kiss that was filled with all the unspoken feelings between them. The kiss was deep, intense, a perfect reflection of the emotions that had been simmering beneath the surface for years.
Tyler’s hands roamed over her body, memorizing every curve, every inch of bare skin as he pressed himself against her. The world outside the small apartment faded away, leaving just the two of them, lost in the moment, lost in each other.
He kissed her again and again, each kiss more passionate than the last, until they were both breathless, their bodies tangled together on the counter. As Tyler undressed himself, his movements were hurried, desperate, as if he couldn’t stand to be separated from her for even a second.
When he finally re-joined her, their bodies came together in a way that was as familiar as it was new, a perfect blend of past and present. As they moved together, their kisses never ceased, growing more intense, more desperate, until all that was left was the pure, raw connection between them.
In that moment, nothing else mattered—not the hurt, not the anger, not the uncertainty of the future. All that existed was the two of them, their bodies intertwined, their hearts beating in sync as they found their way back to each other, one kiss at a time.
----
One year later
When Tyler returned another year later, the air in YN’s small apartment felt different. Noah was now six, and the innocent joy in his son’s voice as he packed his bag in his room was a stark contrast to the tension simmering just beneath the surface between Tyler and YN.
As YN opened the door to let Tyler in, the look on her face was anything but warm. There was a distinct coldness in her eyes, a chill that hadn’t been there during their last encounter. Tyler noticed it immediately, though he couldn’t quite place why. She stepped aside, allowing him to enter, but there was no welcoming smile, no familiar spark.
“Hey,” Tyler greeted, trying to sound casual, though his stomach was already tightening with unease. “How’ve you been?”
YN didn’t answer right away. She simply closed the door behind him and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the wall. “Noah’s in his room packing,” she said curtly, avoiding his eyes. Her voice was distant, the usual warmth completely absent.
Tyler frowned, sensing that something was off. “Is everything okay?” he asked, concern lacing his tone. He took a step toward her, but she shifted slightly, putting more distance between them.
She looked at him then, really looked at him, and he saw the storm behind her eyes. “I’m fine,” she replied, though the tightness in her voice suggested otherwise. “But you… you seem to be doing just great.”
Tyler blinked, confusion washing over him. “What do you mean?”
YN’s gaze hardened. “Saw your little livestream the other day. The one with...what's her name again? Kacey? Kylie? Oh no, Kate.”
Realization dawned on him like a punch to the gut. He’d done a live stream with his storm-chasing crew a few days ago, a casual one where they’d been chatting about their latest chase. Kate, as always, had been her cheerful self, and at one point, he’d kissed her forehead in a playful, affectionate gesture—something that had seemed harmless at the time.
But seeing YN’s expression now, he knew it hadn’t come across that way to her.
“That—” Tyler began, struggling to find the right words. “That was nothing, YN. Kate’s just a friend. We were just messing around, that’s all.”
YN’s laugh was bitter, devoid of any humour. “Yeah, just messing around. Like we used to, right? Before things got complicated.”
Tyler’s heart sank. He knew this wasn’t just about the livestream. It was about all the times he hadn’t been there, all the times he’d put his career, his crew, before her and Noah. It was about how easily he seemed to move on, while she was left picking up the pieces.
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he insisted, his voice pleading now. “It was just a stupid, thoughtless thing. It doesn’t mean anything.”
YN finally looked him in the eye, and the pain there was unmistakable. “It means something to me, Tyler,” she said quietly. “It means that even after all this time, you still don’t get it. You still don’t understand what it’s like to be left behind while you’re out there, living your life without us.”
Tyler opened his mouth to argue, to tell her that she was wrong, that he did care, that he did understand. But the words wouldn’t come. Because deep down, he knew she was right. He’d always been better at chasing storms than at staying put, at dealing with the realities of the life they’d once tried to build together.
The silence between them stretched out, heavy and oppressive, until finally, YN sighed and shook her head. “Noah’s excited to see you,” she said, her tone softening just a little. “He’s been looking forward to it all week. So don’t ruin this for him.”
Tyler nodded, guilt gnawing at his insides. “I won’t,” he promised, though the words felt hollow in his mouth.
YN turned away from him, as if the conversation was over, and Tyler was left standing in the middle of the small living room, feeling like an intruder in a place that had once felt like home. The sound of Noah’s cheerful humming drifted in from the other room, a stark contrast to the icy atmosphere between his parents.
Tyler couldn’t shake the feeling that, no matter how much he tried, he would never be able to make things right between them. And as he stood there, waiting for Noah to finish packing, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was losing YN all over again—this time for good.
Requests for Tyler are open be free to send in as much as you wish!
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rothpie · 1 month ago
Text
❝FIDELITY❞ |part13
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MASTERLIST -`✮´- Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank
Summary: Kook!Reader’s world is upended by betrayal, and her only way forward might lie with the most unlikely person—JJ Maybank. But as they build a new life together, old flames and past mistakes refuse to stay buried.
Warnings: daddy issues
previous - next
The golden glow of the late afternoon sun bathed the shoreline in warm hues as the car came to a stop in front of a small, weathered beach house. The rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore was faint but unmistakable, a background melody that you hadn’t realized you missed until now. It had been years since you’d last set foot in the Outer Banks, but as you stepped out of the car, it felt like the island hadn’t aged a single day. 
From the backseat, Liliana was practically vibrating with excitement, her little sneakers tapping against the edge of the seat as she craned her neck to take in the house and the stretch of sand just beyond. “Is this it? Are we here? Is the beach right there? Can we go now?” Her words tumbled out in a rush, her face lit with pure anticipation. JJ had really hyped this up for her. 
JJ chuckled as he opened the trunk, throwing you a knowing glance. “Told you she wouldn’t be able to sit still the second we got here,” he teased, slinging a couple of bags over his shoulder. He leaned into the car to unbuckle Liliana, who was already wriggling like she could free herself. “Hold your horses, Lily! The sand’s not going anywhere.” 
“As if you didn’t spend the entire day filling her head with stories,” you shot back, grabbing your bag and giving him a pointed look. He just shrugged, flashing that lopsided grin of his that always brought out his dimples. 
“And I’d do it all over again,” he said, stepping closer, the playful glint in his eye unmistakable. 
Your brow shot up. “Oh, would you now?” 
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with mock solemnity, scooping Liliana out of the car like she weighed nothing. 
The moment her feet hit the ground, Liliana shot forward like a firework, running a few steps before skidding to a halt and turning back to you both. Her face was a mix of wonder and worry. “But what if the waves get too big and take all the sand away?” she asked, her big eyes wide with concern. 
You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head as you shut the car door. “That’s not how beaches work, sweetheart.” 
JJ walked over, effortlessly lifting Liliana back into his arms. Her little arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and her free hand pointed enthusiastically toward the dunes. “Come on, uncle JJ! You promised to show me the secret seashell spots!” 
He adopted an exaggeratedly serious expression, as if carefully considering her words. “Oh, you mean the super secret ones? The ones where mermaids leave their treasures?” 
The sharp intake of breath Liliana let out was so dramatic that you were sure the neighbors heard it. “Mermaid treasures? Really? You never told me that before!” She wriggled, trying to break free to race toward the beach. 
JJ held her a little tighter, laughing. “Easy, kiddo. First, we have to go over the beach rules. Right, Ma?” 
You arched an eyebrow at him, crossing your arms with a faint smirk. “Oh, there are rules now? This is news to me.” 
JJ grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he bounced Liliana lightly in his arms. “Rule number one: You always stick with your beach buddy.” He gave Liliana a small shake for emphasis. “And guess what? I’m your official beach buddy. Certified pro.” 
Liliana nodded seriously, like he’d just shared the most important information of her young life. “Got it. Beach buddy. What’s rule two?” 
JJ tilted his head like he was deep in thought, but you could tell he was stalling. He clearly hadn’t expected her to press for more. The realization made you stifle a laugh. 
“Rule two…” He trailed off, then snapped his fingers like he’d just remembered. “Oh, right! Never, ever leave the beach without finding the perfect seashell for your mom.” 
The warmth in your chest spread so quickly it was almost overwhelming. You didn’t even try to hide your smile. “A very important rule,” you said softly. 
“And no going into the water without our say-so,” you added, shooting JJ a quick look. He nodded firmly in agreement, giving Liliana a playful kiss on the cheek. 
“Got that, sweet pea? Most important rule of all,” he said, his voice gentler now. 
Liliana turned to you with the most serious expression her tiny face could muster. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll find the prettiest one for you. Maybe even a mermaid shell!” 
When JJ finally set her down, she took off again, her little feet leaving chaotic patterns in the sand as she dashed toward the dunes. JJ stepped beside you, setting the bags down as he followed your gaze. 
“Is everything okay?” he asked quietly, his hand brushing yours in that casual, familiar way that always made your stomach flutter. 
You glanced at him, sunlight catching the angles of his face in a way that was almost unfair. Beneath his usual playful demeanor was that rare sincerity that always left you a little breathless. “She already loves it,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 
Liliana’s excited shout broke through the moment. She stood at the edge of the dunes, waving frantically. “Come on, slowpokes! We’ve got mermaid treasures to find!” 
JJ nudged your shoulder and leaned in, planting a quick kiss on your cheek. “You heard the boss.” 
And just like that, the two of you trailed after her, leaving the bags behind for now. As you watched Liliana’s tiny figure dart across the vast expanse of sand and sky, the weight of your old worries began to fade. 
With JJ and Liliana by your side, the past didn’t seem so heavy anymore. Their laughter and joy had a way of grounding you, steadying you like nothing else could. Almost like a balm for every wound you thought would never heal.
-
The soft rays of morning sunlight filtered through the expansive windows of Cameron Development's conference room. Rafe sat at the head of the table, pretending to listen to the consultant leading the meeting. Carefully crafted slides lit up the large screen, their graphs and figures giving the room a heavy, serious air. But Rafe’s mind was far removed from the dense mathematics on display.
He absently twirled the pen in his hand, his fingers tapping a rhythmic pattern on the table. The others in the room were focused—scribbling notes, nodding in agreement, and asking sharp questions. Yet Rafe felt as though he were sealed off in a bubble of silence, alone amidst the crowd. Inside, a weight lingered—indescribable and unshakable, like an itch beneath the skin.
“Mr. Cameron, the cost analysis for this property is displayed in the following chart...” a voice began, pulling him out of his thoughts. The woman's words, however, sounded distant, as if she were speaking from another room. Rafe’s eyes flicked to the screen, but the numbers meant nothing. They blurred together like meaningless symbols.
After a moment, his assistant Jasmine leaned over and whispered, “Mr. Cameron, is everything all right?” 
Startled, Rafe tore his gaze from the screen and looked at her. He straightened in his chair, shaking his head. “Yes, go on,” he replied, his voice harsher than he intended. Jasmine recoiled slightly before retreating, returning to her notes as the presentation continued.
But that unease—that suffocating sense of discontent—had been with him all morning. Even as he sipped his coffee earlier, he’d tried to pinpoint its source and come up empty. Maybe it was the wine he’d indulged in last night. Or the muggy weather. Yet, deep down, he knew it was neither. This wasn’t the usual stress of work. It felt like a harbinger of something unknown.
He was tired of certain things. Years ago, he’d envisioned this life differently. But now, as his father Ward Cameron prepared to pass the company to him in just a few months, Rafe couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d been chasing the wrong dream. Gaining his father’s approval had been the ultimate goal for years, and now that it was within reach, he wasn’t sure he wanted it anymore.
What did he want? He couldn’t answer that either. But he knew it wasn’t this monotonous grind. Waking up, burying himself in work, and returning home late at night to collapse into bed—it was draining him. He missed having a life.
He felt like a machine. His hangouts with Kelce and Topper had dwindled. There was no one special in his life. Occasionally, they played golf, only to part ways afterward. 
Not that he wanted his old life back. The endless partying had lost its appeal long ago. He was closer to thirty than twenty. 
Parties were for the young, and he wasn’t young anymore. His life revolved around work now. But even so, he wished for something resembling balance. 
No one forced him to work until midnight—he chose it. He could leave at a normal hour, like everyone else. But then he’d just be another employee in his father’s eyes. And yet... he couldn’t tell if his father’s opinion even mattered to him anymore.
The meeting finally wrapped up. As the attendees trickled out, Rafe stayed seated, leaning against the edge of the table and staring out the window. The city outside was alive, its energy a stark contrast to the sterile stillness of the office. Cars passed, people chatted. It was just another day for them. For Rafe, nothing felt ordinary anymore.
He heard Jasmine approach but didn’t turn to her. His gaze remained on the street. Outer Banks moved at its own pace, a rhythm he’d forgotten how to follow. “What’s next on the schedule, Jasmine?”
“There’s a site visit this afternoon, and a meeting at five,” she replied. He nodded, not saying anything more. Taking the cue, Jasmine stepped away.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. Fishing it out, he saw Topper’s name flash on the screen. With a resigned sigh, he answered, “What is it, Topper? I’m busy.”
Grabbing his wallet and car keys from the table, Rafe listened as his old friend’s voice came through, casual and unapologetic. “Man, you’re always busy. It’s boring as fuck!”
Suppressing an eye roll, Rafe considered hanging up. Topper could be exhausting.
Unlike Rafe, Topper hadn’t taken on any family responsibilities. He lived off his parents’ wealth, hosting parties and drinking himself into oblivion on his yacht. It was the life Rafe used to lead, now a distant memory.
“If you’ve called for no reason, I’m hanging up. I’ve got work to do,” Rafe said, heading toward the elevator. He nodded briefly at a few passing colleagues, their polite smiles a reminder of his carefully curated image.
“Don’t tell me you’re skipping my birthday, man. It’s my 25th! It’s gonna be legendary! You know that new yacht my dad got? I’m packing it full of people—drinks, music, girls—the works!” Topper’s enthusiasm was palpable. 
Rafe stepped into the elevator, shaking his head at the absurdity of it all. Five years ago, he might’ve been thrilled. Now, it felt like a relic of a life he’d already left behind.
“Topper,” Rafe said, his tone sharp with warning. He rubbed his temple, already tired of the conversation.
“Come on! It’s my birthday! We’re best friends! You can’t ditch me—it’s practically betrayal!” Topper’s mock indignation made Rafe huff out a reluctant laugh. As much as he could be a pain, Topper had been his closest friend since they were kids.
“Fine,” Rafe relented. “I’ll be there. But don’t expect much more from me.” 
Topper’s triumphant whoop on the other end made Rafe’s lips twitch into a faint smile. Annoying or not, Topper had a way of breaking through his walls.
“Bring Sarah too,” Topper added slyly. At that, Rafe’s smile vanished, replaced by a sharp furrow of his brows.
"Fuck off. You’re disgusting. She’s married, man." Rafe grimaced as he stepped out of the elevator, almost revolted. He couldn't stomach the idea of his best friend dating his sister again. Once was bad enough; thinking about it now made him queasy all over again.
"I know, I know. I was just joking. Besides, Ruthie would lose her mind if she saw us." Rafe rolled his eyes, heading toward the company entrance.
"If you think I’ll let you use my sister to make Ruthie jealous, I’ll come over there right now and break your nose." He pressed the button on his key fob to unlock his car parked at a distance.
"If that’s what it takes to get you to hang out, sure. Come on, man, I just wanna spend some time with my buddy." Rafe opened the car door and slid into the driver’s seat.
"Yeah, no. Screw off. I’ll see you tonight."
After hanging up on Topper, Rafe let out a deep sigh, though it did nothing to ease the tension gnawing at him. He stared at the phone in his hand for a moment before tossing it onto the passenger seat. 
Of course, he’d meet up with him later. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do tonight—today had already been a miserable excuse for a day. Maybe killing time with a drink and some banter would bring a flicker of color back to his gray world.
His schedule after the meeting had him heading out to scout a new piece of land, but he found himself pulling into a store parking lot instead. Maybe he needed a bottle of water, a cup of coffee—or maybe just something, anything.
He’d always hated smoking. The handful of times he’d indulged were just to blend in, and even then, he’d sworn it off years ago. Two years clean, give or take. 
But now? Now he craved something—cigarettes, coffee, maybe just a distraction. 
Music might help, or something to drown out the endless chatter in his head. He couldn't seem to live with the gnawing unease inside him. Not just live—enjoy. Life had become tasteless.
He was tired of the monotony, yet he didn’t want to fall into the reckless chaos of living without direction. He didn’t want to become like Topper—didn’t want to go back to the way things were four years ago. He’d left that life behind. Still, he couldn’t shake the hollow sense that life itself had no meaning anymore.
Wake up. Coffee. Work. Lunch. More work. Home. Sleep. Repeat.
It wasn’t that he expected something or even hoped for it. He just believed—deep down—that his life needed spontaneity, something unscripted.
When he glanced at other people’s lives, he hated the envy that simmered under his skin. He had everything—literally everything. Half the island bore his family’s name. He had the money, the yachts, the cars, the houses, and the company that would eventually be his.
Thinking back on how hard he’d tried to earn his father’s approval made him cringe. The future had already been set in stone. He would have ended up with it all anyway. Sarah had never wanted the company, not even as a backup plan. She couldn’t picture herself stuck in a 9-to-5 grind. She’d built a life with John B—a life she’d chosen.
Sarah made her choice.
But Rafe couldn’t help feeling like he’d fought too hard for the life he now had. The absurdity of struggling for something he was destined to inherit stung.
Looking at Sarah’s life now—running that local restaurant with the guy she loved, the one they built brick by brick—it was obvious she was happy. They spent their time together. And whenever Rafe saw her, she wore a smile so big it was impossible not to notice.
She enjoyed what she did. She had a purpose, a goal—not a grandiose one, but something she’d worked toward piece by piece.
Rafe had always aimed for the top. He wanted the best and wouldn’t settle for less. Every time he fell short, he hated it. But Sarah Cameron—now Sarah Routledge—knew how to stumble and pick herself up. She wasn’t afraid to rise slowly, setting her sights a little higher each time. Rafe, on the other hand, had always gone straight for the summit.
Sometimes he wished he could be more like her—the beloved child, the one who succeeded without trying too hard, who didn’t draw ire even when they failed.
But those thoughts felt toxic now. He no longer envied Sarah the way he had years ago. He knew her ability to be loved came from the absence of the poisonous thoughts that plagued him.
He didn’t want to look at her with bitterness or jealousy anymore. He wanted to erase those thoughts from his mind. She was his sister, and he was happy for her.
Still, he couldn’t help but admire her.
Rafe pulled his car into the convenience store’s lot and stepped out quickly, desperate for a distraction.
Every time his mind drifted to the past, it felt like his heart skipped a beat. The way he’d treated his sister—the jealousy, the reckless behavior—it was nothing short of awful. He had been a terrible person, a terrible brother.
And a terrible boyfriend.
Even if he wanted to believe those years hadn’t happened, some moments—some memories—clung to him like an unwanted shadow. During the rare moments when he let his guard down, his mind always wandered back to one thing.
Regrets and what-ifs.
His thoughts would take him there, wandering through a maze of past mistakes and fleeting happiness.
Of course, he had happy moments, as everyone did. But the happiest ones stuck with him, refusing to fade—even when he drank to forget them. 
And sometimes, he hated that. The harder he tried to drown those memories in alcohol, the sharper they became. He’d never seen himself as the kind of guy to cry drunkenly. Not until the last three years.
He clung to regrets and the potential of what could have been. He despised the ideals and fears that had once defined him. He loathed how every "truth" he’d believed in had turned out to be a lie, and how he was always the wrong person at the wrong time.
Sometimes, he couldn’t help but question and compare the choices his current self made versus the ones he’d made in the past. If he’d do it differently now. Would he, or wouldn’t he? The answer had never once changed: he’d undo every mistake. Every single one. He wouldn’t have done any of it. Not a single thing. 
She had been the right person at the right time. There was no way it hadn’t been the right time for her. But for him? Rafe wasn’t so sure. He’d been the wrong person at the wrong time—both, at once. 
Rafe stepped into the store, pulling his phone from his pocket as it buzzed with a notification. Jasmine. She was texting about some of the stakeholders causing trouble regarding the new property. 
“Perfect,” he muttered under his breath, irritation already bubbling up. He inhaled sharply, trying to calm himself. He had to think this through carefully and not let his temper get the best of him. This wasn’t some minor hiccup in his day—this was business. He couldn’t make rash decisions and screw it all up. 
He focused on steadying himself, considering what sort of issue this particular idiot might be stirring up. Was the guy testing his patience on purpose? Trying to push his boundaries? 
With another deep breath, he worked to calm the tension in his chest. Ward would have handled this with ease, but Rafe’s impulsive nature had always been his Achilles' heel. He cursed himself for it. Quickly, he typed a reply to Jasmine, asking her to cancel the evening’s meeting and schedule one with the problematic stakeholder instead. He followed up with instructions for Jasmine to stall the guy and keep things civil until then. 
As soon as the messages were sent, the sound of his own thoughts drowned out the world around him. It was like something was pulling at him, calling his name. He shoved the phone back into his pocket, trusting Jasmine to handle it. She always did. 
Looking up, he ran a hand through his hair, his gaze wandering toward the aisle ahead. That’s when he saw it—the door opening, letting in a gust of cool air. A woman walked in, a small child at her side. 
At first, he couldn’t make out her face, but something about the way she moved felt… familiar. Rafe’s heart stuttered, an inexplicable urgency creeping into his veins. He knew her. He knew her well. Or at least—he had, years ago. 
The woman stepped further into the store, placing a few items on the counter. Then, she turned. 
And Rafe froze.
You. 
It was you. He was sure of it. Nothing in his life had ever felt this certain. That face—etched into his memory, the one he used to know every detail of—was still the same, even with the faint traces time had left behind. His heart raced and sank all at once. Seeing you again, after all these years, wasn’t supposed to be this easy. 
Four years. Four long years without hearing your voice, without holding your hands. Yet you had never left his mind. Your name, your face, every moment spent with you—they were all still there, as vivid as ever. 
You had lost the golden tan you used to have, but your eyes—they spoke volumes. And your smile? God, that smile. It could kill him. A smile that big shouldn’t even be legal. 
Shit. You were still breathtaking. Rafe wanted to fall at your feet, worship you. You were still the most beautiful girl on the island, and nobody else even came close. 
He had thought about you so much. There were nights he thought he might go insane from not being able to see you. The disappointment he felt when he saw you’d removed most of your Instagram followers, leaving only a few family members, and then made your account private—it had stung more than he cared to admit. 
How many times had he stared at your profile picture, wishing he could have just one more chance to stand by your side? To go back and rewrite everything? He couldn’t count. He would’ve given up everything for a do-over. 
But then his eyes drifted to the small child by your side. His heart, which had been racing, suddenly slowed to a halt. He hadn’t noticed the little girl at first, too focused on you. She was cheerful, looking around the store with wide eyes, holding up a chocolate bar in her tiny hands. She said something to you, and you bent down with a soft smile to answer her. 
But Rafe wasn’t watching that moment of sweetness. He was staring at her face. 
Those eyes.
Rafe’s breath caught in his throat. The girl’s eyes—they were his. The same intensity, the same color, the same expression. Something deep inside him caught fire, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe properly. Everything felt so sharp and clear, yet utterly chaotic. 
He had always known this was a possibility. In the back of his mind, he had replayed your last conversation over and over. You’d told him you were drunk. He had assumed you’d terminated the pregnancy. But the thought that you might not have—that had lingered in his mind all these years. 
You’d told him you were keeping the baby. He hadn’t asked, and you hadn’t offered any more than that. 
And now, standing here, it hit him like a truck. 
A girl. 
She was his. Yours. 
Their daughter.
You lifted your head then, your eyes meeting his. And Rafe saw the panic there, the shadow of old memories and old fears. For a moment, you froze. The child clung to your leg, oblivious, as you and Rafe just stared at each other. God, he had missed looking at you. Even from a distance, he had missed seeing your face. 
But then you moved. Quickly. You grabbed the little girl’s hand and turned away, your other hand carrying the bag of groceries. You headed toward the exit without looking back. 
Rafe stood there, rooted to the spot, as if chained in place. He wanted to call out, “Wait!” But the words stuck in his throat. He wanted to chase after you, but he didn’t know what he’d say if he did. 
The way you had left made it clear you didn’t want to talk. And he had already hurt you enough. The last thing he wanted was to reopen old wounds. 
And yet, he couldn’t stop staring after you, his heart in his throat. He’d need time to process this. To figure out what the hell he was supposed to do now.
He felt like he was drowning. All he could think about was getting out, finding air, calming himself. Memories crashing against him so vividly made it hard to breathe.
As he rushed out of the store, he tried to steady his breathing, but it didn’t help. His hands were trembling as he walked to his car.
It was as if he were drowning. He just needed to get out—out of this moment, out of this place—and catch his breath. The way his past had suddenly been thrust in his face made it hard to breathe.
He left the market in a rush, trying to control his deep, shaky breaths. His hands trembled as he walked toward his car.
---
Rafe, still struggling to process what had happened in the market, found himself standing outside Sarah's office. His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too hard, a physical reflection of the chaos in his mind. He had seen Bella. A little girl... and now, everything was in disarray.
He didn’t think much—he couldn’t. He was looking for a safe harbor, someone to help him shoulder the weight of seeing you again after all these years. The missed chances, the regrets—they crushed him.
He had been young then, practically a fool kid. He was never sure if the decision he’d made was the right one.
So, without a second thought, he drove to Sarah. He knew he couldn’t go to Topper. Topper wouldn’t understand—he didn’t even know about the baby. And even if he did, he was too shallow to handle something this big. Kelce wouldn’t get it either; he’d just tell Rafe to let it go. That left Sarah as his only option.
Despite the fact that Sarah could be insufferably annoying sometimes, Rafe knew she would understand. Unlike him, she was good with emotions. She could empathize and offer sound advice. She was the only one who could talk him through this.
No matter how much she had changed, when it came to you, Rafe knew Sarah would hesitate to steer him wrong. This wasn’t some trivial matter—it was serious. It was about the woman he had once loved. 
When Rafe knocked on Sarah’s door, he was a tangled mess of unease. He couldn’t get you out of his head. The way your hair had once been straight, now effortlessly wavy. The childlike look on your face had been replaced with a maturity that only made you more beautiful—almost impossibly so. You’d always been an angel in his eyes, but now? Now you seemed ethereal.
“Rafe? What’s wrong?” Sarah asked, her tone laced with worry. She was almost panicked at the sight of him. It had probably been months since her brother had shown up at her door. To see him looking so unhinged? That had been years.
“We need to talk,” Rafe said, his voice lacking its usual edge. It was almost shaky. He needed to calm down, and he needed Sarah’s clear-headedness to help him think straight.
Sarah hesitated but opened the door fully. “Of course, come in.”
Rafe walked into the living room but didn’t sit down. He shoved his hands into his pockets and paced around before facing Sarah. “I saw her today,” he blurted out. His hands, deep in his pockets, felt ice-cold despite the sweltering heat outside.
Sarah’s face froze. “Saw who?”
He steadied himself, finally saying your name. His gaze fixed on some point on the wall, far away. “She was in the market. She had a little kid with her,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. He didn’t know what to do. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing again like a trapped animal. He felt like he was losing it.
Sarah stayed quiet for a moment, a shadow of concern crossing her face. “And?” She was bracing for some sort of story—a confrontation, a drama, maybe even a fight. Watching Rafe’s agitated figure pace the room was dizzying. He needed to calm down.
“And…” Rafe shook his head slowly. “Nothing happened. Just… our eyes met. Her eyes…” He trailed off, haunted. “I couldn’t stop looking. But I told you, didn’t I? She said she called me because she was drunk. And I thought that she… that she got rid of her. I thought she—” His voice cracked. “I thought she did. I never knew for sure because we stopped talking, but I saw them today. Both of them.”
Sarah took a deep breath, trying to steady her tone. She didn’t want Rafe to catch on to her growing unease. “Rafe, I’m not sure bringing this up is a good idea.”
“I just keep thinking!” Rafe’s voice rose. “It’s not like I wanted this! She told me she was drunk—what was I supposed to think?! And now—now, after all these years, I see her, and I don’t know what to do.” He was trying to rein himself in, to pull back the storm brewing inside him. He wasn’t blaming you. He regretted the pressure he had put on you back then, hated himself for it. It had always been your choice. It always would be.
But he had spent years in limbo, stuck in a no-man’s-land between missing you and wondering what had become of you.
Sarah looked down, staying silent. But Rafe’s eyes stayed locked on her, probing. “You shouldn’t do anything, Rafe. Maybe she’s just visiting. After all, she and Liliana haven’t been here in years—”
Rafe froze. His entire body went still, and his head snapped toward Sarah. “What did you say?”
Sarah stammered, realizing too late what she’d let slip. Her lips parted in panic as she cursed herself inwardly. All she had to do was keep quiet—and she hadn’t.
“I—I mean, I just—”
���Liliana?” Rafe’s voice was ice-cold, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “Who’s Liliana?”
Rafe blinked, his mind whirring. Just moments ago, he had been pacing like a caged animal. Now, he stood stock-still, rigid as if he were a machine running out of power. The silence in the room was deafening. “Is that her name?” His voice grew sharper, angrier with Sarah’s continued silence. “How do you know her name?!”
Sarah stayed silent for a beat, her gaze dropping to the floor as she braced herself for the hell she knew was coming. Her lips opened and closed uselessly before she finally exhaled. She was screwed. “I—I mean, we—met a few times. In Asheville—”
Rafe stumbled back, almost losing his balance. He shook his head slowly. “You were meeting with her? While I was here, losing my mind, wondering if she was even alive?!” His voice cracked with fury, spiraling out of control. Sarah flinched at his rising volume, clasping her hands nervously in front of her. 
“Rafe—” Sarah started, her voice defensive. She knew she had messed up, big time. Not only had she let it slip, but now, with Rafe losing it right in front of her, she had to keep herself from blurting out everything else. Because if Rafe knew this, he’d want to know the whole truth.
“She didn’t want our family involved,” Sarah explained cautiously. “And you—”
“Stop right there, Sarah! That should’ve been my choice!” Rafe roared, his voice shaking with emotion. “I didn’t want it, fine, I’ll admit that. But that doesn’t mean you had the right to take away my chance to know her. Or— or what she’s done! You’re my sister—my own blood. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Sarah narrowed her eyes, fists clenched. It took everything in her not to hurl the closest vase at his head. “You already made your decision, Rafe! You chose to stay out of her life, to abandon her! So don’t you dare come at me now just because I didn’t fill you in on everything she’s been up to! If you cared so much, you’d have been there! Instead of partying while she was pregnant, maybe you could’ve been in the delivery room with her!”
“Oh, so I didn’t care?!” Rafe barked out a bitter laugh, his hands trembling. You had been the first person who made him believe in love, the first to show him kindness for no reason at all. The only person who made him want to be better. The only person he ever loved. “That’s your excuse? My mistakes? You think I don’t know I screwed up? Of course, I know! But since when did that give you the right to keep everything from me?”
Sarah shot to her feet, glaring daggers at him. “Oh, don’t even start with me! Since when did me being there for my niece and her mom turn into ‘keeping things from you’? Yes, I spent time with them. What was I supposed to do? Ignore them just because you didn’t want to be in the picture? Grow up, Rafe!”
“It was my choice!” Rafe yelled, his voice raw with frustration. His eyes burned with an intensity that matched his words. “But don’t you get it? I was falling apart! Every day without her—without them—was hell! And you saw it! You knew how much I loved her! You knew why I made that choice, why I did that!”
The argument had reached a boiling point. Sarah shook her head, finally stepping back, her voice quivering with quiet fury. “Oh, I remember your ‘choice,’ Rafe. The one you made to earn Dad’s approval by erasing her and the baby. That’s what we’re talking about, right? Own it for once!” Her voice dripped with venom, though her expression was eerily calm. She was done yelling.
At this point, she didn’t think there was anything left to defend. Rafe wasn’t the only one who had suffered. Sarah had been there. She had been there for you when you gave birth, and the father of your child wasn’t. Instead, JJ, Cleo, Pope, Kiara, John B, and Sarah herself had stood by your side. But Rafe? Nowhere to be found.
“At least when you got wasted, you had the luxury of waking up the next morning and moving on. She didn’t. Eight months after you walked out, she was leaking milk through her shirt while a baby screamed in the next room, and she was still recovering from giving birth. You left her alone, Rafe. So no, you don’t get to come in here and play the victim. I didn’t tell you, yeah. You’re damn right I didn’t.” Sarah crossed her arms, forcing herself to stay calm. Despite everything, he was still her brother.
“And you know what? I’m glad I didn’t. Because if you had even a shred of courage, you would’ve been there to find out yourself.”
Rafe froze for a moment, his chest heaving as he tried to contain himself. He took a long, shaky breath, but the anger in his eyes refused to fade. Finally, he shook his head, his jaw tight, and turned sharply toward the door. The slam echoed through the house, leaving Sarah standing there in silence.
Everything was a disaster. He hated it all—hated the situation, hated himself. But most of all, he hated that Sarah was right. 
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anipgarden · 2 years ago
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Things to Do that Aren't Related to Growing Plants
This is my second post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert--just an enthusiast--but I hope something you find here helps! 
Some of us just don’t have much luck when it comes to growing plants. Some of us simply want to aim for other ways to help that don’t involve putting on gardening gloves. Maybe you've already got a garden, but you want to do more. No problem! There’s a couple of options you can look into that’ll help attract wildlife in your area without even having to bring out any shovels!
Provide a Water Source
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Oftentimes when I see ‘add a water source’ in informational articles about improving your backyard for wildlife, it’s almost always followed by an image of a gorgeous backyard pond with a waterfall and rock lining that looks expensive to set up, difficult to maintain, and overall just… not feasible for me. Arguably, not feasible for a lot of people. And that’s okay! There’s still ways to add water in your garden for all kinds of creatures to enjoy!
There’s tons of ways to create watering stations for insects like bees and butterflies. A self refilling dog bowl can work wonders! Add some stones into the receiving tray for insects to land on or use to climb out, and you’ve got a wonderful drinking spot for all kinds of insects! You can also fill a saucer or other dish with small stones and fill it, though it’ll likely need refilling daily or even several times a day during hot times. 
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I've seen people online use all kinds of things to make water features. Some go with terra-cotta pots, pebbles, and a cheap pump to get a small and simple fountain. Others use old tires, clay, and a hole in the ground to create an in-ground mini pond system. If all else fails, even a bucket or watertight box with a few plants in it can do the trick--though do be wary of mosquitoes if the water isn’t moving. In situations like these, a solar-powered fountain pump or bubbler are great for keeping the water moving while still making it a drinking option for wildlife (it not even more appealing for some)--and these items can be obtained fairly cheap online!
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Bird baths are an option as well--a classic way to provide for birds in your area, they can be easy to find online or in a gardening store! The only downside is that a good, quality bird bath can be pricey up-front. However, a nice stone bird bath should last a long time, be easy to clean and refill, and be enjoyed by many birds! I’ve also seen tutorials on how to make your own with quickcrete! Bird baths will be a welcome sight to birds, as they provide a space for them to drink and bathe to regulate the oils in their feathers for flight and insulation. Putting a stone in the middle will also help insects to escape if they fall in, and provide a place to perch so they can get their own drink. You’ll want to change the water and clean the baths regularly--as often as once a week, if you can manage it.
If possible, it’s highly encouraged to fill and refill water features with rainwater instead of tap water. Tap water is often treated, so instead of using hoses or indoor kitchen water, collecting some rainwater is a great alternative. Collecting rainwater can be as simple as leaving cups, bins, or pots outside for awhile.
Butterflies and other creatures will also drink from mud puddles. If you can maintain an area of damp soil mixed with a small amount of salt or wood ash, this can be fantastic for them! Some plants also excel at storing water within their leaves and flowers (bromeliads come to mind), making them an excellent habitat for amphibians as well as a drinking spot for insects and birds.
Bird Feeders and Bird Houses
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Some of the fancy, decorated bird feeders are expensive, but others can be pretty low-cost--I got my bird feeder from Lowe’s for around 10 dollars, and a big bag of birdseed was around another 10 dollars and has lasted several refills! If you don’t mind occasionally buying more birdseed, a single birdfeeder can do a lot to attract and support local birds! If you’re handy, have some spare wood, and have or can borrow some tools, you may even be able to find instructions online to make your own feeder. You may not even need wood to do so! Even hummingbird feeders, I’ve found, are quick to attract them, as long as you keep them stocked up on fresh sugar water in the spring and summer!
An important note with bird feeders is that you have to make sure you can clean them regularly. Otherwise, they may become a vector for disease, and we want to avoid causing harm whenever possible. Also keep an ear out and track if there’s known outbreaks of bird diseases in your area. If local birding societies and scientists are advising you take your birdfeeders down for awhile, by all means, do it!
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Bird houses are naturally paired with bird feeders as biodiversity promoters for backyard spaces, and it makes sense. Having bird houses suited to birds in your area promotes them to breed, raise their young, disperse seeds, and generally engage in your surrounding environment. Setting them up takes careful selection or construction, preparation, and some patience, but sooner or later you might get some little homemakers! Keep in mind, you will need to clean your birdhouses at least once a year (if not once per brood) to make sure they’re ready and safe for birds year after year--you wouldn’t want to promote disease and parasites, after all. But they could be a valuable option for your landscape, whether you purchase one or construct your own! 
Again, do make sure you're putting up the right kind of boxes for the right kinds of birds. Bluebird boxes are some I see sold most commonly, but in my area I believe they're not even all that common--a nesting box for cardinals or chickadees would be far more likely to see success here! And some birds don't even nest in boxes--robins and some other birds are more likely to use a nesting shelf, instead! Research what birds live in your area, take note of any you see around already, and pick a few target species to make homes for!
Solitary Bee Houses
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A bee house or bee hotel is a fantastic way to support the solitary bees in your area! For a few dollars and some annual cleaning, you can buy a solitary bee house from most big box nurseries. Alternatively, you can make one at home, with an array of materials you may already have lying around! You can even make them so that they’ll benefit all kinds of insects, and not necessarily just bees.
Though you don’t even necessarily have to break out the hammer and nails, buy a ton of bricks, or borrow a staple gun. Making homes for tunneling bees can be as simple as drilling holes in a log and erecting it, or drilling holes in stumps and dead trees on your property. You might even attract some woodpeckers by doing this!
Providing Nesting Area
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There are tons of different kinds of bees, and they all make different kinds of homes for themselves. Not all of them make big cavity hives like honey bees, or will utilize a solitary bee house. Bumblebees live in social hives underground, particularly in abandoned holes made by rodents--some others nest in abandoned bird nests, or cavities like hollow logs, spaces between rocks, compost piles, or unoccupied birdhouses. Borer, Ground, and Miner bees dig into bare, dry soil to create their nests. Sparsely-vegetated patches of soil in well-drained areas are great places to find them making their nests, so providing a similar habitat somewhere in the garden can encourage them to come! I do talk later in this document about mulching bare soil in a garden--however, leaving soil in sunny areas and south-facing slopes bare provides optimal ground nesting habitat. Some species prefer to nest at the base of plants, or loose sandy soil, or smooth-packed and flat bare ground. They’ve also been known to take advantage of soil piles, knocked over tree roots, wheel ruts in farm roads, baseball diamonds and golf course sand traps. You can create nesting ground by digging ditches or creating nesting mounds in well-drained, open, sunny areas with sandy or silty soil. However, artificially constructed ground nests may only have limited success. 
Providing Alternative Pollinator Foods
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Nectar and pollen aren’t the only foods sought out by some pollinators! Some species of butterflies are known to flock to overripe fruit or honey water, so setting these out can be an excellent way to provide food to wildlife. You may want to be cautious about how you set these out, otherwise it can help other wildlife, like ants or raccoons. Butterflies may also drop by to visit a sponge in a dish of lightly salted water. 
Bat Houses and Boxes
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Big or small, whether they support five bats or five hundred, making bat boxes and supporting local bats is a great way to boost biodiversity! Not only will they eat mosquitoes and other pest species, but you may also be able to use the guano (bat droppings) as fertilizer! Do be careful if you choose to do that though--I’ve never had the opportunity to, so do some research into how strong it is and use it accordingly.
Provide Passageway Points
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If you want your area to be more accessible for creatures that can’t fly or climb fences, allowing or creating access points can be an excellent way to give them a way in and out. Holes in the bottom of walls or fences can be sheltered with plants to allow animals through. 
In a somewhat similar manner, if you’re adding a water fixture, it’s important to provide animals a way to get into and out of the pond--no way in, and they can’t use the water. No way out, and they may drown. Creating a naturalistic ramp out of wood beams or sticks, or stepped platforms out of bricks, stones, or logs can do the trick. 
Get or Keep Logs and Brush Piles
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I’ve already mentioned logs a good handful of times so far in this post. To be used as access ramps, or as nesting areas for solitary bees. But they have value as much more than that! Logs on the ground provide shelter for all kinds of animals, especially depending on size--anything from mice, reptiles, and amphibians to things like turkey vultures and bears will use fallen logs as shelter. Inside of a decaying log, there’s a lot of humidity, so amphibians are big fans of them--meanwhile, the upper sides of them can be used as sunning platforms by things like lizards. Other animals can also use the insides of logs as nest sites and hiding places from predators too big to fit inside. Fungi, spiders, beetles, termites, ants, grubs, worms, snails, slugs, and likely much more can be found inside rotting logs, using the rotting wood as food sources or nesting places. They can then provide food for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and birds. They can also be regarded as a landmark or territory marker as wildlife get more familiar with your space.
So how do you get logs for cheap? Try Chip Drop! I talk about them more in a future post, but you can mark saying that you’d like logs in your drop, so they’ll give you any they have! In fact, you may even get a drop faster if you're willing to accept some logs. You may also be able to approach arborists you see working in your area and ask for logs. There may also be local online listings for people selling logs for cheap, or just trying to get rid of them. If there’s land development going on near you, you may be able to snag logs from trees they cut down to make space. Do keep in mind, you don’t need to have huge gigantic logs laying around your property to make an impact--even small logs can help a lot.
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If possible, creating and leaving brush piles on the edge of your property can be a great boost to biodiversity--even if you may not see the wildlife using it. They’ll provide shelter from weather and predators, and lower portions are cool and shady for creatures to avoid the hot sun. The upper layers can be used as perch sites and nest sites for song birds, while lower layers are resting sites for amphibians and reptiles, and escape sites for many mammals. As the material decays, they also attract insects, and as such they’ll attract insect-eating animals too. As more small animals find refuse in your brush pile, their predators will be attracted to them as well. Owls, hawks, foxes, and coyotes are known to visit brush piles to hunt. Making a brush pile can be as simple as piling branches and leaves into a mound, as big or as small as you want. You can even use tree stumps or old fence posts near the base, and keep stacking on plant trimmings and fallen branches. Do note that you don’t want to do this near anything like a fire pit.
Don't forget, with all of these, your mileage may vary for any variation of reasons, so don't worry if you can't take all of even any of these actions! Even just talking about them with other people may inspire someone else to put out a bat box, or leave a few logs out for wildlife!
That's the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about ways to get seeds and plants as cheaply as possible. For now, I hope this advice helps! Feel free to reply with any questions, success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!
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kbwrites · 6 months ago
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Up In the Clouds Ch.4
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synopsis: you're friends arguing reaches a breaking point... for you. what will you do when you find out the real reason they've been fighting?
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⚝content: sugusato x f!reader, sfw, satosugu arguing, but they're arguing over youuuu
⚝wc: 1.4k
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Suguru and Satoru always fought. From the year you’d known the duo, that much was obvious. Petty arguments and stupid disagreements were rampant in your trio. But, at the end of the day—usually forced by you—they would make up. Today, however, there was a disquieting air around them, an unfamiliar tension that gnawed at your peace of mind.
You three were in the courtyard for lunch, a place usually filled with the sounds of your laughter. You and Suguru ate bentos while Satoru dug into a sugary donut.
But something was... different.
No annoying quips from Satoru.
No heavy sighs from Suguru.
Just complete and utter… silence.
The courtyard, bathed in the soft afternoon light, felt oddly still. The rustling of leaves and distant chatter of other students did nothing to alleviate the growing unease. You shifted in your seat, the silence pressing down on you like a weight.
“Did Yaga yell at you two or something?”
Suguru glanced up, his hazelnut-colored eyes narrowing as he finally spoke. “No… it’s not that.”
Satoru  scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically behind his dark sunglasses. “Yaga yelling would be wayy easier to deal with than Mr. Perfect.”
The raven-haired teen’s jaw clenched. “Oh, I’m Mr. Perfect now? That’s rich coming from someone who thinks they know everything,  Satoru.”
“At least I don’t try to control every little thing” Satoru shot back, his words muffled by the mouthful of donut. ”Not everything has to be done your way, Suguru.”
“Maybe if you used your head a bit more, we wouldn’t end up in half the messes we do,” Suguru retorted, his tone icy.
You sighed, feeling like a mediator between two stubborn children.
“Guys, seriously, what’s going on? This is ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous is Suguru thinking he can tell me what to do.” Satoru snapped, his voice tinged with frustration.
Finally, you’d had enough. The frustration and tension had reached a breaking point. Without saying a word, you stood up, grabbed your lunch, and turned to leave. The soft thud of your bento box as you placed it into your bag seemed to echo in the silence that followed.
Satoru’s blue eyes widened as he noticed you standing. “Wait, where are you going?”
Suguru’s head snapped towards you, his expression a mix of surprise and concern. “What—?”
But you were already walking away, your footsteps brisk and determined.
“Great, just great! Now ya made her leave because you’re too scared to tell her the truth!”
Suguru’s face flushed with anger. “Me? You’re the one who turned this into a contest and made it impossible for me to even tell her how I feel!”
Satoru shot a glare at his best friend, his voice laced with bitter irritation.
 “Well… I don’t care!”
A week. Seven long days without your best friends. They avoided each other entirely, which was pretty hard to do considering how small the school was.
The hallways almost fell deafening silent without the pair’s obnoxious laughter echoing through. According to Nanami it was “The best week of my life”.  But for you, it was a slow descent into madness. The absence of your two best guys, who were always there to bug you and share in the chaos, was unbearable.
Hell, even Yaga was starting to get worried.
Shoko wasn’t much help. Completely jaded by the routine of arguments and breakups between the second years, she shrugged off the situation with a nonchalant wave of her hand. “They’ll make up… eventually.”
You were never one to just sit back and let situations play out. So you whipped out your phone to set your plan in motion.
✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬✧ ▬▭▬
(Y/N)                                          (Y/N) Hey, movie tn? My place.    Movie night 2nite? Sugu                                          Toru Sounds great. I’ll bring the movie.     Heading 2 the store!    You sigh in relief. They WERE going to make up today, whether they liked it or not. Your phone buzzes again. Sugu                                         Toru Hey… just us right?                    Me n you right (Y/N)?                        (Y/N)                          Yep! Just us!
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You prepared your dorm, fluffing out the pillows, grabbing your softest blankets. Hiding any sharp objects. The soft glow from the tv and your fairy lights set a cozy atmosphere. You only hoped that it would help soften the tension between them.
Knock Knock
Your ears perk up at the noise, you stood up, smoothing your clothes as if they could somehow help soothe the growing knot of anxiety in your stomach. As you opened the door you saw Suguru, leaned casually against the doorframe, his raven hair falling in soft waves around his face. His kind eyes tinged with nervousness.
“Hey Suguru!” Your voice warm as you greet him, stepping aside to let the taller boy in. He settled into his favorite spot, grabbing the blanket he’d left here one too many times. You settled next to him as he pulled out four DVDs showing you the selection.
“I haven’t seen any of these yet actually.” He says looking at you.
As you both discussed the movies, you heard another knock at the door. You quickly stood up, hoping Suguru wouldn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. 
“Hmm? Shoko Coming?”
“Not… exactly.” You laugh nervously as your hand slowly reaches for the doorknob. As the door inches open you see Satoru, his white hair slightly damp from his (never-ever missed 8pm Shower). He greets you with a smile, striding into dorm. Immediate irritation flashed across his face when he made eye contact with Suguru.
Their eyes narrow at each other, then at you.
“What’s HE doing here?”
You place your hands on your hips; side-eyeing Satoru to sit down. He begrudgingly takes a seat next to the raven-haired teen, pouting.
“We are watching a movie. And you’re both staying.” Your normally soft voice, firm as you glare at the two older teens.
They both shoot each other glares before sighing. You had won… for now. You took your place, right in between them.
You tried your hardest to just watch the movie, but it was so boring. Usually Suguru picked out pretty decent movies, but this documentary was NOT a decent movie. You stole glances at your friends; if you weren’t so pissed off at them you would’ve been blushing at the prospect of being sat between two attractive guys. 
Their close proximity made your heart race. You could feel the heat radiating from their bodies, and every small movement seemed amplified in the quiet room. Your hand reached into the popcorn bucket. As the pair saw your hand go in they both reached in with you, hoping to touch you.
Both flinching as their hands brushed each other’s instead of yours. They shot each other a glare before turning their attention back to the TV. A minute passes before Satoru speaks.
“I could’ve picked a better movie with my eyes closed.” The white-haired teen mumbles, shoving popcorn into his mouth.
“Just watch the movie, Satoru.”  Suguru replied with an exasperated groan, though his eyes never left the screen.
“This shit is gonna bore me to death.”
“That isn’t such a bad idea—”
You sigh heavily, grabbing the remote to pause the movie. You stand up, looking down at the two sorcerers.
“Alright. What the hell’s going on with you two?” You demanded
They both looked away, avoiding eye contact. Satoru crossed his arms, pouting even more, while Suguru ran his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.
You tap your foot, glaring down expectantly.
Suguru glanced at Satoru, their eyes meeting in a brief, intense exchange. Satoru’s nod was almost imperceptible, but Suguru seemed to take it as a cue. He drew a shaky breath, his voice barely above a whisper.
“(Y/N)...”
“We’ve been acting like this because, well..”
“We’re both...” Satoru continued.
“In love with you.” Suguru finished, his voice barely above a whisper.
You blinked, stunned by the confession. The room felt suffocating, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. You stared at them, trying to process their words. Your breath hitched, struggling to keep up with the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. It felt like a storm was raging within the confines of the small room, each thunderous heartbeat echoing off the walls.
“You’re… what?” you finally managed to say, your voice trembling.
Satoru stood up, his piercing blue eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that left you breathless.  “We’re in love with you, (Y/N). Both of us.”
Suguru’s nod was slow, almost hesitant. 
 “And it’s tearing us apart.”
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taglist: @4evahevah @angelofdarkness2 @iangeeluv
@isishsoskdjsk @yunho-leeknow @starriesworlds @hiblue123158 @n3ptoonie
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pedrospatch · 9 months ago
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a safe haven l ten
Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader
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series masterlist
summary: After a long night, Joel and Ellie take you home.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (TW) THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF AN INJURY SUSTAINED FROM AN ACT OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, PREGNANCY, CONVERSATIONS SURROUNDING PREGNANCY LOSS . PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. Ellie and reader are very close to each other, Joel deals with feelings of guilt, Joel and Maria make nice, Joel gives reader a bath and washes her hair, food consumption (i am just gonna apologize to my lactose intolerant folks right now, trust me i must pretend with you), both reader and Joel have some big feelings, reader mentions her deceased father, angst, soft and domestic Joel, fluff.
word count: 5k
a/n: i have not updated this series since october. :l i feel a a mixed bag of emotions updating after all this time, but most of all, i am grateful to know there are a couple of people out there who are still invested in this story. to anyone who has been waiting: truly, it means the world that you have shown me patience, support, and kindness. believe me, i am going to be seeing this story to the end, and it is all thanks to those who continue to show this lil story of mine a whole lotta love. special shoutout to the loveliest human @mrsmando who made me this beautiful mooodboard every single time i got stuck during this chapter, i looked at it and it gave me the boost of inspiration i needed. thank you mimi <33 this chapter is fairly tame, the next chapter is already in the works, and there are a couple of time jumps coming. overall, we are down to the last handful of chapters. let’s finish this story and give these two the ending they deserve, shall we?
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“What the hell is taking Tommy so fucking long?” Ellie whines. She’s sprawled out on the couch with her head in your lap, and her arm draped over her eyes. Her feet are hanging, dangling over the edge of the couch at an odd angle after you’d warned her not to get muck from her sneakers on the linen fabric. Despite Joel insisting over and over that she head on back to the house, she had stubbornly refused, not wanting to leave your side. “It’s been over two hours! He’s taking fucking forever, man. What’s the fucking hold up?”
Joel bites back a sigh, masking his own impatience. Or at least, he tries. He’s grown just as restless as the kid, if not more. Much like Ellie, he’s desperate. He’s itching to take you home already, almost too anxious to watch you take that first step over his threshold, and into your new life with him and with Ellie. He aches, aches, to get you settled into the place where you would be spending the remainder of your days with one another, where you would be safe, and loved in the way you deserved to be loved—the place where he would cherish and adore you until his final breath.
“Don’t know,” he answers, his voice sounding rougher, more gruff than usual. Reaching up, he scrubs his hand down the side of his face, adding tiredly, “He might be a while longer, kiddo. It could be another hour, could be more. Like I already told you, s’probably best if you just go on and head back to the house without us, alright?”
“No. I’m not walking out that fucking door unless she’s with me.” She pauses and pulls her arm away from her face for a moment, just long enough to throw a teeny glare his way. “Unless you’re both with me. The three of us go home together, or it’s no fucking deal. Got it?”
He shakes his head in utter exasperation.
“Ellie, we’ll be right here down the fuckin’ road—”
Her hand shoots out and she flips him off.
Just when he’s about to chastise her, he stops himself, clamping his mouth shut. It’s pointless.
Kid’s too goddamn hard headed for her own good, and Joel knows he’s just wasting his breath with her.
“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” you reassure them both, weaving your fingers through her hair to scratch at her scalp in an effort to soothe her. “Right, Joel?”
He meets your exhausted, worn down gaze from where he’s standing across the room, and his heart lurches in his chest. As the guilt begins creeping in, he’s forced to look away. He can’t imagine the living hell you had been through over the last twenty four hours alone. And the worst part about it was the realization that last night, while he was fast asleep in bed just a couple of houses up the road, that fucking bastard had his belt wrapped around your throat.
Joel feels sick to his fucking stomach all over again.
Horrifying, vividly real images of you helplessly trapped underneath Luke scratching and clawing at the leather around your neck with trembling fingers, struggling to breathe oxygen into your burning lungs as he tugged it tighter and tighter through the buckle flash in his mind, a gruesome nightmare turned into reality.
Exactly how far had Luke taken it?
Until you had grown too weak to keep fighting?
Until you almost lost complete consciousness?
Until he noticed the life threatening to leave your eyes?
Is that when he had finally stopped pulling on the belt?
Joel shudders, a bitter taste climbing up his throat as it sinks in. He could have lost you—and his unborn child.
This shouldn’t have happened.
He shouldn’t have let you walk away that night.
This wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t let you walk away from him that night.
“Joel,” you say his name, quiet and weary.
His head snaps back in your direction and he glances at you, almost missing the subtle shake of your head. It is a silent warning telling him not to go there, though you know by the tight clench of his jaw it’s too late for that.
Joel makes the futile attempt to hide it, but he sees it written all over your face—you know what he’s thinking because you know him like the back of your own hand, and you just know he’s placing all of the blame for what happened to you on his own shoulders.
But can you honestly fault him for that?
How can you expect him not to feel like he is somehow responsible for this? Just how the hell is he supposed to make himself believe he hadn’t failed you?
Joel promised—he had fucking promised you—that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you. He had sworn to keep you safe, made a vow to protect you from Luke, but here you are, your soft, delicate flesh marred with the painful evidence of yet another one of his failures.
And it was all because he had let you walk away on that fucking night.
He should have done something.
Even if it meant running the risk of you never speaking to him again—even if you never forgave him, spent the rest of your life angry and hating him for going against your wishes. He should have something.
“Joel—”
“Be right back,” he mutters, lightly shaking his head.
Shoving away from the doorframe he’s leaning against, Joel pivots on the heel of his boot and starts down the hallway. He walks into the kitchen where he finds Maria standing at the counter, tapping her fingers against the smooth, laminated oakwood as she waits for the coffee she’d offered him a few minutes ago to finish brewing. She’d offered to whip up a quick supper, but food was the last thing on everyone’s mind.
“Tommy’s been gone for a couple hours now. Girls are startin’ to get real tired of just sittin’ around waitin’ for him to come back,” he tells her, exhaling the sigh he’d held back in the living room. “What do you think could be keepin’ him so long?”
With her back still to him, Maria reminds him, “Well, he did mention he was going to round up the council and get them together for an emergency meeting.” She lets out a sigh that matches his own—it’s been a long night for her, too. When the last drop of dark roast drips into the glass pot, she carefully takes the pot by the plastic handle and pours the steaming coffee into a speckled, white and blue ceramic mug. “Do you take it with milk and sugar?”
“No thanks, that’s alright,” he declines as politely as he can.
“I also have cinnamon if you’d like?”
“Plain black’s just fine.” He gives her a nod of gratitude when she hands it to him. “Thank you. And I don’t just mean the coffee, but for, uh—for bandagin’ up my hand for me, too.” He clocks the brief look of surprise on her face and almost laughs. He doesn’t blame her for being taken aback, because truth be told, so is he. Since he’d met Maria, he had known she didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. There was something of a mutual understanding between them, a silent agreement they had made to keep each other at arm’s length, to only interact when it was absolutely necessary.
Never did he think he would be standing in her kitchen, thanking her for patching up his hand, and for making him a cup of coffee out of the kindness of her heart.
His brother wouldn’t believe it.
“Don’t mention it.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans back against the counter. “How’s it feel, by the way?”
“S’fine,” he replies, shrugging. “Nothin’ I can’t handle.”
There’s a momentary silence. A taste of tension lingers over their heads, and he knows at one point or another, he’s going to have to address the affair, the very reason everything had unfolded in such a terrible manner.
Guess now’s as good a time as fuckin’ any, he thinks to himself with an inward sigh.
Joel lightly clears his throat. “Listen, since we’ve got a minute alone, just the two of us, I was wonderin’ if, uh—if we could talk ‘bout somethin’? If that’s alright?”
“Of course.” Maria gives him the floor.
“I know that she—” Pausing, he shuffles from the heel of one boot to the other, his ears burning hot. He had known it wouldn’t be an easy conversation to have, but he underestimated just how uncomfortable it would be, regardless of what she already knew. “I know she told you and Tommy all ‘bout us, and ‘bout our relationship. See, the thing is, the first time I saw her—”
Again, Joel stops, the burning sensation now radiating, spreading from his ears to his face and down his neck, flushing his skin a deep, deep shade of pink. Unable to meet his sister in law’s gaze, he glances down into his mug, as if he will somehow find the right words to say somewhere in the depths of his coffee.
“It was never my intention, y’know,” he finally says after a minute. “Goin’ after a married woman. I swear, I never meant to fall for her. I just fuckin’ did. I think I might’ve fallen for her long before I even met her,” he confesses. He feels himself darken to a shade of maroon under her curious stare. “And somehow, for reasons I ain’t all too sure I’ll ever understand, she fell for me too.”
Maria raises an eyebrow at him. “Look, I’m not judging you, Joel,” she assures him, shaking her head. “If that’s what you’re thinking. I’m not judging her, either.”
He looks up at her, blurting out, “You’re not?”
She moves her hands to cradle her swollen middle. “Do I wish you two had handled everything differently?” she answers her own query with a nod of her head. “Oh, I’m sure we all do. But I’ve known her for a long time now. I know the kind of woman she is. And I’m starting to see the kind of man you are.”
“And what kinda man is that, Maria?”
He waits without the slightest clue as to what she could possibly say.
“Since you came back to Jackson, I’ve chosen to keep my distance from you—but make no mistake, I’ve been watching you like a hawk since day one. Waiting for any signs of trouble. Waiting for you to fuck up. Waiting for you to give me a good reason to throw your ass out of this community because I didn’t trust you. Not after all the things I was told about you.”
He snorts. “You goin’ somewhere with this?”
“You are not who I thought you were,” Maria admits, smiling wryly. “I’ve gotten to see a different side of you. You pull your weight around here by doing your job and doing it well. You stay out of trouble—for the most part. And more importantly, I have seen the way that you’ve stepped up to be a father figure to Ellie. It takes a good man to do that, Joel.”
“Think that’s the nicest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever said to me,” he muses, setting his mug down on the counter. “I stepped up because I love her. I love them both. Those two, they’re the best parts of me. They’re the reasons I keep goin’ and now I’ve got another reason on the way.”
Maria smiles, but it vanishes as quickly as it appears.
Catching her hesitance, Joel asks, “What? What is it?”
“What comes next is not going to be easy,” she warns him, lowering her voice. Even with the living room a fair distance from the kitchen, she doesn’t want to run the risk of you overhearing her. “For as hard as we’re going to try to contain the fire, it will spread, and everyone in this town will find out about everything—including the affair. People are going to talk, and believe me, they’re going to have a whole lot to say about it, Joel.”
He can’t help but roll his eyes at her.
“Think I can handle some fuckin’ gossip, Maria.”
“I know you can. But I’m not sure if she can,” Maria tells him, quietly. “It worries me. She’s been through a lot in just one night alone. I don’t want her stressing anymore than she already has. She is in a very delicate stage of her pregnancy right now, Joel. If she’s not careful, she could have a miscarriage. She had one about two years ago when her father became sick—” Observing his lack of a reaction, she realizes, “You knew that already.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. He knows where she’s going with this. “I did. She told me ‘bout it.”
“It makes her chances of having another one higher—”
Joel doesn’t even allow himself to think of it happening to you again. “I get it,” he interjects, trying not to sound too curt. “I’ll make sure she takes it real easy, alright?”
Lifting a hand off her belly, she reaches out and takes a hold of his forearm, gripping it tightly.
“Promise me something, Joel. Promise me that you’ll look after her,” Maria pleads him, gently. “Please. After everything she’s been through—I need you to promise me that she’s going to be in good hands with you.”
He nods. Without thinking, he places his hand over hers in an unexpected token of affection and reassurance. “You have my word, Maria. I’ll take good care of her.”
She gives his arm a grateful squeeze, then glances over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting pretty late. We don’t know how much longer Tommy’s going to be with the council. Why don’t we just go ahead and call it a night?” she suggests. “We can all get together first thing in the morning at your place to talk about it.”
“Yeah, good idea,” he agrees. “She really needs to rest.”
Maria gives his arm another squeeze. 
“Go on then, Joel. Take your girls home.”
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“Finally!” Ellie exclaims with a dramatic flail of her arms as she shoves through the front door.
“Alright, kiddo. Get your behind upstairs and into the shower,” Joel instructs her, flipping on the lights in the foyer. “Y’smell like fuckin’ horse shit.”
She lifts the collar of her shirt to her nose, takes a whiff, and makes a face. “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there,” she mutters. She toes off her dirty sneakers and leaves them beside the door before dashing up the staircase, taking two steps at a time.
He shouts after her, “And don’t use up all the hot—”
“Yeah, yeah, I fucking know the rules, dude!”
Moments later, you both hear the shower going.
“Little shit,” he grumbles.
You exhale an amused huff through your nose.
Joel withdraws his arm from around your shoulders and reaches for your hand, lacing your fingers together. “C’mon, darlin’.” He guides you up the stairs and down the hallway into his bedroom where he switches on the light before proceeding to lead you over to his dresser. “I’ve got a bunch of shirts in this top drawer here,” he says. Dropping your hand, he pulls it open for you and gestures to it with a jut of his chin as he takes a step backwards, moving out of the way. “Go ahead and pick one to sleep in tonight. Want you to be comfortable, so help yourself to whichever one you want, sweet girl.”
Nodding, you begin to rummage through the drawer, unaware of the moment he slips away. You reach for a t-shirt, but then a plaid green flannel catches your eye. You pluck it from the drawer, running your fingers over the soft, warm fabric. “Is it alright if I wear—?” You turn around, stopping mid sentence when you realize he’s no longer standing behind you. Puzzled, you follow the sound of running water into the bathroom where you find him kneeling beside the tub. “Joel? What are you doing?”
“Runnin’ you a bath.”
You notice the bloodied bandage beside him on the tile floor. “Joel, are you serious?” you scold him. “Maria just patched your hand up for you.”
“S’okay, peach. I can rewrap it when we’re done.” Joel sticks his injured hand under the faucet to check the temperature, the cold water soothing his cuts. Once it turns warm, then hot, he pulls out his hand, waiting for the tub to fill halfway before shutting the faucet off and rising to his feet. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his forearms, then beckons for you with both of his hands. “Let’s get you washed up.”
You remain standing by the door. “Joel, you don’t have to do this for me.”
“I know.”
“I’m capable of washing myself—”
“Yeah, I know that too,” he says, chuckling. “S’only fair, darlin’. Don’t you think?”
That’s when it hits you—how this moment is mirroring that night you had cleaned Joel up after you and Ellie had brought him home from the clinic with an injured shoulder. He allowed you to take care of him, and now, he was looking to do the same for you. And all you had to do was let him.
“But your hand—”
“Will be just fine,” Joel persists, stubbornly. “It’s nothin’ but a few cuts and scrapes. C’mon—or else I’m gonna march right over there and get you myself, peach.”
Knowing Joel, you certainly wouldn’t put it past him to throw you over his should and carry you to the bathtub.
“Fine,” you relent with a small sigh of defeat.
Setting his shirt down on the sink, you slowly walk over towards him and whirl around, letting him help you out of your knitted cardigan. You finish undressing yourself, inhaling a deep breath as you muster up the courage to turn back around and face him—when you finally do, it feels like a punch to the gut to see the heartbreak in his dark brown eyes, the subtle tremble of his bottom lip. You don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror to know it looks about a hundred times worse when you’re not wearing clothes.
Keeping your arms down at your sides, you fight every urge to cover yourself up. You’ve never felt so fucking vulnerable.
Clearing his throat, Joel holds out his hand. “C’mere.”
You accept it, and he helps you into the tub.
“How’s the water? S’not too hot, is it?”
You shake your head and he leans forward, kissing your temple so sweetly, your eyes flutter closed.
He washes your hair first, then takes a clean washcloth, lathering it up with a bar of milk and honey soap—the same soap he would smell on your skin all those nights. Admittedly, Joel preferred castile soap, but switched it when he found himself missing you during those weeks you were apart from him, when he needed the comfort of your scent. He is gentle with you, so gentle, as if he’s afraid you’ll shatter into pieces in his hands.
As he lightly drags the washcloth up your back and around your neck, you stiffen, prompting him to freeze too. “Fuck. Baby, did I hurt you?” he asks, and you hear the slight panic in his tone.
“No,” you say quickly, desperately trying to swallow the lump rising in your throat. “No, you didn’t hurt me. It’s just—” Every overwhelming emotion slams into you all at once, and you can’t seem to figure out which one to feel first. Humiliation? Fear? Relief?
The water sloshes around you as you pull your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms around your knees, giving yourself permission to feel them all. Bowing your head, you begin to sob quietly, hoping that Ellie, who is just down the hallway, won’t hear you crying again.
Joel says nothing. Washcloth still clutched in his hand, he leans forward over the edge of the tub and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, or at least, as close as the barrier between the two of you will allow him.
“Joel,” you choke, trying to push him off. “Stop it. Your clothes, they’re getting all wet.”
“Hush. Don’t fuckin’ care ‘bout my clothes,” he croaks, and for a second, you swear he’s about to cry too. But he doesn’t. He holds himself strong. Tugging you closer against his chest, he buries his nose into your soaking wet hair, whispering his reassurance. “You’re okay, baby. You’re safe, my sweet girl. I’ve got you, alright?”
He pulls back slightly, dipping his hand into the water, placing it on your lower belly.
You look down, your eyes glazing over his bruised and battered knuckles. Proof that Joel Miller really would do anything for you.
“I know you do,” you say, softly. “I know you’ve got me, Joel.”
A while later, you’re dried, dressed, and composed. You follow Joel out of the bathroom and back into his room, where he has you take a seat on the bed. Noticing you had missed a button on his flannel shirt, he does it for you. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and says, “Give me a minute while I change.”
He peels off his wet clothes, being careful so as not to further agitate his sore, injured hand. After changing into a pair of gray sweatpants and an old, faded black t-shirt, he turns around only to find you’re sitting in bed underneath the covers.
“Sorry,” you apologize with a nervous chuckle as you rest your back against the headboard. “It just looked so warm and cozy—and it smells like you. I couldn’t resist making myself comfortable.”
Joel pads over to the side of the bed. He leans over, planting one hand on either side of you as he dips his head and brushes his lips against yours. “Ain’t got no reason to apologize, baby,” he assures you in a gentle murmur. “This is your bed now too, peach. This is your room. This is your home. Alright?”
Home.
You’re home.
He touches the tip of his nose to yours, and then draws himself back up to full height. “There’s somethin’ that I’ve gotta take care of downstairs, peach. I won’t be too long,” he promises.
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It’s almost midnight. Joel goes about the kitchen and he prepares you the quickest meal that he can think of. He plates the sandwich he’d thrown together and pours a glass of cow’s milk—he’s always sure to keep a pint of it in the refrigerator to make the kid her oatmeal in the mornings.
He heads back upstairs, only to find that while he had been gone, Ellie had joined you, making herself a little too comfortable on his side of the bed. He stands there at the door, watching the two of you.
“Hey, so is it true babies can hear stuff while they’re in there?” Ellie questions you, curiously.
“Mhm,” you reply with a nod. “They can hear music, for example. Voices—”
“Voices?” She smushes her face into your stomach and he hears a muffled, “Hey, dude!”
You giggle. “Ellie, I think it’s still a little too early.”
“When do you think it’ll be able to hear me?”
“I’m not too sure. In a few months, maybe?”
Ellie lifts her head, humming. “You know, I bet there’s baby books in the library,” she tells you as she sits up. “I’ll have Dina help me look for one tommor—oh shit.” She stares at you with wide eyes. “Dina! How are you going to tell her and Talia about Luke?”
Joel grimaces. He hadn’t thought of that, either.
“I—I’m not too sure.”
“You have to fucking tell them. Dina has to know about him. She has to know what a piece of shit he is, and so does Talia.”
Sensing your discomfort, Joel steps into the bedroom and intervenes before she can say another word. “Ellie, get to bed. S’late.”
“But—”
“Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns her, sternly.
She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She climbs off the bed and on her way out, she eyes the plate in his hand. “That chicken?”
“Turkey. And it ain’t for you, it’s for her. So scram, kid.”
“Couldn’t have made me one while you were at it, old man?”
“Ellie, if you don’t get outta here right now—”
“Alright!” Ellie holds her hands up. “I’m leaving. Jesus.”
She disappears, closing the door behind her.
“Pain in my ass,” Joel mumbles, shaking his head as he walks over and carefully perches himself beside you. He hands you the plate. “Here, darlin’.”
“Joel, I appreciate this, but I’m really not very hungry.”
“Maybe not, but y’gotta eat,” he insists. “Baby needs it.”
Thankfully, you accept it without further protest.
“I’ll have Ellie get your things tomorrow,” Joel states as you’re eating. “Maria can go along with her since she knows the house. They’ll get your clothes and whatever else you might need outta there.”
“My father’s belongings.” You accidentally talk through a mouthful of turkey and bread. Swallowing, you tell him, “I have some boxes of his stuff in the basement. But they’re way too heavy for either of them to carry.”
“I’ll take care of that for you.” He reaches up, wiping a breadcrumb from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “I can ask Tommy to give me a hand. Don’t you worry, peach. We won’t leave your dad’s things behind, I swear it.”
Relieved, you shoot him a grateful look, then polish off the last few bites of your sandwich.
“Here,” he says, offering you the glass of milk. “Figured it’s good for you, and good for the baby. Y’know, since it’s got calcium and…stuff.” He shrugs sheepishly, no clue as to what he’s talking about. “Vitamins, right?”
Nodding, you grab the glass and take a reluctant sip.
“You hate milk,” Joel realizes, raising an eyebrow.
“I do,” you admit with a laugh. “But you’re right. It’s good for both me and the baby, so cheers.” And with that, you somehow force the entire glass down.
He sets the dishes aside on the nightstand, figuring he can take them downstairs first thing in the morning.
Without bothering to rebandage his hand like he’d told you he would, Joel turns off the lights and climbs into bed with you. “All those nights wishin’ I could bring you home,” he muses as you curl into his side. “Wantin’ nothin’ more than to hold you in my arms in this bed. In our bed.” His arm slips around your shoulders, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “Almost doesn’t feel real, darlin’.”
Tilting your head, you nuzzle your nose into the scruff of his beard, prompting him to laugh again. Then, he remembers his conversation with Maria, and his smile fades from his face, his lips pursing together.
You catch the sudden shift in his demeanor.
“Joel? What’s the matter?”
“M’fine, baby. It’s just—” He hesitates. “From this point forward, I need you to let me handle things.”
“What do you mean?���
“I don’t want you gettin’ all stressed out, alright? I don’t want to run the risk of you—” He’s unsure of how to say it.
“Of me losing the baby,” you finish for him, quietly.
Joel winces, knowing he was wandering into sensitive territory. “Yeah. I—I really don’t want that to happen.” He pauses. “Maria mentioned to me you’re in a delicate stage. When do you reckon you’ll stop—how long until you don’t gotta worry ‘bout it?”
“After twelve weeks, my risk isn’t as high. If I make it to the second trimester in six weeks, then my chances of having another miscarriage are lower.”
Though you speak calmly, he clocks your anxiousness.
You’re worried, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t fucking worried out of his mind too.
Being a father at his age wasn’t ideal, but he wanted this child. It was part of him, and more importantly, it was a part of you.
Joel squeezes your shoulders. “I only ask ‘cause I was thinkin’ that, y’know, once we get to that point, maybe I can go ahead and start buildin’ the baby’s crib.”
“You’re going to build the crib?”
He nods. “And the highchair too. I can even make you a diaper changin’ table if y’want one.”
“Joel.” You can’t help but chuckle. “Our worlds were just turned completely upside down. You just found out that I’m pregnant, and you’re already thinking about building furniture? Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves?”
“Hey, those things take a whole ‘lotta time,” he says in defense of himself. “Besides, winter’s right around the corner and I don’t wanna be out in the garage freezin’ my fuckin’ ass off. If I can get a head start now, I can have them all done in the spring by the time the baby comes.”
You fall silent.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I’m really scared of losing it,” you confess. “When I first took that pregnancy test, I wanted nothing more for it to be negative. Now, I’m terrified I won’t make it past my first trimester again. I really don’t want to lose it. I want this baby, Joel.”
He turns his head, meeting your eyes in the silver light shining through the lace curtains over his window. “S’why you’ve gotta let me handle things, darlin’. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“C’mere, my sweet girl.” Joel presses his lips to yours, murmuring against them, “I love you.”
His declaration comes with natural ease.
And so does yours.
“I love you too, Joel.”
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w4ndal0ver · 2 months ago
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wrapped in ribbon (sub!agatha x reader)
W4NDALOVER'S KINKMAS | 2024
dec 5: wrapped in ribbon (sub!agatha x reader)
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
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⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
KINKMAS MASTERLIST | 2024
summary: When Agatha is struggling to wrap christmas presents, you decide to help her ease up a little, much to her defiance.
warnings: 18+, SMUT MDNI, desperate begging agatha, bondage, denial, vibrator use
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wrapped in ribbon
Your bedroom was full of festive cheer, bathed in the soft glow of fairy lights strung around the bedframe and across the windows. A small, tabletop Christmas tree sat on the dresser, its tiny glass ornaments catching the golden light and casting delicate reflections on the walls. The air was warm, carrying the faint scent of cinnamon and pine, but the atmosphere was anything but peaceful. 
Agatha sat cross-legged on the floor amidst a sea of wrapping paper, ribbons, and tape dispensers. Half-wrapped presents were scattered around her, some with lopsided folds, others abandoned entirely. Her brows were furrowed, lips pressed into a tight line as she wrestled with a particularly stubborn roll of wrapping paper that refused to stay put. 
“Damn it!” She snapped as the tape slipped out of her grasp again, the paper springing open like it was mocking her. She shoved it aside with a huff, reaching for another box, only for it to knock over a spool of ribbon. 
You watch her in amusement, leaning casually against the doorway, a mug of hot chocolate cradled in your hands. “You know,” You say, your voice warm and teasing, “Most people would’ve given up and chucked them in a gift bag by now.”
Agatha turns and glares up at you, her eyes dark enough to draw blood, but cheeks flushed from a mix of frustration and embarrassment. “I don’t do gift bags,” She shot back, emphasising the words like they were beneath her, “It’s lazy.”
You raise your eyebrow at her, taking a slow sip of your drink, “It’s practical.”
“Well, I’m not practical.” She retorted, fumbling with another piece of tape, her hands were trembling slightly, her movements jerky and uncoordinated. 
You cross the room, setting the mug down on the nightstand before kneeling beside her. She was always so much cuter than she was trying to be when she got like this, but you knew exactly what she needed. “It’s just wrapping paper, it doesn’t have to be perfect.” You say softly, reaching out to still her shaking hands. 
Agatha pulls her hands away, her jaw tightening in the exact way that you knew it would, “It does to me,” She snapped, not meeting their eyes, “I just- I want it to look nice, Is that so hard to understand?”
You tilt your head, studying her, “Of course it’s not.” You say, your voice not once leaving the same gentle tone you always used with her, “Maybe it's time to take a break.” You wink, observantly noticing how in the mix of her frustration, her hips were squirming against the floor as you went to still her hands once more. 
“Look, I don't need a break.” Agatha bit out, grabbing for the ribbon spool, but the ribbon slipped from her fingers, unraveling in a messy tangle on the floor. She let out a frustrated groan, her fingers digging into her tights as if she could anchor herself against the rising tide of emotions. 
You chuckle softly at her frustration, a sound that would only irritate Agatha further as you kneel down on the floor beside her, reaching for the bundled ribbon, threading it between your fingers with an easy confidence that made your girlfriend scowl. 
“What are you doing?” She asked, narrowing her eyes up at you. 
You don’t answer right away, instead looping the ribbon around your hands, testing its give. You turn your attention back to Agatha with a mischievous glint in your eyes. 
Agatha scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “Look if you’re not going to help, you can leave.”
“Oh, I’m helping,” You murmur, your voice dropping just enough to make Agatha pause. You reach for her wrist before she could pull away, gently wrapping the ribbon around it in a loose loop, tying it in a small bow, “See? All about the presentation.”
Agatha’s breath hitched, her bravado faltering for just a moment before she yanked her hand back, “Don’t start.”
You smile, unbothered by her snapiness. You pick the ribbon again, this time threading it through Agatha’s fingers, “Start what? You’re the one who’s so particular about ribbons.” You smirk, “I’m just appreciating your craft.”
“You’re impossible,” Agatha muttered, but the low flush on her cheeks betrayed her. 
You leaned in, your voice low and teasing. “And you’re adorable when you’re trying so hard not to melt.”
Agatha’s lips parted, a retort on the tip of her tongue, but the words didn’t come. Your hand brushed hers, their fingers grazing the ribbon still tangled in her lap. The contact sent a jolt through her, her breath catching in her throat. 
“Careful,” You murmured, your gaze steady on hers. “Keep fighting me, and I might have to tie you up properly. Then we’ll see how much wrapping gets done.”
The tension in the room thickened, the air humming with unspoken challenge. Agatha’s fingers curled into fists, but her pulse was racing, her mind scrambling to maintain its hold on her usual dominance. “You’re not in charge here,” she said, though the words came out weaker than she intended.
You lean in closer, your voice a velvet whisper, “Not yet, darling. But we both know how this ends.”
Agatha looked away, her cheeks burning, her resolve cracking just enough for her to feel the shift. For now, she wouldn’t give in, but you could see the flicker in her eyes, the slow unravelling that promised she wouldn’t hold out for much longer. “Let me help you sweetheart.”
“I don’t need your help,” Agatha bit out, her voice sharp, but it wavered slightly. Her pride was standing strong, but you could see the crack forming beneath the surface.
You grinned, undeterred by her words, and reached down to gently lift the ribbon, teasing it between your fingers. “Mmm, sure you don’t,” you said, your tone dripping with mock sympathy. “But it sure looks like you do, sweetheart. You're getting a little flustered.”
Her eyes narrowed, the challenge in them unmistakable. “I’m not flustered,” she shot back, but the way her chest heaved told a different story. You leaned in just enough to feel the heat radiating off her skin.
“You’re really gonna keep pretending, huh?” you teased, your voice dropping lower. “You know, I find it adorable when you try so hard to keep control. But the more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get.”
Agatha huffed, trying to ignore the way her heart was racing. “I’m not fighting anything,” she said, but her words lacked the usual bite.
You could feel her trying to maintain the mask, but the tension in her body was so obvious it was almost painful. “Sure, babe. Keep telling yourself that,” you murmured, your fingers lightly grazing the edge of her wrists as you looped the ribbon around them. “But this?” You tugged the ribbon tight enough to hold her wrist in place, a clear, intentional pressure that made her stiffen. “This is me in control.”
Her breath hitched as you secured the knot, the ribbon now tight around her wrists. Agatha looked down at the small piece of ribbon, her pulse racing, her face flushed a deeper shade of red. “You’re ridiculous,” she muttered, more to herself than to you, but the quiver in her voice was unmistakable.
“Oh, I’m ridiculous?” you teased, leaning in so close that your lips brushed against her ear. “You’re the one still pretending like you don’t want me to do this.” Your voice was playful, almost mocking, but you could feel her body reacting to the challenge. You could see the way her lips parted slightly, her breath shallow as she tried to push against the tide of desire you were stirring in her.
Her eyes shot up to meet yours, but there was a vulnerability there now, hidden beneath layers of annoyance and pride. “I don’t need this,” she said, but the words felt like a last-ditch effort, more fragile than before.
You grinned. “No, you don’t. But you do need me. And you’re about to admit it, whether you want to or not.” You pulled at the ribbon just enough to make her feel it, the shift in her posture telling you everything you needed to know. 
She was quiet for a long moment, her jaw clenched, her breath uneven. And then, just as you were about to tease her again, you saw it, her shoulders dropped ever so slightly, the tension easing from her body. She wasn’t fully surrendering, but she was letting go.
You tug the ribbon again, pulling her forward just enough to make her lose her balance, and the desperate little whine that escapes her lips makes her cheeks flush a deeper shade of red. She’s trying to keep her composure, but the way her breath catches—how her wrists fall slack in front of her face—tells you she’s slipping. You can feel her resolve crumbling with each passing second.
Her body lowers to the floor, and she’s propped up on her elbows now, trying to steady herself. The shift in her posture is too tempting, and you kneel in front of her, letting your hands run along the length of the ribbon. You let your fingers trail over the delicate material as you speak, your voice low, teasing. “You look so pretty wrapped in ribbon.”
The words hang in the air, and you see her back arch slightly, her body responding to the praise, even though she’s trying so hard to resist. It’s like she can’t help it—the way her eyes flicker with that mixture of pride and need.
You give the ribbon another sharp tug, pulling her further down, and she stumbles slightly as she falls into the position you wanted.
“Look at you,” you murmur, savoring the moment as she shifts, now on her knees, bent just how you wanted her, eyes gazing up at you. Her face flushes deeper as she meets your smirking gaze, her lips slightly parted. She’s resisting the urge to give in, but you can see it in her eyes—the way they dart to your hands, the tension in her body, the anticipation building.
You can feel the shift in the air, the way the space between you crackles with energy. Agatha’s proud defiance is still there, but it's tinged with something else—something softer. She's aware of the way you're controlling every move, guiding her like a delicate dance.
You stand, your movements deliberate as you keep a firm grip on the ribbon, drawing it through your fingers like you’re handling something precious. “On the bed,” you command, your voice firm but dripping with teasing authority.
She hesitates for just a moment, her eyes flicking to the bed as if she’s deciding how far she’s willing to go. You tug the ribbon once more, pulling her closer to you, making it clear she has no choice. She lets out a frustrated sigh, but her body obeys, shifting slowly onto the bed. Her knees hit the soft surface, and you push her gently but firmly onto her back, her wrists still bound in the ribbon, stretched out in front of her.
“You’re so beautiful like this,” you murmur, admiring the way the ribbons curve around her, the way she looks so exposed yet utterly at your mercy. “But I think you could be even prettier, don’t you?”
Her eyes narrow, but the hint of a flush on her skin, the way she holds her breath as she looks up at you, shows she’s listening. She’s waiting for you to tell her what to do next, even though she won’t admit it yet. You take another piece of ribbon, reaching it around her neck and tightening it just slightly so she could feel it was there, but not enough to do anything. You tie it into a bow, separating out the two loops so they sat perfectly against her throat.
You move to sit on the edge of the bed, your fingers trailing the length of the ribbon that binds her. “Relax, Aggie. You’ve been so tense. Let me show you how good it feels to just let go.”
Her chest rises and falls rapidly, the heat between you undeniable. She’s still trying to fight it, but you can see her slipping more and more into your control with every passing second. The way her body tenses, then relaxes, the way she’s straining against the ribbon and your touch, she’s trying to hold back, but it's becoming clear that she’s losing.
You lean over her, your breath hot against her ear. “You’re mine tonight. All you have to do is let go.”
Her lips part, but no words come out. Instead, she bites down on her lip, eyes shut tightly as if to hold herself together. It’s a quiet surrender, the kind that tells you she’s giving herself over to you without fully saying the words.
You smile, a slow, satisfied smile. “Good girl,” you murmur, already knowing she’s closer to giving in than she’s willing to admit. With deliberate slowness, you place the end of the ribbon at the base of her throat, just above the neckline of her shirt, your gaze flicking between her eyes and the soft skin of her neck.
You lift her t-shirt above her head, her tied wrists coming with it, but you leave the top above her, forcing her wrists to remain firmly where you want them. You lean down to kiss her clothed nipple, her breasts covered in a scarlet lace bralette, the exact same colour as the ribbon that you were planning to wrap her in. You place gentle kisses against her skin, taking the time to glance up at Agatha’s blissed out face, her eyes shut, her tongue poking the inside of her cheek. 
You start to wind the ribbon around her body, letting it glide over her shoulders, watching the way her skin prickled at the touch. The sensation of the fabric against her skin is almost maddening for both of you. The ribbon glides down her torso in smooth, sensual loops, each turn binding her more and more, only in a way that makes her feel contained and on display. 
You take your time, savoring the way her body responds with each pass of the ribbon. The feel of it against her skin makes her breath hitch, her chest rising with each movement, eyes still locked on yours, trying to maintain her control, but you know she’s slipping.
You wrap the ribbon across her ribs, over the curve of her waist, and let it cross her hips in a way that leaves her exposed but secure. Each layer you add makes her feel more and more at your mercy, yet it’s a sensation she can’t help but surrender to. Her body tenses when the ribbon touches her skin, but the tightness of it is strangely comforting, almost grounding.
You unbuckle her trousers, pulling them from her legs. She lifts her hips up desperately to help you remove them and you smirk at her silent need. You can see the dampness of her underwear as her legs lie slightly spread apart. 
“Do you like this, Agatha?” you ask, your tone dripping with authority. “Do you like being on display for me? All wrapped up for me.” With the words, you lift your palm, the back of your hand brushing up against her soaked underwear.
Her eyes narrow slightly, the challenge still in her, but there's something in the way her chest rises and falls, something that betrays her. She stays quiet, her lips parted as if holding back the truth.
You step closer, your hand brushing against her bound torse, the ribbon gliding softly under your touch. “You know, I think you do. You’re so beautiful when you’re like this, exposed for me to see,” you continue, your voice like velvet, teasing her senses. “Every inch of you is just waiting to be touched, isn’t it.”
You watch her face closely, the flush creeping up her neck, the shift in her expression. It’s clear now, she’s struggling with it, but deep down, she craves it. “It’s okay to admit it, Agatha,” you murmur, leaning in closer, your lips almost brushing her ear. “You like being mine, don’t you?”
Agatha’s eyes narrow at your words, a spark of defiance still flickering behind the soft vulnerability in her gaze. She shifts slightly, trying to assert herself, but the ribbon keeps her in place, and her breath hitches just enough for you to notice.
"You're full of yourself, aren’t you?" she snaps, her voice slightly breathless, betraying the tension she’s trying to hold onto. "I’m not some toy for you to play with."
But her body tells a different story. The flush on her cheeks deepens, and her gaze flickers to the ribbon that binds her, then back up to you, the conflict clear in her eyes. She’s trying to hold onto her pride, trying to resist, but it’s becoming harder for her to maintain that facade.
“Okay sweetheart, if you’re going to be like that.” You smirk and her eyes snap open when she feels the weight of you lift from the bed and walk towards the bedside table, once your hands reach for the bottom drawer her breath hitches, her bound hips bucking up involuntarily. 
Once you find your wand vibrator, her whiney protests give enough away into how she was feeling. If she didn’t want to submit to you, even while the entire upper half of her body was wrapped delicately in ribbon, you’d make sure she wanted to after a while of relentless teasing. You decide not to say anything, instead grabbing more ribbon with your other hand. You place your wrists on her thighs just to feel her tremble, before slotting the still vibrator between her legs, pressing the head up against her clothed cunt, before enveloping her thighs around it. 
Holding her legs in place with one hand, the other wraps the ribbon around her thighs, keeping the vibrator in place as Agatha whines in desperation from the feeling of the toy against her clit, even before you’ve turned it on. You wrap her thighs up tightly, finishing the job with a bow all the way down at her ankles, the body completely contained and restrained. 
You step back, taking a slow, deliberate look at Agatha, admiring how she looks bound in the ribbon, her body exposed and vulnerable. The soft glow from the Christmas lights seems to accentuate the delicate curves of her figure, the ribbons hugging her body in just the right way. You take your time, savoring the sight of her, a quiet satisfaction settling in your chest.
"You look absolutely beautiful like this," you murmur, but it’s more to yourself than her. You step closer again, your presence filling the space around her, your fingers gently brushing over the edge of the ribbon. “Are you going to give in?” You ask for a final time, your fingers trailing lightly down her arm, feeling the way she stiffens under your touch. 
“No, I’m Not-” She clenches her jaw as her words falter upon delivery, her lips pressing ever tighter. As she speaks, her body is reacting, her legs trying to shift beneath the ribbon, her hips tilting just a little, a subtle surrender to the feeling of being completely bound. The faintest quiver runs through her as she shifts slightly, her breath hitching as if in anticipation, despite the resistance in her words. 
“You know, Agatha,” you murmur, voice laced with amusement, “your body doesn’t lie. It’s telling me everything.”
Her eyes dart away from you for a moment, frustration building, but she refuses to give in completely. “I’m not-” she begins, but the rest of the sentence gets lost in a quiet, almost imperceptible sigh. Her chest rises and falls a little faster, her body shivering slightly under the touch of the ribbon, betraying the words she can’t quite bring herself to say.
“Fine, have it your way.” With that, you reach for the vibrators switch, turning it on and Agatha’s body jolted with immense pleasure. Despite her resistance, Agatha was loud. Her moans were always pornographic and desperate. You knew she was sensitive, the countless times you’d teased and tortured her clit, she couldn’t take it without borderline screaming through closed lips. 
You sit back, watching her body writhe against the ribbons as her hips bucked against the vibrator, but she couldn’t get any extra friction with how tight you’d tied her up, the vibrator instead moved with her. She sounded so desperate, so pathetic, and her previous act was trembling at the same rate as the rest of her body. 
You reach down again, switching up the intensity of the vibrator, to which high pitched moans tumbled from Agatha’s lips. She tried to reach out of you, but her wrists remained firmly in place and you did nothing but laugh mockingly at her writhing body. You could tell she was close, individual moans now stringing into a continuous choir or desperation. Her hips were coming off the mattress, her body squirming into the duvet, but she was yet to try and make amends with you, so you did nothing. You knew she was desperate for you to show her some attention, but instead you just watched. 
As her whines and moans got higher and higher pitched, you knew she was right on the edge. “Don’t you dare come.” You say and her eyes shoot open, looking at you with pleading, desperate eyes, “Don’t give me that pathetic look now, you can take it, you’re in control remember.” You tease and smirk as she throws her head back in a desperate attempt to hold back her inevitable orgasm that would soon rush through her body. 
You watch Agatha closely, eyes narrowing with a playful challenge. She's already so close, her body trembling under your touch, the ribbon binding her more tightly, her chest rising and falling rapidly.
"You can do better than this, Agatha," you murmur, the words a gentle tease. "I know you can. Why fight it? You like this, don't you?"
Her head shakes slightly, her lips pressing together tightly. She doesn’t want to give in, not yet, not fully. But you can feel her slipping, each breath betraying her a little more.
"I'm not, I'm not some-" she starts, but her voice wavers, and you see the tremor in her hand, the way her body tenses beneath you.
"You’re not what?" you challenge softly. "A little toy? A good girl who does what she’s told?" You smile at the thought, and she flushes a deep red, her face a mix of frustration and need.
"Please," she whispers, her voice barely audible, her pride still intact but cracking. 
“But you’re getting close. You can beg for it, Agatha. I know you want to."
Her body trembles harder, and she lets out a sharp exhale. "I’m not begging," she spits out, but even as she says it, you know it’s only half true.
"You don’t have to say it," you murmur, a smirk on your lips. "I can feel it in your body. You’ll beg soon enough." With that, you turn the vibrator up to the highest setting and she shudders, her lips parting. She moans even more desperate that before and you can see that she’s not sure whether to keep fighting or to give in, but you know how close she is. 
"You’re close," you say, almost conversationally, running your fingers gently down her exposed skin. "I can tell. Just a little more, and you’ll finally say it."
Her jaw clenches, her eyes burning with a mix of defiance and something softer, something she can’t quite hide. "No," she grits out, shaking her head. "I won’t beg."
"But you’re already begging, Agatha," you tease, your fingers grazing her collarbone, feeling the rapid beat of her pulse. "I can see it in your eyes. The way your hips are bucked, your thighs are trembling sweetheart, you need to beg if you want to come.” 
You’re met with silence, her stubbornness is inspiring, her body hanging right on the edge and she still wouldn’t give in to you. You take the final move, pushing the end of the vibrator harder into her pussy and she whines, her body shaking. You start to rock the vibrator back and forth, the movement of the vibrations forcing Agatha to arch her back into the ecstatic feeling, but not allowing herself to spill over. 
You stand before her, watching her, waiting, your voice calm but firm as you speak. "You’re still holding on, aren’t you, Agatha? You’re still pretending you don’t want this."
“Please let me come, please I can’t, I need to come for you baby, plaese.” There it was, everything you wanted to hear and she said it with wide eyes and a pouty mouth, her neck straining against the pressure you were putting on her.  Her eyes flicker open again, vulnerability painted across her face. “Please, don’t make me wait anymore,” She begs, her voice thick with desire and desperation, “I’m yours.”
“Come for me Agatha.” You say, kissing the outside of her trembling thigh and she did. The wave of unbelievable pleasure forced its was through her bound body, her moans turned to screams as you helped her through it, one hand holding the vibrator in place, exactly where she needed you, the other making broad strokes down the sides of her legs. 
You switched off the vibrator, leaving it in place before you knew you had to untie the masterpiece that lay in front of you. Instead, you lean over to look right into her eyes, her face flushed, cheeks slick with sweat that dripped down the length of her neck. She looked ravenous, completely fucked out from withholding from her orgasm for so long. This was your favourite part, when she was completely submissive to you, no longer giving you snarky remarks. She was completely obedient in the aftershocks of her orgasm, her body so sensitive straight after and you always made sure she had to sit in that vulnerability as you looked at her. 
Her hair spills across the pillow, wild and untamed, just like the way she had fought you earlier, but now everything about her feels different. The tension has melted from her frame, and all that remains is her soft, compliant form, her eyes slightly glazed with the overwhelming release.
You watch her for a moment, taking in the sight, how she looks so serene, so at peace now. Her chest rises and falls in slow, steady breaths, the flush on her cheeks still vivid, a reminder of how much she’s given in. Her lips part slightly, still moist from your earlier touch, and you can’t help but smile at how beautiful she looks, completely in your control but radiating something even deeper: trust.
"You look so pretty like this," you say softly, your voice almost whispering as you brush a strand of hair from her face. "So obedient, I think you were made for this."
Her eyes flicker up to meet yours, and there’s something vulnerable in her gaze, a quiet acknowledgment of everything she’s surrendered to. She doesn’t speak, but the way her body shifts just slightly under the ribbon tells you she’s still processing the intensity of it all.
Her breath catches in a contented sigh as you trace the soft edges of the ribbon, pulling gently at the delicate strands that still hold her in place, and you watch the way she reacts, each movement now one of complete surrender.
"You’re so beautiful when you’re like this," you murmur, your voice soothing, but carrying the weight of your control. "Wrapped up so perfectly for me."
Agatha’s cheeks burn a deeper shade of red, her entire body flushed with the afterglow of everything that has happened. Her lips tremble as she takes a breath, a soft, almost imperceptible smile forming on her face, an unspoken acceptance in the way she looks at you.
And as you watch her, so completely yours in this moment, your fingers gently tug at the ribbon once more, admiring the way it holds her, the way she’s been completely wrapped up, not just in the fabric, but in you.
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p0ssywhippedcream · 2 years ago
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Zuko has been with the gang for a while now and you've been able to teach him how to do most any chore. He can set up tents, bathe Appa and even dry clothes off without lighting them on fire (it happened a couple times tho). But the one thing he just can't get is cooking.
He stands beside you as you lower a pot over the fire gently, his eyebrows knitted. He watches as you angle it so there's no chance of it falling as it small bubbles appear; signaling its commence of boiling. You sit down on a flat stone and take out a small knife, gesturing a c'mere motion with the blade.
"Can you hand me the tomatoes?" He grabs them and passes them over, ears flushing when your hand brushes his.
"You're going to boil them?" You giggle and shake your head.
"No, this is for the broth and the beef. Everybody has been craving it but Aang is a vegetarian, remember?"
He nods and pops a squat next to you on a large rock. Your ankles touch and his toes flex. "You're making him something separate." You agreed with a hum and begin to slice the fruit over a bowl in your lap.
"That's nice of you." You glance up briefly and give him a sheepish grin. He finds it endearing.
As you focus your attention back to the task at hand, Zuko wonders what he should say next. Before he can really consider it, you toss a piece of tomato at Momo and ask, "Your uncle makes tea right?"
"Uh, yeah. Uncle loves tea."
"How come you haven't learned how to?"
He doesn't want to admit that he didn't pay attention when he should've, when he had time to notice how Iroh did it. "I wasn't taught."
"Do you want me to teach you?" You look up and pause your slicing. The bowl has a small stack of tomato piled inside that tumbles when you shake it.
"I'm not very good at uh.. making things." You snicker, remembering when he burned lettuce a couple weeks ago.
"Yeah, I noticed," You smile to let him know you're teasing and he returns it a little shyer. "I could, though. Teach you. You don't have to be good at it."
"What's the point of teaching me if I'm not good at it?"
"I like spending time with you." You shrug and reach for an avocado across him. Your arm is just too short and he takes the opportunity to grab it for you, turning his head so you don't see his blush. "And you'd get the hang of it, tea is like.. your birthright."
Zuko chuckles. He always thought his birthright was violence. He wonders if it still is. He doesn't say that. "Because Uncle owned a tea shop?"
"Yeah," You laugh, "And you can use your fire bending, yunno? But I'm not sure if you have the patience for it."
"Why's that?" Suddenly Sokka is next to him, holding a pile of sticks and asking you where you want them. You point next to the fire and notice the water jumping in the pot. Standing up, you motion for the broth ingredients and Zuko hands you the pre-mixed bowl. Sokka is quickly distracted by Toph demanding to know where Aang went and Zuko turns back to you.
The crackle of the fire comforts the atmosphere as the sun sets, giving your face an orange hue that dances dramatically from your chin to your nose. You tuck a piece of hair away and Zuko can see the way your eyes glitter in the soft glow, your pupils swallowing the color of their rims.
It's silent for a bit, Zuko simply watching as you stir the pot and occasionally call out for Sokka and Toph to stop arguing. You set down the ladle and pick up a bowl of assorted vegetables and fruits, passing it to Zuko.
"Can you find that bread from the village? I think it's in Katara's bag?" He disappears to rummage and returns holding a half-eaten loaf.
"Okay, that should be enough," You remark as you turn away from cooking and towards his returning figure. You make eye contact with him and your nose wrinkles in the moonlight as you smile, "Can you cut that in half and make a sandwich?"
He sits down and follows your instructions, first wiping the knife you'd used earlier before slipping it in the loaf and beginning to separate it. His dominant hand slices down as he keeps it steady in the other and as he gets to the end, he takes his chance to look at you.
Your feet are bare on the ground, a little dirty and as you shift from side to side, your heels lift enough he can see your bridges. A daffodil is stuck to the bottom of your left foot, staring at him before being engulfed in a step again. You move around the pot, pushing the ingredients stuck to the side back in the middle and the flower is left upside down on a rock.
His finger burns in pain and he notices a small cut. He had finished slicing the bread and had dug into his hand. Cursing, he sets aside your assignment and stands up holding his hand as blood flows slowly. You notice immediately and rush over. You bend down and rip a bit of your skirt, wrapping it around his hand and shushing him back down onto the rock again.
"It's not too deep, you should be okay." He nods, hissing as the fabric rubs the sensitive flesh. "It hurts?"
"Yeah." You press his hand towards you, checking it again and clutching it from the palm.
"You can go back to cooking." You look up at him confused and he continues, "It might burn."
"It's fine, it needs to marinate. You need my attention more."
The firelight covers the furious burning of his face, "Are you sure? It's a small cut."
Your expression is hard to see in the dark but the coy fluttering of your features is obvious enough. You're nervous, and a shade darker on your cheeks and oh, you're blushing too.
"I care about you." You murmur and it's a blessing he hears it.
"I- I care about you too," He offers, the urge to look away would be worse if you weren't already doing that. He watches the twitch of your nose as your smile takes your lips again. You meet his gaze and he realizes how close you are. He feels your hot breath on his face and leans in just a bit more. "You look really... really pretty."
Your eyes crinkle in the corners as your mouth spreads wider and reveals your teeth, dimples making his heart flutter as he confesses, "You're glowing. The- the fire makes you glow."
You digest his words with a gentle laugh covered by your hand. "Yeah," You pause and quirk your head to the side, "You do."
He wants to faint and of course he doesn't know what to say. You help him out again and suddenly your nose is brushing his. "You like me?"
He nods because he's not sure he can speak without squeaking.
"I like you too.." Your words are felt on his lips as you get even closer. Your eyes dart across his face, seemingly checking for affirmation before your mouth is on his and all the blood rushes to his head. His hand comes up to hold your head as he kisses you back. For a second, it's so amazing as you lick across his bottom lip until pain is shooting up his hand and he has to pull away.
Your hair had brushed his still open cut and he cradled his hand a little closer to himself as you re-examine it. "Sorry.."
Zuko looks at you like you're crazy, "Don't be sorry."
You glance up and away, still flustered.
"I've liked you for so long," His admission fills the night wind and you prompt him to continue with wide eyes. He's a little quieter as he finishes with, "Since Ba Sing Se."
He misses your voice dearly as he waits for your answer. He gets it in the form of giggles ticklish as butterflies. He watches you with curiosity until you say, "I was wrong, you are patient."
He laughs too now and you both shake beside the fire with hands holding bellies. The spurt of broth leaping out of the pot brings you back and you scramble up to stir it. Zuko watches as you step over the daffodil again and it flips upright, showing him that it was two, smushed so closely it looked like one. He looks up at you in admiration as you taste the stew and feels a surge of affection for whatever luck landed him at your side tonight.
"You were wrong too," His face contorts in confusion and you elaborate, "You're good at making things... you made me like you."
He's the luckiest guy in the fire nation. He goes to tell you but you speak first. "And I want to teach you how to make tea, but I think I should let Iroh. When we find him."
Zuko's left with a mouth hanging open and a heart stuck between missing his Uncle and loving you for all your kindness and thoughtful nature. He settles on both. "I don't know if he'll forgive me."
You make a strange face as you gaze at him over the open flame, it looks intense in the orange heat. "You don't give his love for you enough credit."
Then you're coming over and pecking him on the cheek, making him dizzy again. You bring your lips to his ear and whisper "I think he'll do anything if you let him teach you to make tea."
His smile is warm and flustered when you teasingly add, "I would, and I like you a little bit less than he does."
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100jewels-between-teeth · 3 months ago
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18+ Oneshot
Word count: 3055
AO3 ¤ Ko-Fi ¤ Masterlist
~ Summery: They both could not truly understand if this was the reality they were gifted, or elaborate hells that they were still stuck within. But through late night reassurances before their final fight, they both find themselves grounded in a crazed reality that could only be blissful as long as they are with one another.
Lucanis x f!Rook de Riva
Cw: Smut, just pure lovemaking smut, overstimulation AN: So... this is my first smut posting here so... well enjoy. Im def not nervous. Huge massive shoutout to @enterthedreams for the beta!!! Honestly youre my favorite person.
Something about the sound of his steady heartbeat harmonizing with the calm breathing that caressed her damp, flushed face, was nothing short of bliss. The couch had been abandoned at some point during their second round. Now they were just content to lay on the floor, surrounded by blankets and candles bathing them both in a romantic glow. Between that and the reflective veins of the aquarium above, Avantika could not help but think this all looked to be the most ethereal dream. 
To see Lucanis like this, to even hear him like this, made him more godlike than any of the Evanuris could think to achieve. Lucanis must have noticed the silent adoration that Rook was giving him. A brow arched as he reached to move some hair that remained stuck to her skin away. His hand did not immediately retreat, taking a moment to trace the outline of her cheekbone. It followed down until the tip of his finger was resting at the bottom of her chin. Without even a silent command, Rook leaned in to have her lips grace his own – a kiss of gentle tenderness and love. “What has your mind distracted, mi diosa?” The look of concern on Lucanis’s features immediately tugged at her heart, wanting to eradicate any kind of emotion that was not happiness in this moment, in this little world they had created. 
Concern was for what would take place in the morning, not now. Not here. “Would you believe me if I said you?” The smile that she gave him was one filled with dimples on her cheeks and teeth. 
Lucanis’ own reflected straight back, a smile that would tear down the heavens. It was a privilege to Rook that she had been gifted his smile. His trust and comfort. That kind of smile could only be reciprocated with another kiss, moving from his lips to the bags under his eyes. For the first time, Avantika felt the exhaustion in those beautiful eyes was warranted. They both had given up on sleep a long while ago. 
Lucanis was right. 
How on earth could either sleep when the other was like this? “I could only hope it is good. I know it has been a while so my skills might take some ti – ” Before Lucanis could even finish the sentence, Avantika was quick to cut him off. “Oh, shut your fucking mouth.” 
She all but pounced on his broad chest, attacking his face with her lips while tenderly pecking and nipping as his own laughter filled the room. Strong arms wrapped around the woman as he took her in a roll, accepting this defeat as he got Rook on her back. The sight of him above her, eyes filled with nothing but love looking into her own almost brought her to tears. But in this light, the reflections of water mixed with the flickering candlelight, she could not help but have her eyes drawn to that silver puckered skin on his chest. Which only brought her eyes to all the others that littered his body. It came with the job, the scars. 
Lucanis probably noticed at some point with all the clothes flying off that Rook had her own. Some Crows – usually Viago – would tell anyone that scars meant a sloppy job. Crows were meant to be clean. Quick in and out performances. From what Avantika could assume, neither her nor Lucanis were exactly fitting that description. 
Catching the direction of her eyes, a small smirk grew. He raised himself into a seated position on her lap as Avantika rested upon her shoulders. “My cousin gave me that one, funnily enough.” Lucanis shrugged, the pad of his thumb tracing over the two inch long pinkish line. “We were sparring in the garden, and snuck a couple of Caterina’s knives. You know how it goes, stupid kids playing with knives.” “So what you’re saying is that he beat you?” It took everything in Avantika not to let out a little snicker. “What?! No! I beat him and he gave me this because he is a sore loser!” Lucanis placed his hand over his heart in mock offence. But the flint in his eyes gave away that jovial mischief. “I killed a god, Rook! You think my cousin is going to best me?” “Okay, okay!” Rook lifted her hands in surrender, seating herself up more so that they were both level with each other. Lucanis made sure not to keep his whole weight on her legs or hips. “I'm just saying it only took until the second chance and – ” “And I did not have a demon, nor a woman like you, distracting my thoughts then, pequeña cuervo.” Lucanis’s voice dipped to a playful low growl, taking her face in his hands as he traced the tip of his nose against hers. “I'd say that is unfair.” 
For as much as this man tried to play that intimidation game, they both knew with Avantika, he could only be this soft man. “Ah yes. My fault, I see your game, Dellamorte.” Avantika playfully pushed the man away, moving to stand with the destination of nowhere in mind. “I see how it is.” 
The arm that wrapped around her waist was expected, Avantika letting Lucanis pull her back as he assaulted her neck with kisses. 
“Forgive me diosa, I mean it as the greatest compliment.” His nose buried in the thick wild mass of her hair as he took a deep breath of her scent. 
Rook felt him rock their bodies back and forth, his bare chest pressed against her bare back as his face travelled from her neck to the line of her shoulders. Avantika had learnt much from this night. Like how this man could spend literal hours just memorizing every dip and valley of her body. How there was not an inch of skin he would leave unappreciated, unadorned with his branding lips and igniting breath. How Lucanis could be so determined to find every spot that made Avantika shudder, whimper, bite her lip to suppress that moan he was chasing. 
Maybe it was for the thrill of the sexual experience. That carnal desire both had suppressed for however long in their lives, let it be their choice or otherwise.  
It was so much more than just a simple desire. It was reassurance, to make sure that what they were tasting, kissing, loving, was real and tangible. That what they were trusting with their most vulnerable hearts was real, that the safety and love they both wanted to shelter them was truly existing. 
So the lingering touches, whether it be to explore a desire or just for the comfort of feeling they were there, helped the both of them. When Lucanis kissed from one shoulder blade to another, humming happily to himself as he felt the trail he left behind bloom in blush, she smiled, nuzzling into the skin. “And the others? Were those Illario too, or do you just have that many sore losers you fight?” Rook could not help but giggle at the small bite Lucanis left in warning following a growl. 
She turned around in his arms. Now Avantika sat in his lap with both legs on either side. Leaning back, she could hear that stifled whimper Lucanis gave, not wanting her too far away from his adoring touch and gaze. Her fingers went to his lips, playfully hushing him. Those wide brown eyes looked to her with deepest reverence, his lips automatically capturing the pads of her fingertips between his lips and his beard tickled the skin he kissed softly. Finally breaking her focus away from that beautiful face, her amber eyes fell back to those scars decorating his body. Some were jagged, rough, and others seemed so precise and delicate. It truly was a strange kind of tapestry of his life he bore. Where some were faded, only a ghost of a story lingering, others seemed quite new, possibly no less than a year old. That thought made Avantika swallow the sudden lump in her throat as Lucanis reached to gently brush her cheek. Rook’s eyes flickered back to him. 
A silent question being asked as her hand fell away from his face, instead ghosting over the scar they both had just focused on. Compared to the others, it was rather tame. Of course, if touching such wounds was far too fast, too personal for Lucanis to deal with right now, Avantika would stop immediately. But with a shivering breath, goosebumps appearing on his skin, he nodded. His right hand took hers softly, directing her to another, far more jagged scar over his right bicep. Her touch was featherlight. As if Lucanis would just shatter like glass if she applied any more pressure. Whether it was her touch, or his scar being touched specifically, Lucanis let out a shudder, his breath hitching in his throat as Avantika slowly traced over every curve. His hand fell away, letting Avantika fully explore the canvas of this man. 
“Ambushed on a job.” For how jovial he sounded, Lucanis's voice was almost breathless. “Not that the target had any backup, but the attic I chose to enter seemed to have a hermit also residing there. Maybe I deserved it for disturbing the peace of his sleep.” 
When he finished speaking, a few deep breaths followed. Avantika’s hand traced over the valley of his chest, finding a scar just on his shoulder. This one was much different – not a stab or a cut, but instead a burn just slightly smaller than her palm. “A couple years ago, one of my targets really didn’t want to go down without some sort of blaze of glory.” Something in Lucanis’s voice became quieter, more wistful as Avantika’s finger traced small circles within the taut skin. “Burnt their entire estate to the ground. Still managed to get him, but I didn’t really consider the falling debris.” 
“Viago had told me about that incident.” Avantika could not help but snicker and flick the nose of the man whose expression went from light to deadpan. “Said that is the reason if you take a contract, make sure you case the home for the smell of oil.” 
But hearing the woman laugh, he could not stop the smile reappearing. Seeing the smile too, Rook nuzzled her nose to the corner of his lips, eliciting another low chuckle from the Crow as she continued her discoveries. That finger of hers trailed from the shoulder down his arm, asking about every little story Lucanis could remember. Some were from little accidents; falling from roofs, lost drunken bets, Illario being the cousin that he is. 
Others, she could feel his body stiffen at the stories, some much harder to stir in his memory than others. For those particular reflections, Avantika’s hand would reassuringly stroke Lucanis’s hair, not wanting such memories to take over his heart and mind from the small bubbled world they had created. There came a point where Avantika stopped asking. Where both of their voices just somehow drifted away as she traced over the scars over and over. 
Then she felt, to herself at least, her touches were not enough. That just a lingering touch could not help heal the wounds of memories left behind. She may not be able to heal them completely, but the least she could do was make sure he was never alone in facing the dark. At this point, Avantika had homed herself behind Lucanis, the man’s back to her chest. When her finger disappeared, and for a moment there was just the ambient air around them, a soft and fleeting whimper escaped Lucanis, having grown so accustomed to her adoring touches. But what was once just the feeling of a featherlight finger became replaced with the burning warms of Rook’s lips, capturing the puckered flesh of the healed wound between her lips. 
Where Lucanis had just let out near breathless whimpers before, this touch had made those sounds change to something far deeper, more guttural. The sound sent shivers and pleasured waves through Avantika’s body, only able to take that as the go ahead to keep moving forward. 
For the next blissful eternity, Avantika worshipped every scar, every physical remnant of a memory on Lucanis’s body. Her lips, tongue, even teeth did everything they could to kiss away whatever metaphorical demons lingered within them. It did not take long for Lucanis to lose whatever sliver of control he had over himself in this moment, his body shuddering every time her lips graced another scar. 
Bit back moans became guttural growls and whined pleading, words incomprehensible. But, slowly, so agonizingly slowly, Avantika made her way around the man’s body. From his back, down the length of his arms. Even his hands and fingers did not escape her worship, those small worn knicks and weathered callouses receiving nothing but love from her mouth and breath. By the time Avantika returned to straddling Lucanis’s hips, he had become a shivering, opened mouth mess. Gasping open-mouthed breaths, skin fire-hot and oversensitive. Avantika could only assume not once had this man ever felt this kind of care, this kind of much deserved appreciation given to his body. If together meant forever showing this man the love and adoration he deserved to feel for the rest of his life, Avantika would willingly take it. 
For the next million lifetimes over. Her lips finally broke away from her journey. Then Lucanis’s arms shot up to hold her own, white knuckled like she was the only lifeline he could cling to. For a moment, Avantika saw the panic in his eyes – one that the two seemed to share. The panic that this was not real, that the two were in some elaborate and cruel dream. His mind still in the Ossuary partly, this being some new method of torture concocted by Calivan. 
To her, this could have been another visage in the Fade. Solas being cruelly sympathetic and letting her live out the rest of existence in the Fade in some warped, tortured dream. But as his breath once again caressed her face, his heartbeat thrumming in his chest, Avantika knew that this was true. 
This was real. 
This was their eternity, together. And if she had to prove that, by the gods she would. Before he could speak of their worries, her hand found his lips again. Lucanis’s eyes rolled to the back of his head at the contact, his breath shuddering. Rook kept her own mouth nearly a breath away from his, drinking in every gasp and moan that he fed her with. His arousal was already quite prevalent against her thigh, exhausted and oversensitive from the prior adorations of the night, but still somehow more. 
For a long moment, Avantika just kept herself still, falling into the abyss that was his gaze. A stare filled with love and pure bliss at what was being held in his arms. Letting her hand slowly slip away again, she silently allowed Lucanis to help lift her waist, their faces not breaking the miniscule distance from each other. Both wanted to drink this in, drink each other in. To witness their eyes, their breaths, their very beings connecting as one. And so it did. 
Slowly, he sheathed himself within her warm walls once more. The overstimulation of the night prevented him from fully entering completely, letting out a long whine at the surge of overwhelming pleasure that shot through him. Avantika could not blame him, her own mewl following as her sex automatically tightened as much as it could from the entrance. 
Both were well spent, well satisfied, but this coupling was far more than just sex, just chasing pleasure. This was the two solidifying themselves in reality, within each other. Drinking in her moans, Lucanis canted his hips upward, sharply letting the rest of himself become engulfed. The cry that ripped through his throat was quickly devoured by Avantika’s kiss. Not a kiss of precision, but one full of teeth and tongue – one that just needed to devour him completely. 
He groaned into her mouth, his own kiss sloppily reciprocating as the two began to move together as one. Both of their hips rolled simultaneously as they cried out in a frenzied ecstasy. Rook finding all the scars again to drag her nails along, eliciting the most erotic and passionate cries from the Crow beneath her. That is when the first tear fell from Avantika’s face. 
She did not know what exactly made her cry through all this. The immense pleasure he was giving her with every stuttering thrust, the wailing cries and whimpers they both fed each other, or just the knowledge that he was here with her. 
That all of this was real. That their love was real. 
So when the tear fell to his cheek, he immediately latched his lips to her face, kissing away every exhausted tear she produced as his own materialized. Neither knew how long they rocked with each other, neither really seemed to care. Avantika had let herself go, losing count on how many times Lucanis had made her unravel into jaded oblivion. He had come with her, his seed filling her core and overflowing, dripping like the tears on her cheeks, thighs slick with the physical representation of Lucanis’s adoration. It could have been an hour, to them they did not care if it was days spent like this either. But pulling away one more time, collapsing on their side to the floor as their legs were wrapped in a tangled heap, Lucanis kissed the remaining tears away, Avantika following suit. “Diosa mía, mi vida, mi corazón y mi ser son sólo tuyos. Te amo, mi pequeño cuervo.” Lucanis followed his words with a long, lingering kiss, one that carried the love of his words.  Avantika could not help but let out a choked sob at the beauty of his words. A language she had to learn, that she thanked every god above she kept remembrance of. With her own reciprocating kiss, capturing his lower lip between her teeth, she looked up into his eyes, her hand wiping away the remaining tears staining his cheek.
“Lucanis… You're really here, we are really here. My love for you, truly, is here.”
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mi diosa - my goddess pequeña cuervo - little crow Diosa mía, mi vida, mi corazón y mi ser son sólo tuyos. Te amo, mi pequeño cuervo - My goddess, my life, my heart and my being are yours alone. I love you, my little crow.
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thefandomthings · 10 months ago
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ugh i need prompt 9 w mammon
i js love mc being so shameless for their love for him
Love me
Fluff Prompt #9: "I love you." "Say it again." "I love you."
Pairing: Mammon x Gn!reader
Warnings: Extreme fluff, cussing, baby angst, drinking, Mammon and MC being simps for each other
Notes: Mams deserves all the love in the world, especially yours (Greedy bastard).
Prompt event
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How long has it been since he last checked the time? A few seconds? Few minutes? Maybe a few hours. Time is dragging on and on it seems. The glass of Devil Chaos cider is slowly loosing its carbonation. He's tempted to put a few shots of demonus in it to make his throat burn. A way to distract his mind.
And he does just that. Taking the bottle off the shelf, he pours a few shots into his cider. Watching it create carbon bubbles in the blue drink. Mammon puts it back on the shelf, taking a long sip of his cider.
The liquor mixed with the cider burns his throat, his face twisting into a sour expression as he swallows. He lays his head on his arm, starring into the class. Wondering when his beloved treasure will return.
Mammon lets out a sigh, his eyes glancing at the old clock on the wall again. You promised you wouldn't be long. Just a quick trip to the mall with Asmo while he had to attend a meeting with Levi, Lucifer, and Daivolo, unfortunately. He was planning on skipping it, but your pretty face asking him in such a sweet voice to go had him on his knees.
So now Mammon waits, a quarter passed 6 waiting for you. He knows it's not your fault you're late. Asmos' terrible shopping habits effect everyone regardless if you try to avoid it. He's really not any better about blowing money, but it's all on you.
Finally, around 6:35 you opened the door. A bag in your hand and a frazzled look on your face. Mammon was asleep on the desk, his fingers loosely around the base of his wine glass.
You felt bad for being 30 some minutes late, keeping your poor boyfriend waiting. But you did get him a surprise that you'll know he'll love.
"Baby..." You set the bag at your feet and shake him awake gently. "I'm home."
Mammon grumbles awake his pretty eyes opening and looking up at you. His whole face lights up at the sight of you, his arms moving around your waist instantly.
"Why were ya' gone so long?" His voice is soft and adorable. His eyes are closed tightly as he squeezes you, his face in your stomach.
"Asmo took way to long, M'sorry baby." You pressed a kiss on top of his head, your finger threading through his soft, white hair.
He only hummed in acknowledgement, bathing in your presence and touch. His little human, his treasure, his love.
"I love you." You spoke softly, pressing multiple kisses to his forehead. Mammon squeezes you tighter, he slips his head under your shirt.
"Say it again." Mammon's voice is muffle by the fabric of your sweater, his lips kissing your stomach softly.
"I love you, Mammon. I always will."
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homeofthelonelywriter · 6 months ago
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Of Cupcakes and Skulls | Part 3
(A/N) Time for some angst, baby!
Pairing: single dad! Mafia! Simon x baker! Reader
Warning: angst, threats against Reader
Synopsis: Based on this post by @lunamoonbby
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9
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For a moment, you were frozen. ‘You’. Whatever he meant when he said ‘you’, it wasn’t going to end well for you. Your eyes jumped from one man to the next, all of them were bigger and definitely stronger than you. But maybe you would be faster. Slowly, as if not to startle them, you took another step back. And another, until you stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your bag, which contained both your phone and your wallet, with Simon’s business card.
“Look…I-I don’t know what you’re t-talking about, but I don’t know anyone by the name R-Riley.”
One more step. One more step and you could quickly grab your bag and run for the walk-in cooler. It hadn’t worked a single day since you had bought the bakery, and you could never use it since the door would jam if you closed it. So it just sat in the corner of the room, the door always slightly ajar.
“Now, now kleines, no need to run away.”
You hesitated. Did he really read you so easily? Or was it just because you were backing away?
“On the contrary. I believe this is the moment to run.”
And you did. Your right hand quickly grabbed your bag, as you spun on your heels and took off in the direction of the cooler. After a moment of confusion, the men took off after you. But that one moment would save you. Just as they reached the cooler, you slammed the door shut, stumbling back and falling onto your ass as the momentum carried you inside.
You heard the men banging against the door, pulling and pushing but it wouldn’t budge. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you relaxed for a second, the tension leaving your body. But as the men outside started shouting, it reminded you that you weren’t entirely safe.
Without hesitation, you spilled the contents of your bag on the floor, grabbing your wallet and ruffling through it until you found the black card. Picking up your phone, you dialed the number, quietly praying for Simon to pick up. It rang once…twice…
“Who is this?”
Relieve flooded you and you almost cried, tears gathering in your eyes.
“Simon? Help me.”
You whispered his name, not wanting the men outside to hear you. It was silent for a second before you heard the jingle of keys and Simon barking orders. He then said your name, his tone a mix of concern and resolve.
“Where are you?”
“Bakery.”
You heard him bark more orders, voices of men responding in the back as his quick steps echoed in whatever room he was in.
“What happened?”
As you were about to respond, the lamps suddenly turned on, bathing the steel box you were in, in cold light. Cold air immediately began seeping from the vents. How did they turn it on? You thought it was broken.
“Oh, little bird. Put Riley on speaker, why don’t you?”
His voice was loud enough that Simon heard it through the phone. Simon said a name in a low growl.
“König.”
Slow, rhythmic bangs came from the door as you began to shiver, wishing that you had worn your cardigan.
“I said, put. Him. On. Speaker.”
“Do what he says, love.”
Not even registering the nickname, you quickly fumbled with your phone, until Simon was on speaker.
“Listen here you little shit, if you hurt her-!”
“Ah, ah, ah. You really shouldn’t insult me like that…Ghost. Now, I know you like die kleine Bäckerin, so do as I say, ja? Come here, alone, and let me kill you. Then the kleine Maus can go and I won’t hurt her.”
Simon cursed under his breath and was silent for a bit. You started to grow nervous.
“Okay. I’ll come, alone.”
The man, König, chuckled darkly and banged on the door a few more times.
“Good boy. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.”
You put the phone off speaker and raised it to your ear. Before you could say anything, Simon’s voice cut through.
“Listen to me and don’t say anything, act as if I hung up. I’ll be there in five, but you need to stay alive until I get to you, okay?”
You whimpered in response, a single tear running down your cheek.
“I know love, but it’ll be alright. Just keep your head down and I’ll get you out of there. I promise.”
Even though he couldn’t see you, you nodded, squeezing your eyes shut as more tears escaped them and ran down your cheeks. Simon was silent for a few moments before he spoke up again.
“It’s okay. Look, if anything happens, I-.”
You cut him off in a whisper, so quiet he could barely hear you.
“Don’t. Not like this.”
There once again was silence on the other end. But only for a moment.
“Okay…okay. Stay on the call, I’ll be right there.”
You didn’t answer, but you knew that he wouldn’t lie to you. So you crawled into one of the far corners and cowered down, keeping the phone pressed to your ear. The next few minutes felt like hours as the men outside kept banging on the door, taunting you as more and more tears fell and the shivers grew stronger. Simon tried his best to keep you calm, but he knew that he could only do so much. But after what felt like an eternity, you heard his voice again.
“We’re almost there. I’ll hang up and I need you to cover your ears, can you do that for me, love?”
You whimpered in response and Simon took it as confirmation.
“Okay. I’ll see you in a moment, love.”
The moment he hung up the call, you placed your phone beside you and covered your ears. But it wasn’t enough to shield you from what happened outside. At first, there was a lot of yelling, and then the shooting began. You kept your ears covered, pressing your hands against your head as hard as possible while squeezing your eyes shut, trying to shut out the world and whatever was happening in your bakery.
You don’t know how much time passed before the shooting stopped. Slowly, you removed your hands from your ears, glancing toward the door. You could hear loud, hurried footsteps approaching and for a moment you feared that it was König or one of his men, but then you heard the familiar voice of Simon calling your name.
As quickly as you could, you scrambled to your feet and ran to the door, banging against it.
“S-Simon? Simon!”
You could hear him release a relieved sigh and open the door. Of course, it didn’t budge.
“I-It’s j-jammed.”
Now that you knew you were safe, the cold that had crept into your bones by now, finally got to you as your legs gave out from underneath you and you crumbled to the floor leaning against the door. You could hear Simon yelling on the other side and then hurried footsteps leaving.
“It’s alright, love, we’ll have you out of there in a second. Just hold on, okay?”
You didn’t respond, the cold and the absence of adrenaline leaving you weak. Simon kept talking until the footsteps returned and you heard metal squeak as they pried the door open. Not being able to keep yourself upright, you tumbled out of the cooler and landed right at Simon’s feet. He immediately knelt down in front of you, shrugging his suit jacket off, before wrapping it around you and picking you up.
“I got you, love. I got you.”
He muttered something to one of his men, something along the lines of taking care of things. Then he walked out the shattered window front of the kitchen and to a black car, parked in the middle of the street.
As soon as he made sure you were buckled in, he got behind the wheel and sped off, but not before turning the heating on full blast. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh, he sped through the streets until he came to a stop in front of a high rise. It was famous, but you never knew the mafia owned it. By then, you were warmed up, but you still felt weak. So you didn’t protest when he rounded the car and picked you up again, gently carrying you into the building and the elevator.
If you had been stronger, you would have marveled at the apartment, but at the moment, all you wanted to do was sleep. And Simon seemed to know that. He carried you straight to what seemed to be his bedroom and gently put you down. With what remaining strength you had, you helped him take off everything except for your underwear, as he gave you a huge t-shirt you could put on instead.
Once you were settled, Simon pulled the blanket over you, tucking you in, before rising to his feet and walking away. But you quickly caught his wrist and pulled him back.
“Stay?”
Simon hesitated, but after a moment, he nodded, quickly shedding his clothes and pulling on sleep pants, before he got into bed behind you, carefully pulling you against his chest. His arms, tightly wrapped around you made you feel safe. And slowly but surely, you drifted off to a restless sleep, the security of Simon around you, not carrying over into your dreams.
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Call of Duty - Masterlist
Master-Masterlist
Tags: @lunamoonbby @distinguishedprincesstrash
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03jyh23 · 4 months ago
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🖤⌇ thuggish charm chapter one bandit(?)!; a jung wooyoung mini-series
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badboy(?) wooyoung x fem!reader
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│ series masterlist│ next │
│synopsis: the one where you miss your train and meet a charming... bandit?
│genre: romance
│trigger warnings: none?
│words: 4.5 k
│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.
!minors do not interact!
│taglist: if you wish to join let me know here
— hi there, my lovely people! honestly, i have no idea what this is 😭. i got inspired by a song from one of the rappers in my country and just went with it. and now i'm just wondering if i should do something more with this story or just leave it be?
love, mon ♡
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A cold evening breeze tousled your hair, plastering strands to your face. A heavy bag hung from your shoulder, filled with items that couldn't fit into the large suitcase standing beside you, your hand gripping its handle tightly. The thing was, you didn't make it to your transfer train. Despite your friends' warnings, you insisted you could grab a much-needed iced coffee in the 10 minutes before your train left. You were wrong.
The platform was dark, with only two solitary lamps casting a dim light. You cursed yourself under your breath, but there wasn't much you could do now. You'd already waited for an hour; you could've managed another before the next train arrived. You glanced at your phone, sighing heavily—it was running out of battery. It was frustrating. You'd have to wait two hours just to take a train for a little over forty minutes to reach your hometown. But you were the only one to blame. Well, at least you had your coffee and a blueberry muffin. But it wasn’t worth it, not at all. You shivered, pulling your jacket tighter around you. You glanced at the large clock hanging from the information board, hoping the minutes would pass more quickly. Of course, they didn't.
After an frustratingly long time you finally heard the train approaching, its rumble growing louder as it neared the station. You felt a mix of relief and anticipation wash over you. Finally, you'd be on your way. As the train's headlights pierced through the darkness, illuminating the platform, you gathered your belongings and prepared to board, eager to put this frustrating delay behind you.
The car you boarded was empty, so you sat down at the very end, near the window. You placed your luggage in the designated area and quickly plugged in your phone to charge as much as possible for the remaining journey.
As the train pulled into the next station, the platform gradually came into view, bathed in the harsh glow of fluorescent lights that cast long shadows across the concrete. The stark illumination revealed an almost deserted space, save for a group of eight young men clustered near the far end. Their presence immediately caught your attention, starkly contrasting the emptiness surrounding them. Each member of the group was clad entirely in black, their dark attire blending into the night behind them. As your eyes adjusted to the scene, you noticed intricate tattoos adorning their bodies and faces - some subtle, others bold and striking. Three of them were casually smoking cigarettes, the wisps of smoke curling upwards into the night air. As you observed them, one of the smokers suddenly locked eyes with you. His gaze was intense and unwavering, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Without breaking eye contact, he deliberately tossed his half-finished cigarette into a nearby bin. The action, while seemingly casual, felt loaded with meaning. Your heart plummeted, a mix of anxiety and unease settling in your stomach. The weight of his stare was palpable, even from this distance. Instinctively, you turned your head away, breaking the uncomfortable connection. Your mind raced with possibilities, none of them comforting. As the train doors hissed open, you found yourself fervently hoping that none of the group would decide to board. The thought of sharing this confined space with them filled you with a sense of apprehension that you couldn't quite shake off.
"Wooyoung-ah, just get there and get it done with, yeah?" the unexpected gentleness in the voice you’ve just heard had caught you off guard. You grabbed your phone to busy yourself with, fingers trembling slightly as you unlocked it, trying to appear nonchalant.
As you glanced up from your phone, you saw one of the young men from the group stepping onto the train. His movements were fluid and graceful, belying his intimidating appearance. The tattoos on his face seemed to dance in the flickering light of the train car. "I'll be fine, Joong. See y'all next week, yeah?" the boy called out, waving to his companions just before the train doors closed with a loud beep. Your heart rate quickened as you realized he must be Wooyoung, the one addressed earlier. His hair was black, neck-length, with a fringe styled neatly—only a few strands falling onto his forehead. You noticed a bandage right above his eyebrow, the skin around it purple with bruises. He wasn't tall, but the chunky boots and large leather jacket made him appear more imposing. The tattoos adorning his face seemed to shift and dance in the dim light of the train, adding an air of mystery to his already intimidating presence. His dark eyes scanned the train car, eventually settling on you. For a moment, your gazes locked, and you felt a mix of fear and inexplicable curiosity wash over you.
Wooyoung chose a seat a few rows ahead of you, close enough that you could observe him without being too obvious. As he settled in, you couldn't help but notice the way his shoulders relaxed slightly, as if he was shedding some of the intensity he had displayed on the platform. The train lurched forward, and you found yourself stealing glances at him, trying to reconcile the intimidating figure you'd seen on the platform with the young man now sitting quietly a few rows ahead. His presence seemed to fill the car, even in silence. Your eyes were drawn to the intricate tattoos adorning his face. The one beneath his left eye caught your attention - at first glance, it looked like the number 26, but as you studied it more closely, you realized it might be something else entirely. Your gaze drifted to his temple, where a small, delicate butterfly tattoo rested, a surprising contrast to his otherwise intimidating appearance. You tried to read the lettering above his eyebrow when he caught your eyes again. You raised your eyebrows and looked away, feeling a shudder run through your body. The intensity of his gaze was unsettling, a mix of curiosity and something you couldn't quite place. Your heart raced as you pretended to be engrossed in your phone, all too aware of his presence just a few rows ahead.
The train's rhythmic movement did little to calm your nerves as you found yourself stealing quick glances at Wooyoung again, hoping he wouldn't notice. The tattoo above his eyebrow remained a mystery, its meaning just out of reach.
Suddenly, his voice broke the silence, startling you out of your thoughts. "You know, it's not polite to stare," he said, his tone filled with amusement. His eyes met yours again, this time with a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
You felt your face flush with embarrassment, caught red-handed in your observation. "I... I'm sorry," you stammered, unsure of how to respond to his unexpected address.
Wooyoung shifted in his seat, turning to face you more directly. "Curious about the ink?" he asked, gesturing to the tattoos on his face. "Most people are. They either can't look away or can't bear to look at all." His words carried a weight that suggested he was used to both reactions. You felt your words frozen in your throat, unable to form a coherent response. The intensity of Wooyoung's gaze and the unexpected interaction left you speechless. You simply averted your eyes, focusing intently on your hands clasped tightly in your lap. You heard him chuckling softly, a sound that was both melodious and slightly unnerving. "Not much of a talker, huh?" he mused, his eyes still fixed on you. You dared to look up again, the warmth in his expression caught you off guard, softening his intimidating appearance. It was a stark contrast to the intense gaze you had encountered earlier. For a moment, you found yourself relaxing slightly, the tension in your shoulders easing just a fraction. "Are you afraid of me?" Wooyoung asked, sensing your hesitation. His voice was softer than you expected. The question hung in the air between you, heavy with implications.
You hesitated, weighing your words carefully. The initial fear you felt was still there, but it had been tempered by curiosity and the unexpected warmth in his smile. "I... I'm not sure," you admitted honestly, your voice barely above a whisper.
Wooyoung leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "That's fair," he said, his voice sultry. "But I promise, I'm much more... fun than I look." He winked, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "Want to find out just how deceiving appearances can be?" His gaze locked with yours, intense and inviting, daring you to look beyond his intimidating exterior.
You blinked continuously, taken aback by his bold proposition. "E-excuse me?" you managed to stammer, your voice barely above a whisper. The sudden shift in the conversation left you flustered, unsure of how to respond to unexpected flirtation.
Wooyoung rose from his seat, his movements fluid and deliberate. As he approached, you found yourself captivated by his presence. He stood before you, and for the first time, you truly noticed the intricate details of his face. His nose and lip piercings glinted in the dim light of the train car, adding to his allure. You were struck by how handsome he was up close, his features a perfect blend of sharp angles and soft curves. Looking up at him, you felt a mix of nervousness and anticipation.
Wooyoung's eyes met yours, a hint of amusement dancing in their depths. "May I?" he asked, his voice low and smooth as he gestured towards the seat next to you. The question hung in the air, loaded with possibilities. Your heart raced as you considered your options. The intensity of Wooyoung's gaze made you feel both thrilled and uneasy. After a moment's hesitation, you nodded slightly, your curiosity overcoming your apprehension. As he settled into the seat beside you, his presence both intimidating and oddly comforting, you couldn't help but wonder what you were getting yourself into.
"My name's Wooyoung," he says, his eyes roaming your features. "And I'd hate to scare off such a beautiful girl, so answer me... are you really afraid of me? Or is it just my killer looks that's got your tongue?" You felt a rush of heat creep up your neck as Wooyoung's words washed over you. His proximity was intoxicating, the scent of leather and something distinctly masculine filling your senses. You struggled to find your voice, caught between the intimidating aura he exuded and the undeniable attraction you felt.
"I... I'm not afraid," you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. "Just... surprised." You met his gaze, finding yourself drawn into the depth of his dark eyes.
Wooyoung's pierced lips curved into a smirk, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Surprised? By what? My charming personality or my devilishly good looks?" He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low, intimate tone that sent shivers down your spine.
You couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh, some of the tension dissipating. "Maybe a bit of both," you admitted, surprising yourself with your boldness.
His smirk widened into a genuine smile, transforming his face. "I like your honesty," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "So, beautiful, since we've established you're not afraid of me, how about we make this train ride a little more... interesting?" You crossed your arms and leaned back against the window, trying to put some distance between yourself and Wooyoung. His sudden closeness and bold proposition had caught you off guard, and you needed a moment to gather your thoughts.
"Are you going to shout 'A bandit! Help!' and run away now?" he joked, but you couldn't quite shake off the feeling he'd been in this situation before. Despite his joking tone, there was an undercurrent of familiarity in his words. Gathering your courage, you decided to address the elephant in the room.
"Do people usually call you a bandit?" you asked, your voice a mix of curiosity and caution.
Wooyoung's expression shifted slightly, a flicker of something—perhaps surprise or appreciation—crossing his features. He leaned back, creating a bit more space between you, and let out a soft chuckle. "Ah, straight to the point, aren't you?" he said, his tone a blend of amusement and something more serious. "Let's just say I've heard it enough times to make jokes about it. But appearances can be deceiving, you know?" His eyes met yours, and for a moment, you saw a vulnerability there that contradicted his tough exterior. "What do you think? Am I living up to the 'thug' stereotype?" he asked, his voice carrying a hint of challenge.
Finally, you took a deep breath and met his eyes directly. The intensity of his gaze made you feel both nervous and intrigued. "Honestly?" you asked with hesitation, weighing your next words carefully.
"No, please lie to me!" Wooyoung joked, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a pack of chewing gum. With a swift motion, he popped one into his mouth, the minty scent wafting between you. You couldn't help but smile at his playful response, feeling some of the tension dissipate. The casual act of chewing gum somehow made him seem more approachable, and less intimidating than before.
Taking another deep breath, you decided to answer honestly. "At first glance, maybe. The tattoos, the piercings, the whole vibe... it's intimidating," you admitted, watching his reaction carefully. "But talking to you now? You seem more... complex than that. There's more to you than meets the eye, isn't there?" You surprised yourself with your boldness, but something about Wooyoung made you want to dig deeper, to understand the person behind the intimidating facade.
Wooyoung smirked, raising one of his eyebrows as he popped a bubble with the gum. "Are you a psychiatrist in the making?" he teased. You wanted to brush off his little comment, but he didn't give you time to answer. "'I'm no bandit, first I've heard of it,'" he said, putting his hands up as if he were surrendering. "You'd be shocked at how many times I've had to say that." His words carried a hint of frustration beneath the playful tone, and you found yourself wondering about the experiences that led him to make such a statement. Wooyoung leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "You know," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief, "the ladies think I kill, but at home, I walk in pink slippers." He paused, letting the image sink in before continuing, "And all the grannies yell when I step out on the street." His gaze locked with yours, a mix of amusement and challenge in his expression. You couldn't help but laugh at the contrast he painted. The image of this intimidating figure in pink slippers was both absurd and oddly endearing.
"What else do you do at home?" you tease, finally relaxing into your seat, smiling warmly at the boy.
"Isn't that a very personal question?" he replies, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
You raised an eyebrow, mirroring his playful expression. "Well, you did invite me to make this train ride more interesting," you countered, your confidence growing with each exchange. "Besides, I'm curious about the man behind the tattoos and pink slippers." Your eyes met his, a silent challenge in your gaze, daring him to reveal more about himself.
"As for the tattoos, I just fucking like them, that's all," Wooyoung said with a shrug. His nonchalant attitude towards his tattoos made you wonder about the stories behind each one.
You found yourself drawn to the intricate designs adorning his skin, each one likely holding a unique significance. "Do any of them have special meanings?" you asked, your curiosity piqued. Wooyoung's eyes lit up at your question, a mix of surprise and appreciation crossing his features.
"I'll save the answer to that for a second date," Wooyoung said with a wink. He nonchalantly popped another gum balloon before spitting it into the small trash bin.
You laughed softly, feeling a mix of intrigue and amusement at his flirtatious response. "A second date? Aren't we getting a bit ahead of ourselves?" you teased back, your eyes meeting his with a playful challenge. The easy banter between you two was unexpected, but not unwelcome.
Wooyoung leaned in, his voice dropping to a low, sultry tone. "Well, I consider this our first date, ever since you agreed for me to sit here," he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. The boldness of his statement caught you off guard, sending a flutter through your stomach.
You felt a blush creep up your cheeks, but you couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips. "Oh really?" you replied, trying to match his confidence. "And here I thought first dates usually involved dinner or a movie, not a chance encounter on a train."
Wooyoung's grin widened, "Who says we can't be unconventional?" he countered, his gaze never leaving yours. "But if you want all of that," he continued, his voice taking on a playful, almost challenging tone, "then it's my pleasure to take you on such a... boring date without anything extraordinary to it." His eyes sparkled with mischief as he leaned in slightly closer. "Though I have to warn you, even my idea of 'ordinary' might surprise you."
You raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on your lips. "Who says I'd even agree to go out with you in the first place?" you challenged, your tone playful but with a hint of seriousness. "You're making quite a few assumptions there, Wooyoung."
Wooyoung's eyes widened slightly, clearly not expecting your response. He leaned back, a mix of surprise and admiration crossing his features. After a moment, he let out a low chuckle. "Touché," he said, his voice tinged with respect. "I guess I got a bit ahead of myself there. My apologies." He paused, his gaze softening. "But can you blame a guy for trying? You're not exactly easy to resist."
You felt a flutter in your stomach at his words, but you maintained your composure. "Flattery will get you nowhere," you said, though you couldn't help the small smile that tugged at your lips. "But I appreciate the apology. Maybe we should start with getting to know each other a bit better before planning any dates, hmm?"
Wooyoung's eyes lit up with amusement at your suggestion. "Why waste time if we can get to know each other on the date?" he countered, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "After all, isn't that what dates are for?"
You couldn't help but laugh at his persistence. "You don't even know my name," you pointed out, shaking your head in amusement at his bold flirtation.
Wooyoung's grin widened, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a low, intimate tone. "I don't need that to know you're the most beautiful woman I've seen," he said, his gaze never leaving yours. You felt a rush of heat creep up your neck at his words, caught between flattery and disbelief at his audacity. Despite yourself, you couldn't help but be charmed by his confidence and smooth talking.
You decided to play along with his flirtatious banter, feeling a mix of amusement and excitement. With a coy smile, you leaned in slightly and said, "I hope my beauty isn't too distracting. We wouldn't want you to miss your stop, would we?"
Wooyoung's eyes widened for a moment, clearly taken aback by your sudden boldness. Then, a slow, appreciative grin spread across his face. "Oh, darling," he drawled, his voice low and rich, "I'd gladly miss a hundred stops if it meant spending more time with you."
You couldn't help but giggle, turning your face away in embarrassment, not able to continue with the banter. You felt a warmth spreading through your chest, a mix of embarrassment and excitement at the intensity of Wooyoung's flirtation. As you turned back to face him, you caught a glimpse of something softer in his eyes, a vulnerability that seemed at odds with his bold exterior. For a moment, you allowed yourself to be caught in his gaze, feeling a strange mix of excitement and uncertainty. As the silence stretched between you, you noticed how Wooyoung started playing with his lip ring, his fingers absently toying with the small metal hoop. His eyes, which had been locked with yours, briefly dropped to your lips before meeting your gaze again. The gesture was subtle, but unmistakable, sending a small thrill through you. You found yourself wondering how that lip ring would feel against your own lips, the thought was both thrilling and intimidating. It sent a shiver down your spine, a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through you. You couldn't deny the attraction you felt towards Wooyoung, his bold confidence and mysterious aura drawing you in. Your eyes flickered to his lips, lingering on the silver ring that adorned them. You found yourself wondering what it would be like to kiss him, to feel the cool metal against your skin. Catching yourself, you quickly averted your gaze, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks. But the image remained, tantalizing and forbidden, at the edges of your mind. You tried to push the thought away, but it persisted, a silent acknowledgment of your growing desire.
Wooyoung's whispered words sent a shiver down your spine. "If there's something you want to do, you should act upon it," he murmured, leaning in closer. His head tilted slightly, his eyes never leaving yours. The intensity of his gaze made your breath catch in your throat. You felt a magnetic pull towards him, your heart racing as the space between you diminished. The air seemed to crackle with tension, and you found yourself drawn to his lips, that tantalizing lip ring catching the dim light of the train. Time seemed to slow as you hovered on the precipice of decision. Should you give in to the desire that had been building since this chance encounter began? Or was this moving too fast, too soon?
Wooyoung smiled lightly, his face so close you could feel his breath on your skin. The proximity made the lump in your throat grow, your heart racing with anticipation. His voice dropped to a low, intimate whisper as he asked, "Is it alright for me to touch you?" The question hung in the air between you, charged with tension and unspoken desire. You found yourself at a crossroads, torn between the thrill of the moment and the rational part of your mind reminding you that you'd just met. Your body seemed to lean towards him of its own accord, drawn by an inexplicable magnetism. You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. But it wasn't enough for Wooyoung. His eyes, dark and intense, bore into yours as he whispered, "I need to hear you actually say it." His voice was low, almost husky, sending a shiver down your spine. The anticipation hung thick in the air between you, every second stretching out like an eternity.
You swallowed hard, finding your voice. "Yes," you breathed, barely audible even in the quiet of the train car. "You can touch me." The words left your lips, a mix of nervousness and excitement coloring your tone. Wooyoung's eyes lit up, a slow smile spreading across his face as he leaned in even closer. Wooyoung's hand moved to your jaw, his touch gentle yet electrifying. His fingers caressed your cheek, the warmth of his skin sending shivers down your spine. Slowly, deliberately, he ran his thumb over your lower lip, the sensation causing you to tremble involuntarily. Your breath hitched, caught between anticipation and nervousness as you felt the intensity of his touch and gaze.
You closed your eyes, leaning in to close the distance between you. Your heart raced as you whispered, "You can kiss me now." The words hung in the air, charged with anticipation. You waited, breath held, for him to make his move. Wooyoung's breath hitched audibly, a soft exhale that you felt against your skin. There was a moment of stillness, the world seeming to pause around you. Then, with agonizing slowness, you felt him lean in. His lips brushed against yours, feather-light at first, testing. The cool metal of his lip ring sent a jolt through you, contrasting with the warmth of his mouth.
As if emboldened by your response, Wooyoung deepened the kiss. His hand cupped your face more firmly, fingers tangling in your hair. The kiss was a perfect blend of gentle and passionate, leaving you breathless. You could taste the hint of his earlier gum, with a hint of cigarettes. Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the moment, all thoughts of the train and your surroundings fading away.
Suddenly, a jolt from the train brought you both back to reality. You pulled away slightly, your cheeks flushed and your breath coming in short gasps. Wooyoung's eyes were dark with desire as he gazed at you, a small smile playing on his lips. The moment hung between you, charged with the thrill of newfound connection.
You looked out the window, suddenly realizing with a jolt that you recognized the station passing by. "It's my stop!" you shouted, jumping to your feet in a panic. You quickly unplugged your phone, then grabbed your suitcase and bag, heart racing as you rushed towards the doors.
Wooyoung's eyes widened in surprise, caught off guard by your sudden movement. "Wait—" he started to say, but you were already halfway down the aisle.
As you reached the doors, you turned back briefly, catching a glimpse of Wooyoung's bewildered expression. A mix of regret and excitement coursed through you as the train began to slow. The doors opened with a hiss, and you stepped out onto the platform, your mind reeling from the whirlwind encounter you'd just experienced. You stood there, catching your breath as the train doors closed behind you. Your heart was still racing, not just from the rush to exit, but from the intense encounter you'd just experienced. As you watched the train pull away, you couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever see Wooyoung again, or if this magical moment would remain just that—a fleeting connection in the night.
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msboookesh · 6 months ago
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hiding blues - js.h
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Pairing: idol!joshua x gn!reader
Genre: tooth-rotting fluff, bestfriends to lovers, love confession, kissing
Synopsis: On a cozy night with soft jazz, Joshua and you transform a peaceful reading session into a revelatory cuddle fest, showing that getting lost in each other’s arms is the best escape—much to the dismay of his nosy bandmates.
a/n: This story exists solely because Joshua's non-responsiveness and refusal to join SEVENTEEN's drinking escapades pushed me to.
୭🧷✧˚. ᵎᵎ🧁
The soft glow of the studio lights bathed the room in a warm, golden hue. You and Joshua were sprawled comfortably on the plush couch, the space around you a mix of cozy blankets and scattered books. The air was filled with the faint hum of a slow jazz playlist, a soundtrack that matched the tranquil vibe of the evening.
"Can you turn off your phone." Joshua groaned, his voice low and tinged with frustration as he tossed his phone into his bag with a sigh.
"Hmm. Why?" You asked, not lifting your gaze from the book you were deeply engrossed in.
"The members are calling me nonstop," Joshua muttered, his fingers running through the pages of the book you were reading before reluctantly setting it aside. "Once I don’t answer, they’ll start pestering you."
You looked up with a smirk, your socked feet resting casually on his lap. "Then why don’t you just answer?"
Joshua's eyes followed the playful movement of your feet as they brushed against his thigh. He sighed, a blend of exasperation and fondness coloring his tone. "It’s Jeonghan. He’s probably going to ask me out for drinks again. It’s always about drinking with those guys."
"Maybe they just missed you, Joshie." You said with a teasing smile, your eyes twinkling with mischief.
Joshua groaned dramatically, his large hands finding their way to your ankles, giving them a gentle, soothing massage. "Please! I see them every day. They bombard me with endless group chat messages and videos. I love them to death, but sometimes, they’re just too much."
You laughed softly, leaning into him as your fingers trailed absentmindedly over his arm. "You know, maybe you just like spending time with me more than them."
Joshua’s eyes met yours, a hint of something more intense flickering behind them. His hand slid up from your ankle to your calf, his touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary. "Is it that obvious?"
"Maybe," you murmured, your voice dropping to a softer, more intimate tone. You shifted closer, your body barely inches from his, the warmth of his presence enveloping you. "What’s wrong with that? We have fun together."
His gaze was fixed on you now, an intensity in his eyes that spoke volumes. His fingers moved slowly up to your thigh, his touch light but electric.
"It’s not just about having fun," he said quietly. "It’s… you make me forget everything else."
You tilted your head, your breath catching slightly as his fingers brushed against your skin. "And what’s that?"
Joshua's hand finally came to rest just below the hem of your shorts, his touch tantalizingly close to crossing a boundary.
"Everything," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "The stress, the noise, the pressure. When I’m with you, it’s like nothing else matters."
You leaned in closer, your face inches from his, the magnetic pull between you undeniable. Your fingers traced the line of his jaw, your touch feather-light. "You’re not the only one who feels that way."
Joshua’s eyes searched yours, his breath mingling with yours. "Really?"
"Really," you replied softly. The tension in the air was palpable, each moment stretching longer as you both lingered in the space between words. "I enjoy this—us—more than anything else."
Without breaking eye contact, Joshua's hand moved from your thigh to gently cup your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek. His lips hovered near yours, his breath warm and inviting.
"I’m glad," he murmured, his voice a husky whisper. "Because I don't think I could handle it if this was just one-sided."
You smiled, your lips brushing his ever so slightly, sending a shiver down your spine. "Trust me, it’s not."
The space between you closed rapidly as Joshua’s lips met yours in a slow, tender kiss. It was a kiss that spoke of unspoken affections, of late-night confessions, and of a bond that went beyond words. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, the warmth of his embrace a comforting contrast to the coolness of the room.
As the kiss deepened, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you wrapped in your own private haven. The sounds of the outside world, the incessant calls from his members, and the concerns of daily life all melted into the background, overshadowed by the intensity of the moment you shared.
When you finally pulled away, your faces flushed and breaths mingling, Joshua looked at you with a soft, satisfied smile. "I guess they’ll have to wait."
You grinned, your fingers still entwined with his. "Definitely."
Joshua chuckled softly, his forehead resting gently against yours. As you settled back into the warmth of his embrace, you knew that these moments, filled with unspoken affection and quiet intimacy, were what made everything else worthwhile. The world outside might be demanding and chaotic, but here, in the quiet comfort of your shared space, everything felt perfectly right.
・❥・
The next day, the studio buzzed with energy as the SEVENTEEN members prepared for the day’s shoot. Joshua entered, a little late, his hair tousled and his smile slightly strained.
"Look who finally decided to show up!" Seungcheol called out, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Did you get lost on the way to y/n ’s place again?"
Joshua rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the knowing glances from his bandmates. "Very funny, Seungcheol."
Jeonghan sauntered over, a grin playing on his lips. "You’re looking rather relaxed today, Josh. Did you have a nice night in?"
Joshua sighed, knowing where this was headed. "Let’s not do this again. I was just... spending some relaxing time."
Woozi raised an eyebrow, his voice dripping with amusement. "Is that what you’re calling it now? Relaxing time with y/n?"
Joshua tried to keep his composure, but a flush crept up his neck. "Can we focus on the shoot, please? I don’t need another round of this."
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wibben · 4 months ago
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Strange Bedfellows
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An overnight mission leaves Nanami and Higuruma sharing more than just a professional rivalry.
↳ pairing: hiromi higuruma x kento nanami
↳ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, bottom! higuruma, top! nanami, sexual tension, rivals to lovers, one-bed trope, pining, frottage, (m) mutual masturbation, sexsomnia, wet dreams, dry humping
↳ wc: 11,355
↳ notes: another ao3 cross-post! this was written for day 5 of @higunanaweek, and I think it's one of my favorites of the bunch! nanami art by @/xu_bx7 on twitter, higuruma art by @/amico173 on twitter
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“What do you mean there’s only one room?”
Higuruma’s voice cut through the sterile lobby air, sharp and unyielding. He stared down his nose at the nervous young woman behind the desk, shrewd, stern, who seemed to shrink under the weight of it. She wrung her hands, her brows knitting together in a silent plea for forgiveness as she fumbled for the right words. Her eyes flickered nervously between Higuruma and the glowing monitor, her lips parting in a desperate attempt to conjure an explanation.
“I—I… let me check again. I’m so sorry…”
“Please do.”
Higuruma exhaled a longsuffering sigh, the weight of his frustration settling deep in his weary bones. Leaning heavily on the reception counter, he pinched the bridge of his nose as the clatter of keys behind it grated on his nerves. It felt like the universe was conspiring against him today.
First, the car ride—a torturous stretch of road that seemed designed to fray his nerves with every bump and jolt. The mission briefing in his hands blurred in and out of focus, tense, unable to think with the silent, brooding wall beside him.
Poor conversation was made even worse by the fact that his companion’s silence wasn’t even peaceful. It was sharp-edged, judgmental, like he was silently cataloging Higuruma’s every fault and flaw before he’d managed to do anything. As if being cooped up in a car with someone like that for hours wasn’t bad enough, the higher-ups decided that person was to be his babysitter; as if he weren’t a grown man himself and so what if he’s new to jujutsu, he’s good at it—a prodigy even—and he gets jobs done and—
“I’m really sorry, sir, I only have one room for you.”
Well, shit.
Higuruma was a proud man, but even pride had its limits; and when it came to something like this he’d throw it to the wind. His fingers steepled before his face, his stress reaching a peak, tired eyes blew wide with exasperated pleading. “Please, you don’t understand—I need another room. Hell, I’ll sleep in the goddamn lobby. I just can’t be stuck with—”
“... Is there a problem?”
Higuruma stiffened, the roll of suitcase wheels on wooden boards sounding more like the drag of an executioner’s axe.
He turned to face Nanami, who carried their bags with the same unyielding stoicism that seemed a permanent feature of his countenance. The air of unflappable calm that surrounded him only grated further on Higuruma’s thread-bare nerves.
“I assume there’s a problem, for you to be bothering the front desk already.”
Higuruma shot him a look that clearly screamed: ‘of course there’s a fucking problem,’ but before he could put his irritation to words, the receptionist interjected.
She looked to Nanami with desperately friendly eyes, silently pleading that this man—the quieter one—might be less inclined to bite her head off. “I’m terribly sorry, sir. There’s been a mix-up with the bookings and we’re short a bunch of rooms. I only have one left…” She cast a nervous glance back at Higuruma, who looked positively steamed, then back at Nanami as he came to a stop at the desk.
A wave of annoyance and dismay washed over him, a cold tide that mercilessly drowned the small comforts he had carefully planned for the evening. He’d envisioned a quiet, solitary night—a long bath, the crisp pages of a book he’d been eager to start, and the simple pleasure of fresh bread from a bundle he had tucked into his bag. The prospect of sharing a room, and with someone as high-strung as Higuruma, was far from appealing.
“...I see.”
Higuruma’s frustration boiled over, though he kept his tone measured. “Is there really no other option? We’re here on important business and need proper accommodations.”
Nanami’s calm gaze shifted back to the receptionist, who looked as if she might melt into the floor under the weight of Higuruma’s glare. “We’ll take the room,” he spoke suddenly, spurred by pity for another of society's downtrodden, brooking no argument. “We don’t have time to find other lodgings.”
The young woman nodded quickly, relieved to have someone decisive to address. She offered the key to Nanami with a quickness, desperate to get it and them off her overworked and overtired hands.
Nanami accepted the key with a curt nod, passing it to Higuruma, who snatched it like it was the last scrap of his pride, muttering a stiff, “Thank you,” through clenched teeth. He looked for all the world like a deflated balloon, all the air of authority he usually carried now leaking out in a slow, miserable hiss.
Nanami adjusted his grip on their bags, the plastic handles groaning in protest under the weight of his hand. Of course something like this would happen. When it came to Higuruma, nothing ever went smoothly. The man had an uncanny knack for turning the simplest tasks into a tangled mess, stirring up trouble where there should be none.
If Nanami said left, Higuruma would inevitably go right. If he said up, Higuruma would dive down. It was as if the man took perverse pleasure in jamming the square block into the circle hole, and any attempt Nanami made to exert authority was met with the immovable resistance of a brick wall. Higuruma was a force of nature—unpredictable, uncontrollable, and more stubborn than any beast Nanami had ever encountered.
And that’s exactly why Nanami resented him.
He resented the higher-ups for thinking his diligence could somehow fix the unfixable, resented this ridiculous mission, resented this shit job—and most of all, he resented this shit inn, with its one-room nightmare.
Deep down, Nanami knew it wasn’t really Higuruma’s fault. But as they climbed the narrow staircase and navigated the threadbare halls, it was all too easy to shoot a derisive glance at him through the sea-glass green tint of his glasses, certain Higuruma’s mere presence had cursed them both.
Higuruma, for his part, was steeling himself, jaw set in determination. It was just one night, maybe two if the mission dragged on longer than expected. He resolved then and there to make it quick, no matter how much Nanami might chastise, berate, or hinder whatever methods he employed to get it done.
They reached their room,and Higuruma cupped the doorknob, giving it a jiggle before the door finally creaked open. He stepped forward, fully intending to hold the door for Nanami and the bags—because that was the polite thing to do. But all thoughts of courtesy evaporated as his stomach plummeted to and then through the floor.
Nanami, following close behind, nearly collided with Higuruma’s back. “Please keep moving—” he began, but the words stuck in his throat as his gaze locked onto the scene before them.
Their eyes hit the single bed simultaneously—pristine, white sheets meticulously tucked, and—was that champagne? Higuruma’s ears lit up red, heat crawling up his neck as mortification spread like wildfire. Rose petals? Was this some kind of sick joke? Blood pounded in his temples, the absurdity of standing in what was so clearly a honeymoon suite with Nanami making his skin crawl with blistering embarrassment.
“No, absolutely not.”
“…This is highly irregular—”
“—Unprofessional, more like—”
Higuruma shook his head in vehement denial, already turning on his heel and nearly colliding with Nanami’s chest in his haste. “I’ll go back to the lobby… there has to be something else… a coat closet, maybe—”
“Higuruma.” Nanami halted him firmly, blocking his path with the bastion of overnight bags hoisted upon flexed shoulders. He stared down his nose at Higuruma with a sternness that made the ex-attorney feel inexplicably cowed.
“I will not allow you to bother that girl again. We’ll make do.”
Higuruma’s attempts to leave, awkwardly failing to thread the needle around the wall that was Nanami, were halted when the man stepped past him and deeper into the room, taking his belongings hostage.
Nanami was the picture of calm. His movements deliberate, precise, each action executed with the same meticulous care he applied to everything. He entered the room with steady composure, placing his bag on the foot of the bed without a second glance at the rose petals scattered across the duvet or the champagne chilling in a silver bucket. To him, they might as well have been invisible.
He unzipped his bag and began to unpack, methodically unfolding his clothes for tomorrow and hanging them neatly in the closet. His fingers moved with the same practiced efficiency with which he approached all things, smoothing out any wrinkles with a quick, deft touch and brush of his hands over ironed fabric
Higuruma watched with the faintest quiver of his shoulders. The door was still open, and he stood closest to it. He had half a mind—no, closer to two-thirds of a mind—to just march back through it and bolt down the hall. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Not when Nanami was practically rubbing his unruffled feathers in his face, appearing so calm that it made him itch to piss him off, just to see if he could make Nanami crack, just to know there was a man beneath the metal.
Higuruma’s blood burned with staggish pride as he closed the door, a declaration if only to himself that he wouldn’t be outdone by a man who exists with a perpetual pole up his ass. He marched over and grabbed his own bag, dropping it on the bed beside Nanami’s and unzipped it with a flourish. Nanami paused his own unpacking, glancing sidelong; he isn’t oblivious to this dick-measuring competition Higuruma issued, even if he chooses not to rise to it.
And he chooses not to rise to it because he’s utterly horrified. A singular room was bad enough, a single bed even worse. But the room is flavored so intensely romantic, such a glaring breach in professionalism that he doesn’t know how he hasn’t fallen to his knees and wept. His outward serenity is tempered by holy rage, already considering how hot the coals would be that he intends to rake Ijichi over for this appalling mix-up.
Somewhere, many hours away back on campus, Ijichi shuddered.
The room misted thick with suffocating silence, disturbed only by the occasional rustle of fabric or the quiet thud of a drawer closing. Nanami took to ironing tomorrow's shirt with a precision just shy of obsessive, each stroke and hiss of the iron a desperate attempt to transfer the heat of his frustration to the steam billowing from the board. 
On the other side of the room, Higuruma pretended not to watch, busying himself with anything that kept his hands moving and his mind occupied. He found himself flipping through the pages of the complimentary Bible he’d pulled from the nightstand, not out of piety but sheer desperation for something, anything, to do. His devotion to distraction could almost be considered religious if one squinted.
The minutes dragged, each one heavier than the last. Nanami, finding himself finished with the shirt far too quickly, awkwardly shuffled a deck of cards he’d discovered in a drawer. The quiet slap of cardboard against cardboard only plucked at both mens nerves all the more.
So awkward was the silence, that even a practiced enjoyer of it such as Nanami finally felt the need to break it. “Are you… enjoying that? I didn’t take you for the type.” Nanami shot a pointed glance at the leather bound book in Higuruma’s hands.
“Riveting.” He grunted, not looking up.
Silence reigned once again.
The unbearable tension finally snapped, like a too-tight wire fraying under pressure. Nanami cleared his throat, and set the deck of cards down with an air of finality, as if conceding defeat to the invisible force between them. “I’ll go shower,” he announced, a shade too quickly, seriously considering drowning himself. He caught the absent hum of acknowledgment from Higuruma, who was still pretending to read the same line for the hundredth time.
Higuruma waited, counting the seconds until the distant sound of running water reached his ears, and then let out a long, shaky breath, his hands dropping the Bible like it burned him. His face fell into his palms, heart hammering against his ribs with the frenzied desperation of a caged animal, desperate to claw its way out. A low, rough groan rumbled in his throat as he scrubbed a weary hand over his face, trying to erase the relentless tension etched into every muscle before Nanami returned.
In the bathroom, Nanami pressed his forehead against the cold tile, water pouring over his bowed head. His hands braced against the wall, blunt nails digging into the slick surface in an effort to ground himself in the midst of this waking nightmare. His heart pounded with a cocktail of stress and humiliation so potent that it twisted his stomach to the point of nausea. He was horrified by the situation, mortified by the implications, and the longer he stood there, the more he questioned how he would ever face Higuruma again without wanting to crawl out of his own skin.
Nanami wasn’t a vain man. His appearance, in his mind, was a reflection of his dedication to the unremarkable—a clean, professional exterior polished just enough to blend into the background, to become one with the sea of suits and silent efficiency. He took a certain pride in this ordinariness, in presenting himself with a uniformity that drew no attention, commanded no second glance.
But there were simple standards he abided by, boundaries that should never be crossed. A colleague should never see him with his hair undone, loose and unkempt. A colleague should never see him outside of work. A colleague should certainly never see him in his sleepwear, prepared for bed, prepared to share a bed—
The thought struck like a blow to the gut, stopping him dead in his tracks, his breath catching so sharply that he inadvertently inhaled a mouthful of water. He choked, the sound quickly muffled into the crook of his muscled forearm as he hunched over, a silent curse slipping from his lips.
Fuck.
When Nanami finally emerged from the bathroom, it was with a gust of steam, a billowing cloud of vaporous heat that curled around his bare feet and clung to the frayed hem of his plaid linen pants. The transition from the damp warmth of the bathroom to the cooler air of the room sent a shiver up his spine, making him feel exposed, more so than even the loose drawstring of his pajama bottoms or his bare chest ever could.
His hair, usually meticulously combed, now hung damp and tousled, a rebellious mess that only added to the sensation of exposure gnawing at him, fraying the edges of his carefully constructed self-assurance. He stepped forward, gaze fixed resolutely ahead, avoiding Higuruma’s eyes as if by sheer will he could erase the fact that this—this woeful breach of boundaries—was happening at all.
But there were no eyes for Nanami to avoid. Higuruma’s back was turned, his shoulders hunched over a thick wooden desk on the opposite wall, swaying idly in the creaky rolling chair. The faint clink of ice in the bucket and the soft hiss of champagne fizzing to life came from his side of the room. Higuruma’s arm shot up in a lazy backwards greeting, bottle neck firmly gripped, the champagne already half-drunk straight from the source. A decidedly unromantic way to enjoy the drink—about the only thing in this entire mess that seemed fittingly appropriate.
“Ah—good. I was starting to think you’d died in there—” Higuruma grunted with weary annoyance, spinning himself further in the chair to cast what would have been a bemused glance toward Nanami—if he weren’t suddenly so focused on keeping the champagne from erupting and scorching his throat and nose, nearly choking on the frothy surge at the sight of him.
Like this, Nanami appeared strikingly younger. His usual air of immaculate professionalism was absent, leaving him looking closer to his actual age—or at least, what Higuruma guessed his age to be, since their exchanges had rarely ventured beyond barbed remarks. 
Without the constriction of his suit and carefully combed hair, his features softened, the severe lines of his face yielded to be almost approachable. His hair was tousled, the wet strands clinging together, a stray towel draped haphazardly over bare and broad shoulders.
“Unfortunately I did not.”
When their eyes met, there was a moment of shared surprise; both men reflexively turned away, Higuruma back to the desk and Nanami towards the bed. Nanami ran a hand through his hair, his bicep flexing with the motion as he grimaced in embarrassment, hidden from view. 
Nanami slipped into the bed, the crisp sheets rustling softly as he maneuvered himself under them. He pulled the covers up to his chin, as though the fabric might offer some shield against the awkwardness that turns the air humid. For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of the air conditioning, and the glassy grind of the champagne bottle as Higuruma shuffled it back and forth between uncertain hands.
After a long stretch of silence, Nanami finally broke it, his voice nasally and rough as he reached for his book on the nightstand. “Thank you.”
Higuruma flinched, snapping out of his thoughts. “For?”
Nanami sighed, the sound heavy with the weight of his own reluctant gratitude. He hesitated, debating if it was even worth acknowledging, but eventually gave in. “For cleaning up the… mess,” he added with a rueful grimace. The rose petals that had once littered the mattress and floor were nowhere to be seen.
“It’s much better.”
Higuruma let out a low, dismissive noise, flicking his wrist as if to swat away the words. No, he’d rather not think about the rose petals—or the fact that he’d scrabbled on hands and knees to pick them up, one by one, and buried them at the bottom of the trash bin like some feral teenage secret. 
So he changed the subject with a sledgehammers subtlety, taking a deep breath and stealing a glance at Nanami who seemed effortlessly absorbed in his novel. The bedside lamp cast a warm glow over his damp hair, burning it a darkened gold. And maybe he was drunker than he realized, because the sudden urge to cross the room, crawl onto the mattress, and run his fingers through that hair hits him like a freight train—
“I’m taking the chair,” he blurted out, meeting Nanami’s gaze, both of them equally startled by the sudden declaration. “If you wouldn’t mind just sparing a pillow.”
Nanami frowned, nudging his glasses higher to peer over the top of his book. “Absolutely not,” he said firmly. “You’ll injure your back and be a liability to the mission. You’re sleeping in the bed.”
Higuruma’s lips pressed into a thin line, bristling indignantly. “My back will be just fine, thank you very much.” Though he wasn’t so sure he could say the same tomorrow after carrying the weight of this entire mission. 
“Look, I don’t need you to babysit me,” Higuruma continued on. “I can handle myself just fine.”
Nanami simply shook his head, infuriatingly calm. “You’re being reckless. You always are. That’s why you’re stuck with me in the first place—to keep you from getting yourself killed.” 
Nanami spoke so certainly, so matter of factly, as if it were a guarantee that Higuruma would sooner or later stumble and need a pair of experienced hands to catch him, that it made Higuruma see red. He bristled, nose curled with bitter defiance. “Reckless? Please. You play it too safe all the time, Nanami. That doesn’t make you better equipped, that makes you boring.”
“I’m not here to be exciting. I’m here to do my job without unnecessary risks,” Nanami shot back, his tone icy. “And right now, the only unnecessary risk is you trying to sleep in that chair and harming yourself.”
Higuruma’s jaw clenched, his irritation mounting with every word Nanami spoke. “I don’t need your approval to do my job. Maybe I’d be better off without you hovering over me.”
Nanami’s grip on his book tightened, his patience wearing thin. “You’re a loose canon, Higuruma. And I refuse to let you put me in harm's way just because you think you’re invincible.”
“Maybe I am invincible! Maybe I don’t need you watching over my shoulder every second. I’ve got this handled. I don’t need you or your damn bed—”
“You do need the bed, and you’re going to sleep in it,” Nanami interrupted, his voice firm, cutting through Higuruma’s tirade like the blunt blade he himself wields. “I won’t have your blood on my hands because you decided to be stubborn.”
Higuruma opened his mouth to argue again, but the conviction in Nanami’s tone gave him pause. As much as he hated to admit it, there was a kernel of truth in what Nanami said. He knew he was capable, but the last thing he wanted was to end up injured—or worse, dead—because of something as stupid as a lack of sleep or a slipped disk. He wouldn’t allow Nanami the satisfaction.
He met Nanami’s eyes the entire time as he stood and stalked over to the bed, each step slow and deliberate, like he was daring Nanami to say something. The air was thick with tension, a silent standoff where neither man seemed willing to back down. But Nanami just watched him, calm as ever, that infuriating poker face giving nothing away; an icy counter to Higuruma’s fiery defiance.
Higuruma yanked back the covers with a quick, sharp flick, keeping his gaze locked on Nanami’s. He slipped into bed, making a show of settling as far from Nanami as humanly possible. The mattress dipped under his weight, the distance between them barely a foot, but it felt like mere centimeters with how he’s immediately engulfed in Nanami’s furnace-like body heat beneath the covers.
Nanami didn’t rise to the challenge, but he didn’t bow to it either. He held Higuruma’s gaze with an unflinching steadiness, an unspoken acknowledgment of the battle being fought in silence. Neither blinked, neither wavered, ever the unmovable object to Higuruma’s unstoppable force.
But for now, at least, he was in the bed. And that, Higuruma told himself, was his decision. Not Nanami’s.
He finally turned away, his back to Nanami, but the so-called victory left a sour taste in his mouth. “Sanctimonious prick,” Higuruma grumbled, voice tight as he yanked the sheet up to his shoulders, frustration knotting bitterly in his chest.
Without warning, Nanami snapped his book shut, the sharp clap of it cutting through Higuruma’s grating rant. His patience, thin as it was, finally wore through after the fifth attempt to read the same damn paragraph. He didn’t bother with words, just rolled over and clicked off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.
“Insufferable egoist,” he muttered, voice low and rough with irritation.
It was as close to a ‘goodnight’ as either of them was willing to offer.
The room simmered in the thick silence left in the wake of their argument, the air steeped with the remnants of their spat. Neither of them moved, both stubbornly clinging to their respective sides of the bed, the earlier heat cooling into uneasy embers buried beneath ash.
Higuruma’s fists slowly loosened their death grip on the sheets. He could feel the frustration ebbing away, replaced by a dull, persistent slightly-buzzed fatigue that tugged at him, heavy and insistent. His eyelids grew heavier, his breath evening out against his will, and before he could fight it, sleep crept in, stealing him away with the last lingering traces of his irritation.
Across the bed, Nanami lay unmoving, his eyes locked on the ceiling, unblinking as the minutes stretched into what felt like hours. He listened, every slight sound amplified in the stillness—Higuruma’s breaths gradually deepening, the rustle of sheets as he shifted in his sleep, the steady drone of the AC that filled the gaps in the silence.
It wasn’t until he heard Higuruma sigh softly in his sleep, a sound so unguarded and peaceful that it almost startled him, that Nanami finally felt the first threads of his tension begin to unwind. The rigid lines of his shoulders softened, his body easing into the mattress as the room exhaled around them. It wasn’t a competition to see who could outlast the other, but he’d won it anyway.
The darkness shifted, becoming less of a burden and more of a balm, lulling him into a state of reluctant relaxation. Only then, after what felt like an eternity, did Nanami allow his eyes to close, surrendering to the slow, inevitable pull of sleep as it finally claimed him too.
The night wore thick with hurricane's-eye quiet, the sort that made every small sound swell. Every sniff, every slight shift of mattress springs, every rustle and tug on the blanket was a gunshot in the dark, unheard by either of them through the veil of unconsciousness. The tension from before had finally ebbed, leaving the room heavy with uneasy peace that would last until daybreak; until they woke and remembered themselves and, unfortunately, remembered each other.
Higuruma’s sleep was restless, warped by murky and unpredictable dream logic. He was a tired man, worn down and beaten to a vaguely human-shaped pulp by each day's end, and so he didn’t often dream. His brain struggled with the unfamiliarity, twisting in dissonant directions that blurred the lines between reality and nonsense.
It’s just his luck that tonight he dreams, and of course he couldn’t escape Nanami, even there.
“...Guilty!”
Judgeman’s voice rang with authority, echoing off the dreamscape walls of the courtroom. Higuruma stared at Nanami on the stand, whose eyes flickered with something between disbelief and annoyance.
Higuruma could feel a vicious pride swelling in his chest as Judgeman called the verdict. It didn’t matter what Nanami had done—whether he’d swiped a candy bar from a corner store or toppled an empire; it was all irrelevant. The sweet thrill of victory was what he savored. This was his domain, a theater of justice where every misstep Nanami had ever made played on an endless loop for Judgeman to scrutinize.
Nanami sighed, pushing the bridge of his glasses with a practiced flick to nudge them higher up his nose. “That’s hardly fair, Higuruma. This is your dream, after all—”
“Ah, ah,” Higuruma interrupted, eyes narrowing into glittering slits as he held up a hand in triumph, silencing Nanami's protest with a smug grin. No, he would be savoring this victory, even if only in the recesses of his subconscious. Here, his word was law, and Nanami was the subject of his courtroom drama.
Confiscation? Death penalty? Higuruma’s mind raced through the possibilities, savoring each like a connoisseur sampling a fine wine. For as much as Nanami grated on his nerves, he sincerely hoped it wouldn't be the latter—the man doesn’t need to die for being a snobbish, holier-than-thou, mother hen—
“Kiss.”
What?
“What?”
Nanami’s voice mirrored Higuruma’s thoughts perfectly, both snapping to attention, eyes wide as they turned to the shikigami that hovered kite-like and oppressive just behind Higuruma. Judgeman, with its impassive stitched gaze and cryptic presence, remained ever silent, the verdict and the punishment both declared. Its job was done and would not be repeated.
The absurdity of it all tickled at the edges of his consciousness, tugging at a laugh that threatened to spill over. A kiss? In the grand theater of his mind, that was the punishment meted out by his subconscious?
He’s somewhat offended by himself that kissing him would be so bad as to be deemed corporal.
But when he turned back to Nanami, he found the man already watching him with a steady gaze. Prideful as ever, chin held high, Nanami stared Higuruma down with a confidence that skirted dangerously on the edge of intimidating—a quality that was indeed daunting in the waking world, if he were honest with himself. Arms crossed and seemingly unbothered by the verdict, Nanami cocked his head. “So, are you coming to me, or shall I come to you?”
Higuruma stared.
And then he stared a little longer. This was undoubtedly the weirdest dream he’d ever had.
True to life, his hackles raised at Nanami’s challenge, a gauntlet thrown down between them, and Higuruma’s alcohol-thinned blood simmered beneath his skin. Nanami had a way of forcing him to bend the knee, but not this time. Not here.
Higuruma descended from his platform, leather shoes clicking sharply over the polished stone tile as he stalked toward Nanami’s stand. He propped a foot on the bottom rung, hoisting himself up and curled his hands around the mahogany railing that separated them. Braced on strangely sweaty palms, he leaned forward, almost nose-to-nose with Nanami now.
In the dark of the hotel room beneath chilled sheets, Higuruma shifted, rolling to his other side with an outstretched leg to knock socked-toes against Nanami’s ankle.
Nanami's eyes gleamed with a challenge as he reached over the railing, fingers curling into Higuruma's shirt, yanking him forward with surprising strength. Their lips crashed together, a collision of heat that sent a jolt through Higuruma's dream-self.
The intensity of it took him off guard, the force of Nanami’s mouth on his leaving Higuruma reeling. This was meant to be punitive, a slap on the wrist—or lips, rather—but it was hard to remember why when Nanami kissed him like this.
Champagne and mint.
He couldn’t possibly know what Nanami tasted like, so his mind helpfully supplied the sharp concoction from his own tongue. His hands moved before his mind could catch up, tangling in Nanami’s hair and pulling him closer, pressing deeper into the kiss. There was something beneath all that resentment—a spark, a flicker of treacherous attraction Higuruma had never let himself consider. But it was there, buried under a mountain of irritation and petty grievances.
The kiss morphed, a messy thing turned messier and god, Higuruma didn’t ever want it to end. He hadn’t known he wanted this at all and if he won’t remember this when he wakes he’ll make the most of it now. Higuruma’s grip tightened, pulling Nanami in, erasing the line between them until it didn’t matter where one began and the other ended. There’s a vibration in his mouth—a groan, he thinks—but from who he wasn’t sure.
Higuruma was lost in the dream, and his body was quick to betray him in the waking world with shameful ferocity. Unconsciously he inched closer until he was pressed snug against Nanami, his body seeking the flesh-warmth he so reveled in within his dreamt domain. His arm hooked lazily around Nanami’s middle, nose pressed tight into a prickling honey-blonde undercut.
His hips jerked, orbiting in uncoordinated circles. It was sloppy, a messy grind choked by rust and time-lost inexperience, devoid of rhythm but steeped in the urgency of need. The friction, the coarse slide of fabric against fabric, was enough to quicken his breath and set his blood thrumming. Nanami’s thigh was warm enough, firm enough, and it penetrated that purgatorial barrier with enough ease that it didn’t matter to him one bit.
Nanami woke slowly, dragging himself out of sleep with sandy slowness, eyelids heavy and mind sluggish as he blinked against the groggy blur. It wasn’t the usual sounds that roused him—no birds chirping, no insistent alarm beep—but rather the disorienting sensation of near-perfect darkness that left him momentarily unsure if his eyes were even open, and warmth and pressure tugging him further into awareness.
His brow furrowed in confusion as the warmth pressed against him again, incoordinate and inconsistent, paired with the soft, breathy exhale of something that sounded suspiciously like a sleep-garbled attempt at his name, the unmistakable hardness nestled against his hip—
The sluggish cogs in Nanami’s brain started to click into place, oil applied to bleary gears, and when the reality hit him it hit him like a bullet.
Oh. Oh.
His eyes snapped so wide they hurt, panic flooding his system and catching his breath in an iron fist to be yanked forcefully down his tight throat. Higuruma ground against him again, and Nanami should move, should stop him from embarrassing himself.
But worse yet—much worse—was that Nanami didn’t want to stop him. His thickening cock was proof of that, treacherous was the growing tent in his pants that made frenzied sweat bead on his bare chest. Mortification clawed at him, it left him paralyzed.
This couldn’t be happening
“Higuruma,” Nanami croaked, voice thick with sleep and arousal that settled so hot and heavy over his brain that he couldn’t begin to school it out of his tone. He shook him, a bit too roughly in his haste, desperate to stop this before it spiraled any further out of control. “Higuruma, wake up.”
Higuruma grumbled, fingers tightening their burial in wrinkled linen sheets when they failed to find purchase on the smooth skin of Nanami’s arm. His head bowed, tucked low and determined as he rutted against Nanami again, mouth pulled taut with displeasure as the source of the warmth grew firmer and less pliable, more distant, and he’s shaken.
Higuruma’s eyes cracked open, rolling white as he’s gracelessly tugged from his dream. He could cry, he wants to claw it back until it’s marked with the blunt bite of his nails, hoarding it jealously in his mind where none may take it and none may know. So desperate is he to keep the slipping memory alive and in his grasp, to hold possessively to the fabricated flesh memory that his eyes slip closed again—until his name is barked into his ear like a clap of thunder.
He blinked, suddenly much more awake, sleeps fog lifting as if he were hot pavement, and with that heat comes the cold, cruel, crushing weight of reality. The heat was not his own, and his eyes were filled with the dark silhouette of a muscular back and half turned shoulder. The weight against his front, another's leg pinned between his own, the pressure against his fully erect member—though it isn’t rare for Higuruma to suffer from morning wood—it isn’t morning, nor is he alone.
He froze, horrified as the reality of his situation dawned clear, sentenced under the weight of his own dreamt gavel.
Oh no. Oh god, oh fuck, no.
Panic surged through him with the violence of a live-wire. Higuruma practically convulsed with his clawing to escape, scrambling back and almost tumbling off the bed in his rush to put much needed space between them. Sheets tangle in his legs, yanking them free from Nanami who jerks in response, grabbing a pillow and forcing it tightly down over his own lap.
“I—oh my god, I’m so sorry—didn’t mean to… fuck, shit—I wasn’t—” The words tumbled in a frantic stream from Higuruma’s mouth, mortification burning through him like wildfire, setting each nerve ablaze until his whole body grew slick with terror-induced sweat. It left him dizzy and desperate to crawl into a hole and disappear forever, and he knew he should’ve slept in the fucking chair—
Nanami’s silence was deafening, but it wasn’t the steady, composed kind that Higuruma had come to expect. No, this was an awkward, uncertain sort. The kind that made Higuruma’s stomach hurt—he expected Nanami to punch him with every second that ticked by without a word, and god he would deserve it, would relish it even as some sort of penance for this egregious trampling of bounds and he’s sure Nanami feels absolutely sick.
But Nanami would not punch Higuruma, nor would he speak. Nanami is a quiet man, but that has always been by choice. For the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words. Everything he should say flees him, anything he could say slips like water between his fingers, and everything he wants to say simply isn’t an option. He struggles to process the situation, but his body certainly doesn’t, cock hard and insistent against his thin pants and pillow shield.
Higuruma wanted to die. He wanted to sink into the earth and never be seen again. But more than that, he wanted to forget that he’d been grinding on Nanami like some desperate animal in heat, laying bare something he hadn’t known he wanted in the most humiliating way possible.
“I’m so sorry,” Higuruma repeated, voice shaky and impossibly small in the dark. His heart beat erratically, pounding behind his ribs with a concerning force—maybe he’ll have a heart attack, drop dead right then and there and that would be merciful, wouldn’t it? He felt like a fool, an absolute idiot, and the shame was suffocating, and he’s wholly undeserving of Nanami’s forgiveness but he silently pleads for it anyways. Forgiveness, punishment in the way of a broken nose, he would accept it all but this silence eroded his nerves down to the quick and made him nauseous.
Nanami finally spoke, his voice low and uncertain, as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. “It’s… fine,” said through clenched teeth, though his expression was anything but. His brow furrowed, caught between confusion and the unwelcome heat simmering beneath his skin, emotions tangled and unspooled messily and he couldn’t begin to figure out how to put them back together.
Both stared up at the ceiling, hearts jackhammered against their cages in a way that may have been bonding—this shared feeling of horror—if not for the gulf forcibly carved between them via blank mattress space. Higuruma allowed himself to be lost in the sea of white linen sheets where he hoped to drown, and Nanami clutched to the raft that was the downy pillow locked very conspicuously over his lap.
Both willed their very obvious predicaments to go away, but thinking about them only made it worse. Unsexy thoughts didn’t work, when the only thought either of them had was about the ache between their legs, and Nanami considered how much easier it would’ve been to not have woken Higuruma at all and slipped away to the bathroom, jerking himself to calmness in a harried palm; while Higuruma wonders how thick the glass of the nearby window is, and if he might be able throw himself through it.
He chanced a glance at Nanami, eyes skittering surreptitiously in the dark. Bare chested and devoid of the blanket, one knee bent upward with a forearm flung over his forehead, Higuruma is just as quick to look away because fuck had Nanami always looked so good? Surely not, surely it’s just the dark, and the residuals of a dream he should never have had and would never have had if not for the alcohol in his system, but he looked good and the pillow in his lap makes Higuruma want to move it to see what’s underneath—
His gaze flickered downward, inexorably drawn to the pillow where his heart thumps overtime. Oh fuck.
Higuruma is a man. He’s fully aware of the tricks he might deploy and has deployed in a situation like this. His old desk made for great cover when his body went neglected in favor of late nights pouring over cases, cock thickened and twitching down the seam of his thigh. A well placed file, though more obvious, could serve just as well until he had a chance to adjust himself. A clipboard, his coat slung over his arm, a pillow—
Higuruma’s eyes zeroed in on the pillow perched awkwardly on Nanami’s lap, a wordless understanding crashing over him that leaves him breathless. It was a man’s intuition, the kind that muddled both heads—the one on his shoulders running on empty, while the other swelled with smug satisfaction. Nanami was just as affected, and Higuruma felt his cock give a hopeful jump that maybe not all was lost… what else does he have to lose with his dignity already in shambles?
An idea—stupid and reckless—flashed through Higuruma’s mind, and he couldn’t quite quash it, couldn’t quite suppress the tiny flicker of something that wasn’t quite panic and wasn’t quite desire. Maybe it was madness. Maybe he’d finally lost it.
“Nanami—”
“Excuse me,” Nanami interrupted, palm clasped tight over his mouth and nose, and shuffled to the edge of the mattress with jerky and robotic movements. Feet hit the floor and he bent, shoulders hunched and muscles tense as he prepared to force himself up and away as quickly as possible. But before he could make his escape, Higuruma’s hand shot out, clutching Nanami’s wrist in a desperate grip.
“Wait,” Higuruma gasped, voice barely registering above a whisper, inaudible above the pounding of his own heart. This was stupid, mortifyingly so, but somehow the idea grew legs and ran from his mind and out of his mouth before he could stop it.
Nanami doesn’t turn, but he freezes, paused and straining but not pulling away.
Higuruma’s eyes are wide and pleading, thoughts spiraled to oblivion with not a hope in hell of getting them back. “What if—” he swallowed. “We could—maybe we could…?”
The words slipped out before he could think better of them, and he cursed himself for being so weak, so utterly incapable of keeping his treacherous mouth shut. He wanted to take them back, swallow them down and pretend they’d never existed.
If Nanami could grow stiffer, he did. His shoulders expanded with the slow sucking inhale he pulled between his teeth. So too stiffened the turgid length between his legs, hard enough that he feels he might bore a hole through the pillow in his lap.
He feels like a teenager. Feral, and stupid, and so wildly out of control. Higuruma can’t say that. He can’t say things like that because if he does then Nanami wouldn’t be able to quash the thoughts of agreeing out of his head. And he can’t agree. They’re coworkers, and in some strange sense Higuruma is a mentee. His stubborn, infuriating, good-for-nothing, good looking, hopelessly distracting mentee.
Higuruma stared, Nanami avoided, reaching that familiar impasse but this time was unlike any other. “Wildly inappropriate—” Nanami muttered. “Ridiculous. I can’t believe you would even—absolutely not, no—”
“Fuck, say it again.”
Higuruma froze, his grip on Nanami’s wrist tightening. “Say what?” he ventured.
Nanami didn’t turn, but even in the dark Higuruma could see the muscles in his back twitch. Where Higuruma saw anger, Nanami felt restraint. Horror… temptation. Disgust… desire.
“Tell me what you want.” Nanami elaborated, voice breathless from the oxygen that flees his lungs and head, and with it goes his last chance to flee as well. Nanami is not a spontaneous man, but the act of surrender, of slipping the leash choked so tightly by his own hand, was nothing short of euphoric. This would be enough, even if nothing more—
Higuruma’s breath caught, snagged and lured on every word Nanami spoke, and every insult he didn't. He dared to let his grip slip on Nanami’s wrist, the calloused tips of his fingers brush over the sensitive inner skin beneath his palm, marveling at the veins and tendons that flex under his touch. Nanami didn’t pull away, and Higuruma almost groaned when he felt Nanami’s fingers twitch, moving to loosely tangle with his own. “I…”
Higuruma found himself lost for words. A rarity for him. “I, ah—you.”
Nanami’s blood roared in his ears. Yes, yes, oh fuck yes please—
“Can I… can I touch you…? I’m so sorry—fuck, we can just go to sleep, this is too awkward—”
No, no, no.
Higuruma’s grip slackened on Nanami’s wrist and retracted back into his own space. Nanami wasn’t sure what compelled him, a sudden surge of panic powered his body without his input and he twisted, spun around to face Higuruma who flinched with the surprise of it. He grabbed Higuruma's arm, holding his elbow, his other hand braced atop Higuruma’s knee through the blanket. He hadn’t meant to touch him, but he can’t find it in himself to move his hand either.
“No, please wait.”
They both stared face to face now, the dark doing little to conceal the burning red that stained both of their faces. Nanami felt that same panic slither down his throat—Higuruma stared at him, expectant, and now he had to be the one to push. Nanami silently cursed the way his hands shook as they drifted down Higuruma’s arm, loosely circling his wrist and drawing his hand to his chest.
His heart pounded violently, a dying animal trying to escape his ribcage for somewhere safer than inside him. “...Touch me.”
The air whistled from Higuruma’s nose, shaky palm and splayed fingers pressed against the bared skin he hadn’t known existed before a few short hours ago. His hand doesn’t move, frozen and paralytic as skittish eyes flicked up to meet Nanami’s for approval that he’d already received.
Stone faced as ever, Nanami made every effort to soften his edges. His brows lowered light and gentle, and his lips twitched in a rare up-tick, a hesitant smile and Higuruma had never seen such a thing on the man's face before. “Do you not want to…?” Nanami’s fingers brushed lightly over the fine bones that latticed the back of Higuruma’s hands.
“I…” Higuruma’s tongue was still struck dumb, breathless at the hot feel of skin beneath his palm. How long had it been since he’d touched somebody? Since he’d wanted to touch Nanami?
It crashed upon him, the realization that he’d buried after their first introduction was exchanged months ago, and every exchange since being one of barely restrained dislike at best. Even back then, and every time after, he wished circumstances were different; because truth be told, he thought he could like Nanami. His ideals, his determination, his ethics—they had all the ingredients to make for good friends.
They might have met over coffee or a drink stronger than espresso, they could’ve bickered over bread brands at the grocery store rather than how to best safeguard their lives. If things had been different, maybe they could’ve been different too.
It scared him, this sudden epiphany that he may have been wrong—or worse, a fool.
“I shouldn’t,” he whispered.
“That’s irrelevant and not what I asked,” Nanami insisted firmly. He gave Higuruma’s hand a small push, guiding it against his sternum and sliding slightly lower. He wasn’t sure where his sudden boldness came from—maybe it was the exhaustion, or the fact that the blood in his head had fully migrated south to his cock and that’s the head he was thinking with.
Maybe it’s because he’d dropped the pillow in his haste, and Higuruma’s eyes dropped with it to sweep shamelessly along his erection. There’s a savage pride Nanami harvests from Higuruma’s eyes, black as oil but far more valuable.
“Do you want to?” He repeats, eyes piercing, impeaching.
The look in Nanami’s eyes, the loosening of the harsh lines of his face in favor of an uncertain smile, all things point to this not being the trap Higuruma was half convinced it must be. There was no fist imbued with licking blue flames crashing into his nose or mouth, no vitriol spat for him being some sort of accidental pervert… it was okay. It was actually okay.
“Fuck yes, Nanami. I want to.” Higuruma gasped, and it was as if a spell had broken. For the first time since their meeting, they were finally on the same line of the same page. Higuruma’s hand drifted lower over the firm planes of Nanami’s abs, muscles flexing beneath his touch as Nanami moved to mount Higuruma’s thigh, wedging his own between the other man's legs. In sync, they moved with the same determined purpose.
Nanami’s head dipped, casting a shadow over Higuruma’s face before sealing out that little light entirely with the first tentative brush of their lips. He can feel the shake of Nanami’s muscled shoulders as he hovers, holding his weight high above Higuruma and those tremors reflect in the satin softness of lips he’d only ever seen pulled taut and disapproving.
What Nanami offered as a gentle introduction, a second chance at first impressions, Higuruma took and ran like a wild dog. His hand not currently entrenched within the lines of Nanami’s abs curled into bed-mussed blonde hair and pulled him down, delighting in his surprised grunt.
The kiss Higuruma sought was painted with the same brush as his dream. Angry, aggressive, hungry—but Nanami would have none of that. He wrenched himself away with a breathless bark, lips curled in the widest smile Higuruma had seen yet which almost soothed the sting of having been rejected. “Easy,” he murmured, pressing his nose to the corner of Higuruma’s mouth instead. “There’s no need to rush.”
Higuruma snorted, not the derisive and bitter sound Nanami was used to but the prelude to what would quickly evolve into a gravelly full-belly chuckle. Wonderful, Nanami thought. Higuruma had a wonderful laugh… he would like to hear it more. “Sorry,” he offered. “Must be the champagne.”
“Mmm—” Nanami hummed spiced with mirth, unconvinced as his lips returned to Higuruma’s. “Must be.”
Despite the tentativeness and undeniable awkwardness of fumbling with an unfamiliar body in the dark, they found themselves eventually moving in sync, as if they hadn't spent months just barely tolerating each other.
They fit together easily, Higuruma’s nose brushing and bent against Nanami’s cheek while Nanami savored the lingering taste of champagne on his tongue. There was an unspoken synergy that had always been there, simmering beneath the surface, if only they hadn’t been so stubbornly blind to it.
The world narrowed to a gravity of their own making, a push and pull just as they’d always been but devoid of the friction that left their edges rough and raw. Smooth stones in a riverbed their mouths tumbled, exploratory lips and tongues as they mapped this uncharted territory, thorough and thirsty and uncompromising in this burning consumption of each other.
Higuruma nipped at Nanami’s lip, grinning against his mouth as the subsequent gasp allowed his tongue to slip beside his.
He felt like a teenager again. Higuruma isn’t old but the heart-pounding anticipation in his chest is that of a much younger man. His eyes cracked open to admire Nanami, only for his heart to judder in his chest to find their eyes locked. Lost in the hot whiskey depths of Nanami’s gaze, half-lidded and more relaxed than Higuruma had ever seen him.
He wondered if it had been as long for Nanami as it had for him—if Nanami needed this as desperately as he did. He wondered if Nanami’s eyes stayed open out of concern that he might disappear out from beneath him, just as Higuruma feared he might still be dreaming after all.
Nanami’s hand drifted along his arm, fingers tangled and plaited together and pinned above Nanami’s chest. He gets his answer then in the erratic rhythm beneath his palm, pulse vibrating as desperate as his own. Nanami shares his vulnerability wordlessly—he isn’t as unaffected as he seems.
Nanami guided his hand lower, Higuruma’s fingers twitching and sandwiched between Nanami’s broader hand and the board of muscles beneath. Lower, and lower still, Nanami doesn’t break eye contact as he pressed Higuruma’s hand hard against his straining erection with a low groan, eyes closed with the instant relief of such a small touch.
Higuruma’s eyes leave him in favor of watching his own hand, the experience is almost out of body, his hand operated and guided by a force separate from himself. His anxiety left him then, replaced by a hunger that gnawed with vicious teeth at his belly.
His fingers curled instinctively, catching the fabric of Nanami’s pants with a sharp tug—pulling them down without resistance.
Nanami’s cock sprung upward, smacking against his stomach, bobbing and leveling at Higuruma in accusation. Thick and long and engorged an angry red from inattention, Higuruma decided with humor that Nanami’s dick looks a lot like the man himself. Big, and angry, and something he suddenly and desperately and carnally wants in his mouth.
For as long as Higuruma stared, Nanami looked down at him with the first inklings of trepidation. He’s staring, but he isn’t touching—is he displeased? Inadequate? Nanami’s eyes searched Higuruma’s face, flicking between his eyes and the neutral set of his mouth—should he kiss him again?
Insecurity made for the catalyst that flew his mind back to him. Maybe this was a mistake. Nanami swallowed, throat bobbing as his lips part with apology (for what, he doesn’t know but was resolved to figure it out), he started to withdraw—
At the same moment the wires connect in Higuruma’s brain that this was actually happening and hungry fingers finally reach out, tracing Nanami’s cock from ball to tip and cupping his palm over the sensitive head.
Nanami’s hips buck, lashes fluttering and a surprised groan ripped from his chest as he collapsed down onto his elbow, barely catching himself from crushing Higuruma beneath his full weight. His withdrawal was halted, finding himself shoving forward into Higuruma’s hand instead of away.
With a newfound confidence, Higuruma wrapped his fingers around Nanami’s cock, marveling at the velvety smoothness of the skin stretched taut over rigid flesh. He felt Nanami’s pulse beneath his fingertips, a steady beat that mirrored his own racing heart. Higuruma’s grip tightened slightly, earning him a deep, rumbling moan that made his skin tingle and his own cock throb with need.
“Fuck,” he cursed, forcing his lids back open—he looked between Higuruma’s eyes, beetle-black and flashing like flint in the dark, darting between his hungry stare and the connection between their bodies, the slow slide of Higuruma’s grasp around his cock. He doesn’t know where he’d rather look, or how to unknit his eyebrows, or how to stop the gravitational pull of his mouth back to Higuruma’s with desperate insistence.
His tongue teased the seam of Higuruma’s lips, coaxing his mouth open and Higuruma was quick to oblige. Their tongues tangled, and this time Nanami did nothing to chill the heated fervor with which Higuruma drank him in. His fingers dug into the pillow beside Higuruma’s head, muscles flexed and veins bulged as he fought to keep from losing himself in Higuruma’s hand so soon.
Some things would never change, the hot spirit of prideful competition blazed in Nanami’s blood and his hand drifted, dragging with obvious intent down Higuruma’s body, leaving more than enough time for him to be shoved off, to be stopped, but it never came. He needed Higuruma to cum first. Nanami refused to accept otherwise.
He palmed the bulge through Higuruma’s pants, swallowing the earned gasp down his throat and breaking the kiss just long enough to ask: “S’this okay?”
Higuruma nodded so hard he feared his head might snap off his shoulders.
Nanami hummed his acknowledgment, dipping his head away from Higuruma’s mouth to plant kisses along his jaw, leading back towards his ear to nuzzle against the sensitive hinge, buried against the clinging spice of yesterday's cologne and aftershave, and Nanami’s brain goes a bit fuzzy.
Soft skin and downy hair tickle his nose, nibbling distractingly at Higuruma’s pulse as his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of Higuruma’s pants, hooking his cock out into the air, pointed up towards his navel against the fabric of his shirt.
That brief touch alone was enough to have Higuruma seeing stars, a strangled gasp stripping his throat raw and breaking into a drawn out moan when Nanami gripped him fully.
Nanami took a moment to admire Higuruma’s cock, appreciating the weight and heat of it in his hand. It was beautiful in its own way, the smooth curve and the throbbing vein that traced a line beneath the silken skin. Nanami’s thumb swept over the tip, gathering the beads of pre-cum that glistened there and spreading it over the head with a gentle stroke that made Higuruma jerk up into his palm, his own grip on Nanami inadvertently tightening.
"Sensitive," Nanami murmured, eyes gleaming with an intensity that could melt steel, the heat of his gaze stripping Higuruma down to his very bones.
Higuruma flushed, a deep crimson spreading across his cheeks as his nose wrinkled in embarrassment. He turned his head into the pillow, trying to hide the uncontrollable reactions of his body. “It’s been a while,” he admitted, voice barely more than a whisper as he gave Nanami’s cock a tentative pump. The motion drew a low moan from Nanami, his eyelids fluttering, breath stuttering warmly against Higuruma’s cheek.
“No time… no interest,” Higuruma continued, words spilling out between panting breaths. “Not into flings… too impersonal.” Excuses tumbled from his lips, broken by the rhythm of Nanami’s hand stroking him into gasping pants. The wet sucking sounds of pre-cum between Nanami’s fingers only made Higuruma throb harder in Nanami’s fist.
"Me neither," Nanami confessed, his voice muffled as he buried his face into Higuruma’s neck, inhaling the warmth of his skin with a shaky breath. The wet rhythmic plap plap plap’s of his hand grew faster until Higuruma’s back arched off the bed with a frantic whine, a string of curses slipping unbidden from his lips.
Nanami had never imagined Higuruma to be a whimperer, always so composed and sharp-eyed. Then, he never dared allow himself to imagine Higuruma like this at all.
Except for that one time, maybe… or perhaps twice. Maybe he’d lost count after thrice.
He thought those sounds might be irritating, wax annoyingly and decoratively pornographic, but from Higuruma, they were intoxicating. They made him crave more. He wanted to chip away at his composure, to draw out more of those desperate noises, to capture them and keep them close. Because Nanami didn’t do flings, and if that’s what this was, he at least wanted something to remember it by.
It was instinct driven the way he moved next, shifting to straddle Higuruma more completely, head bowed to watch the narrow space between them. It’s clumsy, it’s dark and they’re new to this and Higuruma’s body was as alien to him as anybody else's. His ears burn in time with the heavy thump of his cock thudding into the cleft of Higuruma’s thigh.
With clenched teeth, Nanami pressed forward, his movements deliberate but unsteady. A slow, grinding thrust dragged the underside of his cock against Higuruma’s, exhaling sharply at the fresh sensation.
Higuruma's lips parted in another moan, but the sound was swallowed by Nanami’s mouth before it escaped. It’s an opportunity for authority Nanami relished, a chance he didn’t often get. He didn’t hesitate to explore the warmth of Higuruma’s mouth, snagging the sharp of his canines against soft velvet lips, the slick of his soft palate lashed by Nanami’s seeking tongue.
Nanami’s fingers extended, thumb and palm hooking around his own cock while the remaining four stayed devoted to Higuruma—jerking them in tandem, a shared rhythm that drew out breathy gasps and muted moans.
Higuruma’s mouth was hot against Nanami’s, full of urgency and an unspoken plea and promise. So much potential with that mouth—quick wit, arguments, warm, inviting. There’s a kind of intoxication in the way Higuruma responds, each hitch of breath and stuttered exhale fueling Nanami’s quiet resolve to be good to him. He wanted Higuruma to remember him; a matter of ego.
Nanami does not do flings, and neither does Higuruma, but maybe this is an exception. Maybe it’s more. Maybe they’d wake in the morning and Nanami would find the courage-tempered cowardice to flee the life of a sorcerer for a second time—this time out of embarrassment—or maybe he would treat Higuruma to breakfast. Either felt just as likely at that point.
Higuruma found his hands rendered obsolete, defunct palms still slick and sticky from Nanami but with nothing to occupy them. His heart raced, hips bucking up into Nanami’s fist, grinding his cock against Nanami’s as he murmured muffled encouragement into Higuruma’s neck. Higuruma’s hands moved frantically, grabbing for any part of Nanami he could reach.
Fingers tangled in his hair, raking through the undercut at the nape of his neck, carding through blonde locks as if to stay tethered. His hands roamed over Nanami’s back, tracing the firm muscles that quivered beneath his touch. He scratched constellations into the sun-dappled freckles decorating Nanami’s skin, a galaxy amidst the scars. He’d never considered the life Nanami lived before, never quite cared.
Maybe it was the near-orgasmic rush of dopamine clouding Higuruma’s brain, making him tender and soft, but he found himself leaning into Nanami’s shoulder, planting his mouth there. He kissed and licked, laving his tongue over every mark and blemish, every scar that marred the tanned skin with silver, pink, or fresh purple, each one undeserving of the canvas they existed upon.
Higuruma’s breath quickened, each gasp a desperate plea for more, his body straining towards the edge. Nanami’s hand worked them both at a relentless pace, the wet sounds of their cum-slick skin shlick-shlick-shlicking in the hot air. Higuruma could feel the pressure building, a knot tightening in his belly, ready to snap.
“Nanami,” he gasped into a spit-slick shoulder, voice trembling with urgency, his hips stuttering as he chased the release that felt so close, so inevitable. His grip tightened on Nanami’s hair, anchoring himself as his body tensed. He was a live wire, all nerves and sensation, and Nanami’s quiet, focused attention only made it sweeter.
The briefest moment of consideration crossed wires in Higuruma’s head, shakily tugging his own shirt up and pinching the fabric between his teeth, stomach bared and muscles clenching, unclenching, then clenching again—
“Kento,” Nanami corrected, pleading, impeaching, driving the slick, urgent rhythm of his hand. “Please—” It felt different that way, more intimate. Nanami wanted to erase the last traces of anonymity, eradicate impersonality, to fill the room with the weight of something softer, something real. He didn't know what compelled him, but the mere thought of Higuruma gasping his name, lips parted in desperate need, sent a hot thrill down Nanami’s spine, his balls tightening with a searing want that took his breath away.
The heat between them was unbearable, each stroke of Nanami’s hand pushing Higuruma closer to the edge, unapologetic in his destruction of his restraint. His body bowed, fingers tangling desperately in Nanami’s hair, a silent plea for more, just a little more—
His spine tensed, fingers gripping tightly in Nanami’s hair as he finally gave in, spilling over Nanami’s hand and his own stomach with a shrill bark of his name. Pleasure hit him hard, blurring his vision as sparks of ecstasy sparked behind his eyelids like stardust, every nerve galvanized past capacity. So long since it had been his own hand or some impersonal silicon device, Higuruma had simply forgotten. Forgotten what it was like for it to be someone else.
Nanami watched him, enraptured by the way Higuruma fell apart beneath him, the way his chest heaved and his eyes fluttered shut, the way his skin flushed with orgasmic afterglow. It was enough to tip him over the edge, the sight and sound and fuck even the smell of Higuruma’s orgasm drawing his own from him with a deep, guttural groan. 
He ground their cocks together once more, the slick mess of their combined cum making it all the more intense as he followed Higuruma dope-eyed into oblivion, his own climax spilling hot and wet between their bodies. Higuruma’s stomach hollowed with each gasping breath, a basin in which their combined cum pooled, mixed and hot.
They lay there, breath mingling in the heated space between them, Nanami still bracketing Higuruma’s body with his own. Both panting, skin glistening with sweat and the final ropes of cum stringing between Nanami’s fist and Higuruma’s stomach. Higuruma’s cock twitched with each pulse, oversensitive and alive with lingering sensation.
Nanami nuzzled into the crook of Higuruma’s neck, breathing in the musky warmth of his skin, while Higuruma wrapped an arm around Nanami’s shoulders, fingers splayed possessively, as if to keep him from pulling away—not that Nanami had any intention of moving.
“Stay,” Higuruma murmured, voice still breathless, tinged with the raw edges of satisfaction and something suspiciously softer.
Nanami chuckled, a low rumble against Higuruma’s ear, and pressed a gentle kiss to the curve of his jaw. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere.”
Higuruma shifted, a satisfied glint in his eye. “Good. Because I’m not sure I can move,” he admitted, a smile tugging at his lips.
Throughout the night, every inch of Higuruma’s body came to know Nanami’s hands, his lips, his touch, and Higuruma explored Nanami with the same enthusiasm. When the sun rose, it found them not on opposite sides of the bed in a cold war but tangled together, limbs more origami than man, an ouroboros where it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.
They prepared for the mission ahead, no longer the awkward and begrudging roommates they had been, not quite friends, not quite lovers, but something decidedly more pleasant than they were just the day before.
As Nanami fixed his hair, Higuruma brushed his teeth with a casual ease. While Higuruma tied his tie, Nanami laced his shoes, relaxed, satisfied. Pleasantries exchanged were more than mere obligation, carried out with a quiet contentment and softened shoulders. The glances they shared were not of sharp edges or bitter abrasion but of thoughtful kindness.
“I shouldn’t think we’ll be here another night,” Nanami commented, donning his jacket from the closet and rolling his shoulders, loosening the threads around muscles that felt more limber than they had in a long time. “Make sure you’ve repacked your bag.”
Nanami’s words were met with an odd sense of regret, cold and dousing was the wave that washed over Higuruma as he hummed his acknowledgment, swallowing his disappointment. “Yeah, already done,” Higuruma assured, raking fingers through his hair in the mirror one last time. He found himself caring a little more than usual today, the lines of his suit sharper and picked of lint, not a hair out of place. There was no good reason for that, of course.
He didn’t want to leave.
Sudden was this change of heart, where before he wanted to blaze through this mission and get away from Nanami, the sooner the better. But now, with them finally on decent—dare he say good —terms, he wasn’t ready to go back. Not to campus, not to the way things were before, marked by prickling anxiety and petty competition.
So lost in his thoughts and buried beneath a tortured brow, he didn’t notice as Nanami approached him. Only when his hand tentatively grazed his waist, jolting Higuruma back to reality did he blink at the other man reflected in the mirror over his shoulder.
“Hiromi…” Nanami began, hesitant and stilted, unused to the taste of anything other than Higuruma or a muttered insult, unsure if the request for familiarity was still in effect.
“When we get back—”
Higuruma is already shaking his head, expression schooled into neutrality. He would have to practice it again, learn how to be unaffected. It would be hard but he would learn, and it would be like nothing ever happened and god that was a tough pill to swallow… because Higuruma Hiromi doesn’t do flings, and he didn’t think Nanami Kento did either.
“I don’t kiss and tell if that’s what you’re worried about,” Higuruma chuckled, placating, strained.
Nanami simply smiled at him in the mirror. Slowly he reached around, snaking an arm to Higuruma’s front, gently adjusting Higuruma’s collar and the knot of his tie.
“Actually… I was thinking about dinner.”
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