#bastard dio

[starlitvick]

Alternate universe in which Odysseus is THE polyamorous rizzler and has a wife, boyfriend(positive), and boyfriend(derogatory)

And they all get different nicknames

Penelope - My love

Polites - My light

Diomedes - Parasite.

[shanediomorrissey]

A sneaky right winger and a sniper left winger exchange some words.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

"Who's Hotter?" Anime Villains: Category the Magnificent Bastards

[almoststedytimetravel]

Just saw Dio Zero Escape get described as "deeply tragic if he had any self-awareness." And I had to take second because yeah, they're right.

[awdeservedbetter]

PLEASE HELP! Can you help me find the full video to this gif? Or wherever this gif originates from? Thank you 🧡🥃

[dio-theshitpost-brando]

A day late but happy birthday to my favourite vampire.

[4amdiego]

from twitter <3

his ass is out on my twitter btw

[sneetsnootyoit]

My World

Summary: Dio's had a stressful week and you're happy to help.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: 18+ (Minors DNI), teasing, oral sex (kind of), established relationship, sex (obviously), super fluff, NO USE OF Y/N

A/N: I felt like I needed to post something while I'm working on my more major pieces. Also there's no specific description of the reader's body for inclusivity!

Spanish: colibrí - hummingbird, pajarito - little bird, palomo - dove

See it on Ao3!

When you pick him up from work, you have a cheesy grin spread across your face and he tries to hide the grin tugging at his lips at the sight of your gleeful expression. He has no idea what you have planned for him, and that’s a good thing, because after the week he’s had, he deserves some pampering. You already have his favorite playlist on and you’re humming along to one of the songs playing through your speakers while Dio just watches you. He thinks about how radiant you look under the light of the moon peeking through the windshield of the car. It makes your eyes shine and accentuates your face in a way that sunlight simply cannot.

When you pull into the parking lot of your shared apartment, you practically jump over the hood of the car trying to get over to the other side to open Dio’s door for him. He’s unable to stifle the laughter that comes when you trip and fall on your face before you can open the door. He opens it slowly. “Are you okay, birdie?”

You lift your head and roll over to get on your feet, huffing as he steps out of the car. “I was trying to open the door for you,” you grumbled, taking him by the hand once he’d closed the door. You lock the car and you start walking towards the building, swinging the hand holding his while you board the elevator to head to the floor your apartment is on. When you walk through the door, you’re immediately greeted by Dio’s cat. You reach down and scoop her up, holding her in your arms like a baby. She meows at you and looks over to Dio after he closes the door.

“What are they doing to you, huh?” He croons, leaning his face down to kiss the top of her head. You both chuckle and you allow the black ball of fur to jump out of your arms and make her way to the little hammock on her scratching tree.

You smile and turn your attention to Dio, cupping the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss. He hums against you and he grasps your hips to bring you closer to him. “Have you eaten yet?” You ask, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as he nods.

“Mhmm, a customer ordered pizzas for the staff. It was free for me, so I didn’t question it. Why?”

“Just making sure I didn’t need to make you something,” you say quietly, slowly walking backwards towards the bedroom. Luckily for you, it’s a path you travel often, so you don’t have to look backwards to know where you’re going. You can hear and feel Dio’s snickering laughter as you continue to walk backwards and you lightly smack the back of his head, parting only so you could turn and open the door. You grab Dio by the lapels of his coat and pull him into the room, kicking the door shut to keep the cat out. 

Dio gives you a curious look with furrowed brows and you give him a mischievous grin while you tug the coat off and let it drop to the floor. “What do you have cooking in that brain of yours, colibrí?”

“Well,” you purr, ghosting your lips across his jaw while your hands push his shirt up and over his head. “You’ve had a stressful week, dove. What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t help you relieve some of that…”

A mischievous smirk that mirrored yours spread across Dio’s face while you nip at his jaw, making him shudder. “Are you gonna take care of me, pajarito?”

“Mhmm…gonna make it all go away. It’ll just be you and me, palomo.” Your hands trail down to unbutton his pants as you walk him towards the dresser, and he works on removing his chains and larger earrings, placing them on the wooden surface. You gently slide your fingers beneath his waistband and pull his pants off, boxers going with before you begin pushing him towards the bed. He moves himself to the middle of the mattress and you stand next to the bed, allowing him to watch you slowly remove your clothes, one piece at a time.

He lazily strokes his cock while he watches you, leaning his head back against the wall with  sigh. Fuck...you get more beautiful every time I look at you,” he groans, looking at you with eyes full of desire.

“As do you, angel.” De rolls his eyes at the nickname and reaches out for you once you’ve joined him. 

He pulls you into his lap and you straddle him, wrapping your arms around his neck to capture his lips with your own while you grind down against him. He lets out a soft moan and you push your tongue into his mouth, carding your fingers through the black curls atop his head. You love when he lets his hair lay naturally. 

His hands fall to your hips, making you continue your movements while you explore his mouth with your tongue. When you part, you’re both breathless and desperate, but you’re determined to take care of Dio. He grips you tightly as you squeeze his with your legs and you chuckle. “Easy there, dove…We’ve barely started. There’s no rush,” you murmur, pressing soft kisses across his cheeks and forehead, leaving him breathless in a way he’s never experienced before.

It’s intimate, but not the kind you’ve explored in the past, and it leaves him wanting more of you. Your tender touches send shivers down his spine and you trail kisses across his jaw and over to his ear. You exhale against his neck and he moans softly. It’s no secret to you that his neck and ears are extremely sensitive, and you love to exploit that. You nibble on his earlobe and ghost your fingers over his chest, dancing your fingertips over his nipples. 

You revel in the whimper that escapes his lips when you open your mouth to trace your teeth down his neck, latching on to the spot where it meets his neck and biting softly. The quiet gasp that he lets out makes you smirk and you chuckle, opening your mouth further so you can work on sucking a hickey into his neck. He begins to squirm beneath you as you continue moving south, kissing and nipping at his skin along the way. You stop at his chest and look into his eyes while you ghost your lips over one of his nipples, making him jerk beneath you.

“F-fuck, birdie…is the teasing necessary? Why don’t you just-”

“Oh dove, this is only foreplay. I want to get you good and excited before we get to the main event. I’m gonna make you see stars, angel.”

This time, Dio shudders at the nickname, letting out a shaky breath as you resume your journey downwards until you’re able to settle yourself down between his thighs. You can feel his eyes on you when you reach down to grab his legs and pull him down the mattress. He lets out a yelp of surprise as he’s pulled down onto his back and you chuckle, placing a kiss on his stomach. You grasp his ankles and push his legs up so that his feet are flat on the mattress and his legs are spread, giving you easy access to everything you want. When Dio realizes what you’re planning, he groans at the sight of you between his legs. You make eye contact with him and slowly lean down and press a feather-light kiss to each of his inner thighs. You lavish them with attention while Dio twitches above you, his cock leaking against his stomach while he breathes out your name. 

You tilt your head in question as you spread his legs a little more and dip your head down to trace his hole with your tongue. “Oh shit, colibrí...fuck, give me more. I need more,” he begged quietly, tilting his head back with a whine when you flatten your tongue against him.

You give him a smirk and a hum, and you carefully push your tongue into his hole, making his cock twitch. You took a moment to slowly fuck him with your tongue before lazily dragging it up his perimeum and over his balls, sucking one into your mouth and moaning around it. You feel Dio’s body jerk and you let him feel the light graze of your teeth over his sensitive skin. You alternate to his other testicle while you begin to dance your fingertips over the length of his cock. You hear him groan and his dick jumps at your touch, giving you an indication of how desperate he’s becoming.  When you release his balls from your mouth, you flatten your tongue and lick up the underside of his cock, making him moan at the sudden contact. “Doing so good for me, palomo,” you tell him, wrapping your lips around the tip and sucking lightly.

You can tell by the way he pulses on your tongue that he’s starting to reach his limit and you hum around him. You can practically feel the shudder that goes down his spine and you quickly release him, making him whine at the loss. He watches you as you reach over to his nightstand to dig out the lube, squirting out a generous amount to distribute between Dio’s cock and your entrance. You climb back onto his lap and positioned yourself above him, holding his cock in one hand and bracing yourself on his shoulder with the other. You’re careful and slow as you lower yourself down onto him, stopping every so often to allow yourself to relax and adjust. 

You let yourself drop down on the last couple of inches and you both gasp loudly at the change, gripping each other tightly. You lean forward and kiss him deeply, lifting your hips to allow you to lazily fuck yourself on his cock. “Oh shit…oh shit…” he breathes out, letting his head fall back against the pillows.

You brace yourself above him and press your forehead against his, rolling your hips so you can take him deeper. Your noses brush against one another as you whine, Dio gripping your hips so tight that you’ll definitely have bruises. You sit up and place your hands on his chest to help keep yourself upright, using your legs to help you bounce on his cock. His eyes flew open and a breathy moan came out, making you hum happily. “That’s right, my dove…fuck, you like when I ride your cock like this? When I fuck myself on you? Fuck, you feel so good…I’m so fucking full,” you say, clenching around him when the tip of his cock brushes against your sweet spot. It makes you cry out in pleasure, sending sparks shooting behind your eyes and you aim to hit that spot repeatedly.

“Yeah…fuck, birdie. I love the way you squeeze my cock with that tight hole…Fucking love seeing you like this, my- fuck, you’re my world. You’re my whole fucking world, little bird,” he babbles, reaching up to pull you down and kiss you hard.

You open your mouth to protest, but you feel him shift his legs for leverage before he begins to fuck into you, making you cry out in pleasure. You squeezed around him tightly and you braced yourself on your forearms, pressing your forehead against Dio’s. You can tell he’s getting close because of how roughly he pulls you down onto himself, grinding his cock deep inside with each thrust. The moans he makes in your ear are absolutely filthy, matching yours beautifully as you start nearing your own finish. You whimper against his neck when you feel your orgasm begin to build and you do everything you can to keep it from crashing through you. Not yet…

“Fuck- oh fuck, Dio. Fuck, that’s so fucking good! Shit!”

Dio lets out a groan that turns into a whimper as he tries to warn you about his impending orgasm. You can feel him start to slow down and you realize that he is going to pull out and you shake your head. “Shit- No! Don’t fucking stop! Fuck, Dio baby, don’t stop! Give it to me…fuck, fill me up. Come on…” you cry out, barely holding on. 

Dio’s caught off guard by your request, but he gets the message and continues his previous pace, slamming into you with such force that you swear you can feel it in your chest. Just as Dio begins to release himself into you, your orgasm crashes through you like a tsunami ravaging a beach and you moan out each others’ names, practically melting into one another while you ride out your highs. You’re vaguely aware of the wet, sticky mess that has formed between the two of you, and you honestly don’t care. You press your face into Dio’s neck and you let out a breathy laugh. “Holy shit,” you murmur, making Dio laugh.

“Fucking hell birdie! That was…"

Both of you are breathless, but you still manage to burst into a fit of giggles. "How's that for stress relief?"

Dio snorts and cups your cheek, pulling your face away from his neck so he can look at you. "Pretty damn good," he says with a smile, pressing his lips to yours. You love getting his genuine smiles, they're your most favorite thing in the world.

You hum into the kiss and the two of you stay there for a while, sharing kisses and holding one another. In that time, the rest of the world fades away and it's just you and Dio. Nothing else matters. Time fades and becomes a vague concept at this moment, completely irrelevant while you're in each others' arms. The two of you are snapped out of your haze when you hear the sound of scratching and meowing at the door. It makes you both laugh and then grimace when you both realize the mess you'd allowed yourselves to sit in. 

You sit up slowly as Dio’s softened cock slips out of your hole, dribbling cum onto the bedsheets. You would've been annoyed if you weren't going to change the sheets anyway. You head to the bathroom to turn on the shower and clean up a little bit before you go help Dio strip the bed and put on new sheets. Once the shower is warmed up and ready, Dio opens the door to let the cat in and he joins you in the shower. You wash each other carefully, sharing the warm water and minimal space. It's another form of intimacy that you do not often share. After getting clean, you dry each other off and get ready to actually go to bed. You hold hands while you brush your teeth and you help each other into what little you wear to bed.

The cat wasn't in the bedroom, though. She only wanted you to open the door so she can come and go when she pleases, and to make sure that when she gets her sudden burst of energy at 3 o'clock in the morning, she can adequately bother the two of you. 

You and Dio get settled in the bed after you turn off the lights and you take a minute to just stare at each other in the faint moonlight that managed to get in through the curtains.

"Hey dove?" You ask quietly, playing with his fingers as you lay your head on his chest.

"Hm?"

"Did you really mean it?"

"Mean what, colibrí?"

"When you said I was your whole world…did you mean it?"

Dio sighs and you can just barely see the faint smile on his face. "Of course. I meant every word, pajarito."

You pause, taking in the information for a second before you press a soft kiss to his lips. “You’re my whole world, too.”

TAG LIST: @wannab-urs@existential-angstt@miller--trash

[highdio]

can you explain how over heaven gets dio wrong? i'd love to get your thoughts on that

LOL anon I'm already in trouble for not posting a full meta on this, there's so much wrong with Over Heaven that it's an extremely heavy lift to break it all down. But here's two of the light novel's big Fails:

1. Over Heaven's Dio sees women as either 'holy women' or wicked whores, the textbook caricature of a misogynist. Canon Dio didn't have this hang-up and it's an ugly personaility trait to just invent out of nowhere. Nisioisin did this because without writing his fake Dio as a raving misogynist he couldn't take the plot anywhere, he needs the misogyny specifically to fetishize Dio's mother's death.

2. The narrative structure of Over Heaven is backward-looking. (SPOILERS) The last scene is your stereotypical "return to the womb" sequence, with Erina (which Dio hallucinates as his mom because all “holy women” in Over Heaven are Dio’s mom) enclosing Dio into the dark enclosure of the 'coffin.’

Great if you believe Dio's a character who longs to go backward to the extent where he wasn't even born. Ofc this contradicts canon Dio, who Araki writes as moving ever forward, to a fault: transcending humanity, killing (both) his father(s), discarding old bodily forms through the processes of resurrection and reinvention. tl;dr, Dio's one of the least backward-looking character I can think of. It's intentional on Araki's part since Dio stands in opposition to the Joestar family values of bloodline, heritage and tradition. Someone should have clued Nisioisin in on this.

I guess if I were feeling generous, I could view Over Heaven as some sort of thought experiment: why would someone who clearly isn't Dio do some of the things that Dio did?

Because the traits Nisioisin assigns his version of Dio - anxiety, regret, maudlin sentimentality toward the past, a misogynistic worldview, a man who deeply abides the societal concept of nobility - just aren't Dio. In fact, they're the opposite of Dio. Which means that somehow Nisioisin managed to write a sort of anti-Dio in a book that’s not just about Dio but passes itself off as a private journal written by Dio.

It's almost too much fail in one book for me to wrap my mind around.

[quantumgroovytime]

i’m in dincobb adjacent hell rn and i wanna drag more people down here with me >:]

dio morriessy (nypd blue) and dennis schiff (the broken hearts club)

this one is purely for the aesthetics of camp gay man falls in love with standoffish alt guy (idk what subculture dio actually is please don’t crucify me /lh)

frankie morales (triple frontier) and nick bennett (a perfect getaway)

they were both in the army. that’s it. that and all of their fics are incredibly sweet and i love them a lot

max phillips (bloodsucking bastards) and mickey altieri (scream 2)

dude who kills people because he needs to eat and dude who kills people because he’s batshit crazy. i won’t read any of the fics for them because they’re all nsfw and i don’t read that, so someone PLEASE write sfw fics about them 🙏🙏 /nf

jack daniels (kingsman: the golden circle) and raylan givens (justified)

gay cowboys. i don’t need to say any more

dieter bravo (the bubble) and joel hammond (santa clarita diet)

this pairing came to me in a vision (an incredibly boring graphic design lesson) the whole reason i’m so attached to it is the idea of dieter hating being a celebrity because no one sees him for him and joel being extremely behind on current media so has no idea who he is and he’s just happy to have another buddy to get high with

joel miller (the last of us) and david dutton (the crazies)

as much as i love joel miller+joel hammond i’m also incredibly attached to the idea of these two ‘zombie’ fighting badasses falling in love

idk man i love them a lot

[mikrokosmcs]

psps yohancito, qué se siente tener a unos hermosos demonios a tu merced(?) 😋

Yohan  suelta  una  risa  aireada  alrededor  del  borde  de  su  taza  de  café,  el  crucifijo  alrededor  de  su  cuello  tintinea  contra  los  otros  collares  de  plata  para  protegerse  de  diferentes  entidades,  volviendo  a  su  trabajo  de  teclear  el  informe  para  la  iglesia  que  le  permitía  tener  permisos  como  exorcista  y  financiaban  sus  aventuras.  -  —Por  decirlo  de  forma  suave,  es  algo  exquisito  —  -su  interés  en  ellos  no  era  simplemente  por  la  gran  curiosidad  que  siempre  tuvo  sobre  aquello  que  no  se  puede  explicar  y  lo  que  tiene  fuerzas  superiores,  sino  por  la  naturaleza  diabólica  de  sus  pasados  y  por  el  poder  que  sentía  al  lograr  dominar  una  entidad  superior  a  él,  no  solo  por  tenerlos  en  frascos  especiales,  sino  en  la  cama.  -  —No  sé  si  alguna  vez  has  tenido  un  acercamiento  directo  con  la  biblia  católica,  pero  habla  sobre  la  belleza  descomunal  del  arcángel  que  fue  echado  de  su  propio  hogar  por  recriminarle  a  su  Padre  que  no  se  le  amase  con  la  misma  intensidad  que  las  pequeñas  y  mundanas  criaturas  que  somos  los  humanos…  —  -comenta,  sus  dedos  trabajando  arduamente  sobre  las  teclas  de  su  laptop,  los  frascos  reposados  sobre  el  estante  a  sus  espaldas  resplandecen  al  ritmo  del  palpitar  de  su  corazón.  -  —Así  que  no  es  para  menos  que  todos  estos  malhechores  e  inhumanas  criaturas  sean  de  una  belleza  sublime.  Poder  dominar  seis  de  ellos,  habla  más  de  mi  capacidad  superior.  Dios  me  dio  un  don,  como  al  mismo  Lucifer,  pero  a  diferencia  de  él,  no  me  ha  castigado  por  mis  pecados. 

[howlingdemon13]

Nah. Nahnahnahnah!!!!!! NO! You do NOT get to be an evil little shit for the better part of two decades and then look like THAT!

“Howie! He’s manipulative and evil! He directly and indirectly killed and maimed your faves! You can’t woobify him after resisting for 5 years! Howie!”

Hate that I’m rewatching PB again. //lh //j

[basofy]

i was thinking stuff and realized these 2 assholes would be good friends... incredible

[andreai04]

“She has refused to take the potion, sire.”

“Sorry, I thought you said it wasn’t compulsory, Dios.”

“Yes, sire. It is not, sire. It is entirely voluntary. It is an act of free will. And she has refused it, sire.”

[thefernbi]

Listen what im saying is that if you told me a ancient evil vampire took over your grandads body and now we have to travel to Egypt to kill him to saved your loved ones, I'd be down in a heartbeat. With you every step of the way.

But what im also saying is that i can't guarantee that i won't join forces with the awsome ancient vampire that took over your grandads body.

[hangingoffence]

the visceral body(literally) horror and gore of dio stealing jonathan's body is so...... i mean its the pinnacle of removing ascendancy and consent