#basically. im active in the things i like im just not posting about it
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I've been really getting into things like cartoons and animations and stuff, but due to some personal reasons (mostly me being very insecure and embarrassed) I'm gonna be keeping like. Most of them except stuff like great mouse (bc its already prevalent here) and sj to a sideblog of mine
#i know its like cringe is dead and all but idk. i have almost 2k followers and i have personal problems with indulging in what makes me#happy to begin with#so im gonna kinda move house over there for that stuff#like ive been hyperfixating on things like fank*ds and crossovers for a couple months now. i have a lot of new ocs that are like#d*sney fankids. and ive been using them a lot#but im just not posting#same w smiIing friends. its a cc thing for me now and ive been quiet about it here#basically. im active in the things i like im just not posting about it#and idk when ill have the confidence to
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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last saturday i went to a taylor swift party here in berlin. they played nothing but full-length original taylor songs. the vibe was pure happiness. it was once more bewildering to me how my secret taylor obsession from when i was in 7th grade 15 years ago has turned into this mega hype with my irl friends that i made during all these years participating. i had so many flashbacks to when i first heard these songs, at school, in my first car, moving to the city, little moments during my relationships etc. there was actual crying on the dancefloor lol. i used to be such an unhappy teen clinging to my fearless cd and the growth i felt in all of my body dancing with hundreds of people to ybwm in this incredible phase of my life was just... everything
#bla bla bla bla#and they said speak now#basically everything else in my life has changed since i was 15 but the joy of being a fan of her#so much terrible stuff is going on everywhere but this is just a fountain of joy thank god for that!!!!#when i see people posting things like how can people care about taylor and not talk about all the voilence in the world im like....#does it occur to people that this is a happy place for some people who take their activism outside of freaking tumblr
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i wonder if there's the potential for a solution to the doxxing fucking over marginalized people specifically thing and/or the some people only being able/knowing where to engage with community online thing if we we were able to like. weaponize the relative lack of actual anonymity in the opposite direction.
like for one thing, instead of doxxing just resulting in problems from others in person, using that information to actively support the person instead, and for another for the other potentially more targeted use of the internet to find people to engage with in person (although that one you'd have to be even more careful about in case it worked in the opposite direction. I'm just thinking it would be nice to have something more structured/widespread than happening to find out your internet friends are in your local area, that could potentially be used to circumvent people not meeting in third spaces/other issues people have initially finding local community in person.)
It would be nice if instead of exclusively finding offline solutions/telling people how to be more careful we could also use what's often part of the problem to our advantage when it does happen. Like, having a way to address it that isn't only preventative.
#no idea whether it's actually practical im essentially just thinking outloud#if we could have another pokemon go thing where people have the opportunity to#encounter each other on a friendly basis in person because of their phones that would also be nice#idk how you'd do some of this in a way that's actually 'safe' though#mypost#the doxxing response thing would have to be either like. a general cultural shift which is probably very unlikely#or a targeted attempt to support people affected that extends to their local area#and the other would kind of just require people to be fine with telling people online roughly where they are it seems like#unless there's some additional vetting process or something you could use first#which would obviously have a bunch of risks + more for some people than others#but like. part of my personal situation re online safety#is that a. i've already been on here and posting shit since i was a younger teen#and it would be practically impossible to make my normal social media doxx-proof to begin with#and b. none of my political opinions or me being trans or anything are exactly a secret in person#so anything someone could try to harass me with in person would either be trying to just like. embarass me in general i guess (useless)#telling people something they already know (also useless)#lying (could cause mostly temporary problems with the wrong person at most)#swatting (okay yeah this one could cause problems if they're stupid enough#to fall for it but also i don't really think there's anything to be done about it)#or other threats to my physical safety (people can do that anyway considering how outwardly visible i am about my#opinions/being trans/etc + that would require them to be in my phsyical proximity as well)#so basically my threat model for internet security is way more lax on General Social Media than a lot of people would think it should be#and i've used the same url for events i've attended in person#but considering that people could definitely find me if they really wanted one way or the other + there's nothing really. secret? on here.#like. there's stuff i wouldn't randomly bring up in conversation but none of this is something i'm actively hiding really#and then if there's something i do want to use the internet for but want to keep Secret secret from my irl identity#that's just a whole different account that i'm creating#tldr you can't realistically intimidate me by threatening to reveal information that's already public knowledge#i guess maybe once i move i'll have to reconsider whether i want to try a new threat model since some of the infomation people would be abl#to get easily would be outdated but i also almost prefer it to stay mostly a moot point so people can't effectively use it as leverage
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I miss ur posts :( :( :(
hey im really sorry :( i feel really bad that i havent created anything ts4 related in a while. i promise i am working on stuff. the process is slow bc my posts are rlly long and i make all the builds/poses/edits myself... it can be a time consuming process. sometimes there has to be a period of quiet to get the creativity back and such. i promise things are in the works though!!
#jade answers#Anonymous#the truth is it's very time consuming trying to post once a week especially when simblr wasn't very active for a few months#that coupled w my health issues and my being on the brink of ts4 burnout sometimes it's just better to step back#and take time to enjoy other stuff so you feel more inspired when you come back#also TBH... i have been feeling extremely sheepish about how serious i take my ts4 story 😭#guards smite this person for talking about her ocs on her oc blog you know that type of thing#i am basically done w poses for my next post though i just need to take the screenshots and edit :') so yay for that#now i have this thing where im like it's been TOO long since i posted... am i even allowed to update standstill aaahahahah#does anyone remember her... do ppl care... do i have to make one of those returning promo posts idk if i have that in me#if you read all these tags <3
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im just running on survival mode huh. like the derealization and depersonalization and lack of motivation or passion for anything and need for constant low effort stimulation all so that i can make it through the day without having to face all the shit I'm actually feeling. and i cant do anything because im not in a place where i can face the shit im dealing with
#grymms spectacular fucking posts#i cant wait to get out of highschool and my parents house and actually be able to be a person#like seriously highschool is so depersonalizing to me i have basically no say over anything and i just do what im told for a certain number#of hours for a certain number of days a week#and like yeah i know college and jobs are that too but at least people see you as a bit more of a person in those. like you can choose more#stuff. in highschool the most choice you get is between languages or something.#and the worst part is i cant not go to highschool. its not optional. and yet it's actively harmful to me#it makes me so upset but im just stuck and i want to do something but i cant. there is not a single thing i can do about it
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why do i only ever wanna write fanfiction for small dead fandoms/pairings
not me looking at the <100 fics for my fave rarepair for an old as fuck video game and thinking "maybe its time to start that longfic"
not me looking at the <100 fics for all of boyfriend dungeon and thinking "idk man i have 37k worth of interconnected drabbles what if i-"
as it is everything ive posted on ao3 is like…. no one on earth is looking at this. i always write fic for fandoms like, at least 5 years after it had aaaaaany eyes on it. why do i do this.
#me writing fic is roughly equivalent to writing a message in a bottle#like i post and basically hope SOMEONE gets a hankering for a pairing they cared about 6 years ago and looks for it#bc otherwise nooooboooodddddyyyyyy is lookin#and YES i KNOW the whole point of writing is to do it for yourself#and i do. trust me. im doing self indulgent shit you couldnt even imagine.#but there is something frustrating about never getting that Sweet Sweet Validation#im literally involved in an active fandom. i could get hits on a fic if i just wrote for THAT instead!!!#but the only bg3 thing ive managed to write was the ONLY BG3 THING NO ONE WANTS TO CLICK ON!!!!#ill uhh#delete later#prolly#ugggggggggh#happy new year i guess lol
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I dunno. YAPPING HEADS UP YALL. In the whole post and tags and everything.
Hope everyone enjoys the potential influx of drawings that will be hitting this blog once school starts back up for me(in like four days, nearly technically three since this one is almost over with!). I can't promise I'll post everyy little drawing and doodle, but do expect a lot of traditional stuff!!
Perhaps an influx in drabbles or stories too👀
Truthfully, I'm kinda extra excited for it! Something about traditional drawing just feels extra in-control to me with how my lines are gonna turn out and stuff, probably cause I spent so long doing it! Not that I won't miss some perks of digital, haha! Maybe I'll do one of those things sometimes where you draw it traditionally, and then transfer it over to digital for like finalizing it and stuff?🤔 that could be very interesting..
But I haven't gotten to draw my boys a lot, and so I'm quite excited to get to really work out on drawing them and getting them stylized to my art style! Especially to where I can just crank out doodles of them without lookin up images or anything, hehe!! Will I be a complete mess trying to do it? Yes absolutely. Especially with Octavius. Good sir I mean this in the most respectful way possible but REMOVE YOUR CHESTPLATE before it KILLS ME. You are getting de-soldiered treatment, you can keep your red tunic that's all your getting
#i think I've been conditioned to only drawing at school desks. I need one for my room now /half joking#I love posting like there's an active audience JSBFIAHDJABDAHD. Fake it till you make it right? :)#im KIDDING about the Octavius thing. mostly. It does make me flat line and when i did havw to draw it once i did keel over#but I've also been DYING to dramatically draw him like a roman statue and getting to mess around with a draping flowy tunic would be superb#but I also gotta draw him dramatically in his typical soldier general thingy as well. basically i just gotta draw him JFNSJFJBS#ough. all my drawing ideas are coming back at me. gotta hurry to school just to spend my freetime there drawing!!#anywho. obligatory if you read all this I'll buy you your favorite meal from any place you pick. budget of 50$. go crazy#selfship#self ship#self shipping#selfshipping
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Sincere apologies to anyone who followed me for a certain thing or general inactivity in the spaces I'm in; ever since I started unrelated meds my adhd symptoms have been absolutely dreadful and I've been forgetting things/getting distracted much much worse than usual. It's a transitional period and I'm still trying to figure out how to manage it as meds for it haven't really been working and/or I can't get a hold of them due to the shortages. Anyway I'm just really slow cause it's suddenly much easier to space out while staring at a wall or whatever for several hours lmao
#im also just suddenly hesitany about posting art? not sure why#i think bc ive had ghis account for a decade (ew) the artificial number of followers i have makes me feel more pressured-#-than it shoulf? which isnt anyones fault thats my own thing to work through#but i think thats why i like bsky cause my following is extrenely small#and even if my following here cant be more than 50 or so active followers at best#because the number say 2000+. yeah#so its that on top of the adhd problems. and i also havent been sleeping well#so basically until i can Fully regulate i will probably primarily be on bsky? im trying to avoid sites like tumblr bc of the scrolling
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Unrelated to the art: I added a song on YT to a playlist I have for OSTs and I've listened to it like two times in full and as i was waiting on it to load to listen to while I colored I saw it had...... 5 views. Total. FIVE VIEWS. And this is the third time I've had it open. WELP. Thank you to the one person who recently uploaded a game from the Wii's OST.
Related to the art: I still love Sharena.
#fe heroes#sharena#she deserves art always but esp when i just need a ray of sunshine#im getting really mad about petty things when i post art here and share on discord#so i just..... hope i can go a week in the future drawing people i like without getting tags that bother me#like i know its nothing serious and no one is actively trying to be mean but i have a peeve and people keep activating it#and the last time i even mentioned it i got a call out post basically so im trying to keep it to myself#and not make a big deal about it bc it really isnt a big deal#but its incredibly demotivating and getting to the point ive thought that blocking people would be nice#and literally no one has done the thing to be mean ! so i feel bad blocking anyone so i havent blocked anyone#anyway have sharena while i slink off tumblr to agonize
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Another negative side effect of this release is that filtering d///a//i content out of my feed has become impossible again
#river rambles#negative#I cannot even pretend I like a single character from that thing I'm sorry#I am willing to give josephine a C+ passable score but that is IT#every single other person I actively want dead and i'm so serious#my inq included btw#half of them because taking part in the inquisition in itself makes them hateable 2 me#the other half because they on TOP of that are deeply personally unlikable#and unlike the asshole characters from previous installments (or other franchises) they don't even have the decency of showing their depth#unless you bend over backwards to kiss their ass and throat their boots agreeing with everything they say#I make it sound exaggerated but no you need to understand. Micromanaging shit like this is crack to me.#when playing da2 im basically the always sunny whiteboard meme. I invest even in the characters I don't like at all and I still have FUN#in inq It's way more than just needing to micromanage.#because you're literally doing quintuple the legwork for what?? to get a crumb of non-hateable personality??? a normal conversation???#legitimately. i really feel that any person out here on tumblr that's written any analysis post has put more thought -#and personality into those characters than the writers ever did#except solas ofc but that's the writers pet he doesnt count#(not that the thoughts they came up with were any good but they definitely did think about him more)#everyone in the game itself is a mess of contrasting traits that are supposed to make them feel more dynamic and ReAliStiC#but only really make them frustrating unless again. YOU do all the legwork and write those analysis posts#Leliana in origins has more personality in her pinky finger than the entire cast of inquisition combined.#and she's one of my least favorites in origins#dai critical
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there’s one on here currently and they’re bringing back up old controversy (jashshipping)
Yeaa I saw that. They also seem to post a bunch of CJ related things, so I might make the daily photos one since there isn't one for just CJ screenshots/photos
#im gonna be a fait bit busy today so I cant make it rn#also wont be making it tomorrow as there's another strike happening then [ill make a post on that later too btw]#but i want there to be an account just of stuff from the vids or of the ones he posts on twitter#as for the shipping thing#i wish ppl wouldn't be so rude with things sometimes man#my stance is basically the same as CJs. interpret it however you'd like just don't show it to ppl who are uncomfortable with it#also don't harass or be a dick to people who do or don't ship it#im glad it died down since then at least & that there's not a bunch of hate going around#this fandom is simultaneously really nice to be in & also really draining sometimes#tho it definitely isn't the worse. ive been in a lot of ones that are a LOT worse than here. big & small#place is actually quite nice mostly. despite some things that deserve needing to be called out [like some of the ableism toward Heart]#I think things would be a lot better if people just let others do their own thing. as long as its not like. fuckin illegal or offense#or against CJs boundaries. just let others vibe out in there own corner#ain't that what we all said when TH purists complain about CJs covers? No ones forcing you to consume the content. is all good#just stay where you're comfortable! if anyone's forcing you to look at their stuff then they're the issue. and that goes both ways#again just listen to what the guy said. don't show it to people that don't like it. don't harass people who do it don't like it. an like#just be groovy#sorry for the rant this has just been on my mind for months now#im generally very neutral on things but i hate everyone just yellin at each other when there doesn't need to be yelling in the first place#again this place is hell of a lot better than other spaces ive been in#its a main reason this is the first fandom I've actively participated a shit ton in#im actually using discord & talking [a bit] to other ppl for once lol#idk man i like it here. Just don't make a reason for people not to like it here#again apologies for the rant op. this has just been on my mind for some time & i really don't want shit being blown up again#also apologize if anythins spelled wrong or sounds like nonsense#shitty keyboard + dyslexia + not being able to edit tags can make dumb results lol#moss rants#[atlas asks]
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Every time I come across a 'Hindu mythology aesthetic moodboard' I go through the stages of grief.
#im talking about the ones w/ random pictures of some person in a suit and random sanskrit words and random close-ups of pendants#and you can just tell a heavily anglicised individual is to blame#like#bestie#please leave me and my gods and my RELIGION not mythology!!! out of your pinterest#and they all so heavily misunderstand the point of hinduism#it makes me sad#oh and#that accursed post that keeps making rounds on tumblr#the one where kali is basically artemis and lakshmi runs a casino and the whole thing is set in the usa for some fuckall reason#yeah dont do things like that because you clearly dont understand the gods or what they stand for#hinduism is not about looking at things ass they appear on the surface and going to town with it#sur and asur / dev and rakshas are all embodiments of much more complicated thoughts and emotions#every narrative has a message snd every story requires critical thought and introspection#i know i sound mean but can coloniser descendants people who think they can just play around with our gods because they think this active#religion is just mythology please stay away from them#pls#have some shraddha#but more importantly have some respect#hinduism
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~going to be mushy an moment~ okay but like i'm so glad i made this blog; like holy fuck I adore everybody so much. like i love the writing styles, vast arrays of kickass muses and just aaaaa
#<<insomniac vampire speaking>> mun post#(im basically still half asleep lmao and its an time most people are busy but like !!!!)#(when i say this idiot has had several iterations in my head/bits of old attempts etc/i was so nervous to give an main blog to him)#(or how every time i followed somebody first i was so anxious etc only for so many neat people to be like k sup)#(i could stand to branch out more but like i'm also so very happy with the natural course that is happening)#(do need to work on more initiating/having more antics and that i wont get stabbed if i go !!! about things to people)#(just vibing as i want? feeling less anxious/having actual dash activity is neat)#(and like i don't feel too bad d.ominion brain rotting cuz that was 2 rewatches ago that nudged me into giving this whole thing an go)#(anyways if ur reading this hi yes be not afraid to hit me up ooc to ramble about things etc or write against me)#(im just an silly goofy idiot whose out here vibing)
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