#basically: feed me the angst pls

[syn0vial]

so, i've been seeing a lot about the new BG3 epilogues, but i gotta ask: do you get a similar epilogue if you choose to become the absolute at the end? i know it's unlikely, but... i have thoughts about how that could go 👀

[luv4fushi]

omfg i litr read everything uve written off ur masterlist I NEED MOREEEE. i love the way u write megumi especially, i couldn’t get enough of it. i hope you write more of him, my heart aches for more tbh 🥹 tysm for being such a good writer and feeding us starved readers well

tysm! i'm sooo glad i can be a good source of megumi content for you >_< i looove writing megumi so you'll be seeing sooo much more of him, dw! happy holidays!

this december

jjk fushiguro megumi x fem!reader

it’s always colder on your own, especially around this time of year. you should be at home, bundled up with a warm cup of hot chocolate, but here you are in shinjuku, exorcizing curses with your ex boyfriend two weeks after your breakup with him. great.

content: post break up, aged up megumi (19/20), megumi is terrible at feelings, getting back together, fluff if you squint, a bit of angst, miscommunication, one bed (but it isn’t the main plot point sorry), megumi calls you baby like once, gojo is the best wingman, SHIBUYA ARC NEVER HAPPENED AND LIFE IS GOOD, not proofread im very sorry guys pls forgive me, kinda a word dump sry

word count: 5.8k (sigh this was supposed to be 2k words max)

click on my masterlist for more & merry christmas to those who celebrate!

it’s december 19th when satoru gojo tells you that he has a mission just for you. you’re less than ecstatic about it to say the least. the last thing you want to do is be sent to your death just shy of christmas day. you just want to rest your sore muscles and bask in the presence of your best friends. you’re not in the mood to kill any curses, mainly because you’ve just recovered from a previous mission.

“why me?” you groan.

gone are the days where you used to be a goody two shoes for satoru. you’re old enough to talk back now, not like when you had been a shy fifteen-year-old girl. besides, you’ve been around the silver-haired sorcerer long enough to know that he doesn’t mind the bite.

“sorry, kid,” satoru says with a shrug. at least he sounds genuine about it. “the higher ups requested for you specifically. they say you’ll get the job done in the cleanest way. we can’t have things getting messy before the holidays, right?”

“and you wouldn’t be the best choice?” you quip.

satoru only laughs. he ruffles your hair. even with your growth spurt and merciless training, he still towers over you. in a way, he’ll always be your mentor. “hey, i’m going out of town that weekend. give me a break.”

you huff petulantly. something about this mission seems fishy to you. you’re not nearly the strongest sorcerer out of the bunch of kids under satoru’s wings (not that you guys are kids anymore, but sometimes it’s hard to feel otherwise). hell, there’s the kyoto students. it feels like they never have to do anything. you wish that you were rebellious enough to chew utahime out for it.

“why couldn’t they just make yuta or megumi go?” you mutter under your breath. you stammer out megumi’s name and hope satoru doesn’t catch on to the way you can barely say it.

satoru knows about the breakup. why wouldn’t he? he’s basically megumi’s dad, even if the raven haired boy refuses to admit it. satoru’s six eyes mean you can’t hide anything from him (he’d been the first to know that megumi was head over heels for you).

satoru raises a brow. “oh, right. megumi’s coming along too.”

your face twists and you immediately whip around to glare at him. “you’re lying.”

“i wish,” he jokes. “i was really hoping i’d get a wedding invitation one day, you little rascal. i can’t believe you two broke up. maybe this’ll be a good thing!”

“i appreciate your honesty, but—”

“but megumi’s an emotionally constipated kid, yeah, that i know,” satoru laughs. he makes his way to the exit of his office which has you furrowing your brows. is your former teacher actually gonna just leave after making you come all the way here? how rude and so very in character of him.

“please, gojo,” you call out after him, “i don’t wanna go with him.”

“sucks for you,” satoru responds halfheartedly. “merry christmas. try not to take more than a week on this. you’ll have to pay the rest of the fee for accommodations if you do.”

“gojo!” you whine.

“it’s not a hard mission!” satoru insists like it’ll make your life any easier. “y’know, this time of year is when things get ugly. think of it as saving as many people as you can while putting in the least amount of effort!”

and then he teleports. your former teacher teleports away rather than being normal and walking out of the door. you roll your eyes and hope that he can sense it (you know he can’t).

so that’s why you’re here now. with your ex. on the elevator to your assigned room on the tenth floor. you’re so glad that it’s a normal hotel and not a love hotel. lord knows what you’d do if you had checked into a love hotel.

megumi hasn’t spoken a word to you since he broke up with you two weeks ago. it had been in the doorway to your apartment a few days after a particularly rough mission assigned to the both of you—the one you’re still recovering from. he’d pulled you in for a hug, whispering sweet words into your ear. he gave you a look, one of those looks that made him soften his usually sharp eyes.

“i think we should break up.”

and then came the pathetic whimper of yours. he had wiped your tears, even kissed them tenderly, before telling you that it wasn’t your fault—it was his. how cliche.

now as you stand next to him, you want to beat yourself up for not asking for closure. neither of you had explicitly stated that you two were going to be no-contact, but it hurts a lot less to push the idea of forever with megumi away to the back of your mind. besides, you two aren’t confrontational like that. not with each other, anyway.

“need help?” his tone is soft, tender—the tone he reserves specifically for you, the one that tells you he still cares.

you stare down at the luggage at your feet. you’ve always been a chronic overpacker, a habit that megumi knows of by now. he watches you curiously, hands itching at his sides. you can tell that he wants to reach out and grab your suitcase like he always does. he thinks he isn’t obvious, but you can always read through the lines, especially when it’s megumi.

“i’m okay,” you croak out, clearing your throat awkwardly.

the elevator dings and you make your way to your room. as much as you hate to admit it, you’re sort of glad that you and your ex boyfriend are sharing a room. perhaps his’ll be a good way to get closure, though you’re not really sure what closure entails.

what you don’t expect is to unlock the door and be met with a singular bed.

if satoru gojo didn’t have a layer of infinity coating his body (and if he wasn’t the strongest sorcerer alive), you would’ve wrung out his neck.

megumi simply walks into the room, setting his duffel bag down on one of the dressers opposite from the foot of the bed. he doesn’t comment on the lack of double beds, seemingly already aware of the set up.all he does is puff out a weary sigh. you suck in a breath and follow him inside, slipping your shoes off at the entrance.

you lug your suitcase in after you along with your duffel bag and backpack. you stumble forward and megumi’s arm snakes around your waist, steadying you.

“careful,” he mutters, nonchalantly taking your bag off our your shoulders.

it’s a quick series of movements; he swings your bag over his shoulders and places it on the dresser next to the one he’s claimed while guiding you softly to the side of the bed so that you’re not standing in the middle of the doorway.

you scrunch your face, feeling your heart thump against your ribcage. it’s stupid how he still has such a hold on you, even after two weeks of not seeing or talking to him. he’s just so caring, so gentle. it stings, like little the little cuts you get when fighting curses, when you realize that this is something you’ll have to learn how to lose.

“thanks,” you manage to mutter. you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. you know from the way your throat tightens that you’ll be crying soon if you force yourself to talk any more.

“i can take the couch,” megumi says.

it’s that easy with him; he’s a gentleman, so of course he’d take the couch. that’s the way megumi fushiguro is—he offers a solution before you even have the chance to complain. in your year and a half long relationship, that skill of his had been a saving grace.

“no, don’t bother,” you croak. “i’ll book another room.”

“really?” he asks. he stands up a little straighter, awkwardly reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “i mean, i don’t mind sharing a room with you… we’ve..”

we’ve shared a room countless of times before.

megumi doesn’t have to continue his sentence for you to understand what he’s implying. you part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out except for a long, heavy sigh. your shoulders drop as you let the exhaustion seep into your bones. there’s no use arguing about it, not when you don't’ mind sharing a room with megumi, either.

“we’ve broken up,” you remind him in a quiet voice, like you’re afraid saying it out loud will make it truer than it already is.

megumi pauses. you see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “i know that, but … it’ll be fine. we’ve shared a room as friends before.”

he’s right, like he usually is. you two have shared a room before as just friends, but that had been as teenagers—back when you both harbored such hardcore crushes on each other that you two somehow didn’t notice.

“right,” you find yourself agreeing with a small nod.

“you should go get ready for bed.” megumi begins grabbing a few or the decorative pillow off of the bed. he places them gingerly on the brown couch tucked in the corner of the hotel room. “we’ll be getting up pretty early to deal with the brunt of the mission.”

to finish this mission as quickly as possible, you think.

and so you oblige and head to the bathroom. it’s december 19th, just a few days shy of christmas day, and you’re in bed with your ex boyfriend on the couch just a few feet away.

december 20th greets you with megumi hovering over you. he peers down at you with his messy bangs covering his eyes. they’re piercingly blue as he blinks. his lashes flutter perfectly, even in the early morning. your eyes meet his and you jolt awake.

“good morning,” he says. “your alarm has been ringing for a bit now, so i turned it off.”

you blink rapidly, getting the tiredness out of your eyes. “oh.”

he chuckles softly, just enough for you to catch it with your ears. he rises from his crouched position and heads to the front door. he spares you a glance over his shoulder before he heads out, presumably giving you the privacy you need. you let out a strangled breath before you swing your legs over the bed and head to the bathroom.

by the time you’re finished putting on your uniform, you swing the door to your hotel room open and see megumi leaned up against the wall, tapping away on his phone. his dark blue eyes flicker up to you and he turns away to head down the hall.

you furrow your brows. you can’t help but think that he’s being a little cold to you. it isn’t like you initiated the breakup. despite your frustration with his behavior, you can sort of understand why he wouldn’t want to be sweet around you; you two aren’t dating anymore and so it makes sense that he’d go back to being aloof in your presence, the usual way he acts around everyone else. losing that position in his life makes your stomach churn for reasons you’re less than willing to uncover.

your mission is a vague one; all you know is that it’s a clean-up mission. rather than a level 1 curse (or even a special grade), the mission consists of an acclimation of weak curses surrounding shinjuku. these missions are normally given to younger, more inexperienced sorcerers with the help of a senior sorcerer, but for an odd reason, it’s been given to you and megumi this year. megumi could’ve probably handled it himself. actually, you could’ve handled it yourself.

you bite your tongue to hold back on your complaints as you walk just a step behind megumi. he pauses regularly, waiting for you to catch up to his side. you roll your eyes in secret. does he not realize that you don’t want to walk next to him?

“it’s all just bars,” you mutter.

with that, you earn a tiny laugh from megumi. “well, yeah. this is the red-light district of shinjuku.”

you pale. “this sucks.”

“why do you think i wanted to come out here in the morning rather than at night?” he says, his tone strangely light.

“to deal with the brunt of the mission,” you repeat his words from last night sarcastically. you’re unsure as to what he’s talking about, so you think that it’s okay to give him a little bit of attitude.

he raises his brow but doesn’t comment on your sarcasm. instead, he says softly, “no, stupid. it’s because this is the red-light district. it’s unsafe for anyone, especially a pretty, young girl alone at night.”

your first thought is to coo and tease him. you think i’m pretty? it takes you half a second to remember that you two are broken up. you scoff, “i’m perfectly capable of handling myself.”

“i never said you weren’t,” megumi shoots back. “it would just be annoying explaining to the higher ups why you were fighting people and not curses.”

“i’m sure they’d understand,” you retort, frowning. you cross your arms.

“don’t be so pouty,” he says in that stupid, gentle tone he uses with you when you’re acting bratty.

you both decide to split up. well, it’s more like you demand the two of you to split up. you say it under the pretense that it’ll get the job done faster. besides, you both want to be home before christmas day, right?

there’s about two curses you cross paths with every hour. you’re starting to lose your mind. shouldn’t the streets be infested with them? you don’t even need a veil! all you have to do is give the weak curses just one punch and they vaporize on the spot. your head is running with hundreds of thoughts.

that’s when it hits you: the first years at the tokyo jujutsu school did come out here a week prior! maybe they did a bad job? but you remember nobara had been the one to lead the group. she may half-ass almost everything in her life, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her underclassmen for the sake of her freetime.

so why on earth are you here? it’s not like there are enough harmful curses for a mission to be assigned to you right before christmas, and to you and megumi of all sorcerers. you’re both strong enough to the point of having some kind of importance in the jujutsu world. the higher ups wouldn’t send the two of you on some stupid mission for the sake of it unless they’re planning some sort of secret execution. but even then, satoru gojo should’ve known through their lies to not send you or megumi. unless…he wants you two dead…?

you shake your head and bite your nails. the sun begins to set and you realize that you’ve been out here for longer than you expected. you’re starting to feel a chill in your bones—you had argued petulantly with megumi earlier about not wanting to wear your jacket despite it being the dead of winter; “it’s gonna get in the way!”

you always seem to forget the the sun sets earlier in the winter. it’s stupid how bright all the lights are in shinjuku. there isn’t a square foot of anything that isn’t lit up with neon signs reading out the names of clubs and bars. you see couples and large groups of people walking along the streets.

it’s lonely, you realize. it would’ve been less lonely with megumi.

you make your way to the meeting spot with megumi. you both share a few small words before retiring for the night. megumi says he wants to go sightseeing, even though there’s really nothing much to see. he doesn’t return to the hotel room until late at night.

when he slips into the only bed that the room offers, you chalk it up to the slight alcohol you smell on his lips. it feels so natural that you don’t push him away even though you should. his body is warm and you fit so perfectly against his broad chest that you think it’ll be okay for you to be a little selfish tonight.

“g’night,” megumi mumbles in his sleep.

you smile and nuzzle closer.

it’s december 21st as you realize how late it is in the day. megumi is back on the couch. you feel a tinge of disappointment in the bottom of your stomach.

to no one’s surprise, the sun is barely peeking over the buildings when you’re finally back in the red-light district. you’re doing the last bit of cleanup, but there’s really nothing much for you to clean.

tomorrow, you’ll be heading to a shopping mall, so you suppose you should do your best to sniff out the rest of the curses littering the place unless you want to stay here an extra day. the day is, yet again, slow.

it’s nearing 8 PM and you're finally sure that you’ve gotten rid of all the curses in the general area. you’ve been done for quite a while now, but you just haven’t found the courage to let megumi know that you’re ready to go back to the hotel room. a little sightseeing on your end wouldn’t hurt, right?

“hi, pretty.” a gravelly voice, battered by cigarettes, whispers in your ear.

you jump in surprise. you need to remember not to get too far into your head. you should’ve felt his presence coming from a mile away. it’s a terrible habit and satoru has scolded you for years about it.

“hi,” you mutter, pushing past his larger frame.

the man isn’t as nicely built as the men you know (but then again, your friends are jujutsu sorcerers, so it’s kind of hard to beat that), but he still towers over you. he’s got a squad of rough-looking guys behind him, smirking down at you.

“why’s someone like you alone?” he says, shoving his arm to loop around your waist.

you roll your eyes, getting ready to punch the man square in the nose. will you get in trouble? probably yes. will it be a funny story to tell? also probably yes.

“don’t touch my wife.”

the group of men turn their heads along with you to see megumi. his expression is shrouded with a mixture of anger and frustration. you blink in confusion—megumi usually looks pretty pissed off, but this is the most angry you’ve seen him in a while. and ‘wife’? what’s up with that?

“oh, my bad,” the man chuckles. “didn’t know this pretty thing was married.”

“this ‘pretty thing’ wants you to let her go,” you say with an overly sweet smile. your teeth clench and you hiss, “right now.”

the guy scurries down the sidewalk with his buddies trailing along, making fun of him for hitting on a married woman. nobody mentions the lack of a ring on your finger. nobody mentions the lack of a relationship, either.

“wife?” you scowl. “we’re broken up.”

“guys tend to back up when they know a woman is married. it’s the only way you can really, uh, get them to go away around here.”

you glare at him. “and how would you know? you come here often with girls?”

“...no?” he blinks, unable to comprehend your sudden burst of jealousy. “i sometimes get missions around here, though. pretending to be married was the easiest way—”

“we aren’t, though. we’re not even in a relationship.” you seem to be throwing that into his face a lot more than you should. you can’t help it, though. you still feel a little bitter about not getting a real reason as to why megumi wanted to break up.

“i was trying to help you.” he’s calm and collected, as heard through his voice. he walks up to you and takes your freezing hand into his much warmer ones. “let’s go home.”

“i don’t want to,” you argue.

“stop being a brat,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. “you’re cold and you’ve been out here all day. if i hadn’t stopped those guys, you probably would’ve beat them up pretty badly.”

“i’m not a fucking brat!” you try to retract your hand, but megumi’s grip only tightens.

“baby, stop,” the pet name rolls off his tongue with ease. megumi sighs softly and pulls you to his chest. “why are you so worked up, hm?”

from the way he speaks, you can tell that he already has an inkling. the breakup. cuddling last night. hugging you now. everything.

you don’t realize you’re crying until he gently wipes his thumb under your eye. he has the audacity to have an amused grin plastered on his stupidly pretty lips. your vision is blurry but if it hadn’t been, you would’ve thrown a punch.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers into your hair. “it’s all my fault.”

“it is,” you whimper pathetically. all the tears and the emotions you’ve been holding back bubble up to the surface.

“don’t be upset,” he almost pleads. “let’s go back, okay?”

the night ends with megumi on the couch. neither of you bring up the argument or the fact that he had slept in your bed with you last night. you two don’t talk about the usage of pet names, either.

when you open your eyes on december 22nd, you’re surprised to see that megumi has already headed out for the day. you click your tongue in annoyance—he’s always been good at avoiding his problems when it comes to dealing with them, especially problems involving his emotions. you already know where you’re supposed to be headed, so you suppose that it’s for the best that he’d left before you.

the shopping mall is a long line of vendors and stores among other things. the snow on the ground is fresh—it must’ve snowed late last night after you’d fallen asleep. it crunches underneath your beat-up sneakers with each step you take. you’re not shocked when you end up wandering aimlessly, dipping in and out of stores with no real urgency to finish your mission.

there’s nothing to do anyway.

you’ve killed about 3 curses total and it’s really starting to look like you’ve been sent out here for busy work. you really should’ve figured that out the first day of the mission when you had to practically beg the curses to come out and fight you.

you find yourself in the front of a jewelry store, eyeing a pretty bracelet that you know would look stunning around megumi’s wrist. it’s one of those bracelets that clasp tightly. there’s a thicker band in the center with pretty carvings that seem to resemble some sort of swirly heart. it’s pretty, you have to admit.

without much thought, you buy the gift.

the seller has to clear her throat to get your attention when you don’t answer her question. “um, would you like this to be wrapped?”

you nod absentmindedly. “oh, yes. sorry. please wrap it.”

she nods in return and proceeds to wrap the bracelet in a tiny box, adorning it with a festive bow. you ask her to change it out for a different color, explaining that it isn’t a christmas gift and instead, it’s for someone’s birthday. she offers you a warm smile before switching it with a muted blue ribbon.

you return to the hotel, having to take an expensive taxi. you don’t mind—the bracelet has already made a decent-sized dent in your wallet. why not spend an extra amount on getting home? it’s not like jujutsu sorcerers are paid poorly.

reality hits you when you finally get back to the hotel room. you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. did you really just buy a birthday present for your ex-boyfriend?

you’re thankful that megumi hasn’t arrived yet. he seems to be determined to avoid you for as long as he can. you can’t blame him, either. you did give him quite a hard time yesterday.

you toss the box on to the dresser and head to the bathroom to splash some much needed cold water on to your face. maybe that’ll wake you up enough to clear your mind. you’ve acted out once during this trip already and you’re not really looking forward to any other possible outbursts.

you rinse your face and pat yourself dry with one of the face towels provided to you by the hotel staff. you hang it over the rack again and tiredly make your way to your bed. you halt your movements when you see megumi standing by the dresser, admiring your gift.

he looks up at you in surprise with the smallest grin on his face. it’s so subtle that you would’ve missed it had you not been dating him for nearly two years.

“is this for me?”

“no,” you quickly deny. his face falls and you cough out, “um, i mean.. yeah. i-i didn’t… i… happy birthday.”

he brightens, lips pulling up into a real, genuine smile. “you remembered?”

“why wouldn’t i?” you blurt gently. you bite your inner cheek to stop yourself from saying anything more.

“i dunno.” his voice is distant and low, like he’s trying to hold back his tears. “i just…i didn’t think i was deserving of a gift from you. thank you. i like it.”

you stand awkwardly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. “yeah, well…”

“can you help me put it on?” he asks, sitting at the edge of your unmade bed.

you feel your body heat up. part of you screams for you to stop. you shouldn’t do that. it’s far too intimate and you two are broken up. you’ve never been good at making decisions, though, so you sit next to him and feel the mattress dip.

he gives you a grateful look, one that you willfully ignore, and gives you his wrist. you clasp the bracelet on, fingertips just barely grazing his skin. your heart skips a beat and you have to inhale sharply before pulling away.

“thank you,” he whispers.

december 23rd is a sore reminder that life goes on. you had half-expected something to spark between you and megumi. perhaps he’d beg for you back, or maybe with less wishful thinking, he’d give you his real reason as to why he doesn’t want you anymore.

“i don’t think we need to go anymore,” megumi says when you come out of the bathroom after freshening up.

“huh? why not?”

“there’s nothing out there.” megumi’s voice is flat.

“i know, but we’ll get in trouble if we…”

“gojo probably sent us out here for fun.”

your lips part. megumi turns to you with a slight frown.

“don’t you think so too?” he asks, but you know it isn’t a question he’s looking to find an answer to. “why would the higher-ups assign a mission like this to a special grade sorcerer and a grade 1 sorcerer? if they needed that much manpower, this mission would’ve been deadlier. instead, we’re playing cleanup crew.”

“yeah, but..” you trail off, unable to think of a statement to refute his words. “if we go back now, we’ll get chewed out.”

“it’s just a scolding. you’ll be fine.” megumi stands up and stretches his arms.

you watch him cautiously as he begins to fold his clothes and throw them into his duffel bag. he doesn’t say anything else, letting the silence overtake the room.

“...are we leaving, then?” you ask meekly, not bothering to hide the slight quiver in your voice.

he pauses slightly. “do you want to stay here until christmas? this mission is stupid and you know it. there’s no point.”

why is his tone so cold all of the sudden? it’s as if you two hadn’t shared a moment last night before bed. does your gift not mean anything to him now that he’s cleared his mind with a good rest?

your eyes flicker to his wrist. the gold glimmers underneath the light and you realize that megumi doesn’t seem to hate wearing it. so why is he acting so … unpleasant?

you feel a lump in your throat. it’s embarrassing how quickly he’s able to upset you from just the tone of his voice. even his body language, usually fluid and smooth, is rigid with your presence. you want to tell him that you’ve enjoyed your time with him. you want to shake his shoulders and tell him that if you two cut your mission short, you might not get another chance to be near him again.

“do you still care about me?” you whisper instead.

he stills completely. “what?”

“this entire time,” you begin shakily, “you’ve been nice to me. you treat me like you always do. you’re always hovering over me even though you pretend you aren’t! you obviously still care, megumi.”

his adam's apple bobs as swallows. a beat of silence. then two. then three.

“i do care,” he admits sorely.

“then why did you break up with me?” you blurt. there it is, the question you’ve been meaning to ask. you both had seen it coming.

“because…” megumi winces as if he’s the one getting hurt from the ordeal. “because you deserve someone that’s normal. someone that isn’t a sorcerer. i can’t give you that life.”

you feel your chest swarm with anger. why does he always think he needs to sabotage himself to make others happy? this is something you’ve tried working with him on, but it seems like old habits are hard to kill off, just like your habit of loving him.

“why the hell would you decide that for me? when did i ever say i wanted a normal life?” you snap. your hands clench at your sides.

“it’s too early for this,” he says, his voice straining as he finally musters up the strength to look at you in your eyes.

“tell me, megumi. if that’s the real reason, then that is the most pathetic excuse for a breakup i've ever heard.” your voice cracks and you gulp down the oncoming sob that’s threatening to explode from your throat.

he inhales slowly and makes his way to you, holding you close against his chest. you should push him away, but you would rather let him hug you. you know that you can’t fight him, anyway.

“you…once said you wanted a regular relationship. when you got hurt a few weeks ago, i realized i couldn’t be that for you,” he confesses lowly. “i knew that you’d never find it in yourself to leave, so i figured i should just let you go for your sa–”

“are you kidding me?” you shout incredulously. “i said that when i was fifteen, megumi! before i even knew what being in love was like!”

he flinches against you. “but i…”

“you and your damn savior complex! i don’t need to be in a regular, normal relationship! i don’t need any of that, megumi! i’m a sorcerer, I won't ever get to be normal! in fact, it’s even better that i’m with you because you at least know what this life is like, you idiot! you’re always ruining the good things in your life because you—”

he takes his fingers to grab your chin and he pulls you in for a kiss. if the kiss is a ploy to shut you up, you hate to admit that it’s working. his tongue slips into your mouth and you melt against him. your arms loop around his neck as you desperately drag him down closer to your body. his hand grip your waist while the other clings to the small of your back.

you whimper out of instinct and he pulls away, lips bruised and breathless. it’s been so long since you’ve tasted him and you frown, tiptoeing to capture his lips again. you need to savor him, to feel him lips against yours again.

“baby, wait.” his chest heaves as he looks down at you. “don’t…don’t do this to me.”

“do what?” you ask, an edge to your voice. did he just reject you? even after all that?

“w-we gotta report back to—”

“we’re supposed to leave tomorrow,” you interrupt.

the gears shift in his head. “fine, but—”

“i’m still really fucking mad, but i just need you to kiss me right now,” you whine impatiently.

all megumi does is laugh when he swoops down to press his lips against yours.

it’s december 24th when you two find yourselves in satoru’s office. steam is practically rising from your ears as you try to compose yourself in front of your former teacher.

“... i wanted a wedding invitation.” satoru shrugs.

“you set us up!” you whine angrily. “gojo, are you serious?! isn’t this a little immature?”

megumi stays silent, averting his gaze. he suddenly finds the succulents on satoru’s desk very interesting. he’s never noticed that they’re all nearly dead! how cool.

your eyes shoot daggers at megumi's silence.

"we aren't gonna get married any time soon..." megumi mutters when he feels your pointy glare on him.

satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. “you two can’t blame me! it worked out! you two are back together now, right?”

“but did you have to make us look like fools out there?” you groan.

“you should’ve figured it out on the first day that the mission was a sham!” satoru exclaims, offense taking over his features.

“but still!” you’re borderline hysterical at this point, unable to believe that your former teacher of all people had to set up an entire fake mission so that you and your ex could talk your feelings out. “we would’ve figured ourselves out sooner or later!”

megumi nods. he feels like he should at least give you a little support even if he’s embarrassed out of his mind.

“oh really?” satoru’s voice drips with sarcasm. “you guys should be thanking me—”

“you’re so not getting an invitation to our wedding!” you grumble.

“wha—hey! i’m the one that got you two back together! besides, i’m megumi’s guardian! you can’t just not invite me.”

“watch me!”

“megumi, tell her that she can’t do that—hey! where are you guys going? invite me, you rascals—why are you guys leaving? we aren’t done discussing this! megumi, don’t you dare take her side! she isn’t even your wife yet—don’t slam my door!”

[cattlemons]

Third Fifth Time's A Charm

| You and Megumi have been dating for quite some time now. Almost half a year, give or take. Upsettingly enough, he has yet to say his ‘I love you's. This bugs him a bit too much so Megumi is now a man on a mission and that mission just so happens to be about confessing his love to you. Basically the four times Megumi almost dropped the “L” word and the one time that he did. I mean come on, fifth time’s a charm, right?

TW: None, I think? I wrote it with college!au in mind but can be read as just a normal jujutsu kaisen fic Just fluff after posting angst, megumi gets chased by a duck? idk what counts as a tw pls let me know if I should add anything, also actual big boy writing cus word count is 3k.

---

Crumbs, ducks and hold on a minute... 

It was around October when the leaves were finally falling and the air was brisk. Megumi had decided to take you out for a mini-date before finals week whisks the both of you away, each secluded in their own world of ink and paper. 

It had honestly gone mostly ok and as planned. The usual schtick, really. Compliment your pretty outfit, exchange loving banters on the way there, get to the park and enjoy your time together. Simple and easy, right? 

Wrong. 

Megumi and you had just finished eating the sandwiches he’s prepared for the picnic. They were wrapped so neatly in pink patterned paper that you can’t help but swoon at the time and effort it must’ve taken for him to prepare it all. 

Megumi took to the toilet a bit after that, or, he planned to. What he didn’t see coming is the fact that ducks started chasing him around right as he walked past the pond. You soon learned that they were chasing him because of the bread crumbs falling off of his jeans. 

After a few bouts of running on Megumi’s part (and giggles from yours), the ducks finally stopped following him. Opting to squawk at the couple on the other side of the pond that’s actually trying to feed them crumbs and seeds. 

Megumi soon found relief as he sat back down beside you still huffing and puffing from the unexpected marathon he ran. Of course, you being the compassionate girlfriend that you are, did not let him off easy. At least, not without teasing him a bit. 

“You know those ducks have really good taste in men,” you quipped. A few beats of silence pass before the two of you erupt into a fit of laughter. 

You were nearly in tears as you continued to giggle uncontrollably at the mental image of Megumi getting chased and flirted with by ducks. Though you probably won't find your laughing any special, Megumi found it absolutely breathtaking. 

From the way your eyes brighten at the hilarious image to the sound of your held-in guffaws, Megumi just can’t get enough of it. He wants to hear it over and over again. He absolutely loves it. 

And he absolutely loves you.

Wait, huh?

Watson, how do you say “I love you”?

“Finally! No more stuffy libraries and definitely no more books! I’m so happy it’s over,” you yelled as you stretched out your tired back. 

Finals are over and you can now rest without worrying. However, it’s a whole other story for Megumi. He is still stressed out of his mind but not because of the reason you might think. No, he is stressed because he has yet confessed the feelings hidden deep in the recesses of his heart.

I love you. 

Who knew such simple words could drive one mad. Megumi never would’ve thought the stress his feelings would bring could trump the amount of stress an exam would bring but he supposes that he can only be so many times. 

Megumi has decided that maybe he should tell you the three words that have been plaguing his mind. So a few days after some much-needed rest, Megumi proposes a little trip to the art museum. Who were you to refuse such a sweet request?

Dressed in his most academic-looking attire, Megumi readies himself for his little confession, going so far as to script it. 

Yes, today he will confess!

Today he did not confess.

It really was the perfect moment. Megumi feels absolutely horrible for letting such perfect timing pass him by but nothing could be done about it now. 

The perfect timing came by when you were nearing the end of the date. It was a really fun date, possibly one of the best ones so far! Megumi had shown you around the museum, giving fun tidbits of information on each art he sees. You were about to point out how knowledgeable your boyfriend was before it finally clicked. 

“Ah! My dear Watson, I think I’ve solved the mystery. It turns out the Duke of Information, Megumi Noritoshi, has done ample research before this date! Proof in the pudding, Watson, look at his palms,” you teased as you took his hands into yours and pushed back his sweater sleeves to see smeared notes on his earlier “fun facts”.

Megumi’s face turned pink as he flushed at your exposing of his secret. Muttering a small, “Blimey, I’ve been caught!” in response to your little skit. 

Seeing him blush and flustered has you grinning (not that anyone could blame you, it really is a cute sight). Taking your chance, you decide to tease him a bit more. Opting for light nudges of your elbow and soft kisses all over his face. This, of course, did nothing to ease the red spilling all over his cheeks. If anything it painted more colors on his face. 

Once the teasing died down, you decided to maybe be a bit more heartfelt. After all, he did prepare for your date and put in so much effort to learn these facts and information. 

“I might not say this enough but I absolutely appreciate you putting this much effort into our dates… maybe I have not been vocal enough  about these things but I hope you know I really do appreciate you doing this and… I love you,” you mumbled a tad bit quieter than you usually would. You’re even caught sporting a light blush of your own despite you trying your best to keep a nonchalant front. This isn’t your first time telling him you love him but, still, being so heartfelt like this has you blushing.

Megumi smiled at his usually unbothered girlfriend being so, well, bothered. 

Wrapping his hands around your waist, he goes to give you a small peck on the crown of your head before leaning in a bit more to whisper his confession. 

I love you!

Yet the words did not seem to tumble out. Although a bit disappointed in his lack of confidence, Megumi recovered quickly and instead leaned in for a sweet kiss. 

I wonder if fishes have confessions too?

“Megumi look! They’re so pretty,” you exclaimed excitedly as you pointed at a jellyfish swimming past. Megumi nods in agreement though he is honestly paying more attention to you than the exhibit.

Megumi has taken it upon himself to set up another good date  to confess on. Truth be told, he’s had far too many nightmare-ish thoughts about his recent failures in confessing and how he’ll never be able to say it. So, to take action, Megumi decides to take you on another date. This time he decided that maybe visiting an aquarium would be fun!

He is sorely mistaken, unfortunately.

As you continue to walk through the exhibit, you fail to notice Megumi lagging a bit behind you in the aquarium tunnel. Your attention was so fixated by the fishes swimming over your head and on each of your sides, that you missed the sight of your boyfriend darkly muttering (and struggling) on his confession script. 

Or so he thought...

“Honestly, why can’t I just be a fish-”

“Why would you want to be a fish though?” you asked as you leaned in towards him. 

Megumi’s eyes widen in surprise at your sudden intrusion. Megumi supposes that he’s been too lost to the world. He shook his head and just muttered a quiet “never mind”. 

The day continued as you enjoyed your day. You feast your eyes on magnificent sea creatures both great and small; you can’t help but awe at them as a child would. Not that Megumi minded, he thinks you look absolutely adorable when you coo at the sharks or clap at the seals when they would do a trick. However, Megumi couldn’t say he’s enjoying today as much because he continued to struggle with his little confession script, either chickening out at the last minute or completely missing the perfect timing. 

By the end of the day, Megumi decided enough is enough. Under the dim lights of the empty “deep sea” sector of the zoo, Megumi closed his eyes and steeled himself. Summoning every bit of courage he had within him, he blurted out his confession. It was a bit aggressive and loud, perhaps even a bit rushed. 

But he did it-

-not.

Megumi opened his eyes, to be greeted not by your soft smile. It wasn’t even your frown. Instead, he was greeted by a fish staring directly at him through the aquarium glass. It seems to be mocking him, almost. And as for you, you were already at the other side of the area, lining up to pay for a souvenir that caught your eyes. 

Ugh, why can’t he just be a fish and blow bubbles at you to show his love? 

Wine is a  poetic mood-setter, right?

Although tired and defeated by his numerous failed attempts, Megumi is not one to give up. This is especially true when it comes to you. So, if one plan fails then best be known he is already running back to the drawing board to come up with a new one.

This time around Megumi decided to pull up on all the stops. Sparing no expense, he reserved a table at one of the city’s most high-end restaurants. I mean what could be more romantic than a late-night wine-and-dine?

To Megumi it’s not the pricey menus that are troubling, nor is it the number of strings he had to pull to get the reservation. Nope. What’s troubling him is the confession he is secretly building up to. You see, it’s been a good handful of months since Megumi came to the realization that he absolutely adores you. 

He loves you.

Yet, somehow, saying it out loud is a whole different league than thinking and coming to terms with it. Something about admitting it and posing vulnerable seems so jarring to him. Of course, you’ve never given him any reason to fear being honest with you. He supposes that if anything were to cause him to be this certain way, then it’s probably the lack of touchy-feely emotions in his childhood. That aside, Megumi is still as determined as ever to tell you that he loves you. This brings us to the current situation. 

Megumi is seated opposite of you, decked in his slickest suit and tie. You had admitted that he looks ridiculously good in his outfit before the dinner (he blushes at the comment). Naturally, you were also in a rather stunning number yourself, with the scandalous-looking outfit only you could possibly pull off. 

As much as Megumi would love to just admire you and enjoy the amazing atmosphere, he has other things currently occupying his head. At first glance, you might’ve thought that he was flustered by your choice of outfit for the night if you didn’t know any better. This is, of course, one of the reasons why Megumi was a bit dazed but sadly that’s not the only reason why. 

You didn’t really connect the dots right away. There are a bunch of little crumbs and pieces that could’ve contributed to Megumi’s flustered and jumpy attitude in this particular evening but nothing defining. 

The evening progressed and more telltale signs showed themselves to you. You could honestly write a meter-long list but to keep it concise, the things you have noticed include Megumi’s inability to look you directly in the eye, the rather incessant twiddling of his thumbs, the stutter that accompanied his usually leveled voice, and finally (and the most telling) is his avoidance of the word “love”. 

Of course, it could all be a coincidence but you think not. Although you didn’t do much to garner his “suspicion”, you’re not daft nor were you ignorant. You knew of his struggles in dropping a particular “L” word. You had honestly known for a while. It’s not that you were a psychic or anything of that sort, it was actually because Megumi had not been the most secretive of his plans. You suppose he intended for it to be a “hush-hush” plan but unfortunately for Megumi, he had a tendency to think out loud when stressed. 

Though you were originally planning to let Megumi off the hook and let him figure things out on his own, you decided that leaving him to wallow on his own is doing more harm than good. So when Megumi choked rather aggressively at his pasta when you said the word “love”, you chose to bring up the topic. 

“So, when are you gonna tell me what’s been cooking up in that head of yours… hmm?”

Megumi’s eyes widened at the question you’ve just asked, though it seems more like a prompt than a question. Megumi looked down to his lap for a second before facing you again, this time sporting an embarrassed flush on his cheeks. 

Megumi struggled to confess before letting out a defeated sigh and a small apology. This caused you to shake your head, not in a dismissive way but in a way to tell him that there’s nothing to be sorry for. 

“Megumi, I know you know I know so I’ll just say it outright,” you huffed before continuing, “I love you’s aren’t something you can or should force out. I’ve said it to you on countless accounts because it comes naturally to me, love. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel cornered into saying it but please know that I don’t mind you taking your time, ok?”

Your little speech was met with a relieved sigh and soon followed by a laugh. You look up to see Megumi’s genuine grin in place, you can’t help but smile at the endearing sight. 

“Ahh, I should’ve known not to stress over these kinds of things when it’s with you, huh? Thanks. I’ll definitely take my time with it.” 

You nodded in agreement at his newfound determination. As much as you wanted to hear those three words tumble out of his lips and uttered to you, you knew better than to rush him into it. And besides, hearing it in full sincerity will definitely be better than hearing a rushed one. With all that said, you and Megumi enjoyed the rest of the evening with wine glasses raised and the air filled with happy chatters and laughs. 

And I thought it was difficult, huh?

A streak of light shone through the gaps in the curtains, making it known to you that it is time to get up already. Or, at least, it would be time to get up had it been a weekday. Thankfully, however, it is the weekend so you can take your time in getting up. While your boyfriend slept soundly beside you, his hand draped loosely over your figure, you can’t help but admire his features. As you did so, thoughts on what happened a while back popped into your head. 

 It’s been a few months since your last dinner date with Megumi and things have calmed down quite a bit. Although Megumi still feels a twinge of guilt from his lack of response whenever you whisper an “I love you”, he does remember your take on this situation, and those few words you spared have done immense work in calming him down. 

As you continue to reminisce on the events that have transpired in the last few months, you failed to notice Megumi stirring awake beside you. You only notice that he’s awake when he’s poking your cheek, asking, no, demanding petulantly for his morning kisses. 

Deciding to tease him a bit while he’s still in his morning daze, you uttered, “Sorry, love. Morning breath.” You went as far as sniffing at his general direction and fanning your hands over your nose and scrunched your nose up in fake disgust. 

Still in a sleepy stupor, Megumi pouts at you and goes to get out of bed. You decide to let your curiosity win and end up following your boyfriend to the bathroom, the cold linoleum tiles doing wonders in waking the two of you up immediately. 

Though he is now much more awake now than a few minutes ago, it didn’t dampen his pout one bit. With the handle of his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, Megumi babbled on about how his day is now ruined because you wouldn’t let him start it off with a kiss. You only giggled in response, your own toothbrush poking out of your lips. 

Being the menace that you are, you decided to playfully smear Megumi’s face with some toothpaste foam. One thing led to another and soon you two are on the bathroom floor laughing aloud. Somehow his laugh and expressions egged yours on and yours did his which caused a new bout of laughter to erupt every time you’d both fall silent. It went on like this for quite some time but neither of you minded it one bit.  

Now that the laughter has died down a bit, you both exchanged mini banters here and there, still seated on the floor with both your shoulders touching; with toothpaste in your hair and on his cheek. As you giggled at a particular joke Megumi muttered, he felt that odd feeling in his heart again, just like the time in the park and all those other dates he stressed over but this time, before he could stop it, he whispered…

“I love you.”

Your laughter immediately ceased only to be replaced by the happiest grin you’ve ever mustered. With new buzzing energy coursing through you, you tackled Megumi into a hug which effectively knocked the two of you down to the ground but neither you nor Megumi minded.

With his newfound confidence, Megumi repeated the foreign sentence over and over again as if he’s testing it out. He finds that he likes saying it. 

He likes it because your smile widens a bit more when he says it. 

He likes it because you’d give him kisses whenever he says it.

And he absolutely loves it because you’d always say it back to him.

With a wobbly and lovesick grin, Megumi says it one more time for good measure. 

“I love you.” 

a.n. I did not really proofread this bcs I had classes today and it KO'd me :"(

Hope you liked it!

[kiatheinsomniac]

hi kiaa!! i hope youre doing good and school is going good too :) dont overwork yourself pls girl 😩❤️

since requests are open i figured id come and request something!! how would the assassins (altair, ezio, connor, arno, and jacob) react to the reader being extremely sick? how would they take care of the reader? would they be scared of catching the sickness? etc etc. ❤️

☾ ⋆ ﾟ𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: yeee, uni's been fine! i'm done until september now so all I really have to do is pray I've passed all my modules (looking at you, spanish and latin american culture and italian history) and do my summer reading for next year's modules <3 and i make sure to never overwork myself on my blog! i really like what i do here anyway so i can manage lots of writing hehe 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: altaïr, ezio, connor, arno, jacob 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: very slight angst in Jacob's part

｡･:*˚:✧｡ altaïr ibn-la'ahad

♡ Altaïr takes a break from his work to look after you. When he knows you'll do alright on your own for a while, he'll go out to train for a few hours to stay in shape but that and cooking meals for you are the only times he'll be leaving your side.

♡ he'll do everything he can to keep your temperature normal whether it's tenderly wiping down your body with a cool, damp cloth while another is folded over your forehead or he's having to bundle you up with blankets while he spoon feeds you, he'll stay by your side to keep you company and will be reading books while you rest.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ezio auditore

♡ Ezio brings in whatever doctors he can find to look after you but he'll be hovering around in the meantime to make sure they're treating you well and being careful (he'll honestly treat you like you're made of glass).

♡ he'll stay by your side for as long as possible and even if he has to leave you in Claudia's or a doctor's care for the day, he's in the kitchen in the evening cooking meals that Maria taught him to make and then sitting on the edge of your bed to feed them to you while he asks how you've been and he tells you about his day.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ratonhnaké:ton | connor kenway

♡ Ratonhnhaké:ton will treat you himself for as much is in his ability to before he goes into town to call out a doctor to see you. He'll diligently follow any perscriptions that you're given and he'll put almost everything on hold to look after you. He grew up without a father, he lost his mother and his whole village - he's not going to lose you too.

♡ he'll make sure you get enough fresh air, enough water, enough to eat. He'll be making herbal concoctions for you to help you heal faster. He just wants to see you better again.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ arno dorian

♡ he calls in the best doctors he can right away. He doesn't want to leave your side and he'll take some time away from the brotherhood is he has to. He'll cook for you, light meals like soups or stews that are easier for you to eat in your current state.

♡ he'll read to you but he keeps his distance a little. He doesn't want the both of you to get sick because then he won't be able to look after you.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ jacob frye

♡ Jacob's never really been good at the caretaker role. Even when he was younger and Evie was ill, their father was the one to look after her while he was just left to his own devices. Jacob would always notice that he didn't receive the same level of emotional care from his father when he fell ill though.

♡ so, he calls in a doctor/nurse and follows all the instructions they give him to look after you. He doesn't care if he gets ill too, he'll cuddle with you and chat with you and he'll even sing quietly to you while cooling your forehead with a damp cloth or bundling you up in blankets. He'll basically care for you in every way he's advised and then in every way he noticed Evie got but he didn't from their father but he always wanted. He doesn't want you to feel the way he did.

☾ ⋆ ﾟlike my work? why not: ∘ buy me a coffee? ∘ commission me? ∘ join my taglist ∘ consider following/reblogging

🏷️@gojohater101 @ayameiris4 @veryfancydoilies @asuni921 @writing-noah @danielle-marie @minimisthios @tired-lime @ghostofpolaris @etherealsdreaming @loopycorn1123 @havatnah @firagirl @catou1305 @daddyadler @aarnodoriann @b3k1720 @asianbutnotjapanese

[pygmi-cygni]

T minus 8

Y'all can figure out the title situation by now, right?

content warning: basically the same as the last two chapters, less techy stuff dw, blood, some more anxiety, tension, angst

is it weird that the head doctor's name is Ben? I realized he might get confused with Ben Reilly (tho i don't plan on mentioning him) if it's funky lmk

also - taglist ppl, if you want to be on my general (all fic) tag list, pls specify, I just have you on this specific fic's taglist.

enjoy!

This was ridiculous. Fucking unacceptable. You were not going to let this manchild disrupt your workflow. You had gone through med school, the collapse of your entire universe, and countless crazy patients.

Miguel O'Hara was not going to be your downfall.

After escaping to your room after the brush with death - aka Miguel's fangs - you'd had a good cry before realizing the situation.

You can deal with it, or you can drown in it.

Though your education was in healthcare, a mandatory part of medical training was mental wellbeing and psychology. You had a few coursebooks lying around...

Despite the words bleeding together and the stained coffee mugs littering your floor, you pored over textbooks until early the next morning. Fuck Miguel and his needles. You were going to do your job with the least number of puncture wounds possible.

You strode into his sickroom with a fresh coat of concealer and a thick stack of papers. No syringe in sight.

He was immediately suspicious of your lifted chin and confident stride. You could feel his apprehension tingling, carmine gaze following you around his temporary abode. Let him judge. At the end of the day, you had the needle and he had a sore elbow. Not your fucking problem.

"This is how this is gonna go," you said flatly, rolling next to his bed with a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Twice a day, I am going to come in here and give you a shot. Then, I'm gonna force feed you and take your vitals. Then, I'm gonna do it again the next day and the next until this day," you circled the small calendar at the bottom of the sheet. "And you aren't gonna give me any shit about it, okay?"

The words tumbled out as precise as you'd practiced in front of the mirror twenty times that morning.

Miguel's eyebrow lifted at your direction but his mouth stayed curled in a sneer. You swallowed, willing him to say something. The strong facade you'd put on was slowly succumbing to sleep deprivation.

Too early to give in.

You were stuck in another staring match, so focused on his blistering glare that you didn't realize he was slowly leaning closer. Until his breath brushed your ear and you could see his teeth glimmering.

"No."

One word, and your spine was quaking with shivers. You blinked rapidly, veering away from him. His impassive stare returned and he leaned back into his pillows.

You sat stunned. Then pissed.

"That's not the correct answer," you said coolly. His eyebrows twitched again. Did he think you would cower and scamper off again? What a surprise he was in for.

"Easy way or hard way, Miguel," you taunted, pulling out one of the two doses. "If you let me do this, in five seconds it will be over and I'll be gone."

He didn't look at you, but subtly shifted away from the offensive syringe.

"Or you could drag it out until you're crying and you'll still get a poke."

Another bloodcurdling stare. Aw, the big baby doesn't like it when I call him a coward. Too bad.

You could hear the gentle uptick in his heartrate as you began to prep the area, wiping gently with an alcohol patch. His breaths were louder, whistling above your head. It didn't take this long to clean an injection site, but you wanted to give him time to realize what was going on.

"Wait," he muttered, snatching your wrist before you could grab the medicine. You let him and hoped he couldn't feel your own rapidly beating heartrate. Using your other wrist this time, you took up the syringe and tried to nudge the protective seal off.

"Not yet," Miguel protested, batting you away. You fixed him with a warning glance.

"Easy or hard, big guy, but it's gonna happen."

He tried to swat you again, but you barked out a "Stop."

Flinching, he retreated. Anger simmered in his eyes, but he bit his tongue. You tried to soften your tone. He's a patient, be nice. He's hurt, it's just the adrenaline.

"Don't swat me when I remove the seal, you might accidentally stick yourself," you explained kindly. Replacing the seal, you set the needle on the tiny table next to him. Miguel regarded you warily, unsure if he could trust your sudden surrender.

Talking. He liked the talking last time. Trying to medicate him in this state would be impossible, you had to de-escalate.

"Why...why is this hard for you? I mean, what's the scary bit?" You sat back, keeping your hands empty and in view of him.

He snorted and fidgeted with his hospital bracelet.

"I need to work," he said gruffly, looking at the clock, then wincing. You tilted your head.

"No, I meant about the nee-"

"I need to get back to work," he insisted, "I've been gone too long. The Society won't survive without me."

You leaned forward and peeled back the blankets. He knew better than to stop you, but you could sense his agitation.

"Until that-" you pointed to the sour-smelling bandages crusted with blood, "goes away, you won't be going back."

"That's impossible."

"Cry about it." You dismissed his annoyance as you peered at the dirty gauze. You'd replaced it only a few hours ago, how bad was the infection? It shouldn't have absorbed the ointment and worsened. A crease furrowed your brow. You reached out to feel around the wound. He groaned, twitching under your hands. The pale complexion returned, and sweat had dried around his chest.

How come he didn't ring for help?

"Okay, let's try something else," you said slowly. "I'm gonna replace these and clean you up, got it?" The expected silence rang out, and you took it as a green flag.

It took you a few moments to collect your scissors, gauze and other supplies, all the while Miguel was breathing heavily through his nose. You were calm as morning fog while you worked, barely wrinkling your nose at the foul smell.

What the....The wound was ragged and swollen. Had you been the only person paying attention? The torn was flesh had clearly been neglected, or else it wouldn't be nearly as rancid.

Don't freak out, you reminded yourself, feeling Miguel's scowl directed at your face. He doesn't need to know.

"That's not supposed to be like that," he guessed, reading your obvious distress. you startled and tried to smile, but it wavered.

"No! No, it's..." you trailed off, acutely aware that he saw right through your act.

Deciding to focus on the task at hand, you began carefully snipping away at his bandages. It was soothing, just another routine. he's not dying he's not dying it's just a routine check up, nothing terrible, it's okay

Is the poison contagious after contact?

You froze, realizing Dr Ben had never explained the dangers of exposure. You had your gloves, but they were flimsy, and a paper mask could only do so much. Fuck. You'd already gotten blood and gore on your hands, it wasn't really a good time to fix that.

Here goes nothing.

Miguel did a stellar job of not biting your head off, though his pained grunts and clenched fists didn't help your heart rate. You were efficient and cleaned him up quickly, though his appearance wasn't improving. It was only day two. Not good.

"Okay, scary part," you warned, reaching again for the syringe. He was still riled up from the agony of his new dressings. It wasn't the way you wanted it to go, but he was running out of time.

"I can't bargain with you on this," you said shakily, "because it isn't up to me. i'm just the messenger, and I don't know how else to tell you."

Deep breaths.

"Your tissue is decaying, and if I don't give this to you, you won't be able to work at all. Ever," you added for emphasis when he almost protested. "I know you hate needles, I know you hate being here, I know you hate me, but seriously, please just let me do my job."

your hands were shaking. He looked...impassive, as if he'd turned to stone during your plea. Stick him. Just do it, just poke him right in the arm, he's not moving-

Miguel inclined his chin and released his harsh grip. You were shocked and almost dropped the syringe. That was quick. Maybe it wasn't the needle?

"You gonna stab me or what," he snapped. Scurrying forward, you gently took his hand in yours and probed for a vein.

"Little poke," you whispered, before carefully injecting the vial of clear liquid into his bicep. He let out a strangled groan and grabbed your arm, clutching for dear life. You let him squeeze, though his grip was threatening to cut off your circulation. Breathe breathe breathe he's okay you're okay it's okay breathe

"Not so hard, yeah?" you kept your voice quiet, rubbing his shoulder carefully. Miguel was still in the throes of panic before he suddenly blinked awake. Like a robot, his arms were at his sides and he stared straight ahead.

Confused, you searched his gaze. A haze had gone over his irises, but nothing extreme. All good so far. As quietly as possible, you ran through his vitals and coaxed a cup of water into him.

After a few minutes of waiting by his side, you signed off on his form and backed out of the room.

3 down, too many to go.

And so it went. He never looked at you, never acknowledged your existence each time you peeked into his room. A week went by, for better or worse. His wound was making disappointing progress, but it wasn't getting worse.

However, his approach to the needle wasn't getting better either. He liked the talking, seemed to calm him slightly when you rambled about other patients or your daily routine.

But whenever your hand ducked into your coat pocket, his face would go hard and he'd hunch like a cat, hissing and scratching when you got too close.

"Miguel, please," you begged, eyes pricking with tears. It had been a long day. the longest. four spiders lost, three injured, and one in critical condition. You'd worked your ass off, then slogged to your last patient. you just didn't have the fight in you.

Did he like to torture you?

"I will do anything, please just fucking stay still."

he hesitated.

"Anything?"

"I don't fucking care, please give me your wrist-"

"Let me go back to work." His tone was defiant, but urgent.

You fixed him with a no-nonsense glare. "You know the answer to that."

"I have the multiverse to attend to," he gritted out, "this stupid arrangement is not more important than that."

You couldn't fucking deal with this. "I will rip your fucking teeth out, you animal, I don't care how important you are-"

"I control the fate of-"

"I am acutely aware of that, O'Hara," you shouted finally, throwing the capped needle at him. He swore and ducked.

"I am so fucking aware that everything you do affects my wellbeing. But if you don't sit still and stop acting like a fucking child then you'll die and so will the rest of us." You were crying and your head hurt and the syringe was probably shattered but you just wanted to go home.

"I want to go home," you blubbered, "and I want to go to bed. If you let me do my job, then you can do yours. Please." You whispered, begging.

Miguel's nostrils flared, barely holding back. Maybe if he bit you again, you could take a long nap and this would all be over.

"One condition."

Your head thumped against his mattress. "I don't wanna argue with you-"

"One dose, one favor."

You rolled your face to the side, sighing tiredly. "I'm not having sex with you."

He sputtered, fangs shifting in surprise. "Wh-ay dios-no that's not- I meant a-" Miguel scowled at you for as he understood your delirious laughter was at his gullibility.

"I take the dose, no fuss, you do me a favor," he tried again, "professionally."

Any win was a win in your book. "Fine."

He relented, sticking his arm out and bracing against the handrail. Afraid he would double back on his promise, you stuck him a little more aggressively than you needed to in your rush.

"Okay, big guy, what'll it be?"

"Give me my work laptop."

Bastard. "That's cheating-"

"You said-"

"Fine," you spat, tossing the empty syringe in the bin. "One hour."

"Three."

"One."

"That dose hurt," he protested, and you rolled your eyes.

"Fine. Two."

A moment later, his laptop was under your arm and you were checking off another day on the calendar.

It definitely got easier. A tentative agreement had settled between you: one dose, two hours of work. It did seem to help his mood. Miguel still flinched when you aimed the syringe for his arm. He stayed still when you changed his bandages and kept his fangs to himself.

You were fitting him for the pressure cuff when you noticed. Last week, even the biggest cuff size could barely fit around his massive arm. Today, you could easily wrap it with a few inches to spare.

Frowning, you made sure nothing had come undone in the packaging. Everything was intact. Had he been flexing before?

"Um...do you mind flexing your arm for a second?"

He looked puzzled at the request, but did as asked. You tried again, but even then the cuff was loose.

"Nevermind, that's...that's fine, thanks." You gave a tight smile and jotted something down in your notes.

After his shot, you tried to see if the rest of his body was changing. He was still enormous, but there did seem to be a lackluster quality about him. Miguel's energy was reduced, his anger less potent and he was definitely tamer.

"Miguel, are you feeling okay?" you asked tentatively, gauging his reaction. Usually you knew better than to interrupt his working time, his anger would snap.

But today, he merely grunted and shrugged. Definitely lethargic. Trying to rationalize, you figured it might be his body finally adjusting to the medication.

Making a quiet excuse, you ducked into the adjacent office and discreetly dialed Ben.

"I'm worried it's not working," you whispered, chewing on a hangnail. Dr Ben hummed on the other line.

"His stats are looking a little low. I'll have another doctor check him out. You've done well so far, kiddo, this is a tough case. Take today off, yeah?"

You blinked at the quick change in subject. At least the problem was getting looked at...but Miguel still had his evening dose. I'll just come back for that, you amended. It had been so long since you'd had a day off.

In the few hours between your brief pop-in and Ben's call, you'd gotten groceries, done your hair and even had time to watch a movie.

Feeling refreshed, you threw on your gloves and pulled up Miguel's file.

Nothing had changed, really, except a small yellow notification underneath his recent immunizations. Single (1) dose of R4GE-57 administered at 2100.

What?

The meds Ben prescribed hadn't been titled, and you weren't even in the building at 2100.

Frowning, you pushed into Miguel's room.

"Hey, Mig-"

You stopped. He was sitting on his bed, hands folded limply on his lap. His eyes were open but unfocused. You tiptoed closer.

"Miguel?"

His head twitched, but his eyes had difficulty following your movements.

"You're not s'posed to be here," he slurred gravelly. His tone made you pull up short. You two weren't friends, but you'd definitely passed the growling stage.

"Ookay," you said slowly, "but I need to give you your last dose for today."

"No, that lady did. Maria."

Nothing made sense. Maria hadn't given him his second dose cause it would have been two hours early. And you were holding the second syringe, which was very much full.

"Wh...What do you mean? Maria shouldn't have given you-"

"Are you being slow?" His tone was vicious, lips curled to reveal his incisors. Miguel hadn't snapped like that in a week. You balked, retreating a step. Okay, take a deep breath. He's definitely unstable.

"That other nurse gave me the medicine, you are wasting my time," he snarled. Your heart rate was steadily rising. Breathe.

"Just let me-"

Your hand was halfway to his wrist when he lunged.

no no not again-

A cry ripped from your throat as your head collided with the edge of the table, and a dull ringing overwhelmed your senses. throbbing washed over you in waves, pulsing like a drum in tune with your panicked heart.

Nothing was focusing. Were you crying? Someone was shouting, it was bright and your head hurt and where-?

Somebody was dragging you away, and you uselessly batted at their hands.

He's my patient he didn't mean to no stop wait he needs his meds

Surely it wasn't your wailing, that angry wounded animal howling over the thumping ache in your skull.

He was making progress...

did i just make a simple enemies to lovers into a weird crazy multiplotline clusterfuck? yes. yes I did.

tags:

@neeshsoodrippedout

@ridiculous-hibiscus

let me know if u wanna be added/removed xox

[icedmatchatae]

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter V: Same Old, Different New

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Underage alcohol consumption (in the flashback), everyone is basically in this chapter pls bear with me lol

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I'm so sorry for not posting last night HHHH I got sucked into doing something last minute but please enjoy!

Chapter V: Same Old, Different New || Series Masterlist

“Hyungie, open up.” You say as you held a spoonful of fish stew in front of your ill bedridden best friend.

Being at the ripe age of nine, Taehyung thought it was a good idea to play on one of the days of Geochang’s rainy season. Being his best friend, you were easily influenced despite the protests of both his parents and your grandparents. You both thought they were just there to ruin your fun, but in reality, it was to protect you because days after you got sick but not Taehyung for some miracle.

However, Taehyung made it his goal to take care of you such as feeding you, tucking you in bed, putting a cold cloth on your heated forehead, and giving you disgusting ginger lemon tea to help your sore throat.

Eventually, you got better within the week, but it was Taehyung’s turn to get sick and you immediately felt bad that he got it from you. Nonetheless, you made it your goal as well to care for your best friend.

Taehyung opened his mouth and took in the delicious content. He was pampered by the Gods, or in this case, you. You did the same thing, but better—his words, not yours. You fluffed his pillows, cuddled with him since you were immune to any sickness, and scratched his scalp to his liking.

“You’re the best at taking care of me.” He cheesed, wiggling in happiness under his blankets.

“Not as much as you did with me! Look I’m better!” You countered, giving him more spoonfuls of soup. “Plus, I’m the one who got you sick…”

“True, but I would be upset if it were anyone else. You’re an exception.” He reassured you. “If I got it from Eunjeong and Sungyeon, there would be problems.” You laughed at his sayings.

“You’re such a mean eldest brother.” You joked to which he pouted. “But you’re the best of best friends.”

The sides of his lips lifted upwards forming his rectangular smile. “Impossible. You’re number one, Blue.”

You hummed and shrugged, “Maybe to you. But you’re number one to me.” You tilted the bowl towards him, so he can finish it all up. He slurped the remaining in the dish and gasped in satisfaction, thanking you a million times more.

“Taehyung, stop. You don’t need to do that.” You pushed away the chopsticks holding a piece of tuna that Taehyung pushed in front of your face.

The morning arrived sooner than you liked and the hospital was filled with more murmurs and rushing health professionals from behind the door of your room. You were tired as hell, but the nurse suggested you eat first before going back to sleep. You were assigned to eat three meals daily due to your previous eating habits, so the tray before you had all the nutrients you needed for breakfast.

Though you expected to be alone by now, Taehyung was still right by your side. It made you curious that he was here and not at home. Didn’t he have like…a busy life as an idol? Now he was trying to feed you food.

You were a bit embarrassed by it but more so uncomfortable at how he was being. You remembered how you used to take care of one another when the other was sick, but this was different.

“But you need to eat, Blue.” He frowned. “Plus lemme take care of you like when we were younger.” He pushed, but the blank stare in your demeanor made him put the utensils down. You sighed in relief so that you could finally eat on your own.

“Don’t call me Blue. I may have said yes but you haven’t earned anything yet for you to call me that. That was before and now is different. Do you understand me? I also can eat for myself, it’s not like my limbs aren’t working. I’m grown too.” You informed with a stern tone as you mouthed a spoonful of rice. You saw him frown, biting his lip and nodding. You hated that you felt guilty for being cruel but it was true. You couldn’t let him in that easily. “But I appreciate what you’re doing for me. You know you can leave right?” You eased him, noticing how tensed he was before.

He nodded before licking his lips as a habit. “I know, but I don’t want you to be alone here. I remember how you get…”

He did it again, but this time you let it slide. You scrunched your face at the hard reality of those words. You really hated being by yourself, especially in new environments. You’ve been in Seoul for a little over half a year, but everywhere you went didn’t seem as right. Most likely because you were alone for the majority of the time, but you couldn’t do anything so you had to suck it up and get used to it.

“Thank you again.” You told him, politely smiling.

“No need to thank me, Bl—I mean, ___.” He chuckled nervously as he watched you eat more and more, looking appreciative at how you were stuffing your cheeks.

The atmosphere was somewhat awkward, but it wasn’t as bad as before. It just…needed some getting used to again. Taehyung was a person you held many memories with, then he vanished for years and now he was back, so it was difficult to approach it without acknowledging the gap and distance between you two. But hey, it was something.

“So…” You cleared your throat. “How long do I have to be here?”

“I told them a month because you needed to rest, but I knew you would complain…”

“And you’re right about that.” You responded, sipping on some orange juice.

“So the doctors compromised with two weeks,” Taehyung informed as he drank his hot chocolate. You pondered that he was still anti-coffee after all these years, but never told him.

“Two weeks is too long. I don’t have any illness or broken anything really. I still have work and scho—”

“While you were out, Kenji and Seojoon Hyung were with me before they left for the night. Kenji told me to tell you that you’re off until you were in stable condition.” He reported as he leaned back into his chair.

“But—”

“He also mentioned that I should fight you until you agreed. His words, not mine.” The idol grinned, remembering the little complaint the younger man displayed. But then the smile vanished as to why he took the advice from someone that barely knew you. Also though Kenji meant no harm, it felt like poison in the idol’s veins every time you interacted with your coworker.

You slapped your palms over your eyes and groaned. “Then he mustn’t know how expensive staying at a hospital is. It’s gonna cost me a for—”

“No, I paid for everything.” He shook his head before you looked at him flabbergasted.

Your jaw dropped as you blinked dumbly, “No, you shouldn’t have. Stop—”

“Why not? ___, you haven’t taken care of yourself properly. You were literally dehydrated and starving yourself, in addition to putting all this unnecessary stress on you. Kenji told me you’re working seven days now while still in school!” Why did Kenji know so much about you? Taehyung grew concerned and wanted to know who your coworker exactly was. “I know we’re still in a weird purgatory with our friendship that we rekindled three hours ago, but I still care for you, if not more than before, whether or not we grew apart. I don’t like when you do this to yourself, you of all people should know. It’s not healthy, and you know I’m right.”

He was scolding, and you were pissed, but you couldn’t deny that he was right. Similar events happened like this where you would faint in school or at home. They weren’t chronic, but it was mainly due to having so much stress at a very young age. Your body went into overdrive at certain points where it couldn’t handle thus blacking out. Stressors came from socializing, helping your family farm on the weekends, your elderly grandparents aging, studying in school, the list could go on and vary by the person.

Taehyung was there for almost all of your fainting and stood by you while holding your hand to ensure that you weren’t feeling as stressed. He’d scold you, kinda like now, but it was because he was worried. He tried doing the most for you, whether it was being the first to speak to someone, to helping you on the farm to assisting you and your grandparents with some daily stretches, to reduce muscle tension.

“Y—you’re right…” You exhaled as you glanced at him. His pupils dilated with his lips apart, surprised that you were being levelheaded with him rather than yelling. “This was my first faint in Seoul, so I’m sure everyone except you didn’t know what to do.”

Taehyung hummed faintly before his eyebrows pushed together, “Did you faint after…you know…I—” He hated mentioning it, but it happened. Fortunately, you knew what he was talking about so you nodded.

“A lot during my undergraduate years actually…” This brought an aching frown onto the idol’s face. “I was never alone though. I had roommates who helped and it was usually surrounded by crowds. Although it was sometimes too much for them…”

Saturated silence covered the room, though it was even lighter compared to a couple of minutes ago. Maybe it was that you were both “catching up,” but this wasn’t something you’d expect with “catching up.”

Nevertheless, Taehyung reached for your hand and opened your palm out. Using his thumbs, he applied pressure to it, thumbing down your skin. He has done this before as past time while you were both doing nothing but having your quality time. “I wish for you to never go through with that again. If so, I hope that it would happen when you’re with me.” He spoke timidly, being careful with his wording. “Please take care of yourself. I don’t wanna see you in a hospital again unless you’re giving birth.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed as you tried hiding the laughter within you, “You’re a shithead, you know that?”

“Mmm, no. I’ve heard asshole and dick.” He shrugged as a light smirk formed on his lips. You looked away as you continued finishing your food. “But I really am serious when I say to take care of yourself. Now if you want me to take c—”

“I’m not making you do that.”

“Then you take care of yourself.” He stated. “Saying you’re a grown woman, yet you drink three cans of Coke as a meal??”

You pouted, having no comeback so you finally let it go and agreed. “Fine, but the hospital bill. You didn’t need to do that.”

“I want to and I can. It’s all part of caring for you, okay?”

You sighed before nodding. You were still careful of him, but you accepted his presence back into your life. Improvements were being made slowly but surely. You wondered how this would go.

The nurse came by again to give Taehyung a complimentary meal. Perks of being an idol you assumed but as she settled the tray down, she turned her head to say, “By the way, Mr. Kim. There’s someone outside of the room. She said she has been notified by one of the people on the entry list for Miss ___.”

Before Taehyung could even speak, you interjected. “It’s probably Halmeoni. Kenji must have told her where I was and wanted to check up on me. Send her in.”

The nurse has a puzzled expression but merely nodded as she left the room. Taehyung shifted back at you and said, “You have a nice boss…”

“Well, ye—” You barely completed your sentence as the door slammed open, flinching you and Taehyung. Your eyes searched for the sound, then creased your forehead at this newcomer. She was definitely not Halmeoni, not even being a Halmeoni. 

But Taehyung knew exactly who she was. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, dressed in her athleisure wear, yet sported a YSL crossbody bag. Her face writhed with frustration, but eyes bounced off of him and you, someone who she doesn’t know.

The idol got up from his seat and faced his body to his girlfriend. “C-Clara—“

“Tae, where have you been? You’ve been gone the entire night and missed our morning walk together.” Clara complained as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Since you were with Seojoon Oppa, I called him and ask where you were and he said the hospital. I came right away thinking you were hurt, but the front desk told me you were a visitor and—”

Her eyes landed on you. Nothing on you or your face screamed familiarity to her mind. Her brain couldn’t click at the sight of you, but her thoughts questioned who were you and how you knew her boyfriend. But despite looking rather sickly, the socialite deemed the visual of South Korea thought you were pretty.

Intimidatingly and competitively pretty.

“Who’s she?” Clara simply asked Taehyung who was practically a goldfish.

No thoughts were running through his mind right now. He didn’t expect to let his girlfriend meet his childhood best friend. If anything, that was at the very bottom of his thoughts list. Yet it still happened…earlier than he wanted, and when did he want it? Never at all.

Judging by her behavior, questions, and the worried look plastered on her face, you recollected the subtle memory of Jungkook revealing that Taehyung had a girlfriend of five years.

This was probably the girlfriend in front of you.

Unnoticeably to the two, you scrutinized her. You bit the inside of your cheeks. She looked familiar, probably someone famous but not in the entertainment industry. Regardless, she was drop-dead gorgeous, making you feel a bit insecure. So this was Taehyung’s type? Huh, couldn’t blame him. He was always uniquely handsome, a stunning visual.

But he was being an idiot right now by not answering his girlfriend’s question. You didn’t want her to accuse you of something. She looked approachable—kinda not really—, but your intuition says she could use her power over you.

So you decided to step in. “You must be…” Her irises diverted to you again as your brain worked its magic. “Clara, his girlfriend? Taehyung has told me so much about you.”

The idol finally resumed as he snapped back towards you with a stupefied look. The both of you knew it was a straight-up lie, but you eyed him out before laying them back on his pissed-off girlfriend and smiled. “I must say you’re very pretty and graceful in person.”

All of sudden, the tension peeled off her body when a smile formed on her. “He has?” She cooed as she stepped closer to the bed. You nodded and grinned. Fuck, you were prettier up close, an approachable and family-winning face, she thought. “Tae, aren’t you gonna introduce me to her? I mean she already knows bu—”

You giggled and Clara couldn’t help but observe your every move. Meanwhile, Taehyung rolled his eyes but guessed it was time. “So Clara, this is ___ ___. She’s my childhood best friend from Geochang.” He presented you with such precision, hiding an exciting smile. But then glanced at Clara who kept her stare at you. “___, this is Na Clara. My…girlfriend.”

“Childhood best friend?” The socialite pointed out before looking at her boyfriend. “You never told me you had a childhood best friend.”

Taehyung scratched the back of his head, not out of nervousness but you could sense a bit of irritation, but Clara doesn’t notice a thing. “Uhh, we had a falling out before I debuted. I thought it was over…But we met again a couple of weeks back when I was out with Seojoon Hyung and Wooshik Hyung.”

“Oh, so it’s been a while since you reunited with her?” Clara questioned, biting her pink-coated lips. “Why didn’t you tell me about her now, at least?”

Taehyung seemed appalled at her behavior. “Why does it—”

Oh, no. You refused to listen to this potential fight, so you butted it again. “Uhh, I’m practically irrelevant in his life now. He’s right about the childhood best friend, but it’s more was. I’m just an acquaintance. It was nice of him to visit—“

“___, you’re not irrelevant.” Taehyung gloomed, but you didn’t care as you were trying to save his ass.

“Either way, it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again.” You greeted the socialite before glaring at the idol. “I think you should go and say whatever you have to say elsewhere.” As if you conversed this with him through your mind, he got the gist that you didn’t want to see an argument happening. Yet his eyes widened for a sign of your reassurance of being alone. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Kenji texted that he’ll visit later today.” It was another white lie, but he may come knowing how much his grandparents would nag him to bring you homemade dishes. 

Taehyung’s eye twitched at the mention of Kenji. He wanted to say a thing or two but restrained himself as he wasn’t in a position to do so. So he gave in and nodded. “Be safe, okay? If you need anything, just text me.”

“Don’t worry so much, Mr. Big-Shot Idol. I’ll be fine.” You smiled comfortingly, which eased Taehyung.

“It was nice meeting you too!” Clara spoke back, waving goodbye. “Maybe we can hang out sometime.”

You didn’t know if you wanted that, but you nodded civilly. You began to question if bringing Taehyung back into your life was the right decision.

-

“I can’t believe you fucking came!” Taehyung banged the front door open, stomping inside and through the entranceway. Clara closed the door behind her and rushed behind him. She watched as he paced around the living room, not caring if he had shoes inside the house. “Barging into the room like that, have you no shame at all?”

“I do have shame! Why’d you think I waited outside until I got permission.” Clara reasoned.

“Didn’t Hyung tell you that I wasn’t hurt?”

“No, he told me that you’ve been at the hospital the whole night if you weren’t back home.” She explained. He groaned at Seojoon’s choice of words. “He didn’t say anything else because I hung up and came rushing! You had me worried sick! I thought something happened to you!”

“Well, I’m fine as you can fucking see.” The idol said sardonically.

Clara sighed, trying to be as rational as possible. “So, that girl…what even happened anyway?”

Taehyung slummed himself onto the couch and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. 

“She fainted at work because of exhaustion and stress. She tends to do that, so I had to make sure she’s fine since she has no family in Seoul.”

The socialite wrinkled her face, gathering more questions. “And she really is your childhood best friend? You’re not ch—”

“Why do you always think I’m cheating if I encounter another girl or hang out with anyone but you?” The idol retorted as he puts pressure on his temples. “I gave you no fucking reason for you to accuse me of cheating. Don’t you trust me?”

“I do! I ju—”

“You just nothing.” He interrupted. “Don’t stay shit like that if there’s no reason.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just…” She bit her lips, rubbing her bicep at his statement. “She’s really pretty, Taehyung.”

Taehyung squinted his eyes at her, incredulous to say the least. “How do you even want me to respond to that? Aren’t you like getting compliments and praise left and right? This was never an issue?”

Her face twisted then shrugged, “It’s not. I’m just saying…How long have you known her?”

Taehyung protruded his lips out, debating if he should tell her. He wasn’t necessarily against sharing things about you, but it was different with his…girlfriend. It didn’t feel right to do so, Taehyung knew deep down.

However, if he wanted you to be back in his life, this also meant showing you to others who were a part of his life after you, including Clara and his other members. He couldn’t keep you all to himself. He felt iffy about it, but he had to no matter what. “Well, if you must know, we’ve known each other for almost twenty years. But I haven’t seen her for nearly half of it. She’s known Kim Taehyung before all of this.”

Clara had something in her eyes that Taehyung couldn’t figure out. Wondering? Curious? Jealous? It was difficult to explain, but he didn’t think it was a bad sign. To save his brain all the trouble, she finally spoke. “How do you feel meeting her again?”

The idol was taken aback, not expecting her to ask that. It was weird but somewhat appreciative. “Uhh, it’s good? She kinda hates me, but she’s willing to be friends again.”

“Why would you say she hates you?”

“Like what was said earlier, we had a falling out.”

“Why?”

“Jesus, how many questions do you have?” He fussed.

“She’s literally the only person who knew you the longest other than your family. She probably knows everything about you and I’m curious.” She casually replied.

“Maybe more than she admits though…” He mumbled and she couldn’t get what he said. But before she could ask him, he went ahead and said, “We had a falling out because I was a complete dick to her and basically ignored her after moving to Seoul.”

Taehyung closed his eyes, not knowing how painful it must have been for you. You needed him, but he wasn’t there for you. The guilt oozed inside him. Though he couldn’t make it up, he hoped that he could rekindle your friendship and regain your trust in little to no time.

“So she was just a friend?” Clara brought him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, why?” Taehyung answered swiftly. She blinked at her boyfriend whilst he stared back in confusion. He gave no other indications. Strange…he told the truth but there was a faint sparkle in his eyes.

“Well, if she’s a part of your life again, then maybe we can hang out with her. Bring her to parties, don’t you think?” Clara suggested. “After all, she has no one in Seoul.”

Taehyung hated that he liked her idea. He agreed that he should bring you into some get-togethers, but not spend time with his girlfriend and best friend together. Yet it was part of his way into helping you heal your scars and open you up to trusting people again, including himself. He wanted you to get back on your feet socially, and that was something he wanted to do.

-

Weeks went by and you were still cautious of Taehyung, but you couldn’t help to admit that you missed him. You forgot how much his aura made your day. He looked weary most of the time, but his demeanor spun a 180 when he came to visit you. Sometimes he was with Jimin, Jungkook, Seojoon, and even Clara shockingly. There were moments where she’d watch your every move but nothing too intense. The girl seemed friendly and wanted to get to know you a little better, but of course, you were still traumatized from the past girls who approached you. Heck, even the others wanted to know you too.

But once he was alone, he was reassured that they meant no harm and were genuine. More or less for Clara, but she was his girlfriend after all. Despite all, Taehyung made it a routine to visit you while you were in the hospital, interrogating you if you ate or drank water which you did.

By the time, you were discharged. You glowed radiantly like a goddess and plumper in the face and cheeks, looking like the Blue he knew and loved. Though you told him not to, he always called you Blue in his head and sometimes with Jungkook and Jimin.

You still couldn’t go back to work as your boss instructed you to come back a month after leaving the hospital, which was bullshit from your perspective. But it gave you time to rest and focus on school. You were doubtful of it, but knowing you couldn’t do anything about it, you nodded. It was difficult to find a job as is, and finding a job that worked with your hours was a needle in the haystack.

But still, you were grateful for your bosses. They even closed an hour or two within their business hours to visit you. They gave you so many side dishes and stews while ranting to you about how they missed their favorite worker and how terrible Kenji was by himself.

While Kenji was there too.

More weeks passed and you were finally able to work again. You went back to working five days now. Halmeoni refused to give you any more, even insisted on doing less but you denied it and stuck with your regular shifts. With that, Taehyung also visited and ate at the restaurant. You were still his server, but this time, you actually held a conversation with him and treated him warmly. There was still distance, he could sense that kilometers away but he enjoyed every minute of it.

One night, he and Jungkook stayed back and helped clean the restaurant up. Your bosses and Kenji didn’t deny the free labor from the handsome rich idols, so you let it be. Less stress for you maybe.

Kenji left quickly for the day as he had a group project to work on, so you were left alone to close up. Once you hung your apron on the hook, you turned to Jungkook who called your name. You shouldered your bag and tilted your head. “So my birthday is coming up, and I was wondering if you would like to come.”

You scrunched your nose, and a million thoughts ran through your mind. “I-I’m invited? You really want me to come?”

Jungkook gawked blankly at you. You looked so serious and worried. He turned to his older member and Taehyung only nodded at your behavior. “O-of course, ___. I’m inviting you right now! I’d love for you to come.”

“Oh.” You said quietly. You bit your lips and fiddled with your fingers, wondering what to say. “Ummm, when and where is it?”

“It’ll be next Saturday! You don’t work weekends right?” You shook your head, making Jungkook grin in happiness. “It starts at 8 PM. It’ll be at Taehyungie Hyung’s house.”

“Why is it at his and not yours?”

Jungkook blushed hard at your thoughtless question. He felt a bit embarrassed to say it, but Taehyung chimed in. “Jungkookie’s house is not fit to invite guests. It’s not messy, just structured unusually.”

“I just have a lot of stuff…” The younger member tried defending himself, but it didn’t seem solid.

“So you think you could come ___?” Taehyung asked, hoping you say yes.

“I…I love to, but who’ll be there?” You were asking many questions because you feared it would be a full-on party to which you’d take back your acceptance.

“Don’t worry. Hyung says you’re not comfortable with big parties.” You eyed Taehyung out for exposing your shyness. “I’m also shy too, so I don’t have many friends. It’ll just be our members, some partners, maybe some of Tae’s Wooga Hyungs, my close idol friends, and my brother is coming into town. It’ll just be a grilling dinner, really. I promise. Maybe even karaoke.” Jungkook comforted your hesitancy and you appreciated him for that.

In fact, besides getting closer to Taehyung, you’ve also grown fond of Jungkook and Seojoon. Though you barely spoke to Seojoon, he was there for many occurrences but he seemed comforting. Jimin seemed too much for you that you were overwhelmed, but he meant well. Also, his eye contact scared you. Jungkook was a good ground. Maybe because he was younger and shy like you.

You nodded before smiling tenderly. A breathtaking sight in both Jungkook and Taehyung. Taehyung being that it was been a while since he has seen you smile so genuinely. Jungkook being that he may have a teeny tiny crush on you. You just looked so gentle. “I’ll be there, but I may need the address.”

“I’ll send it to you,” Taehyung announced.

“Why not me?” Jungkook pouted.

“It’s my house address.”

“Point taken.”

-

It was the following weekend and the older members were preparing the food on the table. Jungkook was busy greeting his guests, Jimin and Wooshik were having a conversation, Clara did some last-minute cleaning and Taehyung was scared shitless for you.

This was the first time he asked you to hang out beyond your work. Well, technically Jungkook asked but it still counted. This will also be the first time you actually meet almost everyone new in his life. This was new territory for you, because not only being introduced to new people, but these were also idols, artists, and influencers. He knew you were nothing like them, you probably knew too. He knew you were nervous and scared to be outside of your comfort zone. He only wished to keep you calm and relaxed the whole night through.

But for him? Taehyung didn’t really understand you. When you first met again, you ignored him. Then, you were vile and snappy. Next, you were still mean but at least you spoke to him civilly. Now you were a little bit approachable. You were hot and cold, mainly cold but he didn’t know where he stood in this. Were you even willing to be in a friendship with him? You don’t seem like you wanted it, despite the friendlier exchanges. He felt lost and didn’t know how to talk about it with you.

“Babe, you okay?” Taehyung felt arms wrapped around his waist, startling him. He looked down and spotted Clara looking curious, noticing how tense he was. “You seem frazzled.”

“Just a lot going on.” He replied. Her grip loosened as she lets go but held one of his hands.

“Are the sessions doing okay?”

His jaw hardened. Of course, she’d ask that. “Yeah, they’re great.” He answered, but sarcasm rang around it.

She hummed before grabbing a filled glass of wine from a tray. She sipped the content before saying, “Who else is Kookie inviting?” She scanned the room, getting more and more packed with familiar faces.

As if Jungkook heard, he stopped by the couple. “Where’s ___?”

“You invited her too?” Clara’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yeah, she’s my friend too.” Jungkook cheesed in pride, but it made Taehyung’s eyes twitch. “Is she coming?”

The front door opened and the three’s attention went toward who was coming in. The two youngest members thought it was you, but three men stepped in—Wooga Squad, Hyungsik, Seojoon, Sunghwan, and Namhyuk. Taehyung pierced his eyes at Namhyuk. It seemed that he finally had time to hang out after months. It was good to see, he thought, but still felt weirded out.

Clara waved at the older men and greeted them. She excused herself to hug all three of them, happy to see their attendance. Her boyfriend observed their interactions, feeling nothing, and had no comments. 

“Did she text you?” Jungkook asked, growing worried. “Did you send her the right address?”

“Chill, bro.” Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “She’ll come, she doesn’t back out. She’s probably just worried or lost. I live a little out of Seoul.”

“Doesn’t she know us though?”

“Yeah, but it’s different than showing face. She needs to be eased into these kinds of things.” Taehyung informed the younger as his eyes went towards the door. “Believe me, I know.”

Jungkook raised his brow at him. “Really? You know.” He knew you were his childhood best friend, but he acted like no shit happened between you two until recently. “Hyung, she’s not fifteen anymore. It’s different.”

But Taehyung diverted his eyes, staring seriously at his member. “Whether she’s fifteen or twenty-five, I know her. Things are different now, but there are still those same old things I know too well like the back of my hand.” The conversation ended there, but there were still some things Jungkook wanted to say. But he went against them, or else people would know about his interest in you.

But Taehyung knew by the looks of it and he didn’t like it one bit.

Taehyung’s phone rang and he instantly checked who it was—you were calling. He excused himself away from Jungkook so that he doesn’t hear your conversation. Once he was at a distance from the crowd, he answered and greeted you.

“I think I’m here?” You announced through the speakers. “These houses are too big and it took me an hour to get here.”

“Why didn’t you call me to come to get you? You would have been here sooner.”

“You’re literally hosting it at your house. I could never ask you that.” You countered. He heard shuffling in the background, most likely you were carrying something else. “It’s fine because I was running late anyway.”

“You know you can knock, right?” He gazed at the entrance, waiting for some kind of sound.

“I know, but…well, I’m gonna be honest. I’ve been here for almost thirty minutes. I even saw Seojoon and the others go in but I hid behind a car.”

“What, why?”

“I’m nervous, Taehyung.” You squeaked, breathing slowly. “People like you, they don’t like me as much.”

He hated your doubts, wanting to take them away from you. “Don’t say that, ___. You know almost half of them and they like you. The rest will like you too.”

“You think so?”

“Of course and I never lie to you.”

You respired, “Okay, but like can you get me? I feel awkward coming in by myself.”

He smiled pleasantly. “Yeah, I’ll be there. See you soon.” You ended the call and Taehyung began walking through the guests.

“Is ___ here?” Jungkook begged him once the call ended. 

“___’s coming?” Jimin’s eyes shined in glee.

“Wait, ___?” Yoongi heard your name. “Your best friend, ___?”

“Why is she coming? Did you two make up?” Hoseok wondered. “Jungkook, you know about this?”

“I invited her!” The youngest publicized. “She’s my friend now!”

Wooshik gasped, “You brought the cute waitress friend from the restaurant?”

Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh my God, before anyone else speaks, yes to all—Wait, why are you calling her cute—You know what? Never mind. She’s here actually, but don’t stare at her like some woodland creature! She’s nervous about meeting all of you so cut her some slack.” His eyes roamed his friends who stood quietly, even nodding. “I’ll go get her.” He resumed his walk out. 

“Wait, why not me?” Jungkook asked.

“She asked me to,” Taehyung muttered before opening the entrance and stepping outside.

The idol eyeballed over his driveway and front lawn, but there were still no signs of you. He walked down the porch stairs and called your name. All of sudden, a neatly curled head of hair popped up from behind a parked car. You walked around the vehicle, fully revealing yourself to him and Taehyung’s irises widened.

In addition to your hair styled softly curled, this was the first time he saw you in makeup. It was natural and enhanced, but you had a touch of red on your lips. You usually bare-faced into work, most likely because you were too tired to care. But what made him blown away was the dress you wore. A faint tangerine hue midi dress with thin straps that had floral patterns precisely spread across the fabric, the skirt of the dress flowed like a mermaid. You paired it off with some nude block heels.

Taehyung gulped at your appearance. It was so you like how he remembered, but so… mature and grown. This really was you, his best friend ever since he was young. His Blue. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you until you clear your throat.

“Stop staring, it doesn’t help my anxiousness.” You went up to him and pushed the tray of confectionery into his hands.

“S-sorry.” He apologized before looking down at what you gave him. He inspected it a little longer before he gasped in utter disbelief. “Are these…”

“Yes, they’re my butter mochi.” You finished his ask with a reply. “I didn’t have time, nor money to buy him something. I also don’t know what an idol would want besides name-brand things. I slept late last night to make them…Do you think he’ll like it?”

His eyes met your worried ones, but he couldn’t help to find endearment in your concerns. “Of course, ___. He’ll love them. Jungkook is literally a hyena with any food.”

You exhaled as you flattened your dress down, “Is this too much? This isn’t even mine. I had to borrow this from Kenji’s sister and she lent me some make—”

“___, you’re blabbering.”

“I know I told you I was nervous, but is it really showing?”

“Unfortunately, it is.” He spoke honestly, to which you groaned. “But again, you’ll be okay. With all the hype Jungkook and Jimin have been giving you, I’m sure you’ll be greatly loved.” You rolled your eyes at the thought of those two being blatantly obvious with their flirting. You also knew that Jungkook had a little crush on you. “You know Jungkook has a crush on you right?”

“Don’t even remind me. I feel bad because I don’t. I barely know the guy too.” You vocalized into the air. For some reason, your rejection of his member mitigated his worries. He knew Jungkook would be upset about it, but at least it wouldn’t be as much of a problem. 

“Let’s go inside. Everyone’s dying to meet you.” Taehyung guided you toward the entrance. He had his hand on the knob and before he twisted it, he stared at you once more and said, “You look beautiful, by the way.” He averted back to the door to open, and it was a good thing he was focused on that otherwise he would have seen the rosiness of your cheeks creeping up.

As you entered and took your shoes off, you tried your best to push negative thoughts and useless concerns out of your head. You cheered yourself on that Taehyung was right about them liking you. Once you reached the end of the entranceway, you felt many pairs of eyes on you like you were new meat. Technically, you were so you viewed them back with big doe-eyes. You gripped your hands together, playing with them to ease yourself.

“Everyone, meet ___! She’s my childhood best friend from Geochang.” Taehyung presented you to his friends who ogled at your form.

You grinned followed by a wave or two at his members and other guests you didn’t know besides the ones you saw at your work. “Hello, nice to meet you all.”

“JK, she made her famous butter mochi. It’s the best thing in the whole world.” Taehyung walked towards his youngest member and handed him the tray.

“I’ll eat these with pride and honor, ___. Thank you!” Jungkook praised and you chuckled with satisfaction. Hoseok eyed the treats out, but the youngest pushed them away from his eyes to see.

Meanwhile, the rest continued to peer in your direction. You didn’t know what to do. Though your reflex was to cling onto Taehyung like before, it would be questionable, especially with Clara’s eyes on you. They were filled with blankness, but still. So you stayed still and tapped on your appendages.

“You’re ___?” Seokjin was the first among them to ask. You nodded then came more questions. “You were the one who talked to Taehyung late at night when we were trainees?”

You laughed nervously, cringing at how you were being. “Yeah, it was a long time ago but…you remembered?”

“How could I forget losing my sleep because of that?” Yoongi added in, making some of the crowd laugh. “Always hearing damn laughter from the other side of the room.”

“You’re pretty.” Namjoon blurted out, grabbing the attention of everyone, particularly Taehyung. “Like, super attractive.”

“Isn’t she?” Wooshik cheesed. “Yah, you look healthier too. I’m so happy for you.”

“Good to see the voice that haunted our sleep,” Hoseok mentioned jokingly. “I mean it in the nicest way possible.”

“Oh, thank you.” You responded but it sounded like a question. The pink hue crept back up into your cheeks. “Uhhhhh…”

Jimin came into the conversation, “You know ___ is single—”

“Okay, we’re not getting into that,” Taehyung interjected as he went to your side. “Feel free to get to know ___, but not too much.” He focused his pupils on Namjoon, Jungkook, and Jimin. “Go easy on her. This is her first party in Seoul.”

Jimin then linked his arm around yours, surprising you as you gawked at his action. “Come, ___. Sit by me tonight.”

You were about to protest, but you were getting dragged towards the table with Jungkook and Wooshik following suit, asking you so many questions. You turned back to see Taehyung bewildered with his mouth open.

You were stolen from him.

Taehyung felt a smaller hand intertwined with his, knowing that it was his girlfriend. Clara looked at him, but he continued to look at your overwhelmed stature as Namjoon asked you about your schooling.

The socialite giggled lightly and squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Just enjoy yourself.” Taehyung hummed gingerly, knowing you’ll be okay but kept an eye on you the whole night through.

-

You would think that winning the soccer championship games in your second year of high school called for a celebration. Even Taehyung thought so, but he didn’t think it would be this vast. 

It felt like everyone and their moms were here squished up together, shoulder to shoulder in this house. Taehyung practically bulldozed over people to get to his destination and he couldn’t quite indicate where his destination was with all these invitees.

His captain and sunbae, Jungjae, hosted a “small” get-together at his house to which Taehyung got granted permission by his parents and brought you along to jubilate with him. But once you arrived, you noticed his parents weren’t around, more people than the team multiplying by the minute, older ones who brought alcohol and juice, and breaths running down your necks. 

Neither of you expected it, and to his dismay, Taehyung was ripped away from you as his teammates were greeting and introducing him to their friends and it just went downhill. He got pressured into drinking the bitter taste of soju as a team bonding. Now he maneuvered his way through the sardines of bodies, trying to figure out where you were. He scoped the area, hoping to some kind of characteristic of you. He was near the back of the house, noting the lawn with the large pool in the middle of it. Jungjae was from a well-off family, so it made sense. But no one dared to go outside, since all the fun was inside.

“Hey, Tae!” A hand rested on his shoulder. He turned and saw it was one of his teammates, Kim Minjae, who was the same year as him. “How you’ve been?” He offered a cup of an unknown alcoholic substance but Taehyung denied it.

“I’m good, it’s…this party is wild.” He had to shout his answer over the blaring sounds of the music.

“I know right? Maybe even hoping to get with someone tonight.” Minjae smirked as he gulped down his drink. Taehyung did not want to envision his teammate trying to stick his dick somewhere. He needed to find you, thinking that you’re probably very uncomfortable right now. 

“Good luck with that, I guess,” Taehyung commented, more to himself.

But it was when Minjae gasped and smacked Taehyung’s chest to grab his attention again. “Her, that one. I’m calling it.” His teammate pointed over and Taehyung followed the direction. “Pretty in the black dress.” Once he landed his eyes at Minjae’s “target,” Taehyung almost had smoke blowing out of his nose.

Through the transparent sliding door, you sat outside at the edge of the pool. At the end of your feet, there was a cup resting. You looked into the door, seeing all the “fun” happening. You were so easily turned off by what was happening in the house, you stepped outside to be alone. The crowd alarmed you, so you left it immediately and sat there in solitude.

“She’s even alone, this is perfect,” Minjae observed before chugging down the alcohol. “I’m going in.”

Before he could even do anything, Taehyung stopped him, pulling his teammate back. “No, you’re not. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Aww, did you call dibs already?”

“There’s no dibs. She’s my best friend.” Taehyung scoffed. “I’m not letting you go near her!” His voice got lower, and the protectiveness with you heightened so much more, seeing that Minjae tried to do something.

“Geez, alright, I won’t.” Minjae back offed, noting how angry Taehyung got. But despite all this, he was being a drunk idiot. “She is hot though. Did you tap th—”

“Leave before I punch you in the fucking throat!”

“Okay, bro. No need for violence.” His teammate raised his palms out as he surrendered. He eyed you out before shifting his eyes at Taehyung, then ultimately leaving before a fight broke out.

He didn’t bother to look back because Taehyung sped towards your direction, pushing people away with no remorse. He slid the door open, catching your eyes. Once you saw your best friend, your calmed face morphed into great relief with the pout you pushed out your mouth. “Blue.”

“Hyungie.” You got up from your seated position and ran into his arms to feel his embrace. “I don’t like this. I thought you said it was the team and their plus ones.”

“I thought so too.” Your best friend sighed. “But I guess Jungjae Hyung wanted to go all out for his final year.”

You sniffed his shirt, analyzing his smell. You held his chin to open his mouth before wafting his breath. “You drank.” You stared sternly.

“You too!” He didn’t want to be at fault for everything. “There’s a cup right there.”

“I was offered one but I didn’t drink it. I fled before they even noticed.”

Guilt consumed him as he couldn’t deny your allegations. “I was told to. It was for the team, but after that, I didn’t take another sip.”

“I’m not mad at you.” You giggled as you held his cheeks in your palms. “I’m just tryna give you a heads up because your parents may be up and will notice smells.”

Taehyung pondered that for a minute before a sly smirk appeared, “What if I sleep over? It is a weekend. Your grandparents are asleep, no?”

You threw your head back in laughter and shook your head, “Can’t believe you’re taking advantage of my elderly grandparents and their early bedtime.”

“Better than getting punished by my parents.” He shrugged oh so innocently before pecking your temple. “Let’s leave, Blue?”

“Mmm, yes please.” You tangled your fingers together and readied yourself. “Before we go home, let’s go to a convenience store. I want ice cream or a soda. Any liquid in the house is mixed with alcohol.”

He lifted your intertwined hands and poke his nose at your skin. “I’ll treat. A reward for putting up with this damn antic.”

“Can’t deny a hard bargain, Hyungie.” You agreed as you pointed over towards a gate. You spent much time outside, you were able to inspect the perimeter. “We can leave through there. No one will know we left.”

“I’m sure they won’t even know anything. They’re all drunk out of their minds.” He pulled you as you ran through the grass. You escaped the madhouse and made your own adventure with some strawberry juice and vanilla ice cream. 

-

Hours later, people were drunk out of their minds and dancing to Yoongi and Namjoon singing through the karaoke microphone. The birthday boy knocked out on the couch, cuddling up to Jimin while the older held a conversation with one of the guests. Hoseok was sitting in the corner, red as a tomato. Seokjin sat next to him reading webtoons. Seojoon, Hyungsik, and Wooshik sat on the floor and engaged in a nonsense conversation  Everyone was scattered around the house.

Taehyung was chilling on the other side of the couch. He didn’t bother where Clara was. The last thing she told him was that she was going to go to their bedroom upstairs since she felt drowsy, but that was over an hour ago. Other than her, he had to be a good host and make sure everyone was fine or not breaking any of the home decors.

So he stood up and walked around the house, inspecting that everything was alright. But as scoped out the areas, he realized something—you were nowhere to be seen. The last occurrence he remembered in the night was during the cutting of Jungkook’s birthday cake. The youngest tried to feed you some of his first slice. You denied it but he insisted and pulled the birthday card, so you had no reason but to.

In fact, Taehyung was never able to even spend time with you as everyone kept talking to you and Clara clung to his side at all times. Questions were asked like how long you’ve been in Seoul, how was Geochang, how you met Taehyung, where you go to school and what was your major, which Taehyung found out that it was Masters in Education through overhearing conversations. You always loved helping and educating others, especially him.

However, the main question of the night was what exactly happened between you and Taehyung. The members knew, but everyone else didn’t. Considering his friends saw you go from ignoring him to ridiculing him to having a genuine conversation, it spiked many wonders and thoughts. They were so curious since you were the person that knew Taehyung the longest, almost your entire life. You were practically a portal of history to who was Taehyung before being famous and the celebrity everyone knew and loved.

On contrary, you actually didn’t say much about it other than the “falling out,” even throwing a small fib that since Taehyung was away and have gotten busy, you grew apart as time went on. The members didn’t even argue but had confused looks. Taehyung didn’t know why you did that, especially all that he did to you. Maybe saving face, but who really knew?

Your answers were short and simple, not going in-depth with anything and definitely not with Jimin’s questions about dating and preferences. Taehyung was bothered by why his friend asked them but realized that Jimin was just curious about that realm. To be honest, he doesn’t think his member even has an interest. He just wanted to know things.

Now Taehyung’s mind dwelled on your whereabouts. You didn’t say you were leaving. Were you okay? It was barely midnight. He checked the bathrooms and they were empty, even the guest bedrooms, and still got nothing.

He went up to his members and asked, “Have you seen ___?” Jimin, Seokjin, and Hoseok looked up at him and crinkled their eyebrows in thought.

“The last time I saw her was before Jungkook was knocked out.” Jimin nudged the birthday boy who continued to be out cold.

“Maybe she went home?” Seokjin proposed with Hoseok drunkenly nodded quietly.

Taehyung shook his head, “She would have told us, especially since it’s pretty late. I wouldn’t even let her leave all by herself.”

“I’m sure she’s fine, Tae.” Jimin tried reassuring his best friend. “You’ve been worried about her the whole night through. I’m sure she had fun.”

There was so much Taehyung wanted to say, but bit back and nodded. He glanced at Yoongi and Namjoon still going strong at karaoke. “I need some water.” He announced before leaving to go to the kitchen.

He filled a glass up and chugged it down. He had a mild headache on his shoulders, still feeling worried about you. All he wanted was to know you were okay. Though this was small, it was still a party and people did pummel you with everything they got. In a way, it got too much for you.

Wait, he realized. When you were overwhelmed, you had a habit of walking away and being by—

Barking interrupted his thought process. It was Yeontan and sounded like it was coming from the backyard. On another thought, he hasn’t seen his pet the entire night so he was now concerned about two things.

The idol headed towards the back entrance and discovered the sliding door was opened a big wide, enough for his dog to stroll through. As his eyes searched for Yeontan, a gust of relief hit his face.

Not only did he find his dog bouncing and panting in joy, but Yeontan also kept you company as you sat on the patio and ate a slice of cake while talking to his dog. Your bare feet up and crossed onto the chair across “No, I can’t give you cake. There might be chemicals in here that are poison for you.” You spoke accordingly as you forked a piece into your mouth. “Not for me though. I am human and you are a dog.”

Yeontan cocked his head to the side before crawling towards your legs and jumping, whining his little heart for you. You placed the plate down on the table to grab the furry creature. “Okay, I’ll let you sit on my lap again.” The second you settled him on you, he curled up into a ball and laid down before closing his eyes. He cuddled his head into your lower stomach. “You get so cuddly. Reminds me of your father when we were younger.” You patted his fur down continuously.

Taehyung’s heart skipped at the scene. It was wholesome and sweet that he enjoyed every minute of the interaction. Also, the fact that you still knew his habit of cuddling. You looked at peace, for the first time tonight, being alone with his dog. But he hoped that he can join in like old times.

He knocked on the glass door before opening it wide enough to enter. You turned to see him close the door behind you as you grinned courteously. “I found you.” The idol greeted as he sat on the chair next to you. “Everyone said you were gone, but I didn’t believe them.”

“You’re right.” You replied as you caressed Yeontan. “Been here with your doggy for a while. He never wanted to leave me.”

“I’m surprised that he likes you. It took a while for him to like the members.” Taehyung stared at his pet as he leaned into this chair. “Clara still struggles with him. He always growls or runs away from her.”

You frowned as you glared at the animal on you. You stage whispered, “You shouldn’t do that to your mom. She cares for you, you know?”

Taehyung chuckled at your behavior. “Actually, no. He’s my pet. She doesn’t really care for him, only feeds him when I’m not around. Clara didn’t agree with me getting a dog, but I still got him.”

“Who would say no to this face?” You purred as you brought a sleeping Yeontan into your arms and kissed his head.

The idol heavily admired the view as you nuzzled your face into Yeontan’s fur. The small Pomeranian lazily licked the tip of your nose before going back to his slumber. You giggled and kept him back on your lap.

“I forgot that you just go away from everyone, yet you’re still here.” Taehyung pointed out, grabbing your attention.

“I mean I didn’t want to be rude to just leave without notifying the host.” You shrugged as you reached for your plate of dessert.

“I guess the habit never left you.”

You blew out a soft laugh from your nose. “Yeah, the habit of you always finding me never left either.”

“You had me worried.” He spoke truthfully as he bit his lips. “I know you’re not the biggest fan of these kinds of things.”

“You shouldn’t have been.” You told, trying to assure him. ”Parties before were crowded, but this was pretty tame.”

“Yet you still came outside alone with my pet.”

“It got a little too much when a drunk Jungkook was glued onto me and Namjoon asked me to sing with him. After laying birthday boy down on Jimin, everyone else was distracted so I dipped without notice.” You explained as you took some whipped buttercream into your mouth. “Everyone was nice though, and they gave me their numbers and even asked to hang out, but…”

“But…” Taehyung egged on, wanting to hear more of your opinion.

“I told them we’ll see ‘cause I really am busy with work and school, and other things.” You sighed.

“Did you have fun at least, ___?”

“Yeah, I did.” You smiled, reminiscing about tonight as you scraped what was left of the cake before popping it in between your lips. “It’s been a while since I had done something like this, so thank you for helping me out. I know you were busy and all, but—”

“No, no, I wasn’t busy. I actually wanted to hang out with you, but everyone else was in the queue to spend some time with the famous ___.”

“Please, I’m sure I’m the farthest from being famous in that room.” You snorted in disbelief. “Jungkook even introduced me to some of his idol friends, I forgot their names…Eunwoo? Yugyeom? I don’t know. There were so many names to remember.”

Taehyung smiled happily at your rambling. “Baby steps, I guess. Uhh…” He scratched his temple, trying to think of how to word this properly. “I hope this helped with, ummm, trusting people a little.” You blinked, reaching his uneasy eyes. “I’m sorry if this offends you. I just—”

“I understand.” You said. “I remembered back in the hospital that you wanted to help me trust people again.”

“Did it work?”

“Well, this is only the first meet so…” You breathed out. “Baby steps, I guess.” You repeated his saying to which he scrunched his nose in amusement and looked down at his lap. “I’m sure you’re wondering if I’m on my way to trusting you.” 

His mouth cured down when he pulled his up to see your pupils and face forward. “Is it that obvious?”

“You’ve been worried about me the entire night, you looked for me, you’re being protective of me from your drooling members, you’re asking all these questions now…and I know that’s what you want from me.”

“I—”

“I don’t like saying this now, but that’s how you were, Taehyung.” You huffed, then finally met his eye contact. “It’s fascinating that you still do that.”

“Why is it fascinating?”

“Because it’s been ten years since I last knew you.” You murmured. “I’m sure there are many differences between Taehyung before and Taehyung now.”

The idol pursed his lips at your statement. It seemed that everyone but him verbalized that things were different between you and him. That you weren’t eight anymore, that he wasn’t able to care for you as much as before, that the restoring bond wasn’t strong like when you were younger. He hated it, he didn’t want to resort to that so-called justified belief. The memories were there, that was his evidence as well as yours, but you refused to look at them as how he did.

“You say that yet, look where we are.” Taehyung implied, gazing at the perplexed expression on you. “Party inside, yet you’re outside and alone just like before. And you said it yourself, I always find you.” You didn’t respond, only letting him speak further. “It feels like the same old things between me and you.”

You processed what he was saying. He seemed bothered, the defense evident on his features. You understood what he meant, and you did see the patterns within the weeks, but you weren’t going to tell him that. There was still distance and you couldn’t figure out why or how to solve it yet. You doubted he figured it out too because he was struggling right now.

Or maybe you did know, but you feared the results and vulnerability you had to do.

“You can’t say that we’re still the same because you know damn, well that’s not true. Again, you don’t know the kind of person I’ve become in the past ten years, Taehyung.” You informed him, eyeing him out. “It’s all blank and all you know are those memories when we were younger and naive. There are differences.” You stated calmly indifferent to your heart palpitating rapidly. “Like how I think of you now.”

Taehyung felt a stubby pit in him. He didn’t like that he was aware of that fact, but it stung when you confirmed the distance. You were right, he knew nothing within those ten years and who you were. He hated himself for it. The shortness in his breathing was present but tried his best to control it without going through another episode. “W—what do you mean by that?”

“Well…” You fiddled with your fingers, gathering your thoughts into words. “You were my best friend.”

“A-and-and now?”

“I don’t know.” You responded curtly. Your tone was rude, but you didn’t know how to say it without hurting him. And the hurt was there on him with his shoulders slouching lower. “Sorry, to say it like that. But it’s my truth.”

He nodded defeatedly. “I get it. I’m the reason why it’s so hard for you to trust others.” You didn’t want to comfort him and say it wasn’t true, because that would be lying. ”And trusting the perpetrator is almost impossible.”

Now you wanted to counter. “It’s not impossible, Taehyung.”

“How can you even say that when you don’t even know how you think of me?” His glossy irises shined through the dimming light of the midnight moon. Hints of tears were not there, but he was fighting them back into place.

“Because I’m letting you back in again.” You directly expressed, but the pain was still there. Your eyes frantically searched around as you debated your next move. You hesitantly raised your arm out to him. At times, your hand flinched back but kept moving forward. He followed your movements in curiosity before he realized what you were doing.

Your fingers jungled through his ebony locks, scratching his scalp in fondness as you peered at the idol. “Taehyung like how you have your reasons, I have mine too. It’s not impossible because I forgave you too. If you want me back in your life, I want you as well. It goes both ways.” You held forth as you pushed back his bangs, revealing his shining forehead. “It’s just gonna take a while with all that happened, okay? Even with your members and friends. It’s coming together.”

“I don’t want us to be awkward though. I know you feel it too.”

“We can’t help it. We have empty years behind us, and hopefully, we’ll be able to catch up. Just don’t think too much about our past now and don’t compare. I’m not the happy-go-lucky pushover you know.”

“You were never a pushove—”

“We’re back and focus on how are now.”

“How are you even so calm? I miss my best friend and wanna hug you so tightly, but I feel like you’re gonna kick my ass if I do.” He spoke childishly, making you giggle.

His insides tingled at your lovely sound.

“You’re not wrong again.” You brought back your hand. A low whine came out of his mouth when he couldn’t feel your touch anymore.

“Of course, I’m not. I know you inside and out.” He frowned.

“Not all…” You said under your breath and were in relief that he didn’t catch it. “I’m calm because I know it will happen. Not everything happens within a night, Taehyung.”

“I also don’t like how formal you call me. I miss Hyun—”

“Don’t push it.” Clipping your voice, you clenched your jaw. You shut him up right away. “Let’s take it slow, please.”

He agreed then you yawned largely before rubbing your eyes. “You tired? I have extra roo—”

“I’ll take a cab home.” You spoke as you stood from your seat with Yeontan in your arms still sleeping. Taehyung copied your movements before you transferred his dog to him. “I need to wake up early to study anyway.”

“Are you sure? Everyone’s too drunk to move any limbs and is probably sleeping over.”

“More reasons for me to leave.” You said matter of factly. “You can take care of them. I sobered up while outside.”

“It’s late. I don’t even know where you live. What if you live far?”

“Taehyung…”

“I’m being respectively concerned.” He reasoned as he slid the back door open, letting you both inside. “I’m not letting anyone leave the house. We’re all sleeping in the living room. I prepared matching pajamas for every one of us.”

You chortled at exaggerated words, but deep down, he spoke the truth. He was an idol…he could afford it. “Seems like no won’t be an answer for you?”

“You’re not wrong.” He smirked as you both headed down the empty hallway and up the stairs. Judging by the sounds and muffled voices, the party seemed to die down as everyone grew sleepy. In a split second, all of his members were in the living room dressed in red checkered pajamas. Even the sleeping Jungkook was changed.

You trailed behind the idol. Once you were brought into the first door to the left of the second floor, you found the same pajamas his members wore. You turned to him, in a surprised but expected expression. “You deadass bought matching pajamas. How’d you know their sizes?”

“I don’t, but it’s pretty easy for men through height.” He pointed out. “But you’re one of the few ladies inside the house so it’s pretty limited.”

You grabbed the folded clothes off the neat bed, checking it out. “I’m sure this is fine then. Thanks.”

“You’re lucky with this guest bedroom. You have your own bathroom in this. When I bought this house, I didn’t even know until Jimin pointed it out.” Taehyung leaned into the doorframe, crossing his arms. “This is Jimin’s unofficial room.”

You chuckled at his same-aged member. “So I guess I’ll change and head down to the living room?”

“No, you’re staying here.”

A formed morphed on your lips. “What, why?”

“There are so many men down there. I’m not putting you out there.”

You eyed Taehyung speechlessly. Sure, it was transparent that he was protective over you, but you didn’t think to this extent. At least not now, which made you question it densely.

“You have a nice spacious room to yourself, ___. Don’t give it up to sleep on a couch or floor with some…men.” He gagged at the emphasis of the word. Did he not realize that these were his friends he talked about?

“Fine, it’s your house anyway.” You gave in as you unfolded the sleepwear.

“There’s a new toothbrush for you to use as well as some makeup remover and cleanser. Make sure you lock the door. Jimin might notice something’s up.” Taehyung provided and you hummed in response.

“Thank you again. I’m actually very tired, it’s been a long day.” You were grateful for all his doings tonight. 

“Don’t overwork yourself.” He reminded strictly, making you roll your eyes. “I’m serious, ___. I don’t want to repeat the last time.”

“I’ve been better, I swear.” You promised, sticking out your pinky toward his frame. Your gesture made him grin as he latched onto your small finger with his longer and larger one.

“Keep that promise.” He advised before parting. “If you need anything, just call me or knock on my door. I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you.” You gave your gratitude once again. “Good night, Taehyung.”

“Sweet dreams, ___.” Sweet dreams, my Blue. He wanted to say so desperately.

Once he left, you changed your clothes. You headed towards the bathroom to wash up. As you brushed your teeth, you reflected on the night. There was a slight shift in this…thing with Taehyung, and it was a good sign you hoped. At the very least, he now was aware of how genuine you wanted to be his friend again. It was only a matter of how much and how long. It really was going to take a while, but it couldn’t be helped. At least on your end. 

You still didn’t trust him, but it was gradually getting there. You and your heart knew. After all—

He was your best friend.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @thvxstf

[phxntomhives]

Welcome to my sideblog

That has most likely become my main one. But idk how to change main and second one. So yeah. So if you see @phxntomhives-98 it's still me. I just don't know why sometimes I can't switch accounts and sometimes I can.

I will try to keep this blog mostly related to Kuroshitsuji and twst but who knows what I will like next. From memes (mostly repost because I am not that funny) to theories you can find anything here.

I am not spoiler free BUT I try my best to protect the new fans and hide things under the cut. Unfortunately, I am human, so you may run into spoilers, I am truly sorry.

I am 25, she/her pronouns, INTP. I would love to get to know more people in the fandoms I am in, but eeeh my social skills are lacking. So feel free to hit my dms, I don't bite I promise. I am trying to make more moots/mutuals pls

Here most thing you can find me posting about/comments etc (under the cut because it became long ops)

Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler

Sebaciel shippers do not interact. I will just block and move on. If you see me liking one post tagged like that it's because I am stupid and I don't always read the tags, pls let me know and I will fix the problem.

Now that the important part is over: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW SEASON AAH. The Weston College arc is my favourite so I am very happy and it feels so nice to see my children here :3

I am up to date with the manga as well, so if you need to cry with someone, I am here. Sobbing.

My fave is Ciel, and Lizzie slander shall not be tolerated (half joking, you are free to dislike her but I am ready to fight at any time to defend her).

A couple of things you may want to check? If you are bored???

New manga chapter comments under: #Phxntomhives Kuro manga yapping

Analysis/theories

"The Parade of Battlers" song analysis

Finny grew up (chapter 211 spoilers)

Short analysis of the GFantasy May cover

The unlucky fate of the P4

Silly theory of the cricket's ending dance

Edgar sure is very much unlucky when it comes to life decision...

About Lizzie's anger (reblog theory)

Chapter 209 crack theory (to welcome denial)

Short analysis of Bluewer talking to Ciel during the Midnight party (from a reblog)

Short analysis of Undertaker's GFantasy cover

Headcanons

P4 headcanons

My kuro AU, kuro AU pt 2

Gregory scream headcanons (kind of angst)

Pandora Hearts

Very new to the fandom and I understood like half of it. Anyway it's beautiful and you all should read it! Come cry with me!

Here some fresh thoughts after I read the last chapter

Headcanon to hurt my soul

Vanitas no carte/The case study of Vanitas

Up to date with both anime and manga! And not so patiently waiting for each update. I miss them, I hope for a new chapter soon.

Twisted Wonderland (JP SERVER)

Up to date with main story and eons behind with the events ops. No I do not know japanese, tho I am trying to learn, but I started the game when that was the only version avaiable and I will not start again on eng server sorry. (Technically I have started but I had no more space on my phone and one had to go)

If you are curious about what I think about the story check #phxntomhives twst yapping (because I plan to type a lot and refuse to keep updating this list it's supposed to be pretty after all)

Theories

Events are canon. Part 2: wish upon a star.

Silver gets a title copium.

Tokyo Aliens

READ IT LEGALLY. FOR FREE. HERE I TELL YOU HOW.

WHY IS THERE NO FANDOM IT'S SUCH A NICE STORY. PLEASE GIVE IT A CHANCE.

I AM LIVING OF HALF A POST AND FANMADE TRANSLATION. HELP.

Parallels between Tokyo Aliens and Negai no Astro

Spoiler/Analysis from scans: chapter 41, chapter 42, chapter 43, chapter 44, chapter 45, chapter 46, chapter 47, chapter 48, chapter 49, chapter 50 (After I added these I basically took over the tags plsssss)

Dr stone

It's appearing more on my feed so I had the feeling I had to add this lol. I love it dearly, I finished the manga and I need to catch up with the anime. I am extremely worried about the rumored (?) new volume that is coming ngl

Negai no Astro

Damn, I am hooked.

Parallels between Tokyo Aliens and Negai no Astro

Aaand honestly many more, feel free to ask! If it helps, here is my not updated because it takes forever MyAnimeList! But I probably missed many of them so really, just come and ask.

I may drop some suggestions to read too sometimes, here they are

Suggestions for you <3

Why you should read Merry Marbling

If you like Negai no Astro or Tokyo Aliens PLEASE CHECK THE OTHER SERIE MENTIONED.

[organizechaoss]

Fic-Rec Friday!!!

There are sooo many good things about this fic but for me personally, what stands out is Husk’s self deprecating thoughts in Ch. 2 about his relationship with Angel (among other things that are in the spoilers section). Basically Angels been inviting everyone to watch him perform something he genuinely loves but everyone turns him down, so the first chapter is Husk trying to convince everyone in the hotel to come to the show and support Angel, then angst ensues <3

Push and Pole by mxstmxstly

Rated: M

Words: 14,272

"Someone I'm not?" Angel appeared taken aback — mildly offended, even. "Like you would know." "You've forced me to watch three of your films," Husk scoffed. "You were a cornball in all of 'em." "That's not— Husk. That's completely different." Angel invites Husk to one of his shows.

[Like always, pls consider giving ME some recommendations (if ya wanna, check this post for what I will or won’t read) but if you have any fics that are a similar vibe to this one, drop it in a comment or a reblog!]

See below for my thoughts and feelings with spoilers:

So basically, Ch. 1 is all about Husk and Angel getting together and also Angel declaring his love of dancing

Husk feels bad about brushing him off so many times and gathers the hotel gang to go watch him perform at one of his gigs

But things don’t go to plan bc off screen Val is an abusive asshole and roughs Angel up real bad and he can’t perform

So Angel is upset and embarrassed that all his friends came to watch him perform and then he disappointed them by not doing it

Oh! Also there’s pretty entertaining Cherri Husk tension as they sort of fight about ‘who cares for Angel more’ — it’s giving episode 6 stuff

Then that night Husk confesses he has feelings and Angel is like yes, yes, yes! And then boom! They’re in a relationship

THEN ch.2 is all about their relationship and (imo) realistic arguments and problems that may occur

We have Husk being self deprecating about being not good enough for Angel

Alastor is bullying Husk and feeding into these thoughts

What I remember best about this fic is when Angel puts on a show and Husk gets shadowed out of it (by Alastor) mid set and is essentially tortured

Husk won’t admit what happened and Angel is pissy that Husk won’t talk to him so they argue then ignore each other for a few days

Husk feels like shit and tries to get Angel to talk to him but Angel is being too petty

But eventually they work it out and we get just a touch of Husk having a praise kink (no actual smut happens tho) which I really liked

I hope you enjoyed this summary! Stick around #orgchaosrecs for more fic recs!!!

[sebastiansluts]

Sad thot pls forgive me

Ignore if u don’t like angst

Imagine reader having a traumatic mission maybe one of her close one dies on that mission and she’s still covered in blood holding them when the help arrived but it was all too late. Bucky was already rushing through the ER but imagine his surprised when he find out reader was looking okay. When he asked reader was all like “it’s fine I don’t wanna talk about it” and he ofc understands. Bucky was worried but he didn’t wanna push so he just let her be. He noticed reader hasn’t shower and hasn’t change clothes since after she gets patched. When the reader tries to go shower she starts to panic bcs there’s still blood in her body. She’s wiping the blood and in her pov it just won’t come off and Bucky being Bucky starts to get worry and knocks on her door but all she said was “a min” and he tries again “hey do you want help?” But she’s just starts hyperventilating and be like “I’m fine go away” however Bucky was like fuck it imma break this door. When he opens the door the reader just snaps like “I said I’m fine” and stands there without her clothes and starts crying. Then she meltdown and said “the blood won’t come off” eventho there is no blood and Bucky just shushes her and be like “let me help you” and reader is just okay. And Bucky starts to autopilot and wash her body gently while she cries. Bucky helps her with everything even the basic stuffs like putting on clothes, do her skincare, feeding her, etc cause he knows what it feels like to lose someone so he basically nurse her till she’s fine

AHAHHHAHAHA IM SAD LEMME KMS BRB

Ps. If it doesn’t make sense it’s cause I’m literally on my last braincell and autopiloting everything coz im sad ☺️🥹

~beluga🐳

Awwww babe, this is intense!!!! i love it though it's so good like i could see it happening!! he'd be so sweet be so gentle and kind and not judging at all. he'd never let you feel embarrassed about it either, and he'd take care of you forever

you okay love? i'm sorry you're sad :( i'm sending you a biggggg hug!!!! i love you!!!

[koolades-world]

hellaur, not an ask or anything but i've noticed so much new content and i just wanna say thanks for feeding us your delicious writing 😋🍽

been a follower for quite some while and the satan fics got me obsessed but then i got pulled in by the headcanons, keep writing pls, ur like my fave obm writer (specifically satan fics, can't get enough of the lilith and satan angst one that i just keep rereading and rereading it 😔🙏)

AWWW thank you 🥺

I can't believe i missed this!! I usually try to pick it out from the requests but sometimes I lose them in there

I've been trying to post daily now since I went inactive for so long and to exercise my creativity!! my whole world basically revolves around science now so I don't get much of a chance to be creative otherwise. so glad to hear you noticed!!

actually I'm def planning to make a p2 to just like lilith due to so many requests. ahhh i can't believe so many people like my silly brain blorbos 🥺🥺 I live and breathe to write satan angst, and I'm actually thinking about making a luci satan angst piece

THANK YOU SM AGAIN!!! I can't believe I'm someone fav 🥺

[redandblackpoetry]

and onto my favorite part of ur answers: eldritch ghost crumbs (⁠つ⁠✧⁠ω⁠✧⁠)⁠つ

i'm v interested in ghost's past with roach, like the entirety of their relationship? hows and whys and whens!!! but i shall keep my silence for the sake of the sequel...... but!! ghost's issues keep increasing (well i keep learning there's even more baggage than i expected) with each of my asks/comments that u answer and i am Enjoying It. like yes. make him Suffer. hurt/comfort is a very superior trope and he is my sacrificial lamb to the angst gods

so idk much abt lovecraftian eldritch monsters (i know of the lore pretty vaguely) bc i am a Fool so idk how much u based ur plot on it but basically any eldritch lore dump is appreciated either way bc of that.

also ghost crumbling at peer pressure? now i feel that. well i think u meant more like a threatening sort of pressure rather than friendly jabbing but it's a lot more funnier when u consider ghost being exposed to peer pressuring and going. uh, ok. LMAO anyway it's also a v beautiful irony that a being that feeds off of fear doesn't welcome it in the parts of his life that he is the most vulnerable in so chefs kiss for that

his true form!!!! i was already guessing this bc it's pretty much implied i feel like but!!! does this mean, when ghost got captured by zaragoza he was in his true form? what are the dimensions even? and!!!! simon saw him like that? could 141 ever get a chance to see him like that, like can he leave simon's body and then come back? (i won't accept the answer of they will but he'll have to completely leave simons body, no sir. simon is along for the ride alive or dead, whether he wants to or not) (talk abt ride or die but die is optional while ride is mandatory)

more importantly, i'm like v v v obsessed with thinking abt simon's pov on first seeing ghost and how his opinion would've changed had the situation been more normal when they first met? like... is he also inherently a monsterfucker? (that's such an iconic question out of context btw, pls acknowledge my brilliance) but like soap sees the tongue and goes. hm. would simon also. ok no my brain is overheating at this point i'll shut up.

(i'm just thinking another au of an au yet again. thanks for the brainrot. it's branching and GROWING how do i stop it????? but like i'm imagining like timeline being different and ghost being captured by the opportunistic fuck shepherd and they try to use ghost in usual military fashion and simon maybe meets him like that and. wow now that i'm getting into it this has the vibes of those merfics of mer being caltured and the scientist seeing them and slowly getting to know them and it's then an epic save-the-mer adventure but mer is an eldritch monster and the pretty scientist is actually a built like a shit brickhouse, gruff military man simon who is Ver Reluctantly starting to get fond of ghost and is not happy abt it)

(i'm dying. why is my brain doing this to me. whyyyyyy)

anyway i have yet again wrote walls of text abt this fic so. i'll wander off and touch some grass before my brain explodes. i'm just. obsessed with all this. a tad too much perhaps so this ask is now ur problem. have fun

The hows and the whys and the whens of Roach and Ghost's relationship have pretty similar answers actually, it'll make sense when I get there hopefully. And I hope that it's as good as you're imagining!

Hurt/comfort ngl is one of my favorite tropes, and I love giving characters trauma and breaking them down and mending them back together and seeing how I can mend them

And don't worry about knowing the lore, as with most fanfiction I'm taking Lovecraft and his genre's works and kinda ripping it apart for juicy bits, though I'm trying to keep the overall impressions. The feeding on different emotions/things is entirely my own idea because I honestly needed some way to nerf Ghost since Lovecraft never elaborates on how his eldritch beings function, so I gave them a food source. The whole possession aspect is actually based on one of Lovecraft's characters though I filled in my own blanks (LC loves being vague for The Horror) and Ghost's parents are also eldritch horrors that are mentioned in his and others' works. Cthulhu also exists in this fic and is actually Ghost's nephew geneology wise! Thats gonna become important in the next chapter ;)

And yesss the fact that Ghost feeds on fear doesnt make him immune to it

And yes! Ghost was in his true form when he was captured by the cartel, though since he was weak he was smaller than normal (he stretches like silly putty). I put a lot of lore and background into each chapter so I'm never sure how much readers remember/understand especially if its spread out. Size wise during the cartel he was probably at least the size of a car, normally he's maybe the size of a six story building? He's actually pretty small compared to some of his kind

And yes, Simon saw him like that and was like "neat, I'm gonna make a deal with this thing because I was the cartel to Burn" and Ghost immediately vibed with that

Would you believe that I'm toying with the idea of the 141 seeing his true form in the main fic? Its gonna be very near the end, and there's a lot of angsty implications regarding it because remember, Simon's dead. Without Ghost to keep his body, well, alive and functioning what happens to a dead body?

Absolutely iconic question and I'd very much believe that Simon is definitely a monsterfucker. He's seen so many human monsters that it imagine its somewhat of a relief and very attractive for him to see a monster not trying to hide what they are. You're also giving me very naughty threesome Ghost/Simon/Soap ideas

And friend, dear mutual, I have absolutely no clue how to fix the brainrot as its infected me as well! And again with giving me ideas!! I was soo close to starting a new 141 fic focusing on Roach for mermay you have no idea, might come to your ask box and ramble at you about it

You know Venom, yes? This idea is giving very Venom movie vibes. Because Ghost is a hardass and he'd cave eventually and end up possessing the people that Shepherd brought in as cannon fodder but he wouldn't gel with them and since he's very prideful he's end up ripping them to shreds over and over. Until Simon. Until Shepherd captured Simon and they gel and Simon and Ghost bond and the 141 come to save them. The team finds out about Ghost and they just slowly introduce him to the world and help him heal and take him on missions

Welp this has been my wall of text, hope you enjoyed! I also need to touch grass but sadly its a beautiful day and I'm stuck at work

[supermarine-silvally]

YES PLEASE FEED US THE META POST, literally tho I feel like one piece is the fandom where almost everything can be elaborated upon I too have Ideas™️ of my Mari and Kenji about their themes and what they mean to the story ahehehe

but anyway when you said rafts I pictured this

like we’re both little rodents sitting on a mound of twigs and stuff and waving our Portada flags around, aksnaksj

and interesting interesting!! Mihawk was right (gasp) to get Yara to learn haki bc if she went up against Blackbeard or Akainu without it- I’m not even going there 🫣 and this made me remember- does Yara join Marco and the others when they go to fight Blackbeard? and if she does, does she at least manage to scar the dipshit (pls I need her to do that) -🍂

not me realizing I’m spoiling sm for anyone new I’m so sorry 😭

askdjhlaksjdh I love that image sm it's so cute!!! and yes hehe i'm glad to have another lil rodent aboard my portada raft (and I will happily join you aboard the midlaw and keller rafts asdfkjhsd) I'll get around to making a meta post on the Tōka Tōka no Mi once I'm done my current drawing not gonna spoil anything but it's related to both portada and my favourite movie heheh and pls pls pls make some Mari and Kenji meta omg I wanna know all about their themes!!!

I'll put the rest of this answer below cut (spoilers ahead, ye be warned!)

So Yara at the end of Marineford basically gets separated from the other WBP because she refuses to abandon Ace's body. She's been pretty badly hurt at this point (thanks to Kizaru impaling her with his light powers a few times over, just picture Ace on the scaffold watching in horror for extra Angst yet at the same time these severe injuries she receives are what actually allow Ace to survive in my no-donut-verse if you're curious about why/how that happens heheh) and eventually loses consciousness right around the time Shanks shows up. She fully intended to die alongside Ace, but fate (her father) had other plans.

At this point, Mihawk has watched everything go down and as per canon, sees Shanks and is like "nah fuck this i'mma take my daughter and leave" so he picks up Yara's unconscious body and heads out. Yara wakes up with her wounds bandaged on Kuraigana Island and her father just chilling in a chair right next to her.

Anyways, sadly but perhaps also for the better in the end, Yara has no idea about the Payback War or whatever the hell is up with Edward Weevil (Buckin assumes Yara is dead or has otherwise been removed from the equation so she sees no need to send Weevil after her). The WBP survivors also assume she's dead or has been captured by either Blackbeard or the Marines. Marco is devastated to lose his little sister as well as Ace and Whitebeard, but part of him holds onto hope that she made it out alright and basically just declares her missing in action (he refuses to make a grave for her until her death has been confirmed).

After waking up and going through the whole "holy shit Ace and Pops really are dead" moment of horror, Yara realizes that she needs to get much, much stronger to be able to kill the two people she sees as being directly responsible for Ace's death: Akainu and Blackbeard. So she begrudgingly asks Mihawk to train her alongside Zoro.

Two years later, Yara leaves Kuraigana Island minus one arm but plus an awakened devil fruit, advanced armament and observation haki (she had basic before so she's not starting to learn haki from scratch), and some new killer swordplay techniques. She heads straight to Sphinx Island for a tearful reunion with Marco and basically just chills there until they join up with Izou and head to Wano. She learns about everything that happened to the WBP from Marco at this point.

So tl;dr she hasn't had her rematch with Blackbeard yet but he's got a whole storm coming to him in the form of Ace's very pissed off widow heheh

[victoriacoffee]

Hey, I'm Victoria!

18 || she/her || likely never leaving the dsmp fandom at this point

◇ I'm mostly here for writing memes, art, and basically anything fanfic or fanart related to c!Staged Duo

◇ Shameless c!Dream apologist and c!Staged Duo enthusiast

◇ Dms and ask box open, but no politics pls I use this app as an escape from that stuff

◇ All my art will be tagged here under #victoriacoffee's art

◇ All my art will also be posted my Cara acc

◇ I also have a fine art insta acc and a crochet insta acc and a twitter, but I don't use these as often as they are dumpster fires lol

◇ As stated in my bio, I do a lot of different kinds of art, some of which include traditional and digital drawing, painting (oil, acrylic, watercolor), mixed media, crochet, and plastic canvas but also do collage and quilling sometimes and I've tried out a lot of random things XD

◇ I also write! Here's my Ao3 (It's almost entirely c!Dream whump and angst)

◇ I actually have oc's I should be writing about as well as other fandoms I wanna write about, but my 4 year hyperfixation on Dsmp is too powerful XD

◇ Also just so you're warned in advance, I write kinda dark stuff with a lot of graphic violence-

◇ c!DreamXD once said, "Death fuels me," and that's a pretty good description of me as an author tbh. No matter what I'm writing, the blorbos always suffer

◇ I also play video games but mostly Minecraft

◇ I'm a nightowl and I live on coffee and monster

◇ Also Punz is my favorite streamer. I used to have a rant here defending him but I don't think that's necessary anymore. I don't care if you love him or if you hate him, but if you're in my feed being a dick to him, I might block you because I don't really wanna see that shit

NOTE: this blog is mostly character/lore based. Though I may occasionally post about content creators, you can safely assume all my writing/art is meant to depict characters on the dsmp and not the content creators themselves unless stated otherwise

[btssaysstudy]

My Girl || jjk

Genre: Fluff, angst, f2l, fuckboy!Jungkook, college au Warning(s): swearing, alcohol (a lot of drinking), mentions of sex (but no smut), jk being a fkboy, Summary: Starting off the semester feeling stressed, your group had a drinking session which led to your friends interrogating you on who would you consider dating. When asked about Jungkook, you immediately said no because of your personal rule “no fuckboys”. Ever since that night, Jungkook’s behaviour seemed to change slowly but surely and so do your feelings for him Note: unedited so pls ignore any mistakes :”))

You were ready to drink the night away. It had already been a stressful first week back for the new semester. When Jimin had proposed a drinking session, you were all down for it. “All” being you, Jimin. Jin and Jungkook. Jin was the first one you befriended during one of your classes as a freshman, and he knew Jimin, who knew Jungkook. 

Being friends with three good looking guys, it was natural to have had at least an eye candy on one of them. You weren’t shy about that either. You had told Jin one day that you thought he was cute and he was your eye candy. To be fair, you were slightly tipsy. You knew you tend to say things without thinking when you were tipsy. However, you were used to ‘spilling the beans’ with the three of them as you had gotten close to each and one of them. 

Including Jeon Jungkook.

A classic fuckboy. 

It wasn’t hard to wonder why he was so popular. He was basically the whole package. Good looking, talented and charming. He was easy to talk to as well. Whenever you had problems, you would turn to him for advice. Jungkook was a great listener and you really cherished him as a friend.

Friend.

That was all you saw him as. You weren’t sure whether it was because you just weren’t attracted to him or if it was because you knew that he was a fuckboy, which was something you didn’t want to meddle with. You stayed far away from fuckboys, Jungkook being one of your closest friends was already a huge exception. 

“There’s my girl.” He greeted you with the biggest grin, stepping aside to let you into his apartment.

“It’s only because I’m here with the drinks.” You joked, passing the bottles to the muscular one between you two. Jungkook laughed, “I won’t argue that. I miss soju.” The two of you made your way to the living room, and you made yourself comfortable while Jungkook kept the drinks in the fridge.

“I’m guessing the two are late?”

“What’s new,” Jungkook laughed, heading over to sit beside you as he raised his legs on the coffee table. You were sitting perpendicular to him and decided to stretch your legs, laying them over his lap for more space, “Am I your leg rest?”

“Yes, yes you are.”

Jungkook chuckled, scrolling through his phone with a smile as he seemed to be conversing with someone. “Who’s the lucky one this time?” You teased, nudging him with your foot. Jungkook smacked your leg, “Just someone from my class today.”

“You are a speedy one Jeon Jungkook.”

“Yes, yes I am.” He teased, casting a wink at you.

Jin and Jimin had arrived together half an hour later with bags of snacks and even more soju. “We have a reason this time!” Jimin immediately defended himself as they placed the bags on Jungkook’s kitchen floor. “I dragged Jin with me to buy all these since we’re all sleeping over here tonight. So we need lots of food and drinks. It’s going to be a long night.”

“We’ll let you off this time.” Jungkook replied, “yn and I already ordered dinner. It’s arriving soon.”

“Then we can start drinking!” You clasped your hands excitedly, all ready to drink the night away.

—

“Why are you so stressed already?” Jin asked as he opened another round of bottles for each of you. You all had cleared a few bottles of soju and the effects had already settled in. You groaned, placing your hands on the floor as you rested your weight on the palm of your hands. “It’s because of the freshmen orientation next week. The planning is driving me nuts.” 

“Better warn the freshies about Jungkook.” Jimin teased as he took a large gulp from his bottle. Jungkook threw the bottle cap at him. “I’m not that bad.”

“You definitely know that’s a lie.” Jin rebutted. Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, feigning innocence. 

“I’ll definitely warn them, don’t worry.” 

“While you’re at it,” Jimin wriggled his eyebrows, “Why not scout for a potential date for yourself?” From your peripheral view, you saw Jungkook look up from the floor to watch your reaction. You simply laughed, taking a few sips of soju as well before replying. “I’ll pass. I’m not into freshmen.”

“Then who exactly are you into? You have a couple of good looking friends. Time to start scouting.”

“Yea, you haven’t been on a date in such a long time. Let us be your wingman!” Jin suggested. Jimin vigorously nodded his head, “Wait!” He raised his hand to sign ‘pause’ as he quickly downed his nth bottle of soju, emptying it easily. 

“Okay!” Jimin eagerly cleared his throat as he got up to sit on his knees. You sat up straight yourself, curious as to why Jimin was so curious. “What’s your ideal type?”

You laughed as a reaction to the sudden question, feeling the curious eyes of your friends staring at you. “I don’t have a list for my ideal type. I just go with what I feel.”

Jin frowned, placing a finger to his lip as he thought, “I was your eye candy.”

You groaned, your head tilting to lean against Jungkook’s shoulder as you pretended to hide. “Stop bringing it up and feeding your ego.” You heard Jungkook’s melodious laugh as he reached out to pat your thighs as a way to comfort you. “There, there. Nothing’s going to tone down his ego. He already knows he’s good looking.”

“How about me?”

“What?” You sat back up, emptying your bottle this time. “What do you mean?”

“Is the soju already messing up your comprehension skills.” Jimin sassily remarked, “I mean would I be eye candy worthy?”

“You all are.” You shrugged, “You guys already know that, stop using this opportunity to feed your egos.”

Jimin laughed, ‘Okay, how about, would you, if ever, see yourself going out with me?”

You took time to think, staring at Jimin as you wondered if you would. “Yea I would. I would consider that.”

Jimin smiled triumphantly, “Of course you would. I’m an amazing catch. Okay, how about Hoseok?”

“Oh,” You nodded your head, “Definitely would’ve given it a shot. But he’s like a brother now.”

Jin chipped in as he started listing names from your mutual friends, to which you replied with a yes or no.

“How about Jungkook?” Jimin interrupted.

“Definitely not.” You replied almost instantly. Jungkook choked on his soju as he was drinking when you replied. Jin laughed loudly, clapping his hands as he laughed, “That was a very quick no.”

You shrugged as Jungkook looked at you, clearly offended. You smiled as you reached out to pat his shoulders, “Sorry…” You slurred your words, “I don’t do fuckboys.”

“So!” Jimin jumped in, “If he wasn’t a fuckboy, would you consider him?”

You turned back to face Jungkook, your eyes scanning him up and down as you pondered. If you weren’t that drunk, you would’ve caught on with Jungkook’s stiff posture as his facial features gave off a somewhat nervous vibe. “Yea I would.”

—

You had a major hangover the following morning. Jungkook had let you use his room to sleep. Despite being close friends, you were still the only girl after all and he insisted that you take his room so you could have more privacy to wash up and rest for the night. 

“Thanks for letting me use your room again Kook.” You greeted him in a raspy voice as you stepped out of his room wearing his shirt. Every time you guys stayed over at his place to drink, it had become almost a tradition for him to insist that you use his room and borrow his shirts. You didn’t argue much with the latter since you were lazy to bring an extra set of clothes to sleep in. 

“It’s nothing. How’s my girl feeling?” He teased, clearly aware of your pounding headache from the many drinks you had. You shot him a glare as you dragged yourself to the dining chair. Jungkook, being the gentleman he was, handed you a glass of water to hydrate.

“Feeling great. Where’s Jin and Jimin?”

“They already left.”

“What? Why’d they leave so early?” 

Jungkook only chuckled, taking his phone from his pocket to show you the time. You had slept the entire morning and lunch. It was already 3pm. “What!? Why didn’t you wake me up? Do you have plans today? I’m sorry—“ You got up from the chair, ready to pack your things to leave.

“Yn, relax.” He extended his arm out to stop you, “It’s a Saturday. I have no plans except to bum around.”

“Yea right, weekends are for your dating adventures. We all know that.” You teased as you headed to his room to get changed.

“W-Well I didn’t have any plans this weekend.” He defended himself, straightening himself up in defence.

“Alright, alright. I believe you.” 

Just as you were about to close the door, Jungkook called out to you, “You slept through lunch. Wanna head out to eat?”

“Sure! Give me time to change.”

—

Two weeks had passed since your drink night and freshmen orientation was finally over. You had bonded pretty well with the group of freshmen that you were assigned to. You enjoyed it every time they would call out your name and say hi ever since orientation week. Despite the torturous planning phase, it felt rewarding to have made the orientation experience pleasant for the freshmen.

“yn! Hi!” One of your freshmen, Yeonjun waved eagerly to you as he spotted you from afar, jogging up towards you and Jungkook.

“Oh, Yeonjun! Hi! How’s your semester so far?”

Yeonjun smiled, “It’s not bad, still pretty chill for now. By the way, the others want to meet up for drinks this Friday night, you in?”

“Sure! Just text me the details!”

He nodded his head, “No problem! I’ll see you on Friday!” He waved goodbye and headed off with a skip in his steps, clearly in a good mood that day.

Next to you, you heard Jungkook snort a laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“He’s into you.”

“No he’s not. He’s just really friendly.”

“Trust me, guys knows each other well. He’s into you.” 

You shrugged your shoulders, a small smile appearing on your face which Jungkook caught, making him frown in response. “If that’s true, I wouldn’t mind. He’s pretty cute.”

“I thought you weren’t into freshmen.”

“Well, maybe I thought wrong.”

—

There you were on a Friday night with your orientation group at the nearest bar from college, playing whatever drinking game someone would suggest. For some reason, you were more lightweight that night. It was probably because of the lack of sleep and crazy long Friday schedule. Being the oldest since they were all freshmen, you had been drinking water for a while to sober up.

“Pause! I gotta pee!” One of the girls abruptly got up to head to the toilet. Your gaze followed her to make sure no creepy stranger tried to follow after her. Glancing through the bar, your eyes landed on an all too familiar figure sitting by the bar top. His weight resting on his arm as he was chatting up with someone you didn’t recognise. You felt a sour feeling settle in as you watched Jungkook’s date flirtatious body language.

Of course they’re flirting, they’re on a date.

You scolded yourself for feeling bitter from the scene. You shook your head to get rid of these thoughts, turning back to the table as you reached out for the nearest bottle to pour yourself a shot.

“I thought you’re sticking to water?” Yeonjun questioned, you pointed your index finger upwards, signalling him to keep quiet as you took a shot, immediately filling it up for another one as you emptied the last bottle.

“You guys want more drinks?”

“Sure!” Soobin grinned. “You got it!” You clicked your tongue, standing up to head to the bar top to order more drinks. Yeonjun decided to follow you behind.

“Hey I’ll get—“

“I’ll take it from here.” Yeonjun interrupted, talking to the bartender instead. You stood beside him, waiting for the bartender to hand you more unopened bottles.

“Yn?”

You turned around, plastering a smile on your face. “Jungkook! What a coincidence!” 

Jungkook’s gaze flickered to Yeonjun before back to you, “I didn’t know your group was meeting here for drinks?”

“It’s the nearest bar.” You shrugged your shoulders as your eyes travelled to his date who seemed rather awkward for being left out from the conversation. 

“Hey, don’t be worried,” You spoke, directed at her while you reached out to pat Jungkook’s arm, “we’re just friends! He’s all yours!” You winked at her.

“Sorry, she’s had a bit too much tonight.” Yeonjun interrupted apologetically, already carrying all the bottles. “Yay!” You clasped your hands together, “More drinks!”

Jungkook opened his mouth to stop you from drinking but Yeonjun had beat him to it. “These bottles are for the rest of us. Not you.”

You pouted as you decided to leave Yeonjun behind, feeling offended that you were excluded from drinking.

Jungkook felt relieved for some odd reason when he had heard Yeonjun mention “rest of us”. For a moment, he had forgotten that you were here with a group, not on a date with Yeonjun. That thought had made his mood turn sour slightly before he remembered that he himself was on a date.

A few more hours passed but the bar was still thriving with people drinking their night away. Your group had decided to call it a night and head home.

Your group passed by the counter after paying for the drinks. Yeonjun tapped your shoulder, “yn, I’m taking the cab with Soobin since we both live pretty far from college. How are you going home?”

Pressing your lips into a thin line, you tried to wrack your intoxicated brain for a solution. “Probably just flag a cab myself.”

“Are you sure you can go home alone? Maybe someone else should follow you.” Soobin suggested but you flicked your hand, dismissing his worry. “Don’t worry, I’m good. Y’all just head home safely yourself.”

Little did you know, Jungkook had shifted to a low table near the entrance and had overheard your conversation as your group exited.

You watched everyone get into their rides first before you decided to book your own ride. However, it was 4am and no one wanted to accept your ride request and there were no available cabs passing by. 

You sighed, rubbing your arms from the slight chill of the night. “Always looking out for others first even when you’re wasted.” You heard a voice right behind you, spinning around and almost losing your balance from being intoxicated. 

“Jungkook?” You asked, blinking your eyes forcefully a couple of times to make sure you weren’t hallucinating. 

The man only smiled in amusement, “The one and only.”

“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You looked around nearby to see no one else standing outside the bar. “Where’s your date?”

“She had to go home early.”

You were too drunk to had picked up that it was rare for Jungkook to be ditched by someone else. “Why didn’t you leave with her too? Was she not up to your standard or something?” Jungkook winced at your sharp tone at the end. You didn’t mean to sound so harsh when you asked. Or maybe you did. 

“N-No. Just wasn’t feeling it tonight.”

There was a small pause as you stared at the road, hoping for a cab to magically appear so that you could crash. However, your mind kept thinking about Jungkook’s presence next to you.

“I’ll take you home. You’re really drunk.” Jungkook spoke, reaching out to hold your arm in case you were to lose balance (or puke) any moment.

“A-Actually… Can I crash your place tonight? I don’t feel like sleeping alone today.” You randomly asked, not sure why you had said that when you were completely fine being alone.

“Anything for my girl.”

Your snorted, punching his arm lightly, “Bet you say that to every girl you’re on a date with.”

“That’s not true.” He denied it almost instantly. You looked back at him, furrowing your eyebrows as you had caught how fast he reacted. He sighed, “Come on, I managed to book a ride. Let’s walk down the road a bit.”

When you reached his place, Jungkook handed you a fresh towel and shirt to get changed into. “Use my room, yea?” He patted your head, making you feel jittery thought you weren’t sure if it was just the alcohol.

Nonetheless, you were exhausted and knocked out the instant you laid in his bed.

The next morning, you were both awoken but the non-stop ringing of the doorbell.  You were adjusting to the brightness as you emerged from his room. “I’ll get it.” He said, getting up from the couch and went to see who was visiting Jungkook at 11am.

You too, made your way to the door to see Jin and Jimin smiling brightly at Jungkook and jumping on their spot. 

“Why are you guys here so early?” Jungkook asked in a raspy morning voice that you noted sounded attractive. “Because i have great news!” Jin moved Jungkook aside to invite himself in. He stopped in his tracks with Jimin bumping into him behind. 

“What are you doing here?”

Jimin’s head popped out from the side to see who was Jin referring to. A gasp escaped his lips as he panned between you and Jungkook. “Don’t tell me Jungkook actually got to yn and you guys fuc—“

“Gross, no, Jimin please, we didn’t.” You waved your hands frantically to deny his allegation. “We bumped into each other last night at the bar. I was with my orientation group. I got too drunk but luckily Kookie was still lounging around even after his date ditched him.”

Jungkook cleared his throat, running his hand through his hair to fix his morning bed hair. “Someone ditched Jungkook?” Jin asked incredulously, clearing not believing what he had just heard. 

“Yea.” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders.

“Right.” Jimin said in a peculiar tone that caught your attention. He had a funny look on his face but you couldn’t quite figure out what he was insinuating at that moment. You shook your head to dismiss the curiosity, “Anyway, what’s the great news?” You turned to look at Jin whose face instantly lit up.

“I entered a giveaway contest last week and I won a staycation! We can book after finals!”

Jungkook’s eyes widened, slapping Jin on the back to congratulate him, “That’s great man! Sounds good, I’m down for it.”

“Still didn’t explain why you guys came barging in here so early in the morning.”

Jimin laughed, walking towards you to drape his arm over your shoulder, “It’s 11am, honey. It’s not early. We wanted to find you after dragging Jungkook along, so that we can all have lunch. But since you’re here already, that’s less work for us. So freshen up and let’s get lunch.” 

“Wait I don’t have new clothes.”

“You can just borrow my shirt,” Jungkook offered, “it’s like a shirt dress on you anyway.”

“We’e just eating nearby too.” Jin reasoned.

You sighed, glancing at the mirror by the door. “But I look terrible.”

“No you look great in anything.” Jungkook replied without thinking. You had to pause for a moment, so did Jin and Jimin. “Right…” Jimin drew out the word, sounding more suspicious this time. “Anyway, he’s right. Just go freshen up so we can eat. I’m starving.”

“I’ll get you a spare toothbrush.” Jungkook headed towards his room.

“Thanks Kook.”

—

The semester went by pretty slow this time, with lots of assignments and projects. You had most of your classes with Jungkook and it felt even more tiring to have to go through seeing people trying to flirt with him. 

You didn’t know why it was bothering you so much when you already knew this happened on a normal basis. You convinced yourself it was because you never really saw it up close before since your previous semesters were mostly with Jin.

“One more time I hear a ‘see you soon hopefully’, i’m going to puke.”

“Is my girl jealous?” Jungkook playfully nudged you. That nickname had made you feel like a high school teen developing a crush on a senior. He had always called you that since you became friends. But somehow, ever since you asked him about the nickname that Friday night, it felt different.

“You wish.”

“There’s nothing to be jealous about anyway. It’s not like i’m actually planning to ask them out.”

“You’re not?”

“Yea, I haven’t really been out on dates recently.”

Your eyes widened in bewilderment, “wow.”

Jungkook laughed, turning to face you. “Wow? That’s all you have to say about it?”

“It’s just hard to believe! Is fuckboy Jungkook getting bored? Who knew this day would come.”

“I’m not getting bored. I just… Want more time to study to pull up my grades that’s all.” His confident tone drifted towards the end, looking straight ahead as you walked down the corridor to your next lecture. 

You narrowed your eyes and pointed your finger at him suspiciously, “Is that why you’ve been asking me to always study with you? Are you using me to pull your grades up?” You accused him jokingly.

He only winked, leaning closer to your ear, “you know I won’t use my girl like that.”

Damn.

There was that feeling again. 

—

“You’ve been spending lots of time with Jungkook lately.” Jin remarked as you were both shopping for your own groceries. Jimin and Jungkook had something on that afternoon so that left Jin being dragged by you to buy groceries.

“Well… Yea, we have lots of classes together.”

“Yes, that’s true. But I meant like outside of class too.”

“We have assignments and projects together too. We’re studying for the same thing. Anyway, why are you even bringing this up?”

Jin just shook his head, pushing the trolley down the aisle, “Nothing, I just find it interesting.”

“What’s interesting?’

There was a pause, as if Jin was contemplating if he should answer your question. “Jimin told me the other day that Jungkook hasn’t been doing his fuckboy duties majority of this semester except that bar night.”

A part of you had an inkling as to why Jin was bringing this up. You hated that he was beating around the bushes but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask him to get straight to it either. 

“Maybe his ego got crushed after the girl ditched early.”

You both knew that was a lie.

Jin didn’t reply immediately, tossing his favourite cereal into the trolley, “I guess so.”

—

It was midterms season and you were cramming for your test alone at the library. Jungkook had another project meeting and so you were studying alone for the day. Somehow, it felt weird to not have Jungkook by your side. Almost as if you’ve gotten so attached to the feeling of having Jungkook be with you.

Someone had pulled you out from your concentration with a tap on your shoulder.

“Do you mine if I take this seat?”

 “No, not all!” You shifted your belongings so that the stranger could have more space. The girl paused, taking a double take at you. “We’ve met before, haven’t we?”

You looked back up to face the girl, trying to recall where you had seen her face. “I’m sorry?” You were confused, as you did not recognise the girl at all.

“We met at the bar at the start of the semester. I was with Jungkook that night.”

“Oh! Right.” 

“He’s a really good friend you know.” She made a random remark while she took out her belongings to settle down.

“What?”

“That night. I’m guessing you got pretty drunk with your friends. He asked if he could leave to send you home since you were super drunk.”

“He did?”

“Yea. But I left earlier. Since it seemed like he wanted to wait for you.” She nodded her head as she recalled that night. “Oh but, please don’t think that I’m pissed at you or him, or anything like that. It was sweet, him looking out for his friend. I can tell he really cares about you.”

“R-Right well, we’re all from a super close group.”

She smiled, “That’s nice. But, my female instinct is telling me it’s more than that.” She sent you a wink, “Though, it’s not my place to say anything.”

You didn’t know how to respond, your gaze shifting to your paper as you tried to decipher what she meant. “I’m sorry. I disrupted your study session as well.”

“Oh no, it’s fine.” You shook your head and she smiled apologetically as she decided to start on her revision.  You tried to focus on your revision as well but her words kept bugging you at the back of your head. 

Jin’s words came back to you as well as you recalled the conversation you had with him.

What was going on?

—

“If we don’t get an A+ for this project. i’ll quit college.”

“We’ll get that A+. I’m confident.”

You had been staying over at Jungkook’s place every Wednesday night since you had morning class on Thursday with him and his apartment was literally opposite college. You hated traveling in the morning as you had to wake up early. You guys had decided that it was a good idea for you to stay over since you could work on your assignments together.

“Anyway, let’s call it a night. We gotta wake up early tomorrow.” 

Jungkook was about to prepare the couch for his own makeshift bed but you stopped him. “You should sleep in your own bed. I’m the guest here.”

“No, you take it.”

“No… You take it.”

“Yn please, just take it.” Jungkook repeated. You bit your lip as you felt a sudden rush of courage and adrenaline as you suggested, “Or…” you hesitated, “we can share the bed? I mean it is a queen sized bed, so there’s plenty of space.”

Jungkook’s ears turned red as he tried to maintain a nonchalant expression. “I mean if you’re okay w with that—“

“I’m fine with that, we’re friends after all. Though, only if you are.”

“Y-yea I am.”

So for that night, you both shared his queen sized bed, laying still like rocks. You were terribly aware of the situation but tried to appear chill on the outside. You had no idea why you felt so nervous when it was just Jungkook. Your friend. The fuckboy that you swore to yourself you’ll never be attracted to. 

“Night Kook.” You flipped on your side to turn away from him.

“Night yn.” 

In the middle of the night, you woke up to find yourself wrapped up in his embrace. Your heart was racing and your cheeks felt hot from the close proximity. “Jungkook…” You whispered, trying to wake him up so you could break free. His embrace only became more firm, “just for tonight, please?”

You softened from his request, his voice almost a whisper. You gave in, enjoying it just for that night, just like he said.

—

The semester was over and the four of you had just checked into Jin’s big win. It wasn’t even a hotel.  It was a huge villa with a room for each of you and you were all excited for the next three days and two nights. 

“We definitely need more drinks tonight. I’m going to order them now.” Jimin walked off to find a room to call his own for the next two nights. Your room was directly opposite Jungkook. The four of you were resting in your own rooms as you waited for the room service to deliver your dinner. 

Once dinner came, Jimin had busted out the drinks as well. You knew it was going to be a fun staycation. 

“So…” Jimin eyed Jungkook mischievously, “Jungkook, why haven’t you been on dates this semester? Is your dick not craving anything?”

“It’s just been a busy semester.” Jungkook shrugged his shoulder. You watched his mannerisms. You had known him long enough to know he was trying to hide something but you didn’t want to question him in front of everyone. You had a hunch but you weren’t sure if you wanted to confront him. A part of you was scared of the answer.

Jin glanced at you, “How’s Yeonjun, by the way?”

Your attention was pulled away and you looked at Jin, “Yeonjun? Oh, there’s nothing. I can confirm that I do not have a thing for freshmen.”

Jimin grinned, “Do you have a thing for anyone at the moment?” He extended his arm to hand you an opened bottle of soju, possibly handing you liquid courage before you responded. You took it and took a big gulp. 

“Maybe.” You winked at him.

“Really?” Jin exclaimed, “That’s new. You’ve never said you were into someone the entire college.”

“I just said maybe,” You laughed, “Calm down boys.”

Your eyes took a quick glance at Jungkook, you seemed to be rather quiet for a discussion right up his ally. You knew he would’ve chipped in to give you a good tease. But he didn’t. Instead, he remained quiet, reaching for the bottle of water instead.

“Drink a bit more and we’ll find out who.” Jimin grinned cheekily at you. 

“Not gonna happen.”

Thankfully, you were right. Nothing much happened that night besides drinking games and tons of laughter. You all called it a night and slowly made your way to your own rooms. You took a quick shower and laid in bed as you scrolled through social media, winding down for the night. 

A knock on the door startled you and you got up to see who it was.

“Jungkook?”

“Hey… Uh… Just wanted to check in on you if you were puking.” 

You laughed and opened the door wider, “I’m not puking. Do you want to come in?”

Jungkook hesitated, “I should probably get to bed.”

Feeling dejected, you stumbled over your words, “O-Oh yea, r-right.” You tried not to show that you were upset, which obviously failed as Jungkook spoke, “If you wanted to talk or something, I’m down for that too.”

“N-No, I was just asking. Good night Kook.”

“Goodnight.” He turned away but someone was gnawing at you to ask him what you were curious about. 

“W-Wait Jungkook.”

“Yea?” He turned around to look at you.

“You didn’t stop dating this semester because of what I said at the start, did you?”

Jungkook froze, his eyes immediately darting to your door instead, somehow entrance by the inanimate object. “N-No, of course not.”

You nodded your head, his response answering your suspicions. With alcohol still in your system, you replied, “Mm… That’s a shame.” You watched his facial expression morph into confusion and semi-realisation as you closed the door. 

—

The next morning, you got up to see Jin making breakfast. Jimin and Jungkook weren’t out so you assumed they were still asleep. “Morning, Jin.” You walked over to help him out with breakfast.

“Morning, yn.” Jin smiled at you but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

He sighed and placed the spatula on the table. “I’m just gonna say it.” He took a deep breath and said, “Please just make a move on Jungkook. You guys clearly have a thing for each other. You two became close this semester and everyone else can see it. Jungkook’s clearly too pussy to make a move. Jimin and I are dying from this sexual tension. Please help yourselves.”

You took a moment to internalise his quick monologue before letting out a short chuckle. “I already gave him a hint last night actually.”

“You did?” He leaned closer, interested to know more about the ‘tea’. You smiled, winking at him, “Yep. I’m just going to see if he’s still pussy to do anything about it.”

He scoffed, “If that boy is still pussy after your hint, he doesn’t deserve to be a fuckboy in the first place.”

“Cut him some slack.” Jimin’s voice sounded behind you, his hair damp from his shower. “We all know it’s the first time he actually likes someone for real this time. He’s been in denial about it for so long. I’m glad something is finally happening.”

“Okay, okay, let’s stop gossiping about Jungkook as if he’s not here.”

The rest of the day went by quickly, the four of you exploring town and doing some retail therapy. It wasn’t long until it was your second and last night at the villa. You had a few bottles left from the previous night and you were all ready to finish them so you could go home with a light baggage.

Jin suggested to watch a movie for that night, you sat beside Jungkook throughout the movie. “Look at Jimin.” He whispered to you. You peeped over his shoulder to see Jimin passed out on the couch. The credits had rolled in and Jin suggested to just let Jimin be.

The three of you got up and headed to your own rooms to call it a night. Just as you were going to enter yours, Jungkook stopped you, “yn, can we talk?”

“Sure.”

Jungkook entered your room and you both sat at the edge of your bed, you turned to face him to wait for him to being speaking.

“Last night, what you said… Did you mean it?”

“Depends.”

“Depends?” He questioned.

“Did you decide to call off your fuckboy phase temporarily just so you could be my type for now and then go back to your own ways later on?”

Jungkook shook his head, “N-No, no. It’s definitely not because of that.”

“Then why’d you suddenly change this semester. It can’t be a coincidence especially after our drinking session at the start of the term.”

He sighed, “I know. I know it looks suspicious. I didn’t change because it seemed like a challenge or something temporarily. I already had a thing for you the previous semester.” He admitted, and your eyes widened in disbelief. 

“You did?”

He nodded his head, looking at his hands as he started fidgeting with his fingers.

“I didn’t do anything because I figured, we’re all friends and you won’t see me that way. But then you said it was because I was a fuckboy and I just wanted to change. I thought maybe things could be different if I changed.”

You didn’t say a word as you didn’t know exactly what to say. Jungkook took this opportunity to continue. “I started to like you even more this semester. Especially since we spent so much time together with lectures and projects. Even if you do reject me, that doesn’t mean that I’ll go back to my old ways. That phase is truly over.”

You just looked at him, a small smile tugging on your lips. Internally, you were practically squealing with your heartbeat racing rapidly. With a nervous chuckle, he asked, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“I meant it. What I said last night.” 

Jungkook broke into a smile, “I’d love to kiss you right now.”

“Why don’t you?”

Jungkook reached out his hand to cup your face as you both leaned in, feeling his soft lips on yours was something you never thought would have happened. You felt him apply more pressure as he pulled you in closer. 

“Sleep with me today.” You said breathily as you pulled away.

“Anything for my girl.”

—

“You know, you owe me extra for not only letting you experience a free staycation but also basically helping you start your relationship.” Jin smugly remarked as you checked out from the villa.

“Don’t worry, Jungkook will treat you to good food.”

“Me?!” 

You grinned, “Yes, you.” He sighed, “Can’t say no to my girl, can I?” He pulled you in closely, planting a kiss on your forehead. Jimin groaned, playfully shoving him. “Barely a night as a couple and you’re already a big softie. Never thought I’d miss the fuckboy phase so much.”

Jungkook let out a laugh, “Sorry, that phase is gone for good.” His gaze shifted to you, to which you returned with a smile. “Just the way I like it.”

[enhyupn]

always you!

pairing: park sunghoon x gn!reader (ft jay too)

disclaimer: reader is incredibly insecure... i didn’t realise how insecure they were until i finished writing this pls

word count: 2.9k+

genre: angst and a dash of fluff... the fluff was a little treat, childhood friends to lovers!au based on heroine disqualified

a/n this was a wild ride to write omg i don’t usually write angst so i can’t tell if i displayed their emotions as well as i wanted but oh well it was fun to write 💭

was it worth it? was it a matter of luck or chance? was this worth risking everything? you believed park sunghoon was everything, he built you into the person you were today. his confidence, the way he would always take care of you, you weren’t ready to let go of any of that plus a stupid confession? you weren’t letting that be the cause sunghoon drifts away.

the way he ties your laces, the way he ruffles your hair when you feel down — how could you not fall in love with him? everyone around you believes that too.

maybe the happy smile on his face should of made you smile too. happy tears streaming down his face with a smile so big, you desperately wished that you were the one that made him smile like that. in the corner of your eye stood kim minju, holding a bouquet of flowers, the purple lilacs you helped him pick. the beginning of love, that’s what the flowers mean, sunghoon wanted the flowers to mean something.

“congratulations sunghoon” you staged a fake smile on your face. sunghoon caught off guard by your sudden voice flinched before turning to you with a bright smile on his face. “the first out of us two to start dating”.

“i beat you to it” he smirked, “can you believe she said yes”. you chuckled lightly at his enthusiasm, knowing if you said another word you might just tear up.

“i have to get to class” you spoke as quietly as you could, your head slightly tilting down so he couldn’t get the look of pure misery on your face. “see you?”.

“see you y/n” the corner of his eyes crinkled. you watched as he turned around before making his way to his new girlfriend. anybody could see they were a match made for each other, top students in both of their classes as well as part time models? why would sunghoon look your way when someone like kim minju is right in front of him.

even as months went on, you never really... recovered from the whole minju and sunghoon thing. frankly, with them basically being everywhere you go, you couldn’t even get a chance to get over sunghoon. little things started changing too. every time you asked to walk home he’d tell you he’s walking home with minju, meaning you had to watch them from the other side of the street while they giggle and hold hands every evening five times a week. he won’t even help you with your homework anymore, he won’t even come over when you spontaneously cook a meal that feeds two people. he’s accidentally missed so many calls from you and has left you on delivered so many times you can’t even count the amount on your fingers.

the realisation hit you fast, you depended on sunghoon for so long that he was the only thing that mattered to you. guilt ate you up for being upset with sunghoon, knowing that it was selfish to ask for all his time when he had his girlfriend right by his side. maybe, just maybe, this was the time to get someone by your side that wasn’t park sunghoon.

as time went on you realised, it wasn’t as easy as you thought. the image of sunghoon left your standards high and the selection right in front of you never met those standards. well, until you met park jongseong or jay. he was friendly, funny and never cared when you were upset over something silly like seeing sunghoon with minju at the café you told him about. jay filled in the space sunghoon once filled in, but something felt off. you never wanted to admit that jay was a sunghoon replacement, jay was jay and sunghoon was sunghoon. although, when you look at sunghoon, all you think about is sunghoon but when you look at jay, guilt eats you alive because all you can see is sunghoon.

“y/n i like you” the light breeze, green reappearing on the bare trees, everything looked perfect so why didn’t you think it was perfect? jay looked into your eyes desperately, trying so hard to look for an answer that you yourself didn’t even know. “i know, i know you still think about that sunghoon guy, but i— i don’t care y/n”.

“jay...” you looked everywhere but his eyes, you felt so many emotions that you couldn’t pinpoint a single one. you knew that it was selfish of you to even consider his feelings, you couldn’t give him an answer when he was standing right there. you so desperately wished to get away, not so sure if the mention of his name was the thing that set off all the emotions in your heart. “i— i should go...”.

“please” jay gripped onto your wrist lightly, the desperation in his voice and face confused you so much that you couldn’t even think straight. why you? jay was always there for you and he deserved someone better than you, someone that would be able to properly reciprocate those feelings same he had for you. 

“i’ll talk to you later jay... i’m sorry” the grip on your wrist loosened before completely coming off. the scene looked almost painful. there stood jay, his face completely blank and there you were, tears running down your face as you tried to grab a hold of your emotions. each step you made brought another tear down, you don’t know why you were so upset. was it guilt? the feeling was so overbearing that you couldn’t even answer jay.

you don’t know where your feet took you, but all you knew is how you had no idea why you were faced with sunghoon’s home. the black doorframe almost begging you to come closer, is this right? the doorbell almost sent you into tears again, the nostalgic sound adding to your emotional state. the silence following the sound maybe even snapped you back into reality, what are you doing here?

“y/n?” the voice was clearly not sunghoon, a smooth feminine voice only belonging to kim minju greeted you. just to make the night better his girlfriend opened the door and saw your puffy eyes and red nose.

“minju” you quickly wiped tears away from your cheeks, nothing could help however as new tears quickly formed before dropping down your face “i don’t know why i’m here i should—”.

“y/n?” a familiar voice sent chills down the back of your neck. he quickly made his way to you, a concerned expression that made you want to cry harder. “what happened? are you okay?”. you wished you could ignore the concern in his face, you didn’t want him to care.

“i’m fine, tell your mom i said hi and i’ll get going” the shakiness through your words failing to hide the immense despair you had in your voice.

“no you’re not!” sunghoon raised his voice, a habit he had when he was annoyed. “you’re shaking y/n... what happened?”. the boy didn’t know how his hands found his way to your shoulders, gripping them lightly to reassure you that he was there.

“sunghoon stop, i’m fine” you shook off his grip before stepping back to give yourself some space. “i’ll be going now”. the whole situation being only a mere five minutes long, the fact it felt longer than that made you uneasy.

the silence in the air was deafening, the sound of the crunching grass you were making as you walked home was the only thing breaking it up. sunghoon stood in shock as he watched your shaking body make each step. minju, who was watching the whole scene unfold in silence, didn’t know what to say. she’s never seen sunghoon so concerned, so emotional and so angry. what are you to him?

the following days were peaceful, it was a silent agreement for you and jay to act like none of that happened, the happy faces on both your faces as you eat cake together proved it. it was easy settling back in to your normal, everyday relationship. maybe even too easy. you wished that every day could feel as simple as that day, the normality of everything felt so easy.

“you should tell him” good way to hit the mark jay. suddenly this normality thing was crushing down. maybe it was too good to be true? it was bound to happen anyways.

“excuse me?” you questioned jay. you felt yourself grow hot at his sudden comment.

“tell sunghoon you’re in love with him”. one of jay’s traits you loved most was his straight forwardness, but honestly speaking maybe this was one of the times you didn’t love it.

“it’s like you want me to cry in the middle of this café” you joked as you took another bite of your cake.

“y/n i hate seeing you like this” jay looked into your eyes seriously, “why are you letting this happen right in front of you? why are you letting this eat you up?”. you could see the emotions he was bottling up, you could tell he’s been wanting to say this for a while. it just so happened that he let it all out in a little café while you ate cake.

“jay—”

“i should get going” jay said standing from his seat. you understood his feelings, obviously he was frustrated and annoyed with you. you felt the same about yourself. “i’ll call you later?”.

“where are you going—”

“see you y/n”

everything about this made you feel terrible, you’ve lost sunghoon and now maybe jay? why why why couldn’t you just forget about sunghoon? an amazing perfect guy likes you so much that he’s willing to date you even when you constantly think of someone that isn’t him. what was so special about sunghoon? every time you’re almost begging yourself to let him go, he always seems to show up right before your eyes.

the walk home was awkward, even when it was just you all alone. you couldn’t stop thinking about everything, when did this get so complicated? it all started with a one sided crush on your best friend, maybe that’s all it should of been. everything was falling apart and you so desperately wished someone could fix it all. your head felt so light that you couldn’t even think straight anymore. you sat down on the old, almost falling apart bench in the middle of the park. it faced a small pond, filled with lilly pads and a duck with its ducklings following them closely behind.

“hey y/n” you suddenly faced a hand holding a bottle of water. you looked up, your eyes widening realising it was minju.

“minju?” you moved over to make some room for her to sit in.

“hi” she weakly smiled. you knew in the way she fiddled with her fingers that she had something to tell you. “it’s weird how i just met you here, i wanted to talk to you but i realised i didn’t know anything about you. it’s kinda like we were fated to meet here”.

“yeah...” you looked down at your lap. awkward silence filled the air, both of you not knowing what to say.

“sunghoon and i broke up” minju broke the silence, you abruptly turned your head towards her in surprise. you noticed her nose was red and she was chewing on her bottom lip to stop her sudden tearing up. it didn’t work though, tears were streaming from her face at a fast pace. “we fought that night you visited his house, i realised something i never noticed before”.

“what do you mean—”

“he looks at you differently” minju continued, “he looked at you like you were the whole world. when his world looked like it was about to crumble he stopped everything to make sure it didn’t. after you left, he went back inside to grab his jacket because he knew for sure that if he ran to you he’d catch up”.

the tears in her eyes started to slow down but the shakiness in her voice told you that it was hard for her to tell you this.

“i stopped him, obviously. i was his girlfriend, i didn’t want him to leave me for someone else. but when i did, he was so mad at me” she chuckled sadly. “and i’ve never seen him so mad, it made me jealous. we fought and fought that night, by the end of it i couldn’t take it. i knew if i let this go on any longer it’d just break us. it wouldn’t be fair on both of us”.

“minju... i’m so sorry” you said quietly. tears welled up in your eyes, you felt the pain in her voice and expression.

“he’s in love with you y/n...” she smiled sadly at her words. “i noticed almost immediately when he saw you in tears right outside his door, and i think when i left his house he realised it too. i think he’s scared, i think he thinks he’s lost you. it’s not your fault, or his. maybe it’s mine actually”.

“it’s not your fault minju, don’t think that”.

“no, i should of known” she wiped her tears away. “he was always talking about you, mentioning little things you two did and would always tell me what flavours or things you liked”.

“he did?”

“yup, would never stop talking about you...” minju finished her conversation, her tone of voice still sounding sad. still, she found a way to cheerily smile at you. “you should tell him”.

“i can’t” you frown, “it’s too late”. you play with the bottle of water in your hands. you knew it wasn’t too late, you were just scared and being a coward. you know if you faced sunghoon at that moment, no words would come out. nevertheless, you wanted to see him, you desperately wanted to see him.

“y/n” minju held your hands, “please go to him, for his sake at least”. she looked at you with shiny eyes, hope in her eyes that you would listen to her.

“i’ll go, thank you minju. i’m so sorry for everything that’s happened too” you reassured her. you stood up from the bench, holding out the water bottle to her. the water bottle she gave you was all you could give back to her.

“this for me?” minju laughed weakly.

“yeah” you rubbed the back of your neck, “i felt like you needed it”.

“thanks y/n” she smiled sincerely. you felt yourself feel warm looking at her, forever grateful for her words.

you felt your feet pick up pace, trying to find their way to sunghoon’s house. you felt your heart burn at the sudden amount of exercise you put yourself through. you felt the wind flow through your hair, the pebbles at your feet almost making you trip. you didn’t care though, all you wished was to desperately get to sunghoon as quickly as you possibly could. you were completely wrong at the start, this was worth risking everything for.

“y/n what are you doing here— ” sunghoon stood outside his house as you made a stop from your constant running, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants he stared at you confused yet concerned. here you were, running towards him with hope in your eyes. he felt his heartbeat faster than anything else.

you didn’t know what happened, everything looked blank and all of a sudden you were in his arms. your arms wrapped around waist with your head against his chest, you couldn’t look in his eyes no matter how many times you told yourself.

“i know i’m stupid and incredibly dependent on you, i know i shouldn’t have ran all the way here because whenever i do i always end up passing out”.

“y/n what’s going on” you felt the vibrations of his voice through his chest. the comfort and the feeling of home engulfed you in so many ways.

“i love you” you pushed him back to finally look in his eyes. you watched as he stood shocked, his eyes widened hearing your words. “park sunghoon i’ve been in love with you for as long as i can remember”.

“you’re telling the truth right?” his shocked expression not falling as he spoke. “you’re in love with me?”.

“i am” you grinned, “i know i don’t have any flowers to give you or anything but—’.

your words were put at a stop due to the fact his lips were on yours. your widened eyes fluttered shut as you returned the kiss back. maybe the books were right, everything felt so cliché. the fireworks went off in your head, it just felt so right. nothing at all could stop the butterflies in your stomach and your reddening cheeks and ears.

“i love you” sunghoon whispered as he held onto your cheek. “i only figured it out recently but better late than never right?”.

“right” you let out a chuckle. you missed this feeling so much, the feeling sunghoon gave you. the feeling of home, comfort and everything imaginable. you felt like you could burst from all the emotions you were feeling.

he brought his forehead to yours, smiling at your blushing state. both of you couldn’t contain the giddiness you felt, you felt like the whole world could go into flames at that moment and you could care less.

all you cared about right at that moment was sunghoon.

[voidsteffy]

The fandom is freaking out because after all the dream fakeout teases, Nace finally kissed… but it also happened inside a fakeout alternate reality. Why do you think this happened? This is like showing the wedding dress before the wedding happens, which means the wedding will be called off for sure because you don’t spoil the dress. Nace was just spoiled and I feel sick.

(read the whole thing pls)

Why do I think it happened?

Let me give you a situation:

I have a pair of actors with amazing chemistry and majority of the fans want their characters together. In the process of establishing their slow burn, you realize that either of the characters are too proud/insecure to admit, and you need to test their untold but known feelings.

Le temporary girlfriend with an asshole bro.

Le Wraith.

Le Nark.

Le vindictive witch aunt.

Le split soul possession.

I, one of the awesome writers, had put Nace through A LOT in season 3 (and by that I mean blatantly pummeled my baby boi Ace to the ground). Then I get news that I have to put a hitch/hook to my star money-making ship by the 13th episode.

And what better way to emotionally weaken/scare one part of the ship and propel their entire dynamic AND basically feed my audience without actually feeding them all in one fell swoop?

What better way to give them some material and show them that the chase isn't over?

I show them that the happy ending was pseudo. I show them that it's a possibility, something that you can catch more of and in extension, if you stay with me.

It's my job and I think I have done it well. For a part, I have.

Only, I may not have realized that the ship that I created unconsciously is sensitive for my fans because they were of the fair assumption that this particular slowburn will have a happy ending.

No chase after that.

Just enjoying fruits of labor and shipping.

So, you were all caught unawares. You were of the mindset and EMOTION that if Nace happens, it will be one big happy ending to the pining. You finally get to step into the domestic bliss section of cannon.

Give a hungry child a chocolate. They try to bite through the surface and find that the chocolate only runs as deep as a coating on a rock that says "haha you thought you'd gotten the chocolate? you gotta wait for the real one".

Did you taste the chocolate? Yes.

Did you get the whole chocolate? No.

Did I promise to give you a chocolate next season? Absolutely.

Is waiting going to be hell? You betcha.

Now, I get that the dreamscape twist would have made some of us crazy and cheated. Fair enough.

But since I'm virtually incapable of seeing the Nace ship as a whole at the moment, I'm willing to look at the individual parts. Nancy and Ace have a bumpy ride in front of them: Nancy can't be with the one person she loves and Ace can't watch Nancy push herself away from him in fear (fear of what he thinks is their supernaturally unrelated uncursed future).

Let the angst pour from every pore of their skin and that shall make up for the chocolate coating we were told to make do with till renewal.

You're all entitled to your opinion - be it hate, sadness, AGONY, hopeful, annoyed... But please try and cut some slack for the artists - both of the dramatic and literary factions - for this season. They weren't working with the most ideal of regulations yet they tried to deliver the emotions.