#basically this is lowkey me doing an advertisement

[masquerites]

[ ... ] THE TRAGIC & TERRIBLE TWINS : KIM HAECHAN & KIM HAE-IN ⸻ I WAS BORN KNOWING YOU. ( @oblivioure )

ㅤㅤi. poem without a hero & selected poems / anna akhmotva.ㅤㅤii. moony moonless sky's 'we were put on this earth desperate hungry and willing' / fatima aarmer bilal.ㅤㅤiii. hevel / nathaniel orion.ㅤㅤiv. "a brother named gethsemane" in when my brother was an aztec / natalie diaz. ㅤㅤv. mabel: matryoshka / becca de la rosa & mabel martin. ㅤㅤvi. a crash course in molotov cocktails / halyna kruk. ㅤㅤvii. norwegian wood / haruki murakami. ㅤㅤix. lisa see.

[juuuulez]

📰 | carmen berzatto x reader ; “Proximity.”

info: Carmen Berzatto x Reader, no pronouns (but written with fem! in mind), NYC era, tired Carmy, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs (cocaine/weed), you’re Carmen’s roommate.

summary: Carmen is your roommate: who happens to have terrible sleeping habits.

we rot, thinkin' lots about nothing / yeah, i could spend a lifetime / sitting here talkin' — comfort crowd, conan gray.

i don't feel like nothing special / i snag my tights out on the lawn chair / guess i’m a mess and play the role — i might say something stupid, charli xcx.

okay so BASICALLY this is kid krow boyfriend x brat girlfriend. expect three parts to this cute lil series my slayers. i’m insatiable and music makes me write.

“Jesus, what’ve I said about sleepin’ on the couch?”

Your voice is a shrill whine in the small apartment. The space itself is dingy, a two-bedroom joint in New York City. Mess forms on just about every surface, namely the coffee table, stacked high with a combination of culinary books, trays of pencils, and dirtied ashtrays.

Heels clack as you clamber into the living room, dropping down to your knees aside the couch. Carmy is dead to the world, passed out with his face pressed into the cushion, hair all tangled and wild.

You grab onto his shoulder, trying to push him upright with an exasperated groan. It doesn’t work. Finally, you use sharp, manicured nails to tug at his ear, a sharp pinch that finally awakens your roommate.

“Fuck.” Carmen grumbles, only pushing his face deeper into the pillow to evade any further scolding.

“Get off the couch, asshole.” You continue to berate him, “You pay for a room, so go sleep in it.”

Living in New York was expensive. So, you advertised for taking in a roommate. Someone lowkey who would stay out of your business, keep their shit to themselves, and best case scenario, help cook every now and then.

Carmen Berzatto seemed like the jackpot.

Except he was run absolutely ragged. Sure, the restaurant he worked at was classy, whatever. You didn’t care enough to indulge in the details. But the man would work for hours on end, and pass out on the first surface he could find.

Which brought you back to the problem at hand.

“I’m serious.” You continue, “I wanna watch Grey’s Anatomy before bed and have my joint. It’s my nightly ritual, you gotta fuckin’ move.”

At this point you were leaning your full weight against him, pushing Carmen deeper into the cushion. He groaned and finally rolled over, prompting you to let go, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

“Y’can’t watch it in y’er room?” He asks.

You huff, sitting on the hardwood floor in defeat. “No. There’s no TV in there, and my phone is dead.”

Carmen finally clears his foggy vision, blinking tiredly as he inspects your form, slumped on the ground beside him. A tight little black top clings to you, along with a matching pencil skirt.

“Did y’go out?” He asks, gaining some sense of awareness. The pair of you didn’t discuss personal stuff, most of the time Carmen had no idea what you were up to.

He was an early riser, you weren’t. Carmen would get home after a long shift and pass out, while you still roamed the streets late into the night. In a way, it was nice, as the pair of you wouldn’t often clash or argue for you simply weren’t in each other’s way.

Except for now, of course.

“Yes.” You huff, “And now it’s late and ‘m tired and have a headache. All I wanna do is watch Grey’s Anatomy and pass out on my,” You punctuate the word by stealing the throw pillow from him. “couch.”

There’s nowhere to argue. Technically, it was your couch. It was your apartment. Carmen knew he should be grateful, given that he simply had to pay a portion of rent, yet wasn’t responsible for the financial burden of all the furniture you’d collected beforehand.

Instead of just moving, Carmen finds himself wondering about your night. The headache. “How much did y’drink?” He asks.

You catch on, standing with an irritated groan. The throw pillow is tossed back down, to which Carmen grips it and pulls it to his chest. He wants to fall back asleep so badly. But now you’re causing a commotion, leaning against the wall and prying each heel off with huffs of frustration, throwing them somewhere down the hallway.

“It’s not the alcohol, it’s Katie’s bum-ass coke.” You complain loudly. “She gets it for free ‘cus she’s fucking this guy, but it’s just not good. Like, I can feel my brain cells evaporating and screaming like it’s a fiery wreck up there.”

Carmen hums, fiending understanding. Of course. It’s definitely not one of his favourite things about you. But, it’s not really his place to step in, to point out all the terrible choices you make. Sometimes he finds himself tempted to, but has to remember that would make things weird.

You didn’t want his baggage. Fuck, Carmen certainly didn’t want yours. It was a box that shouldn’t be opened, a line that won’t be crossed.

“Y’ever think about.. just not doing it?” Carmen ends up saying, his voice quiet and tentative, unable to help himself but prod the tiniest bit.

Thankfully, you brush it off, dumping a shiny pile of jewellery onto the coffee table to join the existing mess. “Yeah, right. Then I’ll get massive FOMO and it’ll kill the entire vibe. Great advice. Now scooch.”

Carmen has no choice but to shift as your stocking-clad foot nudges his thigh. There’s a hole in it, around your ankle, and he absentmindedly wonders how that happened. Regardless, he sits further up on the couch, making room for you to ungracefully slump beside him. It’s a close proximity, but one he’s slowly gotten adjusted to, finding that you’re the kind of person who simply doesn’t care about all these little touches.

The ones that make Carmen all flustered and nervous, the ones he’ll overthink whenever his mind isn’t so loud.

You lay on your side, legs curled up in the space that isn’t occupied by Carmen’s thighs. It looks like you’re ready to sleep in this position, and Carmen resists making a comment about how hypocritical that would be.

There’s a beat of silence before he finds himself speaking again.

“What’s the time, anyway?” Carmen asks.

You give a little shrug, the motion halfhearted and yet full of effort. “Like, three. Wanted to leave earlier, but it was this whole big thing.”

Carmy doesn’t bother indulging, instead giving a short hum as he thinks about it. All this time, and yet he’s never met any of your friends. You don’t bring them over, mostly because you’re barely home at night. He wonders if they’re like you.

“Shoes.” You suddenly pipe up again, a foot once again nudging him. “Y’were sleepin’ in them.”

He looks down, noticing the fact that his sneakers are still on. It makes his brows furrow, brain still all hazy from sleep, resisting the urge to melt back into the couch and continue his nap.

“Wasn’t thinking.” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his eyes once more. They sting slightly with the light you’ve turned on down the hall, the one neither of you will get up to switch off.

With the last of his willpower, Carmen toes off his shoes, letting them land somewhere underneath the coffee table. One of your heels lingers nearby, too.

“Clearly.” You mumble, “Your bedroom is three steps away, and you’re sleeping here. Weirdo.”

It’s not exactly venomous, and if Carmen was any other person he’d probably smile. Laugh a little. But he’s not. The pair of you are so different to the point where Carmen struggles to understand you, and to combat this issue, he’s reduced your role in his life to that of a stranger: a passing face on his eventual journey for something bigger.

“What about that joint?” He reminds you, deciding to ignore the slight snipe.

It earns another groan, drawn-out and dramatic as you press your cheek into the armrest. “No way ‘m getting up now.”

There’s a beat of silence as Carmen shifts, leaning over the couch to the floor. He finds his abandoned pile of belongings, the stuff he’d dropped after work seconds before passing out. A carton of cigarettes find his hand, tugging one out to place it between his lips.

He flicks the lighter, inhales, lets it spark to life. Then, Carmen takes it back out, passing it down and holding it in front of your face. Even with your eyes closed, you knew that noise, and didn’t need any direction to lean forward and snatch it between your teeth.

The sound you make is a pleased one, inhaling deep and letting it out. It manages to quell your headache slightly, to lessen that irritability that always grows after a night out like this, where the coming day you’ll be snappy and tired and miserable.

You ask for Alexa to play Grey’s Anatomy, the Google TV opening to the episode you were last on.

Carmen smiles when you thank it, as if the television was sentient.

Though he’s never been one for medical shows, Carmen doesn’t seem to mind. That’s because he barely watches it, passing out again maybe 5 minutes into the episode, still sitting up against the couch. It doesn’t even matter, for you follow suit not much later, the cigarette burnt out and filter falling to the floor in an ashy pile.

[weebsinstash]

Okay but AU where Miguel is an alpha and reader is normal but they still give off the smell of being in heat before their period or just once a month so poor Miguel has to struggle with an oblivious reader whose just going around saying hi to people like they’re not a walking talking advertisement for sex

Reader: what do you mean 'I probably shouldn't go near Miguel right now? I thought he looked like he had a headache earlier so I got him some of those empanadas he likes from the cafeteria and some migraine tea

Peter B, not sure how he can tell you without sounding like an absolute freak that his friend is an Alpha and can smell that you're ovulating right now and if you go near Miguel when you're like this you could end up pregnant: beeeeecaaaussssse, Mayday misses you! Yeah, come hold my baby and come this way and hang with us and definitely NOT to Miguel's office!

(Lmao Miguel just checking security feeds by coincidence and, ugh, double whammy combo, he sees you holding the baby, in his eyes looking like the CUTEST potential mom, and he's just like "well, if she gets pregnant it's God's will 🙏". 'Poke holes in the condoms' girl he doesnt OWN condoms and he tells you up front, on his shit like "we're married, this is what married couples do". Or it's like. Kinda like with superman lol, where Miguel's altered not completely human DNA skirts around the spermacide in condoms that's formulated for humans so he might knock you up unintentionally but once it's on the way he wont let you get rid of it and he's actually so excited)

He overhears another Alpha make comments on your body and your scent and you just turn your head to see Miguel holding them by the collar as their little feeties dangle in the air and he's growling at them to "watch who they're speaking about that way" and you're just left ignorant that he's basically strangling the dude cause he was saying the equivalent of "if Y/N doesn't watch out she's gonna end up knocked up" and "hey maybe it'll be me" (no, absolutely not, run laps cadet, the boss ain't happy with ya)

And it works in reverse too! He smells good and you definitely cant help but notice 😩❤️ He stands just a little too close to you one day and you can smell this kind of masculine musk, I feel like he's kind of like too lowkey a recluse holing himself up to wear men's cologne but he's also like kind of an older man so just like, the thought of him having the scented pomade for his hair and you smell things like his deodorant and body wash when he's too close and it all smells very much you know Male but in a sexy way, the scent of aftershave sticking to him some mornings, coffee on his breath when he points to something on a monitor over your shoulder, just all these sorts of smells to associate with his presence even if you can't pick up the intricacies of his more "biological" components. You're up working late once and you fall asleep in a chair and later on you wake up tucked in on a couch in a break room with a blanket that has a scent on it (to tell other Alphas to back off and let you rest) and you can't help but put your face into it. like, as a young girl I didn't understand but I'm 26 now and there are just some male colognes and just like idk scents where you smell it and it's just like UGH I bet the man who left this is big 😩❤️ if it's not overpowering and you're not used to smelling "dude scents" that shit can be dangerous in the wrong hands

You experience the rare event of Miguel actually sitting down for once (shocking I know) and your desire to help and also your coochie activates when you see him looking kind of tired and run down and like, rubbing his face with a hand and he's got a migraine and here you are, "let me platonically rub your shoulders sir it definitely isn't at least partially because I'm crazy crazy horny for you and something about you kinda lowkey makes me wanna serve you"

Like you reach out and start rubbing his neck and shoulders and he's just so sore and had been working so hard he's like GROANING and shit like 😩 how could I not run my fingers through his hair, how could I SURVIVE if he started doing that shit. I couldn't, he felt your nails lightly drag against his scalp and it sent shivers up his spine and now you're getting your back put on the nearest flat surface while he pulls all your clothes off

"Sorry, but I don't think I can hold myself back anymore."

[rainbow-wolf120]

MORE ABOUT VIVEO ALL ABOUT VIVEO TELL US MORE NEOWWWW !!! GO ON THE LONGEST RAMBLE YOU’VE EVER RAMBLED !!!!! 🔫

Ohohoho. You’re in for a real treat asker >:]

Okay, since I have so much about the TV twink, I decided to lore dump about Viveo and Rayman’s relationship. More importantly…

In College!!

Yes. And they were roommates

Me lore dumping under cut. I know not everyone cares for my OCs or ideas lol:

So, the story is that when Rayman first migrated into America, he was struggling to settle down. People didn’t like him and never really gave him the chance for… anything really.

Then, he heard about this one college (I don’t have a name for it atm), but it was very big on being “accepting to both humans and hybrids”. This was super rare for a college in what? 1950s?? 60s???

Whatever, it was a chance for Rayman.

Sadly, college was nothing like the advertisements, cause when he arrived, he was very much bullied into the ground. Turns out the college may be accepting but the students were not.

However, he wasn’t alone.

This leads into Viveo.

Viveo was harassed, yes, but not as much as Rayman. He is technically an “alien”, but he’s “human” enough to spare a beating.

Also, he’s buff

I do make jokes about Viveo being a twink, and he is. But he has jumpscare muscles. Like, when he flexes you can tell he works out.

(This is a reference to him being based off a JD coach and that burns calories and stuff idk it makes me feel buff </3)

The two met when Rayman was getting bullied. He would’ve fought back, but when last time he did he got in really big trouble because he broke someone's nose and the school sided with the bullies cause like, this is still the 1950s.

Viveo stepped in and scared them away with his tall frame and jacked body. Maybe a bit of psychological manipulation to get the point across.

(I may draw a comic about this, depends on how much y’all like them lol)

That’s how they officially met. Viveo may have heard of Rayman through rumors and drama (cause he’s a sucker for that), and Rayman heard of Viveo through reputation.

It turns out that they shared the same room! They were roommates yay 👏

They both pursued entertainment, so they shared a lot of the same classes which only made their bond stronger.

When Rayman is not trying to get a gig or in class, he takes a job at the college as a desk assistant and soon a CA (the people who patrol the dorms and tell people to shut up). Although it was only late at night, it was the only thing hiring.

Rayman doesn’t really know what Viveo does when he’s not partying, so he lets him stick around until he’s free again.

Although Viveo technically shouldn’t be there when he's on the job, let alone talking to him, it’s the only way people would actually go up and ask Rayman for assistance (even if they only talk to Viveo)

Also, it gives Viv something to do

Rayman doesn’t want to get fired, so when a boss or something comes along, Viveo acts like he’s there for help. Gotta use that acting class for something

As you know, Viveo is popular among the campus, and that popularity comes parties.

He’s a riot at these things. He’s fun, entertaining, and can sing really really good

Viveo is invited to all the dorm parties, but Rayman is not

Since Rayman is a CA, he technically works for the college and is able to rat people out

And partying is forbidden at this one

Even if Rayman is invited, he’s seen as a “stick-in-the-mud”. He tries his hardest to be “fun”, but he’s a bit too "good" to do anything crazy (unless Viveo nudges him too)

So, when Ray works, Viv parties.

(I know it’s a modern phone. If they had flying cars and fully interactive holograms in 1992, I’m sure this is likely)

Viveo is still lowkey selfish, but if he likes you, he’s a bit more lenient.

Being best friends and dormmates with basically one of the security guards, it gives Viveo a lot of power if you think about it

When he gets bored or tired of a party, he hits up Rayman to shut it down so he can leave with a "bang"

Is it unnecessary? Yes. Is it fun to see everyone’s night get ruined because you thought it was boring? A little.

It’s a benefit for them both, though

Rayman gets praised by his boss and coworkers (mostly his bosses), while Viveo gets to party with little to no consequences

Power couple at it finest

When Eden eventually becomes sort of a big name, Rayman takes Viveo with him to his job application as moral support. Viveo stands in the back supporting him, spicing his performance with sound effects, and helping him remember his lines if he slips up (Perks of a TV face)

Rayman does get the job, and he’s super pumped to tell Viv about it (Keep in mind that this is like, senior year of college). Viveo is obviously happy for him, but also a tad bit jealous.

Y’know, until Rayman drags him along.

In Rayman’s mind, he’s nothing without Viveo and vice versa. It’s a little different for Viveo, but that’s not important.

At the end of the day, Rayman gets himself a place as “Eden’s mascot”, and Viveo’s given a place of “Eden’s voice” per Rayman's request. Two aliens against the world.

That’s enough of me yapping, I don’t know who even bothered to read this far. If you did, thank you. You either really like Viveo, or have nothing better to do.

I might do more lore-dumping. This was fun. But it depends if people want to sit down and listen

Thank you for coming to my Gay Talk, hope to see you next time <3

[itsmattchou]

have you done a zb1 with idol!reader? like how they'd react to your performances, etc. i bet it would be cute 😋

we are young and wild !

pairing: zb1 maknae line x gn!idol!reader warnings: swearing, overuse of the word "bro", english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: zb1 when their s/o is an idol notes: i loved writing this! school starts on thursday im not oaky to anon: i love idol!reader bc in my opinion its PEAK delulu 🤭 thank you for your request! this turned into more general headcanons, but i still hope you like it!! AND YOU'RE RIGHT IT IS CUTE

GENERAL:

you're a member of the co-ed kpop group "zumblr" (yes they have a comeback). you placed 8th in the finale of delulu planet 999 and now you're member of said 2-year project group. :D

this takes place in a reality where dating isn't a fucking scandal in the industry 🤗

SHEN QUANRUI

dating rumors in 3… 2… 1…

bro doesn't even TRY to hide that you're his s/o ong

it's not like he doesn't value privacy (he very much does) it's just that he doesn't give a fuck??? he doesn't care AT ALL let him be in love with you in peace, it's his business

apart from all these couple items he buys for you two to show off on instagram, he always. just. stares at you. all the time.

ricky doesn't realize it, but there's always a teeny tiny little smile forming on his lips whenever he sees you performing during award shows, comeback stages, concerts etc

bro doesn't even notice when he's on screen when he's watching you perform, he's just in a complete trance 🤩

he desperately wants you to teach him your dances. could he learn them on his own? obviously, he's a talented dancer. but he always insists on you showing them to him

"ricky you can learn that dance yourself, c'mon!" "no lol i can't :D"

when you two appear on the same game show like weekly idol??? bro full on flirts with you

you two were supposed to have a staring contest and suddenly he starts talking about taking you shopping????

"do you wanna go shopping with me? i will pay, come with me." (his members are just like "WHAT THE HELLLLLL")

he tries to write love songs about you. he still has some trouble with writing lyrics in korean, because he obviously wants to perform them, but they're cute nonetheless 🥺

the song titles however always have something to do with you. most of them are kind of lowkey, like his song "darling" (he calls you darling)

or that song that is literally named after your representative emoji??? if your representative emoji is 🐑 for example, his song is called "sheep"

and then there's this one song he just straight up called "y/n"

bro doesn't care💥💥

loves to talk about you on vlive

"someone just asked me what my favorite zumblr song is!! it's 'old guyz on the street', y/n just slayed there!"

nobody asked that. he just wanted to talk about you and made a comment up.

a really popular ship in your fandoms

KIM GYUVIN

okay okay okay OKAY

you two are MCing together. people LOVE you two together because the vibes are immaculate, 11/10 i recommend

and it's not like it's obvious like you're in a relationship

you two may be dating in secret… but you're still acting like best friends

fans just love you two together, wether as best friends or as lovers. and it's obvious that you're close.

some fans that are against shipping always attack gyuyn shippers like "stop shipping them!! it's obvious they're just best friends!! 😡"

gyuvin and you are just laughing your asses off whenever you witness it

when you're performing songs on stage he's always singing and dancing along, having the time of his life. he's basically try harding to become the next meme😭

he really tries to attend every one of your concerts. gets really sad when he can't make it because of his schedule :(

on live? he's blasting your songs and turning into beyoncé whenever your parts come on

bro always advertises your albums and everything, also unboxes your newest album as soon as it comes out

always overdramatically falls to the ground as if somebody SHOT him because he didn't pull your photocard???? bro what's your problem with the chou pc you pulled🤬

he promotes your group more than he promotes his own LMAOOOO

^ always begs you for a signed version of the newest albums

"gyuvin why would you need me to sign the album? i'm literally your partner" "PFFFF i don't want you to sign, i want your members to sign it 🤣"

goes on dates with you in public without shame

he really loves the way most fans just believe you two are best friends, this means he can spend more time with you!!

takes SOOOO many selfies with you, bro even posts some pictures he took when on dates

you two constantly end up on reality shows and talk shows together💀💀

the IT DUO of 5th gen fr fr💪💪

PARK GUNWOOK

the cutest cutie on this planet is the only one who's actually and actively trying to fucking hide the relationship😭

he is a strong believer and lover of that certain thing called "privacy"

so if you ever mention anything about making your relationship public to him he's gonna be like "no NO NUH UH NO CHANCE DEFINITELY NOT"

he's only considering it once you're married in like. 10 years or so.

but he wants to marry you so🤭🤭🤭 a win is a win

he's so glad that both of you are still going to school & that u're in the same class

he can spend time with you without it being suspicious!!

classmates spending time together makes sense after all, especially when you're both idols!!

only problem is… bro cannot stop looking at you with those eyes

he doesn't even notice he does that 💀 but even if he wanted to he couldn't STOP

there's so much fondness in his eyes, it's a sight to cry over FOR REAL

gunwook looks at you like you're the most beautiful person in this universe, like you're the only star that matters to him in the nightsky ygm???

he also does that during your perfomances

no singing along, no dancing, his facial features do not move at all, blank face. it's just his eyes that tell the whole truth

fans be like "i want a man that looks at me the way gunwook looks at zumblr's y/n" and he's like "HUHHHHHH 😱"

other than the way he looks at u he's actually pretty good at keeping it a secret!!

acts as if you're only friends in school

he looooooves buying your albums, he's always pulling up with every single version of your newest album

he puts posters from you up in his childhood room. he'd also decorate his dorm room with pictures of you but he has to vlog in there so he can't 😔😔

cutely asks you for autographs from you :DD

"hi y/n can you please sign the photocard? 🥰" he's so adorable it makes you want to cry

he doesn't have a clear phone case SO that means he can always have your (now signed!!) photocard with him and nobody will ever see it <33

HAN YUJIN

i lied!! he also really tries to keep the relationship a secret!

but unlike gunwook he's really bad at it😭

he's so cute but so awkward at the same time

he doesn't make it obvious in a way that everybody immediately knows "oh, yujin and y/n are dating!"

he makes it obvious in the way he so desperately trying to avoid you that everybody immediately knows "there's something going on🤔"

he was on a show and was asked to dance to zumblrs newest song. he panicked and was like "who? oh uhm zumblr of course i know them hahaha! actually i don't know how to dance! uh hanbin hyung do you wanna try instead?"

somebody please save him😭

in case you didn't understand, he actually LIED on that show

he loves learning your dances

always practices them in private and later shows them to you, looking super proud

"look y/n, i actually know how to dance! i look better than you btw! >:)"

he likes teasing you a lot

whenever you post something on instagram, weverse or whatever, he's texting you about it within the first 5 minutes of you posting it

let's say you posted a selfie with a chocolate drink in the background??

he asks you if he should bring you some chocomilk to your next date

he likes to analyze and rate the pictures. is the lightning good, your posing? bro acts like he's your selca teacher

during performances he always stares into nowhere, making himself zone out because he knows he'd only stare at you if he watched your performance😭

instead he's thinking about what to eat for breakfast or the last kdrama he watched

he would really love to BUT he won't talk about you or your group on vlive

he so obviously avoids the topic of your group that it's kind of an inside joke in the fandom that he probably has some kind of beef with you💀

if you two were to be on the same show he honestly wouldn't know how to act fr

bro wouldn't say a word to you. or to anyone. he'd only stare at the ground. PLEASE SAVE HIM AGAIN

[blainesebastian]

no regrets

ship: austin butler x female reader rating: PG word count: 2,145 summary: basically this is all bri's fault. "you need to do something with this...you meet him at a yoga class" definitely inspired by long-haired austin warnings: none notes: this was lowkey and fun :) appreciate you bri, as always. i know zero percent about yoga, literally googled 'simple yoga poses' and went from there--so the description of getting into said poses might be inaccurate. taglist: @stylespresleyhearted, @austinbutlermischief, @killerqueenfan

You have no idea how you allowed yourself to be talked into a yoga class.

And here’s the thing—it wasn’t by a friend or co-worker, not family or seeing an advertisement somewhere with a good deal, you’re the one who convinced yourself it was a good idea. Just wanted to try something new, not exactly interested in working out or toning your body, nothing like that—but just to gain a different experience, see what all the hype was about. You at least did enough research not to end up in a hot yoga class, jesus, you’d definitely expire in one of those.

Stretches and calming breathing though? How bad could it be?

Apparently bad when your limbs don’t know how to do simple poses…like you’re pretty sure your elbows and knees didn’t get the memo about directions they’re supposed to go.

…really mastered the Corpse Pose though.

You let out a long breath that flutters your hair as you sit up, a bit of sweat sticking to your skin as you take a look around at some other people in the class that seem to have easily adapted to the routine. The guy in front of you is definitely smirking as he wraps up his mat, looking like he’s entertaining the thought of saying something. You narrow your eyes, pulling your hair free from the braid to get it out of your face by doing a high bun.

“First time?” He asks as you get up and…did your bones just make a low cracking noise in protest?

Picking up your mat, you get a better look at him and…well, not that he was difficult to notice while the class was going on. He was positioned right in front of you, long lines, muscular tone, long blonde hair tied up in a loose bun. There’s a pretty flush to his cheeks now from the workout, his cupid-bow lips full and pink.

Not that you’re staring or anything.

“Oh no, I come all the time—I adapted the Corpse Pose into something called the ‘dead fish’, couldn’t you tell?” You smile a little, uncapping some water to take a few large sips.

He tosses his bag over his shoulder and both of you slowly follow the crowd out of the yoga room, “I was hopin’ the instructors would notice that and implement it into the usual line up.”

You smirk, your stomach doing a swirled flip at the teasing in his voice. He’s attractive, really no denying that, “Not sure I’m coming back for another round, I can’t feel the bottom of my spine.”

Laughing lightly, he pulls the elastic from his hair and…clearly he didn’t do a ton of sweating during the workout, soft blonde waves fall to his shoulders. He runs his hand through them, reaching into his bag for his water.

“It gets better the more you do it,” He says, breaking your concentration. You blink, refocusing on him talking instead of his hair, “You’d probably benefit from a Plank or Baby Cobra.”

You blink, “You’re just saying words, I have no idea what that means.”

He grins, glancing towards the exit before turning his head back to look at you. There’s a definite moment where his eyes trace you up and down, making that flurry of butterflies in your stomach explode outward.

“Well if you come back, I’ll show you.”

Is this man seriously flirting with you at a yoga class? Though, to be honest, it’s almost refreshing. You’ve kind of sworn off dating because places like bars notoriously have terrible guys approaching you with overused lines and unable to handle words like ‘no, thanks’. So…what’s the harm in coming back at least one more time for a cute guy that obviously knows how to stretch?

“Are you asking me on a date to a yoga class?” You throw out there, raising your eyebrows. You’ve always been one that’s forward—why waste time?

He picks up on it easily, doesn’t seem to be the type that backs down either. “Figured it wouldn’t hurt to try out.”

You smile a little and nod slowly, “Alright, one more class—I think that’s all my body can take.” You reach out your hand to shake his, “Y/N.”

“Austin,” He replies, “Don’t worry—I’ll go easy on you.”

He winks before heading out the door. What’s the worst that could happen? You pull a muscle? Least you’ll be seeing him in those workout pants again…and honestly? Seems like an even trade.

--

Hot-Yoga-Guy (Austin—which, you know his name, you should really start calling him by it) wants to meet up for smoothies before the next yoga class. Despite the fact that you kinda find smoothies texturally weird, how can you deny saying yes when he asks? Besides, the dude totally seems like the type that lives in smoothie bars—probably has a recommendation of fruit combinations at the ready.

Except, when you show up you expect him to be in his gym attire since that’s the only thing you’ve seen him in. Fits the whole hot-yoga-guy-who-drinks-smoothies archetype, and yet—

He’s wearing dark blue jeans, a white button-down shirt, black leather jacket and booties. That beautiful blonde hair of his is flowing over his shoulders and…jesus, you didn’t remember how attractive he was. You’re kinda just staring at him from the doorway until someone comes in after you and practically knocks you over attempting to get in line to order. Whoops.

He turns a little and smiles when he notices you’ve walked in, motioning you over to a small table by the window he’s snagged. Carrying your gym bag with your change of clothes for yoga (and two bottles of water, you learned from the last time that hydration is not overrated), you set it down on the floor and plop into the chair across from him.

“Hi,” You breathe out, “So I gotta admit, never really done the whole smoothie thing before—much more of a froyo girl.”

“First the yoga and now this,” Austin teases, “Feel like you really need a hands-on guide.”

“Well as long as you’re offering.” You grin—definitely okay with his hands on…anything.

You get to know one another over your smoothies (curated by Austin because there’s almost too much to choose from. Strawberry-banana isn’t too bad, or maybe you’re just distracted by the ocean-blue eyes in front of you, up for debate). You learn that Austin’s interested in becoming a serious actor, a mark that he wants to grow into and leave behind, something that hasn’t quite happened yet but you’re sure will at some point. He’s charismatic and personable—what’s not to like on a big screen? You share about your passions too—that you teach first grade history but what you’d really like to do some day is write a book, it’s all mapped out in your head…you’ve just never been brave enough to type it out.

“Too afraid it’ll somehow fail, I guess.” You admit, throwing away your empty smoothie cup.

Austin holds the door open for you, both making your way outside. The yoga studio is just around the block,

“Yeah, I get that,” He curls some of his hair behind his ear, “Problem with that is, you’ll never know if you don’t try it out.”

You hum lightly, “You’re makin’ too much sense.”

He smiles a little, “Let’s just say I’ve had the same talk with myself a few times, got it memorized by now.”

And maybe it’s that easy? Putting yourself out there, seeing what happens. Austin’s got a point—if you don’t try and write a novel, or put your thoughts on paper, it’s only ever going to be a ‘what if’. That’s not something you constantly want to live with like a black cloud hanging over your head.

When you get home that night, you begin organizing your thoughts on different colored post its, categorizing your ideas. It’s the most inspired you’ve felt in a long time.

--

Two yoga classes turn into four, which turn into six and…even by the eighth class? You’re not getting any better at this whole balance and stretching stuff. Though to do be honest, it’s not like you don’t know you’re there for pretty much one thing—and it’s not strengthening your core.

You’ve decided, very adult-like, that you hate the instructor and the sound of her voice when she tries to get you the Low Lunge Pose and…how do people even stretch their legs straight out like that?

“I think I pulled something in my back,” You pout, flat on your yoga mat after most people have packed up and left. Austin is rolling his own mat up, a chuckle rumbling in his chest at your predicament.

You want to glare at him but as your eyes find him, kinda hard to feel anything but pure attraction. His blonde hair is up in a messy bun, the muscles in his arms on display thanks to the shirt he’s wearing, and his skin is kissed with a light sheen of sweat. Unfair, really.

“You know—most people get better with practice,” He teases, setting his bag down and sitting himself next to you.

Luckily it doesn’t seem like another class is coming in to see you pathetically stretched out on your mat, slowly dying.

“I really think yoga isn’t for me,” You laugh lightly, sitting up. Ouch.

“Then why’d you keep comin’?”

Turning your head, you raise your eyebrows at Austin, “Oh come on, it’s not obvious?”

He smiles a little, nodding as he looks down at the mat. “Your back isn’t straight enough with the Low Lunge, that’s why you can’t get your leg up.”

Your eyebrows lift slightly, “You checkin’ me out?”

Austin grins, “I’m checkin’ out the terrible yoga pose, yeah.”

You snicker a little, putting yourself on your knees before letting out a dramatic breath, “Well—c’mon coach, help me out here.”

He offers you a hand to get you off the floor and then…those hands move your hips to position you onto the mat. You can feel the heat of his skin through your leggings and the sound of a roaring ocean fills your ears for a moment. Shaking your head, you push a random strand of hair out of your face before you concentrate on what he’s saying.

“Okay, so feet first—” He lines you up and encourages you to bend forward, “Hands flat on the mat…” Austin is patient as you haphazardly follow the instructions, “Okay, now straighten your back…”

You let out a long sigh, remembering to breathe. The first time you did this whole yoga thing you were holding your breath and nearly passed out. Good times.

His hand curves around the front of your leg, the one you’re going to lift and…are you really expected to concentrate when you can feel his fingers on your thigh? A shiver slithers down your spine, creating goosebumps on your arms. God, you’re feeling lightheaded—are you still breathing through the pose? You blink a few times and lift your leg, Austin helping you straighten it.

“Okay, good, now hold for thirty seconds.”

Thirty seconds? There’s a slight groan that leaves your lips, especially when Austin asks if you ‘feel the difference?’ in the pose you’re in compared to the one you attempted to do during class. You definitely feel that lower spot in your spine spasm, that’s for sure. When Austin moves to stand beside you and you’re able to keep still for about fifteen seconds before you start tipping.

There’s not even time to warn him, a soft squeak leaving your lips as you faulter, falling over and right into him. Both of you end up on the floor with a solid thunk! and a few giggles escape your lips.

“Sorry.”

Austin huffs lightly but he’s smiling, sprawled out on the floor on his back with you against his chest…least he was soft to land on. “Alright, so maybe yoga isn’t for you.” He agrees with a soft laugh.

You tip your head back a little, resting it on his shoulder before turning to look at him, “I mean, I don’t have any regrets.”

Austin licks his lips, arguably on purpose, and your gaze shifts down to his mouth. Your noses bump together in a soft bunny kiss before you close the distance, warmth bursting in your stomach and fluttering outward in your body. There’s heat in your veins that is not left behind from the workout, one of your hands moving to thread through his long hair.

The kiss ends naturally and you can’t help but smile, “Think that’s the best pose I’ve practiced in here.”

Austin smirks, brushing his lips against yours, “I call that the Multiple Kiss Pose.” Corny.

A laugh leaves your lips as he kisses you again—definitely no regrets.

[everythingisawayoflife]

TOP THREE TIMMYS LETS GO WOOOOOOO

these are my top three tim drakes (animated at least, i’m not well versed in the comics enough to pick my favorite tim runs in the comics)

3. batman unlimited

unpopular opinion but i lowkey fw this red robin suit. normally condom cowl is like love/hate but the fact tim has hair peeking out at the back implies a mullet and i kind of love that. its also one of the better designs in these movies (cause that nightwing suit is kind of a mess in my opinion why does he have ski jump hair like zayn from the adventurous adventures of one direction) we never got to see this guy without his mask on so that makes me sad. i also love this tim cause he’s kind of dumb. like he’s not NOT smart in this but he’s kind of stupid and it makes me laugh.

2. gotham by gaslight tim

the robins may not have had a lot of screen time but i soaked every single bit of it up. tim is tiny and full of rage (but not really, more like fear). he is INCREDIBLY small and i want to put him in my pocket and kiss his teensy forehead. he really is just a little boy and i want to see my little boy! i want dc to explore this universe further simply bc i fw the idea of bruce adopting them all at these ages and they already know each other previously. like it was my favorite part of the movie and might be one of my fave batman movies. like give me a sequel with all three of them + selina as their mother and i’ll be a happy happy camper.

1. TNBA tim

if anybody pays attention to my blog or ao3, you’ll know that THIS IS MY GUY. my boy here. this is my son who i just happen to love diagnosing with colds, flus, and other ailments. and yes, i am aware that he is basically tim in name only and is jason’s carbon copy but do i care? nope! i love timmy todd with all of my heart and soul and yearn for more of him. the people crave for timmy todd (the people being me). i would read a MILLION comics featuring timmy todd and the TNBA universe if i could. with the exception of some things (cough cough brubabs cough cough), I LOVE TNBA. i love tim and bruce’s relationship, they are so father-son i could write a paper on it. and im pretty sure ive read all the BTAS/TNBA comics that ran with the show and a little afterwards and even read a small comic/advertisement about tim having allergies and allergy meds making him sleepy!! dick and tim also have a sweet brotherly relationship in the comics and i fw it so hard!! DC give me more comics of this tim and my life is yours!!!! i would ask for more episodes of TNBA but not without kevin. NEVER without kevin. kevin conroy you are so missed. also - i love that the joker jr storyline gives tim’s story more edge and tragedy as everyone seems to love for batman and co. but as a protective mother, the joker jr storyline makes me so sad :((

i could also do this for dick…hmm…thinking…

[f-amilyties]

hi guys i feel like i need to do a life update just because so much has happened from when i started this blog to now -

i started this blog when i was ~14 and had a basic enough understanding of photoshop to teach myself how to make gifs. i started using michael j fox's filmography for practice (an excuse to stare at him longer) and posted it here. then all the sudden i was gaining followers and it became such a great community, i made so many internet friends and literally was posting here like it was my job or something. it was my pride and joy logging on here and talking to everyone and posting my silly little posts.

fast forward to me continuing this blog through high school, i kept up with it as much as i could as my schedule got so much more demanding. then, i went to college, majored in advertising, and graduated last year! i'm now about to turn 23 and i work as a designer at an advertising agency and if you can't guess from the beginning of this post its almost entirely due to mjf and the creation of this blog.

i literally owe this man my life.

i also met him again in february because he happened to be going to a con i was already going to (no hug this time but got a cute photo)

naturally with how busy college and high school was i just wasn't on tumblr as much but i'd pop on and reblog a gif for mjfs bday every now and then. but what made me pop on here again is because i recently moved to new york and the first thing i did in my apt was watch the secret of my success... and man. was that a full circle moment.

if i didn't begrudgingly watch back to the future for the first time 10 years ago i would not be here, which lowkey speaks to the plot of the movie.... damn... but yeah thank you michael j fox for my career

tbh i wanna start making gifs again when i have the time because i miss it so much but to anyone that ever interacted with my blog or sent me messages in my inbox ily all thank you for everything !!!!!! i am lookin forward to being more active on here again soon :) *side note back in the day i used the tag #nft to categorize things as NOT FAMILY TIES and now NFTs are a thing and it looks like i'm tagging something im not!!!!! thats so annoying!!!!

[storiesofsvu]

Thursday Funday!

IM SO FUCKING READY. Sometimes I do wish that rita appearances weren’t like.. advertised. I really do want an episode where I am fully not prepared and she just waltzes on screen with no warning. Like.. I’d die…

Okay, what a cold opening that was, creepy and obsessive and I like it.

“just because we can do something, doesn’t mean we should.” Accurate.

I both like and hate the way AI is brought into shows now, like it’s being showcased as something that’s not great most of the time but it’s also just scary the shit they come up with that it does/can do and that stresses me out man. Its fucking terrible.

Jfc the height difference between shaw & the lieutenant LOL she so smol.

Why does olivia always look SO much better on the OTHER law and order shows except for her own.. like… cmon guys, do better

Okay the last time a captain used a rape kit dna to find a perp olivia SCREAMED in her face LOL.  But also yes this is a VERY big issue that will make victims not move forward or get kits done. But also WHY isn’t there a SEPARATE and PRIVATE database for rape kits to be a part of??!!

FUCK

(yes rita just showed up)

Oh she is BACK baby. Oh god… this is giving me theories and so many ideas of not only the gap in time that she’s been on the show (aka in court) and the drastic different physical appearance. Oh man. Oh fuck. This is gonna be my only thought all fucking weekend. Why must I go to work?!

Oh sweet jesus fuck. The delivery of the line “someone who has been *raped* before” from rita made me feel things deep in my soul (and they are things that only confirm/further my thoughts, woof) (not to mention further comments from olivia, oh god there is SO MUCH SUBTEXT HERE!) (gifs & my theories to come later this weekend!!)

We are SO BACK.

LIKE, the little quips, the head tilts, eyebrow raises, ugh YES. The acting/characterization is exactly how it should be and SPOT on.  First suit was meh, second suit was fucking fire (and pretty similar to one of the ones she wore in 25 acts). I don’t want this to be over. PLS let her come back more often.

Also this episode is honestly super good plot and writing and pacing wise so I’m here for it.

I honestly REALLY do enjoy that mothership is basically Nolan getting a strip torn off of him by women he works with every week LOL

Olivia PLEASE. If it was casey who’d gotten that guilty verdict you would’ve come in screaming. Nolan deserves it.

Rita’s suits are giving very presidential and I am here for it.

Tbh I really hoped the girl would get off but I was also very certain that wasn’t going to happen.

Why is it over already? I need more. I need so much more LOL.

Svu time…

Guys for a solid hour there I fully forgot Velasco existed. Like.. Joe who? I only know Ms Calhoun.

I’m like.. 99% sure he’s not gonna be in tonights ep LOL. Who ever would have thought of a day where I was more into OG than SVU lol

Not just a judge but a *federal* judge. Well fuck.

OP! there he is!

Yeah this is one of those super fucked up situations. I lowkey called it from the start when she said “why do you remember more about my childhood than I do?” esp when she’s the younger sister. Trauma= memory loss.

Not me sitting here going “man I really wish there was more cop/investigation in this episode” cause like, I am lowkey bored and wanted more Velasco and kate content. When 97% of the time I’m yelling “MORE COURTROOM” lolololol. This was Scanavino’s time to shine.

Bruno looking fine af though

God this shit is so fucked up.

Shoutout to peter for killin in this episode. Glad they finally gave him something to work with.

I WILL say that I do miss the courtroom sass, from ALL the lawyers. Like, a lot of people focus in on Barba being the sassy one but like, literally all the ada’s have the same if not more sass. Ms Alex “you can have a toothbrush” Cabot. Ms Casey “you’ve just got funky sperm” Novak. Do I even need to quote something from SONYA?? (ugh man I miss her, maybe I’ll watch some old svu after this…) And I’m not saying Carisi lacks this, cause he’s got it, especially in the older seasons when he was a cop. The writing is just lacking nowadays. Give them more personality PLEASE.

VERY heavy Olivia focus tonight, especially between both shows.

Still feels weird to have 4 hours of l&o cut down to only 2. Like.. what am I supposed to do now with the rest of my evening? It’s only 8? I’m just gonna sit  here in silence and fixate about rita for 9458504540549i4923 hours…

[ariel-cohen-art]

I just had a dream and I think it's about A.I art, and it gave me an interesting insight I thought I'd share. If you can stand to read a relatively long crazy dream.

I went to a picnic with my college friends (I go to art school. We are all artists then.) There I met, among many of my friends, a very white boy, almost albino looking, who doesn't really exist irl. He offered me chocolate from a foreign brand. Cool thing about that chocolate: Its whole branding was "Hey kids! *You're a changeling*. Here's what the kid you replaced is eating in the fae realm!" (Lowkey awesome branding. Also interesting. I'd always thought about changelings as a human baby being taken to the fae realm, but I never considered the fae kid who stays in their place. How long until they realize they don't belong? Do they ever go back to the fae realm? Btw, I promise all of this is relevant.)

So after the picnic all of us took a bus and went back to an abandoned-ish place. I listened to my "Ode to Loneliness" playlist on the bus (I actually have this playlist. It's the "I wanna be alone bc I don't belong in this world" playlist. I like it.)

Now cut to another scene. A robot actress, at a press conference, basically advertising herself as a product, talking about how her robot company had made her and how realistic and beautiful she was. She *was* beautiful, and actually worked as an actress. But then a guy came and tried to shoot her, to stop her from stealing real actresse's jobs. He missed the shot and the robot had to be removed from the conference.

Now back to me and my group of artist losers. We got to the abandoned place. The reason we were there was because the white boy had been giving a mission by the King of Dreams (Yep. Morpheus himself, Dream of the Endless, the Sandman, The Oneiromancer, ma' boy. ✨️). Now this boy was kinda proud, (... a proud.. boy.. that's why he was white, I love my brain fr) he had a bit of a superiority complex, so he hated the idea of there *being* a god or king of dreams, with power above him, telling him what to do, but he did what Morpheus asked anyway. He created a mummy. (He didn't bring it back to life. I think he used a mummy as a vessel, but the life he created was new, it just incarnated in the mummy. Like Frankenstein.).

So the mummy woke up and started asking who created him and who created his creator. He then got violent and started attacking people and I woke up.

*Ok but what is the point about A.I art in this dream?*

So what called my attention when I woke up was the contrast. The robot artist, a perfect and confident actress. Even when she was targeted by the shooter, she was protected and comforted like a human would. The crowd looked genuinely upset for her.

Meanwhile there's the real human artists. Our messy disaster boy with a questionable personality, feeling commissioned by outside forces beyond his control, yielding to them and creating a monster. Like all art, it was formed out of something that had already existed in the past. A terrifying creation just as messy as he was, full of confusion, anger issues and existential anguish.

That is what a real artist is like. This is how real art is made. Real artists listen to "loneliness playlists" while in a bus full of people they know. We eat our changeling themed chocolates to cope with the fact that we feel like changelings, stuck in the human realm, left behind and out of place. We have questionable personalities and beliefs, massive egos and a ton of existential anguish. Human art is made because we exist and live like that.

While A.I art is perfect, flawlessly beautiful and beloved by the masses, human art is a messy mirror created by even messier artists to reflect who we are. It suffers as we do, it mirrors our questionings, our violence, our deepest thoughts. It is our imperfect monster.

[imnotgoodatthis]

The things I am not good at list includes makeup and hair style stuff as well as art. So here's some selfies of my exploration of both in my work bathroom. Recipe blog style blah blah blah under cut.

I want to be clear. The stuff written below is meant in a "healing from generational trauma" and NOT AT ALL in a "reclaiming my dark feminine energy by being a trad-wife" way. This blog is not a safe space for TERFS, the alt-right, or whatever the latest re-packaging of mandated gender roles is.

I was raised by a woman who had a lot going on. Her relationships with her parents, religion, men, the hippie movement, cults, mental health, troubled teen industry, etc., etc., etc., all came together in so many ways that obviously left their mark on my sister and I. The mental health genetic lottery didn't help either.

Where my sister got restrictive eating disorders, a yearning for attention that eventually led her to being credited on a Grammy winning track, and hyperfemme tendencies, I got basically the exact opposite. Food is equivalent to comfort, I'd really rather not be perceived too much, and I was so disconnected from all things feminine that when I first tried the (extremely hyped) Il Makiage foundation quiz I ended up with a bottle of foundation that made me look downright pumpkin-y.

I was raised to believe the following, in retrospect, absolutely insane things about what it meant to be a woman and a feminist.

Never enjoy butterflies, unless in a biology/entomology way.

The reason was that, as my mother claimed, only women in abusive relationships actually like butterflies. The symbolism of the cocoon was likened to the work needed to be done to escape an abusive relationship. If I adorned myself with a butterfly printed t-shirt, or perhaps those butterfly shaped hair clips that were so trendy when I was young, I was basically advertising that I was more likely to be susceptible to the manipulations of abusive men. The same basic fear applied to hummingbirds, tank-tops/singlets, dreamcatchers, stained glass windows, and any sort of baking beyond brownies and birthday cakes.

Makeup exists only as a way to market an unrealistic and unattainable beauty ideal to women.

Okay, my mom lowkey popped off with this one. However, it led me into a phase of nausea inducing not-like-other-girls behavior in my teens. Luckily, I was crushed under the weight of mentally pleading with everyone around me to ignore me, so I don’t think I owe any apologies to anyone besides myself.

Doing your hair is a waste of time.

Why should I fawn for male attention? A ponytail is perfectly reasonable and efficient. Why would I need anything beyond that?

Are you getting the picture? I was goblin-core before it was cool. The weird girl that was painting Warhammer 40k miniatures, only knew how to apply goth/raccoon style eyeliner, and was forever wearing cargo shorts and a Darth Maul t-shirt? That was me. I could recite pi to the 38th numeral, but had no idea how to simply say "thank you" when a teacher commended me on my essays. Sure, I had a black belt in both Tae Kwon Do and Kung Fu, but I didn't know how to go bra shopping until I was in my mid-twenties.

I was the shittiest version of the "raised to be strong" girl from so many YA novels (also deemed "stupid" by my mother, by the way).

In a topsy-turvy way, my mother's brand of feminism was insistent on stripping me of my femininity.

My mother told me that blue eyeshadow is for prostitutes. I think it could be for anyone.

[gem-magpie]

Soda is hands down the best beverage ever invented for a belly admirer like me. Soda fills you up and makes you feel blissfully full. Soda bloats you out, stretching your gut big and taut. Soda makes you BURP. I know it's not everyone's thing, but burps INSTANTLY melt me and drive me absolutely crazy. I LOVE burpy, bloated bellies. Most of all, soda makes you fat.

It is such an amazingly hot concept that, at least where I live, you can basically drink a massive bucket of sugar laden, hyper-caloric dessert syrup with every meal. You can guzzle it between meals. You can drink it literally all day long, everywhere you go, and nobody will bat an eye. It honestly is lowkey mind-melting for me that, plastered on every medium possible, there is advertising and subliminal messaging trying to get you to drink more and more filling, bloating, burpy, fattening soda.

Yes Can Do is everything about that concept and more. For a big winged birdy like me, little normal sized soda cans are so unsatisfying to hold ;v;. Good thing there's Yes Can Do, the extra large soda can for anthros with big wings, pawbs, and other type of bappers! It also just happens to be good for those with a big appetite too, seeing as it has about as many calories as that absurdly sinful Baskin-Robbins oreo shake (I can not believe that thing is real. Oh my... 😍).

You can really tell how much I love them. Some dead giveaways might be my huge, fat thighs and ass that are barely draped by my skirt. Maybe my heaving bust, which is nearly squishing into my chubby cheeks and double-chin? I definitely would blame you if you somehow missed my enormously fat gut! It's literally completely hanging out of my shirt, barely not brushing the floor with my soft under-tummy? My bloated stomach is so full of Yes Can Do that it's blushing from the strain of all that carbonation. You can hear it rumbling and churning as it works all that sugary liquid into deep, rolling belches and ever more plush blubber. I am actually bracing myself against the wall in a impassioned effort to greedily drink more. It's that good.

Huge thanks to @ArllanaEats for this amazing commission! I had the basic idea for this, but she went absolutely WAY above and beyond with the design of the label of these cans. Seriously, zoom in and look at them! That is, if you can tear your eyes away from my hugely bloated belly >v<.

CAN you handle it? Yes, Can Do!

[scarefox]

today at the pharmacy while I was purchasing allergy pills

woman at the other counter next to me, pointing at an advertisement showing a filled out mock-up form: "Ugh. Erika Mustermann... is that because of the new gender trend?? Because before it always was Max Mustermann" (<- placeholer fake name we use in germany for examples and stuff... basically "Mustermann" literally translates to "Exemplary-man")

woman mumbling some more: "Erika.. and then MusterMANN..."

(girl, as if last names are gendered in Germany??? Even if they have male titles in there.... not going into the history of many western last name systems now...)

pharmacist: "uhm maybe? But I think it's nice, isn't it??"

woman suddenly a bit louder and faster: "oh of course. I don't even care about it."

OH DO YOU?? Why did you bring it up then in this lowkey annoyed, judgy tone hoping the pharmacist would join in and complain how burdened she is to see a female first name where once was a male first name all these years??

tbh I was bit stunned to witness this right next to me. Could barely follow my own order. The brain rot of that woman...

queerphobes be like: the gender agenda is everywhere!!

also queerphobes: a female first name with a male sounding last name?? Oh these trans and diverse are pushing it down our throats now!

Or maybe I did miss the lore where in the Mustermann-Universe there are only men, who also only ever just have male children.

[fapper]

reminiscing 2014 before i go to this one place for scamming me

back in the day on twitter it was very easy to hack twitter accounts and i used to hack a few and got a really nice saved usernames that nobody was using mind you i was 13... you basically had to click forgot password or smt and literally GUESS which email the original owner used like it was genuinely a guessing game but twitter patched it up pretty quickly ngl... and i used to use this indian link all the time to get fake followers for free but i forgot what it was called you basically gave access to this website and they made u spam post a bunch of tweets that advertised their service but an experienced veteran like me were deleting all my spam tweets in lightning speed. that was nice and it gave 20 - 60 free followers depending on which link u used. also used to do 30x30 which basically means "follow me with 30 of ur fake accs and ill do the same" so i used to scam people lowkey by doing this and at the end i peaked at 28k followers. anyways im about to go to this one place to ask about my order cuz its been... 50 minutes <3 about to get my karen on

[hollyhomburg]

i have yet to go to the botanical gardens but my roommate went there and liked it a lot! im going to gwangmyeong cave tomorrow which im excited about. im going to the lantern festival next weekend(its the 16th-28th) with my friend before she goes back to her home country :( i definitely wanna do more traveling within korea but im very nervous to because i don't wanna go with my roommate(she drives me crazy if we're together for too long) and i haven't met anyone who i wanna travel around with. im planning to go to daegu to visit a friend in January but im so nervous since my Korean isn't very good T_T

I feel you I had the most batshit crazy roommate when I lived in Korea like…she Litterally would go on for 30 minutes talking about how she just had to lance her boils on her face 😭 and other gross shit. She also had a massive breeding kink and blatantly advertised it to Litterally everyone she met how “fertile” she was and how it had been proven by medical doctors and shit…every time I think I might not be the best socially- I think about her. Like at least I’m a bit better than that 😂

Honestly, I think when I lived there there was more of an emphasis on being polite rather than knowing the language so so so well- of course you’ve realized by now that you need to know the basics. But the vast majority of people I interacted with traveling where very accepting of google translate 😂

Finding people you can travel well with is so hard! I think the biggest thing is like- calm travelers. You don’t necessarily need to be well traveled to be calm- but there is a certain subset of people who know how to manage their anxiety while traveling and those who don’t- as well as those who know how to be helpful! I hope you’ll find someone!

Lowkey if I ever get to Korea like I plan to- I’m 90% sure I’m gonna turn to someone on here to find someone to do stuff with since it’s so hard to make friends in your mid 20’s 🥺

[treesap-blogs]

HI GUYS IM POSTING ON SUNDAY INSTEAD OF SATURDAY!! Sorry. Back with a review of “The Sunbearer Trials” by Aiden Thomas

Hello, Tumblrians! It’s been a while since I’ve made a review, I’m sorry about that. Alas, only two weeks after school, my mom took me down to the South to go visit some family 😔it was lowkey miserable! 2/10 don’t recommend I got gaslit so many times lmao

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING ON SATURDAY😭I was very busy! I’m gonna try to stop making self-imposed deadlines, because a) I literally never follow through with them so they read like empty promises, b) I get last-minute anxiety paralysis and never upload.

Anyways! Here’s a review of a queer book, because they probably would’ve been restricted in the state I was in. Maybe not banned per say, but definitely not accepted with open arms. The only open arms we’re getting in South Carolina are guns, and dear old Uncle Dave pretending he’s asking me for a hug and not forcing me to do it out of moral/familial obligation. Sorry.

Not really any Book Discovery Backstory for this one, except for that I wanted to get around to reading every single Aiden Thomas book. And this was originally meant to be for the Trans Rights Readathon, but I got tired and gave up! Oops.

The Sunbearer Trials is the book in question! For once, its advertising is pretty accurate: Think The Hunger Games’ nail-biting (and televised) battle royale, mixed with the demigod folklore and plot aspects of Percy Jackson (but make it gods of Mexican instead of Greek/Roman mythology)! Teo, a Semidiós transgender teen(son of Quetzal, the god of birds), because of his Jade status, doesn’t expect to be chosen as a competitor in The Sunbearer Trials: a group of deathly games played by Semidiós teens, where the lowest-ranking has the “greatest honor” of all—be sacrificed in order to fuel the Sun’s power and keep the Obsidian evil gods at bay. However, that doesn’t mean Teo’s worried about others: his friend Niya, the higher-ranking Gold daughter of Tierra, is one of the strongest heroes of their generation and dangerously likely to be chosen. So he’s in for a nasty surprise when two Jades get selected for the games this year, one being Xio, the thirteen year-old son of Mala Suerte, and Teo. Now the two of them must compete in five mysterious trials, against far more powerful opponents, for glory, pride and their own survival.

For a book with that intense of a summary, I wasn’t expecting for it to be as humorous and fun as it was? But I’m kinda glad for that, because hundreds of pages of just on-page child death will inevitably get emotionally taxing. So, I found this to be a very enjoyable read! I liked the descriptions of food!!(don’t read this on an empty stomach), and our character dynamics, which I was pleasantly surprised by because I usually dislike or outright hate books with large casts! Aiden Thomas definitely had his priorities straight on the characters to center though, and although we got to know a bit about everyone, it didn’t feel like there was too little or too much time spent with anyone. It didn’t feel crowded, basically.

Not to be that book account, but we also got a bit of rivals to lovers, with Aurelio and Teo! I was a little on-the-fence about it at first because, you know, tropes, but I ended up growing to like the genuine bond they developed amidst the trials. Also, Aiden Thomas just has a way with writing gay yearning I think! 

With all that said, although this book was a fun read, it felt juvenile at times. If some of the cursing or sexual humor was cut out, it could definitely pass as a middle grade. Personally, I don’t like middle grades, so this was disappointing to me especially considering how dark the summary is? Some of the lines (particularly Niya’s) were so corny or cringey I had to laugh. Add that to this being in a modern world, and I take critical damage from being reminded that memes and vine coexist with demigod death games in this book. 

Anyhow! Overall, this was an enjoyable (even if flawed) read. As you guys should know, I love culturally rich stories, and I loved the Mexican parts of the settings and story. And if you read the summary for that and thought to yourself “hey! That sounds right up my alley”, I’m not stopping you from checking it out. I’ll also be reading the sequel, because there was a hell of a cliffhanger.

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️½ stars/5. Finished 04/05/2023.

(Book content/trigger warnings: fire/fire injury, child death(on-page), violence+blood, bullying, gender dysphoria.)

-Paz, signing off!