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moosecow · 2 years ago

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UNPOPULAR OPINION TIME!

Ten things I wish would just DIE already…

10. Miraculous Ladybug

Before you sharpen your pitchforks! Hear me out! I actually REALLY like this show…but GOD It is the BIGGEST tease I have EVER seen! Marinette and Adrien should have gotten together at the end of the first season, and maybe we could have explored their relationship, given them more depth? Raised the stakes instead of the CONANT. ENDLESS. FILLER. Of absolute nothing that is this show. We all know they’re going to get together, just rip the bandaid and let us move on. I’ve never seen a show jerk its fan base around so much!

9. Avatar the Last Air Bender

Again, I LOVE THIS SHOW, SO, SO MUCH! But I can tell that they’re now turning this into a cash cow. I don’t want to see another avatar show, especially after what they did with Legend of Korra. What made Avatar so special was that, yes there was a lot going on in their world, but it never stopped focusing on the core cast, their development, their relationships, and their reactions to the world they live in. Korra just gave us more and more characters instead of focusing on the ones we had, and it lost me with its overcomplicated plot, and I fear legend of Genji, AND the live action remake (which already has alarm bells going up because it’s live action and when has worked out well?) Can we just…revive an old gem on Nickelodeon? Or make something new and substantial instead of relying on SpongeBob reruns?

8. Dragon Ball

Yes, another show I like! But MAN! How many power-ups can we go through before it gets old! Even ASH finally reached his goal in pokemon! There’s so much content here, and I’m grateful for that! I don’t mind more games and merchandise, but enough of the show! It’s clear that only Goku and Vegeta are the only characters capable of beating the big enemy, and no one cares much for the younger characters taking over. But at this point their not that interesting. ESPECIALLY Goku. He’s just a guy that likes fighting. Vegeta was more interesting with his reformed villain arc, but he is constantly overshadowed by his dumber super-saiyen. It feels like they’ve exhausted all their stories….

7. Velma

I’m gonna barf. Seriously, all people do is complain about this show. Can we just, STOP? Review bombing it, complaining about it, making reaction videos to it, is just…feeding it at this point. If all of us hate so much! So many shows that deserved to be watched and enjoyed were completely ignored and faded away from the public consciousness, but not this one, at least, not yet. I see video and video about it! Ignore it. Let it die like it’s supposed to! And now I will never mention it again, and neither should you!

6. Marvel

It’s not so much as I want this franchise to die…more like…I think we need a break! It’s been like 20 years of non stop Marvel and I feel like we already peaked with the Avengers Endgame. Besides Moon Knight and Wakanda Forever, all I’ve seen is general dislike of all the new stuff coming out. I know that Disney is a big conglomerate and they’re going to milk this thing for all it’s worth…but wouldn’t people enjoy it more if you let it simmer for a bit, let the ideas come back after some rest, and then get back into it?

5. 13 Reasons Why

This show should have stayed a book! Oh. My. God. As someone that struggles with mental illness, watching this get sensationalized and reduced to nothing more then teenage angst for badly written teenage characters is so gross! I don’t have much to say about it. It just makes me so angry! How do people actually like this and continue to watch and recommend it? It’s basically the same as every other “dramatic” teen show out there, but uses suicide as a hook to draw people in, which is so disrespectful! You want a show that is more mature then this and actually handles mental illness well? Watch BoJack Horseman.

4. Grey’s Anatomy

I don’t care about the relationships in this show. I don’t who broke up with who, who died, who couldn’t have a kid, who cheated on who. I cared more, in the first season at least, when they were just young surgeons, and they were dealing with the struggles of that. BUT MAN! This show quickly became a soap opera! I mean what did I expect from an ABC show. Just end it already! If you want a good show about doctor’s that focuses on their personal growth and the difficulties of the job watch House, or better yet, watch Scrubs.

3. Kingdom Hearts

This hurts. This hurts. So. Much. GOD! I love these games…but I REALLY hate the direction they’re going. KH3 was such a red flag! The story was complicated enough with time travel, the whole foretellers things, how we keep adding characters instead of focusing on the core Destiny Islands Trio, how Kairi is basically a plot device where, EVEN IN HER OWN GAME, she has to be rescued by Sora. And now, KH4 is on its way and Nomura is basically turning it into versus 13….I don’t even know anymore. Things were getting real dumb in Dream Drop Distance. I’m just going to pretend thee series ended at KH2, where the emotions were there and the story wasn’t derailed and removed of all the charm it had…Either end it…or do something actually good with it, because at this point, it’s just getting ridiculous. And this is coming from someone that loves this series with every fiber of their being.

2. Stranger Things

Yeah, Netflix will cancel actually interesting things like Inside Job, Dead End National Park, I’m not okay with this, Sense 8, and introduce stupid ideas such as removing password sharing (EVEN AFTER RAISING THE PRICE BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE PASSWORD SHARING) but they will keep things like Cuties and…this show. At this point, Stranger Things is a shadow of its former self. Not only are there no stakes, because everyone has plot armor, but it’s basically just teenage drama at this point. Remember how in Season 1, the demagorgan was actually scary? Remember how going into the upside down had health consequences? The characters just walk around now without a problem. But this show is just drama filled enough to keep the attention of the masses without actually having any substance. It makes me sad that it followed the pattern of the first season being the most interesting season and then everything going down hill from there. How did THIS show, of all shows…make me not care? What could be worse then this?

Well…

#1. Harry Potter Series

I loved this as a kid. I read this thing so many times…but now…I’m past it, and JK is just. A. Terrible. Terrible. Person…the fact that it doesn’t end with her words, that she actively gives money and supports hate groups, kind ruins the messages I learned in HP. As a kid, I thought part of the point was to be inclusive, and to make life better for people that are mistreated by the mainstream. But no. Not only were the last few movies terrible, but Rowling keeps digging that hole. Even if I wanted to, I just can’t enjoy it anymore. So, even if not everyone will. I’m going to let it die. We need another book series to inspire a generation…I just can’t with this anymore…

#harry potter #jk rowling #stranger things #Alta #avatar the last airbender #dragon ball #kingdom hearts #grey’s anatomy #13 reasons why #marvel #Disney #netflix #velma show #velma #miraculous ladybug #unpopular opinion #unpopular take #so many great shows are cancelled while garbage gets pushed forward #or great shows get beaten down into cash cows…

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kedreeva · 6 months ago

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This is going around right now and I just want to make it clear that the guy had a real job that wasn't selling his pet chickens eggs, he was just mad he couldn't price gouge the locals and he was getting absolutely dragged for it. And rightly so.

Here's why: there's a lot of tags about people who give away eggs or sell eggs cheap and how pretty much everyone who owns chickens has too many eggs and that's because chicken math gets people. A family of 4 that eats an egg-heavy meal 3-4 times a week probably only needs 4 chickens. You get kind of sick of eggs, at that rate, unless you're super into them, Gaston. You can get creative for a while. Add them to things like meatloaf, bake things, egg wash things, etc...

But at some point it's a lot. And most people aren't keeping 4 chickens unless local regulation prevents them from having more. Because chicken math gets them. They get a small coop with a reasonable amount of chickens. Maybe 4-6, maybe they plan to give extras to friends or something.

And then they love it actually. They love having the tiny little fluffballs in a brooder. They love petting the silky adults and watching them scratch around. It's spring and they go to TSC or wherever to get feed and there's peeping chicks and they already have a few what's a few more chickens? 6 chickens plus 4 chickens is basically still 6 chickens anyway and if you're going to get 10 chickens you might as well make it an even dozen.

And then it's 3 years later and they have two dozen chickens in Cluckingham Palace, and it's actually 30 chickens but the babies following mom don't count because one of the "pullet" babies was a rooster so now their chickens make more of themselves every chance they get but there's always a favorite to hang onto, so it will probably be 26 soon, and no one is eating 20+ eggs a day.

And the thing is, you give them to friends and you give them to family and you give them to neighbors and you give them to co-workers if you have them. Maybe you sell some, to cover the cost of feed, and maybe EVENTUALLY you will make back the hundreds you put into the coop and the equipment, if you were thrifty and you're avid about selling. But mostly by the time chicken math gets you, you're doing it for fun and to have fresh eggs from chickens you know are being treated humanely.

And sometimes, if you are also lucky and social, you learn to barter with locals who have other things. Local honey, local meat and milk, local veggies or fruit, local Stuff. This year I traded many dozens of quail eggs for a metal spool I could disassemble and use to hold up netting over my bird pen.

But what you don't do, and what is considered gross by pretty much every other chicken keeper out there, is bitch that you can't collude with all other local backyard chicken keepers in order to price gouge your community together. That's just unilaterally considered being a dickwad.

There's some dude (derogatory) on FB who is PISSED people are pricing their farm fresh eggs at $2 and $3 a dozen instead of $4+, saying it's "disrespectful" and "undignified" and "I'm trying to feed my kids" like Sir, you are on a Facebook group page bitching about your neighbors egg prices because your pet chickens aren't earning you a living wage and you think it's your neighbors' fault, you do not have a leg to stand on here wrt dignity.

Also half the answers are like "I give them to friends and family free" or "I donate them to food banks" or "I'm making them affordable to folks who might not otherwise be able to get them now that they're so expensive in the store" and "if you think you're going to turn a profit keeping backyard chickens you have been wildly misled" and so on, and so forth, and I'm so living for it.

and I can tell you right now, he did NOT like my answer of "if you're trying to feed your kids, I hear eggs are edible."

#chickens #eggs #stories about human beings #chicken math

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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sub!Yuzu | nsfw alphabet

🌹 NOTE ⇢ content for our fave figure skater, the legend himself. mr. yuzuru hanyu is 1000% dom candy and i’m here to honor it at length ⛸

— WORDS. 5k

tags + warnings. dom/sub dynamics, femdom!reader, role reversal hc, smut, kinks, cum play, spanking, sex toys, very freaky yuzu, kitten play, mdlb, crying kink, food play, prostate orgasms, bondage, some deeper stuff & angsty bits, asthma mention, aftercare

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Once the cat ears come off, who is Yuzuru Hanyu not to remain in character for a while. For the shits and giggles, and because it’s cozy. Once a catboy, always a catboy, it’s the law of the land. Curling up, kneading at you for the head pats and massages, you know the programme.

Also: Yuzu is famously soft-spoken and always finds the right thing to say. So, stimulating conversation for the cooldown. This is literally so nice. He’s unafraid to reflect everything in detail, say what he preferred, what you could change up together, what he wants to try next. The afterglow is not just physical, as in you give him something to drink, it’s 70% verbal which is very important to him as a consistent habit.

Of course, not to forget: Always gotta have a Winnie Pooh plushie ready. He embraces it readily and, as we know him, does some roleplay right then and there. Yuzu, professional cutiepie he is, is the kinda sub who treats all plush and pillow stuff as alive and breathing. You as his domme are in on the play and also treat his things as holy as they are to him. That Yuzu lets you into that world is the biggest compliment you can possibly get.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

We all know Yuzu’s godly ass and thighs. Or the staggering waist and beautiful black hair that makes him a total bombshell in his classic comb-back styles. His face is soft and expressive and so damn unique, his legs muscular and long, his back and tummy chiseled, the list goes on and on. Jesus, he has so many great features. All body parts a masterpiece. That are all capable of god-tier contortionism on top of that, gotta mention it in passing. Just so you know if you haven’t seen him bend his every limb into directions you wouldn’t believe are humanly possible.

Interestingly though. If he chooses, Yuzu picks his feet: They are his most important instrument and weak spot. His ankles are where the magic happens. So, you taking care of them a little would mean the world to him, imagine a candle light massage. Not to worry, no-gross-alert. Yuzu has perfect and cute feet. That’s gonna be a Victorian moment, oh my god I saw his ankles. For his partner, short and simple: He likes a shoulder to lean on. He loves being touchy in general, all body parts are amazing to him. Being in a profession that’s all about the physics, Yuzuru knows about the wonders of the body.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Certified king of cumsluts, doesn’t even hesitate. The more, the merrier. If he’s not covered in sticky stuff, Yuzu would be underchallenged. It’s less about the taste, texture or any degradation, for him it’s the playing around with his tongue. Somebody wants his mouth preoccupied. Give the cat his milk. Feed him his own cum mixed with yours. He’s gonna lap at it and swallow.

Since Yuzu’s dream is a mommy domme baking him something, he just loves the smell of dough and hazelnuts and cinnamon and everything — you know what’s coming: Imagine the food play. Nuts indeed. Anything that even remotely looks like a creampie is something he wants to get his lips on. And Yuzu is not the type to be a foodie at all, let that sink in. Sexual-looking food is just too big a temptation, though. And you spoiling him that way... oh my. Surefire way to end up in bed right after.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has a butt plug collection. Once almost went on the ice with one in. The more you know. Also— this guy is the kinda type fantasizing to get absolutely railed on a bed of plushies. He has troubles suggesting it to you because he doesn’t want them to get actually dirty. But the idea gets the two of you kind of horny. Sometimes, a thought is better as a fantasy than actually executing it. You can use it for riling up’s sake, whispering it to him during dirty talk. How you’ll bounce on him and ruin him and milk him while he’s splayed out so innocently on your bed. I smell corruption kink.

Another secret Yuzu keeps is just how much he changed his mind about wanting his partner to control everything in bed. He grew up with a pre-defined ideal type of a cute, nice skater girl who’d let the reins very loosely around him, who he can speak Japanese to because he had problems with English, who is small and someone he will protect. It wasn’t something based on experience and trying things out: It was simply expected of him. People wanted the domineering Yuzuru on ice to be that way in private, and make use of his power, be a man, savior, boss.

The reality being: He never felt truly as tough on the ice, nor was he gender-conforming in person. In fact, that is what he became famous for, and it reassured Yuzuru very often how people would accept and actually celebrate this side of him. Which is so refreshing, and a sight to see. The side that was dorky, clingy, childish, gorgeous, and cute has always been there, but now he embraces it more as his comfort place. He has to know what he’s doing in his skating programme and show competitive spirit to achieve his dreams, but that’s where it stops.

His former ideals are something people wanted to hear, it was an adaptation of the environment rather than thinking it through on his own. So, years later — oh boy have things changed. Yuzuru no longer defines his ideal type that way, saying whoever he likes is someone he’d be with. What was a fantasy template and filter is now gone and adapted to his newfound, own preferences. Yuzu is comfortably open-minded rather than being a copy to mainstream. He found fun in speaking English, opened up to the world at large, had more girls around him who he could befriend, grew more confident in his stature, and is well aware — turns out he’s the cute one. Who needs to be taken under a wing. He likes strong-minded girls and says if he had a wife, she’d dominate him. Yuzuru secretly wants her to be in charge entirely, she owns his body and soul. Not in daily life where things are just normal and everyone goes about their business. Sexually, where he surrenders instead, and is taken care of.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

The tale of an introvert. What he knows — he hides it well. Has eyefucked a whole lot of people and is the type to lust like mad from a far distance, and nobody will ever know. Crushes harder than peppercorns in a mill. If he loves someone, it lingers in his mind every split second of the day, may god have mercy on him. And if you know him: Yuzu aims too high to keep it light and easy and clumsy. He hates being an amateur, he’s terrified of starting out something. He dreads not knowing what to do, how exactly to behave, talk, touch, breathe, respond, negotiate, prepare. That’s a hundred percent like hell to him.

Ironically, he has a natural feeling for it and he’s literally amazing in bed, has a sense for social interaction is all the way cute with something valuable to say. But what he believes is something way different. Yuzuru is a diehard, nervous perfectionist. He can only think of it as a rated performance since his mind usually has to work that way to skate well. His esteem is on a knife edge depending on how well he thinks he does. So, the inevitable: He will shy away from sex altogether. He draws immense skating passion from staying celibate, in fact it’s his success secret, but it still eats him up from the inside and makes him frustrated beyond measure. Not even for the pleasure, since he’s so ambitious that’s almost forgotten about, but for being told he did well.

That’s how much he believes sex is a drill and capability test. And it’s sad that he thinks it’s like his skating career, racking up points for the impossible things judges want and being in a deadlock when it comes to showing his artistic side. He feels thrown into cold water if he doesn’t know everything beforehand. If he ever works up the courage, which probably won’t happen, he will pay an expert to learn from rather than let something all over the place happen with a random person or even someone he might like.

Yes, you heard that right. He’d rather see a sex worker than ‘mess up’ his first time according to his sky-high standards. So, Yuzu’s experience remains limited since he’s so 100% do or die, and so anxious, and so torn about social interaction, he doesn’t get how his peers can be playboys and get married and flirt with someone they like and all that. He sort of has an easier time with guys, but girls... he can’t approach. To top it off, he also feels like he’d burden his first time one somebody or embarrasses himself, so he will reject and avoid suitors. Those are usually not the people he crushes so hard on to begin with. It’s bound to be one-sided and he knows, so he will abstain and focus on career and use the cheers of his fans as a substitute.

Truth is, he feels helpless and distant from sex sometimes, especially with his practice-heavy lifestyle and hyper-smart mind, Yuzuru has an intelligence that exceeds what most people can grasp. He’s alone on the ice and Brian as a coach is often the only reference person who truly gets him, and leads him well without being controlling. But that’s professional life. Sexually, Yuzuru is metaphorically: coachless. He surely observed it well when Javier (the #1 ladies man, his opposite) was still active and a social butterfly helping him fit in, but Yuzu would always be worried about his extreme fame and spotless image when introduced to someone fangirling over him. He’d rather prefer someone who comes across as a mentor and solid, loyal-to-death person to look up to. So he would do anything to have someone benevolent like that. Most girls would expect him to be the sex god and expert, but he knows that’s only half of the story and based on his characters on the ice. Yuzu crafts these to counterbalance how he really is — withdrawn and indirect.

Yuzu is extremely calculating and selective, he scans suitors well, protects his reputation, and is mortified of failure. So, he’d rather learn it by the book and from someone he’s not emotionally attached to. In a one-night stand that might also be the case, but he doesn’t know what to expect, and he’s absolutely terrified of sudden sexual vulnerability. He himself often says he values his own struggle between feeling so weak and being strong again

Besides: He’d have problems squeezing hookups into his schedule and lifestyle, he’d have to cut down on things and create a double life. Plus, Yuzu is famously inept with social interaction up close, he flees the noise and unpredictability. So, it’s better to have a long-term partner. If he doesn’t know something yet, he has it down in one day like the single axel. Definitely counts on his partner teaching him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

We know Yuzu’s signature move is the lean-back Ina Bauer. So, whatever position allows for an arch is the real deal (cough, taking the strap — oh my god his ass is made for it). But anyway, he can pull off anything with that stellar flexibility and core strength.

If I think about it. Yuzu might like sitting on your lap very much. I know it’s not a sex position, I mean it can be once his inner lapdancer awakens or you use a strap-on, I rather mean... just for some sweet moments and making out. But yeah: Fathom Yuzu gyrating on your like that. Not in an outright lascivious manner or Chippendales style. The Hanyu way, with embellishments and all the grace. This is gonna be a huge turn-on and perfect foreplay position.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not much to elaborate here: Yep, Yuzu is true goofball indeed. Really flustered and clumsy when eye-to-eye in missionary, and yet: He’s ultra serious towards the end, there’s gonna be an aggressive staredown before cumming. The feeling gets pretty intense, his duality between silly and ‘yeah, give it to me’ is no joke.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Would probably die from inflammation if he shaved clean under those tight suits and did all these chafe-heavy skating routines. Doesn’t have a lot of body hair to begin with, but for pits and pubes, it’s alive, wild, and decently long. Out of all people, Yuzu cares particularly about aesthetics, but in this case pragmatism will prevail. He doesn’t care too much about it either as long as it doesn’t get in the way of something. Having sex with Yuzu tends to be well um well all about a hundred types of friction so any stubble would be a bad idea.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You haven’t seen a guy in love like that. It’s a figure skater thing for sure. Since he works to portray these sentiments on the ice daily, hardly anybody can play up feelings so delicately and palpably like Yuzuru. Emotion is what his entire career is built on. He knows how to express himself directly, appropriately, intimately. Couldn’t be any more romantic. Yuzu can’t go without it.

Very passionate, ‘for your eyes only’ kind of atmosphere. Yes, he shows off on the ice, it’s his job (although of course, that word doesn’t really sum up what skating means to him). But private Yuzu is someone you can claim as yours. He will make it clear, he wants to belong to you, he’s yours, dedicated, devotion is the entire point. Less with a slant of what some subs like, very hands-on ownership of a mistress. It’s more emotional. He’s really attached and all smitten. Your private little haven is everything to him.

Talking about little: Yuzu can be quite a pillow prince sometimes. At least when the initiative doesn’t go back and forth as it frequently does, you often alternate with suggestions and ways of tweaking an ongoing play session. You blindfold him or tie his wrists, He might be standard tired from practice or just fascinated to watch you work your magic on him.

He also likes music to set the tone for intimacy, who’s surprised. Prepare: Yuzu likes dramatic classical music all the way. He’s probably one of the few people who can make it more than ‘classy’ and definitely more than cringe. He selects pieces very well. This is gonna be a practice template to cum together when the music reaches its peak. Makes the whole thing full of adrenaline.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Lots of fun to him. Would beat it 24/7 if the ice wasn’t calling him. Drowns himself in lube. This guy’s me-time is so rated R, Cardi B would be inspired to remix WAP to wet ass penis as an anthem just for him. A dry dick is a ruined day for Yuzuru, as is a session without teasing his prostate in whatever way he currently fancies. Once he tried it, he never went back. The intensity knocking him out is something that Yuzu thinks about all the time. Strokes like a pro, does all these little moans, can do it forever, loves the feeling, chases the high. Adrenaline junkie on the ice? No different with his hand around his cock.

Will masturbate everywhere in the house and has to really get his head in the game to make sure he won’t ruin any carpets. So, he always has at least two towels with him. In the kitchen, in front of the TV, in the shower, the bed. Watches his fair share of eclectic porn, he gets really desperate. Especially before you started dating, Yuzu would shut himself in until the lotion ran out. Can jack off to something romantic (he starts crying) or something extreme (he loves shocking himself and ).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Very curious about sadomasochism. Googles a lot of things that make him hard during the day. Often jawdropped by his research, but once he tries things out with you, nothing can really shock him anymore. Absolutely wants to be collared, it’s his biggest fantasy. Another little secret he has, Yuzu is decked out in skating gloves, right. He wishes he could feel you wearing them, or he keeps them on for sex himself, the lacey transparent ones. Looks especially pretty when his wrists are tied so, major photograpy material. Oh yes, Yuzu likes the camera, he can work it. The guy is photogenic in any position and can strike any angle you want. Your phone background is a new Yuzu snapshot every week already, imagine your gallery, 5800 kinky pictures.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

I’m gonna say it. The frozen lake out of town, late at night, condoms and lube with you. A quickie that will leave your genitals frozen. Yuzu might get stuck inside you because it’s -15 Celsius. Call that fantasy on ice. Jokes aside: Come on, Yuzu is the biggest ever hermit homebody. The couch will have a bunch of indents after your week-long fucking sessions after he comes home training. Also, at his desk while he does work for university. You ride him, Yuzu studies. Double the ambition. His dick is completely sore. The lake out of town thing might go down, but without sex. Just skating together under the stars, Yuzu doing amazing spins and spirals around you, very very romantic.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Yuzu is a crazed Sagittarius. Have you seen these men? They just want it all. Must be the influence of Jupiter. Zeus was definitely vibing that way. And yes, Yuzu has borderline unhealthy gold medal thinking in bed. He wants to be not just good but damn good with pleasing you. If you don’t have a good time and head home without an orgasm, he’ll consider himself a failure. Yuzu won’t cut himself any slack there. You’d have a hard time changing his ways into something more chill and moderate. Instead, you will see the benefits of rolling with it once you see how improvement fuels him and does make sex really mindblowing.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Couldn’t do things like slapping you, spanking. Yuzu makes for a terrible daddy dom, it’d not suit him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Cum-dripping oral mess, Yuzu is the brave kind. Totally into it, and can’t resist a good blowjob. Will act different afterwards, there’s a lot of erotic tension. “This evening again?” is what those eyes are saying.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Outstanding kinesthetic intelligence. Every inch of his body follows his intent, and yours if you have him take on certain ways of kneeling. Yuzu can do it all, whatever you want. Tantalizing, moderato, overwhelmingly fast. He can take it, he can portray it. And knows the value of a pause like a true connoisseur. Not just when he wants to prevent cumming early, also just because the moment is right. That’s why cockwarming is a staple, as well as you having him wait patiently for kisses. To top it off: If you give him a blowjob, building up the tension by doing nothing is damn effective. The ruined orgasms you’re gonna give him... delicious.

Everything’s gonna have nice transitions as well, no awkward climbing and rolling and tangling limbs. If he gets something from another room that you need, no slouching. The university course as good as the extracurricular activities. Being inconsistent with any subsidiary details? Not in the Hanyu household, he’s keeping it classy. Yuzu feels like if he makes the bridges to new positions even remotely messy, the feeling is killed and it’s as if he’d break character mid-skate. Although he’ll have to practice and refine and test a lot of things because he’s not super experienced and adapting to your own movements is an individualized thing to do, he’s a masterclass of quality, period.

Even when things get fast and heated, nothing feels off. Having that kind of body smartness also means: Yuzu learns by touch, whatever you do. He knows by the way you pull his hair what comes next. How much saliva drips off your tongue when you suck at his neck, he knows how hard you’ll to ravage him in five minutes. This guy observes things you aren’t even conscious of because his physical understanding is just so fine-tuned.

The sense of rhythm, and every skating programme of him will showcase that, unbeatable. Unless his mood is really impacted by something severe, your guy feels it in every bone. He’s an artist, after all, he listens to music all the time. Dissecting rhythms to turn them into movement is what his line of work is all about. The pace will always fit the mood. Everything is precise, but never crude. Instead, the way he moves is dictated by an inherent flow. With little accents that match right with any thrust, like putting his hands on your sides when you’re on top of him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Hit it Shakira: Whenever, wherever! He seemingly carries an entire condom factory with him. Or, to be more exact: At least three of them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

This one’s a complicated case. Yuzu being reckless on the ice may or may not mirror in your private life. He might need some downtime, so bring out the soft domme stuff. No trial and error stuff, just going through a routine of things you love the most. On the other hand, he always gives it all. This guy’s endurance at your hands is amazing. Advanced kinds of BDSM he will not feel deterred from at all. Rough toys, anal hooks, sounding, whips, why not is Yuzu’s motto. But then again. He has such a confusing mix of innocence and feeling like he’s completely hardcore. You might end up experimenting a lot, but also not daring the leap sometimes because the mood is different. And then rather go for softer hours, where Yuzu will be all shy shy and more bursting with excitement than ever. A good, interesting mix is what I’m saying.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Yuzuru, once he gets a bit of practice to gauge the situation... Viagra on two legs, absolute unexpected powerhouse. You might end up pondering to work out a little and go for a run because this guy is in a consistently outstanding shape to say the least. Olympic athletes are literally hard to fuck with. And since Yuzu is starfishing sometimes (which is very adorable), or he’s in bondage for some time, that presents a further problem: For a second round, he’s full of energy, while you already spent energy. So, you alternate with who’s active, and the other leans back entirely. He has to remind himself since his body is programmed for it: This is no contest — the point is feeling good.

You might ride him reverse cowgirl all the way while you watch TV, and after the overstimulation fades he will eat you out ad nauseam, full course slobbering, sweeping the whole menu. That way, it’s less about keeping up with him, which would be hard for most people not doing sports at his galactic level. He understands, Yuzu knows he’s not normal in that regard, you don’t have to worry. Some exercise still doesn’t hurt, just to further increase the quality of sex anyway.

Then again: Why go jogging and do some laps wasting valuable together time when Yuzu’s lap is the best workout? And running doesn’t guarantee your stamina in bed is perfect even if it does help. You rather wanna manage how to draw out the arousal. It’s a self-control thing, with the goal of having you match up in every aspect as good as you can. In which case, you can count on him to pull it off: Have you seen Yuzu doing jumps side by side with a bunch of female skaters? Copy paste. This guy knows how to synchronize with the ladies.

Something that has to be mentioned beside that, though. Yuzu has asthma since 2 years old, and it’s often a mind thing to him still these days. He doesn’t let it stop him from sleeping with you because as always, he’s not letting anything get in his way. He has learned to live and thrive with it. But you both have to mind the possibility of an attack, he prevents it with inhalers, and the mood plays a crucial role. Yuzu being comfortable and confident is so important to his breathing, and keeping a good rhythm rather than being chaotic in bed. So, you will plan most of your sexual activities rather than improvising.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Would stuff an entire sex shop into his every available orifice. Yuzu is a toy freak, he wants to try everything. Motto: a new one every day. Well, almost. But he can afford it. Buys stuff he uses solely on himself, things you use on him, things he uses solo and you use on him, and as the cherry on top, every possible high end vibrator on the market for you. Any size, too. This bitch will browse through the latest innovations, prepare to get off. He’s obsessed with seeing you use it on yourself. Yuzu owns a separate phone just for videos of you buzzing your clit, and him fingering you for minutes and minutes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Extremely so. Loves to be a total brat only to get put into his place. He does it so you’ll pull the chin grab on him. He likes getting choked out as a punishment as well. Yuzu also tends to be very around the corner if you will when it comes to soft subbing, he lays over expecting cuddles but doesn’t say so. Buds his head against your chest, nuzzles, and so on. Lighter forms of teasing come to him very easily. Loves to prompt. Roughhousing, banter, favorite thing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Moderately loud because his voice is very very light, but unsurprisingly — he’s just beautiful. What a nice tone. Gorgeous whimpering sounds. And when you go hard on him, voice cracks! And really heavy breathing. What’s gonna be the most striking though is his expressiveness. We know it from the ice and interviews, and he can really amp it up even further. No need for screaming, that face will speak the volumes.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You’ll be blessed with him if you have a huge crying kink. Yuzu definitely opens the waterworks every other week in bed. Happy tears, horny tears, relief tears, aftercare tears, orgasm tears, masochist tears, romantic tears, subspace tears, he has it all. He also begs for the type of pain that makes it stream down his face for minutes. He’s touchy-feely all the way and feels like he can really connect with you that way.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His ass twitching is kind of a spectacle, but I don’t have to tell you, do I. Yuzu has muscles for the gods in there. So voluptuous, you can’t call it any other way. Big booty boyfriend, Jesus you can show him off, he loves it. Around the house, he will flaunt them big ole athlete buns in particular, acting like it’s unintended. Um, Yuzu, those are joggings. Smack it, he is sure to moan.

And may I respectfully mention as well — this guy has some major big ass balls figuratively and literally. How else would someone be motivated to jump a triple axel like it’s nothing. Not kidding, they’re big and round and ugh. His love for tight pants doesn’t help. He knows what your eyes like and dresses just to flex the goods. Screams for more spanking and pinching if you ask me. Yuzu is definitely serving it. Well-endowed, you lucky girl.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Mega horny, ready when you are. On a scale from zero to hundred? Breaching into the 90 percent right there. Yuzu’s hormones are literally insane. On paper he’s 26, but his dick wants the 18th birthday party. Jesus is he gonna be clingy when he’s in the mood. All wrapped around you in a backhug in the kitchen or when you iron a costume of his, and that’s sexy of him. He’s not gonna hide what’s filling out those sweatpants. He’ll desperately grind up against you like it’s Christmas.

Paired with his puppy eyes and little “Do you have some time... I’ll iron this tomorrow” — instant pounce. He’s admittedly a bit hard to keep up with sometimes, though. The reason: With that level of exercise, he has major pent-up energy. That machine is definitely running. Heavy sports changes your hormones, nervous system, and especially blood flow. Now take that to the scale of his performances and regimens? That equals a firework of horny. No wonder he masturbates all the time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Takes some time. He cools down, sweats it out, chugs water. However, don’t underestimate how tired Yuzu can already be. His daily routines and competitions have a toll on him. Ironically, he’s not a deep sleeper, however. Yuzu might toss and turn and have sudden energy bursts, or ideas, or gets hungry. So, he needs his plushies, he needs a weighted blanket, warm pajamas, a hot cup of his favorite warm drink, a light snack, and you by his side. Spooning him excessively and sometimes even humming to him. Yuzu looks like a certified angel on his pillow, his well-deserved rest from everything is so important, too.

NOTE - hope i could indulge you, thank you for reading!

#yuzuru hanyu #figure skating #yuzuru hanyu smut #yuzuru hanyu smut alphabet #yuzuru hanyu x reader #sub!yuzuru hanyu #sub!yuzu #dom!reader #fs #smut alphabet #smut abc #smut a-z

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binnieboyswhore · 4 years ago

Text

Bunny

Pairing: Changbin x Reader Genre: smut Word count:1,723 Warnings: Pet play (he just calls you bunny nothing more than that), Hickeys and of course Sex Authors note: Sorry this has taken so long to get out, i’ve been trying to write like five things at once and my head gets jumbled. Also sorry if this is trash, i deleted it all and re wrote it idk how many times but i need to put something out.

Please if you are under the age of 18 do not interact. Thank you :)

Normally going with Binnie to music video sets wasn’t that big of a deal as you always made food for the boys and helped waste time with them, today though was different. You set down the food you had brought, the boys thanking you one by one as you find a corner to snuggle into. Your body exhausted from the over stimulation of the night before thanks to Changbin.

Chan passes by you on his way to the food table, “You okay Y/N?”

You open your eyes and smile softly at him, “ya, just extra sleepy today.”

He smiles cutely at you, “okay hold on” he sticks his finger up at you and retreats back to the room he was in returning with a blanket.

“Stay cozy,” he said, laying it on top of you.

You mumble out a soft “thanks Channie” and he pats you on the head and goes to join the other boys.

You lay there eyes closed but unable to fall asleep instead focusing on Changbin theatrically re telling the story of how he had to “save” you from a spider in the bathtub last night. He went on and on about you screaming and how he basically had to wrestle the spider cause it was so big when Han had thrown in “are you sure the spider was big or are you just that small?”

You could hear Binnie grunt at his remark wishing he could smack him in the back of the head but showing restraint. The group went on to discuss other things and go from topic to topic.

What Binnie didn’t mention was how you showed your gratitude towards your hero and how one blowjob accidentally turned into hours of him just obliterating your pussy. Just at the thought of last night, between your legs grew damp and you faintly felt his hand wrapped around your throat. You’re breathing started to become heavy as you tried to think of anything else besides Bins head between your legs. As you squeezed your thighs you felt someone lay on the couch behind you and as you felt the hand that gripped onto you you can’t help but feel a little devastated.

“Wakey, wakey.” The deep Australian voice whispered in your ear.

“What do you want Felix?” You mumble, “I’m trying to take a nap.”

“You’re kidding yourself if you think you actually are, I give it 10 minutes before Jisung and Hyunjin start opera singing for no reason” he giggled. You roll your eyes while turning on your side to face him.

“Why are you so tired anyway? You texted me you were going to bed early.” Felix said repositioning his head on his arm.

“Ya, I was but then ya know Binnie.” You said feeling the heat on your cheeks.

“God you guys are like bunnies, are you ever not doing it?” He rolls his eyes at you.

“Well we’re not right now and we very much could be so be thankful.” You huff at him.

“You’re so gross. Anyways after this we’re all gonna do a movie night at the dorm, do you wanna come?”

You thought about it, go home and sleep or stay around these hooligans and spend time with your boyfriend? “Ya I guess I’ll come but I’m not bringing anything.”

“Great, I already baked some stuff so don’t worry.” He said, his smile growing and roughing up your hair. You “hmph” at him as you try to fix your hair, exposing the hickey right behind your ear.

“You forgot one.” You stare at him in confusion until he pokes it with his finger. Your eyes go wide bringing your hand up to cover it. “Don’t worry stay here and I’ll go grab some green concealer.”

You nod your head in thanks as you sit up covering it with your hair knowing if Minho or Jisung got a glimpse of it they wouldn’t let you or Binnie live it down. Thankfully he hurried back with a small bag and a sponge and got to dotting and blending the make up in.

“Next time, tell him to not be so rough,” Felix said, putting everything away.

“Who says it’s him making it rough?” You smirk at him and he scrunches his nose at you. You can’t help but let out a loud laugh catching everyone’s attention, including the eyes of your boyfriend who was playing some slap game with Jisung.

Binnie, noticing how close you and Felix were came sauntering over, sitting next to you wrapping his arm around your waist, “Secrets don’t make friends.” he said, feeling left out.

“I know they make best friends.” You said kissing his cheek and smiling at him.

“We weren't telling secrets anyway, I was telling her she needs to tell you to stop being so rough with her.” Felix told him matter of factly.

“Hey,” Binnie says, grabbing you under your chin, “if bunny wants it rough bunny gets it rough. I could never say no to this cute face.” he kisses you smiling knowing he’s grossing out Felix.

“Y/n please tell your boyfriend to stop being gross.” Felix says, his nose scrunching once again.

You lean into Binnie resting your head on his shoulder, “Why? Would you tell bunny no?” you tease him pouting your bottom lip.

Felix's cheeks turn bright red at the thought of being there with you and Binnie in a sexual situation. “You guys are no fun.” He says getting up and heading to snuggle with what looks like Han.

You look at Changbin who’s already staring at you, “What?” you question him.

“I just missed you.” He said, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.

“Binnie you literally spent the night at my house and we drove here together. How could you possibly miss me?” You say giggling at him.

He gives you another kiss and grabs your hand, placing it over his crotch, feeling his stiffening cock you open your eyes, “Here?” you asked in a hushed whisper.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.” he says sincerely studying your face.

You start to remember your thoughts before Felix had interrupted them, “Where would we go?” you grab his hand.

He smiles at you grabbing your hand back and dragging you out of their room and down a hallway as he checks every door, you follow holding the blanket Chan gave you close around your shoulders. Every door Changbin had tried had been locked and you were whispering for him to hurry before Chan caught you guys and finally he pulled a door open and not really looking in it he pulled you in closing the door behind him. He laid his lips on you heavily, rubbing his hand all over the wall to find a light switch.

Your hip bumped something and a loud clang happened, you jumped a lightbulb smacking the back of your head. You reach up to turn it on and look to see what has fallen then look around where you are and changbin and you start laughing. Of course the only door that would open would be the janitors closet and on the floor was a mess of brooms and mops.

Changbin had found a table and continued with what he came here to do, you. He grabbed the side of your head capturing your lips in a kiss backing you into said table. Grabbing the back of your thighs and pulling them up for you to jump, he set you top of it, moving his mouth to kiss down your neck.

You reached out to start unbuttoning his shirt when he grabbed your hands chuckling, “We don’t have time for foreplay babe, I’ve gotta be on the floor in like 15 minutes.”

He reaches his hand down between the band of your pants rubbing his fingers on your clit that was very much so still sore from the night before. You let out a moan as his finger gathered your slick from between your folds.

“Geez that fast?” Changbin says smirking

Your cheeks burn a shade of red, “Don’t get shy, I think it’s hot.” He says leaving kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

He quickly uses the slick that he built up on his fingers to cover his cock as a makeshift lube. He lowered your pants just enough to slide himself inside you, wasting no time he grabbed onto the table and started pounding into you causing you to yelp and moan. You could hear every grunt he let out with his lips being right next to your ear, only feeding into the building knot in your stomach. You use your hands to keep yourself stable on the table but with the roughness that Changbin is pounding into you with was making it difficult.

“Binnie, please” you whine, throwing your head back “I need to come.”

He brings his ring clad fingers between the two of you, finding your clit and begins rubbing it in rough circles, trying to milk every nerve in your body for this orgasm. He knows he’s on the brink of achieving it when your walls begin to spasm around him.

“Come on then, come for me bunny.” Binnie whispers to you as his hips snap harder and hand rubs you faster.

You begin to let go and just as your moan slips past your lips the door swings open and Chan barges in, “Bin let’s go- OH MY GOD.” He steps back out of the room as he makes eye contact with you completely ruining your orgasm and making you scream.

You take the blanket and cover yourself with it as you hear more feet come running down the hall.

“Stop, don’t go in there.” You hear Chan say to whoever is approaching.

Binnie looks at you with big eyes trying not to laugh mean while you look like you’re about to cry.

“Is Y/N okay?” You hear Felix's voice question with worry.

“I’m fine,” you yell at him, “Chan just scared me.”

“What’re they doing?” Felix asks Chan.

“What do you think they’re doing?” Chan answers, annoyance very evident in his tone.

“Ugh, are you guys ever not fucking.” Felix yells.

Binnie can’t help but laugh looking at you blush, “I don’t call her bunny for nothing.”

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casp1an-sea · 7 months ago

Note

Yes lots, mostly across my nose and cheeks but also on my arms and legs. Plus I got the beauty mark looking one under my eye

I despise coffee, I hate the taste, I hate the smell. I’ve been able to drink coffee milk that’s like 80 percent milk but that’s it. As for tea I haven’t tried much sense I was little but I rly like Iced Chai Lattes with oat milk (not from Starbucks that shit is gross)

uhhh I can’t remember I was at a birthday party so there was a lot of music and I honestly blanked on every song we listened to

side mostly, back occasionally if I’m doing sleep meditations

many, they’re kinda all scattered around in by bed and then I grab one if it’s near by

I like both it honestly depends on the day. Writing is easier though.

1 or 2 heavy blankets. Super cold nights I’ll get 3

ever changing but rn it’s Lemon Demon and Lil Nas X

10/13

5’2” (and 3 quarters 😒)

light blue

Literally all of my moots (with permission of course) and a few of my IRLs

Driving, Hot surfaces like stoves and toaster ovens, rejection, the dark. Plus basic ones like abandonment and stuff

green

Fall! I like the aesthetics, I love spooky season, and Halloween is my favorite holiday. It’s also my birthday season. Plus right around late October is when the weather starts to get nice down here. Plus if you go up north, the leaves are so pretty!

I do not have any nor do I plan on getting any. I like them and I’m kind of jealous of those who do but I’m honestly just too scared to put permanent ink on my body and I don’t really wanna sit through the pain.

I just have your basic first piercings. Only got them like a year ago. I really love the look of piercings, but similar to tattoos. I’m too scared to get more and after getting these first ones I realized I am definitely way too paranoid about the closing or hurting to ever think of getting any more.

Xen

I have many best friends, Xen is one of them, as well as my IRLs Shiloh, Stirling, Venus, Lee, and Chailyn. And I hope to be besties with my moots as time goes on I’m already really attached to you guys.

reading books

it was actually pretty great. I’ve been having a pretty rough week but I went to a friends birthday party today and it was really fun.

I don’t know I went to bed around 1 woke up around 10:30

hell yeah! I think it started with my enjoyment of Star Wars, and then I legitimately started believing it. There are confirmed microscopic organisms on other planets in my head. Those are aliens there’s no way there aren’t sentient being somewhere out there the universe is too big

two days ago because my sister insulted my comfort show and then my mom said my mental breakdown was holding her hostage and threaten to take my phone away if I kept crying. So I kept crying :)

aesthetic wise it was the 70s but I don’t know, since I got really into Captain America I really like the romanticized 40s aesthetic. Obviously all those decades are kind a messed up and there’s problems and all of them but I’m talking like the clothing and music

2000s kids shows. I mean kids is in the name. I hold on to my childhood a lot and I really like things that give me nostalgia. Since my parents censored a lot of what I watched, I watched kids shows for longer than most kids did so I haven’t grown out of them. A few of them I still genuinely like not just for nostalgia reasons. Like Octonauts and, it really frustrates me and hurts me when people act like that’s a bad thing or it’s cringe. You’re welcome to not like it but I’ve been bullied because of my attachments to these shows all my life I’m an adult now I can watch what I want.

STAR WARS THE COURTSHIP OF PRINCESS LEIA!!!!!! Star Wars fans Please read it 🙏 the Princess and the scoundrel can burn I like LEGENDS! includes the original dathomir and night sisters before they were adapted into canon if your interested in that.

if I’m honest, not great, but I’m not gonna trauma dump more than I already did in public anyway

YES

Getting out of the house, graduating from high school

getting a significant other, hopefully. Getting a lead role in a play hopefully

road trip across the states with all my besties

closed. I hate open doors in general

I say it’s a white rose, which I do really like but I’m honestly just too lazy to look through a whole bunch of flowers and decide which one is really my favorite

no but I have a platonic partner though, so if you count them then yes

not really it sounds like an old lady. But I also don’t wanna change it for some unknown reason

Cats. I have two little precious babies and dogs sometimes scare me getting more used to them

Phobia of driving a car (couldn’t find an official name. That was just about cars), nyctophobia (fear of the dark)

Every night

I like the beach, but I hate sand. It’s course and rough and irritating and it gets.

Octonauts, Clone Wars, Bad Batch, Star Wars Rebels, and AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!!!

I can’t pick five. I’d have to tag all my moots, so just pretend I’m doing that

I have a younger sister

my friend Caleb who was drunk at my friends birthday party, and literally telling that to everyone

realistically I don’t know I’ve never been faced with that problem. Unrealistically all of my friends, and all of my fictional favs

someone to talk to

Yeah, I feel like everyone should

All my IRL besties Yes that includes you Xen🫶

My IRL shiloh saying “that seems cool ngl”

Star Wars, No doubt

@fryofthefrench here’s the answers you wanted

Do you have freckles?

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

What was the last song you listened to?

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

What’s your favorite band/artist?

When is your birthday?

How tall are you?

What color are your eyes?

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

Fears?

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your favorite season?

Want any tattoos? What of?

Want any piercings? Where?

Who is the last person you texted?

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

What/who do you miss?

How was your day today?

How much sleep did you get last night?

Do you believe in aliens?

When was the last time you cried? Why?

What’s your favorite decade?

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

How are you, really?

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

What’s your favorite flower?

Do you currently have a squish?

Do you like your middle name?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Do you have any phobias?

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

What’s your favorite cartoon?

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many?

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Is there anyone you would die for?

What do you need when you’re sad?

Have you memorized your phone number?

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

What does your last text say?

Most impactful peice of media on you?

Gonna try answering this in reblogs because I keep getting errors when I try to post it

#Edxiety bear <3

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p-artsypants · 4 years ago

Text

I’ll Handle This (13)

In Which There’s Cheese

Ao3 | FF.net

Trigger or Squick warning: Man has done some messed up stuff in the pursuit of perfect cheese. And what is cheese but moldy, rotten milk? This chapter contains some very foul and nasty descriptions of actual cheese that people eat. So if eating rotting food makes you uncomfortable, best skip to the end of this chapter.

(Spoiler: Plagg gives Lila really gross cheese. She eats it, and has to run out of the room to vomit.)

“—so the best way to level up is to get a skill up to 100, and then legendary it back down to 15, so then you can use the skill perks on another ability that’s harder to level up. That’s where I’m at right now. I’m on level 106 and trying to fill up all my skill trees by using smithing, speech, enchanting, lock picking, and blocking.”

Day three of Lila’s torment, and there was presumably no end in sight.

Had she known from the beginning that Adrien Agreste was this big of a nerd and completely socially inept, she wouldn’t have talked to him at all.

Funny how people looked less attractive the more annoying they got.

And she had tried. She had sincerely tried to get him to shut up. She told him, “I’m sorry Adrien, I’m just not that interested in this video game.”

“Well, you’ve just never played it before! You should come over this weekend—no, actually, I think we should go to your place. When you aren’t grounded anymore. Your mom seemed to really like me!”

Of course she did. Her mother likes anyone who’s a ‘good influence’ on her precious baby. And nothing like Paris’ golden boy to fill that bubble.

Her mom probably preferred that Adrien was so naïve and oblivious.

The bell rang for lunch, and Lila was up and out of her seat without another word. She was tired of the games. Skyrim, Magic: The Gathering, and trying to salvage a friendship with the dumb blond. But Adrien usually ate lunch at home or with Marinette, at least he had been, so lunch was her time to recharge! She’d take her place in the throne room that was the cafeteria and have everyone’s attention. With an hour of that, she could certainly put up with whatever Adrien had to tell her the next half of the day.

In the cafeteria, most seats were taken. The two open seats were at a table with Alya, Nino, and Marinette. Of course Lila wasn’t thrilled with Marinette, but she’d leave eventually, and someone else would hear her tales and come to sit with them.

“Hey guys! Do you mind if I sit with you?” Lila smiled, all friendly-like.

“Not at all, Lila, take a seat!” Alya welcomed.

Marinette and Nino kept their poker faces as she sat down.

“So Alya, I had this amazing idea for an article for the Ladyblog, and I bet I could get some quotes from Ladybug for it too.”

“Or really?” Alya squealed. “That would be amazing! So what’s the idea?”

“Basically—“

“WHO WANTS SOME CHEESE?!” Plagg sang as he took his spot in the last remaining seat, right next to Lila.

She wanted to die.

“Cheese?” Said Nino, intrigued.

“Yeah! I have been dying to give you guys a cheese tasting, and wouldn’t you know it? All my best buds are all together! So it’s perfect!”

Lila cautiously relaxed. Cheese tastings were just as fancy as wine tastings. Maybe this would be a break and a peek into Adrien’s refinement. She could handle this.

“Okay, so for you three,” Plagg gestured to Nino, Alya, and Marinette, “I have some more...beginner cheeses. They’re still extremely tasty, but more mild for a less refined palette.”

“You calling me unrefined?” Nino glared.

“I see what you eat. And yes.”

“Touché.”

“And for you, Lila, you mentioned that two weeks ago, you had dinner with Wolfgang Puck himself. I assumed you could handle more advanced cheeses.”

Advanced cheeses? “Oh, well, yes of course. I’ve done a few cheese tastings before. Maybe not with the same quality of cheeses as you have...”

“Then this will be a walk in the park.” He unzipped the lunchbox he had brought with him, and handed out three orange cubes to the ‘beginners’. “Alright, so first, we have a whiskey cheddar. Whiskey is fermented in oak barrels that can only be used once. So they’re sold to beer, coffee, and cheese makers. The cheese is stored in the barrels and the remnants of the whiskey seep in and give it almost a spicy flavor.”

They all took a bite, chewing thoughtfully, humming in content.

“Oh wow, I think I can taste the whiskey! That’s really good!”

“I’d put this on crackers and eat a whole box! This is really good!”

“I’m not a huge fan of cheddar,” stated Marinette, “but maybe I just haven’t been trying the right stuff, because this is awesome!”

“I’m glad you like it!” Plagg beamed. “And for Lila,” he opened a container and a smell emanated immediately. It smelled like rotten armpit. “This is finely aged Limburger, aged to three months. It’s imperative that you take in the scent of the cheese first, before eating it. Don’t waft it, just breathe it in.”

Lila took the offered container, sparing it a withering glance before she inhaled.

If her face could have melted off, it would have.

“It…smells like rotten feet.”

“Ah yes, Brevibacterium linens. This is a smear-washed cheese that gets a fresh coating of bacteria that prevents mold and helps the maturing process. As a food connoisseur, you’re getting the peak time of maturity. I usually let it mature longer than this still, so it gets really runny, like camembert~…” At the very name, Plagg moaned in a way that was inappropriate for young ears. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I got swept away in the moment. Oh right! Limburger, you eat it with your nose. Take another whiff!”

“I’m good.”

“Another whiff I say!”

Lila inhaled, and her whole body shuddered.

“Perfect. Now you can eat it.”

She popped the sample in her mouth, and swallowed quickly, shuddering the whole time.

“Good?”

“Hmm mmm…”

“Oh! I forgot to mention, the bacteria that that cheese is smeared with is the same that grows on your feet, that’s what makes the cheese stink!”

Lila made a face of disgust and turned a little green.

“Great! Round two!” He placed little samples in front of the other three first. “Okay, so this is a little more advanced. This is scamorza, which is much like Mozzarella, but it has a distinct smokey flavor. I think it tastes kind of like wood fired pizza.”

“It does!” Nino cried, savoring each little nibble. “Oh my god this is so good!”

Alya took a bit of tomato out of her sandwich and ate that with the cheese. “Oh, that is just like wood fired pizza. I’d love to try this warm! You have to get more of this!”

Plagg grinned. “And you, Marinette?”

Marinette was still chewing, and just nodded with closed eyes and a contented sigh.

“Awesome! I personally think scamorza is too mild, but it’s still very good. So for Lila I have another advanced taste.” He took out another sealed container and popped the lid. The smell wasn’t as brutal as the Limburger, but it was still potent. “This is Casu Marzu, a Sardinian delicacy. So it should sound familiar to you, since you’re from Italy and all. It’s made from sheep’s milk. Oh! And it’s illegal, so this sample is from a ‘friend’ who will not be named.”

Lila held the container a little away from her face and peered at it with hesitation. Her lip curled up in disgust, before she gave Plagg an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Adrien. It looks like this cheese has gone bad.” And she pushed the container back towards him.

He looked in it. “It looks fine to me. They’re alive. That’s a good thing.”

“Adrien, those are maggots.”

“Cheese fly maggots, to be exact,” he corrected. “They’re introduced to the cheese to help break down the fat in the milk.” He pushed the container back in front of her. “I mean, it’s not any more gross than escargot, or caviar, or grasshopper, or tequila worms, you know?”

She looked back at the worms, her lip trembling. “This is a delicacy?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t bring bad cheese in for a laugh.” He took out a spoon and scooped out a little cheese, worms and all, and spread it on a piece of flatbread. Then he ate it. “Ohhh that’s good!”

“I…” She cast one more look at the container and confessed, “I’m sorry Adrien. I just can’t do it. It’s too gross for me.”

“Oh,” said Plagg, with genuine sadness in his voice. “Okay I guess...anyone else want to try?”

Marinette, who was always looking for a chance to show up Lila, offered up, “I’ll give it a try.”

Plagg’s eyes widened with glee. “You will?!”

“Sure. Even if it’s gross, I can say I tried it. Not everyday you get to eat illegal cheese. And you ate some, afterall.”

“Yes! I promise it’ll be worth it! You just have to thoroughly chew it to kill the maggots.”

Marinette scrunched up her nose. “Can I...kind of eat around the worms?”

“You can try.”

So to Marinette’s credit, she did eat some of the cheese, though it was picked through, and she scraped what she could off with a knife. Then she spread a little on a larger piece of bread, more bread than cheese obviously, then chewed her sample thoroughly.

“Well?” Asked Plagg, bouncing in his seat. “I think it’s kind of like Camembert and Gorgonzola had a baby. A rotten, decaying baby.”

“Mmm hmmm.” Marinette nodded, her lips shut tight. Once she swallowed, she downed a huge swig of her water, swishing around in her mouth first.

“That bad, huh?” Asked Alya.

“No no, it actually tasted really really good. And I couldn’t feel the worms or anything. I just couldn’t get over the idea that they were there. You know?”

“It’s scary!” Plagg assured. “I know it freaked me out when I was a kid, but if it wasn’t worth it, they wouldn’t make it!”

“You’re wicked brave, Marinette.” Nino patted her on the back.

She chuckled. “Alright. Do you have any more samples so I can cleanse my palette?”

“Oh yep! Last round!” He set out three more samples. “So this is Cantal. It’s from Cantal, France, obviously. And it’s often thought of as a dessert cheese, as it’s got a sort of spicy sweet taste, or like hazelnuts. Oh, and you’ll want to eat it with these apple slices. This is a young wheel, only two months old.”

Contented hums filled the air as the three munched on the sweet, buttery, fruity delight.

Plagg felt extremely pleased that he convinced Adrien’s friends to eat cheese. And he was especially proud of Marinette for eating the best, most amazing cheese of all time. If casu marzu wasn’t an absolute pain to get ahold of, and if it were more portable, he’d demand Adrien to get him that instead of Camembert.

But, as it was, they had to go with more convenient cheeses.

“I think I’m all cheesed out...” said Lila.

“Dude, you only actually had one sample. You can’t bow out now!”

At this point, especially after the maggots, a small crowd had assembled around the table to observe the tasting. And if anyone would cave under peer pressure, it was Lila.

“Well, I suppose I could try one more...”

“Perfect! Because this last sample is really special!” He placed the little white flecked square in front of her. “This is my take on pepper jack cheese.”

“Wait, you made this?” She asked.

“Yep! I figured that if I love eating cheese so much, I should make my own!”

“So what’s it made of?” Lila asked, hesitant.

“You have to guess! I want to see if you can guess the milk and the pepper. It’s part cow milk, obviously, but I wanted a different flavor that you don’t get with most semi hard cheeses.”

“And there’s no bugs in it?”

Plagg laughed. “Nope, no bugs!”

Feeling a bit better, Lila brought the sample up to her mouth. The smell was subtle, a little spicy, a little milky. Not at all like the last two.

She bit the sample in half, and chewed thoughtfully. “It’s...kind of sweet...but the spice is...” she blinked a few times, her face turning red and eyes watering. “It’s hot. It’s really hot!” She ate the other half, and then regretted it. “Ugh! I shouldn’t have done that!” She swallowed and downed her little carton of milk, but the heat wouldn’t leave. It kept getting worse and worse!

“What did you put in there?! What was that?!”

Plagg looked confused. “It’s really that spicy?”

“My mouth hurts!! It hurts to talk!”

“All it is is Carolina Reaper and Breast Milk.”

Lila was up and out like a bolt, running to the bathroom to hurl.

Marinette likewise, had to leave the room, as her uproarious laughing at Lila’s suffering would have looked really bad.

—

(If you were looking for the cheese free section of the chapter, this is it!)

Lila didn’t return to class immediately. In fact, it was two periods later when she finally returned. Her face was flushed and her eyes bloodshot, and she had a wet spot on her shirt. Before everyone settled in, she claimed Adrien’s old seat, right up front.

“Sorry,” she croaked, her voice hoarse after retching so much. “Vomiting usually exacerbates my tinnitus. I hope you don’t mind if I sit up front, Adrien.”

Nino answered, “oh dude, you can have my spot. That way you and Adrien can still sit together!”

Lila’s eyes widened slightly in horror, but before she could protest, Alya slid into the spare seat. She was unfortunately not in on the plan, and was picking up all the blatant body language Plagg was ignoring. “I think Lila needs a little girl time, after her rough lunchtime experience.”

Marinette silently scooted over into Alya’s spot, so that Plagg could sit right behind Lila. It wasn’t ideal, but it would work. Nino gave them both a silent thumbs up and took the open spot in the back of the room.

Lila let out a sigh of relief.

“You okay, girl?” Alya asked.

“Yeah.” She said shortly. Lila was done with the day. She would have gone home if she thought her mom would believe the cheese story, but as it was, she was already in hot water. She just needed to make it through the last two periods, and she’d be okay. Maybe she could convince her mom that she was sick and stay home tomorrow? I would be worth a try. She just needed some time away from Adrien. He was much too much.

As if reading her mind, Plagg leaned forward in his seat and spoke softly to her. “So I wanted to tell you about Stalhrim. It’s a material they added in the DLC, and you can learn how to craft with it, but it’s triggered by a quest. The first time I played the game, the person who was supposed to give the quest was killed by a lurker. Hold on, let me backup, so there are these huge monoliths call Standing Stones, and they all give you special abilities, like the Steed Stone let’s you carry things and the Apprentice Stone lets you learn magic quicker—“

As he talked, Lila’s fingers curled into the surface of the desk. His words didn’t even make any sense anymore, it was just this droning sound that wouldn’t stop.

“So in the DLC, the stones are totally different, right? And there’s this bad dude named Miraack and he’s also a Dragonborn. You remember what a Dragonborn is, right? Except this one is bad and he’s brainwashing the people on the island of Solstheim. Oh right, the whole DLC takes place on a separate island—“

The whole two weeks had been a camel. And each little rant or pushed boundary Adrien forced was another piece of straw piling up. Just then, it was like that fragile spine snapped, and something in Lila went from ‘playing the long game’ to ‘MURDER’.

“SHUT UP!” Lila screamed, pounding her fists on the table. “OH MY GOD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!” She stood and whirled around to glare at him. “Adrien, you are the single most obnoxious person I have ever met! You just don’t know when to shut up! Are you dense? Are you retarded? How can you not see that I literally cannot give a flying eff about anything you say?! I was trying to be your friend because I thought it would be an easy way to fame. Then I felt sorry for you because of how awkward you are. Now? It’s not worth it. It’s not worth pretending to think you’re interesting when you aren’t. It’s not worth trying to ease back and deal with everyone wondering what happened. Everyone in class would wonder why we weren’t talking anymore, and I’d have to come up with more lies to get away from you, and I just don’t want to deal with that! You’re not worth it, okay? You are so selfish and annoying! Is this why your dad kept you home schooled all your life? Because he needs to lock you right back up! You are a menace!” She swung back around for a moment to gather her belongings. “I can’t even be in the same room as you anymore. I’m so done with you and your stupid rants about stupid video games! And what kind of weirdo is that obsessed with cheese?! You ate maggots for Christ sake! You’re disgusting! If you weren’t attractive, I bet your father would have regretted having you, if he hasn’t already!” She moved to the door quickly. “I’m asking to change classes, effective immediately. I suggest everyone run while you still can!” Then she caught Marinette’s eye. “Listen, I dislike you almost as much as him, but you don’t want him, Marinette. He’s an absolute freak. Look at him! He’s wearing that stupid ramen themed sweat suit! You know what? Forget it! I’m out!” And she left, slamming the door behind her.

No one had the nerve to speak after she left. It was just too big of a can of worms, no one wanted to open it.

The silence was broken by a high pitched whine, followed by a sob.

Though Marinette knew it was Plagg faking it, the sight of tears on Adrien’s face made her heart hurt.

“Oh Adrien...”

“You still like me, right Marinette?” He blubbered.

She hugged him. “Of course, Adrien. I love you.”

That seemed to be the words to break the spell and the classmates descended on him like vultures.

“You’re not annoying, Adrien!” Someone protested.

“You’re the coolest!”

“I love talking video games with you!”

“That cheese testing was really fun!”

“Who cares if you struggle with social cues? We all do! You do better than most, even for being homeschooled!”

“Lila admitted she was in the friendship for fame, her opinion doesn’t matter!”

Marinette whispered in his ear. “Nicely done, but I was not expecting that blow up.”

“Thanks, I was hoping she’d crack soon. That was just as violent as I had expected of her.”

“You okay? Those look like genuine tears.”

Plagg wiped his face as the rest of the class started to back off. “I’m okay,” he whispered. “Just hurts to hear someone be so cruel to my kitten.”

He glanced at the ring, hoping to see the final pad gone, and the one minute wait to switch back initiated.

But alas, no. The third pad was still there.

Lila wasn’t finished yet.

#miraculous ladybug #I'll handle this #fanfiction #adrien and plagg #plagg #adrien agreste #adrienette #ml #chat noir

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autumnsart22 · 4 years ago

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Oikawa x reader ch. 10

Hey! I hope you all are still enjoying the story. I know it’s long, I’m just having so much fun writing it. Don’t worry, it’s definitely more than halfway done. Let me know if you’re still liking it or if I should cut back on how long it is lmao

A week later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi invited me over to Iwa’s house, where they were having an alien movie marathon. All of Saturday afternoon, I worked on homework and my art (which was slowly improving as I practiced), and when 4 o’clock rolled around, I packed up a sleepover bag. I told my mom I was staying over at Kiyoko’s house, not wanting to have to explain why I was sleeping over with two boys.

The drive to Iwa’s was less than three minutes, and I arrived right as Oikawa’s car parked at the curb. He waved as I stopped my car across the street, and I smiled as I opened the door and jogged over to him.

“Hey chibi-chan, how are you?” He grinned.

I smiled widely up at his, (fucking attractive ass face that makes me drool and melt everytime that he looked at me. His hazel brown eyes made my body feel like jello whenever he looked at me, and his soft brown hair made me want to run my fingers through it. His smile shone and made my heart stop, my breathing hitched and I made a guttural noise in my throat. My breathing was so hard and uneven that I probably needed a ventilator. Damn that man was too fine to be allowed to walk freely.) LMAO, prime content my friend wrote and I decided to keep it in 😂

I smiled widely up at him, hefting my sleepover bag on my shoulder. “I’m great! How about you, Oikawa-chan?”

“Oh uh-” His voice cracked a little and he blushed. “I’m doing good. Why are you in such a good mood?”

I shrugged, heading up the path towards Iwa’s door. “I don’t know. I just feel really happy to be able to hang out with you guys today.”

Oikawa followed me up to the house, and Iwaizumi opened the door after only a few knocks.

“Hey guys. My parents aren’t here tonight, so we have the place to ourselves.”

Seijoh’s ace had been in the middle of heating up noodles, so we followed his example, setting our stuff down and meeting him in the kitchen. Iwaizumi had his speaker set up, and he was playing a rap song called “How you Feel?” by DJ Scheme, Lil Yachty, Danny Towers, and Ski Mask the Slump God.

Iwaizumi sang Ski Mask’s part and Oikawa took Danny Towers, deepening his voice to match the pitch of the song. I covered my mouth so hard I started turning red, trying not to laugh at their terrible attempts.

“What Y/n-chan?” Oikawa made a pouty expression, and I laughed in his face.

“Singing is not the move for you, Oikawa-san. You should stick to volleyball.”

“Hey!”

After we all ate our noodles, Iwaizumi and Oikawa raided the closet and dumped a shit ton of pillows, cushions, and blankets in the living room in front of the TV.

“Pillow fort!” I yelled, leaping on the pile with a whoop. Iwaizumi refused to participate, more happy laying on the couch while Oikawa and I created a massive and complicated fort built around the television.

“We finished!” I pumped my fists, surveying the cushioned palace. I hadn’t made something like this since I was five, and I felt more satisfied and excited than was probably normal for an eighteen year old.

Oikawa emerged from the kitchen with a loaf of milk bread he somehow found in Iwa’s pantry, and tossed it violently onto the couch. Before I could turn to look at him, he charged and tackled me onto the pillows, completely crushing our fort.

I shrieked loudly, but as we fell, he wrapped me in a protective cage of his arms and the pillows cushioned our fall.

“What the fuck Oikawa?” I cursed, gasping.

He smirked down at me, his face only inches away. “Sorry, the opportunity was perfect.”

I struggled, trying to get him off me, but my arms were pinned and his body crushed the air from my lungs. “Get off!”

“Hm, nope, I’m pretty comfortable,” he mumbled, arms wrapping tighter around me as he snuggled his head into my chest.

I turned to look at Iwaizumi, who shrugged and went back to looking at his phone. I wasn’t going to get any help from him there.

“Oikawaaaaa….” I groaned. “If you don’t get up, we won’t be able to watch!”

I hoped the threat of taking away the opportunity to watch “Arrival” would be enough incentive to get him off me. Oikawa had an obsession with aliens, more than anyone I had ever met. Obviously, it didn't even come close to his obsession with volleyball, but he still could list most of the UFO sightings on record and give a full rundown of them. He also had seen basically every alien movie in existence, and taken a few astronomy classes at the local junior college to learn more about space.

Most of the guys on the team found it completely hilarious and/or annoying, calling him a fucking nerd whenever he brought it up. I thought it was adorable, and I loved hearing him talk about it. He just got so excited and genuine, more than I ever saw him. Usually, he put up a fake mask around other people, which slipped up even around his friends sometimes. But when it came to something he truly loved, there was no hiding how animated he got.

As I had hoped, Oikawa groaned and rolled off me, allowing me to struggle to a seated position.

“Iwa, did you rent the movie?”

Iwaizumi nodded, tossing his phone aside and grabbing the remote. Oikawa and I jumped onto the couch, and I ended up squeezed in between the two boys even though there was plenty of room to spread out. I was comfortable though, so I didn’t complain.

The movie started, and I shifted my legs so they were laying across Oikawa’s lap, leaning my head on Iwa’s shoulder. Oikawa tore open the wrapping of the milk bread, passing me a large piece and stuffing a bite in his mouth. It was delicious, as usual, and I continued to munch on it as the movie started.

The movie was amazing, way better than I expected. It wasn’t a basic pop culture alien movie like most of the genre I had seen, and was much more ominous and realistic. Halfway through, I glanced over at Oikawa to see him leaning forward, eyes bright as he stared at the screen. I felt my chest squeeze, happy to see him happy.

There was a major twist at the end, making Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and I all lose our shit, and it took five minutes to calm our captain down.

“That was so good!” Oikawa said, practically bouncing off the walls. I laughed and looked at the clock. It was 11pm, but it was also a Saturday, so there was no need to go to sleep any time soon. Oikawa clearly had way too much energy anyway, so I poked Iwaizumi.

“What should we do now?”

Iwaizumi chuckled darkly, a creepy smile on his face. “One second, lemme just grab something.”

As we waited for Iwa to come back, I tore off pieces of milk bread and threw them into Oikawa’s mouth. My throwing skills were terrible, but he still ended up catching most of them due to his excellent reflexes.

I threw another right as Iwaizumi emerged from his room and smacked the bread out of the air. Oikawa let out an outraged yell at the lost bread, but Iwaizumi ignored him.

Coming over to sit beside me, he handed me what he had gone to get from his room. It was a magazine, Monthly Volleyball, dated from a month ago.

“What is this?” I asked, and Iwaizumi flipped through the pages, snickering under his breath.

Oikawa came over, looking down at the magazine before practically choking. “Iwa-chan, you--!”

We stopped at a page, and I let out a surprised laugh as I noticed Oikawa’s picture taking up half the page. The setter tried to snatch the magazine from me, but Iwa jumped over me and tackled him.

“Tooru Oikawa’s favorite food is milk bread,” I read, giggling and covering my mouth.

“If you’re trying to embarrass me, Iwa, it’s not going to work,” Oikawa declared, crossing his arms, but his cheeks were tinted slightly red.

I kept reading. “His personal motto is: if you’re going to hit it, hit it until it breaks? Wait, what does that even mean?”

Iwaizumi snickered, and I was practically wheezing from laughter.

I glanced up at Oikawa, only to find him smirking, eyes dark. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Oh, gross,” Iwaizumi snapped, and I felt my cheeks redden. I tried to laugh it off, but it came out a little breathless, and Oikawa looked triumphant.

Later that night, we set up the beds in the living room. I was on the couch, while Iwaizumi and Oikawa slept on the floor in sleeping bags.

It was almost 3am, and I was exhausted, so the second I curled up on the couch, I was asleep. As I drifted off, I felt a gentle hand running through my hair, and low voices murmuring to each other, but I fell asleep before I could figure out what they were saying.

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

#oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa torū #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu oikawa #haikyū!!#fandom #fanfic #oikawa fanart #fanfiction

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kn1feinthec0ffee · 5 years ago

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quarantine with the ferns!! - hc

warnings: none

notes: i really miss these boys 🥺😔

i just wanna preface this with: please please stay in quarantine! there’s people in my state that are protesting in large crowds, without wearing masks and gloves and definitely aren’t social distancing, and stuff like that doesn’t help to flatten the curve. just please stay inside, and if you have to go out, please wear the proper protection and stay at a safe distance from anyone else, okay? by doing that, you’re helping more people than you know.

stay safe you guys, i love you. ♥️

*******

jim mason

sweetie baby oh my goodness

poor jimmy’s just like a lil puppy

he jus wants to go outside and go surfing

you don’t even underSTAND

this boy loooooooooonnnnngggssss to go down to the beach

but the beach is...😔😪🥺 closed.

but that doesn’t stop him from dragging you down there with him even just to hang out for a lil bit

you bring a floaty raft thing and just go down in shorts and a tank top, since you don’t even anticipate getting wet

but jimmy treks down there in some trunks ready to go for a lil swim

and while you’re minding your own business, sunning on the raft, he swims underneath you and FLIPS YOU OVER

you def come up spitting out salt water and trying to clear your nose and ears so you can CHASE HIS ASS BACK UP THE HILL.

this is the inciting incident for one of the most dangerous things that could possibly happen during quarantine,, a prank war.

he goes back down to the shore while you’re asleep and fills up a whole BUCKET. with sand and water and ever so carefully positions it on top of your bedroom door

of course he’s mindful not to get you after you’ve just showered because that would be mean, and jim is a lot of things, but he’s not a MEANIE.

“you’re cleaning this up, mason.”

“already on it, l/n.”

so to get him back for that, you pour the milk and orange juice out of their respective containers and switch them on him

so he ends up taking a big bite of froot loops with orange juice, and washing that grossness down with a big gulp of milk

which you got on video of course

“come on, y/n, you can go deeper than that.”

spoiler: you can’t.

you can’t find it in yourself to do anything that might possibly hurt your baby or make him upset with you

except when you suddenly find enough courage to switch his shampoo for hair dye

which ends up working in his favor bc he totally LOVES IT.

“come on, i can work green. don’t you think?”

this ends up starting an impromptu fashion show

but who’s complaining? 🥰🥰

michael langdon

let’s be honest here: this boy?

he was PREPARED.

but not as much as he thought he was

like spending weeks trapped indoors with his baby? what could go wrong?

a LOT OF THINGS

he underestimated how quickly he would get bored

he is literally willing to do ANYTHING as long as it’s a modicum of entertainment.

he sees you playing minecraft one time and he is so instantly invested

“hey y/n, what’s that?”

“it’s minecraft, you have to build a house to survive and you can play all kinds of games with other people.”

“can... can i try? 🥺”

in literal,,,, seconds he’s built a massive mansion

of course he cheats to get so much wood, but he doesn’t use commands or codes or anything

he just stares at the screen and then SUDDENLY his inventory is full of wood

✨💕antichrist tingz💕✨

but he gets bored of that pretty quickly

bc lets be real,, he has the attention span of a 5 YEAR OLD.

so he turns to the next best thing

which, logically, is of course:

sex. literally marathon sex on every surface imaginable.

he even does this thing where he takes you on the coffee table in front of the other outpost residents, but he makes it so they can’t see either of you

also the breeding link jumps OUT ON THIS ONE, but we’re not gonna talk about that.

basically, you have to come up with manymanymanymany activities so this man baby doesn’t get bored

duncan shepherd

oh boy

quarantine with mr shepherd doesn’t start off so well

he’s SO absorbed in his work, he doesn’t spend a lot of time with you.

but that changes quickly once he sees the toll this is taking on you

you try and pretend he isn’t instantly forgiven because his puppy dog eyes are just soooooo cute 🥺🥺

hear me out: this man goes on a whole shopping spree for you, without your knowledge

literally everything: makeup, lingerie, new clothes

and he has you model them for him, hooting and clapping like an audience member and making you blush every time you struck a pose

mr shepherd turns into the perfect housewife™️ and is always cooking huge, delicious meals and keeping the house clean for you

he’s a little ashamed to admit he took advantage of you always doing these tasks when he didn’t know how long it took to do them all the time

he’s come to appreciate you even more than he used to

he may be into more proper, sit down meals, but i’m not saying he wouldn’t be down to snack a lot too

there are definitely lazy days in bed where you two just loaf about, leaving the bed as little as possible

there are also entire days where you do something else in bed if you know what i mean

i’ll see myself out

xavier plympton

uh oh

this boy is NOT accustomed to staying in one place for long periods of time

so he doesn’t!

you guys end up taking the vanta-c out for long drives

usually parking somewhere near a pier or something for a nice view

yes, i did get a little cheesy there, thanks for noticing

like i said, he’s not really used to being stuck inside for so long, so you have to come up with inventive things to pass the time

he definitely has a bunch of aerobics lesson tapes sitting around

he begs you to do it with him, and who could say no to that face?

you do it for a while but it gets exhausting pretty quickly since you don’t do it as often as he does

oh, your muscles are sore?

xavier gives AMAZING massages, change my mind.

like absolutely magical.

he loved to take your shirt off, sit on the back of your legs, and rub your back while slowly letting his hands float to your front 👀

and did i mention his sex drive?

this man is literally insatiable!

this idiot will go out for groceries and probably come back with like,, a copy of kama sutra or something

he wants to try every! position! in the book!

even the really awkward ones that you can’t quite figure out

“xav, it says i have to put my leg over here.”

“and what?”

“i don’t bend that way, that’s what!”

sometimes he just gives up and you ride him or something lol

but overall, he’s very fun to be quarantined with, even though he complains a lot about having nothing to do

*****************

tags: @emmyrosee @babyboy-cody @moonanonwriting @sojournmichael @leatherduncan @langdondelrey @mxnstersarehuman

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dumbbitchenergy17 · 4 years ago

Text

Extra Part 10

U.A. a school for students to learn how to become the best Pro-Hero. When young Y/n Midoriya returns from her traveling to be accepted through recommendation. What awaits her when she meet the explosive blonde Katsuki Bakugo

Words- 4471

Katsuki Bakugo x Midoriya!Reader, Izuku Midoriya x Cousin!Reader

Warning-Spoilers from show and Hero license Arc, and fighting scenes.

Series Masterlist

After everyone had joined they continued on with the exam, “Oh, right for the hundred of you who passed the first test, please turn your attention to the screen,” The screen in front of you lights up showing the arena.

“It’s the test arena,” Izuku comments.

“What happens next?” Uraraka questions. You all watch as buildings begin to explode as well as other parts of the area get destroyed.

“What the hell.” You watch as structures collapse destroy the entirety of the arena.

“There’s only one more round to the exam. Your goal is simple: Undertake rescue exercises and save the bystanders who are trapped in these disaster sites.” The announcer explains the next exam.

Both Kaminari and Mineta look confused “Save the what now?”

“Bystanders. We learned about them in class, remember?” You try to spark their memories, “They’re people at a disaster scene.”

“It can also simply refer to innocent citizens on the street.” Momo adds.

The announcement continues. “Use this time to show us how you will carry out successful rescue procedures once you receive your provisional licenses. Treat this as though it were a real thing.”

“Look on the screen.” Shoji points out

“Little kids and old people?” Sato gasp.

“That’s so dangerous, why are they here?” Mineta adds.

“These specialists have been trained as professional ‘persons in need of rescue’ They’re very popular introducing the ‘Help Us Company’, also known as HUC for short”

Sero crosses his arms looking at the Tv “So, they’re basically actors, I guess?”

“It’s the kind of job you never think about, ribbit.” Asui points out

“But a necessary one in our world, since they support our hero training.” Ojiro noted

“The HUC bystanders have dressed up like injured victims and will be located throughout the disaster site. We'll be judging on how well you keep them safe as you go about your mission, We’ll be scoring you on a point system. If you have more points than the benchmark at the time the exercise ends then you pass the exam. We’ll start in ten minutes and take care of any necessary preparations now.”

Most of your classmates head off to go prepare for the next part of the exam. You head over to one of the tables to grab some water and a quick snack. You could feel a presence next as you went to go reach for some water when they grabbed the one you were going to. You turned and saw it was one of the students from Ketsubutsu you think you met earlier. He hands you the water bottle and you nod confused you could have grabbed it.

“Uh thanks..”

“Yo Shindo.” You nod using your quirk to get a piece of milk bread to come to you as you were too lazy to walk over. Shindo watches in awe as the bread floats to you and you grab it taking a bite from it.

“Um bye.” You said turning around heading towards your classmates, he rushes to follow you getting in front of you.

“Uh your quirk is pretty cool.” He stumbles over his words trying to remain calm in front of you.

“Thanks only gets better with training.” You state taking a sip of your water.

“I’m Yo Shindo.” He holds out his hand.

“You already said that earlier.” You smile when his face turns red and he stumbles over his words rubbing that back of neck.

“It’s fine really, I’m Y/n Midoriya.” You shake his hand giving him a smile he nods.

“I didn’t see you at the sports festival, did you not participate?” He questioned not remembering your face on the TV.

“I only joined this summer, I used to travel so I got in through recommendation.” You explained and he looked more impressed.

“Wow.” He looked at you as if you created the stars.

You heard shouting and you turned seeing Kaminari and Mineta harassing Izuku, you sigh turning to him. “Sorry I gotta deal with stuff I’ll see you around during the exam.” You give him a wave, him giving you one back and you make your wave to the boys. You throw out the empty bottle, finishing up your bread as you use your quirk to pull Denki and Mineta away from your cowering cousin. “What the hell is going on?” You look at the two boys glaring at Izuku.

“Midoriya got to see that smoking hot babe’s body naked.” Mineta pointed over to a girl from Shiketsu still waving. You release them from your hold pinching your bridge nose sighing.

“I don’t have time for this boy drama.” You turn away from them, Izuku crying out in distress as they go bombarding him again.

“Oh, hey it’s Shiketsu.” Kirishima munches on a piece of bread as their school comes over to you all.

“Bakugo.” Mora greets him. He was the one who was covered in hair

“What.” Bakugo grumbles,

“I think you met Shishikura in the test. My classmate with the flesh-molding power?”

Bakugo looked uninterested “Yeah. I took him out.”

“I thought so. I’m guessing he may have acted rudely, or perhaps offended you. He has a tendency to try and push his own values onto others. He probably couldn’t help it in your case, since you’re pretty famous. I apologize for him, I’d like to build a good relationship between our schools.” The way he spoke chilled you and it was hard to tell his expression with all that hair.

“I-I guess he wants to be friends?” Mineta shuddered

“So he says.” Izuku is exactly as fearful, “But the way they were fighting, it didn’t seem that way.”

Mora nods walking away “Anyway that’s it.”

You and Kirishima look at each other and shrug and he went to get more food as you watched the Shiketsu students leave. The way Mora acted seemed to hide hidden ideals, you didn’t get to think more as an alarm went off before you were directed to the TV.

“Villains have performed a large-scale terrorist attack spanning all of Insert City Name Here. Since most buildings collapsed there are many injured,” The room around begins to open up again just like before in the beginning “Due to heavily damaged roads, the first responders have unfortunately been delayed for the time being. Until emergency services arrive, the heroes in the arrive will lead the rescue efforts. Your task is to save as many people as you can and help the injured. And with that..” A loud blare goes off and everyone begins to run “BEGIN!” He never stated how this whole point system was going to work so every action counts.

“Let’s start by heading to the nearest urban area. We’ll work as a team as much as possible.” Ida calls out to the class

“You’re going on your own again?” Mina calls out to Bakugo who starts leaving the group and then turns next to you “Are you not going to follow?”

You shook your head following the group in front of you. “Ida’s plan for us to all work as a team will benefit all of us with what the judging is.” You explain.

“Even though this is just a test, it feels pretty real.” Asui looks around the area as you try to find anyone.

“Stay alert!” Ojiro calls out, “be careful of falling debris and explosions.”

You see Izuku stop in front of you turning to face one of the buildings and you go up to him. “What’s wrong Izuku?”

“Do you hear that?” He asks as the group tries to listen and then you hear faint crying. “I hear someone.” Izuku heads in the direction of the cries with the group following behind.

“Help me, please!” Someone calls out and you rush over to him. “My grandpa! He’s been crushed. I think he’s hurt.” He cries and you can see that there is some blood on his forehead.

“Oh no. This looks bad. Where is he?” Izuku analyzes the situation

“This looks bad?” The HUC actor yells breaking character, “That’s points off your score!” and Izuku yelps at his reaction. “The first thing you should do is see how bad my injuries are and if I can walk. I’m breathing kinda weird, too, aren’t I? And didn’t you even notice that I’m bleeding from the head?” He yells at your class, “People with Hero licenses should be able to judge a victim’s condition in an instant!” Are the members of HUC going to be the ones scoring us? “Your gross lack of training is all too apparent right now. You better shape up and pay attention, newbies! You’re not just here to provide aid. Until the police and firefighters show up, you need to exercise authority and make sure this goes off smoothly. Think of the victims here. They must be terrified. There are many aspects of being a hero. But take note, there is one thing to keep in mind above all else. Anyone in need of reducing is having the worst day of their lives. And the first thing you said was ‘This looks bad’? Seriously?” He scolds you all and you see Izuku slap his hands to his face.

“Hey! It’s fine!” Izuku gives him a smile bending down to his level. There is a brief pause before the actor gets back into character crying

“Over there! My grandpa!”

“Don’t you worry. We’ll definitely save him. I can carry this boy to the first aid station myself. You guys, go on without me!” Izuku reassures the actor while addressing the group. You nod heading off to go find more bystanders. It had been a while traveling through the rubble and debris being wary of explosions and such.

“Wait, look, someone is trapped under here.” Momo points over to where you see a elderly man under debris, “I believe he is still conscious.” She deduces.

“I’ll use my quirk to get him out.” Uraraka begins to make her way over but Momo stops her.

“That wall near him looks like it will collapse.” Momo creates metal poles and directs Sero to use his tape to stabilize the wall, then Uraraka went and removed the rubble slowly. There wasn’t much for you and your other classmates as the three of them worked.

“We aren’t going to save anyone just standing here.” Mineta whined and for once the little creep was right.

“It would be smart for our class to split up into smaller groups.” Shoji suggested and you all nodded.

“Our best way of passing is communicating and working together with the other schools to save the civilians.” Ida states. You go off into smaller groups, you are with Mina, Jiro, and Ojiro. You had to travel further into the city looking for any victims.

“Hear anything Jiro?” Mina asked the girl kneeling her earphone jacks inserted into the ground. She stood up and pointed towards where the highway you fought at in the beginning of the exam was destroyed.

You headed over to the location and that when Mina called out the three of you. “Guys I found someone, hey you’re going to be okay I have friends here to help you.” You went to where Mina was and she was calming down an older man.

“He doesn’t have any abnormal responses but his leg is pinned down and we have to be careful if the highway has any falling rubble.” Mina explained pointing to the location where you could see his leg was pin down his pant leg was red but you knew it wasn’t really blood.

“Please help me I can’t feel my leg!” the man cried.

“It’s going to be okay sir, Ojiro you and I will lift the rubble up and Mina and Jiro as soon as you can pull him out, this area isn’t that stable so we need to be careful but also quick.” You ordered and they nodded. Mina and Jiro got into position, Mina holding underneath his arms and Jiro by his legs. Ojiro placed his tail underneath the rubble and your hands glowed red. “Ready, 1..2..3!” You and Ojiro pulled the rock up and Mina and Jiro pulled him out. The two girls pulled him a safe distance for you both to let go of the rubble. They helped the man up to his feet letting him put his weight on the two of them. “Okay let’s get you to a safe location.” You all made your way out of the destroyed highway zone to more clearer areas. Suddenly you could feel rumbling and loud explosions towards the area where you all started at the beginning of the exam.

“Isn’t that where the shelter zone is at?” Jiro commented and an announcement came over the stadium.

“Villains have appeared and they are wreaking havoc on the city, the heroes must suppress them as well continue carrying out rescue maneuvers.”

“Villains and continuing rescue operations? They really want to make this as really as possible.” Jiro points out as you head away from the explosion.

“The only thing we can do is find a new location for civilians and hope any students nearby are dealing with the situation.” Ojiro adds and you all focus on the task at hand. You had found the other examinees setting up a new shelter area and more students with bystanders showing up. You were a reasonable distance from the fight and you could see the occasional gust of wind and fire. You had looked over the examinees and citizens trying to see if you could find Izuku.

“You should go help them.” You turn and see Mina looking at you, you shook your head turning back to people resetting up the shelter zone.

“I’ll be better helping here if we need to move again. Anyway my quirk is better for defense then combat.” You go back to helping pass medical equipment to one of the examinees checking a bystander.

“I’ve seen you fight in training during school and when we don’t have classes. Your quirk is definitely more than just defense, you can move things with your freakin mind. You could end that fight in seconds, they need you Y/n.” She pulls you away from helping and pushing you into the direction of the fight, “So go over there and show those people in the stands that you are going to be the next number one.” You smiled taking a deep breath in and turned back to her.

“You are literally my favorite.” She laughed, shooing you off and you sent a quick wave before turning towards the fight and taking off running. You could see both Shoto and that one student from Shiketsu trying to fight the “villain” who was Gang Orca. You remember seeing him during the Kamino Raid. Whenever Todoroki tried using his fire and Yoarashi with his wind they both cancelled each other or didn’t affect Gang Orca at all. Todoroki tried using his fire again but Yoarashi used his wind quirk which deflected his flames in the wrong direction.

Heading towards a paralyzed Shindo “No! He’ll be incinerated!” Todoroki thinks unable to stop the flames heading towards the student. Right before the flames can reach two people reach there at the same time. Izuku using his enhanced speed to rescue Shindo, and Y/n landing previously where the boy was using her quirk to stop the flames.

“Dammit what are you two doing!” Izuku yells at the two of them, bringing Shindo to a safer distance.

“Are you two really bicker during a fight.” You commented as Gang Orca’s goons came your way. They had fired their cement guns towards you but you stopped the cement mid-flight sending it back their way. You stuck multiple people together with the cement, keeping your distance to not get over crowded with a more mid-range attack. While you were focused on his sidekicks, Gang Orca grabs Todoroki and uses his soundwave on Yoarashi, knocking him out of the sky. You send a wave of energy towards Gang Orca’s sidekicks sending them flying back rushing over to a falling Yoarashi. You used your quirk to soften his impact with the ground. Facing Gang Orca you got ready to fight your eyes turning red as energy surrounding your hands.

“You're foolish thinking you can take me on by yourself.” He tries to intimidate you.

“As long as those civilians are safe I’ll fight you with everything I got!” You call, a smirk appears on his face as he makes his way towards you. He uses his sonic wave to immobilize you, bringing your hands up to block his attack with a force field getting pushed back by the strength of it even when protected. Running to him going into a close combat fight, throwing punches mixed in with the psionic energy. Gang Orca is pushed back when you throw a ball of energy at his chest, his feet digging into the floor. ‘Just keep fighting until everyone is safe and rescued’ You remind yourself. Punches and kicks are thrown, Gang Orca using his Sonic wave but you keep putting up a force field protecting you.

“How long will you be able to last?” He sees your reaction time getting slower to his attacks. You get back up to your feet ready to keep fighting. Gang Orca sends another Sonic Wave towards you stronger and faster than the other ones. You are not going to be able to protect yourself. Bring your arms up hoping that you have a small force field so you are not fully immobilized. You don’t feel any pain or effect of his quirk, then you hear struggling.

There was Gang Orca cover in a light red haze, your hands had energy a darker red than it’s ever been. “My quirk..” you hear him struggle trying to use his sonic wave to break out of your grasp but he couldn’t.

Dropping your hands the red disappears and he quickly attacks while you are confused on what happened. You flew back, rolling landing on your back looking up to the sky. Your ears rang and you could hear you breathing most noise muffled as the fight continued around you. Why can’t I hear? Turning your head when you felt a wave of heat and there was a huge fire tornado, when did this happen? You couldn’t do anything but watch as the blazing whirlwind is destroyed by Gang Orca who was inside it. You didn’t get to view the rest of the fight when your vision was turned away by Mina who is kneeling above you. Her mouth was moving talking to you but everything was muffled.

“What…” you gazed up at your friend as she helped you up from laying down to sitting up.

Slowly her voice became more clear and the noise around you returned. “Y/n are you okay when the rest of us came to help I saw you on the ground and thought the worst.” You nodded and looked around and saw Izuku standing next to Gang Orca but they weren’t fighting. Before you could question the loud speaker came on.

“All your scores have been tallied. For those who have suffered injuries, head to the infirmary and for those who aren’t to change back into their normal clothes and await for further instructions.” So the exam was over and all you did in the end was stare at the sky.

“Come one let’s get you checked out.” She grabbed your arm helping you to your feet. You both made your way out of the arena when you felt eyes on you. Looking back you saw Gang Orca looking at you, looking back forward you let Mina lead you away. How did I do that? After being checked out you had a bit of a concussion when you got hit at the end of the fight, but it didn’t explain the bloody nose and blood coming from your ears.

You got cleaned up and changed back into your school uniform gathered in front of a screen. “Okay. Everyone, thanks for your hard work in today’s exam. Now before I announce the results. I should probably explain the way we evaluated you, between HUC and those of us at the Heroes public Safety Commission. We had a two-fold demerit system that we used to determine your total scores. In other words, we were evaluating you based on how few mistakes you made in a crisis situation. Anyway, the names of those who passed are listed here in alphabetical order. Keep my words in mind as you search the screen for your name.” The screen in front of you all turns on with a list of names. Come M.. Midoriya. You look through all the M’s and there it was Midoriya Y/n. You passed!

Mina tackles you into a hug “We both passed look at us! One step closer to being Pros.” You laugh as you other classmates freak out about passing. You glance through the board and can’t find Bakugo’s name.

“Todoroki!” You all turn to see Yoarashi slamming his head into the ground in front of Todoroki. “I’m sorry! It’s my fault that you failed the test. My focus was too narrow minded.”

Todoroki doesn’t move before stepping forward. “You’re fine. I was the one that got us off to a bad start. And thanks to the things you said to me, I have a lot to think about.”

“Holy crap. Did he really fail?” Mina asked

“How could our top two classmates not pass the exam?” Sero said out loud.

“Shoulda been more careful what you said. Words are important, you know.” Denki teases Bakugo and Bakugo looks ready to kill.

“Shut your mouth before I murder you.” He hissed and Denki's face went pale.

“Those entitled people at the top think so highly of themselves, don’t they?” Mineta joins into the conversation, “Their own egos are their worst enemies.” He grabs onto Todoroki’s shoulder “Looks like our class hierarchy is collapsing”

A red haze surrounds Mineta and he’s thrown away from your classmates. Todoroki gives you a nod and thanks and you respond, but a sharp pain in your head has you hissing pressing a hand to your forehead.

“You okay Y/n?” Mina looks over at you but you wave her off.

“I’m fine, I probably shouldn’t use my quirk with a concussion.”

“When did you get that.” Sero asked as you stopped rubbing your head feeling better.

“When I was fighting Gang Orca.”

“You fought Gang Orca!” Denki and Sero yelled, making your head hurt more and they lowered their voices.

“He’s like the number 10 Hero and you like actually fought him.” Denki asked and you nodded.

“Todoroki and Yoarashi were down and everyone was busy with the evacuation. I did what I could but then…” You froze remembering Gang Orca struggling unable to use his quirk, but you can’t stop people’s quirks right? Your friends look at you confused when you stopped talking to tell what happened, “Um… all I remember after a bit was that I was on the ground with Mina there and the exam was over, not a big deal.”

The boys nodded and Mina squeezed your hand and you didn’t see Bakugo still staring at you. What really happened in that fight.

“So next we’ll give you the printouts of your results. They include a breakdown of your scores, so you’ll know exactly what areas you need to improve going forward.” People came out handing out papers to each of you giving a breakdown on your profile during the exam. “We lopped off points when you did something wrong. Fall below 50, and you’re done. These demerits are itemized on your result forms, as you’ll see so I’d look at them.”

“Mina what did you get?” You looked off your paper turning to your friend who was glazing over hers.

“I got a 80 seems I’m pretty good at these things, what about you?”

“Eh I got a 85 they mainly took points off when I went to fight by myself instead of helping the evacuation or at least bring someone with me.”

Mina's arm went over your shoulder pulling you into a side hug. “I think you did the right thing. You were able to single handedly fight a Pro on your own, that’s freaking awesome.” you smile thanking her and the announcer continued on,

“Anyway, moving forward those of you who passed can exercise the same authority as pro heroes, but only during emergency situations. In other words fighting villains, saving the victims of criminal acts or accidents. You may act using your best judgement with no direct orders. Keep in mind that your every action from now on carries with it the deep responsibility toward bettering society, and that the world is watching you. I’m sure you’re aware that All Might, our greatest hero, no longer has his incredible power. One of the reasons crime in this county has been so low is due to his presence. With that deterrent gone, criminals are sure to become bolder and more widespread. Expect the balance we currently have in our world to be destroyed, and for things to change quickly.”

“You young people will be the hope for our future. It’s Imperative that you become exemplary heroes. That your reputation grows to suppress crime as did his. Remember the license you earn today is provisional and you still have much to do. I would like for you to think of yourselves as fledglings, and be even more diligent in your studies. And as for those who fell short and did not pass. We don’t have time for you to feel bitter about your loss. Instead, we offer you a chance to redeem yourselves. After you attend a three-month-long special course and pass an individual test, we plan to issue a provisional license to those of you who failed as well. In order for us to reach the idyllic future that I just spoke of, we’re going to need as many good heroes on the streets as we can get. The first round was one to weed people out. But we would like to grow the 100 selected in that test as much as possible. That's' why we watched you all until the very end. So we can see for ourselves that you each have promise. That once your shortcomings are corrected, you have the potential to be as great as your fellow classmates. This special course will keep you busy as it will run concurrently with your normal studies. You’re welcome to retake the exam in April if you prefer to wait.” He had finished his speech and with that the provisional license exam was complete.

#mha #bmha #mha bakugou #mha quirks #mha x reader #mha x y/n #bakugou katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #my hero academia #izuku midoriya #bakugo x midoriya!reader #x midoriya!reader #katsuki x midoriya!reader #izuku x cousin!reader #deku x cousin!reader #hero license exam

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hapalopus · 5 years ago

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Cats (2019) as live-blogged/experienced by a casual Cats (the stage show) fan:

They showed an ad for their new 4D technology and for a hot second I feared I'd have to see nude Idris Elba in 4D

The movie opens with cat eyes in the clouds, like Mufasa. This is never explained or commented on or referenced again

Victoria is in a sack and is thrown from a car into an alley. Just a tiny human shape struggling in a sack

Munkustrap is climbing like spiderman, head first, down a wall

Munkustrap is not hot in this version

Some cats are wearing shoes??? Nothing but shoes?

They gave Mistoffelees' lines to random background cats??

They basically float when they jump???? They are not present??? No weight??

Idris Elba saying 'what' in a confused tone in the middle of the first song, that's a mood

"cat got your tongue?"

Sexy dancing to 'The Naming of Cats' in a graveyard

The song is not bad tbh

Right when you think you've gotten used to the design something makes it gross again

The cats constantly change size. Sometimes the size of rats... sometimes children

Jennyanydots sings the part that should be sung by Demeter & Co and she does not sing it well

Oh god the mice... "It's dinner and a show" I was so afraid they'd vore the mice

Someone farted in the teater during the Gumbycat song

The roaches are actually okay except they're wearing heels and are supposed to be sexy

Tugger is wearing lipstick i think? All of the cats are

Tugger is not sexy

Jennyanydots joked about Tugger being neutered

Jennyanydots has too much screentime

Tugger is into Victoria? ????

Milk...

Jason Derulo screaming "MIIIILK!!!"

At least Tugger doesn't wave his crotch in people's faces in the movie

The movie is less horny than the stage show

Hissing

Grizabella looks sexy instead of sad

One cat wears a rat skull necklace? Do rats have rat faces in this universe??

"look what the cat dragged in"

"Macavity! Wanted for: everything" (this is actually a detail from the show, it's just funny)

Cats wearing nothing but sneakers

Bustopher Jones talks too much

Licking themselves

Bustopher hurt his balls haha! Funny joke! Always funny when a male character hurts his balls!!

I think some of the background dancers are cgi but honestly can't tell

Eating with their faces like cats

"puss in spats!" *repeats 10 times like it's the best joke ever*

I actually like what they did to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer's song

They all have eyes that say "i want to eat you'

The folie guy was too busy. Bad sounds everywhere

The dog... Thank god they didn't show it

Mistoffelees is into Victoria???

What did they do to my little gay son Mistoffelees

Kidnapped cats are whisked away to a boat on the Thames

Growltiger and Griddlebone are NOT pirates in the movie???

Deuteronomy is called Old-cat Bog-body in the Danish subs so there's that

When a cat looks into the camera I feel fear

When Munkustrap rubs against Deuteronomy like a cat... That's not good

Gus and Deuteronomy have a relationship now I guess, but it's not gay because they turned Deuteronomy into a woman in the movie

Why is Skimbleshanks the Railway cat moving all sexy?

I love the dance parts in the show. Not so much in the movie

Why are the trying to make Victoria and Mistoffelees a thing???

Occassional breakdancing by Tugger

Ngl the instrumental music is dope

When their ears twitch... gross

When they all get on their hands and knees and go hng hng hng hng

The whiskers are gross

This woman just doesn't look sad and grimy enough to play Grizabella

WHY IS GRIZABELLA THE ONE TO WALK AWAY WHEN VICTORIA REACHES OUT? GRIZABELLA WANTS TO BE TOUCHED, THAT'S LITERALLY HER ONLY CONSISTENT TRAIT IN THE SHOW

'beautiful ghosts'? Is that a real song? Sung by Victoria?

Google says the song is made up for the movie

Yeah some of the music is pretty good... But they just don't have the power of the stage production

Oh god their gross pink human lips and weird cat ears and whiskers... Oh god the whiskers

At least they don't have cat tits

Gus lapping water from a bowl.

"knock on wood" *rubs against wooden beam*

Why is Deuteronomy and Gus a thing?

Dame Judy Dench lifting her leg up high after Gus' song

People saying 'meow'

Macavity yelling his name when he kidnaps Gus, but no one notices him

At least the guy playing Munkustrap has a pleasant voice

Skimbleshank's design creeps me out with his thin moustache and bare chest

I like the updated music sometimes

In Skimbleshank's song they all suddenly wear tap dancing shoes... And now they're in a train??? Victoria wears a cat-sized railway hat... Now they're back in the theater

Why does Bombalurina sing Macavity's song?

The catnip is a plot point. Makes everyone horny for Macavity

Ngl the Macavity song by Taylor Swift has something going for it

Did I say they don't have cat tits? Taylor Swift does

When the cats look at the camera i feel terror

NAKED IDRIS ELBA DANCING SEXILY WITH TAYLOR SWIFT UP AN ENDLESS STAIRCASE

"he's got soul!"

"I've got plenty of soul!!!"

Hissing

WALK THE PLANK

The background cat looking for Deuteronomy in Mistoffelees' hat while they're trying to convince Mistoffelees to magic back the kidnapped cats is great and it's the kind of stuff that's everywhere in the stage show and I miss it in the movie

WHY ISN'T TUGGER SINGING MISTOFFELEES' SONG, WHY IS IT MUNGOSTRAP AND MISTOFFELEES HIMSELF

Mistoffelees looks so sad always :/

Tiny horrific cgi mice under Mistoffelees' hat

WHY IS VICTORIA SINGING MISTOFFELEES' SONG NOW?? WHERE IS TUGGER IN ALL OF THIS?

Tugger is is singing yeee in a falsetto while the others are encouraging Mistoffelees holy shit???

Mistoffelees and Victoria rubbing against each other?? Dancing together? This movie is homophobic

NSKED Idris Elba is BACK

JENNYANYDOTS RIPPING OFF HER SKIN TO ESCAPE, REVEALING A DRESS AND A SECOND SET OF SKIN UNDERNEATH

"don't mess with a crazy cat lady"

WHY IS VICTORIA STARTING GRIZABELLA'S BIG SONG?

VICTORIA TOUCHED GRIZABELLA BEFORE THE 'TOUCH ME' LINE? SHE IS ACTIVELY TOUCHING GRIZABELLA AND TELLING HER TO SING

oh god the human lips... Their skin is bare on the nose, but fur-colored, why didn't they do that to the lips??

I'm sorry girl but you can't play Grizabella

The enunciation in 'i must wait for the sunlight' is gross

VICTORIA IS TOUCHING GRIZABELLA'S HAND BEFORE THE 'TOUCH ME' LINE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

'Memory' fading into the instrumental 'jellicle cats come out tonight' like that is honestly sacreligious

They gave no build-up before Deuteronomy chose Grizabella to be reborn? It felt so fake and forced

Grizabella is ascending in a broken chandelier in a theater instead of a burning tire in a junkyard and I don't approve of this change

Naked Idris Elba almost fell to his death and I feel robbed

I think they made Bustopher Jones gay? But not Mistoffelees/Tugger? This movie is homophobic

The movie end with Deuteronomy, Munkustrap, Victoria, and Mistoffelees singing and looking at the audience and it scares me

THEY CUT OUT THE PEKES AND POLLICLES SONG, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES, BITCH

Munkustrap licking his lips and looking ferociously hungry at the mentioning of cavier god that was horrifying

WHY DID VICTORIA AND MISTOFFELEES END UP TOGETHER

WHERE WAS THE HOMOEROTIC TENSION BETWEEN MISTOFFELEES AND TUGGER

"I believe you are a Jellicle Cat... A dear licle cat..."

#cats 2019 #cats musical #cats movie

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idnek83 · 4 years ago

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Aid - Chapter 6/13

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham

Tags: Alternate Universe - Island Mode, No Game Spoilers, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Grinding, Wet Dreams, Anal Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Anal Sex

Summary: Everyone is hot and half naked because of their beach vacation. Soda is horny and tries to do something about it. Gundham tries to help and does. It all gets a little out of hand.

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Read on Ao3

This Chapter: Soda is learning all kinds of new things about himself. Soda does a lot of thinking, mostly about Gundham.

_____________________

Ok, it was time to fucking do this.

Soda grabbed the bottle of lube, unzipped his coveralls, and-

Realized he should probably take it slow.

He put the lube back where it had been. It was probably best to, like, get into it first, before he started trying new things.

He sighed and laid back on his pillows, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander. He thought of his dream, the one that had made him want to buy lube in the first place.

He honestly didn’t remember what having a dick in his ass had felt like in it, he just remembered his brain telling him it felt good.

His heart beat a little faster and his dick was starting to get hard.

He remembered Gundham kissing him, in the dream, remembered how it had been so gentle to start, before everything had shifted and Gundham had started basically fucking his mouth with his tongue. Honestly, both sounded so fucking good, and Soda brought his hand up to lightly stroke his clothed cock.

He was starting to get kind of warm. Should probably get some layers off.

Soda pulled of his beanie and let if fall to the floor by his bed as he pulled his arms out of his sleeves and worked the rest if his body free from his coveralls. He threw them off the bed, quickly followed by his tank top, and laid back down, now just in his underwear.

He looked down at the growing bulge in his boxers and gave it a light squeeze before dipping his hand below his waistband. He wrapped his hand around his hardening cock and remembered the way Gundham had teased him on the beach. Just barely touching his cock while kissing and biting at his thighs and stomach. Soda used his free hand to pinch his inner thigh and let out a sigh from how good it felt.

But Gundham’s mouth had felt better.

He took off his boxers and shifted a little, bending his knees up and parting his legs to imitate the position he had been in on the beach. He remembered how hot he felt when Gundham ha pushed him onto his back like this, how the thought of Gundham fucking him had passed through his mind at that moment, before he realized Gundham was about to suck his dick instead of-

Right. He had thought Gundham was going to kiss him. He bit his lip and sucked on it a little.

Gundham had sucked his cock instead. Soda bucked into his hand a little as he remembered how good it had felt once he had finally gotten Gundham’s mouth on him. He began pumping his hand as he thought about how good it had felt when he had his mouth on Gundham’s cock.

He pressed his lips together to muffle a moan.

Gundham had a nice fucking cock. It was long and thick and had had a satisfying weight to it in Soda’s mouth. He remembered his dream and hoped it would feel just as good in his ass.

He gave his own cock a squeeze as he reached for the lube. He was fully hard now, and if he waited much longer, he’d probably just forget the whole thing and jack-off like normal.

He continued slowly stroking his dick as he brought the bottle in front of his face, he felt stupid looking for instructions, but he had literally no idea how much he was supposed to use. Probably like, a lot, right?

“Use a few drops and-“

Fuck you lube bottle, what the hell do you know anyways? Soda was gonna use as much lube as he god damned pleased, and there was nothing some dumbass bottle could do to stop him.

He removed his hand from his cock to open the bottle and squirted a few drops, for now, onto his fingers. He rubbed his thumb through it, taking some time to marvel at just how slick it was on his fingers. It would probably feel pretty fucking good on his dick too.

He couldn’t help it, he lowers his lubed up fingers to his dick and gave it an experimental stroke.

Fuck. Yesss.

God, even if he ended up not liking ass stuff, he was keeping the lube. Like, he had used lotion to jack off before, and maybe it was just a mental thing, but the lube just made the glide of his hand on his cock feel so smooth and so good.

Shit. Right. Not here to just jack-off.

Soda forced himself to stop and apply a few more drops to his fingertips.

Ok, he could do this.

He lowered his hand, letting it slide down his hip and past his cock. He stroked his balls with his thumb and pressed two fingers to the flat bit of skin just behind his sack, before slowly letting them drift lower.

He gasped. Maybe it was just cus he was so worked up, but he hadn’t thought just touching his asshole would have felt that good. He took his time and just enjoyed the feeling of his slick fingers rubbing around it as his eyes fluttered shut. He used his middle finger press experimentally against his hole, not pushing in yet but just kind of testing the waters.

He brought his other hand back to his cock, fucking delighted to find it was still slick from before. He gave himself a few pumps, pulsing his fingers against his ass in time with them, and couldn’t help but moan. Ok, yeah, so far, it felt amazing. Thank you sexy dream.

He let out a breath and reluctantly took his hand away from his ass again. He didn’t care what the bottle said, he wanted to use a little more lube before he got to the actual, like, penetration.

He shivered as he placed his re-lubed fingers back against his ass. He took a deep breath and pushed one in.

It felt amazing for a second, then kind of uncomfortable the next. He shifted his hips a little and gave his cock a slow pump. Ok, the uncomfortable feeling was leaving, he just needed to let himself relax and get used to it.

He pushed his finger a little deeper and made sure to stroke his dick as he did. It was definitely starting to feel good again. He was only really up to his second knuckle, but he decided to give it a few experimental thrusts before pushing any deeper.

He was panting, it felt so damn good. He stopped pumping his cock of a minute so he could just enjoy the feeling of fingering himself. He pushed in deeper and moaned. Images of Gundham, his hands, his mouth, his cock, flashed through Soda’s mind and he began to thrust his finger again, biting down on his lip to keep himself from being too loud.

God, he should have just done this when Gundham had come by this morning, let him finger Soda till he came and then…

Soda wanted more, he withdrew his finger and pressed back in with two, and fuck, it was so good. He thought of Gundham’s soft smiles and teasing smirks from the beach.

“Stop teasing.”

“If that is your desire.”

He started pumping his fingers faster, imagining Gundham above him, kissing and nipping his way across his chest, up his neck and finally, fucking finally, pressing his lips against Soda’s.

He curled his fingers and nearly came right then. His whole body jolted, and his mind went blank. He knew he had found his prostate, the fabled ‘male G-spot’ and he and he had to stop everything he was doing for a moment to just breathe.

Fuck, this was the best idea he’d ever had.

He slowly curled his fingers again, teasing that same spot and he couldn’t stop himself from rolling his hips down, chasing that feeling. He started moving the hand on his dick again. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, but it already felt so good, and he wanted to cum so badly.

He closed his eyes and Gundham was there again, above him, pumping his fingers into Soda’s ass and stroking his cock.

“My sweet companion.”

Soda picked up the pace, getting desperate, rolling his hips up into his fist and back down against his fingers. He wanted Gundham here.

“My paramour.”

He wanted Gundham here. He wanted him to hold him, and he wanted him to kiss him, and he wanted him to fuck him, and-

“Dearest consort.”

He wanted him to love him.

Soda came with a shout. His vision went white and he felt wave after wave of pleasure course through him. He could feel himself shaking, his whole body felt like it was on fire, but he couldn’t stop fucking his fingers into him, milking out every last bit of pleasure he could before his body finally went slack and he was forced to come back down to reality.

His breath was shaky.

What the fuck had he just thought.

He removed the fingers from his ass and wiped off the lube on the bed sheets.

What the fuck had he just thought.

He looked down, he was covered in his own cum.

What the fuck-

He got into the shower.

-had he just-

He rinsed of his cum and the remaining lube.

-fucking-

He pulled on some fresh clothes and got back in bed.

-thought?

He thought about the first time he had seen two men kiss on tv. Thought about his father’s sneer and the venom filled words he had uttered.

He stared at the celling.

He remembered a kid from school. Soda had watched him get his ass kicked while kids yelled those same words at him, laughing.

He was crying.

Sex didn’t bother him. He could fuck guys all he wanted, hell, he could even get fucked, that was fine too. As long as it was just physical, it was fine.

He couldn’t breathe.

No one really cared who you fucked, no one even needed to know who you fucked. Even if they found out, you could always just tell them that sex is sex. As long as it was just physical, it was fine.

He wanted to vomit.

You couldn’t fall in love, that crossed the line. Loving another man was wrong, it was gross, it was depraved.

He wanted to die.

As long as it was just physical, it was fine. That was the rule he had set for himself. That was the rule he thought he could live by.

He knew he could never just walk up to his friend’s, hand in hand with another guy, and introduce him as his boyfriend. He wouldn’t be able to take their looks of disgust and hatred, and he would be to weak to stand up to their beatings.

He didn’t even want to think about what his father would do.

But…

Maybe if he just never told anyone. If he kept his feelings a secret from everyone, kept the relationship behind closed, and locked, doors? Could he be happy then?

No. He wouldn’t be happy, the other guy probably wouldn’t be either. Even if they were, one of them would trip up eventually and the whole thing would just blow up in their faces anyways. That kind of relationship wasn’t worth it.

It wasn’t that he didn’t think any guys should be together, he just knew he couldn’t do it.

Soda couldn’t handle the fear.

Chatting about nothing with Gundham’s arm around him, he felt nice. He felt calm. He felt happy.

Soda couldn’t handle the judgment.

Gundham’s hand in his hair, holding him to his bare chest. “I forgive you for all that you believe you have done wrong.”

Soda couldn’t handle the isolation.

Surrounded by his friends in the ocean. He wondered what Gundham was up to.

Soda couldn’t handle the anxiety.

Gundham holding Jum-P towards him. “If you are nervous, I will lend you my aid.”

Soda couldn’t handle his own weakness.

Gundham looked miserable. “Sometimes all you really need is someone there to support you right? Everything’s a little less scary that way.” His own words.

Soda couldn’t handle anything.

But maybe Gundham could help him.

Next Chapter

#Soudam #Soda kazuichi #gundham tanaka #Soda/Gundham #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #fic #My writing #Fellas is it gay to be in love with another man?#Fic Aid

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goodlucktai · 5 years ago

Note

Congrats on finishing your paper! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ Could I request Prompto-centric stuff? If you're up for AU thoughts, I recently had an idea flash of Versus13!Prompto (from early trailers) and canon!Prom being brothers/twins and got very excited - it'd be lovely to read your take on that! Your writing is such a rich, heartwarming experience. I'm ace & a Found Family lover too so it just resonates with me so much. Thank you!

Prompto shows up to the Crow’s Nest looking hunted. Gladio is already sliding over to make room for him on his side of the booth, and Prompto crashes into the waiting seat without ceremony. He shoulders off a ratty backpack, letting it fall to the floor at his feet, which would imply that he literally just got back.

“Hey, guys,” Prompto says without inflection.

“Oof,” Noct says. He leans forward across the table on his elbows, and gives Prompto’s hair a friendly ruffle. “Missed you too, loser.”

It’s an understatement. Noctis and Prompto have been comfortably attached at the hip since they were fifteen, and this past week was probably the longest they’d ever spent apart. Gladio’s had to listen to the crown prince whine for the last five days, and if it wasn’t his actual job to make sure Noctis didn’t get his ass kicked, Gladio would have kicked his ass.

Prompto makes a face and waves Noct’s hand away, but already his demeanor is thawing. “Of course I missed you. We only Facetimed like every five seconds. Sorry, it was a long drive.”

Gladio scrutinizes him on the low, taking in what Ignis probably already has. He’s wrinkled and red-eyed and jittery, something tight in the lines of his body that speaks of frustration.

“I take it you didn’t enjoy your trip?” Ignis asks. He pushes Gladio’s basket of fries under Prompto’s nose, more or less a command to eat something.

Prompto picks up a fry and worries it apart in his fingers.

“‘Course I didn’t. Driving all the way to Duscae in a gross car with a sleazy reporter to get your idiot brother out of jail isn’t exactly a vacation. I can’t believe I had to miss Iris’ birthday.”

“Hey, don’t let your head go there,” Gladio tells him firmly. “She told you it was fine, and she loved that stupid Moogle jacket you got her.”

“There’s, like, a whole fleet of not-gross cars at the Citadel that you could have borrowed,” Noct says for the nth time. “You have the same clearance level as Ignis, and Ignis can do whatever he wants.”

“Uh, I think that’s just ‘cause he’s Ignis.”

“Either way, I would have been happy to arrange alternate transportation,” says Ignis calmly. “Threatening Mr. Ghiranze with what I would do to him if he made you uncomfortable in any way wasn’t nearly as reassuring.”

Prompto chokes on a bite of Noct’s salmon and Gladio thumps him on the back until he gets it down.

“You what?” he finally manages. “Oh, no wonder he was so weird! He wouldn’t even look at me. Iggy, you’re the best.”

He’s breathless, and bright with the beginning of laughter, and Gladio thinks, Nice one, Specs.

It felt weird to be three instead of four, even only for a week. He won’t come out and say it, but Gladio is relieved to have Blondie back where he belongs.

He’ll be with Gladio heading up Basic Training for the next two months, and Gladio is more than looking forward to it. The new recruits are a bunch of pains in the ass, and they deserve to have Cor the Immortal’s ‘Quicksilver’ protege whip them into terrified appreciation for Gladio’s less manic approach.

The bell above the door rings merrily, and a familiar someone shouts, “Hey, birdbrain!”

The hard-won good cheer drains out of Prompto’s face like water from a leaky faucet. He doesn’t have time to turn around before Peregrine is upon him, pouncing like a hungry coeurl upon an injured anak.

“You left before I could say thanks,” Peregrine says with vicious glee, grabbing Prompto in a probably-affectionate headlock. His barcode is stark and bold under the fluorescent lights of the diner, hidden in plain sight by a geometric half-sleeve tattoo. “Sick of your big bro, is that it?”

“For sure,” Prompto wheezes, trying to peel him off. “Definitely, one-hundred percent.”

To this day, Gladio isn’t sure what to make of Peregrine. He showed up in Insomnia a few weeks after Prompto’s televised swearing-in ceremony, with nothing but the clothes on his back and a shock-rifle strapped to his shoulder. Given what they are, they’re physically identical, but Prompto’s friends have never had any trouble telling them apart.

“Whatever.” Peregrine lets Prompto go with a toothy grin. He’s causing a whole scene in the quiet diner, but he’s been a Hunter all his life and very little seems to phase him. “You gonna be home tonight?”

“If I say no, are you going to get arrested again?” Prompto asks his brother suspiciously.

“I’ll probably have my hands full with Dino, since one of your boyfriends here traumatized mine. He needs a little TLC, if you know what I–”

“Nope!” Prompto says loudly. “Bye, Pere!“

Peregrine laughs, and it manages to be more affectionate than antagonistic. This time, when he leans down to hug Prompto, it actually looks like a hug instead of a cheerful mugging.

“Thanks for coming for me, birdie,” Peregrine says, cheek propped on Prompto’s messy hair. It’s one of those unexpected moments of sincerity that occasionally pops up between the two of them like a buoy. “I know it sucked.”

“It did suck,” Prompto mutters. But he’s leaning into his brother’s arms instead of away, and the harassed, stressed out lines of his body are relenting. “But I was actually glad you called me.”

Peregrine’s hands go tight in Prompto’s jacket for a second. Sometimes, he looks as though he’d like to grab onto Prompto and never let him go.

The two of them spent so much of their lives alone– one in an empty house, and one in the wild countryside– and they both managed to find their own people, build their own homes. They don’t know how to be family, but they’re figuring it out. They want to figure it out. They’re learning their way around each other.

Peregrine ruins the mood by squeezing Prompto so tight he squeaks.

“I’ll quote you on that next time,” he chirps, and leans over to swipe Gladio’s basket of fries, and takes off as abruptly as he arrived in the first place. “See you, Prom! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“No!” Prompto yells after him, leaning out of the booth. “No ‘next time’!”

“Text me, byeeeeeee!”

“Could you imagine being stuck in a car with him for six hours?” Noct says, with what looks like a new appreciation for Prompto’s plight.

Prompto whirls to face him, vindicated. “It was the worst!”

Ignis soothes him with promises of green curry soup for dinner– a handy excuse for what he already had planned, the chickatrice thigh and coconut milk sitting in Noctis’ apartment for Prompto’s return– and Gladio drops a heavy arm around Prompto’s shoulders to try to absorb some of his nervous energy.

Prom’s phone chimes while Noctis is getting the check, flashing Peregrine’s silly contact I.D. Gladio isn’t nosy enough to read over Prompto’s shoulder, but he watches the expressions parade across his friend’s freckled face. Surprise, good humor, the automatic joy of an inside joke.

As Prompto types out a reply, he’s grinning– the lighter, brighter half of a new dynamic duo– and Gladio thinks it’s a good look on him.

#final fantasy xv #ffxv #chocobros #prompto argentum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #noctis lucis caelum #ffxv fic #my writing #prompt #mugurahokori

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starshineandbooks · 4 years ago

Text

Of ghosts and sons

Based almost entirley off of @lovelylogans‘s Gilmore girls AU - AO3 Tumblr

Read THIS on Ao3

Summary: Remus reflects back on his thoughts of his still living loved ones’ lives. Watching his teenager grow into a married man with a kid.

Also known as: An excuse to write soft dad! Remus and Son! Roman, and explore how a dead Remus feels about his son marrying an academically smart moron.

Word count: 2596

Pairing: Romantic Moxiety, Romantic Logince, familial lampr

Warnings: Dead character (Remus is a ghost kinda?), mild cursing, a few suggestive lines, Remus being Remus, weird food, sympathtic! Remus

Remus figured he achieved a pretty great death. Oh, sure, he misses things, but now he can float around behind people and be himself with free of judgement, which is, nice. Oddly nice. Don’t get him wrong, he’d had friends, ut, even Virgil and Isidora had been a little weirded out every once in a while.

And, he’s watched Virgil and Isidora, of course he did. They mattered to him.

Remus is proud of Virgil, finding a good guy, even if he wasn’t a guy Remus would have chosen, to settle down with. Virgil and Patton, Remus think they’re a good match. He’d have loved to make Patton squirm though. Nothing personal, he liked to make everyone squirm. It was fun!

Patton is also fairly interesting, at first Remus just watched him after earth because he was a scandal. Patton, trans, sixteen year old run away, with a baby. Pretty interesting.

Then, Remus got invested. Oops.

Patton was kind, and a good person. Remus could respect him. Remus isn't so sure that he and Patton would have been friends, but Remus had to admit, Patton was respectable.

Patton Sanders, the kid stood up for himself and his child. Patton befriended Virgil, which is hard enough, then made Virgil love him, which is even harder. Then Virgil fell for Patton romantically, which is a task to make happen.

Patton raised a smart, ambitious kid. Logan. Remus is fond of Logan, but don’t tell anyone. Of course, Logan is also basically Virgil’s kid, which basically makes Remus Logan’s roundabout uncle in a weird way.

Logan is smart, wickedly so in fact. The kid goes to Chilton, and is very ambitious. In a cutthroat manner almost. Yet, Logan is genuinely kind, and cares for Remus’ own child.

That’s another thing. Remus has a kid. A biological child he never met.

Isidora had been someone Remus genuinely loved. Not romantically, but he had loved her more than anything else, except maybe Virgil. But that was a different kind of love.

Isidora, the five foot two latina had been a spitfire of a dancer when Remus knew her. Not much had changed, except, she had Roman not long after Remus died.

And Virgil, bless the man, had fought to be in Roman’s life.

Roman was a lot like his mom, loyal, kind, courageous. Roman was taller than his mother, but just as graceful.

Roman, Remus’ baby, shut up that’s Remus’ baby. His spawn. He’s allowed to be a little sappy.

Roman had grown from an over excited six year old kissing his best-friend-and-first-crush’s skinned knee better into a kind, loyal, selfless teenager who’s a dancer just like his mother.

Remus isn’t stupid. Crazy, inconsiderate, and crass? Sure. But Remus is not and has never been stupid.

He knows that Roman probably is better off for not having him around.

Remus is loud, disruptive, rude, disgusting, and generally the opposite of what is ‘socially acceptable’. Remus even revels in this fact.

But, It’s not always an easy life to lead. And Remus does want Roman to have an easy life where he knows how good he is.

But, on the other hand, he watched Roman struggle with a dad sized cut out hole in his life.

Remus had become something of a myth in Sideshire. Remus, the horror story author recluse, Isidora Prince’s best friend, Roman’s dad, died in a mysterious car crash.

No one really tells Roman much about Remus. So, Roman had a bit of doubt, which is natural.

And Remus is so incredibly proud of Roman. For everything.

Roman had graduated highschool with a solid three point four grade point average. The kid had started college on time and was happy. Roman worked as a dance instructor in the town he attends college in, teaching kids to dance.

Roman ended up with a supportive boyfriend, Logan. And the two are a good couple, built off of friendship, love, trust, and respect. The stuff of fairytales, even if they do argue a little more than they’d admit.

Remus has learned he can in fact visit dreams, and talk to people that way, he’s had some conversations with Virgil and Isidora that way.

But, Remus thinks it might be time to visit his son. Especially since Virgil and Patton are finally engaged and Roman is thinking about proposing to Logan.

So, that’s how Remus finds himself sitting in Lucy’s diner opposite of his son and his son’s boyfriend. Apparently this is a shared dream between the couple. Works just as well, Remus supposes.

After all, Remus is fairly fond of Logan too.

“Excuse me,” Logan says looking up from his book and where his head had been resting on Roman’s shoulder, “Do we know you? You look very familiar, I regret to say I can not place you however.”

Remus grins wickedly, “You wouldn't I’m a ghost! My corpse is rotting six feet under you twerp!”

Roman looks up, startled, “D-dad?”

Logan tilts his head, “Oh, that makes more sense. Hello Remus. Virgil speaks fondly of you.”

“Dad,” Roman whispers again, grabbing Logan’s arm, “Logan, that’s my dad.”

“I know, I can see dear.” Logan says in an exasperated yet fond voice.

“Hello Roman, you really do have a lot of your mother in you. Izzydory, how is she?”

“Izzy- Mama’s okay, she- she misses you. I miss you- uh- Can I miss you? I never met you.”

“You can miss the idea of someone,” Logan chimes, “And you know very well what Virgil would say about dismissing feelings.”

“Yeah,” Roman nods, “I do.”

Remus hums, turning to Lucy when she comes to take his order, “Can I get a bacon shake with Sardines and coffee grounds?”

Lucy just nods and walks off.

“That’s-” Roman chokes, “That’s gross dad.”

Remus laughs delightedly, “That’s the point!”

“He does things for amusement, not because it is logical.”

“There’s no rhyme or reason to what I do kid, I just do a skiddly boo.” Remus smiles, “So, what’s life like for you in the Bronx kid?”

Roman just stares blankly at his father, “This can't be real, I’ve gotta be dreaming, Lo, darling, I’m dreaming right?”

Logan just sighs, “I had assumed I was, I don’t know Roman, one of us is for sure.”

“You both are, it’s a shared dream,” Remus nods sagely, “You guys could get up to some steamy things since you can share dreams-”

“And as Virgil would say, stop it, fam.” Logan drawls unsure, then signs, shaking his head, “Also, what in the world is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, I just meant you two could use the dreams to have dream sex-”

“Please stop,” Logan groans, putting his face in his hands and making a distressed sound, “Why are you like this? That is your son.”

“I know!” Remus cheers, “So, Roman, any questions?”

Roman stares at Remus, “I- I had so many, but- I can’t remember them now.”

Logan turns and whispers something to Roman.

Roman nods, “That’s right, thanks specs!”

“What’s right kid?” Remus asks.

“Oh, I’ve just always wondered, am I- Am I doing the right thing? I mean, if you’re really Remus, you’ve not seen me my whole life, like, yeah i”m your kid but, I’m not raised by you. Did- Did I do okay? Have I made you proud at least?”

Logan looks rather upset from the question, Remus notes. If the dead man had to guess, he’d say it’s because Logan doesn't like that Roman doubts himself.

And Remus doesn't like it either.

No, he is not being sentimental, shut the hell your mouth.

Remus tilts his head, “I’ve been watching you Roman. You to Logan, but Ro, kid, mijo, you’ve done well.”

Roman’s face is almost comical to Remus, wide eyes, mouth quirked up, eyebrows drawn up. A twinge of relief in the breath Roman lets out. Remus thinks he looks like an overly excited puppy. But that’s Remus’ over excited puppy.

Logan smiles gently, hidden almost. Remus does think it’s interesting how similar Logan is to Virgil.

“Really?” Roman breathes out, sounding even more like an overly excited puppy.

“I very much doubt him to be lying Roman, your mother has never put up with liars before, I doubt she would have in the father of her child.” Logan says simply, well, simply for the eighteen year old genius.

“Really, kid. You graduated with a good GPA, you got out of Sideshire, you’re a dancer just like your mother, you’re brave, and just, and kind, but don’t tell anyone I said any of this sappyniess. And kid, Roman, you’re doing good.”

“Thank you,” Roman says softly.

“You should not thank him Ro,” Logan scoffs, “He said the truth, it’s not like he offered to walk you down the aisle at your wedding.”

“Our wedding,” Roman says quickly, “My wedding will be ours.”

Logan blinks, flushing steadily, “Uh-”

“Hopefully!” Roman chimes, “I mean to hopefully!”

“God you’re obnoxiously cute, you know that?” Remus rolls hie eyes, “I’m sure you’ll both be married forever to each other and have some sappy loving relationship.”

“Thanks? I think.” Logan sighs, shaking his head.

“Hey, dad?” Roman starts, “Uh, got any life advice?”

“Save time by putting toothpaste in your food, use bottle caps as orange holders, get a toilet seat and use it to put your plate on when you eat! And, don’t try to fight with Izzy unless whatever you're fighting about really matters, because she is a stubborn woman and you’ll be tired by the end of the argument, and probably have lost.”

“Uh-”

“The bit about your mom sounds accurate, but she’s nice and might listen?” Logan sighs, shaking his head.

“How do you use a toilet seat- never mind I don’t want to know.”

Lucy comes back, setting Remus’ abomination of a milk shake down.

Remus thanks her, turning his head to look at Roman.

“God, you really got your mama’s pretty, you know that? I mean, you look like me some, but god.”

“I- You thought mama was pretty?” Roman blinks, “I’d always thought you were gay, they always said-”

“Kid, I’m gay, not blind.” Remus chuckles, “But yeah, your mom’s pretty kid.”

“Yeah,” Roman sighs, she is.”

“You’re about to wake up because of an alarm you set because you, my friend, have an early shift today. I’m proud of you kid, you’re doing good. I’ll talk to you again, later. Okay?”

“Dad?” Roman blinks, “Are you really here?”

“I’m dead, but yeah, I’m here.”

“Thanks dad.”

“I love you kid,” Remus sighs, “Good luck on your test tomorrow!”

Roman blinks startled but fades from the dream, leaving just Logan.

Logan looks at Remus and snorts darkly, “This isn't at all awkward, you know, my boyfriend’s dead dad in Lucy’s diner. Not to mention that you’re Virgil’s best friend.”

“Yeah, probably word that I’m your uncle and your boyfriend’s dad,” Remus snorts, “But I like weird.”

“Uh, uncle?!”

“Yeah, you’re basically Virgil’s kid, meaning that since I’m basically his brother, that I’m basically your uncle!” Remus cackles, “I thought you were the smart one!”

“It depends on the kind of intelligence,” Logan sighs, “I’ll admit I lack some of the more, say, social knowledge. But, I have dad and Roman at least.”

“Yeah, well, you're a good kid to Logan.”

“Thanks.”

“Be good to my baby Logan,” Remus says darkly, “Be good to my baby or I’ll figure out how to ruin your entire life.”

Logan looks up to Remus, “If I were to be bad to Roman, I’d have ruined my life myself. Because, he is my everything, as stupid and sappy as that sounds.”

Remus nods, “Good. You’ll make it through you know you two will make it out together.”

“Good.” Logan hums, tilting his head, “You're an asshole though. You really hurt a lot of the people we both care for.”

“Ballsy,” Remus smirks, “Calling the dead father of your boyfriend that. I knew I liked you!”

“Very few people seem to,” Logan shrugs, “But the whole dying and destroying Ms. Prince and Virgil and leaving Roman to be in the dark is really my only complaint against you.”

“Y’know, I did regret not being able to be there for them, but Roman especially. He’s my baby Logan, I know you don’t have kids, but, there’s just something about them.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Yeah, well, I should go.”

“Probably so. And Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“If you really can talk to people through dreams, don’t leave Roman alone, he’d like you to talk to him. And, maybe talk to Virgil and Ms.Prince some too.”

“Of course. Later dork. Dork means- You’re gone.”

Remus shakes his head as the dream dissolves around him, a bitter laugh leaving him.

Remus made sure to speak to his loved ones every so often, the first time he visited Isidora after Logan had told him too it had been ten years and she had cried a little when she woke up.

Virgil had insulted Remus the whole dream that Remus had visited the emo music loving man.

Remus watches Virgil and Patton’s wedding, glad to watch the entire thing and see his best friend happy. Remus notices that Roman is the best man for Virgil, but only because Logan was Patton’s best man. The younger couple gave a nice speech that called attention to the fact that this wedding has been a long time in the works.

Virgil and Patton’s first dance is sweet and too sappy for Remus’ taste but okay.

Remus nearly screams when Roman and Logan get engaged, because, like the dorks they are, they propose at the same time.

Logan and Roman got reneged on their fifth anniversary, in the gazebo, under the stars. Remus had proposed first, because this was his plan. But Roman pulled out his own ring and asked Logan.

Because the two are entirely too cute.

Remus gloated to them next time he spoke to them both, he called it after all.

Roman and Logan’s wedding is a year and a half later, over the summer between their junior and senior years in college.

It’s a bigger affair than Virgil and Patton’s had been, but not the largest wedding.

The whole town came, along with Logan’s grandparents, and a few friends from the boys’ own colleges.

Roman and Logan had stared at each other sappily the whole vow giving, making stupid cow eyes.

But, Remus creamed the loudest cheer out of anyone at that wedding when the two kissed and sealed the deal. He caught Isidora and Virgil looking around, then sharing a glance and a bitter laugh, a mutter of Remus’ name.

Roman and Logan’s first dance, per Roman’s selection, was a stupidly sappy song, for a pair of stupidly sappy new husbands. Husbands, God, Roman was married now. To his highschool sweetheart no less, his small town highschool sweetheart.

Remus would say something arguably rude about the whole sappy ordeal, if it wasn’t Roman’s wedding.

A few years down the line, after Logan and Roman graduate, they buy a house in Sideshire, adopting a kid. And oh, Remus has a grandchild now.

Virgil and Patton went to family dinners on Fridays with Emilie and Richard Sanders, Logan and Roman going as well. And somehow, Remus is glad that his saps have each other.

As much as Remus misses his friends and his family, as much as he wishes he could be there for them in the flesh, he’s proud of them no matter what. Even if they are stupidly sappy.

But, Remus looks forward to reuniting with Isidora and Virgil, and officially meeting the rest. One day, but hopefully, not soon.

#WYLIWF verse #logince #moxiety #platonic lamp #Sympathetic! Remus #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #sanders sides #Ghost! Remus Sanders

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collxpsedhexrt · 5 years ago

Text

Matchup tingsss 🥺👉👈

just a warning i type this in a shit post format bc im too scared to talk about myself in a grammatically correct manner because i hate myself

huge note: my type is BIG w big ol shoulders and big and tall and did i mention big so yeah cuddles ok thanks bye i also updated a photo of me- bc i suck at describing my appearance

👀

👄

ok so anyways lets a gO

NOTE: i dont label my sexuality sorry idc who to swing for ion like swinging i like hugging thanks ok bye also im EXTREMELY mentally and emotionally unstable haha ok thanx 🥺😳💅

꧁𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎꧂

I am 163cm and 190lb (I am also very peculiar about knowing my exact measurements, height, and weight all the time?? Confusion???)

I am one pasty ass bitch despite being (excuse the lele pons moment) LaTiNa👁👄👁,,, I have very long warm black hair that is either wavy or borderline kinky curls no in between,,,, I have amber eyes and have FrEcKlEs everywhere but not like super intense,,, i could probably put a photo (and i will at the end-) bc idk how to describe my ugly ass morbidly obese bleached walrus headass face tbh??

Not to be an annoying basic bitch but i supposedly have an hourglass figure but im more plump so ig i have a more motherly appearance- idk tbh my body dysmorphia says i look like patrick star on my 600lb life so lets get poggers in the chat, tea?? tea sis?? who’d knock me tf up im ugly doe ahaha 👁👄👁

꧁𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢꧂

hngh i never stop apologizing- even if u knock me down multiple times ill keep going back to you and forgiving you, and thats on daddy issues

im an empath and like a lot of spiritual stuff like tarot and stuff,,, wont get too into it bc im inexperienced

GIFTED.CHILD.BURNOUT.

also bc i like gaming i can be “one of the bros” and tbh i LOVE being a semi-stereotypical jock-like gamer boy like “oHH YEASAH *crushes soda can on my head* GAMING TIME BOOOYYYYSSS” and i kinda forget im a girl sometimes bc i (gross warning) can like,,, burp wit da bois 😳👉👈,,,,

I am an INFJ-T (the T means im a shitshow!) and ion wanna get too much into my uh,,, issues w/ eating,,,, but basically lets say it causes a lot of dizziness on my end but like im still obese so its ok lol

also im like,,,,, the runt of the group like literally nobody likes me (at least thats what i tell myself aHEM-)

and also i have eXTREEEEEEEME trust issues like holy fuck nobody can catch a break

Oh shit wait i should say idk what i am in terms of sexuality literally nothing fits me ahaha but i am an afab female lady girl as far as i know bc im not currently in a safe place to explore these things, Jimbo!

also im so sorry for being messy im spacing things out so it can be an organized mess im so so sorry i love you anf thank you for taking your time to read this i love you and appreciate you!!

I am a libra sun, and a pisces moon and rising so that means im a crybaby bitch but to the third power (^3)

oh shit yeah im also a hufflepuff

basically i like to make everyone laugh and im not good with serious shit but when it comes down to it sometimes i can take on a maternal role when comforting friends but u will never get me to admit it..... wait-

꧁𝙷𝚘𝚋𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜꧂

ART ART AND MORE ART OH MY GOD FUCK OH GOD OH FUCK SO MUCH ART- im specifically into the character design and i actually plan on going into game development in coolegg

👁👄👁👉👈

i havent sang seriously in like,,,, years tho bc my choir teacher kicked me out the choir bc my brother was having a life saving surgery the day of a performance anD I NEVER FORGOT IT KAREN. meaning ion let shit go like that bc im an insecure and emotionally broken biTCH

ok i love games- from little big planet, outlast 1/2, detroit become human, beyond two souls, TO OVERWATCH YES I LOVE YOU OVERWATCH, and aminal crossigng uwu

ok so anyways i mean yeah uh,,, i also like writing poetry sometimes and writing but im like yuri (ddlc) and cant help but be borderline pretentious with using over complicated words despite my shit grammar here lol

but yeah

i also live on a farm and i love taking care of my chickens duckies turkies andn pheasants mvmvmbm,,,, i lvoe themn,,,,fhfjdjd,,, OMG I USED TO HAVE GOATS AND GUINEA HENS BUT FUCKINGNG CORONA VIRUS MADE IT HARD TO CARE FOR THEM SO WE HAD TO SELL THEM AND HMMMMMMM ANGERY

but on another note i hav doggies and uwu!!! they v cute best dogeis ever 100/10 recommend these dogies,,,,

꧁𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜꧂

im a hermit and quarantine is just fun to me

I have a high pitched voice so my friends deemed me the god of anime voice thank u

But honestly i find my voice creepy, it’s as if my voice is ghostly and haunting. That’s in real life, but say we called on discord.... I’m loud and obnoxious but i always make people laugh, only when im on a call like that does my personality change so much.

im an amazing host tbh,,, “Hey- I have tea, coffee, coffee with foam, water, milk, juice, soda, and i could make you some food!” “Do you want some popcorn? Are you sure? Do you need a blanket? Would you like for me to turn on the humidifier?” I WILL SPOIL PPL ROTTEN WITH LOVE AFFECTION FOOD AND DRINKS GALORE

“hhnngh,,, maybe if im good enough of a host it will fill the void,,,”

oh also i have a weird accent bc im puerto rican

👁👄👁✨

UPDATE: ADDED LIKES/DISLIKES!!! and love tings

꧁𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎꧂

my love language is physical touch mainly but i can channel it through making food n stuffs uwu

I rarely if ever fall in love. but when i do, i crash hard. I become putty in the person’s hands, willing to take (metaphorical) beating after beating and insults and cruelty just for their love to be reciprocated. I become totally helpless and obsessive, memorizing their schedule and things they like. Treasuring every memory of when we can be physically close to one another, platonically or not... I become my “best self” and my performance rate drastically increases, but my mental state drastically decreases. I become horribly depressed and anxious, always making meticulously calculated movements and always showing that im willing to support them with everything.

I particularly have a thing for tall guys with big shoulders.

꧁𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜/𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜꧂

OK THIS IS UNDERRATED BUT I LOOOVE PEWDIEPIE PLEASE DONT HATE ME I JUST LOVE HIS HUMOR ANDN,,,,, 🥺👉👈

god i just- idk i have mixed feelings abt amberlynn reid bc obviously shes super hurt n stuff but shes done so much crap i just HNNGNHH,,,, ANGERY,,, but i show support sometimes but i aint ever giving her my money by subscribing

I also like (cue the angry mob) fnaf-

homestuck and harry potter r also LIFE

i dont like when ppl are egotistical unless theyre charming,,,, bc if theyre charming i 100% feed their ego.

i HATE when people do self destructive things (IM A FUCKING HYPOCRITE) like “NO- nO dont fRICKIN do that- BAD. here, let me make you some food...”

anyways heres that promised picture if this ugly mug

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