#basically one season per night

[oonajaeadira]

Patricio Keeps a Journal, Pt. 1: Winter

Good. Things. Take. Time. is a series that grew out of prompts–the whisper of a character, the asks of readers. And now, to get myself back into PATS’s head, the prompts are coming from @fanfticionoverload’s Seasons of Life challenge.

What you’re about to read are some excerpts from Patricio’s journal. Heads up they probably won't make much sense if you haven't read the ongoing series.

Each excerpt is just that–snippets that pertain to the story, taken from his presumed wider journal, each notated where it lands in the series and follows the chronology of the series.

The rules of the challenge ask for 250 words per prompt. I thought it would be a little less forced if I didn’t worry so much about that, so some may fall short of that number. And I’ll say that these aren’t heavily edited nor are they anything other than basic reactions, precisely because I wanted them to feel like the unfiltered thoughts one writes in a journal.

Let’s say that it was Shell’s orders for him to keep a journal in the first place. If his practice is his way of dealing with his demons, if he’s not going to go to traditional therapy, then “the least you can do is just offload before bed, and not the kind of offloading you do with your dick. I’m not gonna read it, but I’ll want to see words on those pages. Write a fucking play for all I care, write a manifesto about your love of pasta, I don’t give a shit what. Just write.”

I don’t have anything to write. I’m not a fucking poet. Shell says use the pen, get the words out of your head, just write anything. Anything. Anything. Tables have turned. Now I’m the one practicing letting it all out. Trying not to think too hard.  Anything.

EXCERPT 1: SNOW

TIMELINE: a few days before Good. Things. Take. Time.

…

#39 gifted me four tickets to the game at her last session. It’s Neils’ birthday. I’ll surprise him and Dan with a guy’s night out.

Got a new client coming in on Thursday. #48. I wasn’t going to approve her. Nothing in her application hints at any lingering trauma that she can’t just get treated at a legit clinic. But Shell was pushy about this one. She's got a knack for these things and hasn’t been wrong yet. Official referral diagnosis: pain is psychological tension from a recent(?) divorce. I guess it’s worth a shot. If nothing else, divorcees are usually just in need of a good fuck so it’s an easy fix. Good photo. I like her style. She’s going to make pretty faces.

Thinking about taking some time off after that. Rare confluence of three clients ending their run at the same time, it’s slow season at the office and the guys can handle a week without me, I should get out of town. Someplace quiet. Or fuck, I don’t know, someplace distracting where I can get out of my head. Maybe I should book a massage. Look at me, I’m hilarious. Who massages the masseuse? I’ll have Shell find me something. Keep it interesting. Place yer bets: seedy and cheap or golden toilets and happy endings? As long as it’s somewhere warm.

Renee posted the pictures from her honeymoon. Skiing in the Alps. She always used to hate the snow. Guess people change. Change can be a good thing. 

She’s better off. 

___

EXCERPT 2: SCARF

TIMELINE: The night of Good. Things. Take. Time.

…

Shell hit the jackpot on this one. Perfect plaything. She’s like I custom ordered a client. Recurring cluster knots all down her starboard teres major, needs a hand getting in under the port shoulder blade…can’t do it alone. Needs my hands. She needs me. Follows directions, trusts completely. Has a good imagination. That will open up more in time. I expect a challenge out of this one. Surprised the shit out of me with the beautiful thing though. Maybe shouldn’t have let her have that. Maybe shouldn’t have gone down on her. It’s fine. She’s clean. Tastes good smells good ass for days. I can get a good handful. Everywhere.

And perfect inside. Tight but not too tight, good control with the right assistance, takes direction like a dream. I’ll be able to get her to sing if she keeps listening. Mierda, her skin. My hands want to eat it. Oil it up and map it out and scarf it down. Her muscle structure is    -just-    amazing. I haven’t been this amped in months. This one hits the spot.

Giving her Thursday across the board might have come off too eager. Well, if that didn’t, offering up extra days on call probably did. Jackass.

Not gonna worry about that tonight. Bowling with the guys tomorrow night. Hope they’re ready to eat their damn balls. I’m fucking invincible.

She called me beautiful. She’s [sentence scratched out] 

Forgot to note in her file–she said she hasn’t had anyone make her come in over a year even though info says she’s only been divorced a few months. What kind of an asshole just walks away from that her? How could anyone share a bed or a house or anything with that and resist for a year? She deserves to get fucked every day. Why wouldn’t you want someone that just falls into you so willingly and fucks so pretty? Great. Now I’m angry. Not my concern. Just my gain.

___

EXCERPT 3: COZY 

TIMELINE: weekend evening, after installment #2, relieving period cramps

…

Keep thinking about Thursday. It’s not about the blood. It is and it isn’t. It’s obviously that she needed relief. It’s good to see her trusting. That can be tricky for some women. Beaten into them that they have to hide what their body does. It’s a body. It’s a unique mechanism. It has shit and blood and needs a good release now and then. Or every day for some people...another truth for some of us that the world wants hidden away.

The blood’s messy. It’s primal. It’s brutal and nobody blinks an eye if it comes from a punch to the face or a slice of the thumb. But the minute it comes from the minute it shows you what  a woman’s body is capable of… But it’s also the harshness of the color, a signal that if there’s pain then it’s real. It’s a helpful focus.

She just LETS me. There's beauty in that pliability. She trusts, she follows, she heals. The way her face just relaxes when the knots are gone. It’s almost as good as the orgasm itself. Beautiful.

Got her all warmed up in the bath, all cozy in bed. Fell asleep like a worn-out kitten and I had an urge to kiss her forehead. Poor thing just needed it today. Successful session.

___

EXCERPT 4: FIREPLACE 

TIMELINE: a couple of weeks later, evening, after installment #3, the treatment for migraine and anxiety AND includes this six sentence ficlet

…

Well shit. There’s a coincidence. She wouldn’t believe me if I told her.

Thursday came in tonight tight as a screw, migraine a good 7 or 8. I had to take it slow. Asked her to focus on some bright spots in her life, like her favorite things. I might have guessed the animals and reading, but the fanfiction was a surprise. Cute. It was best not to talk about what was causing the stress because

Her family coming to stay.

Fuck if I don’t sympathize. 

Mama got here two days ago and all she can do is complain about her hotel and American food and how everyone speaks too fast for her to keep up. It’s cold here. The hotel should have a fireplace. Why don’t you take time off Patricio? You have an extra bedroom, why can’t your mama sleep there?

I love her. But I get it. There are just some boundaries that are hard. I get you, Thursday.

Preciosa.

Fucked her five ways til Sunday. She fucked ME five ways till Sunday.. She drew blood. Didn’t even care. Mark me up, girl. Glad I could help, but damn that might have been more mutually beneficial than I’d originally planned.

___

EXCERPT 5: HOT CHOCOLATE 

TIMELINE: night of installment #4, with the undergarment ripping and the thigh-highs

…

I didn’t expect to get to play this much. I’m usually so focused on the pain and making sure the client can come in their condition that there’s not a lot of room for fun and surprises. I got to take Shell out last weekend and might have bought her too many beers and pull-tabs. It took her about three bottles to get profound. She wants to know who "therapies the therapist" and told me I should remember that it’s okay to put my own priorities first sometime. She said that people in the industry of care need to be taken care of too. She said it’s okay to have a client that gives as good as she gets. Then she went home and threw up and texted me the next day that she’s drinking nothing but hot chocolate from now on. Haha

Shit. Thursday feels good when she walks out of here. She looks like a million bucks. I did that. I DO that. THAT’s what I need. So yeah. Why shouldn’t I enjoy that? Cute tonight. She wanted me to rip her panties. All she had to do was ask, but I think she was embarrassed to?

So the new diagnosis is lack of confidence and the treatment is for her to speak up for what she wants. We’re going to get her to a place where she can ask–or demand what she needs. We’ll work on her trusting that I’ll give her anything she wants–anything. 

She’ll be able to walk out of here and conquer the world when I’m done with her.

___

EXCERPT 6: FREEZING 

TIMELINE: a couple of weeks after the previous entry

...

[….] and Niels can go to hell though because I don’t care how low key it is or how good the whiskey is, I’m not giving up my Thursdays to fill in the hole in his poker night. His basement is freezing and I have warmer places to be.

Although speaking of, Thursday canceled again. It’s been a couple of weeks. Crunch time at work for her I guess. Her portal messages seem pretty stressed. She’s apologetic about missing sessions. I can tell her she doesn’t need to apologize, I’m getting paid whether she shows or not. And honestly, it just means we’re going to have to work that much harder to get her malleable again and I can hardly complain about that. A build up’s a hell of a thing. As long as she doesn’t mess up her rhombs again. We were just making headway on that. I should ask her about her desk chair.

But I’d be lying if I said that I gave a shit about the pay. I’m allowed to enjoy my clients and be disappointed when I don’t get to see them.

At least Jean’s back on Friday. It will be nice to see her again. Now that her latest surgery’s all healed up, we can find her some good positions for her to take home. I know her partner’s skittish about the discovery phase. But she’s almost done and when the reconstruction’s over, he’ll thank me for it. He SHOULD thank me for it, she’s got a good laugh and good tits.

Jean’s a perfect example of learning to speak up for herself. I can do the same for Preciosa. Lucky for her she doesn’t have Jean’s level of pain to work through. But she’s gotta show. up. for. it. Come on, girl. I got you.

___

EXCERPT 7: MARSHMALLOW

TIMELINE: directly after installment #5, all pent up and feral

…

Now THAT. Was a successful fuck. We’re making headway here. Little slapping, little biting, she got a good few hair yanks in there. She’s learning that not only am I not a marshmallow…neither is she. Good girl. Pretty high praise response, but she’s also got a little fight in her. She’s a switch and doesn’t even know it. She will. 

There were some real emotions tonight, real anger, real tears. But when she let go I nearly wept myself. It was beautiful. She’s working too hard and she knows it. But she also knows I’ve got her when she does. Hopefully that will preempt some of the stress next time. Not even upset about that shoulder blade. We’ll just start from the beginning on that.

[....]

Just reminded me of Renee nagging about working too hard. I just remembered that I had a dream about her a few nights ago. Not really about her. She was in the background somewhere and not even angry that I didn’t stop to say hello. Then she picked up her purse and left. The light kind of shifted like, I don’t know. Felt like it was the last time I’d see her. Not in a bad way. 

It’s good. Like a door really closing.

Maybe I do work too hard. But I like it. It’s who I am. It’s my choice.

____

PATS in winter by @d4rm4nd4

SERIES MASTERLIST

[ofskysanddragonsandstars]

As many TBB fans, we really missed out on Echo becoming a true member of Clone Force 99. Like yeah, the unresolved trauma, not to mention Fives, but we all known Echo is a little shit, and has been a little shit since his cadets days.

Let's explore this a little more.

Show me Echo finally getting to spar with someone, anyone, and just pulls a nasty move to win. You know, the kind of move that is downright dirty? We all know what i'm talking about. But show me TBB standing there in shock that this twig of a reg just took down someone twice his weight. He does not yet have all his muscle mass back yet! This was supposed to be a warm up for Echo. A way to build up his strength. Instead they get reminded that Echo is an ARC trooper and he has been through a lot.

Show me Echo trying to stop a cafeteria fight by reciting the reg manuals, saying "per regulation, fighting is not allowed in the cafeteria, and if you would have taken the time to read the reg manuals, you would have known that. Can you even read?" and Hunter furiously trying to deescalate the situation and failing. Echo gets sucker punched but the other clone does not get off as easily. Apparently he had to spend the night in the med bay. Echo only feels a little bit guilty.

Show me Echo matching Crosshair's snarkiness with his own. Remember "Bravo for Bravo Squad"? But instead of being angry with each other, it starts a beautiful friendship between the ARC and Snark troopers. The rest of TBB don't get how there friendship works and just have to roll with it.

But overall, let's not forget that ARC training happens on Kamino. Show me Echo being called up by the ARC trainer for demonstration purposes. Afterall, it's not everyday a war hero gets to help train new ARCs (except for Alpha-17, perhaps). Show me a bunch of new ARC recruits looking in astonishment because "holy Prime, that's ARC Echo of the 501st! He withstood the worst torture imaginable! He basically made half the 501st tactics with The Captain Rex of the 501st!" only for Echo to just crush there poor little preconceptions. Because this little shit keeps it real with these recruits, explaining the reality of going on a mission with a zero success rate, of going through torture, of having to build up physical strength to the point that no cyber implants hurt anymore. Echo does not hold back and has no filter, his words are practically as blunt as the dullest blade and it can hurt just as much. But even through that, no recruit can beat him in a spar. Yet. It's become a new challenge within ARC training.

Of course, I am a sucker for Mom Echo during season 1 and 2, but let me see Echo being a little shit before that! Let me see Hunter calling Cody one night after a successful mission asking "what is up with this reg? Are all ARC troopers like this?" And since Cody has known the little shits that make up the Domino Twins he just solemnly nods his head while sniggering on the inside. He calls Rex afterwards. Rex just laughs.

[mos22111]

🚨💔Dont skip,, please help my family you could save our life!!🚨🚨🍉🇵🇸

https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/JX8BZM5ASL69S (20$)

https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/4NUSQX9C6QUL8 (10$)

https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/UGK6NS29LXRGL (5$)

Hello, my name is Mustafa Moein, I am 29 years old. I lost my father when I was 14 years old. I left my studies forever to support my family and because of my young age, I had to provide them with everything they needed, but I endured this life.

was able to gather my daily sustenance with difficulty without everything to feed my mother and sisters after living day and night working to meet some of their necessities. Life has been harsh with me since I was affected. I used to work by the day. Here in Gaza, the number of working hours is not less than 12 hours a day.

Sometimes it is more than that and is equivalent to $10, and sometimes it is less, and this is due to the nature of the work, and it is not enough for more than one meal per person per day, given the number of members in my family, which consists of 7 people.

.

I lived my childhood in misery. I tried a lot to make us a special source, but without any benefit. Here in the city of Gaza, the conflict every year. There is bombing, destruction, and collapse of the economy and loyalty to prices. In short, there is no future for us. We are always threatened by everything that responds.

But after a long performance and my life was wasted without space I reached the age of 23 and I did not live the comfortable and happy life that most young people live at the beginning of this age, but in this year of my life I became famous to see life from a glimmer of hope because I had a friend who was able to open a used clothing showroom and he asked me to work with him for a daily wage

There are working hours of not less than 14 hours for a wage of between 15 dollars and sometimes more than that and I may bear with the clothing of my little ones from every beginning of the summer or winter season and what I bought to provide more for my basic family I was happy with something despite the little

I did not see my mother or sisters except in the morning when I went to work, and at that time they were always in need of me because my sisters were epileptic, and my work began at (9 in the morning until 11 at night), until I took up this work and began to pick grapes when I was 25 years old.

They were selected by supporters of those who are about to get married. He also worked for a daily wage. He left us a house that he owned before his death in a residential building. It was a 3-bedroom apartment, a bedroom for my mother and sisters, and a staircase that was mine. This house was completely destroyed during the collective memory war.

In the second year of my marriage, my sister passed away. She was a special needs patient who had epilepsy. A month after her death, my sister gave birth to my first child. I had been dreaming of seeing my first child. I had prepared many clothes for him, and he had many toys and a special section in the “for children” department. In fact, my first child became everything I owned, but my joy was not complete, as the house was completely destroyed.

But after the second month of my child’s birth, something unexpected happened. October 7th came, the first day of the genocide. Since October 7th, they started leaving completely and in a new, cruel way. I was afraid for my child and the rest of the partners from the sounds of the vehicles and the flying dust left by the missiles. I was afraid that something bad would happen to them, but I had no choice at that time but to surrender to the reality.

The next day, October 7, we were forced to leave the house while planes were bombing the residential towers next to us with tons of explosives. It was a barbaric bombing, a genocide. I saw the houses being destroyed and the people inside them. I saw the roads being destroyed, death in all its forms. I saw the bodies flying and I saw bodies being burned.We sat in the streets, we slept on the sidewalks, and the smell of blood was everywhere. We did not know what to do. We did not find shelter. We were forced to spend the night in the streets. My family and I spent days carrying my two-month-old baby, and my heart was breaking and I was worried about them all.

After a short period of suffering in everything, I remember in the second month of the genocide the bombing stopped for several days to check on my house, perhaps it had not been bombed, despite the destruction and genocide that I saw on my way home. I was hoping to see it safe, and after a long effort walking, my heart was broken, I reached my house, which had been held together and had become a pile of rubble.

Our lives continued to be displaced, fighting hunger, thirst, diseases, and the loss of relatives, friends, loved ones, and neighbors. We lost those who used to extend a helping hand to us when needed. This genocide made us lose everything we used to see. It is beautiful that this genocide made us lose everything we love. It made us lose the simplest ways of life, unfortunately.

Three months after the genocide, my wife and child were deported to the south of the Gaza Strip. During this period, I was unable to reach news about them, as communication with Gaza City was cut off for several months throughout the north. After a period of time, I learned that they were alive, but not well, as they could not be found. There was no food or shelter, and they did not find anyone to help them, and I could not do anything for them because of the lack of what I had and because of the genocide that occurred.

And here again, life became more harsh with me due to the lack of food and the abundance of hunger and thirst. I did not find shelter, clothes, or covers for my mother and my sisters, here and there, my wife and my child. Everything became expensive due to the genocide and the prevention of the entry of basic resources, food, and public and private needs.

Every day, I face life with difficulty since before the 7th of October, and it has increased due to this genocide, but I try to be the support in everything for my mother (56 years old) and my sister (Asmaa 26 years old), who is deaf and also suffers from epilepsy and has seizures, and I cannot find a medicine for her, and if it exists, it is expensive. And my sister (Amani 18 A.D.) and (Aya 15 A.D.), my wife (Tasnim 19 A.D.), and my child (Taym 1 year and 4 months).

I try to get them even one meal to share, even if it is small. I try to get them clean, disease-free water, and to get them blankets and clothes that protect them from the harsh winter cold. Now the cold has begun to kill us again, and I am extremely worried and afraid of them from the winter cold.

Since the seventh of October, we have been displaced more than 20 times after our house and the homes of our relatives, whom we sought refuge in at the beginning of the genocide, were bombed. We are now in an unorganized displacement center. We suffer from skin diseases, and we suffer from a lack of healthy water and a lack of potable water. We have no place other than this crowded place. I am displaced and there is no support for my mother, my sisters, my wife and my child except me and I am now unable to do the slightest thing.

🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘

‏

‏will make a difference🙏🍉 be the one who helps us

Our goal is to get donations for my sister’s treatment and to try to get a house rent for me, my sisters, and my wife Please provide for their necessary needs. Please do not ignore me. I need you. A few dollars will make a difference.

Evrey donation can make a real difference and give us hope until this war ends

[mask-of-prime]

TLG: Final 10 Episodes Sketch Dump

September 2nd once again fell on a Labor Day, like it once did when the final 10 episodes of TLG dropped on WatchTLG (due to its early release on the old DisneyNOW app). The alignment of the exact day, month, and holiday five years later put me in the spirit to sketch away as I rewatched these episodes.

I was there when the countdown on the WatchTLG site had about an hour left. I hadn't seen a full episode of TLG until that point because I at the time thought I wouldn't be into it. I saw the synopses for these episodes leaked somewhere online and was doubtful yet VERY hopeful that the one with Vitani's Lion Guard was going to be a real episode simply because I wanted to see her in new content, regardless of my familiarity with the show.

When I binge-watched these final episodes with a friend, my relationship with the show improved as I went to watch the rest of the show over the next few months. I was so grateful to see so much content and worldbuilding for the TLK universe

Sketch descriptions under the cut:

1. Friends to the End

I've said this before in a review of this episode, but whether or not the writers intended this, their portrayal of irritability brought on by an anxiety attack is astounding. Kion's anxiety is piled up more and more when he's in a hurry to find a cure at the Tree of Life, Bunga repeatedly tells him he's becoming like Scar, and the rest of the group just "blind leading the blind"-in their journey SO badly because they're a bunch of unsupervised freshman-aged kids who are in their "Well I wouldn't go THAT far" or "Can I be the devil's advocate" phase.

This situation of fearing becoming like a shitty family member and being told you are by people when you're already in a vulnerable state is just SO vile and unfortunately so real. I found myself relating hard to this episode due to Kion's valid af anger in this episode, which is why I had to draw Kion claiming his "Don't you just wanna go apeshit??" era.

Kion is basically me throughout this episode and the entire first half of Season 3. It is SO HARD to get through this season sometimes when these same couple of lines keep coming at least once per episode. As soon as I hear Fuli saying "Uhh... Kion?" or "KION!!" I know exactly what's coming.

2. The Tree of Life:

Since we never get to see Sahasi and Ananda's color palettes they had in life, I took what I could make out from their spirit forms as well as some creative liberties, and came up with what they may have looked like on Earth.

Ananda is where Baliyo gets his freckles and dull, dark pelt, and where Rani gets her purple pupils, red nose, and dark tail. Sahasi is where Rani gets her richer pelt and where Baliyo gets his nose gradient, multicolored mane, and lighter tail color.

Fun Fact: According to some email responses from a member of the team who worked on TLG, they said that Sahasi was meant to be Janna's son, which for me, puts an end to a debate I had in my head where I was stuck between either him or Ananda being Janna's child: On one hand, I liked the idea of Sahasi and Surak being the foils of Mufasa and Scar, but also liked the idea of Ananda as Janna's daughter and heir since they looked so alike, as well as it solidifying the martriarchy headcanon I have for the Night Pride. Though the team member didn't straight-up provide Sahasi's relation to Janna and Surak as an absolute fact, rather it was simply the gist they got from the creation of Sahasi's character, it's an answer from a team member at all, which I can absolutely settle with. I decided to give him a similar fur color to Surak because of that.

3. The River of Patience:

I just HAD to doodle eepy Kion. It's like the one part of this episode that sticks with me outside the wholesome therapy dynamics and Kion heroically holding the flower between his teeth. This is basically him but if he fully succumbed to falling asleep waiting for the log.

4. Little Old Ginterbong:

Can I just say that I fucking LOVE Mama Binturong's character?? She's absolutely insane and constantly looks like an addict that needs her fix. She makes me nostalgic for some reason, and I think it's gotta do with her Mama Gunda vibes (which is odd because I wasn't even that young when I saw Tarzan II). I had to draw her doing the thing lol

5. Poa the Destroyer:

All I could think about throughout this episode besides the rare Evil Beshte is how insufferable Pinguino is. I mean it in kind of a good way, his personality is so ridiculous that he's made me laugh a few times.

6. Long Live the Queen:

Surprisingly, the sketch regarding this episode is probably the least expected subject matter out of anything I could've put here: An idea that's been forming in my head for a bit now was the idea of Bunga and Binga continuing the fostering/babysitting business of Bunga's "uncles". Bunga is shown to be a natural with young animals in a few episodes, and it continues in the subplot of this episode where he watches over Varya's cubs.

7. The Lake of Reflection:

The one thing that viscerally stuck with me in this episode was the unbelievably cute design they gave bby Cheezi. Had to sketch him.

8. Triumph of the Roar:

Obligatory Askari sketch because I actually love drawing him and making headcanons of his era. Looking back... he kinda looks like he's looking down at the events of the bottom drawing in slight disappointment.

9. Journey to the Pride Lands:

Drew Azaad (for what I think might be the first time) with the only thing he seemed to be doing throughout this episode -- taking any opportunity he can to comment about how much better cheetahs are at basically everything. He's fun to draw and I'd like to do more art of him one day.

10. Return to the Pride Lands

This is a sketch of what I deadass thought was gonna happen during this scene the first time I saw this episode lmao. At the time, the previous two episodes were fresh on my mind so I thought Kion was once again going to spam his tornado ability, but with Vitani as his subject for his demonstration. She already knew so little of the Roar as it was, given her absence throughout most of TLG's storyline, but could you imagine what she must've been thinking seeing how much Kion's Roar evolved?

[inchidentally]

hey new landoscar! (sorry tum mobile is being weird so I have to c&p into a new post)

so as per usual, Lando went straight to Max F for support and has been gaming w him - Max even made a little statement to chat and fans in general about how he just wanted Lando to totally forget the race and relax and be distracted:

🧵fray_f1

as far as Oscar, we truly do not get coverage or report of the downtime they spend together! we get mentions of it occasionally or if they're somewhere that other ppl take videos or photos then we see those. but Oscar is an intensely private person and his off-duty time with Lando is included in that.

we know they spent at least part of the night after the race in Vegas last year together and considering that Oscar basically couldn't sleep (he said he rarely can after races) and ended up scrolling a bunch of Lando-related content and left some likes/comments until the early hours - and with Lando being extremely groggy/weak/achy from his crash and hospital visit, a theory some of us have had is that the "shared commiserations" was possibly mutual support rotting in one of their hotel rooms. (side note, Oscar wasn't told until after doing press about the aftermath of Lando's crash.

so that's a solid precedent of them being able to help each other out with these disappointments, especially since Lando had not just Max F there at the same hotel but also Ria and Aarava. so it's not like Oscar was helping out in place of other friends!

but while it's anyone's guess how much or often they spend time together after these mixed/bad races, I do have to point out the group photo

where they omitted the board with Oscar's name and podium position, put Andrea in the middle with the trophy, arranged the Sprint plaques around them while Oscar sat off to the side so that everything looked equal between the two of them. like. whoever's idea that all was, what we saw from Oscar was extreEMELY mellow/subdued about that podium (just a few sad dribbles from his champagne bottle aslsalfjah) and made a hasty exit. even down to the very calm head pats and high fives of the little group from his garage in parc ferme. McLaren didn't force Lando into a post race video and did no real media at all - and all of this Oscar, as always, is happy willing and in some cases fully complicit in doing <3<3

tbh the fact that he's never made Lando or his relationship with Lando a part of his own personal PR (and vice versa) is all part of this easing up on the immense pressure placed on Lando's shoulders ever since McLaren's trajectory hit a sudden and rapid upward trend. the PR load placed on Lando has always been bordering on exploitative of him being a people-pleaser and the suggestion that he's this non-stop party person who is seen as up for any kind of media or publicity... when he simply is not. the little something we've all noticed (and some people are mad or upset about) since pre-season this year where Lando has a calm and self-preservation type reserve sometimes is him learning that an increase in status and success does NOT need to be paid for with giving away any more of himself than he does. Max F has been mirroring that a lot in their streams when he draws firm boundaries during his streams!

but back to today's post-race content: it's nothing to do with giving Lando special treatment, it's acknowledging - as Oscar himself said before they were even teammates- that expectations for Lando are set extraordinarily high and will remain so compared to Oscar for a very long time. and let's remember that Oscar doesn't have to be aware or considerate of any of that !! he could just do his own thing and expect to be treated as any driver would be after a podium! it would not be wrong to view his own career and performance and celebration as separate from his teammate's so long as he isn't rubbing it in or being inconsiderate!

but Lando is special and unique and the stakes for him remain higher for many reasons, not just fighting for second in the WDC! Oscar knows that! Oscar is a good person whose kindness and affection glows softly in the ways he is consistently considerate and knows when to not force something and to be a quiet observant presence who can give people space to determine what they need! it's why literally almost every race weekend has him supplying the word Lando needs or helping him with the GCSE knowledge Lando missed out on bc of being poached so young - and simply the way he stands that little bit behind during press and media and watches Lando rather than letting his gaze and mind wander.

and as someone who knew Max before knowing Lando, if what Lando needs is to escape everything McLaren and F1 related - even Oscar - and return to just being a mate who plays Tarkov, then we know Lando will never have to worry about what that might mean to Oscar or how it will affect him bc it won't. Lando needs to do what makes him feel safe and okay and I don't think it's reaching at all to say Oscar will have a good concept of what that is <3

[donotpush]

Hello there! I've got something for you!

Holiday season is definitely coming to an end (most of my neighbors have taken down all their decorations and that's the sign), and I wanted to say goodbye to holidays and this last year and welcome the new one with three pay per read stories, with, birth, pregnancy, labor, all those things you like ;)

How does a pay per read story works? Basically, these stories are behind a paywall.

Each story is $20, which is a bit less than the starter base for my commissions, and once you pay for a story you get full acces to it. If you want to read all the three of them, you can get them for $50. You can use KO-FI for payment or drop me a DM.

If you like something you see and you want to read the whole story, my DMs are open!

Thank you in advance for your support, and I hope you can enjoy reading these as much as I did writing them <3

Here’s a quick look into the stories:

CHRISTMA'S DAY BABY (PREVIEW)

WORD COUNT: 9k

SUMMARY: Alice, nine months pregnant and ready to pop, goes into labor on Christmas Eve, the very same day it also happens to be her birthday. She’s determined to hold it in until midnight because she refuses to —not even with her little bundle of joy.

fpreg, single overdue baby, f/f main relationship, labor denial, birth denial, clothing birth, supportive partner, grinding on a surface to keep the baby in

THROUGH THE PLEASURE, THROUGH THE FIRE (PREVIEW)

WORD COUNT: 6k

SUMMARY: Jessica: heavily pregnant, overdue and tired of not being able to enjoy life with a huge stomach in the way. The final straw for her it's not being able to enjoy Christmas because she's simply too pregnant. She and Ryan go into a mission of getting this baby out of her in the most enjoyable way possible: lots of sex.

fpreg, single overdue baby, f/m main relationship, explicit sexual relationships, sex during labor, stimulation during birth, orgasmic birth, erotic but not exactly kinky, no birth denial, soft domme female character

NEW YEAR, TWICE TROUBLE (PREVIEW)

WORD COUNT: 7k

SUMMARY: A pregnant man in labor is forced to attend his husband's work New Year party. When his husband makes it clear that he can't ruin the night by pushing those babies out tonight, Carsen spends a night that's supposed to be filled with excitement and jolly trying to hold his twins in, but they definitely have other plans.

cis mpreg, multiples (twins), m/m main relationship, birth denial, labor denial, public birth, bathroom birth, clothing birth, humiliation, anal birth

[lowkeyrobin]

MONTY FINCH ; dating headcanons

summary ; dating hcs w monty

warnings ; none

word count ; 575

masterlist

he's kind of quiet so a lot of times you do most the talking

he rambles when he's stressed/nervous/anxious or when he's rambling about an interest/something he likes

and trust, he rambles a lot because he loves you bro

he's very respectful with boundaries and will NEVER cross them

he's got a whole list in his mind that he constantly checks on before he even moves around you

he's very gentle but he's not infantilizing if you have any mental / physical disabilities

like he's not gonna treat you like a baby, but he will be careful and respectful and help as much as he can

having a panic attack? he's right at your side trying to help. need your medicine site changed? he's at your service with hand sanitizer and everything you need

you were actually kind of oblivious to his advances

you thought he was just being nice by giving you a reading / teaching you about astrology

he'd always somehow find you just at the right time so you could escape your little dead boy detectives + crystal & niko

gonna be honest, you need a break sometimes. it's hard

but you loved going on little late night adventures with him and trying new food and rollerskating with him

but you did catch on to his feelings after he had to literally spell it out for you

you reference inside jokes ALL THE TIME and charles/edwin/crystal/niko never understand

then you remember "oh I have to explain this" when they give you a confused look

you love looking at funny tiktoks together

and cringe ones that deserve a restraining order

you're basically commentary youtubers atp

you make him bracelets as well, whether they be kandi or string or whatever

he wears them all the time

he's given you a couple jackets as well... let's hope esther never finds out (because they're hers. she was not buying him a whole wardrobe after turning him human)

he loves sharing music with you

and he's always begging for aux in the car / to make you listen to a song / etc etc

i see him being a hozier / david kushner / ethel cain / old friends fan

but he relates to a large handful of sleep token songs as well (I have to mention them at any moment I'm sorry)

he usually listens per artist on his playlists but there are some stray songs that are just there that scream him / he loves

like the reason by hoobastank, airhead by honey revenge, and hell by the home team

I'm describing my monty playlist atp... (link on my masterlist (go to playlists then monty finch))

he's a pretty empathetic person

like if he sees you in any sort of non-happy state, he's gonna ask if you're okay and be there for you

he giggles and laughs a lot

you're very funny, you make him laugh a lot

it's cute 😔🫶

he also picked up drawing

so he's always drawing you when you aren't looking / just in his free time

the diego to his frida

he lovesss compliments

giving and receiving

so there's a lot of those between you two

he's genuinely so sweet

he remembers all your interests and things you like and stuff

so if there's a new season of a show you like coming out or a new album from an artist you like, he's gonna be informing you

[fudgechocolatepuff]

his headphones *+:｡.｡

౨ৎ keigos headphones were something that youve been focused on lately…

౨ৎ his new ones spark a warm feeling in your heart. but why? they’re just headphones..

it had been some time since you and keigo started dating, perhaps a month or two, when you had suddenly began a strange fixation on keigo’s headphones. 

whenever he came and crashed at your place for the night, you’d see him stumble through your balcony door with a pair of headphones that you’d never really see him with during the daytime; black sony headphones…

you had first started to notice this because—and you’d never admit it to him but—you thought that the headphones originally paired with keigo’s hero outfit were HIDEOUS! i mean, seriously! yellow for the colour?? he looked liked a goofball with bananas for ears whenever he zoomed around the city patrolling. you never understood how he didn’t care that he was being captured in public with those putrid yellow looking mounds on his ears.

other than your hatred for how they looked, you had also been wondering how they worked. well, obviously you knew that he needed them to fly so that his ears wouldn’t explode going 370 km per hour in the air, but you always had one main question that always came to mind; could he listen to music with them? it would be more than disappointing to you if you found out that he couldn’t. ‘what would even be the point then?’ you’d ask yourself. personally, you couldn’t live a day without music, like, your ears NEEDED that constant ring of melodies and tunes throughout your day, a necessity really.  

so, one night, when keigo tapped at your balcony door and stepped inside with those same black sonys he’d been wearing for the past several weeks, you had asked him from the couch, 

“so.. what’s with those headphones that you’ve been coming in with lately?” 

you tried to make the question sound as normal as possible, but there was no way to mask how specific it was. keigo was in the kitchen in the middle of making some buldak ramen for dinner, you weren’t even sure if he had heard you with those headphones still attached to his head as he stirred the boiling pot, but he turned his head toward you and gave you a bit of a confused-but-also-blank expression, registering the bizarre question. 

an intrigued smile crept its way onto his face as his inital blank expression turned into one of a lazy smile but also curious as his eyes glanced back at the pot as he continued stirring the noodles.

“why do you ask? they’re jus’ headphones.” he asked slyly, playing along with your little investigation, flustering you a bit as you huffed softly, looking away from him and reaching for the remote and turning on the tv in search of a random show that would serve as background noise.

“it’s just that i dont really see you with those ones. do your other ones not work for listening to music?” 

he swiftly popped the seasoning packets open as the noodles absorbed the flavor. “yeah, basically. i figured that these would function better for me since its just more popular. i also got these because of my fans, y’know! have ‘ta keep up with the trends these days.” he flashed you a playful smile while he divided the ramen into two bowls for the both of you , like the multitasker he is.

the two of you remained in a comfortable silence eating the spicy ramen- well, keigo was more devouring it, but who could blame him? he’s had a long day at work and all he would want right now was have his stomach full and take a fat nap with you in his embrace. you chuckled softly to yourself as you watched him slurp his ramen furiously, to which he squinted his eyes at you in a ‘dont judge me,’ type of look. too bad it only made you laugh a bit louder. 

as you picked at your food, you couldnt help but look back at the silly question you asked him. like, seriously- your cheeks even warmed up thinking about it, what was wrong with you? you thought it was so cute though. you thought keigo was cute, with his cute little headphones that actually matched with his cute little style, thank GOD he wasn’t walking around your apartment with those horrid headphones, so yellow and ugly. 

you were brought out of your little hate bubble from a nudge to your arm. you turned to your right to see keigo with a giddy little mischievous smile. oh no.

“also, did i ever mention how well these headphones worked?” 

it was like he KNEW you were thinking about his damn headphones.

“uhh…. i guess not??” your eyes looked up at his grinning face, your brows knitted upwards in confusion. ‘ohmygoodnesswhywonthejustdropitomgomg-‘

he slipped his black sonys off from his neck where they had been resting since they started eating, and put them over your head to cover your ears. he then snatched his phone from his pocket, typing and tapping away when your ears were suddenly filled with the best, most crunchiest, crispiest, heart-filling quality music that you’ve heard. ‘damn. those headphones do sound good.” you thought as the catchy jams of mac demarco poured into your ears. you gave keigo a silly cheery smile, cheeks warmer as ever with your eyes smiling and all as he returned the same sappy grin, his lips a bit crooked in the cutest way as you listened to ‘no other heart’.

soon enough, the two of your infectious smiles broke out into endless giggles as you both thought about the initial stupid topic of headphones. yeah, those disgusting lemon-y headphones could never compare to the euphoric sound of keigo’s new black sonys. 

maybe you’d get a pair for yourself. 

omg this short drabble took seconds to think about in my head but hours to execute 💔 ill get better i promise

[askhezureviews]

Think you’ll ever do a review of Arcane? If you have seen the whole series, what are your basic thoughts on it?

OH HELL YEAH IM WRITING A REVIEW FOR IT AS WE SPEAK

Uhhhhh,,, oh man I'm gonna ramble SOOOoo much about this show it's my most favorite show of all time.

Season 1 is super solid, LOVE the character arcs and build up, they are INCREDIBLE. The animation is solid, the storyline set up is full of hype, the butterfly effect is very prominent in the story telling and I love me a good action packed story heavy series surrounding politics. Boy howdy does this show give us depthy characters, I'm LOVIN it! Season 2 arc 1 is also pretty solid.

Arc 2, ep 4,5,6 however.... they have some interesting ideas but are otherwise a complete and total mess. Our entire cast straight up disappears from the plot, rushed to all hell (we needed a season 3 SOOooo badly) Every single member of our main cast has contradicted themselves, often within the same episode. The narrator is unreliable.

The final arc of season 2 picked things back up, and while its not perfect by any means, it was breathtakingly unexpected. I enjoyed so much of it. I feel like our characters had good wrap ups, I just hate how we got here. One could argue the show also ship pandered the ending quite a bit and I'm not gonna disagree, I hate to say that was ironically the best part for me.

I was actually mentally, physically, and emotionally unwell for an ENTIRE week after the finale. I stayed up all night watching it. I've never seen a show pull something so insane in my life. I was astounded. I don't think anyone could have predicted how things would have ended up. If Arcane had a season 3 to actually sit down and give more time to explore the ideas they shoved into season 2, I feel like people would be less divided on it. Despite my disappointment for season 2, I still think this show is very good and would recommend it to everyone, even my own mom, ahahaha. ~ Spoilers below for an overall issue I have with Arcane, for both seasons. A really annoying pet peeve of mine

The writers have a problem with plot devices. There has been one per season and they're not good. Sky Young and Isha. They're used to rush a character to the next step in their arc. My personal belief is that these two are wasteful. They only exist for a member of our main cast. They are not their own characters or have any legit relevance to the overall story.

Sky Young is there as a symbol of Viktor's 'humanity' even when the methods of her death or how she's used in the story don't make any sense down the line. She's just an 'obsessed' one-sided love interest that forces Viktor into giving up on the Hexcore- to give up on Piltover and Jayce. Only for him to drop/kill her a SECOND time in season 2 regardless of his initial guilt and distress over "losing" her.

Isha is used to force Jinx to live up to a symbol of rebellion against Piltover, as well as be Jinx's "redemption arc" (she didn't NEED one??? wtf) morality pet, as well as force Jinx into a situation where she'd consider unaliving herself so Ekko can come in and save her.

I am so annoyed with how these characters were handled. Sky should have been more than a lab assistant crushing on Viktor, and Isha should have been more than Jinx's redemption arc morality pet. It's shocking we have such flat plot devices in a show with such insanely depthy characters- especially the other women! I'll talk more about them in my video, but any time I see them on screen, I just want to skip over them.

[i-bit-the-dust-it-was-yummy]

so uh im finally going to make a post about this.

there is a very well known hannibal user that i wont be naming (cough cough @suchawrathfullamb) that has been doing some realllly bad stuff for awhile that i feel like more people should be aware of everything that has been going on that i have seen so far

UNDER THE CUT WILL INCLUDE: ALLEGATIONS OF MAKING AI ART AND NOT DISCLOSING THAT, MENTIONS OF NONCON, BEING AN OVERALL HYPOCRITE AND GETTING PISSED AT PEOPLE FOR NO REASON, SHIPPING WINCEST, MAKING REALLY SEXUAL THINGS ABOUT ACTUAL PEOPLE, PUBLIC SEXTING SOMEONE IN ASKS, DISCLOSING THEIR FAVORITE SEX POSITIONS WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE, AND STEALING PEOPLES IDEAS/ HEADCANNONS AND GETTING MORE RECOGNITION FOR IT

(THE THINGS DISCUSSED IN THIS POST ARE KIND NSFW SO LIKE IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT DONT READ)

if you don’t want to hear about any of these things don’t click thanks ❤️

during this i will be addressing lamb with they/them pronouns because i don’t want to misgender anyone and if im wrong sorry i do it with anyone.

hi, im panic and for the past like 2 months ive been talking with @sqeeebus (you can find at least one post on his acc about this that also goes in detail) about all of the things that have been going on and i feel like ive waited too long to actually go on here and talk about it all. during the time from lamb changing their pfp from the bloody s1 e1 will (and a bit before) to now they have gone down hill and done things that include but are not limited to: sexualizing hugh dancy and mads mikkelsen without warning, making a post that has now been deleted where they say hannibal would noncon will, publicly sexting someone through asks, disagreeing with someone’s joke and being hostile with them and making a fight over it, liking a persons post but then posting a post very similar to it without credit, shipping 2 purely biological brothers from a show, talking about their sexual life and preferred sexual position to at least thousands of people including minors, hearing an actor disagree with their opinion and becoming an anti- season 4 person after being very pro- season 4, and what set me to finally make this post: making what is believably ai art without disclosing that it is and leading over 50 people each post to believe it isn’t.

1. SEXUALIZING HUGH DANCY AND MADS MIKKELSEN

see i feel like i wouldn’t need to explain to an *allegedly* grown woman that this isn’t okay but i do, mads mikkelsen and hugh dancy are REAL people with REAL wives and REAL children and REAL grandchildren. sexualizing fictional characters body’s isnt necessarily great when you think about it but the reason it’s okay is that the character is just that, A CHARACTER. im going to explain rpf as well here because ive seen allegations of lamb shipping madancy (rpf ) and i really think it’s weird that i have to explain why it’s weird and wrong, the people you are shipping are REAL and not you’re playthings. the people you’re reading fanfiction are most likely at home with they’re respected families because that’s just it: rpf is REAL person, fiction meaning that they’re REAL.

2. HANNIBAL NONCON INCIDENT

so, i was here when this was posted but, lamb has deleted all evidence of it. basically lamb made a post about that hannibal would noncon Will if given the chance. (see the only reason is hannibal: big evil strong daddy man and will: tiny small baby) now obviously lamb got a lot of backlash from this and what do "famous" people like lamb do in situations like this you ask? hide, deny, or even gaslight. no apology because lamb obviously never feels guilty for anything they do. this will be clear by the end of this post.

3. SEXTING SOMEONE THROUGH ASKS PUBLICALLY

just as it seems really, lamb and someone they had some kind of pet name for (i think it was husband idr) started sexting one night without warning (as per usual). so i remember this but very vaguely because i was eating dinner at restaurant and im pretty sure the lamb face reveal and sex position talk happened the same night so kinda overwhelming you know? the two of them were sexting the way you would if you wanted to do that with your significant other PRIVATELY. it was over all kinda weird.

4. BEING AN ASS

yeah. basically this happens really often with lamb now but the one im talking about happened right before the pfp change. so lamb made a post that was basically: 'will had no empathy hes evil, he didn’t feel anything for beverly, he doesn’t feel anything about anyone and if you don’t understand that you’re stupid.' now if you watched the show and you aren’t terrible at characrizing or ableist you would know will may be a serial killer but he also has a EMPATHY DISORDER, you know the thing that kind of makes you care/ empathize too much?? buut the person made a joke on the post not actually trying (at least i don’t think?) not to rile up lamb and said something along the lines of: 'someone spent too much time with fredrick chilton' now it was not that but it was similar. and lamb didn’t like it and it started and argument that wasn’t needed that lamb had most of the hostile behavior in.

(the person this happened with is @iconsumethesoulsofthedamned)

5. COPYRIGHT!!! COPYRIGHT???

so if you can’t tell im one of the people this happened to and i can testify this by having lambs notifs on and my own. basically i made some post about what i believed some characters charictazation was (i think it was will but it might have been hannibal) later lamb liked the post and soon after i got a notification that basically the same things i had said lamb posted, AND didn’t leave credit. i know this has happened to others because im not that great with characterization. (also this my be petty but lamb has reblogged one of my posts and reiterated my exact same claim and multiple people said things like "so real lamb" etc)

6. WINCEST

need i say more? ACTUALLY YES I DO! they’re BROTHERS. i don’t even watch supernatural and ik from friends that they’re full 100% blood brothers, no half, step, or adoption you can blame your disgustingness on (and even then it wouldn’t help any).

7. DIARYS ARE CHEAP GUYS. AND WARNINGS ARE FREE??

much like all lambs posts, there was no heads up, no hey if you don’t like nfsw go, just boom. i salute those who cannot handle (sorry no better way to say it) nfsw things and had to go out of your way to block lamb just to get it off your dash. so those who have not been "gossiping" about the downfall of lamb or even seen these posts, basically lamb face revealed and people went nuts. it had started off as (nothing is word for word) asks like: 'wowww lamb youre so pretty!!!' to asks like:' LAMB WHATS YOUR FAVORITE POSTION DURING SEX?' this was a big haha what when i opened tumblr because i needed a hannibal ref when pinterest want help. so posts like this spurred lamb to make polls for themself for people to guess what their favorite postion during intercourse is. haha why. i should’ve stayed in the good omens fandom they really just make polls on the characters preferred pronouns, not this.

8. LAMBS POST- CON TANTRUM

so pre mads and hughs cons lamb was VERY pro- season 4. but upon hearing what the ACTORS think would happen they were very grouchy (along with others). now it wasn’t both the actors lamb was pissed at, it was hugh. so i think most people know about it, buuut basically hugh gave very will coded answers, and by that i mean he said will wasnt in love with hannibal straight away. now all things aside, that is very in character, wills not gonna jump off the cliff with hannibal and start taking/ giving it doggystyle while saying i love you, that would never in a million years happen. he is shown being very back in forth with hannibal, and yes he’s in love with him, BUT WILL ALWAYS DENIES. jumpingoff a cliff isn’t going to change that. now to my actual point, lamb started making posts about rethinking a ton of stuff and all that crap over ACTORS ANSWERS. in case you don’t know, mads and hugh don’t write hannibal and will. that means that the things they say shouldn’t be tested as the gospel, more of a simple headcannon. lamb, though, treats it like it like it is as canon as chilton getting burned, and for this lamb is angry, in lambs mind they see hannigram as super domestic, which they could be but not in the way they think. hannibal and Will aren’t gonna get married and if we do ever get hannibal s4 id call myself lucky if we got a hannigram kiss.

9. THE FINAL NAIL IN THE COFFIN

i would not be saying this to anyone no matter my feelings about them so if im wrong i apologize to lamb. i believe it was yesterday or the day before that lamb posted this (im showing proof for this because it’s easily accessible rn)

and one of these is obviously ai (the hannigram one) and the other one i don’t know if it’s ai or a heavily edited photo. if you’re unfamiliar with lamb in the past they used to ask others for art because they had no art abilities. lamb has also never brought up ever drawing beforehand (very different from their writing). there are also a few other things that have brought me to the conclusion that its ai but unless someone asks i don’t want to write it all out. if you aren’t aware ai art is VERY harmful to actual artists and is not good to use. ai art is similar to having an ai write your fanfiction or book you’re reading and most peoplendont want that. ai art is a very big no-no in most art spaces and i believe it is on tumblr as well. again, i would never say this to anyone and if im wrong i really do apologize.

if you made it through thank you, and if you have any questions or want me to explain further ill reblog with whatever you need (that im able to get).

[docholligay]

Doc’s Quarterly Patreon Book Thing: Fantasy

Okay, so, I’ve been trying to think about how I want to do this, which is basically letting my patreons force me to read a book. I have picked three genres I would say I do not read a lot of, but I know y'all do, and then the fourth quarter will be either open season or as a children’s book for children, I haven’t decided.

SO. Nominations will be opened on the Patreon Jan 11th. RULES AND THINGS TO KNOW/HOW THIS WILL WORK:

It will be pitchless. You don’t need to pitch me! Just Title, Author.

One nomination per person. Your first nom will be considered your nomination, all others will be ignored.

Must be available in print

For this quarter, the genre must be FANTASY. Below, I point out some fantasy novels I have enjoyed and negative-enjoyed, which’ll give you both an idea of what i like and what I might consider fantasy. Just good faith effort.

Must think I would like it. You don’t have to think it’ll slay me and change my life, but this isn’t ‘let’s clown on Doc’. I am doing this in good faith and I assume you will nominate in good faith.

I will RANDOMLY DRAW FIVE of the novels. These five will then be PUT TO A VOTE on patreon. I will not read the comments so if you want to pitch, the comments on that poll will be a good place to do it.

Whatever wins the vote, I’ll read.

Okay, then, FANTASY BOOKS I REMEMBER TRULY ENJOYING OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD, AS AN ADULT

The Once and Future King by T.H. White

His Dark Materials Series by Phillip Pullman

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher (the first 4 or 5 anyway)

A Song of Ice and Fire Series by G.R.R. Martin (the first 4)

The Gunslinger by Stephen King

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

FANTASY BOOKS I REMEMBER DISTINCTLY NOT-ENJOYING OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD

Eragon By Chistopher Paolini

Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling (This is 10000% not a solidarity thing or anything, I fucking hate these books and think they are Not Good. I would not put something I decided to hate for author’s politics in a guide for recommendation)

A Wizard of Earthsea by Urusla LeGuin

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

The Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan

Redwall by Brian Jacques

The Night Circus by Erin Morganstern (In full fairness, i loved this one until the fucking bullshit eyerolling ending)

See?? Despite being an insufferable hater, I do like things! This list of course doesn’t include anything where I was like, “That was perfectly fine!” It’s made to show the highs and lows.

Does this make sense? I’ll put the nomination post on Patreon Jan 11!

[jadedlavendergemini]

Rage built up

A/n: just a drabble I had thought of based off some bts pics for season 5. Basically reader is still upset over Eddie’s death and has a hard time keeping herself in check.

It had been the same for weeks since your encounter with vecna and Eddie’s death. You felt nothing but cold and numb. Your friends tried to help by trying to include you in activities and conversations but nothing worked. At the end of each day you would just curl up in bed and cry, your grades were slipping and every night you watched endlessly through your nightmares of Eddie’s death over and over again.

When you weren’t with your friends or in school, you’d find yourself at the Hawkins cemetery with a bucket of soap and water and scrub away at the graffiti that would always wind back on his headstone.

You knew you weren’t the only one grieving Eddie’s death though, Dustin was also upset but he hid it well. He was trying to carry on Eddie’s legacy with Hellfire Club. And while he would always remind you by saying “Eddie wouldn’t want you to mope around.” Or “No one deserved to know Eddie the way you or I did.” None of it made you feel better.

So you kept quiet. You endured the constant reassurances from your friends that everything would be fine and that he loved you. But it wasn’t enough to make the pain go away.

So here you were now, sitting with Nancy and Robin at a table closer towards the back of the lunch room. Nancy and Robin conversed with each other as more of your friends appeared. Mike, El, Dustin, Lucas, Will and Erica took their seats at your table.

The Hawkins cafeteria was loud as per usual. Students were seated at their normal tables and chatted or laughed.

You were staring off into space, trapped between memories of having lunch with Eddie in his van or out at the picnic table when El’s voice pulled you out.

“Y/N,” you turned to your left where she sat next to Mike. “Are you alright?”

You just nod and before you can respond with a simple “I’m okay”, a cocky yet familiar voice can be heard nearby.

“She’s still crying over her serial killer boyfriend,” Chance’s laughs along with Andy and two more basket ball jocks walking by your table.

“That’s enough, douchebag.” Robin says, glaring at the dark haired boy.

“Maybe I’d be sad too, if he wasn’t such a freak who murdered my friends.” Andy chimed back as he and the other boys made their way to the normal jock/cheerleader table.

You looked down to your lap where your hands are clenched into fists, fighting back tears. You had endured your fellow student’s bullying for the past weeks.

El’s hand wraps around your left hand in an attempt to hold it comfort but you jerk from your sister’s touch. Suddenly you feel rage, like a fire burning in your chest.

Standing up, you snatch Nancy’s lunch tray and empty it onto the table.

“Y/N, what the hell?” Nancy exclaims as you clutch the now empty tray in your hands and make your way towards the jocks.

You ignore your friends calling your name as you march towards Chance who has his head turned, laughing at one of Andy’s stupid jokes.

“Hey Chance,” you speak loud and clear. And when he turns to face you… WHAM! The cafeteria is quiet as the only sound that can be heard is plastic smashing his face. You let out shout and slam the tray against his face again. By the third time, you had caught his forehead with the edge and a small amount of blood can be seen.

Before you can land another blow, someone’s arms are wrapped around your waist pulling you back. But your vision is blurry from tears and you throw the tray blindly back in Chance’s direction. You continued to try and reach towards the boy in attempt to claw and punch him but you’re held back and you scream in frustration.

“Y/N stop!” Lucas is the one holding you back. You recognize his voice but still try to fight him off.

“She’s fucking crazy!” You hear one of the jocks yell.

Slowly you stop resisting knowing Lucas won’t let you keep beating the shit out of his ex- teammate. When he slowly loosens his grip, you find yourself standing above a freaked out Chance who is covering his face on the floor, terrified that you’ll continue with your rampage.

Your breathing is heavy as you’re tired from all the movement and tears fall freely. You look around to see all the other students are staring at you, mouths agape and eyes wide. You turn to see your friends still at their table but standing, worried gazes on you.

Before you can gather your thoughts on what you just did, you run. You ran through the cafeteria doors and into the hallway. The students who weren’t in the cafeteria to witness your wild behavior stare in your direction.

You push past them and make your way into the girls bathroom and find it empty. Looking in the mirror you only see someone you don’t recognize. Your hair which was tied into a ponytail is frizzy and out of place, your eyes are red and puffy and your face is red.

You slump down to your knees onto the dirty floor and let out a sob. You couldn’t recognize yourself anymore. Your emotions, your thoughts, even your actions. Your body continues to rack with sobs and heavy breathing, you don’t even hear the door opening.

You flinch when you feel a hand gently rest on your back. You look back to see Nancy, Robin and El kneeling next to you.

“Y/N,” Nancy’s voice is soft and comforting but you continue to cry. You try and let out a breath but it comes out like a choking sound. She doesn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around you in a hug. “Hey, it’s okay.

“I- I’m sorry.” You cry out. “I didn’t mean to hurt him-“

“He deserved it,” Robin states. “You don’t owe him an apology.”

“Y/N,” you lift your wet eyes to your adopted sister who reaches a hand to your shoulder. “It’s okay to let it out. I know how you feel.”

“No, no you don’t.” You sob. “They treated him like a monster. But he fucking saved them. And I- I loved him.”

Before El could respond, the bathroom door opens and the girls find themselves at the attention of principal Higgens’ secretary. She’s stares down at you with her glasses at the bridge of her nose and her hands on her hips.

“Hopper,” she addresses you coldly. “Higgins’ office. Now.”

———————————————————————————

You sat across from the principal himself as he lowered his gaze at you, which only made you shrink more into your chair and stare intensely at your hands.

The door opens and Higgins stands tall at the sight of your father entering the room. “Chief Hopper,” he gestures to the chair next to yours.

Jim takes a seat next to his eldest daughter and places a strong hand on her knee. “What happened?”

“According to our Hawkins Basketball team, everything was peaceful, students were enjoying their lunch period until…. That is your daughter Miss Y/N,” he points his skinny finger at you. “Assaulted Chance with a plastic lunch tray.”

Jim chuckled. “A plastic lunch tray, okay. And the damage?”

“Just a scratch on his forehead, but Chief, if I may, this still counts as an assault on another student. Now if his family chooses to press charges-“

“Oh I’m sure they won’t. Did Y/N tell you why she did it? I mean did you even bother to ask her why she felt the need to assault this kid?”

Higgins clears his throat before returning his attention to you. “Miss Hopper, why did you feel the need to violently assault one of your classmates?”

You finally move your eyes up to meet the principal’s dark ones and quietly spoke. “He was teasing me about Eddie Munson. He called him a serial killer.”

“Well, Miss Hopper-“

“Eddie wasn’t a serial killer! He didn’t harm Chrissy or Patrick or Fred or ANYONE! You HATED him. So you let all your students just bully him and you LET Jason Carver create some angry mob against him and even told them that he should be found DEAD.”

By then you were out of your seat, fists clenched to your sides and eyes brimming with tears again.

The principal just stood there brows raised and eyes glancing at the chief for some assistance.

Jim stands up and wraps an arm over his daughter’s shoulder. “Okay, look, Higgins. I don’t think this is going to happen again, alright? I’ll take her home, we’ll have a long discussion about what happened between her the kid and maybe I’ll even get her to apologize. Let’s just not start the whole pressing charges BS, the kid is gonna live to see another day.”

“Mr. Hopper, I NEED to make an example for the other students-“

“Expelling my daughter from school on her senior year won’t do any good. She’ll be back on Monday, attitude changed and hopefully her grades.”

And with that he led you out of the office and to the parking lot where his beat up chiefs jeep was parked.

After hopping in and sitting in silence for a few minutes, the talking finally begins.

“So a lunch tray, huh?”

You nod.

“Y/N what’s going on? I know you’re upset about Munson and what you said back there was true about the bullying and name calling, but assault? Now look, I can handle that kids parents if they do want press charges, but you need to talk to me more.

“I know I wasn’t around for a bit but I’m here now so just talk to me. You’re upset about Eddie? I can handle that. You feel like what? Depressed? I know all about that feeling, kid.”

You remained quiet until you didn’t. “Every night I have the same nightmare. Eddie dying in my arms, telling me that he loves me and there’s blood everywhere. And then I wake up and he’s gone. If I could just hold onto him just a bit longer or maybe if I could’ve saved him-“

“Y/N, I never thought that once Eddie was a bad kid. Sure, his old man was a scammer and a thief but Eddie was different. I know he just wanted to get out of this town and do whatever it is he wanted to do. But you know what really made me believed that he was a good guy?”

You look into Jim’s old eyes. “He died protecting you, my daughter. Even if the rest of this shithole of a town doesn’t know it, he helped save them.”

“Don’t shut your friends out, definitely not El because you need them, kid. Trust me. If you wanna cry, you cry and let them hug you, you want to hit something, I have old bat somewhere in the cabin and I’ll let you go to town on some trees. But just leave those ungrateful students alone. Let them think what they want. Because as soon as you graduate, you can go and do whatever you want, just like Eddie.”

You nod your head while wiping your tears. “Thanks dad.”

“Anytime, kid. But promise me, no more beating up basketball players!” Jim couldn’t help at laugh at the thought of his eighteen year old daughter beating up a jock.

“I’ll try,” and for the first time in forever, you smile. Not quite large but one that could pass as a smirk.

[bekaterrier]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday! Lots going on this week!

@desertskiespodcast Chapter 18 - Spoke to my Damn Soul: This episode was so good. We ended the previous episode in a tough place for Tendy, and thankfully he got the help he needed along with a new gift. That moment was so beautiful, the way the words and the music came together felt so powerful. Also, Tendy name reveal!! The mystery deepens with Nonny and C.A.S.H. so looking forward to hearing where that goes.

Extra Note: DS creator Jared Carter has been invited to NYC to speak to a college class about DS, and to attend a DS event there (lucky for any DS fans in the area!) He's raising money for the trip by holding a script auction and selling personalized messages, among other things. You can check out all the details here! Also, happy birthday JC!

@thenightpost Season 2 & 3: I absolutely flew through the next two seasons of the Night Post. The spirits! The conspiracies! Will! The Urban Strategist! The cult! Ashley! The quasi fourth-wall breaks from Nick! Ashley again! (😭) The will-they-won't-they! The change in the opening in S3E15! Again, that cliffhanger! Ahhhh!

@storiesfromylelmore Episode 203 - Classes: Rion got his hug!! I mean, it was basically a tackle from Keryth but it still counts! This episode was too adorable. The way that Keryth and her moms know how to give Rion what he needs when he's sad (and how they shared that with Elas). The way Keryth was explaining more about how magic works to Elas (and by extension us). And the play! 🥹

Case Study IREC-A59 Episode 4 - Gavisti and Other Forms of Poor Translation: We finally got to hear directly from the human! I can't imagine being in his place. I do appreciate the effort Dr. Orla is putting in to try to communicate. And that little bomb dropped by Ineke at the end... I really wonder where this story is going to go.

As a side thought, I was reading some of those "humans are space orcs" tumblr posts this week and realized this is exactly the situation the crew of the IREC-A59 are dealing with! The only they know about humans is that they're violent, per a 7-year-old report. Humans are literally orcs to them and they are panicking trying to contain the one that's awake on their ship, communicate with it, and figure out how they got off their planet.

@camlannpod Episode 1 - Keep the Home Fires Burning: I've joined the @podcast-bookclub and started listening to Camlann this week. I've been really looking forward to listening to it and I wasn't disappointed! Episode 1 starts off going hard! The music and sound design are fantastic and I was immediately sucked into the world and the story. Can't wait for next week's listening party!

[lvrhughes]

Do You Know How Hard I Tried? | Cole Caufield

word count: 1.1k

pairing: Cole Caufield x gn!reader (??)

warnings: angst, no happy ending, swearing,

summary: It was never a good idea, yet somehow that was never truly the issue.

requested: Yes

i do not know how much sense this makes so bear with me, anyways pt.2 is here

not my gif!

It was a bad idea, anyone could see it.

The friends with benefits situation never worked, yet it was. Nothing had changed yet, simple rules in place keeping the peace. 

“Hey, mon amour.” Cole voice first to greet you, walking into the familiar arena, seeing the other players getting skates on. 

“Hi, Coley.” Sitting beside him on the bench, his arm wrapping your shoulders. “Missed me?” the teasing tone earning a small shove from the boy. 

“I don’t see why you guys aren’t dating, you’re basically already a couple.” One of the other habs player’s voice could be heard, the feeling of panic washing over you. Had Cole told them? Could he tell you wanted more? Was it obvious? 

“Shut up.” Cole’s arm removing itself from your shoulder before he continued, “I don’t want a relationship besides, no falling in love rule” 

A few confused stares and one question got Cole to spill, “You guys made a rule to.. Not fall in love with your best friend?”

Cole's explanation short, leaving out the benefits part. Earning a few uninterested nods from the team, pecking your cheek before running out to the ice. Leaving you to go to the stands, sitting to watch practice. 

It was a short practice, the game coming up later in the night, leaving you to wait for Cole to come out. First out as per usual, leading you out of the arena. 

“You coming tonight?” His voice hopeful, like always when he asks.

“Of course, how could I not? Now, you coming over?” 

His presence was enough to set your body on fire, his touch electrifying. His spot beside you on your couch, his tigh just touching yours. His next movements rushed, grabbing his bags in an instant. 

“Shit! I’m late!” the panic clear in his voice, trying to calm him before he ran out the door, saying a short bye and ‘see you at the game’. 

It wasn’t long before the game, the time passing fast. Entering the arena through a unknown side door, a little trick learned from Cole. Slipping in easily, walking your way to the hallway to see Cole, his figure leaned against the wall waiting. 

“Mon amour!” He practically cheered, rushing over to you for a hug, lifting you up slightly. 

“Hi Coley, missed me?” the teasing tone earning a scoff and a very sarcastic

 “No, never.”

“Sure, sure Caufield.”

His name called shortly after, being pulled away to play, not before pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek. His disappearance leaving  you to claim your seat by the bench, the view of the team perfect. You could see the smile on his face as the team came out, skating a lap past you, winking as he passed earning an eye roll. 

To say the game went bad would be an understatement, the team had the worst loss of the season. Cole took  more penalty minutes than ever, too many players got injured, and of course a fight full of harmful chirps. 

Cole’s demeanor was completely different coming out, his stance not sad but not happy. His walk fast, pushing his way over to where you were in the hall. 

“Why’re you still here?” the tone harsh, setting you back a minute.

“Cole, I always wait for you, we always go home together.” 

His eyebrows raised at your declaration, earning a confused look from you. 

“Why would I want to see you right now, you’re the cause of this!” his tone was venomous, the words cutting deep. 

“What?” you could feel the tears clouding your eyes, his glare still hard.

“You, you’re the problem. If they didn’t see you they would’ve have anything against me.” 

“Who’s they, Cole?” 

“The other team! Chirping me for my partner blah blah how you’re so clingy, how you probably slept with half the team. If they hadn’t I could’ve kept it, I could’ve won!” 

The words striking hard, taking a minute to pause, almost physically stumbling at the words. His eyes never softening, His teammates slowly flooding around or through. 

“You’re mad, because I love you? I'm not even yours! Cole what the fuck, you’re mad at me because you couldn’t calm down over some chirps, they weren’t even about you, were you ever going to tell me?” 

“No, why did it matter? I just want you gone.” 

“Fuck you, Cole Caufield.” The players walking past froze at the scene, entranced in a way they couldn’t look away. A single tear falling down before you could tear, the arms of the team's captain quickly pulling you off track and into him.

His hand rubbing circles on your back, letting you sob while he whispered comforting words. Gently leading you into the locker room, kicking everyone else out. Sitting with you on his lap, the muffled sweet words never stopping.

“Is it bad I still want him?” That was the first question, he looked down at you, his eyes soft, the opposite of Cole’s.

“No, you love him and he loves you, he’s just being so fucking stupid right now.” There was slight comfort from Nick’s words, his gentle motions and calming tone ensuring it would all be okay. 

“I think I should go see him.” 

“Just be careful, he’s too angry to see straight right now, he thinks the loss was his fault. Because he took all the penalty minutes, because the other team chose him to chirp at.”

“I know, I’ll be okay Nick, I’m strong.” His slight chuckle at the words earning one from you too, leaning against him once more. 

“I know you’re strong, I just need to make sure you’ll be okay.” 

It wasn’t hard to find Cole, slouched on the hallway floor, his head in his hands, his hair a mess from running his hands through it so much. 

“Cole?” It was barely above a whisper yet he heard it, his head perking up at the sound. 

“Amour.” His tone was breathy, like a plea. “What’re you still doing here?” Quickly standing up to stand before you.

“We need to talk.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement, he had no choice this time.

“What? No we don’t, you need to go.” His tone immediately defensive, pushing you away.

“No, this isn’t fair to me Cole!” 

“Why are you still here then! It’s like you're in love with me, god, you're like a lost puppy!” the emotions clearly still there, voices rising quickly. 

"Do you know how hard I tried? For years? I tried so damn hard not to fall in love with you and I'm still here." 

The words stunning Cole, his movement halted, his breathing stopped, the words sinking in. 

“Shit.” It was the only thing he could say, watching your figure walk away. “Amour, come back, fuck, I’m so sorry!” the pleas, useless, never stopping to hear them.

[bomikalover]

fav jjpope moment? mines midsummers when they hugged and stuff probably it was so adorable , i swear they make me so sick i love them 😭😭

AHHHHHH, I LOVE THIS QUESTION!!!

I’m going to do this per season cuz I can’t just pick one 😭

S1 - MIDSUMMERS!!

The build up to that moment alone is phenomenal but the reunion moment between the boys was my personal heartstopper.

Pope hadn’t seen JJ since he was taken away in handcuffs and after hours (or a day idrk) he sees JJ beaten and bruised in a more formal outfit. Grabs him from whatever he’s doing and nearly tackles him in a bear hug. Which JJ reciprocates, gives him a kiss on the cheek, AND says I love you?!

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON WHEN JJ GRABBED POPE’S FACE TO GET HIM TO STOP TALKING 😭😭

“For once in your life, trust someone else.”

I want that tatted on my forehead frfr🥹

The lighting, the emotion, the acting, the EVERYTHING.

Truly once of the best moments in JJPOPE history 👏🏾

S2- this is hard cuz there are so many good moments.

But the first one to come to mind is JJ reminding Kie of how perfect Pope is.

JJ is the poguest of the pogues so being called a pogue from him is BIG.

He basically said Pope’s the definition of a pogue and since Pope’s amazing then being a pogue is amazing. (Kie was struggling with choosing if she was a kook or a pogue and JJ somehow made the convo about Pope and how great he is lol)

Then later in the night when they were going to bed, Kie kissed Pope on the cheek and JJ had a hurt reaction on his face and turned his back to the scene. (I remember on my first watch of OBX, That was the first time I noticed JJ giving such a visual jealous reaction!!)

And I just want to say, that JJ reacted that way because he’s jealous of Kie not Pope!!(I made an entire post about it on my jjclopelover acc that I use to obsess over OBX and mostly JJPope)

here it is!! ⬇️

That entire scene spoke volumes!

S3- now how S2 was hard bcuz there were too many…S3 is hard cuz of the opposite.

But I pick the moment when the pogues go on the cross heist.

JJ said he would go to prison again for Pope.

And Pope had thought JJ died and once he saw that he didn’t, he gave him another bear hug that nearly knocks the breath out of him.

(slight parallels to midsummers might I add. JJ with going to prison for Pope and Pope thinking that JJ is deeply injured or dead and tackling him with a hug)

Anywaysss those are some of my favorite moments! I’ll gladly answer any questions y’all have lol.

- Shyanne aka Bomikalover

P.S. - I LOVE YA MELLLLL🫶🏾

[ghoultyrant]

Beachballs: a jellyfish story

Once upon a time, I spent a month at a beach on the Texas coast in the 'off-season' of that beach. My initial response to being there was to be kind of baffled as to why it was the 'off-season': it was sunny, a nice temperature, and all-around nice!

A week in, storms arrived. Brutal, oppressive storms, with torrential rain and high winds. And they kept going continuously for days, where a 'nice' day was one where the looming clouds weren't raining right this second and the wind was only moderately strong. (But the sky was still blotted out by the clouds all day long, and it still did rain on and off)

So that pretty straightforwardly explained why the of-season was, in fact, the off-season.

More interesting than all that was that one night the storms were particularly intense and I woke up in the morning to lots of jellyfish having been washed ashore by the waves: I'd previously read about jellyfish being beached, but I'd never seen it personally, and to my surprise these jellyfish largely didn't resemble what books and TV had depicted of jellyfish lying flat on the ground, dehydrated and clearly dead. There were a few like that, but most of them were actually curled up into a ball shape, mouth firmly shut, seawater trapped inside their skin. The contrast was pretty stark, because the live ones glowed a bit, while the dead ones had their internal lights inactive.

(I'd provide a picture, but this was over a decade ago, and I couldn't have taken one at the time anyway. I really wanted to, but didn't have the ability at the time)

My first thought was to figure maybe the jellyfish had gotten lucky; I already knew jellyfish don't have a brain per se, and everything I'd ever seen talk about jellyfish presented them as very passive... but the ratios made me doubtful. If it was luck, why did the living beachball jellyfish outnumber the flat dead jellyfish something like 10 to 1? That's awfully consistent for 'luck'.

After a couple hours of seeing the jellyfish continue to survive on the beach, I got curious; I had what I'm going to call a bucket (It wasn't a bucket, but explaining what it was would be a lengthy distraction), and I decided to scoop up some of these jellyfish and try to dump them back in the ocean, see if I could rescue them. (Partially because jellyfish are one of those animals nobody reacts to with It's Cute Or Something So I Feel Bad For It When It Suffers: if I didn't save these jellyfish, there was basically no chance somebody else would do it)

I very stupidly started by just walking out until the water was waist-deep and dumped them out right next to me; I didn't get stung, but I did immediately decide to not repeat that.

Even so, the result was interesting: the jellyfish immediately opened up and began pumping, orienting away from the beach, out to the open ocean. This was very striking: I'd read about jellyfish pumping to adjust their depth, but my science books and shows had never suggested a jellyfish might be capable of deliberate horizontal movement. And the fact that I dumped out 6 jellyfish at once and they all immediately oriented correctly made it difficult to believe they were picking a direction at random: they were picking the correct direction somehow.

This was promising enough -and I had nothing better to do anyway- that I took on the longer journey of taking jellyfish out to a nearby rock jetty to dump them out: once again, the jellyfish stayed curled up in a ball while they were in my bucket (Even the ones that were completely submerged by the water that was getting into the bucket), but immediately after they hit the seawater they opened up and began frantically pumping away, this time from the jetty. I did this jetty trip three times in total, and all 18~ of those jellyfish reliably made the correct decision in those conditions.

(By the third jetty trip, I was too tired to keep going, even though I kind of wanted to keep at it. By the time I had the energy plus time available, the remaining beached jellyfish had all gone flat and dark, dead. Alas)

So that was all fascinating and raised a lot of questions about jellyfish intelligence, senses, etc, not to mention made me heavily doubt the default Passive Filter Feeder characterization all my science materials had told me.

(Incidentally, I tried digging into if modern science documented this behavior in the over-a-decade since my original experience, but as far as I can tell, no: as of July 15, 2024, this appears to still be an undocumented behavior. All I can find is the same ol' same ol' stuff about helpless filter feeders washing helplessly up on beaches and dying with no attempt to stave off their oncoming deaths.)