#basically none of the organization I did is useful in any way

[lovingk9z]

Idfk what my brain's been on today but I've spent at least 7 hours organizing and sorting through my entire phone

[kyseya]

You reap what you sow

Yandere farm brothers x f.reader

—————-

Just your typical luck, your car had suddenly broken down in the middle of nowhere. What will you do now? You can’t stay there, there’s no food or water available. Luckily, you hadn’t run out of recourses just yet but it was very close to being gone.

You stepped out of the car and went around it, staring it down with waves of irritation rolling off you. You tried coming up with a plan. The next stop was miles away and it was nothing but a daydream that you’d be able to make it there on foot.

Right as you were about to give up and let the animals take you, the sound of wheels on gravel caught your attention. Turning around, you saw another car speeding towards you. Yes! You were saved! You waved at the person in the car and luckily enough it stopped. ‘I’m gonna pray it’s not Michael Meyers lost cousin or something.’

The door to the passenger side opened and you spotted a man sitting behind the wheel. He was young, around your age, probably a little older perhaps. He had dark brown hair and equally dark eyes. You instantly noticed a scar below his left eye as you glanced at his face. You had to admit, he was very handsome; in a rugged type of way. You couldn’t help but eye how his plain shirt hugged all the muscles on his body. You mentally slapped yourself, ‘Geez (Y/n), you’re here to ask for help not ogle him like the last piece of cake at the party!’

“Your car broke down?” He asked, looking at the worthless piece of junk that had decided to betray you just minutes ago.

“Yeah, it did.” You scratched the back of your head in slight embarrassment. “I couldn’t trouble you for a ride, could I?” He was quiet for a moment, in which you hastily added, “Not for long! Just so I can get proper help from a mechanic. I won’t be a bother I promise.”

The man nodded. “Alright then, hop in.”

Your eyes lit up at his response. You gladly took a seat beside him and thanked him again for his help. “Thank you so much. You’re literally saving my life.”

He nodded once more. Guess he wasn’t much of a talker. Well not that it mattered much. You’d only stick around until you got to a town and found someone who could fix your vehicle. You didn’t have to be all buddy-buddy with each other. You only had to be happy he didn’t seem to want to kill you and hang your organs like Christmas ornaments. The chance of you meeting again was down to basically zero.

Or that’s what you thought, but life has a funny way of messing with you. It must have a grudge against you or else you wouldn’t be seated in the same position you were previously, only it being about 3 hours later. The drive to the nearest town was long(you definitely wouldn’t have made it by walking) and when you got there, you found out the one mechanic they had was out of town.

You thought you were going to have to spend the night in a bush, but you were pleasantly surprised to have your muscular helper offer a nights stay at his farm. You were grateful(once more) and also confused. Why was he being so nice to you when he didn’t have any reason to? It didn’t make sense. The two of you had just met, plus that you’ve only spoken a number of times and none of the conversations were noteworthy.

It was after you accepted you got to know his name, Weston. It fit him quite well, you thought. He told you there was a spare room you could use. It would be further away from his, to offer you some sort of privacy. He also mentioned there was one other person living on the farm, his younger brother. If he annoyed you, you could just tell him off, Weston said to you.

Your butt was sore from all the sitting, both in your own car but also from this little trip. The sky darkened and the sun had nearly completely disappeared when you finally arrived at the farm. It looked like you imagined. There was a large house which you assumed was the main house. Behind it was a big, red barn. You thought you could hear the faint sounds of animals.

Climbing out of the car, you glanced expectantly at your host, waiting for his initiative. You didn’t want to be rude and march right up to the house. As you were waiting, another figure came into view. He was much like his older brother, with brown hair and eyes to match. He was smiling at the both of you, although you caught a slight suspicion towards you.

“Who’s the new kid?” He asked his sibling, who gave him a rundown of what’s happened. You were a bit annoyed at how he called you ‘kid’, you were very much a grown person. And he’s one to talk, you were sure he was younger than you, even through all that brawn. He wasn’t as tall as Weston but he was no joke either. The younger brother looked at you with sympathy, “Really? Well that’s unfortunate. What’re you gonna do now that the mechanic’s gone- since you need him I’m guessing you don’t exactly know how to fix cars.”

You sighed, “I’m not sure yet. I’ll come up with something tomorrow. I’m too tired from all the driving and thinking.”

“Alright, I get it. I’m Lucas by the way.”

You shook his hand. “(Y/n), and thank you for having me. You’re really saving me here.”

“Haha, well Weston likes to pretend he’s heartless, but he’s really just a giant teddy bear.” Lucas said and smirked as he received a glare from the ‘teddy bear’.

“Come in (Y/n), I’ll show you your room.” Weston led you into the house.

Right as you stepped over the threshold, you felt a slight chill. Something felt wrong. You turned around to see Lucas’ beaming face. He tilted his head in confusion.

“Everything good?” He asked, concern lacing his voice. You’d gotten the impression that he’s a chill guy, but now you started wondering if you’d made the wrong choice.

“N-no, everything’s great!”

There was no turning back now, you thought as you descended deeper into the house.

It was unfortunate that every time you followed one of the brothers into town again, for supplies and other things, the mechanic was never there. Sadly it seemed like his vacation wasn’t over yet which meant no way home for you. However, you didn’t have it so bad. The brothers had been kind enough to let you keep staying with them at their farm.

Honestly it was pretty good there. Sure, it wasn’t what you were used to, but some change of scenery was good for you. Not wanting to appear lazy, you helped them to the best of your ability around the farm. You couldn’t lift heavy things like they could even if you really put your back into it, and you certainly didn’t trust yourself to milk the cows; something you could do was cook! It’d become a routine for them to do their work during the day and you’d make them lunch and then dinner in the evenings. You’d never seen yourself as a homemaker, though this was kind of fun. Maybe it was the heat poking your brain or it was that you genuinely enjoyed their company.

Besides, it was really nice looking out the kitchen window and catching a glimpse of them at work. You weren’t proud, but it did something for you. The way droplets of sweat ran down their backs, not in a gross way though, in an appealing manner. During the instances they took of their shirts, you got a front row seat to see the muscles in action. You now knew Lucas had stone-hard abs and that Weston had a very nice back.

Despite the fun in getting to know both of them individually, there were some things you couldn’t deny making you uncomfortable. For example, there was the curfew. That one had a good explanation; there were wild animals sometimes running around and they didn’t want you to get hurt. That made perfect sense! Though you couldn’t shake off that one time you couldn’t sleep and had gone outside on the porch for some air. You were just relaxing and looking at the bright stars when shouting woke you up more than your insomnia. Lucas had come rushing towards you in panic. He’d frantically asked you what you were doing up. You responded honestly and he slowly calmed down. He said you shouldn’t go out by yourself anymore. If you can’t sleep you can see the stars perfectly from the living room window, or better yet, you can come to one of their rooms instead.

Then there was the room furthest back in the barn. Although it could be excused as well, they told you that’s where they slaughtered the animals. But you could swear you heard something from inside, something that doesn’t sound at all like a cow, a pig or a chicken. Suspicion arose in you, but fear held you in a chokehold and prevented you from investigating. However nice they were to you, there was no way you’d risk pissing them off. Especially since the mechanic still wasn’t back which meant you had no way to escape, if it would be necessary.

Lucas had been right, Weston wasn’t as scary as he seemed in the beginning. Sure, he was a bit rough around the edges but he had sweet moments too. Once during one of your little adventures on the porch, Weston had suddenly appeared by your side, giving you a scare. He apologised and asked why you were out. You were worried he would get angry considering you’d just recently had the ‘no more going out’- conversation with Lucas. To your surprise he chuckled at your nervous demeanor and did not reprimand you. He told you that in his opinion, Lucas was too paranoid for his own good and sometimes didn’t know when to stop. You don’t have to walk on eggshells, though you probably shouldn’t wander off the porch after dark. Better to be safe than sorry, right? Afterwards he declared he’s going to bed before wrapping you in a blanket, you didn’t even notice he had it with him until he turned you into a burrito. He was very sweet in his own way, you realised. From then on you paid more attention to the affection he undoubtedly showed. Sometimes it was hard to see, but it was definitely there.

Lucas on the other hand was more open with his affection; pulling you into hugs, asking about your day, petting your hair. All these thing he did daily. He, too, was incredibly sweet. Sometimes it was hard to comprehend that him and Weston shared DNA. They were so different. The only thing confirming their relation was little things how their eyes lit up the same way or how their smiles were similar(if you were fortunate enough to witness Weston smiling, that is). Lucas also had a protective streak. He constantly worried over your safety and wellbeing. Which was kind of nice, when he wasn’t nagging you about it every five seconds.

You better listen to them. It’s all for your best. Because if you don’t, you might end up walking into the barn, and then you might end up finding the remains of the mechanic you’ve been so desperately looking for. And that wouldn’t be very good now, would it?

[hollowed-theory-hall]

what's the one harry potter pairing u like that u mentioned in the tags of your hinny post?

Anonymous: Can I ask who that minor character you ship with Harry is? For some absurd reason my mind jumped to Stan Shunpike lol but it's probably not him.... Or is it?

Okay, so this is kind of a funny story. Like, my pipeline through hp pairings was a weird one. Like, I used to read a lot of Harry pairings, still do on occasion (some make more sense than others). None of them were ones I would point at and say: "that should've happened in the books"

One day, I was innocently writing a fic (canon divergence of GoF), and it was just for me, for funnsies, never posted it anywhere and not planning to. And I planned to pair Harry with someone there (honestly, I don't remember who because I didn't write the plan down) but when writing, Harry ended up with a different character. And it was so strange to me because that never happened.

Like, how do you write a ship accidentally?

But I did. I wrote Harry into a ship by accident. So I went back to the books to try and figure out why the hell would my subconscious decide that's the way to go.

I'll also preface it by all this being my subjective opinion and I do read other Harry ships in fics, this one just quickly became my favorite to write (and the only one I write). Also, I don't actually think this is a pairing that should've happened in the books, it's place is in fic and that's where I like it.

So, the character I accidentally shipped with Harry is... *drumroll*

Stan Shunpike!

Not really, it's:

Theodore Nott

Now, you might look at the name and go: "Who the fuck is that?"

And you'll be correct. Theo has 0 speaking lines in the entire book series. His name appears twice. He, himself, as a person, only appeared on page, like, 3 times in the background. The scene that gives the most information about him is other characters talking about him. He isn't even present.

That being said, I'm very good at extrapolating a lot of information from very little evidence. So allow me, to walk you through who is Theodore Nott and why I ship him with Harry.

Basic Information

So, let's start with the most basic overview before I pull out the quotes and go any deeper.

We know Theo is a Slytherin student in Harry's year. So he likely shares a dorm with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Theo's father is both at the graveyard at the end of GoF and in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, so we know he is a Death Eater. We also know Thoe's father was one of the first and closest Death Eaters to Voldemort, who waited for him during his interview with Dumbledore in 1967:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed...”

(HBP, page 444)

We also know the Nott family is "as pure-blooded as the Malfoys" according to JKR in an interview. We also know Theo's great-grandfather (maybe? the family relation isn't clear), Cantankerus Nott, is suspected to be the one who wrote the Pure-Blood Dictionary, the book that coined the term "Sacred 28" and made that list (which the Nott family are on).

The name Nott is potentially to be derived from the name Nótt, which is the personification of the night in Norse Mythology. So it has been theorized the Nott family have a Nordic origin. Possible, but it doesn't really matter for this post.

What does, is that he comes from a dark, Death Eater, blood-purist family similar to the Malfoys. Even so, Theo never took the Dark Mark and never joined Voldemort in the books.

Now, that we have the basic information out of the way, let's look at Theodore as a person.

All the details I could gather from the books

Alright, now we get to the fun part. That is, me going through all the relevant scenes that mention Theodore Nott and actually creating a character psychoanalysis out of basically nothing.

So, the quotes aren't organized in a particular order. I'm just going to explain Theo and then explain why all this makes me ship him with Harry.

“Well, I pity Slughorn’s taste. Maybe he’s going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn’t heard I’m on the train, or —” “I wouldn’t bank on an invitation,” said Zabini. “He asked me about Nott’s father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he’d been caught at the Ministry he didn’t look happy, and Nott didn’t get an invitation, did he? I don’t think Slughorn’s interested in Death Eaters.” Malfoy looked angry, but forced out a singularly humorless laugh.

(HBP, page 150)

This is a part of the conversation between Draco, Pansy, and Blaise, Harry overhears when he is hiding in their compartment at the beginning of HBP. I have a few things to note regarding this scene.

Firstly, throughout this conversation, Pansy, Blaise, and Draco all call each other by their first name. This shows closeness, they are all friendly and familiar enough to use their first names with each other. Theo, though, is referred to as "Nott" by all three in the compartment.

He doesn't actually sit in their compartment which is in itself a sign about how he isn't really friendly with Draco's group. Considering the group is most of his year from his house, Theo is likely very lonely, and it will be apparent from other scenes I bring up later.

Secondly, Theo's father is in Azkaban. We know Draco is bothered about his own father's predicament. He mentions it to Harry and bothers him over it, Theo doesn't though. Theo doesn't seem to be bothered by Harry or his father's incarceration.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the relationship between Theo and his father is not a good one.

(I know some fics like to have Lucius be abusive towards Draco, for some reason. But the books really don't back this up. Lucius loves Draco and Draco adores his father)

Theo, though, Theo seems to be the one with a very strained relationship with his father. Strained enough that he isn't bothered the man is in Azkaban. What I'm saying is that Theo's father likely abuses or mistreats him in some capacity.

If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle’s reactions. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library, together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked around at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment, and Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: He had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters

(OotP, page 583)

This is a scene at the end of OotP after Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Theo's fathers were caught at the ministry and sent to Azkaban because they are Death Eaters. There are a few important notes about this scene.

The first, Hermione knows Theo, while Harry and Ron don't really. This means she likely knows him from the classes she takes and Harry and Ron don't — Arithmancy and/or Ancient Runes.

The second, he is sitting with other Death Eater children, but I don't think it's by choice. I mentioned in the previous quote how he isn't close to Draco and his crew. He sits with them here mostly because he doesn't have another choice. Theo doesn't seem to really have any friends, so he sits with the closest people he has to friends — kids he has known since he was young because their fathers were in the same circle.

The other note about this is that Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco are all mentioned as being threatening and malicious towards Harry because they don't like that their fathers are in Azkaban. Theo, though, Theo doesn't threaten Harry, he isn't part of their whisperings. As I mentioned above, he's likely happy his father is in Azkaban.

A pair of blank, white, shining eyes were growing larger through the gloom and a moment later the dragonish face, neck, and then skeletal body of a great, black, winged horse emerged from the darkness. It looked around at the class for a few seconds, swishing its long black tail, then bowed its head and began to tear flesh from the dead cow with its pointed fangs. A great wave of relief broke over Harry. Here at last was proof that he had not imagined these creatures, that they were real: Hagrid knew about them too. He looked eagerly at Ron, but Ron was still staring around into the trees and after a few seconds he whispered, “Why doesn’t Hagrid call again?” Most of the rest of the class were wearing expressions as confused and nervously expectant as Ron’s and were still gazing everywhere but at the horse standing feet from them. There were only two other people who seemed to be able to see them: a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face, and Neville, whose eyes were following the swishing progress of the long black tail.

(OotP, page 445)

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”

(OotP, page 446)

The stringy Slytherin boy mentioned here is Theo. This scene proves that:

He takes Care of Magical Creatures

He saw someone die

Let's explore the second one for a moment. The fact Theo can see Thestrals means he watched someone die and was old enough to comprehend what he was seeing. We also know Theo's mother is dead. So it's likely the person he watched die was his mother.

I also want to draw attention to Theo's distaste towards Thestrals. He could likely see them carrying the carriages every year since 2nd year, it's not his first time seeing them. But it doesn't stop his displeasure with their sight from showing. Which says something about him. It means he likely recalls his mother and her death whenever he looks at the Thestrals. and these are memories Theo rather not experience.

We don't know how his mother died, but I'd hazard a guess it wasn't natural. After all, wizards have long life spans, they are more durable to illness and injury, and don't usually die from accidents unless very extreme or magical. And there was no epidemic of dragonpox (a disease that does tend to kill wizards) in the time since 1980 and the books. So, she was more likely killed at some point between 1985(ish) and 1991.

“No, I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” Harry saw Malfoy lean close to Nott and whisper something; both of them sniggered, but Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her.

(HBP, pages 185-186)

First, Theo is an O student in potions since he is in the potions NEWT class, and was probably meant to be there even if Snape was the teacher.

Second, again, Theo doesn't really have friends. He sits next to Draco as the only other Slytherin in the class. Also, they share the circumstances of being sons of Death Eaters currently in Azkaban. Although both of them seem to deal with it quite differently.

Third, Theo joins Draco in making fun of Hermione's blood status, but he does not initiate it. Considering the environment he was raised in and is in, it makes sense he would make fun of it. Whether he's a blood-purist or not, he would want to keep his image considering he doesn't have many allies. Hanging out with Draco is survival, not friendship. They aren't even on a first-name basis with each other.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes,” he said, nodding gravely at Malfoy and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. . . .

(HBP, page 186)

The final quote I have about Theo is from the same potions class as above. Both he and Draco are portrayed here as underestimating amortentia and its potential damage. It makes sense for their upbringing in the Wizarding World, which has no real laws or regulations regarding love potions that are seen as harmless fun more often than not.

I'll add Theo likely didn't witness a healthy romantic relationship. Considering his father is a Death Eater who is likely abusive and may or may not have killed his mother. With this as his reference to a marriage, it's clear why he'd look down on love and love potions.

Why I think Theo and Harry have potential

Okay, so now that we know who Theodore Nott is, let's talk about why I ship him with Harry.

I think Harry, in general, would get along best with a clever partner with the ability to be ruthless (Slytherins or Ron fall into this category). Because Harry isn't some golden savior; he casts unforgivables, and is very willing to poison Umbridge or Crocio Snape if he could get away with it. He needs a partner that won't be horrified by these thoughts.

Also, Theo literally never speaks on page. Even when spoken to, his reactions are silent. I think this quiet and no need to talk, the ability to be comfortable in silence, is something that would be comfortable for Harry. Harry in the books finds himself annoyed with Ron and Hermione's constant banter on occasion, so I think it fits well.

Theo would also be comfortable around Harry without a need to play a certain part. Because Harry wouldn't care about that. He would honestly rather Theo forgo the pure-blood Slytherin act.

I feel like Harry and Theo, have a good potential to understand each other. Theo lost his mother and likely experiences abuse from his father. It makes them very likely to trauma bond over their crap life and shared experience. Two out of three only ones who could see the Thestrals in the entire class.

The other thing I feel they could connect over is being lonely. Harry spent all his childhood until Hogwarts basically being on his own. Theo stayed on his own. Draco at least has his parents, he has other students he's closer to, not that he shares everything with them, but he has some support network. Theo has none. And this is something Harry knows well.

Theo, I think, wouldn't expect anything specific from Harry. He doesn't even interact with him, not to mock him, and not to idolize him, he doesn't care at all. And we know how much Harry appreciates being thought of as Harry and not as the Boy-Who-Lived. Theo would allow Harry to be himself without some mold he wants him to fit in.

The fact Theo never becomes a Death Eater, even though he was in Draco's year and his father was a Death Eater before Lucius (and in better standing than Lucius with Voldemort) is so interesting. It's somewhat surprising Theo wasn't marked. It means he didn't want to be. It means that Theo Nott didn't want to torture and kill muggleborns or blood traitors, or anyone really. And he didn't want to swear his allegiance to Voldemort. This is just a fascinating fact to me and something I enjoy considering. What life experience made him come to that conclusion? Was it just his dislike of his father that pushed him away? Could he have been another Sirius Black (Gryffindor in a Slytherin family) under slightly different circumstances? I mean, Voldemort likely wouldn't force him to become a Death Eater, but would his father? I don't know what at all went down there, but I like that potential story.

We also know he wasn't part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad, even though some minor Slytherins were mentioned to be part of it. He just seems to be an actually decent guy (I don't care what Cursed Child says about him, I know he's there but I avoided almost anything to do with Cursed Child so I barely know the plot).

Finally, this is a character Harry doesn't have as much drama to get over with. Yes, sometimes I want to read overcoming drama between characters before it becomes a romance, but sometimes I want something chiller than that. And Theo is a really chill, safe, Slytherin option for Harry.

[hero-israel]

One of the reasons for the "Left" becoming more and more like a cheerleading squad for exactly the kind of things Leftists are supposed to hate is because so much of this new coalition of young people are coming from conservative backgrounds, but not doing any real work to deradicalize themselves.

They grow up with these Puritanical ideas of sin and justice, crime and punishment, and instead of unlearning any of this they just switch the targets of their disdain. It's switching teams for them, not learning that they don't have to play the game. Most of them are soft conservatives who just want free healthcare.

And these Leftoid chud debate pervert streamers like Hasanabi are a big contributing factor to this, not the only factor, but a prominent one. He definitely puts this veneer of artificiality and commodification over the Left. American society is under a lot of stress right now, culturally and economically. Instead of the Left organically building coalitions it's mostly unorganized college kids reading Al Jazeera and Russian and Chinese propaganda and running as fast as they can away from privilege and having a toddler understanding of class consciousness. It's so pathetic and basic and it will not save us.

You cannot save a society that you don't think is worth saving. They're just practicing radical disengagement and some kind of edgy nihilism. They purport to hate America and the West and want to burn it all down but they know that will never happen which is why they're so comfortable with the cognitive dissonance. It's why they don't vote, and why organizing and demonstrating is like teeth pulling for them. Either black activists have to do all the leg work for them, or the protests have to be about tearing something down, not advocating for any positive change, right now that's Israel. Soon it will be something else.

Unironically, the pussy hat resist lib wine moms did way more with their women's marches than any of these wannabe philosopher college kids are doing with anything. Like I know for a fact a "Leftist" would read a post like that and be like "L + ratio libshit, imagine supporting the neoliberal fascist colonialist concept of due process?" like we're so beyond the pale at this point. When fascism takes over, I'm sure they'll think they're fighting back, but if the fascists learn to coopt enough phrases about climate and Palestine and healthcare, will they even notice the fascists taking over?

I've got a few friends who were raised hardcore fundie Christian, "gays will burn" creation and rapture types. They went to normal public colleges and wound up becoming very left-wing, all the left memes and slogans you can think of, fastidious in their distinctions between and protections of every conceivable marginalized group (which none of them are, on any axis). And.... you can't disagree with them about anything. Can't point out that a source is questionable or that a slogan is psychologically backfiring and producing skepticism or mockery instead of benefits. They will not hear of it, because they are still fundies. They did a binary flip from one team to another but never moderated their tactics or temperament.

[smoothriverrocksrock]

Posting this so I can remember later but imagine this: multiverse Transformers crossover au with G1, ok? Doesn’t matter which so long as it’s with G1, but for example purposes let’s imagine it’s with Tf Prime.

You are TFP Megatron, and you’re discussing plans with another version of yourself. He’s unhinged in ways you could’ve never imagined and it’s inspiring. Your current plan is to use the Twin Towers (which is a landmark that doesn’t exist on your Earth, must be a dimensional thing?) as magnetic beacons and attract all of the Earth’s metal with them. While working, you hear Thundercracker say something. You turn around and only see Skywarp, Thundercracker no where in sight. You blink, and Skywarp suddenly morphs into Thundercracker. This keeps happening with all the seekers. You almost got a heart attack when you saw three Starscreams

You are TFP Rachet, and you both adore and despise the Arc. On one hand it’s so filled with life, nothing like tiny, empty base back at home. It’s also depressingly bittersweet, seeing other versions of the people dead in your dimension. On the other hand, you are going to have an aneurism. This alternate version of you is maybe probably dating Wheejack? It looks like he is? Which is making you consider things that could very well lead you down a dark road. This alternate version of you has also has ten children things. Well, he never *calls* them children, but he did create them by hand and also kinda raised them. So. Yeah. Half of them transform into giant destructive forces of reptilian nature, and the other half can fly and combine into a giant destructive force of Autobot nature.

You are TFP Shockwave, and you’re convinced something is wrong with this dimension. It is illogical on physical levels that continue to baffle you. Astrotrain has measured at different heights each time you saw him. Objects never seem to be consistent in appearance, size, or even color. Once you saw the Soundwave counterpart wearing a red Decepticon symbol. Your own Soundwave has been reporting similar odd occurrences, such as humans producing absurdly large objects impractical for their size but suitable for Cybertronians. Everything seems to follow a sort of Schrodinger’s cat philosophy, where nothing could be wrong until directly observed. Your counterpart seems unfazed by any of this, and keeps stating laws of physics that simply do not exist in your dimension. There is a giant green gem at the planet’s pole (ON THE SURFACE NO LESS) that controls the temperature and climate. How the fuck did that form.

You are TFP Bumblebee, and not only can your counterpart speak perfectly, but he is also twins with Cliffjumper. And all the Bots here are in perfect alliance with humans, and your alternate version can drive as publicly as he wants with his human partner. Which is… interesting. You are processing all of this with absolutely no jealousy, promise, absolutely none. You are so normal about all of this.

You are TFP Starscream, and you don’t know if you want to murder your counterpart or be him. He is in a similar situation to you, lacking respect, stuck in second place, and under the constant ridicule of Megatron, but instead of learning basic self preservation he just… stays the same??? You watched your counterpart publicly shoot Megatron in back point-blank, get his ass beat in front of EVERYONE (How does someone so prideful never feel shame??? Like Primus what’s his secret holy shit), and STILL talk shit the next meeting?!? From afar you think you could really grow to respect the guy, but the second you have to actually talk to him the thought disappears. His voice is awful to listen to, he keeps mechsplaining the simplest things about treachery, and he just??? Has some half-organic, half-mechanical thing named Dr. Arkeville in his lab??? You tried to ask about it and instead you got roped into a long rant about some Skyfire guy that you’re 90% sure is his ex

You are TFP Optimus Prime, and your counterpart loves to play basketball.

[ejzah]

As promised, here is a summary of my experience at Epic Cons Chicago and meeting Eric! I’m including some of the pictures I took (with poor attempts to censor my face). Heads up, this is a long post.

I started off early in the morning with a long drive since I’m a scaredy cat and avoid the expressway as much as possible. The convention center was very full when I arrived and it took about 50 minutes for me to register because the process didn’t seem well-organized, so that wasn’t the most fun.

But after that, I was on my way to watch Eric’s panel! The panel he appeared on, had actors from several different shows, so he wasn’t asked that many questions. As usual though, he was charming and disarming. One fan asked everyone what word they would use to describe their character and I believe Eric chose “fearless vulnerability”, which is technically two words, but so very in character for Eric. I always love listening to him talk about Deeks and the depth that he infused into the character.

I have a few poorly filmed videos from the panel that I can share if you message me. I’d rather not post them just in case my account would get deactivated again. I thought of asking a question myself, but chickened out.

After that I had a very long break before my next event, so I got some tacos from a little place inside convention center. I’d give them a 5/10. They were overpriced, pretty tiny, and overall mediocre.

Now on to the really good parts!

Next I attended a meet and greet with Eric. I was super nervous leading up to it, and kind of regretted the tacos at that point. About ten of us were ushered into a small private room with chairs set up in a circle. We were instructed not to take any videos, picture, etc, before the start, so I don’t have any additional content. Eric came in a few minutes later and ended up sitting one seat over from me (😱), which was pretty darn distracting for me.

After telling us he’d never done a meet and greet before, answered several questions and chatted with us. One of the things that really struck me was just as with every video and interview I’ve seen over the years, is that Eric was so genuine, honest, and generous.

In answer to questions, he talked about the last few seasons and why there were some irregularities. Such as that the show was supposed to end after season nine and each season after that was considered a bonus and based on ability to form a tight budget. He also confirmed that none of them knew what was in “the box” aside from possibly Shane Brennan.

The greet part of the event went by far too quickly, and before we knew it, one of the volunteers announced it was time for the selfie portion. Fortunately, another fan noticed I had been trying to ask a question and spoke up for me.

Before I asked my question, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to shoutout wikiDeeks first. Eric really lit up and expressed how much he appreciated the hard work and thought put into the writing and contributions. He brought up an episode many fans had issues with (we figured out it was probably from the FLETC episode that shall go unnamed), and said he showed a piece of wikiDeeks writing to the writers/TPTB and basically said that it was deeper and better writing. I believe that might have been @anonkp’s wonderful work! In general, he was very appreciative and complimentary of everyone at wikiDeeks. He’s so very gracious!

We were really short on time, but I did get to ask the question “what would you change about Deeks if you could?” Eric couldn’t come up with a response on the spot, so he asked me the same question in return. I told him I didn’t think anything needed to be changed about Deeks, but didn’t always enjoy how silly he was written in later seasons.

Eric shared that he tried to play those moments in a way that put Deeks in on the joke instead of being the butt of the joke as much as he could. Unfortunately, he didn’t always have that luxury.

During our conversation, Eric was very engaging and attentive. For those couple minutes, I forgot to be nervous because he made the atmosphere so comfortable. It felt like he genuinely cared about what I was saying. My only regret is that I didn’t have time to emphasize how much I appreciate Eric’s acting and portrayal of Deeks.

After that, it was selfie time! When it was my turn, Eric bent down to my level (oh my lord he’s tall), naturally in my usual awkward way, I bent down too. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Hopefully Eric saw it as charming rather than incredibly silly and awkward. Hey, at least I made him laugh, right?

He’s so beautiful!

If any fans on here were present for the meet and greet, please let me know if I forgot anything or misremembered events. My memory is often faulty.

I also chose to get a professional shot with Eric and for that one I got a hug! I’m still not over it yet.

It was a really long day and a lot of driving, but so worth it for the chance to meet and talk with Eric. And, I’m pretty sure I came out this experience even more of a fan of Eric than ever.

[multiplefandomwritings]

self-made now you're self-paid with your own plans

pairing: Charles Leclers x female!storeowner!reader                                

warnings: none really

request by @rebelwrites: Hey hun any chance I can request a fic for Charles Leclerc, so basically the reader is his girlfriend and just a normal girl who runs her own small business but is struggling to make ends meet and doesn’t tell anyone because she doesn’t want the world to know she’s struggling and doesn’t want to people to think she is using Charles. So, she ends up picking up a second job eg parcel delivering or something she can do as a self-employed person and she has little time to breathe let alone fly out to races ect and that’s when Charles realises something isn’t right with his girl so he does something to surprise her once the season is over because he hates seeing her so down and stressed

notes: feel free to leave comments and/or feedback. likes and reblogs are always appreciated! also, feel free to send in requests!

disclaimer: english is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes 😊

word count: 3.4k

Monaco is a beautiful, beautiful country. You were born and raised in the colorful and busy streets of one of the richest places in the world. Your family definitely wasn’t poor, but you also didn’t play in the league that many other people living in Monaco reigned in. You are not a movie star, a singer, an actress or a star athlete. No, you are just you – and you mean that in a way to put yourself down. You are just unapologetically you, and you are really proud of that.

While most of your friends at the elite school you visited decided to study business or law or finance at some prestige university in Monaco or even overseas, you decided to turn your passion into your profession. While taking some evening online classes on how to open a business, you opened your own little store in one of Monaco’s busy vendor streets. The store combined your many crafting abilities. You offered the materials, but also the finished products. You crotched and sewed unique pieces of clothes and bags, as well as pillowcases, stuffed animals, and other items. Self-made jewelry and hand painted mugs are gracing the shelves of your little store. In one corner, different kinds of flowers are presented from which costumers could decide which flowers they wanted for the little bouquets you loved to make. In short, the store offered everything if one was on the lookout for a special and unique present.

This was also what brought the famous Charles Leclerc into your store. Looking for a present for his mother for Mother’s Day, he had walked into your store. You greeted him with a little paint stain on your cheek and a messy bun, yet he somehow fell head over heels for you. He adored how down to earth and hardworking you were. That day, he left with a present that made him his mother’s favorite child for a while, and your number in his phone.

He insisted to organize the first date and took you out for a fancy dinner. It was nice, to be part of Monaco’s high society for a night, even if it was just for a few hours. But it didn’t matter, because Charles made you feel like royalty, like you were special at any given moment. You didn’t need to be part of high society if you were with him because he treated you like you were a queen.

Of course, you knew who he was, as he was part of Monaco´s finest. For a while, you were afraid that the two of you wouldn’t work out, as your lives were so different, and you were afraid that you simple weren’t enough. But that changed when on your third date the two of you sat on the floor of your atelier for hours, painting on canvases and mugs and Charles not once was afraid of getting his hands dirty. He never did, actually. When he wasn’t away, he even came and helped you out at the store sometimes, standing behind the cashier and advising costumers. One time you came out of your atelier to find Charles gushing to some costumes about your crafts, and it left you with a very warm feeling in your chest.

However, it wasn’t always easy. While most of the other drivers had girlfriends that could made space in their schedules to fly out and visit, you barely could do that. The weekends were essential to your income and being gone from your business for more than two days wasn’t working for you. You still tried as much as possible, sometimes flying out for a day only to see him race on Sundays and fly back home immediately. It made you and Charles equally unhappy, but he understood and supported you, nonetheless. He couldn’t be prouder of you and your achievements that you worked hard for, more often than not working long and tiring hours. He knows that you are not like other wags - that you don’t have as much time to come and visit him at races. Sometimes he selfishly wishes that you had more time, but he knows that he would rip you away from the thing you love the most – your little store and your arts and crafts.

At the moment, it is especially hard. Charles is gone almost every weekend, sometimes not even coming home in between because he doesn’t have the time. You understand that, you really do. And you are also insanely busy right now. Still, it isn’t nice to only see your boyfriend for few days every three weeks. You make it work though, your love and commitment for one another as strong as ever. You call whenever you can, even though there is a time difference in most places where he currently races. Most nights, he is afraid to wake you up, but usually you are still up working, even when he calls in the middle of the night. It worries him, sometimes. But he knows that arguing doesn’t help with your stubbornness, so he usually just asks you to make sure that you stay healthy and get enough sleep. You nod, knowing that you certainly do not get enough sleep at the moment.

Times are hard for your business right now. You feel like just your store isn’t enough anymore, you need an online presence. It is inevitable in current times. You don’t have the money to hire someone, so you decide that it couldn’t be that hard to set up a website by yourself. Turns out, you are naïve, and sleep is overrated. After a week of hard and dedicated work you have managed to set up a website that lives up to your perfectionist standards. You are, after all, an artist. An Instagram account follows soon after. You refrain from following Charles, because you don’t want to appear like you use him for the cloud.

You sadly had to let go of your assistant just recently, as the owner of your building had increased rent. You would’ve looked for another place, but the location of the store was just too good to be given up. Furthermore, the fact that your apartment was located just above the store made many things easier for you. So, you had no real other choice than to suck it up and pay the much higher rent. Letting go of your assistant however meant that your workload increased drastically. You had to take orders over the phone, take care of the deliveries yourself. You still produced most of the stuff in your store yourself, but you had to order materials as well as some products that you offered but didn’t craft yourself. In short, it was a lot of work, and you felt increasingly stressed about it.

The good thing about all of it is that Charles is just as busy as you, which means he doesn’t realize how stressed out you actually are. He usually isn’t there much more than two or three days in between the races, and you can afford to close the store one of these days. The others, you work a little less, only 6-8 hours, not the 16 hours you normally have on your clock on a long day.

Today is an especially shitty day at work. You take a moment to catch your breath. Why on Earth did the elevator have to be out of order in this particular building with 15 stories? And why did your client wanted something delivered to the highest floor? You utter a short but very heartfelt “fuck” when you catch a glimpse of your own reflection. Quickly, you brush the strands of hair that stick to your slightly sweaty forehead out of the way, trying to look somewhat representable after all. You walk to the door of the apartment on the address and wonder for a moment, why everything looks so familiar in this building. You ring the doorbell and when the door is opened, you know why you recognize the building. A soft “oh” escapes your mouth before you catch yourself again and smile at the man before you. “Hey Daniel!” “What are you doing here, y/n?”, Daniel asks you, confusion etched into his features. You hold up the packages in your hand. “Bringing your delivery?”

“That is your store? I never knew, my girlfriend loves your stuff, and some of the best presents I have ever gifted are from there!” You smile shyly. “Yeah, I ask Charles to not tell anyone, I don’t want it to come off as I am using him to push my business!” Daniel shakes his head. “Y/n, you have been with Charles for what now, four years?” You nod your head. “Well, not once have I heard you trying to use Charles for anything, so don’t you worry about that! Especially because you don’t need Charles for that, your store is a fucking lifesaver and just generally amazing!” “Thank you, Daniel!”, you smile at the man before you and then look at your watch, “I would love to chat more, but I need to get back to the store. How about we meet for dinner with Heidi and Charles soon?” “Sounds great, have a good day!” You bit the Australian goodbye and make your way down the stairs.

Later that day, when it is already dark outside, your phone rings. Charles is calling from overseas, tired after a tough day at qualifying. For half an hour you chat until your respective day, exchanging some loving words, just enjoying each other’s presence. “Daniel told me you delivered his order personally today. Is your assistant sick?”, Charles suddenly asks, and your heart drops down your knees. You had prayed that Daniel would not mention it, that he would just forget about it. For a moment you are angry at the Australian, but then you remember it is not his fault. He possibly didn’t have any foul intentions when he told Charles. You take a deep breath. “She´s okay, but I –“, another deep breath, “I had to let her go.” Charles perks up, you can see him straighten out in his chair. “My landlord raised the rent, and I simply couldn´t have afforded the store and my apartment anymore if I had kept her.” Charles brows furry in concern now and your heart drops a bit further down. “Why didn’t you tell me, mon amour?” You sigh, and your face falls.

He doesn’t sound mad; he sounds concerned and worried and a bit hurt. You sigh. “I am sorry, Charles. I just didn’t want to bother you with that, you have so much on your plate already!” “Please, my plate could be filled to the brim and there would always be space for your problems as well!” “Thank you, love”, you tell him. For a moment, Charles just looks at you. “You know that it is okay to ask for help, right?”, he tells you and you sigh. “I know Charles, but I want to manage this by myself.” He nods. “I admired that you want to do this by yourself, I am just saying that I am here for whatever you need me for.” The two of you continue to talk for another hour, before Charles is tired and needs to sleep. You look at the clock and groan when you see, what time it is. You will have to get up in just a few hours, even earlier than normally, to pick up fresh flowers from the market.

The next weeks fly by in a blur. You haven’t really seen Charles for a while now, which is hard. Now, you are excitedly looking forward to the next week though because you had decided to fly out to Charles last race of the season and go on some well-deserved time off right after. It would only be a week and a half, but it was the first time you had some sort of vacation for a long time. And you get to spend that time off with Charles, which makes it even better.

The weekend goes surprisingly good, Charles landing on the podium. You claim it is because he is a great driver, he claims it is because you are his lucky charm. He kisses you in front of all the media and you don’t mind. You keep your relationship private, but not secret. After the race, you join him and the other drivers for the celebrations. You know most of them, you are even friends with a few. You also talk to the other wags, even though you usually feel a bit out of place. It is not like they give you that feeling, it is more because their lives are so different. They are all amazing and talented and so, so good looking. You admire them and have only positive feelings towards them – just sometimes it is hard to find a topic to talk about.

The celebrations run long, and the next morning Charles and you sleep in until midday. He treats the two of you with breakfast in bed ordered to your room, and afterwards you get ready to head back to Monaco. The plane trip is long, and you spend most of it sleeping. The two of you have decided to spend your time off in Monaco, using the time to also catch up with friends and taking out the yacht a few times. Towards the end of your time off, you get a bit anxious, nervous about all the work surrounding your store. Charles picks that up and tries his best to ease you out of it. He gives you a lot of reassurance and takes you for some spa treatments.

You are significantly more relaxed by the end of your vacation, and dread going back to work a bit. However, when you step into the store on Monday morning, you are happy. You missed your store and once again realize that this is your passion. The next week is full like usually, but you have found the fun behind all of this again. Charles keeps you company, sometimes he just sits next to you when you crotched a new stuffed animal. Also, he runs errands for you when you need it and just tries to help where he can.

Which is also why you give in when he asks you to take another day off. He had asked your best friend if she could take over the store for you and obviously, she says yes. Charles and you spent an amazing day – well, an amazing first half of the day until your friend calls you in the late afternoon to tell you that one of the pipes is leaking all over your store.

You almost lose your mind – if the damage would be bad, it would mean your entire store, your entire living was gone. Charles immediately drives you over, parking the car as close as possible. You rush out, and in your panic, you don’t even realize the tables and chairs that surround your store. Maybe a new coffee shop opened next to you? You rush in. The store is dark, and when you turn the light on, it blinds you for a moment. You scan for damage, but instead you are met with an orderly store, so clean it is almost shining. New lights have been put in, perfectly illuminated the different shelves of your store. There are balloons and decorations you haven’t seen before. In one corner, a buffet is built up and you are beyond confused.

Before you can ask Charles a question, someone knocks on the door and enters. You are even more confused when you see Daniel standing there, smiling widely, Heidi right next to him. “Hey!”, the Aussie greets you, “I am sorry if I am a bit early, but Heidi was so excited to attend the event in honor of your Social Media launch!” You are honestly flabbergasted. “Uhm…”, you say, “Welcome guys!” Then you turn to Charles. “Could I have a minute?”

You pull him by the sleeve of his shirt into the atelier of the store and look at him puzzled. “What is going on here, Charles?”, you inquire. He nervously scratches the back of his hand with one hand. “You were so stressed out these past months about your store. When I realized that you made an Instagram account and didn’t tell me, I was worried and confused. Then you told me about the increase in rent and how you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to pay it anymore. I know you would never accept my money and I admire that, so I came up with a plan: I organized a launch event for you – which by the way starts in 45 minutes – and invited all our friends.” For a moment you debate whether you should be angry at him, but the puppy eyes look he gives you makes you realize that he only tried to help you.

“I… Don’t know what to say…”, you tell him, and he gives you a tiny smile. “I am sorry for not telling you, but you would never have allowed me to do this if I had asked. I just wanted to tell you that it is okay to ask for help, especially the people we love. And I finally want to show everyone how proud I am off you and of what you have managed to achieve. You truly are an artist, and I want the world to see that I have the most talented girlfriend!” His words have brought tears to your tears, which you try to swallow down. Instead of saying anything, you take a step forward and throw yourself into Charles arms. “Thank you!”, you mumble into his chest. Charles pulls away and looks at you. “Anything, and I mean that, anything for you, my love!” He presses a gently kiss to your lips and then pulls you into another hug.

“By the way”, he says when you pull away, “You look absolutely gorgeous, but there is a dress hanging in your bathroom upstairs. Lando is coming to take pictures for your Instagram account, so in case you want to change.” You shake your head and laugh. “Charles Leclerc, you really are incredible!” You race upstairs to change in the gorgeous dress Charles bought you. It is in your favorite color and matches the colors present at your store. It fit you perfectly, and when you came back in the store, Charles eyes were immediately on you. He comes over to pull you in a hug and a sweet kiss and you almost get lost in the morning, until you hear the shutter of a camera click. “Lando!”, Charles scolds the man, and he lifts his hands in mock defense, “We were having a moment here!” You laugh and Charles smiles, so all of you know it is not serious. You move in to hug the man who is your friend as well and are just about to say something, when someone puts an arm around your shoulder.

“I am sorry to interrupt, but Heidi desperately needs your help and guidance with some of your pieces!”, Daniel says and already pulls you with him. You are more than happy to help and immediately engage in a conversation with his girlfriend. Soon after, the store is flooded with people who chatter happily, and are in awe with the store you call your own. You yourself are beaming with happiness, almost flying around on cloud seven. When you check your phone, your Instagram account has reached many more followers, and most of the drivers have tagged your store in their story. People keep on pouring in for hours, until way into the night. By the end, your store looks almost plundered.

Only your close friends are still there, helping you clean up the mess. You look at the empty shelves when Charles finds you, wrapping his arms around your hips from behind. “Thank you, mon amour”, you whisper, gratitude embedded in every fiber of your being. “There is only one problem now: I will have to work on a lot of new stuff the next week!”, you laugh and so does Charles and for now it seems like your life is pretty damn close to being perfect.

[eg4mccc]

First Call, Sims 4 Infants Patch is Coming Soon!!

(graphic credit: Bonxie)

It's almost time, the Infants are Coming!! Before the patch on March 14 breaks mods and custom content in preparation for the March 16 Sims 4 Growing Together expansion pack, I thought I'd run through a few things you'll need to know about, ahead of time.

When you load up after the patch, Mods and CC are going to be disabled by EA. This is fine, we're expecting a lot of things to break, and this time, it most likely will include MCCC.

We on Deaderpool's Discord recommend taking all of your mods/cc OUT, not leaving them sitting "turned off" (disabled) in your Mods folder. There's no guarantee the game can't see them anyway, so for the cleanest test, we always say to move the files out into a folder on the Desktop. You need this "game only" benchmark to see how things are supposed to behave, or to see if what isn't working properly is a problem in the game code, itself. 

Most of the time, we would actually recommend a "mc-vanilla" test, which means to ONLY leave MCCC in your mods folder... but in the case of a Big Patch, until Deaderpool has a chance to evaluate (and hotfix) MCCC for code changes that might cause the mod to give you unexpected issues in game, "true vanilla" (mod/cc free) would be where to start testing.

By the way, if you need help getting your files organized ahead of the patch, you can find a downloadable Mods folder template here, courtesy of Shino Nox.

Without benefit of MCCC's mc_lastexception.html error file to help dig for errors, once you have your game-only test run completed, the next thing to do would be a 50/50. Make a copy of your save file, to safeguard against accidentally saving while your mods and cc are not in the game. (Don't worry, if you DO happen to save your main file this way, just come right away and ask us on Discord how to recover from it.)

One tip we've learned over the years is that you might be able to rule out entire sections of files with two basic tests: 

One test with all of your cc & no mods (except MCCC, as long as it's working properly)

One test with all of your script/game-changing mods, and none of your extra custom content. (You would need to keep all of a mod's pieces together, both ts4script and package files.)

If either test results in any kind of error, you'll need to drill down through those files with the 50/50 technique, to find what's broken.

Luth's forum posts and Scarlet's mod list are both excellent resources. You may notice I'm not linking to any specific forum post. The reason is, Luth/luthienrising starts new patch threads in the section I did link, as needed. You'll be able to spot it once she has created it.

Last month, our team on Discord celebrated our sixth anniversary of helping players.  Don't panic once the patch is live, just swing by and see us for help.  If you can't get in, because you've been banned for some reason, our appeal process is outlined here. 

Most questions you might have are probably answered in the #server-info channel. PLEASE read it, before approaching us in support. It will make everything easier, for both of us. 

Thanks for your time, and, good luck with the patch!!

[r0tting-rat]

DCA PROMPTOBER 2024

Would you guys still love me if I gave you a piece of Mean Sun.

Day 5 - Artistic License

Pairing: HW!Sun & Reader, platonic Warning: None, just Sun being a douchebag to you Words: 2300+ Summary: Have you ever wished to make arts & craft with your fave robot?

Sun didn’t hate humans. No, he didn’t hate them, but he didn’t like them either. They were messy, and vocal creatures. Humans constantly made so many sounds; when they slept, while they ate, without mentioning how impossibly loud they could get at random times for no reason at all. They also laughed very often. Something amused them? Excited them? Scared them? They laughed, and in so many different ways too. Human’s laughs could be polite, short, loud, embarrassed, nervous, explosive. They also had different words for different kinds of laughter: chuckle, guffaw, snigger, chortle, giggle, snicker.

Humans were peculiar, but they were also so dirty and messy. How could so many liquids fit into such a small and organic body? Starting with blood, snot, tears and saliva, without mentioning everything else. One could come in contact with a human and be already in need of a bath, something which Sun despised quite a lot.

Sun was a clean robot, he didn’t like getting dirty, he loved order and organization. After all, he was used to the rhythms of a theater. Everything needed to be done efficiently and fast without causing useless messes, or an entire show could be compromised. Every prop needed to stay in its designed place, every person and bot needed to be where they were supposed to be at the right time, the simplest mistake could throw someone off their pace, and Sun never made mistakes.

That was why, when he was reassigned to the Daycare, of all places, he had been… very, very mad. They had reprogrammed him with all the knowledge he needed to take care of children, but something the mechanics couldn’t do was change his personality and preferences. So that was how Sun, the ever clean and orderly robot, found himself surrounded by sticky, slimy, soft, dirty, loud, delicate and messy children. At the end of every day the jester found himself terribly worn out and covered in so many different things. He hated that job, and, to be completely honest… He did hate humans, just a little bit. 

He hated the mechanics, he hated the parents of the children treating him like a freak, he hated every human person that stepped into the plex. His metallic body, hard like a shell, was so full of hate he had almost acclimatized himself to it. Sun had gotten used to his anger, he worked around his heated wires and pistons like it was nothing, like he wasn’t on the verge of snapping at the smallest problem.

Sometimes though, he would actually snap, and management would send him through a testing phase, like a kid being sent to a correction school for misbehaving. The testing phase consisted of “helping” a tester taking the role of a hypothetical child in the daycare, teaching them how to perform boring and basic things like making a paper pal or painting by numbers. 

Sun was forced to look at this grown adult in the face and act all joyous and friendly, like he was in front of a kid. What a joke! It always felt so embarrassing, especially when the adult in question was worse than any bratty child.

If Sun didn’t hate adult humans that much he would have been intrigued by how some of them could be so childish, mean-spirited and irresponsible. It was a wonder how such people could live past twenty!

Sun wasn’t in the mood for arts & craft, or games in general, for that matter—his opinion never mattered though, did it?—so he waited for the tester to come in silence, standing completely still in the middle of the empty daycare. He counted the seconds and minutes go by, until his internal clock struck the hour, and even then the tester didn’t show up. He was running late, and Sun hated wasting his time waiting for someone, especially if that someone was considered superior to him for the simple fact that he was made of squishable and soft flesh. So easy to snap, so easy to tear.

As more time began to pass by, Sun got more and more restless, retracting and pushing out his rays in a regular pattern as a way to keep himself calm and distracted, but even stimming didn’t work. When the heavy door of the daycare finally began to crack open his head snapped to see if the most pathetic human he had ever interacted with had finally decided to show up, just to see… you, standing in the doorway, confused.

Who the f-fu̷̧͙̇̈́̕-̸̦͆̍c̸̬̍ķ̴̛̫͊̆ were you? Sun was left so dazed he almost forgot his anger.

-F-F-Friend!- he hissed, voice cracking due to the irritation, -Are you supposed to be here?-

Your form shuddered after being addressed directly with so much animosity, probably not expecting the hostility, but Sun couldn’t care less about it.

-Hi, uhm, Sun. I’m the new tester,- you explained while looking around the bright area, clearly uncomfortable, -They fired the previous guy.-

Sun hummed, smiling with no joy. 

-I see. Then, Friend, does it look like I have so much time to waste?- His voice was so bitter it made your skin crawl. You gulped, already regretting picking up the job despite the seemingly nice pay.

-I’m sorry, I was told last minute that I was supposed to be working here,- you apologized, looking away, but apologies weren’t enough for Sun.

-Whatever,- he interrupted you, -Take a seat behind the desk and let’s get this started.-

Obediently, and maybe a little terrified, you sat on the tiny chair in the middle of the daycare, looking down at the arranged desk in front of you. On your right you found a monitor, a timer and a brush, while on your left were many buckets of paints or many different colors. Next to them was a glass of water to clean the brush when you needed to change the color and next to the water was a dart gun. Perplexed, you grabbed the latter and studied it. 

-Do you have the slightest idea of what you have to do?- asked Sun, who had gotten extremely close in the meantime, and his voice made you jump in your seat.

-Y-Yes! I mean, they told me I just have to listen to what you say, and… make… drawings?- you spoke, looking at the paper in front of you; a drawing of a bear similar to Glamrock Freddy. Was that actually all you needed to do? Was it really that easy? No, the hard part wasn’t the drawing, you realized, but the angry animatronic in front of you. You were well aware that thing was a daycare robot, but you didn’t expect him to be so mean and human. God, it was incredible how realistic his personality was, but why program a daycare attendant to be this passive-aggressive?

-That’s exactly all you have to do!- Sun cooed, faking a smile, -How smart you are. Now, it cannot be that hard, right?-

You straightened yourself on the chair, afraid he was going to criticize your posture as well, then nodded. 

-Good, good! Now you just sit right there and don't move. I'll go fetch whatever materials you need, okay?- The robot looked far more gleeful than before, but you guessed he was just putting on a facade. -Use that rubber dart gun to tell me what art supplies you need from the fun, fun craft shelves! Just point and pick.-

-Wait, you mean I have to use this and shoot at the stuff I want?- you asked, lifting the dart gun in front of you. You looked up and saw the shelves the attendant had mentioned, full of googly eyes, glitter glue and other supplies. Beside them was a blank square you guessed you had to shoot at to select the object you wanted.

-It seems like your hearing is working perfectly fine. Yes, that’s what I said, Friend,- Sun nodded condescendingly. His smile looked strainted, his fingers were twitching and his rays retracted intermittently, so you honestly felt relieved that you didn’t have to make direct physical contact with the animatronic. Something told you he would have snapped your neck in half had you been within reach. 

-So I have to, like…?- you looked at the trigger and tested its give, but unfortunately for you it seemed to be working more than splendidly, and under the little strength of your pointer it shot, landing a dart exactly on the middle of Sun’s face. The animatronic gasped in surprise and flinched back, terribly offended, while your eyes widened and you erupted in a waterfall of apologies.

-Oh shit, I’m so sorry! I d-didn’t mean, shit, sorry!- you were panicking, already smelling the outburst that was waiting for you as soon as Sun had managed to pull the dart away from his forehead. You dropped the dart gun and held your hands out in front of you.

Sun hissed, finally succeeding at unsticking the orange dart, and glared at you in pure anger. A shiver made your entire body go tense, while something warm settled deep in your guts. You had messed up so bad.

-Do it again,- the daycare attendant growled, voice underlined by static, -And you're taking a nap.-

You didn’t want to find out what he meant by “nap”, but his eyes told you it had something more in common with the great and eternal Sleep rather than a simple afternoon nap. You quickly nodded, eager to keep your head attached to your body, and finally Sun seemed to relax. 

Just the fact that you had apologized and was treating him with general respect was actually quite the novelty in the Superstar Daycare. The previous tester never apologized when he “accidentally” shot him with the dart gun once every three seconds, and neither did he listen when Sun told him to behave. Maybe, if you stopped making those dumb mistakes, you and him could actually work quite well together.

-Okay, Friend,- Sun gathered back up his happy demeanor and straightened his pose, -Today we’re playing Paint by Numbers! Just follow the happy little numbers, they make all the hard color choices for you. Let me know once you’re done, oookay?- 

Again, you nodded, terrified, looking down at the Freddy drawing before you. You could do it, it was just a stupid paint by numbers.

☆

Paint by numbers wasn’t hard, obviously, in fact you did perfectly. One could say you were born to color inside the borders. Under Sun’s strict guidance, who complained and scolded you for the smallest mistake, you even made some paper pals; funky little guys which you hoped you could bring back home, but one problem stood before you and your plan. 

Every time, and I mean every, single, time you completed a drawing, Sun would grab it and examine it closely, like an art critic would. He would comment, pointing out your “talent” with so much sarcasm you could hear it dripping down in mouth, then he would shred your magnum opus to pieces. You hadn’t noticed it before, but right in front of your desk was a paper shredder, and seeing the way Sun gave your first drawing to the machine like one would do with a hungry puppy left you speechless.

-Hey!- you screamed the first time he did that, -That was mine!-

-All artistic works completed within the pizzaplex are property of Fazbear Entertainment,- replied Sun in a cold and monotone voice, -Now, get back to work.-

Of course, not everything you did was met with compliments, actually more than often the daycare attendant straight up insulted you with his snarky little comments.

-You call that art!? Get good!-

-Oh, I feel dumber just looking at it.-

-Once more from the top, with talent.-

-Wrong, wrong, wrong!-

-It stinks.-

How, just how could a drawing stink? It made no sense! He obviously had a grudge against you or something, there was no way that robot was actually judging your talent in coloring numbers and gluing pieces of paper together.

Still, you sucked in your breath and stayed silent. You knew there was no way you could tell him to stop insulting you without risking repercussions. Finally, after one too many shredded paper pals, Sun interrupted you and told you to put the dart gun down.

-Good job!- he rejoyed, and this time he actually seemed happy, -You have earned your artistic license!- 

The animatronic pulled out of nowhere a piece of paper decorated with many stars, along with multiple doodles of Sun and a similar guy you had never seen before. He was wearing a nightcap and starry pants, and a bell in your mind told you “Moondrop”. Oh, right, like the candy. 

-Write your name there, the date of today and your birthday. Or not, I don’t care. You can leave now,- spoke Sun, hurriedly, and you stared up at him in surprise.

-So… that’s it? I’m done?- you asked, and the robot nodded along. Oh, so that was why he looked so happy, he could kick you out of the daycare now that the testing was complete. You stood up from your seat, wondering if you were free to leave or if you had to wait for someone. Considering Sun was staring into your soul, you guessed straight up leaving was the best option. 

-Then, uhm… see you, I guess?- you tried to smile, and Sun cocked his head to the side. Why were you smiling at him? Why hadn’t you left already? The last guy usually walked out without saying anything as soon as he got the license. You were quite the weirdo. 

-See you, Friend,- he said anyway, waving a huge hand in your direction as you began to walk towards the door. Thinking about it, you weren’t that bad, or at least Sun thought he hated you less than other humans. He was still thinking about when you apologized to him, automatically, like he was a fellow person and not a machine. Sun found himself smiling, happy to know that at least someone was scared enough of him to respect him, while you speed walked out of the pizzaplex, holding your bag close to your body. 

Shit, your first experience with a robot and you had found a complete maniac! Let’s just hope Faz&Co won’t call you for another test any time soon.

[elderberries-and-honey]

𝙈𝙮 𝘾𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨 & 𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜

A while back I received this question asking if I'd mind explaining what my creative process is like and some wanted further explanation about what goes into planning multiple generations & arcs. I do apologize that this is so overdue, and it's literally taken me months to get to. My process is always changing, and I'm constantly adding in pieces that help make the process easier. Because of this, the way I answered the question back then is also quite outdated, at least in terms of how I plan each shoot/post, and I'll hopefully provide further clarification below the cut.

However, first and foremost, I want to say I am by no means an expert and different processes work for different people. Your creative process might look totally different than mine, and that's okay! Whatever keeps you coming back and sharing your work is always going to be the best & most efficient way of doing things.

But I do think it's helpful to get insight into what works for others when you have no clue how to plan things like this, or where to even begin. So, without further ado, here is my process.

Mainly, I use a website called Milanote. It's super helpful for organization purposes, and it's mostly free. They have free templates you can use, or you can make your own. The only downside to it is you're limited on the number of "cards" that are available to you. They do have a promo that you can use where if you get someone else to sign up, you get more cards, which is what I did.

My main folder basically looks like this:

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙀𝘼𝙍𝘾𝙃

The research folder is an unorganized, organized mess and basically just looks like this:

This is where I keep all my resources, and all of the things I've researched for my story. As you can see, this includes various sources like YouTube videos, various articles, quotes, photos and even some music as well. I like having this all in one place so it's easily accessible for me, but you could just easily keep all of this in a Google or Word doc if you're low on 'cards'.

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘼𝙍𝘾𝙎

Next we have these two sections. Obviously, I had to cover them up to avoid spoilers but I did label them to hopefully provide insight. Essentially, for this decade in particular, there are going to be various arcs happening at once, especially since the children will be growing into adults and laying their foundation is going to become crucial to the story. However, I'm trying to limit myself from having too much going on at once, which is why I try to limit myself to only four arcs playing out at once.

I will also say that Plot's A through C are interconnected, or at least they will be eventually, while Plot D concerns one of the children and will impact things later down the line. This is super important for really tying different ideas together, and making sure random plots don't seem to just pop up out of the blue.

The table for myself helps a lot with this, so that I can easily see what arcs have been started, and how many 'scenes' each one has. I find this to be useful because then I know that none of the arcs are stretching too long, which ones might need more fine tuning and which ones have yet to flourish or even begin.

Each arc basically has something like this going from beginning to end, essentially following the classic three act structure. Not all of them have five components, some more or less, but generally it ends up being five. Now, this doesn't mean every plot is only five posts or anything like that. Most of the time, the timeline of events needs to be broken off into bite sized pieces and that's okay.

The resolution doesn't always mean a happy ending, and can also serve as a way for me to introduce any new arcs for a specific character, which would then start the process over. You can kind of think about this when watching a lot of television shows. We watch all this build up starting on episode one, and things get more and more intense until we finally reach the season finale. And then woah, with two minutes left of the episode, we see that the character they just thought was dead is actually alive?! Which then leads us into season two.

I do think planning this way could feel really tedious for some, but I like to map things out before I start introducing any arcs so I at least know it isn't a quick "one shot" plot, something without actual purpose or an arc that doesn't really seem to have any sort of end goal that makes logical sense. It also just helps me remember what everyone's up to, especially when there are so many characters to keep track of.

𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙀

Before I go into the game, I basically write out a "rough draft" of sorts. This includes dialogue, any background noises (things like a clock ticking or the tapping of a pencil), a brief description of each shot/photo (including any post-editing things like adding blur effect), and a summary of what's happening in each panel.

Because I only use one document for this, and clear it out once I complete a scene, I do not have any examples to show from The Baudelaire Legacy, so I created a mock-up scenario in which Ozzy flunks a difficult test at school, as seen below.

Once I have that written, I plug it into my 'scene planning' board. However, I only include the shot/photos, and the short summary. On Milanote, I also plug in the location, time of day, attire and any pose accessories I might need (so that I remember to create an extra outfit for it). This ends up looking like the example below.

I typically will only have this open on my second monitor while I'm shooting the scene, and I just tick the boxes as I go along. This is really nice if you have to stop mid-shoot, and helps me pick up where I left off without getting confused.

I do also edit each panel in-between shooting to make sure I'm getting the shots I want, however, I don't encourage everyone to have Photoshop and Sims 4 open at the same time.

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎

Then we have the character sheets for each of our characters. Right now, I'm only focusing on Lawrence & Winifred (though, the children's arcs are in a 'idea dump' document).

For me, this is the most important piece of the story. One of the reasons shows like The Sopranos and Breaking Bad are considered some of the best writing in television history, is mostly due to the fact that, in my opinion, they prioritize this as well. It's always good to have a strong character in mind before you begin, and this is because you don't want them to step outside themselves.

Of course, your character can change and bend within their environment or plots happening around them, and they certainly should, but you also need to ask yourself if it's being done logically. Asking yourself, 'Why did they end up this way?', 'How did we get here?' and 'How would this character specifically react to an intense situation, stress or hardship?' is crucial when writing a character that feels alive.

Having something like this helps me build their "character arc" and map it out so no one ends up being left in the dust and makes sure that everyone is important in some way. Each of the children will have a sheet created for them once they reach the teen life state as well.

I also use this page as a way to record any quirks, or habits they have. These don't have to be major or super important either. So for example, on Lawrence's character sheet, I have it written down that he wears glasses to read; a very small thing casual readers probably wouldn't even pay attention to, so it feels like an important detail to me.

𝙈𝙔 𝙎𝙋𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙎𝙃𝙀𝙀𝙏𝙎

In addition to Milanote, I also Google Sheets/Docs. This is where I keep my spreadsheet and write / keep a hard copy of my story.

My spreadsheet is basically broken up into four different tabs - one for the main sims information (the Baudelaire's), side household information, my story posts and my ageing table.

My information tables look something like this:

For story posts, I use @aheathen-conceivably's method of tracking, which you can read about here. The only thing I have added in addition to what she has is a "notes" section, and this where I include any sort of post that doesn't specifically fit into any arc but is still important - things like birthdays, marriages, holidays, etc.

𝙈𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙇𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙀𝙊𝙐𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝙁𝙊𝙍𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

In addition to all of these things, I also use Pinterest to create moodboards for each decade, as well as each character. I like to include all sorts of things like any inspiration I'm drawing from (so, things like Greta Gerwig's Little Women or HBO's Gilded Age), photos, quotes, etc.

Annnnd that's basically it! I'm hoping this provides some good insight, and is helpful in some way. I know it seems like a lot, but the more you do it, and the more you plan, the more natural it will start to feel. Again, I am not an expert in any way, and it's always difficult to explain your process in this way (and probably why I put off trying to do so for such a long time). So, please feel free to ask for clarification in regards to any part of the above.

Happy Simming ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃

[massivechildtidalwave]

skull using his cloud abilities for things other than death for comedic effect.

Everyone seems to focus on Skulls inability to die and the implications of it with the arcobaleno and I love that, I really do but I feel like that ends up being the only thing people focus in on.

His immortality is only really featured in hurt/comfort ways or straight angst where he is a complex character putting on a fake show and the arcobaleno,trained professionals in the art of survival and lying, are none the wiser. I like these fics and I’m not trying to bring anyone down who makes them but can’t we do better?

his immortality is often suggested to be a part of his cloud flames but no one really focused on his flames only the one part. Skull is a complex character but given what we have seen, I don’t think he would be mourning the lost of an ability to die.

Imagine for a second- Skulls territory is his circus freaks; runaway children who join the circus and flock to him as a playful older cousin figure when trying to find their place. One day he overhears that one of them want to go to school but oh no it’s expensive… a very quick way to gain money would be selling organs because not everyone can afford to go to the hospital and wait out their turn on the waiting list…. And Skull knows he can heal any damage taken to his body.

cue montage of him traumatizing the shit out of surgeons thinking he’s dead, mafia men who came to the circus trying to take away HIS territory and more… this could be pre curse and you just see him meet the other arcobaleno in hilarious(for us) ways. Skull doesn’t like pain but the cash is cash and when he finds a surgeon who knows what they are doing and not afraid of him waking up, he can get medicated enough to not feel it.

there is no angst, only crack and concern as he basically throws questionable money at his horde of adopted baby siblings like a stripper.

He decides letting people attack him isn’t a fast enough plan and steals medical scalpels from Verdes lab in clear view of the cameras. No machinery, none of Verdes studies or experiments or research, just the scalpels so he can do it himself. He doesn’t even know who Verde is. Verde is left confused as fuck because most people tried to steal his work and how did this random person he can find no where in the mafia circles get through his traps.

Skull goes to Triad Territory not even knowing what it is because one of his newest tag alongs used to live there and he wants to gather supplies for them. He has the cash why not. Cue montage of him intentionally pissing off the “weird fire assholes” and narrowly missing encountering Fon and when he does run into him, getting away quickly. Not because he is faster than Fon, that’s almost impossible but because he is willing to take landings most people couldn’t.

he knows he can survive throwing himself off a roof to escape a overpowered asshole, why not!

Fon is left in confusion about how the person whose pulse had stopped three times ( he started checking after the first revival from a cracked neck) is still moving.

Why has no one realized he’s a cloud? Healing is something internal, his system is healing him constantly due to his shenanigans and are less “visibly present” during all the meetings with Mafia kind because of this.

[writingquestionsanswered]

how should i go about writing if i keep deleting and restarting everything I have every few minutes ??

The first thing to do is figure out why you feel the need to delete. Here are some things to consider...

1 - Do you know what you're trying to write? It's easy to imagine a writer as sitting down at the keyboard with an empty mind, and then--like turning on a faucet--a story simply flows out of them. But that's not really how writing works. Even the most organic writer sits down with a premise in mind, not to mention a basic grasp of how stories work--or at least they type of story they want to tell. If you sit down without these things and try to write a story, you're pretty much just snatching random ideas out of the air and hoping they take root, and it can be really hard to write a story that way. The solution is to spend some time learning about how stories work, then spend some time thinking up a premise, characters, and a story goal.

2 - Do you need a more solid plan? Not all writers can sit down with only a premise, characters, and story goal and create a story from that. Some of us need to do more planning. Some of us need to do a lot more planning. If you're trying to write a novelette/novella/novel, you might take a look at some different story structure templates to get an idea of the kind of structure that would work well for the story you want to tell. Story structure templates can be a helpful guide in figuring out what beats you need to hit, and you can use elements from different ones. Whatever works for your story. You might also consider doing a plot summary, timeline, scene list, scene cards, or any number of other things to help plan and plot your story.

3 - Are you focusing too much on quality? To (badly) paraphrase Ira Glass, the thing that got you into writing in the first place is your taste... you have good taste in stories, and you know what makes a story good. But if you're just starting out, or if you don't have a large volume of work under your belt, what you're putting out is probably not as good as you want it to be. That can be really, really frustrating, because we know what kind of writing we want to put out there, but when we feel like it's not happening, we want to backspace over it all. The thing is, though, writing is a craft. Like any other craft, the only way to get better at it is to practice, and practice means cranking out the less good stuff and accepting that it's a necessary part of the journey. If dancers watched the choreography for a performance one time and instantly did it perfectly, there would be no such thing as dance practice. If people took one piano lesson and could play a perfect concerto, we wouldn't have piano lessons or practice. So, even when the writing doesn't feel as good as you want it to be--or maybe feels downright awful--you have to push past the urge to backspace over it and get caught up on quality. You have to keep writing forward. And hey... editing and revision exists because there's always room to take the "rough draft" and make it better.

4 - Are you letting yourself get distracted? Few things make writing more difficult than distractions. If you know how stories work, know your premise, have done the planning you need to do, and aren't stressing about quality, but you still find yourself backspacing and starting over every few minutes, it could be due to distractions. If your phone is buzzing every minute, your sister is playing loud music in her room across the hall, the neighbor's dog is barking up a storm, or you can't stop thinking about something that happened at work--those interruptions are going jam up your momentum, and when you're constantly jerking to a stop like that, frustration makes you cranky and you're liable to backspace over something even if it's not a problem. So, if you can, try to eliminate distractions as much as possible when you sit down to write.

5 - Other possibilities... Even if none of the above situations seem to fit, it's still worth taking some time to consider what else might be going on. Can you find a pattern in what you're deleting and why? If you dig deep, and you maybe figure out what the issue is? What are some potential solutions?

I hope something here will help you get to where you're moving forward with your writing again.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[androgynousblackbox]

This Life We Build. 1 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Okay, so this is basically an AU of my Arranged Marriage AU. We can call it Fluffy AM AU lol This would take place after the epilogue in "How I Met Your Father", but I really think it would make it easier if you read the first chapter of "How to Lose a Lucifer in 10 Days". Only the first chapter, though! After that the plot starts off. Here, there is no plot or don't plan to. Just pure self indulgent fluff. Also! I reserve the right to make up any prompts I want and jump the timeline because, again, this is just for fun. Not all chapters may contain smut. [Day 1: Pregnancy test + electro stim]

Something was wrong.

Alastor knew it when the third attempted Overlord and their minions of the week came to try to prove themselves in front of the king that Vox had announced on their dumb boxes. He could still take them down without much of an issue, but this time, for the first time ever, he felt lightheaded when returning back to his original size. When he called upon his own minions to take care of the bodies, he stumbled one time on his own foot.

It was all Lucifer needed to appear at his side as soon he came inside the hotel.

"I am fine" said, instinctively, but the tiny angel was already pressing a hand on his forehead, that did felt warmer than usual.

It wasn't a fever, though. It was the heat of after doing exercise. For a few days now, it was taking him more effort than expected to use his magic. The first time he noticed it, he though maybe it was an issue with himself still needing to learn to regulate his own powers after coming back to hell, like how he had to adapt a new muscle to the use he wanted to give it. But even if that was the case, it would happen too with small task and it didn't. It was only when he needed to do something bigger or get into his full demonic form that he could feel the limit. Not to mention how he never had that problem right after falling, when the contract with Lucifer came into full effect. It was only on the past week or so.

"Cut the bullshit" Lucifer sighed, holding his cheek. "We are going to the Sloth Ring."

Alastor protested in principle. He was just hungry despite all the minions and their leader he just ate. He was just tired, freshly woken up from bed. A good breakfast could solve anything, there was no need to worry so much. Lucifer did not want to hear about it.

At the very least they didn't had to wait long. As soon Lucifer texted Belphegor, she went to look for them in the lobby and take them up to her private office. Sitting on her chair, Alastor looked up to the ceiling and then to the eight eyes in the goat face of the Queen of Sloth.

"It's not that serious" added in the end when he finished explaining. As Bel prepared herself to give him a quick exam, he shook his head to Lucifer. His husband haven't stopped looking at him with a slight frown the entire time. "My love, I am fine."

"Just for my sake then, okay?" Lucifer took his hand and squeeze it, his blue thumb rubbing the backside of his palm. For this outing he had changed into his blue shark demon look. Bel didn't have any issue to identify him directly and didn't even question the different form at all. But his voice was the same, the concern on his face was too Lucifer to hide. "I will feel better with this."

Alastor sighed. As if there was any way he could refuse anything now. But at least it had been made clear now that, if it was for him, none of this would be necessary. They barely even had time to tell Emily that they were going out for a bit before they were just gone.

"Get on the bed" said Bel, opening a curtain for him to pass inside. Alastor laid on top as Lucifer kept a hand over his shoulder. Bel's hands started to glow in purple as she passed them over his body, not touching, but still making him tense up a little. The only hands he allowed so close to him were his immediate family. Bel could count as extended one at the most. "How long have you been having this issue?"

"Not long" Alastor frowned, trying to remember. "Mmm, I want to say a week, more or less. 10 days max. That is why I wasn't thinking there was moment to get alarmed" said, sending a side eye to Lucifer. "It never impede me to do what I need to do."

"But it's there when it wasn't before" pointed Bel calmly, going over his legs extended. "That alone is worth checking to see what is going on. Luci did well. This could have escalated eventually and be harder to deal with" Alastor grunted, ignoring the satisfied smirk that Lucifer send him. Bel moved up his torso and continued, passing over both his arms and finally his head. All with the same blank sleepy expression of always, so surely she wasn't detecting anything that serious either. That is what Alastor was assuming until she spoke. "Mmm. I need another test. You can sit up."

She moved to a cabinet on the side, looking on the drawers.

"Any idea what it could be?" asked Lucifer, letting his warm hand on Alastor's back as soon he changed position.

"I have an idea, but I need to confirm it" Bel came back with a wide stick of light grey on her hand. "Put this into your mouth, over your tongue. It won't take much."

As Alastor did, resigned to his fate, that was probably goin to include rest, Bel sat on her chair again.

"How about you, Luci? You didn't feel anything different lately?"

Lucifer shook his head.

"Absolutely nothing. If something was happening with the girls, I think they would have told us already. So at least it's not contagious, right?"

"No, it's not" Bel looked at the clock on her wall and then at the stick of Alastor, slowly blinking as the extreme that wasn't behind Alastor's teeth started colouring on a soft lilac. When the whole things was painted, she extended her hand to grab it. Alastor growled low for a second before forcing himself to relax again, realizing that nobody was taking food out of him. "I see" she said, her eyes going big for a moment. But once that second was gone, they were back to their half lid default. "Luci, you never checked on his magic, right?"

"No" Lucifer frowned, immediately a sense of guilt sinking his eyes. "Should I?"

"It's best if you do" Bel nodded. "I can tell you now, you are not sick" added to Alastor.

Lucifer turned to him, taking the hand that he kept on his lap to ask for permission before. He nodded, bracing himself for he weird feeling of having his being naked in a way that had nothing to do with his clothes. The first time it happened it was such a shock he could only interpretate like an attack, but now it was just something different he couldn't quite prepare himself for even if he knew it was coming. The previously yellow eyes of Lucifer turned into red and looked at him, his gaze instantly landing on his abdomen. He tilted his head to a side.

"What?" asked Alastor, not really liking his silence.

"What is that?" asked Lucifer to Bel instead of answering.

"So you do see it" said Bel. Just when Alastor was about to demand what they were talking about, she looked up to him. "You are pregnant."

Alastor stared at her like she just spoke gibberish.

Lucifer blinked, his red eyes glued to the same spot a second longer before they came back to normal, seeing at Alastor.

"You are" said, breathless. "I can show you" added with urgency, squeezing the hand of Alastor in his again.

In front of Alastor's eyes it was his own silhouette, full with green magic in constant movement. On his stomach there was a glowing white spot that was also moving without losing that essential circular shape.

"That…" said Lucifer and his voice sounded so close to chocking up that Alastor squeezed him back. "That is a baby. Is a baby, right, Bel?"

"Yes" confirmed Bel calmly.

"How?" said Alastor, like it was the only word he was capable of pronnouncing.

"It's a magical pregnancy. Both of your magic must have combined when you both wished for a new child and made it possible. The reason you have been feeling tired so much it was because the fetus needed your energy to keep form. You were using even more magic that you thought at once. If you were a normal sinner it would have dissolved already without more magic from the father. I imagine that in a month or so that would have happened here too. If you want to keep it, it was a good thing you came now."

Alastor blinked and his vision went back to normal. He turned to Lucifer, the expectation on his face so pulled back that he had to reach out, cupping his cheek. The king exhaled sharply, as if it burned.

"What is that if about?" Alastor brought him closer, kissing his forehead. "Of course we are having it. Of course. Aren't we?" he hummed softly as he kissed the tears that started to fall from Lucifer's eyes. His silly king could get so worried over nothing. How could he even imagine for a second he was going to have any other response? "You wanted it too, didn't you? Why are you surprised?" teased lightly, nuzzling his temple.

Lucifer whimpered without words as hold him tight, burying his head on his chest as Alastor squeezed him tight back. A nice melody all around them was the only way he had to express how full and content he was, his body vibrating with radio static coming from his core.

Maybe it wasn't what any of them expected or planned for, but right at that moment that didn't matter at all. They were going to make it work, somehow. Just like they did for Charlie and Emily, they would do as well for the new addition to their family. They had everything they could need.

"Babe" Lucifer kissed his neck and went up until he found Alastor's lip, clinging him him like he wanted to imprint his presence there. "I love you" sighed, keeping his head close to pet his ears. There were streak of tears on his cheeks, but they were drying up and his smile was so much bigger now. "I love you so much."

Alastor laughed, a light and joyious sound that reverberated with radio noises, and kissed him back, his lips and his red dot and his neck as he hugged him again, stronger than before.

Bel stared at her wall, full of pills of every color in the rainbow. Either because she genuinely did not care or for giving them that moment, she didn't say a word until Lucifer adressed her again by wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up. She was like a rag doll, a doll that was bigger and taller than him, but the king did not mind at all.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" said Lucifer, laughing. "You have given us the best news ever, Bel! You are the best! How can I repay you?"

"You are welcome" said Bel calmly, somehow elipping an arm-tentacle from the grip of Lucifer to clumsily pat his head a few times. "I won't charge you, but you need to know a few things. If you let me sit I can tell you."

"Thank you" Lucifer giggled, giving her one final and especial kind of strong squeeze, before letting her come back to her chair.

If she were anything else but a Sin, they would have heard the sound of her ribs crushing already. Instead she just plopped down, fixing up her robe.

"Well?" asked Alastor when she just looked at the bed with a wishful expression.

Bel directed her eyes at him and pronnounced a little oh, suddenly remembering.

"Right. The baby needs the magic of both parents to keep growing. It's a similar process as what you did for Charlie already. Just one minute for week of magical transference should be enough. If you want to add more minutes it's fine, it won't hurt them. The magic will just go to the pregnant father if it's not absorbed by the baby. I can teach you a way to keep track of so you know if you need more."

Bel taught him a little sigil to know the level of magic the baby needed. After drawing it on the air, the color it glowed would be the status. For now the levels were at a dull green, out of danger, but it was best if they could do one as soon they could. It had to be a brighter green. If it was ever in red, that was their sign something was wrong already. Alastor could feel Lucifer tensing up at his side as his grip on his waist became stronger. He draw circles on his back to calm him down as Bel continue. They were never going to let it get anywhere close to red, that was for sure.

Since it was magical, and not entirely biological, Alastor was going to have significant less symptons than usual, but they could still be there. For that, there were pills. If he had trouble sleeping, there were pills. If anything at all was stressing him out, that wouldn't be nice for the baby, so there were pills. He could eat and drink whatever is that he wanted without worrying. Finally, she wanted to keep checking on the baby every month to make sure it was developing normally. It was exactly two weeks since the conception started so they would have to come back in other two.

Lucifer made some questions, to ease his own mind. Bel answered everything as succintly as she could, not minding to repeat it when Lucifer just wanted to double check. When all of their doubts were resolved, Lucifer hugged her again, thanking her for everything, and Alastor shook her hand. Once they were traspassed the portal to go back home, landing in front of the hotel, Lucifer had a bag full of pills hanging from his shoulder and the biggest smile he had in years.

"Oh, Charlie and Emily are going to be so excited!" squealed, opening the door to let Alastor in. "We have to tell everyone!"

As soon the door was closed behind them, Alastor pushed Lucifer behind a curtain with his tentacles. The little king let out a gasp before Alastor reclaimed his mouth, holding his chin up. He didn't know, but he felt possessive, as if needing to leave his mark all over the father of his unborn kid before letting the rest of the world even know that it existed.

"You heard the doctor, love" whispered, taking a hand of Lucifer. He guided his tentacles to open up his shirt from the bottom up, placing the warm palm of his husband above the fur on his stomach. His skin was still flat, as if nothing had happened, but soon that was going to change. He kissed Lucifer hungrily, sucking on his lips. The curtain was a heavy cover that wouldn't let anyone even know what they were doing, as long they weren't too loud, but even that could be handled with an easy spell from his own fingers. "Our baby needs his papa."

"How could I forget" Lucifer sighed, licking his own lips before bringing him down again, turning him around so now Alastor's back was against the wall. The hand that was over on his stomach slipped under his pants, his underwear, rubbing his mound of fur until Lucifer recieved a nod from Alastor. "How do you want it, baby?" asked, opening the pants of Alastor to pull them down. He gripped his ass between his fingers, mouth watering already. "Hand, tongue or cock? Anything for the good daddy."

"Hand" Alastor punctuated his response by taking the wrist of Lucifer and pushing it on his underwear, further ahead until he moaned with the intimate contact.

He looked over to the side of the curtain, controlling that nobody was getting in or out, but it was as deserted as it was when they left in the first place. If any force on the universe were interrupted them now, he was going to destroy them for the rest of eternity until there was nothing left. This was his little moment of celebration and was going to grab it with open claws if he had to.

"So wet already, babe" Lucifer grunted, pushing inside to his knuckles with two fingers. Alastor grabbed to his shoulders, shivering in delights as he rotted his hips, rubbing himself on the palm. Lucifer's chuckles was like the most pleasant grumble from his chest. "Does carrying my baby makes you like that? Are you going to be one slutty daddy for me?"

"Maybe" Alastor panted as the fingers kept moving, relentless. "You will have to make sure our baby keeps growing to find out. "

Lucifer's grunt came out with a bit of fire between his teeth. Alastor extended his legs further to get down on the wall, grabbing Lucifer by the back of his head to steal a smoky kiss, the tip of his tongue getting so warm as he pressed it inside Lucifer's mouth. For a moment both his tongue entangled on each other, one tasting of hell fire and destruction in such a way Alastor wanted to swallowed it whole, let it burn his insides as much as the fingers were driving him insane.

"Here I go" said Lucifer.

Alastor didn't know what was going, but then a warm, tingling sensation that had nothing to do with Lucifer's movement went up from his fingers to inside of him. His vision was changed again to show him his figure, his magic, and traces of golden magic that were taken out by the white spot inside of him. Everytime a new trace of gold appear, a new little shot of electricity made him jolt, vibrating.

It all lasted a couple of blinks and then he was looking again at the yellow eyes of Lucifer, brow furrowed slightly in concentration.

"Does it feel good?" asked Lucifer. "I can make it softer. Or stronger. You tell me."

"Stronger" Alastor braced himself, holding onto him when the big shock came. The sudden stimulation made him moan harder, one large sound that extended in the air. After that shock, Lucifer added a third finger and kissed his jaw.

"You are taking it so well, baby. You are such a good daddy already" Lucifer's voice smiled before he could see it.

Alastor nuzzled against his head and bite on his cheek down at the next shock, breathing sharply. This one went from Lucifer's fingers to his palm, immediately on top of his sensitive nub. He gave a strangled scream, mouth open, before furiously licking on the droplets of golden blood offered up to him. The sudden warmth of the blood, as if swallowing down whiskey during a blizzard, quickly extended to the rest of his body, making him relax again.

When Lucifer shocked him again, Alastor lost all strenght on his legs. As if sensing, or predicting it before then, Lucifer grabbed him from under his ass to keep him up as he finger fucked him through his orgasm. Alastor moaned, his voice rasping with each exhale, until Lucifer slowly pulled out. He bite down his own lip when Lucifer made a show of cleaning himself up with his tongue, sucking on each tip. Then the king reached out to kiss him, his own flavor and smell still over him.

"Do you think that is enough?" asked Lucifer in a whisper, barely moving.

"If not, I would be surprised" Alastor sighed. The bite on the cheek was already completely healed, so he kissed gently the zone and nuzzled him. "Do you want me to do something for you?"

"Later, at night" Lucifer smiled, petting his head, scratching around his ears. Alastor hummed satisfied, feeling his tail wagging at the attention. A little involuntary squeak came out of him. "You are so cute" chuckled Lucifer, kissing his cheek.

"Shut up" grunted Alastor. He took a breath and started to put his hooves on the ground again, when he remembered. "Darling."

"I know" Lucifer snapped his fingers. Alastor squinted his eyes when a quick and sudden surge of magic passed between his legs, cleaning up his underwear. "Better?"

"More decent at least" Alastor straighten up at last, pulling his pants to close them again. Next it was his shirt and last his suit jacket. He looked like always, but soon enough that was going to change. Another visit to the tailor, who would have to keep his mouth shut if he wanted to keep living. "I am going to need bigger clothes when I start showing."

"We won't have to worry about that for a while" assured Lucifer, holding his hand.

"Oh, I am not bothered at all by the idea" said, reaching down to kiss his forehead. "I can't wait" added in a whisper, leaving a caress on his cheek. "For now, we have an announcement to make, don't we?"

Lucifer perked up.

--

Five minutes later, Lucifer had conjured up a megaphone to spread his voice as far as possible through out the whole building.

"Everyone come in to the lobby to receive the best news ever that hell has ever heard about! It's nothing tragic or bad, I promise!"

The good thing of living so long around the king of hell was the ability to completely tuned out his loud shenanigans. Alastor sat down on the couch, patiently waiting for the residents and staff to start appearing.

"Is that fucking thing necessary?" grumbled Husk, covering his ears.

Once everyone was accounted for, Lucifer smiled big and cleaned up his hands on the air.

"Papa, what is happening?" asked Charlie, who despite the warning still looked worried.

"I just wanted to have all of you at once for this!" said Lucifer, enthusiastically moving to get the hand of Alastor on his and stand at his side. "We just came from visiting auntie Bel. I noticed that Alastor wasn't feeling too well this morning, so I got worried and had her test him out. That is how we find that…" Lucifer took a deep breath, like he haven't breath at all during the whole exxplanation. "He is pregnant! We are waiting for a baby!"

Almost everyone in the room instantly looked at Alastor for further confirmation of those words. It only took a simple nod from Alastor for the two princess to make loud noises. For Charlie is was a yell, as Emily squealed, running to hug Alastor.

"Am I am going to have a little sibling?!" Charlie already had tears on her eyes, not knowing what to do with herself.

Lucifer put a hand on her shoulder and nodded.

"Two weeks and counting!" said happily, lifting two fingers. "It's a magical pregnancy that could only happen because we both wanted it at the same time! So if you think about it, it was totally planned!"

Charlie babbled something that almost sounded like how happy she was and she hugged Lucifer, lifting him off the feet on one of the signature bone crushing squeeze she learned from him. The incontrollable sob of her, predictably, started causing a similar effect on Lucifer.

"Aww, sweetie" said first, before his voice was lost on the cries. It was a struggle to understand any of them as they talked over another. "I love your dad so fucking much, duckling, and I know our baby is going to be just as amazing as you are!"

"You are the best papa ever and I love you both so much, I am so happy for you!"

Vaggie sighed, patting the back of her girlfriend as she and Lucifer turned themselves into fountains. Emily looked upon them with a smile and kissed the cheek of Alastor, holding both of his hands as she kneeled

"I don't really have a lot of experience with this side of life. Or afterlife, I guess" commented with a chuckle. "In Heaven I never really saw a pregnancy up close, but I am going to learn as much as I can so I can help you out and be the best big sister I can be" promised, nodding seriously but with a happy smile on her face.

"I am sure you will, dear" Alastor kissed the top of her head. "There is more than enough time. I won't even start showing for a good few weeks."

"Showing what?" Emily tilted her head, confused.

Alastor was taken aback at that. What the fuck did they taught them in Heaven?

"Sweetie" said, gently, "do you know what pregnant means?"

"Of course I do, silly! Lucifer just said it means you are having a baby! That is very exciting."

"Do you know how I am going to have the baby?"

"By…" Emily blinked, thinking it over as a small crease was created between her eyes, "Huh. I guess it appears when it's ready?"

"Not exactly" Alastor took one of her hands and put it over his stomach. "The baby is already here, inside my body, but they are still too small. The more they grow up, this part of me will change to contain them. Then one day they are going to be big enough to get out my body and live here with us."

"Is that how it works?!" Emily's eyes were full of wonder at the new information. She pressed her palm down on Alastor for a second, looking to feel something, and then pulled out, suddenly scared. "Sorry, I shouldn't do that! I don't want to hurt them. Are they okay?"

Alastor chuckled, cupping her cheek.

"They are fine, dear. Like I said, they are too small so it's mostly just my own body now. You didn't hurt any of us."

"Oh" Emily sighed. "Good. I definitely need to read more on it then. How long are they going to be inside your body?"

"If everything goes alright, it should be nine months. That usually is how long it takes."

"Oh, that is really a lot of time. Like almost a year! Is there something I can do to help them come out sooner?"

Alastor smiled, petting her head. Internally damming all of Heaven again because how could let an angel live for so long in ignorance of a big part of human life.

"No, dear. They need that time to develop properly. Your father and I" said, looking at Lucifer, who for some reason had decided to include Vaggie on his hug. Now he and Charlie were sniffling on each side of the fallen angel, doing her best to calm them both "will take care of them to ensure that happens. For now there is nothing else to do but wait."

"I will still do my due research!" promised Emily, standing up to hug him again. "Do you need anything right now? Juice? Water? Something?"

Please, let not this be the start of all of their interactions becoming into this, begged Alastor internally.

"No, dear, thank you. If I want something, I can still get it myself. No need to fret so much" said, feeling relieved when Husk approched him. "Yes?"

"I am going to go ahead and assume that this is real" said, making a pointing gesture to Lucifer finally returning to the floor to recieve the congratulations of everyone else. He looked positively ectatic. "Not even you would be so fucked up to make a joke out of this."

"Why, thank you."

"And you didn't do a terrible job with Charlie either. Although a big portion of that was Lucifer."

"That is usually how parenting with a partner goes, indeed."

Husk took a deep breath and exhaled, as if saying the next part was taking a lot of him.

"I am just saying, when that baby comes out, I am not changing any diapers. Congratulations or whatever" said, turning around to return to the bar.

"Was that a positive interaction or a negative one?" asked Emily in a whisper.

She was still struggling with the nuances of hellish beings.

"Positive. I think" Alastor wasn't entirely sure himself, but he was going to take what he could. After everything that happened, that was probably the most he could get from Husk.

The winged cat didn't had the same reservations about congratulating Lucifer, going so far as to endure one of his hugs. With her eyes finally not leaking. Charlie came running to wrap her arms around him. Alastor patted her back and didn't mind when he could hear another tinu sniffle.

"I am so… so happy for you, dad" said Charlie, kissing his cheek. Her emotions were still on the surface, but at least she was in better control of them. "Are you okay now? Do you need anything?"

"That is what I said!" pointed out Emily.

"Please, don't" Alastor sighed, taking both of her hands. "Dears, I came back from a doctor who said I am fine. I was merely a little tired because the baby was absorbing magic without me knowing it. Now that we do know, we can take care of them adequately. Do no start worrying so much over me when there is no need at all. That is going to be Lucifer's job anyway."

"My job is what now?" said Lucifer, finally joining them.

"That you are going to be the one fretting over me from now on, darling, so the girls don't have to. Isn't that right?"

"Absolutely!" Lucifer perked up, sitting on the couch next to him and hugging him from the side. It seemed that he just had way too many hugs inside he needed to disperse all around. Alastor couldn't say that it bothered him too much. "You two just concentrate on being big sisters and leave everything else to papa! That is what I am here for!"

Charlie pouted, but then Emily grabbed her arm.

"Where is the baby going to sleep?" asked Emily.

Charlie gasped loudly, grabbing her cheeks.

"We can totally decorate one of the rooms of the hotel! And their room at the palace too! It's going to be the cutest room ever!"

As Charlie and Emily got invested on talking about what the room on their baby sibling could include, Lucifer kissed his cheek. Alastor hold onto the arm around his middle. Planned or not planned, he thought, this was okay.

[heimeldat]

Heimeldat! I have a weird question and I’d love to know what you think! What sort of calendar system do you think a temporally sensitive species like Gallifreyans would use? I’ve been wondering like, they’ve got to have some kind of official clock timekeeping and calendar, the Time Lords are way too officious and bureaucratic not to have some way to keep meetings scheduled and events organized. But what would that even look like? How would it work? Would it be something that could even be written down or would it just, live in the Matrix where they can access it like a giant Google drive? I dunno!

This is probably the dullest thing possible to be curious about but, how do you ask the question “what Earth year was this Time Lord born” and get any kind of answer? Like was the Master actually born in what would be 1800 or something? If you tried to hold the Doctor up to a calendar would they have been born in the year 3000 on an Earth scale? Like, what is “contemporary” Earth for them! Shh yes obviously it’s all and none but STILL.

This is stupid, I’m sorry, I just love your headcanons for things like this so I had to ask. No it doesn’t matter but I also want to know 😂

It's not stupid at all! I love getting this sort of ask, it's such fun to blather about my headcanons lol!

Right, so Gallifrey (or more accurately, the Eye of Harmony at the core of the planet) is one of the anchor points around which the entire Web of Time is woven, so it can't be part of regular continuity. The planet is described as existing "outside the meta-structure of history." Normal linear time does pass on Gallifrey, but it's a self-contained timeline, out of sync with the rest of the universe.

The result of this is that the Gallifreyan calendar is as straightforward as ours, but it can't be aligned with any other calendar in the universe. Gallifrey measures days, months, years, etc. just like any other planet, but those measurements only have meaning with reference to one another. You can convert length of time but not coinciding times. In other words, the Doctor can translate his age from Gallifreyan years to Earth years, but his Gallifreyan birth-year doesn't correspond to any particular year on Earth. All of spacetime is basically happening "now" from Gallifrey's perspective outside the Vortex-proper; conversely, everything in Gallifreyan history is happening "now" (or never) from the outside perspective.

Basically, when you're on Gallifrey, it's totally logical to ask "How long ago did Rassilon live?" but that question has no real meaning when you're anywhere else in spacetime. There's a correct answer to "Who was President of the Time Lords when the Doctor was born?" but there can't ever be a correct answer to "Who was King of England when the Doctor was born?" The Time Lords therefore don't consider any other civilization to be their "contemporaries" because everything offworld is seen as simultaneously long past and yet to occur. Gallifrey is the "single, all-seeing eye set apart from the rest of history" and they'll never let you forget it.

[skinks]

SPOILERS FOR SALTBURN

I haven’t seen Promising Young Woman but I did just see Saltburn and now I’m so dubious about Fennell’s politics that I’m basically obligated to see PYW to confirm my suspicions. It’s not that I think she’s conservative necessarily, but more that she’s so upper class London nepo baby rich that she could aspire to socialist feminism as much as she likes but it’ll never land because her background precludes her from ever having anything relevant to say about class.

There were things I liked about Saltburn. The editing, performances, black humour, costumes, sets, cinematography (NOT the aspect ratio - will explain) and the ballsiness of certain “transgressive” scenes I did appreciate. This is what makes it so frustrating and disappointing as a film. If you turn your brain off, it’s a wild ride, quite hypnotic and lovely to look at in that specific dreamy way that the dark, cool interiors of a house get on the hottest days of the summer. I hated the 4:3 aspect ratio though, it was POINTLESS. Why was it used? Surely it would have made more sense to capture the grand expansiveness of the titular estate in widescreen? It just felt twee for twee’s sake, like it was shot to produce compositions ready-cropped for big gifs on tumblr.

The “shocking” “transgressive” “erotic” stuff is not particularly any of those things. I mean, for me anyway. It might titillate the type of new-puritan gen z-ers who self censor it to “seggs”, but there was only one sequence that felt really “wow, I haven’t seen that in movie before!” levels of Going There. And even then these scenes always felt self-consciously affected, like Fennell only included them because she wanted to write a movie with fReAkY stuff, as opposed to the freaky stuff coming organically from the characters. I remember sitting in the cinema to see Call Me By Your Name feeling like I was burning to a crisp at the scene where Elio huffs a pair of a man’s used swim trunks - because it felt so authentic to this expression of a character who is at critical levels of desperate teenage horniness. In Saltburn, when Oliver gets down on his knees and slurps Felix’s jizzy bath water, it’s like… okay? Why? What does he want? We saw him lie about knowledge of the fancy plates to ingratiate himself to the dad, we already have reason to distrust anything he says, so it’s hard to believe he has any authentic desire for Felix. And that’s the main problem with the whole movie - the writing is fairly atrocious.

There’s no mystery. There’s no ANYTHING. There’s a tiny quick-cut flash montage of future events in the movie right at the start of the thing, so already we’re going in with no doubts that Oliver is gonna go nuts. So we know that bad shit is gonna happen, and yet the movie pulls out a big Twist Ending reveal like we… weren’t supposed to know that he’s been bad from the beginning? We don’t need all these flashbacks to show us he’d planned his dastardly deeds offscreen the whole time when we’ve already seen him commit OTHER dastardly deeds ONSCREEN. He’s given zero motivation. He tells us he did what he did because he hates this rich family, starting with Jacob Elordi’s Felix, but he had planned the whole thing from before they ever even met, or saw how the family treats the other two main victims of class in the film, Pamela and Farleigh. When Oliver starts spinning his web, Felix has never been anything but genuinely kind to him. Felix never did him any personal wrong except being born handsome, popular, and rich.

That’s the other glaring issue. Fennell has said this is supposed be another one of these “eat the rich” satires, but…. beyond the usual foot-in-mouth clueless social blunders, the movie portrays none of the rich family as even all that bad. Oliver isn’t even all that poor! His family are revealed to be extremely comfortably upper-middle class! This is not Parasite!!! The worst ethical thing they do is cut off Farleigh from family money - but it’s obvious to the audience that this is actually Oliver’s fault. So all we’re left with is this main character who’s the worst of the lot, with no reason to do what he’s doing except for being an asocial loser creep. If you’re making a class satire in Britain and your message at the end of the film is “those creepy disgusting middle class will pervert and mutate themselves to have what the beautiful victimised rich people do” you’ve… uhh. Failed. Somewhere along the line.

It wants to be The Talented Mr Ripley, but it is confused and stupid. Given Fennell’s background and social circle, is it any wonder? It’s like she’s looked around at her fellow Eton Oxford lot and thought “so the poors hate us because we’re a bit silly and old fashioned, right? no wonder they’re jealous, we’re all so sexy and our houses are so nice! Of course they’d do anything to have this!” She hasn’t seemed to conceive of the fact that the working class in Britain hate the upper class because millions live in genuine poverty while they get to obstruct social change because of archaic birthright. That many people in Britain don’t actually want to be the upper class, they want an end to them.

The thing is, I had fun watching it. I laughed a lot, and then left the cinema distinctly unimpressed, as one often does after interacting with people who go to private school and are perfectly charming but clearly still think they’re better/smarter than you because they have generational land, or multiple houses. I worked for 6 years as the stable groom for the heiress to a publishing fortune, I’ve met plenty of these people, believe me. All this to say, that this is deeply frustrating because I would like to turn my brain off from the dodgy politics and just appreciate a movie that goes out of its way to be visually stylish and includes a scene where a sobbing Barry Keoghan gets naked and fucks the fresh grave of his boy best friend. Now that’s entertainment

[the-mountain-flower]

The Exiled and The Outcast

Chapter Six: What Are You Reading?

The sun was setting by the time Dainix went back inside.

He collapsed onto the sitting room sofa he’d been using as a bed, the biggest smile on his face. He was appropriately tired, and knew he was going to wake up as sore as he was used to with regular training. His heartbeat had slowed down and his adrenaline wearing off, and he was more than ready to make something to satisfy the appetite he’d built up, and pass out for the night.

For a few minutes he sat there, letting himself relax for the first time in too long.

“Feeling better?”

Mildly surprised not by the presence, but by the apparent attempt at conversation, Dainix smiled at the appearance of a now-familiar orange-haired ferin.

“Much better. I spent too much time inside.” Dainix took out his bag of food and started making his way to the fireplace.

“Yeah, you didn’t seem like the type to sit at a desk all day.” Falst said in a snarky tone.

Dainix started lighting the firewood, left over from that morning. “I saw you outside today.”

“I noticed.”

“You like drawing?”

“Eh, it’s just something to do.”

Dainix thought back to the collage in the dirt surrounding Falst. He had the strong feeling it was more than just something he did to pass the time. Then again, Falst was more walled-off emotionally than anyone Dainix had met before. Perhaps he didn’t want Dainix to know what he held close to his heart, like with the library.

“I didn’t see any of it up close, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Whatever.”

Neither or them said anything for a while after that, sitting in an awkward silence while Dainix put together something from the ingredients he had, before he asked the question that he’d been considering over the past few days.

“I noticed you never asked about the fire thing.”

“Huh?”

“I mean,” Dainix paused in his food prep, “You almost certainly know I’m an Ignan, but you never asked why I can’t just light the fire myself. I just expected you to question it.”

“Not my business, so I don’t care.”

“Gotcha.”

“That a problem?”

“No, I don’t mind either way, just curious.”

“Ashamed of it or something?”

“Not for a long time.”

“That’s good.”

A short pause. Dainix himself really didn’t mind one way or another, but worried he had poked at Falst’s curiosity when he hadn’t wanted Dainix to.

“I get the feeling you like your privacy.” Dainix handed him half of the finished meal. “Don’t worry, I won’t pry.”

“You expect me to thank you for that?”

“No, just letting you know.”

“Hm.” Falst took the food and began to leave again. Dainix sat back down with his own.

“Actually,” Falst spoke up, taking Dainix by surprise. “Can I ask something else?”

“Go ahead.”

Falst turned back to look at Dainix. “What’re you looking for?”

“Oh.” Dainix probably should’ve expected that one.

“In the library, I mean. It’s clearly important, but basically no one comes here. So, why did you?”

Dainix sighed. “I’m… I’m hunting something. Sort of.”

“Sort of? And what does it have to do with this place?”

“I hunt monsters. In order to do that, you have to understand them first. And there’s very little known about this one. Usually we keep track of every monsters’ resistances, weaknesses, where they frequent, and most importantly,” Dainix looked down at his hands. Solid, physical, human hands, “how to keep people safe from them.

“The one I’m hunting, it’s called a demon. It’s something my people only have legends about. Those legends became real for my settlement when we… encountered, one. It… it destroyed a lot.” He tried not to look at the fireplace to his left. “We’re lucky to have survived. We know so little, we had no way to stop it.

“But somewhere there has to be some information on it. That’s what I looking for. This place is my best lead right now.”

“Huh,” Falst commented, “I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.”

Dainix laughed a little. “None of us were.”

“What is a demon? Or at least what you do know.”

Dainix paused again. Lately, he’d have every reason to turn everything he’d heard about Demons over and over in his head. Hyperanalysing every detail in every story- which wasn’t much to go off of in the first place. It was a bit different to say it out loud now.

“We know they have physical forms. It contains the Demon for a time, but not forever. They’re made of an intense inner fire that, if it becomes too strong, burns away at the body and leaves a mindless being of pure instinct and emotion. You know how the part of souls made of Fire soul energy have to do with emotion? It’s like that, but it leaves room for nothing else. Once it becomes too strong for their physical form to contain, it becomes uncontrollable and volatile.”

Dainix decided to leave out the part where some stories described a Demon’s physical form being that of an Ignan. Or the more [legendary] parts that describe abilities that, if harnessed, could take out entire nests of monsters on their own. One legend described a demon saving their people by single-handedly fighting off not one, but three invading armies in her lifetime. Historical context meant that one might not even be exaggerated.

It wasn't really a monster, but maybe he had to prove that part to himself. Until he gained control of it, it was more dangerous than anything else he'd fought. Plus, as a Ravvan, it was the most plausible explanation if he was going to tell someone what he was looking for, without giving some of his more… personal reasons.

“I… can’t say I’ve heard of anything like that.”

“I’d be surprised if you had.”

“Well, it’s a big library. Good luck.” Then, Falst was gone again.

Leaving Dainix alone with his thoughts, and the lit fireplace.

He put it out early this time, long before the wood had burned away.

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They're conversation-ing! As far as awkward first conversations go, this one wasn't so bad, all things considered :)

This one was surprisingly hard to write, because it was difficult to make this conversation balance natural dialogue and the awkwardness of the interaction. I'm still not super proud of how it turned out, but I think I did okay.

Remember to drink water, eat food, take your meds (if applicable), and get enough sleep. Love you all, and have a great [insert time here]! <3