#basically keeping the promise of letting ford keep his secret

[gemallass]

Accidentally made a 1,198 words ficlet as a sequel of sorts to this post

Can you imagine that's how Stan finds out that Ford regresses? 🥺

Without waiting for a proper response to his knocking he barges into Stanford's room, after all, Stanley is a man on a mission right now: Making sure his very intelligent but also knucklehead of a brother doesn't miss on a proper meal, which, could end up in two different ways.

Case one, he has to wake him up. Or at the very least get him conscious enough that he can get a bearing of his surroundings, and, hopefully, not feed the floor too much of his food.

Stan doesn't care if Ford ends up falling asleep on the table while he cooks something up for the both of them. He doesn't care if Ford blinks one eye at a time and eats even slower, which delays the task of washing the dishes and has him counting the stains on the ceiling for the next hour. And he certainly doesn't care if he has to guide or even carry Ford back to his room when he, inevitably, ends up falling asleep at the table again.

So long as he's not starving and overeating later, anything is fair game.

Case two, he has to convince him to get away from his work, which is never easy. And after having had a few arguments over eating (turned) cold hard food, bringing the meal to said room and leaving him to it isn't an option anymore.

They both know hot meals are a privilege, why waste it?

But they also know that the habits that once helped you make it to another day are hard to get rid of.

Stanley also isn't balancing the plate on his lap, either, when there's a perfectly fine table in the kitchen. Thank you very much.

He complains, mostly to himself, no doubt, about how he can feel his stomach disintegrating due to not having put anything in it--never mind the fact that he merely woke up minutes ago--but stops abruptly when he's inches away from the end of the bed-couch. And with a hand still hovering above the covers, he finally takes in the scene before him.

His brother, the interdimensional criminal, certified badass, owner (and creator?) of a hundred spacey-looking guns and the man that went through hell at the hands of a yellow demon--who Stan also wishes he could turn into his personal punching bag to use until the end of times--and still got out alive, with most of his sense of self intact, even, was sleeping with a goddamned plushie of half his height.

And with a dark blue pacifier in his mouth.

Oh, he's so not letting dear ol' Sixer live this down any time soon. He rubs his hands together while a mischievous grin appears on his face at the mere thought of a few remarks and jokes he could do.

After all, Stanley is not going to miss the chance to expand his arsenal of things to tease Stanford with. I mean, c'mon, he looks utterly and completely adorable! What's Stan to do? Ignore it and break the sacred sibling's code? Blasphemy in its purest form, he says!

Plus, the guy looks pretty relaxed too, a whole change from the usual deal. And vulnerable, which, did also differ a bit from the usual.

Hm.

That last thought brings his previous scheming and snickering to a sudden halt. He takes a seat on a free spot on the couch, careful to not touch the sleeping man at his side, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to let the peaceful atmosphere continue. Maybe even keep it from being disrupted.

Yeah, he could do that.

Because at last, Ford hadn't woken up at the slightest sound, and started pacing as if he hadn't been asleep moments ago. At last, Ford didn't seem to be fighting for his life when he was supposed to be the most relaxed, according to normal people (and verified by his fellow nerds). At last, Stanford hadn't jumped out of bed and taken the stance of a threatened wild animal when his brother, his twin, Stanley, entered his space. Something that he seemed to have learned for survival purposes--which Stan can also relate to--and that he doesn't really fault him for, yet that it came with a price when people close to you were involved. Hurting them one way or another.

Which, speaking of, he isn't sure if Ford would take kindly to him knowing about... This... That he does.

Stanley doesn't think anything about it. Really. Specially since it seems to be so effective on helping Brainiac sleep for once. And it appears to be harmless, so, who cares? Not him, that's for sure. But, if Ford had wanted him to know, he would've spoken or at the very least mentioned it, right? Back on the boat, there were nights where they slept on the same bed due to old not-so-happy memories resurfacing, or even just nightmares involving either them or the other, and they could use the reassurance that everything was and is okay and also that the other was safe and relatively healthy (some habits did start to catch up with them and did not mix well with the old man problems. (Cursed be the nicotine manufacturers on Stan's case)).

Did Stanford need it then and there but abstained from it to not seem "weird" in his brother's eyes? Please! Stanley ran a business in Gravity Falls for 30 years, for Moses’ sake!

Surely he knows that the jokes he throws at him are just harmless banter and that he never means it as a genuine attack, right? He must know he wouldn't judge him for something like this, right? Jeez, Pointdexter, I wouldn't hit you so low. Stanley thinks. Not again, never again.

Were it not for the--quite painful--pang and literal growl of his stomach, Stanley would have continued studying his sleeping brother and thinking about how to approach the topic. If at all. But alas, he's needed somewhere else. Somewhere with fresh food. And maybe coffee.

As gently and slowly as he sat down, he gets up, but freezes mid-way through when the still figure decided to not-be-so-still anymore. His brain scrambles for a way to book it out of there without making a sound while his heart beats in his ears. Finally, when he sees that Ford was definitely still asleep, and that he also feels his soul come back to him, he gives the rest of his body permission to continue working as usual. His lungs being the first to get back into action with a big release of air and subsequently an intake.

He glances back at his brother with a soft smile one last time before deciding to take his leave.

Stanford can have his secrets. Stanley would make sure to guard and protect them (and him). Ford didn't have to know that Stan knew, if that's what he had wanted in the first place. Stanley could keep his mouth shut.

Besides, it wouldn't be lying if it was never brought up. Nothing for him to deny, so, Stan is on the clear here.

. . .

Hopefully.

[ckret2]

Chapter 23 of human Bill being the Mystery Shack's prisoner is honestly becoming a bigger inconvenience for them than for him, featuring: Bill's ex-girlfriend.

Bill wants to avoid being seen in a human body (humiliating), Mabel wants to know everything about Bill's love life, and Ford and Soos just want to get rid of the safety hazard. And somehow they start here—

—and end up here.

After going through the entire pile of library books on lucid dreaming, Bill found one to recommend to Mabel that had glossy full-color illustrations, simple little meditative exercises, and—most importantly—no information about astral projection. (It was galling enough that her brother had somehow picked up the trick without realizing it; like heck would Bill help Dipper master it unless Bill could think of some way to take advantage of his skill.)

But for himself, Bill elected to follow a slim decades-old guide that advertised full control over your dreams in four weeks or your money back. A frustratingly long wait to master his own dreamscape, but surely Bill could find a way to fend off his execution at least another four weeks. And anyway, Bill was already a dream expert—maybe he could take shortcuts a human couldn't. He'd picked this book for two reasons: it was the shortest of the books Mabel had brought home; and it had Bill's face on the inside cover page, a triangle containing a grayscale human eye. If Bill couldn't trust advice dispensed by his own face, who could he trust?

He flipped to the back of the book, to the section on all the advanced dream tricks the author promised readers could learn once they'd mastered the basics. Telepathically sharing a dream with a lover. Prophetic visions. And of course, astral projection.

He gazed wistfully at the drawing of a body with its humanoid soul floating above it, loosely tethered to its physical shell's belly button by a ghostly cord. When Bill got out, no tether would tie him back to his flesh prison, and the little soul floating free wouldn't look so human.

He hoped it wouldn't, anyway— No. It wouldn't. Surely the Axolotl had only imprisoned him, not altered him... but then, the Ax had strange ideas about mercy.

Well, Bill wasn't getting to those tricks until he mastered the basics. He flipped to the front of the book. Step one of this four-week journey was to establish...

Bill scoffed under his breath. "A dream diary? Seriously?" A primitive travel journal for psychically-stunted creatures who could only peer through the doorway of the mindscape without properly exploring it.

But right now, Bill was one of those creatures. This book was for him, no matter how condescending he thought it was.

He sighed. All right. Dream diary. Fine. Luckily, he'd already assembled all the supplies he needed.

Mabel had spilled out her crayons in front of Bill plenty of times; sometimes she even let him use them. It had taken some careful timing and preparation, but a few days ago he'd grabbed the unloved grey and greenish-yellow crayons—the sharpest in her collection—during a moment she'd left him unsupervised. So that there wouldn't be any gaps in Mabel's meticulously rainbow-ordered crayon box, he'd had to unwrap the crayons, break off the tips and butts, roll out two tubes of Claydough to fill in the gaps, rewrap the false crayons, and stuff them back in the crayon box before Mabel got back. The middles of the crayons were safely spirited away in his hoodie. He was a genius. The humans underestimated him without his powers, but he was the smartest creature in the universe.

Bill was loathe to pull out Ford's Journal 4—he'd entertained some vague fantasy of filling it with the secrets of reality and slipping it somewhere Ford could find it, make him really regret turning his back on Bill's wisdom—but it was good quality paper and it was already in Bill's possession, so he couldn't afford to pass it up.

The lucid dreaming guide recommended keeping the dream diary under his pillow. Considering he was still sleeping on the floor on a couple of stolen couch cushions that he shoved aside as convenient, not likely. If he was supposed to have easy access to it whenever he slept, he couldn't leave it in his usual hidey-hole, either. He pulled the cushion off the window seat, chewed a tiny hole in the seam on the bottom edge, and carefully plucked out the thread to open up a gap along one side where it wouldn't be seen.

He pressed the stuffing out of the way, slid in the journal and crayons, and put the cushion back in place to await his next dream.

As Bill straightened up, he glanced out the attic window—and flinched in surprise.

Just outside, by the trees, was someone he knew. The most beautiful, graceful, desirable person in all the world. Someone he half thought he'd never see again. Bill stared in shock.

And then she turned toward the shack.

Bill ducked out of the window's view. "Heck."

####

"Star girl, we've got trouble." Bill was standing grimly in the kitchen doorway. "My ex is back in Gravity Falls."

Mabel's brain short-circuited so hard that she momentarily lost the ability to see as she processed the revelation that Bill Cipher had a love life. A whole new multiverse of matchmaking possibilities had just opened up. "Your what?!"

Bill pointed upward.

Mabel bolted out of her seat to follow him upstairs.

"Anyway, I assume we're exes," Bill said. "I usually dump people when they die, I'm sure she did the same to me."

Barely listening to him, Mabel gushed, "Bill, you sly dog, you've been holding out on me! I didn't know you dated!" She took his elbow to help keep him from tripping as they headed upstairs. "What's she like? Tell me everything!" Mabel hoped she wasn't evil. She probably was, but Mabel still had her fingers crossed for some sweet alien princess with a taste for bad boys who may yet lure out Bill's tender side.

"Oh—she's a stunner." Bill used his free hand to pantomime a shape that didn't conform to any silhouette Mabel could imagine, "Curves in all the right places... Down for anything..."

Maybe it was that pink Henchmaniac. She had curves. And was also the only one Mabel remembered who looked like a girl. "You must miss her a lot."

Bill grimaced uncertainly and muttered, "I miss what she does to my body, let's leave it at that."

He steered them toward the attic window and heaved a sigh of relief. "Okay, she's still here. Don't let her catch you staring."

Mabel pressed her face to the glass, eager to see who could have won the heart of Bill Cipher, Most Villainous Triangle Ever.

Below, a gigantic veiny eyeball flopped through the air on gnarled bat wings.

Mabel glanced up at Bill skeptically. "The eye-bat?"

"Mm-hm." Bill was biting his lip and gazing at the bat with pained, shiny-eyed yearning. His face reminded reminded her of the time her parents had dressed for a fancy grown-up dinner, and the way her dad looked when her mom came out in a slinky fuchsia cocktail dress.

Well, who was Mabel to judge? Everyone is beautiful to someone. Good for them. "What's her name?"

"Iris." Bill put a hand on Mabel's shoulder. "You've gotta help me."

####

"Hey, Ford? You got a minute?"

Ford looked up as Soos hovered in the door of his study. "I suppose I do now." He swept aside his lunch—his desk was littered with the remains of formerly-undead teriyaki chicken and the cheap wooden chopsticks he'd jabbed through the meat like wooden stakes—and slid the notebook paper with Bill's fowl resurrection spell back into his journal. "What's on your mind?"

Soos stepped fully into the room. "We've got a supernatural problem I was hoping you could help with," he said. "You know those little eye-bat things that hang around the farm? Well, there's a really huge one flying around the shack, and all the tourists are out-of-towners, so they don't know the eye-bats will swoop at your face unless you pretend you're blind? So the big guy keeps attacking the customers. I had to give away all our souvenir sunglasses to let the last tour group escape to their cars."

"A giant eye-bat?" Ford frowned. "How large?"

"Uh..." Soos held his hands apart. "Like a big beach ball? Yeah. One of those novelty oversized beach balls. But not like, so comically large you can't do anything with it. You could definitely still play beach volleyball with it. But you'd have to deflate it to get it through a door."

It sounded like one of Bill's minions. "It's not turning people to stone, is it?"

"No, just swooping at people's faces and being terrifying."

####

Bill watched from the kitchen window as the eye-bat folded in her wings, like a hawk preparing to snatch up a mouse, and dove at a tourist's head. The tourist screamed and ran the other way, chucking her purse at the eye-bat. Bill shouted at the window, "You don't know what you're missing out on, lady!" He dragged his hands down his face, groaning. "Man I wish that was me."

####

Ford nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

It was a welcome distraction. With Fiddleford currently pursuing their best lead to kill Bill, Ford hadn't felt motivated to keep researching long-shot plan B options; but he got antsy without work to do. Maybe dealing with an eye-bat would make him feel useful enough to quiet his nerves. 

Soos heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I've gotta head back up now—there's a tour bus coming and I need to scare the eye-bat off with a broom so they can come in."

As Soos got on the elevator, Mabel bounded off. "Hi Soos. Grunkle Ford! I need your help. You'll never guess who's at the shack: Bill's ex-girlfriend! Whaaat!"

Ford opened his mouth. He shut his mouth. He tried again. "His ex-girlfriend."

Mabel nodded excitedly.

Ford was momentarily stunned silent as he, too, processed the revelation that Bill had a love life; although his reaction had less to do with matchmaking possibilities and more to do with trying to reconcile the eccentric, intellectual, standoffish alien that Ford knew with the concept of romance. "She doesn't happen to be an eye-bat, does she?"

Mabel's face fell. "Did he tell you about his girlfriend before me?"

Once Mabel had explained what she knew about the situation, Ford frowned. "This could be gravely dangerous. One of his 'Henchmaniacs' is a potential ally. If he catches her attention..."

"Actuallyyy," Mabel said, "he's super trying to avoid her."

Ford blinked in surprise. "What? Why?"

####

"I can't let her see me like this," Bill told Mabel, pacing across the attic floor. "I'd be a laughing stock! Look at me—stuck in a human body, powers locked away, and hideous!"

"Don't say that," Mabel said reassuringly. "You know I think you make a really beautiful human, right?"

"True, but that's like saying Caesar is delicious for a salad. It still doesn't compare to a hot fudge sundae, does it?" He pointed toward the window. "You have to hide me."

####

"So do you think you can help?" Mabel asked.

Ford reluctantly got to his feet. "I suppose there's not much choice, is there?"

"Wait—" Mabel stood in front of Ford, blocking him with her arms. "You can stay here! I just meant if you know how to make some kind of magic anti-eyeball forcefield or something! You don't have to—you know—talk to Bill..."

It was sweet of her to try to spare him. "Unfortunately, I do. I don't trust his story." Why would Bill drive away a Henchmaniac, ex or not? Maybe this "ex" was actually Bill's enemy—some sort of interdimensional bounty hunter or law enforcement officer hunting for him. Bill was too sly, too opportunistic, too manipulative to throw away a useful ally.

But then, Bill was also vain and arrogant. Once the portal was finished, how fast had he thrown Ford away?

Ford headed toward the elevator, gesturing for Mabel to follow him. "Come on. Let's find out what he's really up to."

Mabel cringed, but followed.

####

Bill's face lit up as Mabel came in from the gift shop with Ford. "Look at you, Shooting Star, you brought reinforcements!" From his position seated cross-legged on the cushionless sofa, Bill gestured grandly at the unoccupied living room chairs, like a lord inviting two guests into his parlor.

"Yeah," Mabel laughed nervously. "Reinforcements. Sure." She took the chair closer to Bill. 

Bill beamed at Ford. "Welcome back to the surface world, Stanford. If I'd thought you were coming up, I'd have made tea."

Ford remained standing. "Cut the chatter, Cipher. Why is your 'girlfriend' back on Earth attacking people? How did she get here? Is she looking for you?"

Bill's eyebrows raised in surprise at the abrupt confrontation; then he slowly leaned back in his seat, his expression cooler. "How should I know? Maybe she never left Earth."

"How? The rest of your thugs were dragged back into the Nightmare Realm when you died."

"So I've been told," Bill said dryly, glancing at Mabel like he trusted her eyewitness testimony over Ford's.

Mabel nodded. "Like they got sucked into a big invisible rainbow tornado!"

Bill spread his hands in exaggerated bafflement. "Then I don't know what to tell you. It's not like I was around to see it. Maybe she was out visiting family when you kicked out my pals."

"Of all the absurd—family? On Earth?" More likely she had been sucked out with the rest, but found her way back to Earth through—what?—a small rift they'd failed to seal that Bill was trying to cover up...? "For once in your life, why don't you give a straight answer?"

"You wouldn't know what to do with a straight answer if I did give it! You walk in looking for a fight and act like I'm the one who picked it." Bill gestured between Ford and Mabel, "You think I can't see you two trying to pull some good cop/bad cop routine?"

Defensively, Mabel said, "I'm not—!"

"I'd be happy to give you straight answers about anything you want, Stanford," Bill said, "but if you're treating this like an interrogation instead of a conversation, then I'm pleading the fifth until my lawyer gets here. And you do not want to meet my lawyer."

Bill had lost the privilege to have "conversations" years ago. But—as much as Ford hated to admit it—starting a fight was a poor way to gather information. "Fine." He forced himself to sit down. He wasn't about to be nice to Bill, but he could at least hate him civilly.

Bill made a gracious, open-handed gesture, as if to say proceed.

Now that Ford had taken a moment to turn over the idea—perhaps Bill wasn't lying about the eye-bat visiting "family." Here were two facts: there were eye-bats in Gravity Falls; and there were much larger eye-bats in the Nightmare Realm who'd been there before the dimensional portal ripped open. Ford hadn't been able to inspect Bill's variety, but... "That's another mystery I've been wondering about. What's the nature of the relationship between your eye-bats in the Nightmare Realm and ours in Gravity Falls?"

"Pfff, come on." With an air of smug intellectual superiority, Bill rolled his eye and said, "You clever little pattern-seeking humans want to find connections everywhere! Who said there's any relationship between them at all?"

"You did," Ford said.

"A few seconds ago," Mabel added.

Bill's smug look disappeared. He considered that. "Hm."

So much for getting straight answers out of Bill. He couldn't go one minute without contradicting his own lies. "Unless you're saying she was 'visiting family' because she is from Gravity Falls? Not one of your Henchmaniacs," Ford suggested. "Just some local eye-bat you mutated and magically enthralled into doing your bidding when you arrived?" Bill wouldn't like that.

And sure enough, Bill laughed harshly. "I'm flattered you think I can woo someone that fast," he said, blithely gliding past Ford's implication that mind control might have been involved, "but no. She came with me from the Nightmare Realm and we've been going out for... I don't know, a century and a half now?"

This information immediately activated the household romantic. Mabel gasped. "What! Bill that's so long! You're basically triple married."

Bill shuddered. "Yeesh, don't say that. It was a casual physical thing! We were seeing each other until we found better options, that's all. She's hot, but not my type."

"You have a type?! What's your type?"

"Don't answer that," Ford said. (Mabel pouted, but didn't argue.) "How is the same species in two places? Are the eye-bats in Gravity Falls descended from the eye-bats in the Nightmare Realm...?" But how would they have gotten in?

"Other way around," Bill corrected. "A few leaked into the Nightmare Realm from Gravity Falls. I wouldn't be so rude as to call them an invasive species, but they've taken really well to the place! I'm proud of the gals."

"But then how did the eye-bats get into the Nightmare Realm before the portal was complete? That's the whole reason you needed the portal—there was no other access."

Bill hesitated—and Ford got the sense that Bill had once again accidentally talked himself into a corner. Then there was some other passage to the Nightmare Realm, and Bill didn't want them to know about it. But what? Where else in Gravity Falls was there an opening to other dimensions?

The answer came to him before Bill had a chance to try to make up one. "The bottomless pit," Ford said. He couldn't believe he'd never made the connection before. "That's it, isn't it. The eye-bats could have fallen through. One of its exits leads to the Nightmare Realm. You said so in my journal."

There was a flash of irritation across Bill's face, and then he was all smiles. "Oh, you finally figured out that code, did you."

"Please, it was a simple substitution cipher. It wouldn't have taken me nearly so long if someone hadn't kept me sleep deprived for weeks."

Bill didn't respond to the jab—but it was clear from the way his mouth twisted that the restraint took an effort. "I'm not making any plans to jump into the bottomless pit, before you get worried." Said like somebody who had definitely considered jumping into the bottomless pit. No wonder he'd been so evasive about his eye-bats' origins. "The odds I'd actually make it back to the Nightmare Realm are way lower than the odds I'd either end up right back here or somewhere worse." 

"'The lady doth protest too much,'" Ford muttered. He'd have to find a way to seal off the pit. "Is that why the eye-bat wasn't sucked out with your other minions? It has some... ancestral, genetic link to this world—?"

"What, do you think the fabric of reality is running DNA tests to see what does and doesn't 'belong' here?" Bill scoffed. "Most universes aren't sentient and yours isn't one of the exceptions. Still, you might be on to something. Most of my guys are built on biological blueprints and laws of physics that aren't compatible with this dimension; I had to use some of my power to 'translate' between their bodies and your universe. That magic connection probably reeled them back into the Nightmare Realm. And the eye-bats were the only ones I didn't do that for."

"Really." Ford's fingers itched to pick up a pen; he wished he'd brought his journal. "If you were supporting them, why did they get sucked back through the rift when you died? Rather than just dying when your power dissipated? Was that some sort of safety measure you left in case—? No, that's not like you." In order to plan for his death, Bill needed to admit he could die. "Is the source of your power in the Nightmare Realm?"

Bill said, "Frankly, I'm taking your word for it that they survived at all. I wasn't exactly around to watch."

"You're dodging the question." Trying to get anything out of Bill was like chasing a dancing ghost while wearing lead boots. "I want an answer."

"Then ask a different question."

"Fine!" Ford had plenty of questions. If Bill wanted another one so badly— "Why did you need the interdimensional portal?"

Bill stared at Ford. "What?"

"The bottomless pit is ancient—and you clearly knew about it. If you already had an opening into Gravity Falls..."

"The pit only goes one way."

"So why didn't you build something on your end of the exit to reverse its direction? You certainly had the time to work out the science! Or—there are thousands of openings from other dimensions into the Nightmare Realm, natural and artificial alike. Why did you never use them?"

Ford had wondered for decades during his travels through the multiverse. He'd told himself he would never know, that Bill's motives were incomprehensible—ineffable like a god's, unintelligible like a madman's. But Stan had asked the same question a few days ago, and Ford hadn't been able to get it out of his head since. "If you had a trillion years to refine your plan, then why did you give me blueprints for a portal that would tear my universe apart, instead of any other design? Why here, why now? Why me?"

He expected some catty quip or a dismissive brush-off. But instead, Bill gave Ford an appraising look. A chill ran up Ford's back. Bill's face was blank now—no trace of the smirk he'd worn while tossing out contradictions and cryptic riddles—but his eyes had the same hard, heavy look he'd worn in the penthouse, talking about "liberating" his dimension. Bill asked, "Do you really want to know?"

It felt like they were back in Ford's dreams, and his fickle, wonderful muse had finally decided to stop teasing, get serious, and tell his student some precious secret. It felt like he was about to get a real answer. Ford did want to know. Of course he did.

"No."

Bill would only lie. Everything he'd ever said about the portal had been a lie.

Disappointment flickered across Bill's face.

Before an uneasy silence had a chance to fully settle over the room, Mabel shifted in her seat. Ford started; she'd gone so quiet, he'd almost forgotten she was here. "Grunkle Ford, is that everything we needed to know?" It wasn't like her to sound so timid. "We know she's not looking for Bill, she just—got stuck here last summer. Right?"

Why were they talking? "Right." The eye-bat harassing the tourists. Ford shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "And the eye-bat is from the Nightmare Realm, but it's descended from Gravity Falls' eye-bats—which means it has the same weaknesses as local eye-bats. Right?" He opened his eyes again, directing the question at Bill.

"Oh, now you're interested in what I have to say?"

"Good point; I'm not." Ford stroked his chin. "I have a recipe for an eye-bat repellant spray I learned from Old Lady Sprott, we could use that to keep it away from the shack. I wrote it down in... my first journal..." 

"Ah," Bill said. "You mean the incinerated one." He said it so coolly, like he wasn't the one who incinerated it.

"Actually," Mabel said, "after everything went back to normal, Grunkle Ford's journals got un-incinerated!"

Bill made a poor show of trying not to look surprised. "You don't say."

"Yeah, good as new! They regrew their torn pages and everything," Mabel said. "And... then we kinda chucked them into the bottomless pit."

Bill cracked up, kicking out a foot in mirth. "You what?! You idiots, don't you know you had an invaluable occult encyclopedia in your hands? The second journal alone was the most important human grimoire of the last five hundred years!"

Ford was too irritated to be flattered. What business did Bill have mocking him, thirty seconds ago Bill had thought he was the one who destroyed the journals. Ford snapped, "I didn't want to keep anything you'd tainted."

He was gratified by how fast Bill stopped laughing. "Then burn down your shack and lobotomize your hippocampus," Bill muttered. "Fine! Are we talking about the eye-bat repellant made with gnome wizz?"

Bless this insufferable, all-seeing pest; maybe he was good for one thing. "That's the one! You know the recipe?"

"That's the only ingredient I remember."

Ford mentally retracted the prior blessing. "It's the only ingredient I remember." He sighed. Maybe Old Lady Sprott had taught her son...

Bill said, "But wasn't that was back before you turned into a hermit, when you were still interviewing the human neighbors about the freaks in the woods? All those little interview notebooks—"

"Yes! That's right, I'm sure I kept them somewhere—"

"Filing cabinet under your globe. Second drawer."

Ford shot Bill a dark look.

"You're welcome," Bill said.

The insufferable all-seeing pest didn't need any blessings, he was smug enough already. Ford got to his feet. "Then as soon as I find the recipe, we can chase this eye-bat off and put this whole mess behind us."

"Finally," Bill sighed. "Always a pleasure to work on a project with you, Sixer."

Ford glared at him again; but as he turned to go, his gaze fell on Mabel. Sitting in her chair with her hands under her thighs, with that big-eyed small-mouthed look children got when the adults were talking about something they had no part in but they were paying keen attention to it anyway. Ford winced at himself. "Mabel. I'm sorry that got... a bit heated."

She gave him a small smile. "It's fine—"

"And whose fault was that?" Bill cut in. "I was being perfectly helpful."

Ford swallowed back the urge to retort. 

Mabel didn't. She blew a raspberry at Bill. "When you weren't lying to us?"

"When did I lie! Tell me one lie I told—"

Ford wasn't getting dragged into this. "I think you can handle him from here," he muttered to Mabel. "I've got work to do." He escaped back to the gift shop; but the tension in his shoulders didn't start to loosen until he was back in his study.

####

The door swung shut behind Ford; and Mabel waited a few more seconds before she said, "Sorry about that." She sighed. "I thought Grunkle Ford could think of some way to help. I didn't think he'd actually come and talk about it."

"Not your fault." Bill smiled ruefully. "He was probably looking for an excuse for another confrontation. And to think, for a moment I was excited when my old friend showed up." He sighed deeply. Oh, how poorly he was mistreated—

"What?" Mabel laughed. "What are you talking about? You're not friends—"

"Hey! Shush-shush-shush!" Bill blocked Mabel's words with a hand. "Shooting Star, I'm about to tell you something that'll put you ahead of the competition for the rest of your life. Once you've figured out lucid dreaming, go back to the library—"

"Are you about to give me more homework?"

"I'm giving you more homework. Go look up the law of attraction. Master that, change your life. If you want something to happen, the first step to making it happen is saying it's happened. Say it until you believe it; believe it until it's true. So I don't want to hear any of your negativity, buster."

A thoughtful look crossed Mabel's face as she considered that. She was such an attentive listener once you figured out what caught her attention. Best student Bill had had in eons. She'd go far. "So..." She lowered her voice. "That means you really do want to be friends with Grunkle Ford!"

"That's not what I said. I said we are friends." Bill was sure she'd pick it up. It was an easy game and she was a quick study. "Even if he clearly doesn't know it. Sixer's such a grump these days." He sighed, again. Woe was him—

"He's not that grumpy! Only around you," Mabel said.

"And how is that fair? After everything I did for him—"

"You mean everything you did to him?"

Bill shot her an exasperated look. Mabel's impish grin stretched wider. Bill said, "Whose side are you on?"

"I'm on the side of truth and tough love!"

"Oh, truth. Truth's a fickle god. Does your version of the 'truth' include all my contributions to his work that he never brings up—"

"Nope, I don't care about what you're saying!" Mabel bounded over from her chair to join Bill on the couch. "We're done talking about your dumb grudge and pretending you're not evil."

"'Pretending'—!"

"There's only one thing I'm interested in!" Mabel leaned into Bill's face. "I wanna know everything about your love life."

"Wh—?" Bill's train of thought veered off track as the conversation swung from Ford back over toward Iris. "I'm flattered by the attention, but don't you think 'everything' is a little personal?"

"Nope!" Mabel got comfortable in her seat. "So have you ever gotten married?"

This was what Bill got for being so open and forthcoming with the personal details while Ford was in the room. He'd wanted to look like he was an open book, and what happened? Now Mabel thought he was an open book. Funny how that worked out. "You don't even know if marriage is a thing where I'm from."

"Is it?"

"Next question."

"Do you want to get married?"

"Next question that isn't about marriage."

"Who do you consider the top ten most attractive people or creatures in Gravity Falls."

It was beginning to dawn on Bill that he was in danger.

####

Soos passed from the gift shop through the living room. (Mabel had put on the Color Critters Valentine's special—Prisma the Rainbow Fairy and Glory Unicorn were explaining to Misty Dolphin why it was important to give a Valentine to all your friends, even the ones you weren't as close to, because it might hurt their feelings to be left out and including everyone might make you a new friend.) Bill was sitting upside down, legs hooked over the back of the sofa and head bright red, as he said, "No, I just don't see relationships as eternal. Romance is a short term commitment. Like a fashion trend, or, or—"

"Like gum?"

Bill snapped his fingers. "Yes! Exactly like gum—"

"Hey dudes." Soos awkwardly squeezed around behind the TV to avoid blocking the screen. He looked at Bill's face and said, "Hey, all the blood's rushing to your head. Be careful, Abuelita says if you do that too long your head could pop."

"She's right," Bill said.

Mabel said, "He's making his face red on purpose so I can't tell when he's blushing."

"Not true! You little tattler!"

As he headed upstairs, Soos heard Mabel say, "So when a romance starts to lose its flavor, you just—" and Bill cut in, "You spit it on the sidewalk, grind it under your heel, and float away without looking back, never thinking about it again..."

A few minutes later, after changing out of his Mr. Mystery suit into a more comfortable question mark t-shirt, Soos headed back downstairs. Bill was still talking, "... and all you get out of it is sickly sweet spit, you're just—swallowing all this sweet spit until it makes your mouth sour and it's dripping out around your eye, and you're hungrier than if you'd never eaten at all, and all your friends say 'oh Bill, you're always griping about your gum, why don't you settle down to eat a proper meal,' and you say 'how about you mind your own business, Kryptos, I don't lecture you about your diet,' and then your other friends accuse you of choosing inedible snacks so you don't have to commit to swallowing them, because they don't get that you're a flawless energy being, you don't need 'nutrition' or 'sustenance,' this is just a hobby to you—and finally you just, you get sick of the taste of gum altogether, you never want to chew gum again as long as you live, it's always so needy and your jaw hurts, and everyone thinks it's your fault if you can't focus on chewing the stupid thing all day every day, like maybe you have a life of your own, did anyone consider that? And at this point you're so disgusted by the very idea of gum that you burn down a gum factory so you don't have to look at their stupid ads! And then an eon later you find yourself craving a stick of gum, so you find a different brand and cram a new one in."

Mabel, who'd been listening to Bill's monologue in wide-eyed stunned silence, finally smiled in relief as he landed on a familiar sentiment. She pumped her fist in the air. "Yeah! Cram a new one in!"

"You get me, kid."

Probably none of Soos's business, but he thought Bill needed to work on his relationship with gum.

He took the elevator down to Ford's study. "Sup, dawg."

"Hm?" Ford was sitting on the floor in front of an open filing cabinet, completely surrounded by skinny reporter's notebooks like the kind Abuelita used for shopping lists, intensely focused on flipping through one. "Soos. Yes?"

"How's the eye-bat problem going?"

"I'm working on it," Ford sighed. "Somewhere I have a recipe to repel eye-bats, but it's been thirty years since I've seen those notes, so..." He shrugged helplessly. "But I'll find it before I go to sleep and we'll deal with the eye-bat tomorrow."

"That'd be great. Thanks, Mr. Pines."

"In return, can I ask you to take care of something?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Could you find a way to block access to the bottomless pit? If Bill gets outside the shack, he could use it to escape to his own dimension."

"Yeah, no problem. I've got the perfect thing for that," Soos said. "Hey, don't stay up all night, okay? I kinda think the eye-bat's attracted to bloodshot eyes."

"That's not the worst thing she's attracted to," Ford muttered. "Thank you, Soos. I won't be too late."

That was, of course, a lie.

####

(Took a week longer than planned, but it was worth it to get this hammered out properly! As always, I DEEPLY appreciate any thoughts, comments, and feedback y'all have—hearing from you guys is what saves me from feeling like I'm just shouting thousands of words into the void. Thanks for reading!)

[obsessioncest]

Stella Pines

(picrew link: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1469769)

my dearest darling girlie stella! now im gonna tell you all about her

she ran away from home when she was like. 4. there was a housefire it was a whole ordeal all that matters is she became feral at a Very Young Age

honestly not sure where she's from originally but i like to imagine its far as fuck from oregon bc that is so funny. florida girl travels across the entire continental united states in 5 years starting at age 4. obviously. also shes got florida vibes

when she was 6 ish she was in the Deep Woods and found a small forgotten graveyard that had One Singular Ghost. this One Singular Ghost happens to have been a feral child as well who went on to become an assassin in her adulthood. the One Singular Ghost (whos name is val thank you very much) sees herself in this child so she decides to PUT herself in this child. val kinda imbues her with her Ghost Essence which 1. fucks with her morality (assassin) 2. gives her a few skills that you would NOT expect a feral kid to know (assassin) and 3. makes her even more feral than she already was (feral Ghost Essence layered on top of an already feral child. feral squared. supernatural levels of feral.). val then fucks off into the Great Beyond since making a Ghost Curse is basically all she wanted to do and so now her unfinished business is done

this Ghost Curse also makes her. visibly not quite human. most people assume she's just albino and she lets them believe that but her hair is WHITE white. bone white almost. and she's fairly sure that albino humans have BLUE eyes, not red

with this newly acquired Ghost Curse our favorite Currently Nameless Feral Child is able to fuck around and find out all the way across the country much easier than she had been, and when she's 9, she finds herself in Gravity Falls.

she lives with the gnomes for a hot minute. they vibe. honestly might have stayed there if it wasn't for stan

stan! stan finds her in the woods one day when he's out doing stuff and he's like oh. That Is A Whole Child. well i can't just leave her here after several weeks of effort he manages to lure her into the mystery shack with promises of beef jerky. the plan WAS cps but its like the cat distribution system. once the creature is Within Your Home, they're yours now and you've just got to deal

finally he accepts that he has a daughter now and so he tries to figure out what her name is. he gives up on that pretty quick and just starts reading names from a baby name book until he finds one she won't bite him for

That Name Is Stella

after that he calls in a quick favor and is able to get fake documents officially saying that stella is His Biologically and her mother is just from vegas and she died don't look too much into it Just File The Paperwork Don't Make This Difficult

that gets worked out quickly. Gravity Falls doesn't like to ask questions.

stan TRIES to keep the portal stuff a secret but stella has an Assassin Ghost Curse and does not understand the concept of boundaries. after around 2 years she has ALL the details and keeps TRYING to help but stan keeps RUDELY keeping her out of the basement. finally shes like okay fine. see if i care. im going to help you whether you like it or not its just a matter of how hard you make it

she isnt very successful

eventually she becomes friends with wendy even though stella is 4 years older bc Gravity Falls is severely lacking in people her age

she's 19 when dipper and mabel arrive for the summer and does a lot of work in the gift shop or she's just kinda fucked off into the woods doing shit

when she ISNT working or fucked off doing shit she tends to hang with the twins and they both are able to tell that Something Isn't Right. at this point Gravity Falls is just used to it but dipper is concerned and figuring out her deal is definitely on his List Of Things To Do This Summer. mabel wants stella to teach her her ways

when ford finally comes out of the portal stellas initially excited because Thats Her Uncle/Dad's Crush! but then ford is an asshole and so stellas like oh okay fuck that then. Guard Dog Mode Activate.

she does lay off of ford after weirdmaggedon though and by the time ford and stan work out their Various Tensions she's fully onboard the Stancest Train

as soon as they get together she switches from calling him uncle ford to calling him pops. hes not the stepdad hes the dad that stepped up

fun facts!

she keeps in contact with the gnomes. they have bingo nights every other tuesday. This Is A Very Important Fact.

she has literally never told anybody what her life was like before stan. people dont ask too often because they all THINK she just lived in vegas with her mom but when people who know better than to believe that ask, she gives a different answer every. single. time. it's been 10 years so thats kinds of impressive tbh

dipper has made it his life mission to Figure Out Her Shit. it was kind of like "what the fuck" to "oh okay i'm starting to learn more, surely i will eventually find an answer here" to "what the fuck"

fords is the same way. dipper🤝ford = What The Fuck Is Happening Here Why Is Everybody Acting Like This Is Normal

EXCLUSIVELY dresses in red black and white. will wear literally nothing else.

has never once cut her hair and doesn't plan to ever start

If I Can't Have My Own Claws And Fangs Then I Shall Make Myself Pokey In Other Ways

that flower was a gift from mabel :)

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

🔥 Bill Cipher and Sock Opera

Bill Cipher is a fun enough and interesting enough villain in his first foray in Dreamscapers. His motivations being little more than “I have a job to do and have very little care in regards to who’s side I’m on” is really cool, and he’s pretty funny.

But when he shows up again in Sock Opera he’s

A.) feeling very out of place like why is here how did he get here

B.) his plan is stupid and doesn’t make sense (he literally needs the portal up and running to start his master plan why would he burn the book?)

C.) this starts the trend of him going from interesting and feeling important to feeling like a bog standard trickster villain who’s got a bug up his ass about Dipper for no reason. If we’re bringing back a foe that I’m supposed to think is the most important guy, I need him to not show up in a filler episode (like an actual filler episode not a character development episode that fandom hates because there’s not enough lore).

Sock Opera brings Bill in and makes him worse, but also makes Mabel irredeemable. Like, the show in general has always had a problem writing women but Mabel’s inability to grow and change like Dipper is a black mark on the shows record, and this is easily the worst offense. There’s no coming back from Mabel actively hesitating to save her brothers life because “it might ruin her chances with stock crush of the week”, let alone after a whole episode of lying to him, ignoring him, treating him like shit, and laughing at him because “he looks funny” as he’s begging her to save his body from a threat they both seem fucking dire. Her apology is barely an apology.

I also think for an episode that’s

A. About siblings fighting over scheming vs. cracking gravity falls mysteries

And

B. Prominently features Dipper being possessed ending with a fist fight with Mabel

Stan sure as fuck only gets a single line and encourages them fighting despite this being the perfect opportunity for a heart to heart with Stan and Dipper bringing back their broken promises to each other from Scary-oke and further setting up Ford and Stan’s complicated relationship and Stans regrets regarding it (like legit they could’ve had a Last Crash of the Sunchaser esque ending with Stan seeing too much of Ford in Dipper and being scared that he isn’t going to be able to protect him). But no. Because we were so desperate to keep that secret despite everyone already figuring it out that we couldn’t do any character set up if it hinted too strongly at the episode.

The episode is bog standard filler with a fan favorite brought in to artificially generate buzz while character assassinating one main and underutilizing another.

If anyone knows Camp Camp it’s basically The Forest. A fanbait episode with no substance that doesn’t know it’s own characters but got fans to cream themselves because there were fanart and gif making opportunities.

[puppyluver256]

[Image Description: A woman with blue skin, maroon eyes, and multicolored hair (mostly purple with one strip of turquoise and one strip of pink) in a ponytail with two silver spoon-shaped hair clips. She is wearing a long pink button-up shirt under a green t-shirt with lightly frilled sleeves, blue capri-length pants, turquoise socks, and maroon loafer shoes. She has a tan bag slung over her shoulder with both the Psychonauts emblem (a brain surrounded by lines of black and blue) and the pansexual flag (three stripes of magenta, yellow, and blue) attached to the strap. She is holding one hand up, above which is a floating spoon that is being bent by psychic ability, and giving a peace sign with her other hand. The background is a swirling gradient of blue and black. End ID.]

-----

Got inspired to make a Psychonauts OC a while back after re-watching a video about our real-world "psychics" (ie. utter frauds) inspired an idea of complete and total irony. Let me introduce you to Yuri Randi!

Yuri's a roaming recruiter for the Psychonauts, often out scouting for promising candidates to the Psychonauts proper, the intern program, and even finding kids who would benefit from some time at the Whispering Rock summer camp. That's not getting into her...unofficial work. You see, both her personal experience with her own abilities and her years of work scouting for real psychics has led to her getting really good at noticing when people try to fake it, not to mention one of her dads is a non-psychic and former stage magician so he knows those kinds of tricks as well. So she has developed a kind of hobby of sorts where she goes to these fake psychic shows and...basically just makes them look like fools for trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the real damn thing. And yes, you may have already guessed by her name, but her concept was inspired by the feud between so-called psychic fraudster Uri Gellar and James "The Amazing" Randi >:3c Yeah, I'm a little bitter about Gellar and his litigious nonsense putting Kadabra into legal limbo, how could you tell??

A few more fun facts about Yuri while I'm still on this train of thought: - While I think it would be a common enough thing for most psychics to start with spoon-bending (after all, didn't Ford refer to the campers as "spoon-benders" once? and I saw that reveal in Rhombus of Ruin too), Yuri was so proud of her first that she ended up keeping it decades after and uses it as a hairclip. Her specialty is manipulating metal, though of course she's got quite the handy range of varied abilities figured out, that's just the one she's most fond of personally. - She has two dads, one of whom is her biological dad with the help of a mutual friend acting as a surrogate, who she affectionately calls "auntie" even though the nature of her relationship with her dads has never been kept secret from her. Her "auntie" and bio dad are the psychic ones, and her other dad has always been very supportive of her abilities, especially when she's using them to dunk on the frauds. - She has crushed on nearly every adult at the Motherlobe for at least a few days each. The longest of these crushes have been a tie between her feelings for Milla and Sasha, alternating between the two roughly at the same time. - Her overall fashion sense and tendency to carry her bag of Very Important Things (mostly snacks) with her even throughout the Motherlobe has led to her being mistaken for an intern more than a few times, even by applying interns that weren't brought in by her. The confusion doesn't last long once she reveals she's in her early 30s.

💖🐶 Check out my pinned post for ways to support my artwork, among other things! 🐶💖

~If you like, please reblog to show your friends! Likes are appreciated, but reblogs let more people see my content! If you have something to say, feel free to give feedback in tags/comments/replies as well!~

Psychonauts and related concepts © DoubleFine Yuri Randi and artwork © PuppyLuver Studios

[allyce-11]

Okay another Hogwarts AU that nobody ask for but i did anyway :D 

Let me introduce the mystery trio! and the reason for the headache of many teachers! 

So I love Gravity Falls, and I saw people before making their own AU with them in Hogwarts, so I just wanted to do my own and have a bit of fun! Here are some of the important parts I thought about the story in general.

(clarification: Bill is OOC for obvious reasons because he is a human here, not a chaotic psychopathic demon… He is a chaotic hyperactive troublemaker, with pretty grey morals but not, you know evil.

And I'm NOT writing a fanfic about this, why? because i can't write :D but if any of you feel like doing one because i inspire you with this bunch of nonsense, i will love to read it so please send me a link.)

Okay this is a long post so put yourself comfortable! 

- The twins are muggleborn but the Stans are wizards so when their parents discover that they are magical they send them to live in Gravity Falls so they can adapt a bit better.

- Gravity Falls is mostly a magical town but still has some muggles. (the people there think is a tourist town and basically explain any weird thing that happen there with the locals searching new ways to attract tourist with their “magic and mystery town act”)

- The twins go to live there at the age of 9, when they start to show signs of accidental magic, two years before starting Hogwards.

- Bill is an orphan. There is an orphanage just outside Gravity Falls.  A catholic orphanage at that, and let's say that when Bill started to make weird things happen around him… well, they didn't like it, they thought he was possessed. He gets punished, the staff and the kids ignore or fear him calling him a “demon”, all in all not really healthy for a small kid…   He started to leave the orphanage and run to the forest, the forest has weird things like him so he likes it. 

- Then one day he and Dipper run into each other (because of fucking course Dipper go to the forests even if its dangerous and he is a little kid, because who is gonna stop him? his responsable guardians?) and who would have seen this coming? They became fast friends (two lonely kids, wizards, that love the forest and are a bit of nerds? they got no problem getting along) Dipper eventually brought Mabel too and the mystery trio was born. 

- The three of them became really close at the point that Bill was more in the Mystery Shack that in the orphanage (though he has to go back regularly still, because you know, he is still they problem and all) 

- Eventually the Stans managed to adopt him so he could live with the twins (this happened at the end of three year.) The guy was there all the time anyways and Stan got a soft spot for the little bastard. The orphanage was just too happy to get rid of him. 

- Stan gets expelled in his fifth year. He runs the Mystery Shack as a tourist trap for muggles and sells some not so legal things for wizards.

 - Fords gots 12 NEWT and becomes an inventor, he works for the ministry and does all his experiments in his lab in the shack. 

 - The twins and Bill knew that they probably wouldn't end in the same house but promised to keep being just as close. 

- Dipper got into Ravenclaw, he does good in the majority of his classes but his best subjects are Transfiguration, Potions, Arithmancy, and Care for the magical creatures. (He chose Ancient Runes, Arithmancy and Care for magical creatures.)

- Mabel got into Hufflepuff, her best subjects are Charms, Herbology and Care for magical creatures. (she chose Care for magical creatures and Divination) her worst subjects are Potions. 

- Bill got into Slytherin and his best subjects are Defence against the dark arts, Astronomy, Arithmancy and Care for magical creatures. (He chose Ancient Runes, Arithmancy and Care for magical creatures.)

-The three of them became animagi in fifth year (in secret) Obviously Dipper make sure they do everything right and get the other two to be serious because “guys if we fuck this up in any point we can end up in some sort of half transfigureted animal so you are taking this seriously or i swear i gonna drown you in the black lake!” [Dipper is a dog (Border Collie)] [Mabel is a rabbit (lop)] [Bill is a wolf]

- The Mystery trio go to the forbidden forests rather frequently (they got caught half the time and get in trouble but they keep doing it)

- Mabel keeps putting patches and glitter in her robes even when the teachers take them away the next day the girl appears with more, it reaches a point where they just give up. 

- Bill and Mabel play quidditch, Bill is a beater, and Mabel a chaser. They can be really competitive, Dipper has no interest in quidditch and does not like flying, he only goes to support his friend and sister. 

- I see Bill and Dipper getting together in their, idk fifth year maybe? but you can also see it like a platonic close friendship.

 Mcgonagall: Why is it when something happens, it is always you three?

Dipper: Believe me, professor, i've been asking myself the same question for years  

(something explode somewhere)

Snape: Mr Pines! Where is Mr Cipher? 

Dipper: I don't know! why would i?!

Snape: …

Dipper:..

Snape:...

Dipper: three floor, boys bathroom.

Okay i gonna stop it here because this is long enough, if you read all of this, you have a place in my heart wow thank you. 

PS: (For anyone curious:

Ford: Ravenclaw

Stan:Slytherin

Wendy: Gryffindor 

Pacifica: Slytherin

Grenda: Gryffindor

Candy: Ravenclaw

Soos:Hufflepuff

Gideon: Slytherin 

Robbie: Slytherin )

[agentnico]

Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) Review

This being a third entry in a Jurassic trilogy, I half expected another raptor to come into Alan Grant’s dreams and say his name methodically. That didn’t happen though. Still, Dominion does keep up the trend with the diminishing quality cycle of the Jurassic films.

Plot: Four years after the destruction of Isla Nublar, dinosaurs now live and hunt alongside humans all over the world. This fragile balance will reshape the future and determine, once and for all, whether human beings are to remain the apex predators on a planet they now share with history's most fearsome creatures in a new Era.

Jurassic World was a surprising and successful return of the Jurassic Park franchise, bringing us a modern day take on the dinosaur formula whilst still in-keeping a nostalgic homage to the original trilogy. Then Fallen Kingdom happened that caused us all to scratch our heads in wonderment as to where the hell they were taking this narrative. Like what’s the deal with the clone girl? Who came up with that poppy-cock??! Anyway, now Dominion arrives, bringing us great spectacle, the return of the cast from the old original films, lots of excitement and a promise to bring us a finale to this era of the franchise. So of course this must be an improvement on.....ah no, scrap that, it’s once again about the clone girl. They’re sticking with that plot-line. They’re taking it full speed ahead. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no. Look, as much as the clone girl narrative is silly and ridiculous, I would have been okay for there to have been a science fiction film with that story-line. That would have been alright. But why bring that narrative into a Jurassic movie? We watch these movies for the dinosaurs, not cloned humans! And heck, after the cliff-hanger of Fallen Kingdom where dinosaurs were let out to free roam the world, this movie had one job. Dinosaurs in the human world. What we get instead is yet another generic plot about yet another mad scientist experimenting on dinos in his super secretive isolated compound. How. Very. Original. 

Speaking of the mad CEO scientist though, this guy...... what a performance! Every line he said was so lifeless and monotone, and when he spoke, all the other actors looked at him as if he were improvising and going off script, but everyone was too afraid of him to say anything so just went along with it. To be fair, I’d be afraid too. A man with such zero personality? What’s he thinking? What’s he about to do?? I don’t know!! The guy is unpredictable and may be dangerous. Or maybe not. I have no clue! Not worth the risk though. Campbell Scott, you truly have given us a performance! However in terms of the other cast members, I must say since the last movie all of them seem to have lost any kind of personality. Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt, especially the latter, are just straight faced action stars now and that’s it. Pratt used to have a little charm and charisma to him, even in the first Jurassic World movie, but now he just stands there like “Look at how cool I am! I am a cool bloke! Who’s cool?? That’s right, I am!” The little girl that plays the clone, goodness gracious me. Every time she spoke I felt like she was in a soap opera like Coronation Street or EastEnders. So over dramatic!! As for the actors from the original films, Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern make for a welcome return, even though the script evidently doesn’t know what to do with them. Sam Neill seems to be doing his impression of a rugged Indiana Jones, hat and all, which kind of now makes me want to see a film where Neill and Harrison Ford play brothers on an adventure quest.

Jurassic World: Dominion suffers most in its script. The dialogue writing is abysmal, and most of the plot points only exist to drive the characters from one action sequence to the next. There is also way to much story, all in different locations, and is overly convoluted for no reason. Basically what I’m saying is, this little small $185 million budget Hollywood motion picture is quite the mess. There’s good visual effects though. And the dino-dino’s look cool. That’s about it though. This is indeed the Jurassic Park III to this new Jurassic World trilogy. Love that mad CEO scientist fella though. What a lad!!

Overall score: 3/10

[polymarinelove]

okay y’all listen up:

if you came to freeform’s siren for the ot3 or if you just loved the ot3 and are Not Okay™ about the current turn of events with the show, I have a show that will be a balm for your battered soul:

leverage

here are some of the perks:

ragtag team of “ex” thieves using their skills to take down the rich and powerful (white men)

epitome of the found family trope (this show basically CREATED the trope, I’m legitimately serious, deadass I believe they were the ones that truly created it) (edit: obviously I’m exaggerating but you catch my drift)

C A N O N polyamorous relationship made concretely canon by the last episode (although there are themes of it throughout the entire series)

also lowkey highkey the writer has been writing fanfiction for the ot3 on ao3 for the past decade but won’t say what his handle is. and no, I’m not even joking:

“villian” of the week storyline that never gets stale

after every con they make sure to dramatically gloat in the background, just in sight of their corrupt mark(s)

there is never a boring episode. no dips in content quality.

the writers didn’t believe in cliffhangers for season finales. they believed if you had to rely on shock factor or cliffhangers to keep the audience you weren’t doing it right

the Smart™ character is Alec Hardison, a black foster kid turned greatest hacker in the world. he loves and respect his nana above all else. (his first major crime was making the bank of iceland pay for his nana’s medical bills). he is PROUD geek (“age of the geek, baby”) and is can be emotional and there is nothing wrong with that (no toxic themes of black man hyper masculinity here, people). he is allowed and is unapologetically himself and on MANY occasions described (by his ot3 partners as well as the rest of the team) as the smartest man they’ve ever known. he is canonically romantically involved with parker for the last two seasons but he is also coded to be in a budding relationship with eliot (no toxic heteronormativity here either)

parker, canonically the greatest thief in the world, has many characteristics of being neurodivergent (possibly autistic) but is N E V E R made fun of or treated differently by her team because of this. she has trouble with emotions and connecting with others and was originally set up as the crazy, quirky girl character but the show was quick to set her up as SO MUCH MORE than that. her team helps her feel again after a rough, childhood and she learns to grift like a pro. shes baby and I’d die for her. she’s extremely smart and is built up to be the next mastermind of the team. her two love interests accept her for who she is and love everything about her. she is also bisexual (DONT @ ME I WILL TAKE THIS TO THE GRAVE THERE WERE TOO MANY HINTS AT IT)

eliot spencer, the hitter. basically is the brawn of the group that takes the hits for his team and fights if there is trouble or if they can’t just get in and out stealthily. started off as an 18 year old soldier with an idealized view of the world, slowly got involved with dubious military involvement and eventually turned into a hit man for hire. made many questionable choices but he eventually got out of that life. he HATES guns and when in fights, always takes his opponent’s gun away, dismantles the clip and throws it off to the side. despite all of this, he is N E V E R ONCE the toxic white manly man with a tragic past trope. never. yeah, he’s made major mistakes. yes, he has a tragic past. but that doesn’t define him. he attones for his past and tries to be better but it’s not a major plot point to overwhelm the viewer with manpain. he sometimes sleeps with other people but always cares about his lovers and pays attention to them (also lowkey sometimes the gender isn’t mentioned about past lovers so 👀👀👀 it’s Noted™). he is sure of himself and has the emotional stability that we wish bucky barnes would have. he teaches the women in his life how to fight and protect themselves. he loves cooking and uses his passion for it to teach parker how to feel (because cooking made him feel again after his terrible past). he’s so IN LOVE with parker and hardison- those heart eyes can be seen from the fucking MOON

sophie deveraux. grifter. english accent. EX art thief (“why does no one take that seriously!!!). wants to be an actress but cannot act for her LIFE unless she’s breaking the law. the mom/aunt of the group. she’s sexy, not just for her age- she’s sexy, period. she talks parker through grifting situations and teaches her how to interact with other people. I’d trust her with my secrets, but not with any valuables.

nate ford. the mastermind. an ex insurance agent. his son died after his company wouldn’t pay for his treatments. became a drunk, but the team gave him a reason to live again. his alcoholism could create problems for him, but it’s not glossed over at all in the show and is constantly addressed. he could be a dick and they didn’t excuse that. he and sophie have a relationship that takes three seasons to finally become something, and in the end after a lot of dancing around it becomes a healthy, loving relationship. he teaches parker to be the next mastermind, but doesn’t DREAM of leaving until he’s sure his kids parker, hardison and eliot will be good on their own. he could have easily been the broken white man trope but wasn’t. also, his “let’s go steal a _____” sctick never gets old- the bigger the thing they steal the better it gets, I promise.

literally, this is the best show of all time. it has it all: taking down rich white men, the found family of your DREAMS, a canon ot3

message my sideblog @leverage-ot3 for any questions or comments. you won’t regret watching this show, I promise.

(I’m tagging some other fandoms as well that I think might enjoy this show)

IMPORTANT EDIT:

the show aired from 2008-2012 (five seasons), but the show runners have reached a critical rage point about corporations today and have RENEWED IT for a sixth season (and possibly more)!!!

[awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands]

School sucks but you don’t( Slaxl Highschool AU)

A/N: There’s chapter 2 ! The next one will be the last one. Also a big thanks to @duffshairdye​ who edited this for me (ya know, ‘cause English is not my first language)

Part 1

The next day Axl didn’t come to school.

Slash noticed it during math, the only class they shared. He was worried something could have happened to him, but also hurt because he didn’t understand his behavior; Axl seemed to be happy with him but then he suddenly left. What if he was trying to avoid him?

“What’s on your mind, lovebird?” Duff said, and Slash jumped. He had just realized that he’d been staring his locker for 5 minutes.

Saul told him everything that happened the day before. His best friend was listening with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Man, I’m sorry, but I told you that Axl is a heartbreaker!” The blond replied firmly.

“Oh c’mon, you’re my best friend! You should support me!”

“You’re my best friend and I hate seeing you suffer because of him. Next time you two see each other, be cold and distant. If he really wants you, he has to show you! Now, I have to go, but see you later dude.” The taller boy said, sympathetically, as the bell rang.

When Slash entered the classroom, something weird happened: a black-haired boy started walking towards him. Slash recognized him as Izzy Stradlin, Axl Rose’s best friend. Now, Izzy’s never talked to many people, let alone Slash, but still he sat next to him, and in his most serious tone, he said:

“Don’t mess with Axl.”

“Sorry man, what?”

“I know that you’re helping him with his homework. Don’t expect anything in exchange and don’t hurt him.” The pale boy said, without any hesitation.

Slash was utterly confused by Izzy’s words, but before he could reply, Izzy was already gone. Who was he? His father? Why the hell was he basically threatening him?

When the last bell finally rang, Slash bolted out of the classroom and hoped tomorrow wouldn’t be as weird.

---

Axl showed up at Slash’s house on Thursday afternoon, just like he said he was going to. He had a busted lip and a black eye, and he seemed a lot less cocky than usual.

“What happened to you?” Slash asked, worried.

“I fell off my skateboard and hit the concrete. Let’s go study?” The redhead simply replied, and Slash didn’t push him any further. Well, the concrete must have pretty strong fists to cause that!

This time, Axl was way more distracted, but he managed to somehow understand some pretty complex stuff (even if it took double the time). Slash tried to be as indifferent as possible, like Duff told him to, but it was really hard when Axl looked like a puppy in danger.

They were laying on the bed, several books scattered on the floor as they were trying to answer the questions.

“You said that you weren’t very good at this, but you lied!” Axl said, looking the other boy firmly in the eyes.

“Maybe you’re the smart one and youwere lying!” Slash replied with a hint of a smile.

“Damn, Slasher, you’re just as soft as your hair. I can’t believe you didn’t have anyone to go to prom with.”

Slash felt his cheeks heating up a bit, while Axl only smirked. He didn’t want to fall that easy so he decided to just continuing reading.

After two hours of studying, the redhead interrupted him again.

“Dude, sorry for asking you this, but can we be done for today? I feel like my head is going to explode!” Axl said dramatically, and Slash simply nodded.

“I’ll go downstairs and grab us some beers!” Saul said, but Axl stopped him.

“I have a joint, we can spilt it if you want!”

Slash was a bit unsure at first, but then his wild instincts took on and he happily agreed.

Fifteen minutes later and they were both high. Slash had his head on Axl’s shoulder while the other boy was petting his hair. The younger boy started to rub some circles on the older one’s leg, as he felt sleep taking over him. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them were embarrassed by their display of affection.

“Is this annoying?” Axl asked, referring to the hair touching.

“No, I love it, please keep doing it sweetie!” Slash almost wanted to punch himself for the stupid nickname, but he was too tired and his eyelids started to slowly close.

“Dream On” By Aerosmith was playing in the background, and Axl was softly singing along, almost like a lullaby. The redhead’s wonderful voice and the weed’s effects made Slash completely fall asleep in a couple of minutes.

“You’re too good, Slash. I can’t ruin you!” Axl said as he got up, trying not to wake Slash. He took what was left of the joint, then he shut the front door.

The next day at school, Slash was confused even more than before. He didn’t understand why he woke up to an empty bed: it was too early for Axl to go back home, but he still decided to leave. He seemed so sweet and careful while petting his hair, but then he disappeared.

This shit was getting old and Slash was tired of it!

Since he wasn’t ready to deal with teachers, or people in general, he decided to hide into the infamous broken bathroom until he could calm himself down.

Just as he was about to open the door, he suddenly stopped in his tracks: it was already half open and he could see Axl Rose kissing a girl who looked like Lita Ford, a blonde badass who shared biology class with him.

Slash had no idea how to feel, his head too confused and his heart too hurt to understand anything. He knew that Axl and him were not together, that it was stupid to act like this because they weren’t boyfriends, but it still hurt; it hurt to know that Axl never meant his beautiful smiles or his all flirting. Maybe Duff was right. Maybe it was just a game for the redhead, maybe he just used Slash for his help and he regretted proposing to go to prom with him.

The last thing the curly-haired boy wanted to do was to listen to a teacher, so he decided to ditch school all together. However, as he was grabbing the door’s handle, he felt somebody pulling him.

“Hey man, can I ask you something?”Axl said, a bit hesitant.

Of course it would be Axl! Slash just wanted to scream at him, say a big “fuck you” and walk out of the door; but there was something weird about the other boy: he looked absolutely terrified. Now everyone who knew Axl Rose would also know that he’s the one scaring people, not the other way around.

“Sure. What’s up, man?” Slash said, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

“C-can I crash at your place later?”

Saul was a bit taken aback by the redhead’s question, but how he was behaving told him that he couldn’t refuse. But he promised to himself to treat him as cold and as neutral as possible, maybe even confront him about it. Yes, Slash, totally. Do you wanna look like a crazy boyfriend?

“Yeah, sure. Now, I have to go, but you know how to get to my house. It’ll just be me and you, so don’t worry about ringing the bell.”

“Oh, well, then we could make plenty of noise!” The redhead replied, and Saul almost choked on thin air.

This time Slash was more than just nervous; he was pretty irritated. Part of him felt like Axl was taking advantage of his help, but at the same time he didn’t ask to come to study this time, just to crash at his place. It was like Axl trusted him, for some unknown reason.

When he opened the door, he tried to be as neutral as possible. Axl seemed to not notice it, too tired to actually do anything.

“Man, I hate asking you this, but c-can I take a nap?” He said, with an embarrassed voice and Slash was even more confused than he already was.

The curly-haired boy really wanted to be mean, to tell Axl to do whatever he wanted, to just give him an annoyed look, but there was something about Axl that was stopping him: Axl looked so vulnerable.

“Yes, sure dude, take my bed. I’ll just stay here in case you need me.”

The redhead gave him a soft smile and then went upstairs.

In the meantime, Slash started playing guitar, without plugging it of course, in an attempt to distract himself. He was also debating whether or not he should talk to Axl about what he had seen earlier this morning. He knew too well that keeping it a secret would kill him, so he decided to just be honest. He would have helped him anyway, even if their prom deal was cut. He would be really sad about it, but he would never obligate him to do it; he just hated people playing with his feelings.

About twenty minutes later, Axl came downstairs, his hair all messy and his eyes still sleepy.

“Hey, there’s something I need to tell you.” He said as soon as Slash acknowledged him.

“Me too man, wanna grab a beer and go to the backyard? It’s a nice day and I feel like I’ve been trapped inside too much!” Slash proposed, and the redhead nodded.

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

“I think a found a date for you. For prom, I mean,” Axl stated, and Slash felt like his heart broke a bit. He looked down, unsure of what to say and how to hide his disappointment.

“W-who?” He settled for, his voice trembling a bit.

“Joan Jett. She’s Lita’s best friend. A cool chick, a totally badass.” He replied confidently.

Slash looked him directly in the eyes, and he felt a weird feeling in his chest.

“Prom is in four days, man. If you didn’t want to go with me, you could’ve just said it. If you wanted to play with my heart for all this time, please don’t.” Slash said, and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

He went back in his house, closed the door, and then he let himself slide down against the wall as he started to silently cry.

Maybe Axl Rose really did break his heart after all.

Taglist: @duffshairdye​ @slashscowboyboots​ @cosmicrealmofkissteria​ @ozzy-dumbass-of-darkness​ @smokeandmirrorz​ @thespacecowboyyy​

[lcyalty]

i don’t feel like making a joke to break the ice so here’s one of my favorite tiktoks: https://vm.tiktok.com/s1rSS5/ . anyways, hiii, fed admin sabrina here :) time to check off the introductory personality checklist: i’m 20, a leo, a slytherin, a woc, a pre-law major on the east coast, uhhhh harry styles and marvel trash, i play over 10 instruments, i prefer the thigh over the chicken breast, and i’m really happy u all r here and joined my little creation :’) smack that read more to learn abt my children daisy moretti and jude valentine so we can plot !!

                                                             DAISY MORETTI.                                                  pinterest: https://pin.it/7unKPi8                                                                     the basics: full name: daisy mia moretti | hometown: the bronx, new york | zodiac: aries | orientation: bisexual | employment status: intern on the news broadcasts floor | positive traits: social, determined, hardworking, attentive, confident, smart | negative traits: rude, irresponsible, cunning, cutthroat, insensitive, selfish

the backstory:

here’s the best way i can describe daisy: take the love for fashion and luxury of carrie bradshaw and cher horowitz, mix it with the power and intensity of olivia pope, and add in all the meanness of every single rude, b*tchy person you can think of. that’s her.

daisy was born to a huge italian family who all had odd jobs; her dad specialized in fixing the batteries on smoke detectors. her mom ran the laundromat down the street. a lot of her uncles owned car detailing businesses and she had a couple of older cousins who were janitors or low-level staff members at the local middle schools. while her family was fine with this, because hey, it paid the bills, daisy, who had always had expensive tastes from the start, turned her nose at it all.

she, unsurprisingly, became the first in her family to make it past high school. daisy did absolutely every major, resume-boosting thing while she was in school, because she learned very quickly that she liked power and being better than others. there was something she loved about coming home from school and getting to brag about her debate team win while her cousins could only nod. 

she was great at school, and she made sure everyone knew. she did mock trial, debate, sga -- she even joined the environmental club just for the clout. and then one of the people in her model un group said she should run for president one day.

it made sense. daisy likes power, she likes bossing people around and always being right, and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. she’d be a fantastic fucking president. so, naturally, after finishing college and pushing through an internship she didn’t really like just so she could have another bullet point on her resume, daisy applied for an internship at masters international. she knew she’d get the gig, obviously.

daisy loves fashion and luxury. she spends majority of her money on vintage chanel tweed matching sets to wear into the office, she has red bottoms that give her four extra inches of height, and her foundation costs over a hundred dollars. you’d think she’d want to be on the floors that deal with vogue and help organize new york fashion week, but that’s not going to get her a presidency, duh. daisy interns on the floors that handle the news broadcasts so she gets firsthand knowledge on all the shit, political or otherwise, that goes down in the country.

i would love to type more but i don’t want to hint at anything that points to her secret, so i’m going to explain a little more about daisy’s personality

she’s so, so controlling and bossy. she wants to be the absolute best at everything, and the shining star of it all. daisy’s definitely an attention hog, and she’ll bust her ass on her work to make sure she’s better than everyone else on the floor with her. 

daisy’s very picky about who she hangs out with. as a future presidential candidate, optics are very important, obviously. she only surrounds herself with people she deems to be good for her image, and she’ll gladly let you know that she thinks you’re too shitty to be around. she cares a lot about how she appears to other people, you know.

daisy is selfish and rude, and truly doesn’t care if she hurts someone’s feelings. she speaks her mind and has absolutely no filter -- which gets her into a lot of trouble, i’m sure you can imagine. 

wanted connections:

enemies: if you need a bad guy or work rival in your character’s life, i wholly volunteer miss daisy moretti as that bad guy. it’s not hard for her to make enemies when you consider her personality.

ex: please please give me an angsty ex plot filled with depth and all the details. there’s gotta’ be a reason why daisy wants to be not only the first female president, but also the first president without a spouse, after all.

hookups: listen. she has needs.

                                                            JUDE VALENTINE.                                                   pinterest: https://pin.it/1dfK9dE                                                                 the basics: full name: jude lee valentine | hometown: tuscaloosa, alabama | zodiac: gemini | orientation: heterosexual | employment status: corporate attorney for masters international | positive traits: friendly, warm, sociable, extroverted, smart, witty, energetic | negative traits: compulsive, secretive, disloyal, impulsive, ignorant, desensitized

the backstory:

picture it with me: a ranch. nice pale green shutters and a huge yard. there’s cows in this picture, too, and horses. there might even be goats. there’s a tractor by the two ford trucks, a dog sleeping on the porch, and not another house for another twenty minute drive. this is what jude valentine is used to. he’s a country boy from alabama, equipped with the southern accent and everything. yes, he has a pair of cowboy boots. yes, he brought them to new york with him. yes, he pronounces creek as ‘crick’.

jude is a very sweet boy. he was quarterback in high school, got good grades, and every sunday he went to church with his family because Bible Belt things. homeboy is named after a book in the Bible. he’s all about southern manners and hospitality, about treating people kindly and always putting others first, and he always keeps his morals in check. or, he used to.

when you’re home it’s hard to stray away from what you’re used to. the same held true for jude in college, because even though he went to u of alabama (can you hear him yelling roll tide), he was still in his home state so he felt those morals still stuck with him. but then he applied for law school and got a full ride to nyu law, and whew, the Temptation

‘cuz you see, jude was always a sweetie pie. he still is! in high school he was super popular because he was tall and cute and athletic but funny and brought extra biscuits from home to hand out in homeroom. i’m not gonna lie, he’s charming af. he’s smooth and he has good jokes. the girls loved him but the little sh*t had a purity ring.

but then he got to nyc for law school and let me tell you. alabama is not close at all to manhattan, now is it. jude was fine the first couple of weeks, just worked on his case briefs in his shoe box of a starter apartment... but the women. homeboy started sleeping around a LOT after a while. y’know wet dreamz by j cole where he’s like haven’t been inside p*ssy since i came out one? yeah, that was jude until ny, and he’s very much still like that

is jude still the sweetest, nicest guy ever? yes. is jude still the type of guy to knock on your office door and ask if you want to walk to get coffee with him even though you guys have probably never met? yes. is jude the first guy on the dance floor when there’s a midnight party on the rooftop? yes. is jude the type of guy who’ll fuck with you and say no, he only listens to music made by a spoon and a blade of grass if you think he only listens to country music? yes. but he also has slept with at least twenty different interns and employees at the office, so.

he also dabbles in the occasional little pill when he’s got eight depositions to write up before tomorrow but he was too busy screwing some chick the night before. he first did this in law school. but we don’t worry about that.

stop it, i know what you’re thinking: sabrina, come on. so he sleeps around, okay. what’s the big deal about that?

here’s the big deal: he’s engaged.

lil (i say lil but he’s 6’3” while i’m only 5’0”, so lemme stfu) cupcake jude is a cheater. he’s got a whole fiancée and yet he still sleeps with other women, and each time he’s like no, okay, that was the last time for real, but then there’s a new intern at the office and the higher ups always throw the new people at him because he knows how to make people feel comfortable, and his country accent is cute and refreshing among all the new york bs, and the whole attorney thing certainly isn’t a negative, and, well. he gets tempted. and afterwards he always tells the girl okay, please, can this stay between us.

u wouldn’t know he’s engaged either bc it’s not like he’s wearing the engagement ring, now is he

i’m staying hush on daisy’s secret but jude’s is that he’s cheating on his significant other with people in the office. is he still a nice guy? heck yeah, but also, you have to be a certain kind of messed up to keep cheating on your s/o and just not tell them. that’s a lotttt of lying you’re just comfortable with. oh, what’s that? you’re threatening to tell his fiancée that you two slept together because you think she deserves to know? well. he’d hate having to do it, but... jude’s not above knocking someone down if it means his secret stays hidden.

wanted connections:

hookups: literally i will take as many hookup plots i can get. doesn’t matter if they’re an intern or an employee; jude will sleep w them and then make them promise not to tell anyone in the office afterwards because “wE’rE nOt sUpPoSeD tO sLeEp wItH cOwOrKeRs” but we all know why he wants to keep it under wraps. this also doesn’t have to be an only connection; he can be friends w someone but also hook up w them on the low too

fiancée: this one is huge for me so pls pls message me if ur seriously interested in this plot and we’ll talk !!

friends: this one is so easy bc jude will literally make conversation with a chair. he’s super sociable and fun and approachable and he loves making friends !! give me some ppl he can pester during lunch break and throw balled up pieces of paper at

best friend: he’s gotta have that one person that he just clicks really, really well with. jude talks to everyone and he’s super friendly but this person is his confidant. he goes to them w almost all of his problems and rants to them and asks for advice and likes to just be around this person. trusts them w his entire life. hmuuuuu :)

ex: listen. we all need a good ex plot and this person is probably the only one in the office jude isn’t bringing a complimentary donut to

sister: jude has a younger sister and honestly she was gonna be a npc but the idea of him looking out for her at the office and getting all (ง•̀_•́)ง when ppl r mean to her is smth i reeeeally like. or maybe they actually don’t get along that well and bicker a lot but there’s still that underlying hey i’ve got your back. you piece of shit. type feel going on !!

[seamacnair]

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul,   leave it to the land, this is what it knows.

SAOIRSE  LENORA MACNAIR.  21. CAR MECHANIC. ORDER MEMBER.

i’ve polished this anger and now it’s a knife’, switching out sweet lollipops for bitter cigarettes, burning bridges, the way the trees slice your skin as you run from the world, how you feel just as home in the garage ( elbow deep in a car ) as you do in the woods ( screaming at the top of your lungs ), sunkissed shoulders, blasting music in your car at 3AM on a monday, being just as comfortable swinging an axe as behind the barrel of a gun, laughing so hard you can’t breathe, the riff of an electric guitar, licking blood of your fingertips, how you’re so determined to be more than just the butcher’s daughter ( but then they give you a knife and you’re an artist, with that thing ), living out of your car and sleeping under the stars, somehow always finding leaves and seaweed tangled in your hair, giving the world the finger, and how you’ve ended up mirroring your father, even after everything - because you’re both executioners, after all. let’s see if you know how to live with it, too. 

pinterest. song aesthetic. 

full playlist.

golden trio era.

DANIELLE ROSE RUSSELL? No, that’s actually SAOIRSE MACNAIR from the GOLDEN TRIO ERA. You know, the child of WALDEN MACNAIR and EMERENTIA MACNAIR? Only 21 years old, this GRYFFINDOR alumni works as a CAR MECHANIC and is sided with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. SHE identifies as CIS FEMALE and is a PURE BLOOD who is known to be INDEPENDENT TO A FAULT, BLOOD THIRSTY, and WILD but also FOCUSED, CARING, and FEARLESS. — &&. ( LIZ, GMT+2, SHE/HER, 22. )

name: saoirse lenora macnair. nickname: sea, sasha. occupation: car mechanic. former house: gryffindor. date of birth: august 15 ( a leo to her very core ). age: 21.

when stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity, alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity

BIRTH, EARLY YEARS, UPBRINGING, FAMILY.

VIOLENCE TW / DEATH TW.

The Macnair name has for generations been one closely tied to bloodshed and violence ----- and her father was no different than the men that came before him. Walden Macnair - THE EXECUTIONER, as he would come to be called, had a taste for blood that could never be quite quenched. 

So Saoirse was born into a circle of Death Eaters and destruction, right? Her father was a Death Eater, one of the most loyal, one of the men that were in it for the fun of it, the pleasure, the love of chaos and violence. Her mother was less so, but equally as invested in the cause. When Voldemort died, they both grieved and plotted their revenge.

WEAPONS TW. DEATH TW.

Saoirse was raised according to proper Macnair family tradition, it was no matter that they no longer had a master to follow. She learned the honorable trade of swinging an axe when she still wobbled on unsteady toddler legs. A silver dagger was placed in her hands before she knew what death truly meant. And she spilled blood long before she could ever comprehend what she was doing —— who she was hurting. 

She is an only child, and her parents’ most prized possession. They cared about her deeply, yes, but they also viewed her as something they owned.

The Macnairs are so very Irish. Saoirse speaks with a heavy accent, as well.

TORTURE TW / EXPERIMENTS TW.

Her mother was less of a monster, than her father. But monster enough, you know? She worked part time as a librarian, and most of her free time was spent doting on Saoirse. She was the type of woman to always look the other way as her husband dragged another poor soul towards an early grave. She was the type of wife to ignore the experiments, the horror. Sometimes she’d help, and she never objected. Through her, Saoirse would later learn that there are more than one kind of monster ( and that there are few monsters that she’s not capable of loving, in one way or another ).

So, Saoirse was born only a few days after Voldemort’s first downfall. Her father never went looking for Voldemort, not at first, because he had something new to call his world ( a daughter ). Instead, he quietly continued his work at the ministry as an executioner.

Shit was pretty intense at the Macnair home ------ and Saoirse found solace in one place only. They lived by the woods, and she grew up as a daughter of the forest, spending countless hours climbing trees, running through the woods, attempting ( with varying degrees of success ) to befriend the local animals. 

So Walden Macnair figured out pretty early that there was no use to try to cage his daughter, she was a wild thing, a force of nature. He may have tried, but she just fought him harder. Became more in love with the woods, disappeared for longer periods of time. Eventually, he gave in, let his daughter be the girl that she was meant to be.

She also spent a considerable amount of time at the neighbor's house, an elderly witch who took great care to show Saoirse something OTHER than what her father had been teaching her. She knew all too well the likes of the Macnairs, but had grown fond of the youngest daughter who showed all the signs of that Macnair viciousness, the violence that seemed to boil through their blood. But also something else, something less wicked.

The elderly witch ( a lady who went by the name of Clemence Bode ) was a practitioner of the old ways, the old magic. She taught Saoirse a thing or two, tried to focus her attention ( her wildness ) on something that didn’t do any harm.

Saoirse never had any siblings, and thus had the full attention of her parents. They loved her so very much, and Saoirse surely loved them too. So how could she say no when her father tried to mold her in his image? When she was younger, she didn’t see the harm.

HOGWARTS YEARS.

She arrives at Hogwarts and cares little for what they are teaching ---- she neither has the attention span or the interest to keep up with the rest of the class. So she falls behind, focuses her energy elsewhere. Becomes a bit of a trouble maker, stubbornly sneaks off into the Forbidden Forest instead of going to class. She learns the woods like the back of her hand, and will go missing for hours ( sometimes, days ), lost somewhere in the dark forest. But Saoirse has never been scared of what lurks in the dark.

She is in the year below the famous Harry Potter ------ and she has grown up hearing just how awful this boy is. How he has ruined everything. But then Saoirse meets this boy, and she can’t see it. A lot of things don’t add up ------ her parents’ eager warnings and long letters don’t make any sense, in the scheme of things. The muggles aren’t so bad, either. Her alliances change, her priorities adapt to the new world before her eyes.

She’s in her third year at the school when Voldemort returns. She notices a change in her father, how he grows more vile, and she finds herself looking at the father figure that she loves so dearly with a new found disgust. Hate doesn’t come easy to Saoirse, like it does to her father. She loves him, but doesn’t understand. Her worlds comes crashing down around her, her belief system ( which was already rattled ), eventually comes down in shambles. There’s nothing quite as sad as losing faith in your parents, and Saoirse is devastated.

She’s 14 and in her fourth year when she stumbles across a new interest. After wandering in the forbidden forest, she stumbles across an abandoned car ( she doesn’t know it, but it’s a blue Ford Anglia ). It lets her fuck around with its engine, and after that, she’s stuck.

That summer, she buys her first car, in secret.

The same year, she joins Dumbledore’s Army and finds a new outlet for the skills that have been drilled into her since her childhood. She’s an adept dueler, and even better with a knife ( so she does well enough, in any fight ).

Has possibly the worst grades of her year !!!!!! They’re BAD, y’all. Has never met a deadline in her life on time.

That one student that’s always in detention because she blew off class, but then also blows off detention and gets even more detention. Vicious circle.

The two classes that Miss Macnair aced were herbology and care of magical creatures.

Was never as easy to anger, like her father. So the fights that she did end up participating in were usually not started by her ( to her father’s disappointment, I would assume ). But like most ladies, she finishes fights more often than starting them. Saoirse has a different kind of rage, a sort of disappointment with how everything has turned out.

Definitively the girl that insists on going swimming in the lake on Christmas even though it’s freezing.

During her sixth year, Saoirse fought in the battle of Hogwarts. It was the hardest thing she ever did ( and she never fired a killing curse on that day ------ her father could be behind any of those masks, couldn’t he ? ).

Saoirse has never denied her heritage, the blood that runs in her veins. But she’s determined ( has made a promise to herself ) that she will be more than her name. 

Saoirse is incredibly brave, and the bravest thing that she ever did was load up her car on the day after graduation, and leave her family home. She basically gave her dad the finger, and he was a dangerous man to piss off.

But somehow, their relationship stayed somewhat intact. Her parents couldn’t bear to lose a daughter, so it became a somewhat odd relationship. Her parents pretended not to know about Saoirse and her leanings ( working with muggles, living in a little muggle village ). In turn, Saoirse pretended to not know what her parents had done during the wars ( she’ll never forget, though. she’s all too aware what she comes from, the cross that she has to bear ).

AFTER HOGWARTS.

After Hogwarts, Saoirse moved to a small muggle village on the coast of Ireland. She found work as a car mechanic at a shop in a coastal town a few kilometers away. 

WEAPONS TW.

Saoirse is not quick to use magic. It’s usually her last resort, something she only uses when absolutely necessary. She takes her car to work, she prefers using a gun to her wand, these days. She’s also still very much influenced by her elderly neighbor. Saoirse has always loved old magic.

Has that ‘witch in the woods’ aesthetic. Brews a lot of herbal remedies, always has a potion bubbling on her stove, somehow always has twigs ensnared in her hair and has that wild look in her eyes. 

Tries to help The Order of the Phoenix in any way that she can. She fought in the Battle of Hogwarts, and has proven herself many times ( but she knows that people still have misgivings about her )

Will do the dirtier jobs for the Order. She’s not afraid to get blood onto her hands, she knows that they are already ruined, long ago.

PERSONALITY.

Saoirse relies very heavily on her instincts. She goes off people’s auras to get a sense of who they are and if she can trust them, and she always, always follows her gut. If something doesn’t feel right to her, she will react.

Thinks that she doesn’t need anyone else and is VERY stubborn in this belief. Also very stoic, won’t ask for help even if it’ll kill her. 

She may be wild, but she has a very calm demeanor. Very little will rattle her. She has seen enough shit, already. Nothing you’ll do will surprise her.

There are some things you can’t forget. Some lessons are so harshly drilled into us from a young age that it would be impossible to start fresh. Violence is Saoire’s poison, the one thing she can’t shake. But sometimes she wonders, if maybe there’s more to it.

Easily distracted when it comes to things that don’t interest her, but SO focused when it comes to things that do !!!!!! Can tinker on a car engine for hours without growing bored. 

Has a rebellious streak that is just fueled by the way that she was raised ( to be feral, like a wolf, unshakable ). Walden Macnair really played himself on that one.

The last ten years of her life have really just been one long revolt, huh?

Not very serious and quick to laughter !!!! Will laugh until she cries !!!!!

Has never found a rule that she can’t figure out how to break in the most extra way possible !!!!

WEAPONS TW.

Fights dirty, always. Saoirse rarely uses her wand. She’s the one who brings an entire artillery to a wand fight ( she’s just as comfortable behind the barrel of her gun as she is with an axe, a dagger, a machete ). 

She is okay dueling someone with her wand as well, but she’s not as strong as some other witches, so it’s just easier to survive doing what she does best.

VERY LESBIAN !!!!!!!!

Smiles a lot !!!!!!

Never met a dare that she didn’t want to immediately say yes to !!!!

Very protective of children in particular. She knows what evil is out there and she will fight it for them!!!!

Has no concept of a fair fight and would 100% go up alone against five people twice her age. Don’t know if that’s brave or just stupid. 

Not a big fan of reading but will, in the year of 2029, probably discover audio books. 2001-Saoirse was too busy.

2029 action movies are gonna blow Saoirse’s mind!!!! She loves muggle action movies.

Has a bit of a mischievous look at all times, which is fitting because Miss Macnair is usually up to nothing good.

FOOD TW.

Sucks at cooking but will do it anyways. Mostly cooks things that she has grown herself, but the execution isn’t always the best. Prepare for overboiled potatoes and oversalted gravy when visiting her!

A bit of a loner, for sure. Lives alone with her three dogs and two cats and isn’t that really all the company that you could ever need? Saoirse thinks so.

THE TIME CLASH.

So ---- the time clash happens and it’s not the Best Time of Sea’s life. 

She discovers quickly that she doesn’t exist in 2029, but no one will tell her ( or knows ) what happened to her !!!!!!!! It’s a mess !!!!!!!!

According to most people, Saoirse Macnair just went missing one day in 2009, never to be heard from again. Most other people found families, loved ones, future children through the timeclash. Saoirse just found nothing, except for a mystery that she isn’t especially eager to solve.

[hey-malarkey]

One Thing Left

Word Count: 4738 

Warnings: NON-CON as fuck!! billstanwich- revenge torture porn, basically. Stan and Ford torture a bill without powers. Body horror (Bill’s), Implied/Referenced eye horror. stancest, tentacles. 

I think that hits all the warnings. 

Summary: Post-Weirdmageddon Ford found Bill powerless, still in his physical form- well, mostly powerless.. he discovers through trial and error that Bill’s only power left is reconstitution that he has no control over. And Ford uses that to his advantage..

“Where’s the tough guy? You afraid he wouldn’t let you keep your little pet if he knew what you were doing, down here? Think he’d be too disgusted by you, Sixer? Being such a freak, to get hard at all the time you spend with me instead of him?”

Bill tries taunting Ford today. It’s true, he hasn’t told Stanley what he does down here, but that was more to protect his brother from overwhelming his mind immediately after Weirdmageddon. He didn’t want the immediate memories he recovered to be of the torture inflicted at Bill’s command.

But it had been a few months, now, and still Ford was coming down here. Bill’s words sunk into his mind, and he knew Bill’s intent was to be let go, but Bill didn’t know his brother. Bill didn’t know what Stan was capable of, was always underestimating his brother. The kids told him that Bill had entered Stan’s mind during the summer, but had no more mastery over it than they had.

Bill didn’t know what he’d just unleashed on himself. But for the moment-

“You’re right, Bill. How selfish of me, to keep this to myself. I’ll go inform him at once.” Ford gave a hard half-smile at Bill, who watched him with hate and just the slightest amount of fear. Ford felt a thrill run through him every time he knew he inspired that look in his former enemy. He patted one of bill’s angles patronizingly and left without another word, despite Bill’s voice being thrown at his back.

 Ford told Stanley what he’d been doing in the basement. The secret he’s kept. Stan was a little taken aback, but for none of the reasons one might think. Tentatively, hesitant in a way that Ford still couldn’t fully associate with the brother he used to know, Stan asked if he could join. At the very least watch, but…

“But we should do this together,” he’d said, determination and something darker glinting in Stan’s eyes. Ford was sure his expression matched it. He leaned in for a kiss and for a moment the two of them disregarded any thought of Bill in favor for being caught up in each other.

 -

Bill heard two sets of footsteps approaching his table. He stirred out of the daze he’d let himself settle into. He was itchy all over as his body did the one thing it was still good for, and stitched itself back together. It was uncomfortable and it didn’t dispel the soot or debris or dried blood off of him. He was just knitted back into his physical form, minus the cosmic power. It was miserable, undignified, and too dam itchy. He liked plotting how he’d get his revenge on Six-Fingers for all of this, followed by that insufferable salamander. Then the rest of this dimension. Then-

“Hello there,” a voice interrupted his musings. Bill focused his eye upward and was seeing double. No, wait, he’d heard both of them coming. Stanford and his meatbag brother. Stan had been the one to speak. Bill glared up at him balefully, not responding.

“Hey now, it’s only polite to speak to your special guest, Bill. Say something,” Ford placed his hand beside Bill, leaning closer, staring steadily at him. Bill saw the same hard glint that Ford always had. The hate. Bill loved knowing he still had that amount of control over Sixer, having the ability to make him hate him.

On the other hand, Ford thought he had all the power, now. And admittedly, he wasn’t entirely wrong. But one day, I’LL be master of the worlds again, and WHEN THAT DAY COMES, THEY’LL BE IN FOR IT. WEIRDMAGEDDON WILL LOOK LIKE A WARM UP COMPARED TO WHAT I PLAN ON DOING TO THEM, THEN!

Bill is pulled out of his mind once more as Ford strikes a match and lowers it over his eye, threateningly. Bill quickly turns it to his mouth. He’d had enough of that, earlier.

“Heya, Fish. Come to join the party?”

The flame was extinguished and Bill tried to hide his relief as he switched his eye back out. He’d tried to sound like talking was all his own idea, but his position made it pretty clear who was pulling the strings, currently.

Stan cocked his head, arms crossed, studying Bill. Bill couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Not like it ever seemed like Fish thought of much, but still. It was almost unnerving, if he weren’t previously an all-powerful being, on his way to becoming one again.

“So what do ya wanna do, Ford?” Fish turns away, not even looking at him, not talking to him, ignoring him for Ford. Ford, who was still staring at Bill with an unreadable expression.

“I thought you could take the lead if you wanted, Stan. Or I could start, and you join as you feel comfortable.”

Stan nodded, circling the table, going around just beyond Bill’s line of sight.

“I remember readin’ a lot of your notes, Ford. I know you thought I never found your study, up top, but I did. Didn’t think too much about some of the side research you did into certain shapes at the time, but I think I care a little more now.”

Ford nods to Stan’s words. Bill is trying to stay stock still and not rise to the bait. If they wanted to talk to him, he’d wait for them to speak to him first.

“I seem to remember some—ah, correct me if I’m wrong, memory’s not what it was, for some reason,” Stan starts, and Ford raps his fingers against the table one at a time, slowly. “But I think there were one or two diagrams that were particularly helpful to a situation like this. Think they’re still viable, Ford?”

He feels a small whoosh of air, and assumes Stan is gesturing just behind him. Ford’s eyes flicker up to Stan and back down to Bill. Ford’s smile grows into a snarl directed at Bill. He feels a slight tremor go through him, but tries not to shake.

That’s when the first fingers brush his top vertices. They run down his sides, then curve around his bottom angles, to his lower line. Still he refuses to talk to them first. He doesn’t pull against the unnecessary restraints. He stays still and lets the hate show in his eye.

Stan’s fingers pause on his bottom edge, in the space between his legs. He didn’t honestly think—oh, shit. Bill didn’t think this body could—he’s powerless, he doesn’t have his previous form changing powers, how come he can feel—shit—the human phrase is the only one that makes sense to his mind right now. He feels something stirring within his body, parts of him he thought locked and dead in this new form.

Stan is rubbing lightly, but starting to get more vigorous. Bill feels his bricks softening and then splitting seamlessly.

“Hmm, looks like that diagram is still spot on, Ford. Not bad for over thirty years since I saw ‘em, huh?” Stan hooks a finger in the hole he’d made and Bill bites back his reactions. He can’t control how his form is pulsing low yellow light and heat as his breathing gets rougher, but it’s also hopeless to think neither have noticed. Ford is staring, still drumming his fingers on the table, eyes fixed to Stan’s hand movements.

Stan wiggles his thick finger in there, making Bill’s passage even wider, edging his other index finger on the other side, leaning on the table with his elbows so he bracketed Bill, face over his body. He pulled the hole further, like an oval, and Bill couldn’t help the yelp that tore from his throat.

He cursed himself for the momentary weakness, though it finally got Stan to stop pulling. Just for a moment though. With Stan over him, he could see the feral grin on Stan’s face. He could see a plan forming between them but not what it was.

Well, Bill could guess, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to vaporize both of them and shred them of their bodies, molecule by painful molecule. In due time.

Stan abruptly started tugging and trying to stick more fingers inside of him. Bill shuddered and tried to close his knees, but the stupid unicorn hair kept him locked in place. He struggled against it, but it was no use.

Stan laughed over him, a low chuckle filled with dark promise. “Oh, now he’s starting to get it. You need something, Bill? A pillow?” Stan succeeds in stuffing two more fingers inside of him, waggling them around inside, still stretching his bricks back. Bill couldn’t help the whimper, but he turned it into a growl.

“Let me outta these! I’ll show you both what happens when you mess with mE!” Bill let out a high strangled yelp as Stan hit one of them. Stan didn’t seem to realize what he’d touched, though.

“Whaddaya say, Sixer?”

Ford shook his head slightly. “Later.”

Stan nodded, tugging Bill wider and wider. “Have at it, bro,” Stan said, having worked the rest of his fingers into the hole and now holding Bill open like his hands were clamps, fingernails digging into his softer inner brick structure, not quite hitting what he’s made of inside. Ford, however, has a straight shot to those. And the look in his eye is remembering what else is inside of Bill, and wondering if it was still true in this form.

Ford leans down and he doesn’t go one at a time. He shoves his hand in, only able to get a few fingers around where Stan is still tugging back his edges. He rams his hand in and has to thrust in and out in order for Bill’s body to accept the intrusion. Bill yelled, and then yelled again as Ford tore straight through to them and when his fingernails scraped down their sides and he managed to wiggle over them Bill was crying out, helplessly bound, overstimulated and the men over him were barely getting started.

“Whatcha hit, Sixer?” Stan asks, pressing harder as he pulls Bill open around Ford’s hand. Bill can’t stop cursing but he hears them speak over him.

Ford grins, knowing exactly what he’s hit. On his next pass inside Bill’s body he manages to push his thumb in, despite the resistance, and he uses it to grab one of them. Bill screams and cool fire erupts inside of him. Slick and blue it flows around Ford’s fingers as Ford pulls them out.

Before he was reduced to this pitiful state, Bill had control over his body, to shapeshifting abilities to growing extra arms or tentacles. It came from his inner core, the extra parts. Bill thought with his reduction in powers, that he’d lost them. And he had, in a way. Now, they were locked inside of him, and were reacting to stimulus. They were hyper-sensitive and starting to wriggle on their own as Stan cracked him open and Ford dug in.

And it hurt. It was pain and fire and good and the worst and Bill didn’t know what to do. Sixer had been burning him and chewing him and putting him through a hundred different tortures, but that was all on the surface. This was his inner core, and he could feel every single piece of pain as separate and as a whole and they weren’t letting up.

  Bill was screaming under Ford’s hands and it only made him grin wider. He was glad he’d waited until Stanley joined him for this. He was glad his brother took the lead so naturally, and was open to including him in his plans. He was glad Bill Cipher was just powerful enough for his form to heal itself after every indignity suffered, but not control anything else.

He was grinning as he felt that slick blue fluid run over his fingers as he punched his way into Bill’s body. As Stan dug his hands into the grooves surrounding the split in the bricks he’d found. He’d wondered if Bill still had the inner-workings he’d once had. For one of his days, he’d considered turning Bill inside out, breaking his body apart and ripping him from every angle. To see how long it’d take him to heal from that. But this blind exploration was better, to hear Bill cursing him, voice cracking, as he slammed into Bill’s body again and again.

He felt a few stabs of heat pool in his gut as Bill’s screams grew shriller. As Stan made eye contact with him and winked, a matching grin on his brother’s face.

“I seem to have discovered that he does, in fact, still retain portions of his former self, buried within,” Ford said calmly, even as he punched with frenzy into Bill, tearing and cracking his innards, grasping his tentacles and pulling as far as they’d go. He hadn’t been able to tear them outside of Bill’s body, but hopefully soon.

“Oh, like the extra hands? Or the tentacles? Is that what I hit on, earlier? Felt something little fishy down in there, I think.”

“Yes, Stanley, I believe you did. Would you like to try?”

Ford lets go of the tentacle and spreads his fingers wide as he rips his hands from Bill’s hole. He waves Stan over, and Stan lets go, moving around the table to stand next to Ford. For a moment Ford looks at the slick blue substance sliding over his hands. Like the fire Bill controlled in his former life, it was hot, but it did not burn him. It was more liquid than fire.

Stan held one hand up to rub it between his first two fingers. Ford looked down where Bill was heaving, back arching off the platform from the ferocity of his breaths. His hole was ragged and open, pulsing a little at the edges. One of the tentacles was slowly reeling itself back into his body.

Ford nudges Stan, tilting his head down at Bill, encouraging him silently to try.

Stan looks over Bill. He whistles one long, low note. “Wow, we’ve really started doing a number on you, huh, Bill?”

Bill doesn’t answer, eye shut tightly and hateful, angry tears leaking out the side.

“What, cat got your tongue? Nothing left to say after that big fit you just threw?” Stan laughs as he leans down a little closer. Bill still refuses to answer, body trembling slightly, his fists still clenched.

Stan, with no preamble, punches into Bill, despite the resistance, and Bill bucks and curses loudly. Stan buries his hand as far as he can, spreading his fingers out and weaving them around and between the earlier discussed tentacles. Bill squirms and Stan pushes his arm in even further.

Ford watches Stan’s face change into a fascinated disgust as he pushes deeper. He hears Bill’s pants and abortive groans and he relishes each one.

“Oh, I think I feel ‘em now,” Stan says, twisting his arm around inside of him. Stan does something and Bill howls.

Ford feels the heat start pooling in his belly, can feel himself start to grow hard. Beside him Stan is thrusting deeper, causing Bill to begin struggling again, making the demon scream.

“What happens if I rip your pretty little insides out, huh? Or if I fuck every hole you’ve got? Are ya gonna cry for me, Bill? Gonna cry pretty little tears for me?”

“NO, NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!” are the only discernable words within the demon’s screams, twisting raggedly and being caught by the ropes, trying so hard to shut out the invading force to his body.

Ford feels another jolt of pleasure shoot through him and he brings one hand up to hold himself on Stan’s shoulder, leaning into him. He can feel the muscles in Stan’s shoulder and arm work as he punches into Bill. It’s so hot, so unbelievably arousing, he thinks he could come just from watching this.

But that’s not everything he hoped for, coming down here. Bill is still twisting and screaming, Stan throwing taunts as he leans closer over Bill.

“Untie him,” Ford commands, voice tight. He palms himself through his pants, staring hungrily down at Bill.

Stan looks up, takes in just how aroused his brother is, and smiles wide. “Sure thing, Sixer. Let me just—“

His arm flexes and he pistons his arm out of Bill, dragging the tentacles behind him, fast as a whip. So fast, he finally manages to tear one, even as his hand slides off the others, the warm blue-liquid-fire making Bill too slick to grasp properly.

But the tentacle that tore off, Bill clenches his hands into tight fists, voice shooting up an octave in the purest concentration of pain so far. Stan shakes his hand out, little droplets hitting Bill in the open eye, the table, parts of their shirts.

“Hope that comes out later,” he mutters as he undoes the bindings on Bill one by one. As soon as each appendage is free, Bill curls in on himself, trying to hold his ragged hole shut, panting and finally crying those pretty little tears Stan had mocked him over.

His entire form was trembling, and it only made Ford hotter. His greatest enemy, the being that tortured him for thirty years, that claimed almighty powers and invaded his mind and body, brought low before him. Reduced to nothing but a plaything for him and Stan to do as they saw fit. Always knitting himself back together for another session. It was the greatest gift Ford had ever been given.

“Bill, Billy, turn over. I want to see you.”

Bill keeps rocking slightly, trembling, trying to hunch further into himself.

“That’s not very sportsmanlike, Bill. I thought you wanted me to bring Stan down here. Don’t you want to see where the evening takes us? Answer me, Billy.”

“N-no,” Bill answers in a different voice. It’s not his usual scream, nor his cocky future-dreaming voice.

Stan makes a clicking noise with his tongue. “Don’t tell me he’s broken already? I barely got to see him at all.”

Ford draws himself around the table, leaving Stan’s side so he can get a better view of Bill. “He’ll knit back together, good as new, by tomorrow. But why fix what isn’t broken enough? Let’s see the limits of how far he can go, shall we?” he says, shooting out his hands to drag Bill back along the table by his arms.

Bill struggles weakly, trying to keep holding his bottom edge, but Ford is stronger than him.

“Open wide, Bill,” Ford says, tapping his closed eyelid.

Bill cracks his eye open, squinting at Ford with tears still pouring out.

“No. Open your mouth.”

“Sixer, come o—AHHHHH!” Bill barely had Ford’s nickname out before Stan rushed forward, slapping his ragged hole so hard his whole body shook. Bill screamed as Stan’s hand punched through him again, grasping the tentacles and squeezing so tight, he thought he’d die.

“You don’t get to call him that anymore, Bill,” he snarls. He lets go as quick as he latched on, tearing back out of Bill, making sure to drag his knuckles over his walls on the way out.

His eye had flipped automatically to a mouth in the time it took to yell as Stan tore through him, so Ford took advantage of that change after Stan had said his piece.

“Was that so hard?” he asks condescendingly as he sticks his hand inside Bill’s mouth. Bill’s body still makes no logical sense, Ford can reach in and down and keep going further, hitting and moving Bill’s throat around. But he’ll never quite hit the tentacles. His body is like a series of pocket dimensions made entirely of living material that are all hypersensitive. Maybe he should actually study his now permanent physical form, in the future.

That is to be mused on later. For now, he chokes Bill with a fist pressed down.

“I find it interesting that you do not have the teeth you so loved to bite and tear with, Billy. But it really makes these proceedings so much simpler, knowing you have no readily available recourse of revenge for these actions. That I can stick whatever I want down your gullet and you have to take it.”

Ford draws his hand back, pushing Bill’s lips apart with just his index and thumb. “Stay nice and wide for me, Billy, or else,” he warns, drawing his hand back to his jeans, unbuttoning himself and pushing his pants down around his thighs.

Stan lets out a low whistle, winking at Ford when he looks up. Ford smiles in turn but soon brings his attention down to Bill. He really did leave his mouth wide open, just as Ford suggested. He could see on the other end of the table where the blue fiery liquid still leaked out of him.

Ford stroked himself a few times, giving himself a small sense of relief after holding himself back for so long. It nearly hurt how badly he wanted to pound into Bill, wanted to see him cry and beg and curl in on himself leaking Ford’s cum.

He drags Bill closer, bending his top vertice over the edge of the table so he can have Bill’s mouth in the easiest accessible position for him.

And without any further words, he sticks his dick in and pistons his hips forward. The new position allows him to feel his dick bumping the back of Bill’s throat where it’s pressed against the table. He hears Bill trying to speak, and despite his words coming from somewhere else within him, he has trouble vocalizing when a human man is shoving a dick down his throat.

Fascinating.

“Suck it in, Billy, you know you like it rough,” Ford pants as he slams in harder, feeling the bended point of Bill’s top corner trying to bend back up into a straight angle. He spreads his legs slightly, allowing it to flex up, just barely rubbing over his balls as he fucks Bill.

It feels like there’s layers to Bill’s throat, sucking Ford in deeper, ridged but not painful to slide over. Folds of those pocket dimensions, perhaps, overlapping each other and letting Ford touch every single part of Bill in some way. Ford grabs onto the tops of Bill’s legs for a better grip, holding them apart and mushing them to the table so he can lean over and thrust his hips with abandon. He can feel his release building with every gargled scream pushing through Bill’s throat.

    “Who do you scream for, demon?” Ford grunts out as he pushes in deeper. He can feel a slight warmth emanating from Bill’s body, like he’s got a fever, as he pulses with color even though his screams are muffled. He loves the power trip that comes with forcing these reactions from Bill. He knows he’s so dam close, but he never wants this moment to end.

“Scream for me, Bill. I’m the only god you have left!” Ford shouts as he thrusts deep and feels the material of Bill’s throat ripple and shift, rubbing against him just right and he finally comes, shooting his load deep into Bill.

Bill’s gurgling, now, and even though it makes no sense, his anatomy is a cosmic joke, it fills Ford with pride that he did this to Bill. He pulls out, stroking himself letting the last bit of his seed splatter on Bill’s front. He pushes Bill onto the table, standing back to lean on the desk behind him, recapturing his breath.

Bill is crying again, curling in around himself, weeping blue fiery tears and actual tears intermittently. His bricks have all gone soft as he rocks himself slightly. Ford catches his breath and stuffs himself back into his pants, pulling them up to button, rounding the table to stand beside Stan again.

“How long have you been saving that line, Sixer?” Stan asks, an easy smile on his face as he appraises Ford. He takes in the red face and sweat that gathered on his temples and pushes Ford’s glasses back into place, dropping that hand to Ford’s shoulder, turning himself slightly away from Bill.

Ford let out a puff of air loudly. He glanced at Bill, then back to Stan.

“I’ve still got some things to work out, it seems. Fortunately we have plenty of time.”

It’s quiet for a moment, save Bill’s whimpers. Ford curls his arms around Stan’s waist and Stan plays with a little curl of hair at the back of Ford’s neck.

“Yeah, good thing.” Stan shuffles a little closer, pulling Ford to him. He kisses his brother, a little hungrily, and Ford realizes that Stan hasn’t gotten off yet. He pushes them back against the table, Stan nearly sitting on it, Ford sliding his hands down over Stan’s ass and slipping them into Stan’s jeans.

“Tell me what you want, Stanley,” Ford murmurs against Stan, barely pulling back to be heard, more intent on getting his brother off than effective communication.

Stan chuckles and pulls Ford in tighter, fingers tightening their grasp in his hair. He rubs against Ford and Ford fishes his hands around in Stan’s jeans, rubbing until he comes around to Stan’s dick. He starts stroking fast, whisked away by another hungry kiss. For a moment they’re two men rubbing against each other and the next moment Stan’s grunting as he comes in Ford’s hand.

Stan lays his head on Ford’s shoulder for a moment, breathing heavy, and Ford strokes him as he comes down, making sure he’s taken care of.

“Thanks,” Stan grunts out once he’s taken a moment or two, after he’s tucked back into his jeans.

Ford reaches back behind Stan and wipes his hand off on Bill’s outer bricks, getting the sticky white mess on him instead of his hand. Bill makes a few small sounds of protest, but he’s still shaking too much to actually fend the quick wipe. Ford looks back at Stan now that his hand is mostly cleaned off.

“Any time,” he says, smiling back at Stan.

“Let’s blow this basement. My show’s gonna come on soon,” Stan kisses Ford on the cheek, patting him on the ass as he allows his hands to drop down. He stretches, cracking his neck on each side, turning to the door.

Ford looks back at Bill on the table, and he feels a shiver spike through him. Stan glances back and rolls his eyes.

“C’mon, Sixer. We’ll be back tomorrow. When he’s put back together, right? We can have more fun tomorrow.”

Stan grabs the unicorn hair bindings and flips Bill onto what should be his stomach. He pulls the arms behind his back and the legs up into the air. He hogties Bill, the colorful rainbow threads glittering in the dim light of the basement. He ignores Bill’s renewed complaints and threats, throwing the extra length of rope up on a low-hanging beam in the spare room. Bill Cipher is suspended mid-air, blue fiery liquid leaking slightly from him as he struggles and wiggles and curses.

Ford watches all of this with a look of intrigue and something darker. His glasses catch the light for a moment and his eyes are unreadable, hidden.

Stan finishes tying Bill up, tapping him lightly, sending him spinning wildly.

“Ha! Perfect. Let’s go. I can tell ya about this idea I got watching earlier,” Stan says, dragging Ford out by the elbow. Ford turns and leaves happily with his brother, discussing Stan’s ideas for whenever Bill’s body next healed itself.

Bill was alone, feeling broken, stuttering curses and feeling that dam itch again as his body did the one thing it was still good for in that cursed physical form: heal. Heal for another fresh wave of horrors to be submitted to. He passed his time plotting how he’d get his revenge on Ford, Stan, that stupid salamander, the whole dimension one day!

He didn’t think about how his mouth still tasted like Ford’s cum. He didn’t think about how much he dreaded that flavor disappearing as his body reconstituted itself. He didn’t know if he hated himself or Ford more when he felt disappointment as it did.

[digikate813]

Fanfiction Writer Appreciation Recs

I’ve seen a bunch of people doing these, and i really wanted to too. I may be late to the party here, but I hope I can point you towards some cool stuff to check out. Most of what I read in the fanfiction circle is Gravity Falls, so this post is mostly just multi chapter fics from the Gravity Falls fandom! I might do one for one-shots, and I’m sorry if I forget any major ones, but this is what immediately comes to mind that I highly recommend.

Stanswap by @orangeoctopi7

Reverse Portal AU at it’s best! The Reverse Portal AU was popular for a while (almost on par with Blind Faith) and a lot of people tried to grab onto the idea, but after all this time, it just seems to have left a lot of incomplete works in it’s wake. That is not the case here. It’s still going, but it shows no sign of stopping until it tells it’s entire story. And this story has been insanely detailed and well executed. Retelling almost the entire series as if Ford was the one taking care of the kids, and the dilemmas he faces with the fact that Stan is stuck on the other side of the portal. Not to mention most of the jokes are on point with something you’d hear in Gravity Falls. The author is someone I am proud to call my friend, and that all started when this fic was recommended to me.

30 Seconds Later by @invisibletinkerer

A pretty recent one that i really hope gets more attention. I’ve seen people do fanart and stuff of Ford being the same age as when he got sucked into the portal, while his home dimension and Stan aged, but I didn’t really see much potential for a full story in that idea. That changes with this fic, which again is still ongoing, but updates fairly regularly. The interactions between the Grunkle Stan we know and love and a Ford who is still fresh from his sleep deprived paranoia days, and still susceptible to Bill’s possession brings so much engaging conflict that i cannot get enough of!

My Demons by @kazriku

An oldie but a goodie. This one is basically a Mystery Trio story that focuses mostly on Stan and Ford, and the first chapter was written before A Tale of Two Stans came out. Adjustments were made after that episode came out, but this fic is very much telling it’s own story on how the Stans became so distant, and the incident that lead to Ford being trapped on the other side of the portal. Filled with mysterious suspense and some entertaining brotherly bonding, even if it hasn’t updated in a while, if we’re talking about fanfics I appreciate, there was no way i couldn’t include this one. It was the first major GF Fanfic I read from the person who would become my first mutual, and chances are this fic lead to me reading all the ones you see here!

By the skin of your teeth by @apathetic-revenant

I didn’t realize just how popular this one was until today, but it deserves it. It’s so good! When Stan gets into his argument with Ford after Ford calls him for the first time in 10 years, he realizes that something's wrong with Ford. He’s very sick and his house is a wreck. There is so much tension and angst in this one as Stan puts the pieces together about what’s been going on with his brother, and Ford continuing to fight what seems like a losing battle. There’s a happy ending, but it takes quite a bit to get there, and it is glorious!

And Then There Were Three by @kalajorn

I’m just going to say it. This is one of my favorite Mystery Trio stories. Ever! With an author who I think really is under the radar in the community. Mystery Trio is probably my favorite AU for Gravity Falls, but depending on who you ask, it either got stronger or weaker once A Tale of Two Stans came out. For me, it only got stronger, and this fic is an excellent example of why. I adore the scenario presented here of how Stan and Ford eventually reunite. How there is some spark of their connection as brothers still there, but there are still forces interfering with that, and using the material from canon to build some great tension. Updates take some time, but i promise you it’s worth it. This story only gets more engaging with each chapter and i’m hoping it’ll stay that way.

A Little Bit Lost by @impishnature

Impish is really a beacon of life for the GF fandom. Regularly producing high quality content of all kinds. I could have put any number of her stories on here. If you miss Gravity Falls, and you want to reminisce about it over a weekend, scroll through her AO3. You’ll find a lot to enjoy. But one of my personal favorites is this compilation of fics surrounding the Feral Ford AU. An AU that vanished as quickly as it arrived. I was even going to write something small on it, but i just never got to it. Anyway, these stories of a paranoid, almost animalistic Ford from what trauma he faced on the other side of the portal is just so powerful. Every idea has a new obstacle. Sometimes it’s comforting. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking. But there’s always something to grab your attention and not let go. I come back to these a lot, and they are always a great read.

I’d also recommend her Mystery Trio fic Phobos, but that one hasn’t updated for a while. But I still really like it so here ya go!

Maybe it’s Not Too Late by @rum-and-shattered-dreams

Why was this one so hard to find? It’s awesome! One of the reasons I’ve dived so deeply into Gravity Falls fanfiction more then any other fandom I’ve been in, is because even after the official shows credits rolled, it still left us with so much potential for what other adventures were out there. And this is one of the best examples of that. It’s a great, insanely engaging post series adventure involving pretty much the entire main cast and the return of the Shapeshifter, with Fiddleford and Ford as the main focus. Yes, it is partly a Ship Fic, which I’m not crazy about, but I don’t really find it distracting. There is so much in this story, and the shipping is just another element of it. And FiddAuthor is one of the ships I tolerate more, so I don’t really mind that much. The rest is just too dang good!!

Better Kept Secret by BadonKaDank

Another one that nearly alluded my radar until a friend mentioned it to me back when it had just completed, and I’m glad they did because this story is AMAZING! Having someone from one of the boys’ past come back for revenge is another premise that was circulating for a while that I freaking adored!! There were a few good pieces of writing out there on this (and even a comic currently going on), but this fic is at the top of the chart for me. Filled with drama, action, intense and suspenseful moments, it’s one that really stuck with me that i can’t believe I almost missed. 

Goodnight Stanley by Kitsunesocks

I haven’t seen many people mention this one, and while it may not be the most angst filled story involving the Stan Bros, it’s still a great one. Without giving too much away, while Stan and Ford are getting ready to head back to Gravity Falls, they discover that Bill might not be entirely gone, and that he may be plotting a way to come back right under their noses. Despite how common it is, this is a premise I’ve never been crazy about. I think @thesnadger Axolotl is the only story like this to engage me past the first chapter. Except this one. This is a great adventure of a story. The pacing is excellent and the characters are on point. Some of the most accurate I think I’ve seen in a Gravity Falls fic. I especially appreciate how proactive Dipper and Mabel are in this story. A lot of fics like this tend to push them to the side to make room for the Stans. But this story makes good use of everyone involved. It’s not the most emotionally driven story out there, but it’s one of the most well put together stories I’ve seen in a GF fic.

Blind Faith by @pinesinthewoods

Oh my God! This one! I originally wasn’t going to include this one because I know the author is no longer active in the fandom, but again, appreciation post. And this story deserves to be appreciated no matter what. You all know this AU, where Stan and Ford both wind up on the other side of the portal, and have to face the horrors on the other side together. Blind Faith was already fairly popular at this point, but this story propelled it to something else. Something stronger. Something with depth. Leaving you with chills as you finish every chapter. Aside from My Demons, this is probably the first fanfic I was checking for updates on, daily. This brought many new ideas to the AU that you still see in the occasional new content today, and that is something truly special. This is from yet another author who I am proud to call a friend, and it’s weird to think that back then, I was just a fan of something a lot of other people were. I’m sure most of you have read this one, but if you haven’t, go read it! It’s one of the best out there.

Stanley McGucket by @thelastspeecher

This is the sort of fic I don’t normally care for. Tons of original characters and a lot of shipping. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just not for me. But the premise was just too intriguing to resist. The idea of Stan being offered a job from Fiddleford’s parents and basically becoming an honorary member of the McGucket family is a really endearing premise. And when certain characters reunite or put the pieces together about who they are to each other, it really gets the ball rolling. You’re just waiting to see how everything will turn out, and it’s a pretty great ride. I followed this story and it’s expansions for a while. Then it branched into multiple AUs on it’s own and it just got way too confusing to keep up with the tag. But the main story is still a enjoyable ride from a type of fic that usually doesn’t grab me. But it had an interesting idea that pulled me in, and followed through on it. Welcome to the McGucket Family Tree Stanley

Amnesia by @ducksalive

Okay, yeah. This one isn’t technically a Gravity Falls fic. But I’m really into Ducktales right now and i was running out of Gravity Falls stories. So yeah, I’ve started diving into Ducktales fan fiction. Even wrote one of my own which you should definitely check out. Please? There’s not much out there that’s grabbed me as much as these other stories yet (if anybody knows any good Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera/Gizmoduck stuff out there, let me know), but something about this one had my attention. 

I’m one of those people who is immediately intrigued by amnesia stories but the reason most people aren’t is because of how often they can go wrong. So far, that’s not the case here. In this story, Donald is the one with amnesia, and Glomgold finds him and convinces him that he’s his uncle, and that Scrooge is the enemy. From there it’s a race to try and help rescue Donald from a trap he doesn’t even know he’s in. While Donald constantly suffers for it. If you’re the type of person who likes family angst (which chances are you do if you’re a fan of any of the above fics) then you’ll get a kick out of this. Every time you think the family is going to get Donald back, Glomgold manages to snatch him away. And realizing just how far he’s willing to go to keep Scrooge’s nephew on his side is just shocking. This is another story that’s still ongoing, so there’s no telling how this will conclude yet, but at the moment, I am very emotionally invested in this one.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve gotten way more into fanfiction then I ever would have imagined. I never looked twice at it before, but now I’ve been a spectator to many creative stories, the authors of some of my favorites have become some of my closest friends, and I’ve even written a couple myself. I may be late to the actual day, but I hope this shows my appreciation for all the fanfic writers above and a few dozen I’m probably forgetting at the moment. 

[nour386]

Flute head canons:

1. Lute is a little shit and throws balls of water at Ford 

 2. Ford thought the lute would stop doing that so the first week of them dating had Ford with a lot of wet clothing by the end of the day. 

3. Later on Ford just uses his power to summon one of Lute's shirts to block the water attack. 

 4. Lute doesn't appreciate this. 

5. One time Ford saw Lute committing some kind of crime on the news and decides to summon the underpants from Lute to mess with him. 

6. Lute has him sleep in the couch punishment. 

7. While dating Lute, Ford decides to take a more neutral stance on the whole hero/villain debate. He works a lot of the paper work for the heroes but the real villains are the his supervisors who keep on keeping him after hours. 

8. Lute often cooks for the both of them. And despite his hydrokenesis his steak always comes out dry.

9. Lute tries to get Ford to join the villain side, but the best he gets is Ford jokingly saying 'with all the paper work I'm doing I might as well' 

10. Ford feels bad when he comes home late and finds Lute face down on his desk or in a dark room with the TV still on. 

11. after a while Lute takes Ford into consideration when he fights heroes. Not so much that he decides to ditch his life of crime, and more so that he makes sure that when he fights the collateral damage is kept to a minimum. 

12. Lute gets personally offended on Ford's behalf when he sees a hero breaking public property in order to fight him. 

13. Ford saves Lute from more than one near death experiences. 

14. Lute explains it away by saying that he learned how to turn his body to water but doing so basically makes him useless for several hours so he doesn't do it except in extreme situations. 

15. After their first night 'together' they realise the same thing "My brother/sister will never let me live this down." 

16. they make a truce that no matter how badly their relationship goes, not a single word is said to Stan or Angie. 

17. They say the above half way through a kiss and then continue to make out.

18. On Ford’s days off Lute makes an effort to stay home so that he and Ford can spend some time together. They mostly cuddle. 

19. Ford opens up to Lute and Lute just kind of holds Ford tightly and promises that if he meets any of the bastards who bullied Ford he’s drown them within an inch of their lives.

20. Ford appreciates the sentiment and doesn’t tell Lute off for threatening people for once.

21. Lute opens up about how he was bullied as a kid and how he was taught to deal with his anger in different ways. All of them being very wet forms of revenge.

22. Lute helps with the washing by removing the water from the clothes with his powers.

23. this water is then thrown at the nearest person to him. Normally Stan.

24. one time Ford used Lute to block his own water call. they ended up breaking a vase and Ford promised not to do that again.

25. Some other villain’s int he league of villains saw that Ford would often go to Angie’s house and thought he was a threat so they kidnap him to use as ransom against Stan. And ford’s a little stressed and beaten from the situation and accidentally summons Lute. 

26. Lute is not happy because: 

       A) he was in the middle of a really successful bank heist.        B) Ford just put their relationship in jeopordy        C) his secret boyfriend was beaten up pretty bad,         D) he has to explain to people who are supposed to be his colleges that                    kidnapping his soon to be brother-in-law was not cool 27. Ford spends the nest week apologising to Lute for almost ruining everything.

28. Lute tells him that it wasn’t his fault, if anything it was Stan’s for getting with Angie.

29. they agree not to tell anyone about the incident.

30. they compare villains and heroes and rank them on how good their butts look in their suits. “Okay so Mr. Marvellous might have nice arms, but his backside is as flat as an ironing board.”

31. Ford has multiple first aid kits around the house in case Lute comes home injured.

32. They both want the relationship to work but they doubt it will

@thelastspeecher @darfichihrenhundstreicheln

y’all wanted Flute head canons?

[arazialotis]

Hunters Academy - Introduction

Word Count: Around 2200

Summary: The reader is looking for a way forward in life. A cryptic business card may provide her with a new opportunity at an unconventional school.

This is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!

Special thanks and shout out to @misguidedconqueress for reviewing, editing, suggestions, and as always putting up with me.

—–

Your fingers eagerly tore through flimsy envelope, hoping your suspicion would be confirmed. Tossing the envelope aside, the single piece of paper crinkled in your hand as you read:

Your application appears to be promising. Make it to our location by September 31st and consider yourself accepted into the program. If you’re running late; don’t bother showing up at all. Good luck.

The letter was only signed with a black star surrounded by a circle of flames. The all too familiar mark of a hunter. Your mother made you wear a charm throughout your entire childhood. Even after her death when you were ten, you chose to wear it; the bracelet had become a part of you. It wasn’t until your 16th birthday you got it permanently tattooed on the side of your left rib cage. When your foster parents found out, they were furious. They never understood you though, nor your obsessive behaviors when it came to salt, holy water, and silver.

You were forced into psychological testing and tried your best to fake normalcy; to pretend everything was okay, to pretend the things that went bump in the night were just figments of the imagination. But your mom had raised you better. Instead of taking the prescribed pills, you just became better at hiding your secrets; convincing the world you had become cured. You had become so good at hiding you even convinced yourself… for a while.

It had seemed like just a phase. You went off to college to make your foster parents proud. But sophomore year was finishing up and you were running out of general education classes to take in order to avoid settling on a major. It wasn’t until you were spending a weekend back home, rummaging through storage, when you stumbled upon the box you had brought with you when you first arrived. You began pulling out memories; tattered gloves and a small scarf, wings you and your mom had made for a halloween costume, drawings of your mom fighting off monsters that probably were psychoanalyzed up the wazoo, and a small purse you used to collect key cards from your favorite hotels.

But what was most important was her journal. It was bound in brown leather, its corners and pages worn. You flipped open to the page bookmarked by your charm bracelet. Your fingers traced over the ink, almost being able to recall the sound of her scratching down details. She lived on through the words, still finding ways to speak to you. As you flipped through the pages, a plain white business card slipped out. On the front was simply printed “Academy” and the anti-possession symbol. On the back “Send Application” and a PO Box address in Nebraska.

You flipped the card back and forth, confused at the lack of information. You had never noticed it before even though you have flipped through the pages countless of times. Perhaps it was your mother speaking to you now and giving you a way forward. The idea stemming from your college applications, you decided to write an essay. This time including everything. Your mother, your upbringing, your malcontent for the white-picket-fence life, and overall desire to make an impact on the world.

And now, you were holding an acceptance letter. Well, half an acceptance, the full admittance on the condition of finding the school. The letter was just as cryptic as the business card. You picked up the envelope looking for more clues. Where the return address was, was a symbol you were unfamiliar with and it was posted from Kansas. You rubbed your eyes after hours of searching through the web, trying to identify this symbol. Even the established hunting community websites did not seem to have any information posted.

Grabbing another cup of coffee, you flipped through the journal again as it always seemed to have the answers you were searching for. Your attempt to turn on ‘The Wall’ in order to keep you awake was futile, eventually sleep won you over.

The next morning you awoke, filled with dreams of the academy slipping away. In the daze of waking consciousness, you reached to the journal to see where you had left off. In the corner of the page was the unknown symbol. You jolted up immediately. There was no explanation, simply the symbol and coordinates.

Looking up the coordinates, you easily pinpointed the location in Kansas, the nearest town Lebanon. Having no idea what you were in store for, you packed the only the basics into a duffel and walked out of your foster parents’ home with no intention of returning.

—

The drive was long, but you stayed focused with the help from classic rock and gas station snacks. As you drove through Lebanon, your ‘72 red Ford Mustang didn’t stick out as much as it usually did. It seemed things around here didn’t change very often. You stopped at a gas station to grab a map of the area, seeing which road would get you closest to the coordinates.

Having driven up and down a paved road a few times, you stopped at an unmarked dirt road and decided to see if it would lead to your destination. You slowed down as you approached what you could only described as an abandoned factory or warehouse. Leaving your car locked on the side road you went in for a closer look. The door had the same symbol from the letter and journal.

You didn’t let your nerves get the best of you, after knocking three times, you unlatched the door. Stepping in, you were surprised by the immediate drop into what looked like a scene straight out off Dr. Strangelove. A man with sandy brown hair and a bathrobe was making his way up the iron stairs.

“You’re early.” He grumbled.

“Better than late, I suppose.” You greeted him.

“Coffee?” He offered.

“Sounds wonderful.” You followed him through the war room and the library, and into an industrial sized kitchen. He poured both of you a fresh cup. “So, I am assuming I found the right place.”

“Mmhmm.” He mumbled through a sip. “But we weren’t expecting students for at least a few more days.”

A taller man, with long brown hair, walked through the kitchen. “Oh, hello?” He greeted you with surprise.

You shook his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, I’m Y/N by the way.”

“Sam Winchester. And my brother Dean.” He introduced both of them.

“Winchester? Any relation to a John?” You asked.

Both of them exchanged shocked glances. “Our father actually… you knew him?” Dean questioned.

“Yes. Well, not really I suppose… he and my mother hunted together when I was young. So I know him through her journal, not from actual memories.” You explained.

Sam furrowed his brow, analyzing your features. “You’re not Y/N Y/L/N?” Dean perked up from hearing your last name.

“Yes.” You confirmed.

Sam laughed out loud. “I don’t know if you would even remember this, but uh, we’d babysit you sometimes… you could have only been two or three at the time.”

“Yikes, hopefully not too many embarrassing stories you can throw in my face.” You gritted your teeth.

“Not at all,” Sam chuckled. “You were an easy kid and Dean was off at the arcade avoiding any work you caused.”

“Shut up.” Dean chastised. “Nah, I remember. You liked playing with my army guys except what usually started out as an epic battle always turned into house.” Dean snickered. Your cheeks turned red. “How is your mom anyways?”

“Oh um… she actually passed away when I was 10… Or at least I think that’s what happened.” You somberly revealed. “She never came back from a hunt. Cops found me at a motel and I’ve been in the foster care system ever since.”

“Oh Y/N, I am so sorry.” Sam sympathized.

“Yeah, I’ve had my ups and downs. The last family I’ve been with wasn’t too bad. Even let me stay with them after I aged out. Feeling a little bit guilty for ditching them.” You continued to confide.

“God, that must be tough. We lost our dad but just a few years back.” Dean admitted.

“I’m sorry to hear. From what my mom wrote about him, he seemed like a nice guy.”

“Ups and downs. But he left this place to us.” Dean answered.

“So did he run it?” You asked.

Both slightly chuckled. “No, I don’t think he stepped foot into this place since he was a kid.” Sam responded. “But his dad was part of it. It was an organization called the Men of Letters. They were focused more on the research and artifacts. But they opened their doors for young hunters to learn information and be better equipped.” “But it never carried on. A knight of Hell wiped out their entire faculty and it never reopened until we came around.” Dean continued. “So we run this every now and then when we need a break from hunting.”

“Initially we weren’t going to do it, just leave it as our home, but we decided it was better to be a support and resource to hunters, rather than them starting with no direction at all.” Sam added.

“How did you find us anyways?” Dean questioned.

“Like how I get all my answers, my mom’s journal. Your dad must have written the location down for her, maybe for like safe house or something. It came with a PO address too, since other things haven’t been working out, figured I’d give it a shot.” You explained. “Sorry, that probably wasn’t what you were going for, pretty intense screening process.”

“We want to ensure people know what they’re signing up for.” Sam said. “But you should have just explained who you were in your essay. We could have come and picked you up ourselves.”

“Okay, well, I didn’t want to let loose with all the juicy details in case it had just been set up as some elaborate prank…” You defended.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea. We could have some fun with that.” Dean pondered.

Sam immediately changed the subject. “So did you drive Y/N?”

“Oh yeah, got my baby out front.” You responded. Dean grunted, there was only one Baby.

“Why don’t you drive it around to the garage?” Sam suggested.

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed and left the room.

“What do you think?” Sam asked Dean.

“She’s got potential.” Dean thought.

You pulled into the garage, gaping at the amazing collection of antiques. You pulled into an empty parking space. The boys wandered over to take a look at your ride as you got out with your duffel bag.

“Okay, first lesson.” Dean started. “You can’t fit a body in this trunk.”

“Maybe not in one piece.” You winked at him. “So does your school come with a room or just a parking space?”

Dean and Sam led you through the bunker. “After seeing Sam’s pathetic excuse for a living space, you’ll be pleased to know, this is where the magic happens.” Dean opened his door.

You glanced around. It was surprisingly clean, plainly decorated aside from the weapons hanging on the wall, and you couldn’t help but desire to go through his record collection.

Dean shut the door and continued the tour. “This room and all down the hall this way are currently open.” You opened the door, it was basically the same layout as Dean’s. Sam piped up. “This is the only other bedroom with a private bathroom. There is a common space up on the left.”

“Well, that makes the decision easy.” You threw your duffel on the bed.

“In that case, make yourself comfortable. And if you ever need anything,” Dean knocked on the adjoining wall. “I’m right next door.”

As they walked out you overheard a soft slap and Sam lecturing Dean. “No sleeping with the students.”

“Dude, I know… that’s not what…” Dean defended.

A few days had passed and no other students had shown up. You got familiar with the routine and even made the boys breakfast on more than one occasion. Sam even let you start breaking into some of the books.

“So Y/N.” Dean entered the library. “A case came up for me and Sam. Since it is still a couple days until the 31st, we’re going to take it. If you wouldn’t mind holding down the fort?” “Okay. But what if students show up?” You questioned.

“Yeah, just welcome them in, show ‘em around, maybe make some more of those killer pancakes…” Dean suggested.

“Umm.. not that I’m not trustworthy… but isn’t this a lot of responsibility for a person you just met?” You contemplated.

“See, you saying that gives me all the trust I need.” He started to head out. “Also, the place is rigged with cameras… except the bedrooms… actually my bedroom is…”

“This isn’t just another one of your ‘screening tests’ is it?” You skeptically questioned.

“That would be a great idea. But no, it’s not. Call if anything comes up… and if we don’t come back… well, we usually do, so don’t worry.” Dean rambled. “Alright, see ya.”

“See ya.” You repeated back before being left alone in the bunker.

——

Part 1

Tags: 

Forever Tags: @nanie5 @sea040561 @crushing83 @mogaruke @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @ginamsmith @jotink78 @fallen-castiel @sup3r-pott3r-lock3d @dancingalone21

DeanxReader Tags: @akshi8278 @mywillfulwinchester @dainty-hibiscus @boxywrites @its-not-a-tulpa

[berjhawn]

Death Ever After - Part 1 - A True Hero

Warnings: Abusive families; Accidents; Death; blame game; etc

Pairings: Modern Marvel AU X Reader; Slight Richard X Reader; Bucky X Reader

Summary: Reader is a Childhood friends with the Barnes Children; Richard, Bucky, and Rebecca. A terrible accident occurs forcing the Reader to move in with her biological father. Years pass and destiny decides to play a joke on the reader. Chaos Ensues. 

(A/N) This is a Modern Marvel Alternate Universe. In this universe the Barnes parents, George and Winifred are still alive. I brought in Bucky’s comic canon sister Rebecca but added an older brother named Richard. Howard and Maria Stark are also still alive along with Jarvis. Some Characters may seem OOC at time but this is an alternate reality people, shit happens. I hope you all like it.

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Then –

“I never want you to come near her again!” Richard yells out at my stepfather as he cradles me in his arms. “It’s okay (Name), I got you.”

“I… I’m sorry,” I cry out into his chest as I grip tightly to his now torn shirt. How had things turned out this way? One minute I was doing the dishes, the next I was fighting for my life. My Stepfather, Earl, had been drinking heavily that night, like he always did, and like always all it took was one little thing to set him off. I was used to this kind of abuse though. Ever since my mother, Emily, died in a fire while rescuing a young Rebecca Barnes from its massive flames only five years earlier.

Since her death I was forced to stay with my Stepfather. He was set and determined to drain the Barnes family dry of as much money as he could for his pain and suffering. That alone made the Barnes family hate us. All of them except Rebecca and the oldest son Richard. Rebecca blamed herself for my mother’s death even though I knew it was an accident. Rebecca and I were the same age so I knew that when my mother heard that she was in the burning building she didn’t think twice about rescuing her.

Richard, was like the big brother I never had. He was always there when I needed him. When Earl would go into one of his drunken rages Richard always seemed to appear to save me. Like some superhero. I loved Richard. I wasn’t in love with him, but I loved him like he was the only one in this world that cared about me. Because he was.

Richard carried me over to his old single cab Ford pickup and easily slides me across the front seat before he climbs in beside me. I glance back at the house I had grown up in to see a bloody faced Earl standing on the front steps yelling at us to never come back. Richard had hit him hard. Then again, he had basically tackled him off me. Richard doesn’t even give Earl a second glance as he starts the old truck and throwing it in reverse backs out of the driveway throwing gravel everywhere as he shifts into drive and races away down the road. We spend the first few minutes in silence before he lets out a heavy sigh and says, “Are you alright?”

“I’m… fine…” I reply tears falling from my eyes.

“(Name), you don’t have to lie to me. I’m here for you remember.”

“I know, I-” I pause as I look out the passenger side window into the dark night. “Why do you save me?”

“What kind of question is that?” He asks his voice filled with confusion and anger.

“I’m not old enough to leave here, no matter what we do, I’ll still have to go back to him.” I say voicing the truth and I hear him sigh.

“You could always marry me.” He says and my eyes shoot to him.

“That’s not funny Richard, you’re like my brother.”

“It wouldn’t be a romantic marriage, it’d be a way out for you.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” I answer honestly as I think about all the ways Earl would use me if I took Richard up on his offer. His hand reaches across the seat and finding mine gives it a quick squeeze. Offering him a soft smile I slide across the seat and lean into his side as his free arm wraps protectively around my shoulders pulling me in close to his side. He gently places a kiss on my forehead before he turns his attention back to the road. “One day, I’ll get out of this place and be free of Earl completely.”

“I will be here to help me whenever you need it.”

“Okay superman.” I reply closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I wanna show you something,” He says as he turns his blinker on and after a few feet turns right onto a dirt road.

“Where are we going?” I ask sitting up straight next to him.

“When my brother and I were little we stumbled upon this place. It’s special. When the inevitable happens and you end up with Earl again, you can always come here. I’ll find you here and protect you.”

“But won’t Bucky get mad that you’re sharing this secret place with me? He doesn’t exactly like me.”

“He doesn’t have to like you. You’re my family now, I want to share this place with you.”

“But Richard-”

“No buts, just leave Bucky to me.” Richard says as offers me a bright smile. Shaking my head, I turn from him to look out the windshield. It was dark outside, eerily dark. I couldn’t help but feel a deep foreboding lingering in the air. I shake the feeling away and close my eyes. When the pickup comes to a complete stop I open my eyes and looking around cock an eyebrow at the scenery. “Don’t give me that look, this isn’t what I wanted to show you. It’s up there. We have to hike a few hundred feet or so, but trust me, it’s worth it.”

“You better not be lying.” I call out as he climbs out of the driver’s side shutting the door behind him. I blow out a breath of air before opening the passenger side door and climbing out walk up next to him. He quickly takes my hand in his and grips tightly as he leads me through the woods. After a few minutes we emerge into a vast empty prairie field and I feel my heart leap in my chest. It was beautiful. There were lightning bugs flying all around illuminating the prairie like little lanterns on the grass.

“You think this is pretty, just wait until day time. There are so many wildflowers, it’s like a scene from ‘The Wizard of Oz’.” Richard says pulling your attention from the fireflies to him. “You like it?”

“I do,” I reply gripping tightly to his hand.

“Ah I almost forgot.” He says reaching into his front jeans pocket.

“What are you doing?” I ask cocking an eyebrow at him.

“I want to give you something. Along with a promise.”

“Okay?”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you think I’m going to ask you to marry me again. I’ve already given up on that idea and thought of another one.”

“Oh?” I ask happy that he had given up on the hopeless joke of marrying me but confused as to what he was about to say.

“Here, this is for you.” He says pulling something out of his pocket and handing it to me. He places the trinket in my hand and then closes it so I can’t see what it is. “I’m giving you this as a promise. I’ve decided to take over my father’s company and I wanted you to be the first one I told.”

“Wasn’t that already decided since you’re the oldest?”

“No, not exactly. I had every intention of giving the company to Bucky and then going off to do what I wanted but I can’t leave you alone. When I become CEO, I’m gonna do everything in my power to separate you from Earl and keep him away from you so you can finally have a normal life. I’ll even help you find your real dad if you want too.”

“Richard, I can’t ask that of you. What about your dreams?”

“You being safe and free is my dream, at least it’s my new dream.” He says making me look down at our joined hands.

“What does this have to do with your promise?”

“I want you to hold on to it. For now, at least. When my promise is fulfilled, I want you to give it back.”

“Okay, what the hell is in my hand?” I ask suddenly becoming very worried. Richard pulls his hand away and I look down to see a little silver key sitting in the middle of my palm. “A key?” I ask curiosity filling my mind. “What does it go to?”

“Good question, too bad I won’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

“Richard, come on.” I plead but he shakes his head. Reaching up he pulls off his silver chain he always wore and then taking the key from me slips it on the chain and then latches the necklace around my neck.

“I want you to keep it safe for me.” He pauses looking down at it lying against my chest. “It unlocks my greatest secret.” I look him deep in his eyes mine filled with worry and confusion at his look but he quickly shakes his head and clearing his throat continues, “Anyway, keep it safe for me okay?”

“Okay,” I say reluctantly as I reach up and run my fingers along the stem of the key.

“Good, now let’s go home. You can stay with me tonight like you usually do.”

“You make it sound like I’m in your bed every night.” I say cocking an eyebrow at him judgingly.

“Aren’t you?” He clarifies and I open my mouth to argue only to shake my head and decide against arguing. “That’s what I thought. Come on, if my mom sees us like this she’ll have a heart attack.” He holds his hand out to me a bright smile filling his face.

“Okay,” I reply taking his hand letting him lead me back to the truck. Climbing inside he walks around to the driver’s side and quickly climbs in. Putting his seat belt on, he pats the center of the seat and I slide across to sit beside him.

“Seatbelt please.” He says and I nod as I slide the little safety belt across my waist and buckle it. “Alright, let’s go home.” He says turning the truck on and turning around quickly heads down the road to his house. I lean my head against his shoulder as Pearl Jams, ‘Last kiss’ fills the cab of the truck. I close my eyes and enjoy the music until I feel the truck jerk sideways before it rolls countless times into the ditch. I feel something warm flow down the side of my face and I look around my vision blurred.

“Rich?” I try to say but my words are just wheezes. I blink my eyes repeatedly as I try to focus on finding Richard. I reach out and find his hand hanging in midair. “Rich I can’t see you, are you okay?”

No reply.

Will Continue In - A New Life?