#stan decides to make extra loud noises in the kitchen or outside the door so ford wakes up and has time to present himself if he needs to

[gemallass]

Accidentally made a 1,198 words ficlet as a sequel of sorts to this post

Can you imagine that's how Stan finds out that Ford regresses? 🥺

Without waiting for a proper response to his knocking he barges into Stanford's room, after all, Stanley is a man on a mission right now: Making sure his very intelligent but also knucklehead of a brother doesn't miss on a proper meal, which, could end up in two different ways.

Case one, he has to wake him up. Or at the very least get him conscious enough that he can get a bearing of his surroundings, and, hopefully, not feed the floor too much of his food.

Stan doesn't care if Ford ends up falling asleep on the table while he cooks something up for the both of them. He doesn't care if Ford blinks one eye at a time and eats even slower, which delays the task of washing the dishes and has him counting the stains on the ceiling for the next hour. And he certainly doesn't care if he has to guide or even carry Ford back to his room when he, inevitably, ends up falling asleep at the table again.

So long as he's not starving and overeating later, anything is fair game.

Case two, he has to convince him to get away from his work, which is never easy. And after having had a few arguments over eating (turned) cold hard food, bringing the meal to said room and leaving him to it isn't an option anymore.

They both know hot meals are a privilege, why waste it?

But they also know that the habits that once helped you make it to another day are hard to get rid of.

Stanley also isn't balancing the plate on his lap, either, when there's a perfectly fine table in the kitchen. Thank you very much.

He complains, mostly to himself, no doubt, about how he can feel his stomach disintegrating due to not having put anything in it--never mind the fact that he merely woke up minutes ago--but stops abruptly when he's inches away from the end of the bed-couch. And with a hand still hovering above the covers, he finally takes in the scene before him.

His brother, the interdimensional criminal, certified badass, owner (and creator?) of a hundred spacey-looking guns and the man that went through hell at the hands of a yellow demon--who Stan also wishes he could turn into his personal punching bag to use until the end of times--and still got out alive, with most of his sense of self intact, even, was sleeping with a goddamned plushie of half his height.

And with a dark blue pacifier in his mouth.

Oh, he's so not letting dear ol' Sixer live this down any time soon. He rubs his hands together while a mischievous grin appears on his face at the mere thought of a few remarks and jokes he could do.

After all, Stanley is not going to miss the chance to expand his arsenal of things to tease Stanford with. I mean, c'mon, he looks utterly and completely adorable! What's Stan to do? Ignore it and break the sacred sibling's code? Blasphemy in its purest form, he says!

Plus, the guy looks pretty relaxed too, a whole change from the usual deal. And vulnerable, which, did also differ a bit from the usual.

Hm.

That last thought brings his previous scheming and snickering to a sudden halt. He takes a seat on a free spot on the couch, careful to not touch the sleeping man at his side, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to let the peaceful atmosphere continue. Maybe even keep it from being disrupted.

Yeah, he could do that.

Because at last, Ford hadn't woken up at the slightest sound, and started pacing as if he hadn't been asleep moments ago. At last, Ford didn't seem to be fighting for his life when he was supposed to be the most relaxed, according to normal people (and verified by his fellow nerds). At last, Stanford hadn't jumped out of bed and taken the stance of a threatened wild animal when his brother, his twin, Stanley, entered his space. Something that he seemed to have learned for survival purposes--which Stan can also relate to--and that he doesn't really fault him for, yet that it came with a price when people close to you were involved. Hurting them one way or another.

Which, speaking of, he isn't sure if Ford would take kindly to him knowing about... This... That he does.

Stanley doesn't think anything about it. Really. Specially since it seems to be so effective on helping Brainiac sleep for once. And it appears to be harmless, so, who cares? Not him, that's for sure. But, if Ford had wanted him to know, he would've spoken or at the very least mentioned it, right? Back on the boat, there were nights where they slept on the same bed due to old not-so-happy memories resurfacing, or even just nightmares involving either them or the other, and they could use the reassurance that everything was and is okay and also that the other was safe and relatively healthy (some habits did start to catch up with them and did not mix well with the old man problems. (Cursed be the nicotine manufacturers on Stan's case)).

Did Stanford need it then and there but abstained from it to not seem "weird" in his brother's eyes? Please! Stanley ran a business in Gravity Falls for 30 years, for Moses’ sake!

Surely he knows that the jokes he throws at him are just harmless banter and that he never means it as a genuine attack, right? He must know he wouldn't judge him for something like this, right? Jeez, Pointdexter, I wouldn't hit you so low. Stanley thinks. Not again, never again.

Were it not for the--quite painful--pang and literal growl of his stomach, Stanley would have continued studying his sleeping brother and thinking about how to approach the topic. If at all. But alas, he's needed somewhere else. Somewhere with fresh food. And maybe coffee.

As gently and slowly as he sat down, he gets up, but freezes mid-way through when the still figure decided to not-be-so-still anymore. His brain scrambles for a way to book it out of there without making a sound while his heart beats in his ears. Finally, when he sees that Ford was definitely still asleep, and that he also feels his soul come back to him, he gives the rest of his body permission to continue working as usual. His lungs being the first to get back into action with a big release of air and subsequently an intake.

He glances back at his brother with a soft smile one last time before deciding to take his leave.

Stanford can have his secrets. Stanley would make sure to guard and protect them (and him). Ford didn't have to know that Stan knew, if that's what he had wanted in the first place. Stanley could keep his mouth shut.

Besides, it wouldn't be lying if it was never brought up. Nothing for him to deny, so, Stan is on the clear here.

. . .

Hopefully.

[thevodkadidthis]

Bed Bugs.

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Actress!Reader

Warnings: NONE! Pure fluff, also implied sex (sorry, I can’t really write mature stuff so I’m just gonna leave it like that) note: the ones in Italic are flashback scenes, so it won’t confuse you as you read.

Word count: 3.1K

Summary: In which the director was given a green light at making a second film on Marvel, the casts were all excited and reader thinks this is where her career will surely grow! But then the huge tease with the name of Sebastian Stan kept getting on her way.

A/N: I know, I kind of ghosted this account for a while BUT I’M BACK?? And omg I miss writing for Seb and our Marvel bois so okay here goes nothing. ALSO, requests are open!! Hit me up with a prompt or something.

2 weeks before, you had a call with the director from Marvel and that he sound so excited over the phone call, delivering the news to you that a second part of the film is very much confirmed and that the shooting will start very soon. You felt excited as well, thinking you formed quite an easy and great friendship with the other casts and texts and FaceTime isn’t really enough, but you are all grown adults who are busy with other projects so both parties really understand the lack of communication.

Now, you’re getting your hair fixed as Anthony Mackie dances around the room and was quickly joined in by Chris Evans, showing you a bit of his skills in tap dancing. You couldn’t help but to laugh and shake your head, these people are older than you and yet you feel like you were babysitting them at some point.

“How do you have so much energy in the morning, Anthony?” a deep voice was suddenly heard from your back. You couldn’t exactly turn your head to check who it was so you simply stared at the reflection of the man in the mirror in front of you. It was Sebastian, of course, you didn’t really have to check, you knew what his voice sounds like wherever you hear it.

“I don’t know, man. I just feel like today is a great day. Don’t you feel it, Y/N? The sun’s shining bright and all.” Anthony replied and took a sip from his coffee cup.

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t know about you, Anthony, the sun shines brightly everyday.” You shot back and Evans uttered a quiet touche before sitting down.

Sebastian chuckled as well, and you couldn’t help but to check for his reaction on the vanity mirror. Unfortunately, he was also checking on your face on the mirror, which made you lock gazes with him for a short while. Cheeks flushed and palm sweating, you looked away.

The whole cast decided to celebrate the success of the first film by having a drink on the nearby bar, you came with them, of course and had fun despite of not drinking much because you knew to yourself that you can’t handle alcohol well. So you sat on the booth pretty much the whole night and only had two glasses of beer, it didn’t bother you though, the little chats and Anthony’s loud laugh was enough.

The time quickly passed and it was the moment that everyone should go home and take a rest. You bid them goodbye, and didn’t forget to thank them for making the night wonderful and that you had a good time with them, even making promises to keep in touch. You didn’t need a cab home since you live nearby and a short walk wouldn’t really hurt.

When you got in your place, you sighed quietly as you place your keys on the table next from the door and headed straight to the refrigerator because you felt dehydrated. Feeling hot and tensed, you decided to take a quick bath to get rid of the smell of alcohol on your body. After that, you slipped into a pair of pajamas and a loose t-shirt. For some reason, you didn’t feel sleepy, so you walked out of the room and went straight to the living room, hoping to watch some T.V. shows but you heard a loud noise right outside your door.

You dismissed it, thinking it was meant to be for your neighbor and maybe they just accidentally hit your door. But it made a loud thud again, you didn’t know if it was a faint knock or someone fell right on your doorstep. Panic surged in, thinking maybe it was a thief that has been trying to pick on your lock, you quickly grabbed a knife from the kitchen and checked on your door. You opened it for an inch, peeking on the other side of the wood to check if it was actually a burglar.

But to your surprise, it was the same man that was eyeing you all night from the bar.

Sebastian.

He looked… frustrated? Maybe it was the drink he had, or the tiredness, but he definitely looked pissed. He was about to smash his head on the door when he noticed your eyes on the side of the door.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N. I knocked on wrong doors, four times, since I didn’t really know where exactly you live.” He sighed and your mouth fell open, but you quickly recovered and opened the door wider to welcome him in.

“What are you even doing here? How did you even know where my building is-“

“I followed you, then I got lost for some reason, then I started knocking everywhere. I’m telling you, everywhere.“ he confessed, as you lead him to where the couch was and invited him to sit down with you.

“You know that’s kind of creepy, right? You should have called in first or sent a text, whatever.” You told him, checking his face and he definitely looked tired and tipsy.

He laughed to himself, “Yeah, I know right? Weird.” He brushed his right hand on his face.

“Do you want water or something?” you offered and he only nodded. When you came back in the living room, a glass of water in hand, he was already asleep on your couch. Mouth hanging open. You chuckled at his appearance before fixing his position into a much comfortable state. Then you picked out extra blankets and put it on top of him.

It all happened multiple times after the first encounter. Until one day, you ended up being naked, on your own bed, and on your side is a sleeping Sebastian Stan, unbothered with all his glory.

How can a man look so good while being asleep?

You didn’t talk about what happened, yet it did happen again, multiple times over. You were just scared to drop the bomb or to talk about the elephant in the room because you didn’t want him to disappear from your life. You overthink already that maybe sex was all he wanted and not the commitment so you kept your mouth shut.

The set director called out the cast that were supposed to shoot for the day, your hair and make-up is all done but you still asked for an extra minute to compose yourself. Everyone in the dressing room made their exit already, all except Sebastian.

“Hey.” He called out and you turned to him and stared, there was something about his eyes that you couldn’t lay a finger on, it was a kind of look you haven’t seen before.

“Hey to you too.” You replied, as casual as possible.

“You didn’t answer my texts.” He stared down, whether he started looking at the floor or his shoes, you didn’t know but he looked shy and maybe embarrassed?

“Oh,” you quickly thought of an excuse, you did got his texts, you just didn’t want to reply to them because it will be such a hard slap that you fell for him and he didn’t really feel the same way, “Yeah, I kind of changed my number for a while, but the old one is still with me, I just don’t use it anymore.. I uh, I’ll check it out when I get home.” You smiled sweetly to him and finally turned back to where the mirror is, to once again attempt to fix your appearance.

He sighed quietly and left the room. You finally exited the room and proceeded to where the other actors are.

The day ended quickly. A minute ago, you were finalizing the shots with the director and then he announced that it’s a wrap and that you’re all done for today. You wanted to go home and get a lot of sleep however, Anthony and Chris has other plans.

“I really can’t. I’m supposed to clean my place tonight.” You lied when Anthony invited you to come and have a drink with them.

“Come on, who cleans their room at night? That’s weird, you clean on either weekends or morning!” Evans butted in and convinced you even more to come with them, but you feel exhausted, and the fact that Sebastian’s also coming is no help at all.

You just gave them a smile before shaking your head, “Sorry guys, maybe next time? My treat.” You replied to them instead.

“You better!” Anthony said and then you bid your goodbye to them as they walk away.

After a bag of popcorn, cans of soda and about 8 episodes of a Netflix series, you turned the TV off and sighed to yourself.

Cleaning your place, huh? Nothing happened.

You stared at your phone and clicked on the messages that Sebastian sent, all of it were unopened, but now you finally took the time to read all of it.

Hey

Hello

Y/N?

Is everything okay?

I don’t know what happened but you stopped talking

Hey

“Idiot.” You can’t help but to whisper on your phone, as you were about to make a reply, you heard a knock on your door. Hesitating, your first thought is again, thinking it was a burglar but you knew better, only one person has the audacity to knock on your door at this hour.

You opened the door and it revealed a flustered Sebastian, with his hair disheveled and his arm is leaning on the door frame.

“You know what, I’m kind of hoping for a burglar.” You blurted out, like a whisper to yourself.

“What?”

“What?” you copied him. He looks drunk, so there was no point to say something meaningful and stuff because he will definitely forget about all of this tomorrow.

“Alright,” he brushed his hair back and swallowed, “okay before you say something, or kick me out—wait, I’m still outside, can I come in?” he looked genuinely surprised when he figured out that he’s still outside of your place, you tried not to laugh at his reaction.

“Yeah, of course.” You took a step aside and allowed him to enter, he sat on the couch and noticed the bag of chips, sodas and tissue on the center table.

He looked at you with a puzzled look, “This is how you clean? I mean, okay, cool, no judgments.” He pursed his lips and nodded at the surroundings, “You did a good job, this room is spotless.”

“Alright, what do you want now? If you want a place to crash just lay there and sleep, I’ll bring a blanket.” You offered, arms crossed on your chess. It felt like you were lecturing him on something.

“Wait, no.” he sighed again, as if he’s mentally preparing himself on something, it made you think as well, and you wanted to know what was running in his mind. “Before you say something, just.. hear me out. Give me a couple of minutes to explain and just let this out, 5 minutes would be fine.” He blurted out and tried to fix his composure while sitting down.

The look of seriousness that washed and took over his face made you sit down on the chair beside the couch as well. You weren’t prepared for this, in fact, you never really thought that this moment will come along. So many thoughts are taking over your mind: will it be over now? Is he finally telling you to cut ties? Is he seeing anyone?

He opened his mouth and your breath hitched, “I.. know I made a mistake for not clearing out the things that happened after, you know, THAT moment.” He emphasized, “I don’t know what came over me and what I was thinking, I literally feel like a fucking idiot for not explaining this to you earlier.” He exhaled shakily, “But fuck it, I’m doing it now. You see, a lot happened recently, you know, with the success of the movie, with the other projects we’re taking on, all that.”

You were about to speak but then he held his hand up to stop you, and then you closed your lips, “I really like you, Y/N. For real, I don’t know why it took a while for me to fucking say it. I always come here, to you, to tell you how my days went, because I enjoy being with you, so much. I enjoy your company, your sarcasm, your witty remarks and all that. I would really like to experience it again and longer this time, instead of just the sex.”

By this point, your mouth suddenly felt dry and every swallow felt like sand paper on your throat. Your eyes started to well up and then you ended up chuckling at his confession, “Wow.. you really are a fucking idiot.” You replied to him before making your way closer to him and landed on his lap, straddling him. “You don’t know how much you cleared my mind.”

“Wait, what?”

“I like you too, dumbass. So much.” No words are left to be said because before he could even ask further or to clarify what you said, your lips already crashed on his. The kiss was passionate, calm and slow unlike the ones you shared before, the hungry, rough and needy—not that you’re complaining, you’re fine with either way.

After doing the deed, you snuggled on his side and breathed his scent. Despite of the reek of the alcohol, his distinct smell was still there and you admit to yourself how much you missed this. How much you missed him.

“Hey.”

Your moment of peace was momentarily disrupted by him, “Hmm?” you answered him, feeling a wave of exhaust on your body.

“The things that I’ve said are all true, it’s not the alcohol. In case you’re wondering about it. I will remember this when I wake up.” He uttered.

You couldn’t see his face but you feel like his eyes are closed as his hands slowly caressed your hair and planted a soft kiss on your head.

“I know.”

You were supposed to attend on the set with Sebastian, but he needed to drop by on his place to shower because as much as he wanted to come with you, he doesn’t have clothes on your apartment. But he did promise you a lunch date later that day so you had something to look forward to during the day.

You were straightening your top when Anthony, of course with Chris, approached you. “Wow, Y/N. You look like you’re in a good mood today! It’s just, it’s radiating off of you, I wonder why.” You blushed at Anthony’s remark and wondered if he knows something. Maybe Sebastian told him something last night, when they were out for a drink.

“I’m always in a good mood, Anthony. What are you saying?” you replied to him and he only ended up giggling. Evans pointed out that you look pretty much the same to him, but Anthony still thinks there is something different about you.

“Seabass may or may have not spilled some news last night.” Anthony whispered to you and you ended up blushing even harder, “I almost knocked him out right there but instead, I urge him to come at your flat.” He winked and you smiled at him, without Anthony, you’re probably walking around glass flooring and eggshells right now, being careful around Sebastian.

“Speak of the devil.” Mackie announced, seeing Sebastian walking over and heading towards your way.

“You know what, Evans?” Anthony started again, facing Chris this time, “There must be some kind of rash going around people, do you think it’s perhaps, a communicable disease?” he said, Evans looked dumbfounded and genuinely clueless with what Anthony is saying.

“Rash? What rash?” Chris asked, you and Sebastian looked at Anthony, listening to what he is about to say because the rash topic came out of the blue. Sebastian stood quietly beside you and you feel his fingers brushing on your arm.

“See that bruise-looking rash on Sebastian’s neck?” Anthony tried to be as quiet as possible, even leaning towards Evans’ right ear but his words are heard from a distance. “It’s so weird because I have seen the same bruise on Y/N’s neck! But the ones on Y/N are much darker than Sebastian’s. Are you guys alright? Maybe, sick or something?” Anthony’s sarcastic remark and endless teasing has led you and Sebastian to cover your necks, at the same time, bearing the same crimson red cheeks as you try to laugh to hide the embarrassment.

“Mackie, one day I’ll kill you and no one will know.” Sebastian replied to him but Anthony ended up laughing louder, even holding his belly. Evans’ eyes are still squinted, trying to see the bruises on your neck and on Sebastian, when he finally landed on a conclusion.

His mouth made a perfect round shape, shocked at his own realization, “Oh, my god. You guys are…?” his trailed went off, but Sebastian ended up nodding on him.

“I fucking knew it. I knew there was something else behind those lingering gazes you both give to each other.. like, alright, the tension is there but damn.” Chris ended up shaking his head on the two of you.

Sebastian didn’t mind the teasing and Anthony’s additional comments as he planted a kiss on your forehead, tucking you in his arms.

“To answer the question, Anthony, no, we’re not sick. Just a bad case of bed bugs.” Sebastian told Anthony, even glancing on where you are standing, “A very cute bed bug though. The bites are painful but I kind of like it. Who knows? I might get another BAD case of bites tomorrow.” He teases you as well and you covered your face with your hand to hide the embarrassment and blush on your face.

“Thank God for make-up right? You can cover that up.” You told him as you walk towards where the set is.

Sebastian gave you a look and snickered at your comment, “Excuse me? Who told you that I plan to cover it up?”

[eddiesasspbrak]

When I’m With You Ch. 18

Eddie can’t stand the barista at his favorite coffee shop. Richie has fallen in love with the man he sees twice a week. Stan is dating someone but won’t let his friends meet them. Ben is in love with Beverly, but is so afraid of scaring her away he’s not moving forward. Chaotic friends navigating college together. 

(this is only half the chapter I’ll upload the second half as ch19 when it’s finished)

Ch. 1

Read on AO3

2k+ words

Eddie woke to a pounding in his head, the sunlight streaming through the windows stinging his eyes and making his head throb. He felt achy and for good reason. Richie was curled up beside him, his arm thrown over his chest, his legs tangled with Eddie’s beneath the covers. All of the events of the night before came flooding back. Monica, Bryce, Richie possibly breaking Bryce’s nose, going back to Eddie’s place and then…

He could practically still feel Richie inside of him and it made him shiver.

He certainly hadn’t been planning to lose his virginity the night before but a combinations of lowered inhibitions, his honor being defended in a show of masculinity Eddie had not yet seen from Richie and the way Richie could make him feel with the way he kissed and his hands…

Eddie felt too sick to let just the memory of his night with Richie get him all hot and bothered again. His streak of never being hung over had officially ended. He felt terrible and was sure that if he moved even an inch he’d puke all over the floor and he was not in the mood to clean up that mess. He was perfectly content to spend the rest of the morning lying beside Richie, curled up in his arms basking the fact that someone loved him. Maybe Richie would be in better shape and would be able to fetch water and aspirin from the kitchen.

It wasn’t until the pounding in his head became actual pounding from somewhere close by, that he forced himself to wiggle out from underneath Richie’s arm and drag himself to his feet. The pain in his head spiked as he moved to an upright position and his head spun for just a second, not long enough to make his stomach churn. Still, he walked carefully to the door, grabbing the hoodie he’d nabbed from Richie’s closet when he was there alone and his boxer briefs, stumbling as he stepped into them. Once out the hall he became very aware that the pounding was coming from his own front door.

He should have checked his phone. As far as he knew, his friends wouldn’t be coming over but if they had they surely would have texted first. Of course, he imagined they were all still asleep or nursing similar hangovers. He couldn’t quite remember how loud they’d been the night before, but he was certain he’d die if it was a neighbor coming to complain about the noise. Maybe it was the splitting headache, but the pounding definitely sounded angry.

Eddie wasn’t really sure what to do or say when he opened the door but he wasn’t feeling well and was honestly getting annoyed that his nice, sick, morning with Richie had been interrupted so he unlocked the door the threw it open more violently than he intended. His anger melted away as soon as he saw the very red face staring back at him.

“Mom.” His voice was laced with shock and maybe a bit of fear. He’d forgotten. How could he have forgotten that she was showing up to check on him? He smelled like alcohol and smoke. The remnants of fixing up Richie sat on the coffee table, the ice pack still on the couch. He was half naked, wearing Richie’s hoodie that smelled strongly of his cologne.

Richie…he was still naked in his bed blissfully unaware that Sonia Kaspbrak was there and likely to wander out without putting anything on. At the very least he hoped he’d slip his briefs back on. He could explain away a friend who’d slept over and chose to sleep in his briefs. He could not explain away a completely naked man his mother had never seen before stumbling out of his room.

“Finally! You knew I was arriving his morning Eddie, what were you doing that kept me waiting so long?” She didn’t wait for a response as she pushed past him.

“I was still in bed…” He closed the door quietly, trying to reduce any noise that might have woken Richie.

She whirled around to face him, abandoning her inspection of the mess on the table. “This late? You never sleep this late! You’re not sick are you?”

She was on him in seconds, holding his shoulder with one hand and pressing the back of her other hand to his forehead. He tried to pull from her hold, but her fingers were like a vice around his arm.

“I’m fine. I was just up late last night…” partying, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, watching my boyfriend punch out a guy I gave a hand job to a year ago and then letting him fuck me on the white sheets you bought for me… “studying.”

“You need to sleep at night and wake up early! I’ve told you that being a night owl is bad for you I don’t know how many times. I knew that letting you move out was a bad idea.”

“I’m fine. It was one night. I’m usually in bed by eight.” Less so since he’d started seeing Richie, but she didn’t need to know that.

“This place is a mess, Eddie. You stayed up late, slept late when you knew I was arriving today, and didn’t even cleanup for my visit. And what is that you’re wearing? It’s awfully ugly. Those two pandas almost appear to be a compromising position. Tell me you don’t wear that outside.”

“No mom. I don’t.” He would now.

“What about your pants? You aren’t supposed to sleep without pants, you’ll catch a cold!”

An escape paved its way in front of him. “You’re right. I’ll go grab some and change my shirt and we can go for breakfast.”

Before she could agree or argue, he was off down the hall, regretting the fast pace as soon as it hit his stomach and still throbbing head. Once in his room, he closed the door and flipped the lock behind him just in case she followed him in spouting “I used to change your diapers and give you baths! It’s nothing I haven’t seen!”

Richie was still asleep, spread out across the bed completely unaware of the panic that was taking over. Eddie crossed the room and sat on the bed on his knees, gently shaking his shoulder. “Hey, Rich, wake up.” He said in a low voice.

Richie began to stir, and a smile spread across his face while his arm snaked around Eddie’s waste. In a flash, he was on his back, pulling Eddie down on top of him. Eddie bit back the yelp of surprise that nearly left his lips.

“Good morning. Is this a sexy wake up call?” Richie asked, running a hand down his back and then back up underneath the hoodie.

“Not even a little bit and keep your voice down.”

Richie was fully awake now, reaching for his glasses on the side table and sliding them on. “Everything ok?” He asked when he could properly see Eddie’s face.

“My mom is here.”

“Oh…oh shit.”

“I forgot she was coming to visit, and she can’t see you in here. I’m going to take her out to breakfast so you can sneak out when we’ve gone.”

“Yea, ok. I can do that. I thought she likes to inspect every inch of your apartment.”

“She does but if I tell her I’m starving I think I can get her to wait until we return.” It crossed his mind that he really should shower first but he needed to get Richie out as soon as possible before she stubbled across him and freaked out.

“Ok. Shit. Can you like slam the door extra loud when you leave so I know you’re gone?”

‘’Yes, absolutely. Just wait like five minutes afterward to be sure.” Richie nodded and released Eddie, allowing him to roll off and sit beside him instead. “I’m sorry. I would tell her if I could. As soon as I’m not financially dependent on her I will. I promise.”

Richie leaned forward, cupping the back of Eddie’s head and pulling him into a chaste kiss. “I know. Don’t worry about it. Get going and I’ll be gone when you get back.”

Eddie leaned in for one more quick kiss before jumping up and dressing, dowsing himself in deodorant and cologne to mask anything else she might smell on him. He traded the hoodie for a sweater from his closet instructing Richie to leave it behind because it was his now. When he came back out, sliding through a small crack between the door and frame to hide the inside and then quickly closing it behind him, he found his mother going through his pantry and fridge like he’d known she would.

As quickly as he could, he ushered his mom out the door, slamming the door just a bit harder than he normally would. They walked to a nearby diner and had a fairly pleasant breakfast peppered with his mother criticizing his food choices and asking overly intrusive questions about his life no mother should ever ask. By the time they returned to the building he was exhausted. He hadn’t eaten much, the syrup-soaked pancakes and coffee slightly easing the headache but doing nothing for his stomach. He was sure Richie was out of his apartment by then and it was safe to enter so he didn’t attempt to stall. All he wanted was to sit on his couch and put his feet up, maybe nap while she tore apart his apartment looking for anything incriminating.

Sonia was still going on about how he was too thin because he didn’t eat enough when Eddie opened the front door to the building and nearly crashed face first into none other than Richie.

“Sorry…I…” Richie began, unsure what to say.

Eddie paused for too long weighing how he should act and the consequences of each. If he pretended not to know him he risked hurting Richie and he really didn’t think he could pull it off believably. If he let it be known that he knew him, his mother would immediately start judging him and asking questions and Eddie wasn’t sure he could take that. Needing to decide, he went for it despite a big part of him screaming not to. “Richie. Hi. Heading out?”

“Oh, uh, yea. Pharmacy. I’m out of aspirin.”

“Who’s this?” His mom asked on cue.

“This is Richie. He lives down the hall and goes the same school. We have some common friends.” He explained, trying not to be too specific on their personal relationship. “Richie, this is my mom.”

“Oh, wow, Ms. Kaspbrak, nice to meet you.” Richie was visibly flustered as he stuck a hand out to shake hers.

“It’s Mrs.” She sneered, taking hold of his hand with two fingers for a very short ‘I don’t want to touch you’ type shake. “My husband being dead does not stop me from being a wife.”

“Right, yea of course. Sorry.” Richie looked to Eddie with panic in his eyes. He hadn’t been expecting to meet her and definitely not this way.

Eddie wasn’t sure but he thought parents were supposed to meet your partner at a planned dinner or event. Maybe a holiday party or birthday party. Kind of like how he’d met Rose and Kara. Sure, it was kind of impromptu and they weren’t really Richie’s family, but they were close enough and Richie had taken him there with the knowledge they’d likely meet. They also weren’t like Eddie’s mom, judgmental and hateful toward anyone that he interacted with. No one was good enough in her eyes but in Eddie’s, they were all perfect. Especially Richie. The way she was treating him now made his stomach hurt from more than just the hangover.

Wanting to say something in Richie’s defense, Eddie searched his mind for the right words that wouldn’t anger her. “Richie works at my favorite coffee shop. He makes amazing coffee and bakes a lot of the treats they sell.” He was trying to talk him up and even though he really didn’t want her to know him, really didn’t want him exposed to her, he couldn’t fight that desire to have a normal experience of a parents meeting a partner. So, he let his heart win over his brain. “Maybe we could go there, and you can see for yourself!”

Richie’s face was a mask of shock and what Eddie could only assume was the fight or flight instinct working its way across his features. The café was supposed to be closed that day, but Bill had texted while he was at breakfast to say they had only closed for the morning and he had misunderstood. He and Mike had to drag themselves out of bed and try not to show how hungover they were. Richie wasn’t needed but he was sure Bill or Mike would have texted him as well. He felt for them, but it was an excuse to get his mom and Richie in a neutral zone where she wouldn’t (most likely) make a scene. Eddie turned to his mother, who was still sizing up Richie with a look of distaste. He knew her instinct was to say no, but he also knew how much she loved sweets and pastries.

“We just had coffee at breakfast.” She finally spoke.

“Only one cup and you didn’t finish yours.” He countered. Why he was pushing it instead of letting her say no, he wasn’t sure. His body had been taken over and the real Eddie was inside his mind berating him for being such an idiot and screaming to end this now. Take her back up to the apartment, let her inspect everything and she’ll leave in the morning! It could all be over quickly without incident but maybe Eddie was just desperate for his mother to approve of the man he loved. Maybe he was an idiot who thought she might change her ways if he tried hard enough to show her who Richie was and how good he was. “We can get it to go.” Was his final attempt.

Richie still stood silent, holding the door open, frozen in place and unsure of what to do. This was not what they had discussed. This was no supposed to happen and he felt blindsided. On the other hand, he also really wanted Eddie’s mom to like him because he had no intention of ending that relationship anytime soon. Of course, he also knew the way she treated Eddie and his friends and part of him hoped that Eddie would get up the nerve to stand up to her. He wanted Eddie to be happy and the anxiety she caused him was going to stand in the way. He had a good relationship with his own parents though they were far away now, and it was hard to visit. Then he’d found temporary replacement parents in the from of Rose and Kara. Eddie didn’t have that. All he had was Sonia and her constant judging of his life and choices. He’d heard already of her convincing Eddie he was always sick as a child. He wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, do anything, he was afraid to step out of line because who knew what she’d take away next. So, Richie couldn’t help hating her and fearing her. Hating her for the way she treated the love of his life and fearing what she’d do if she knew the truth about their relationship.

So, Richie made a choice. He straightened his back, head held high, pushing down the nausea that followed and he smiled. “I think that’s a great idea. I’ll treat.” He said clearly and maybe a bit too cheerfully.

With both boys staring at her expectantly and her desire for something sweet winning over, Sonia reluctantly agreed. Though she wouldn’t be happy about it.

[ectoplasmicbutton]

Ghostly Mysteries- Chapter 3

Danny didn't know how much time had passed, but over the course of that time he had met Stan (there was no way he was going to call him Grunkle), gotten to know more about the town, and was given freedom to roam the Mystery Shack—given he had some makeshift crutches that Stan keeps in the attic for some reason.

He wondered why he had never heard of Gravity Falls, seeing as the town had almost as much unnatural activity as Amity Park has. Maybe that was why he'd never heard of it; it seems more like a tourist attraction than anything else. Then again, so does Amity Park, and people rarely have heard of that place either. However, Amity has a way of broadcasting the fact that it's the 'Most Haunted Place in the World' to get more attention, however unwanted it may be. In Gravity Falls, the only place that seems to be trying to draw attention to the amount of paranormal attacks is the Mystery Shack. But the whole Shack, as far as Danny could tell, was the perfect place for a cheapskate to earn an extra dime (Danny could see why Stan liked it so much).

The place was absolutely riddled with fake merchandise and attractions. Danny didn't have to look closely to see the drips of elmers glue coming from the "beavercorn" or the "roostdeer". But, it's enough to satisfy customers, he supposed, and continued looking around.

So far, Danny had found two things that had interested him. One being a light blue t-shirt that said "I Survived The Gravities Fall" in a curly white font. He needed a new shirt seeing as his last t-shirt had gotten stained by blood snd ectoplasm. Wendy had seen this, and he had gotten to keep the (insanely overpriced) shirt.

The other thing he had noticed was the partly broken vending machine in the gift shop area of the Mystery Shack. He didn't know quite what it was, but it made his skin crawl and filled him with something akin to dread. Naturally, he decided to avoid it for now.

His wound was healing quickly, as did all of the cuts and bruises he had gotten from his hero duties. He had gotten it just mere hours ago, yet he was already able to walk and move almost freely without searing pain stabbing through his whole body. He was using his crutches less and less as the day went on, and near the end he found himself switching to only using one.

The sun had set a while ago, and looking at the time on his phone he found it was 10:08pm. Everyone had gone to bed around eight o'clock and he was supposed to be asleep as well. But—like all of the other nights since he had lost half of his life—Danny knew it would be useless to try and sleep, despite how tired he was. He looked at the window, gazing at his reflection. 

The bags under his eyes had gotten larger, and he was a lot paler than he was before. His hair was a mess and he needed a shower.

The teen sighed and shook his head, turning away from the window and setting his crutch by the couch he was occupying for the time being. Without anyone watching him, he didn't really need to put up the "I-need-this-because-my-very-normal-wound-prevents-me-from-walking-normally" act, and he walked—very normally, mind you— to the front door.

Phasing through the door to not make a noise, Danny went outside. Glancing around at his surroundings, he found himself in the middle of a forest.

The light of a half-moon shone down on the world, blanketing the forest in a soft pale glow. Shadows of the plant life whisked out to him enchantingly. If Danny looked closer, he could see small creatures whom he did not know scurrying around the bases of trees and bushes, fading in and out of sight as they bobbed through the ground. Fireflies danced in his vision, fighting the soft glow of the moon with their own vibrant touch. The trees were taller than even the totem pole, which reached about the height of the Shack's triangular roof.

The sky was the most beautiful.

With the lack of lights in this small, strange town, the sky had exploded with action. Purples and blues and whites had swirled through the night, showing off the colors Danny had never seen back at home. Stars had dazzled his vision, constellation after constellation revealing itself to him. He gazed up in awe of the sheer beauty of it.

Shaking himself out of his daze, he glanced around to see if anyone was around. Noting he was alone, he let the familiar white rings form around his middle.

A few seconds later, Danny Phantom was standing in the clearing of the Mystery Shack, his soft white aura and glowing green eyes lighting up the area around him more than the moon or stars could. He took off, feeling his legs fade away into a ghostly tail behind him. Smiling at the familiar feeling of freedom that soaring through the sky gave him, he sped up. Doing flips and tricks that gave him a feeling of adrenaline, he also mentally mapped out parts of the forest he came across. There were a few lakes, a stream, some small openings, even a few waterfalls here and there.

'Gravity Falls is really pretty', Danny decided, taking a few pictures here and there with his phone and sending them to his sister to let her know he was still alright.

He didn't get a response, but she was probably just asleep.

Finally, after a few hours of flying, Danny decided to go back to the Mystery Shack. He touched down a few feet away from the tree line of the building, ready to transform back into his human form when he heard the door to the Mystery Shack open.

Curious, Danny snuck behind a tree. Knowing his transformation gave off a light-show that would reveal himself to whoever was there, he decided against it. The half-ghost would just see who it was, then go back inside when they were gone. Of course, he couldn't help his surprise when he was the person leaving the Shack was Dipper.

Immediately upon seeing him, Danny was hit with a wave of caution, suspicion, and exhaustion at the same time. Dipper was carrying a small flashlight in his right hand and what looked like a book in his left. He looked to be in his pajamas, and the way he was rubbing his eyes and yawning gave off the fact that he probably just woke up.

Danny stayed hidden, activating a bit of his invisibility to emphasize that fact. But whatever flashlight Dipper had was clearly not an ordinary one. The light flickered as Dipper slowly scanned it around the yard, becoming brighter and more stable the closer Dipper pointed it to the direction of Danny. It was like a game of hot and cold; the minute Dipper started going in the wrong direction, the flashlight would start flickering and losing its light. When he pointed it in the direction of Danny, however, the light became a lot more strong and bright.

Danny, who had activated his invisibility completely this time, took a few steps away from the trees.

This would've helped, if he hadn't stepped on a pile of dry twigs and leaves which resulted in a loud SNAP.

Danny sighed, just his luck, and Dipper cautiously walked over to investigate.

—————————

Dipper woke up when he heard laughing from outside.

Unlike his twin, the past summer had taught him to be a light sleeper. Hearing laughing from outside at 1:26am was probably not a good sign. Sighing, the pre-teen rubbed his eyes, grabbed his journal and the weird flashlight he found the other day (also known as the "Find-Light" according to Mabel) and snuck down the stairs.

He still heard the laughing when he reached the kitchen, so he used that to make the Find-Light find whoever, or whatever, was making the noise.

Recording the sound for a second, the Find-Light sparked to life. It immediately shined towards the door of the Mystery Shack. Dipper cautiously slipped on shoes and a jacket before walking out.

It was a nice night out. The laughing had stopped a small moment ago, but Dipper couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched. He scanned the area with the light, straining his eyes to see anything beyond the darkness of the trees when... There!

He shivered.

Looking into the tree line, a pair of glowing green eyes peered at him from the shadows of the forest. Slowly, he started walking closer.

Suddenly, they disappeared.

Frowning, Dipper scratched his head in thought, before his flashlight started shining in a different direction. The pre-teen followed it, only for it to short out again.

It continued like this for a few minutes.

Then, all at once, the soft noises of the forest quieted, covering the clearing in silence. A sense of unease settled deep into Dippers stomach.

SNAP

The noise cut through the silence like a whip. Dipper yelped and whipped his head towards the noise. Slowly, cautiously approaching, holding his Find-Light out like a weapon and his journal like a shield, he brushed away the leaves and bushes leading into the dark forest.

What he found surprised him.

A boy (teenager?) gazed back at him. His hair was snow-white, matching his gloves and boots. His outfit was all black, made with some kind of form-fitting rubber. It seemed to be some kind of hazmat suit. However, it wasn't the clothes, or the hair, or the fact that he was right outside of the place where everyone Dipper knows and loves is sleeping (well—maybe it is a bit of that).

It was the fact that his eyes were glowing green, his whole body had some kind of unearthly aura that lit up the area around him, and—of course—the fact that he was floating a foot off the ground.

Dipper took a shaky step back, refusing to look away even as the Find-Light grew bright at the creatures presence.

"What are you?"

—————————

end chapt 3 :)

[thelastspeecher]

Okay okay, deaged Sally and Mearl spending an afternoon with Danny and Daisy while Ford desperately tries to find a solution (Angie would insist on watching over them and Sally would be like 'do you really think your own mother wouldn't be able to control herself for one afternoon?)

👶 - De-Aging

Bro.  What a prompt!  What a prompt!

Hope I managed to do this gem of a prompt justice.  Enjoy.

Send an emoji and one or more characters!

              “I’llwait to do my field work ‘til tomorrow,” Angie said.  Her mother frowned at her.

              “Do yathink yer mother can’t behave fer an afternoon?”

              “No, it’snot that, it’s just-”  Angie staredhelplessly at her mother.  This morning,both her parents were graying and wrinkled, excited to spend their visit spoilingtheir grandchildren.  But after anincident in Ford’s lab this morning, both had been reverted to eight yearsold.  “In yer current state-”

              “Sweetheart,we can take care of ourselves,” Mearl said calmly.  Angie anxiously tugged on a loose strand ofhair.  “Don’t do that.  Do ya want to go bald?”

              “Pa…”  Angie grimaced.  “Look, under normal circumstances I wouldn’tthink twice ‘bout leavin’, but Stan’s at work all day, and Fidds and Ford willbe workin’ in the basement on a cure, and the girls and Tate are here.”

              “Honey,we raised six children.  We can handlethree,” Sally said.

              “But youweren’t a child yourself then!” Angie burst out.  Sally raised an eyebrow at her.  “…Ma’am.”

              “Go towork,” Mearl said.  “We’ll be fine.  Even if somethin’ goes wrong, we can findFidds fer some help.”

              “But-”

              “Thisain’t up fer debate, Banjolina,” Mearl said firmly.  Angie glanced over at the play pen, wheretwo-year-old Danny and Daisy were happily playing with blocks.  “Go to work.”

              “Fine,”Angie sighed.  She picked her keys offthe table and left.  Once the front doorhad closed behind her, Mearl shook his head.

              “Goodness,that girl is stubborn.”  He glared at Sallyplayfully.  “I wonder where she pickedthat up.”  Sally laughed.

              “And thathusband of hers is just as bullheaded.  I’dwager good money that Danny and Daisy will be right terrors to deal with.”

              “In someways, they already are terrors,” Mearl replied. “Did ya hear Daisy kickin’ up that fuss this mornin’?  Took Stan upwards of half an hour to calm herdown.”

              “True.  But right now, they’re-”  Sally looked at the play pen.  She paled. “They’re gone.”

              “What?”  Mearl spun around.  He gaped at the empty play pen.  “They’re- how did they do that?!  It- it ain’t even knocked over or anything!  We didn’t hear ‘em make any noise.”  He began to tug at his hair.  “It’s like they just vanished!”

              “Calm down,love,” Sally said, pulling his hands away from his hair.  “They’re two. They can’t have gotten far.  We’vebeen in this rodeo ‘fore, ‘member?”

              “Right.  Right.” Mearl took a steadying breath.  “We’lljust look through the house, find ‘em, and bring ‘em back.  Easy peasy.”

              “Exactly.”  Sally set off for the kitchen, Mearl closebehind her.  “I can handle this room, if’nya want to check elsewhere,” she said as she opened a few cupboards.

              “All right,lambchop,” Mearl replied.  Sally hadfinished checking everything easily within her reach and was wondering if sheshould try climbing the counter for a better vantage when she heard a shout.  “Sally!” Sally immediately raced out of the kitchen towards the sound of herhusband’s voice.  She found him standinghelplessly by the back door, which was open. “The door was open.”

              “It-  Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Sally whispered. She closed her eyes.  “D’ya think-”

              “Youremember how Angie was as a lil one.  Sheslipped outside every chance she could. There’s no way at least one of her daughters isn’t the same way.”  Mearl swallowed.  “And if one of ‘em left, the other one had tofollow.”

              “So wedon’t have any other choice, then,” Sally said. Mearl looked at her.  “We have togo after ‘em.”  Mearl’s eyes widened.

              “Sally.  We can’t just leave without tellin’.”

              “Do yawant to let slip that we lost our granddaughters within five minutes of watchin’‘em?”

              “…No.”  Mearl grimaced.  “But I don’t know that it’s the wisest thingto do, lovely.  And we don’t have properclothes yet.”

              “Hmm.  Yer right, we can’t wander ‘round in oversizedshirts.”  Sally sat down on the floor,her chin in her hands.  Her gaze fellupon a plastic bag by the door.  “Mearl, what’sin there?”

              “I cancheck.”  Mearl looked in the plastic bag.  His eyes widened.  “Clothes. Clothes our size.”

              “It’s asign, then.  Providence!”

              “Uh, notreally,” a voice said from behind them. Sally and Mearl spun around.  Stanstood there, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  “More like, I dropped the bag tryin’ to catchDanny when she made a break for it,” Stan said.

              “Ithought you were workin’ today,” Sally said, cocking her head.

              “I wassupposed to, but I decided to just call in sick at the last minute.  I figured you guys would insist on Angie goin’into the forest to look for lizards-”

              “Salamanders,”Sally and Mearl corrected.

              “Yeahthat.  I figured you’d make her do that,and the nerds are downstairs whippin’ up a cure, and I know you guys can handleyourselves and the girls, but-”  Stanshrugged.  “Better safe than sorry.  They’ve figured out how to sneak out of theplay pen, after all.”

              “Where’dthey learn that?” Mearl asked.  Stansighed wearily.

              “Hell ifI know.”

              “None ofour kids could do that.”

              “Yeah.  All the more reason for me to help out a bit.”  Stan grinned weakly.  “And the nerds have a tendency to work throughmeals, so it’d probably be a good idea for someone tall to be around to grabthings outta reach in the kitchen.”

              “Fairenough,” Sally said after a moment.  Shestood up and placed her hands on her hips, glaring at Stan.  “Now, this whole incident wherein we thought welost our granddaughters-”

              “You didactually lose them,” Stan corrected.  “I justcaught ‘em before they could get far.” Sally’s glare hardened.  “…Ma’am.”

              “Like Isaid, the incident wherein we thought we lost our granddaughters stays betweenus.  Got it?”

              “Yes ma’am,”Stan mumbled.  He crossed his arms.  “How can you still do the stern mom thingwhen you’re a kid?”

              “It’s askill ya learn to cultivate once you’ve raised six children,” Mearlreplied.  He picked up the bag ofclothes.  “Now, if you’ll excuse us, weneed to change.”

              “Right.”  Stan turned to go back into the living roomand caught sight of Danny sneaking past him. “No you don’t, you sucker!”  Stanpicked her up.  Danny let out a loudwail.  “Close the door, will ya?  Otherwise, they’ll get out fer real.”

----- 

              “Green!”Daisy shouted, holding her hand out.  Mearllooked at the crayon he was holding.

              “Sweetie,this is red.”

              “Red,”Daisy corrected.  She opened and closedher hand.

              “If yawant it, ya have to ask fer it.  Ya knowhow to use yer words.  Use ‘em,” Mearlsaid.  Daisy pouted.

              “I wantit.”

              “Then ask,”Mearl replied patiently.  Daisy scrunchedup her face.  “I won’t hand it over ifyer rude ‘bout it.”

              “Can Ihave red, please?” Daisy asked finally, with an expression like she was suckingon a lemon.  Mearl beamed.

              “Ofcourse, dear.”  He handed the crayonover.  Daisy immediately began to scrawl inher coloring book.

              “Geez,that was slick,” Stan said.  He wasplaying cards with Tate at the table, within sight of where Sally and Mearlwere supervising Danny and Daisy coloring.

              “Well,when you’ve-”

              “-raisedsix kids, I know, I know,” Stan said.  “Still.”

              “If yawant, we could give ya some lessons,” Sally said.  Stan shook his head.

              “Nah, I’mfine just sorta stumbling my way through things.  Even if I don’t figure stuff out this time, I’llfigure it out in time for the next one.” Sally and Mearl’s heads whipped up.

              “Nextone?” Sally asked.  Stan quickly turnedhis attention back to his cards.  “Angie’snot-”

              “No, she’snot,” Stan said, still avoiding eye contact. “Just- uh, we’ve talked about it, that’s all.”  He grimaced. “And I wasn’t s’pposed to blab that we were talkin’ about it, so keep itbetween us, okay?”

              “But-”Sally started.

              “Sally,don’t pester ‘em.  You ‘member how bad myfolks got when we were havin’ kids,” Mearl said.  “Do ya want to put our daughter and son-in-lawthrough the same thing?”

              “…No.”  Sally turned her attention back toDanny.  “This is very nice, sweetie.”  Danny grinned at her.  “I know I’ve said it ‘fore, but she’s got yersmile, Stanley.”  Stan beamed.

              “Yeah.  Looks better on her, though.”

              “Whatexactly are ya playin’ with Tate, by the by?” Mearl piped up.  “Go fish?”

              “Texashold ‘em,” Stan replied.  “But we haven’treally gotten to playin’ yet.  Still workin’on teachin’ him the rules.”

              “Isteachin’ a child poker really a smart move?” Sally asked.  “I mean, Violynn and Harper insisted on doin’that with Angie, and she turned into quite the cardsharp.”

              “Exactly!”Stan enthused.  “Ya gotta start ‘emyoung.”  The front door opened.  Angie walked into the living room.  She did a double-take at the two extrachildren.

              “Who- oh.”  Angie grinned sheepishly.  “…Right. There was that thing this mornin’. The girls didn’t give ya any trouble, did they?”

              “Not onewhit,” Mearl said cheerfully.  “Absolutedarlin’s the whole time.”

              “Theydidn’t pull their disappearin’ act, did they? I forgot to tell ya ‘fore I left, but they figured out how to get out ofthe play pen.”  Angie pursed herlips.  “Don’t know why we bother keepin’it ‘round.”

              “We didn’thave any issues, junebug, don’t you worry,” Mearl said.  Angie sighed in relief.

              “Good.”  She looked over at Stan and Tate at the cardtable.  “Looks like Stan spent the daywith ya, so that would’ve helped, too.”

              “Any excuseto spend time with the girls,” Stan said. Angie propped one hand on her hip.

              “Are yatryin’ to teach Tate poker again?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Fidds won’tlike that.”

              “Like Icare,” Stan scoffed.  Daisy abandoned herpost by Mearl and toddled over to Angie. She grabbed Angie’s leg.

              “Cookie,Mama?” she chirped.  Angie looked at herwristwatch.

              “Well, itis snacktime.  Anyone else want a cookie?”she asked.  All heads in the room shotup.  Angie blinked.  “You too, Ma and Pa?”

              “Yerquite the cook, dear.  Can ya blame usfer wantin’ to partake of yer excellent food?” Sally asked.  Angie’s mouth quirked in a small smile.

              “‘Speciallywhen ya look like this,” she said.  Sallyand Mearl shrugged.  “Okay, cookies allaround.”

[kirawritesaboutevanstan]

Gross and stinky together

A/N: Hiya! I am desperately trying to write a series that has been haunting my mind for the last few weeks, but I just can't seem to get it right, so out of frustration, I decided to write this instead lol. Because I am a mess of a human being and I tend to procrastinate. I also realize that most of my fics so far take place on a bed and I am not even sorry about that. 

Summary: A heatwave has attacked New York, and you are struggling with dealing with it. I don't know how to write summaries. I suck.

Warnings: Mentions of sex and body parts, no actual smut. Just making out. Maybe a swear word or two. Too many commas and shitty grammar. Sorry. 

Word count: Around 2300. 

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader 

Interested in reading more of my stories? Well you can find more right here

My work is not to be posted on any other site without my consent, it might be garbage, but it's my garbage.

(Gif is because he is all sweaty but so hot. Okay, honestly I just wanted to add it, no other reason lol. I don't own it, credit to the owner.)

43° the thermometer reads. You groan and skip around your apartment trying to find a cool spot. There is a heat wave going on in New York at the moment, and you are not happy about it. Being a person who is forever boiling the heat is just too much for you to handle. You enter your living room and fall down on the couch. But the room is like a sauna, so you quickly leave the couch again. The leather seat sticks to your skin as you lift your butt of it, making a loud tearing sound. Not sexy at all. You grimace and gently rub your exposed butt. You quickly decided not to wear any pants  Ending up in a pair of deep red lingerie panties and a loose black t-shirt.

You shuffle into the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a drink. The cool air hitting your skin is so lovely you fall into a blissful trance. But it's interrupted by the loud beeping from the refrigerator complaining about being too hot. You grab a cold ice tea and close the fridge door. The refrigerator begins happily buzzing away cooling itself down again. “Selfish bastard” you mumble to the fridge, jealous of it being able to cool itself down and staying cool but not wanting to share it with you.

You shuffle into the office, but turn around instantly when you feel the even hotter air hitting your face. You groan out loud. “Why is this damn apartment so freaking hot?!” you complain out loud. Perhaps a cold shower will do the trick?

You march into the bathroom. Undressing, stepping in under the cold water. Moaning blissfully, your eye closing in content as the cooling water runs down your overheated body. You stand in there for a long time, before deciding it’s time to wash your hair. As lovely as this is, you have to get out at some point. You gently rub the shampoo into your scalp. You choose to use your cooling mint body wash as well. When you are all nice and clean, you step out of the shower, still feeling nice and relaxed. Thinking what a good idea this was.

Well, that is until you walk out of the bathroom and try to dry off. You dry off your body with the towel, but because it’s so hot, your skin just won't stay dry. Your own sweat mixing with the water from the shower. After a few minutes of frantically trying to dry off. You groan loud, a guttural groan and throw your arms up in frustration. The towel falls to the floor. And you fall down on the bed, face down and just lay there. Entirely and utterly naked, head first in the pillow. After a few moments, your lungs scream for air and turn your head to the side. You lay there, having given up altogether. Still, your skin keeps being moist.

20 minutes pass and your body are finally dry. But you know that if you dare to move, you will sweat again. So you just lay there.

You must have fallen asleep because you open your eyes the light outside isn't as bright as it was earlier, but still as hot. You got woken up by the door opening and closing. A voice calls out. It’s Sebastian, your boyfriend coming home from a day full of interviews.

‘’Y/N? You here?’’ You raise your head a little to yell out ‘’In the bedroom’’. You hear shuffling around and footsteps coming closer. You hear Sebastian’s voice outside the door says as he appears in the door. ‘’What are you doing in the bedr-?’’ He stops talking mid-sentence when he spots you on the bed.  Completely naked. His eyes are wide with surprise as he stares at you. Taking in the sight of your exposed body.

‘’Y/n, why are you naked? I mean, not that I am complaining. I love when you are naked, but I'm just wondering. Why?.’’ He chuckles as he stares at you, amusement and confusion on his beautiful face.

You turn around to face him, now resting on your back, as you lift up on your arms, you glare at him, brows squished together, a slight crease between them. ‘’It’s too hot! I can’t be anywhere without melting. I can't wear anything without it sticking to my skin. It’s boiling everywhere… The only place I can even stand being is in here. On our bed. Not moving and naked.’’ You complain as you make an exasperated sound as you fall back on the bed, spreading out your arms in a dramatic way to demonstrate your point. ‘’I'm dying Seb’’ you finish off theatrically, voice low and weak.

He laughs out loud at your exaggerated actions, his laughter booming in the room.   ‘’You are such a drama queen.’ He chuckles, as he looks at you and you glare at him. ‘’I am not a drama queen. It’s just too hot’’ you complain. He chuckles again, the sound makes a pack of butterflies flutter around your stomach. He walks over to the closet and starts to undress.

Your eyes follow his movements, studying his actions and body. He is wearing that green leather jacket you love on him. You do however wonder how he hasn't melted away in that thing. A black fitted t-shirt underneath, white pants and white socks. Seriously, how is he just fine with wearing that much clothing in this heat?

‘’How are you just fine wearing that?’’ You ask him, putting extra pressure on the word that, he turns his head to look at you. ‘’What do you mean? Do you not like my outfit?’’ He asks you, a little frown on his gorgeous face of his.

‘’I love your outfit. You look hot’’ You reassure him, and he grins at that. ‘’I’m just saying, it's boiling hot. I can't even wear clothes, how can you wear long pants AND a leather jacket? I mean, are you even human?’’ He laughs out loud again, and pulls off his shirt, grabbing the back off and pulling it off. The way only guys can do. God, it looks hot when he does that. You feel the butterflies again.

‘’You really are very dramatic..’’ He winks at you with a smirk on his face, and you inhale sharply. He heard that and only grins wider. His eyes squinting, nose wrinkling a little, teeth showing. He has the most amazing smile. You feel the heat rise on your face, damn it, please don't sweat face.

‘’The rooms I am interviewed in usually have air conditioning. And it’s always turned up too much. I didn't want to freeze, so I kept it on.’’ He explains as he pulls off his pants, his socks already gone.

You turn your head, looking up at the ceiling as you sigh. ‘’I wish we had air conditioning’’ You sigh, looking up at the ceiling dreamingly.

He crawls down on the bed next to you. You turn your head to look at him, your breathing stops when you notice his state. He is completely naked too. Your eyes grow wide as you stare at his exposed body. You must look like a deer caught in headlights as you stare at him. He is gorgeous. His chest broad and defined beautifully. Short dark hairs covering his chest, not having had to shave them off for a role in a while. Which made you happy, you happened to love his chest hair. His abs look to be cut in marble, hard as a rock, but his skin is always so soft. His arms are long and muscular. The veins raised slightly. His legs and thighs are long and thick, the muscles outlined perfectly. You can’t even describe his... manhood. You just can't stop staring at it as your mouth starts to water a little.

‘’Sweetheart, you are staring at me..’’ He whines, feeling a bit nervous at the intense look in your eyes as you take him in. Your eyes leave his manhood and lock with his steel blue ones, his cheeks flushed, as are yours. You have only lived together for two months but dated for about 2 years. Still, you can't get over how beautiful he truly is. You are always taken aback whenever you see him naked. His body has changed a lot over the years, mainly because of the various roles he has had, and you’ve enjoyed every single one of the changes. Whether it was when he bulked up for Civil War or slimmed down for Jeff in I, Tonya. You even liked the mustache he had rocked, you thought he looked hella cute with it. You were convinced that no matter how he changed his appearance you would still find him just as gorgeous.

‘’Sorry’’ You mutter, and he smiles at you, his cheeks still pink. You lean into him, your body moving to rest half on top of his chest. The lower half of your body nestled between his legs. Your breasts are on his chest. Your right-hand reaches to stroke his scruffy cheek, a light stubble covering his soft skin. You move your hand so that your palm rests on his cheek.  Your thumb just next to those glowing, icy blue eyes, that has a soft look in them. Your left hand resting on his pec. He moves his head closer to yours so that your faces are mere inches apart. You can feel his warm breath on your lips. His hand resting on your back, gently caressing your flushed skin. His other arm underneath his head.

‘’Hi pretty bird’’ He says, his voice soft. You smile at him as you just lay there looking into each other's eyes.

‘’Hi Bass. I’ve missed you’’ You whisper as his eyes look down at your lips. He makes a humming noise and leans in, finally closing the distance between your faces. Both of your eyes shut. His lips are warm as he presses them ever so softly against yours. His kiss is tender and so gentle.

The butterflies in your stomach are now having a full on rave down there. You kiss him back, a little bit more eagerly than his soft kiss. You can feel him smile at your eagerness. He learns his head back a little, his lips leaving you. You whine, and you shift your body, getting closer to him. You press your lips to his again, annoyed that he dared to remove them in the first place. He kisses you back, and this time his lips aren't as gentle. He hums against your lips, you can feel the vibrations on your lips. It sends a shiver down your body, he stops kissing you and moves his head back so that he can look at you.

‘’Are you cold?’’ He asks confused. Instead of replying you just kiss him hard. Not wanting to stop kissing him again.

He pulls you into his chest, realizing what you want. Your body now resting on top of his completely. You can feel every bit of him underneath you. His hands are on your hips, gripping your skin hard. You moan, when you feel his shaft twitch against your mound. He mimics your moan, as his hand grips your hips harder. Your tongues now playing with each other. You feel your body heating up again and internally curse the warm air again. You pull your lips away from him, and this time he whines and tries to kiss you again, but you just giggle and move your head further back. ''What's wrong?'' He asks, his eyes staring into yours but they keep shifting down to your lips.

'' It's too hot, I will start sweating again.''

''Who cares? Kiss me again'' He tries to lean in again, but you move away from him completely this time. Removing your body from his, he whines again and tries to grab you, but you have already jumped off the bed. He stares at you, eyes dark and his shaft leaning against his stomach.

''Come back to bed y/n, please. You have made me all worked up, and then you just leave me, 'S not fair sweetheart'' He tells you, and you smile at him.

''I can see that, but it's too hot to make out'' He huffs and jumps off the bed.

He walks over to you and grabs hold of you, you giggle and try to escape his grip, but you are powerless. He turns your body so that you are facing him, your bodies touching again.

''What's wrong?'' he cups your face, and you place your hands on his chest. You smile gently at him, and he cocks his head waiting for you to reply. ''I don't want to sweat on you... I would get all stinky and sweaty and gross. not very sexy.'' He scoffs and strokes your cheeks.

''Don't you be embarrassed about sweating. Let's go back to bed and continue what we were doing and not care about the sweat. We can be stinky and sweaty together. I don't care, all I care about is your body on mine. We can take a shower afterward, let's just go back to bed.''

You giggle at his words and kiss his mouth. He kisses you back instantly and holds onto your back. He takes steps forward, making you walk backward, and you feel the bed on the inside of your knees. He pushes you so that you fall on the bed and you gasp in surprise. He is on top of you instantly.  His mouth kisses you everywhere he can reach, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your flushed skin and you love it. He moves upwards, and his face stops just in front of yours. His blue eyes are almost black as he stares into yours.

''Lets gets all gross and stinky baby'' He says as he attacks your mouth and you just let him do whatever he wants with you. Until you, two indeed are a gross, stinky and sweaty bundle of limbs.

fin x 

Don't be shy to leave me feedback, even if its just incoherent noises. I will love you forever if you do x

[thelastspeecher]

Human Again

I’ve got some other things I’m planning on posting the next couple weeks, after I’m done with finals (got one left; tomorrow morning).  But here’s a couple scenes from the Phoenix Enchantment AU that I’ve written in between things recently.  It’s...pretty long.  Normally I post things more quickly, so they don’t build up like this did.  Fiddleford and Ford figure out who Prometheus and Pele are, and after some good news, the birds get some pretty upsetting news.  It starts immediately after Fiddleford and Ford get back from Pinatubo’s vet appointment.  Enjoy.

               Ford opened the front door.

               “That went much better than I expected,” he said cheerfully to Fiddleford. Fiddleford nodded.

               “Yessir.  Pele was on her best behavior, and was keepin’ Pinatubo calm just like we hoped she would.  We should give ‘em a big ole treat later.”

               “Agreed.  I- holy shit.”  Ford cut off his sentence upon seeing the destruction in the living room.  “What the hell happened?”  The hardwood floor was full of long scratches, cushions had been torn, and pieces of ripped paper were scattered everywhere.

               “Darn it, I should’ve known better ‘n to leave Prometheus loose,” Fiddleford muttered.  There was a small chirp from the carrier he was holding.  “Pele, yer mate messed up the house big time.”  Ford frowned at the scratches in the floor.

               “Those almost look like letters,” Ford said slowly.  He crossed over to the other side and gazed down. His eyes widened.  “They are letters.”

               “Prometheus can write?” Fiddleford asked, aghast.  He set down the carrier and joined Ford.  “Oh, my.  It looks like a message.”

               “It says…‘We’re really Stan and Angie, you assholes’,” Ford read aloud. He froze.  “But that’s-”  Pele began to screech from inside the carrier.  Fiddleford rushed back to the carrier to open it.  Pele stormed out and continued to squawk passionately, pacing back and forth, flapping her wings and bobbing her head in an approximation of gesticulating.  Ford and Fiddleford watched her tirade silently.  After a few minutes, she stopped, breathing heavily.  Fiddleford got down on his knees and stared at the phoenix.

               “Angie?” Fiddleford asked weakly.  Pele let out a small croak.  “Yer- yer a bird?”  She nodded.

               “That’s impossible,” Ford said.

               “This is Gravity Falls,” Fiddleford snapped.  “I doubt anything’s impossible here.”  His eyes widened.  “If- if Prometheus and Pele are Stan and Angie, then- then lil Pinatubo’s our niece! Stanford, we took our niece to the vet!”

               “Fiddleford, it’s quite possible Pele and Prometheus are just lashing out at us for taking their chick from them,” Ford said.  “They’re quite intelligent, after all, and have heard us talk about our missing siblings before.”  Pele squawked indignantly.

               “No, this is Angie,” Fiddleford said softly, looking at Pele again.  “I can see it in her eyes.”  Pele trilled at him.  “I’m so sorry, lil sis.  Let’s take ya back upstairs and get yer baby settled in.  Then we can discuss what to do.”  Pele nodded and walked back into the carrier.  Fiddleford closed the door.

               “Fiddleford, I still don’t completely believe-” Ford started.

               “Oh, hush,” Fiddleford said snippily.  He walked away.

----- 

               After reaching the attic landing, Fiddleford set the carrier on the floor and opened it.  Pele burst out, flying to Prometheus at the food stand and chirping at him busily. Fiddleford carefully placed Pinatubo in the nest.  He sighed.

               “I’m so sorry, Stan ‘n Angie,” he said in a low voice.  The phoenixes looked at him.  He turned away.  There was a flash of light and two loud thuds. Fiddleford spun around.  On the floor, dazed and fully nude, were Stan and Angie.  “What?!” Fiddleford yelped.  Stan stood up woozily.  He grabbed the nearby food stand for support.

               “Fuck, I feel weird,” Stan groaned in a voice that creaked from lack of use.  He looked at the food stand and gaped.  “Holy shit. Holy shit, I have fingers again!” Stan stretched out his hands, flexing his fingers.  “I won’t take ‘em for granted anymore.”  He looked down at Angie, who seemed more disoriented than him.  “Babe?”  Stan took Angie by the hand and pulled her up.  She abruptly slumped against him.  “You all right?”

               “Ugh, I feel like- like I have the world’s worst hangover,” Angie croaked.  Her eyes suddenly widened.  “Molly! We have to-”  She looked over at the nest, skipping over Fiddleford initially, but then looking back at him.  “Fidds!”

               “A- Angie?  Stan? Yer- yer-” Fiddleford stammered. He ran a hand through his hair. “I- oh, Lord, I’m so sorry, I-” He paused.  “Who’s Molly?”

               “Our daughter,” Stan said.  Fiddleford looked over at the nest.

               “That’s her name?”

               “Yeah.  Like we’d actually use the weird one Ford came up with,” Stan scoffed.  He looked at Angie.  “Think you can stand on your own?  I’ll grab Molly.”

               “I’ll be fine,” Angie mumbled.  She stood straighter, still wobbling slightly.  “Fidds, you have no clue how nice it is fer someone to understand us when we talk again.”

               “Oh, my poor baby sister, it must’ve been awful, so long bein’ birds,” Fiddleford whispered.

               “Pretty much,” Angie said with a weak grin.  Stan yelped.  Angie looked over at the nest.  “What’s wrong?”                “Molly, she-”  Stan turned around.  Instead of a small phoenix chick, he was holding a human infant.  Angie gaped.  “She turned human.”

               “Whatever made us turn back, it must’ve worked on her, too,” Angie whispered. Stan walked over to her. “Oh!  Look at her lil toes, and her lil fingers and- she has twelve fingers!”

               “That explains the extra talons,” Stan said.  He tickled Molly’s stomach.  She giggled, then began to fuss loudly.  “Dammit.  She never stops makin’ noise.”

               “Babies usually don’t,” Fiddleford said.  “No matter the species.”  Angie and Stan nodded silently.  “What happened?”

               “I don’t know,” Stan said.  He looked at Angie.  “Ang?”

               “Yer guess is as good as mine.”  She froze.  “Stanley.”

               “Yeah?”

               “We’re naked.”

               “So?”

               “Let me modify that.  We’re naked, and human,” Angie said.  Stan stared at her.  

               “Shit,” Stan said.  He looked at Fiddleford.  “Mind getting us some clothes?”  Fiddleford turned red; it hadn’t hit him until then that he’d been conversing with two completely naked adults.

               “Sure, sure, I’ll grab the two- three of ya somethin’.”

----- 

               Ford hurried into the kitchen.  Fiddleford was sitting at the table, playing with Molly’s hands.  Stan and Angie were nowhere to be found.

               “You didn’t call anyone yet, did you?” Ford asked Fiddleford.  Fiddleford shook his head.

               “No, sir.  We were ‘bout to, but Angie had to rush off to the bathroom.  She must’ve eaten somethin’ her stomach disagreed with.  Stan went to check on her.”  Fiddleford frowned.  “I guess after so long without eatin’ certain types of food, her body forgot how to digest it.”

               “That’s…not why,” Ford said in a low voice.  “I figured out what triggered their initial transformation.” Fiddleford’s face went pale.

               “Yer not usin’ a very upbeat tone.”

               “No.  I’m not.” Ford sat next to Fiddleford and set the bestiary he had brought in on the table.  He smiled weakly at Molly.  “Hello, Molly.”  Molly giggled.  “She seems to be in a better mood than she was before.”

               “The turnin’ human prob’ly discombobulated her,” Fiddleford said. “But she’s settled in a bit.  Got used to havin’ fingers ‘n toes.”

               “Just watch, in five minutes, she’s gonna start screamin’,” Stan said, walking into the kitchen, Angie close behind him.  He sat at the table and took Molly from Fiddleford.  “That’s how it works with ya, isn’t it, Rooster?”  Molly giggled again.  

               “Feelin’ better?” Fiddleford asked Angie.  She nodded and sat next to Stan.  “I wonder what ya ate.”

               “Did you have any dairy products?” Ford asked.  

               “I had some ice cream,” Angie said.  

               “That would be the cause of it,” Ford said.  Now bouncing Molly on one knee, Stan frowned at Ford.

               “What makes you so sure, Sixer?”

               “Because…”  Ford leaned forward and clasped his hands together.  He took a steadying breath.  “Your situation isn’t temporary.”

               “What do you mean?” Angie asked.

               “You’ll revert to your avian forms within 48 hours,” Ford mumbled reluctantly.  Stan stared silently at him.  Angie froze. “It- I found out what caused your initial transformation.  Apparently, in Gravity Falls, there’s an enchantment in place that selects humans to serve as the area’s breeding phoenix pair, should the current one leave.”

               “That’s fucked up,” Stan said after a moment.  

               “Yes.  It is. The enchantment allows for the breeding pair to adopt a human form every month during a full moon outside of mating season.”

               “It’s been a lot of full moons since we got enchanted,” Angie pointed out.

               “It was only after Fiddleford recognized you, that you could transform. That’s a component of the spell, but I’m not sure why.”  Ford ran a hand through his hair.  “Judging by the lunar calendar this month, you’ll only be in a human form until the sunrise after tomorrow’s.”

               “And then we’re birds again?” Angie whispered.

               “No.  The both of you are still birds, even now,” Ford said.  “You’re just in a human form.  Due to the enchantment, you’re no longer humans.  You’re phoenixes, no matter which form you take.”  Angie covered her mouth in horror, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

               “How do we fix it?” Fiddleford interjected.  Ford closed his eyes.

               “We can’t.  The enchantment was set in place by a higher planar being with magical abilities we can’t begin to comprehend.  Stan, Angie, I’m sorry.”

               “No,” Angie sobbed.  Stan put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed tightly.

               “Fiddleford and myself, we can arrange for whatever you want, regarding your human identities,” Ford said.  “And until you leave, we’ll do our best to make you comfortable in the attic.”

               “Unless we decide to live in the woods, we don’t have anywhere to go,” Stan whispered.  He swallowed. “We don’t have our place in San Diego anymore.  And even if we did, how- how would we pay the bills?  We can’t have jobs.”

               “Stay,” Fiddleford said suddenly.  Stan and Angie looked at him.  Fiddleford reached out and took a hold of one of Angie’s hands.  “You’ve already got a comfortable setup in the attic. We’ll take care of ya.”

               “Fidds, that’s- that’s mighty nice,” Angie said weakly.  “But I don’t think I can handle bein’ yer pet again.” She looked over at Molly, still being held by Stan, and choked back a sob.  “This mornin’, bein’ separated from Stan like that, by force and trickery, it’s- I can’t take it no more.”

               “Yeah, this morning sucked,” Stan said.  He stroked Molly’s head.  “You guys took Molly and Angie from me.  I knew you were comin’ back, but-”

               “If you stay with us, we won’t do that no more,” Fiddleford said.  “You wouldn’t be our pets.  Now we know who ya are, we’ll treat ya the right way.” Angie and Stan were silent. “We’ll give ya some time to think about it.”  Fiddleford stood up.  “Stanford, let’s go discuss how we’ll deal with Tate ‘n this mess.”

----- 

               Fiddleford walked into the bedroom he shared with Ford and closed the door.

               “I don’t think we should tell Tate,” Fiddleford said shortly.  Ford frowned at him.  “Look, he’s just a lil kid.  He could let it slip to someone, or he’d just get more confused.”

               “He deserves to know that the phoenixes are his relatives,” Ford insisted. “What’s going to happen when he gets older?  He’s going to treat his aunt, uncle, and cousins like pets.”

               “We’ll tell him not to do that.”

               “Fiddleford-”

               “Stanford, please.  The less of the Gravity Falls weirdness Tate’s exposed to, the better,” Fiddleford begged.  Ford sighed.

               “Fine.  But we’ll revisit this in a few years or so.  I don’t like keeping him in the dark, particularly given that the rest of your family will be told.”

               “Fair enough.  When he’s older, we’ll talk again.”  Fiddleford slumped against the door, his face pale.  “Stanford, I just- I can’t handle what we did to Stan ‘n Angie.  Examinin’ ‘em, takin’- takin’ ‘em to the vet, and the stunt we pulled this mornin’.  We- we effectively stole Stan’s wife and child from him.”

               “They aren’t married.”

               “Stanford.”

               “But I understand,” Ford said softly.  “I- I examined my twin and Angie, took notes on their…bedroom behavior.” His stomach abruptly plummeted. “Sweet Moses.  Fiddleford, I recorded my twin and your younger sister having sex.”  He dragged his hands down his face.  “I showed pictures of my niece being conceived to an auditorium full of students. A paper is going to published that has pornography of Stan and Angie.”

               “Oh, Lord.”  Fiddleford’s pale face turned green.  “We watched our siblings’ sex tape.”  There was a knock on the door.  Fiddleford took a step back.  Stan opened the door and poked his head in.

               “Hey, uh, if you’re done talkin’, we decided what to do.”

-----

               Ford and Fiddleford followed Stan into the living room.  Angie was sitting in the armchair, holding Molly closely. Stan walked to her and whispered something.  She smiled weakly, but her tight posture didn’t relax.

               “You decided on something?” Ford asked.  Angie nodded woodenly.

               “We’ll- we’ll take you up on that offer,” Stan said quietly.  He put a comforting arm around Angie’s shoulders. “We don’t- there’s not much else we can do.”

               “Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of ya,” Fiddleford said immediately. “You’ll get everything ya need.” Angie looked down at Molly in her arms, clearly fighting back tears.  Fiddleford took a step towards her.  “Banjey…”

               “Back off,” Stan snarled.  Fiddleford blanched.  Stan shook his head.  “Sorry, Fidds.  Our, uh, our instincts are runnin’ pretty high right now.  If either of ya get close to Angie or Molly, it’s- it’s not gonna end well.  Just so ya know.”

               “Instincts?” Fiddleford asked.  Stan nodded.

               “Turns out birds have strong ones.  Can’t fight ‘em off very well.”  Stan looked at Molly.  “We wouldn’t be parents if we could.”

               “Actually, I was curious about that,” Ford said.  

               “Figured,” Stan muttered.

               “So, during mating season, was the urge to copulate-”

               “Not now,” Angie snapped.  “We’re not goin’ to talk ‘bout that right now.  Maybe never.”  She took a breath.  “We- we have some guidelines we’d like ya to follow, when we’re stuck as- stuck as-” Angie cut herself off, her eyes filling with tears.  

               “We know we’re basically gonna be your roommates that don’t pay rent,” Stan said, “but no matter how cushy the setup you have for us is, we aren’t gonna stay if things keep happenin’ like they have been.”

               “Now that we know the truth, we wouldn’t dream of that,” Ford said. “What are your demands?”

               “Demands is a strong word,” Angie mumbled.  She shook her head.  “Don’t matter.  First off, get- get rid of all yer pictures of us…makin’ Molly.”

               “Of course,” Ford said.

               “Video too.”

               “Yes.”

               “Take down the camera you have upstairs,” Stan said.  Ford nodded.

               “No more vet visits,” Angie said quietly.  She held Molly a bit tighter.  A tear fell down her cheek.  “No more.”

               “Of cou-” Fiddleford started.

               “Wait,” Ford interrupted.  Stan and Angie stared at Ford.  “We can’t just have a blanket ban on the veterinarian.”  

               “Stanford!” Fiddleford hissed.  A low growl began to emanate from the back of Stan’s throat.

               “Stanley, please,” Ford said, holding his hands up placatingly.  “I understand you were upset by what happened this morning, but-”

               “Poindexter, you and Fidds trapped my girlfriend, stole my kid from her bed, and literally held me back from them,” Stan ground out.  “‘Upset’ isn’t even close.”

               “Clearly, the surprise vet visits will stop,” Ford said.  “But you’re in bird form for most of the time now. A human doctor won’t be able to make sure you’re healthy.  A human pediatrician won’t be able to tell you your children are developing properly. What if there’s an emergency when you and Angie are in bird form?  The ER can’t do anything for you.”

               “What’s yer suggestion?” Angie asked.

               “We find someone else.  Someone experienced with the magical creatures of Gravity Falls.  And we tell them right off the bat that you aren’t normal birds.  You’re sentient.”  Angie and Stan shared a look.  After a moment, Stan nodded.

               “Okay.”

               “We’ll concede to bein’ data fer yer research,” Angie said.  “But whenever ya want to examine Molly, one of us has to be there.  And the nonsense with invadin’ our privacy?  That’s done.” Angie glared at Ford. “Examinations can’t take our dignity no more.”

               “Fair enough,” Fiddleford said.

               “And we need to find a way fer us to communicate,” Angie said.  Fiddleford and Ford nodded.

               “Anything else?” Fiddleford asked.  Angie shook her head.

               “No.”

               “Not right now, at least,” Stan said.  

               “Glad we got some things settled,” Fiddleford said.  He smiled weakly at Angie.  She smiled hesitantly back.  Emboldened, Fiddleford took another step towards Angie.  Stan let out an audible hiss and grabbed Fiddleford’s wrist.

               “Fidds,” Stan growled.  “Just ‘cause we look calmed down doesn’t mean we are.  Do you remember what happened when you guys got close to the nest right after Molly was laid?”  Fiddleford nodded.  Stan’s eyes narrowed.  “Well, now I’m bigger than you.  Wanna roll those dice?”  Fiddleford paled.

               “Fidds, please,” Angie whispered.  “I know ya just want to comfort us.  But we can’t handle that right now.”

               “Okay, okay,” Fiddleford said, stepping back.  Stan and Angie visibly relaxed.  “Are ya up fer callin’ Ma ‘n Pa?”

               “No,” Angie said softly.  “But I don’t think I’ll ever be.”  She stood up. “At least they’ll be excited they’ve got such a cute lil granddaughter.”

               “The cutest granddaughter they’re ever gonna have,” Stan said proudly.

               “Cuter than any future daughters of yours?” Ford asked.  He shrugged.  “Well, we can always find out after next mating season.”

               “Don’t remind me,” Stan muttered.  “You’d think I’d like knockin’ boots 24/7.  But it’s not as fun as a bird.”

               “Why?” Ford asked, curious despite himself.

               “First off, it’s-” Stan started.  Fiddleford cleared his throat.  Stan and Ford looked at the McGuckets, who were wearing identical discomforted expressions.  “…I’ll tell you some other time.”