#stancest fankid

[halforresterluvsford]

Okay since some of you want to know about my Stancest fankid, I will rant about her!

First thing, I have like a billion different AUs within this AU, but I’ll probably only share two of them with y’all.

So, without further ado;

Her name is Hadley Celia Pines, her birth year depending on The AU, but for my original timelines, she’s born February 18, 1973, about 4-5 months after Stan gets kicked out. There’s no conclusive date of when Stan was kicked out, but I’m pretty sure the year was 1972 and given how most college admissions happen in the first semester, I'm putting Stan being kicked out in September/October of ‘72, when they’re 17. And yes, this is an mpreg kind of scenario. I haven’t decided whether this is ABO, trans!Stan, or a “men can get pregnant” kind of universe. But either way, she is the product of both Stan and Ford. Since Stan was only about 3 months or so months when he got kicked out, he didn’t know, being naturally a little chubby and all. It was only after a couple months on the street, he made it to New York, when his belly firmed up that he figured it out.

He was so terrified, scared of giving birth on the streets and dying, from his baby getting taken away from him, from everything that could happen to his baby. Thankfully, he was taken in by a kind older woman, a retired midwife named Celia. Stan stayed with her for two years before he and Hadley left, Celia’s apartment was too expensive and she was moving in with a nephew of hers. She offered for Stan and Hadley to come with her, but Stan declined, feeling a combination of insecure, pride, and the want to prove himself to his father. Of course Stan still stays in contact with Celia, his and Hadley visit her every year for the Holidays and Hadley’s birthday

Of course since he’s been a father since he was kicked out, he never got into too much trouble like in canon. He still had to chew his way out of a car and still had bad dealings with some drug lords, but he never went to jail or South America.

Ford still sends him a post card when things with Bill got too much to handle, and Stan still goes, but he’s more cautious with Hadley in toe. Ford’s more cautious too, seeing a little girl glaring at him from behind Stan threw him for a loop. Stan’s much less likely to fight Ford with their daughter-Ford unknowing-present, so he just pushes and pushes until Ford explains everything.

So Stan sticks around to help Ford, and eventually Fiddleford, defeat Bill, subverting Weirdmaggedon. Stan and Ford grow close again over that period, and Stan tells Ford he’s Hadley’s other dad and cue family bonding.

Now in one AU, the portal fight still happens and Fors goes through the portal for 30 years. In this one, Hadley, once Stan lets her, helps with the portal, but she also uses the lab for her own personal projects, like a prosthetic for when a lab explosion causes Stan to lose a leg. Dark I know but meh. And instead of Dipper and Mabel being Shermie’s grandkids, they’re Hadley’s kids, Ford and Stan’s grandkids, so they grew up knowing all the weirdness of the town and about Ford.

Some things that stay consistent through the billions of AUs

-Hadley has partial heterochromia, central to be exact.

-Stan and Hadley both sometimes go by Lee

-Because they’re both “Lee”, they made their own language, “Leenglish” where it’s just the “Lee” pronounced with different tones and lengths

-Hadley takes after both Stan and Ford a lot, Ford’s intelligence (times like 10) and Stan’s penchant for showmanship and conman abilities.

-she graduated high school and college early (think kind of like Spencer Reid), getting multiple degrees as kind of a “Fuck you” to Ford, proving that he’s not the smartest man in the world as he likes to think (her thoughts) many of these degrees being physics degrees to help with the portal

-At first, she honestly kind of hates Ford, hates how he hurt her dad, hates how he abandoned them him, and most importantly, she hates how similar she is to him. How she knows that sometimes Stan looks at her and just sees Ford, even though he’s never once compared them (he does not, Stan’s just always amazed at his wonderful daughter, these are Hadley’s issues taking front). Oh yeah, she has a lot of internalized self hatred issues that she projects onto Ford for the longest time. She also has his anger issues and ability to hold a grudge for the longest time. None of these are my personal feelings towards Ford, I love his character, but I tried to draw upon my own personal feelings on feeling abandoned by a parent

-Surpisingly chill with her dads being Incest Twins, but telling them to not be too affectionate and mushy in front of her because ew, those are her dads and also ew they’re old.

Sorry for the rambling post! I just tried to fit in as much as I could in a small enough post! Please let me know if you want to hear more about her and the multiple AUs I have of her!

[obsessioncest]

Stella Pines

(picrew link: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1469769)

my dearest darling girlie stella! now im gonna tell you all about her

she ran away from home when she was like. 4. there was a housefire it was a whole ordeal all that matters is she became feral at a Very Young Age

honestly not sure where she's from originally but i like to imagine its far as fuck from oregon bc that is so funny. florida girl travels across the entire continental united states in 5 years starting at age 4. obviously. also shes got florida vibes

when she was 6 ish she was in the Deep Woods and found a small forgotten graveyard that had One Singular Ghost. this One Singular Ghost happens to have been a feral child as well who went on to become an assassin in her adulthood. the One Singular Ghost (whos name is val thank you very much) sees herself in this child so she decides to PUT herself in this child. val kinda imbues her with her Ghost Essence which 1. fucks with her morality (assassin) 2. gives her a few skills that you would NOT expect a feral kid to know (assassin) and 3. makes her even more feral than she already was (feral Ghost Essence layered on top of an already feral child. feral squared. supernatural levels of feral.). val then fucks off into the Great Beyond since making a Ghost Curse is basically all she wanted to do and so now her unfinished business is done

this Ghost Curse also makes her. visibly not quite human. most people assume she's just albino and she lets them believe that but her hair is WHITE white. bone white almost. and she's fairly sure that albino humans have BLUE eyes, not red

with this newly acquired Ghost Curse our favorite Currently Nameless Feral Child is able to fuck around and find out all the way across the country much easier than she had been, and when she's 9, she finds herself in Gravity Falls.

she lives with the gnomes for a hot minute. they vibe. honestly might have stayed there if it wasn't for stan

stan! stan finds her in the woods one day when he's out doing stuff and he's like oh. That Is A Whole Child. well i can't just leave her here after several weeks of effort he manages to lure her into the mystery shack with promises of beef jerky. the plan WAS cps but its like the cat distribution system. once the creature is Within Your Home, they're yours now and you've just got to deal

finally he accepts that he has a daughter now and so he tries to figure out what her name is. he gives up on that pretty quick and just starts reading names from a baby name book until he finds one she won't bite him for

That Name Is Stella

after that he calls in a quick favor and is able to get fake documents officially saying that stella is His Biologically and her mother is just from vegas and she died don't look too much into it Just File The Paperwork Don't Make This Difficult

that gets worked out quickly. Gravity Falls doesn't like to ask questions.

stan TRIES to keep the portal stuff a secret but stella has an Assassin Ghost Curse and does not understand the concept of boundaries. after around 2 years she has ALL the details and keeps TRYING to help but stan keeps RUDELY keeping her out of the basement. finally shes like okay fine. see if i care. im going to help you whether you like it or not its just a matter of how hard you make it

she isnt very successful

eventually she becomes friends with wendy even though stella is 4 years older bc Gravity Falls is severely lacking in people her age

she's 19 when dipper and mabel arrive for the summer and does a lot of work in the gift shop or she's just kinda fucked off into the woods doing shit

when she ISNT working or fucked off doing shit she tends to hang with the twins and they both are able to tell that Something Isn't Right. at this point Gravity Falls is just used to it but dipper is concerned and figuring out her deal is definitely on his List Of Things To Do This Summer. mabel wants stella to teach her her ways

when ford finally comes out of the portal stellas initially excited because Thats Her Uncle/Dad's Crush! but then ford is an asshole and so stellas like oh okay fuck that then. Guard Dog Mode Activate.

she does lay off of ford after weirdmaggedon though and by the time ford and stan work out their Various Tensions she's fully onboard the Stancest Train

as soon as they get together she switches from calling him uncle ford to calling him pops. hes not the stepdad hes the dad that stepped up

fun facts!

she keeps in contact with the gnomes. they have bingo nights every other tuesday. This Is A Very Important Fact.

she has literally never told anybody what her life was like before stan. people dont ask too often because they all THINK she just lived in vegas with her mom but when people who know better than to believe that ask, she gives a different answer every. single. time. it's been 10 years so thats kinds of impressive tbh

dipper has made it his life mission to Figure Out Her Shit. it was kind of like "what the fuck" to "oh okay i'm starting to learn more, surely i will eventually find an answer here" to "what the fuck"

fords is the same way. dipper🤝ford = What The Fuck Is Happening Here Why Is Everybody Acting Like This Is Normal

EXCLUSIVELY dresses in red black and white. will wear literally nothing else.

has never once cut her hair and doesn't plan to ever start

If I Can't Have My Own Claws And Fangs Then I Shall Make Myself Pokey In Other Ways

that flower was a gift from mabel :)

[cravingpepsimax]

stella: i fuckin’ love tame impala, man. did you know that it’s just one guy?

sylvan: *checks ringing phone* wait, it’s kyber

sylvan: *answers* hello?

kyber: hey, what’s up?

sylvan: ...i don’t fuckin’ know, you called me?

stella: hey, kyber. do you listen to tame impala?

kyber: bro i’m just sooo litty off this fire zaza you gave me. i’m seeing colors and shit man

sylvan: i sold them an 8th of oregano

stella, blaring tame impala: LISTEN TO THIS FUCKIN’ SHIT

sylvan: stella, turn it d—

stella: KYBER, IF YOU HAD TO GUESS, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU THINK ARE IN THIS BAND

@obsessioncest @kyber-shack

[kyber-shack]

here are the chapter summaries from my stancest fankid fic on ao3 as well as some notes i made when i was writing it.

started june 19th, finished sept 5th. two and a half months, 35k words later and i've fleshed out just one lovechild's origins.

i would eventually want to make a fic on how Kyber's stan and ford(NB) actually lived their lives together, like an origin story. ford still going to BMU and meeting fidds but they live in an apartment with stan. they go to Oregon, ford sees the cave symbols and doesn't ever make a deal with bill. but they do want to do another project with fidds, so why not make a transdimensional metavortex for fun? ford accidentally falls in for a year before they find a way back, learning everything about bill after they accidentally run into him in the nightmare realm from other fords that they meet.

[side note: bill would be mad as hell that he couldn't convince the ford that had no idea about him to make a deal, makes a note in his head to rip their universe apart later when they think they're safe.]

this particular ford is intersex, so i imagine that they've asked doctors if they could have children one day and was told they were infertile. they would take the first opportunity they got in an alien hospital to see if they could fix that and they do. when they go back home, obviously they would sleep with stan the night they got back. ford would completely forget to mention it until weeks later when they start feeling nauseated. BOOM, pregnant ford.

[halforresterluvsford]

One of the darker AUs to my Stancest fankid Hadley AU is one where she’s the biological daughter of Ford and the one (1) fling he had at the one party he went to when he was around 19-20. He only slept with her because she looked so much like Stan (it was a shape shifting witch out for those pre-natals. Guess who she shape shifted into???). She gets dropped off on Ford’s door step in Gravity Falls when she’s about 2 or so, so right when Ford got there essentially.

So she’s a tantamount witness to everything going down with Bill. I like to think pre-Bill, Ford was a pretty okay single father, making sure she ate, slept, bathed, didn’t get hurt, etc. He does love her, but when he finds Bill and gets manipulated into all that, he does end up kind of neglecting her (at Bill’s behest lbr) and Hadley does make herself scarce when Ford starts letting Bill possess him, Bill would always verbally torment Hadley, which leads to her being both scared of and angry at Ford. Associating him with Bill rather than with being her father. When Fiddleford comes up to work on the Portal, he basically raises her until he leaves, though he still sees her around town and will talk and help her until his mind is gone. And after that, too, even though he can’t quite fully remember her.

She’s about 8 when things get really bad and Ford asks for Stan. What causes that to happen in this AU is Ford, in a state of paranoia and exhaustion induced delusions, gets startled when she walks into his office as he’s pulling a knife from him hands. She ends up with a scar going across her nose, under her left eye, down to the base of her ear. Ford is horrified by what he did, patching her up and sending Stan the post card.

He still ends up going through the portal, and Stan ends up raising Hadley, who starts calling him dad pretty soon. She knows he’s her Uncle, but he’s proven himself to take care of her better than Ford did in those last few years

-side note, identical twins will show up as potential paternal/maternal matches on a parentage test, so Hadley’s conclusion is “technically he’s always been her dad so why not”

She still graduates high school and college early with multiple degrees and helps Stan with the portal, and she’s still Dipper and Mabel’s mother, she just has more resentment towards Ford. Especially after she runs down to the basement after the 2012 portal activation to find Ford (not dad anymore) wrestling Stan (her dad for 30 years) to the ground. She gets even more resentful when Ford doesn’t recognize her at first, only when someone calls her name for the first time around him.

The angst of Hadley calling Stan “dad” and reminiscing on good times they’ve had. She’s vindictive and mean, she has Ford’s temper and grudge holding abilities after all.

I haven’t quite come to a conclusion on how they, not really make up, but agree to move forward together, maybe Hadley calling Ford “Father”, “Pa”, or “Pops”

[cravingpepsimax]

the angel on my shoulder: you don't need to know every single detail of your oc's appearance before writing the fic. you can go back and edit things.

the devil on my shoulder: he needs shitty ms paint concept art to live

[cravingpepsimax]

regarding my stancest fankid i’ve renamed him (his name’s sylvan now instead of simon) and i’ve done a personality overhaul. even tho i wanna keep stuff as surprises i do wanna talk some about his New And Improved personality

sylvan is a nervous wreck. he’s kind of like a deer — he’ll jump and hide away at the slightest noise that might mean danger but would also just stand in front of a car running towards him like 🧍‍♂️

…BUT he’s also the kind of person that does whatever he wants. and you might wonder how these two ideas are compatible, but it’s really fairly simple.

sylvan doesn’t want to get in trouble at all. but sylvan is also very determined. so, he sneaks. a lot. you’ll tell him to do something, and he’ll go “ok” while plotting a million different ways to not do that thing.

what certainly doesn’t help is that sylvan finds comfort in knowing. if he gets even a WHIFF of a secret he is going to put all his energy into finding out what that secret is.

interestingly, i think ford would be the more overprotective one. stan knows that kids need to be kids to develop, and, sure, sylvan’s persistence can be annoying, but it’s better than him being scared all the time. ford, on the other hand? ford often ends up reducing people to archetypes, including those closest to him — not necessarily on purpose, it’s just how he thinks. and i wouldn’t be surprised if, with sylvan’s deerlike anxiety + ford’s paternal instincts, ford would see sylvan as The Victim. someone he has to Protect. it’s not because he sees sylvan as lesser, quite the opposite — that’s his son. he wants his son to be safe.

this causes what i’m calling a Mental Illness Feedback Loop where ford hides stuff from sylvan because it’s dangerous and he doesn’t want sylvan to get hurt, sylvan finds out that ford’s hiding something, he spends a bunch of time trying to figure out what ford’s doing, ford spends a bunch of time trying to hide it better, sylvan eventually figures it out, ford learns how he figured it out and learns how to hide it even better

although this initially wasn’t a game, i think that it’s sort of become a form of enrichment for both, and — even when ford realizes “oh wait hold on nope i’m doing the ‘thinking fictional archetypes apply to real people’ thing again” — they’d still do it. they’re smart people that like cracking codes and getting answers, including the chase to get those answers. it’s like a puzzle for both of them!

as their secret-hiding-and-finding gets more intense and game-y, stan gets more confused. he finds ford late in the night working on a cipher that he’s SURE sylvan won’t be able to crack. stan is even more baffled than when he overhears their ddamd games. he is surrounded by NERDS

[cravingpepsimax]

WAIT hold on i love this ???

Thoughts on the twins being stancest children

i LOVE me a good fic/au where the twins are their kids, adopted or biological (somehow). it’s very very cute

[cravingpepsimax]

i think it’s really funny that pretty much every stancest fankid i’ve seen is not a twin. we said “alright no more of that”

[cravingpepsimax]

would you like to hear about by stancest fankid bc she's gnawing on the bars of her enclosure right now and i can tell you're in a mood. jk im telling you anyways because i dont have a stancest sideblog

her name is stella pines and TECHNICALLY she's not related to either of them. and fords technically her stepdad. she ran away from home and was a feral forest child until stan was able to lure her into the mystery shack with beef jerkey. she also got Ghost Cursed but she doesn't talk about that :) Ghost Curse makes her basically albino but she just rolls with it. she's goth now. hell yeah. (Ghost Curse does more shit but that would be a whole other essay that im too tired to write rn. tldr; shes a lot more animalistic and feral and morally dubious than most people. ford has almost an aneurysm when he meets her bc Ghost Curse.)

stan found her when she was 9, around 10 years before the events of Gravity Falls. he Does Not Know where she came from and she Will Not Share. he named her stella because she didnt tell him what her name was prior to The Forest and so he went down a list of baby names until he found one she didn't bite him over. he's still not sure if it was her name or not (it wasnt)

stan explained her to gravity falls by just saying that he hooked up with a lady in vegas on a trip a while back and now the kids staying with him. This Is My Daughter. Put That DNA Test Away.

she figured out stan was lying about something pretty quick and by the time she was 11, she knew (basically) everything. she really really wanted to help but stan shooed her out every time she tried because "it's dangerous" and "you could get hurt" and "it's a lot of math, you'll probably get bored" and stellas just like "dad. i have disemboweled and devoured something thing that i'm only half sure was an animal using only my teeth when i was five years old. Let Me Into The Math Dungeons." and stans like "no"

she helps out in the mystery shack instead because SOMEBODY won't let her chew on wires in the basement. mabel thinks she's the shit. dipper is concerned.

when fords back shes just like "HEY uncle ford ive heard SO MUCH about you" *winkwink nudgenudge KISS HIM DAD*. when stan and ford tell her theyre dating shes like "about fucking time. do you wanna be pops or something or are you still uncle ford. youre pops now actually ive decided. anyways im crashing at wendys for the night i sure do hope you dont get this large house all to yourselves for the night with nobody to bother you when you do stuff. would be a real shame."

she has bingo nights with the gnomes every other tuesday. They Let Her Use Their Tunnels. this comes in handy.

OMG YES YES YES YESSS I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHH

one of the names for sylvan i considered was actually stellan WKAKSKSMSM

she means everything to me already . a DUBIOUS little creature getting up to MISCHIEF this is no good …

i feel like sylvan would have such a siblinglike relationship with her. they are bickering constantly but they are besties. somethin’ to do with them being feral and morally dubious. they would totally be gravity falls newest cryptids.

stella: oh, yeah, forgot to tell you: i’ve got a ghoooost cuurse *wiggles her fingers spookily* that’s where i get my white hair from!

sylvan: wish i had powers from my albinism. i’m just blind and can’t go out in the sun

stella, nodding: like a vampire.

sylvan: *raises a brow*

stella: ‘cause, you know, the sun… and… bats…

sylvan: not only are bats not blind, their eyesight is great.

stella: *rolls her eyes* ugh. remind me to never try to cheer you up again.

anon if you don’t make a stancest blog i am going to Attack you . with Hammers . i need to Communicate With You

[cravingpepsimax]

i need to stop making stancest fankids . but i dont want to.

[cravingpepsimax]

I love all the Stancest fankids. Might make a long fic about mine (Hadley)

OOOO YUS YUS YUS

i also love all the stancest kids. its sooo interestin to see what people come up w !!!! theyre already so parentcoded w their niblings so this is the next logical step

[cravingpepsimax]

thought i might as well post my stancest fankid LMAO. his name is simon pines and he answers the age-old question: what if the nerd emoji was alive and was the WORLD'S MOST COLOSSAL SARCASTIC ASSHOLE. he's cool tho i love him. he's 12 years old and has seen everything

note: his pupils are red cuz albinism, but his irises are more of a pink/blue color, depending on the light source

MXPQBYFK

[cravingpepsimax]

i like to imagine that every stancest fankid is in one big interdimensional group chat

[cravingpepsimax]

keep making stancest fankids until you can recreate that full page art from don't dimension it!

DAMN you're RIGHT........... okay fiiiine i guess i WILL finish the design for my most recent stancest fankid

meet anastasia "stasia" pines! she's from a universe where ford shot stan w a crossbow and then frankenstein'd him back to life. we've all see those. after he comes back to life, stan and ford start to travel the world, we know thiford got REALLY into the whole "creating life" thing which ultimately culminated in him frankensteining him and his brusband's daughter!

considering ford was creating a Whole New Entity instead of reviving a specific person, this resulted in some neat side effects:

dead people stuff! sure, yeah, she's got the regular zombie stuff, but she's got some Fun Extra Stuff too. her hair's red bc when you die your hair gets red, she has some pretty bad cataracts bc that's what happens to your eyes when you die.... etc

alien limb syndrome: paranormal edition! when stan was revived, his soul ended up taking over all the dead people that were attached to him, because he already had an established identity. anastasia didn't, so her soul kinda... grew around them? so, now, sometimes her limbs just Do Stuff. she can talk to spirits and shit it's awesome

gills! not a dead person thing, just ford committing crimes against god. they do live on a boat that's understandable

stasia's a cool gal. she's pretty deadpan, but not in the way sylvan is, she's more like... dave strider. she's deadpan bc it's funniest. though she is VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT DEATH! to a concerning extent! she doesn't just accept death as a part of life, she actively thinks death is a good thing, and if she didn't have strong feelings on being in charge of your own body while you're alive (ironic, i know), she'd probably be a serial killer. unfortunately, most people don't want to die.

the only person with more hubris than ford is his daughter. she has a fascination with Forbidden Science -- actually, she hates the idea that anything's Forbidden at all! considering her dad's portal project he shut down bc of the dangers, i'm sure this will end up having Zero Consequences in the long term.

also, stasia likes fashion. didn't know where to put this so i'm putting it here.

she's very, VERY stubborn. she gets her mind set on something, and she Locks The Fuck In. doesn't matter what it is. she's also a risktaker -- she's already dead, she doesn't care.

also stasia legally doesn't exist she has 0 legal papers she is 100% off the grid and she LIKES THAT

[cravingpepsimax]

Ooooo what about the Scot’s for young stan twins? Like teen and 30s?

OUUU okay so actually most of my stancest fankids are 30s stan and ford bc like . if they’re old why would they hve children. that seems like a terrible idea. theyre gonna die before that kid’s 35th birthday WKAKSKSMSM

…however i DO have an old man stancest nextgen! her name is ava and she was — i shit you not — brought by stork. stan and ford stop by germany while sailing and spot a member of the species of stork that gives babies. ford captures the stork, stan unwraps the stork baby sling, and oh Yup that is . Definitely an infant whose father is one of them. (turns out the father is both of them WJAJSJ)

NOW. FOR THE TEENS. i did suggest mariana (+ some traits of hers) for @fakeusernamelol ‘s teen dads au!!! she isn’t rlly my fankid but i do watch her from a distance like leela’s parents in futurama . like Yesss that is my Girl … i Love her…

it IS true i haven’t made a teen stankid myself tho . mostly cuz 1. 30s and old man stancest have always been my preference and 2. more importantly, i couldn’t figure out how the kid would like. Exist. if i made one of them trans i’d have to make them fem presenting bc it’s like the 60s-70s and frankly being forced in the closet and then being impregnated sounds like my worst fucking nightmare

…tho. i COULD do cass and sandy. give them a child. but then i have to think about how they’d have sex and in my mind cass is 1000% a bottom she doesn’t wanna get touched down there at all so i’m not entirely sure how that’d even happen. does she like. cum on the bed and then sandy sits on it bare coochie ? listen i need my gay incest fankids to be logical first and foremost,