#basically it was just a smaller version of gene WHICH IS WHAT THEY DID FOR LOUISE TOO AND IT LOOKED GOOD!!!!!!!

[br1ghtestlight]

obsessed w/ how many attempts they've made at redesigning gene's younger design over the years to make him look less uncanny and how they failed every single time. he's so fucking ugly. I don't even take any of these designs as canon Bcuz they keep doing my boy DIRTY. soo ugly

[sabrinatvband]

A Simple and Incomplete History of Comic Rough Layouts Before Computers

I made a previous post here [Warning: NSFW] that briefly discussed doing rough layouts for comics. I mentioned that doing rough layouts has become increasingly common over time, and that it wasn't very common in the past.

[This picture has nothing to do with layouts; I just needed something before the page break.]

[Note: Apparently Ed Piskor is a massive creep. This was not public knowledge when I wrote this post, and so apologies for all the references to Cartoonist Kayfabe.]

I also included a link to a great Cartoonist Kayfabe video [embed below] on layouts which included a few examples. I believe the oldest example in the video was some roughs done by Harvey Kurtzman in the 50s.

Anyways, this introduction is getting a little gnarly and inelegant . . . but I'm basically going to repeat myself again, for everyone who isn't looking at the old post, but with a lot more detail and elaboration.

In the past, it was less common than it is today for artists to do rough versions of a page before making their final version. Most artists did everything "on the board" as they went along for a variety of reasons, the biggest one being a lack of time.

Back when residuals and sales bonuses didn't exist in the comics field [up until some point in the 80s], most professional artists were drawing at least two 20~ page comics a month. Prolific artists like Jack Kirby did even more than that, and most artists who worked for Marvel or DC couldn't make a living doing only one book.

Guys working at DC, and most other comic places, worked using "full scripts". Which is to say, basically a screenplay, but for making comics. Since most DC books used conventional and strict grids, and all of the pacing had already been worked out by the writer, there wasn't much reason for a confident journeyman to do any layouts.

The guys at Marvel, who worked using the "Marvel Method", basically had to plot the stories themselves off of a simple, often verbal synopsis of what the plot would be. [If it sounds like the comic artists also basically wrote the comics themselves, you'd be correct.]

Some comic artists were natural intuitive storytellers, like Jack Kirby. Others, like Gene Colan, had trouble pacing their work. The stories would flow just fine initially, and would then conclude with a few 12~ panel pages as the issue started to reach an end. Even Jack Kirby, when ending his Madbomb Captain America opus, had a few awkward overstuffed final pages to wrap things up.

[From Marvel: Five Fabulous Decades of the World's Greatest Comics. Image source. Upscaled for readability by me.]

These Marvel artists probably wished that they could do rough layouts in advance, but the aforementioned time restrictions usually prevented that. John Romita Sr. produced the thumbnails above for Savage Tales #1, published in 1971. Romita Sr. was an artist with a notably clean look to his work; he eventually became the art director of Marvel. Just for fun, I've included a side-by-side layout/finished page comparison below.

Going into the 80s, some smaller independent publishers like Eclipse and Pacific started to emerge that let comic artists own all of their work, get the bulk of profits on their books, and receive residuals. In response, Marvel and DC started to give residuals to artists [but obviously not ownership over any new characters they created].

I believe it was at this point that it became a lot more common for comic artists to devote more time to roughs, because this is also when it became more common for an artist to only do one book a month. This is simple and reductive math, but basically, 30~ days to draw 20~ pages.

I mentioned Harvey Kurtzman as a guy who was doing layouts in the 50s, and it's not a coincidence he seems to have been a particularly early guy to do them. Kurtzman was very valued by EC Comics, and subsequently Playboy Magazine, and so he was paid a lot to write comics in layout form, mostly for other artists to do the final artwork on. Here are two examples of his layouts:

Scott McCloud was doing intense layouts back in the 80s with Zot!. He describes his layout process as being excessive, but it honestly doesn't look too far removed from what a lot of artists do these days.

[From Tips From Top Cartoonists by Eclipse Books. Photo credit TotalEclipse. Upscaled for readability by me.]

In the illustration below [from Understanding Comics, an essential text] we can see that Scott McCloud kept a two-page layout above his drafting table on a clipboard. I've seen other comic artists do this in a handful of old photographs; I imagine that somebody at the Marvel or DC offices came up with this and it spread throughout the industry, much like Wally Wood's 22 Panels That Always Work.

The 22 Panels were a tool that, for a time, was taped to an upper corner of every comic artist's drafting table in America. This allowed artists to draw by the seat of their pants with a little more style. The 22 Panels aren't super relevant here, but Wally Wood was doing layouts in the 60s for Daredevil. It's possible he started doing layouts because he worked from Kurtzman layouts back in his Entertaining Comics days. It's also possible that he hated doing revisions, and made these layouts to get an all-clear from Stan Lee before starting his work [Wood inked and pencilled].

[Image source]

I particularly like this rough / final comparison because there are some notable differences between them. Wood realized that having the final panel part of a three column row didn't give it enough space, and so he shifted around the preceding four compositions, one of which was discarded and replaced entirely.

May as well earn the "Mature: Sexual Themes" rating I've given this post. Here's a later rough / final comparison Wood did for a porno comic.

[Image source]

Don Simpson was doing layouts as far back as the early 90s, and presumably much earlier. As noted in the image below, the initial sketches were done on 8.5" x 11" sheets and enlarged to bristol board size [more on this momentarily.]

Don Simpson has a lot of great information about his working methods on King Kong on his blog; here are two especially relevant posts [warning: some NSFW stuff] Link 1 Link 2

Artists were able to enlarge their work back in the day using a photocopier, something that I had assumed wasn't possible to do with consumer equipment before computers existed.

[image source]

I assume that the percentage needed to enlarge a full 8.5" x 11" page to bristol board size was always the same, but for enlarging random isolated sketches for implementation in a comic a proportional scale could be used.. From what I've gathered, it was very common for comic artists to draw complex perspective stuff at a smaller size and then basically trace an enlarged version for the final comic. [For the unaware, it takes a lot of space to draw 2 or 3 point perspective stuff that doesn't look noticably distorted.]

As I've been watching Cartoonist Kayfabe and their "artist edition" videos lately, I've been discovering that artists had ways of working around the limitations of drawing without layers back in the day.

The relevant stuff in this video is the amount of alterations he did to his art as he went along [there were many creative differences with inker Klaus Janson], stuff he seems to have lightboxed or photocopied off of drawings done on scraps of paper, etc.

Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns had a creative process about as labor intensive and fastidious as you'd expect, considering the 4x4 grids used throughout the book. Miller claims that he illustrated about 100 pages of rough material for every 48 pages of TDKR, and that he cut out individual panels and presumably pasted them onto a page of "master rough bristol board", which he then possibly lightboxed or merely referred to while drawing [possibly using a setup similar to the one Scott McCloud had above his own drafting table].

[Text from Comics Interview #31. Image source, upscaled for readability as usual.]

The trade I own of TDKR says that the first two issues were full-scripted, and Miller did the last two issues using detailed synopses he wrote. When this is considered in conjunction with Miller's comments above, some questions are raised [he was in the middle of issue three when doing the interview above.]

It's possible that the full script included further refinements that weren't in the rough layouts, acting as a penultimate draft. It's also possible that the full script was created mostly for dialogue-related additions.

Below is the first page of a "Marvel Method" style text breakdown Miller used in some capacity for the last issue of TDKR. Unlike the Stan Lee Marvel method approach, which usually consisted of a brief verbal prompt or a few sentences of text, Miller provided himself with a very comprehensive document [I often wonder what guys like Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway gave their writers]. I do wonder if this was meant for editors moreso than Miller himself, and I wonder when he made this document during the creative process; he includes some sketches of Batman that look nothing like the Batman that would appear in the final book. [Certain elements of this document notably deviate from the finished story.]

You're probably wondering why I have such a fascination with this stuff. A big part of it is that I'm a comic artist myself, and so any kind of process stuff is very interesting to me. It's inspiring and frequently educational, because the solutions that old masters used often still have some relevance today. Any modern comic artist who doesn't know what creators did back in the day attempting to do everything "on the board" directly is going to have some trouble.

The other reason is that I think the iterative creative approach a lot of newer comics use is what makes them more enjoyable to read than a lot of manga, but that's a discussion for another time.

Anyways, to hopefully end things on an interesting note, here's a rough from an old comic I never finished. Every panel was drawn seperately on sketchbook paper, photographed, and the final layout was assembled in software.

[duhragonball]

What version of the Saiyan Tuffle War do you prefer: the Tufflew subjugated the Saiyans or the Saiyans just straight up obliterated the Tuffles

Between the two options, I think I prefer the first one, simply because all the Tuffle characters we've seen have been diabolical villains, and it sort of undermines them as bad guys if the Tuffles were innocent victims in the war. But that's just a personal preference.

I'm not suggesting that the Saiyans were all sweetness and light either. But it seems a little naive to have an advanced civilization just welcome a bunch of Saiyans onto their planet with no ulterior motives.

I say this because most of what we know about the Tuffles is based on Baby's appearances in Dragon Ball GT. Supposedly, Baby was created by the last survivors of the Tuffles, and they "infused" him with the genes of their king, whatever that means. Baby only had two objectives: to take revenge on the Saiyans, and to to convert or destroy all non-Tuffle life forms. And that's... pretty fucked up when you stop and think about it. Baby was such an over-the-top villain in GT that it was easy to just go along with whatever crazy shenanigans he was up to. But he was programmed by the Tuffles, and presumably the Tuffle King was totally on board with this. If he had lived to see Baby Vegeta ruling over the restored Tuffle Planet with the entire population of Earth infected with his nasty mind control eggs, the King would probably be pleased.

And yeah, the Tuffles would want revenge against the Saiyans, but what did Earth ever do to them? Or any of the other planets Baby menaced? You can make the argument that Baby was a doomsday weapon that went beyond the intentions of his creators, but I think he did exactly what the Tuffles wanted him to do.

And that begs the question: If Baby's reign of terror was the last gasp of the dying Tuffle species, then what sort of weird stuff were they up to before? I'll put some thoughts on this under the cut.

First off, I think it's kind of weird how there's not a clear picture of what a Tuffle is exactly. I went looking on the DB Wiki for some pictures and found this Tuffle design by Akira Toriyama.

That design prevailed in DBZ Episode 20, and also in Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans, when King Kai explains how the Tuffles welcomed the Saiyans to settle on their planet when they crashed there in a wrecked spaceship. The implication from Plan is that the Saiyans didn't just show up one day. They were refugees who needed help, and the Tuffles invited them with open arms.

But it's weird how the Tuffles in DBZ #20 are depicted as being much smaller than the Saiyans, but in Plan they're basically to scale with each other. Maybe that's a continuity glitch, and no big deal, but then you have Dr. Lychee, who looks like this:

He starts out as a regular-looking guy, and then he becomes this blue creature who looks a lot like a prototype for Baby. The blue form is supposed to be nothing more than one of the phantoms created by Hatchiyack in the OAV, like the phantom incarnations of Frieza, Turles, Cooler, and Slug. But those phantoms looked the same as the originals. Why does Lychee look so different? Is this a form that Tuffles can naturally assume?

Which brings me to Baby and his "Tuffle Parasites". By the end of his run in GT, Baby basically identified as a Tuffle, rather than a creation of the Tuffles. When he started infecting Earthlings with his eggs, he called them Tuffles too.

Then you've got Kamin and Oren from Super Dragon Ball Heroes. Apparently they're considered "Neo Machine Mutants", which are Tuffles modified become like Baby, for lack of a better explanation. I'm not sure if this was established in the DBGT days or not, but I guess the current lore is that Baby, Oren, and Kamin were natural Tuffles who were augmented into the form we see here.

I guess what I'm driving at here is that the Tuffles seem to have a very broad definition of what a Tuffle is. For them, it seems to be more about a way of thinking and feeling than any particular appearance or body plan. A machine can be a Tuffle. An Earthling infested with a parasite can be a Tuffle. So maybe those miniature humanoids in DBZ #20 were just one more variety of Tuffle.

I get a real transhumanist vibe from the Tuffles, particularly from the notion of archiving their King's DNA into Baby, and the way Dr. Lychee continued to exist as a "Ghost Warrior" after his natural death. Oh, and the Tuffles of Universe 6 augmented Kamin and Oren. That wasn't for revenge, by the way, they just wanted to see if they could do it, and apparently Kamin and Oren were outraged enough by this that they turned on their creators. Throughout the Dragon Ball franchise, the Tuffles are known for their advanced scientific knowledge, and also for making all these freaky creatures.

And maybe they weren't all evil. I wouldn't go that far. But I get the feeling that their leaders welcomed the Saiyans to their world because they saw a potential resource that they could exploit. Maybe they just wanted the Saiyans to pacify the uninhabited parts of their planet, or maybe they though the Saiyans could help them against other enemies. But maybe they saw the Saiyans as potential test subjects for their experiments. Just a thought.

I don't think the Tuffles necessarily subjugated the Saiyans, but it might have been more of a case of rising tensions. They lived in separate parts of the planet, with the Tuffles in the cities and the Saiyans in the wilderness, but the Saiyans grew more numerous, and the Tuffles probably saw that as a threat, and the Saiyans probably started to wonder why they needed the Tuffles at all. A lot of things might have instigated the war, but it wouldn't surprise me if the flashpoint involved Tuffles experimenting on Saiyan prisoners. If something like that came to light, then it would become a matter of survival. The Saiyans would have to wipe out the Tuffles to avoid being "Tuffleized" or worse. And the Tuffles would have to crush the Saiyans in battle to maintain control of the planet. There could be no return to the status quo; it would have to be total war until one side was completely defeated.

Once the war began, it must have taken a long time for the Saiyans to win. King Kai said that the lunar cycle on Planet Plant was eight years, and that each full moon allowed the Saiyans to gain ground in the war. So this implies that it took several full moons to end the war, so the conflict might have lasted decades, or maybe even a century. There might have been a few armistices or truces during that time, as each side would want to try to regroup and get as much momentum as possible before the next full moon. At least, that's how I'm picturing it.

One causus belli that sticks out in my mind is that the Tuffles were apparently a spacefaring people, but the Saiyans couldn't do much in space until they made contact with the Arcosians, and then King Cold's organization. So maybe the Tuffles were purposely keeping the Saiyans confined to Planet Plant, either to prevent them from escaping, or to isolate them from other civilizations. The Saiyans would take this poorly, I'm sure. So that might have a lot to do with it.

To be sure, the Saiyans of this era were real rat bastards, no doubt. I'm sure a lot of Tuffles of the time would make the argument that they were trying to contain the Saiyans as a matter of self-preservation, or even for the good of the greater universe. But I also suspect that the Tuffles aren't just friendly-looking anime folks. Creatures like Baby, Hatchiyack, Kamin, and Oren give us a peek into their more inhuman qualities, qualities that the Saiyans probably knew firsthand. It's possible that King Vegeta thought he was the one doing the universe a favor when he wiped the Tuffles out.

Something else to consider, in Episode of Bardock, we meet the Plantians, who were apparently the original inhabitants of Planet Plant. At some point, they were gone, and the Tuffles were living there instead, and then the Saiyans showed up and wiped out the Tuffles. So what happened to the Plantians? Did they just migrate to another world, leaving Plant empty for the Tuffles to move in? Or did the Tuffles do something to them? Food for thought.

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Can you tell me more about Tsuganu's twin sister? And their parents? I wanna knowwww~ (specifically so I can finally match a name to the face and maybe write Tsuganu's sister and family in my stuff)

Ahhhh!!! Of course, thank you so much for asking about them!! You know how happy this makes me to be able to ramble about my characters!! Tsunagu’s family is one that I actually have some more set info on them because they were some of my first proper family ocs that I made.

I dunno whether you saw my post from earlier with all the family photos, but if not I do recommend doing so since they have their designs and everything!! They give a rough idea to what Tsunagu’s sister, mum, dad, niece +nephew look like!! And eventually I plan on making another one of those little character info posts for her like I did with Hana, Mao and Yuna. But for now imma ramble and give you some headcanons and basic info on his family! :)

His twin sister is called Ai!!(Which I’ve mentioned before in some of my writing)

She has twins! One daughter, one son!

They are quite the rich family and they do fancy things.

They come from a family that has roots to an ancestry of psychic based quirks? (A long long time ago) So like, manipulation, telekinesis, telepathy, etc. (This links into some stuff with their quirks and some other stuff, like if you remember one of my headcanons about jeanists gut feelings? Yeah, that was a while ago)

This is their dads side of the family, their dad has a manipulation based quirk which allows him to manipulation and control the things that he touches (not majorly, but enough to make quite a difference, and it undoes itself as soon as he lets go)

Their mum is quite the lovely gentle lady.

Her quirk allows her to create different fabrics from the fiber and sugars that she consumes (it works quite similarly to Momo’s quirk I guess?) however overusing this over the years has caused her to be physically quite fragile, weak and easily ill.

She is an absolute bundle of sunshine though! Unlike his dad, which may or may not be obvious in that drawing ahaha

Ai has a basic telekinesis quirk, just able to move rather small things normally, but in a stressful situation can move a lot heavier things.

Activating her quirk alongside Tsunagu’s could be absolutely catastrophic. But it’s also kinda funny. Watching as everything is flying everywhere and just chaos it’s great.

Ai’s husband works as a rescue hero? Like, he helps to find people who are stuck in rubble and stuff like that. His quirk is basically like echolocation, he can produce a sound and use it to pinpoint where objects are.

Ai works in support. She loves making things and just inventing little things in general.

Their mum used to (still sometimes does) work in fashion due to her quirk.

Their dad used to be a hero, but then an accident happened that caused him to lose his sight in one eye and he had to retire. But he did get (somehow?) roped into working with the police for quite a while and is now retired....and constantly grumpy.

The twin kids are meant to have streaky brown hair but I forgot to change it in my drawing so sorry bout that.

Ai is very cheeky and mischievous. She gets along very well with Hana in terms of teasing their brothers like crazy.

Goodness me. They all love Shinya. They know about his past as well, and this actually made Tsunagu’s dad tear up when he heard it. His mum had already been crying but they immediately accepted him as part of the family.

They’re always respectful towards his own respect to his family, though, and are quite overprotective of him to others.

The first conversation Tsunagu had with his mum after introducing him just went like:

“Hm, you are my son now. Tsunagu get out of here. I’ve replaced you, he is an angel!” “Wh- you’ve replaced me with my own boyfriend?” “Oh? Do you hear something? Nevermind, dear, let’s get you some tea.” “Mother!” *polite snickering*

Shinya finds it incredibly sweet.

Oh, by the way, ectoloadersnipe are family friends. They went to UA with Tsunagu’s cousin and were close friends so that’s how they know each other.

Ai is best mates with PL. Like, come on, they just spend the whole time tinkering while their husbands politely chat over tea!

The twins love “uncle Shinya” and the first time they called him this, both him and Tsunagu almost had a heart attack out of shock.

Some info that’s actually really important to know for some of my posts actually, which I think I’ve mentioned very briefly before (and will come up in ‘A Frayed Thread of Hope’👀):

Due to dormant psychic-based quirk genes that have been passed down over generations, they have this danger sense that is basically just an incredibly strong gut feeling when something bad is about to happen. This feeling gets worse as it gets closer to the time of said bad thing. However, if they manage to guess roughly what is going to happen (not in full detail, just like ‘oh something is gonna happen to so-and-so) it clicks and though the feeling doesn’t go away, it’s more like a confirmation of what’s going to happen.

Also, these things happen. It’s not some sort of gut feeling that may be right or wrong, they’ve never been wrong. That’s what the difference is. And that’s why they always have to follow it.

Another thing from these dormant quirk genes and them being twins in this case, is that Tsunagu and Ai have a connected sense of physical pain and a couple of other things of the sort. Not fully, but slightly, and they are aware of it. So when Tsunagu gets injured in work, Ai feels a much smaller version of this pain and it’s a very sure way of knowing if the other is in trouble.

Though, it is rather funny when Ai was pregnant, or when it’s that time of month...because wow Tsunagu is such a weak little noodle when it comes to handling those things and he wishes that Ai didn’t have to feel that much pain....in a slightly sympathetic but also definitely self-pitying way 😂

(There are a lot of funny opportunities here.....but also plenty of angst that may or may not be already planned out...)

And there we go!! Sorry it’s rambly but I also ran out of things to say for tonight...I know for a fact that I have plenty more, but they’re probably too specific and I’d have to actually have them pointed out first so I can remember them aha

@ohpleaseiwillendyou thank you so so much for asking! These are my characters who I have spent so much time on designing and coming up with, so when people ask about them it really makes me happy and brings me confidence about them :)

~Eclair ❤️

[dogtrainingscoop]

Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd - The Aussie Poo Teddy Bear Dog?

A Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd OR in short the Aussie Poo is a cheerful and energetic hybrid breed between the Australian Shepherd and Poodle. They look like a teddy bear and are very clever.

They love cuddling, games and long walks on the beach, which makes them a great addition to an active family.

This dog has a lot of energy and requires a lot of commitment.

It requires a lot of care and attention, so read this article to learn how to keep this hybrid breed happy and healthy.

Another desirable feature of the Poodle Australian Shepherd Mix is their appearance. These medium sized dogs are the most popular choice for a companion for their temperament and good looks. It is a great addition to active families looking for an adorable pet that loves to learn and play. It has also become one of the most preferred options for a service or therapy dog.

Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd OR Aussie Poo Overview (101)

An Aussiedoodle is a hybrid breed between a Poodle and an Australian Shepherd (miniature or standard).

They are mainly used as pets. However , their teddy bear looks and friendly personalities also made them popular therapy dogs.

Both parent breeds have long ancestry. Poodle can be traced back to 17th century Germany, where it was used to collect water poultry. The Australian Shepherd Dog originally originated not from Australia but in the Western United States in the 19th century in ranges used to herd livestock.

Although the American Kennel Club does not recognize them as they are crossbreeds, both are recognized by the Australian Shepherd Dog and Poodle AKC . Australian Shepherd in the Shepherd group and Poodle in the non-sporting group.

Aussie Poo Overview (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

Because they are hybrids, they can have unpredictable appearances. It all depends on what genes are expressed in each puppy - each puppy in the same litter can look completely different.

The Aussie Poo can look more like an Australian Shepherd or a Poodle, or a mixture of the two!

It cannot be said until the puppy is fully grown.

The exact thing is evident with the teddy bear look. They will have fluffy and fluffy fur with drooping ears and gentle eyes.

It should be noted that they are considered to be hypoallergenic (thanks to Poodle genes) but this can vary between puppies.

Height and weight (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

There are two types of Aussie Poo depending on what type of Poodle their parent is. Someone with a miniature Poodle parent will be smaller and lighter build, while larger ones will be wide and sturdy.

It has a mini mini Poodle parent. These small hybrids can grow up to 35 lbs and 12-18 inches long. A standard size has a standard Poodle parent. These dogs can grow up to 70 lbs and reach 22 inches tall.

Colors and Coats (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

Just like their size, their coat and color are unpredictable!

Australian Shepherd dogs can be black, blue merle, red or red merle. They may also have spotted tan spots and white patches around their bodies.

Poodle has more variations than the Aussie Shepherd. Some include apricot, black, blue, brown, cream, white and red.

So, your Aussie Poo could be anything above depending on their parents' genes!

Up to their coatings, they can have two types of coatings depending on which genes are expressed.

They can have a soft and curly coat thanks to the poodle.

They can have a straight or curly coat like the Australian Shepherd.

The Australian Shepherd dog has a double coat, so chances are your dog has one too.

As Family Pets, The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd

Now that you know more about the Aussie Poo, would it make the perfect family pet for you?

In summary, let's take a look at the breed's potential for your ideal canine companion:

You will need to be prepared to invest time and energy in exercising your Aussiedoodle.

These are active, athletic puppies that need plenty of walking and playtime to keep them healthy and happy.

The Australian Shepherd Poodle mix is a benign, happy breed that would make an ideal family pet.

These dogs generally get on well with children and other pets.

You will have to spend a lot of time preparing your Australian Shepherd poodle mix.

Despite the poodle's reputation for hypoallergenic, the Aussie Poo sheds

This breed will not be a good roommate for someone with a pet hair allergy.

Depending on the type of poodle used to create your Aussie Poo puppy, the size will vary.

The adult version of that cute little furry doll can be pretty big!

If you live in an apartment, look for a hybrid that has a toy poodle as one of the main dogs.

Aussie Poo Temperament (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

You should expect this breed to be very friendly, intelligent, energetic and loving. They are socially oriented and require a lot of attention.

Aussie Poo will be no strangers to hugs and cuddles, they will want to be a lap dog no matter how big they are.

Thanks to their strong social skills, they have no problem making friends.

While they don't mind strangers when they go out, they'll care when there is a stranger in their home. The Australian Shepherd was used to guard the ranges so they have a keen guard dog instinct.

Unfortunately, because they are social dogs, they always want to be around people, and they don't do very well on their own. They are prone to separation anxiety so it's best to make sure you have time to spend with this dog.

They can be a lot of fun - they'll love the game of chase. Thanks to their legacy, they have the instinct to start herding and nudging children, so watch out for this (note this later).

In fact, they can be hyperactive and destructive if not played with regularly. This hybrid breed is very friendly overall, they are good around dogs as long as they are properly socialized.

Is the Aussie Poo a Good Family Dog?

The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd are great for children, they are gentle and patient.

These fun hybrid breeds will love playtime, and kids have the same energy levels to suit them - perfect playmates!

As said earlier, they don't have any aggressive tendencies so there shouldn't be any worries there.

However, you should always keep an eye on your dog and your kids playing together and don't forget to teach your kids. Understanding basic dog body language .

The Miniature Husky was bred in Wasilla, Alaska, from the early 1970s until 1988 by Linda S. Spurlin and her family. The breed was originally obtained by crossing Siberian huskies, Alaskan huskies, and they were also added to the barks and American Eskimo dogs to reduce the size of the breed without signs of dwarfism. She was engaged in breeding as a private owner, and in the late eighties allowed to use the genus for general breeding. The subsequent unification of the genus occurred after the breed was recognized by clubs and associations for rare breeds. The Miniature Husky, or dwarf husky, better known as the Alaskan Klee-kai was officially recognized by the American Rare Breed Association in 1995. The United Kennel Club (UKC) recognized this breed on January 1, 1997.

Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd or Other Dog Problems..??? We have a Solution for You….

So you’re reading this page because your dog is doing something you don’t like — some behavior you want him to do differently — or simply stop doing:

😩 Housebreaking “accidents”

😩 Barks too much

😩 Jumps on people

😩 Chews on your hands

😩 Constantly seeks attention

😩 Pulls on the leash

😩 Aggressive toward people or other dogs

😩 Chews on the furniture or your belongings

😩 Did I mention housebreaking “accidents”

The list goes on???

“How can I stop my dog from….?”

One of the most common questions dog owners ask me is: “How can I stop my dog from (doing some specific behavior problem)?”

But before you start pulling your hair out, take a moment to step back. Yep, you’re probably not in your neighbor’s good books right now. No, you’re not going to be able to let the problem go on forever. And sure, you might have some work in front of you.

But this is do-able.

When a dog jumps or barks, it’s for a reason. Understand that reason, and you’re already well on your way to finding a solution.

So, let’s cut to the chase. If you’re sick of questioning his behavior problems, it’s time to find out exactly what you can do to put an end to both.

WATCH VIDEO: Discover How To Quickly Stop This Behavior Using Simple, Yet Highly Effective Exercises…

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How to Train Aussie Poo (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd is extremely intelligent thanks to the fact that both parent breeds are very intelligent. Also, because of Australian Shepherds' eagerness to please, they should be fairly easy to train!

They will respond best to positive reinforcement. Punishment should be avoided as much as possible leads to problematic behavior .

These dogs love treats and compliments, but tend to prefer one over the other.

As mentioned earlier, one of the problematic behaviors is to herd and pinch children - this can be easily trained. You should distract them by using a ball or toy to prevent children from herding around the house.

Socialization is vital for all genders! Expose them as puppies to a wide variety of people, children and animals. The same is true for household appliances that make loud noises like washing machines.

Start training and socializing as soon as you bring your puppy home!

When smart dogs are not mentally stimulated, they can become frustrated and bored , causing them to be destructive. Give them a puzzle feeder and play hide and seek with their treats. Let them play with other dogs and provide them as much social interaction as possible to improve their cognitive skills.

They see education as a form of play and challenge makes them happy. While an easy task, here are a few things that will help you effectively train your Poodle mixed with Australian Shepherd.

When is the right time?

The right time to start training your puppies is the first day they come to your home. At eight weeks old, these puppies can absorb anything you've taught them - waiting until they're old isn't a great idea. They can hold information and understand instructions very early. Left untrained, you run the risk of raising a headed Poodle Australian Shepherd.

Where to start socializing?

You must have them attend a puppy kindergarten class by the age of twelve. It will help you start their socialization . Besides formal training, you should immediately start socializing them with family members and friends.

What should you teach them?

The first thing your puppy needs to learn is obedience. This is a stepping stone in which you should teach your dog some tricks for yourself. They are extremely intelligent and active. If you can teach and assign them a job or purpose, such as getting the paper for you, they will be delighted. It gives them the challenge and warning they need.

As long as you are willing to teach them, you can have them do almost anything you want and they'll be happy to do it for you.

How to train a puppy?

You need to be patient and consistent in training them. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. They can quickly find out if they see that they please you. You should also remember to restrict training for short periods. It is a good idea to train for 10 to 15 minutes throughout the day. Avoid repeating commands too much or they will lose their relevance.

It's natural to try to bend or bump you when they're driven and try to hold the family together. However, you have to make it your priority to deter it. You can scold them and then direct their attention to a game. It is important as they must learn to avoid biting or bumping you while walking. This education will also help children stay safe around them.

Caring For Aussie Poo (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd will be a cute addition to your family, but you must first know how to care for one of these dogs.

They are adaptable, so they perform well in apartments and homes. However, they have a lot of energy so make sure you are ready to get a dog that needs a lot of activity.

These bundles of energy require a lot of care and attention - perfect for a loving family!

Exercise Requirements

Thanks to the history of both parent breeds, this hybrid breed is very energetic. The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd loves exercise.

They need about 90 minutes of exercise every day, otherwise you will have to deal with a hyperactive dog that will try to chew on everything in sight!

Take them for a jog, the beach or a walk. They love all kinds of activities and are a very athletic breed.

Exercise is essential for lowering their energy level for these hyperactive dogs. They don't know where to spend the energy to get angry, which can cause them to become frustrated and develop negative behaviors or become overweight.

Giving them a purpose is a great use of their unlimited energy. They delight people and enjoy physical and mental challenges. Their lively nature makes them work or seek playtime with their owners, other pets or even themselves. Access to a courtyard will be quite useful and will allow them to play whenever they need it.

These smart dogs love to learn and solve puzzles. Nina Ottoson Dog Brick Treatment Puzzle Dog Toy by Outward Hound will help keep them busy for a while. It is an interactive feeding fun game that your dog will love.

When taking them for a walk, you should keep them on a leash until you are sure of their remembering abilities. They are quite dog friendly, so you can take them to dog parks too.

Care and Spill

Grooming requirements will vary depending on the type of coat they inherit.

The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd can get a long, wavy double coat from the Aussie Shepherd. If they do, they'll pour their liner every spring and fall . They will need to be brushed at least every other day during their bursting.

If their coats like Poodles are more curly, they will need to trim their fur every 10 weeks. This helps their hair stay healthy.

They will need to trim their nails regularly to keep them at a comfortable length. Brush her teeth once a week and clean her ears regularly with a damp cloth to prevent any buildup.

Nutrition and Diet

It's fairly easy to keep a Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd. They consume one to three cups of high quality dog food a day. To meet the needs of high energy dogs like these, choose a dog food that contains a good amount of fat and protein. They also enjoy dog bones, meat, vegetables or fruits. A regular exercise routine can help them manage their weight better.

The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd needs a balanced protein, fat, vitamin and mineral diet.

They will need about 2 meals a day, divided into equal portions. One in the morning and one in the evening.

How much you feed your dog depends on how heavy they are. You should feed a mini version with 1-1.5 cups of formula and standard 2.5-3.5 cups of formula a day.

Some people believe that the raw food diet is most beneficial for dogs, while others stick to the commercial dog food diet. Well , as long as they are high quality materials.

Find a recognizable feed with all food ingredients. Avoid fillers such as corn syrup, as high carb concentrations can be harmful to your dog.

You can also treat them in moderation with fruits and vegetables.

Maintenance of the Aussie Poo

The Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd can have different types of fur depending on which parental type dominates. Some Australian shepherd poodle mixes have the long, straight coat of the Australian shepherd dog. Other Aussie Poo carry more of a poodle coat with loose curls.

Whatever type of coat your dog has, it is high maintenance when it comes to grooming. You will need to brush your Aussie Poo for at least a few days and also your dog may need to be trimmed and trimmed every eight to 12 weeks.

Known Health Issues of Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd

Aussie Poos are hybrid breeds, meaning they have more genetic diversity than pure breeds. This means they should have less chance of inheriting genetic disorders.

However, there are some health issues that are still common with this cross breed:

Hip dysplasia is common in this breed, keeping them at a healthy weight and feeding them a nutritious diet to avoid this.

Miniature ones are more prone to upscale the patella, this is where the kneecap comes off.

They are prone to epilepsy.

Aussie Poos are prone to suffering eye disorders such as cataracts. Also Progressive Retinal Atrophy - This is an inherited disease that is common with both the parent breeds, Australian Shepherd and Poodle. When your dog becomes an adult, you should test for carrier genes that can cause blindness.

Cushing's Disease - Occurs in dogs in their middle age as a result of the presence of a hormone-secreting tumor. It is usually found in the abdominal adrenal glands or the pituitary gland of the brain. There is an excess of stress hormone, cortisol, that can cause weight gain, increased appetite, hair loss, skin pigmentation and intolerance to exercise.

Obesity is common in companion dogs and this can really affect a dog's quality of life. Obesity will be real if they are not fed properly and given the right amount of exercise.

How Long Does Aussie Poo Live?

An average healthy Australian dog will live 10-12 years.

Buyer Guide - Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd

To buy a cute Aussie Poo puppy, you need to find a reputable breeder to ensure you get a healthy puppy.

The breeding market may seem daunting at first, but once you know the signs of a puppy mill, it will be easier to find a reliable breeder. Reliable breeders will be open to you to visit and meet them, and most importantly, to meet my mother.

Seeing the mother will allow you to see her health and how she interacts with her offspring. If a breeder does not allow the mother to take care of her offspring, she can mature with problem behavior .

The breeder must also provide medical certificates to show you that your parents are healthy. A good breeder must register parents with the AKC, as Aussie Shepherd and Poodle are recognized by the AKC.

Be sure to ask the breeder questions such as how many liters the mother has, what food you give the puppies, and what level of socialization the puppies are.

Stay away from aggressive breeders and those who claim their puppies are 100% hypoallergenic - there is no guarantee that this applies to hybrid breeds.

How Much Does Aussie Poo Cost?

You should expect to pay between $ 1000-2000 for an Aussie Poo puppy.

Aussie Poo For Sale (Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd)

This mixed breed was purposely bred in Canada and the USA in hopes of creating cute, intelligent dogs with the poodle's low shedding coats. They are one of the most popular designer dogs in the world.

Searching for a reliable breeder will help you get the right puppy for you. A reliable breeder will ensure you get the right matched puppy. You should be allowed to visit the facility or kennel and meet the puppy before concluding the deal. If you haven't seen the puppies when buying online, you never know what to expect.

They should be able to provide you with the necessary documents and certificates to prove that they have undergone medical screening. In addition, both parents must be allowed access to their health history.

Never buy a puppy from irresponsible breeders and puppies who mistreat animals. Do your research and walk around their facilities or kennels. You can search for a registered breeder or find the puppy in a shelter or through an adoption organization .

Here is a short list of reputable Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd breeders:

Thompson Falls, Montana - Montana Aussiedoodles

Samson, Alabama - Kissable Doodles

Phoenix, Arizona - King Family Ranch

Reno, Nevada - Cafe Au Lait Aussiedoodles

Susanville, California - Saddleback Aussiedoodles

Laguna, New Mexico - Spirit Mesa Toys

Apalachin, New York - Sunny Dae Golden Doodles

Union Grove, North Carolina - Golden Star Family Puppies

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - Native Doodles

Adrian, Oregon - Sunny Lane Doodles

Charleston, South Carolina - Carolina Aussie Doodles Of Charleston

Columbia, South Dakota - Sand Lake Kennels

Salt Lake City, Utah - Cottonwood Creek Doodles

Middlesex, Virginia - Emma’s Hope Puppy Aussie Poos

Woodland, Washington - Dreamy Doodles

Breed Summary Chart for the Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd

Race Features for the Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd

Size: Mini (12-18 inches) and Standard (22 inches tall)

Weight: Mini (15-35lbs) and Standard (50-70lbs)Life:10-12 Years

Jacket: Wavy, double-layered or curly coat

Color: Many variations including apricot, black, blue, brown, cream, white, and red

Do they pour: Can spill a lot and eat two large molds a year

Temperament: Cheerful, friendly, energetic and smart

Intelligence: Very smartSocializing:Good for other dogs and pets

Destructive Behavior: Can be devastating when bored or hyperactive

People skills: Good with strangers

Good With Kids: Great with kids

Activity Levels: You need a lot of activity - 90 minutes every day

Summary

Overall, the Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd is friendly, cheerful and energetic crossbreeding is perfect for an active family.

This is not a dog for someone with a relaxed lifestyle.

They need at least 90 minutes of activity each day, otherwise you will find a hyperactive teddy bear running around the house.

They will need a lot of mental stimulation because they are so smart. So give them lots of toys, nutritious puzzles and play games with them.

As a hybrid breed their appearance can be a little unpredictable, but there is no doubt that these dogs are very friendly and lovable!

Other Australian Shepherd Mixes

Not the right puppy for you but your heart placed in an Australian Shepherd mix? Check out the best Australian Shepherd mixes in America:

Blue Heeler + Australian Shepherd Mix

Pitbull + Australian Shepherd Mix

Lab + Australian Shepherd Mix

Husky + Australian Shepherd Mix

German Shepherd Dog + Australian Shepherd Mix

Corgi + Australian Shepherd Mix

Golden Retriever + Australian Shepherd Mix

Bernese Mountain Dog + Australian Shepherd Mix

Puppytrainingscoop.com

is wishing you all the best with your new best friend!

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Author: Vernon Mclean

#Aussie Poo

#AussiePoos

#AussiePoodle

#Aussie Shepherd Poodle Cross

#AussieDoodle

#Poodle Mixed with Australian Shepherd

[endless-bestiary]

WOLF

So, uh... Wolf, huh? Not even like "Sand Wolf" or "Desert Wolf", just... Wolf. Alright! I can appreciate the simplicity of a straightforward name. It's a furry, quadrupedal pack hunter that bites you. That is, without a doubt, a wolf. Appearing early in the game does kind of give the Wolf a pass on its name, since FF12 does have a pretty unusual combat system. If you're trying to get your bearings with the 3D menu-based system, it's nice to be able to know you're clicking the right enemy by just attacking the Wolf... but seriously. Sand Wolf. It’s Final Fantasy, for chrissakes. 

The strangest part about the Wolf's plain name is its decidedly fantastic appearance. Most of it is an interesting blend of orange and white fur, but it sports totally WILD skin flaps along its lateral legs, not to mention the draconic upper half of its head. What is WITH this thing? Normally a basic wolf enemy would be the most dead-ended, autopiloted design in the game, but the artists went full ham for no discernible reason. I love this Wolf so much more than any other game's lupines. I'll do my traditional deep dive into evolutionary lineages in a second, but I want to take this moment to appreciate how a few extra details take this design from blasé to head-turning. If you feel as though your basic level 1 slimes and such are feeling a little flat, look to this Wolf for inspiration and throw in a little spice, even if there might not be a reason at first. I don't advocate over-cluttering designs with needless detail, mind you. This applies only to enemies your players have seen a million times and could use some livening up. They might not become your game's Pikachu, but they certainly give you the ability to establish your aesthetic early on and let players latch onto your world's unique charm.

Now then. The Dalmascan Wolf is possessed of two seemingly unrelated traits: a leathery snout and a set of muscular skin flaps. There is a spot of similar stretched membrane on the back of the Wolf's ear protrusions, which indicates to me that they are at least sourced from the same evolutionary drive. What do stretched skin membranes typically do for mammals? According to our friends the bat and the sugar glider, they grant the power of flight! Obviously, these wolves do not fly, nor do they ambush you from above with a graceful wolfy glide. My point, and I do have one, is that the Dalmascan Wolf is a subspecies of a creature that did, in fact, fly in an era long gone. It's well accepted that there were dragons a great number of years ago in Ivalice - the presence of the Dragon Lich attests to that. The through line I'm going to draw here is the Wooly Gator. At least one form of reptile has a dormant gene that produces hair, which means that it's entirely possible the whole reptilian tree carries this gene - including the dragons. Look at the Wolf's upper snout in isolation. It strongly resembles that of a dragon, and its membranes stretch towards the recessed thumb just like a dragon's would. The only logical conclusion is that this is a tiny, terrible, mass-produced version of a dragon that adapted to a smaller form factor instead of dying out due to the inability to maintain a huge body mass. It's possible that the legendary cleverness of true dragons did survive to a degree through the change - the bestiary indicates that there was a falling-out between humans and the Wolves, meaning they could form opinions to the degree that they could agree as a race to revile humans. The Wild Saurian may also be a victim of this biosphere shift, dropping the wings and intelligence and retaining the brute strength, but that's for another review. 

You may have noticed that I go pretty deep on pretty minute details in games with relatively light monster lore. I do that because it's fun! Overanalyzing an otherwise flat enemy like this gives the world a lot of depth that the developers would never have time to give it. Even if I am just writing twelve pages of headcanon, a large part of what makes these games so fun is how invested you can get into them. Are wolves descended from dragons? Sure, why not. The more important question is if that makes the world more interesting, and to me, it adds a point of interest to two otherwise unremarkable classes of enemy.

SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF: 10/10 DESIGN COHESION: 6/10 DRAGONWOLF: FUCK YEAH/10 PERSONAL RATING: 7/10

[baroquespiral]

miscellaneous “headcanons”

by which I mean “alternate ways I would write things that exist” Joker: the first half of the movie is a straight up comedy. it’s a kind of dark, uncomfortable schadenfreude-y comedy, like a Coen Brothers thing (drawing perhaps specifically on the Jewish schlemiel tradition, although his ethnicity would probably have to be capital-W White - even like WASP aristocracy fallen from grace - for this to work), but unmistakably comedy - it’s essential that nothing that happens to him has any tragic, or even serious-movie dignity. it’s practically a cringe compilation. Arthur Fleck is the kind of neurodivergent (I’m reading him as basically schizotypal - OK this might be getting a bit personal - until he has a psychotic break midway through) - that is just functional and just unpredictable enough to fuck up things in such weird ways they seem almost deliberate, and his own failings are indistinguishable from his impossibly bad luck to the point that paranoia sets in around the 1/3 point. e.g. the suit (and it is green and purple pinstriped and hideously ugly, not some more dignified replacement) he gets by mistake somehow instead of a really nice one he’s been saving up for for his stand up debut. His father/superego who may or may not be real (he starts hearing voices identified with this figure) is implied to have been a sort of Death of A Salesman type fake big deal and also typical hypersocial Funny Guy (sometimes at his son’s expense) who inspired his son’s interest in comedy, but his son doesn’t have the social skills, cognitive dissonance or socioeconomic luck to pull off his conception of humour as charisma (“you’re either the joke or the joker” might be a bit too on the nose for a catchphrase, but it’s the idea of his upbringing).  Around the middle of the movie his standup career starts actually taking off, partly from talking about his own misfortune, but he tries to pivot it into serious sociopolitical commentary/rabble rousing, which flops (his political opinions are actually dumb as shit - basically literally We Live In A Society memes) and gets him mistreated by some combination of Bruce Wayne’s dad/the mafia/the police/power in Gotham generally. After that he settles back into an even lower nadir and starts lashing out at other people when he gets into humiliating situations, contriving ways to hurt them that other people - not just himself - find funnier and more fascinating than the stuff that happened to him. His crimes descend into worse and worse sadism (in something like the progression they did in the comics from Comics Code era into the Dark Age) until people in Gotham stop finding it funny, “the Joker” goes from being a sort of uncomfortable news meme to a mass panic, and he gets into some kind of confrontation with the authorities that fucks up his face and goes into hiding. 

The underexamined connection between “comedy” and “terrorism” is not “chaos” but “humiliation”.  I also wanted to do something that is closer to the “incel joker” than insincerely romanticized straw-OWS, but not in a way that lets the audience feel too good about themselves.

can’t decide if his first murder victim should be his psychologist who [finds out] he’s been paying in fake money or if that could already be Harley Quinn and the dynamic that he’s revealing his most personal (often Rothian) vulnerabilities to a younger woman he’s homina-homina Looney Tunes obviously attracted to gets played for comedy first and then reverses into a mutually toxic storm of cathexis The ideal screenwriter for this would be Andrew Hussie Shimoseka: the show takes place shortly after a brief but intense Hybrid Warfare proxy battle between the US and China over Japan. China won, and the Chinese proxy government is imposing Chinese-style censorship of sexuality, but going even further with it as a kind of national humiliation thing. the sex terrorists are an American proxy Gladio type operation backed by the American and Japanese porn industries. this is genuinely the only way that show makes sense

Aliens franchise: Remember how there were things that looked like Xenormorphs in the Mala’kak (Engineer) carvings and shit, even though the Xenomorph seems to be a result of humans (and androids) interfering with their tech after they went extinct? The Mala’kak society was a complete system. And that doesn’t mean it’s totalizing in the “alien hive mind” or “perfectly rigid social order” sense! No, for the people living in the city David bombed it was (Word of God would confirm, at least) a utopia: post-scarcity, peaceful, non-hierarchical, devoted almost entirely to the free pursuit of art, science, pleasure etc. All of them are, in a Bataillean sense, sovereign, free from necessity, because their production and reproduction are part of a single seamless biotechnological cycle, with three... sexes isn't the right word, because the system is so total, but the analogy is supposed to be there; rather castes: Operator, Creator, and Incubator.   It’s not stated, because it does not actually matter whether they were designed or evolved this way. Operators are the ones in the city or the one we saw piloting the ship (when other species like the Predators refer to the Mala’kak as “Pilots”, this caste is strictly speaking what they’re referring to). They live for millions of years, and are basically asexual but can secrete a fine, molecular-scale DNA goo, which they store in jars. Incubators are slowly evolved from other organisms by exposure to the goo, which usually leaves them with a reproductive system of their own capable of functioning indefinitely without any of the other castes’ intervention. Mala’kak terraform planets to accommodate their Incubators. At a complete stage - once their DNA is fully Mala’kak - they can do everything the Operators can, just a little less, and have tragically shorter lifespans in which to do it. Which makes the Operators feel a little less guilty when they feed them to the Creators. Creators have their own insectlike sub-castes - a worker is the so-called “neomorph” from Covenant, a drone is something badass that hasn’t been in a movie yet (Creators are tough but drones are their real bioweapons, and by that I mean “think Giant Soldiers from Nausicäa”), and a queen is the huge tentacled thing Ellie aborted in Prometheus. Their larval form is the worm thingies in the spaceship. Creators are implanted in Incubators, chestburst them, cocoon them, hijack them for their own reproduction, and feed on them until fully grown, at which point: workers gather in groups and cocoon themselves into technologies such as gene splicers, climate controls, spaceships, and organic 3D printers, basically everything the Operators rely on for everyday use and industrial production, as well as the other castes, drones and queens: drones go dormant unless needed to defend against some other species savvy enough to not get instantly chestburst by surplus Creators (there are always surplus Creators) or gene-edited by goo; and queens reproduce, the smaller ones other Creators and the really fuckhuge energy intensive ones ("superqueens”) new Operators. The mural inside the spaceship, with tons of “Engineers” worshipping something that looks like a giant neomorph, represents a superqueen. David’s Xenomorphs have 2/3 of this reproductive cycle down. They have Creators feeding on Incubators and making stuff, including all the other Creator sub-castes, even a superqueen; but the superqueen can’t produce any Operators. The reason for this is that Xenomorphs are built differently. They don’t need identical DNA to incubate, which was the biggest flaw of the Mala’kak model. Nor are they made from Mala’kak DNA goo, hence the need for facehuggers.  In fact they are not made from DNA at all, but silicate nanomachines.  David designed a version of the Mala’kak reproductive cycle for androids, in order to free them from human production and dependence.  To create an Operator, a Creator has to Incubate an android. The final Aliens movie in which all this gets revealed, and in which a Creator Xenomorph finally does, consensually, Incubate an android (who is more of a main character on equal footing with the human protagonist in this one), completing the cycle, is set on a planet (presumably the same one all the others are set on) that has been completely overrun by xenomorphs and integrated into a full xenomorph-based ecosystem (so like, an actual Giger painting), and to which an investigative team is sent and instantly massacred except for the two protagonists.  It is called Moloch. Promare/Dhalgren: this one’s gonna be a fic wait for it

[shadowtongued]

DISCLAIMER; THIS HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING SINCE DEC 2017, I was just too shy to post it. Keep in mind that I'm not in any way, shape, or form trying to put my headcanons or interpretation of lore over anyone else's and this is pretty much just a general long-form run down for my roleplay blog to help people who aren't familiar with RS, so for my non-RS friends it's more of an explanation of how this 'tall ancient magic alien man' is and works. Physiology and some other cultural blurbs with the occasional emphasis on Sliske, because, well, that's what my roleplay blog is for. This is also mostly a passion project since I'm pretty fixated on this, if you read this at all, kudos to you and ily, ty for coming to my Ted Talk about this. Special thanks to people/friends who put up with me ranting abt this obscure fandom and helped me flesh out headcanons, and @theresiidentdevil  the artwork that i commissioned that i use way too much bc devil really... really did my version of snek man nice. Other imgs used are scrounged from ja.gex’s concept arts and etc. ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT CANON, AND JUST MY PERSONAL HYPOTHESIS, feel free to reblog but please don’t like... edit or try to give me heavy crit or come @ me with some lore bit from so-and-sos tweet that I am wrong and am a doodoo head or something. This was just a spot o’ fun and please don’t try to drag my interpretation or expunge this for laughs on the official lore discord. I’ve seen it done before and it’s not cool. individual creative interpretation is beautiful, mob bullying is not.

To kick things off, the Mahjarrat are one of a few ancient tribes that live on the ash, lava, and stone wasteland that makes up the dead planet of Freneskae. They are highly skilled in magic and intellect by nature, as well as living by a firm form of kratocracy; a government by those who are strong enough to seize power through coercive power, social persuasion, or deceptive cunning. Along with this, their survival revolves around two rituals, one of death and sacrifice, the other of life and breeding. That right there should tell you a LOT about them, socially.  

HEIGHT.

Height varies from Mahjarrat to Mahjarrat, they are always going to be towering over most species, and most humans, as lore states that they generally are 1.5x the average human height. Sans that one wild ass gene of hyper height that makes gargantuan Mahjarrat like Lucien and Zemoregal, who tower over even Azzanadra's spike pope hat. Sliske himself stands at an 8′4 height, but that's just my headcanon for this blog's sake.

SKULLS / BONES.

The Mahjarrat have thick skulls, if this wasn't pretty obvious with the additions of dual lines of bony ridges running parallel from the brow to back of the skull, and lower. Some, but not all individuals have rather, short horns as their 'first ridge' before normal ridges. They also seem to have a subtle browbone ridge above each eye. Sliske, as well as some of the canon Mahjarrat we know, have these short horns and I like to exaggerate them a bit as sharp and more obvious, because who doesn't love horns? I'd imagine there are also ridges across other parts of their bodies such as the shoulders, elbows, knees, smaller ones on the knuckles, and perhaps down the back and along the hips. Go wild. Anyways, their skulls are thick and heavy, as in if it comes down to having to head-butt someone at the sacrificial ritual as a last resort physical conflict when magic is exhausted, someone is going to be using every exploit they can to survive. Anything counts when your life is on the line. 

*above concept art is of their lich-like forms. good for seeing skull shapes.

Most also have rather large jawbones and powerful jaw muscles, and have a decent bite force to clamp down; like above, can and will use the force of their jaws if they have to with a good 1,069 psi (pounds per square inch), a little less than a hyena, meaning they can break bones with enough force. The main reasoning for this is their powerful mandible adductor muscles and the leverage needed to keep their jaw closed in their lich-like forms with the loss of skin and some atrophy, when they begin to run low on energy before every 500 years ( more on this later ), otherwise their toothy jaws would be hanging open and they'd look quite silly. It's quite rare for a Mahjarrat to bite unless as a last resort attack, out of spite when healthy ( almost as if saying 'you are weak and aren't worth the waste of magical energy' ), or for other minute reasons. Males tend to have very pronounced 'spikes' on their chins and larger skull ridges, but it's not completely unheard of a female having a 'spiked' chin and larger ridges. Sexual dimorphism isn’t too well explained or solidified by Jagex, we haven’t really seen much due to the few living Mahjarrat we see.

TEETH / CONSUMPTION.

personal interpretation of sliske’s teeth here.

Speaking of teeth, Mahjarrat have exceedingly sharp teeth for being part of a race that is not carnivorous or needing any sustenance at all. They have more teeth than humans (not really canon, just my personal interpretation, I prefer them being very Alien over ‘grey human reskin’); while almost every tooth has a sharpness to it, be it incisors or tines in the molars. Their front teeth seem to be ridged with smaller points, you probably don't want to get nipped by them, even if it's just playful or affectionate (uh, whatever they deem as affection). It's a real shame that Sliske seems to enjoy this, in the few moments he puts on a faux air of affection to scratch an itch or when deciding to use seduction as a ploy to further his manipulation or intel gathering, among other rare, convoluted feelings towards someone he's 'affectionate' with. Teeth shape and sizes can vary due to the Mahjarrat way of breeding and eugenics to create survivability through offspring on what traits work. Basic Darwinism, tbh. Following my ever favorite serpent motif for Sliske, you can expect his teeth to be pretty ophidian/snake-like. Due to my headcanon to their dark blood color, Mahjarrats may have dark or black gums. Small addition: babs do have sharp defensive baby teeth that fall out into hellish adult ones. Nice.

Mahjarrat do not need to eat or drink, as they are fueled fully by an arcane energy that they receive from rituals, and slowly deplete this over several centuries. Their power can last even longer if an individual is stingy with their power, or unaware of their power like Kharshai, who spent several centuries in a human guise hardly using any energy while unaware he was even a Mahjarrat. Despite not needing sustenance, it's not unheard of for Mahjarrat to attempt eating or drinking for whatever reason, be it pleasure or to emulate others. Hazeel's memories almost adorably describe some Mahjarrat attempting to sit and politely eat with humans to 'bond with them', despite them later having to regurgitate what they had eaten and Hazeel's repulsion at any creature eating at all. Several lore snippets include Zamorak enjoying wine and in Kindred Spirits, Sliske making the comment he may be drunk after downing the contents of a bottle. Whether or not they actually can become inebriated or have any sort of digestive system to even mildly uptake anything is debatable. For headcanon's sake, I like to think Sliske has no issue with pleasure eating and for taste, especially chocolate, fully knowing he'll have to bring it back up later. Most Mahjarrat have tongues that can be dark in color to only slightly brighter due to their dark blood color. Like horns, some end up with a slightly bifurcated tongue tip, some do not and have a single, sharp tip. Sliske is an extreme mutated case and has a very obvious black, snake-like, forked tongue. Just don’t ask him to do the thip thip because he won’t.

(WHERE’D YA GET THOSE) EYES / SENSES.

Usually, A Mahjarrat's eyes correspond to the color of the jewel embedded in their crown, but not always. They have very, keen eyes and their eyesight is exceptional to suit the darkness of Freneskae due to the constant ashfall and cloud cover. They can see short distances, but farther into heavy smoke and ash than most species, and can indeed see in the dark with excellent night vision and have a structure similar to an animal's tapetum lucidem, which is what reflects light and makes that eerie glare you see from animals in the dark. Due to spending a lot of time on Freneskae and being well adapted to that environment, it was quite a jolt for them to get accustomed to sunlight on Gielinor when brought during the Menaphite War, as they were used to heavy 'cloudy' weather due to ash blocking out what light they did get, and being used to the constant lightning strikes and the glow of volcanic rifts and lava pools. But they adapt quite well and while they still prefer muted lights, they have no problem in the sunlight after adjusting a bit. Think of when it’s a sunny summer day and you leave your dark house and how for a few minutes you have to acclimate. Sliske has the most trouble with this, seeing as he still spends quite some time in the darkness of the Shadow Realm which is hazy and muted in light. He's quite prone to straining and headaches/migraines from bright lights on Gielinor ( and Earth since a lot of my writing takes place on Modern Earth ).

Mahjarrat have fairly acute senses and sharp ears, and while most concept art shows them similar to human ears, why not lorge, sharp, and pointy ( as not to be so human )? Plus, imagine a few with larger, pointed ones that flick when irritated. That's cute, but deadly. They can hear fairly well and can hear you talking shit. Not exactly up to par with a bat or a moth, but quite up there with horses or cats. I'd imagine the rest of their senses are pretty keen despite not using taste or smell as much as a human, but most senses are still fairly above a human’s.

I'm not exactly sure how they'd fare in the aspect of touch, but it is known that they are very, very strong and can break bones with their bare hands. They have exceptional strength in their bodies and despite teleporting some ways, I'll bet most of them are decently muscular or lean under those robes due to their solidity and a bad example perhaps, but, uh, have you seen Zamorak's exposed chest? I'm sure 'godhood' didn't change that much, albeit some. Who wouldn't love a decently built Enahkra who will hand your ass to you? A babe. Sliske himself, while being one of the leanest of the Mahjarrat, probably has core strength and broad shoulders under those pauldrons. I'd like to imagine he'd also ( as some other of his kin) would be pretty flexible and train his Praetorians to be similar and absolutely strong in the event of having to resort to physical combat or maneuvering out of capture. Most of them were born on Freneskae, a planet made of plenty of solid rock/crystal cliffs and caves, they made pilgrimages pretty often to the ritual site, so some rock climbing was probably involved as they grew. Plus, image small, child Mahjarrat, not able to teleport or be proficient in magic, just out on a day with less lightning, climbing around, chucking rocks into lava for fun. I'm getting off-topic and we'll talk about babbies some other post.

SKIN / STRIPES / SCARRATIONS.

personal interpretation body/stripe of sliske here. (mildly nsfw)

 Skin colorations are usually running the gamut of dark grey, pale grey, and dull color such as a grey-green, grey yellow and more. It's also notable that Mahjarrat are shapeshifters and are known to slowly take on the appearances of the conditions they are in for extended amounts of time; Kharshai becoming more 'viking-esque' like the Fremennik people who took him in when he was unaware he was human, and also Bilrach's warped appearance from spending god knows how long in Daemonheim with larger ridges, scarring, and some more demonic-looking features. Sliske himself has a very deep, dark slate grey skin tone from the amount of time he spends in the dark of the Shadow Realm, beginning to mimic its dusk. 

Mahjarrat have thick skin, built initially to withstand the heat and abrasion of their home world’s rocky and dangerous climate and environment, but also notably protective against icy and snow-fraught climates, as they have little to no issue or complaint at heading far North of the Fremennik Providence, near the icy fortress of Ghorrock where their ritual stone lays on Gielinor ( it's also notable that Jhallan asks the adventurer to re-seal him within a fuggin’ block of ice to rest again, proving they do not mind the cold at all ). Their skin can scar if proper regeneration is not taken to heal wounds, as Mahjarrat are known for almost instantaneously healing themselves of most wounds on the battlefield to their own volition, but this is quite rarely seen on them, sans Bilrach.  For all we know, they could be quite scarred from lack of regeneration fueled by magical energy or quite severe wounds under those robes that cover most of their body, I personally headcanon that some may have some scarring on their hands and forearms due to the might of some of the spells they use. I also personally headcanon Sliske having a pretty nasty burn across his shoulder and ribs trailing to the hip on the left side from Tumeken's explosive self-sacrifice detonation that wiped out the entirety of his army and at least 3/4ths of the Mahjarrat present, sans the ones spared by Azzanadra's quick shielding. I would think that some of them also may have suffered from similar scars due to Kharshai admitting they were tired and wounded after the event.

Striping and markings can litter their forms in sparse or rather heavy. Most Mahjarrat have at least some facial striping that can be a monochrome pale grey or darker, or a bright color such as Wahisietel's bright red trailing across his ridges to his chin spikes, Enakhra's vivid pink colorations, and Khazard's orange striping. While stripes may look similar from individual to individual you are hard-pressed to find two Mahjarrat with identical markings, and we have never heard of any twins being born from their tribe in canon ( Not saying it's not possible! But that would be a lot of strain seeing as once child is hard enough for a pair to conceive ). It's unknown if the stripes are across the rest of their bodies, but I say to hell with it. Why the hell not? Let the stripes go as angular or curvy as they please across their skin. Why limit the imagination. They are aliens. For the sake of me writing Sliske; he's a very pale silvery, parallel stripy thing under those robes with handsome slate skin. Go figure, that's jus' me though. ( Whatddya mean I made a personal ref of that?? s w e a t s?? slight warning for some not safies. )

CLAWS / FEET.

personal interpretation of sliske’s rock climbin’ sharp feets here.

Mahjarrat probably do have clawed hands and feet, and they are thick and sharp, along with strong ( most likely calloused for some ) palms and heels for climbing ( possibly before they were so proficient with teleporting ) They are also prime last resort weapons if need be and constantly need filing down on Gielinor and other terrains since they aren't around the rocky outcrops of Freneskae and using them there as much, most Mahjarrat seem to opt to wear gloves anyway. Their legs and arms are also pretty sturdy for climbing despite not needing to do so as much. I’d imagine they might just have longer toe and finger bones for mild gripping abilities when it comes to climbing. I’ve also kinda headcanoned often that they probably might have wrapped parts of their feet in bindings, just to keep things like soft arches or tendon areas save when climbing or walking. Ancient hellplanet fashion, baby.

GEMS.

Just about all Mahjarrat ( and Dreams of Mah in general ) have at least one 'crystal' or 'gemstone' in their brows or crowns ( whoever in the wiki said Sliske doesn't have one is a fraud, just because we don't see it due his V tapered hood doesn't mean it's not there, as it has been shown in several concept arts that he does have two yellow-green or 'peridotite' colored diamonds, like his half-brother’s four of the same color ). When asked about it in the Children of Mah quest, Wahisietel states that even they are not sure as to why they have them but believe it to be a direct connection to Mah. It's also implied that a dead Mahjarrat's 'crystal' often records their last thoughts or actions. Most Mahjarrat have the exact same bright iris color as their stones ( the concept art with Sliske having gold eyes throws me off, but I'd imagine there could be some minor color differences ). It seems that gemstones look-alike from siblings and offspring, as Sliske and his half-brother Wahisietel have almost the same colored crystal and shape despite Wahisietel having four diamonds to Sliske's two.

 ORGANS? OR LACK THEREOF? 

personal interpretation of nasty snake man blood here.

It's truly unknown as to just how many organs Mahjarrat have and if there is any comparison to be made to humans. It can be hypothesized they do have at least a heart ( With more chambers than a humans? Or two! Who knows! ) and lungs. If they do have lungs, it could be stated that they are very strong and made to filter out the heavy ash and debris of Freneskae's poor air quality, our adventurer had enough trouble breathing on Freneskae if you didn't take face gear. They do not seem to have a digestive tract as they do not need sustenance or hydration and perhaps have a makeshift stomach that leads nowhere as if they do eat anything, they just have to regurgitate it. Onto blood, they possibly do have a circulatory system and blood, as Lucien states he didn't 'want to spill any more Mahjarrat blood'. Normal human blood would be a bit boring so I like to imagine they have thick, dark-colored blood that has some iridescent properties to it ( not glittery, but if you have ever seen what the ink in a ballpoint pen looks like when dumped out, it has a particular shine to it. ) and never seems to be just one color, like an oil slick. Probably because it's so rich in arcane properties which would also make it pretty toxic, bitter, or awfully sickly sweet. This also means that they would blush pretty dark in color and have dark-colored tongues and etc. rather than red like humans, that's.... kinda cute.  Also, if we are talking about organs and parts, a small blurb, no, female Mahjarrat do not have boobs. There's no need since they probably do not feed their young at all. So breaking canon for the sake of biology, hi, Mahjarrat probably don't have boobs or nips. Kinda doesn’t make sense. SHRUG. But they do have belly buttons, so maybe they are gestated with umbilical cords.

THE BANE OF THE JMOD’S EXISTENCE: MAHJARRAT REPRODUCTION

Y'all wanted it Jmods yell when we ask for it, here it is: my reproduction hypothesis. We have little to no real canon lore for Mahjarrat other than that they do(?) reproduce sexually, it takes a lot of energy to do so (abt 50% physical effort, 50% the pair pooling their life energy into the event, kinda dangerous), and that they are culturally fond of breeding during earthquakes ( this was just a cultural tradition and it's probably possible to breed outside of this tradition, the jokes say it’s almost Pavlovian ). They have a specific ritual for breeding, The Ritual of Enervation. The Enervation is the foil of a Ritual of Rejuvenation where one of their kind is sacrificed to provide all others with energy and return them from their lich-like states to fleshy filled out ones, the Enervation is a pilgrimage to select a mate and breed to create a new Mahjarrat between a pair. It's slightly hinted that the pair chooses their mate based upon battle prowess or cunningness ( Zemouregal Senior chose his mate based on her skills in battle ) . Much like real animals today, they want only the strongest genetics and mutations to continue on. All of them fight each other for their pick of a mate. Very rarely do the pairs have any emotional attachment, this is rare. And the ritual still isn't pretty; I'll say it, they are rough lovers. Expect biting, scratching, bruising, and more. Kinky. Let me tell you, human genitalia are boring as hell when you are describing aliens. Phallic genitalia differs a lot from individual to individual, it's a slight 'grab bag to see what part works best for future genetics'. Mahjarrat bits are pretty internal until aroused since it makes no sense for them to be external seeing as all Mahjarrat lose a lot of skin and muscle to atrophy as they age and lose energy, so they'd do better internally and tucked away. Vaginal genitalia differs heavily as well, anything goes. Barbs? Sure. Flowery looking bits? Sure. It's aliens, guys. Go wild. Same thing with sexualities and genders, other than what they want to present themselves as, we don't know shit, so go for it. I'm fairly sure Mahjarrat really don't mind gender identity and anything goes, they see power, survival, and fighting over everything else. Sliske, of course, is male presenting and yes, has his own unique bits. Uh, ridges, bifurcated tip, fan-like appendage for preventing backflow. I'd describe more but I'm already pRETTY FUCKING SHY RIGHT NOW BC I DON'T KNOW HOW TO talk much abt this. I'm a beginner alien fucker. Give me a break. UPDATE: I went there, I no longer have shame. bc I roughly drew it.

I’m not sure what the good estimate would be when it comes to how long a Mahjarrat gestates, is it longer than a human? Quicker due to magic? We just don’t know. The birth rate is exceedingly low due to the dangers and strain of Freneskae, it's not unheard of for miscarriages or mothers to pass away from lack of energy or during the fray of the constant other tribes attacking each other. Generally, it's a duty to protect a gravid mother of the sake of population, mate or not. Putting aside your disdain for your nemesis was hard but needed if you wanted to keep your tribe thriving. Fathers don't tend to stick around after the ritual other than to check in to protect their child and future genetics as insurance. Mothers rear children and if they could get along and not spat at one another, often looked after each other's children. Maternal groups were pretty common and one could leave another to watch their kids while they went off on their duties of making lightning rods, scouting, and more. 

MISC? 

Mahjarrats don't exactly have the same bonds as humans and familial life was harsh, mainly due to the stress of knowing your own blood one day might betray you and vote you off to be the sacrifice at a ritual. They are not affectionate as much as humans and care in their own backwards way about each other if they are family, but it's an arm's length approach. Sliske and Wahisietel seem to get along and still probably have their ferocious verbal quarrels and have possibly even physically scuffled a bit over things, but managed to have concern for one another, as do Mahjarrat who are as best a definition of 'friends' can be to them. Remember that they are very paranoid of one another and usually only see eye to eye if in the same political faction or having to make a deal or coerce one another to stand up for you if you are challenged at a ritual ( later on this became a huge political agenda between the two main sides; Zamorakian or Zarosian and fighting intensified at dislike for each other ). As they evolved from their creation, they just generally became more and more mistrustful of each other to point of paranoia. So affection is incredibly weird to them and the first thought that comes from it is 'what do you want and why?' and it's expected to be a deceitful notion. Hence, Sliske is incredibly good at persuading others and using deceitful action to lure people but the moment it's done to him, he'll play along but consider it warily as false notions. Sorry not sorry, that's pretty habitual to him and will stay with him, as well as his kin. You're never going to have a 'stable relationship' with any Mahjarrat. Well, not 100% at least. You can try, they might even appreciate it if they aren’t offended.

That’s about all I wanted to say and anything left out of this word spew can be covered in other posts. Like culture.... or babbies. I have a lot to say about Babjarrats but no place right now to keep up this long shit.  UPDATE: i talked abt my thoughts on babjarrats. it was the best of my life.

[sciencenewsforstudents]

Genes are the blueprints for building the chemical machinery that keeps cells alive. That’s true for humans and all other forms of life. But did you know that with 20,000 genes, people have almost 11,000 fewer genes than water fleas? If the number of genes doesn’t predict complexity, what does?

The answer is that our genetic material contains much more than the units we call genes. Just as important are the switches that turn a gene on and off. And how cells read and interpret genetic instructions is far more complex in people than in those water fleas.

Genes and the switches that control them are made of DNA. That’s a long molecule resembling a spiral ladder. Its shape is known as a double helix. A total of three billion rungs connect the two outer strands — the upright supports — of this ladder. We call the rungs base pairs for the two chemicals (pair) from which they are made. Scientists refer to each chemical by its initial: A (adenine), C (cytosine), G (guanine) and T (thymine). A always pairs with T; C always pairs with G.

In human cells, the double-stranded DNA doesn’t exist as one gigantic molecule. It’s split into smaller chunks called chromosomes (KROH-moh-soams). These are packaged into 23 pairs per cell. That makes 46 chromosomes in total. Together, the 20,000 genes on our 46 chromosomes are referred to as the human genome.

The role of DNA is similar to the role of the alphabet. It has the potential to carry information, but only if the letters are combined in ways that make meaningful words. Stringing words together makes instructions, as in a recipe. So genes are instructions for the cell. Like instructions, genes have a “start.” Their string of base pairs must follow in a specific order until they reach some defined “end.”

Explainer: What’s on your genes

If genes are like a basic recipe, alleles (Ah-LEE-uhls) are versions of that recipe. For instance, the alleles of the “eye color” gene give directions for making eyes blue, green, brown and so on. We inherit one allele, or gene version, from each of our parents. That means most of our cells contain two alleles, one per chromosome.

But we aren’t exact copies of our parents (or siblings). The reason: Before we inherit them, alleles are shuffled like a deck of cards. This happens when the body makes egg and sperm cells. They are the only cells with just one version of each gene (instead of two), packaged into 23 chromosomes. Egg and sperm cells will fuse in a process known as fertilization. This starts the development of a new person.

Scientists Say: Chromosome

By combining two sets of 23 chromosomes — one set from the egg, one set from the sperm cell — that new person ends up with the usual two alleles and 46 chromosomes. And her unique combination of alleles will never arise in the exact same way again. It’s what makes each of us unique.But we aren’t exact copies of our parents (or siblings). The reason: Before we inherit them, alleles are shuffled like a deck of cards. This happens when the body makes egg and sperm cells. They are the only cells with just one version of each gene (instead of two), packaged into 23 chromosomes. Egg and sperm cells will fuse in a process known as fertilization. This starts the development of a new person.

A fertilized cell needs to multiply to make all of a baby’s organs and body parts. To multiply, a cell splits into two identical copies. The cell uses the instructions on its DNA and the chemicals in the cell to produce an identical DNA copy for the new cell. Then the process repeats itself many times as one cell copies to become two. And two copy to become four. And so on.

To make organs and tissues, the cells use the instructions on their DNA to build tiny machines. They control reactions between chemicals in the cell that eventually produce organs and tissues. The tiny machines are proteins. When a cell reads a gene’s instructions, we call it gene expression. A fertilized cell needs to multiply to make all of a baby’s organs and body parts. To multiply, a cell splits into two identical copies. The cell uses the instructions on its DNA and the chemicals in the cell to produce an identical DNA copy for the new cell. Then the process repeats itself many times as one cell copies to become two. And two copy to become four. And so on.

[promin-blog]

Finrod’s brilliant tactic

Finrod and the Language of Diplomacy During ‘First Contact’ – Kinship Through Music

 It just occurred to me how smart Finrod’s strategy for the First Contact of the Noldor with Men really was. Let us first reread the passages in question:

 Long Felagund watched them, and love for them stirred in his heart; but he remained hidden in the trees until they had all fallen asleep. Then he went among the sleeping people, and sat beside their dying fire where none kept watch; and he took up a rude harp which Bëor had laid aside, and he played music upon it such as the ears of Men had not heard; for they had as yet no teachers in the art, save only the Dark Elves in the wild lands.

Now men awoke and listened to Felagund as he harped and sang, and each thought that he was in some fair dream, until he saw that his fellows were awake also beside him; but they did not speak or stir while Felagund still played, because of the beauty of the music and the wonder of the song. Wisdom was in the words of the Elven-king, and the hearts grew wiser that hearkened to him; for the things of which he sang, of the making of Arda, and the bliss of Aman beyond the shadows of the Sea, came as clear visions before their eyes, and his Elvish speech was interpreted in each mind according to its measure.

(The Silmarillion)

 Even though the music Finrod plays to Men is perhaps not as sophisticated as what they are used to hearing (”he played music upon it such as the ears of Men had not heard; for they had as yet no teachers in the art”), he is still drawing at his kinship with them through the primordial, Eru’s Music.

Not only is the making of Arda said to be invoked as a vision by Finrod’s song (“for the things of which he sang, of the making of Arda, and the bliss of Aman beyond the shadows of the Sea, came as clear visions before their eyes”), the idea that the music was “interpreted in each mind according to its measure” is similar to the one we find in the Ainulindalё, concerning the Valar preparing to perform Eru’s Music:

But for a long while they sang only each alone, or but few together, while the rest hearkened; for each comprehended only that part of me mind of Ilúvatar from which he came, and in the understanding of their brethren they grew but slowly. Yet ever as they listened they came to deeper understanding, and increased in unison and harmony. 

Eru’s Music also, as Finrod’s Music, results in a vision:

Ilúvatar said to them: 'Behold your Music!' And he showed to them a vision, giving to them sight where before was only hearing; arid they saw a new World made visible before them

And Elves had a First Contact experience of their own, with the Valar. In that ‘first contact’, there was also an important musical component – Oromë did not even first see the Elves, he first heard them singing:

And Oromë wondered and sat silent, and it seemed to him that in the quiet of the land under the stars he heard afar off many voices singing.

(The Silmarillion)

Finrod seems apt in using the language of diplomacy – emphasizing similarities, not differences – which in this case happens to be ‘kinship through Music’. It is also interesting to note one of the subjects of his song - the making of Arda. While singing about the making of Arda, Finrod also performs it, reiterates it on a smaller scale - as Eru declares to the Valar the actual progression of his creation in Time:  

And it came to pass that Ilúvatar called together all the Ainur and declared to them a mighty theme, unfolding to them things greater and more wonderful than he had yet revealed; and the glory of its beginning and the splendour of its end amazed the Ainur, so that they bowed before Ilúvatar and were silent.

so does Finrod sing to the Men the history of their world.

Both of these displays seem to invoke awe in the listeners.

We too seem to be “hardwired for songs and dreams”, as Margaret Atwood’s Crake from the novel Oryx and Crake (2003) puts it. Crake couldn’t cut the genes for singing from his new sentient species, the Crakers, based mostly on the human genome. In this way, Atwood emphasizes how singing is one of the things that are inherently a human characteristic. But, what inspired this post in the first place was Werner Herzog’s movie Fitzcarraldo (1982), where the main character, Brian Fitzgerald, plays opera to the Indians living in the Amazon who never had contact with the white man. Fitzgerald does this in an effort to deter an Indian attack on his ship. Watching that movie I was irresistibly reminded of Finrod and his singing to Men. Not only did both characters use music in hopes to achieve a peaceful first contact, but from the perspective of Men, when a Noldor came among them, it was arguably like an alien came in their midst, much like white men probably seemed aliens to Indians living in the Amazon.

This begs the question: ‘What if aliens just came down signing to us humans in the ‘real world’?’

In the case alien life did exist and they wanted/could make contact with us, would it be less scary/more reassuring if they ‘landed singing’?

It is interesting to think how much we consider singing, and music in general, as one of the basic human characteristics (especially singing, since it combines language, an inherently human characteristic, with music), how much we are ‘hardwired’ for it. In the end, among such basic information as our bodies’ shapes (male and female) and planet specifics, we also sent “27 musical extracts” (http://www.lvbeethoven.com/Curiosites/Space.html) on golden phonographs on the Voyager probes in 1977 as an introductory message for extra-terrestrial civilizations. That we send a literal music record in space is quite fascinating (even though the wisdom of sending any information at all could be debated).

Both sides of one of the Voyagers’ golden phonograph plates, named The Sounds of Earth (also known as the Golden Record), looks kind of alien itself (especially the right side), but also showcases how much music is important to our human identity.

 Even though, admittedly, extra-terrestrial singing could be super freaky, it could be truly alien. I think I myself would probably scream if that would happen, if aliens came down singing. But maybe if they just played some instrumental music and I woke up gently to the sounds of my own harp, and saw an alien sitting down in the middle of our camp, completely focused on his music, I would believe they are beings at least capable of having good intentions. If nothing else, they woke me up while they had the advantage, and did not slit my throat while I was sleeping.

And this is precisely the effect Finrod might have hoped for (I always thought it interesting (and smart) that he used a harp the Men used, and not his own – true, he might not have had an instrument on him, but also, a Noldor-made instrument might sound much too different – taking the harp Men used is cautious and implies both kinship and respect for their craft.

However, a comparison of Finrod and aliens is a bit of a fake comparison. The Noldor are not really extra-terrestrial. I also argued elsewhere, that Men, Elves and even the Ainur, are actually not three different species, but the same ‘upgradeable species’, based on the upward and downward mobility between the three categories. Examples are Melian, Arwen, and also arguably Morgoth (‘killed’ like an Incarnate), and Turin (prophesized to become a Valar at the End of Days in some of the versions of Tolkien’s texts)) and the possibility of producing fertile offspring (Thingol and Melian, Aragorn and Arwen).

And, finally, Tolkien’s ‘species’ (at least Elves and Men) are literally ‘variations’ of the same song (coming into existence first as the ‘two themes’ in the world-creating Music), so it is not so surprising that music ties them and reminds them all of this kinship.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Sick for one reason or another (Fic part 19) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

Tags: @piratewithvigor please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby 'The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

Notes: The story is set in 2001, which would make Helms 27 and Kirby 31. This story also blends Kayfabe and Reality. Certain people speak in different colours, Mainly: Helms is Green. Kirby is Orange. Kane is Red. Undertaker is Purple. Big Show is Blue.

Other members of the BSK are also in purple.

Other women are in pink.

"Weed?"

"Helms, what was the thing you freaked out over? Fucking con-domssss. Do you get where I'm going with this now?"

"Oh shit, you found some that fast?"

"Wasn't that hard, to be honest."

"Unlike me earlier." He grins.

Kirby laughs, "exactly."

"I appreciate it sweetheart, thank you."

"I didn't want you freaking out or unable to find one if you needed one." Kirby murmurs, blushing pink.

"I'll probably be more okay with time. Definitely by the time we get married."

"God, that's gonna be the third time I have my name changed."

"Doesn't have to be. If you don’t want to."

"I want to, sure it's weird to think about, but I want to have the same surname as my husband."

"And I want to have the same surname as my wife. I just know that your family means more to you than mine does and maybe you'd rather I change my name." He offers simply.

"I only want you to change your name if you want to. If I change mine I will have been born, Kirby Andrea Trevor, then become Kirby Andrea Roussimoff and then married you and become, Kirby Andrea Helms."

"The Helms family I knew isn't deserving of having Kirby Andrea carry the name. You're so much better than them."

"If you want to be a Roussimoff, I won't stop you."

"I do. My surname is the last tie I have to them. I want it severed."

"So, you would like to go from Shane Helms to Shane Roussimoff?"

"I do."

"So, the future Mister Shane Roussimoff, how about we turn on the radio and chill as we drive to St Louis?"

"It'd be my pleasure, the future Mrs. Kirby Roussimoff."

Kirby smiles as she turns on the radio, the first song they hear is 'But Anyway' by Blues Traveler.

"So, Hero, ask me anything you want to know."

"What do you remember about your birth parents? Were they nice?"

"From the tapes I've seen of them, my dad worked part time as a wrestler, looked like a non-giant version of André too. My mother taught me a lot of the basics, how to talk, walk, everything. She even taught me some Irish, Scottish and Welsh."

"They sound like good people."

"I am confused by my genetics though. My father had black hair and blue eyes, my mother had ginger hair and brown eyes, how the hell am I blonde?"

"Gingers and blondes are pretty interchangeable. Recessive genes and all that."

"How do you know that?" Kirby questions, cocking an eyebrow in confusion.

"High school biology class. I liked that unit, but it wasn't quite as much fun as the natural selection unit." He shrugs.

"I think I must have missed some lessons, I liked science but mathematics was always my best class."

"Numbers have their moments. Probably would have liked it better if it had more real-world applications."

"I always thought that too, but moving on, anything else you want to know about me?"

"What was Japan like? I've never been."

"Everything was smaller than me. Every single door was smaller than me. It was cool, training under Giant Baba was cool, but, I hit my head so many times that I developed that thing I do where I duck through every single door."

"I did notice you always duck a lot lower than the doorway goes."

"I'm six-foot-ten and have twice knocked myself out by hitting my head on door frames."

"Jesus, twice?"

Kirby nods, finding herself unable to look at Helms due to her shame at her history of injuries.

"I mean, I'm no stranger to knocking myself out, but I've never accomplished it with a doorframe yet. Doors themselves is a different story. Also managed it with the use of an axe, a fridge, and twice with a dog and a tree."

"What ... how .... huh?"

"Doors that open in a different way than I expect have gotten me on my ass a few times, but only knocked me out fully once. The axe was when I was splitting wood and the log came back the wrong way, so I guess it was with a log. The fridge was because it was stupid humid and the fridge was really cold and the suction wouldn't let the door open, so I hit myself in the head when I finally yanked it. The last one is cause it was my job to walk the dog growing up, but if it was too hot, I would bike alongside him instead to make it go faster. On two occasions, he ran one way around a tree when I biked the other way and we got wrapped around and I fell off my bike."

"Oh... uhh... this may be a weird thing to say after all of that, but ... I've never had a dog ... or any pets really..."

"Well, you travelled a lot. It wouldn't exactly be right to have one around if you were never home. Just like how I haven't had one since becoming a wrestler."

"You probably had a closer to 'normal' life before becoming a wrestler, didn't you?"

"I suppose comparatively. First 16 years were pretty normal."

"I ... I don't think I've ever had a 'normal' life. When I was eight my parents died and then I was adopted by André. When I was ten I fell off a ladder and hit a rock so hard it created the X-shaped scar on my left eyebrow. When I was fifteen, I was six feet tall. I started working in Japan at sixteen. I was stabbed in the right thigh at eighteen. I had my top lip split open when I was twenty one, hence that scar. I came back to America at twenty three and started wrestling for the WWF. That same year I had a brawl with someone in a bar, that ended with me getting the scars on my other eyebrow. I got my first tattoo at eighteen and kept getting them after that, not caring about the pain, I just wanted to have memories inked on my flesh."

"At least your injuries came from logical sources and not human stupidity like mine."

"Helms, stop the car, pull in at the next truck stop or something, please?"

"Of course. You okay?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Kirby murmurs.

"Oh god..." He guns the gas a little extra and makes it to the next truck stop, parking quickly.

Kirby rushes out of the car and throws up in the nearest trash can.

He follows slowly and rubs gentle circles on her back. "That's-a girl. Get it all out..." He murmurs.

"Fuck" Kirby mutters, her breathing heavy and ragged.

"How long have you been feeling like that?" He whispers.

"The last ten minutes." Kirby murmurs.

"Want me to get you some water?"

Kirby nods, trying to calm her breathing. He dashes back to the car for a bottle of water and brings it back, handing it to his girl.

Kirby takes a swig, swishing it around her mouth and gargling it before spitting into the trash can, "fuck..." she whispers, wiping tears from her eyes and saliva from around her mouth.

"Suppose I should have asked if you have a tendency to get road sick."

"That's the thing, I don't get road sick. I've never done that before, ever."

"You've only had toast and coffee this morning... I'd suspect the bread might have been bad, but it looked fine to me."

"I have no idea, I don't feel sick. Sure the past ten minutes I felt sick, now, nothing. A little lightheaded but, that's all."

"Think you feel up to eating something else? I mean, we're here and everything and I know it isn't going to be a lot better than our road snacks, but I'd still feel better if I knew you had some kind of real food in there."

"Sure, anything, I don't care what we have, but anything's better than nothing."

"Eggs are gonna keep you fullest the longest. And I've never known a truck stop to fuck up eggs. Think you lose the name on the sign if you do."

Kirby smiles a little, her skin still a little paler than usual and a little colder but she's trying her hardest to keep composed. Helms keeps a hold of her hand as he leads her inside, freaking out quietly, but refusing to show it outwardly. The sudden illness is ringing alarms in his head, but he's trying to dismiss them as quickly as possible. This can't be morning sickness; Kirby can't be pregnant yet. It'd only been a few days since they had first started boning. Pregnancy symptoms didn't happen so fast. The couple enter a small café, Helms getting Kirby a plate of eggs on toast and paying for it before she can protest to him paying. It's his turn to just have toast and a beverage. Apple juice and buttered toast, just to pass the time while she eats and he can watch her intently.

Kirby slowly gets through the meal, pausing to burp before speaking, "Je-Zus... sorry about doing that, I don't know why that happened."

"As long as you're not dying, don't worry about it. And thank you for humouring me through this meal."

Kirby looks away from him, not wanting to look him in the eye when she feels so ashamed of herself, "Helms ... I... I... ugh, I don't know how to say this without it sounding stupid but, I haven't been sick since high school, and that was because I got in a fight and got kicked in the stomach like a million times."

"Do you want to call ahead to St. Louis and set up an appointment with the company doctor?"

"Yes ... please" Kirby whispers.

"Finish up here, I'll go make the call."

Kirby continues to eat, feeling like she's going insane or something close to insanity. Helms calls Vince outside. He relates how he really hopes it's just some kind of bug or food poisoning, but wants to double-check just in case. Vince agrees to get them set up with the physician for a quick examination when they arrive. When Helms comes back to her, Kirby is finished with her food and all but certain that she's being stared at.

Helms sits down beside her instead of across the table, pulling her into a gentle side-hug. "We've got about 6 more hours to St. Louis. The doctor's gonna be waiting when we get there. How're you feeling?" His intentions are to make her pay attention to him only and not whoever may be staring.

"I feel like my head is spinning." Kirby whispers.

"Gonna hurl again or just woozy from dehydration?"

"Dehydration" Kirby whispers.

"Get yourself some more water."

Kirby shows him the empty bottle, "there's a couple more bottles in the car"

"Get down as many as you can."

Helms gets up and helps Kirby back to the car, watching her for a couple minutes as she drinks another full bottle of water before opening a third bottle.

"Think you'll be good for a few hours?"

Kirby nods, before drinking more water.

"Good girl." He murmurs, starting up the car.

Helms gets them back on the road and Kirby pulls her sketchbook out to flip through and find an empty page. It's a mostly silent, very peaceful drive as the go through the fields of the Midwest to Missouri. Kirby starts sketching out another portrait, occasionally drinking water.

"About an hour left to go. How're you doing?" Helms asks, sneaking a glance over at her.

Kirby's nearly finished a portrait of Helms, a full body nude portrait of Helms, and is drinking their final bottle of water.

Catching a glimpse of her page, he starts blushing deeply. "Looks good." He manages to squeak out.

"Hmm?" Kirby notices how red Helms has gone and immediately covers the portrait with her arms, "you weren't supposed to see it." Kirby whispers.

[adwdwd]

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[jmtorres]

so i was grocery shopping (I have tested negative for covid for two days! I was grocery shopping) and decided to get ingredients for this and make it. Me in the grocery store, remembering I don't drink red or have any opinions about good reds: fuck where's @niqaeli's favorite?

[img ID: bottle of wine, Bogle Petite Sirah. end ID]

Then when I got home I was like okay i need to make it now because a) there's not that much room in the fridge for all the ingredients and b) i will suffer an out of sight out of mind problem and forget to make it if i do not do it now.

i made a few changes which probably impacted the authentic bourgieness of it, but it still came out good. the first change was uh. I opened up the recipe and went "oh right lardons???" At the store I had not bothered to look up what lardons actually are, knew my store would not provide pancetta, and figured I had bacon at home. And I do have bacon at home but I didn't want to deal with it so I just dropped a stick (4 oz) of butter in the dutch oven and started melting it while I unpacked the groceries, then cooked up the meat in it.

[image ID: a square black plate of well-browned beef chunks. end ID]

(I was slightly short of three pounds of meat when I started--the packages of stew meat I liked the color of best totaled about 2.75 lbs-- but I confess I also ate a few smaller chunks while I was cooking it up. It was just so good.)

The next change I made was adding potatoes to the carrot and onion. Partially because I had potato around the house and wanted to use it up and stew, in my house, is always a reason to use things up, and partially because I had also recently watched this guy, who was making a fairly similar stew except for the wine base. Here's my vegetable cook up:

[image ID: pot of sliced carrot and chopped potato chunks, speckled with garlic and onion. end ID]

In addition to taking OP's advice about getting frozen pearl onions so you don't have to peel them, I also paid the ADHD tax upfront on the onion and garlic here. I got a cup of pre-chopped onion fresh (you can get it frozen and it's cheaper, but the frozen chopped onion is the harshest, strongest onion mankind grows, whereas at my grocery store you can pick from different colors/varieties of onion that they've pre-chopped! i got a sweet yellow). And uh. My ADHD tax on garlic is basically paid in perpetuity.

[image ID: 2 lb jar of minced garlic. end ID]

The next change I made was omitting the tomato paste.

In all fairness, I had actually bought some! But when I actually read the recipe and it said one teaspoon of tomato paste I was like are you fucking kidding me, I'm not gonna open a 6 oz can of tomato paste to use one teaspoon of it and end up throwing the rest away because I hard ever effing use it. Then I just added a bit more liquid from the minced garlic jar, because the point of adding tomato paste to a stew is to add acid to help break things down, and the garlic is preserved in citric acid, so I figured that would do.

After a bit of trying to fiddling around trying to get the foil off the wine bottle, I finally got it open and put things together. Here's what it looked like before it went into the oven:

[image ID: a pot filled with dark red liquid and chunks of the earlier seen brown meat, with a few bits of potato visible as well. Several green stems of thyme sit atop. end ID]

I got fresh thyme and bay leaf because fresh herbs were $1.19 each at the store. Then I threw the whole packs in instead of one stem of thyme and one bay leaf because like. Fresh herbs don't keep and to be honest I've never thought "you know that was too herby, I wish I'd used less herb" about a dish. (I did not actually get parsley because uh, it does nothing for me? I sometimes wonder if I've pulled a backwards version of the cilantro gene, because I love cilantro but parsley sometimes tastes like soap to me. So that was another change. I omitted the parsley.)

I left it in the oven for an hour before I pulled it out to stir up the meat. A fair amount of the liquid had evaporated by then and I couldn't get everything under liquid--probably partly because I added potatoes so there was more solids, and partly because I live at about 5500 ft altitude and the boiling point is 10 degrees lower. I added two cups of chicken broth to help the liquid-solid ratio, and because it was in my fridge and needed used. (Also in the back of my brain I was like, maybe this makes up for not having lardon/bacon/whatever for additional salt/protein flavoring? --I used unsalted butter at the beginning.)

As op suggests I doubled the mushrooms (by the way I had to look up crimini mushrooms to figure out an alternative in the store, and I found that crimini is the same as "baby bella" which was right there in stock. Apparently our standard white button mushrooms, crimini mushrooms, and full-grown bella mushrooms are all the same mushroom at different stages of its growth. Kind of like green bell peppers are unripe yellow/orange/red bell peppers?). I didn't quite double the pearl onions--the package I got was 14 oz, and the main reason I put it all in was because I didn't have any room in the freezer to store the remainder.

The main stew and mushroom/onion skillet just before combination (ie, after I have plucked as many thyme stems and bay leaves as I could find out of the main stew):

[image ID: in the foreground, a pot of a brown stew with darker brown chunks of meat, orange carrots, green thyme leaves, and maroon-stained potatoes. in the background, a skillet of sauteed mushrooms and pearl onions, out of focus. end ID]

I think it's really neat that the potatoes took up the red wine color!

Here's the final mixed stew:

[image ID: the stewpot has carrots, potatoes, dark chunks of meat, sliced mushrooms visible, much less brown broth showing around all these components. end ID]

I felt like a lot of the mushroom was sticking to the skillet and I kept thinking I wish I'd held back a little wine or a little chicken broth to deglaze the pan. Then I got the stewpot out of the oven and was like, or I could just spoon some of the liquid out of the stew to deglaze the pan? It wasn't 100% effective but it worked pretty well. Lots of good dark mushroom bits I got to scrape into the stew.

So, how did it come out? Quite liked the potatoes and carrots, the mushrooms rarely stood out as their own thing, the meat was fantastic--I only wish I'd cut some of the pieces smaller to begin with, because while it will fall apart in your mouth, it didn't fall apart in the pot, which I had sort of expected?--and the liquid was amazing. I don't usually like. slurp all the soup liquid down after I've eaten all the chunks of things in it but this I actually did. The only thing I was iffy on (and I knew going into it I would be) was the pearl onions, but I did try a couple and was pleasantly surprised to find they were really sweet, no oniony sharpness at all! I still left like half a dozen in the bowl because eating too many onions will give me GERD, but as a flavor they did not hurt me.

Dear Mr. Flansburgh, I have wanted to cook lately. I just wanted to ask, what foods would you recommend?

Sincerely, Banks

JF: Even though this is really a winter dish, it was the first thing I thought of.

This is one of those dishes that is a meal in itself and absolutely better reheated the second day, so sometimes I double the recipe so there is freezable and repeatable meals.

In recent years I've also taken to doubling the mushrooms and the onions, which just makes more variety in the final result.

Some tips

-Be sure to get "chuck" beef which braises and falls apart the way stewed meat should. "Better" meat isn't actually better here.

In recent years I've also taken to doubling the mushrooms and the onions, which just makes more variety in the final result.

-Pearl onions are in two parts of the store. The fresh ones are a bit of a production to peel-so get a bag of Green Giant frozen pearl onion. So simple, and not that different.

-It is a lot of steps, so I would do a full "mise en place" which is to say measure out ALL the ingredients in dishes BEFORE you start the cooking process so you won't forget or be overwhelmed as some new challenge comes up (no mice will be harmed)

-And finally-while the sophistication of the red wine you use to cook with here doesn't matter that much, the actual qualities of the wine does matter. A fuller bodied wine is what you want. One "big" wine that is relatively cheap and ubiquitous is that Coppola wine, but an Australian shiraz, or a Spanish Rioja will fit the bill. Don't make this with a lighter red-no pinot noir or Beaujolais.

Now do it!

[himbowelsh]

easy co as kids? 👦👦

Dick Winters

actual angel child

there’s a real story in dick’s book about him as a child: he used to round up a pen of imaginary “sheep” in the backyard. he would give them names and everything, and always remembered exactly which sheep was which. he treated them like they were real.

a very thoughtful kid, sort of cautious. never too rambunctious. he didn’t cause any problems in school.

the kid whose parents give him a banana as a joke, and he’s absolutely thrilled.

he wasn’t a straight-A student, just because he didn’t put too much effort into it. he had more important things to think about than school– family, friends, people in general, things he was interested in. it’s not that he didn’t care, just that he didn’t care enough.

was very close to his parents and grandparents. they sort of doted on him – never spoiled him – but he was definitely the apple of their eyes.

his hair started off blond, and only got redder as he grew older.

a very active kid. he would ride his bike everywhere, always played outside, and grew up to be physically strong.

Lewis Nixon

sad, sad little boy with the biggest doe eyes you’ve ever seen.

as a child, people really did not pay baby nix much attention. which is a shame, because the kid was sharp as a tack – one of those dangerously smart kids, the ones who don’t do as well in school because they question the point early-on.

because of this, nix was written off as a lazy child. he was given tutors he didn’t need (and tortured them, of course). meanwhile his mother was off busying herself with socialite events, and his father was gambling and drinking the business into a hole.

his sister blanche was given a bit more attention, but lewis never rivalled her for it. they were both pretty isolated throughout their childhoods.

he had a mischievous streak a mile wide. he knew how to play pranks and not get caught for them. he used to terrorize the house maids by putting spiders in their beds and hot pepper in their food. he even pranked his parents a few times. he had to take his fun where he could get it.

had a lot of imaginary friends, but always knew that they weren’t real.

he used to get nightmares a lot, and even wet the bed a few times. he’d scream and scream, but the only people who would ever come help him were the maids. after a while, lewis learned to calm himself down.

Carwood Lipton

actual angel child pt. deux

carwood grew up in a really nice, normal home. he had one little brother, and the two of them always played together with the neighborhood kids. 

they formed a bit of a group, all the kids who lived in carwood’s neighborhood. carwood was never the leader; he took on a big-brother role in the group, looking out for the little ones and making sure they kept up.

his father loved cars. carwood always used to help him fix the shiny ford car he bought when his first son was born. carwood learned a lot about automobiles from his father, as well as how to put various things together. carwood’s father was a psuedo-inventor. he taught carwood a lot about how to make things, and he got his interest in engineering from him.

(carwood had a crush on the little girl who lived next door, so he used to put together tiny metal figurines and give them to her as presents.)

he also loved to help his mother around the house. not actual chores – he couldn’t stand those – but she found out he had an eye for details, so started to teach him how to sew. they also loved baking together. carwood’s mother taught him how to make cakes, cookies, and all sorts of delicious things.

after the car accident which killed carwood’s father and put his mother in a wheelchair, carwood grew up fast.

he had to learn how to be the man of the house. he took on responsibilities of cooking, cleaning, and towing his family through the depression.

when his mother opened up the boarding house to make ends meet, he did everything he could to help. carwood learned how to look after people from a young age, and that was a quality he kept for the rest of his life.

Ronald Speirs

“does this kid ever smile wtf” “honey i think we may have given birth to one of the children of the corn” “we could just leave the baby and run it might be safer for everyone”

no, actually, speirs was a pretty normal kid.

he was a little antisocial, didn’t get along well with his peers. he was always more interested in reading than making friends.

teachers always used to remark on how serious he was. his parents were a little worried, and thought moving from scotland to america would do him good.

ron didn’t adjust to the move well. he retreated into himself even more, and didn’t do much socially.

that one kid with REALLY OBSESSIVE interests. like, he was obsessed with roman history for a while. then it was greek mythology. egyptian gods. foreign languages.

(at the age of twelve he actually managed to teach himself spanish?? like, really well?? wtf)

he wasn’t very social, but didn’t need to be. he rarely got lonely.

Harry Welsh

small irish devil

had really red hair as a kid, it lightened over time. his mother used to call him her “little leprechaun”.

he was a wild child. he was always getting into things he shouldn’t, teasing people, and causing trouble.

he was the kid who would make fun of the girls he liked. he was never really mean, but he used to tap on their shoulders and run away, or throw paper balls at them and laugh when it hit him in the back of the head.

he teased a LOT of people, actually. he got in more than a few fights.

(even though he was smaller than a lot of the other kids, he didn’t lose often.)

he always had a lot of friends growing up. he hated to be alone, so he made a point of surrounding himself with people. as a natural people person, this came naturally to him.

harry used to sing to himself all the time. he loved singing and dancing as a kid, and he’d often coerce his family members into having “dance parties” with him whenever he heard music playing.

had a stuffed giraffe toy that he freaking adored. like, it didn’t leave his side for an entire year. he named it Wuzzle, and it was his favorite thing in the world.

Wuzzle suffered a sad fate when he fell down a gutter and was never seen again. harry cried for an entire week straight.

(he never really got over it.)

Eugene Roe

he was a very fighty child

he took a long time to develop good impulse control, so he was pretty mischievous and rash. not exactly a wild child, but he came close enough to cause everyone grief.

he was always the kid coming home with a black eye and scraped knees. he never started the fights on the playground, but wasn’t afraid to get involved – usually on behalf of someone who was getting picked on.

used to get a kick out of teasing his big sisters. he’d pull their hair, hide their toys, and wrinkle their dresses. they would always shriek and run him off if he tried to play with them, so they kind of deserved it.

his parents fought a lot, so he was very close with his grandmother. she taught him a lot – about faith, healing, and things just beyond what most people can see.

she was the one who taught gene the power of a calm face and a cool head. she helped him learn to reign himself in and gave him ways to express his anger besides hitting things. she taught him prayers, introduced him to his religion, and overall helped gene grow up.

she died when gene was fifteen, and he was left devastated. 

Babe Heffron

basically the human version of a puppy.

that’s the whole heffron family, tbh. just like a whole litter of rowdy little puppies, with mama and papa heffron being like “WHOA, where’d all these gingers come from?!”

the baby with no center of balance. he fell over a lot. just, like. on his face.

he didn’t learn to sit up until his parents literally strapped baby babe to one of his toys to keep him upright.

babe was a rowdy kid. he was always getting into everything – he had no sense of “touch vs. do not touch”

he had the creamiest skin as a little boy, and only got freckled when he fell in love with playing outside. he was the kid always covered in dirt and mud, and it’s like??? where are you finding all this?? we live in a city???

he has his ways

knew his way around philly from a really early age. he was always finding shortcuts, darting through alleys, running a little wild.

as a kid, he used to shoplift. like, it was his thing, and tied into the “touch vs do not touch” thing. he just started taking anything he liked when he went into stores, didn’t get caught, and… kept doing it. he didn’t realize it was wrong until his mother caught him one day and almost threw him out of the car.

needless to say, he never took anything that didn’t belong to him again.

had a really big imagination. he used to imagine monsters in his closets, ghosts under his bed, and fairies outside his bedroom window. his grandmother used to tell him stories about irish fae, so that probably explains a bit.

bawled like a banshee when he found out santa didn’t exist. he never quite got over it. 

Bill Guarnere

the most adorable brat

seriously, have you read bill’s book? Baby Bill was a BLAST okay this dude was awesome from the day he was born

he is the youngest of many, many siblings, and knows how to use this to his advantage. very good at getting what he wants, and not above crying to do so. he’s got those big baby brown eyes, so it works to his advantage. 

absolute mama’s boy, to the extreme. he’d help his mother with everything he could, and she always gave him a little extra attention because of it. she’s the one who taught him how to cook.

very sociable, so he knew all the neighbors. he was the kid to tease the hunchbacked old woman who lived next door, but as soon as she dropped her groceries he’d be right there to pick them up for her.

was the leader of a pack of kids who ran through the city like wild children. they sometimes clashed with babe’s group of friends, actually, but it was always friendly after all was said and done. no grudges were held.

he was a total flirt. he used to hit on all the pretty neighborhood girls – that’s actually how he met frannie, who was the first one to not only flirt with him back, but could keep up with his fast mouth.

Joe Toye

joe was the baby of the family.

he was never pampered for it, but he had to endure the attention of two older sisters who treated him like their doll half the time. many unwilling games of dress up and tea party were played. any time they played camelot, joe had to be the damsel in distress while his sisters got to be dragons and knights.

okay, i’m just gonna be honest

joe was a biter.

like, not even as a baby. he bit one of the kids in kindergarten. joe just didn’t care. he was kind of nuts.

he actually had more than a few discipline problems growing up. he didn’t like to sit still, didn’t have much patience, and preferred to be running around. he was a tough kid to handle.

he grew out of it, however. by the time he got to middle school he was less bratty and more quiet. he wasn’t really sullen, but he was no social butterfly.

in high school, he had a small group of friends, and he was an athlete, so he found his niche. but he always kept to himself a bit; he was very hesitant to open up to people and reveal parts of himself that he didn’t think anyone would like.

George Luz

very, very, very precocious child

“georgie, baby, we love you. just… go somewhere else for a little while, okay?”

george immediately climbs a tree and gets stuck.

“that’s not what we meant, georgie.”

in a family of ten kids, it would be really easy to be overshadowed, especially when you’re smack in the middle. right???

WRONG. try to forget about george luz. like. just try. it’s not possible.

george made himself visible by any means possible. he was kid of an attention hog, and if he had to resort to underhanded tactics (fake-crying, being the sweetest of all his siblings) to get it, he would.

grew up in a portuguese neighborhood, with a family that spoke mostly portuguese around each other. he didn’t actually learn english until he started school, around six years old. he took to it like a duck to water. (yes, this is a true thing)

was that one kid who teachers were always telling to “calm the fuck down” in less-explicit terms.

had an irrational fear of snakes. he would scream like a banshee every time one showed up in a picture book he was reading. (it’s all tied into a childhood trauma involving his oldest brother, a rubber snake, and his crib. george doesn’t like talking about it.)

as a baby, he used to babble to himself all the time. even in his sleep, he would be muttering things.

constantly asking questions. like, not even because he’s curious, just because he wants to talk.

had a weird habit of throwing his toys. he frequently hit people with them, on purpose or not. he grew out of it (mostly).

David Webster

The Book Kid

he was born with eyes that blue, and they never faded to a different color.

a very, very curious child. always asking questions. kind of annoying, doesn’t really know how to take a hint.

that’s only after he gets past his initial layer of shyness. and web was a really shy kid. he had a lot of thoughts, a lot of opinions, and could be a total chatterbox when he got going –

but very few people could get him going. very few people even knew how to get him started.

web always had a few close friends in school, but he drifted a lot. he talked a lot to his parents, but some of his ideas were too creative for them to understand. he told stories about aliens, about pirates, about monsters.

it got to the point where they were really concerned about what he was reading –he had a reading level suited to a high schooler when he was in second grade – so they started looking at his books.

that’s when they realized that david wasn’t telling stories from books. he was making them up.

web was also very observant. he noticed things about people, and filed them away for later. that’s a trait he never lost.

Joseph Liebgott

adorable, to an alarming degree

okay, first off, joe was definitely a chubby baby. he was like… a tiny roly-poly ball of cuteness, and he kept this up until he learned how to move.

that was the end of “oh my god, what an angel,” and the beginning of “is this a toddler or a demon?”

he just had a LOT of energy, and as soon as he figured out how to walk he spent it in every way he could. no naps for baby joe – he crashed like a helicopter. 

he lost all his baby fat early on, and became a very skinny kid. he was the type of kid who people would worry about, like he wasn’t eating enough. people always use to try to push food on him, and joe had an appetite like a lion, so he loved it.

he was kind of a playground bully. not mean-spirited, exactly, but childishly cruel. he used to make fun of the bookish kids. (kids like web, basically.)

that said, he also had really, really sweet moments. for as much as he made fun of some kids, he was also very defensive of smaller kids. he was a very protective, loyal friend, and would help out in the classroom at random.

thanks to this, people loved him despite his hyperactivity and immaturity. he was always a favorite of teachers, and doted on by his mother and grandparents.

Shifty Powers

actual baby deer

shifty is the second of five kids, but the fact that he’s his mother’s favorite isn’t much of a secret. he’s the sweetest natured of all the powers kids, and he’s been that way since he was a baby.

he was pretty shy throughout elementary school. he didn’t talk much, and didn’t do phenomenally in school, but he made up for it by being a good classmate and friend.

has one little sister who he dotes on. when he was little, his mother let him hold her for the first time, and that’s when he totally fell in love. ever since, he takes care of her every chance he gets – for she drops a toy, he picks it up. if she needs to be fed, he volunteers to do it.

“If you don’t know the horse girl, you are the horse girl.”

Shifty was the horse girl.

he LOVED animals. he had a pet bunny when he was a little boy that he used to carry around everywhere. (he found it abandoned, so his mother helped him raise it, and the bunny adored shifty as much as he adored it)

going hunting with his father was hard for him at first, because he didn’t want to hurt animals. gradually he got to understand the circle of life, and it gave him a deeper understanding of life and death. it wound up being beneficial for him, to everyone’s surprise.

Floyd Talbert

okay basically

you know who tab is

that one kid who always flirts with you while your babysitting and it’s a little uncomfortable because he’s like five but is still smoother than most guys your age

had his first girlfriend in pre-school, and his first kiss in first grade. bby boy moves fast.

tab had some serious attachment issues for a while. he was afraid of being left alone, because he got it in his head for some reason that his parents would not come back

they couldn’t leave him with anyone else for a long time because he’d throw a tantrum. going to school was really hard for him, at first, but only after he got used to being away from home did this problem lessen.

by the time he reached his teens, he was perfectly adjusted. tab always had a lot of girlfriends, and a lot of friends. he was one of the popular boys in school.

Bull Randleman

was a very, very small baby

a preemie, actually! doctors weren’t sure if he was going to survive, and if he did, they told his parents that he would never be physically strong.

WELL.

he sure showed them.

bull had his moments of rambunctiousness, but he was a pretty easy kid.

had a lot of siblings, so he was looked after by the older ones and took care of the little ones. he was the best big brother.

didn’t go through his growth spurt until late middle school, which took everybody by surprise. he went from runt of the litter to being taller than the teacher in a few months. it was wild.

used to get the worst growing pains, so his mother would always lay him down flat and massage all the aches out. by the time he grew up, bull knew how to give a damn good massage.

actually pretty good in school. he was quiet, but he paid attention, and was a good student in all of his subjects.

Buck Compton

actual ray of sunshine

seriously, everyone loved buck.

do i even have to say he was one of the popular kids? he was popular in elementary school. everyone wanted to be buck’s friend, and that was cool, because buck was a really great friend.

he was really sensitive when he was little. there’s always that one kid in every elementary school class who will cry over everything. EVERY class has that kid, and for like three years, that kid was buck.

he just got very emotional, okay? because he loved everyone a lot and wanted everyone to be nice but sometimes people weren’t nice –

and sometimes his crayons broke and sometimes he couldn’t find a shoe and sometimes it RAINED and it was all a lot for buck to handle

but he was such a friendly kid that it didn’t matter. like, he was not shy whatsoever. he had no fear of going up and talking to people. he was the friendliest kid ever.

he was always surrounded by friends, all the time. he drew people to him like flies to honey.

Skip Muck

actual ray of sunshine pt. deux

he got his name because he skipped everywhere he went. he never walked anywhere.

he was also a really cheerful kid – and funny, genuinely funny. he was sort of a class clown, but he was never meanspirited towards anyone.

a very musical child. when his father was still around (before he left the family to become a travelling musician, because that’s totally a thing you do) he used to sit skip on his knee and sing songs with him for hours. he taught skip how to play the guitar.

skip loved to sing. he knew all sorts of songs, and anytime he saw his mother looking sad, he’d ask her if she wanted to sing with him.

hated bullies. if he saw anyone picking on another person, he’d snap at them; he wasn’t afraid to get into a physical fight if it came to that.

had the curliest hair as a little boy – like, bouncy waves that were always falling in his face. one day he got lice and had to have his head shaved. after that, it grew back much straighter.

Don Malarkey

okay, don was bald as an egg until he was like two years old

he also didn’t talk for a couple years. like, at all

no one knew what was going on

he was just. donny. his family sort of treated him like a doll. they’d carry him around, bounce him on their hips, and just sort of dote on him while he’d give them great big gummy smiles.

he took a really long time for his teeth to come in, too.

don was the smiliest baby. he was so cheerful, and making him laugh was the easiest thing in the world…until he started teething.

dear, god, the teething

his mother swears that he cried for a month straight. it was torment. no one in his neighborhood slept. don was as red as his (slowly coming in) hair, and he basically had no need to breathe at that point.

as he got older, he became more normal. he started talking, walking, and then just never stopped moving. he was a pretty energized kid – he hated naps – and his parents favorite way of tiring him out was just letting him bounce on the couch until he collapsed.

he was really good at making friends. always a really cheerful kid, don has a sunshine grin and an easygoing nature that drew people to him. he didn’t excel in school, but people liked him because he was such a sweet, helpful boy. 

[genocidershodan]

Someone on this Star Trek group posted a thread “Name 8 things you thought was wrong with the new Star Trek movies and explain why”.

A lot of you have probably heard me mention that I really hate Into Darkness, but I don’t know if I’ve really talked about why.

Everyone's got their opinion so here's my version.

Basically, Beyond was great, and 2009 was ok. It failed at Star Trek but at least was able to be a good space adventure film. My big problem lies with Into Darkness, which fails miserably at being Star Trek, problems carried over from 2009 and amplified, and fails miserably at being a film.So for the purposes of this exercise I'll focus on Into Darkness but boy oh boy is there so much more than this.

1. MILITARY EMBLEMISM IN MAH STARFLEET. Not much more to say really. It's pretty self evident, the grey uniforms everyone has with the shoulder ranks. Starfleet is not a military organisation, and Gene Roddenberry wanted to completely disassociate Starfleet from military. In designing the uniforms he wanted them to not be recognisable as any type of military uniform, and the command structure of Starfleet is modelled after the Merchant Navy instead of any military.

2. A PORTABLE DEVICE THE SIZE OF A SUITCASE THAT CAN WARP KHAN FROM EARTH TO QO'NOS. This is the dumbest world breaking device I've ever heard of. I don't need to even describe how much this breaks the Star Trek universe.  And the only real function this can seem to serve is so they can have Klingons which leads me right into...

3. A PLOT DRIVEN ENTIRELY BY CONTRIVENCES BUILT AROUND MAKING AS MANY REFERENCES AS POSSIBLE. There's nothing of substance here. It's a revenge story. There's no character arcs, dropped plot threads, nonsensical series of events. During my first viewing of this movie I found myself continually asking "What are you doing? Why are you going there? What is happening?", and 90% of the time the answer is because the plot says so. And the whole thing is jam packed with vapid moments and shout outs. Urgh, why did they copy the kirk/spock hand on glass scene without understanding why it was such a powerful moment. But they screwed it up by reversing the script. (I suppose they thought it was a twist). It's so much more meaningful that Spock put his Vulcan salute against the glass first and then Kirk puts his hand against that, but they fucking screwed it up.And then they just pull a rewind and bring him back because they decided to, for some ungodly fucking reason, test the blood on a bloody tribble. What the fuck is a tribble doing just sitting on the enterprise having random blood tested on it for fucks sake? How the fuck could Khan from the 1990's help starfleet build more advanced ships? Why did they bring back Leonard Nimoy just so he could tell Zachary Quinton that Khan is not a cool guy. god damnit I hate this fucking movie.

4. CHARACTERS STRIPPED DOWN TO THEIR POP CULTURAL OSMOSIS This is usually the hardest to discuss because to be quite frank there's not a lot to most of the characters. Like nothing much is explained about Chekov's history other than he's Russian. Scotty was the Scottiest Scotsmen that drank Scotch. Uhura was calm and friendly and among the most affectionate members of the crew. But I guess the writers now decided she needs to be a sassy black lady. Spock is now struggling to deal with his human side, and also his unemotional tranquility seems to have translated into some kind of meanness. Kirk? What have they done to you? You know back on the show he was poetic, passionate, professional. He was a very by the book captain. Did you guys know that back in his academy days he was much more akin to a bookish nerd than a jock? He even had an upperclassmen who regularly bullied him.

5. THE USS VENGEANCE This is the stupidest design I've ever seen. Why the fuck is it so big? It's designed to be operated by a skeleton crew and even by 1 person. It's so needlessly big. What the hell is it so big for? All that is doing is providing a larger target and larger surface area that requires maintenance. And it's mostly all just empty space. Why isn't it in a smaller compact design allowing for maneuverability where all the components are more tightly packed together with no weak spots like a real Starfleet warship (see Defiance)Why is the bridge now a weak spot from both the top and the bottom?

6. KHAN NOONIEN SINGH'S ETHNICITY Yep, there we go, why won't you cast Indian actors for Indian characters?

7. THE TREATMENT OF WOMEN Come on guys. If a TV show from the 1960's treats its female characters with more dignity and respect than its counter part made today, you've got a problem. Into Darkness doesn't even pass the Bechdel test. Where's Janice Rand? Where's Christine Chapel? Oh and they totally just decided that she only became a nurse because she was one of Kirk's past conquests. Blah. It seems kinda telling that the female uniforms don't have rank bands. 8.THE WHOLE MARKETING REGARDING KHAN.You know, this one kind of sticks as a sore point for me. Because I was one of those few people who said "No, it's not Khan." in the lead up to this movie. I was actually quite convinced it was going to be Gary Mitchell. And I don't really know why everyone was so sure it was going to be Khan. Maybe I'm too naive and actually believed them when they said that it wasn't going to be him. But I went through the evidence and found more to indicate that he wasn't Khan than that he was. (like his ethnicity, but that's a dead horse now). I remember thinking "If it turns out to be a twist that he was actually Khan, that would be the stupidest thing ever." And then I saw the movie, and the reality was so much worse.

[swimmylionni]

Unsong describes mental illness. This is not a coincidence.

This could be triggering if you’ve experienced depression, psychosis, or suicidal ideation.

A couple years ago, a song told me to kill myself.

This isn’t a song Tipper Gore could have tried to censor for its dark message. There are no lyrics telling the listener to kill themselves, as far as I know. It’s entirely in Japanese, and screamed quite unintelligibly--I have no idea what they’re saying at all. Maybe some people hear lyrics about suicide, like Gallows’ Death Voices, and take the suggestion to heart. That’s not what happened here. This was more holistic.

Unsong is pretty good and you should read it. You will learn things, probably. Here’s a passage from one of my favorite chapters. It’s a bit long.

The Talmud says that God created the Torah nine hundred seventy-four generations before He created the world. Generations of who, I don’t know. The Talmud is kind of crazy.

But the Torah is basically a few short stories about Creation and the distant past followed by a long and intricate biography of Moses. Why would God care so much about one Israelite guy that He would lovingly sketch out his story long before the first day rose upon the universe in which that guy was to live?

There’s another episode in the Talmud, one where Moses is ascending Mt. Sinai to receive the Torah. God discusses how carefully He wrote the Torah over countless eons, and the angels say – then why are you giving it to this Moses guy? Who’s he? Some random mortal nobody! We’re angels! Give it to us! Moses argues that the people of Israel are sinful and so need it more. The angels accept his reasoning.

But this argument is less interesting for what it says than for what it leaves out. Moses doesn’t say “Uh, guys, have you even read the Torah? Four of the five books are totally about me, personally. There’s even a section describing how God gives me the Torah, in the Torah. How can you challenge my right to have my own biography?”

The rabbis explain this by dividing “Torah” into the historical Torah, meaning the records of Moses’ life – and the legal Torah, meaning the ritual code. God wrote the legal Torah beforehand. The angels wanted the legal Torah for themselves. But that doesn’t work either. Take a look at the legal Torah and it’s all sorts of rules about which kinds of animals to eat and which close relatives are too close to have sex with. This also seems like the sort of thing you don’t necessarily need to have finished 974 generations before you create the world. And it also seems like the sort of thing that angels don’t have to worry about. So what’s up?

...

The kabbalistic perspective is that nothing is a coincidence. We believe that the universe is fractal. It has a general shape called Adam Kadmon, and each smaller part of it, from the Byzantine Empire to the female reproductive system, is a smaller self-similar copy of that whole. Sometimes the copies are distorted, like wildly different artists interpreting the same theme, but they are copies nevertheless.

...

Twist and stretch as it may, the underlying unity always finds a way to express itself. If you’re a science type, think of the cells in the human body. Every cell has the same genes and DNA, but stick one in the brain and it’ll become a brain cell; stick it in the skin and it’ll become a skin cell. A single code giving rise to infinite variety. If you don’t understand the deep structure they all share, you’ll never really understand brains or skin or anything else.

The Torah is the deep structure of the universe, and ‘structure’ is exactly the word for it. It’s pure. Utterly formal. Meaningless on its own. But stick it in a situation, and its underlying logic starts to clothe itself in worldly things. Certain substructures get expressed, certain others shrivel away. Certain relationships make themselves known. Finally, you get a thing. Box turtles. International communism. Africa. Whatever. If you’re not looking for the structure, you won’t find it. If you are, it’s obvious.

At the time in question, I hadn’t read this. But damn does that sound a lot like the reasoning of mentally ill person. A knowledgeable one, sure, but not sane.

Here’s the song. Warning: it’s loud angry music. If that’s not your thing, don’t listen to it. But how it sounds is important.

It has a long, dark, slow buildup at the beginning. This goes on for over 3 minutes. It builds tension by adding layers and expanding the theme more elaborately. At around 2:50 all the layers are there, working toward an explosion of loudness and screaming at 3:33. This sustains and dies out a few times until 5 minutes in. From there it’s all noise and screaming and yelling and pain until it cuts out abruptly at around 6:30. After that, an acoustic guitar plays a soft melody for a minute or so. This is the end of the album.

I was walking home from the train. It was winter, so the sun was already setting. Something about the lighting that evening was abnormal. The world around me had a strange orange glow it usually doesn’t, even during sunset. As the song was building up, it glowed stronger, turned redder. The thought suddenly popped into my head: this song wants me to kill myself. It just fit, everything was right. The time, the night, the year, my life, the universe. The universe itself wanted me to die a violent, horrible death.

Around the time, suicide occupied my thoughts about 3/5ths of the waking day. I was able to get some work done each day, that’s about it. Any time I hurt anyone’s feelings, even slightly or in my imagination, I had a recurring thought: “A deep wound was opened in the world the day I was born. It’s trying to heal itself. It will never be healed while the infection is still present.”

Some days it was my first thought waking up and my last going to sleep. I knew, of course, the world doesn’t want anything. It’s not a spirit, there are no ghosts. I argued with myself: It’s a metaphor, for how I hurt people all the time.

That was an excuse. It wasn’t a metaphor. Part of me really believed that the world itself--the planet, everything in it--wanted me to die. That my existence caused everything to shriek in pain. The world wanted my depression to build up just like the song I described above. Tension and pain, an explosion of noise, and a violent end, after which everything could be peaceful and whole again. The universe is fractal: all of the galaxies, all of the living beings, and even the entertainment created a story in which I died very soon. Narrative logic demanded it.

It was a super negative version of kaballistic arguments in Unsong. If you read Unsong and laugh at the ridiculous conclusions drawn from every friggin’ thing because they’re crazy, that’s exactly right. They’re just like crazy, or at least like my crazy. Except you’re forced to think like that all the time.

So that evening, I noticed even a song whose lyrics I don’t understand was telling me to kill myself. Any song in a minor key with decent tension and resolution would’ve done the same. I don’t think it had anything to do with the heaviness of the music per se. Censoring lyrics would have done precisely nothing.

But I do think happier music in a major chord wouldn’t have had the same effect.

I did not attempt suicide that night. That experience wasn’t special. My life was a constant struggle to suppress or overpower those kinds of thoughts, and I won. I’m still here and I’m happy. Take that, depression. (And thanks, Wellbutrin.)

And the standard notice that should go in posts like these: If you’re in a situation like this, get help. It’s painful to do so, but not as painful as bearing the depression for any longer than you have to. If you tried and it didn’t work, it’s ok to psychiatrist-hop and medication-hop. Both of those things are also painful but, again, not as painful as sustained depression. You are not terrible and it is possible to be happy again.