#basically impossible to write a good book at 15

[morgan-the-lonely-brick]

That's it. I don't like my book anymore. I'm rewriting it. All 200 pages of it.

[rageserenity]

It's 2024. Are you still thinking about movieverse!Cherik? Because I am.

For the past several months, there's only been a very slow trickle of posts/fics in the xmcu cherik tag. Let's try to breathe some life back into this incredible pairing!

With one clear winner of my poll, here's thirty prompts for the thirty days of April. (This is a super chill, laid-back event---do these in any order, interpret them as loosely as you like! Create in any medium! Fic, art, gifs, meta, incoherent screaming about the otp…all winners in my book.)

The only rule here is to cherik too close to the sun. Alright. Here are the prompts.

Mutual Pining

Doesn't really even need elaboration! Write that horrifically slow slow-burn. Gif every time McAvoy made insane fuck me eyes on screen. Make a playlist of songs about impossible love.

2. Alternate Meetings

There are endless quotes about how these two complete each other in a way no one they'd met before or after ever did. How else could they have met?

3. Erik Has A Telepathy Kink

This is basically canon. Let my boy get freaky!

4. Canon Fix-It

All the times Fox fucked it up. There are endless options.

5. Hurt/Comfort

Put them in that Situation. Put them in that Blender. Break them apart and put them back together ❤️‍🩹

6. Canon Compliant

Draw that missing scene! Gif your favourite cherik moment!

7. Beach Divorce

Make it worse. Make it better. Show it to us exactly how it was. Break it down in a 3,000 word meta. Go wild!

8. Domestics

Sometimes you just want to see them doing normal couple things. Erik put the gun down.

9. Found Family

The real heart of x-men!

10. Time Travel

There are SO many possibilities here. Stick them in a time loop. Give them a chance to change their past.

11. AU

Love a good AU!

12. There Is Only One Bed

Had to get this one in here. What better way to amp up the tension?

13. Genosha

By some miracle, cherik actually did end up together at the end of 2019s trash bag disaster Dark Phoenix. We aren’t making a big enough deal about this.

14. Declaration(s) of Love

Who says it first? How do they say it and when? Have they said it…without saying it?

15. Jealousy

Need I say more.

16. Reunion

These two have absolutely no chill.

17. Soulmates

Classic prompt, had to get this in here too.

18. The DOFP Aircraft

The TENSION here. Break it down for me. How does Charles feel about his injury? How does Erik feel about his injury?

19. Gay Mutant Road Trip

You already know.

20. Body Swap

SO fun when people have superpowers.

21. First Kiss

When? How? Who initiated it?

22. The Mansion

Mansion!content is a genre of its own.

23. Conflicting Ideology

Give me your theses. Who’s right? Can they ever reconcile completely? Write a fic where it drives them apart.

24. Sebastian Shaw

A trope unto himself.

25. Team As Matchmaker

They had to have known something was going on, didn’t they?

26. Cooking

Charles deserves a good meal. Also, imagine Erik using his powers in the kitchen. The sheer domesticity…

27. Hurt No Comfort

Plenty of scope with these two 🥲

28. Growing Old Together

Giving Sirs Ian Mckellan and Patrick Stewart their props as well!

29. Making Up

*pushes chess board across the table* sorry babe

30. Charles Xavier Did More For Mutants Than You'll Ever Know

Rising to each other’s defense. Only I can insult this man.

I will be tracking #revivecherik to reblog stuff! Here’s a fic collection for the same. Let’s get this ball rolling! Please feel free to send me an ask if you’ve got anything to say! And most importantly, let’s all have fun 😁

*I know a few of you preferred something like a gift exchange because of the commitment factor—I’m super down to organise a tiny one for the handful of us! If this promptathon doesn’t flop horribly, we can hopefully do a whole bunch of stuff :)

If you read this post all the way through, please reblog for reach! Thank you! Hoping you participate come April.

Shoutout to @inmymagnetoera for reaching out and helping with this!

[when-wax-wings-melt]

Y'all wanted the presentation? Here's the presentation. Image descriptions are below the cut!

(technically this wasnt part of the assignment, which was "write an essay and read at least one full page to the class" so the reason why there's those huge blocks of text is because that is taken directly from the essay. i can condense things if I WANT to condense them)

[ID: 15 screenshots of a powerpoint presentation. The text is either white or gray, and the theme is various shades of purple, typically with bubbles of dark/light purple and images.

Slide one: Title reading "Keeper of the Lost Cities: A Love-Hate-Love Relationship, And What It Can Do To Your Psyche" with three images on the side. The first image is a meme of two stick figures, the first saying "kotlc lore is second nature to us rabid fans so it's easy to forget that the average person only knows the average special ability count and one or two vackers", the second figure saying "and valin, of course," and the first saying "of course." with text at the bottom reading "Even when they're trying to compensate for it, experts in anything wildly overcompensate the average person's familiarity with their field." The other two images are of Shannon Messenger, a white woman with blonde hair. The images are captioned "The dastardly mastermind behind it all" and "meet Shannon Messenger".

Slide Two: Title reading "Background" with a block of text and two images. The text reads "In total, the Keeper of The Lost Cities (KOTLC) series has over 7000 pages, split between nine and a half books (Book 8.5 was, uselessly, a novella) with a planned tenth coming in late 2024, and a graphic novel dropping in November. It’s the kind of series that hooks you the same way a fisherman hooks a fish: with a promise of a treat that goes very, very unfulfilled." The top image is the cover of the first keeper of the lost cities book, captioned with "book one of what will soon consume my entire brain for years and years and years" and the bottom image is a fish staring at the top image as if it is a tasty treat, captioned "Poor, innocent little 6th grade me".

Slide Three: A block of text reading "This is to say: KOTLC is a good series, at least at first. It’s certainly been my core obsession for a good (or bad) five years. It’s a hook because you can’t escape once you’ve begun. It’s my own personal brand of heroine, as Edward Cullen might say if Bella were a too-long book series that doesn’t resolve any plotlines or character arcs and instead piles more information on top of worldbuilding until contradictions are more plentiful than the packed main cast." An image of Edward Cullen from twilight is captioned "Me, apparently".

Slide Four: A small caption at the top reads "If the series ever ends you can call me Brant when Jolie asked him to leave the Neverseen the way I will burn down my house and kill everyone I love (haha just a joke to get us going)​" with an image of a huge explosion below it. Text reads, "Basically, KOTLC is a good series, but the idea of recommending it feels like I’d be violating several articles of the Geneva Conventions. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The thought of it ending is an impossibility on the scale of the apocalypse and I hope (I'd rather) the world ends before this series does."

Slide Five: Titled "Queer-Coding in the Lost Cities" with the image of Sophie Foster and Fitz Vacker on the side. Text reads, "The queer-coding doesn't just stem from Sophie’s dedicated denial of both her worth as a human being and her desire to kiss her pretty girl friends. A connection called a “Cognate Bond” is often referred to in the text as the closest two elves can become, emotionally and mentally. Cognates exist when two Telepaths (such as Sophie) have such a deep and unbreakable trust bond that they become more skilled together than they were apart. In creating and maintaining this bond, they have to complete trust exercises and not hold back secrets keeping them from total confidentiality. Sophie’s cognate is her friend (and love interest, and, debatably, ex-boyfriend) Fitz, whose romantic relationship was in a large part focused on their cognate one. Their trust exercises involve staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands, having matching rings, and Fitz telling Sophie that she’s the only person he can truly trust. Fitz also asks his father at one point if cognates are allowed to date each other— his father affirms the statement."

Slide Six: Titled "Queer-Coding: Qualden, Tiertice, and such other 🤨🏳️‍🌈 moments​" with the text, "Notably, Alden has the authority to do so since he himself was a cognate, only undergoing a nasty breakup— sorry, only losing the bond after his cognate, Quinlin, kept too many secrets. It’s implied that two other characters were once almost Cognates, only to grow too far apart when one of them, Prentice, has his sanity forcibly shattered and is locked in prison, leaving his (gay lover) best friend, Tiergan (code name Granite), to raise his son. The choice to parallel Fitz/Sophie, Alden/Quinlin, and Tiergan/Prentice was possibly not a conscious one, since Messenger has never attempted to hint at the existence of homosexuality before, but it still resonates with hundreds of queer teen readers who look at the portrayal of utter devotion and trust between two men and think, wow. this is what i see in myself.​" The image is a quote from Neverseen, reading "'What did you give him?' Granite asked, cradling Prentice like a baby. Prentice's head lolled to the side, his body limp and pale." / "Granite held Prentice tighter, whispering, 'It's going to be okay.'"

Slide Seven: Titled "Honorary Errol "I have five identities and they're all the true me" Forkle Mention​". Smaller text below reads "Strut it Magnate "I inspired Loki but don’t even ask about the horse thing" Leto!​" A picture of Mr. Forkle is next to a tumble post by me about Forkle being trans based on the Loki thing. The slide is decorated with several trans flags.

Slide Eight: Titled "Beauty Standards" with text reading "Speaking of things Shannon Messenger did subconsciously, it’s so painfully clear that this series was written by a white American woman that it makes me break out in hives. Messenger establishes very early on in the series that all elves, no matter who they are, are gorgeous in comparison to humans. For some reason that I’m sure has no correlation to Sophie and therefore Messenger’s personal biases (aka Western hetero/cisnormativity and gender roles), every single elven character is slim with clear skin and no glasses. For some reason, beards seem to be impossible for elves to grow naturally, since the only time facial hair ever appears on anyone’s face is when they take an elixir to change their appearance." An image of Sophie with her human family is captioned "Sophie with her ugly nasty disgusting human family apparently​".

Slide Nine: Text reading "Valin is a member of “the drooly boys” who, had they been “human, would’ve been skinny, with acne and braces. Since they were elves, they were fairly good-looking—or they could’ve been if they hadn’t slicked their hair into greasy ponytails” (Messenger KOTLC 170). It seems elves have evolved past the need for brown eyes, acne, crooked teeth, facial hair beyond eyebrows, and variations in body fat—not to mention most other features that make people unique. ​There is indeed a single elf who is fat and even has wrinkles (elves also don’t physically age past 30, fun fact). He alters his appearance with berries that swell his skin, making him the only unique body type besides Sophie’s human family, who are consistently thrown in terrible comparison to her new, movie-star-looking adoptive parents. The berries also make him smell, interestingly enough.​" Images of Councillors Zarina, Terik, and Clarette line the right side of the slide.

Slide Ten: Text reading: "By portraying the elves as the standard for beauty and then removing any pimple, stretch mark, fat roll, body hair, crooked tooth, big nose, or any of the thousands of features that add depth to faces and bodies, Messenger tells us that perfection lies in eliminating all “flaws.” She tells her young readers that they are desirable if they look like Sophie, or Biana, or Keefe—not Stina with her curly hair, or Dex’s too-skinny arms, or Forkle’s large stomach, or my human body.​" The family portrait of the Vackers is also there.

Slide Eleven: Text reading: "Mostly, what defines KOTLC is how it’s interpreted rather than the content itself. I look at Sophie Foster and see parts of myself, but that does not make her me. These characters always feel so painfully real, desperately relatable, as if Messenger cobbled together a main cast from bits of my life, but they are not. In the end, they are just characters. ​In the end, it’s just a series made for middle schoolers, in the same way the sun is just the sun, and the stars are just there to twinkle merrily and not to be explored.​" Sophie on the cover of Exile is also there.

Slide Twelve: Text reading "Literally the day after I finished this presentation a new Marella short story came out in the paperback version of Stellarlune (book 9). This is a quote in the short story:​" with a picture of the short story of Marella being gay about Linh. Also on the slide is "🚨🚨🚨Alert Alert!🚨🚨🚨​" "🤨🤨🤨🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️​" and "Everyone is excited about Marellinh canon but I think she will simply never acknowledge it again.​"

Slide Thirteen: Just the text "Oh, By The Way, This Series Is Off The Walls Insane​"

Slide Fourteen: Text reading "Things that happen in this series: Alicorns have sex and then there is a graphic birth scene (but the Forkle as Loki thing is going too far 🤨)​, Love Interest confesses his feelings by telling Sophie he wants her to be assigned to marry him by the government​, An ogre bodyguard plays matchmaker with her charge and his crush (successfully)​, There's a guy who can sense "potential" except is definitely lying about this​, Villains die so disappointingly. So far we have "hit on head with rock" "smushed by door opened too quickly" "exploded" "fell into evil birthing sauce" (this last one was cool though)​, and A school principal becomes president​" Three tumblr screenshots and memes detailing other things that happen in the book are also there.

Slide Fifteen: THE END. A screenshot captioned with "Credits for the fake book 7 cover go to @/aphelea on tumblr​" shows a canva/booktok style fake cover for Flashback, with a dancing couple, a horse, and the words "he was a boy. she was a horse. could I make it any more obvious?"

/end id]

[daitranscripts]

Iron Bull Conversation: Investigate

Tell Me of the Ben-Hassrath

Iron Bull Masterpost

PC: I’d like to know more about your work with the Ben-Hassrath.

Iron Bull: Ben-Hassrath is actually a general term. You’ve got the secret police who investigate problems inside our territory. You’ve got the re-educators who take people with problems and fix their minds… or make them disappear. And then you’ve got the spies.

1 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: Re-educators? [2]

General: Your job is spying. [3]

General: None sound like you. [4]

2 - Investigate: Re-educators? PC: How do the re-educators work? Iron Bull: I only know the basics. Wasn’t my area. That said… Keep a man awake long enough, ask the right questions, give the right potions, and you can get him to say anything. You don’t need blood magic or demons to change someone’s mind. We’re a lot more fragile than we’d like to believe.

5 - Dialogue options:

Investigate (non-Qunari PC): Is it really that easy? [6]

Investigate (non-Qunari PC): That’s revolting. [7]

Investigate (Qunari PC): I’ve heard rumors. [8]

[Back to 1]

6 - Investigate: Is it really that easy? PC: You can alter someone’s beliefs that easily? Iron Bull: One of my friends was a reeducator. He said that every memory is like the page of a book. When you examine a memory, you’re turning to that page… and when you’re there, the page is laid bare. Write a few notes in the margins of the page, erase a word here and there, and your whole outlook changes. Always felt a little weird reading after that conversation. [back to 5] ㅤㅤ ㅤ 7 - Investigate: That’s revolting. PC: The reeducators sound horrible. Iron Bull: Yeah, they probably do. Here’s the thing, though. What happens in Orlais when you commit a crime or betray a lord? They just lop your head off. At least the Qunari try to fix you. [back to 5] ㅤㅤ ㅤ 8 - Investigate: I’ve heard rumors. PC: My parents told me stories about what the reeducators did. Iron Bull: Yes…. You were lucky your parents got away. The weak minds get bent into the right shape. Strong minds like yours… They’d have given you a poison called qamek. You’d have been a polite, happy laborer for the rest of your life. And you’d have had a handler to help you eat and make sure you didn’t crap your pants. [back to 5]

3 - General: Your job is spying. PC: And you’re a spy. Iron Bull: Close. I am now, I suppose, but that’s not how I started. [9]

4 - General: None sound like you. PC: None of those sound exactly like you. Iron Bull: Yeah, I was a special case. [9]

9 - Scene continues.

Iron Bull: They sent me to Seheron because they needed someone who could fight and hunt down problems. That whole island was a sack of cats. Incursions from Tevinter, Tal-Vashoth, and native rebels fighting both sides… And in the middle, me, trying to wrangle the rebels and restore order.

Dialogue options:

General: Sounds difficult. [10]

General: Sounds impossible. [11]

General: Sounds fun for you. [12]

10 - General: Sounds difficult. PC: I can’t imagine that was easy. Iron Bull: Nope. [13]

11 - General: Sounds impossible. PC: How’d that work out for you? Iron Bull: About as well as you’d expect. [13]

12 - General: Sounds fun for you. PC: You seem like the type who enjoys a good fight. Iron Bull: There’s a good fight, and there’s finding out who put rat poison in the bread and killed a bunch of children. [13]

13 - Scene continues.

Iron Bull: I hunted down a lot of rebels. Lost a lot of friends to the Vints, or the fog warriors, or the Tal-Vashoth. One day I woke up and couldn’t think of a damned reason to keep doing my job. Turned myself in to the reeducators.

Dialogue options:

General: Even knowing what they did? [14]

General: It worked out well enough. [15]

General: That was brave. [16]

14 - General: Even knowing what they did? PC: You’d heard what the reeducators did to their prisoners. Iron Bull: Yes, I had. I wanted them to fix me like they fixed them. [17]

15 - General: It worked out well enough. PC: Obviously, you made it out alive. Iron Bull: I wasn’t sure I would, but I honestly didn’t care at that point. I just couldn’t keep fighting that fight. [17]

16 - General: That was brave. PC: Not many people would have the courage to do that. Iron Bull: I thought about letting some rebel kill me, but I couldn’t give any of those bastards the satisfaction. [17]

17 - Scene continues.

Iron Bull: The Ben-Hassrath ordered me to go to Orlais, ostensibly as a Tal-Vashoth, and work undercover. That’s how I ended up here.

Dialogue options:

Flirt: It means I got to meet you. [18]

General: You’ve had a hard time. [19]

General: Wow. [20]

General: Interesting story. [21]

18 - Flirt: It means I got to meet you. PC: I’m glad you’re here, Bull. Iron Bull: Me, too. PC: If you ever need to talk more about all this, let me know. Iron Bull: Nah. It was a long time ago. Thanks, though. Scene ends.

19 - General: You’ve had a hard time. PC: It sounds like you had a rough life under the Qun. Iron Bull: What, three meals a day and free sex whenever I need it? I came out here for the challenge, boss. Figured I’d rough it with you savages. Anyway, nice talking with you. Scene ends.

20 - General: Wow. PC: That’s, uh… damn. Iron Bull: You did ask. Anyway, nice talking with you. Scene ends.

21 - General: Interesting story. PC: Thanks for the information, Bull. Iron Bull: No problem, boss. Anyway, nice talking with you. Scene ends.

[violet-jessop]

i had my first therapy session today.

90 minutes with a psychologist who i'm booked to see once a week for the next 5 weeks.

a friend asked me if i was nervous last night when i told her, and i had to think on it. i found i wasn't. it was strange because logically i think i should have been, but i couldn't muster any real feelings about it. i felt indifferent. resigned.

i know that's probably not what she wanted to hear, but i think lying in this instance would have just given her false hope.

to get to this point has been such a shit show.

self harming since a decade ago this year, suicidal on and off for at least for the last eight. tried to seek help in 2019 only to get put on 10 times the starting dose of some random antidepressant and told to fuck off with no follow up and automatically renewing prescriptions. stopped taking those after a year or so with no real improvement. things have just steadily declined.

last year was okay, probably the most okay i've felt for an extended period since 2014. but now it's almost worse because i saw it could be okay, and now it's not again.

finding a psych that met my needs was near on impossible. my only two criteria were trans (or just a queer person who i could feel like less of a freak with) and able to deal with SI - and that left me with one option via telehealth. booked in to do a 15 minute consultation with her she was 30 minutes late to the session, so i assumed i'd been forgotten. then when she eventually called she didn't even acknowledge it.

getting the mental health care plan from my GP was so degrading. i went to a different doc because i didn't trust the last guy who is just so happy to write prescriptions. but the new guy was no better. clearly thought i didn't need any of this, wrote maybe 2 lines on the mhcp documents, left most of it blank, didn't even bother to sign it. said he performed the k10 which he didn't. straight up wrote that i seemed fine based on "good eye contact and engages well". and he never even sent it to the identity clinic, i had to chase him to obtain a copy so i could send it off myself.

and today rolls around. we have our session. what was supposed to cost me 134 out of pocket cost me 250 unexpectedly, so after the appointment they had to call me several times because my account had insufficient funds because i only had enough for what they'd told me it would cost.

in the session she misgendered me. she said "as a woman with autism. oh, i assume you're she/her right?". which was wild as a psych who works for the "identity clinic" - where i had to fill in a million forms that included my pronouns in multiple places. where i had sent an inquiry to find out if they had anyone on staff who would suit a non-binary person with SI. and then the SI, where i mentioned it as something i'd like to work through, and she pretty much told me if i talk about that sort of stuff in a non-joking way she'll have to make sure i'm institutionalised. so i had to play it off as a joke. as hyperbole. the two things, such basic things i thought. so what am i here for again? is what's wrong with me so taboo i can't even pay a medical professional $250 to let me speak about it? is my soul so putrid? if anyone ever tries to force me into inpatient i'll put on a pine overcoat as soon as possible, that's not up for debate.

so we talked about other things, and i cried in front of another person for the first time in ages and it wasn't even cathartic it was just for the shame of admitting my failings out loud. and she told me maybe my anxiety is just autistic meltdown which i know isn't right, i know the difference. she walked me through diaphragmatic breathing like i was 5. she recommended i buy airpods and try burlesque. it reminded me of Jo telling me i should try drumming circles around the time of my first attempt.

so i suppose i was right in feeling indifferent. i had enough hope left to try, but not enough to be hopeful. i really don't have the energy to go through this all again. time is ticking down, 128 weeks at best. i suppose i'll give her another two sessions and see. but if she doesn't work out i think that's me done. how many times am i expected to try? it was already mortifying enough. i know Tal will be angry, but i just don't have it in me to keep doing this over and over. every failed attempt at getting better just adds more weight, reaffirms what i already suspected.

and the statistics of it. either i've encountered consistently bad medical practitioners OR the problem lies with me. at this point statistically it has to be me, there's just been too many failings. especially when i see so many friends drive the same road without issue. yet i keep hitting roadblock after roadblock. at what point do i just acknowledge that i'm a bad driver? maybe it's been roadblock after roadblock because there's nothing else, there is no good ending. i shouldn't be on the road to begin with.

[nczaversnick]

Writerly Questionnaire

Thanks to @willtheweaver for the tag!

How long have you had you’re writing tumblr/writblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I’ve been here only, like, two months I think? Which is kinda crazy honestly.

What led you to create it?

I find it’s so much easier to get excited about my writing when other people are excited too. Besides I’m the face of this operation for Project Gemini and after years of failure on Instagram I gave up for several years until my roommate pointed out that I might actually like being on tumblr and I figured it deserved a fair try.

What’s your favorite thing about the community?

I love how excited everyone is about everyone else’s projects. It kinda blows my mind

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I will answer literally any question to the best of my ability.

Also, to those of you who are big fans of specific characters (I’m talking about you @honeybewrites and @the-letterbox-archives ), I fucking love that you have a favorite. Mine and Rachelle’s favorite is Adrian, her second favorite is Iris and my second favorite is the guards talking about chili cheese fries in the middle of the big climax of Book 1. They don’t have names but they’re in every draft

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

Nothing comes to mind

WIP

Which WIP are you noodling about lately?

Well, I’ve only got the one, Project Gemini. We’re working on detailing the outline to break down what happens in each chapter. But while that’s been happening, while I’m at work I’ve been pondering what Adrian would be like in the Arc of a Scythe universe

How long have you been working on them?

I had the initial idea roughly.. 15 years ago I think? The first draft was written 10 years ago. I’m currently on draft 5 or, really, draft 1 of version 3

Do you remember what inspired them/ what got you started?

When I was 8 years old a friend of mine on the playground offhandedly made a comment some kind of magical being that was half ice and half fire. And it just stuck.

When someone asks “what do you write about?” What do you say?

Queer people overthrowing the government what else would I write about?

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

I think I was pretty clear the first time lol

Let’s rotate Blorbos

Name any character you’ve created, and I mean any:

Listen I’ve been writing for over a decade. There’s no way I’ll get everyone. So here’s several:

Caspian, Adrian, Aurelia, Iris, Mason, Quinn, Athena, Lucia, Resin, Filick, Nic, Weston, Atlas, Flynn, Jacob, Lily, Audrey, Micah, Ikaris, Faldris, Helvar, Mara, Flynn, Atlas’s, Dimitri, Cyrus, Jaron, Abraxis

Who’s the most unhinged:

Good lord who even knows?

Who comes most naturally to write:

Definitely Nic or Adrian, as they’re both the oldest

Do you ever cringe at them:

Sometimes, especially those early versions of Adrian

How much control do you feel you have over them? Aka do they ever “write themselves” or refuse to cooperate or do thing you don’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

Oh I don’t have any. Rachelle doesn’t understand when I say things like “I won’t know the answer to that until the little Iris in my brain bother to tell me”

Some are more cooperative than others, I feel like Aurelia is always around sometimes. Mason is impossible. He’s uncooperative both in my head and in the story, which unfortunately is very on brand for him. But it also means I know basically nothing about him right now.

To get around this I tend to write snippets that sort of circle around the actual question I want answered until I manage to get it

Do you enjoy people asking about your characters? And do you have a preferred method of receiving said questions?

Do I enjoy what is probably my favorite kind of interaction of all time?

And no I don’t have a preference.

On Writblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account?

Good vibes. I usually check out anyone who follows me anyway

What makes you decide against following?

Besides the obvious answer of discrimination and bigotry, the answer is also vibes. If you fail the vibe check, I won’t follow.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Oh yeah all the time. I keep forgetting that some people are mutuals and some aren’t lol

Tagsss:

@honeybewrites @wyked-ao3 @kittrrrr @zackprincebooks @fractured-shield @theverumproject @the-letterbox-archives @the-golden-comet @poppycat-writes @davycoquette @moltenwrites @finickyfelix @kuebiko-writing @illarian-rambling @yourpenpaldee

[mcalhenwrites]

I am still alive but have no spoons to directly reply to anyone right now. I'm working on stuff with roommate and therapy, but... unless the money situation improves, my life won't. There are no good days to return to. The problem is, I have a collective 39 years that have added to nothing. And I have still tried to be optimistic. To work through the chronic pain to write, work, and be there for my friends when they need me. (But it all gets harder the more time that passes.) When people still say I'm a good friend, I'm baffled. I don't see it. My writing isn't working out. I need it to, or I will not survive financially, and it just seems a little cruel to ask me to hold out and hold out for something that's never going to happen - all so I can die the hardest possible way in the end, bc I fought like hell to still be at the bottom. I'm not currently suicidal, but I'm pretty much just going day-by-day, trying to find improvements and realizing it all comes down to the same issue: I have no money. And the issue isn't "fix health to work more at a job that isn't writing" - I can manage fibromyalgia and IBS, and the latter costs money to obtain the correct food to do so. I qualify for medicaid; I don't qualify for food assistance now that I work a job! I quit crochet and people threw a tantrum, and if you want to see my self-defensive "I CANNOT DO THIS AND WILL NOT AND FUCK OFF" as a tantrum... go ahead. I do not give a fuck. I love writing. I did it even when I knew it was awful, bc I figured the more I did it, the more I would improve. I worked hard. It just isn't good enough for the world. That's okay. I have always been a loser at everything. Everything ties back to writing: I need to do it for my comfort and therapy. I want my stories out there bc I want to be able to offer other people that comfort. Too many of us come from abusive households, and some of us had it shape our mental health and our sexualities. I need to publish to make money to survive, bc I can write while bedridden. I can write while most of my body is sore and my eyes are half-closed and I'm bored but unable to play games or read or clean or anything else due to physical pain/exhaustion. (And yes, there are times writing is also impossible, and I'm crying in bed bc of the pain intensity levels.) Unless you have a chronic pain issue coupled with comorbidities, I don't want your lectures or assumptions. I don't want to hear that there is "help" while I watched the system try to push my autistic brother into a goodwill job that falls below min wage, and when he wasn't able to handle the responsibilities, they've basically refused to help him otherwise. Even though my brother is capable of many things, he is "disabled" in the system, and they want to insert him into a fixed situation they put all disabled people. I'm doing better than him financially, but when my parents go, he has no one. And I can't be that person, ever. I can't even get my dog back right now. I can barely afford to visit him, but I'm going to anyway soon bc I need to hug him or I really will fucking off myself. I need a lot of support to get my writing off the ground, and I'm never going to deserve it. If I did, it would have happened by now. My roommate wants me to keep trying, but... I don't have hope it'll work out. Right now, I'm so overworked I can barely get any writing done. And I'm working about 15 hours a week. At a low-demand job where I sit most of the time, and cleaning maybe takes 40 minutes at its WORST. Yeah. I'm pathetic indeed. I can't help but feel that way. And when I give myself a little treat to survive the next day, it's at a steep cost to my future. I can buy a book and go to the library, but at the end of the day, that's all time and money that should have been spent on work and saving. Life is punishing, and I just don't know if I can keep being punished. I'm not even this kind of masochist lol

[thenewwei]

BAD AMERICANS by Tejas Desai-An Update on the Great American Pandemic Novel

On this Independence Day Eve, I have to report that things are not looking good for the prospects of my latest book BAD AMERICANS being conventionally published. I haven’t gotten a single hit among the 50 agents or so I sent queries to several months ago. The ones who deigned to give a non-form response told me that the massive Great American Pandemic Novel was too long to be conventionally published.

Apparently, anything over 120,000 words is virtually impossible to publish right now, let alone a novel and short story collection in one, which is unheard of and doesn’t fit into a defined bookstore category. One agent even told me to constrict it into 80,000 words—it is currently 260,000 words. Even with dramatic editing, that’s practically impossible unless I write a different book.

I hoped that my momentum of winning 15 indie literary awards for my last novel The Dance Towards Death would cruise me into a major publication and Pulitzer Prizes/National Book Awards as a kind of natural progression of artistic ascent, especially for an ambitious Magnum Opus like BAD AMERICANS, but this was apparently just wishful thinking. That's not how the literary world works, at all.

I conveniently looked past the risk-averse, rigid and bureaucratic nature of the publishing industry which is the very reason I independently published 5 books over 8 years. I hoped DEI would help the prospects for the most DEI book ever written, but yet again, this promise was exposed as a front and a lie. It appears the major publishers don’t care about true diversity in fiction, and certainly not when there’s innovation and raw realism involved.

I’ve also sent BAD AMERICANS, meaning the whole manuscript, edited/half versions, and the individual stories out to indie publisher contests, but these have also resulted in rejection so far, and I’m not hopeful for a hit. These contests have also been very expensive—the fees for each contest range from $25-$80. I’m basically subsidizing their companies when that money would traditionally be used to promote my own works or those of other New Wei writers I admire. And it’s likely I could build a bigger profile and readership for BAD AMERICANS through The New Wei even if a small publisher does accept it.

Of course, sending BAD AMERICANS directly to the People has resulted in a much different outcome. Massive amounts of sensitivity (I hate this word—I prefer identity?) readers and beta readers have read and thoroughly commented on both the individual stories and the 1000 page book as a whole. How much did they charge? Nothing at all. In fact they were thrilled to participate in and aid this important project.

The 12 internal stories, most of which are novelettes or novellas, have been universally praised. I have gotten some criticisms on the frame story, particularly the long food and activity descriptions, and these will be edited. But even those critical readers finished the massive novel and admired it on the whole (meanwhile, the so-called publishing professionals have done absolutely nothing for this work).

In fact, one retired librarian read the 1,000 page tome two times, including giving me extensive line-by-line feedback the second time, and now wants to read it a third time. And she loved the individual stories so much that she adapted two, with my permission, and gave them to her book club to read and discuss. Now that’s dedication!

So essentially, I am at yet another crossroads. Do I keep trying to get the book conventionally published, which will likely take many years if it ever happens at all, or do I go it alone yet again and build The New Wei along with it? In particular, self-publishing BAD AMERICANS will be a huge endeavor due to its size, scope and components, likely one of the greatest self-publishing projects ever undertaken.

Well, you know I love a great challenge.

At this point, barring some miracle (and a few have happened to me), for the next six months I’m going to plan to do a final revision of the frame story and rebuild or confirm my team for the large publishing project. Perhaps I will send out 50 more queries to agents and here and there enter a contest—seems like a waste of time and money but I suppose you never know, I could get lucky.

Under the Grand Design, one story would be published as a Kindle ebook for each month of 2025 and then the whole book would be published in two volumes, in multiple formats, six months apart in 2026. That would be an all-consuming 2 year publishing project consisting of 18-20 distinct publications (possibly one with the whole work too, meaning potentially over 20) involving the same book.

Now that would be dedication!

We’ll see—I reserve the right to revise timelines, elements, and paths, but as you all know, once I get a plan for a project in my mind, almost nothing except divine intervention (and perhaps not even that) can stop me.

My goal all along has been to create a massive oeuvre like Balzac’s The Human Comedy, Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County books and Dostoyesky’s St. Petersburg works. Waiting around for publishers to take notice on a whim will likely never fulfill my ambitions, let alone my additional one of promoting other great indie literary writers I admire.

I hope to have help with this great enterprise, but other than my magnificent team and my growing number of wonderful fans, I’m not going to plan on it! :( #literature #books #publishing #thehumantragedy #BadAmericans #authors

[alexawwr1tes]

So like.... my heads been stuck in this thing of "why has no one made a good fantasy/ABO fan fiction of ZB1 yet?". Like I'm not abt to be the one to do it but I can give yall like a whole plot line and shit, it's just someone else gotta fucking write it lol.

With that, here's a prompt for the haobin writers. Cuz ik yall on AO3 are running out of ideas 🙏

(I had a panic attack the other day when AO3 was down)

Plot line:

ABO, they are actual wolves and do transform. It's just rare as it's not taught anymore. They do have fluffy ears and tails constantly tho so it's kinda like a hybrid thing.

Imagine this land. In the middle there is a massive mountain covered in royal village houses and a massive castle on top. It's about an hour horse carriage ride to get to the beginning of the mountain. Theres roads upon roads getting to the top, so the journey can be long.

Surrounding the areas there are what they call sides (kinda like districts in in the hunger games except theres only 4 of them.) North side, East side, South side, West side. North side is the most proper side, East side is well off yet forgotten about, South side is poor and constantly undergoing attention struggles, and west side though always constantly in war is the most well off you can get.

Hanbin, is a prince and upcoming king of an entire Alpha family. No one born by blood has ever been an Omega or Beta, enter Sung Hanbin. At age 18 he presents "early" (normal presenting age for an Omega). When his family finds out he's an Omega, they dont live him down. They give him these proper Omega etiquette lessons and such but where he was raised Alpha he is doing absolutely horribly. Wants to get out. Wants to run away. It's not entirely impossible. In this world, royalty can't show their face to the public until they are mated and crowned the next queen or king. And so, if Hanbin just left. No one would know where to look for him.

Hanbins main guard is Jiwoong. Jiwoong is 2nd Alpha in command, and originally was the pack leader of the North side was promoted as he was the most trustworthy guard back when he was a palace guard (before Hanbin was born). Jiwoong will be in his early early 30s in this book. Maybe between ages 31-33.

Seok matthew, is Hanbins only friend. Seok Matthew is one of the cleaning ladies of the castles only Son. When the boy was younger, she would take Matthew to the castle and lock him in a play room because she never had a proper babysitter for them. One day, Matthew was curious and accidentally stumbled upon Hanbin. Since you cant just erase what soneones face looks like from your head, and they couldn't possibly punish a young child for being adventurous, they decided that it would be okay for Hanbin to have a friend.

After the age of 15 matthew wasn't allowed in the castle anymore as his mother got promoted and he was old enough to take care of himself by kingdom laws. He still snuck in, and very often at that. Sometimes he wouldn't even leave the elders room. Hiding in the princes closet all day and night; skipping school becoming a regular thing.

But since Jiwoong came around, matthew hasn't caught a break. He had been caught about 5 times in the past month trying to just get in to Hanbins room, so it was extremely difficult with the male. His senses were on fire for the young pup apparently.

The one night Matthew successfully sneaks in, he proposes to Hanbin that he can run away, and come live with him. No one knows what he looks like, no one would suspect Hanbin living with Matthew, and he could finally go and start a life of his own, even if it was only for a small bit.

Hanbin didn't need to be told twice. 3 days later it was the middle of the night, and Jiwoong was on his bathroom break. Hanbin jumped out his window, climbed down some vines, and very carefully snuck passed the guards. Knowing he didn't have long he had to basically book it as fast as he could down the mountain.

He didn't transform. Even though he wanted to it was near impossible because he had only just presented and had horrible contact with his Omega.

He met up with Matthew at the bottom of the very large mountain, it was starting to get light outside and both of them looked like a wreck. Matthew had smartly brought empty bottles of alcohol to make it look like they were just wasted as they walked to Matthew's house.

Skip skip skip let's skippy

Hanbins now starting high school, he had been introduced to the most trustworthy people in the entire school (that's what matthew said anyways) through a dumb back story Matthew just magically hauled out of his ass. Ricky, Taerae, Yujin, Gyuvin, and Zhang Hao. He was also supposed to be introduced to a boy named Gunwook. Hanbin knew that name.

He was a guard in training, he was Jiwoongs 2nd in command. He knew Hanbins name. Not his face, but he knew his name. And he knee it well. That scared Hanbin a little bit. Maybe he would just try to ignore Gunwook as much as possible.

Now. Enter Hao, and his younger brothers Yujin, Gyuvin, and Ricky. Him and Ricky were biologically siblings. Yujin and Gyuvin were biological siblings to each other that Hao's parents had adopted about 4 years ago.

Hanbins impressions of the boys weren't much. Hao is "cold". That's what Hanbin decides. Except hes not.

After getting lost many times just going around the south side, he keeps bumping in to Hao. He learns the older is just naturally quiet, but Hanbin gets to learn a side of him no one else had quiet ever cracked. The silly, adorable, light hearted side of him.

As Hanbin is basically falling head over heels for the amazingly adorable Alpha; Zhang Hao, Yujin, who is only 14, doesn't know much. But hes attentive. He can read people like a book. He reads Hanbin like a book. He sees straight through Hanbin. Especially when the princes first name is finally announced to the public as the search party has went on too long; the kingdom getting desperate. Yujin just watches. He has nothing to do with sung Hanbins life.

Yujin also watches it all fall apart. Or start to. Gunwook finally catches on, after meeting Hanbin for the 5th time. Yujin can tell Gunwook has caught on. Who wouldn't? Everyone was delusional.

Gunwook rats out sung Hanbin to the whole school after finally breaking. Jealousy getting to him. Saying something along the lines of "telling Hao to stop running away from his problems when you are the one who's actually done it!! Why would you run away from a caring family. Why would you run away when you had everything you ever wanted in that castle. Sung. Han. Bin. You had everything going for you. I've worked my butt off but because of this search I got demoted and ITS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! Jiwoong doesnt trust me anymore because of you! Go back to your dumb castle. It would make everyone much happier."

Chaos erupts, the whole cafeteria gasps. Hanbin and Matthew are absolutely shocked, Yujins eyes home terror, and Hao... Hao has no reaction. It's like he was numb.

Hanbin wishes everyone could see his side of things. Sadly, they didnt even bother. He was dragged back to the castle, Matthew was banned from ever touching royal grounds, and his mother was now fired from her job at the castle due to it.

Worst of all... hanbin and Hao 2 days before had made the realization that they were fated mates. And that they were meant to be together. People had stopped believing in fated mates so long ago, that Hanbins mother didnt believe him when he said he found his mate.

Hanbin thought he had lost. His mother had planning on getting him mated to a very nice prince from far away, a distant land.

Hanbin hated it. He thought he was stuck. Until the kingdom had an open night. The open night where Hanbin would make his first public appearance since he was caught in the act of being a runaway.

The night was painful, he had to act happy, act cheerful, act like he had smartened up. On the inside, he was screaming. His omega was screaming.

Hanbin went to get some fresh air outside on one of the many balconies. He thought he was alone. But then, he smelt a very familiar scent. And then, came arms around his waist, and then a kiss to his scent gland situated on his neck, and then a "hi hanbinnie". It was a fit of happiness.

Apparently Gunwook had felt so bad after hearing what Hanbin had told Hao, he helped sneak Hao into the royal open house so he could find his mate.

From there you can end the book however you want. I suggest a chaste and tender love making scene, and then a fast forward into the future where Hanbin and Hao are telling the story of how they fell in love to their three kids, two sons and one daughter. But you can fill in the gaps <3

Also a spinoff where Matthew romances Jiwoong?? Sureeee. Age gaps are fine when it's way in the future and not when Matthew is 17. Maybe when hes like 23 lol

I apologize if this was messy but it was just a rough idea.

Other small details:

Matthew, Yujin, Gunwook, Ricky, and Taerae are unpresented but Gunwook knows his sub gender because of a blood test he had taken. When matthew does present he is an Omega, Taerae is a Beta, Yujin is a Beta, Ricky is an Alpha, and Gyuvin is an Alpha. Gunwook is also... an alpha.

Also haos scent is like cinnamon, and Hanbins is a mixture of vanilla bean and blueberry, making them smell like blueberry waffles when together.

[rockinlibrarian]

People I'd like to know better!

@stephsageek tagged me in this thing! I think the last time I did it it was specifically NINE people I'd like to know better? Anyway here's the last time I filled this out; obviously some answers have changed and some have stayed the same

Last song: I can't remember the last song I actually HEARD, besides the background music to Splatoon which the 16yo was playing as usual, but I started singing almost out of nowhere (there was a reference to Liverpool in the book we were reading and I asked the kids if they knew the thing Liverpool was MOST IMPORTANT FOR THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT ANSWER) "Drive My Car" and it's been in my head and still occasionally sung since.

Favourite colour: Still cerulean.

Currently watching: Percy Jackson. We're big Riordan fans in this household. @sunnymarbles yells at everyone to watch it ASAP and then basically trembles with joy the whole way through.

Last movie/TV show: Hubs got the complete James Bond collection for Christmas so we all watched Dr. No the other day. To various levels of attention.

Spicy/savory/sweet: All, as previously mentioned

Relationship Status: Married 20 years and 2 days. We're finally taking date night tomorrow night (I've had work all week, including the evening of our anniversary) at our reception restaurant and the hotel behind it.

Current Obsession: The Yuletide fic exchange. It is so fun. There are so many random fics from such obscure source materials (and not so obscure-- as I've hinted before, the one I wrote is from one I can't believe still qualified, and I think in the time since it DID qualify it no longer does, at least), and so many people had such fun with what they wrote, too. People are such good sports too! And the RESPONSES! My fic, which I will share with you when it un-anonymizes on Monday, is doing really well, people-loving-it-wise, and I am getting more in-depth listing-all-your-favorite-lines type comments on this than I swear I've gotten on all 33 other fics I have posted all together. Yuletide participants are so cool!

Last thing you Googled: How to remove the battery of a Vostro 15 3530. Good news, I got a new computer for Christmas! Bad news, it promptly stopped working after two days! Luckily, that means it's obviously still under warranty! And since I just saw a Tumblr post about Apple purposely making their devices next to impossible to repair to force you to buy more, I have to give Dell Customer Service a shout-out for not only getting back to me quickly, but walking me through various tests so if it COULD have been repaired by me, they would have showed me how-- and that involved me actually opening the thing up to check on the battery and connections inside, even! (They were all fine, it turns out it's a motherboard problem and I have to send the dang thing back). Which is why I had to Google pictures of how to actually do that.

This is also why, normally, I would be using these days to write up all my end-of-the-year roundup posts, but most of my notes are in Cloud Limbo, and my old computer is SO. DANG. SLOW. So my end-of-year roundups are going to be late this year. That's okay, I didn't want to do any fanfic-I-wrote roundups until after this last one un-anonymizes, anyway!

So now let's tag brand new non-bot follower, @pixileanin!

[pumpkinnning]

leo you didn't know what you got yourself into, baby.

for the "know your ficwriter" thingy:

2; 4; 14; 15 & 16 (that's a lot i know, hehe, but i love to hear your thoughts)

ahah joke's on you i love ranting about my writing so thank you so much for humoring me <3

2 : Do you plan each chapter or do you write as you go ? I have an outline for at least a few chapters ahead, in general, with a scene list, but those often end up changing a lot as I actually write. I've never written a story without at least a little bit of an outline though, I don't like writing if I don't know where I am going, I need that flow of energy that the story gives me, if that makes sense

4 : Where do you find inspirations for new ideas ? I don't know, everywhere ? Writer is like one of the basic modes of my brain lmao so whenever any information or experience enters one of my first reactions is like, so how can I use this in a story ? And then it's constantly running scenarios and trying to fuse ideas into each other and I think that's when my stories come together - by making interesting mixes of stuff. Like a recipe or a potion lmao. There are a few big themes that come back constantly - like awe for big scary overwhelming forces of nature, loneliness, trauma, the sacred, the horrors and wonders of having a body, power, freedom, devotion, etc - and then I'm just looking for more specific lenses to explore them through. I honestly think if you're paying attention you can find ideas absolutely anywhere. That said when I'm blocked or my writing feels stale I love reading a good book or watching a cool movie because that regenerates my belief in the power of good storytelling. Or going somewhere I've never been to before.

14: how do you write emotional scenes ? Do you ever feel what the characters feel ? Do you draw from personal experiences ? Tbh for me all scenes are emotional, if there's no emotions it feels dead and there's no point in writing it. And yeah I'm very method with my writing, I need to feel it to be inspired - generally it's an enjoyable process, even for negative stuff it's cathartic. And yes, I draw a lot from personal experiences, not directly but transformed and amplified - writing is in general very therapeutic for me, even though I try to not go too far with that because it doesn't always make for the most interesting stuff to read haha.

15: How do you write smut scenes ? Do you get very visual or detailed ? How important is it to be realistic ? To me smut is a great way to get into the mindset and emotions of characters and peeling back some layers, so that's the most important thing to figure out - although sometimes it's just yeah that would be hot, does it fit the Theme lmfao. In real life it's silly to assign arbitrary meanings to particular acts but in a story it's very interesting to figure out what it symbolizes. I like writing kinky stuff as well because it makes that more explicit. In terms of details - no, not really, because honestly I think if a character's POV gets too fixated on details it means they're probably too in their heads and not really enjoying the experience so it can quickly feel artificial. I think the key is about picking the right details. But also it's just HARD to find words to describe that kind of stuff without sounding corny lmao. As for the realism, hm, as long as you can understand what everybody is doing and there's no weird impossible anatomy going on, I'm not THAT hung up on it, it's meant to be a fantasy anyway - but the best smut does tend to have some realistic moments at least because it's more human and interesting and sexy if it's not just acting out a perfect boring choreography.

16: how many fic ideas are you nurturing right now ? share one of them ? I have a shit ton of ideas but I am trying to be disciplined and not start anything until I have finished sanctuary. (except maybe a few short one shots like my solarpunk wizards AU). All sebchal for now. One I have been thinking about a lot is an absolutely insane multiverse thing with several seemingly unrelated stories that get framed in several different ways - one that happens in a decaying post apocalyptic seaside town ruled by the mob with haunted old hollywood vibes/romeo + juliet/also with illegal car racing and a bad ending ; one where Seb is a cult leader ; one where they're both women in a cyberpunk crap future where Seb is a bounty hunter and Charles is an escort and they end up teaming up against the kingpin that wants to make their lives miserable and then they leave town together ; anyway a few others i'm not sure if i'm ever going to get to it because it would be enormous but it's very fun to think about. also i really want to write a BDSM focused fic at some point. and maaaaaaybe a sanctuary sequel.

[wander-wren]

THE POINT ABOUT SHIVER BEING A CASHGRAB THAT GOT DERAILED

i’m actually semi-qualified this time! i’ve done a lot of research into publishing, bc i want to Get Published, and i happen to have recently written a small essay on maggie stiefvater so i have info about how shiver came to be.

i also have a lot of anger. i will try to contain it. ahem. also i apologize to the person/people who made the cashgrab allegations originally, i am not mad at you so much as at the general world/attitude. patpat. we’re all good buddy

basically, i don’t think shiver was a cashgrab. i try not to have parasocial relationships with authors, but i do think maggie stiefvater is dedicated enough to authenticity to not, like, do that. specifically i remember reading this blog post about author-reader and reader-author responsibility.

everything i’m about to say, unless stated otherwise, comes from maggie’s interview on the First Draft podcast. i’m too lazy to track down links, but i’ll try to at least say where i got things from.

so, shiver is maggie’s third book. the first, she sold to a small publishing house for an advance that was around $2000 that’s small as fuck. the average advance is $25,000, the median is $50,000, and those numbers if memory serves come from a 2021 survey of debut authors.

(average and median, for people who are curious, are so far apart because most advances are on the smaller side, but big six and seven figure outliers affect the median. i think. i gave a speech on this but that was six months ago. i may be getting them backwards, the principle stands.)

so anyway, maggie sells her first book, ballad, buys a mattress, and keeps writing. she sells its sequel, lament, and also happens to have shiver ready at the same time. the house also wants shiver, so the two go together. ballad and lament both come out very quietly. shiver comes out about a year and a half later (i don’t know why, publishing is fickle), and immediately lands on the nyt bestseller list. this was august 2009. mstief couldve very well written it bc of the twilight paranormal romance boom, was probably writing it around 2005, 2006. lament was published january 2008, meaning both books had probably been bought in 2006 or 2007. but we don’t know what her thinking was.

small house, quiet releases, and none of the Peak twilight tropes. somehow i don’t think maggie was aiming for, or expecting, a cash grab.

and i hate this! i hate this assumption. not bc i think a very famous very successful author needs to be defended on tumblr, but because it’s such a common assumption that authors (especially ya, especially fantasy romance) are just out for money. it sucks.

first of all, publishing is almost impossible to make a living in. see those advances up there? they’re split into chunks. right now, usually quarters, each to be paid on a specific milestone of the publishing process. often, when the book comes out an author has not received all or even most of their advance payments. yes, that is stupid. we hate it too. and you can’t receive royalties until after the advance is paid, so that 25k or 50k or what-have-you may take two or three years to get to you. and then there’s taxes and a 15% cut for your agent. @xiranjayzhao (ohgod i’m so scared to tag you if you see this hii) has spoken before about how they could not live off the money from iron widow, despite it being a huge bestseller.

it’s very difficult to make a living off of books. it’s even more difficult to make a living off of books while being honest. people with ghostwriters or ai help or just a lot of determination can churn out dozens of crap romance novels and perhaps make that work. and that’s valid. yknow, i respect the hustle.

but quality and authenticity take time and this industry moves SO goddamn slow that even if you can write a sellable book in a month it’ll be two years before it comes out so what’s the point in writing to the current market?

i don’t care what you think privately about maggie stiefvater or shiver but i DO care that there’s this strange culture that if something is a little bit tropey or a little too much like something popular it has to be a cash grab. that authors are doing this for the money. some are. most aren’t.

maybe i’m just a bit sensitive bc i’m working towards hopefully the final round of edits on a book heavily inspired by six of crows and i agree wholeheartedly with the blog post i linked above. i’ve ranted before about how important authenticity in writing is to me and how much i hate the implication that i value quantity over quality or whatever the fuck.

so here’s a post that is probably too long with a whole lot of numbers to tell you that sometimes people are actually honest. and sometimes people do care about art for art’s sake. and if you don’t like a book, that’s okay, but at least dislike it for accurate reasons, thank you

[falseandrealultravival]

Lao Tzu(老子), All chapters bibliographical ~ ~ Part 1(1/3) :Essay

Lao Tzu(A paperback book cover:Chuko Bunko)

The Chinese classic "Lao Tzu(老子)" is a short document consisting of a short sentence fragment and 81 chapters (5,000 words), but its meaning is very deep. From now on, I will divide it into three parts and list the keywords and key points of each chapter. It is written as @ 1 = Chapter 1. 81/3 = 27 chapters each. The source is from "Lao Tzu" (Tamaki Ogawa, translation: Chuko Bunko). Above all, this blog makes sense to index and organize the Lao Tzu in me.

@ 1: "The true way cannot be told (free translation: the original text is" the Tao(way )to say is not the usual way "" & "difference in presence / absence / superiority of nothing to presence" ...・ From the beginning, one of the most difficult chapters in Lao Tzu.

(Note) The phrase "what the way should say is not the usual way" and "everyday = immutable" are not "immutable" ways if the way can be told (in Mr. Ogawa's note). ... is said to be. However, instead of the concept of "everyday = immutable road, principle", the meaning of the word "everyday" is taken to another meaning, and it is called "everyday = ordinary", and the way in general is called "way". It seems reasonable, too, so I said, "The true Tao(way )cannot be told," in the sense that it contains both contradictory meanings of "always."

As evidence of this, Zhaozhou was asked, "What is the way?" In a question and answer with a disciple of Zen Buddhist priest Zhaozhou Congshen, which was established under the influence of the Daojia idea. "Is it a way? If it's a way, it's straight to the city." It looks like the metaphysical questions have been rejected in advance. I think that more concrete words than abstract metaphors are appropriate for the teaching of "reality-based" Lao Tzu. The understanding of Zhaozhou Congshen's way is also valid. Even so, if "remarks about the usual way are meaningless", then one volume of "Lao Tzu" would be meaningles.

@ 2: "Relativity of beauty and ugliness, elimination of binary opposition" (everyone in the world regards something as "beautiful"At that time, it was already ugly. ) ‥ ‥ ‥ ‥ ‥ ‥ ‥

@ 3: "Don't make heavy use of wise man" & "Don't value hard-to-find coins" (Don't value and don't ask for hard-to-find items) & "If you ”do　do nothing” it won't never settle down, "Don't do anything" ... One of the fundamental concepts of Lao Tzu. However, spending lazy days is not called do nothing.

@ 4: "The function of the Tao is that the pot does not run out of water" & "Wako Doujin(和光同塵)" (Saints do not exert their inner power and light (Wako) and live like ordinary people . (Same dust))

@ 5: "Just like there is no jin(kindness) in the heavens and the earth, there is no jin in the saint" & "Don't talk too much" (In this case, jin is the basic concept of the Confucian family = the kindness of the human heart, and is a human being. This is the reason, but Lao Tzu denies it.)

@ 6: "The goddess of the valley (where water gathers) is immortal."

@ 7: "Since the saint does not have itself, It will complete its personal affairs."

@ 8: "Water is close to the Tao" "It is in a place where everyone despises, not fighting for all things" "Greatest good is like water": Lao Tzu praises water.

@ 9: "I should stop holding things that are impossible"

@ 10: "(Chapter that wrote about a kind of meditation)"

@ 11: “Nothing “has great uses.

@ 12: "Don't get lost in external stimulation" & "Hard-to-find coins" (@ 3)

@ 13: "It care about the evaluation of others because It has its own body. If It doesn't have a body, what harm will attack it?" "Only for those who value only their own body, we can

trust the nation. (See the contradiction-filled chapter, @ 7.) The only people who can do this will be those who have near-death experiences.

@ 14: "What you can't see, what you can't hear, what you can't catch: It's the work of the Tao to recognize these."

@ 15: "Write the state of an old man."

@ 16: "Even if all things flourish, they will definitely return to their roots." "← Those who know this truth will reach the Tao."

@ 17: "Four classifications of kings" (The best king only knows that there are such people.

The king of the next rank was praised by the people ... and so on.)

@ 18: "The Tao(way) is gone and there is a righteousness. ← Relativizing the fundamental concept of the Confucian family .: The virtues of Jin (仁)and Gi (義)are born after the Tao is lost." (See @ 5)

@ 19: "Abandon the sacred and wisdom, abandon the jin and righteousness, and the people will benefit and be filial." & "Araki: Wood as it is cut out. "Is the state before it is processed into various parts and used, and Lao Tzu praises this.

@ 20: "What is the value of learning?" & "People seem to have floated at a banquet, but I'm like a baby who hasn't laughed yet. I'm cheerfully fed by the breasts of my mother's way. It’ s a good

@ 21: "The great virtue" & "Ecstasy:" Etymology of ecstasy "

@ 22: "The twisted one remains completely."

@ 23: "It is against nature to be chattering at any time. The same is true of natural phenomena." (Hyofu: heavy wind does not end the morning, and showers (heavy rain) also end the day.

@ 24: "Unreasonable behavior does not last long."

@ 25: "The Tao was born before the heavens and the earth."

@ 26: "The great person doesn't act lightly." Even if I t encounter a wonderful scenery while traveling, It doesn’t get out of the car.

This situation is called "Swallow stand still absolutely". Because it knows its importance in the world.

@ 27: "Those who win things do not leave a mark of their actions." & "Saints do not abandon anyone." "Masters ... teachers and disciples(師資).": From the perspective of saints, Almost everyone is imperfect, but it hone itself (capital(資本): this is the same usage as capitalism today).

(Note: The anecdote of Zhaozhou at @ 1 is sourced from "Zen: Living in the Present: Kazuyoshi Kino, NHK Publishing".)

[redwood-and-maple]

Ogham Meditations: The Second Aicme

I have been writing my meditations on the ogham feda, or letters, and I've found it a very valuable experience, so I wanted to share my thoughts.

The meanings, keywords, and pronunciations of each letter is from Erynn Rowan Laurie's book Ogam: Weaving Word Wisdom. Everything else is my own.

hÚath - H

(oo-uth) Meaning: Terror Keyword: Despair

Fear and despair are both things that stop movement, for me. Terror tries to activate movement through the fight or flight response, but there is also freeze. I think of when I went through my crisis in 2014-15 after a lifetime of depression. Was my body trying subconsciously to inspire action through fear? In some ways, it worked, because I finally got help. However, the fear was also so intense that I had trouble doing basic things like sleeping.

Fear is a method of protection. However, risk is inherent in many aspects of life. We must take risks. We even get dopamine from facing our fears successfully, which is why some people thrill-seek. Fear, thrill, excitement, desire... they are all so closely connected.

How do I work with fear as a partner? How do I acknowledge fear and then decide for myself if I want to move forward? How do I allow myself to fear, to scream all the way down the roller-coaster?

hÚath is the mark of the Morrigan.

May she guide me through the terrors of battle to righteous victory.

Dair - D

(dar) Meaning: Oak Keyword: Strength

Strength of the oak. Strength of the druid. Strength of the lion. Strength of the maiden.

Strength of the oak to grow tall, to grow in light, where other tree have not yet gone, to grow old, with deep roots, to grow hard and sturdy wood used only by master crafters, for doors and houses to last generations.

Strength of the druid, in touch with the spirits of the land, who has forged knowledge and lived experience into wisdom.

Strength of the maiden, master of her own mind, sovereign of her own self, beholden to no one. She who embraces the wildness of the self, lets it be wild, lets herself be wild, but also calms the wildness, the anger, the frenzy.

Compassion is strength. Gentleness is strength. Living is strength. Scars do not diminish strength.

Perhaps Dair is the mark of the Dagda to me. Perhaps Dair is the roots of the oak in my gut, supporting the fire in my heart.

Tinne - T

(CHIN-uh) Meaning: Ingot (bar of metal) Keyword: Mastery

Mastery. Could be a symbol of Lugh, Master of All Arts. The ingot. The forge. Skills that seem like magic. Skills are magic.

What does it mean to be a master? It's not perfection, which is impossible. Is it the ability to teach others? Maybe, but not necessarily. It's a level of skill, hard to measure. But it feel good. You may not know where the peak of a mountain is, but at some point you see the vista. See how far you have come.

It's something you build up to. There must be joy as well as challenge. Challenge without joy is suffering. Joy without challenge eventually loses its meaning, becomes boredom. Balanced, you feel joy in reaching higher each time, and struggles aren't crushing.

Lugh, may I find this balance. May I continue to reach ever higher.

Coll - C

(kull) Meaning: Hazel Keyword: Wisdom

Wisdom, nine rivers, nine hazel trees, the salmon in the pool. Mastery vs wisdom. Mastery of skill, earth of air, wisdom of the heart, water of air. Master of skills, wisdom of... ethics? Philosophy? Things you know, but more than know. Things one embodies, acts out every day. Experience.

Wisdom is the calm waters of the pool. Wisdom connects to the heart, the subconscious, the Otherworld. Psychology and spirituality are often linked. The human mind is a vast and mysterious place.

I can be wise and struggle to embody wisdom. That is being human.

Wisdom and inspiration are connected through the story of Taliesin and Cerridwen. Fire and water, things that should mix mixing. How are they similar and different? I'm not sure. Perhaps next time.

Ceirt - Q

(kyert) Meaning: Rag or Shrub Keyword: Misfortune

Misfortune. Sometimes bad things just happen! Sometimes things are out of our control. We tie clooties on trees, we pray, we try to blame ourselves, but sometimes it doesn't work. I think Picard once said "Sometimes you still fail, even if you do everything right."

Mental illness. Even when we are able to change ourselves, it is a slow thing, not linear. Sometimes it seems like all of our work is undone. "Brain does what it wants," I've said.

But this is only sometimes! When we ride out the storms, eventually the sun comes out again. If not, get help in what ways you can.

There are some things you can change, and some things you can't. It's against our nature, us homo sapiens, so good at thinking, but we need to let go of the things we can't change and focus on the things we can.

[pazak-thion-brady]

1. Bedroom or cafe's if I know I need to focus and hit a deadline. The human noise helps.

2. When the plan comes together and the ideas just slot together properly.

3. Starting a new song and having no inspiration for what it should be.

4. I usually have PM Seymore binge compilations on in the background.

5. Composer, Steven Sondheim and Joe Hisaishi

6. I don't usually create characters, but fav character I've written for was Chloe Price in Life is Strange musical demos.

7. Terry Pratchet/Rick Riordan.

8. Five man band.

9. Romantic or ballad scenes

10. Ana's Mitchel

11. Listen to songs in the style I want it to be, go ajzijejzdisj this doesn't work, listen to different songs until something sounds right, copy down the sheet music, fuck with it, delete it then try to re create the fucked with version from memory.

12. Alcohol, partying, gaming, general forced socialising.

13. Listen to new music and broaden my stylistic knowledge.

14. For Gideon The Ninth the musical demos, I reaserched Gregorian chant music for the first tike since I dropped out of university due to stress of not understanding shit.

15. Listening to new music

16. Spotify

17. 3-5 hours on a good day. When starting a new project I always spend like 8 hours making the first song taking little to no breaks in a writing frenzy then regretting it the next day.

18. I'll usually throw out the whole song and write something completely new.

19. This is a show of death and love a grizly tale we tell, of liers, lyctors, lesbians and cavaliers that fell.

20. Check my YouTube in bio for the first 5 songs.

21. She owns you.

22. Most I've had is 22, current one is only 4.

23. Multi, that's what works in musicals best. Just to give the lead actors little breaks and time for quick changes.

24. Lyrics are basically just poetry.

25. Linear, non linear plays don't do that well. Might try one, one day.

26. Stand alone. It's hard to do a series of plays. Not impossible but hard.

27. Roughs are my demos that go out as part of a pitch document.

28. Fucking everyone.

29. The gays. Aka me. I write things I want to see.

30. "Oh Rachel see you someday, upon that silver screen. I will hold you close, again, see you soon my queen." Sung by a hopeless tumblr lesbian in a story set in 2013.

31. Captain Aiglamene, she appeared in 1 scene and I couldn't get a vibe for her musical identity so I just went generic as fuck with her.

32. Surt. His music was so fun and just flowed. I wrote his song in 1 sitting.

33. Technically yes. I'm writing music though.

34. Scrawled on the walls. I'm mentally sane I swear.

35. Jesus the lesbian is a wannabee escape artist who just wants to escape Pluto and join her dad's army.

36. She dies.

37. "What's the point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes" Dan Hardcastle. Aka Nerd³.

38. Well the outline is someone else's story I'm adapting sooooo, very good, great success.

39. Not my original characters.

40. Essentially fanfiction, of what if this story was full of gay people singing.

41. Currently 3. Trying to focus on 1 but 3 are burning in the background.

42. Look at fan art and take an amalgam of popular costume parts.

43. Yes in audio book format. I'm horribly dyslexic and books hurt my eyes and brain.

44. This will be in my head all day.

45. It's impressive to make boring non classical music.

46. It would look fucking dark and need to be animated. Animated musicals are fucking pumping potion cat snake.

47. I start by reading the book that already exists and song spotting. Going through the book and going, that scene should be a song. Oh this is dramatic as shit, song. Awsw tender, song.

48. Rock.

49. The middle, it slogs.

50. The current one, lesbian necromancers solving a murder mystery in space and singing.

51. Skeletons, ginger, Catholic, goth, lesbians.

52. I started writing when I was fucking depressed and it helped me out of my mental illness. 5 years ago.

53. It means escape from the darkness.

54. If you're thinking about writing, write. If you keep putting it off you'll never write anything.

New ask game for writers

1. Favorite place to write. 2. Favorite part of writing. 3. Least favorite part of writing. 4. Do you have writing habits or rituals? 5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most. 6. Favorite character you ever created. 7. Favorite author. 8. Favorite trope to write. 9. Least favorite trope to write. 10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. 11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish. 12. How do you deal with self-doubts? 13. How do you deal with writers block? 14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? 15. Where does your inspiration come from? 16. Where do you take your motivation from? 17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day? 18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like? 19. First line of a WIP you’re working on. 20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on. 21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s. 22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you? 23. Single or multi POV, and why? 24. Poetry or prose, and why? 25. Linear or non-linear, and why? 26. Standalone or series, and why? 27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 28. And who do you share them with? 29. Who do you write for? 30. Favorite line you’ve ever written. 31. Hardest character to write. 32. Easiest character to write. 33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing? 34. Handwritten notes or typed notes? 35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________. 36. A spoiler for story _________. 37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you. 38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it? 39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one. 40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why? 41. How many stories do you work on at one time? 42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc. 43. Are you an avid reader? 44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. 45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. 46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie? 47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story? 48. Favorite genre to write in. 49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end? 50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had. 51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words. 52. How did writing change you? 53. What does writing mean to you? 54. Any writing advice you want to share?

[battlecruiseranthracite]

𓆣 4, 15, 26, 29 for the ask game 𓆣

hello hi hello!

 4: Hard to say, really. I would say the two series that I've liked the most have been The Last Dragon series and Artemis Fowl, but they're likely colored by rose tinted goggles more than a bit. Worm is definitely a top contender, even if I quite like that one largely for the many many fanfictions it's inspired rather than the novel itself.

 If I truly had to say only one novel, gun to my head I'd say Armageddon?? by Stuart Slade would have to be my favorite. It's techincally not a true published work, but that's largely due to the fact that it was leaked all over the web my the first publisher he sent it to for ideological reasons. Basically the premise is that god declares that heaven is closed and true believers should lay down and die, and while some humans do that a lot more of them say 'Well that sounds like a raw deal' and flip the bird to god, and in response the armies of hell march upon the world. While I love the premise, apparently some person who read the manuscript thought it was blasphemous and leaked it all over the web, making it essentially unpublishable. It really sucked, because Stuart Slade had already written the second book as well, but without funds couldn't afford to write the third one. The second book is also up online, and the series actually developed enough of a cult following that he started writing the third book and posting chapters online, but unfortunately shortly afterwards he died of Covid and thus the series will never be finished and all the amazing plot threads will never really be resolved. Really good two books however, look up The Salvation War if you wanna read it, and if you have trouble finding it lmk and I can help!

15: This one was hard so I have 2 sentences.

Less alliteration version: A being in flux, trying to get herself off the ground and into the world, finding out how to connect with others and waiting for the other shoe to drop, impossibly tired yet pushing onwards in hope that one day she’ll find a home where she can create and rest and feel safe.

More alliteration version: Confusing confounding Creature full of contradictions, who currently is in a cruddy and confusing place and feels more and more cracks every day, but despite that continues to claw her way through the calamities of life.

26: Kinda cruddy, I’ve had a pressure or infection or something at the back of my nose for a while and I tried washing my nose with a netty pot only to realize after that you cant just use tap water, you have to actually use a saline solution. Also tried washing it with some raw apple cider vinegar which may have been a bit of a mistake. Got some nasal spray, so I do hope that kicks in sooner rather than later.

Buuuut I have finally been able to sit down to play some EDF 6, so hey, that’s p nice.  Its been a longass day and its nice to have a bit of time to relax, even if I will need to go to sleep kinda soon.

29: Ok this one is REALLY hard because essentially every single song I listen to has no lyrics lmao. I think my fav song lyrics at the moment however are from I Just Want To Exist by Empty blue, the opening thing really hits hard and is a huge mood that I feel right now.

I didn't ask to be here, to be a part of any of this I was just sort of born onto this planet and in this life And every day since, I've had to validate my existence Prove myself at school, prove myself at work, prove myself to my community, prove myself to God I have to pay to stay alive, I have to work so that I'm able to pay I have to grind away to get all of these resources that aren't even mine because I have to get them to someone else just to validate me (I deserve to exist, deserve to exist)